« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Chelsea Handler

2019-04-01

Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately, The Chelsea Handler Show, Chelsea Does) is an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, producer, activist and bonafide baller. Chelsea sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss her very odorous experience on iowaska, her need to escape her family and her realization that her patterns with men are the result of a childhood trauma. Dax asks about her relationship to substances and Chelsea is hoping to find a skiing buddy. The two talk about the root of her intimidating nature, censorship in comedy and how old men love Chelsea.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Well, armed armchair expert, I'm back shepherd joined by Monica Badman, tell where a very awkward situation right now. Will it be? What we want is a holiday in summer, those running all the technical staff in. So, if your hearing us right now Monica did a great job here, good job on a guy like you, is there anything the scale can't do. I think today we have someone who truly needs no introduction, but I'll give one anyway yeah Chelsea Handler like that, what a party we had with her yeah, very F, an honest. This is one of my favorite episodes gear. She was really really incredible. She really was made the my job easier hell. I was really want to talk to her. Now she has a new book coming out: she's written a lotta great book earlier. Our new book is called life will be the death of me and you too, and it comes out April. Ninth,
it is a mere weak away, so pick them up. You'll enjoy it she's, a great great writers, she's hysteria, an incredibly honest, it's a huge pleasure for us to give you Chelsea handler an one. Last thing, I'd like to announce that we are coming to San Francisco armchair expert lie in the city by the bay. When the lights go down sit, there is our city there talking about Cobb Armchair live from San Francisco will be on Friday may thirty. First right on the knocking on a backdoor summer. That's Friday made thirty. First, the bill. Gram, civic auditorium tickets: go on sale this Friday April, fifth, at ten, a M Pacific standard time, there's a link on our website, armchair expert, pod doc,
I'm so by some tickets and party with us in the city by the bay we supported by the great courses. The great courses plus Monica is basically brain, which is to go back to college, but without doing anything as already many paper, knelt brash, just the fun part, where you're learning all about these fascinating topics. The great courses plus has lectures on archaeology philosophy of humor strength, training, new killer physics, you name it vague cover it there's an incredibly interesting one. I think armchairs will be fast NATO with which his understanding the mysteries of human behaviour explorers how human nature evolved. Why do the overreact ooh? That's a great! Why care what others think about us? What really makes us happy? It really provides a deeper unjust
you mean about ourselves, and others is a fascinating course. We know you're gonna love the great courses plus as much as we do so. We ve arranged a special limited time offer a four month of unlimited access for free, but to start your Fremont, you must sign up through our special. U R, L sign up at the great courses plus dot com slashed Dax. That's the great courses plus dot com. Slash he's out. Did you guys me initially, the more I Monica nice hobby, is fighting with each other. Are we met? We bonded were fighting about Syria, whether we thought Adnan had done it or not. I ever heard it ate. What did you think? Well, I decided I didn't care if he did it that he'd just shouldn't be enjoy.
EL based on the evidence, is you're like a lawyer, exculpatory evidence and use nine. The law exert goggly. I get that I gotta horny a skull vulgarity that these aims only any have time to get a burning lucky. I hated my relax that everybody- the already really know where to start with you, but I'm Chelsea a welcome to the attic. Thank you for having me really really exciting and the tables are turned because we ve yet only shared. Maybe five, four five except were you interviewed me and now your research, yeah right on early right in here. This is a very exciting time, for both of them have really. It is a transitional phase for both, but I remember doing your show and a better host would like or reveal this much later and but I ain't gonna have a crush on you. Really the forger yeah yeah, like I think, gum going,
do your show. I was more than just like. Oh, I hope I'm funny I'm like. I also hope she thinks I'm cute or hope you know what I'm saying. I hope there's some kind of rhythm that happen. That's interesting is most men are really you know, scared of. Like me, I was curious about that's sincerely. Are they think Southwood turned off a better way to free? No, no, no! No, they are because you know I'm an overly opinion I did and loud and it's not it's not a hot look for a lot of nice, guys, we're really sick or with themselves, sometimes are like more open to it, but usually guys my age or in my demo are not the guys that I appeal to. I have like a sweet spot would like some they plus the wrong guy by strict guys, you now typically like no one's hitting on me, but do thank God. I want it head on back. Well, maybe maybe you know we say where they're afraid a lot like girls say that and I feel like that's a lame thing to say, because I don't want to
finish. Men and say men are scared of intimidating women because I'm not trying to be intimidating. I just have a really you know we were off and it's like I wish I would shut up to who sometimes will as a dude. I could floated few theories out there, one of them being its already scary wrote someone it's already scary, to kind of like put it out there hey, I kind of like you that in itself, even if the person's Mew in can't report this insight, to anyone else is already scary. Now you add, on top of it, that they have some, sense of your sense of humour and that you can be a service when the when duty calls that fuck. If this goes wrong, she might humiliate me or make fun of me and then it might be a story that thank its toll so that I totally related because I've done that written about a terrible all like sexual experiences in my books and I've written about bad dates. So I that's totally warranted the in did when you did that. Did you change their names? Yahoo com and ask us sometimes I would call it asked for permission as it. As I said when I started
I started writing books. You know the league those issues are you have to get permission for areas. I just change names, undisguised people, but it so stupid because you, changing when I showed you my siblings names in my books, like that, it's not hard to figure out who are talking about you. If you can think what you're fucking siblings there there your I mean they're, yours siblings. How can there be a legal issue yeah with that? I think they are burst like I agree with that theory like if it's your family you're allowed to talk about whatever you want, but it's you know, for instance, my brother in this new book. I talk about your brother's wife, she's russian and I ve seen enemy of the state, and I not in the most flattering where he had told her, how I feel about her a lot, but I asked him: what like is this really gonna, hurt her feelings and he's like no go for it, so I did and will see what happens when she reads the book and when it comes out, but I feel like you can, you can take in your simply you could I rear siblings, hovering on family, but people who have like who are not your blood relatives. You dont have as much licence with
Well that yet in obviously, the people did not choose to be in a but the public light as you and I didn't used to be my family so that you can download here that one feels equal yeah. I cried fuck you. I got you guys and now you got me I got. Maybe our friends from the past or something hey man we met in a math class. I wanted to do be an accountant now, not a bad lay story in your book right exactly so boyfriends Fritz your point you're, absolutely right: men, which I behaved in the in the well behaved in the past. That would include men feeling, like oh, that would warrant men to feel like idle. Everyone go near that growth is gonna like ruin me on camera or minor, but a book. Yes, we are even like honest way, smaller site like kitty, driven I've known for years, because I was in the growing issues in the growing I adore her loving he's on stern. I dont want to be around her if it's just a weird but she's painted herself into like I don't
ever want to be the punchline to her stepped up right nothin, I normally. I don't mean to flatter myself that I would be budgets knowing that the whole routine is basically interactions with other people better on tv. Unlike our, why even being that's it? duration, riot and up the inner lover, and I think, she's funny and write like I'm shepperalk shelters like why'd, you have to go into the whole bit about No, she did all but about light, broke children, her mom and it's like wait, you're at their wedding, I can't feel evasive unless you're fucking call that a lot of people are not call that, while you don't really fun if you, if I drilled sue the deep and my own ego and insecurities it's also likely a status thing. They give Robert any Junior wanted to talk about me. That was embarrassing. Amulet, yes, do it. I just want the world know you'd like me, but then, if I deem the
their person to be of my status are lower than I might use. We keep that why I think a lot of people on this industry. There are two years and success and you're like are you in this last? Are you in that way? You like is their historic. Michelle Obama could tell about you that unit well, aren't you re right could be like your house, and you re, like you, know, tell it builds on many people who lives, because that means that you guys are so familiar. Brands of Michelle Obama share your pants. There. You had to wear a pair of Michel's pan out of young weren't Brock's or purple luck likely. There will be more constructive. I wanna go back to intimidation really quick, because it's not just men right, don't you think a whim are intimidated by you, but what happened was you know I was doing my show. I've been doing some version of my chauffeur for like ten years he know you'd get certain people who were like while they want to make like they say it to make sure. Please open up his way,
when he came out. I forget who the male actor was and, as I bring up his weight and though I would never do that, like of course you would do that, like you ve done it, you do yes, but when you get your coming in sea or so to speak, living room you're going to treat them negative, go often my guess, but then again I did do that too. So, like everything I'm accused of, I get it it just in a moment that kind of person, but when you look at it like, oh, I see how I came across. I am so glad you just said all that cuz. It just reminded me of the very second thing I thought when I first did your show, and it came true and I had so. I went to your show and I was like what are the easy things to make fun of about me, while my girlfriend's more famous than me- and I was there I think the first time to promote this movie, one in Rome, that Christian I both did gas and, unlike our guarantee she's gonna, make liking imply. I got the role because of Christian in fuckin aid did I dared brow, and then I came right.
over the top and was like, wouldn't your boyfriend give you this was not a good combat and how terrible like I came with there in the chamber ever. You should have that. The bed all happened in moment. I just felt this kinship to you that I think I've always felt for you just observing you from the outside, where I've thought I think you and I have had similar childhoods or something where we ve always got in the chamber, and I kind of bad for behold. The was that we would need to have one in the chamber at all time. Yeah. Well that I now it is a very it's a bad, very defence, like you know, you have this attitude like I'm not over nervous about her. I guess looking stupid, but like I've never worried about that means having a quick enough comes like, I know, nervous about like a somebody's ass. All I want to go in like peers, Morgan's and ass. I went on his show, and did you know it didn't be with him knowing he was now so knowing he disrespects women and like? Doesn't you now interrupt you, but I like that challenge, because it's fun for
it gets me fired off on somebody idea. Berkeley foiling like great I'll, be there at three then again that in itself is, is a unique characteristics. we're just fine home from San Antonio and I got new a fight with a good friend of mine, about fucking the legal system right now real hot in Monica like TAT, like kicked my foot like the abs you're, getting a little allowed for this flight bans. and then during the day and the next day we talked about, am I I I hate to admit this actually enjoy That sounds. Sometimes I get it so infrequently some surrounded by all women and I would be a fuckin monster- be yelling and stuff at them. So yet, like locking horns with this friend of mine, whose you know I kind of like that yeah I. There are a lot of people who really are conflict, avoid errors, I'm a conflict like I embrace, complex, I embrace it a lot. Last now that I've seen a proper cycle, Europe has dealt with my childhood shit, which is what my entire book is about. My therapy, I d I would use or journey
but I hate that word. So much goes about around at so many years ago, but you realize there's a reason you like complex, but there is also I hate being somebody dozens. You know stand up for something are or or like. If my two friends are enough, I like to take some kids. I was wrong and you're right. It's like. I love your verdict, ignoring your friends. What can you do to say something about person? I'm like great I'll? Do it and now, as I'm getting older, I realise, and now because I saw assuring that worked, helped me a lot. I rise. Oh it's, not your fault you don't have to tell everybody all the time what what they're doing right, who the fuck am I to help people they dont, not everybody deserves your honesty. It's like you say that for the people in there life that are very important to you. Yet yeah. I have a mantra started, which is literally something that could be shouting and my head, which is your opinions not required in Europe
not without really lucky to all the other people in the world are given by just fine when I'm not there. So why do I think, when I met its crucial, I defend this person oars unanimous voting, yeah yeah, I think mine is pretty transparent. In that I had a lot of step, dad's new people. They had a new programme that I had to follow quite often end in. I was too young to smaller to physically cable to did defend my mama. I will not be a part of your terrible plan in your bad idea, you're fucking bad judgment. I won't be a party to be taken bandit. I won't be taken Youse molested, I won't be. I will not trust you know. I won't let you fucking abuse my trust so in Israel, Austria's that you're saying this is shit that now forty four, nobody really never do we're both for our normal one month in twenty three days older than you are well aware of this kind.
