« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Best of Year One

2019-02-14 | 🔗

Happy one year anniversary to us! On this special episode, we revisit some of our favorite moments from our first year in the attic(t). February 14, 2018- February 14, 2019.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome everybody to arm chair acts where this is an exciting episode forest, because we're celebrating a year in business, happy anniversary, happy Valentine's day, happy happy anniversary, happy Happy had happy anniversary the anniversary to you our greatest gobbled. Other world has ever known. Ban errors are ready. You did you ever see walking. We have also gave way that song so group, and so this is a best we thought we'd. This reminiscent little bare best of your one, hopefully listen and then hopefully also get mad that we left out. One of your favorites is that the goal I dont want people they get mad that I think it would be great if people right what about this,
What about this means that there is too many to pick, and there really was too many dearth of good start, but it was fun kind of thinking about our favorite moments. Over last year has been so many. It could have been five and a half hours lawiya. You guys got off three. This is a great opportunity. May God stand free? I? What does that mean Londono? Maybe you get off Scot Free, like the Scots, and I have no idea But what I will say is this is this is a great sag way in the same publicly a grateful I am to you Monica many miles bad men for editing a show. It's a tunnel work need to a phenomenal job. You, always always always capture the most important parts of all the conversations, and I trust you so much in once again, you had a heavy undertaking for this going through a whole year only episodes was at rob all end for the year Eighty four emphasise what a year, what a fantastic ear
during the country meeting. Cherries sittin on this Yummy lazy boy were Kleiner and talk in bamiyan these you know my favorite. We should have passed we plan aid me Andy added there. Probably share one of my more perverse, yeah Everybody enjoy a celebration of our first year and is we are supported by Roth Ease, Monica. I don't know if you watch this sixty minutes thing on plastics. It's a most disturbing thing in the world is just cluttered up with all this plastic that's being thrown away, I'm a large part of it is plastic, water, bottles, rothys makes shoes out of recycled plastic water bottles that are insanely, comfortable and stylish right, because you might think like plastic, yeah. I don't understand how that works, and I don't understand how it works, but I do know they are very comfortable and very cute. They are very
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from episode: thirty five Jason, Bateman and he's also affront wiper I've never met. One of those I am too you'll be disappointed. Truly yes, in what're, you gonna do about it. Yet, let's argue about it. So you, who, in your world view you like a dumb yes and then you when you're done, you go back to front what goes round upon. Well sure you got. Are you unit, but no one would, in my view, with our guard. This is what I want to push back against, You're telling me you don't have the physical dexterity to wipe your asshole and not touch your balls afterwards. What will your hand paralyze easier for me to go around where the balls aren't? I would argue it is not at all, because you gotta now live yourself off either get it do stand up. No ok, so you have one side, your leaning over right to get your I offer you go off so now you
now you're leaning on the toilet sea, which is already lower preposterous to me, my dear leaned over half way, and then you ve got your hand behind So you shoulder rotate or cuff potential, does that heard. We have read a rotating cuff issue. Like yours, I guess ok, so anyways very awkward pause for your shoulder annual leaning on your side on the toilets, you're, putting a ton of pressure on one side of the sea. I guarantee by one in your house today, your seat, I broke it. I've got loose. Yes, it is right or you're ruining hardware, whereas already oil, as all I'm gonna, see basically a back ras them. Do you use the lid as a back rest? Oh, like lean masher? No, you can't not too when you go. I underlined this will do nothing for the listener, but this exactly how I do it spread a little bit church take my boy, you, you have to get their hands on line here. I've got a second hand. It's not like my hand. Busy doing something I just ran my
My penis surmise grow them an agent lifted out of the way, and then I wiped like this, and I stay seated comfortably and again I'm picking up the toilet paper right after the clear of the aim is: I'm not dragging it up five inches through my parents, him and then on to my testicles, I would argue that that the drag is part of the cleaning, but why Are you happier with having some shit smeared up the top your buck crack verses, your parents? Well, what I'm doing as I'm as I'm dragging I'm also rolling the paper into constantly clean piece of paper, yeah, there's a role and dried and can be done. Your parent? You absolutely can you just putting in another step of clearing out the garbage? Here's, what I would argue we of stupidly mapped on a very smart wiping strategy for women onto man when women they dont want to drive guinea excrement into their vagina, they're gonna have a terrible. In fact sure, but you
of a no risk of ice acting your parenting, I'm sorry! I need your balls were as you and I were up against the back about a sea. Actually I don't do that. I don't do that because I've lived with few deeds and I an all out like the the what would you call sort of like the m that some sweaty deeds will leave on the back of a toilet with their sweaty ass. She urged there too far back on the ring and they leave and an M print ha ha. On the back and are buttocks So I am mindful of that. I read the front the sea- I'm not reading a book, I'm not used in the back room like you are, for I mean there forever sure I spend forty minutes and there in the morning the fact that only piles is amazing. Do you lose circulation in your leg? Sometimes absolutely here and I just hang out
then sometimes I get a second wave which I love. I think I think I hung in there for that. Long really twins errors right, remember so. Twelve, my lovely sister Lauren, Graham I've, been to Vietnam. With my dad, we did a bike trip there and he can still speak hates me, Jana, kids, yeah. And people are shocked. What was he doing there with his new Vietnamese? So My amendment for matters that were arrested and always gets add something right now late again many a man in my that's an international coffee, Viet, Nummies Viet, Monday are now now and not in every. It remains a beggar again, your ex it's great, so twenty five. My love with Mother Laurel about everything
I would be very illuminating to a lot of us, because when I have been on the outside, listening to women who are caught in a cycle of an abuse of relationship, it so hard for me to comprehend how you could stay in that and you where a very, very strong woman, and so I think it would be enlightening to know what what is happening mentally. Ah, when you're going through that cause, you don't take shit from anybody, yet you ended up taking shit from somebody right, yeah boy, I think what goes Is I had kids again, I'm thinking about one of the things said: as an issue with them was he was unable to tell the truth and he He was a drug addict, and so I had
gone from being self supporting with you in David to marry him and taking on a tunnel that, because he was constantly charging things at a gas station that the goddamn casual he could put it up his nose and things like that. So by the time. I was aware that this was not a good situation I need to leave. I need to get my kids out of this. I need to get me out of this. It was like I was so in that. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna support this? How am I gonna move on? There was one issue, and that was a big issues again in I'm pretty logical that pragmatic issue right, but the emotional issue is, I was brought up. Super Duper Catholic, and I ve been divorced from your dad was to say sinful and a disappointment to my parents would be an extreme understand.
