Ellen Pompeo (Grey's Anatomy, Old School, Catch Me If You Can) is an American actress, director, and producer. Ellen chats with the Armchair Expert about growing up in blue collar Boston, her relationship with women and proving her worth. Dax asks about the impact of losing her mother at age 4 and Ellen talks about a few iconic movies she was cut out of. The two talk about Ellen's public salary negotiations and the pros and cons of being on a show for 17 seasons.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome. Welcome all the norm. Chair expert shepherd, I'm joined by manic, mouse high. I do great First of all, what am I saying fuck this whole show too is Monica per day. Oh yeah, here, turning tree thirty, three too little uncomfortable casino, recording. As before my actual bert. I know, you're worthy of our day to day in trying to make it even seem like we're? Really on top of that there is a little white lie but you're right today, it's two days yeah! Then, if you could just see to say happy birthday before here, that's kind of a thing in a like. What's your meetings on a Tuesday nor your birthdays on Wednesday, you gonna want to celebrate that Tuesday yeah, you know out too I get banned year anyway, have avert. Thank I'm really happier born thing
not that picture of you in the white dress, when we propose that yeah, it's my profile, pic, ok, look! We posted on this episode are ok great, Ok, anyways Ellen Palm Pale. She is a wonderful actress he's also a director in a producer? You know her is anatomy she's been on for seventeen seasons? She was also in catch me. If you can, in one of my favorite companies of all time old school, I love talking to her so please enjoy Ellen Bumpo incense manage your mouse happy birthday greeting on Instagram, which she hates it. I said but do we are supported by Tiki brand? Now listen tv brand makes the coolest. Even called space age. It's the mouse, aesthetically pleasing ingenious fire, but you could ever have there's nothing better than sitting around fire right, not the it so cozy and you can just stare at those.
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I bring dot com, slashed acts and promo Go Dax. We are supported by best fiends. What are you doing in your free time, plain best means, I hope, if you're not playing best fiend. Yet you should be it's ours, fine you can enjoy anytime best fiends has challenging puzzles, dissolve cute characters to collect in new levels added every day, I'm completely if you're anything like me, you will be to no WI fi, no worries, you don't even need an internet connection to play. I got to say that's probably my favorite part, because so often I want to play it on the airplane. When I'm Boredest Ivan for so long. The game has gotten harder. So I definite You have to pay more attention to the goals now because when he D match fifty green leaves and defeat five slugs with only twelve moves. You can't really waste your moves. Matching the yellow flowers or you'll never hit the green leaf. Call Monica best fiends is a unique and exciting puzzle game, unlike other games out their best fiends updates the game monthly with new levels in events, so it never gets old best fiend
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dining room yards calls it babe and he was like all right. I didn't Rameses or maybe just like coming to your backyard with mobile recorder. How would that have landed on your your your years? Had I suggested that well it would land on the ears is sound, like children, jumping ANA Trembling right right right. We have the same problem, I'm not sure what I've done in my life. I guess I do tat sort aloud. I am happy talent, let the italian american community not now because I said that, take your award back, don't mind. Heads scurry these screen name, I don't get it to say you know my wife when we first started dating she used to say to me all the time where is volume knob, because I would like to turn it down and you know I have to take not really. I think they inherited that for me they seem do not have a volume knob either, and it just set a full till how old you kid. They are three six,
in ten wow, I guess you had to girls at them, of for number three to try to get a boy. Yes for sure and you're from messages I am I'll get. The word gives me a great anxiety pronouncing. How do you say Massachusetts It's the as I think that I like stumble upon the Massachusetts. You can always in Boston. Ok, so you are from Boston Supper. I am your end like. Oh, what kind of background middle class very blue collar italian Irish, a town called Everett, which is literally right next door to Boston, would be like the equivalent of bread. When you go over a bridge and there you are, it was asked we in the opening scene of some ass, like movie the town, maybe the town yeah sketchy place, but now it must be
oh surreal, because that neighbourhood, where they shot that Movie Steve when built a giant, see no they're. So all the town is based off of stories from trust on mass, which is also an extra Boston yeah, which has the highest amount of bank robbers. In the United States per capita. Fifty percent at one point allow armored car robberies were happening in a block area, but now there's this giant casino. There, oh no kidding yeah yeah. I worked there in my dream ever was from Boston and he was newly out of prison. I became obsessed with him and we became bodies in Canada. Vote on all my expectations are what we your driver's named. You know. Yes, it was Jimmy Jimmy yeah. I remember, as you would expect You know it's controversial there, because most of the Teamsters do have fallen. Convictions for they get out of prison and they get these amazing June.
In jobs yeah, which some people have a problem with, happened personally. Love me to you. I feel like I relate more to a guy like that, then maybe other folks. But what did dad do? My father was a cigarette salesmen in then he went to many different stores and what mountain supplies and he had a route, and he would go to the different convenience stores and take their orders for what cigarettes they were ordering in a thirty cases Marlboros or whatever it was there, and yet he was the one who supplied the cigarettes to the stores and then his side hustle was, I think, heap supplied the wise guys with their tobacco is well wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, which I had really have any real confirmation of that kind of it with a street smart enough to be able to see what was going on here. I think it
Boston and in general, everyone's like MAX two degrees, the separation away from some criminality and again I ll. But saw its now. I don't say that, with any judgment, imagined developing it lets everybody cross their fingers that that I can solve this show, but I'm actually developing the most amazing show right now that takes place in Boston, but we always see everything from the male point of view. We ve never seen a story from the female point of view, and this is a story from the female point of view. In its true story. It's so parallel to my own life, Super excited about it, and I just you know: I pray that all the planet's align ye. I don't think people understand the actual odds like so did it just starts with there's a development period where the networks, by a bunch of shows they by so many shows and then they develop them and then of
I don't know what it is. Maybe three percent get shot into a pilot and of those pilots, maybe five percent or ten percent of those gittha order and then of those. Maybe five percent get a second seas and it's really staggering yeah it really s and that's why it should be said celebrated when anyone has any kind of success, because the odds of yet having your you're better off the roulette table, honestly yeah. I read your Hollywood reporter article, which was really great about negotiating the last time around four graze in deciding like what you ve felt you deserved, and, and rightly so. So I just wonder: did you have to break rank single like none, I'm sick of the pace everyone's set out for this guy, I'm ready in a couple of things we can set out for that article to be what it was, so that was interesting as many experiences of it
press, often divergent different roads that you didn't expect. You never know. What's gonna happen when you do an interview really, and so I think you know I have negotiated several times on grace. Obviously now Like I say in the article, the only real power you ever halves, if your truly really willing to walk away yeah, you have to get to a point where you have to do something several times and is the only way you learn and people can tell you all day long, but you have to do yourself before you can really learn the lessons, and I think that I was just so beat down and sort of meant to feel that they could do the show without me, and you know everything they had always said. You know Patrick damn see leaving. The show was that for me I was like, I have a window here now. How are they gonna tell me they don't need me. You're. There are probably have to imagine they were least behind closed doors insinuating that they could do it with one or the other of you right
problem water, one one left through your like. Oh now, what's your game plan? Yes, what are you gonna tell me now you don't have him so now you can't use them against me and again. I think that is another very interesting experience now Having lived my life after that article came out is the feedback from people, and I was in such a unique situation because I had we'll dollar number that I could see how much grace anatomy had made fright. Can see how much a tv show or pod cast generates. So you have a real number. I can base my ask off of that number, a lot of girls, come up to me and say: will I go in and I tell them that I want this dinner and it's ok, but can you prove that you actually make any money for their?