She may weird, MIKE, I know said items are today, is indeed a new areas such as I do that I did not know I you know, I don't know you crunch those numbers calculator. He really last ass matters, and I was really thank you. I'm also really good speller so hit me. What does it have money though When, when, when I'm in that zone, I have a whole narrative, which is like no there's just and I am in a position to defend all these things. Definitely not what the fuel more tankers for that rights yeah. You now agreed, I think, tat. Its fills. A la cooler likened learning how to sit back and not insert yourself like, and I feel like cooler. I think also when you host to show its there's. So much do you feel there's so much instilled pressure to always insert yourself to always keep moving to make it funny to make a joke to make light of something to make fun of something to you. Nokia, unlike
that can become kinetic and I can become your way of life and if you do a shawl and your you know on for ten years, you start to be on all the time and I wanted to be off. I was like so over myself, so I think we all go through phases where we start to live, grow up a little bit more and realize, like less, is more the more I like myself, though, was of those other things are even care about, while these things that I think are pillars of what I care about magically, I really care all that much about on like on the days. I'd like myself, you know like roll with a bad driver and I can roll with a shitty fuckin personnel and all these things right exactly so.
I guess I'm I'm now realising its it's all me. If I get this thing like runnin tip top, I don't really have many problems. I can just see things were what their other person scared than a person's right. You know what does he feel much more sagacious till you're like energy as well as now, ideas again reminded us actually, Org love is the first line even remember Gollop toward us called, or as I do that we let me should maybe keep a list of non already. Writing it all down outside wait. One thing I think the interesting thing is the person who really the power is the one that knows there being taken advantage of quote taken a band of and not care like Kristen, Belle Year always like knows, oh that person thinks there doing this, but I dont care because I'm better than that really so like to not caring to not fight back is act. You actually have more power is gonna aspiration.
oh yeah yeah. She is yeah yeah sure I listened to your interview, months, driving up to Lake Bass and the one that you did with Christine. You are happy to get married. I will do ass. I thought it was very brave that you got out and that you didn't care that everyone heard you guys just bickering for an hour, basically want to control free guy. Wasn't I mean I think that kind of like I you know, I think that's important. I mean it's also good for people to cure, because everybody thinks that there are only things or how to them and their life. You now to me, and its related or even worse, that, like, if you're going to bump into somebody and they're your missing piece and then that'll be like you'll just now be on a honeymoon for the next twenty years like even this thing you guys think is so cute is like a ton of fucking work.
We don't wake up in the mood to discuss along all that happens, maybe one in twenty day. Summers: anatomy not for you to do the Samson commercial and then not right, balance that now right number but back to child, because the other fun thing not only are we born within you notice, mere days of each other. You there was only used car lot. Lot is exaggeration. Ok, I like a driveway, and there was the driveway in front of our house, so I don't think he really that he fancied himself a used car dealer, but like they didn't, there was a lot of turnover. Come in and then just be there, but there wasn't a lot of selling resembles a lotta collage orders he loved finding a good deal where he was certain he could bear is clear, but but my dad's old cars, my whole life that that the kind of education I got from him about the world, I think, was dramatically shaped by the facts
He had that job. He ass slick, you're, saying yes, we are in the EU, is my diving shyster will here's he was dishonest avant what were at here's? What I was given. The way I was going to address it up was my dad's. Only moral imperative was make money like that Was the moral imperative like fuckin make money, and then your set that's what life's about so by hook or by crook, whatever you gotta do just fuck make that money, and I wondered if that was kind of synonymous and dim used car game yeah, they give you a used car dealers. Things packages didn't work out. The way you thought they were going to. has no one grows up and says I want to sell used car giving. Maybe you want to sell cars, but you you don't set out to sell, used ones, rocky. Now, that's not a goal, although that is where the problem is by. The way I do is, I might add to your like. Is this really your passion or did medical school not work out, because who really wants to go into somebody mouth and clean out a cavity that can't be like what drives you? It's it's a responsible career and it's a good career choice, because you can make money, but is it
it just feels so yeah or an unintended section like a fall back to all the dentist out there. I just wanna know we want you to know how much I appreciate all I've already got trouble because we talk about how much they commit suicide and that you know tat. You are a very high rate, I'm in trouble with the veterinary committee. Be all community great. Thank you. Would you do well, I guess I will be in trouble because the books now you have, but I talk a lot in the books about cub. That's really just don't have any like great information for you. You know every time you rescue dog, that between four and all. Well, big margin of error, or they they say? Oh, we have, she has an infection and we're gonna remove Oliver teeth, and then you they will. Why would you remove all of their teeth like a game and she's gonna have to chew? Can't we keep some of them like, and the woman on the farm she's like well, of the ones that are infected, am I right so what
are not all. In fact, that is what will see when we get it we might take. You might want to my own for conducting get about it. You will see what we gonna mouth workers over will put him through better, no more, no pretty certain right? My my I have a separate but but adjacent pet peeve witches. In luck. I can be a bigger proponent of rescuing dog. I think its awesome. My wife is rescue two trillion dogs, but every fucking person who I mean who is rescued dog? It's always. Yes, she was being abused. Every single persons, rescue dog was abuse, and I just I just want to know
functionally? How would you know that information back to where you observing the dog per in its last home? I was as even now the dogs tell them that. Apparently the dogs tell them, but it does seem that about ninety percent of people, rescue dogs. They were, they stay, rescued them from an abusive relationship yeah, because what people do is they turn their dogs in and say, hey, I'm abusing this John, but did dad have a world view that that you could maybe some up for me. As you know, my dad, France, it my diagnoses dollar. Now he died last year actually a few months ago. Actually he was old and he needed to die like his was like there's no quality of life in a whole day. Charm- and I mean I'm glad, he's gone because that was no way to live, and you know you don't want to remember people at their worst. You remember them at their best and my mom had a long, slow death, so that wasn't. I While she was really set. My dad wasn't. He just was in a home like you know, but my his philosophy, I mean he was dishonest. He was kind of a man
with himself like he thought a highly of himself. He loved that he had so many children, because it man, he was you know masculine, and he was very kind of. You is a little chauvinist stick, but he was like filled with a lot of them. We had a really great time growing out, there's a lot of drama and trauma, because my brother died when I was a little girl, so that was bad, but my dad really never recovered from now. After might rather died, he just kind of lost his you're such a fund. Yes, because, like the couple things I want to bring up, is like yeah at nine. What is that like, when your brother dies and one is that due to the whole family and then I'm thinking like all venture to tiptoe around the news I peered is, but which I applaud, and I love about you, but but I guess it ass. I watched a few minutes of your marriage. Ackerman are I had watched the drugs one long time ago? I loved it. It's so so good by the way, a link here and watch them. Urge one just today and I watched dad walk in the kitchen and you like high, is that you he says, is that you
That's me and then Ngos, I love you and then I miss you to me. I heard like guilt gear guilty or not around, and now I got something like dad would have. It would have been like I love you, but then there would have been just one word without. I knew what man which was you're not around enough and then was mom the love, your life and then many won't cop today Ray and I was like theirs, much happening within four sentences of this interaction. That, for me fills familiar. Camera like mama was Mama. Life is like love. Nor did she die like every day your dog you like my mother and reader and and then we ask in the car some straight out and is like an hour not sure she is the love of my life. I mean that was why my doubts really my dad, you know I can't commit intentionally wanted to marry a non american Anjou could show you wanted to chicks are because my grandma
there was, like you know, a mean jewish batch and childlike listen and his his father was like. Listen, don't marry one of these jewish woman, they're gonna drive you not very gentle, and I grew up thinking. My mom was jewish for the first ten years of my life. I learn that she was it until my dear other died in they had to bury him in a jewish cemetery and then than the whole family has to get plots or whatever. And what was fields me that my mother was Mormon at that time. Germany know there's a big Mormon contingency in Germany, so I found out. She was more than I do know. Mormon was, and then you know that wasn't something that I was gonna be interested in even at night changes, but obviously put that on the back burner when she marry your father and mother like after the war, and now I mean long after the war, Butler nineteen. Fifty eight it was its ethical is this. It was a sensitive, so Jack for a jewish, arduous jewish guide and marry her. So she said he I will raise all the kids jewish, no problem once more
other died. She was I fuck this I'm going back to my religion and she became and she converted my sister to become more minutes. Well, oh really, did she tried to comfort you yeah? They had me read the book a moment and then I just was like this is so stupid right. This is not How I want to live my life, excepting Judas. Numerically, those Jesus was born in the United States. Now I didn't notice translation Mormons, but that is one of the more amusing aspects or in Missouri. Did you read no the banner Heaven I didn't mean that, but I wonder about work. You know he's receiving Joseph's miss receiving a lot. Revelations from God and he will the dispersed them to the prisoners as they come in and he started leap of many members of the group that follow him and now some of the key. The revelations specifically about his wife is, God, said to me last night, Mary stay out of my best
they start believing like many of the early revelations acted directly at his wife, basically saying, but I d just stay out of his business. Let mandolin any who that's communicative, pretty juicy when I was watching dad- and I was thinking- oh he do- you know he got away. from Germany in this it is a technique for some men to kind of withhold approval, withhold affection, withhold these things too. Maybe keep self esteem a little low because you don't think you're worthy of this. So maybe if that person feel shitty or about themselves, I look good Harrison. I'm reading a lot into, but when I heard maybe not love my life, I do so. I thought. Oh, that's a technique. Yeah that was weird for me to hear, took my dad will go on and on about my mom, like our whole lives and even after she died. So when he did say that in that interview was like what he talking about Will you point out what that was about? I bought my dad.