And I saw a lot of shame about that. As soon as I hear I am married less than a year, it's a very bad situation. I've been kicked around the kitchen and bounced off the floor. Humans but I had. I need to get away and yet I cannot admit the FAO, the second a valuable your was so I was so ashamed ourselves, so ashamed and it was just beyond me too- You know like I'll, just try harder I'll, just try harder out figure this out here, from episode, fifty five IRA glass. I understand that for some people this is a question about his monogamy the way to be but like personally, I don't feel comfortable. If it's not me, alchemy thy glittered like I just got divorced. Awhile
I just started dating and the thought of, like dating more than one person at the same time, just gives me the Willie's I feel like I feel so like, but I don't know like protective of each purse. In this situation are just scared of getting one of the mad at me for being with the other one, like any situation, whether Triangulation alike- I just can be into like I'd even like the hungry. I've. Never even it is doing. I know that many people have three: ways- and I just can't imagine a team the most unpleasant for somebody who's. I got, people pleaser worry about what other people I can imagine like why anybody would even want that. It just doesn't seem fine. Why I wanted it very bad, and I had a cup why my day what I found wise when it's two ladys what inevitably happened for me as a dislike one more than the other, and then I feel bad
point is almost like a pretty obvious. I like this one. More right on my kissing, more maybe with her, they need sake. It stood hurtful to the otherwise. So now there's just someone I basically want to leave this making me feel bad that I pick on ice, unless you or maybe with identical twins, I dont know you want to favour one of the two people these. In my experience, I have favoured one now a couple. I've been with a friend in one lady and that works great I'll because and so unjustly sort of causing. I dont have, I don't know any man who had won a like take my clothes in front of and have that leg. A tape because environment have sex with somebody else like I can act like. I don't have any friend whose good- and maybe you just don't, have a childhood mushroom didn't whom still friends with that would take off my because you have sex with some lady no interbank, I was perfectly ordinary, will take our close the most
then no man at our aren't. I know I know I know, be very uncomfortable for you, ve asked there's been no. Day of my life, when I found a kind of body conference like I feel, like you know, this meant no now I was like a chubby kid and never really like totally get rid of the Chinese and not an unit is being like is now what? If that is not my path. So would you be a little bit afraid and that scenario that you would be their unfavourable person like as that part of their good cause? I would I wouldn't even get that far: that's even more sophisticated and one who had Frida IRA what, if the frown just feel bad from the start in industry and controversy, but IRA what? If the friend was objective Lee by today's standards in much
wars shape than you would mean get to feel a little that right now I would be open about. It just seems more vulnerable because there's two witnesses to it. I dont know that the whole thing seems like us. It's too seems like Ike, awkward, think three items: isn't it physically awkward? No, no, it's a beautiful figure ballet if it included, but it was this week. We, u we use sober during these things, get the first one was I saw was how I don't care, my very best childhood frontier Winkler, yeah. So no wonder you love him. So my all you'd ever talk about here and get back Lee Rigour we have had so now. We now my pursued twenty three Caitlin. Also well one of the finest writings actions that everyone awry was. You came Where are? We were gonna write and I assume ICE
yesterday. What's do ecstasy? putting out a middle of the afternoon. No way to do it, we should do it and then we should drive and our south the beach to go to the beach, because our french ass, he had a discount Gulfstream restaurant because you worked Houston's and so we. We take ecstasy right. We gonna answer whatever that yeah little Redondo Beecher. Somehow we end up on the each year. What happens next? Well, with first of all its powers, one of the best days of our lives were just very happy and were in love with our surroundings. Look I'll be hitting us all at once. Now, maybe I'd fucking California, its sunshine, watered, never been more beautiful. We look over and there is a God. Damn seal working towards beautiful, just seal. I understand big, beautiful seal hanging out and an unwarranted
loving move, oh my god. Oh yeah and- and I think I had already made up just once at that point once or twice she hated her his now comes the I think, that's what I ve always wanted you to do ass, he might promote you, wanna kill, Siano care, as a kind of can you knock it off, but he's not feel you're, making the zeal and come in so of course stacks, and I think that the steel probably want to to go over and say hi to it and then that's dead. I had this whole thought that or a seal is in this moment. I don't think this Chechnya, but in that moment, as I think the dog yeah yours you do it all right. You put your hand now, yet I can smell you, gotta nephew. Yes, it's got us in it and then I don't know your sentence. Be one hundred percent comes off. Yes, Emmanuel snuggled! This thing ass graduates, better, yes, and so
I'm getting closer and closer to the seal, and there are many people who are watching the ceilings as a rare, citing, as you see on the middle to be happy now so excited about. What's, let's about to happen? Yes, some people are screaming stay away from it. Ass, it became clear. Retro spoke, so I put my hand out and sure enough. It takes a couple snap and almost like a disbursed, and here we go and then a fuckin just before something like scams. Now and then it goes right, Matra Enneads yelling at me. I wanted you to give a as in they'll, probably always there, and there are people it's kind of split it was device of moment for the people into being, because some people are going. That's how Ebay say, hi like positive spin on this right and then the other half the people are not yet. How are you The wise yes in in so I had a horrible yeah by market tore up. My family was a gunshot wound. He was a deal
thing about a puncture wound, the God Damn thing's gonna he'll over and it's gonna get infected the very first mother fucking thing: I've been idea like at school I'll take care of it as a well me, my dimension: prince remember I now and there is no way I'm goin out upon a cavity furthest seal by I mean- and this is the part of the story- the people simply not believe in that. I'm fine with that. But few days there, are nine just randomly watching the evening news and theirs the story about why these seals are coming up on the beach. We were witnessing what was a phenomena at that time. They had an illness network. Yes, it was sick. Thickness. Writing here has any got infected and of course it did. I told you it was going to. Yes, you are right, then. How did I handle that? You remember yeah, you cut a big accident with a knife with a butcher, Nigeria and then got in there and clean things of the fact that, by the way that the scar still vary visible as it was. We said he a great story.
Episode thirty David horrible. It's a weird thing because, while at the same time a defeat, I guess, not illnesses are linked inextricably linked. I don't ever want, or man says the idea that, because your ears a special while I go off your medication because that special measures to find you in different languages- I think that your special, because your special rights and that you're also ill- and we can help you with that- the great distinction to make an idea. I would not want anyone to be embracing their misery because that's what makes them unique, yeah yeah there were the meat is the Think about like I don't know. The weird thing about society is like you're right. I mean it's contrary to the norms, but like there's acceptable limits, of that. Stuff is well that are pretty much universal login lip with I'm like going to episodes and stuff
they're, usually not as creative, but the funny thing is like the best representation I've ever seen. If it is homeland Theater, what's going to be out for season, she goes into the hospital at the end right and there's a brilliance that she acquires right before she goes in, which is like she starts to make connections that she can't make without it. But then she crosses over tipping point and people are like. We can't understand. You are not making any sense. That she's, like no she's figured and that stuff like that stuff doesn't make her unique or special or interesting are smarter need, just she's actually cross the level where she sick, yes, and she just her brain- is make associations that, like a, answer like their spreading in ways that they call it kindled in the brain, their spreading in ways that are useful and Ryan Seductive, and it's not like it's actually not like a negotiable thing? You're not like well, but colonel looks more autistic. It's actually like just not
remember so. Seventeen Bob her back So yesterday you you could he did a song with the help of my three year old Delta. You mustn't created a song from me. I guess so modest deleted, for they are so what happened she troops. I fired it right yeah, you know their line of her old man as it does a man that was kind of like it was despite it's something yeah I in the rule array molecules in Russia. There is like that song itself. We resist that. They re outlines view about like Delta, and I were just the vessels through which that
Kay House, it was already written, it's been written for a hundred years. Here goes written snares round number who c is obscene. I see yes, c c c c.
I see I asked Ah my it could be a hit. The search for eventual basalt spectrum, joy, Brian Wit, so would assume in new tell me. So who become like a master codes which are at this point right. You can that's really give I mean I I mean I think, that day every black person in America is a restaurant we have to be yeah. I mean in in
just them even more mundane situate mean like yeah yeah, just obviously much more dramatically. You have to do for your black and you live in the. U S but or Ebay or or but me like. I want you see away. I go home all my friends, you know Many of them are in jail, some of their missing tee. I codes. Wait. I go back there. I, like I talk different, I'm Galea again, I want to be more blue collar. I wanna be then more masculine, more all the earnings, and I do that and then I'll run it to some fucking, negative. I want a job from an all sudden, unlike I'm a Harvard graduate right now, so I'm doing it to its. Definitely it's more obvious. I think on the outside and we if you- and I even had this experience so we had met a couple times, and I and I are just- was immediately drawn you and then we started working together and I will say we shot the pilot, but that was really brief. And then we came to do the series and you remember you and how many is the wrong words here, but all of a sudden you got blacker with me.
Like I saw it. I didn't why don't adjective, I can say is black, which is wrong, but is being honest, and then I wish I had to tell myself, like oh of course Joyce from the Bronx. This is where she's from this is her too, but for me it was an adjustment, and then I thought I guess maybe a compliment like you trust me to be that other side of you to do. How do you make that this decision, whether you're gonna? Let someone in your circle into like yet another layer- is, conscious or not, I think sometimes is com just a means and to let you into aware we have a professional liar yeah I have like say shit that if someone read in a transcript, I'm fucked brand gonna, I'm gonna trusts. You know how I really want to talk to you. I mean, I think like as you get older, I mean you know uses fashion than you figure out who you know right, Gunnar roll up to
when I talk to arm one these studio as the way I'll talk to you right away. You gonna, run it thirty out very well. I met immaculately, Monrovia, momentary budget, the who might be able to deal from so twenty seven David said Aramis. Think you're hiding it right right right. If I go on stage and there's our Plexiglas plexiglas podium. I spend all night touching my dick. Ok, ok, because I have to has anyone- can see Ryan you're not supposed to write and then sometimes I do that thing you go into the pocket and sometimes it's like your brush in the funding of pants augur, but I'm busy doing their Parker Pool from all night, because I know that, because, as anyone ever lie still lie about, that is anyone's,
like I'm alone with a shell by my sister. Using the audience one night. She said what this going on with your tat because again you're up their new thinking or nobody can notice, and they just think that I've got lead. You know in the front my pants sure it has been said. Leg for an hour and a half cycled through its own clear if it's like a when podium. You don't have that it and I don't have to do it. I gotta make you ask why? Because if we chair this. What happens in my brain almost all day every day is from the second and interaction starts, I'm all I can Think of as the single worse thing, I could do it just like it's. My first thought is the worst thing that could be done and then I then come to what would be socially acceptable. I try to land on that second thing, but the first thing is like I want to point out certain you're probably really and secure about
you're not going to say this word I shouldn't say it is that's that's where my thinking starts, but when you walk into a room, these doubts are gathering little clues like all. I could really fuck up by pointing out that and then I could mention this woman's got you know she lives in her hair and then you don't you just kind of take up like a like arm, The super here see every bad men can be exposed right now. What is interesting, because he I do do that, but then I found that signing books is in place I'll shoot you do all of their real all of it Rob episode. Fifty six, Gordon key, so I picked up you're gonna, be the big boat which the alcoholics anonymous book of wisdom for life for better and inside it. You had a date. Right now
line through. It is another. Britain line through it, another day line through it, and this one on protein, eight dates for stuff online. And even there were couple of of comments with. I said you know why such an effing loser or some thing. That was that we need better, but it was a really the moment cuz it was. It was early in the morning. No one else was up in the house and I can both the same with me. I was by myself and I was opening this book and I was seeing this little intimate piece of your life, which touched me so deeply. You know that when a person tries again and how important that is. You know because like defeats others, no matter how it's a beating, how great your career
There is now and in the EU in all our come through, you might end up, but it was just really. It was really sweet to see them and was really moving to me to see how you can't trying again- and he can't try again and you can't putting those dates in there and you didn't throw out. Book and get a new and that didn't have these memories of failures. You wanted those failures right there to show you and you scratch them out and then there's the day. That's not scratch tat! Yeah words I will be working here, there we are, to you by legacy box. Mancino gets a bang legacy, bought her grandma Michigan,
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what it green dot com, Slash Dax in claim your special offer. Today. That's athletic greens: dot com, don't miss this episode. Twenty nine meal is action. Move now. May me tell the story few times twice at all, meanwhile it twice now. This was the agreement that I will come and the shared. If there are higher Embarrassing story. Is that so I was a kid. There is a really popular movie called he'll genius without Kilmer, and there is a bad guy in the movie and at one point they stated the bad guy in the movie. Pay check I were you naked in your room with a bowl, foliage, yellow and I was only eight or nine when I heard that- and I thought oh, that would feel nice, to put european handsome jello- and you know
My family didn't eat jello, so we didn't have any in the house so but firm an plus years. It was in my head that that would feel nice to have Venus and some Jello, so when I finally moved away I'm in an apartment, I'm all by myself and also just occurs to me. Oh my goodness, I go the store right now and by Jello. I have a car. I've got money, so I go to save on drug store in by some crazy luck. There are running a sale, Angela, five five boxes, for though I get I give five by the yellow is, unlike this is going to feel awesome. I really want to do this kind of often I go home and I I make a wolf is called a Mason jar full of Jello. Ok, and I make it I've? Never I will hold that's becomes part of it.
