Alanis Morissette is a Canadian-American singer, songwriter, record producer, and actress. Alanis chats with the Armchair Expert about finding music as a young kid, the concept of "deserving" fame and the attributes of being a highly sensitive person. Dax is hung up on one of her song lyrics and Alanis shares what it's like to be a principal's daughter. The two talk about shedding the desire for loyalty, they dissect the word perverted and they talk discuss the fundamental difference between Canadian and Americans.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome. Welcome Robin Armchair expert Dan Shepherd Joy. By Monica months there, so this episode was come on a Monday. I guess we kicked it down the road a little bit, but here we are, We are its incumbent upon us to point out that this was recorded before the many George Floyd protests in everything that's happening. So please don't interpret a lioness or our lack of bringing it up as a little at CERN or see us yeah and we'd all addressed it in fact like either. This episode has nothing to do with what is currently happening in they'll. Be a few of these. We have a few in the and so with all that said, a lioness more set. You know she's a seven time, Grammy jagged little pill, billions of copy sold, and we could talk to her about her new album and all the incredibly detailed and diligent work she does for mental health. So please enjoy miscellaneous more set.
We are supported by ass, let it grains I have at every morning. It always gives me a little zip in my step, it's hard to find in all in one daily nutritional beverage for improved health and PETE performance, but athlete it Greens has done it. There are seventy five vitamins, minerals and whole food source ingredients have led a greens is a green super food powder designed to fill the nutritional gaps in your Diane, bolster the four pillars of health energy got health amene support in recovery without a pre by out Ex probiotics adapted Djinns digestive enzymes, superweeds more, I like it cause. I actually can feel it's the only vitamin supplement of ever taken away life, or I can feel it in my body
Also, it's absolutely delicious. I look forward to downing a eight oz glass of it every single morning, if you're interested in upping your health, routine and you're. Looking for one of the best most complete formulas out there, you definitely want to check out athletic greens. They deliver it straight to your door, it tastes great and it's high quality athletic greens may be the single best thing you can do for your help and success this year. I can't stress this enough jump over to athletic greens. Come Slash Dax in claim an armchair special offer, a twenty serving pack for free, that's valued at seventy nine dollars with your first purchase. You can also claim this offer in the UK and the EU. Using the same, you are out, that's f, let it greens dotcom slashed acts we are
ported by article as the weather heats up in the days get longer. Article is here to make your dream patio a reality with whether resistant dining sets loungers and sofas. Article selection of outdoor furniture make it easy to create your patio oasis in time for the summer season now Monica you're about to decorate an outdoor living space, and I have to cherish from article they are gorgeous gorgeous, say really. I they look so sturdy and comfy aesthetically, please, and you have a really high style bar. We are often applauded on here for your style, its impeccable. We all admire it if it passes the Monica Patman style test them by God. It's good enough, for you, article combines the curator of a boot teak furniture store with the comfort and simplicity of shopping online articles. Team of designers focuses on beautiful, crafted pieces, quality materials and durable construction, their dedicated to a modern, a static of midcentury scandinavian, industrial in Bohemia designs,
of the thirty percent over traditional retail prices. Article is able to keep their prices low by cutting out the middlemen, wherein the cut off the middlemen, business Magua, how article offering arm cherries fifty dollars off your first purchase of a hundred dollars or more go to article dotcom slice. Dax in the discount will be automatically apply to check out. That's article dot com, Slash Dax, to give fifty dollars off your first purchase of a hunter, Furthermore, he's this is so by the way. Who is that my husband there's your husband. Would you call no soy so I saw he thought clever had named everybody now I call him sole source.
So I like that, how ebbing you guys amending their? Why, like eleven years and yet tat, you were approaching thirteen la if we make it an isolation, will Wilson yeah. You know a lot of the boards happening. You know why, because it all those of us who want to exit those of us who were flatters, we, like the where'd you go into the next room and brutal gas forever It is not by our new. I had a good few days rose like Kay, where my going I'm good heavily moving out of this house on Africa's last PPP rain outposts, Burnham activity I go this kind of announced lovingly as best as possible. When I go into a room all right now or I'm setting? ones expectations of your legs. I like it. I like, by the way one of the biggest breakthroughs in my wife. A nice relationship was the therapists said, look taxes and exotic he's a scumbag.
He always thinks he's in trouble. You have depression, your prone to get quiet when you're quiet he thinks he's in trouble it undeserved. Meander is all you gotta do to stop. This cycle is just tell him hey. This has nothing to do with you. I just have depression and for literally that's all it took for me at least, there are other issues, of course, we're married, but that that was a huge one. Does a cycle. Of her being quiet me thinking, I'm in trouble than me. Thinking of something then been mad at her cause, I'm in trouble- and I didn't doing enough the theory that if you're wounded in the same way as in your committed and there's intimacy, gonna be hearing, but if there's no commitment or there's no intimacy now, here s an hour in the hot kitchen painted raided the corner, and I guess that's when for us too, we ve had. Some major breakthroughs during this time is its basically being able to get out of the hottest. Oh yeah yeah I mean, is the ultimate test of a commitment for meters. These three phases of the first, aids is infatuation you're, a lover each other. You can't get enough second phase, as you realize this, is the relationship of your nightmares
all the time, and I think that's what most people break up young. In theory. The third phase is when you actually participate and help each other out yeah when it is truly hard to help your partner because involves speak for myself, they stop becoming a human like. I have to actively stare at my wife- and I owe this is a person she's, a little girl that grew up and she has needs and desires, but we're in this business relations. Or were raising two kids in it's really easy to just recognise oceanic excellency. I handle a b and C. This is all working in. Mean I got a regularly go. Oh, she has needs to cheeks is. She's, a real person other than their mother of my children and my wife right how old are you, kids? They are five and seven. I assume we're all still in the trenches. My father said, you know, don't worry about it, just the first,
the years of the hardest copycat each other's lack for the role of the world. But when I read about you, did it and I looked at the order of your children, a gimme enormous anxiety, because you had your second one six years after the first, because we have a five and a half in its Thou, manageable? You know she can actually get cereal for herself and step by the notion of a new born in my house. Right now is terrifying, even I loved the experience of it. Just thought of it is terrifying, so how'd you end up doing it. In that order, not all of it was the ideal situation that I had a bunch of miscarriages mauler pregnancy. They are chasing it just showing up and then surprises and then devastations, while all of it, but I mean I do trust I have this trusts pilot liking.
Keeps cutting alive even when there's a tyrannical, downpour, still flickering of hope and faith in and vision for, for something you work out. Whatever is: are you an optimist by nature? You a pessimist. Cynical optimist. I felt like a smart optimist. Thanks I am an optimist who will get depressed and cry, but at the end of the day there is still a little light, but Little star Bethlehem keeps dangling over there. One of the areas that in relationships conflict is growth trying to happen, but I think the man is worse than movies and songs. Everything is that it for fighting. We should break up yet whereas I got dump so many times because you'd start to fight, and I would be thinking this is it. We're getting our growing and they will again I liked it when I was just happy with you.
Allowed. Chewing was cute, and now all of a sudden, I see a very loud minors, well, parliament vixen, and how can we not who created the whole embargo model? They say that most couples don't really get into feeling really really safe. If there's some level of trauma- let's be honest, there was a level charming? Eighty percent, who are at least three of people there were locked up there. You know it takes up to an average seventy eight years before a couple starts a really can get into the good stuff that big. While we had made being Burke Harrison who's the California surgeon general. We were. About childhood trauma it's out its ten right, and I think I was a seven- is call and all all my friends from home. I'm like listen to this episode. We did. I want your number, I didn't call with anyone under sat in. We found each other. You know you have a really I guess I beg where we are intellectually, where we are sometimes emotionally and where we are.