We use very manipulate like he wasn't and I don't like the way he conducted himself. You an honest. He wasn't fair, he would people were regionalized in his life, like you know, if we had a guy working at the house, you know the guy. Would you waiting so to be paid, saves, doing, yard work and my dad black. If you want somebody who can knock on the door and like other guys, you know like that shit that made me sick growing up and I was like I don't ever want to be AIDS, honest or cheat or lie. You know what I mean like. I want to be a and I wanted to be independent, so I never had to rely on a man, because that was my father, and that was what men look like, and the issue was at. My brother died when he was nine and swore to me like on our last night. You know that he was coming back
and he knew and he's, and I will never leave you with these crazy people referring to my parents. He was the oldest and I was the youngest, so we were bookends intersects of you yet, and so he was like my first crush, demonic, genuine hiking in the granting of loans and Jackson, oh yeah, and then he fell off a cliff form that was pretty brutal ever and until I met this psychiatry too actually interviewed on my Netflix show that for an apple but unlike early edges, patient and adolescent brain development, he explained to me that, like you know one something like that happens when your nine years old you, you get stuck you're stunted from that age, because you have to wrap yourself up, so you don't feel the pain my father fell apart. My mother fell apart. Everyone just retreated Is there on corners and until somebody said you
as a nine year old, you, U Digestive, that as rejection, he rejected you. He went off and found another family or he cared about something more than you yeah value. This trip weirdly more than you really wasn't careful carefully. Tommy's gonna go back. Me lie to me so my nine year old head that was, oh, you can ever man, they will always lie to you, even though I was like it so obvious, but yet until you do that work in my kind of talk just he's a professional and studies that I didn't realize. I was like a nine year old with regard to any man so back to what we're talking about beginning how men or fuckin scared me: I'm fuckin cared about a hundred percent, so its rejection before you get rejected, which is obviously like class, whatever you know typical textbook behavior, but it helps to hear it from some that has nothing to do with your life because I didn't uniformly. I never wanted to go to therapy and really dig it up, because I have a thought I was too smart. I might that's not. I know my brother died. I know I have problems, but whatever it's worth I'm strong, you know I've got my
shit together, I've I've got a career. I've got everything I wanted in my life, my friends, my family blah blah blah, and it is cliche especial. you know tat forty and offsetting go what the fuck is going on. Why my acting like this, but it was a worthwhile to like actually have a profession all that Europe. Paying due note. I, like that exchange burden, people with my problems. I want somebody to get money for LISA, so that was it is. What you're saying we do have a lot in common, because it's about unearthing that and sang like ok now you know a year of like really hard core therapy and I was like ok now I need a break. I got it. I got my problem now I now I need to retreat, understand everything. I've learned and changed my behavior so that it's not as in face and not, as is like nail scratch, a and b softer, more gentler and actually like look to find somebody in this life. Yes, I do want to buy from its
k to say that I could see was embarrassing to say I want a boyfriend arrive. I dont want kids. I still don't want that not embarrassed by that I mean. I know that I just started to use my time, but it's ok to admit that you want to be in a relationship and before that was just like that. To me wreaked of weakness,
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rob but give you have all this shit in your in pain and discomfort and agony who gives a flying fuck. Both many people are like. Well, you know money. Money can buy your happiness in the cycle. Fuckin helps ok life with a shitty Bunyan. How does your mood I mean and I'm not a depressive. I've never had depression. So me no knock on. Would I like it now? That's a serious issue that I am grateful that I dont have so it's hard to recognise what you're issues are, and so you stop spinning so fast, for me, it was just move, move, move, work, work, work, work do towards. You showed you cut a book do this today and that the empty the emptiness became everything just be I'm so fast, and I was missing my own shit. You know, and it wasn't until really like until the election, that I really freaked me out and sank. Really fuck me so hard, and when I went to go talk to a professional about my outrage that I felt name was like ok, this outrage, yes Donald Trump, awful and Reno
not by our president, but this is so deep. This is an inside job. When I learned that my outrage, he doesn't have to effect my mood. He doesn't have the ruined my life. I have deeper issues that I need to. You know also owning the fact that, like you're giving permission for that person to have that effect on you Finally, I lost a year of my I mean I gained a year of my life in a sense, but I lost a year of my life because I couldn't even work. I couldn't do anything but watch the news and what that represented to me was my childhood being out of control because, like the world's a good play we are in America, the adults will take care of the political staff and you just have to keep crashing our tracks the hereditary. Now it I didn't realize, like. Oh I'm, not really looking outside of my online, I'm not thinking about what it's like to be. You know a marginalized.
Cinemas worlds, I'm a woman, but on why you know I'm successive year on pay. I got rewarded for bad behaviour. My entire career, talking about guys sleeping around writing books about sleeping rhyming, everything I did was rewarded and why? Because I'm Let's do you know what I mean, I'm just fucking lucky that year Mitya got a horse. You at last back some mom. So did details like Therapy That's ok, there's a girl out, though they I'm really interesting, fuckin motorcycles and like talking about better, unless you in writing, I support you couldn't have been like superstar mom was who she was. If you are aspiring to be a very vocal knew. No self advocate and mom, as you would learn, drops her religion. All these things were was she
a little bit of a disappointment and who you would have wanted her to be. My mom just was like very different from me. You know she was very like shy and soft spoken. She wasn't she didn't understand were like how she even gave birth to me. You know we're total opposite unlike a lot more. Like my dad, like you are right, saying yourself, so my mom was just I wasn't disappoint I mean I was disappointed in her and many It is because she never would show up. You know they never pick me up from school, the air he were school. They would think leave me for hours. They did that's all of my brothers and sisters who was like I was special in that regard, but you also Somerset Yeahs also ledges acknowledge what a life she each. If she came here and fifty eight zero or Europe during World WAR. To re ass I mean what a fight like if she just ended up somewhere. That was had heed the aid in all that bad lies, there's nothing. I was giving up a chance to be a doctor and a great countries like fuck you.
just landed somewhere where someone would like there was a house, that's a big victory, so I'm not judging at all. You can judge my mom, I don't give a shit, I mean I it's not. I mean you know you. I don't judge her and now I like what you want your parents to be someone you want to aspire to be won my weirdest resentments about my dad is that I wanted him be a guy. I was trying to be like, and then I wanted that guy Why idolized look at me and say you did it man, I'm proud of you, I'm going to hand this torch to you, I mean what a bizarre, never resentment. He did say I'm proud of you, but I wanted it to come from a person. I respected. That's right. I know that I had that failure. When my dad, I was very interested in pressing my father and having my father understand like that, I was powerful and that I was strong. My mom just represent. It's me, not a strong woman like she wasn't on the deed in that for our house growing up. She never made the decisions. It was always my dad that was the boss and I dont want like
to me. It was like. Ok, I had two examples I mean I have to other brothers, but their veto. My two biggest attachment figures were my father and my brother, and both of them took off right. So my father was basically there, but it would have been better had he harshly whimsically didn't get because he was just wrecked, and you know think when a man this is their first born child of actually a son. I think that's a real you don't get over at me ever yeah. Indeed think he any level had had a sign, some responsibilities that that, obviously he doesn't deserve, did they but heads, and was your brother doing that as a fuck? You I'm not going to be like you and I'm going to go to this thing. Was he on some level of wear of like all this all was in retaliation of me and look where it lead? My brother was or was it like that, my boy
they play ball with my dad. He was like the second dad and our family. It's my other brothers are really rebelled and like men, when we like, he was the proper like the good son. You know I mean you so when he died, it was like you almost felt no God did they wish it was one of us in my. I definitely was like they probably want me to be gone. You now you- and I think everyone probably had. That is your kid. You don't know any better. You know choosing whose dying, obviously, but it's just a it's a buck job. What you know death agony, it is agony and hits you and you can not it's. You know you can't you could we went through. It is literally through it all round it because it creeps back up on you like any of our issues from our childhood. So you know, I'm glad now that I have the ability and the vocabulary to articulate my pain instead of just pretending that everything's fine and getting through it with somebody again who I'm paying too.
right right. You know not a boyfriend. Our friends like shut the fuck up, are you didn't like give me a hundred bucks when you leave? If I meant, if we all feel a leaner areas agonized, so as a result of this child had what? What kind of kid are you in high school, because I saw a picture of you, I guess it was in that in that pursued to, whereas I I knew that girl here. Any more detail. I will her hair is focused on point hairs, break the law, He's a box, and it also looks like this is going to be a party of butter like you're, a party, probably in a red eyes, a party and eight I actually I was I ended up leaving I went to high school in in Somerville. New Jersey live with one of my brothers for years. After my
The time I thought my relations with my father just went haywire. I live and then I you know I was nine and then I was you know twelve and then I wanted to. I couldn't take it. You know grub really fast. I mean I didn't. I just didn't have any respect for authority when I was growing up because they my authority figures like as I've, said we're just not reliable. No one was reliable, so I was like this is. to me I've got to make life for myself. I was like yeah twelve hours like I'm leaving, I'm gonna go live with Glenn my brother, who was away at business trips all the time, and I lived in a condom with him and I started dating this football player. I got pregnant. I was half luck in disaster, not one hour. twelve, but I know I gonna sixteen. I was a fucking disaster and my put my parents through hell- and you know, and I mean my brothers and sisters to this day or, like I can't really they survived as long as they did with you, because I just had no respect for them. Do, you think you are punishing them as punishing mice? Yes, I think I was. I didn't want my
I was embarrassed about my family, but what I really was was in pain about my brother, but I couldn't talk about my brother because everyone else was falling apart and I never cried in front of anyone. Like fifteen years. I cried about my brother. I had to go outside gone my bike and I go for a long ride and if any one of my family so anything about my brother I'd leave, the house are like I'm not gonna be weak. Like you people I dunno, I saw my dad crumble and cry every day like you'd walked by their bedroom and they'd, be like bawling together in the morning, and I'd be like these. Bastards, when are they gonna get their shit together like yourself to yeah? I need you, I need by the way. Are we on the dry? Look up, in fact in the aspirate now for a second, and so Until you say those things out loud with someone, you don't you forget them when somebody talks to you and has a time that you put in like you might, my psychiatrist is like this: is your mental, Jim and what you think of this is cause, I'm so into being physically strong that I want to be mentally strong as the two go together and once he said, this is like your mental jam,
I would cite ok. I'm committed, like I get down analogy tricks that it takes a long time to understand that it takes a long time so like to understand the vote. mobility is like strength now, like Bawler fuckin averted, May a million great interviews on Howard Stern, but the one that was blue my mind, the most Jason Alice who's got a zone shall an exam we went uncertain died what his father molested him his whole life and he still loves his dad and this adieu the shaped aid who fights em may tattoos everywhere ex post gay border in for an hour and a half, so the airlines talk about that in went through the whole thing. Never have I seen something is brave. I mean that, as I jump in the Grand Canyon to bail days, that does he started a relationship with them yet thing. It's a bizarre know. His father ultimately died competing other brother hiking up a mountain. They couldn't accept that he was sixty five.