money? You know right right, I'm like a weird thing like I was so grateful that so many women felt empowered by that article. But then I found myself in a weird situation because they felt empowered in a way that was sometimes unrealistic for them, because if you can't quantify you're worth with a literal number, then I can't go in there with that kind of bravado. It's a little tricky. So I was really had had a lucky sword near case the shows syndicated right, you'll reed or this thing just sold a cycle for I don't even know that show cells for half a billion dollars or something I don't know I think to Date- is generated five billion, but also, you know also what we have to mention that I didn't create the show gendarmes created the shell unless it's always an ensemble cast right, I mean you had a brilliant talent Sandra always brilliant. We have some brilliant actors. The list goes on you, so it wasn't just me all the time. There's you know a lot of contributing factors, but it's interesting when you too
about what s? Interesting about that, as I am using a real dollar number right in whether this is white privilege or not, we can examine that because awards dont really translate into money. You know it's interesting because the first couple seasons of grace anatomy- all the people that we're getting enemies their shows. I was like weight after gonna Emmy. Her shows off the AIR Sugar Council, then We got an Emmy hurt, shows off the air. He got an wait. He shows off here, all these people who want towards their shores
and even making at five or six seasons, and so it's also another interesting thing. Until look at that and say well, you know it awards, don't really translate into dollars. Awards are a popularity contest in feed your ego in and make you feel great and give a shiny object for them to distract you from which it will also when I say that article, which is, I think they do that to a of actress because they know the ego is the id yonder and they can dangled shiny object you, get an army here, we're just gonna pay you ten dollars, she'll get an enemy air, so we're just I'll get validated. I mean obviously you what you want to do things that are associated with being good quality, and hi, art and all of that. But I think that's another interesting component Morgan in fact- yes, which I was
we're gonna go for that. I was never gonna fall for that banana and the pipe I rather go do a cable shell for thirty dollars, got an army. Ya know cause. When am older. And you dont hire me because I'm old and then I'm gonna be broken Alan all. You don't wanna, be famous and broke diverse, the interview with Alan all up. I think the key to some sort of mental health is a sort of maintain stability and with acting you get these highs and lows. You're super hard. You dont hop everyone sending you guess everyone's inviting you to things. People are sending you dresses. People are tire amazing and then two years later someone else comes up and the dresses aren't coming, give start coming YO and then you're like. Oh my god, you know so keep us steady and not be wooed by all that those shiny objects? I think it is much much healthier in the long term what it did
uniquely harder on females, which are a y'all, never get paid. So of course you want that trophy cuz. You know the best someone's getting paid zero dollars and sixty cents on the dollar really the that a war becomes the only thing that will be equal in that eleven. Sorry to interrupt you, but white women are getting paid, sixty seven, dollar landline and are being paid. I don't wanna misstep here and say what I think is forty cents on the dollar and latino women are being paid less than that in our industry then show those yeah yeah yeah. So you're, uniquely penalised, financially and then, let's just be honest and the shelf life is like you might as well be in the end, a fatal. Historically, it's like thirty eight see that is uniquely harsh. You know live within actors. We joke regularly will be this horse and around and I'll go Tik Tok, mother fucker. I say now article first time I was
to renegotiate on graze. Six years after I started to show no thirty three by the time I first contract him up. I was thirty nine years old, and so I was had just had my first child and I was terrified. I was like I'm super type cast on the show. This shows a monster and I'm thirty nine, like all. Never work again? I better just stay here and how amazing the strive that actresses have made in the past ten years. Some I'm so impressed with all of these women who have gone into business. Who are two procures who are acting producing whatever it? Is there? So many actresses that have found a way to be entrepreneurs and do other things are. I think it's so inspiring and I M really proud to be amongst them. So I guess you ve run on the show for food teen years now. Sixteen sixteen you gotta be closing in on record now. Are you on earth were entering into seasons?
seventeen and there's a few records. I think we ve broken through wonder what your journey was over, going like. Okay, I'm going stay on this. It's gonna come at this price, but it has this benefit, and- and- and I want to do it yeah. I mean you go through obviously sixteen years and you at different once in your life, when you want to get off the roller coaster, you actually can you not in a year where you can get off the and then in a year when you can get off your like we'll wait. This is amazing. My commute is six minutes. I mean at this point. I am so blest that the executive producers of the show make my life so Fantastic that I have a very set amount of ours. I don't you know that I know exactly where I'm gonna be. I know exactly what time I'm gonna come home, I'm home for dinner with kids, every night, as all where you are in your life and kids, have a huge part to play in that.
Being a trailer and land midnight and be faced timing, my kids good night. I don't want to do that to them. Oh, my mother, diagnose, for I grew up without a mother, and I want to be home with them. Every single night- and I once they really brought them into this world, it really became about them I was in of thirty nine years old when I had my first kids or I've done what I needed to do. I made my choices and now I really just want them to have sort of the most structure that they can have on them in the most stability. It that's not to say that I'm gonna go forever. I'm not. Definitely I'm I go for ever because there's another element to the staying in a job for a law time. Is that I'm sure you'll recognize. You know last, until Washington directed an episode of Grey's season, twelve episode, one thousand two hundred and nine sound of silence. I didn't say one word to the whole episode. It was taken from a true story of a nurse who had been beat up by an epileptic patient
Oh I am so in the absolute I had my jaw wired shots. I could Milly speaking so Denzil came in and I said to him: how long did you stay on Saint elsewhere and he said to law, and he was literally on alone it for like two seasons or something I really yeah. Not everybody can do it. You have to have a certain constitution to be able to say this is me I, like the stability I like punching a clock because then, with that country you have to make sure you're not boring. You have to make sure your performances and boring. You have to make sure you're not phoning it in. You have to make sure you not aggravated because as much of a blessing as these things are in as much as we can recognise that it is a blessing there. Still, this biological component that sort of takes over we're like familiarity, breeds content,
yeah yeah. I know things that you loved about a person now, suddenly you can't stand, or just just that phrase is one that always comes up in my mind is like new year after year after year of doing something, I still love that person. Now all of a sudden, the way he flicks her hair drives me nuts, and that's like a really real thing and I've watched actors literally lose it like. They just go knots John there's an element to stay in the same environment. That also can drive people crazy and that's very real too, and that doesn't mean their bad people. It just means that the repetition of that and the lack of new things at night had does something to you to your mental health. Also have definitely seen it and doesn't mean people are bad people. It just means that their brain has had enough of that hamster wheel.