Their level of degree of trauma or a wounded. This is like a magnet yeah. You know really close friend of mine's getting sober and we've been kind of doing this stuff together, and we start to talk about friendships and stuff in in this end occurred to me until just talking to him about this, but this is a clue like. I would have defined one of the most important characteristics of friendship to be loyalty, and it was identical to my friend, who is newly sober and any There are looking at all of his friendship connections right now loyalties the number one thing and I was like you know when I think about it- the longer I've been sober. What are these? Not a very big deal to me anymore, like I dont need someone to be loyal to me and I think it's very related to at the time I felt like such a piece of shit. My secrets were so dark that I needed to know you,
their. Despite what a scumbag I am, and now that I'm not really that big of a scumbag like I'd rather have someone who's funny than loyal I'd rather have someone who's generous than loyal in that treaty. Yes, I think it's diminished, because people hang over people that they didn't like anything about him other than that, the very loyal I don't know that's the greatest basis for a friend. You hope is that that's number one reason to like someone and is not going to be enough compatibility, but I think being in a friendship for you or your on eggshells and you don't feel safe. That's not awesome. That's not going to be a friendship. An on line of the loyalty conversation was like. I need a friend that, when this shit hit the fan there there well guess what, when the shit's, not hitting the fan, any more, that it is not the most important part of the friendship like for me, the shit you stay at the fan a lot I had to call me. Fucking get over you're right now. You know I'm down down when we address. Let's not talk about loyalty, then this may be a scenario
thing, but a problem not unless was just call straight up, maybe enabling were could others fine words, but yeah loyalty of back at a huge cost is not really there's something else gone on loyal just means. I know I don't know you and we're both at one deathbeds at a hundred and twenty two and anything help my be I'll, be right there that's loyal and also for to move your furniture with you any I have a problem. You call me, but I'm not gonna help you get rid of a body like those days are over. That's why I think we got the right now. That's that's! That's, given only so. Both parents were teachers. You're too was a principle yeah yeah still worse, he used to amend catholic school. The whole ride just
from who I am looking at that environment. It would make me a dualistic really quick, like I would have just felt, not worthy of that cut. Like teach your parents catholic school, I just feel like there would have been a assigned of me. They didn't feel accepted by those environments. Do you mean like the barn was set high and there was perfectionism and stuff like that? Yet I would guess perfectionism the expectations and active, and possibly he had those were all there and then maybe, like some restrict morality. He had to think of it. Catholicism two is for me God now I didn't want to throw the God baby out with the bathwater. You know, like so many beautiful things within Catholicism and then somebody horrifying things that were so separatist and so too vices. Ouch. So what I did I stepped back and I discovered he's dismissed researched every possibly care about as many religions as I could and a quarter. Jewish didn't know that only found out about ten years ago. There is the threat of cod
only through every religion that I've got to run about. So much of it speaks about spearing some version of oneness. They all have different word for it. Which is a real challenge for some of us in the west, the challenge of what We do in the midst of uncertainty because as human since my ego wants to compromise and get you. I know it's happening next week. Next week, control control I've been in recovery for various welcome all things for years to ends We want to afford ourselves some relief for some old breath in doing so general were chasing and always addictions some sense of relief I've been really happy about this trend, lately being a lot more merciful with addictions and and basically seeing how much further reaching out for some out breath. Now, when I think about high school principle, of course, I go to my high school principle.
And the other principles I was aware of in my district in to me. It seems like it's such a crazy dynamic that, when you're the principle or superintendent, there has to be this pressure that your children are the example that you're trying to set in school. Yes, unless you like you're some crazy of all person, I don't know how that would be in the next. What we all have our survival strategies to the one that gets the most kind of overt acting out attention is the rebellion or the scapegoat, or the thought you were. But for me because I love education. So thankfully I was getting strategies in school Ok, but one of the survivors strategies for there were so many of us is also just trying to be the best kidding it really depressed about the be minus, you know so. I actually have a really software for those shoes. People say you never have to worry about her him. There find us The response of those are the ones that are like, oh god, we're gonna blow
because if you even in terms of energy, that are the ones who are anymore, rebellious and Acta they're moving the enterprise their processing in some way, I guess I'm getting out of their body, but the ones who are kind of keeping breathing bound and imploring. I wasn't implode offers alarm, so people believe in your science or so intense under fire in their angry, and they make you. You know you people pleaser in Ya Now- and I would just like we had a thing about writing for me- is that I can go to a studio. Everything I y know censorship pulled out and there is also a circuitous route get the energy bill, but over a period of years, found that it was very cathartic to write in form, but it wasn't Healy, because I would sing sing songs over an over about specific people and had those p walked into the room Stillwell freaked out. So so I've come to learn that I actually have to speak to human beings, and I came
I can remember. Age is right about it or take a photo about it and call it a day. Yeah funny enough, we were. We are interviewing ed. Helms, he's very. Like he's a southern boy and he dresses nice for an interview, yet the instrument places a banjo which, by his own emissions like the most of noxious instrument, you can pull. In a circle of Europe, and then his characters are of noxious and it's like. Isn't it interesting? How in a how do get that like steam two is a rebellious instrument. Yeah. It's almost certain obtuse fuck you instrument, and it doesn't even have the same like the strings- are done in the way that all the other stringed instruments hospital Adele it's a fucking, but rather of refugees in a beautiful yeah,
blue grass. The ultimate Isaac you in the middle of a fucking, the waiter female, not accuse me. Do you in your twin have similar personalities? Are you guys, like opposite sides of the coin? Depends in some ways will finish each other senses. We still camping lie and that we are on this island camping with a bunch of our friends or night sitting on the fire and he was saying things to me and I responded, I said absolutely agree. I'll turn me in. They said agree with what, because no speaking, but my brother and I had just been light chatting yeah yeah yeah So yes, we have that and then were also really different. I mean we're for turn also to different eggs, sharp, and you see now still twins cause here in the womb together, but you ve certainly been asked if your brother's your identity twin right over the years
I don't like well, sir, requiring a little different milk milk lemonade round the corner for so anyways. Ok, but did you know as a kid you start? really quickly pursuing this or what I would say, very, very young age right, usurped, plain piano like six and then be, or long year? Recording your first album like an thirteen, he added TAT. Actually I wrote a song and send it to Us- my friend and he was such a sweetie, you passed away, unfortunately, but he heard the song recorded it at his farm and then when I went to visit. You surprise me by saying: hey, here's your track, Of course, my brother's as their want to do, told me many many times that I could see you say my lifecycle, who's gonna be all right but whose you see any said come on. You have a pretty boy, that's what I wrote it in and Back in the day when I was young,
consign young people now they'll sign you if you're an embryo, the shark back then they wouldn't so. I started a record company with my friend and I put a record out when I was eleven and then add a couple: songs, Sancho Records in Canada, but being expressed in any way and has been slightly torturers because it so multitudinous, sometimes right after rain it in life working actions. My number one and one of the signs of work addiction is a hundred and ten thousand percent and then bone dead really what you want, signs of origin is also procrastination, because we know how much of a toll takes our body, the test, it and that's when my leaving us is triggered, but it's really fear You know when you and your thousand percent movie I'm a little manage. Actually when I mean spired, ok, painting in photos and food,
in design and declaration producing interrupting and editing- and sometimes I just I get paralysed, doable unravel what part is like being an artist and being creative in and what part his ego be. Having ego gets me to show up ego made it. So I put lip hormones So you know it's really help me because he's been confusing to conquer ties of control at all, but I loved the multiple entry budgets theory so have how a gardener I'm. I bet Him to do my part cast a few years ago, it now I continued to bag. I said our generation busy ear he came on and we talked about the idea of their multiple intelligence, and so it takes so that person smart or that Britain's dumb completely out of the equation. Ok, I mean it's a physical intelligence, musical intelligence, math logic, intelligence, naturalist, intelligence is another one gardening.