Early gave blues hard up trying to like prove he could be just as fast, but when I heard him say that I was like. Oh that's. What are real bad ass is. That's like that's! That's fucking John Wayne due to go out in public and say yeah, my dad in that blows my mind. I dont unjust, Yeah, I don't understand. How could I how you could want a relationship with somebody violated you flat. I don't know, but I you know again like we. None of us know what the fuck that's like. Unless it happens to you know, and so it it's just so you know you. You know it's easy for us to give advice to other people or be like. How could you talk to that person and we d Now what everybody story is the yeah, but the headline is to me more like, while look at the power of that familiar
a bomb that we desire like that. If union a case study of how much we need that here's, a guy who's abuse forever, who still desiring that, while we shit, we need that thing, David, Thomas, a good job, I says you're a little. Can you think your dad Superman grow up and realize you just now so wearing a cape? Always unlike a yak, as you know, we grab and we find out it's like meeting somebody. You really admire and then mortally disappointing, yeah yeah yeah. That's it that's the generally used high percentage. That'll happen. I happens a lot, but so were you able to join Wilson balls were you like I'm talkin to you. Can you can go to your balls? Where were you able to also like maintain ok grades? stuff while you are still being
we got by, I mean I wasn't doing well and I definitely lost a year of credit for school and might I junior year of high school. So then I had to go back to Livingston New Jersey, where I was from with my parents. My parents like ok, you can't live with line. You just lost a crap. I never went to school. I just took my brother's car drills around town followed smoking. We sure you know. I was really drinking that at that age by then. How long were you when you had sex the first time, young, six fifteen forty importing the ok, I think of my first year of high school and I wanted to make sure everybody. I had arrived Sharma now, but I had an older boy friend that wasn't in the high school and I when I was fourteen and he was a lawyer ii- was the way it was Paul Manifold now high. I guy got Thou hast, my Virginia when I was young but again like complain that on any person man I blame it on. You know I wanted older boy front. I wanted to get serious about where my life was headed. When I was done with my family, because my huh
The thing was like get away for my family slackened. My life can begin sure, and then you know I was away from my family. I realise how much I love them and they were ever was trying to do the best that they could. It mean, maybe not the best that we try to get by on the minimal your good intentions. Execution was my anger with bated breath greatly when I, when I was able to just moved it a foreigner and then I and then I was like oh yeah. My film is not so bad you all these fuckin nut case here and yemeni people don't even talk to their relatives that I was like. I want to be like that. That's not my goal, but bringing graduated. So anyway, I'm going back to living since I had to go to this thing called alternative schools when o complete two years for liking criminals to years of education, and once I finished my junior and senior year in one year to graduate on time- and then I high tells it out to elect, could use moves ziggurat. So that's war, another guy smoke cigarettes at that good could other students, because my
my best friend air week we had he went on alternative. I score. I think one of the ways that they like got they realize like. Why have the reason these gets? Even if it was just one, is more execrate, so you could fucking smoke cigarettes in the classroom. Now we can smoke cigarettes, that's out Kennedy. I regret I kind of embraces all the old progress you towards linking rapidly like. That is a good idea for people like Taiwan can a graduate may ass. They should be in our region not to get him to. Let us not kill darts. You asked a baby arrogance or each other's eyes. They like grab some of that that information, but so when you looked around at your classmates at the alternative high school, were you embarrassing? That's where you ended up. Are you? I don't want anything to do with any those people. I was like a capitalism. Is I'm not I'm? Not energy are actually my boy. Acta Sean was his name. The black nine then I got pregnant with. I was
hung out with him in New Jersey. Were my brother lives, so we got it. We got arrested a couple times when I was he got arrested. I never got to us because on white and he was black and then he got arrested three times and he had a full scholarship to you and I'll be or one of those best most schools, I think, was Univee yeah and his whole life. We know derailed. So I actually reunited like possession charges. Yea like you got you. It is commonly agreed and many was put in the system and that it was caught with we'd again minor uses China like he wasn't a bad guy. He just got you know who they were looking for him to fuck up and people are looking for. You know why, because every time we were together and we got arrested or he got arrested, they told me I was there like you can go get out of here and then they would arrest her own like. So
I just did a document for Netflix on my privilege and we went and met him tell touch on you haven't seen since I was sixteen and forty edged term, forty four, so that was fuckin we're on camera, which is so I was like. Oh my god, my vagina herds just like thinking about how to notice. I why it was just. I didn't want to do great, but I knew I had to further like the film honey hold up, looks wives while he spent the next fourteen years incarcerated. Today is only banana jail for three years, almost got by different children with five different, my men and he's not feeling drugs anymore so yeah so anyway, the document was all my privilege where you know, and we and I was like ok and so that they became a very personal story where I was just can explore the topic of Wakefield Regency like TAT, we went to the south, of course, and talk to people we and the thing about why privileges by people. Don't want to talk about it because you know, and it's our problem- it's not like. We can expect people of color to fix our privilege. We have to fix it. It was an interesting subject matter, but a ended up. Getting very poor
small and then I was like. Oh my god. Why do I keep having to fuckin see my ex boyfriend on camera? I keep doing these documentaries where the darkness, like you, know the interesting and, unlike I dont, have any other boyfriends. We're really does Jamaica. Stop leave me alone leave me alone around a certain point. These new question like war. Clearly I manifestly mess that, like yeah, I'm pretty much out for anything it as long as it is on camera like I will there are things I will do on camera that I wanted to private a legacy. There's a camera there and I think it's a learning experience that it can like and that a million other people you know, might have this like I Alaska. I was happy to do on camera because I know people are so curious about that measure. So it's it's me. I was really bomb, but you didn't yourself or throw la. I now are you? Are you not? I throw you did my showmanship himself like three times and in other words about all fucking
like share of all in Prague. My guy, like this little like like tents in Peru and like I can't even get out of here, cause his second Anna condors everywhere. I don't think of myself as Bremer down about when I was watching that episode. Unlike the same we have to do, I was so curious. You know, of course I can't, but I would, if I were a lot of people, do it to get sober like ever that yeah. But I guess let's look, I'm I'm I'm I'm favor of four. However, people get so wrapped up regardless, I do wish I had done. I ask because I one of done everything I wanted or as before I leave so I watched the episode with great curiosity, and I was God bless you, because the first warning is your likely to shape Europe. Now, let's back up when you go into that fucking tat like I want nothing, that's right! It's not like. I live at the four seasons, but I'm like just knowing that this communal area, where most people shit themselves, I dont, want to be in there at all
already having so much anxiety just setting were you at all gone? Ok. So this is where the Tsar Gonna go down and autonomy. it's right over there. I am assuming the previous users of the toilet, weren't like in a gray space when they used it. Do you have any of that stuff, I'm not into being in Peru General, like too many times actually had been there three to two or three times in two or three too many divining enamored sums have actually been there, but I think once get into the like once I know what I'm doing like I'm open anything I like to be. You know out of my comfort zone, that's where an uncomfortable when I dont know what the fuck is happening whenever things produced and planned is one I don't like it. I dont like sticking to a script. I dont like pre production. I dont like talking about things ad nauseam. I like things to be com to, unlike so that kind of gets my juices following what you gotta get into survival mode right, yeah, don't make great jokes during massages up, it's like they re adds dying out of our rate, one right, yeah yeah
go in there. I mean I'm not really good like shit, so I was hoping that that would happen, and it did. I don't care about vomit. I can deal with that vacuum in. Like did you know like this shit makes me nauseous want, so he was sitting in front of me
we're closed and eyes like just don't open your eyes, open all the issues still shooting and is now now yea Pantheon, a friend of ours recently reached out to mistake. I saw you, I was caught up, so they can weaken. We is there any way we can hook up with that. Can you get that information of the chairman and fruit and applaud? You stayed and Nausicaa listen back. I have spent entire time anyway. No because no one was in that room. It makes up my camera woman Nickolay, who knows because the smell was out of it, but I tell you I was just like I was I was in the moment and I had a great experience and I didn't really do the clans before they tell you not to drink for two weeks, not eat certain foods, and I think they were about that because I didn't you didn't tell me the first night at all, and so I had to do two nights in a row and then the second time gave me a double dosage and that's what
all happen. But I was in my mode and as I just take everything you can get out of this moment and don't pay attention to the fact that he should all right all right him ruin your fuckin permitting download some guy Fitness parent, like God forbid it doesn't work again. I have to come back here to Morrow. I might get into it. So if you good so the first night, it just didn't work, but it was working for other people. I Jenny was working for Jenny, Jenny injure down my friend Dan did it with me and they had crazy, vomiting shitting. They were like crying. Both of them are bawling. Both were like overcome overcome with love. For you know, if you're married, your wife, children, your children. For me it was my sister and I was just it's like this phantom asthma. Sorry won't use another word like that.
No, no, no you suppose you were going to. Let me live Jasmin area. Ok, it's like an ipod, fast chapel of you. As a kid. You see all these memories of yourself and every all of us had the same child. Like thing, you see yourself as a kid but you're, not in your body, you're above your body, and you see like scenes playing out from your childhood and fast like fast forward motion like an ipod all right and it would just switch gear, and it would go to me my system and are somehow Martha's vineyard on on the water laughing. You know running on the each holding hands or dogs that we had as a child that I didn't remember there were. You know that were there like us, oh my god, I forgot about that dog. They were all real thing and they are all positive yeah. I didn't have anything negative. It was all positive
A brochure was can be with my dead mom rather eyes like I could get ready or snakes I've a huge phobia of snakes, and we were in the fuckin jungle de while you're watching your life virtually flash before your eyes, your overcome with the connected newness with the people in I've or are you israeli euphoria, zero body buzz like what's what's physiologically like you're? Very everything feels guy positive light. In my experience more Ivan overcome with her Venus and love towards someone or something, and then you wanna, like I was like. Oh I have to be nicer to my sister, like my sister is, is not me, I keep em so
demanding of her. Like always I pushing her, did you more? Did you know the experience life to leave New Jersey and it was just an epiphany? It was like she doesn't want to fucking live in airlines. You she doesn't need attention, you you do. She doesn't need this life, you need it. So it was a big epiphany in that sense. So that was the thing you walked away with yeah. Does it last few hours while and then I had this voice? So there's is it's like somebody's like telling you something and then at the very and that like it would switch gears, and it said there was this voice in my head saying you everything doesn't you'd have to surrender selfish many people time. You could be alone their safety and being alone. You can find joy by yourself and all I was thinking at that moment, but I just want to go downstairs, he's my crew and have a drink. What just happened I read about the sister parliament got on. Abortion does have its like fucking nuts, and then I thought I was out. Ok, I could lie here and I could experience this and or I could you know
go down and share it and, like I just want to go be with my friends, and so I went downstairs and I was like. I love it, I would happen, but it was it was when I watched it back. I was like. Oh, my god is. I looked so peaceful and I'm crying and I'm but their tears of joy overcome, you want to love someone so much. That's how you feel year, two dots during their one. Can you imagine the level of self esteem one would have to have to shit their pants and stay seated. Instead, you, I can't imagine feeling that confident that I could just have full shit. My pants be humiliated and running away like Irene, We admire I've, got a lot of practice mats alive when people and a and b I think he was so fucking high out of his mind. What I took one of his hook. Three herbal ok and I dont know that he found out about it. suspicion and delayed our moaning guy. I work yes, I may mention applaud in that much.
My second thing I heard that I was like all that so Misa, while something's happening, I will almost shift gears into no longer experience in it and I'm already transfer into her tell it to you. I'm gonna include right or who I'm goin to the story. I yeah, I guess just retainer or get some approval for I know now but eyes. I have often kind of like amidst the tail end of experiences of already shifting here's that now I'm gonna yeah I'll be sharing this book. I just read: Coda centralism, it's real God. You should read it to its about doing tooth. Really well, instead of trying to do eight things mediocre, you know, and I respond to that casino in this business. You're. Always China, like move around Do this year, reproduction company, any of this company- and you do this and you have a weed line whatever like it's just so much, and then the secretary of the work is so at elevated when you really focus on like this book. I just wrote in this document has shot like these, where that this first my life I'd have
running around with my head between my legs actually sat down and was like you know what I have did you say now, I'm gonna write another book. I dont want to write a book until I had something that was that was MIDI or that heads that had some boots. I don't want to just be silly and cash a chair right. I wanted to say something, and so for me I that's a big lesson, because we're always so busy- and we always want to say yes and show up for people and there's awaited- should be better to yourself. Well, scientifically proven that the multitasking as a fallacy that there is now nobody's doing you're just doing many things worse, yeah, it's not it doesnt wrong. They ve done a trillion different studies and you just everything, just slides downhill better to be fine, two things that you want to excel at or three things or whatever your number. As you know for me, like I want to be an incredible skeer, I've
love skiing. I love it so much and I just want to be the best at at least not the best part Skeer, but I want to be here to get done. Anything can never be scared of a mountain in my long wondered the stone. While I started getting really into skiing about seven or eight years ago, grub skiing- but I was ever like great at it and I'm still not, but Y got her. I've taught me a sale skiing in Switzerland, and I, after that I was so trepidation. On the mountain before I was fearless, and I could do anything at all I hurt myself. I was so scared and I remember ski guide. I gotTA with Serbia with my family for Christmas, and one of my ski guides was like union either. You really scared now ha and I and when he said that I was like a fuck, you asshole, no four, and I made sure that I am no longer scare, because I you know that's the last thing again: here's where your character defect held you again like that to be weak fuck that that will do anything other than the rash and needs a rational to be scared after you had an injury, its normal embedded, something about a man telling you,
look scare like flipped my sweatshops, like o Reilly, you, mother, Fucker, like it. Let me show you so it is hard to hate like baby. Oh god, I wish I was in an attic and then I'm like half the other side of the attic coin is like everything is good about me. Like I compulsively think about everything I figured that's. Why I'm a good writer? That's why I'll be no You can't just like we should all the weggs is also like the best stuff right. You ve guy. You aren't you like leniency yourself and not be like out. You know, and what do you reckon as an identify. Why you're doing something or what the issue is you don't even nice to know like? Oh okay, you know when sometimes you're short with people or you're you're in a bad when it's like okay, you're, tired, you know what I mean like recognize. Instead of blaming the person you're talking to going a shit. This is me I'm in a bad mood. I didn't get enough sleep.