You're playing a character and that character is an archetype in that archetypes gonna drive all these stories, so you you're pretty bolted into who you are they're gonna. Let you go a little bit, but I found myself many times does mean for re like while he's gonna make this mistake again. Let me make that in season two and I learned learn something: it's like its blurry, your kind of bending your set of, or I would be or I'll tell you. I had a storyline where I had my first baby, and I wasn't connecting to those like Why am I that guy? I love my baby, like I love my fucking babies from day one and it's this other story. Where guy dads aren't this? Aren't we perpetuating that, like? I should be head over heels for this, get you know and I'm fighting for my own idea. Play my own ego and I'm trying to recognise in respect the show creator, but it gets more complicated, one would maybe think it's definitely challenging
and I think the story line has something to do with it. It's interesting because did you at any point you feel like the writers were just fucking with you no. They did I once I had my daughter, we named her Lincoln and then soon as that next season started. Had a girlfriend name Lincoln like there was another girl named Lincoln yeah it's. I won't expound too much on this because I'll get in trouble because there's definitely some crazy shit that goes on with respect to people, experience things in their real life and then all of a sudden on the show, the characters going through something in its torturing. This poor person in real life. I gotta think it's ok to do it. On the shoulders it you're gonna get some amazing performance out of it. There is some sort of sadistic thing, it goes on- and I have so many writer friends and I love writers and what's that, their brilliant genius, but they have heavy lifting too
yeah. I'm shows they have heavy lifting because they have to come up with these storylines week after week after week for these characters their box gin to writing for architects as well. So I think that some buttons get pushed just because there is some sort of control, and performance thing that they think they're going to elicit, but the not getting bored and not phoning it in its. Definitely, you know it's like guy, it's a marathon, not us Brent and you gotta know when you can slow down and when you can speed up- and I have to do- is try to check myself all the time. There's been whole seasons where, if there is to, much onset drama, going on my mind mechanism is really just a check out. You know, guy, which is definitely frustrating for other actors, because all actors work in a different way right. You have some actors who is super prepared, they'll, sit, all might study and think
about the way they're going to walk in the room and where they're going to put their hand- and it's never my style, I'm sort of more I need to be more in the moment- would be great seeing partners. I want to get scared in it. Wanna get surprise, and I want to get confused and find my way out of it exactly and so for me to answer your question about how I stay in it at this point, particular moment being engaged in this story and having some kind all over my story line and talking about things that I think are interesting, is kind of what helps you know what season, we get a lot of talking about healthcare and big farmer who deserts and big farmer you know. Is it
is an area that I'm super passionate about, and so with my character got to advocate a little bit for that we did a human trafficking story line, which was very important that some of the great thing about raising in what at this juncture keeps me going is because the show is such a monster. We have this enormous platform and we have some sort of leeway to talk about human trafficking, to talk about sexual assault, to talk about big farmer, and so if we can either in part Am I d, as you know, I think it's an important platform. So so I try to stay in place of gratitude now when you got the show, as you said back in two thousand five right, what we're your expectations at that time will, of course, you know I hated medical shows. I had watched through episodes if ye are in both times thought I was
I am so and it wasn't. It wasn't an audition. It was an offer, our guy, you know I had been doing movies. I've been doing small parts. I've been trying to do really good movies, but in good movie. Secondly, get really tiny parts right old school came out at that time. Right yeah, I didn't come on my own and they do not turn up such as parts mine and dare devil and some other things, but I get kept getting cut out for the most part. Well, let's earmarked for one second, yes tunnel, Son on my families of all time or not. It can make me cry. I can't imagine how heartbroken I'd be. If I had film that movie and wasn't that with these soul, gross hinder me yeah what's worse, as they don't really tell you that the cut you out right, delicate light into the premier, all you're sitting there with your agent and you're just like wait. I can't I've been cut out of so many movies that I can't remember. I can't you straight now, it's a long time ago, but but a generally indefinitely dare devil. My part was not big to begin with, but my part definitely got completely cut out. I'm in
for like a second lighting, is so bad. My skin looks terrible things like this weird shit How do we laid eying on my scar in my face, and it was just like the worst cases like this Ask me and dare devil really seven seconds, and it was literally the worst lit seven seconds. I've ever seen. In my turn, the knife winners Gnomon yeah. It was brutally too I needed money. So my agent was, like you know, Ellen just: do this pilot get the money, these things never go. I want to establish a fusion. He was like Ellen United sign. A show for six years is the single ever goal, because none of them go now look out, ok, he reminded you of the odds we talked about earlier, which you probably inaccurate thing to say, but not in this case Fisher. Now, what what's it like? when you're in the mixing. As you said, it's always I'm sure, there's like just allotted come to Jesus moments, where you like re, evaluate
Do I want to do it if I want to do it be for this amount in all these different things? How does when someone leaves the orbit? How does that shake all those convictions? Well, you know to be honest: when Sandra all left, a sham While I was I, how do I go on without Sandra because, as amazing is Patrick, is He wasn't really in the showed that much is impact is so huge. Obviously such an iconic part of the show- but more of my work data day seems were with Sandra and she such an amazing seen partner than I was like Is there a show without Sandra right? I ask
I had two way my options and like listen type casting is very real thing. I mean I think, that our counterparts have done an amazing job in this town, a breaking out of morals and viewed ass me fifteen years ago as a proud to be an actor. I wasn't really that proud me an actor. I didn't think it was that noble a profession, but I'm pretty impressed with a lot of strides that particularly women have made in the last ten years, but you know Sanders indifferent
kind of actor. She was on a super successful show before grace. She was on a show called, are less on HBO Yo, Yo Yo Yo, literally like the best thing about that shall agree, an e net. You never doubt whether centre owes gonna work again right. You should work forever right, but a me I was like you gotta. Think like am I gonna work again or am I just gonna, be so type cast women, Patrick left? It was different because when patch it left, I had something approve, because now we circle back to that negotiation conversation he left season eleven and then I was renegotiating season twelve. Why could have low? because the man left, which is not a story that I want to tell, but he's not here anymore, so I have to go right, so I had to say that that's the way then becomes you know. What can I do without the man because they had put that in my head for so long that no good without him. So then I had to then rewrite the ending of that story and say well whose rights are they
am I right am I actually good without him here I had to take over that script and rewrite that story and prove to myself that they were wrong in all the things they put into my head over all of those years. Also, the other thing was when I talk about rewriting the end of the story- and I said this before also was. It was important to me that we did have, and I said very publicly before we had a lot of issues with talks city on the set. Listen as every set does, because actors in the environment is ripe, for it is not nobody's fault. It's never one person's fault. There are many contributing factors that factor into a toxic workplace it never just one person or two people in its it's like a virus. It spreads catches. You see someone else acting bad, so you can go. Will they got that so I'll? Do that truth, stop your hand on the table. That's what you do you slapping animals out slap on the table, so you know it's. It's like a virus right so also after Patrick left,
I said: okay, I M gonna stay. I M gonna prove that they need me, but then also I really wanted to change the story of the expense, said the show, and I wanted to see if we could turn the culture around and we could make the set a happy place. Because it really had never been. It was a lot of bad behaviour being taught being shown being copied. So that was another challenge from me to see. Well listen. I have this opportunity to make this bundle of money because the studio needs me. But what else can I do? What else can I do for me to what other challenge can represent myself with, and that was that was that yeah to all those decisions I think are brilliant. I would hope I'd make all the same ones, but do your ego ever fuck You and you go. I I don't want to be the last person to leave a party who does that the language, of course all the time, China. I talk about this all the time like listen, I do not want to be
rapes dying on the vine like already to watch myself age around thirty three to fifty now onscreen, that's not so fun! You really see it because I'm in the same clothes right, I'm in the same character. So the way I see myself age It is, you know, that's a mother, fucker, oh yeah, and then about the story lines that the new storylines come your way. You start going like. Oh, I guess so. I haven't eighteen year old in this hour I yet I guess mathematically that makes it like a keeps making you confront how old you are like. Oh, I got a grand get on the way while we're there, ok, but at the same time I think the overall goal of my life. Is always keep my ego and track know, and it's like I dont want to throw myself lies like I don't lie about my age idle, put anything in my face. I don't want to
self any lies and doing myself any favours right, but certainly, I think, to dip out sooner rather than later, at this point, having done what we ve done to leave, while the show was still on top is definitely a goal are gonna try stay on the shell forever, no way I'll go out. The truth is, if I get you aggravated, am no longer grateful there. I should not be there stay to arm chair there. We are supported by a zipper crude higher. Is challenging, especially with everything else. You have to consider that, but there's one place you go where hiring a simple, fast and smart, a place where business can connect to qualified candidates that place is Europe dot, com, slashed acts, sip recruiter, send your job too.
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I'm slashed acts zipper greater the smartest wait, a higher pump about who we we are supported by Cause Box cause Box is great. This is something that I got for Kristen because it has so much stuff, mostly for the girls yeah, there's like cool. Scott silky. I man com where, yes, now, one of the boxes I got came with a t fruit in future tumblr a member's serve set with tongs o a spatula cutting board and instead of ten reusable face, pads and tons. Other great stoutness am the fall cause box. Just launch has over to hunt fifty dollars worth of sustainably made beautiful and useful products for less than fifty dollar lot idea. That's one fifth, the cost! Now they ve got bathrobes, they ve got Taos, they ve got all kinds of logic,
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a four year old new, looked at the little four year old you're like holy shit, you need me, you need me so fucking bad right now. I needed someone so fuck bad did it China different lens on the whole experience for sure. I think my mother was thirty nine when she died. I don't think she was all. I think she was You know this is not the first time the internet's wrong you now it has. I think there's a story about my mother was a psychic supposedly, and I think there was a story about them sitting around a table with her brother and sister, and I think they were eating dinner or something, and I think it was my mother's birthday Naxa think they said it was gonna, be if we, your your 40th birthday next, that destroy was told me that you know she shook her head, like she wouldn't make it to forty three. She was an attic say that as an attic? Yes, as it was told me my
Mother was involved in it in a car accident. When she was sixteen years old, she was hit by a drunk driver and frowned ninety feet in the air and pretty much broke every bone in her body. She was coming from church to go, meet my dad and she's crossing the street and guided by the strong driver and was in the hospital for almost a year. I think, and she was put on morphine and hospital and so the hospital I had her addicted to morphine, and I saw that I when she got out. She had chronic back pain, she had three slipped discs and pain. Management was what the system gave her, and I think that the overdoses accidental now did you have any resentment towards her as a kid. Where were you constructed this story where she chose something over you Fisher Fisher? Yes, I was a kid nature, also coming from an italian Irish Catholic family. No one talks about anything right,
This aim the whole yeah bearing grow up hearing stories about here or her or hearing her name is only if I ask you know stoop people Tommy stories were, did people Tommy source, very, very painful, for everybody involved. My brothers and sisters were really format of ages. They were teenagers and they had it really really hard, but yeah. I definitely when I was a teenager with soup.