I, like I, spatial intelligent, so you know if you someone's, really greater power core, but maybe there, charged with and linguistic intelligence, You can no longer say that person's really smart. For me, our family. We have two qualified now, so if someone says, while the persons a genius about a genius hat, right and Howard lesson not audacious enough to say I answer. He said you know what I've loved adding is that communicant intelligence, because I really think that that is a muscle and tell it that It can cultivate it, but it's either in your bones or not yeah yeah. I would agree with that and yes, I've known a lotta comedians at were just brilliant comedians. I don't know what you're Amerika was founded but clearly
the other so's you can't be quote dumb and be making observations that every now thought no one said is now going out of all just came up cause you're, watching the last stance that Michael Jordan Documentary the Bulls document, every Dennis Robin was talking about real rebounding and how he can see like where the ball hit someone's hand then how right- and I was like really, my god, that is Julia, said the other spatial and hell yeah an physical intelligence protein and emotional intelligence. Sir. I watched the answer is not to say I don't care if they have any other intelligences. This is just such a miracle offering yeah, bomber that so few of them can be monetize truthfully like you, we have again you're worried about them supporting themselves like this kid's of physical, is, are you gonna do with taking all be monetize? Looking like a true statement,
We can monitor, there's all kinds of different. Yes, that we have, and I love that it's the potential for this is that there is no such thing as a smarter, stupid person. The are now at the age of their dinner when you're pursuing this. If you hadn't assign percentages like what, what percentage do you think was intrinsically motivated and what was exe ethically motivated in your pursuit of of music. I definitely had major visibility issues of the eye, for me was that I had that hand thing. I also had a don't look at me. So they were always fighting it turns it was ego or was it just like destined Adam S- is essential imperative for me a feel expressed when I'm not expressed in anyway. I feel super depressed, but then where's. My ego had been so the same Bela goods. I think that the whole planet is around fame. Is that the second, your famous you'll be loved in The part yoga look in the mirror and love who use ie
If they do, then I will set up he's because it is all movement were people say You gotta love yourself. First, her you gotta, do your individual work and yes, and no I one can't actually see. There's somebody blind spots that I have that unless there interacting and its brought to light, there's no way for me to grow, and I think it's ball. If I think we have to I shall have to relationships and if I'm only doing that, damned full blown, you know codependent love attic. So the alarm to autonomous inner work individually is equally important, yeah. Well, I think anytime, you think about humans and you're, offering a binary option. I think you're yard. What there is no way now back to win were young in performing what percentage of it was justice, intrinsic joy of making music and and how much of it was in search of validation and praise
silly question may be. I think it's really great question. The word praise got makers. It was more than a kind of an attachment thing. Faint is interesting because it basically says any attachment you and you have an attachment. What do we get? Me gets Ghana skin we have eyes looking at us people contacting us. We have to admit to lead and really so I feel like phasing. We have all your attachment needs met, but then, as we all know, once you get energies exacerbates. What's there are ready? So if I'm scared of something it's just good exploded terror, so it's a nice the questioner- probably fifty, I don't even know I desire you, that's why they needed to put a number. I was really bad question, but Bob both were happening, and you know it's not. That kind of keen to a grinding halt was on after JAG little pill for the detour we did for that. I came home and I remember thinking world. This is not what I anticipated so much.
Of course, but also a lot of suffering and disillusionment was going on so that I did I thought now. Why do we keep going and I remember I was dealing those did someone who was with me backstage after I got off stage. A large amount of people, the eyelids my Inga, wants to say there were forty four. Ass people to suicide comeback stage after the Show- and I hope you know he smiled boyfriend- it's just as there are no great you got there and he got so upset. He said you decide forty five thousand people screaming your name so excited, and yet you come back here. Do you need more feedback from me Oh, you don't understand. I love everyone, the eyes, but I don't know them. I'm not intimate you're. The one who's opinion matters to be. Can I go? further to this, because we just really unpack this at length. We did alive
Detroit, where I'm from in all these people that that I knew from childhood came, and I told Monica the only show that was like almost impossible for me to do exactly like. Oh no, no, I have adopted this kind of persona like I have a professional dance, stereo exterior that these people going to see through, like I can buy into it myself in Minnesota. When we go there, cuz there's no one there. That knows that, I'm not that person and then Monica goes oh yeah. I guess I would be free to go to Georgia New alive show because yeah it's just around here is how do you mean? Yes, those? Yet so do your story, those people that just so you on stage they saw the version of you that youth created and then the guy back stages. Hopefully the person who knows the real you and that's what you want to be validated forests, the kid inside of you right, not the professional onstage on behalf of both any for me, it is the language of real or false presentation. Oliver, I just think he's raw parts. So I agree- and I didn't see it
difference between Minnesota in Detroit shows where the truth is your showing that I would say generously as artists were, were showing parts of ourselves and sometimes are showing three parts in some sectors. A hundred and fifty parts in terms of being in the audience part of this sort. Active, I think that anyone in the public eye just lands and she without even knowing. Certainly, I wasn't warned is that your this screen upon which people just projector stuff anti rights? Also I remind you of your ex girlfriends. Ok, oh I remind you and mom and abandon you were not like female bosses. Ok and not all of its rejection? Obviously- But therein lies the beauty of choosing what you're going to put out, because you get to kind of pick what you're going to relate to or what's the thing people are going to identify with so the people that are attracted to your music. You know you kind of get the pic. I guess which is
They need thing about it, who you're gonna tracked. You know you can't argue in some level. You know you kind of your building a community in the think that attracts that community to you is ultimately in your hands. I think you're giving me a little too much. Like very fucking idea is listening to me until I stepped out, and then I, but I do think that residents is real. So I look at the audience sometimes and understand well, there's a roomful of very sensitive, very thoughtful to say, ok, so I'm speaking their language, but I have you been able to do that. I am unable to go right, a record for these people. I always just stick. I have people. Ask me with it with this new rubber I never know until it's finished and then I know about it, or two after any record comes out I'll get it
hence the objectivity, I know you're right, it's not calculated, but you do become aware of it. So for us, if we take questions at the end- and we start realising this pattern- that most of the people asking questions are kind of admitting to some that's hugely vulnerable met, someone normally admit out loud, and then we go. Oh god damn! That's awesome, that's the thing, they like, like they're they're, letting us how like oh yeah, man, I'm fucked up in flood tuna, my boy, I'm so grateful that that's the thing that brought us all together, but you're right. I didn't set out to do that. But I'm aware of Yeah. Can I ask you a cup of really fun like cheap question size? I live in us. What on earth was it like us? mean for vanilla ice, I just I mean dying to know what it was like to be on that to think I really like him. I've never met him, but I never met him either. You didn't know how I was instructed to not look at anybody, okay
so either beginning- and I said ok do problem I have to Answer- is ever so fed I was fifteen or sixteen and a huge audience bigger than I had ever play for it was just a heart, was completely out of my mind. Forty five days, a lotta dancing a lot of moving sweating, huge grin, I gotta do not be him, and I was instructed that if I saw anyone, not look and by the way you know people say all, that's a horrifying. That's not if you, the kind of person who gets air that all day long- and that is one of the my personal experiences to worry. As a young Canadian, I'm such a people watch you like. If I could sit on abandoned, just watch. People all that would be the most fun thing in the world. So all of a sudden I was sitting on, there benches a I am also became. The watch ed yam I I didn't agree this it.
