Alexi Pappas is a Greek-American Olympic runner, filmmaker, actor, and writer. Her debut memoir-in-essays, Bravey was published in January 2021. Alexi joins the Armchair Expert to discuss her experience competing at the Rio Olympics, getting into running later in life, and the impact her father had in her life after her mom passed away. Alexi and Dax discuss post-Olympic situational depression, treating mental health the same as physical health, and striving to achieve as many goals in life as possible. Alexi talks about being into improv comedy at Dartmouth, why she wanted to produce books and film, and her future in the arts and performing space.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to armchair expert experts on expert. I'm Dac Shepherd and I'm joined an abstention and with great love, Monica Patman Hey we have as anyone who knows Monica I will know the perfect guest in olympian Alexey. Papas is Greek American Olympic Athlete, a writer actress and filmmaker Alexi competed in the Rio Olympics, setting a national record in the ten k with a time of thirty one, thirty six, she has a new book out called bravery, chasing dreams, befriending pain and other base. Ideas. Very fascinating look at what the post olympic expense just like so please enjoy Alexey Papas he's
man we're tardy rose. So sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, ok, we just talk. All your secrets. I know them all. I want to know if you know some of my seegars that I don't know probably now. I know your preference in jellies and you know that I dont bathe frequently tell you that all those things and you know go to your sense of compassion. The delay was, I had forgot to shoot up all my antibiotics into my sexy port, and so that takes a while- and I apologise it slipped my mind ballot be like. If I've got to eat my dog, I would have to do it. There are things that you have to do and it takes time actually because my dog is a pug and we feeder freeze, dried raw food and you have to like soak it for awhile and
time. She cries while it's soaking, as if she's not going to get fed, can I make a suggestion, a hack per se? Please? What's your name Bernini, so I would log off Bernini food at night not to put, in the dish- and then I put it in the fridge at night and then when you wake up or had that's actually really smart. So it's like the overnight oats of dog food right smoking bull, and you know that Smart is because if we left it out, she would know and she would think it's time to eat into smell it. I think. Yeah is she around. Can I see her? I can get her on yet our. But if she was, I get your feed. I would want you to lift her up and show me. You said we whose we you ve, already shown your cards. Ok, I live in a cabin and woodland Hell's and I loved my husband and creative partner Jeremy with Bernini, are loyal. Pug daughter and you'll meet her
daughter there's a way to make that Monica one word right cause, there's a g, h and daughter, and then you gotta, Jean Paul dog doctor that's your dog yeah this doctor, how long have you lived in LA we moved here after south by two thousand and nineteen when, before that I was living in mammoth lakes, where most people go there to ski okay, just you get this for two seconds because she's not going to be Rob Snap pick yeah get a nice photo, although you know you've, got gonna light, her she's, so black sea that you need like a spotlight on her to see the features we'll try to sign a waiter her really good. This is really becoming God she's, so cute she's, a she's, full grown? She was a runt and she never grew bigger than about
ten to twelve pounds she's her. I got it hi, okay, we'll put her away but she's thrilled to meet you she's lean. She doesn't have those back ripples, I'm used to on pugs yeah she's, like a football player at the dog park where she see like well play with the big dog she runs, even though I am a runner that has been a job of mine. I never forest my child into this. I found it on her own yeah. I sound like a crazy person whose Hake my daughter, my daughter, so did mammoth for about three years after the other thanks and prior to that I was in Eugene or again, which is like the mecca of distance running Oh, it is because, because a Nike in the University of Oregon, the Upso Eugene, is nicknamed track town. You say that, like an actual nickname
I want to give a shot out to a hotel there. The inn at the fifth did you ever go there. I know the editor fit. That's the nicer. Eugene. I think we made a movie their track town and we put Rachel drag up and at the fifth- and that was our like. Our great gesture of you know a Yo Yo generous gesture. When did you go there? My mother lives in Oregon, so we often drive up there on a couple times a year, and sometimes in the winter, in particular. If we're going up for Christmas, because the inn at the fifth is decorated, really pretty and there's that really neat french restaurant right at the bottom, that's delish though we instead of driving straight to my mom's, will stop there for the night and then we'll have a french meal and well maybe go by some toys, and then we get back on the road and end up in used to be heard river. The next morning, that's awesome. Did you What are you university of Organ, so I did a fifth year there, which is like your final year.
I did undergrad in New Hampshire at Dartmouth very elite Unifil. We like that diamonds was like a big summer camp, and then I had this one like two seasons of eligibility left, and even though I was like the worst on my running team at Dartmouth, when I got there and was variant Dr Comedy, I became very good at running during my time there and I had this two seasons eligibility and it was like a very difficult decision, because I thought I was going to go, pursue the arts pursue like poetry and more improv leads but leads, but I had this window to run and went or again, because that was the best school to Tirana and it opened up the window to go to the Olympics is interesting. So then it's not that, or at least some now, assuming you aren't on an olympic track per se. When you went to college no, and I think it is important to say, because
as even though I think every kid kind of dreams of the Olympics to some extent like I did oh Monica, is a big. She really had fantasy a grander at the Olympics. They were of grander because I was never ever ever gonna make it there, but God it's so alluring the Olympics. Well, so Monica if you did go to the Olympics. What would it be? Gymnastics was the dream, but yeah I mean look in retrospect. I think I'd dodged, a bullet knots. That I would ever have been able to do it, but she won't break for herself, but we took the twenty three and me she has the elite. Muscle genes probably could have done it. No, I couldn't, but especially with gymnastics part of the reason I couldn't do. It is because I started way to latest eight. Can you have to start at like four to be in that category and got your whole? If is that, but you do that so interesting, yes, because in gymnastic
at eight, your middle aged yeah in running and particularly female distance running you dont peak until you're, like some people, say that thirty four, but it certainly like later in your twenties and For me, I think sports were always in my life. My dad raises as a single died after my mom pass away, and I think This is like the only way he knew how to teach us to judge my brother and me to fall down and definitely get back up, so we were in tons of sports. He brought us to watch the alarm Ninety six in in Atlanta and I watched a guy run the marathon that later became one of my olympic coaches. So it was like. I didn't know that. Obviously the time but so it was in the back of my head, but I was very into performing in another way, which was like the improper
theatre? The writing and that's what I did a Dartmouth when I was like the worst on the team, but still on the team so really quick, you ran in high school, I presume so. I ran freshmen software, your high school, and I was very good at it, but I did not like it because running because its miserable, because its painful the addresses it hurts for me just like it it's for you, I gotta say it it just it does, but the thing that makes it fun is when you have people to run with, because the very social support and my high school team was just like the coaches were not super, my coach was like actually an alcoholic and not a lot of things going on and he wanted us to just run
and not to any of the other activities, and the other activities were like whatever you do. Student government, like dating other sports yeah dances, like all the things, and I wasn't ready to quit every other activity and just run as a fifteen year old, and so I had this ultimatum to either quit everything in just run, which I was good eye, but didn't love or not run so I got like the fact o kicked off my team in high school twice until I didn't run at all junior and senior year of high school and I played soccer and did all the things I wanted to do and felt like. I was enjoying, but felt upset because I wanted to be able to like fine joined running. I just wasn't ready to be like pushed into it, but the positive, Outcome of that was that I went through like puberty and are really normal way in
You know I just periods in a normal scheduled laughin now got some of those efforts, they won't have a period for years. Some people don't have until likely in there or really really delayed because they're training so hard at like age. Sixteen, seventeen eighteen and so I wasn't training hard. It didn't feel like really a choice that I made. I wish that like development was more built into the high school environment bright eyes, the bare yeah really good, before we move on I'm curious. Is there a physiological answer for the late onset of the peak perform it's for female runners. Is there like some kind of chemical explanation? Physiological explanation. I think it's just that, like the Email athlete is much more capable than like the kid athlete same, probably with the
athlete and the little boy athlete and let's just say we become our fall female athletes. Also unwarlike twenty years old or something, and then you can really begin training at a level that would add up eventually to your Pique I just came up with this idea. I want to see if new dig it at all. If ever there was a sport that was so reliant on the frontal lobe it would. Have to be long distance running because the entire thing is projecting into the future. Pushing yourself. Currently, for a reward that is so delayed, and we do know that human brains don't develop that front Foley until they're out of high school okay. We so explain this mark me. So that means that once you develop the frontal lobe, you can like participate more in goals that have done
Ed verification. Yes, on most of your brain is occupied with serving its immediate desires and needs. You have a tunnel chemicals in their right, your pleasure reward system telling you to go, eat this and then the frontal. The part of your brain. That is the last to develop in our last stage of evolution and it's why kids make terrible decisions they make like I'm going to go drive this car drunk because it's going to be awesome right now and they're, just not great at projecting into the future. So I feel like your sport in particular, must rely, most heavily on the frontal lobe. I never knew that. I never knew why my first big was so, is, I think, that's true. I think that's true, and it is like a sport. That's as mental as it is physical. When you get into like the long long distance running, I mean those are races of attrition right, it's not about the heroic sprint at the end as much,
This is about hanging in there and being there at the end. I want to earmark something about this for later in your story. When we talk about starting to do depression and then what I would imagine your training is almost your worst enemy in that, like you, conditioned yourself to ignore the signs of discomfort and you have put how much time into yeah this fucking sucks but I'll get through it and I'll be something on the other side of it that that could end up being a terrible mechanism for addressing ones mental state at any. Given time yes like, particularly if the world sees you as some kind of EC superhero. Then you're not been allowed to it. This is not true You feel that you're not allowed to experience. Vulnerabilities and in negative emotions yeah.