So how do I make? I make this batch of yellow and I dont even realize, like this shit's got a cool and I was well as making it I'm getting, aroused I'm thinking about five minutes away from making love and then comes I don't know this needs to chill in the fridge. So then I put it the fridge and then it just sit there. In my lazy boy, my apartment waiting to have sex with his job created a live thing, and I am now long it's taking the cool this jello downright so finely it's ready. I we need the kitchen. I pull it out of the fridge. I dont like take it to the bedroom or anything I'm like others do this here. Gauging manually, where am I gonna? Do it would have felt weird to take it to my bed and do it right now would have found? We ask that, unlike our all playing around with it, so I am sure that the were there the part I thoroughly because it over the end as everything else. So I put my penis in those Mason joyful Jello. I give it a cup
we'll have homes within a couple of palms, I'm just humping coolly. The whole thing is desired. There's no there's no resistance and there's no more action. I'm just sloshing my penis around in a jar of red water, like this was a complete disaster, there's red water all over my floor of my kitchen, and I just throw the thing in me sink and I'm like well. That was a disaster. I wake up next morning I'm going plea- and I see my Venus. I have like some spot. Is on my screen oh, my god they die in yellow attached itself to a SEC. Dual transmitted disease. I have set disease that the die has adhered to and exposed some disease. I have. I'm can Vince. I have a venereal disease, hey, I have no insurance. So I oh two and allay free testing clinic and
I go in there and they put me in this little behind the curtain. I hang you know what is going on. So the here comes in, and I can only assume that this lady graduated from medical amiss, eight and a half before she walked into the room. She had to be twenty four in she was a hand when I tell you she's, a ten I mean she looked like me. Elaine blacks want jack on it attractive, but I like what you want and was like. Oh, my goodness, this this doctor is a ten, and so she goes what's going on and I said well and I'm not going to admit that I fucked a glass at Jello. So I said, oh offered and I were experimenting with Jello fillet. She I'm trying to make it very medical and she goes ok. I said you know there is general involved in an oral sex and Mamma. She goes ok, we'll, let me see what's going on,
she gets on her knees out. I'm standing, I pull my penis out she grabs it. She lifted up. She looked at her and she says to me: she looked up at me in my eyes and and says what flavour was the jailer. And I go strawberry and she goes, I like raspberry and I became one hundred and five percent erect immediately. She goes, unlike raspberry, and I in our skies, ranging boner straight interface, to the point where she kind of like had to back up a little bit and she goes that's nothing You have a rash from the gelatin, you don't have an as TB and she Let me go on my way, but she's, I I like already and I got fully hard in her face. Stories out odor are now. I then made a girl Bree. Yes, she then moves in more living together for about
a year. Occasionally, after dinner, she well Allow me to make some jello and I know I'm not in the mood for Jello Disease ok and then, like a third time, do you want some jello? Finally, after a year of being the other and she's offer Jello like five tentacle honey, I don't like jelly, I hate Jello, I'm never going to want the jealous use. Why you violence is of jail. If you need to go because I got the fact that Jello I bought the agility and it didn't work, I don't know, I didn't throw the boxes away. There are only worth eighties, then I know you like. Ok, you answer eggs with some jello that still well was my jello story telling you that episode. Forty five, Harare the normal day, as you talk about this very profound thing, which is the self, and we think
itself as being one thing me back effort? I myself a new point now minimally there's two Dac shepherds. There's the experience shall Dac shepherd. The one who's tribunals only through Instagram and so happy for two hours the whole time out of doing it. I'm in Heaven and then Gordon laid down at night to go to bed and then there's the narrative self, whose writing taxes, life story, uses Jesus Duty, Vulcan spent two hours staring at your hand, that's a terrible ways. Dear life. I am disappointed in your right, so you start by just introducing this concept that even we aren't unified is one thing we have. These facets That's where we're heading with technology is that yours, smartphone very soon in the future will be measuring. Biometrics it'll know your blood sugar, your heart rate, you're cortisol levels. All these things in the example I think you give is that you could set a goal on this smartphone.
To help you realized something in that smartphone. Maybe I bright as your walking into a meeting and say: hey Dax, don't talk in this meeting because the last time your blood sugar, was this way, and you got this little amount asleep you a pissed off your boss, yet just shut the fuck up for the next hour and a half, and then you how's, the mouse in taxes. Gaining question of all is: what is the device? Can a service is again a service, the narrative, Dax or the experimental self, and will we go permission to make that decision. Blew my head off my shoulders is yes, I mean as as our understanding of the human body in the brain improves and at the same time as we have more and more sophisticated ay, I saw these kinds of scenarios that can going all kinds of directions. You can have the government monitoring you're twenty four hours a day. So if you live in North Korea and there
you have just described, will take a very different form. You two were biometrics bracelet all day, which constantly monitor is just what you said. Your call diesel level, the audio sugar level, your brother, blood pressure and so forth, and if you do, It happened to listen to his speech by King John gone and the bracelet picks up the bye bye but for signs of anger, that's the end of it We can go in that direction in in some countries even get even Nike, even more inconsequential. Like my wife's guided hook to my wrist and I walked by a beautiful girl in the street, he goes excuse me, sir. I see you at the avenue in Europe, yet they could and its oral end of all internal live episode thirty nine baron. I
are you writing partner, whose my best friend for many years Dave Stassen and from high school from me for fiscal? Actually? What the camp together? That's so I mean we ve been friends for certain other jewish thing. Jewish kids go to college, you gotta can't, even though David is decidedly not jewish. Ok, I don't want a decidedly Cosette assumes he's like an ethnic origins and definitely not, but I if you look at him in your like. Oh no you're, not you're, not yours, Also a holocaust deniers and eight he dies. We ask yourself what I'm sorry. I've worked. I within him he's gonna hear their city. They hate, like I used to this joke, where we would walk in a pitch meetings, and I would make a nazi reference today this before we're not just relax safe because they weren't real right and and think I'd make like the same old. Happy jokes were I do they know no jokes about you know the holocaust. Dave
grandfather died. There are often the guard tower. One day we were, we were. We were, we ran a room with no over there, but I feel it is. The first is that we are in a room with em off. What's his name, prying grazer rate group were pitchings. Moving to brand grazer, like I make like I just have some kind of it's a joke and short stays like stop blocking making Nazi jokes jewish executives, who don't know who I am I gonna do bestowed forty, seven Jason Rigour, when your father died. Did you feel like this thing that should have been a private family moment was open to the world
wolden. Did you resent that? Indeed Jude not like that were everywhere you, when you probably could sense people, because I guess, when my dad died, I enjoy that I could leave that little bubble. I was in hopes of sadness and I could go to home depot in no one in their new. My dad died, so they weren't going. Oh my god, I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I could leave that and I lived those breaks from that. You know, and I just wonder like where you were you trapped in that that time more. Like you just felt, like God, I can everywhere. I go someone's gonna hit me with that yeah I mean gets into cash. I say is interesting: when I'm stalling interested- and I like my answer- is going to be an may not be by. My answer is that you know I think grief is such a specific thing for everyone- and I say like It'S- a lifelong