I got used to me. I am so Katy, and so, when moving your America, I learned a lot of qualities that are maybe sorted typically, American, that I needed It called debate in order to be able to survive in watched that much you know, there's that it there's a confidence, any extra version that I had been exposed to as much in Canada. We interviewed Keith Morrison, my favorite date line and he just every fourth. The sentence was it. You seem so self indulgent to talk about myself. Like I know, you're in the interviews in whom we wrapped up you but yeah, that's it didn't! Culturally anywhere tie tat it anti narcissism like were tied to have low levels of nurses, and you need some level of healthy narcissism to pick a teacher. About the right for your, how you look at how we happened to the record, I will listen healthy level of narcissism,
and I did notice when I moved to La Los Angeles, the first six months, my having been there. I didn't speak because in Canada Why did it was it's all biological? So I'm not going to speak to something unless your curious about it. That was unconsciously touch So what I moved out, I'm sitting at all these dinners. And all I did was listened for six months. And I thought if I opened my mouth with my lifetime, I love Review America. Eyesight I have to learn how to share what its unsolicited. Not for a Canadian is, almost an impossibility. Wow, you know if you were oh kindly asking questions right now that somehow I'd have to use them. I shall be able to share and assume you wanna now in Canada. We assume you wanna, know about your asking here, because the canadian music, your first to arms, were more power, right you having learnt autobiographical in a lot of people. I was working with during that time,
started to write certain songs or lears that didn't write, you were a little intention, You bet I dont really quickly was go back to the dance person stay to arm chair, diffused air. If are supported by rang Warehouse a more than usual these days, but it still hard to keep a close eye on things more deliveries, me more boxes, left unattended and more opportunities for package's did go missing and I am waiting for a lot of fun shirts, to arrive so you better keep an eye on your ring you having at home, I have bring at home. I love it. I love to checking with my property all the time to see. What's crack and out there now, allow can happen outside the front. Doors were not always free to check things in person with ring. You keep your homes, if no matter where you are rings on a mission to make neighbourhood safer, their homes, security products are designed to give you peace of mind around the clock, from video, doorbells and security cameras to smart security lighting, an alarm systems ring as everything you need to sure your family and belongings are safe and secure any time. Any
It would be all new ring. Video doorbell three in keep an even closer eye on things than ever before. Also, smart lighting brightens a blind spots and make sure you always come home to a brightly lit house highlighted to us, thinking about the light pops on feel safer. It does give a special offer on the ring. Well, get when you go to ring dot com, Slash Dax. The welcome kit includes the ring video doorbell, three and chime pro. It's all. You need to start building customs security for your home today, just go to ring dotcom slashed acts, that's ring dot, slashed acts. We are supported by third love for my favorite topic. Berries boobies in Brazil is now third love. They do brows differently, I love em. Will they be? that every woman deserves to feel comfortable and confident every day and with the right kind of support. They help her. Do this design with measurements from Millions of women, their bra styles are made to fit your life. They have over. Eighty bra sizes. Remember really hard time find the right bra right yeah. They have a heart,
and finding the right, bra and like you could have to replace them where are they wear out now? Every brought is made for your comfort with memory, foam, cubs, no slip, straps and smooth scratch free bandwidth of printed, label. That's quite a halo thing: hang it off here's what you do you just use the fit find equations or a few simple questions about sixty seconds. You'll get a perfect fit. Did you know that the breast shape matters when finding a good fit? Third love helps you identify your breast size and shape in fine style that fit your body. Third love knows there is up. If a bra for everyone, so right now they are offering arm cherries. Fifteen percent off your first order, go to third love. Dotcom slashed Dax now define your perfect fitting bra get fifteen percent off your first purchase. That's third love dotcom slashed acts for fifteen percent off today, the other
pattern with a lot of Ya'Ll singers is like some success and then, like bonkers success like internet, there seems to be it's slightly different trajectory from a lot of the bans we like growing upwards, like it was a slow burn and then and then I think, a really easy pitfall of that is like impostors enumerated, go from like my first two albums did this in an opposite me, so thirty, three million elms and I am nominated Grammy's grammys- is that there's some fear of like oh fuck, I got lucky and I'll be exposed, and this is a mistake to do experience those feelings or re. Like now, I wrote this: this is my story. This makes total sense. I mean I would hope it's the latter, but it seems like its common for people to go like this can't be happening. I couldn't possibly deserve this, so Sutton stinks it'll get exposed. Familiar also imply that even when you see deserve deserve what a guy. Deserve the isolation. I don't deserve the adulation. I dont use
for neither so many elements to be in the public eye, some of them. Fine like while you just a bunch of products for free and then some of them are really hard and really isolating endeavour stating actually and traumatized logical chase faint from a place of trauma. Why me he'll it right, and then fame further compels, even transfers is a war or so I never thought I was falling someone I just felt really confused all the time. I think that's the preferred outcome, I'm happy to hear that and then it became if the ego part didn't grant. What is it according to be able to give you no joy tons of friends with a million celebrities, I mean I used, the Lebanese going high. Hang in there are you calling me now? I bet they also. Yes, they also, you know, and it still happens all reach out to saw nothing of this person,
If France excited, I can't believe you're gonna be the kind of friend, then lucky for you tat. There is this turning might without wool. Why would I continue and that which remained was still his joy expression, so that massive for me so much funds. We lived where I live nobody colored obnoxious, Call it channel your whatever the freak. The processes is my favorite alive for it. So, I get to keep doing that for me, I started noticing the people would say. Hey thing Her validating outer emphasising about her. He, my family member, just died and you. How will you help me through my divorce? Her then I started going up. This could be are expression, career and service, all squishing into activism For me, I remember doing right now, right there is a heart from this. In all, I would say all three of us wanted
somehow show up for people away while the up, so that became them the guiding force for me and it made it so that I can t because if that weren't there it I'd, I'd probably want to be in the public eye for ten minutes every ten years, yeah so the examples that I am aware of, and I'm pretty ignorant on music in general, but it's like any. Better was ok. I don't like that version, but I'm still going to do this and it seems like he. He created right in architecture for himself do it, and then I would say that about nor Jones is well. It seems like she's like she's, like ok that was raised. This is me yes, I, like what decisions? Did you make vaguer like here's, the version I'm open to doing like what were those actual changes, or reactions great question- why that was what I mentioned earlier in Canada. When I started writing and could
from the nine autobiographical stuff and started ready real stories of what's going on, and I was dissuaded to say the least from that. So I left before I make my mallard like collaborated with on Jack little Pill, remember saying to myself, I will last Until I made an environment where what I have to say- just valued in room. And I remember you writing- you ought to know swearing in it, and then I turned to Glenn after the Canadian that I am I said long obviously will have to change that rest in What do you mean change? It did you mean everything you said, and I said John, he said we're not changing. Have you were upset when you made your perverted, you mean you're, just sexual without me, simply to say that I think it doesn't sound is pretty it's not as far as actual again, it goes back to the thing I was maybe hinting at. I assume you have, or maybe I'm just projecting, but I had this great duality. Is a kid
I was my mom really believe in me and, thank God, she's the sole reason I've done anything in life. Should you wish. You believed in me to a degree that I felt was a little cumbersome I was like, but on the side I'm fucking around, so I just I had to do a Leti into me. My perving. This is par, Duelli. It's like. I have some kinky fun side of myself, that's not for everyone in it for me, and I like it its positive and once again with the semantics any for me. Perverted was gesture of directly implying having fun with it, yeah yeah. Not being scared, and the truth of the matter is so many of us who who talk. Game about how wild and crazy the iron how crazy our relations are sexually. Sometimes there go on there. I've had a lot of sexual He's my history and common to do. They said the responses that to be hyper sexual though I went through that for years,