Angry at her for leaving not understanding addiction, not understanding pain, not understanding any of that just coming from a completely ignorant place, just anger, yeah sure, and then, once you get older and you understand, oh, there is actually no help for diction, because no one back then talked about addiction, so she probably haddan zero help. Get the same scale was off the charts at that time in the seventies for sure names and seventy four, so that it turns to compassion and feeling really bad that she had nowhere probably go for help women having five children in providing not able to care for the kids all the time she didn't feel good. So then you feel compassion and sadness and then all my milestones like when I turned forty, you know or thirty nine of the age she was
I think she passed yes, then you field and forty one when you are living her love ya. What was she had been able to accomplish? Had her circumstances in life been different here and then I have this other thing worse psychiatrist. Wouldn't you have a field day with this shit? What it's like thinking that I'm gonna die when my kids are, for. I have that thing to of clouds I kind of em obsessed with death. I think about it all the time I think about my own death all the time I think always think I'm gonna die. You know, I always think something That can happen. I'm working on that is that driven out of knowing what a whole was in your life and how you just would not want your children to experience or your own fear of mortality. I think it's all of it, the tall of it. I just plain, I think honestly, maybe a psychiatrist break it down to this. If the first memory of my life,
is seeing my mother dead yeah. That's my purse memory that tells you that people are quite vulnerable in the world. That's the lesson you take away. I think we are. I mean That's I think impact did my synergies and that's immediately the pathway that my brain made many I got remarried and that was all fine. No, I wouldn't say I know I'll be mad at you- react to it like fish in water yeah. My dad bless his heart, really not the deepest guy I'll guys you're here with us any and he had his hands falcon. Here is my kids him, but he also still lived in the house, for this pair I got ladder of italian mom, Megan Sunday dinner and doing here during exactly my grandmother, making Sunday dinner treating them like you say he never left his press. That way, you know my pen, I warned you got married and had five kids in my dad's parents house,
on their own house. So you know, of course, my dad needed someone else to talk. Men at night. She now immediately after- and you know he married like nine months after my mandate, which was you know, really demonstrate. You know he probably needed comfort. He probably couldn't regulates the feelings, but without the addition of some one helping him regulate, the feeling I mean I'm sure was survival on some level, of course, that that's like such a traumatic thing. Yeah, you know it's not like my mother was in the hospital with cancer and may move it. And was coming you this gorgeous vivacious woman with this personality. Everyone probably left a lot of stuff on sad, which is haunting ones and eyes unexpected totally, so I think that you know that came I was so traumatic, so dramatic for him soon. You carefully, I mean you can, but it's not productive, to judge how people respond to trauma
yeah I mean certainly should have done a lot of things differently. Absolutely an ill cry felt like also like all my kids need: a mother. Oh yeah, yeah survive. You know so you know there's that kind of weird backwards. Seventies mentality was like. Oh, let me just get someone else in here I mean you should check and make sure that that person is ready to be. A mother to children who just lost their mother. He has is this measure was invented for the hack into baby. He must have been so good. Looking me, how he landed at check with six kids is a miracle yeah. He had five kids and she had a son who is my age- was my brother dean, who I love. My dad was super handsome really tall really have some kind of look like a combination of chunks, Marion Tom Salad I'll bring it Andy ass as the ideology, the mustache. The
Would she closed the whole thing, my sister and I used to drive to the beach and wish to see my dad a standing at the beach. We knew was him because he had super dark ten and he was in full clothes. He always he dressed. Really Well? There was always a circle of women around him in all eyes. He must have the perfect job. Because he just drove around all these different areas. He probably like eighty five sets of friends at the different stores and people flirted with and the whole thing less been a real ideal thing for him. Ass. My am I other car salesman which just worked out beautifully for him as wealth right right Now, when you, you eventually love Massachusetts, and then you down to Miami first, what was to be in Miami. The goal was: bunch of my friends had moved down there. All my gave friends had down there and they were like this. Is the next place? It's amazing, it's hot, its gorgeous the rent, a super. She should come down here, so
My friend and I went down there and it was before you know it hadn't gentrified. Yet at all, it was still like that. Seen in Scarface Euro, all the buildings were dilapidated and we were staying at the fountain, blue hotel and they're. Just giant scorpion like walked across the floor, and I was like I can't stay here. I can't live here, but really there was no way for me to work right. There was one gave are there is nowhere for me to work. So I went back to Boston and then my friend call we up again with six months later and he said a straight bar opened up. You can get a jobs cocktail, waitress there should come back and then it was the winter was the debt of winter. You know there is definitely some things in Boston than I was involved with. It was not place so, like you know why, if I stay here, I'm gonna end up dead jail or something bad is gonna happen. So then I went in
Annie and there was one club is call rebar. I had a lot of cocktail, waitress experience from Boston and I got that job in than estate. I stay there for three years and then I left then the right when I landed, you obviously have started gentrifying right. There was the one club and then in two years it was just like a completely different place right and then by your three. It was really crazy. When, like the Versace Mansion was completed, and all that stuff in it was just that was getting crazier than I thought I need to sort of you're out what I'm gonna do with my life and go after, and I can't sort of be down here and then someone went to New York where you just into model where you aiming to act. While I was really just aiming to act, but in Miami a couple of scout's honor, they still have them, but like then, these two have modeling scouts and a bunch of people would always what to me and say: hey, you know what we want and I was really I'm really shore and only five six and a half the began model in some.
Thing really not interested in and I'm not tall, and but I did get a few free trips up to New York City. The agency's brought me up to New York a bunch of times it to go on castings and meet photographers and stuff, and I got to get a little bit comfortable hanging out New York and being in New York on my own. I would go into these rooms and then be like twelve girls in the room. There all nine feet tall and the horse s and there's me and you you go in the room and they look at the pictures that you have. They not linked to you at all or joining. It was just like and I was like hey what you know me. I'm like you, want to buy a watch and it was just like based on like what you look like a photograph- and I was just like. I don't think this is really for me. I have way too much to say, then I went back to bar tending. I got a job in a soon after that knows can't doing the same thing
we're going on castles in the day and bargaining at night, and then I made an agent when I was bar tending than she sent me on some additions and I I got them and got a book and stuff. Yes, dear you gotta, nor a party of your bartender. I've had some of my best friends of you know been bartenders own bars in that You got a walk, the walk in that line work not yet not really, because if you're inebriated, you can't count- and you can't you don't know how much people are tipping. You and you have to stay super Clare and focused so that you can take off, money from the guys that are drawn lasting. You ass. I had a completely different hustle going on. It was not male oriented, it was not finding a boyfriend oriented. It was money, job course. I guess I haven't Emma right. I guess I kind of always did, but I grew up a wise dies, so No, I'm really like really Oda and good fellows, like I grew up.