They always want to see you as a superhero, and this is probably something I created, but I've experienced expenses and physical and mental pain where I'll be in some kind of physical pain, but still be to run like twenty miles or hundred miles in a week and be told that there's no m injured. If I could do that work out- and I guess that's on me to understand- That, even though I had a high pain tolerance, it doesn't mean it's a good pain and there's a good Panem bad pain. I've just relating to you. As you see, I have this part of my arm and I've had three surgeries this year and I have a really high pain threshold in the people. That love me go like just because you're, not so frame from these injuries does not mean you should keep accumulating them.
That's a really delicate line, and that's where we rely on people to tell us certain boundaries like objectively and that's why it helps to have like a mental health. Doctor say like you are sick or your brain is injured. Just like it helps to have a coach or doktor. Tell you, like. Your arm, will heal for two more months, so just chill, even if you feel good yeah, it's so interesting. Isn't it about mental health? Is it has this underbelly of shame? Whereas if you broke your tibia running you go yeah, I don't feel by that or shameful about that it fucking broke. I push it too hard. The other thing. You really need a doctor to say you don't need to feel shame. You are sick in you need treatment. And I'm giving you permissions not feel like it's a weakness, yeah and I think something that you and I would probably agree on is like we like, like having goals and our future those things that we look forward to and if we know that goal.
Is fitness. Are we know the goal? Is whenever go you're chasing? We can like zone in and chase that call. But if someone were to tell us actually, your goal should be health because you're not healthy, we would probably be able to shift focus and make that our goal. Just if you dont know two recalibrate and if your goal, then we won't yeah. My vote was make a lot of money and have people recognize me and that ultimately didn't feel great. But that feels like the preventive when I was chasing me own versions of outward accomplishment re for me. It came from and I don't know if you both can relate, but I think I was driven by like an unhealthy drive to not be like when I thought my mother was, she took her If so, I had a lot of association. With that where I just liked it, I want to be anything, but that do you have I've read your mother committed suicide when you're five years old.
Yeah and what I like about you, I saw you in an interview only near resentment towards her. Tell us about that. I, like that you admitted that what's so powerful for me, it came from a place of the narrative. I was kind of fat about her about her mental health. Injury was that she was just so sick that she had to leave and the things that I saw in the first few years of life like I'd for memories and three of them, were just terrifying and awful made me feel like if I ever felt the things that she felt, then my fate might be a foregone conclusion because of the near. That I was fed and also what I saw. How was her mental health explained to you so when she was sick like in the first few years, my life she wasn't around because she was in and out of these just like drug rehab or mental health rehab she just kept having episodes, including, I don't know
our specific to be here, whatever you're good on totally one. Also, this comes or a place of, like sullenly audits. I, like fifteen year old girl, suddenly like a very aware that there's, like a version of this, that I can say Unfortunately, we are not here, damn all we're trying to get there, but I think we're never more college graduate them exactly so I didn't choose Merrick Depressive says you know these MEG episodes when she was home and just experiencing someone who's like thinks like the toaster is talking to our and screaming, like I remember it was like seeing or is this like a Barbie doll where, like you brush his hair too much as I kind of crazy woman figure who could not handle her shit, and it made me really sad, So I didn't really resent her at that time, because I was sad for her and it's hard to feel resentment towards someone you feel bad for, but it's also hard to look up them.
Well, let me just add of using the ace test you can take childhood trauma tests in. If you you know more than three of the ten year your likely to have some pretty predictable outcomes, and why the main ones. If do you have a parent with mental health issues so like what you experience is very, very traumatic, yeah and one time I saved her life because I walked in on her. She was like trying to saw her arm off and I walked in on that when I was like four and I didn't really understand what was going on. But she didn't want my help at that time. But I did it anyway, because we have an instinct world A lot is bad and like we're gonna do something about it there, but what you know was confusing was that she didn't seem to be in pain like shit. Is very stoic and like it was almost like.
The concert violinists like trying to do something to herself, and so I was very confused about what that pain meant, but still got help, because blood meant bad. I cannot imagine seem that in that sets out of our horror movie here it was bad. I needed to make sense of it, because my dad, I love him. I love him. Is amazing, use single parent engineer types like not very, let's talk about it, so he put us in sport. We didn't talk about it and I think he thought that those memories would fade like a bruise fades like it'll go away, but I needed to make sense of it, and I think I did to things like one wanted to be as opposite of her
they possibly could so that meant happy successful, accomplishing all those things in control of yourself yeah. Exactly and too. I think it meant that I needed to use my imagination because, with the saw the only other time you see, someone using a saw in that way is like in loony tens, and I tried to at least create for myself a circumstance where, if the most unimaginably bad things, were possible like seeing something like that which I'd only ever seen in cartoons, then maybe anything was also possible. So I think I became a little bit entitled or like I was like special, unlike this is an awful thing, but also the best version of this is also possible that take so much strength to be able to turn that into a positive thing and tat
but I dont think is here. We had a thirty minute debate about entitlement the other day, so you're gonna, just walking into a previous but its. Let me not till I really hit the nail on the head beds brave your aim to do that, to turn something so profoundly negative the arm relating to it in a different way- and I bet it's not the same, but I took those of instead I knew were not normal or deserving. And what I really do, as I said, because- this. I deserve something amazing. Yes, I've had to endure this. I almost have an excuse now, so you did something very productive. A mine was generally like chaos, addiction, but I felt very intense.
Don't do that because I had experienced the other thing I felt like. I was o d that yeah. I think it was the same mindset just we made certain different decisions and I didn't always make the productive decisions they are. Sometimes I would like sneak out and good boys under it. You know, I did things like that and I was like what this isn't as bad as killing myself. So, like isn't an immortal, in really really frank care, but I honestly had like a very weird thing to compare myself too, and I did like often compare myself to it, and I think that thing that we find is that we want to change that feeling of like satisfaction and we ve done it with avoided the thing we wanted to avoid, and you want to feel that final conclusion that you ve definitely done it, and I chased that do a lot of outward accomplishment, and the thing is that I did get a lot of those outward accomplice.