And then I think it's only in marriage talk about the loyalty and the safety and the commitment area where I've been given. You know, without speaking, at a school where I've been given. This amazing opportunity to really you know, and then there were some years after particularly difficult, breakups righteous took a hopeful moratorium all of it, and so some would say that I was sexually interesting. I ran right between you and that's enough. There's the attic. Yeah I saw even the word. Reverted is just like to me. That just implies I'm wild and I dont have hang ups. We talk to this amazing doktor. Alex can happen get a hawk, is, I think, a lot of diseases that the best about sex addiction, and I said to her and really was probably question for myself. Unlike you know, there's this predictable behaviour as a result of trauma sexual trauma, and I I clearly have some of it. I said but it is what it is in so I now enjoy yet and should I have
Ignore are the result of the sexual from if it gives me pleasure- and I use different examples and she goes none up if their shame and secrecy than its bad right and if there's not, it's not. She said, there's a lot of people that have had really severe sexual trauma who desire recreating. In that she talked about the dominatrix relationship and that its this one four way. Yes, you live out the fantasy that is just reinjecting you're drunk, but you have the control and then she has broken down. As I owe you, that's us him, that's what it is it is it shame, and is it secret or not finance everything I think that's really give, but someone should be hold did not enjoy whatever it is they enjoy just because its rooted in trauma MIKE, I think, that's crazy, told us, I think, that's pretty, dictated. If someone is able to go right back into the belly of the beast and uninhabited and listened interaction, any whether its sexuality, whether its vain, whether its working with men. You know this,
these things that can contribute towards her myself were willing to go back into. It, the dungeon or the value of the beast and go in with a different consciousness and an awareness and empowerment. Maybe some boundaries in Iraq, I get it outwardly like the exacting circumstance, but in inside it's a whole different experience tat the other was. It clear, waited evaluate, you're on behaviour, you know, yeah and not make any anything right or wrong, except for those. Those are the indicators. I think that's really beautiful. How have you liked acting as compared to singing? I love it, but I haven't and she's did you know I? I love it and it's an honor. I really love doing voiceover love the sweat pan experience of just becoming a letter. Creature and sometimes when I write sauce for movies in some ways, the name the song becomes its own character or I'll. Look it the actors and all she
one of them and I ll sing through what I imagined to be their perspective or their lands yeah I'm gonna get because you did that the exact same time you started singing virtually Rex, you are on my favorite tv show. You can't do that on television I was, So it's probably like yeah. It's not like you decided. Oh now, oh accurate, already done that, but was it term, but the needs some of it was just super practical to write a song required me and a pen The tv show required fifteen hundred people. Yes, though, what look again looking out, but my energy in my room at eleven years old tv being in a tv show with pre existing people already that were on the show for years, newcomer the newcomers of funds a little bit unexciting with its also really sad and hard. It has come to light, we travel light in the military? What are your splendid all these new places in you're, the new kids school all the time so suffer, in an earlier experiences of acting were tougher. Just because I was the new girl,
Oh yeah. I think that all the time for our guest stars on the shore modem, like others, we were walking into this group- that's been spent the last two years together and any species in other parties, and so can be a wish I'm going to a new school Sometimes those skills are found. Sometimes it's like about the audition process for actors, really vulnerable, and I'm not telling you anything. You don't know I'm just like. I don't. I don't need this is distrustful for my body. I think that speaks out she d susceptibility. Is you know if someone's particularly sensitive time, mentally if there, in an environment that is loving it, they will actually bloom more so than someone who perhaps isn't a sensitive in that loving environment of tat makes sense and equally the opposite is true. If someone who's susceptible
and vulnerable is an environment. Its abusive they'll get more depressed and more suicidal and were more so perhaps than than the eighty percent of people who are as temporarily sensitive yeah. I read that you have been very public about having different eating. I don't even know it's there, words anymore eating disorders? Do we still call that I found the sort of thinking mood disorders yeah? I would call it on foodstuffs, first that the Good NEWS about The major had weighed in everyone's mean in terms of nutrients and superfluous. I don't think you're gonna, be anyone with any sort of doesnt know something information about nutrients and galleries, and micro, minerals and fight of chemicals. And then what happens after well. For me, the more I learned and experimented with it and took them dieting thing out of the question. I had a whole different relationship with my body I was doing so extreme stuff like marathons,
I did the New York Marathon with each one and one like I was just push, my god: Here's the attic, it's it's a good that street name is swine We re isn't that what age? I just don't like the way the grocers name ever given through a disease line noise while whereas runway You know of moist Swine Flu, Laurie moist moist swine flu panties disorder. The gross words, and more so time. There's deprivation I mean any time someone somewhere acidity. You can never be ready. Should again. I mean what am I gonna be obsessed with tackling Zurich, the eventually Janine Roth helped a lot for me with food, and she showed this really credible, storing where a mom is concerned about her daughter's eating disorder, so she spoke with G and I think it's in one of her books, so not speaking at a school, but
said a case two years I ask you to do what's your daughter's favorite food is, she said eminence you fill a pillow case full of evidence and just give it to her and tell her she can eat it any time she wants. So the man was scared to do this, but she did it. She trusted Janine Daughter brought the bags to her. Locker was with her all the time. She's alienating immediate. First, if think, couple weeks I'm making with this upsurge in your butt gain some weight. So the called sitting back and said this: is it Ok, she's gaining make engineer, just stay the course so and she kept eating, as, as might be predictable, eventually, shoes agony, is any time day or night and I got a whole frickin bagful in my mom fills it up any time, its anti. So there's this abundance mindset. The create a little bit more freedom, and now I was the turning point from the minutes. Fifty thousand tentacles to the recovery of food stuff That was a big turning point and I called it free eating
You know- and I also we just add things- another tough one, as you know the whole addicted. Black and white. Like a meeting six walkers today, I gotta like carrots, sticks and so for me, when I'm working or chatting your hangs, renders never talk about this. I just go, don't take it! out just add, does address movie adsense finnish right. I have the five library where we need to speak and then add an emotionally to like for me, because I was so over stimulate another time. That's why we eat so much food at midnight. When it was quiet in the house, I would notice some attic there be eating and I'd be taking these deep, breaths Siena up. That's why away to the kitchen was empty it. In the morning. It was the first moment I could have to think in oak is a lifetime's with certain temperaments, specially highly sensitive
I can be in the middle of thinking about fifty two things and if my husband or my friend We need you any dinner now be like you know like Someone may not know their interrupt their, not interrupting anything as their silence in the room, but there's so much going on in here. That right is something interesting there because there's also like, but, as you said there, somebody tentacles in there's somebody like the first umbrellas. We all kind of it seems commonality. Now that it's always just a control thing, but look baviaan. Now what you're, describing as I have found that, like yeah activities, that by you freedom, You can link those and weird ways right. So if I find this activity that buys me the freedom I'm looking for not now the activity and I'm unaware of it. Yet has this elevated importance for me to taken it? in them in the morning monocle tell you I'm in there for an hour literally especially at the time, nor trying to get the kids ready for school,
conveniently barrier there but yes, taking a dump. Nose has been elevated to be above sex cuz. Really it's just the time I get to like a look at my phone if guilt, free and where the fuck I want awaits the escapes, especially the more children, the more I am highly theory I placed assets or at home. Airport marks. Don T lie about her. I think my what if in joint like getting, my wife enjoys cooking for many reasons, but I do think one of them is like hey, I'm busy and there's like hard further to say, and I don't wanna talk to anyone but that's a way to say I don't wanna talk to anyone rage. She doesn't know her codependent, you allow her to do I mean like it. About one our man we're way. Let us hope I helped you never gets Elvis.
