« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

EXPERTS ON EXPERT: David Sedaris

2018-07-12

In this episode of Experts on Expert, the Armchair Expert speaks to author and humorist, David Sedaris about behavioral tics, and value of writing without preciousness and his provocative encounters at book signings. David talks about the authors he is inspired by and Dax tells a story about why he can't drink Pellegrino. The two of them breakdown the dilemma of sharing family stories, the current culture of sensitivity and their mutual path to sobriety.

David Sedaris -- is the author of Barrel Fever, Naked, Holidays on Ice, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, When You are Engulfed in Flames, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls and Theft by Finding. He is a contributor to The New Yorker and BBC Radio 4.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello. I'm Dac Shepherd. Welcome to arm chair experts, bonus episode, experts on expert. Today we have one of my all time. Favorite, writers and humorous. You ve heard me talk about one of you stories the plague ticks. It led me to divulge my am devastating routine at eight years old, which was highly embarrassing and ritual ized, and if ever there were a person that could identify with the struggles of ticks and oversee the it is our guests to day David said: Aramis Monica the off how palmed where we for David, said: Arabella excited nominees, one of that he's a national treasuries earlier lightly. It was it was it was a dream he's written, so many amazing books. I just started reading his new book calypso, which is fantastic em about a third of the way through it and its great cause there.
short story. So it's not this huge commitment. It's a great by the on the beach book this summer, Reno unknown people. You can write a book anywhere younger cow on the toilets, get real Anatolia that incorporate time they're doing a ritual. I guess I feel inclined- and you can cut this out of you. Disagree but interesting path with David had never met him in real life and never even seen him in real life, and I think we were both trying to get a grasp on here very interesting idiosyncratic. original human yeah and in Russia gaiety hits. It was some pretty, but bizarre behaviour does in public, but we came to really fully understand words. All coming for honour is nice and we really wished. We had three more hours, because what an original the human being in London back come back David. Please enjoy our expert on writing day. Sid heiress experts on exports,
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for twenty percent off your first order using kodaks, that's em, why G K K s dot com for twenty percent off your first order using the code Dax he's as I've said here many times who is able to have funds on? I just feel like MIKE you another fifteen points. I just feel like a real. It is authoritative whereby I just sound as you can hear it yeah well in It drowns outlined here myself without any impeding sounds and adjust I feel, like I sound profess oral in these headphones and it really is my confidence What I do want to hear when I know headphones on by Alain stretched she
there should come to the end, my she studios, Gunnbiorn Y, see and do like just some fundraising stuff you to read the promise with fundraiser and she was always in a bad mood and she got there. He said I can't hear shit to these came David said error is welcome to armchair export its really fun to see you in real life, because I've, men along avid reader of your work. And really with no mental picture in my head yeah. So I'd like to have my big show, my boy, you, like Christopher, asked the musician I don't like I don't understand. And why do picture on everything I constantly few air interviewed somewhere. They have to have your picture instead of a picture of an old boat, ah well, I do think we were promoting this up as a picture of a schooner people be a little confusing, might think you're like a nautical export as possible.