journey, I mean. Did there like waves and and- and you know I'd sure- do not really just like their ears. Hole in your hearts, be I very go and then you know so you have better days in, and you know Nan tough, is an oblong peer. I've gone long periods of time where I go like oh I'm over that yeah my dad dine, and then I have a dream about him. These like setting our healthy in the dream and because also again, weird, when you deal with apparent I am for me not for you, I guess in your case, but for me you spent so much I'm at the end were its they, the devolved, physically and all these things that that ends up being a kind of your memory. And then I have these dreams and are all go like others. Righty was this robust, Gaia use Think of it like powerful in it. Just is weird he's kind of a mind. Fuck that way. Yeah I mean mine, mine was just like
disarm earlier this week and then it was just like hey. We got him into the hospital, but he's fine. He had a thing and then I got to the hospital narrow, like it's dead, Oh my god, I'm here I do believe, that's the worst version of its artist. I think for the well, who knows it's all set These are really is tough on an eye, but I think we re there's no gas way to lose a love one. Now I like, I say you look for silver linings and things, and I am glad that he was in a lot of pain, and you know there are things like that, but I also did never get a chance to say a guide, our worries about Canada, but but you did tat thing was initially, there would be times where I would be, having kind of an ok moment. Yeah and some would we hear about my arm and have this phased like
I feel like I know it's been, then all of a sudden because they need to have this moment with me. I all of a sudden have to dive my grief and then- and there was this one time when I was I was with my my fiance and it was like one of the first night and there we were at a bar. I was not during images that burning and monitored, and someone basically is woman, said
something to me and that you are only gosh. I loved her dead so much and then she made a party fail boy, I'm actually, when our I p anyway, like awaited stagger, I figure. If he might, I be anyway just started talking to her friend the camera Marie bid to be abandoned. I gave her my back produce. That is, they are happy without her ear Melanie was like turned away now tat. She was that that our idea, just sort of rather my love, I just to her the back of her head, very quietly, I want bone. Thank you. So much
I mean my greatest friends, I don't even talk to you about this episode. Fifty raw metal, many I'd, always noticed that people would get better looking as yours would go by. Actually, France is a great example yeah, although that was incredibly attractive cast in the very beginning, but you know that all of a sudden there now famous and rich, and they have better diets and they have stylists and they care a little bit more to and they have a little bit more time and money to maybe they have better teeth. She suddenly about airs all right and- and I just thought well, are our show eyes, he's been sort of the Anti sitcom, an embryonic
it wouldn't, is not realistic to the way that the characters treat themselves their alcoholics and there there are horrible human beings and if they live with that kind of stress that it would start to look terrible and then beyond that, and I will say a step beyond that. I found myself in the in the editing room one year and looking at myself in one of the shots and by the way we shoot Sunday in a very specific way to where we don't light it very well. It's was it's kind of supposed to look crappy. You has a lot of the charm and so I remember watching myself and going at one point the editing room like I don't look very good. I wonder if we should look for different. Take an assassin. I thought that I I was instantly humility. That was that's always been the opposite of what we're trying to do, and I didn't want to fall into that trap. Of being you know, look we all I will walk around certain run of the amount of vanity, but I try to I try actively to destroy that with my show and to enter into
some level of reality with like what these people would look like. So I decided I can't do this anymore. I'm gonna look is disgusting, as I can for next year, I M like that and then in the offing, and unlike how am I gonna, do their homework to do this without having to go through like here and make up and sure- and I thought oh wow- not. We should all do it. What kind of signal, how does one with gay incredibly would be if we ve all put off the whole care like if deeper and just for entire season and not mention it at more help tsar them. So I pitcher
Everybody and to veto was the only one that would like I rather like not, you will die. You lose parts out, even though we turn that so everybody said I am not going to do that. So I said, would you mind if I didn't make sure so I put on Gamma sixty by why it is as well as the details of how you did that yeah, just eight everything or well originally I try to do it is six I tried to be as healthy is possible, so I I I the Sultan nutritionists. Unlike how can I do this in a healthy way and and you he he up this this programme for me, and I remember trying to the first destroy yourself programme. On the first day it was like ok, you're you're. Your lunch will be three check amber.
Three cups arise in two cups of vegetable social rights on like China, muscle this down like Marian or can't do it. So I go to my doctor by the way. So I go to my doctrinal MIKE I wanna, be I wanna be monitored through this whole thing. He just for committing to be funny. He's. Ok, so I said ok to eat. He said to be clear. This is not funny, don't do don't do this. This is very dangerous and, unlike what I'm gonna do so help me. Ok, I said the healthiest and safest way for me to do this at an end. He said there is no healthy way to do it. So I went back to the nutritionist. I said I can't muscle this food down. I said: what's the caloric intake like this particular meal and he was like your way was so one thousand eight hundred calories or something and he was like, so you can either do that or you can eat two big macs. So I did so. Let's start doing that,
Then I had crispy cream every morning. I would eat for those, and then I would have you no end. Instead of doing it, the health where do the young Althea fun when the funds but its, but at a certain point it's not that fun bigger by the afternoon, I was, drinking ice cream, so I would, I would take ice cream and I would put it out. I would put it out on the on the counter and in the morning and then it would melt and then I would and then I would put like weight gainer plan to drink that every day gone, and so I was drinking heavily. That was the excuse to trace your line and and and then this was the key. This was the king. I found out that cottage, so I was going. It wasn't going. Ok, but was going like rather slowly. And I was just like I fell like you maybe work in everyone's I'm writing to this is not happening. I and I only had three months to do it so
like a zone of this is gonna work and I was gonna work and then I read that cheese, a taboo lies is really slowly in your stomach car. So so this particular die was like the last thinking. If you eat cottage cheese, the lasting you want to do is Edith right before you go to bed because it just metabolize is so slowly over the service. Like that's what I have to do so I started eating I did cheese, in the middle of the night, so I would wake up at lie too. I am and I would eat this cottage she's and then I would and then, and then one week later after that I I I came in on a Monday. I just seen the guys on a Friday and I came in on a Monday and for whatever reason it was like. I popped there all this work is all gonna. Work is worse than I was the I went from the other like once sixty two to twenty
So thirty Catherine ha you do bad moms with my wife and I go down too. I guess Atlanta was the first place or northern was the first place. Neurons norland I go down there very excited to see you on sat I go to set, and I want to pick right up with Whatever report we had in, you were definitely in the zone yeah being in that character. Yeah and now I'm gonna, ask you of my hunch- was right or not initially. I was like only. I worry that super sweet warm person. I was so excited to shoot the shit with. And then he was my conclusion I want you tell me if I'm wrong. Days later, when I got over my own selfish. I thought Catherine, a little afraid play this role. This is a big swing.