Will you have a new out one right? Yes, it's called such pretty fork in the road it came up. My first it was gonna cannot be first, ok, but I pushed it as we were approaching need first to dispelling such a tenuous time. Bummer of time the was over and- and I asked a few friends I city when we're in the middle of a pandemic in a crisis personal I don't need to hear of someone's personal crisis, so that was my myself having just put a pause, but none it then I had some friends calling me saying: no, the opposite is true we want to lose our starting. Your crisis, you yeah, so we're gonna, put it out early July, ok for those using the second friend my they might be re because Monica his walk coming times- oh my God night, like realistically probably six times and what a legion she watched contagion six times. Less is also asking cannot stand still
I just have out in the background people are having seizures and my gear and how it, how did I held like it just makes it be over there and not here. I don't know why and helps really I'm just like oh yeah we're all experiencing this yeah there's something that feels like connected about it to us. I don't know why, but it He owes its wording. Let me leave now. How are you get it right, ideally and help you You had a world to or planned. I can well imagine like when you play world too, or, what's that point the plug finally field I'm still in denial, I mean first of all, you can't have it so it's completely outside of my control. No one's gonna show up at the ships and postponement is real. So, if I'm right down there at the moment. I had a really good cried the other day. My manager call me to talk about what you know, we're removing it was bony things and kids, don't you
as I finally just started reading the last of while they plans as life happen, but it's all very surreal right now depends on you catch me. Sometimes I'm elated in my breast feeding or my kinsman. A wrestling and were jumping in rolling around and I'm so happy so blinded and then fifteen minutes later, I'm none that I'm completely terrorize an hour later today. Nothing like nothing's happened so the latter mood parties and then and I feel- Everybody Surely emotionally what if you're too, someone who's abusing you were here feel into what's going on around the planet, and people are lining up for food in front line. Here There is a lot of energy. Give police yourself on how much content you consume
yeah yeah. I didn't. I didn't one day last week right and read any of the bad news and you may make a difference is never ending conversation to my household, which is like my wife, just like you, she's very empathic. She wants to know- and I am always trying to go like you know, get the exact amount you need to mobilise. Would everything you need to mobilise and then at that moment then stop you. Don't you think you need more motivation, but you you seem to be doing everything. Someone in the public could do go. She loves to be helpful in. She asked a lot of things that are helpful to people and she does a tremendous amount of step, but, unlike whatever that, whatever that critical masses, I'm only commanding just hit critical mass and then and then bail out, I love what you said about one party view.
Wishing, it doesn't end, you know- and I don't know I don't have that- could, because your body with your family, you re, I love being with my girls, its greatest even some parties also like how there's a whole new potential value systems can open up here, not only a huge paradigm shift, so it was most important to me. What are my priorities? How can go back to some way of living that I used to do with this whole new context, I think, pretty exciting in terms of self definition, in defining ourselves as a culture of what our values are, what we value area, what we care about you know so that before I feel badly for people's bodies notes its heart. From the body to be in chronic cortisol, indeed, is its basically trauma of your chronically beautifully books said, I think it's called anxiety is the the forgotten stage of greed for part me, the message that I love, but this anxiety thing of this under current- that no matter what
fulfilling angrier foreign denial or checked out or self medicated that there's this under current of terror. You know it's really hard on the body to keep that cortisol. Cooking independence journeys were when The court is always super Jack in the red for long enough. It actually collapses. Sometimes I've done stress tests to figure out. Why has this body We have also every plan going and arm and basically a lot of the results came back with my cortisol love and I did and studying it basically is that you're you're you're the hormone levels collapse. They fatigue yeah. So I similarly had a really comprehensive blood tests in, zero, while I've never seen in adrenal gland production, this low outside of a navy. That is a huge compliment
maybe go gets proud about anything these days, but are still alive, and that I have some resilience, and I am still here- I can still laugh, We now see I I was talking with more marked a few months ago, and it was I mean I and he said Do you ever think you're, not gonna therapy? I said now. I think I'm gonna therapy for the rest of my life. I don't You see an end to this, and here at disagree with me all right. He said At some point, I think you're gonna be good to go in his own way, but what about you insane it a lot. Lately words like ok, I understand what happened. I understand the results of it, I'm approaching having processed all that stuff in it's time. For me to just right, whatever fuckin story, I want to read about myself yeah I do, and as far as my own ego worrying that people are dead,
exhausted with myself export my endless interests and other people's about people forget residents. Only people who live to go inside and have that degree of interior already are gonna, be listing because you're doing it so You got a guy, you can also have self exploration without sharing it. Away. Why would you do that for me and our friends as the choice of adult self explore, because people are sick of it more now than there has been between thing area, we keep explore her dead right, but I guess I am more mean also shouldn't I be bored of it by this point, like some voice in my head. That's my televisions for that's where even back to their careers. It's almost like this force, self absorption and even by the Canadian, is like it's also something
Yes, it is self indulgent and I get so sick of my own image. My own pace and it signals the mirror and notice, noticed me when we were but I haven't gotten a mirror in a lifetime. Liberating too I don't want it. I didn't mean even people say my name sometimes PTSD aims, I would say to my wife: do you think if I started in Ireland like I bought an island and I started a colony in there were no mirrors or reflective surfaces allowed on the island. If it were tracked people? They were like, while islands problematic, as you can see, a reflection of the water but anyways. I was just thinking like what would it be too have no concept of what you look like at a certain point, Emily Priority years, but I have to imagine how is my good on the other side about that? That's my lips. I mean I don't get me wrong. I love grooming earlier, but I I'm not looking at a mere in their certain hotel rooms on tour that
mirror. Centric, like you can turn without seeing your mug even cover some of them. And then there are other who turns where there's no meares, and I can feel it a difference. What prompted me to even think about that, as we don't have one of the attic where we normally record yeah- occasionally like before I guess get there. I want a glance and Zeb over bugger hanging out or locked up, yeah just can't and then stop thinking about it, I noticed with much. Is it put mirrors up on the wall and they do that? I did it as a kid Celia dancing in the o, my kids, a watch themselves cry
I'm so embarrassed for me an them cause. I've done it like enjoying watching your stuff cries out. There's this good you, but my gun absolve. Look at me. I'm going all my God at work where repugnant as a species, author frickin precious haste time that a mere work of all the work things you understand. Eighty percent and unlike down for in twenty percent, run like you do not get that exercise. My doing near work so near work is being done playing with it. So simple, and so dear it just look in the eyeballs of this person. Who's been carrying you around this whole time. All those experience His ptsd or joy or blister marriage shortcomings is that body. This is the bridge that was in Spain. This is the person that was in pain, yeah, yeah yeah. I will align itself on talking to you.