Wait a minute any number of other things you could take a picture of then I just don't understand, especially when you write or on the radio Why you need to be why your picture needs to be. there will be no the sad thing about Christopher Cross, the musician. I can only imagine you're familiar with his work laws between the moon and New York C D. That's what my favorite then sailing. Of course. But they wouldn't let him be on his albums the label had decided that women and this idea of what he looked like in their head, because you such a beautiful singer and He just didn't live up to that mental picture apparently and they kept him off. ELM covers, I was run out a little heartbreaking I'll, be it may be good for album sales. It still feels very, I would have felt very young triggered in it. secure when I heard that news, You wouldn t
What do you look airborne? I think they're were just sail both operators of those of In any case, it is work at work. They saw it. He sold a ton of ours will combat brushing his face there. It's terrible he's not like he's. Are these not Tom, the hunchback of note or now maids he? He was bald, that's an issue, I guess for some other female prisoners. I think they are. imagine more like a Tom cell type bright, the early eighties. Wasn't here the arcane I'd I'd say I feel like when videos, music videos came along unchanged alone and then all of a sudden people who were Looking at music careers, just because you were good looking and they were in videos, countrymen, Jack allowed people to be ugly. I hung from man at least to be an attractive you're, not wearing use lively, hot right there. And a lot a rap people are prepared
look out again many men and women yeah. Well, that's the great injustice between men and women is that if you are a man, you can look like Frankenstein, but if you have a certain swagger in person, yeah you can transcend how you look great, like I wouldn't say when I think of cash. I think odds of stud, even though maybe without personae is not right and so the robbers, as you say, like biggie, small human, this fella, I mean as big as you could get and still- point in a lot of activity from females in that's That's a man have that women don't noons, feels very unfair. I'm saying I wouldn't be a four hundred pound hip hop female singer rang is also getting tens every night. This is not going to happen in this country at least, Can I ask you a question? What what's your day been like? Are you gonna you're, on a boat to earlier?
Modern calypso is that accurate yeah, I'm gonna book tour, but this is the last day of my book tour When do you have any elation because of that No, I I go home I go home tomorrow and then this Thursday, and then a Monday. I start my UK tour and that'll asked for a month. Ok in home is England yeah for how many years now never really start like we packed and left France and we just kind of drifted over and go back and forth, but I had a place ever since two thousand. Until I get so sixteen years. these spending, the bulk of your time in a little hamlet outside of a village in West Sussex. And could you give the listeners your exact address if they can start by an offer? You things dealing angling, their post, your ear, zip code. Is your exact address. Your zip code is your exactly
Oh really, everyone has their own. How long is the zip code? Twenty nine digits? Long? No, it's it's! Six! It's coming! letters in numbers and six him, though you go part of my brain is telling me that this is not possible way. You're describing that somehow you would only have six numbers, yet everyone would receive. Now there must be more than let's see six ongoloo, some quick math Monica six, six would be what ninety nine thousand right now would be six digits. they could only account for ninety nine thousand residents headphones jamaican. Dont know Tom rarely tomorrow night crunch. Those numbers like my address is name of my house? Oh then aim of my hamlet in the UN and the town. It's outside our ok, also there's another lose my zip code and then last Sussex, ok,
And the house, like the house, had a name when we bought it all the houses have names. So I'm starved constantly. My people ask me: Can I tell them where pine cottages, our? Where do hearst is- and I don't know I don't know Let us help me no one off easier for delivery. Man, if you could just give the name, treat the number by you, I don't they don't do it that way, but our house is it's called one cottage and one cottage, and it came with that name in its original form. Fifty years old for honey in fifty years shot off. It was always called one cottager. Somebody changed, but the only other house we look that when we are considering places was called faggot stuff. In Greece and the reason is that it gives the x ray is the old version of that word beyond the whole reason by that place was name change,
So I would like to see Fine, give give me the name just swap yes make him Swan sunset or, whatever you said, Swan Cottage Swan Cottage and will be faggot stacks, yeah yeah. If you could take them the word back like the black community. With a young word that I could be the first reply fly you plan in taking it back. it's kind of like adopting a dog. I guess right, if you rescue a dog in the face of beauty, real cute dog, but that its name is Sophocles. You like fucker, I well! I guess it's worth it! Well, we in the house, on the coast in North Carolina. Ok, I'm Now, zero have names to really different because now, Zaire and Old House was. Maybe an old house was built in nineteen. Seventy five: ok, maybe nineteen sixty five while the old house and those houses have names but like