Comments to be driven by trauma- is really potent. It's just also really unsustainable yeah in do you think you also got really skilled at fantasy yeah like visual where you were going or how did it apply for you yes I didn't want to be often where I was out, so I had this just very active. I was constantly planning where I would end up, because I didn't like this and so with no plan. I would just sit in practice my interview with David Letterman, but I wasn't gonna pursue acting or anything. I don't know why I was going to get there, but maybe that's the universal. I don't know but Do you know that I was super preoccupied with this life? I would at some point be occupying where I is really special, whether I was a novelist or I was a musician or something It was really active with fantasies, yes, so that seems like a good thing. I did that too, and I think I also tried to fill their sake
gas of the mother role with other women like obsessed with women. Unlike for some reason I seem to have fixated on women and comedy, and I dont know why, but I thought about it. I have never said this out loud, so maybe it's gonna make me son, kind of silly, but I think I would read Amy Ploys book. I would listen to it on audio book on RP and I just feel like she was: to me, and it was because I wanted to be- I don't know like accepted by that person and I think it's because women in comedy what reminded me of the closest thing to maybe what the best version of my mom could have been of someone who had, I don't mean, like a bipolar manic person. I just mean what I was perceived: In committee was like highs and lows and honesty could have been the best version of her, and I've never said this out loud side on over makes any sense. Ya know it then I guess I was excited our planet Monica. She too had her
her own thing in her own fantasies, derived by speak for you but veal of otherness, a similar fascination with Amy Paul You I mean comedy it's so cliche, but it's the truth that you seek it out when you feel on the outside emulate. That's just seems to be a through line of all the comedians. We know and talk to and stuff like at some point they fell don't you think we ve, like observers, act at exactly were observing everyone else, because we're not on the inside of that circle in our observation gives us a great ability to be critical and a funny way of that. Since we're not rather hard or not, we think we're not in the water, and we can pointed out, until you are, then its views right like until you are means when you are like a part of the game you're, not just the sidelines, then what do you do do except yourself or do watcher watch yourself playing the game? All your
the for me personally has been both big time. Ok, so I'm glad to hear this. This fantasy thing, because I want to go through getting to the Olympics, because the ride up, still so driven by how you will ultimately feel when you arrive, I'm guessing so the ride up from or again to Rio is how many years it's about three and a half years, and it's not that I wasn't training my very hardest until that point, like I'm always somebody who tries my best, it's just that me trying my best didn't kneeled, like world class level results until this points it wasn't like. I made a major shift yeah. I always took my dreams pretty seriously that I wanted to improve and when arose doing it's just suddenly. I was in a position or other people believed in me too, and I could formerly commit to that goal. So I dont want to make. It seem like this suddenly.
Don. It was just suddenly the gold came into view and it was just a much bigger goal. Did you have any panic like once? It became more Andre oaks? I can't imagine that you, when you're at Dartmouth, you it's not like that, was a realistic goal that you be at the Olympics, but as it starts getting more realistic, are you at all it's starting to get consumed with panic cuz? I be easy for me to not panic about some, I didn't think was possible, but soon as it became possible there be another layer of stress her anxiety, yeah. It fell almost because the timeline was more compressed, like I needed to
EL every run on the ladder I was climbing and if I just grabbed- and I got every one- I could pull it off and the truth is that I did at that time, and it was because I do think that I thought that that accomplishment, which is objective really one of the greatest thinks you can accomplish, would make me feel that certain way- and I would never have shared that- but you know inside when you chasing this external thing to solve an internal problem. I guess maybe realize it later. Do you think when you were searching for, though, wasn't so much allegation, but just security that, in you acquainted success with positive mental health like any, in your brain, being successful meant being happy which met you immune to the disease of your mother yeah. I think it was there and I think it was also at that time.
Understand her and so is also a little bit of like. I can do this without you, the relationship with her husband, so evolving, even though she's been dead from one of lake at when she died. I thought she died of smoking because no one told me how she died and she smoked- and this was the nine days until everyone was like smoking's, bad and I'll fix. You must have died of smoking because I didn't understand and then in seventh grade I have a best friend to Dax and her. Amanda and I always call her my best friend Amanda and my best friend Amanda, told me how she really died in seventh grade, because there's a day where you had to write out these tombstones for people you knew to.
Of smoking on cardboard. Oh, my goodness, oh my goodness and everybody wrote well Disney because there was this rumor, nobody knew anyone who have died of smoking. Someone was like he died of lung cancer, so I must have been smoking and I wrote my mom's name and they printed that particular photograph in the yearbook. So I know I did this and didn't make it up. Yeah she's in the yearbook, but my best friend told me that they should like everybody knows this thing and you don't know how she did it out of love. Of course, and I got a new did you buying that you were embarrassed. I was a little embarrassed, but I was mostly just mad at my mom because I didn't know why anyone would do that, and I also never told my dad that I knew because a voice been really protective of him, and I thought, if you didn't tell me there is a reason why he didn't tell me and we're ok
so. Then I stopped visiting my mom's grave, which is like my only way to be like teen inkstand. Not talking do anymore. Oh, my I did so fascinating near that you continue to have a relationship as if she's alive in so many ways yeah. Ah, thank me stop visiting her. That's as bad as stop talking to your mom. Stating diffused air we are supported by zip recruit at our zebra crude now raise The data shows that, out of all the female own businesses, it is estimated that one in three is owned by a mom ever wonder how these amazing, moms and dad's find time to higher for their businesses while juggling their families with zip recruited in right. Now, you can try it for free. Only zip, recruiter dotcom Slash Dax seo.
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works for a while right, that's be we say a like: they work until they stop working. So I would imagine this is the period where that all works, shovelling accomplishments in the whole is working yeah I mean I like directed and start and CO wrote a movie at the same time that I was training the alleged pics, and so I was firing on all cylinders and was running a hundred twenty miles a week and going through the Sundance LAB at this move like I was like on and engaged and in, and the truth is that my pistol in big depression was called the situational depression and that's like where you're, okay, you're, okay and then you really really crash. So I wasn't in any kind of depression. I just think I was headed towards a very big one because of the way I was managing myself the limits of body physically seem to be well acknowledged and known, but no one ever tells you cause. I've had those moments to wear my juggling fifty five things and it feels awesome. I fucking love it like.
Dial did all sixteen hours, I'm awake, I love it, but I don't really can like like. Well, I couldn't run thirty miles a day. My body what now, while that in maybe it's worth While you wait you, how do you mentally can handle that much stimuli? Well, how do you feel about at those times when you're like really? in and firing firing on. All cylinders now feels good. It feels good. I feel good tat. I love it. I just feel like I have two police when its tipping yeah into filling up all the buckets is place in my head and in my life to fill up accomplishment buckets. I don't want to get rid of those. But it's like when I start leaning on those. I did it when I relapses like me, I've seen, but
everything my legs going good like you're all the things I would evaluate my life and they are all doing well. So this isn't the problem I feared it was. I think that's what I have to watch myself for yeah we're like bubbling packs of water and, like we drive when they're like Jarley bubbling, but not completely performer yeah exactly the incessant obsession with accomplishments and work and like what you said, you were training for the Olympics and making a movie. Is a mania, it is manic like I I have experienced it to where I get in these modes and, unlike oh I've, gone into a little bit of a man exile in it. Is in a lot of ways you Ford yeah. It gives you a pleasure, that's in retrospect, not great, because it's a high beds.