And keep it alive. What are the exact ape early July's? What they? The eighty de came back, three thousand came out. Other reasons I drink was the first one and then smiling came out. Aspiring is also being that bribing music also cover all that's cool and then diagnosis we just put out because that once it is felt apropos in some. Yes, sir, do you ever like you just get a concept of like I want to do in our cause? I just don't think like almost a movie about blank right, minimum basis, thinking Yahoo com. I always movie. Were that happens. Our do albums work that way ever for you are now known now of all the ideas you have you get it as all the time before the morning all the time, and then he execute one percent of them. How do you do it? Because I have so many breakin ideas,
then there are just that and I'm writing them all down in any which one do you think there is any aspect of my identity I had pride in. It was that it was a writer and three years ago, almost three years ago, two and change. I quit writing for the first time in twenty some years, and I fucking love it like. I dont have homeward I just felt like I lived with homework, always wearing a Russian. I had a draft do and I was trying to break a third act and I just it was so consuming in, and I didn't think it's something I could ever let go of my identity, but at any rate I have no plan and executing any but that the gear still varying down I'm thinking of ideas. I just I don't then go. I need to execute this universal law of. If you don't have that homeward feeling I used to have them with my record when I made my husband, he had this unfettered, please exciting relationship with writing songs and you just be like Heaven. Get em over underwritten asylum cycle? He loves it
as I was encumbered by yours like, oh god, and I remember, after generating employment to Canada, to work with someone to start writing the follower software occurred and So I said to him: dear friend, and I said I don't all right. I don't want to ride into the record. I don't want to do any of it. He said. Okay, let's go see a movie. It's a sea, don't remember which, when it was, but when he got back, I wrote his ox Did it because I have to you that moment feeling is so oppressive and not inspiring yeah, my trick as the foot massage parlor like when I couldn't crack something a bit like. I'm gonna go, get a foot massage and invariably like forty minutes into a former Zaire. My oh, I know what I want to do with that. That's why again. What applies to talk to you? I really hope we do it again. Thank you for having me, I why
you and your for family members well, and I hope that I hope it's the exact amount of time you want. Thank. You didn't seem to you and say hi to anybody, and I love you guys in God's, be in you doing such really generous work, the Sami people thinking or thank him. Stay tuned for more diffused air. We are supported by better help now gang, it's a little rough out there right now. So if you're struggling with stress angle,
eighty isolation or depression right now. You are not alone in if you're, feeling isolated and worried about the state of things better help offers on line licence professional councillors who can help. I could not recommend this more. What would it hurt to try and only how it could only help now, better help councillors specialise in issues such as depression, stress, anxiety, relationship, sleeping trauma, anger, family conflict, algae, BT matters, grief, self esteem and more I've got nine of the ten of those things just say. I absolutely love the service it so helpful, particularly now where people are stuck inside. It's a great way to talk with counselor and get workin on some of the things that are alien. You all you do is simply fill out a questionnaire to help assess your needs and get match with the council in less than twenty four hours. It's so easy to schedule. The secure videophone sessions with the therapist plus you can exchange unlimited messages. Better help is a truly affordable option. An arm chair is get ten percent off their first month. With
discount kodaks. So why not get started today, go to better help, dot com, Slash Dax, that is better help. Ici LP, dotcom slashed acts talk to a therapist online and get help. We are supported by re caught. Everyone needs a great pair of wireless ear, buds boy us now more than ever, with all this zooming wording on my etc. But before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless ear buds from re caught. Now we have them their fantastic in there's so much cheaper than the competition in the quality is sanely good, very comfortable in the ear very nice fit yeah. You already know rake on Airbus start at about half the price of other premium wireless ear buds on the market and that they sound just as amazing as the other top audio branding
their newest model, the everyday e twenty five year buds are the best ones yet was six hours of playtime, seamless, Bluetooth, pairing more base and a more compact design that gives you a nice noise isolating fit reckons wireless ear buds are so comfortable, their perfect for conference calls or binging podcast. That's what we recommend you do over here. I'm sure expert. Now, unlike some of the other wireless options, re Con, Airbus, herbal, stylish and discreet with no dangling wires were, stems to distract any wondering video calls now's the time to get the Edison greatest from re, can't get fifteen percent off your order by re con dotcom, Slash Dax! That's be you why? for a y- see o n dotcom slashed acts for fifty percent of re, con wireless ear buds by re con dot com slashed act. And now my favorite part of the show the fact check with my soul maiden mama got bad men
real life. You and I were just about to have a conversation, and then I thought, oh, let's do it. Ed, which was we interviewed. Somebody that are becoming up in the person was objectively three times monitor the monarch, and I can buy this gentleman had the most compromise some knowledge of our history. Economic amassed by trade. These further left then Monica and much more love than I am, and we both had this moment. We are discovering that we are both like how could he be that smart and not be right, yeah yeah right yet, while also because especially,
from me. Some of the things he was saying like I deal Levi want a ha and specific. There came up that he was talking about his Ghana. Navy is middle way. It's a mix between capitalism and socialism. Maybe knowing it for decades- and you know they win. Every single happiest person alive yeah we'll get into a much deeper on his back on her up soon. We both were for the little bit avoided. Hang over right where we're gonna like man. We need to think more about this yeah I mean I'm not Bernie support human rights and I think a lot of what he says is extreme. I dont see how we could possibly pay for all of these things all at once, but, like you said when we were talking to the economist, who is a burning adviser, could literally advice
Bernie on his economic plan. Yeah, I thought oh will there must be a way has never being said in the debate which is infuriate. It is is like they keep asking of unease, never say yes by it, we talked it Jeff. Who is the economist? Unlike no there's, there's probably many things we just our privy to that work. Well, after talking doom there's no way he's not responsible enough to have done the math exactly, but Bernie certainly do not convince me that he had done them now. His hard, ok, alas, so you take my doctor, Alex in you, said: hypertension
while it is in that kind of thing has it was born out of maybe some social troll, yes from sexual trauma, some negative step, but that ultimately becomes what our party you and it's and it's bad out so saying, if their shame, only if their shame I had just have to add like for her the biggest component is that the person ass to acknowledge- like I like this because of that,
right. So without that connection, you care not have shame rural like there's, always gonna, be this underlying layer to it. So the first part is like putting those puzzle pieces together and then like Jeff, you still enjoy and you don't have shame in your and control right right, right, you're, not a victim, exactly cause, you can't really have control over it. If you haven't acknowledged it, you know right if the tales wagon, the dog, exactly you shoot. I my eating disorders and how she told the story about Janine Roth, told a woman to give her daughter pillar case Mammon am saw, but she was saying she thought she was messing up the soil the bit. So I have it. In her great years ago, woman named a wanna attended one of my workshops with her eleven year old daughter Miranda at the time Matt Miranda was what my own mother used to call me. Pudgy round cheeks round knees round hands a body that look like it was made of
because you re a sugar person, Miranda was not fat, but her mother was very worried. She watched over Miranda's meals, commented on what she ate took desserts away. A wanna had been a fat child had struggled with way most of her life and didn't want to see her daughter suffer the same way. All in all. It was your basic mother, daughter, WAR Miranda hid food from a lotta. A wanna was enraged that, despite her hyper vigilance, her child was get gaining wait. My solution, floored them both. I spoke lonely to want to fill up a pillow case with Eminem, give it to Maranta and whenever it gets even a quarter empty fill it back up again can pose you for once or yes, I want you to really imagine how humongous a pillowcases and how many fucking bags of Eminem's you have to put in there to fill it up in a thousand things. Probably
if she buys the fun size wishes to rip open. Each of those did I already. I hundreds of funds under your tabling. The families are now runs eyes, a small yes as a hollow portion here, but even if it was the biggest one, it would be a hundred of them. I now is an expensive and similar, and it is filled a pillar case with eminence given to Marina whenever it gets even a quarter empty fill it back up again stopped commenting on her body and the war now come back to me in a month and tell me how it's going Maria I thought you died and gone to Candy coated Heaven I wanna just wanted to strangle me a month later, Awana was convinced that miracles did happen during the first week. Miranda took the pillow case everywhere. She even slept with this. For the first time she could eat what she wanted without feeling rejected by her mother. During the second week she stopped taking the pill case to school. She, if you were a man, abs and week, three. She hardly touched them by week, for she never wanted to see another Eminem again.