I'm running around ragged urea, your fault, but yes, it's up to us to be like. Ok, recognise your patterns of behaviour and just go or a child with a fucking need so much hotter not to be fuckin frenetic. Yes, yes, Eighteen, air, We are brought to you by Hallo. Fresh now is the point of the episode where Monarch and I try to get you to salivate. Yes, salad, eight, say hello, vague well, I had this chicken sausage Joe malay, polonaise, about to tap pasta and, however, sometimes includes that had passed and other things, and it's always so good, it's better than other past boon yeah. and it has zucchini in part, was so good. Why do we want to hear what I tore through? Of course, oh, I got nuts and some maple
mustard glazed pork chops with roasted potatoes. In a cranberries sale of yeah. I love cranberries in assail, admire remind you, have Thanksgiving yet has hello, precious three plans to choose from classic veggie in family. You can prepare the meals in thirty minutes max for eighty dollars off your first month of hello, fresh gotta, hallo, fresh dotcom, Slash Dax Eighty and enter promo code. Dax- eighty- that's eighty l, L, o, F r e as age, dot, com, Slash Dax Eighty and enter promo code Dax. Eighty, How do you feel about money? And I get you like it- I like having it. Do you
Well, like I I would say, was fetish eyes to my house. We were broken my mom sort of business and start working and think she worked her fuck and ass. Often I'm obsessed with it. I don't think, there's amount I could have where it would be fair I'm not gonna, have some. When I get older, are you fearful that, like it did you worry about it alive? You were their money is going to go away. There isn't an amount. You could give me that I think I would feel safe just because I dont have a great relationship with it, but I was just wondering what your relationship with it was because you work you're fucking ass off. I remember one doing your show and I said like what you do this weekend in your like. Oh I had two shows within. I saw that so I added a show and then blah blah blah blah blah, and I was like I needed for shows, and then I know how much time this fucking show takes up, and I just told myself this person
that money or ideal would be hours or me there's down yeah, meaning. That's the thing with this into a business is, like you, hit a new start to get things and offers, and you don't want to say no to anything you want at all, and you know now. I, like you know, for instance, for this book tour twenties city bookstore, which for me is and is nothing because we're not all were only adding shows into like three market. You know if I'm lucky enough to sell them out there would then we can add chosen these markets, but I'm not doing that to myself again, I'm not going to to burn my son to the ground because the quality decreases. You know by the time. I ended up doing this by the time I ended stand. I did stand up last time. I did my book for which was like for four years ago or five years ago. Were you in his hand and for years away, and I dont think I have no desire to really ever do it again. Really I just don't, have I don't like it? Anything to say understand a brown. You know, and I burned myself out so my point was: I just: did it too much to the point
like I was wanting to walk off the stage more than I wanted to be a mistake. I was happy or when the show was over rose and a happier being on stage. That was never you know. Even with my talk shows, I was always happy when the product was done and it was a concrete and we are putting it out there and where the process right out, I logged in a lot of people who are true. You know, artists, love the process more than they love good way you're. So I, like, I think, all the nice things that came with it back to your money. Question like there was so much that came with it. Then I realized this is that you know this is a good ticket, but I bet now in every possible way, but again if, if the pattern in life is like, I need the result, because I am basically proving people wrong at all times. So I need the result. I need the piece of paper. I need this rating. I need this thing, then it can't really be about process like I I agree with you and I relate you cause. I see other people, my all, that person is genuinely
gloves doing that and brought them to hear on access to all the other shit Irma Bradley Cooper- and I have been really good friends for fourteen years and we would talk about money in the way. I was. What would you get for that movie and will you should have got this right? and I'm obsessed with what he should a God. He never once gave a talk about money ever not once but firm for at my forego and live to. Is this is aspiring to just love the process and not give a fuck about the rear, alter the product yeah anything right for the integrity of the work? It's like the ascent, because I'm thank you know it's like now. You know writing this book was the first time I've written a book. I mean maybe my first book I enjoyed right because it was a new thing and I loved it in the name of the new life will be the death of me. Life will be the death and you too, but I had this being able to focus on something made the price I like. I just recorder, my audio block. This is something I hate and activity. I fucking hate, sitting booth listening to my own voice, having to say sentences is perfectly and I went in there-
banks it out in like three days like four hours a day, and I cry I mean the books. You know talks a lot about that. So there's a lot of that in their voters and I cried and I laughed, and it was a most enjoyable process. I've ever had stuck with myself in an audio booth, because it's a different story sure now, because I'm not Rita running Hannah was to be not delivering a product for a paycheck. I actually wanted to write it instead of being offered a bunch of money to do something and then delivering you know yea India, like I, will give you this book deal for how much money in your life- I guess I gotta run and other work. We do you have to read and write you don't actually right, in other words to doubt the I'd anything until you have something a fucking say: yeah, do you, when you are saying that it reminded me so my dad died of cancer and am after it.
It's over like two or three months after the fact I was like I'm having a really hard time connecting with what happened in the weirdest way. It's like. I know it happened. I was there every step of the way, but I'm not getting the like feeling I was expecting. This is like me protecting myself a robust, so I was like I need to write about it, so I wrote I told christen, like I'm gonna for a couple days. I'm just gonna write about so I wrote this thing when I was not. Why I was writing it. But when I finish writing it in I read it. Ice got crazy emotional and I like was able to experience it through reading. It was the weirdest thing, but I wonder if other people have that I mean I I saw. I will just put a lot of different places around the world, because I just that my friend runs the world surfing laid this woman.
That's a really good friend of mine, and so you just hopscotch with her wherever Bali, Barbara. I just united share anything that I was writing with her, but I wrote it in all these different places and are being airports. I'm falling writing about my brother dying. What happened in my family or my mom dying and and you're sitting there, and it's just there is a catharsis to it that you understand. Like I get writing now. I get why people right why it's important to go home and you know if you ve, had something happens to write it down like my dog died. Suddenly you know a few like last year and I just went straight to my hotel room and just wrote everything down about it. Like don't forget this feeling right now, right everything you think you remember about him. I mean he was like my first dog so he's like. Maybe a mother, you know like he was my first rescue and he was like my body, and so I never understood how powerful it is to get some
out of your system, because now I've relinquished to the pain in a way because I wrote it down and I'm putting it out there. I'm like okay, I'm accepting that this is what has been like us, and is stunted my emotional growth for so long that I am ready to do. You know, there's a power in that there are. You makes you feel like I'm in charge of the rest of my life and my brothers death. You know, death does not define me and I've lighted define my relationship so the man for so long that now I get it. I'm like ok, good and you know, and I'm not like a needy person and you likewise saying before, like or I dont want to be weak and to me it's like, you being wanting to be in a relationship always was like when you hear girls like my boyfriend, I want a brave man like shut the fuck up, be independent and stronger than that, and you know it it's when you relinquish that stuff and you let, go and especially with writing, you can get to the other,
died and then you're like. Oh, this is really. What being strong should look like the idea now jus. Would you have liked to have got married and have been at this point? Was cylinder? pick out what I don't want to do is imply like that. I am in no way up implying, like oh, you ve failed that release, just for you, you shouldn't you can skip what every about sound. Not I don't look like a mad dog and even if you did think that I'd be. Finally that too, I dont think that I'm just curious. I'm I'm curious. If you do wish you'd had maybe a decade with someone you're still it I don't know. I don't know. I don't think about the past as much as I think about. Like you know. Moving forward, I dont, like I, I wouldn't be upset
If I think I'd be divorced. If I ever got married, I think it would have made the wrong decision. I don't think I had done the work. I think I would have it would have been a disaster yeah and you know a couple of times I had contemplated it. I would definitely divorce both of those people at some point or they would it divorce me, so I think now in a position where I can make stronger decisions. I have better like skills at that. You know they mean looking for people that are healthy instead of not how far you were but you do wrong relationships yeah. Yeah. I mean I haven't been in a lot of relationships, evident like three long term relationships as a forty four year old woman, as my doctor told his movement, and I've got to be a normal or so, but it's about like you know, you have to be healthy to attract a healthy, but now I, which is what
somebody- I don't know, I don't know what I want. I just know them ready to accept like if somebody comes in not to judge them. If, during the most fucked, a parachute doesn't count them, because I don't like the way that their shirt is hanging out of their pants. You now all of those things that you allow yourself to be so disgusted by are not real things right and to actually not judge. Somebody with a really do need to do. It's guys are tricky now running shoes or turkey too, but I believe you're always like your building a case at all times, whether it's that this person is perfect working or this person is not perfect like. If you have commitment issues, then you're kind of just confirming that of this person's, not the thing right right kind of choose. What you're going to focus on yeah and I've made bad decisions with regards to man so like it was time for me to take a break from that too, because I don't wanna be swept up like I want something: that's equal ought to be. Swept up and distracted like I've led to take hold of me in and on healthy. Really, kind of. You know destabilizing way where you're, just like you know at work and all your
caring about as like. When are you gonna hear from him and talk to him, and I know we get those feelings, their natural and then come up when you meet somebody in your love, love global? Ah, but it's not really help a way to go through life from now on, and I don't want it behave that I'd want to check a guy's phone ever onawandah even have the inclination to behave that way. So until I, like you, know healthy who you know, then I don't think it's fair to like keep putting. You know you can't wait for somebody to fix you. You're gonna have to fix yourself again. It's an inside job. Do you have a pattern of people to do because it? What it seems like is basically a crap What you're saying is physically you like black eyes now. No I mean yes, but not only black eye. Ok, winner thing, you said you a jungle fever and even when I was listeners, I urge I do like black eyes. I don't know I date white guys. Are those wars Gazette used, but the long term boyfriends were why? But you you like sexually, maybe you like black,
two thirds of this affair assessment. Now I would need a long term relationship with a black eye for sure if he was a great skeer yeah. We take great if I found a great lag skin, even at all the criteria. I, like all my guy, why back like a whole week, learn it in a week or something I mean someone of unity and they could pick it up. They wanted you bear, but am you it's really easy to take your attractions as just natural to you right while no man. This is what I like. I could give you a list of the things I like you know, but I have at times been lighten. There's, probably something behind that, though, like you, you probably don't just like what you like. Those of life was had taken different turns you barely like something different guy worthy like looked after. Ultimately, I want somebody who's, gonna, look after me and protect me and say here you are: where are you weren't you home yet,
like I never had that growing up. I had no one asking where I was my parents would I mean I go away for the weekend when I was like eleven or twelve with my girlfriends and they don't even know I was gone so obviously my Reno, I want a strong masculine guy. Black eyes are strong and masculine, and I was attracted to that because it felt like they were protecting me physically aha syndrome and it's very basic worried about me dad, like I married mom for sure, oh, you did all sure yeah. I like I need, when you do ever called Kristen MOB guy. Well, when you at once, you have kids the use which permanently to mom and dad because you're always reference the kid you're. Only communicating with the kids like to ask my mom. Is this and then you just go mom, did you who blank and then you're those people were? Were I'm dead, she's mom? I mean my dad am I I was. I think you married opposite or are not marry day. I met everybody. I dated whiskey
like not really now I mean my father, I found so kind of real, not repulsive, and that way but like he was. I didn't want the right Rio is better to be alone than to be with anybody that was gonna. You now and hearing me down your lease. I could rely myself among the person I can lie on. It's me. You know against the world this whole mentality that you have to just be so fierce that you have to like. You know that you there and then you become the fixer for everybody like I, you know I'll take care of it. Oh my brothers and sisters. They need this, I got it, I gotta admit to control the family. Now the I'll take care of it like I became the one that was dependable, so oh, I don't not attracted to anyone like my dad by price for sure, like round he had got out even legitimate, not personnel be wise. We're like those in unavailability that you're trying to do that as well. I'm the guy the unavailability of again, if I can eligibility and if I could get this person it's too yeah data, guys that were overly