She is a little nervous in was I just what I was reading as your lack of interest in connecting with me as like? I bet I, but this is a big swing for her. That makes sense. Is that offensive, or is that, like I the way Goin, I was so glad you brought this up I'm so I did because others nervous. May I be over and enormously and excited. I remember Dax Shepherd from that. Is that you came up to me and said Katherine. When I first heard you are playing This part. I was like why, Catherine, I can't
picture you playing this saga of Jesus. Why why? Why do I say that? Because you probably were thinking like how is she got well now? What I more accurately was thinking. How is anybody gonna play this, because I read that script myself? Rather we talk about this. Doubt, however- and I thought I got a cold wife me- oh my god, no, no! No! No! No years so years, but let me just a little further. Were so unclear, my sight, so I had read that the budget times your role. On paper was one minor one minor one minor one, a dirty dirty dirty dirty, and I thought how was it actor gonna make this three dimensional in so first of all, from the other thing and and other things, and then, when I saw you what I was really saying is, like my you have the look like you ve authorities like I was now is. How are you
what are you going to do? Physically? That's going to allow you to do all that believable ie and when I saw you for the first time, what I was really trying to say is like oh, my god, you picked up. Look. This is amazing, and obviously I chose much different words since you get that point to crimes notice. Issue too, and I was like what is that, where yeah actually now, ok, so just Do you like? I was saying why, basically, why did they pick you for this role? Is that what you heard ass? Ok, I just advising you absolutely did a perfect. You know that's my opinion of it myself. I am, I think, you're had we all get really here that we should have started this idea, beginning to clear this goddamn air widen. This started like this pursued forty one Darcy card
I can imagine that, because I was doing the o Reilly theme, song and
I changed. The two may boost the singers clearing their thro, his part of, though all right who signs that goes, o o o Reilly, wherever one Riley candidate emigrants doing of yours is great and really make sense. We do movement and I really hope somehow the folks at all really hear the word of this interest. Try want even a small market. I just need a car. It could be really very I what is awesome clearing after all, we all recognise their luck. I needed to remain, I haven't even train. Remember they get a distributor out the system, free press boy that may now they are still lack episode. Florentines sweet sets three. There was all these like really heightened moments. That would never happen in your realised that were happening daily for us. We're working with a fucking real ten foot bear that's. Fourteen hundred pounds barred the bear was every day was something coup girl to date. One of the more amazing experience. As my life, there is one moment that kind of terms all them for me is that the cap Bart the bear in this horse trailer, and
you keep him in there until it's time for him to work, mind you he's not nocturnal, but all of it is a night you so he's grumpy is fucking their feeding them up huge saucepan, a coffee. To remember that I forgot about It had a huge long, saucepan, their feeding and coffee in doughnuts, so ease eating sugar in Cathy he's, so irate ensues it there's whores trail it always in ages. You here in the horse trail is rocking mation forth on two wheels and dug goes gotta go in there the door to a horse trail this things going fucking King Kong in there and he goes in there. Here and screaming. No Fuckin trailers managing a male pin Doug under him, and then you hear gourd bar in their trailers, completely COM Dayton, there we are imported by legal zoom. There is nothing more
haunting than having to go higher an attorney to handle your business. Never gonna dear. I write doesn't sound like the worst nightmare possible yeah. That's why legal zoom rules they have a network of independent attorneys licensed in all fifty states. Legal zoom can help you navigate all your legal needs. You that goes. You want to start a business. You want to secure your family's future you're gonna need legal paperwork for all that from wills, trust to allow sees trademarks, contract reviews and more legal zoom helped over four million people. I've used it myself to make a will make a difference in your this year by visiting legal zoom, dot com now and for special, savings be shared and are promo code Dax in the Referral box at check up legal zoom, where life meets legal, that's legal, zoom dot com Episode fifty want Renee, Brown
This is where we went through in five minutes, backstage whether you can say policy or not. I tried to make an argument that, since we're saying dear you can say, pussy bereavement wayward will touch on that. I call goal shared goals. Also. My argument, in a nutshell, is this: first of all, first of very small that shit you're playing on the stereotype of Pinochet Mean- and I accept- and I haven't they re. I think all the shaming should work. No, but all the same I want to say that the gates, its deplorable, that we call people policies referring to miss cowards and that the female genitalia is now somehow synonymous with weakness. For that's wrong, that's wrong! I! So I'm on the record that is wrong
but I would argue as equally wrong that every asshole in the world is a dick, like that's my genitalia yawl, so it's cool of my genitalia is usually used regime people were not your genitalia feels very equal because your genitalia is attached to the patriarchy testicles earn between them. But yes, now I just the thing I don't think there's a highest here. I take you don't It gets equal now because the paint that the balance of power is such a rather different knotty, but then I This question to you, I said: ok
we're not gonna use pussy anymore. This is always like torrenting executive and my wife is like yeah terra give him you get in a coma, even hd. Let him have it so. I'm ok was these off the table. Now, do doesn't want to jump off a tall bridge, not right. Smart guy but then I said: if it has a dick anymore, you can't see it. They cut me off in traffic. Can now you get you can all go. I mean there's something like there's something poetic about, look don't be a deck. Round one. Is you round one? As you remember thirty three said: no, Havana go every which way like did them recently and like got a thought
was in times more fucked up than our guy and a need to know the idea was allowed. Their new party want, like I was like I've. I haven't felt like us, since I was in high school, lay out just like this. I was I live God to another real function out like a guy like you would take me to it. It save asylum. If you happened upon me, I think too he personally, looking in every drawer, you know like it's really TIM like I've. That I personally have founded helpful for is like the. If there is anything yours you're sitting on that will probably uncovered in some capacity to a huge amount of mushrooms and that like- and it was something that I was like I feel like- I should do shrubs I've done them in a few years of like a lot you yeah, maybe my brain could use like a kick in the fucking got and then, if, yes, then I did them
I got a hundred million times more fucked up than I thought I was going to, and I did ask for the first time recently actually Alice, I tried at one time and it didn't work for me, so I feel very me it worked. It was. I found it to be like a little like generic It was for the wiser super fucking on time. Like how long that well, thou twelve hours like I took them at four p m and like force myself into bed, like four, a m was lights. Did you like probably like hallucinated, almost the most as I was lying in bed like that, I am able to sleep here. That's the part that doesn't appealed
they won't. Even when I have my fantasies about doing drugs, I was in a bunk. I was literally a bunk bed and even was put on it, so I felt that I want this morning and I felt a hundred percent. Ok, you know, that's agree that this is fantastic. It was wonderful. Ever so. Seventy one little so I mean my kids go to a with me. I went to a predominantly black school, but then they go to a great mix school. I may say makes maybe them, and why do I get? This is too difficult to come to the birthday party. Could she do feel good? So it is me, and we went to his birthday party.
And went against the ie and- and I hear people clapping go, go go also money, David and Uncertain, and other is less than ideal. Why you desirable wait? We wouldn't circle. I voted for the police about joining the rate of other, gave that's complicated, real, a very complicated matter. What I do- and I bet you should be doing- is like
you know in human history last three hours Avenue goodbye which so as to have a dynamic Davis. Jr. Ok, you don't like it would areas, thereby oh shit is evident in the light of a guy. Yours has so many move. You don't even have purposes sixty seven, our Christmas present,
guys, this song is cultivating fast these time. These signs in two years time
stands voice. I'm gonna sound so corner, but I'm gonna say there's some so few people's voice or when you hear it, you literally think you're looking at their heart. Absurd five Jimmy Camel what am I a year, I mean to you like to play jokes on people. You ruined my birthday party. One time came over
I am. I care ruin a party when it happens at the end of March. The party was over now. I know when I think of that birthday party, I think of that coffee pot, but I'd like to believe I like to believe that you you knowing how happy it made me actually made you happy as a result of that, so it kept us remember getting in like a fish, but what had happened as I like to make my coffee the night before and I set a time or so it will be ready when I wake up in the mornings is like the most important part of my whole day is that when I wake up the kitchen smells like coffee and so had gone through the whole process, muzzled sheep as a mother fucker, as we discuss them away at neither Russell heed our poor. Rightly. Actually. I think that's reasonable. I don't think so. You know I I mean
myself, ten ten cups of coffee and I buy Starbucks. So this is about a four dollars pot of coffee I've made and because there was a party and they gotten switch to the brew mode, not the auto. On modes. I made the whole thing I hit the button which I thought was arming it for the next I go into the living room. We play ping pong and I smell coffee officer. Why, fuck the copy going right. So I'm in only man right out of the gates of the coffee is brute. So then I go back in have the throat knows drinking coffee at nine, o clock grenades and I pour out ten cups of coffee in the thing that makes me even matter and then remake it. Now my step dead, watches me remake this coffee and many, he's me hit the thing I've now put it on auto on. I now go to play ping pong again my step dead things all poor guy. He meant to brew upon a copy timers though he puts it number because it's not blame thing, but I plugins method Gabby. Because I'm and now my area
is someone drove a car through the living room like? I am so angry that now I've out twenty five cups a bug scobie. I, like storm in there Actually, yelling in the party, don't fucking touch the coffee part. Like I don't know, one touches. Is carbon pie pour out the coffee make all knew better, go back in fifteen bids. Us