Enamoured with these wise guys who seem to have all this money and power. They drove nice cars. They were beautiful, suits they had beautiful girlfriends who work for. Four coats. I grew up in NAM or with the power that of money, gave them I what I'd probably didn't realize they probably kill people to which gave him a lot of power, but I wasn't really cognizant of that fact. Ok, so I a very similarly obsessed with powerful criminals. My whole life I've, given it a lot of thought like what. Why am I first thing is just I'm. I'm impressed with people that, through the sheer power of their will, can make something happen, but I do think, if I'm more honest with myself, I felt less than and then I was not going to be invite
some fancy school or some fancy anything, and I think I wrongly evaluate like I want that shit, I'm gonna get that shit and I'm gonna have to get it through. Hooker crook like that, just it's not and I didn't see the path there was no one. In my family that had done it. I just thought I will not leave this planet without a fast car that I am so. How am I gonna get it like? I wonder what years was rooted in I dont know, I think, maybe the death of my mother. That's a very powerless situation around. You have absolutely no control over that aspect. Right is something that you want more than anything in the world that you can never have yeah. So you know maybe there's a sense of control that you need, or I definitely knew that did not want to stay in Boston, and I just
We knew that everybody around me was either short of drug dealers, drug attics criminals. I didn't grow up with doctors and lawyers, the rush or right you know, so I didn't grow up with those examples. I dont think I was search king for better role models? I think I just knew there is more to life and there was more out there in the world then to be behind a b or sea, and so I definitely wanted to out of there, I knew the only way to get out of there was to make money yeah. I am
various having lost your mother. What would you say that impact had on how? Well you do with other women as an easy makes for you, or has it been challenging or no no effect whatsoever? I dont know that the loss of my mother has anything to do with my relationship to other women. I will say that I'm not competitive with other women, necessarily I'm competitive with myself, and I put a lot of pressure and myself. I really love women ends. I I ain't more so than not. I think women don't like me. Ok, I don't feel a lot of love from her a lot of women NASA to see I've never been competitive with women. Of course I've been competitive like it or not. You are in a competitive feel but, like I would say like in Seen on the show, you know not to say that I would never have
tension with women are be competitive, with women, of course, there's always natural stuff, but but by nature, I'm not like a tidy, funny enough. I'm a pretty dominate person, my husband and I will tell you I'm a type personality and I'm pretty bossy and all that stuff, and I guess I'm not maybe the best person to sort of judge myself. I don't feel threatened by other women, ass, a yeah. That's not really my thing. I really want to be friends with other women. I don't think that has anything to do with lose my mother or not will by the way I want to tell you I didn't ask that cause. I ever heard anything. I have no idea like I'm, not circling some feud that I dont know about. I dont know I am asked because I didn't have a dad around, so they have an intense authority, complex issue with man, so you have conflict with. Man is well well men and or de position. Ok, I'm through not having
a dad around. I searched out so much approval for my peers, my mail peers. I was looking for someone to say you're a man. It's happened, you're doing things than a man does, and I was very susceptible to wanting the approval of my mail peers because I was getting it elsewhere, so I just think it it. It certainly impact it ain't like again a lot of it for better, I think ultimately like stuff. I love about myself as a result of that an end also I've I've been difficult if you're, an older dude trying to tell me what to do with I've made a miserable for people, and I you know my fall, but at the same time I think it is rooted in that. For me, it's interesting your opinion of yourself in your self aware,
of that trade that you haven't, we're comes from, I think fit for me. I hope I hope aware, but I think that a lot of is perception and not actually, who I am. I I think with many women were super tough and strong and have to be because we ve been through so much so that other women perceive us as something that one not because I had slick hard outer shell cause. I've had to protect myself for so long. Inside I'm really a super softy. You know, so I think sometimes I'm perceived in a way that isn't really cool I am inside. What I dont think just men are massaging is that I think that the whole society in the whole culture in all of our softwares massage monistic, so I think even women are massage monistic in that they will easily, like men, do file someone who is strong and self determined as a bitch. Yes, you speak about yourself, you're a ditch right, so I think even women unfortunately succumb to that same cat.
Borys if you speak up for other women. That's also considered I've learned to be a sort of trigger sure we're not boo hooing you, but I am going to add one element. This is the last question I have witches. You have those things we just talked about right. Where is if you, if you stand up for yourself on set your you're, not assertive your a bitch and that's a bummer you're going to age out quicker than men that fucking sucks you're going to get paid is much that blows, and then I would say the final aspect in this is when I can speak to very personally intimately is. It is a very tricky dynamic for a woman to be making more money than their husband if they
grew up when we all grew up. I imagined may be millennials. It's easier for, but I think the male ego and being the provider, and that's all you know I know for me it was quite an evolution of like I'm not comfortable with the notion that she's makes more than me it's it's hard for me, a stupid, as that is some category. They got unchecked of manhood and it took four. R us. For me, it's not her problem having children and actually recognising like oh. This is all for. All of us were all safer because of this like check your fuckin ego and enjoy this amazing give. But you know I've been silver, sixteen years ago two meetings every week and it took me seven years to get comfortable with that right. Well, I'm super lucky for the fact that from the same area Cresson I or your yeah. So all well, we didn't really know each other growing up. We had mutual friends all so
she really knows the cloth that I'm cut from here. He gets it, So he really understands that my sort of hustle mentality- and he also had to scrap coming up to so we don't really have any issues. Thankfully, in that area, like probably once a day, it'll look at me and say are used autonomy. Who were you talking to urge enemy but other enough? So because my town, I guess I get you know. I have a few Reno people that work for me in my town. I'm just like you know that Bush. Can you just cut that Bush No, don't cut it on an angle, and then You know. I've is very similar out, as I guess it was. You know you're gonna get you down and I like to get shit down, and sometimes I have a certain tone when I need to get your done and it's not all.
My feelings about it. I am have the heart exterior. Then I just need to get through some things, and I need you to do that, and I need you to do that and you know, and in that yes, sometimes I I talked to him in the wrong town is what our thing is. Has he ever said? you guys. I've said to my wife and its caused great fights for weeks at a time, I'll I'll just go, oh, hey! you know I don't work for you. Right was sure it's been Sentinel and I know other women who also make a lot of money whose husband say that too, would really have to be careful not to emasculate. Why it's embarrassing that you would have to tiptoe around our fragile egos. I'm only met, but also I have bad I've had that feeling where I'm like. Oh no, no, no, no work as we have these kids together, but I
get a lives from anybody in life. I burn them right that out of you love the less than anywhere near for sure it takes a really coffin it man to be able to deal with us. I think that relationships are more healthy and not being interrelationship because it someone to hold a mere up to your own behaviour and say: hey you, don't you realize you do this, which you know he has that too He turned to the same way as that Boston to he has a tendency to talk to people in a certain way, and I have to say to him: I you don't know how you sound, but when you talk on the phone with a woman, you not to really be careful not to say that my wife, my wife, I bet that's the most common sentence said in our household, is I don't think you recognise that you're much taller than everyone in Europe.
Says, louder and deeper. You need the check in with that alone, but I'm just a person like every other person who wants a fuckin state, their needs, I'm sorry it's coming from higher up off the ground, then also. I now really feel like I'm from a different generation where all these kids are amazing. Also need order. Is another interesting thing as much implicit bias as there is and systemic racism and six systemic sexism, and all of that right and this new generation of kids- and I personally am in all of them in and so inspired by the their ability to call things out and say: that's not okay and we didn't do. They do have to sort of understand that it's all we knew you know like saying. Oh I've said things in the past which I'm not going pigs on our structured again a familiar, but you know the truth is we grew up in a certain time and things were a certain way and we came up in a certain way.
Doesn't mean it was right, but we're all we know is in on twitter. There, like used a machine. You use a fuckin, fax machine I use a faster sheen. If all we had am sorry, I was back switching but what's interesting is cancelled culture. What these kids are doing now, that's! Actually, I would like to think in twenty years or in thirty years. I know this is pretty unrealistic, but I would like to think that human beings are so involved in twenty or thirty years that we're Like wow, you used to cancel people you used to get online and Bali people we get in so much trouble for the practices of our past and things that we let slide and things that we never call people out on the other ignore alive. We We ignore Latin. We do. We know any better. That was the societal norms there
society more now is bullying these young kids want to point out all of our flaws in everything. That's been wrong with us, you know and then there's a lot better. You got shit yourself, I mean Willow, Smith, came out and was so brave and amazing and said something about cancel culture and help. There's no teaching me with and cancel culture, and I think that cancel culture in online bullying with social media is our sexism and racism of twenty years ago So there is a great to partner on the daily about cancel culture, and what's really interesting that I have just learned from it was. It is really sounding. If you look at Paul its view. Harry Unanimous that people don't like it that expression in itself cancel culture, elicits a negative reaction from the vast vast majority people, but what's interesting as it means different things to different people right, so the right might be about
until one aspect, but it has some pretty left, leaning journalism on there and one of the points they made, which of course, I evaluated was in an attempt at progress in progressive values which we should have an then calling out the errors. It is also uniquely on progressive to be the judge, jury and executioner. We, like the progressive values, actually value a due process system in it and values that we prioritize never putting an innocent person away at the cost of letting some guilty people go. That's our system, that's the progressive system we all fought for. So there is something inherently not per se. Of about the progressive cancel culture, which is very relevant, but I will say with my own, I'm also comedian, right I am a talk too much and I say bad things. So I've lived in me. You know very specific fear of the whole thing, but I I do have to recognise that a lot of people have pointed out to me: you're not gonna, get cancelled if they find out
You were in black face and nineteen. Eighty two, when you are seven at a birthday party, you're gonna get cancelled. If they point that out- and you dont say yes that's regrettable in a bummer and that's what was happening back then, and I look back on it bears the shit out of me in it should never been acceptable and I whole thing's things embarrassing. I'm sorry! I do think that is a part. That's missing! I do think when the people get and sold generally. They haven't just owned. It. Apologize moved on, I dont think were seen a ton of people getting cancelled. Who owned the mistake and apologize? I am hopeful. I do think in general is generally people, digging and then the other people like foggy. I got nukes. Let's do it right, so you know, I think I've overreact. Get out of fear of it a bit. But then I think about this. When you and I were sixteen and eighteen- there were people, I hated in the media hated David Duke I hated all these people, but what was I going to do? Tell my friends, you don't even know who David Duke is now so then I just stop thinking about it, because there is no outlet.