Ok. I suppose one more time tat. Imagine being the teacher of more oh, my god. What's her name Miranda Upwards of one ran his teacher and you have no idea what's happening at home. You got no one hears student shows up with a pillow case, if all of which is a way out of this story is amazing, because I also, I think I might do this as a follow up that check. I think I might feel one up because it's gotta be forty five panel ass does another like there's a weight issue like thing I staked pillow cases for Halloween did you he had. Even when I got a ton of candy, it was like third for our goal and my brother, nice sprinted from the second, the lights went on. We sprinted through our neighbourhood and we ran as fast as we could for three hours and we could
about two thirds of a pillow case last without alongside it ever we had a map of how we would run through the streets. We never overlapped. Why I mean it was, it was complex, would have also part of her plan. The therapists was like listen. This bag is fifty pounds. She's she's gonna burn, so many problems around this thing around that it's gonna be a net loss money by weak, where she never wanted to see another Eminem again, but more important than Eminem says that the war had stopped Miranda no longer needed to eat to pay her mother back for concept disapproval. She no longer needed the comfort of Eminem to make up for the heard of mothers rejection. Oh, why ass deep so much of their birth and greatest them identifying cyclical patterns here and there
in Iraq that pattern winter what'll interrupted, it might be worth a year as a foreign experiment to do. Should I do this with you and cookies. I already had as many countries as I hadn't love cookies singing the other day. What's my favorite, cookie and world. Oh, I see a laboratory, Rio Classic Very class, but I think my favorite cookie is this chocolate chip cookies from Levine Bakery in New York. Its massive is a damp is immoral. Its yeah, but the outsize hard magic muffin shape crispy on the outside,
is in the reign of Erin Chicken Wing, or one thing it is want to say is: I think if parents are crazy, honest with themselves, or at least I've had this experience where you, I think you know the story, but I took Lincoln on oppressed her with me. Just heard I to Miami and she was getting too much attention from adults, because anyone who would be around me would want to give her a bunch of the added her and she was talking a baby talk in. So she would respond all these people in baby talk, and I was like at first this. What does tell me myself like linking get us communicate with adults in normal language and Bob? I am almost telling myself with this one and the same like I've been down this road and I'm trying to save her from it yeah. But I did this a few times and then I just at this moment of clarity Whereas I am not doing anything to help her I'm embarrassed year. High child speaks baby talk yeah. This is my embarrassment. She feels fine speaking baby talk in those people may think it's annoying and she's dumb. But that's on her.
Its economy there, but it was all my own ego of, like I dont people, think IVO three or the talks baby talk right, a re run. Then I just shut up about it and other than this works for you, you feel more comfortable. Then she doesn't speak in baby talk now she doesn't, but I think I like myself as apparent scene. I want to protect him from this discomfort, but its way more about your own ego, everything's a failure, as you is apparent soon, as you have a kid you're, your greatest fears that you're gonna fuck it all up. You're, almost like protecting your image abroad for ok, she said: there's a book. She thinks scud anxiety is the forgotten stage of grief, its cod anxiety, the missing stage of grief, a revolutionary approach to understanding and healing the impact of loss, its by Clare, Bidwell, Psmith.
Bidwell smoothed yeah, ok, well, and really so I thought it was so interesting when she was talking about Canadians. Don't talk about themselves, all right, right, right and, as we saw, was Keith Morrison, then I will looked up some things that are like so american that they dont have in other countries all car a hand. Here's some ogre non Americans, don't understand fake cheese. So, like squeezed cheese, that seems obvious. I don't see why other people would understand. That's a very odd thing to have squeeze each easy as we understand squeeze yea, ok, so that we know that are inherently America. Ok, ok, that other people are like. Because to her, everyone was like talking about them, thousand. She was like what like she couldn't perhaps a around yourself self promotion in indulgence. Yeah this show yeah twenty percent tip in the United States, not customary other places
Is tourism visiting the? U S notice large gaps in the bathroom stalled between the door in the frame boost yeah its enormous, and I often put a piece of toilet paper by hang it between that gap. You do yeah if I'm gonna masturbate in their oh wow here at a restaurant. Where do you have? macerated, Russia, I'm pretty sure from the ages. You know twelve, that thirty five I pray macerated everywhere. My favorite was tracking error. Weeklies Croatia has, he would be all over the city with land. There is really junkie: restaurant caboodle. What at the end of our industrial, complex street, where we work in the car industry, mused pop into caboodle, to go to bed have a pool our over eight computers, but it really move. They need to know where to go, and these pop into caboodle cells are not blame energy,
Why I'll talk and carry on again a true, ok, yellow school buses aren't found outside the EU? S o has is interesting. That's a shocker! I dunno there on the. U S is home to extremely long highways, the likes of which are not easily found elsewhere. Five out of ten of the worlds, and longest highways are located in the. U S: ok, garbage disposals are common in the? U S, but not in other places. So don't worry. American yesterday you drive, ok, grape flavoured skittles can't be found everywhere occur in Europe. The purple skills are black current flavoured yacht. I think I language
thus payments as what feelings were you having? I was of the going back and forth in this were watching the Lance Armstrong, documentaries phenomenon and died there going through how the traditionally, how that winning teams behave like the different cultural characteristics Hannah, and I, like the Spanish, are very humble The Germans were this. The Italians, which was fun is that there are very rowdy outrageous, and then they show the Americans were just like. You know first belligerent, as it gets basically yap and I was like we're so belligerent as like feeling kind of shame about that. But then again it like a swing back and I was like well do you need that to invent the,
grow processor. Do you need that to so? It's it's all interesting! Isn't it it's like! There's there's upsides and downside. There's a gross side of it all sprayed she's probably is crowning achievement, but you know I used to love it's interesting. Everything's like out at some here present com pros and cons, Fisher, but price you put on innovation. I guess that's! That's places have innovation, yet no one really compares pound for power innovation with America. Part of it, is our like individualist re everywhere we want to be a super star, Basileus AIR and the drive to do it is so and credible there, like even Jordan, if Jordan wasn't ever gonna, get any recognition for all that, Michael Jordan, that they may I country not sure what they do star celebrating their victories, but yeah, Michael Jordan? You wonder if he was gonna, get no recognition for all the insanely hard work and focus in like twenty hours a day dedicated a basketball without
commission, but he does. He do again on our. It was truly shared, unlike some of the asian countries, that way more about the group, knowing that the on the other side of all that was gonna, be the mantle of greatest player of all time. Right, I think that's when you don't want to go the Germany dont in your knees, hurt you don't wanna play that. Fourth core. All those things I think part of. Why does it is that it is so american though it so true, like even on team sports like I was thinking. What is the most tee and the like synchronize swimming so was. I think you need to be identical in your stay ramrod about, but they probably still point out people who are ill little bit better than the other or like have been doing it for way longer than a mare,
again. Do that. I cannot think those part of its that bloom empathy thing now. Take it easy or die, then a fight with the notion of one per. So you think you could be Michael Jordan or again yet how many kids fantasy was to be Michael, Jordan versus how many kids fantasy was to be on the bulls. That's probably one billionth, as many people I'm gonna play for the bulls for my group is going to be married. Jordan was true. Well, that's all right! Thank you. Thank you for your due diligence, always noise,
Transcript generated on 2020-06-14.