man I'm takin off I'll, see you later and the vital indoors certain then I smelled car you in their brutal third part of God. I remember you looking out there. I didn't. I hadn't told Sarah my girlfriend what I done you're so delighted cluttering up, and I was like you know, courtiers. What did you do to make more cause? I mean I had actually embarrassed myself like had even that third not happened. Definitely everyone. The parties like he is regularly of zeal oil. You had our third episode Ashton Butcher give twin brother Michael and he had elder sister and all her sister and he had met. Conditions. When you were a kid and I
have to imagine that that had to have taken up a ton of the time attention and resources growing did it. The my brother born with mild cerebral palsy right, and so he was always. There was always a party or my apathy. You had a courtier mob through new is twelve and then had a heart transplants and it was yeah heat. He took up a ton of energy because of that the EP in very early wishes pride before kind of recorded raven and then, when he went through a when we went when he had the heart transplants. That was I was like, and it was right around right after my parents got into force, and so it was like it was sir. There was like re read or on the same time as so that was, there was Definitely a ton of energy that was going is way rules is that the UN, I think, like suit. It did shoe things that did you feel guilty that here you guys
our twins and he's going through all this stuff in your not or are you just when I was there when I lost my it I didn't know ray. I just had my best friend that was with me and I didn't really recognize city had any thing. Than I had when I was a kid and then it wasn't until we started like play, basketball and things are going, I'm kind of always win rioting. Is like this sort of litmus of you knows it and then a man. I I I became extremely defensive hackers like, so he would get individuality which enters you entered school together. Right, yes, we're in the same grade the same way, all wagon single as a topic, so we had like you know when he I remember Junior high, like he was like started with the wrong kid in a kid like came after me for schools in a fight him, and I knew that if he fought and like like heavy did hit anywhere near his chest like a blow open begun, and I was like
I gotta fight. This kid, for you know, is a kind of now is mentality, but there is also, I think, the most significant thing Happen is when I was twenty three or four and he said to me, every time that you feel sorry for me. You make me less and he said the only life I've ever known as this one minute, I dont make less than than mine. Why did? I was like well like that's just there was a huge, is a massive wake up call because my whole life. I realise at that moment that I felt bad yeah. It felt sorry in guilty, in my whole life, for the fact that my brothers, going through this, and I wasn't there, and so I ate flip. The switch from me relative to not just my bra, their by two to everyone right so in any like by sea, a homeless person, side of the road feeling. Sorry-
for that person makes them less in their life like I can have compassion and I get have care, but its very catacombs, Should. I care is very different, then feeling sorry pretty well entity Iraqi, like feeling sorry for some was it is. It is a nice way of same pity. Then it was a weird shift in the way that I see the world an see. People so at eleven dapple Gang Herzog Breath, were, I dont think I don't think America's ready for us. Be visually in front of them. At the same time, although picture the picture that you're gonna Marina take, is gonna below painful reminder that unite both talk publicly about this, Kristen Christian once took out one of those face, swapping photos of unite into switched our face in Youtube, genuinely can't tell whose faces really. Weird, though, because
been told. It looked like so many people throughout my life, but I feel like as we're aging we're. Aren't we merging in our looks beginning and also you ve gotten way more success. Oh and known, and its changing in really annoying my life good good good, and I really want to go through the history of the whole thing. Is you let me set out because my earliest memory of it is is Kristen taking that face what picture from a long time ago? And I remember all that is funny, because we do I look like I was the first. I'm you heard that no, I think I heard it and so I knew why she was doing it, but I think it wasn't. It wasn't everywhere right now it now it comes in my life every two days. I think both of us have had tweets where we said like. If someone doesn't pointed out to me after, like a day, I think twitters broken like. I think actually, as is not functioning for people. It's funny that on twitter people, like has anyone ever thought like eighty three earlier, I have thought it. Let me tell you what hurts my feelings when they find out Not you years ago now
we have so much and copper. What's bizarre israeli, we look like we have so much in common, and one of the things is that we are both on a show that mixed drama in Kommeni, so I will help people to want me to go. I did a holding their heart I believe there are I loved you shall I don't. You saw montier, so sweet and they're gonna just the way that it would go between comedy and drama angle. The thank you. I know it was saw Belarus and I'm not gonna set an improbable in autumn and they like and your wife is Otis I don't. I don't, have a wife, let alone acute one belonging to my world, where my the most compliments are just a conduit. To tell me, they D, like my wife, has gotta get through the part where they act like they. Like me, just a very recently, a Christians from fame is is really made things difficult for me. Yeah well,
Let me tell you from my cuz: you are a successful before I was in the very first time this was brought to my tent. As my uncle called me. He goes. Oh my gosh. I thought finally got a show of using the show scrubbs. Unlike knowing his disguise identical. Do you- and generally. When people tell you you look like somebody. I never agree the other people I'm like. I don't see it people domain with somebody. I know Tom Cavanaugh. Do you get Tom Cavanaugh? Now you don't you get re remain together. We're going diverges that I dont look anything like railroad. You know when you do look like a little, but our Ben Diagram overlaps with John Ridder. I think, ok I'll take that would be both look a little like a young, John Ridder, that's flattering yeah yeah! I get the guy a lot from mom Krueger the Chad Creative aggravated ear tag along, I'm not gonna gets a chat, but now it was better when you for both of us when your hair was more blonde, the aviation is there some sort of. Why are you opened a dying? I used to get highlights because my dear oh Brad, Pitt got highlight so I did too
just fallen off of it, but so my uncle says in a watches the show scrubbs and I turn it in and I got to say I was like, oh my god, that is me not just the fish cool stuff, like the nose in the mouth, but we talk the way your lips You once said to me, and I always tell people this story because we come from such Burke, different backgrounds. Mew said: look: what's this dish movie cells itself, we were separated birth. Twenty I didn't identical twins. You said I was really you were raised in the in the south by Hillbilly India or eloquently little. We were gonna rancher someplace and, unlike EAST Coast, Jewish guy- for some reason week. We have to go to the opposite. I have to go to work with the Hell Billy's and you have to go to the bottom. It's four for the goal. Bergs will we know the gray is just a body switching calmly with you, and I know, there's no stinks. There is absolutely no days like. Oh no, I looked just like me.
The same thing. What will I do, but my picture you that that movie is called nature versus nurture and it was that the movie was, you know in a comedic way, was going to tackle. What does Europe bringing you too? You could make you a jewish guy on one side and a hillbilly on the other. It started as the same MRS ride. I won't I'm, I'm I'm one tickets sold for that movie. I dont know why haven't pitch to get at my door. I gotta see my doctor literally yesterday and war and he's really sassy doktor. He likes to be a wise us as part of a stick and he goes say something: I just saw this movie on the plane and I go going styles pretty good. Writing is not I who looks like you like, jack Shepherd Jaya chips saw the plane. I beg you really really look alike. I go. I know I know he's he's real.
The good shape I gotta go now. I know you worked out with, obviously, because no, but I mean like you, really really good shape, I got an idea where they re actually retail listen. It goes ones that borders are you. I know I got it. I got so many goes go. I gotta room till abusing comes in a room till he goes. I mean the duties like really ok, take tickers, think I'll, be sure that we get a unit six blood. I think, almost thirty years, man, you look nothing like episode, twenty one with two. We also in some ways act as though the normal curve has tied and children are either exceptional or failing nobody's in nominal or rights, and everything has to be curated and
Korea, graft and those twenty people that are your community better, be thou right. Twenty people to day I hope their ha well, the other part is no, I always say apparent. I want your middle school age daughter to have a really slutty shallow best friend. Tell me why it is right. Life and they work still heard your taking a p classes already in depth brave. So at least there is some liveliness interesting things to talk about right. We weren't it found that we got a doctor to say that I am pleased that a law be Elmo format our second episode. Kristen Bell
the worst thing I think I ever did in your presence exactly when it s, so we have a long standing issue with leaving the house on time. I think it's a very male female normal thing, I'm not good at it admitted Lena good, I'm about ten, I'm new Roderick about mean on time or early to places have yet to appalling that waste in your late to a fault. So this is a rest. Before disaster and it always rears its ugly head. Regularly when we go to the movies, because I like to get there with plenty of time to get that popcorn and give my soda- and I don't see the point of my day when I have to get to a movie theater twenty five minutes in advance for the ministers in a light theatre, especially since, even during that twenty five minutes, when I have like just pattern, as do women like fine, we'll get their whatever time you want and like you won't. Let me go out and look at the movie posters, because you're, like its amounts, are way too
more of him and his conversations, you just a story, so we were. This was one of our worst times of leaving the house. I was very pleased by the time we pulled out of the driveway and I was driving. We were going to see never say never, the digestive. I got a good thing for the second time cause I enjoyed it so much yes and I was driving even faster than normal to get there cuz. I was afraid we're going to be late and I came flying around this corner and it's kind of a gentle right turn and I went through that turn it about fifty miles an hour and there was a huge group of pigeons in the road and. In my life experience up to that point, you can't
a pigeon. Even if you wanted to hit a pigeon, you can hit em. They always get out of the way of your car and dumb in this. On this occasion they did not get out of the way and you hit upwards of found. It was light. It was the world at the wine. She all my god even saying, and I feel even worse than I did. Then it was he always brutal. It was, it was a terrible terrible thing. I lost my brain. We were already fighting so when that happened, I knew This is over, like she may leave me over this. It was it was It was really rough. We got you're, not exaggerating that it sounded like running over like a long line of cones or somebody who Africa and we got out of the movie theater