Untenable exactly that will lead to a crash at some point. It just is the bounds of life yet, and I think that if we dream. Chasers likely to say the Olympics is one type, a dream, but if any dream tat, Sir Gall chaser was aware that there was like a chapter after the dream is either complex store, realise that year meant to feel are meant to recover. Then this whole thing could be very avoidable, and the truth is that nobody for the Olympics, for example, nobody talks about the moment after with you, because then you may not get there first place, and so I dont even know that the mania the lead up is such an unhealthy unusual or even avoidable being so so much as I wish that I had somehow been prepared to embrace, the moment after and I know we haven't even talked about the moment itself, but that is just what I say is that, like
There is no preparation for that war. I guess that's. Another thing I wanted to say at some point in this, which is, I think it could sound. Often like I'm saying, don't bother trying to become an actor because Bob Lot, that's not what I'm saying or don't become an olympian. No one should try to do anything. No I'm saying definitely did you all that, but be realistic about what it's going accomplish it's not going to give you an emotional state, you desire. That's really. The only thing I'm saying is just like, like do that, the biggest director in the world, but also no, you will look in the mirror and feel the exact same way you did before you were the biggest director and oil, yes, exacting and- and I do think that the postal Indyk depression can get a bad name and people they talk about the Olympics being the problem, but it's really just like. I should have been prepared as like a twelve year old, too slowly, beginning to manage what that would have been like. So he I agree with you: the goals are not the problem. The dreams are not. The problem
are not the thing that should be getting the bad name. It's just the approach. It's almost the love addiction like when you learn about love addiction and how people ride hi I think, are can be a form of love addiction because, fill in what our lives will be like, and we paint this fantasy, which is just a fantasy, and I think, look for love. Another humans going to give them that and for maybe dream chasers, it's the dreams, gonna give the man, and it's really The real erroneous thought it's just that any things going to give you that yeah and we surely learn that, like the best thing to chase is like try in your best, rather than being the best and what now? I have like more satisfaction about you gotta Rio? You can pay for our country, for them mother, homeland you'll have to adjust that I could pay for
These are all my good news of her. That's ok. I rode there grew more: I'm delta citizen, I'm Greek, American, Sammy, European American, an that's by birth and my dad side, and while I am one of the fastest and K runners in the U S, I made the choice to compete for Greece for a number of reasons, but going at the Olympic Games and going to be learned as a Greek is so so fun biggest where it all began your invented it you enter, ceremonies first like when I go over there. Trade in which I have done for these stints, like girls look at me and they ask like why do I look though look in their talk about like guns.
Guns, my muscles and it's been a different experience, but I loved it and I broke the national record there so like the Olympics is that role model you looked up to your whole life, frightened you build them up, a new hope that they're gonna be whatever you hope that they'll be if you ever get to meet them and for some people it's not like my olympic coach. His olympic experience was not everything he wanted. He was like injured, the truth is that the United States team had them stay out of the village, and for me that was one of the reasons why I competed for Greece is like I was staying in a village for a month. We were training with all the other athletes. I had the real it felt like some amazing summer camp, just like I would but the dining hall alone in the dining hall is this like it's the size of a one and a half a ball fields and its open twenty.
Hours a day in and people are in their uniforms because you have to your uniform all the time and it's like being in a western Anderson Movie and it's the best the lodging in the world and is also the most exclusive place in terms of emotion, where athletes are Dick impressed in a way that they're, not when you see them on these interviews before Competition yeah, where you already with your husband. Yes I would like to engage, I know, but olympic dreams, the movie we made with Nick Crawl that we brought to south by we shot at the winter Olympics, was inspired by my experience. Getting Asda by a doctor, but so it happens not bolt. He didn't ask gotta doktor asked you know that,
was. I remember was like, like you'd, be on his balcony with all of his metals blasting like music. Yes, it was great, but you also saw people like Phelps in the dining Hall Hood up, just like not looking the happiest like. Maybe he was focused, but also made What we see on the outside is not how everybody feels on the inside and not when I realized that the Olympics is like a process, it's not just an event, and we see it on tv and we think it's this event and for the athletes, though we're so evolved physically, but mentally were like, delayed at best yeah, you ve been missing out on virtually every other thing. Well, in the Phelps thing now well documented by his own documentary like yet he was not happy right. You don't even
to speculate yeah, he was struggling, but that wasn't super public. Then that idea, if you were in the village- and you saw that scene, you might understand, more now, yeah was he eating like six hundred pancakes as advertised, absolutely he's not a lot o, my god, I would love to witness semi breakfast one time I now I would want to have breakfast with who do we feel so tiny? Could we only have like five pancake if, if you both with pride, really love like just the experience, being in the dining hall, because then you get to see what everybody's rituals are you're like an end to gas like what sport they? What sport are they in I think of myself as an expert in this I feel like I can look at the shaping up. That's sprinter! That's volleyball player! That's a long distance to honour that swimmers. They have the most upside down. I'm triangle bought my guess, yeah, but then
but a sailor like. So there was a steer old sailor. Oh my god! Oh my. I can't believe you just said, this is the biggest thing ding of our life we the college admission scandal Netflix thing one of the guys you get in trouble at Stanford, sailing coach and she could say a lean at Stanford NGO yeah. I think it's in the Olympics, shears can't be in the Olympics, and then we this whole debate yesterday, like what our conclusion was. As I was like, I don't know, it is, but it it was, I would be shocked and Monica would be shocked, and then you just said that I can't believe you just said that so I've met both the youngest olympian and oldest Olympians, and my games and the oldest Olympian was a sailor and I had a meal with him and he was like a kiss on to say tat. I am, but I don't wanna say their own country. So He was saying how wisdom is so important was sailing because the more years you accumulative knowing waves and knowing wind
better. You are, and so it's almost the opposite of a gymnastics in terms of the age I mean, of course, third younger sailors, but he was by all in the Olympic village had earned his spot wow Although the in his fifties forties now, I think he was six sixteen, but I'm afraid you're gonna, like Google and be like he was thirty eight, but he was not thirty. I am not afraid of anything I'm now, starting to consider that I may still end up in Olympian. Oh you definitely can you these so bad sailing. Why so boring you just wouldn't want to do all the tedious now I want to engine a gas. I got all unnecessary, well yeah is sailing, isn't a one man boat, one woman bout, your ass, me all. I know none of the answers to will address. I dont now I'll find out auto come to find out the guy you met really. Does he had sailed the team to the Olympics
He was the italian team sailor and he took everyone to real on a multi mass ship or if he was just like a coach that was just completely lying. There are few coaches, they get it be in the village, not every coach, but a few get to be in there. What decides there? You know. I think that they're, like every country, gets head coaches for certain sports, like my coach was not in the village, but every country also get six passes day for people to visit, and that's where also being from Greece was really helpful because, if you're from the U S, Phelps is gonna, get those passes or otherwise, president of the United States and there's only six a day, and so I got to bring my dad he's a village, and I cannot tell you my dad's, like a giant baseball season, ticket holder he's like the biggest sports fan of all time and he just kind of
and say I've Kermit, the frog and his eyes have never been so big old. That was the best Kermit's, my favorite person to compare people to. I love all people. I've think look like Kermit the frog he like a cross between Kermit and Bill gates. Do you speak Greek? I speak enough Greek to have teammates to be there, so I actually got stuck in Greece for five months at the beginning of the pandemic, really unexpectedly, because of the pandemic, and that's where I learned the most Greek that I've learned, I was living in a college town and was supposed to race and then the Olympics, pushed question. Everything got shut down and stayed there for five months, and so I needed to learn how to like fix my laptop when it broke. Do all that right, okay, so your experienc Syrian sounds like it was really really great. Yes, it was everything
You have any depression about like not getting a gold medal or anything like that. For me No because ran faster than ever run, I broke in national record. I was also in a race that broke the world record and eighty percent of the race broke national records. The fast and that's ever happen in the house. The world. You are what, like thirty one, thirty six or something that's exactly it, that is on, real Monica six point two miles in thirty one minutes every miles: five minute mile wow for fucking, six point two mile
girl. I really can't rap my head around you. You must not be a hypochondriac because I would definitely be like my heart is giving out or do like the feeling of that. But, first of all, if you have a really good coach, you feel like you could go to the edge, and this is the only thing that when we talk about the mental and physical health, I'm not gray at self regulating. But if you have a coach, you can hold you back when they need to and then know that when they let you go, you destrier best. So I had a coach. You peaked me. So athletes are like pencils I mean people are like pencils where you can sharpen yourself and mostly you wanna, be like a doll, strong pencil, but once in a while, you gonna like really sharpen the pencil and that's the Olympics Ray you, wanna be peaked and if they time it right than you're ready to do whatever you're mine wants your body to do, and it will do whatever you.