emotional like who who were the office. Of my dad sissies, yeah yeah, just dynamic market now by fighting I'll, have data guys at were data guy wants. It was really needed, my boss, from E. When I got my issue, we started dating like three or four months after I started. My first show there and he and I had a really bad break up, because he was fucking best with me, and I know mom and my showed beyond you know like it was that kind of shit, and I was like I can't deal with this. You ve got a chill out. He didn't have his own friends, you know you I'm gonna do is on thing. If I went out, it was like what time you coming home and that I didn't on Syria manner than the next set of guy I was just like. I went through a string of like non attachment people you know like I, I didn't care. I just wanna guys round have sex with you and I don't want any commitment, and then I did guy that was emotional aid, just kind of tricky and just not a great guy you and after I chose him and got back forth and broke up with having got back together couple times on, like I
Have no business being in any relationship right? You know he just was it. You know she did lied and all that stuff- and I just I don't know it just fuck me out. I was like I'm not doing this again until I know what I'm doing so they just two more things are really wanted, because I find you really fascinating, but when I remembering one is yeah right, you ve had five bucks on the New York Times were seller, less I'm sure no one's interest and ensure that measure your sister bought all those with my money. You go by these fuckers. That was clear. That's acute then, once my very first book that I wrote my horizontal life. I wrote it and I came home to visit my parents. I came out. I do this like book tour and I was in you know somewhere in Europe in Antwerp, this random place for this book fair, and I remember coming home from there and my mom picking
from the airport in the minivan and in the back there were just like pile up at night- is actually had gotten margins because I wanted to buy my mom was so shy and like not like that, you know she wasn't your bid and she went had gone bars knows was I put all the books of front and then I went to the back. Nice said about all the ones so that there are no result out- and I was like that, so you got already answered this question earlier, but I was wondering because I've been guilty of it. Do you think, by being so openly honest about your sexuality in fucking dues, or the first book is my horizontally? Has that invited unwanted comments from guys that feel like they're allowed to talk to you like that, because I even think I've like. I could start right off at a ten with you just because you're being honest, but doesn't mean that your you want to talk to strangers
allowed to talk of his personal and I feel like it's a trap. Only women are susceptible to. I think it's unfair, but I had of weirdly the similar I can frame. You sure would end like era, Yanza government. I look good for so my and our somehow me. Sarah, that's a good crew idea. I live there, but not great people to have people felt like that that you dont have boundaries, and yet it people do that mostly women than men don't again manner like good or for glory for women are more like you don't want it think I do shots all the time or they want a party or, like I said you know, women get I'll. Condoms shows and be like shit faced and it's like you know, that's not what I was talking like ironic as you advise good night. I rise not work at a hoarding, admiring shots. I try not to do shots. It's not fun to do a shot, doesn't taste good, but people do that stuff. But it's
mostly women, men, I've. Never like really, you know, sometimes man could be inappropriate, but its ever been an issue now frank will because also from the Ex boyfriend I was looking at I was reading that today and I was thinking how man you fast forward there same scenario to today. It's probably dodgy right. You can't have sex with people awkward anymore. I want you to do what was the aged different twenty years? Sell all nigger thing: will you I always did it all. You guys have always it'll do guys. So the father figure thing is a definite thing. We just not sure exactly why our watchwords he was twenty years older. We data for four years and I was madly in love with him right like I, but never once did. I ever want to be married. I like I even my deepest feelings for him. It was now on the table, I always assumed everything was gonna, be temporary home. You know. Even the relationship is like
and live Emily? I love you too, of course would be together. Did it and then, when I started to kind of out grow, the relationship is, why do you now? He really clamp down and that's on as like I'm out here, which is what happens, will so, first and foremost, I'm very in favour of the many things that are happening, an evolving, and I think that there are a ton of terrible, predatory, old dude, I'm also in defence of people dating that work and also in defence of people dating their boss. If they want to I dont believe that people candy their boss now, and I also think that, like in a work, is where a lot of people meet with you and that's the only way to learn how to be a liking. I think there were in a period of over correction which is completely unnecessary and then- and hopefully we can shake this out to a point where you now have two people want to be responsible and normal. They can Definitely like each other and say: hey. You, wanna go on a date with me here. I know it's just there is predatory behaviour and you know just like you and I'm sure, like you, I'm in unfair.
press that I didn't know more about this whole well in in again now take full responsibility ownership. But what the other very tricky thing is that for you you see yourself the way other people see you is very hard to do. I have never thought I was the boss, but I have been the bars at what I'm driving a movie and there's a hundred b. I am technically the boss, but I'm now I don't feel like the boss. I feel like it of your old that somehow accidently got into this party. I so I didn't like it actually takes work to remind yourself. Like all recognize that know, some people actually are looking at you in a way that you, maybe we're, wouldn't be healthy, do acknowledge. You know I gotta power over people. I would never want to. You like. I have power where people, yet I am required to acknowledge it. Yes, so they re, because I'm a dirty mother fucker, if you're around me, your hand, sex job, Minos, Anjou, I'm fucking, discussing an inappropriate- and I say things that I touch. People are also at TAT
yeah and I mean even during this documentary I was forming. I you know grab this a black girl a smack drawn the ass. like in it in a way that I felt like goes on. Oh hey, you know like sisterhood Like we're girls, you know I'm not gay, I'm not letting on you but light like sisters and she was not having at all. She was really upset that I touched her, but she's like black women have been defined by their hair and their asses for centuries. You're not allowed to touch that way, and I was like holy fuck you're right. It's not about your intention, fuck intention, it's about how its received, I can't say I didn't mean it that way, that's how it felt to them working both things. Your true bombings are true. Intention is very relevant if smacked her ass yeah, it's different than when you did. That is true and then also
It's true that you were wrong and you should do it again. Yeah you, norms, ain't, like all. Diving were presented with a one or the other option, but it's like all things can be true light. When I go in these hold me- and I thought I found this guy- I spoke with her, but don't they told me that she was upset as a group will wit. What's the chart like. Is there a charge here like what, but are we calling that's like sexual harassment there like what's harassment on my because its unwanted and ok, but I'm not sure fuck that girl, I'm not doing that. I'm here you know, and there are no, it doesn't matter its unwanted like it took me a minute to digest at once. I took the time to actually understand we're somebody fucking else's coming from, rather than what my experience has been. It made it a lot clearer that you are out of line and a lot of behaviour that all of us have been getting away with for a long time is not acceptable. The honours, it sometimes requires mistakes. Sometimes it requires you doing it too then learn. Oh. I can't do that again or other people can't do that. But how do you know unless you do?
The stakes are part of the union says you can still smack skinny white girls NASA. Let's go to your rikers. What you immediately are doing, is you start defending your character, or at least I do like Walden now, I'm not that that thing that we put in that body right, because you know I mean how many people are living in. You now fear Ino about ok, what's gonna come What have I done, then? You know like we're all guilty of not behaving at our best, all the time so you're, just it it's a good thing to think about. It is in in the boy. Is it Turkey, because there's there's yet another side of my brain to, whereas someone just told Montana story where they were they made it? They were making a bunch of jokes and there is about ninety people there and everyone will have enough fuckin Riah in a blast in it, was awesome and then one person did not like those jokes. reported it right. So in a situation like that, I'm a little because with like what I'm sorry also one
listen can't room what a hundred other people agree is fine with, so it that's tricky to yeah. In now I did does the trigger for one person trump the enjoy of a hundred people. Now that, like every knots of fair play- and it is essential that again not seen smacking someone- yes, but you know, I'm saying like that there are there are. There are many examples we could think of where, where ninety nine point, nine percent of the people would enjoy no one percent, it would certainly bring up something dramatic in the heartbreaking right and then, but do about dry aura ties that further true a new world in a difficult time. Right now, I think, for alive we will be able to know what to do or what to say. But you know that's, probably it's definitely warranted. You know. People has overstepped, all behaved so badly, but it is like
you know, you're right, I mean that's. A great point is like a hundred other, be worn offended, but will you know what what would happen in your pass me? How are we must know what everybody's pasts were? So like the only thing we can do is be sensitive to people's backgrounds and and be re racially sensitive and not to say something: that's that's stupid and not try to put our firm up. But again you do make mistakes and you learn from them and I think once you I have to say like when somebody apologizing something we should accept that you guys. I mean she. I was lucky enough that she would totally was cool with me when I did apologize and we talk for a little bit on the phone and and I feel they felt awful about it- that you love the new car anyhow. I don't. Let's have now living in a one bedroom, authoritative, it's all projection most certainly, but there have been so many things throughout the last ten years. Where am I learn similar to this? Personally, I feel like a real
relate to this purse. I think we are similar after having this conversation, aims that way. Think monitoring so for Sharia LAW, beheld, Kristen yeah, like hers, I let her in the general trend, not the things. If only this is listening, I'm always trying to read between the lines on like this one of us like: what's your relationship with drinking, it is as close as it can be to where you would need to stop or is it fine? It's been it's been. It's been definitely pushed the limits, and in my life how or where there are like you'd, better rain it in and when I have had to I I do now with cannabis. The drinking is a different thing, generally mean
echo cannibals lose you love like edibles and love edibles, unloved aping. I love it. I mean this is one of the first days that I'd probably haven't had ahead of a vague pan, and I mean by this time I usually have ahead at some point on it takes like you know, but I am very ro. We just like everyone. Should I mean it's like out so much better than alcohol? So that's changed a lot, but yet another was times in my life where I went too far and I've been out in public and then grocer messy and were. I was like you know where people were like you, gotta call it the yet so so so, yes for sure it's something that Anna would do the thing about for me about we'd. Is that, like it a at a certain age, it's not luck to be bloated. Desert got come off of either way. You steal my forty, so I have to work hard to be healthy and its important for me to like look. You know as good as I can, and so that's the major you're doing a great job. Thank you because it is a bit like little
lose right like some. Listen, you and stern, and I think you're saying like wants it. Are you always do a month clean out right now? That's not me! I don't do that. I mean I have, but not on the regular but that's all I can offer you a month at what I could have the terms wrong of agreement, but but you were, as I had a clear do like a detox. Yes, I did see. Taxes are right in them. I just small, Spidey census went what you know. Most people don't feel the need to detox Randall, look dissolute clue for me. You know I'm sorry actually great you're right, because you why you d taxing unless you feel disgusting right, I will say their habit times. Were I've been you know, like you know, you didn't. Al cargoes goes along with a lot of other video. You use powder, your nose, yeah bless you I'm dying each I mean yes, I've definitely done that. That is like that is a filthy discussing it waiting
it's. What got me sober? I just want to say all this is a huge compliment. You, because all this evaluation of use me just going like I gotta, had a real great weak. with her. I have always thought had we met at the right time, we are really fucking roll their sleeves up and talked about. Some type would we have, but I think you know as a natural progression. You know I understand I mean. Obviously, addiction is a huge problem and I think- and I am not saying that I don't have a problem I do have a problem. Who knows I I oh, that I don't want to allow myself to get to a place where I have to quit something forever. So if I have to remove alga from my life than I do, you know what I mean if I have to go for a while and not drank, or have one drink and never have more than one drink. Like you know what I mean, I am able to make some of those modifications, because first of all, I know is more about them.