and we were meeting friends there who had kids and we sat down. I wasn't speaking the abuse and agro dropped ride through the first third of never seen ever younger than I apologize like honoured and asked. I just want to speak to you right now. That's right! and my one word more story about the power of that movie. Right really brought into being, as we were by the end movie. We were laughing and crying and cheering about Bieber. Only the holder's out of it. The editor, while the want. My one regret is that I thought about right after we did it, Can you get out and check for signs of life? And I didn't do that and I'm very regretful even to this day, because thinking one of those pigeons could have suffered a yellow happiness. Hers is suffering because of something that we did collectively we did yes, I was ten minutes late. I wasn't there. Twenty five
minutes in advance the ARC light theater. But you are speeding up like a fucking, crazy person to try to get to the theatre, which I did not think was an ok expectation. Tat was an uncalled for speed for sure, yes plan. Then we got ice too. I was so dunned as too but had just occurred in my life that I didn't have the wherewithal- and this is a very very few moments do. I regret where I didn't have the wherewithal to like, find my moxie and say what I men and what I wanted, but right after the documentary which work field us a bet we released speaking terms. Yandah movie ended with because I realized. I wasn't gonna leave you over this, but what I was going to do is tell you we will dry, which I did. We are gonna, drive past or make sure none of them need to be put out of their misery, and if they are, you are gonna get out of the car and you are going to do with their bare hands the figures. If you're gonna kill them in the car, you should be able to kill them. Their bare hands. We should a member really your responsibility and we drove past,
and thing none of them, but it shows that when I arrived in the road in just when I thought, thank God, this movie kind of got us back to talking you set out. We need to go back now. Has I go junior anyone back to me not in the corner and origin, a real live, you're gonna, either or fair form, CPR or you're gonna break their necks right, and that is gonna be what something that you're gonna have to deal with. Yes in and we went back and there were a few dead birds, and luckily none of them were suffering. I didn't have to do anything morbid. Ass. It turns out that was rough, yeah yeah and now always smattering of monarchy. A nice favorite fact check moments right. Monica yeah- I haven't been here the whole time, but I'm here now you're here right when it counts for use per use
she's, an armchair fact checked dream. Then they do she's an arm chair back Jack. In matters of migrant workers. Short selling I fear that idea, so we with some people, have expressed some mum interests in our arms. Expert mugs, their gorgeous rob came up with it on his own he's got a great aesthetic data and dumb wooden. Rob did that was weird is that ours are virtually lefthanded mugs because you gotta hold your left hand for the tent. Forget it. I see you yes, I would. As for me, exam left handed, but we do so If we do order moves will order them in the correct set up must be well right handed and you had a brilliant idea got hit. Em we're gonna sell the left handed mugs, we have about ten, and these are the lot, because these are the things that we use here and in the attic, the ones that live by
the toilet and hearing what the price they're gonna cost a little extra Khazars special, so give or take too thousand dollars a is great and behind this- is which was really well articulated by. I think our foreign Troy, I guess, Hooters used to offer like a bottle Adam bearing Young and some wings or for some exorbitant price and then this kind of talking point, so we maybe this no one will ever by one for two thousand, but we'll just advertise them for two thousand, just as something fun to talk. Well, I can you believe those assholes at armchair expert, think being too grand for a mug name. You know I someone's gonna bow. I hopes
and we're gonna do something special for these moves. Even extra special or dna will be on the outward. I use them and then you have a little piece of us with you. What is usually put a price on that, would you could potentially clone us in the near future? Our friend Molly one, I'm actually happy she wants to. She deserves the wind she's. A much better person made a lovely girl the prevailing on woman. When I walk waving in a child, be means gravel. Those he's a fully functioning woman adult and you too, for an smart, very beautiful, very beautiful, my body ex wife, and can't tell Eric your wife so She is, she is incredibly stunning yoyo built like a brick should house too,
that still accomplishment. Now I don't. I don't know what that means, and I don't like any of the words and a good. Then I strike a strike. Oconnor till one thank you because I came out of the goddamn gates with the seven ladder the NGO which is hard to recover from so all the more credit to her house that is built out of bricks sheet. Were able I understand what could possibly be It will because I think that first of all, she had house, I think, is an outhouse okay. So, back in the day before people, indoor plumbing my grandparents and now House and Laval, New Michigan habit is made generally of wood is just like flimsy made. People can pick it up and move it behind the whole, which is what my grandpa would do with his brother to their third brother. Falls in a pit of shit on their way in the middle of the night. To use the bathroom so a brick shit how is very well constructed. It goes it Harkin's back, the three little pigs Monica,
well built. I see in what I'm saying is my Molly as well built yeah like a brick shit house, your Abrek shit house We lack micro but come our way and they speak in us, billion acts ten or so I've I've did is surmised yeah Thank you for calling Lucifer's biter. Why me I have three locations. A male rose, location, Piraeus want or or he'll helps rotation hygienic. Through Hell. It's because I bought em out Welcome to this episode of fact check by Monica Badman. That's me Monica Batman, Ass, we gonna U.
Again. Where are we also in the interim, since we did the intro now doing the fact check in with the bad, we in fact checked Robin yeah, rob a k, a wabi lob. Why must you haven't? Holding lobby he's told us that the record for are treading. Water is a mere eighty, five five hours, which I find so hard to believe because the pursuant to sleep in that period, now they first there they play first one the record for not sleeping. Ok, then they ve water affairs. They can do. I say this sincerely. I could not stay in a bed on my back for eighty five hours, It hurts my year after like ten hours. I start I'm in pain. Will we do still have the disposition,
we don't have an inner city. Do you wanna tell people the Edna City of this person, I'd love to, and I only like, I'm allowed to use your city. Magyar you're allowed was an indian gentlemen here ass, a continent so impressed I want all the more round I want. My twenty three me results to show a little sub continent. I now little better that secret sauce in my recipe. You said you were making a joke. You said clout I was I was sixteen ironing a trophy and then I went to ATM Ocean what is our me? Well, I don't know I mean I know what it is, but I just don't know that we should be included in the telecast. Tell me I'm dyin spheare some. Into mouth. Ah, yes, That's what you're not gonna sound too mild ass to mouth. Yeah! That's got away!
so my mother listens to this power gallantly, that's the thing. You decided to censor new deal It deserves censoring it's a very mining is earlier and that some sixty nine is like holding hands. It's. It's almost exclusively done in your in your lay teens and early twenties. It's not like you're, never gonna walk you non grandma grandpas, sixty nine in it just gets retired. It's like you. You're not gonna like among them sending the mastery mouth action were all. I can't speak to that I'm just show those are my core that you had some reservations. Darling. You don't know what I'm saying, No, I know what you're saying you walk me through. No one saw all its soul, Were you can't actual and walk me through? I did not say it was so innocent. I said of all the things you say not me,
don't say very much grow stuff. I'm a controversial two mile, whatever be who you do all the time and you love to do it so I'm they shocks as a party soon Why? What do you say it? That's? Why? Because I am so. I am sympathetic to the fact that many our beautiful arm. Cherries- God bless them. Maybe I don't know are not the means, but fuckin empty when your dick out of the ass in sticking a right in the girls mouthing getting head or while you were but for a united, and I know that our dinner, I knew it, but I don't think any of our not most of the people would think that if they heard that to me when I was a what could asked her mouth mean someone's ass, o That does make a lot of sense. Tat makes the most sense not incorporating others, others, ok, Brazil, rights
You're right you with your interpretation of atm. I would have easily said that, as I said it in a movie, I wrote correct, but I would not have put anything in ships that said Dick. Moving from ass tomorrow. Yeah, ok, Feldman too far, I will say one goes sideways and people are man about it. I did warn you of air. It is very, very hot, that's it our people excluded. Everybody here, Cuba today I stole,
impersonation of Turkey from Aaron Weekly. Oh that's his impersonators such a good turkey impersonally. What a niece I know before! I knew him. I think I went Gub Gub Gub Gub Gub Gub over her standard yeah, but then he goes and I think it's more like a turkey yeah. I think you're right so her high school crush war and she planted does cease to see. Well, there's a brand. Yes does see. How tat you see here is a rankled doozy yeah that they make some pretty nice garments do see. I had never heard I have in my whole life cycle. Bing Brand created in the eighties by chance do see and he married the wanted. Mom's on full house which, while what's her name, I did a movie majorities Joey's. We now know
hey man I had all San Antonio man or no no there's only three sisters NOS one of the parity and assume lorries laugh really a lorry laugh when I believe my uncle Jesse's were am Beche de hot one girl she never blonde hair when this one the ant. You didn't know blonde hair for going well There was full house, no one, I just know that use very famous nineties actors and I did a movie whether in she so lovely and on the basic error, lorry Laughlin. It is her years that blonde hair all really than what the fuck is going on about photo. Look it long days. Oh my god, I'm get it, there is blonde hair is its blatantly blonde, her hair, that look at her route that nobody will automatically new routes are blue. Ok, I'm sorry! I hear you matches riskier Becky on full house. Ok, yes, oh my god,
Monica hurry, hair is below her hair is blonde? Is brown? it's a light brown I mean like right here: match her white shirt dies. A full house. That's post full house, Man Becky, but the point is glory waffling is married to Stacy was when I worked with her point is ms married, this do see was married to Stacy and she has brown hair. That's the walk. Let's take always mine, her her huh That's doozy about his name is chance, do see most of my long long be wrong.