If I could have got online and said David, Duke you're, fucking, coward, loved me you had Arby's, I would of there's no crashing. We didn't have a voice. Who are you I M playing to the local newspaper right? Miasm, kids are so lucky they have this platform. In of in, and I would have used a do so. I'm trying my hardest stay non fearful about all, and also pointing out when it's it's totally on progressive in illiberal to be doing this, Well, listen. I've had a ton of fun talking you I'm so excited now, when we finally bump to each other. We know virtually everything about one another and it should be just like family pay. Barreaux hang immediately reassure this was my index. Thank you. So much I'm good we gotta make it happen. We go back to home schooling, yeah or not be well good luck with the bombing you. Ok thanks! That's right
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They have knowledgeable agent standing by helping you get personalized coverage. All this is backed up by award winning easy to use technology. It's a great price in an even greater service when you want the real deal like neighbour state is there My favorite part of the show the fact check, but my soul maiden Monica bad men. Happy what's that from a get a drink Stevie wonder it is, I think, so I love Stevie, wonder I made here. I just thought it was from like a parody show schedule you do bow Herbie nothing. It's still wonder at our real saw, leaving his closest friends com, Steve, wonder I think they can't Stephen Stephen. Yeah, give away What Stephen wonders on happy birthday
yet that one you just saying my baby, I don't know what's yours ribbons and the sky has I ravens in the sky for our around new doo doo, doo doo la. I don't think I've ever heard it I was at a dream, carried the weirdest dream, Junior high want to have a daughter named epiphany. That was because I was least oh nays name, of course, here but The holder he and unwanted park in here in the sky. I do. I have done quite a bit of dancing with Lincoln to ribbons and this love Lee yeah. Let me only play for is it's beautiful men replacement,
Some embarrassing for see. You got all this out now and again, so now That is a way to do this.
Where and we so that ribbon in the sky, ready, then Ozma. I really don't think I've heard in God, I'm so jealous to build use your mouth is. Instrument like an amazing. I see. I think you could do it. I think you have enough scale that if you I need take last year Some lessons. I think you could scare. Maybe you can get me some lessons from it. Yes, I will how's your birthday going. Well, what's
it's going gray. The grave all my wishes came true when I blew out make him balls. They all came true, so I'm really lucky. They maybe get you anything. I dont accept gifts from my baby war. No excuse when you're babies make it like a drawing. Oh, if you like, makes me macaroni, salary, yeah, hey denying us hung. Thank you. Ok, you know it all. She could really give me is like a p, some stately splash. She could probably drip like a smiley face on some control from power. We hang that up on my, I don't want her. Feel limited by the fact that she can't his very well, she can do much stuff. He's gonna sit in the toilet, bull. But you're right. Maybe it's like there's hidden, talons wheedle. No about where we are acting like she is living.
Patients able unanimously we wander exactly not to compare steaming downwards. Our people, our no. No, no, she might surprise yeah. You know I've been a lot of people are like see. We wondered, can't be musician abusing this stuff. There is low there's a conspiracy theory on line that Stevie wonder, can see. I've asked yes, I've actually went down the rabbit whole ones, and I got to say there is one freaky moment were like a MIKE stand for any catches. Yeah, I know, but it's because their sensitive zone are yeah well about sonar o hearing like echolocation. Yet will you know that, amazing radio lab. Oh, my god, I have to find the name a bit. Ok, so the package is called how to become Batman its. Invisibilium podcast wishes an emperor podcast, but it's such a good episode
our expectation is that where member nations we put on people and how people meet those expectations right by he's a blind man and he rides is by gathering where a while he'd, like basically learns Oh, he collect land starve, yeah, that's so cool and needs teaches all these other blind, kids and there's like some kind of see because he can be like hard on. You know it's like gary- and here I really expects them to like. I feel like that one part of it was. He was teaching this one kid and they got to the point where alike he had a cross the street I now and then the parents like had a job back. He doesn't like that. It's such a good I have now right, I'm gonna, listen to that as one of the best episodes
right now. Ok, my bedroom and listen. Do ok, Bob you were at my house right now because of the heatwave PETE Way we have numerous issues in the attic. There's been electrical issues and the lights don't go on a couple. The plugs work, most don't motorcycle accident daisies Gov organ than a word firm in their ears, so we ve just move camp back over demonic goes. When I got here, she offered me I guess waters is we offer me, but I heard, would you like an? Would you come on you know, I think I said the Greek I said very quickly. Are you ok, oh and then you thought I asked a new just how great a b, if, when you went to people's homes, they For you some money, rejoice in money ends or some water or no one. No one offers anyone onions anymore, maybe in Washington in Wall Wala the wall, Walla Sweet Onion Festival in people, got there in the eat of the union
like an apple raw, sweet yeah. I've ever had one now. Are you one of those people who eads tomatoes like an apple I've never done that. Now now would you know, now because I how well do you think I'm just collapse and turned a bush. I can that yeah. That would be my fear, but you love the taste, love tomato me to love him. So much I used to really be into making heirloom sandwiches on white bread, with some miracle whip in pepper. What a good sandwich show you, one of those four. Yes, we is monocles birthday week, so I'm gonna be making every night of the week gonna make something special. I got what's on what's on the menu, while the twelve chicks per can chicken sandwich yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah tuna? Being a man may be the young, those scramble I've been told me about that. I never get around. I love that the shallots. Can I tell you, I don't know if I can accept this, because your crippled right now
here, but I shall do all you can do it I'm fine, I can make it happen. I feel guilty, don't feel guilty, feel loved I do feel love and I also feel guilty. This is what you we all right now, yeah man, I'm going through so many thing. Yet, let's talk about it. Well, you know I was as your cause has didn't even say it on here that I have been in jerk as they don't like. By the way. I figure really. What was at the root remember. I said I don't want to be someone who got attention for getting injured yet and I realize the couple days later, because my father is a very funny story. The first time my father Unchristian ever met she was on for Christmas in Michigan in she took it upon herself to ask him if you want to hang out- and he picked her up at her house and she got car in oh look at these any region is back, see any pulled up X. Rays. Extracts up. This is so interesting that the first thing
upon meeting was show me some extra. So I think that's all but where comes from, he got in a lot accidents and you get a lot of attention and I just was worried. He kind of with manifest these accidents ass, a source of attention, but anyways after we spoke of it. Then some people were concerned and then so I want to show the ok and I certainly appreciate that. But then I posted a pitcher to show like Almo K, gather you loved her. You bet I was like smiling show. Every one was in good spirits, dagger misinterpreted think also goes. I cocky Oh really care. I don't know that there is some news headlines like Fox NEWS. Really ugly pitcher me and they took the quote when we were talking nets. What was entirely my fault. I should have assumed that's some writer could turn in early right into all. It says is yes, it was my fault in this ugly, for me. Oh my god, is that it was my fault there
Oh, so you know what they're trying to do. There is get people to like me Y know that, like to click on it, because they probably think that articles about you, cheating, oh yeah. Maybe they are Suno Nicky. I I don't like facts ass. Well, here's what I thought I was thinking a mortal offended by that, because I think I'm pretty fair to Fox news. I say that I watch it when I'm in hotel room so that I can understand how other people are feeling about the same topics I learned about on CNN, like I try to give it a shot and so for them to kind of throw. This has all been annoyed by, but then it is kind of but in up in a lotta news outlets. I just have such complicated feelings about that, and then people reaching out to me it's hard for me. Do now, there's a lot of layers. One is, if I may,
troll of being vulnerable. I like it and now I'm not in control being vulnerable. I dont like yeah, so yeah does have no control over it started. Is in tiny and then you know I got a lotta emails from a lot of people have and spoke to in a while and then their worried about me. Then I feel guilty and then some people are, you know, they're taking me to test already motorcycles like it's a chance. Tell me to stop and yeah and all of that, and it also I feel very love such as very complicated. It is complicated, it's ok, it's more complicated than it really is it's not very complicated. People are concerned about its among its emotionally complicated for you and that's, ok and it's good to recognise that. I think that vulnerability part is a good thing to Iraq. Nice and raw. I've decided, as it clearly there's a big lesson for me to learn, because I should just be receiving this. Love and people carrying about me, which would be the nice way here, but the lack of control or feeling