Kennedy to be quite honest than harassing Allison. Sadly, that's like true. You know the business were in it's like. I don't want to look tired. What did you know you? Can you can only get away with that behaviour? Fur while you were, you can't get away all that has an older person. It's not a hot look. Well of him. He saved my life like eating quit smoking because I was afraid of lung cancer. Although I acknowledge I was going to greater wrinkles idly, whereas our nervously, like the oh all, these Mozilla, really all really quick, again and again afforded do yeah that really drove me. Aren't you quit smoking? Nicaragua I'm on the lozenges I have been for twelve year, yet everyone seems to be addicted to laws in Hungary. I gotTa Brian seems to be a big boy. I got hypnotized, I got carried gainer he's gotta go away. I also hit my words yeah. I quit smoking, never smoked cigarette again I got echoed hypnotize like I think when I started my Netflix talk show which was like four years ago. I started
and I haven't had a cigarette ever since I he said to me the last airway laughed he said I go. Can I hang out with friends at smoke and he said you'll never want to smoke again, go outside with your friends, don't when they smoke cigarettes, you'll, never think of yourself as a smoke. it'll be foreign hands, and it is why even unlike there have been ties were like you know, a girlfriend sent a situation and everyone whips out the cigarettes and I'm like I want to help. I want to smoke this virility guy or to solidarity it so it so foreign to me. It's like I've. Never even one. That's to me where I drank and have fine you're, not gonna smoke, and I never did dear member that experience what it we ve talked about this before, like our personalities more susceptible to hypnotizing or not I don't know if I'm I'm so sorry, I think almost anybody got your encouraging. Actually, my cousin, I sense as she's a smoker and she didn't work for her. my driver Billy, I know that's relate of all. Should he
his wife smoke for forty five years. I sent her and she hasn't smoking seven months. What does he do? What does I don't know he so weird and settling almost like you want to get it over. You don't ever happens again like the pooping in Europe, the Panther yeah yeah, like I'm like, let's just get always and through legal, let's just get around, so I don't ever have to fuck and come back to this old threes company apartment and Santa Monica. She hath and he's a great guy, though he helps us people's like with eating disorders, and you know phobia plain flying whatever so for me, yeah smoking. was really grass and then a pseudonym yearbook. Overtime life will be the death of me and wonders a couple It comes out on April night and I'm doing it
a city tour, so there are still cities that have tickets available. So it's like nation dot com for tends to buy tickets, ok, grant and then also. I noticed when I, when I googled your name today. The very first thing that came up was your to reschedule. So I think, is very fine, great rivers managing I'll go hundreds of them myself and make sure that's work and you'll feel great by the end of the tunnel is TAT every individual forget about getting in my career. Remember I was constantly, is just so self obsessed and give them up, and then you get your point when you don't ever want to see an interview don or see a picture of yourself. You just are divorced, yourself. I cannot agree more. I always talk here about that. There was a two year period that had a google alert. I myself so I like any time some someone whispered deck shepherd I'd find out about it. Just always, I feel terrible after TAT, even a positive review of anything I mean I figure out the way that its bad yeah exactly what we are now, it's not it's three. We hate ourselves otherwise, salaries. Better
meta, like I like to hear news about myself from other people via soldiers. Am I worried, but did you respond to some like I'm in your lives in a twitter war that I didn't know I was Incas I'd go with one of the trumps or something, and somebody told me like you, we waiting for your response to Donald Trump Junior. Did you say you did this and am I am so glad? I don't know about that: yeah yeah! Ok! So, in an hour, you'd you're doing more stuff with Netflix yeah doing you seem to have a real good thing with their my That's my my would always a fugitive forever everything I do that Netflix. But yes, I have a new document are coming out on the that's coming after the book soldier detour I'll, do the book I'll do the tour and then I'll do the documentary and that stuff and then I'll hopefully cease fire.
While I adore you, I always have a hope. I'll talk to you again saying to you that you and I would never have this conversation without. I know a guy now you know not machinations. On this package, I look like six at the cells driving how Tis I visit my family and I was like a well. This is great. Thank you. You're, a psychologist. But I thought the better Tarzan pleased about my own tonight I'll go out on a highly thank you, but I am really happy. I'm sayin you and I hope to see you again soon. I hope your book does fantastic. I, like you, a tangled thanks guys, like you thanks for having me, and now my favorite part of the show the fact check with my soul made Monica bad men. Are you doing? I'm cool your joy. Let me turn on the heater. Now is going to be loud, analysing its tube loud. Ok, so let's say what
he wanted to say. I'm in trouble, you don't wanna, be weird and the intro yes. Well, we ve noticed a pattern. Yellow talk about the pattern we ve known just a pattern. Member would Lena Dunham happen with Amy humor. It happened. Zara, Sir silver men have old, Grannis, paltry, Elsie Purity, Chelsea Prodi. We don't see this, We have men on now where the comments are super mean and critical, harsh and a lot of before they ve her. That's always before they ve listened. In fact, anyone would listen. Pretty much. All said like. Oh I like her much more than I was expecting to remember. Yes, I think there's been a lot of quick judgment when we have strong female now, yes on who are known to have opinions, yeah yeah, you know a lot of our male gas are also known for everyone. Opinions, yes and nobody seems to have that reaction, and I just your humble host: has it
tremendous amount of opinion yeah, and I just would like to urge people if they have the instinct or look the hard thing as if their listening this part they they bliss and organise our boats. True, that's what's hard, but but I do want to say what my policy is so like. I did this ongoing, which is, if you want to say something mean about one of our gas. I can't stop. You Saying it on your feed. You should totally say what I'm not trying to control your free speech, but am I feed where our guests might go and look I delete any negative, mean terrible comments about a guess that use graciously gave us a few hours of their time. So I will delete it and then, if you keep free riding at which happened a couple times, I then bloody area. So that's just the palace beyond my page area, where do with that housing info. What you will hear, if you have the entire,
our response to write something like that. I would just urge you to think about why in what's happening in this specific case verses, all the other people we have on our show, because there's no difference roads and it been pretty stark and obviously has hardly hardened, not realise or observe yeah empty, clear pattern. It is oh yeah, that's hard to sense about being positive on the comments here again the mean you get your fee can be as negative as you wanted to be. That's fine, but ours is this positive. We try to keep a positive here. I hope mean. Oh sure, everyone can do whatever they want. Bed posit Poverty is contagious and, if you're putting it out there, I do think it comes back to you. I agree.
I agree and negativity is the same weight, so hope art listeners further for their sakes, put out more positive energy new tried to anyway by agree MIA Honey so Chelsea for sea now. Did you have any Britain? seemed opinions of jealousy before she got here. Yes, I was very intimidated by her before she came as as I am with the lot of these women again that all of the people that we just listed, I have felt intimidate shit about beforehand, arrive, which I know is tied in its all tied into this were powerful. Strong women are intimidating right even to pee who have strong opinions themselves, it so weird, it's very weird but not for, but for me the intimidation doesn't come with anger. It's just like ie like
I'm, I'm like nervous, I'm nervous yeah Also, you think, there's a layer of it where you also respect these women solutions with the notion that they might not. Yes, you, the rest, then more than I want impress someone else, I'm not intimidated, buying right yeah for sure. I think this is definitely one of my top three favorite episodes and she so honest and insightful and really is trying to do good girl. Really I just really like her dear I like her to, and I like that, she's trapped in a similar cannon from that I've been trapped in which is like her comedy for years. Has been evocative and of calling bullshit, yet she is a good person who wants to change yeah so sometimes, as things are now budding up against each other and probably evaluating, I guess I wouldn't have made this joke dynamic.
before now. Here I just relate to her lot and that she's, I kind of juggling those things were like she's, crass and into the point, and yet she does care about people speak means yeah that through yet it's very true and you're gonna, be you like, ok, we'll who now who does deserve this public criticism or are Jamie Well, there was a thing, John Oliver about it the other day. It is a curious questions like hoo hoo hoo. Can you ethically publicly shame yeah that was interesting on bad shook ass. He said that it may seem like we do that, all the time which we do who was lying, but if we put a lot of thought into who we think it's ok to do that to and who we dont runs very interesting. It's one of those you know when we make on tee. He always uses that phrasing punching up run like you can punch up, but you can't punch down.
right? I think that's generally, that rule I do the gap, but remember one house before mad at me for making fun of the movie the expendable on Conan same I was making fun of supervisors alone and what other jacked up huge guys and movie in saying that they can't fight fast. They survive big vessels, but their tendons are in great shaven, lie down a fight and stop people man. I was like, if you can't one of the most alpha rich white deeds in America who on earth can you make funny. I agree that silly shell see handler she'll handle yeah. Oh yeah, you know used
Sometimes colored Chelsea lately cause they're shows called Chelsea lately and I would think for a second set. Her name was lately. I could see that happen. Everything when I spoke with my father about her man. You know my dear. I didn't bring it up again because I told her in person, but my dad was obsessed with child really, oh, he thought she was so fucking not. But in fact you know when I told her I'm, like you know, my dad is like he has the Playboy interview. You did is like sits on. The coffee table is obsessed with her and she goes yet that Leslie Old man like me. Until all Dave Senior had a thing for her lucky, I imagine. But again he was very confident he was afraid of somebody who is, it framework and I like bad boy back to my mom at one point I know they're bitching, keeping a glow, any time now anyway. So you know we talk a little bit about her books and help in like who you can talk about. Can talk about your siblings or can't I, by ex boyfriends and all that stuff,
and I think about that on this show a law sure labs. In our story telling you how we these are real people want? I'm Anthony said that to me not about him, but he was like we use, use, told a thing in use, It was about Eric Covington Lang. Do you feel weird but then, as I know in the news I came in, the real Hersant out in the world like yeah, that's true about, but I dont think the determining factor is just using sums name or not. Everything you told about come then we have your own obsession with him, a yeah. You were you didn't say about any of his behaviour, his hands eating. I said he I did say that he slept at the student. Ah, yes, but that's a fact right. I have I mean even if it is it still like me about some random person in the world who exist
yeah. I guess for me my barometer, whether I say son's name is just simply is. If it's all about me, yes, is all about admissions of myself like I think Randy Homenas was the cutest girl, my junior high right. You know what that's I'm fine saying that were also not saying anything negative, accept the sitting students, but I don't even think you're painting than as a negative now I wasn't, but you were hoping he would sleep with vehicle than it was an adult Ozanna high school teachers, a college teaching and she was an adult and then and then they hook, they think they get married. Another study together you're right you're right. I don't know if I'm right legal, a bit more in terms of when I think about, but on your end I always the only time I think about as like, but your mom and dad tat. So you know I now let me in your your allotted time. While your mom and dad alone is tricky deserves, or both still alive and have jobs, and I might add, I can t
he's dead zone by your Mama lie. I talk about her loved. I have her express permission. Re yeah she's, like guns, hooter yeah, it's interesting yeah. Ok, so she said she was sorry. My Cathy Griffin- and she said you know she gonna thing with Brook shields and I wanted to know about was- and I guess it was that can be made fun of Brooks mom. Her wedding rooms are idle her standard. Yes, a bow, wedding and her mom Ngos in our stand up anyway. So I heard her little. She was talking about on Howard Stern. I heard a little clip, don't you we'll Howard says the same thing right to her face: you'll never be at my house, but he has her on his shovel design show, but without a studio but ok but said what she's saying what Cathy was saying on the UN's this stern club is like Howard. The part of this is your fonts, because every time I come on here, Howard kept trying to get prizes.