Boy like somehow, that's all finally into like there's something something erotic about that Europe Peak your and our engagement. Maybe was the world S. Young sounds like p q. Why so many like children are conceived at the Olympics. Lake battened is because people an appeal here right there at their peak emotionally physical. There's highs, there's loaves like there's no more wild extreme place than that. Dopamine is a waterfall at that point. For everyone yeah there are kids conceived at the Olympics. I didn't even think about that. So, of course, yeah because people time their children around these Olympic cycles to like, if you want to do more than one cycles on people alike, have a child right after so This may be ready to return? Yeah? Ok, so you return,
palm wonders. It start one. Does that crash here. So my understanding of the situation of depression is that it's kind of begins, as I got an adrenal fatigue like it's a nervous system challenge at first and for me the moment after is probably the moment when someone should have sat me down and told me that, like regardless of how I feel I need to slow down and not make decisions about, my future colleagues but on meaning take a body rest, but also take a mental rest for like a month or two I that I wish someone had done that, but the truth was that people like celebrated go fun and it was kind of up to me and though I kind of took a physical break, but I also didn't take along in a physical break, but the more and more
thing was at my mind new for the last four years and probably for the previous twenty six years of my life that I had a goal and I never thought passed the Olympics about what they call was as soon as it was where I wanted to know what the next thing was, and I wanted to know yesterday and I wanted to make sure that I was doing So the truth is that it, it didn't start, as the sad feel things or anything like that. It started as almost speeding up a car like being like. Let's keep going on this momentum and it just went so well and and I made a series of changes in my life that I think I should have pause. So my coach in so many words, was no longer. Can we coaching hidden wanna, keep coaching as he was an olympian himself and it's a very challenging lifestyle, so he suggested that I move to the place where people train at altitude a mammoth lake.
Which is where I done camps, but if they want to move their and become a marathon her, so I switched events tried to What's the marathon switch coaches switch to, I lived moved to altitude, which is known to actually have challenging effects on your mental health. A little bit like it can be hard, and then I was in sponsor negotiations which Olympians often go through sponsor negotiations after an olympic cycle, and it sucks it's just really stressful, and so I did all these things at once and I stopped sleeping, and so that was the first real bad symptom. Was that I was sleeping like an hour and I, when I normally cept, nine or ten easily, and I I started training again as running a hundred twenty miles in a week with one hour of sleep, which is obviously stupid. Like I'll admit, this was not smart, but I thought that I needed to put things together for me.
Often this new life. While again this, where we go back twice a way way earlier, is that you have the predictable in your life. Is you push past? That has come and then you receive a reward. Yes, soda yeah. Your muscle memory is like yeah this sucks as it should something great is going to happen exactly I'm a really good coaches athlete or, if I'm on set like I'm good at being a part of these teams. But if it's me, coaching me or me directly I dont think it works as well, and so because no one and I
blaming anyone else is just there was no dialogue around this and also at the same time, the world is asking you what's next, that's all you get asked after a big peak and even when released the book brave ie, but that was a kind of a limpets and I got asked a lot like what's next and I get that I can't blame the media for having that question so ingrained in them. But I wanted to answer What's next, because I knew I would be asked, I'm always asked and on the way the world saw me was someone who just ran a national record. Like did this amazing thing, and so I felt
sanely at odds with the way I felt in the way the world saw me. So I began to like panic a little bit, because I knew that I was feeling more and more out of control and in the world was seeing. Me is this, like example, of control the end, and so I stopped sleeping, but I kept pursuing trying to figure out all this new event new sponsor and I got injured and
The first injury of my life, then I felt even more could blow was the injury. It was a hamstring tear and not most definitely was due to training. That's over use thing, because I wasn't sleeping and running the are you ever repairing yeah? It makes total sense and then it wasn't and tell my dad like heard me on the phone, and he could hear some of the red flags that he and my brother made me get help and they mean we get help by scheduling appointments for me that I didn't want to have, and I had to go back to Eugene or again, because mammoth didn't even have mental health in person whose all telemedicine- and I know during a pandemic- it's a lot of telemedicine. But at that time, and in my condition I needed to be in person with someone, and so I sat down at this doctor. Finally- and he was well first-
this other woman who you're supposed to try to meet more than one mental health doctor. I think I don't know if you had that experience yeah. Yes, that is advised so the first woman I saw. I was really honest with her, like I'm never lying about symptoms, but she sent me down. She was like okay, you are like about to kill yourself and we need to put you on like a ton of drugs, and then you need to find a psychologist because I'm a psychiatrist to deal with you and I left feeling like really helpless, because I don't know I was like okay, I'm going to be sedated and then I have to find any other help, and at that time it was really hard to find- and to have the support, and then it was like this bizarre situation with coaches, whether like ok take carrier saw Billig. No one took it on like what it was I'd like to deal with your period. Basically, like yeah go. Do that thing! I don't really want to hear about it, but you should do it. Yes, like oh
yeah, just come back when you're ready but like never treating it like what it was, which was an injury if it was an injury, which is what my doctor that I did work with eventually told me it would have been a completely different game, just like you said tax earlier, so this guy doktor pay. I he warlike gas station tee shirts. You know the kind of like a big house gone there dislike very kind type and key, very simply told me: you have an injury to your brain and it is like when you're rollerblade Ing and you fall down. You have a scratch on your brain and your brain can get injured just like any other body part and it can heal just like any other body part it just takes time and suddenly I completely shifted, because suddenly the whole
narrative, that I was fed about my mom, which was this nebulous like if you feel these things you might have to die and go and mind you, like her brother, took his own life. Her mom was also kind of had some issues, so it wasn't like She was an anomaly. It was like this stuff runs deep. So when I was told that I was suddenly like, oh like I know how to deal with my body- and I refocus my goal- and he became Coach awe and how long would you say, I don't know what Turkey and assign, but let's say at the Olympics, you were at ten and then on an hour of sleep, you'd probably gone down to one, how long working with him before you Like you were a five or six, I would say- and he prepared me for this slow progress, because he told me that actions change first then thoughts,
on feelings in that order. Only much like when you have a broken leg, you're gonna be in pain every day and it doesn't mean you're, not healing it. Just this is normal pay attention to your actions, whatever that is sleep, bone broth whatever you do your broken bones, and so it me. I think I said seeing him in a brawl March April and I think I started feeling differently in July. Soon took a few a few months pretty, like, I think, relatively quick, but those few months. I approached drastically different than the three months that I didn't help hired to meeting him yeah. I love his paradigm. We say that on here, a lot that you can act your way into thinking differently, but you cannot think your way and acting differently. Yeah, that's it, Emily same Bang Ere. It feels intuitive almost, but it's like. If you take these actions and have some
since you might be surprised with how you feel and how you think. Can you tell us anything happen? You can tell us right now. If you dont want, I tell you anything, but what were some of the red flags that your dad and brother picked up on that you weren't picking up on? Yes, so the sleep, but also just the comments about. I thought I knew my future. So I said my life I have peaked and I had my chance at life because I think I was grip feeling like I was going to get certain chances, but I wasn't going to get two of the same chance whatever that meant it was, Harry and if I messed up any one of those like just like me, I got the runs on the latter that I would fall, and I was lucky, but I wasn't that lucky, and so I told them that my future was like never going to be better than what I had and I didn't get any time. We think we know
a future. It's like a red flag that we're not well, because we don't know, that's a great one yeah. I like that when we think we know our future like only decide it's going to be a certain way? We're not well that's impossible, and also when we want to go back in time, so I was trying to re, create this circumstances that I had prior to the Olympics. I tried till I get back with mild coach, even though we didn't want a coach anymore. I tried to move into the house that I left in Eugene, like I tried to re, create my life before, because I thought that I had master thing up in and that I need to go to basics back to the basics, raw yeah, yeah, and so those are things that they heard that didn't feel healthy good for them. Yeah. It's like the things that go. Who here may no longer serve you and I think that a lot of olympians or high achieving people or people with trauma have a certain point in their life where they realize
Are they don't their german driven by their all life, but we realise that the things that got us here maybe were useful and potan, but they no longer. Serve us totally agree and in fact they will limit ass. He asked the real threat is when you like, oh wow. This is actually like doing the opposite, said, stay too sure there we are supported by story worth if there's for Ben a year to make the moms in your life feel loved and appreciated on mother's day. This is the way That is why I am honoring, my wife and mother of my children with a heartfelt sentimental gift. The whole family can cherish together forever story. Worth is an online service that helps your mom grandmother, mother in law, and every mother figure in your life share stories through thought, provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts,