wireless over at all or that it got just got away from me. Yeah yeah, I don't know. It's hard was only a baby no longer, but I think it's good, because you know this podcast is about vulnerability, and we expect that from people, and we expect that from ourselves any and each in your re it it's a sort of a different thing when vulnerability is practised or like you, ve already come to terms with something and then your expressed saying war yeah I've I've been of admitted that I'm guilty on this podcast of sharing things em. I was vulnerable that have overcome. Beyond that. I realise that I am not is transparent about current issues. I have what are they? Everyone does but is new. I have a goal of being better at the piano, so I guess here
that it's like real time vulnerability. I haven't lake. Did I'm not all better, I can't say out no big deal and I'm fine yeah which, by the way, I'm fine until we find here. I had a great doctor monsieur I love you. He put my shoulder back together and Thursday ass if he was all good now feel stable, yeah in your healing nice, and I say I'm nervous about, I feel like we will have a leverage against me now to say, like stop writing motorcycles, which I dont want to stop. Do you think it's that or do you think it's every time they say it forces you to have to think about. Whether or not you should stop or but how reckless was it or you know I think I dont cause. I don't think he will maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like a strange. It tells you religion be running motorcycles, abnormally you'd be Billig whatever. I condemn this and has no well that's a great point like IE, as I always say, of a bother you there's something behind it and if it does, if there is a saying,
two short I wouldn't even think about it. Yet The really weird parallel witches, my hero, Valentino Rossi. Last week in the middle JP race. There was this crazy accident that I've never seen. One of this vote, in ten years of watching motorcycle raising where two guys crash by find him on the straight away and he was in it turn, and they both came off the bike. So the bikes just continued forward at like a hundred thirty miles an hour, and then they got airborne and so he's just going turn it probably like. Sixty in these two bikes comes, wine, one bind and one in front of him, and if you please There is a moment where there's like it's crazy, there's one two feet in front of him: on tv from behind a pulse would have been lights out, deadly, airy, scary and it's funny cause? I guess I immediately thought. Here's Valentino he's forty two he's the best right. All time is one nine championships, he's in the least significant part of his career in what
something happened, that's tragic, yeah and then I saw him in the press conference in their like the debate you think about retiring, and he said well and retire and what when I retired, into going to car racing like I want to continue to raise its what I love to do. I'll, be in my farm writing horses, which is dangers or be writing motorcycles at my track at home. So no, I don't really think this is my life in that that, and I thought he can say that, because that's his profession, so he has like this cover fire. We now hear, and I can't say that it is not much time what I own a living on right. I think he can say it because of course he is people who love him and who would be incredibly devastated and heartbroken. If something happened to him, but he's doesn't have a family,
so the people who would be devastated, probably dont, need and are not dependent on him. Yeah known he can make kind of more rapid decisions and I think the difference Maybe I mean I know you love it so much, but there's other things. You love like you. You know when we were talking to a tool you are saying you want to be able to talk. When we able to communicate lemon to do this for the rest of your life you up, and so you could still do all that and give up the dangerous thing see now. You're totally, do you think there's any validity to people really don't die of the track?
now people die in the street. If someone saying like you should stop riding on the street, you've got a pretty good argument to make. You know people do die on the street, but in general people don't die in the motorcycle track. It's crazy rare! You know rarer than other, benign sports, that people do or horseback riding more people get paralyzed and stuff doing that. So like on the track its vote. Yes, you people break bonds and I broke some bones, be of a home in on, and people not really they just generally don't die when in you over on this area easier. I just I don't know you know I've got months to think about. I haven't met it. Do not writing in twenty. Twenty four is the other thing I was gonna say just might offence, and then I concede everyone, I'm gonna have to concede,
I have been riding on the track for sixteen years and that's the zoos and my first accident well on track and think that's relevant to curse. You know yeah. We one thing like every year I went down, but I did get her twice now within six months, which is You could make an argument, my my faculties, or now they are in which such as I was actually getting much better. I think I play code as a writer on the track, but over the last year of better and I've been really into an I've been taking more instruction Ivan sending better and I've gotten much better, and I was like I'm getting better at this is feels great yeah yeah, I'm not telling you that today, by the way he I know you know ever I just care valiant the YAP and it's my birthday it your birthday, sir. You have to listen to me. Ok, I will. I will ride today
okay, Ellen Pompeo, Ellen Pompeo. Well, this is like far down the list, but I just want to start with it. She was talking about how like sometimes things from the real real and up in the show and whole year about like whether yeah yeah hookers okay, so you said that you had link and then there was a care, a girlfriend character, name link in the very first episode back it season. Five episode, one, but I also two thousand thirteen and there is a girl named Lincoln should but she's not related TT used Sarah has a new text: There are some thing and he's young and high needs like foreshadowing that they're, probably gonna write. He comes in two pair, something in his girlfriend comes in and is all drunken.
Her name's, linking our do. I just after I saw in the arm chair was being just been too sensitive about it. There was really like they thought they were doing acute nod. That was in the phase, or else you're like putting a blanket overhead when we left the house arrest paparazzi on that front yard right. I think I was trying to like down Blaine. I was also in period, where I was not going to tell anyone or name like all this plan was like. Oh, I was you know, feeling very yeah court protective more now. I would recognize it is probably a nod: yeah, ok, so how many seasons was Denzil on Saint elsewhere, six moons honour for sixty since then. What did she say? He said they hated her get offers. She asked him how many seasons did she do Saint elsewhere? He said to many or something I don't even know if I knew he came from Saint elsewhere
either you are, were you born? Then let me see we're thirty three. Today, Happy birthday yeah, we reserve, and he was honour from eighty two. Eighty eight, although he was one years old, one years old, but I do oh, how that show an will you do as I don't you don't know. You know how he ends yeah. It's like one of them. Yeah, I know so little about seen elsewhere. Oh this is historic, historic finale, Saint elsewhere. Hospital yeah about a hospital. And the last episode is here in the hospital. I think I don't know he's in hospital, but I think he is and is playing with the snow, go and look into the snow Globe and its saint elsewhere. So this whole thing was happening in his mind. Oh my gosh, I
There you down milk. Is that tells you everything you saw it didn't happen. I know boy did happen in his mind. This is, Might the only episode of sopranos I didn't like was tony soprano? Had food poisoning yeah, so the whole episode was him having these weird like terror nights, the dreams- and I was like None of this happened but you knew that the whole time right, I can't remember if you did or not. I just remember like it feels like a cop oh, I don't know, I love it. I mean you ve been watching for sole one. I think it's tied in for Saint elsewhere, because I dont you know I have to look at unless we get exactly right. We don't get sued by the people of Saint else now, yet the served as a series of final episode in this noted for having one the most memorable moments in town,
vision, history. Oh you got a right. It is not with the kid. If he like is the kid God will. Thus I won because, if you find out who God is at the end, that that's kind of worth that you'd feel ok about that this a normal kid. What else? this, has led to he imagined all those weird storyline. This is what I wanted to check before I set. It agrees. Autistic. Ok, he's an autistic boy, but also this was an eighty eight. That's like Earl to be talking about. I had never aren't as well, because first them, heard about autism was rain man all right. The shine why, on that they even collar autism. They did did ok, I need to use the term idiot savant. I don't think they do any more, but Maya but yeah and you know Raymond's based on a real person and they ve done to sixty minutes specials on. The real life rain man.