fell out of here, and he kept saying over and over again say Brook shields. Is funny say it and she so then she's unaware position there. She doesn't want to save. She doesn't think it's true, but if someone's talent you to do, I don't think is that we have a position. If, if I go and stern, he says say Monica Blank, no anago or I was on our journeys asked me about who I fog? Can I just don't tell em at times he's trapping hurrying away because either she says oh yeah Brook is funny, but then she's lying. If she doesn't think that's true rises. That's that ice way to do? It is to lie essential ain't right or she just says, I'm not going say that and then I'm not gonna say that means she's, not funny.
Russia is a trap anyway. That was part of the conversation is in an Howard said that she made fun of mom. You don't have really in a fever, girly protective of their family. Of course, in there the home did, you know about someone overrun and partisan stand up? Is it describing your household right now. I don't want to. I think, our it's pretty much the north star. He navigates it very well, but you nomes ain't like he knows somehow what stories he can town which once he can't like prison. I have stated his home he's, never brought that up on the radio right, even if these on the topic of christian- and he knows it-
the wall between that studio in his real life yap me never talks about his daughters right so anyways he seems to have you know, give juggled it yeah, so use of a Christian has rescued a trillion dogs, not rescue two trillion dogs is probably not even a trillion dogs. The history of the oil is still look up, she's rescued Muffin Chelsea. She does it. Muffin Chelsea Sugar, Lola, Shaky Pat Glenn Emmy and her five puppies and then she's fostered. Was he already left one out when she mood and she had that black lab say. Did you say safety now he has no say she's, even forgotten ones. That was a could train a dog at breathe like Darth Vader RE, improve the house, everyday okay, so Sir she's between
rescuing and fostering, I would say, she's she's at lake torn some now fourteen. Ok, so not a trillion nodded trillion, but a lot o guard for fourteen, not a trillion. That's what we learned today, many but she has the obviously rescued. Quite a quite a lot. Does a good job for these dogs. An unseen pull over and see a dog that just running about on their own me now under their own supervision right and then figure out to get that dog back to the owner of. What's that happened at least ten times yeah, that's nice! What percentage of rescue dogs have been abused? Well, according to the S pcs, national re homing survey pet problem.
These are the most common reason that owners re home their pets, accounting for forty, seven percent of re home dogs and forty, two percent of re hummed cat pat problems were defined as problematic. Weber's aggressive behaviour is grew, larger than expected, or health problems owner couldn't handle that. So that's not abuse rights. One half of them right now is not abused right. So maybe max fifty three percent but come on now. I don't think so. I think when Windows Alex get it, people think their abuse right. I know and allow those are just give no argument. I don't really know enough about dogs or maybe, as I can only say, that ok, you did- and I agree with your guy so in her marriage dark she talks about her dad and how it comes in, and he said
I love you. I miss you and you said you heard, then you were like he's guilty. You did you watch it down. I want I want to thank the other you'd feel the same way. Well now a maybe notably the delivery. It's not the words. You yourself have a thing about when people say I miss you too, you and I you're right in it, because I feel over extended, like I'm letting a lotta people down yeah, there's a lot of people. I feel that I have now an emotional responsibility too, and I somebody overwhelmed by that yeah I get one. I made my mom living at the house, but my sister there, my wife, I have two kids a view. I have does a lot of you one very emotionally connected to invite our working eighty hours a week. I start feeling my only on all these people feeling like I'm not there for them. I now so yeah does make. I feel good
when people say you, but he goes yes, you that's how he said it that I miss you I now. I just think this is triggered by your saying our baby, where I think your projecting and I think also the notion that she's famous, so I'm probably like yeah. You know this kind of general like yours, for example, I want name any names, but my mom started getting some emails about the fact that I had not attended certain family reunions They were critical of that and then my mom rightly pointed out that my siblings Haddan attended that either rang out. There were no emails about now exactly that was very, astute of her to point that out- and I do think once you're famous people are looking for you to have changed and so they're finding proof of that wherever they look. So I also think I'm really sensitive.
So when I saw that I miss you, I was like. Oh, he now he's because she has the gene she has, even though her sister and brother probably are just as on available through their job. Maybe we don't know your own dynamic and it maybe he just missed her like it's, ok, yeah, that's very true, and I think what when you feel guilty about it, I want you to. I just want you to work on that. Ok, because it's weird it does like we're has such we are rippling effect meaningless. When people know that you don't like hearing it. Ah, they then can't say it right. Maybe they need to, I want to say it not not to make you feel bad to make. You feel the truth, which may rest your missed wrong, which should make you feel good the should make you finish, loves you and somebody, MRS Ewing, wants you around
it really should it makes me. I feel like I'm failing that purse yeah yeah, but in like kind of the bizarre you see, this person is unable to do something they want to do because your of your Gill B, some feeling, I feel like I'm, not meeting their needs, yeah. And then I, if you're gonna, be ok all over that because of whatever extraneous yes, sir I'm stance, I men were I'm not available, yeah yeah. This becomes all spiral for me. I now here I agree with you. I agree yeah, I know your honor I will in Chinese, or I should say thank you when sums has a well, you need to say thank you, sir. I was a trail Cecile gear,
you don't say anything, but I just I probably just I miss you too. If you do you have it, I guess you should say it if you don't, but but why do I miss all the people? I love that I'm not around yeah and I'm not around them. I think you need to take it for what it is. We just somebody cares about you and that's all it is. Oh, is there a big man, Norman Contingency in Germany, because my mom is more men and german, so the first congregation of Latter Day saints was organised in Darmstadt Darmstadt in eighteen, forty three witches in Germany, Is that true? No, that would have to be the first one in German. That's what I thought, but then it's his elder John Taylor of the quorum of the twelve apostles preached in Hamburg in eighteen, fifty one in supervisor, translation of church literature and a german due to strong persecution. Many of the early members emigrated to Utah.
so that's just still yet all starts with Joseph smell upstate me. Your makes its way do Ohio. Where has it settlement for a while many gets driven are therefore, the polygamy Ratan may go to you, tar and there now. Bring them bring me on as a military stand off. That's why he's heralded got it Well, so I don't even know that Joseph Psmith made it to you talk. To be honest. I can't remember the exact history, but I dont know that he even made at their gotta well. It says today, a latter day saints in Germany, the total, approximately thirty six thousand, many of them. Second third or fourth generation members of the trips plus on very many, I think, according to one graph, if I read a correctly its point, o five percent- so Madam vomit
now the book a centralism she recommended that I read it while we were talking- and I have said RO. Oh, you have yeah, ok centralism, the discipline pursuit of the less by Gregg Macau in and hot hot book right now in Euro Circle, particularly right, my circle is reading New Marco Polo chain. I haven't read it yet, but I would like to its a good book. You know it's funny as it was I'm already preaching my position the last twenty years, so I already agreed with. I don't like I didn't chapter for chapter to convince me. I kind of like I agreed with this just read out the gate right, and I thought it was a good one yeah, if anything, maybe alleviated little guilt. I had about you nutritionally what people directly moves are sold.
It was, while one is being added it in there is like heat around that you go set up. Another one said that your filming before the movie comes out unless in case it failed. In my case I could have benefited from twice her and I didn't do it, but my defence of that was, I can't added a movie well and think about other things. You can all. I have to have tunnel vision on something there for me didn't execute. I get my brain doesn't work that way yet so this kind of made me feel less guilty, but yeah yeah, that's great! Well, that's the next back because you said
Client. If we proven multitasking was a foul seem that they ve done a trillion. Different studies yearn to the word trilling. Who was woven, yeah you and truly and yes, I d. The very idea is nothing more than a myth and scientifically impossible phenomenon. Psychologists have shown that it is impossible for the human mind, a completely focus on more than one thought at a time. Traffic jam is a perfect metaphor. All six of this was an entrepreneur magazine. All successful entrepreneurs note they cannot perform at the highest peak of their potential when a traffic jam is going on in their heads in sight, goes, I Burnett ex. They say peak performers, virtually worship at the altar of focus and concentration working tirelessly to achieve it for very good reason. Concentration is a major keyed two minute by minute success in any endeavour. So when you are attempting to multi tat,
what you are doing is reducing the amount of focus and concentration necessary for each task. In other words, you will never be able to give each task a hundred per cent of your complete concentration. You there was another like come from. I hope some interest thoughts while, while reading, which were this is a great book assuming you have a super desired ability or skill set, because it's kind of urging need to basically say no to a lot of requests at your job so that you can do the one that you're great at and that'll benefit the company, but it kind of resumes you position where that's gonna be valued, it's a little and once a lead us, but it's a little impractical for probably most people's jobs, I would ask you to do, would get you fired, I think from most place so little little bit me when I say cat like well. This is great advice. If you're a programmer, who has a very specific skill set, that would be optimized by singular focus. But if you work at Starbucks you're going to take the fucking or
and you're gonna make the coffee. Then you're gonna write a name I caught. You know whatever yeah. It feels a little bed time. sky. Are you a little bit? I get back? feel a great book I mean, I think, be boiled really more benefit from the social implications about saying yes to many people, yeah senior to what are really may bees learning how to decide that it may be is really a no here. All this kind of thing, I don't have much problem yeah, we'll get you brought. I read it. You're gonna we're similar in that way, but I do Multitasking Heine men not, but I definitely have a fine time saying no to lay something I know I know you did it like. You had different job requirements in the pod cast became required. So much focus that you had to say, and I cant do certain things anymore- no harm other, be bored of just kept, trying to do all those things and done really should job at all the things right.
She said normally by this time she would have had a hit a debate pen, so we recorded at three that is relevant now in case it that it was like ten, a m which still may be could be the case, but my three thirty you she's probably had ahead of rape is which saying in eyebrow pointed it out. Not nicotine vapor We are we'd yeah, the emerald, monetary H, sea or c b D. Who knows what she had signed on out? That's that's that! Well, we loved her and so yeah. I hope people I will say one thing: you know what we started by saying: don't write negative things more, the much better headline is ninety. Nine percent comments are people who have an open mind. And listen to some of the day. Thought was one thing and they keep an open mind and that's sexy in hot, oh, it's high in the air, the hottest soaking
relations, our people, the sexy, hot mine. We like you, we love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.