it's a fund new way to engage with them, especially if you can't be together in person every week story worth emails, your mom, a different story, prompt questions, never thought to ask like what is some of the best advice. Your mother ever gave to you and if you could choose any talents to have what would they be story worth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound special ways and their testimonials will practically movie to tears. Give your mom the most meaningful gift. This mothers date with story worth get started right away with no shipping required by going to story worth dot com, slash, armchair, you'll, get ten dollars off your first purchase that story worth dot com slush arm, chair for ten dollars off story work, comes, lash, armchair Yeah, my case. It was like other thing that got you into. The party is also going to get you kicked out of the party
I'm too much, I'm very provocative and I'm wild and it got me there. I was interesting for a minute, but then I was like, This is also going to eat. Me kicked out yeah so funny. I have like the three examples of things you had because I'm like yes and I used to collect notebooks and backpacks thinking that those were the things that I would need to get to. My own writers room, the and in fact, if I had so many backpacks and no books, I would live in a house of clutter and I wouldn't get to the writers room, because I'm living in a house full of stuff buried yeah yeah and that something that I actually did and my dad was a corridor so that his response to everything. But that was a whole other story.
He caught the newspapers saw why that's pretty that's like when you are going to be hard hard. Yes, when, if you're gonna do a cartoon character of a harder you're, gonna fuckin put so many newspapers in that yeah we'll, but aren't there are also some useful things you get like the one I think really useful tool from this whole thing was feeling unashamedly like I could reach out fur. I call in gravy like my mentor birthday of like ok, I don't, this one keystone, mentor and a mother that some people have and may be for some people, it's very challenging and not positive, but either way I don't have it, but I get to have everybody else, and that was my feeling of special and I was really shameless about seeking out mentorship in a way that was
reaching for it rather than just waiting for it. I think that's a muscle that I'm not sorry that I have and that I have tried to not let wear off. So maybe there are some positive is I gonna grow more that in that is very hard for me, because I have to admit, I don't know everything and that this person has something. They know that idea that I want so it's like it's it's very hard for me to be vulnerable in that way, but like. You said there is some gift I didn't have the dad I wanted, but I found on Tom handsome. This guy, I just worship in I'd, take all my cues from in life, and I got to pick one. You don't get to pick one normally does you can also go about the web saying this thing not taken for me, whether it's your dad, my mom or what or any one else has had happened to them and think in the world is going to keep taking things
me and sure enough, it will because you will see it that way and I think we can see at the opposite way, yeah back to what you're. But there are positive things. All the negative trades have a positive head to its tail, and I thank you have to recognise the strength and try to maximize that wall, knowledge that there's a negative side to it, and I also just thinkin general, it's a good reminder to not get so married tier narrative, man be flax and be able to say like that. Serve me at one point: in no longer does I can let it go or when we did Monica Jes. We had asked her pearl on and she like, she said the best thing that I think about all the time that there is a goblin living on your shoulder and it help to you. It was there to protect you, but you don't need it any more and you can tell it. Thank you so much for helping me and for serving me and you can go,
ah now to somebody else, I'm I'm good, but you have to be sort of aware that, like that's no longer my narrative, because we all like this This is my identity. This is to get stuck and I think it's important to be like no we're evolving. Yes, we're all like. Actually these pokemon, like we level up and then we don't go back. I don't know that game well, but- don't don't they dont devolve re, just told me. You think I know about, and what that sentence you just said is now the most have ever no more, not acts are it's out, but also within the end visualizing yourself levelling up and being like. I am no longer that person than I was. I am now the the evolved one. Maybe what we get to do is have those pauses every now and then were alike now, I'm going up whenever those moments come in relationships to did you
find when you rope gravy did it have this need effect. I've had this experience where I don't actually understand something, and then I write about it and then in I think about it. I start to understand it is bizarre. Argues I'm the author of it, but did you have that experience where you can maybe understood the whole experience even more profoundly after putting it down on paper yeah. So when I wrote the proposal, I mentioned nothing about my own depression at all, because I was going through it when I wrote the proposal, and I was too embarrassed about depression when I was in it, I wrote the proposal when I was like sick and didn't understand things and writing the book proposal so was like one grasping at straws to get a hold of my future. To be honest with you said, you had a bunch of big ideas that were happening in the wake of all that I'm going to do this. Do that and do this a million things I do think writing helps because it's one thing to have an experience and it's another thing to be able to scribe it in a way that translates to people and
Memoir is not a diary like ass, not meant for yourself. You know that there are people that are going to read it and I think that's a different type of writing in its its finding the right words that people will like be able to visualize, and I think one of the biggest things I learned was I think it was two things one the thing you talked about about your identity, not being what you do, because when I first started training for the Olympics and trying to make movies, I really separated those narratives for myself, because I wanted to be taken seriously as a world class runner- and I was like great award winning actor and filmmaker separately, because I knew that I didn't want an excuse like she's, an okay runner who can act her she's, a decent, decent movies, but chicken run
and I was in my own head. But at this point I think the book was all of the things in one and I wanted to be able to communicate in a way that made it a cave for myself tat. I was all the things that I am actually remember, a conversation with Rachel Dratch, who is like a mentor and acting like I'm movies and had a conversation with her. I was like wait a minute if I put this book out that talks a lot about depression. Am I going to preclude myself for my future in like comedy or an acting, because this is such a intense, mental health driven narrative. You didn't want your identity and your public. I didn't need to be depression yeah in it described like my identity in the book is like someone described it as like. I'm a kind knife, and I'm like that sounds a little different than like what I might. I've been doing it my future and she was like. First of all,
Indians are some of the saddest people on earth and, second of all, its all he knew where you're going and advice from people that I admire helps me a lot. So if someone says it and it's my olympic coach or Rachel Draft or its Richard link later, that mean something different. Then, if my dad said it as much as I love my dad yeah, I don't know how you feel about like it, matters who comes from, and you can't control that. It means something different coming from different people. I would say there was a long period where it did, and I would say Mosely now for me now I think even people, I admire can advise you how to do what they did the end and I dont you're, trying to do something. Anyone else did and I don't ultimately think I'm trying to do something. Anyone else did this This thing I'll remember, you know, like I ran into Adam Sandler knees like a buddy. You got pretty rip that movie and anger. Oh yeah, thanks in Ngos yeah you know comedian,
be in shape and he's right, but as it turns out, I wasn't supposed to become, will feral, I just kept doing what I do. I like working out right. Well, I'd rather just do. What I do when they figure out where that fits than like. Listen to that advice and be something I'm not. That is really really helpful advice for me because it my world, is changing like I'm still, I an athlete, but where more and more in the arts in the performing space- and I think before the book came out, I thought that I would need to lay a sharp line of transition and I thought that I would need to somehow shed completely event. Really this pretty unshod about title of an Olympian that, like you, can't said that and you dont want to be here, and I think what I'm learning is that hopefully- and I think meeting you and talking to you about this in the hearing- not is tremendously it's like an intangible gift of permission to have confidence in
making it all with you, because again I just want to reiterate. It was great advice is probably objectively true, but if a change to I m per that advice. I just want to have ended up doing whatever the fuck it is. I'm now doing, but I'm happy to be doing whatever this thing is. I'm now doing yeah that's great to hear I like you, it hell. I'm really glad we got to talk to you, brave e, chasing dreams, befriending pain and other big ideas is out now, I think everyone should buy and Rita. I think what's up interesting as your story, which on the surface would seem completely unreliable, is like what sitting here right now and I feel like I've gone through very, very similar things as you and I know, Monica quite Well- know she's gone to very similar things. Does you and it's interesting tat, the more specific you get where they, the more universal it is, which makes no sense, but is that
right the headlines completely. On universal you're, an olympian okay well, and then the as I learn more more more more words is gets down to like the granular thing, that's very human yeah that mean so much to me and I think my reader spread the forward for the book. I think she capture just that that, like we expect this to be a certain thing and they are and they aren't I am, and I'm not there's got to be a take on them. I am what I am from Papa. Which is. I am what I'm not or I I are now we're work on job is to try to get it but digestible saying so great meeting you and ton of luck with the book and everything else you're doing. Thank you yeah! I'm very excited. Ed and super grateful to me on, and good luck healing your arm into me great and Monica. Thank you as well. Thank you talk to you later?