And he lives in Utah and his dad takes into the library, every in he reads, two pages it same time with his left eye and one with his right eye he's red virtually every book the library rarely, and he can tell you anything you can ask. The weather was like on at any given day in history. You can ask about the subway system, and I mean it's insane what his brain can hole at some miles and his first interview versus the next one. Like a twenty year gap. He learned all these social cues cause Leslie stalled it the peace in cities seems like he's more. You know we call it because well, you know he's observe what he should do it. It doesn't necessarily feeling the same thing you are, but he knows what to do. Yeah I mean how do I say this about it being bad, just circling back to Stevie, wonder and the p baby. Ok
he enjoyed by all these things in your eye, tied together and Stevie. Wonderin Sunday is youth that when you think there are limitations, actually gaining so Then you'd be known, and I think it's important forum amber than set of just like classifying o this person has this, so they just can't do acts Y. Thus, not necessarily true, well yeah, I've brought it up in reference to the guy that there was the vanity fair article about who became the big of funding. Niger, the problem, the big sure, yeah christian bales character here, that I had a ass, eyeball from a young age? so he attributed all of his social awkwardness too. That glass eyeball man in so he became a surgeon. Then he became a trader in each year. I do wonder. If he had been labelled something if it
a limited, what he would have tried, your or as parents, what a steer them away from things, but that's there have become bamboo yeah. We know this all testing our son. I say everyone on purpose. You our full joining here, I don't even know is walking into this whole thing. I now I played my role just Legged Dumdum violence, pepper, okay, so so Denzil directed at the sound of man, I'm such a good job connecting anyway, I'm so impressed with more said, Denzil directed the sound of silence episode where she has her job wired shuts. It doesn't speak and that's based on she said a real life situation that happened where a guy, I beat up a nurse post, seizure, Hannah most epileptic and he beat up a nurse and she she's gonna, set a very quickly, and I was like white like that's a thing that happens with epilepsy, because you know I have
yeah breeders- I mean now is my fear. So then I started looking up. You can happily post aggression, o seizure what if we were injure me and it becomes a news and people tell me to stop hanging out with you like riding motorcycles. Looking watch me bring it all back. I think that's. What have you been up? Really bad in your posts? Epileptic rage, and I am I want my mouth wired. German people go. You gotta, stop Monica go! No, no is worth get my jaw wired occasionally I'll, keep at it. Just like models, I I don't like this comparison. Mary money, yeah there's pose seizure, hyper aggression, this kind of Gary. I wonder if I had any. I don't think I do but that reminds me of the some crazy. I saw nothing. I've told you about it when I lived they won bedroom apartments, Santa Monica mine
a on the ground floor, one apartment over o deed. I heard the paramedics and everything so I nosey, so I went and looked in the window was wide open, so I watch the whole thing he was on the ground and is kind of like he was gone. Greenish or yellow like it really his skin was had become a different color and then make gave him a shot and may said are, but your knees his chest. They basically prepared the paramedics. It he's gonna get. Why the old rounds out of this, and so they have pinned down when they did at last and he didn't wild. He just like like when he came to very much like what is going on where these people in mind Yeah, wonder if that's similar to this, I bet because I, like a few years very good. I do remember that, like being so disoriented, You're in a weird place, you feel like its lifer yeah fighter, flatter flight ban. You may, I guess, have aggression review to be Molly up in bed,
Luckily, all the people that were there much stronger than any other, I did chrism heavy stuff. He answered no stage rooms in that room on wanting Nope. No just mainly want ok, so few of the grave records longest running scripted prime time show current airing from an episode, video three hundred or some that's your gas. There must be more than that. Well all you. Normally, around a hundred season, five ray June twenty four year YAP fortresses enforced, I I dont army. They do year, the bride. You like twenty two were twenty years, do I now well, but the first season was less so might be closer to like three seventy years. Three hundred and seventeen three seven yeah in our long ran. So it's like doing a hundred and sixty movies.
So I could have done seventeen years of parenthood. I gotta watch seventeen years forgot, ok, see you talk to him about the pay inequity. Women get paid, sixty son Somebody dollar end in our old measuring the area. The things like eighty seven since just across the board sent my hair and what I found was- compared to men and most professions, women make eighty cents to the dollar, but then I guess Natalie Portman said in two thousand seventeen and review, and I soon she didn't we search on. That is very bright, yeah exactly who want to have it in Hollywood we're making thirty cents to the dollars, but she said so: thou isn't it hasn't seventeen, but not so very long ago. That's bad! There is bad, it's a really complicated. It's more complicated. One aspect is massage me. That's for sure, and feeling like women should just be grateful. That's a big part of it.
But also the job requires negotiation. It's not like a normal job or every single job. Your negotiating the contract and I have observed lots of female friends of mine versus lots of. Friends of mine again because work. This is an extension of sergeant, but I think because men are taught to you know. Their value or something or or just be more distant yeah more acceptable for men to be disagreeable. At any rate, I found that men are far more willing to just say no to projects or walk away, which is ultimately, how you get your quote up, no, no one does just give it to you out of the kindness of their hearts. So that's it. Makes it a little tricky yeah, but I also think what's a deeper issue is The roles for women are easier to replay ass, the eye. If you ve, got if your plane, the girlfriend yap in you, try to stay in Europe.
Knowing that someone also play the girl for exactly aim, which is very true here, but there are people like Kristen like it, the lead of the movie they're out replacing her and I've noticed when we first met. She was a lot more acquiescent like she wouldn't risk It is healthy. It's one or two she'd rather do the job and not get that money, which I think is a good perspective, but at the same time everyone has a node until they get what they think they deserve. Yeah yeah, like Odom, had to largely yeah. He was grey. Ok, so she kept her frame to her feet. Emily and the people that they hung out with it. They hung out with the wise guys and I didn't know what thou Wert wise guises is a euphemism for people and the Mafia family man made guys wise guys, guys guys, guys
guys five guys I got his five guises mov. Your own way of you want to support a little now the man ok, so I worked backwards today. That was, interesting who's, gonna be how you do it in your thirty. I rethink sour third year yeah, especially as I was able to do lots of Thailand's. How do you feel about thirty three as a number I can live with that because it adds up to sick. I now look. Don't I don't love it? You don't want a guy like you, gonna be positive cause. I don't wanna jinx myself herself a thought, my prophecy and say: let's courts to the same number here, but to funding honesty. I'm scared luxuries. So the most bank robberies. That quote is from the town. Oh, do yes, there are over three hundred beg.
Libraries in Boston every year and a one square mile, neighbourhood, emboss and called Charles Town has produced more bang. An armored car robberies and anywhere in the? U S. So that's the quo in the how now it's not really or operated anywhere, but mainly because I don't think they want it to be. Ok, bosomed. Please say they can't bear a fire, ok I feel good about their number yeah yeah. I just think they're, not releasing data very much here and that just circles back to the town, My boyfriend, your boyfriend, my bird voided, use you so that a beautiful man put a big elbow on it worth their while happy birthday Thank you, your honor above ISM, IP baby. Now, ok, you hold your baby. I guess
your mother's job, right to did, they think the much gross babies and I think the move in order to smuggle be baby would be the puppy baby and as a block bag in a gallon, says reply like I do, and I was a little. I told you about the right one. Was younger. I would fill up baggies with water and pretend they were my babies and very them around, and sometimes I withdraw faces on them. I don't think I knew there was like a warm and my mom really hit. It exerts bags of water. All over the house, New Broad became emotionally attached all car here I mean did it in the bags like ok, if you're getting produce and you tear off those bags, or the kind you yeah down long. Yes, they are so that was good for holding but probably problem. Rick. I lost a few,
I guess I didn't have the day of the gown size it blocks at that time. Are you just they weren't at your? Despite all think they're at my disposal, I murmured about really mad. If I wasted those yeah, that's money down the toilet year, so it had to be a grocery bags that I could do that with my p baby I love you. I love you happy birthday,
Transcript generated on 2020-08-24.