If you ever going to confuse to brand names, dizzy and muslim or are pretty darn clothes? No, oh, my god Marston those like a fancy brand yeah. Those who see a nice girl Stacy is like she's married, a most somehow Massimo Matsumoto, you married a mossy moto. Let me just show you what I do see close and what I know you don't need to show me: I had a sweatshirt is deuces. What do you think? That's yes, because I am a mass and mouths sweatshirt and they were very similar in there. Maybe I'm thinking of Mass Amerika. You know what you're thinking of I no exact. Everything in Heaven they so that a target Amazonia, John, let's we gonna, cut this entire believing it all. I know you're not I am putting this now I M a little bomb
I was thinking about it. After the fact in a special and I was going back and listening, I am upset with myself that I didn't have a louder voice in the especially the the elements of the conversation about me too. Who all that staff that applies a more to me than an applies the two men sitting in a room for sure I have no problem generally expressing my opinion, but I think that sort of a weird microcosm further, all issue in general. A hundred percent that was exact I think you're dead right. I think it's a total microcosm of the whole thing and why this is even exists is because men feel like they have this right to constantly dominate our assert themselves, insert themselves anywhere. Yes, I certainly do here in women. Don't seem to have that feel like they have that right or maybe it's not only there's biological components in cultural components. Yes, I think genuine its nature and nurtured, that's contributing to this problem, but I am
I am assertive and I'm very comfortable with you. So it's not in until it was incredibly wonderful and I was intimidated by him while I was sleeping so smart, but there is something about feeling like if you're a woman in a room with men everything you say has to be extra, good, more extra profound wars Roger will you gotta be the best, army singer in the world, live in the neighborhood average White Dennis yeah exactly and you have to sort of clay away into the conversation made yourself known, whereas no one else in that room is doing that everyone feels entitled great in so you bring it up. You, you ve kind of wanted to bring this up point out what you ve observed, now doing thirty, whatever checks and all the stuff so the other difference between male and female guess they come in yeah I've a lot of gender and discrepancy
is one being one. I added episodes with female guests, I've noticed that women, often they they get them point across very clear Lee and are often very eloquent and have wonderful things, a say and then immediately is followed with they backtrack immediately like yeah, by that I mean I'm an orderly. No, I don't I mean yeah, but it may be, and I know what I'm talking about the mitigate, what they just said. It's a self deprecation. It feels like us struggle to have to say something definitively, even though they are there's big you very clearly, and then it immediately as like four did. I make any sense at all now, and it's just a check on yourself that that none, I will I think I will literally say none of the man come in, have done it and most of the women not all there's been some exceptions, Katy Correct being one
who is used and that not having to do that. She blew. She was extra greatness, interviewer of online yeah yeah. Her all that cloud yeah. My best friend era weekly was out visiting from Detroit. This is probably ten years ago and damn we were at a ball are enough. He was super drunk and Zira awareness of movie actors, celebrities, anything he just couldn't care less about any of it and now we are at this karaoke bartered Koreatown. Then he came out of the bathroom and his eyes were so huge and Ngos holy shit. I just saw Fuckin Terence pause and urge the toilet. Can I go why I saw Vulcan Terence partners at the Urinal and whose Terence passenger who use
Jim Jim. I got magician Terence Partner, who I've never heard of him. He was here you have these. Fuckin magician Hogwarts right moment. This guy walks out the bathroom that I mean just barely looks like Harry Potter area Our was Terence Pasok, and this guy, when I see kind of look like it. I mean he was afoot taller than him. He was much broader buddy, I see a glasses, that's much were made em. There is such a good slacken, Terence Partners in the toilet. Look the magician! the wizard world, that boy so funny
The word that always boggles me as buxom me. What the fuck is that word buxom me with an accident and you say buxom me: I'm never said it, the warrior, because its intimidating write me means big boobs issues. Very buxom is like a p d were way to say someone's got fat, natural's mouth like any other is the phrase I told you that I don't like fat Natchez. I know you know you know I love it. I know you love it because that Natural's did. I say that I did. I go straight defend Matthews, because that those who was triggering you I dont like widows, fat pure, and I think it is p h. Aid to now has now when it loud ass. Now what I mean you know that Romano means We know what it means the person and introduce you do it or the person who heard it. Sabres, ok, I'm I'm the one who told you
make it matches. I did not make it so to other friends of mine. Introduce me to I loved that natural gas. Any. You really think that the end End of that word, fat is p. H. Ain t I can tell you, regardless of what you think about it, that the two gentlemen then introduce me to the term and then he too, it is a great compliment. I now that it's a cop, man, I'm not saying that you don't think it's a compliment, but you know that the word fat in that phrase is not referring to P h. Eight Lydia's, like your view, or to say she had this, just big fat, ass and fat tidies that is your dear saying you, are in your excited. By than you I know you were talking about two different things. I'm not saying you are excited, but you're talking about actual fact
will literally, I think that's what's in Teddy, exactly exactly your attack them derogatory because- nobody wants to be associated with anything f. Ain t got contrary mine, Frere, everyone joy was in here and she said she was completely: secure in her neighborhood in the Bronx that she didn't have a fat assed that that was very much desired. Came someone said you have a fat dick, I'm in. Thank you That's great! You do you want some. I dont think that someone saying my penis has a beer belly attached to it, I don't like. Ok, why will never ever describe your breast as fat, Natural's, great but but but but the point I am forced to this guy who as the keys Monica does, whose Monica Gide my
what does she look like and then by gunpoint? They forced me to describe exactly what you look like? What do you want me to say? Yes, back, sunlike Semi gram. Does bickering crane about four people, a million dollars for a seaman yeah. He said he denied sexually assaulting over as indifferent women who took his class and in an interview in which she explained why there's no way he ever needed to assault a woman. He said people pay one million dollar from drop, my sperm here he didn't ampler alone, I didn't die, that's good anyway. I always said I can make this here, I really did what's your name Manon, no, sir! No, the dance, sir, the dancer who
not sexual, but was appearing to be sexual. Remember document a meal, I'm trying to figure out the the spanish stand, Sir, who was also Chacha, Chee chee chee chee chee chee chee chee Chee she now and she would say, Michael's my Coochie Riyadh my could she could coochie Coochie air warehouses like her? This is a few almost couldn't say her sentence without doing an ax is horrible chimera. Charge so he said
can make million dollar Today's movie pluralist make million dollar days Yeah well. That was fond wasn't memory lane. I love memory lane on love, if I pop, but my turn signal on are enormous and when I make a right turn, I look up and I see them now, memory. Boulevard love love. Well, this was really the bachelor something was. There was a favorite for you when you,
the sum of all my favorite yellow does some like a year has gone by between some of them, and so you might think like that seemed kind of fun. But then, when you listen, you really are well, really fun yeah, I mean really. I felt that about all everything was like God. This shows so fine we're really. I feel really like the Vienna I'd ovule really lucky to react to. Thank you for having me thanks for having me. I can't do without you I mean. I want you to renegotiate your contract and I'll. Remember that arm chair is that was our first year and we hope we can give you twenty or thirty more yes, yes, yes, and hopefully next year's best of all rival, this year's Besta very first year I am no walk. The worry near where I always get worry you getting our real, clear rules. We do. We do. That makes me think of her
own will soon that their interview, I read with him and play boy gesine the interviewer asked him: do you have any tricks, forgetting speeding? Tickets? Ok, it's the best passage. I've ever read He said you. I knew Kleiner inquiry on their sterling work. You know Paul, then. Maybe you make a joke or some you say some kind of funny and then you're trying to lead towards? Is that moment where you look at the Compton? The cop looks at you and you just shake your head and you both think we'll get us out here on the side of this road playing our roles in this crazy game called why you can get to that point in the exchange is gonna. Want us poignant, it is legit. I feel like that's the best window into his mind. It is trying to get to the point where both recognise your plan rules in this crazy.
Called life why there was a non sequitur, but I m glad we said well, it's important that we had an impersonation on I guess you know it. You didn't even look at me. Thank you who welcome you do that for me and I call on all hormone or normal slim with more work functioning. Remember our stronger! You! Ok! believe it or not. I actually do out unembarrassed allowing now learn something every day is a few things side now in Scott Johnson help me really figure this out. We figure this out together because Scott Johnson are so close Scotty. Ok that we'd always like when I was at his house and he took a poop. He just left the door open, so we continue to talk, ok and I too who had just leave the door open when I proved so he and I could continue to talk. There was a really nice level. You know intimacy yeah, but what we do Also we do is we would shut the door when it was time to wipe-
and then we like and then like one of which is notice like oh you news, which we shut the door when we wipe, and then we really were thinking Why then are reared in what way? realized, is what's embarrassing about wiping your but isn't the wiping the. But it's when you have to, Look at the time that I don't want anyone to send you doing really give feels narcissistic. Now whether Gabriel's grows its ground, but you need to its part of wiping your, but you have to examine the toilet paper to know that you're John, but it's so vulnerable. He has required. Looking at your own toilet paper. So I guess what I'm saying is my goal for us in two thousand nineteen you and I am honoured to really take the show them the next next love. What is that we would be able to look at her toilet paper while still talking I'd like that, the get there a mere maybe
twenty thirty years, but I think I think it's a great norstar for us to meet you there I love you. I love you. I love you arm chairs language, so much again for giving us this beautiful experience, civil cherish toward them. There will be one of many words. I say wrong. Thrust infects little bit, Viet Monday are now or if you were walking along the beach and you saw someone drowning. You dont rounding vehement knees up in the Attic sauna fair. The Chinese now guy still bad across We ve had a lot of people in this attic who say: okay, so that ok, you're doing God what I vietnamese value of unease.
Transcript generated on 2019-12-11.