and now my favorite part of the show the fact check with my soulmate Monica Badman hello from great heights come great falls. I just made up a slogan Those great thank you. I think you also made up of slogan during our emphasis. According to Laura's, facts were cause. She said did you guys workshop? That phrase quote, I am what I am not so I did ebay that came up and though we said, we need a workshop that like to figure out what it means to come up with, maybe of a more sustained I love that I am what I am that doesn't make any sense now. Well, does it ok? How because you could either lakelet, let's put it this way,
in physics. Right, if you want to know the volume of an object, you can put it in water and see how much it displaced, sir right so That way, you can learn veto everything. Something is not you can kind of know what it is. Okay, so you can be defined by what you're not you are now, will you you don't like that? Well, I like defining yourself on things. You hate right, that's my big Pepys, but under six to their I'm, not brown, I'm not not dyslexic. Now, now, no you you could. Whether you could you are also it you're. Not that's true. I do think its counter productive to what we We say to find yourself by the actions you that things year connected to and they are connected to others by yeah.
I agree with all those who delivered things, though, like one the description of a human. The other is your identity. You know, I am always a mom, I'm sensitive to this one any time, I'm talking to somebody, and they say more than once on the kind of person that blank some about that phrase. I dont trust those aimed at the era and others, and here I am but look, I'm not gonna person that never talk shit you're thrown by that phrase, but I think it's not that you don't make those statements org, I don't look at me. I'm almost guilty of everything I dislike. I'm never saying that. I don't do these things from saying that the things that I dont like myself, and I noticed them and other people when I point that out, I'm just pointing it out to say: maybe it shouldn't bother you somewhat, because clearly we all do it, and so they, if you're doing What is it about it? That's bothering
What bothers me is that, if you have to declare who you are odds are you're not just doing that thing and people would observe it, but you don't need to declare who people know who you are through your actions in through your character. So, I'm always a little suspicious when people are always declared, who they are out loud makes me think, we'll know. That's who you wanna be. If you that person, you would need to declare it all the time Obama doesn't say, like I'm, a type of pursuit education really serious war, unless he's talking about its somebody doesn't know em and speaking on that topic, then maybe he would say that, like education's, really important to me talking like an inner personal conversation with two people on the other person keeps declaring what they are yeah it's a little bit of a red flag for me. Ok using your real life. You know, maybe when it happens to notice it. Ok, think about it, because maybe you're just not even noticing it and maybe, if you notice it you'll feel the way. I do, or maybe you won't, I think, I'd rather not be turned on to something that is going to make me not like
A person has not even complete to say. Makes me not like them. It's just this thing that I've, it's gonna, believe it You know it is it's like when we Bradley said when someone's talking shit about another person. To me tell me more about that person than the person there talking shit. That's just a really astute observation. So when it's happening that that now rattles in my head this is one of these times. Words like I'm, actually learn more about you than I am his person dynamic sense, but I think for me it tells, is your a person whose attached to your narrative in your identity You're somebody says what I'm a person who does this or I'm this or I'm like when you're really rigid in that is when you start presenting it to others, I think that's what it tells me you're really attached to this view. That's true.
I will say it's only a mild step away from someone referring to themselves in the third person. Would you agree dislike? Whoever I've never really experience that watches. Oh no, you should have looked at the light. Should everyone should look at the light when they have to sneeze make the sneeze coming but the can undermine was in his head to look at the light. I would sneeze directly at my Kronos trying to get my mouth far furthest away from the minor rang out, not blow your ears out. Ok, His role play this casual you'll, be able to tell really quick whether you like this guy tax, is directly into the mic. Dax always turns his head. A polite is gross. No one. Does that just people talk in the third person, you really really know someone who's done that for real yeah. It happens. I mean I was generally someone who's the things of themselves, a little too important sure I mean that it is not normal.
It's not normal. There's even assigned to absorb about people do know it's like fire me its likeness funny thing in his eyes, but to have I ever really heard someone do it now. All I have a bunch of them but anyways, it feels like a cousin or adjacent to that to say, like I'm, the type of person checks feels a little bit like Dax doesn't play there again, I'm not in none of these cases are my saying I don't do these things I do a lot of things, though, that after I do my eye was girl. I hope you don't talk about yourself in a third person, I don't Never does that. Monica doesn't like that text is always first person anyhow. Why, on stop back well either. Regarding all I am when I'm not oh yeah, I have always thought that,
There might not be the most efficient way, but it can be done. Is all I'm saying I gotta update everyone on my pet p. O have talked about it on year about walking on the sidewalk. I dont think I have to tell me oh wow! This is my ego. Okay, now this is our is layered. This is now gotten really layer. Ok, so I I've always had this pet peeve and I've been realizing it. It's resurfaced lately which is when you are running on the sidewalk and people. Do not move comedy I'm running on the edge add to this Iraq, I'm taking up a very tiny amount of space and I'm running I'm doing the hard thing and people are walking towards me in like
group are like two people and their taking up the entire width of the sidewalk and they're not adjusting, and it makes me so irrationally irritated here and also lets add dogs into the max. I mean no one wants to move their dog and Anna because their rescue, who rescued here Zack acts or tax, so I hate that, really irritated at one time years ago I was behind someone and they were they had their headphones in their walk in their dog. I was running behind them and I was like for a while behind them to have them. Look at me and move their dog and she didn't notice me, sir.
Ran around a ran on the grass around in the dog jumped up and bit me on the side of my stomach oak skin. One really hurt you get a Raby shot. Africa now you might be rapid. Maybe that's your fire besides, so she took her funds out and was like Owen, I'm so sorry Baxters, askew and he's gonna charities in less than a lotta trauma. I was not happy watch out for people who are walking by anyway. So this is a huge, huge Pepe of mine, now the layer is. I thought I had already talked about this on the podcast and say I've been running and I've noticed some people moving and got it nor had heard fecal. Am I not first while they knew you and then? Secondly, they ve heard I do
for sure, but I want a possibility. I wonder if that person, that reminds me of the great Well now I don't wanna hijack this but it just reminds me of the Howard stern thing where he like loved this instructor on peloton. He only takes her classes, but one thing he hates is that she would tell these stories about trip. She went on or something of this order. Anyone Talk about her all the time on the show is because he's ok, on the Palatine great work, I'll have a man. Did she go on about the thing right he signed on and she stopped, in any realise like fuck like Of course, I got back to her lap, of course, he's flatter. Howard takes her, and then she changed your personality in any felt terrible anyone under to go back, even though he hates you thought this is the funny. Is it's almost sitcom episode? How could this happen
So what I like about your pet peace is that it does reinforce my thought that, like now been? Is mainly annoying. It's really just whatever your thing personally, so I used to run on less Felis boulevard. All the time and actually prefer to run the grass, because it's easier on my knees so like I see people, comment, and I like get over super early to let them know like don't even sweat it I'm going to go on the ground. You just always run on the grass and if you prefer it It is quite often there's DR ways, and sometimes it's sometimes it's worth it to commit to this story. Grasp of disturbing grasses. Only like you know feet long? I won't do that because then I think it's worse. Switching back and forth from concrete but if I can do like a good quarter mile, the grass I'll do ok, Bernie Randal Mine, nor on the grass at all, and I thinking my arm coming really fast and they're kind of going slow. If you're going
you're the one working hard, it's very easy for them to step to the unknown, saying get off the sidewalk, I'm not so I could see where they're like this work is for walking it's not for running these were built, so people can run this, isn't a attracts, I'm doing a thing. This was designed to do, which is walk slowly and if you were coming, these. Will we have all this time to get over on the side of it but because you're sprinting down the thing I'm now now in this position, I've I've to react, really quick like a lightning bolt. You can Why do you can see me from far away and all it take is literally one tiny to the site if you're walking in the very middle of the sidewalk you're doing it wrong, walk on the side of the sidewalk and the other person will walk on the right side of the site or run or whatever, and that is
you a comedy every one and if you're walking in a group- and you see someone you have to adjust it annoys unit. As your moment, I would say that there is a very good chance that most people do move out of the way for you, because you are a bit guy people, don't move by the way I move. I always preemptively. I dont ever try to run by people walking on the side. Forget running walking blocking You're walking down the sidewalk. People are probably noticing you d crossing the street. And the rising this dream, and I always overhaul the or serious. I know you are, but I'm having fun. Well, you want me to get mad with you. I mean I want you to take this SIRI, I do take the series. I recognise that this makes you very upset. I'm not telling you not to be on pointing out that, like so within your
there is one that were similar on is I can't stand. I feel like this is more of an la thing than like. A Michigan thing is that people in a group are out to lunch like if they're in a group they're completely and the rest of the world that some part of this yeah yeah so like they're talking to each other, and they don't even consider that other people, so that's one of my Pepys but the not moving out of the way. For me, when I'm running is not a pet peeve of mine. Let me pose this to you as just a defense of those people, so if you're walking it's kind of like driving in the right lane versus the left lane, so if you're walking your we need to be passed by eight full The amount of runners is you're, gonna, be passed by people, walking, design, then also walk down, feels words you I'll lock on this circle. Yeah when I'm walking I get passed by like five runners for every one, pedestrian walking down the sidewalk, so they might think like there are so many of them they're moving so fast.
And they all seem to move out, move out of the way and all the other runners tend to take to the grass really quick. So you kind of get in this habit of they're going to come by a ton but they're going to move do the side, if someone's walking at me, that happens less all accommodate and get over. If you see someone, on the same sidewalk as you running towards you on their side of the sidewalk, and you are not on your side of the sidewalk. Why wouldn't you move over to your side of the sidewalk more because you'd. Two reasons one. All the runners, seem to just run on the grass, why did they shouldn't have to whether they should have to or not have to the in practice? Most runners is run on the grass. That's what, when I on the sidewalk runners are always just before they get to me. They go out on the grass and when I run I go on the grass way before I get to people. That is how we do I'm not saying ones right or wrong, but if so, if you're
the pattern you ve just been expire. Was to eight times in a row. Is that runners go out the grass and then you come along you. Maybe the anomaly for them. Maybe You think you know you're going to go out on the grass we need to move all these runners got on the grass? I don't I mean that it could be that simple couldn't it could not be that they think there are more important than you. I don't know. I guess that's not how anyone operates in the car. That's not how anyone you you room, make room for the other people you should. I do I'm walking, and I see someone coming. I make sure I'm not in the very middle of the sidewalk, if I'm standing next to a friend walking in someone's coming, I get behind my friend redo. Yet that's how you people should operate anyway.
There might be a fun because I'm in a way, that would be something that I would work through. This type of person I do know what I want to say mode I would get through this system, but I would go? Oh I'm getting really upset. By this thing, now. I want to run it through this system to figure out what fear of minds mean triggered. Just like hanging year laurels they're wrong and I'm right it might be. Trusting the run that, through the diagram of why it affection. Yeah. I dont like feeling like people are taking me into consideration. That's obviously what it is that is happening and that's my issue and people should take other people into consideration. So both things are happening right,
one thing is society. We should be paying attention to each other and I don't like not be addressed were seen as equal yeah. So That was why lower down the grievance section Aleck see the Lex varies. Very funny episode. I really dug the am way do most female runners athletes get their periods of their training really hard. I could Emily find that a lot of I mean. Obviously, there is a lot of info on runners missing their period naw man is not very good. Commissioner period. Yeah! Ok, I know its not go in your body is decidedly not having a period has it some doesn't have the resources to get pregnant called Athletic Maria sixty percent of women athletes have Maria athletic at a man or a whole, my God eminence,
it's really hard to say, area disturb menstruation due to the demands of the high intensity training on the body. Do you know how we told you back when we lived in Detroit? If we ate a certain food that gave us diarrhoea, we would incorporate the name of the food into the diarrhoea. So, like I had tire ia, I have because of tacos food like Tiree. This could be. Diary induce from Emma names and Maria a manner Elena Maria ok, so this has to do with estrogen testosterone progesterone their Annette. Two obsolete and often suffer from certain vitamin deficiencies lower than average intake of antioxidant and lower body mass index? Ok, if so, is not good for you to your bodies working to heart in the other direction, to period. Make yourself allow period, I'm surprised, I'm suppose you're having your period of Europe.
Among the Iranian yeah I'm not I'm not running like olympic levels. Yet, yet you what country was the oldest olympian sailor from and how old is he? Oh, this will be good a hundred. Do you want to guess fifty one fifty four. He wanted first lump nickel metal the oldest sailor competing in Rio during the Knacker ass, seventeen mixed catamaran class on to Tuesday to sail on at the sailing regatta he's boredom Buenos Aires Argentina. Sort of silly when he was six years old. Oh my gosh Buenos Aires. Funny you take anything even is like what is. I think we are very peaceful pursuit sailing, C mon yeah life long may that even making outcome for I now I can pay It concerns a competitive mapping. Oh my god, I could totally when a competitive.
You couldn't be. There were like it's a gunshot goes off and you have to be technically asleep how No, if you were fully there be a machine that was up to you and I will now conclude any sleep medicate, meaning the dope can't open the Olympics. Everyone's doing air Benito. That's all Pro doping, you know to see how far we can go. I love you love you!
Transcript generated on 2021-05-21.