our house. We bought. It was called fantastic place, No now is young such a saying, my group, when I was we were kid you get on that. The names were upon names, mainly rapid, abbot, do clam alot and do not thing I like these, so we changed our house to the c section It is the house next Door House and we're gonna, call that I hear the amniotic shack. or canker shores. Okay, I will sure I know we get a boat and we're going to call it and Rosie Wave my sisters and I are gonna- perform abortions at sea. oh that's- our american- I mean really says- really prevent development national waters and I think you're free to practice any kind of medicine you'd like without a license. Apparently there already are playing people who do that who practise? Oh they do, motions shape
Oh really interesting. Do you know to have the have named a fantasy boat with tears these knots Kay em, as he has been he's nuts I was writing that MRS grabbed and I almost was like it's too good to give to the world. I want to keep this name for my own bow. I really had like a whole one hour debate in my head about whether I should that away or not to have any I'd like that when you're writing You know I came up with the word iron I say coming up the new Yorker and I was in New York. working on reading aloud right? Was it a gun? I went to a firing range of my elder sister, and so we were at they are. we had the firing range and they sell aligned,
of clothing that you can conceal a weapon in until they have something all there were boxer briefs and they were called compression, concealment shorts, and so I thought I would call them gundhar pants charge of this woman right older. She rose to my age and it said I'm studying a podcast. Can I call it underpants? Ah it's like a word. I mean rob young or were you and I'm not b. sure go ahead, but I don't see how it's a good name for upon it. While I would disagree with you there, I think it's a great name perfect, as I would listen underpants in a heartbeat young. I would think somebody would have to go with underpants. The overlap is now happening. Can I tell you something? I invented a word for them movie, I made in Australia, described the area. That's outside of a camel. Tell right.
Someone's looking at those women yeah well, not surrounding the camel Telford financial area fabric that is, is covering the camel, tell right I came up with the term banana Grendel, it's kind of close the gunpowder ants banana Grendel yeah banana grander. He says to me he says on How does he say Mona cases? Oh, my god does it have? Does it have reversed stitching with the banana Grendel? And I know what the fuck is: a banana Grund Dolly's like that gas, it the gas it trying to be one look over and see what he seen any described it as a banana Grendel. Can you think grander means gossip, organic and you think it means bloomers. We had this conversation before right, the things that failure. Leaders aware under their skirts, I thought were called grandes, their bloomer assignment to hijack your great invention, and you could also approach the
the company under armor and do Gundhar armor right yeah do you would hold yeah yeah, disguise the limit. Curious. Are you ever Mr Bowe hearing with the world in writing things that you maybe be uncomfortable. With talking about publicly Is there any kind of division where you go like up? Sometimes, when I go on tour and there's a culinary? Ah I get questions like you'd. Ask your cousin sure what your dad up to your brother Actually, they would say house paul- and I think that's how you brother Paul we'd, like I know, em in you, don't write, but then no one. Doesn't keep me up at night. I just want to figure out. You know you, probably you get the questions you deserve. I think I'm probably better at writing about things and talking about them just cuz. I have more time
choose my words and your how to get me in and out of it, but not only bring from with him, because I've out I've, This- has happened on this package. Were a good friend of mine had written this amazing essay on this topic. He's very honest about this, but you know her own personal story in that essay, and so I just stupidly assumed oh she blood to talk about it. She already published it. You know- and I I quickly kind of detected that oh, she was she felt safe. Writing it and it was a very controlled as you get to do you get to re read and edit and change control she had over an essay form. She really didn't feel versation about it and just didn't want to, and I was like. Oh I hadn't really thought about that. I just I thought so. If you probably something you probably don't mind talking about it and you've, obviously written a ton of colonel stuff about yourself but an utterly. We feel like I've game anything away. Like a name,
felt like it was anything revealing in an important way. I like to me, but One of the things I get published. Parts of my diary in a book, but I added tat so I went through at night- shows what to include and why not to include so. Somebody else is that it would be completely different. Like I don't know who gets to me right right. You don't know who I am lie: awake at night, hating honour that would make me feel exposed there were no mean. Like a politician, I don't mean that I think that's that's easy enough, but surely Noreen. You know
in terms of law. You know people have crossed path where, as whether people have said things, you don't want people to know, They have that power over you shine yeah. Well, I am me on but as big of an over sharer is there is right. I talk about getting. sober. I talk about be molested. I talk about. I talk about so much stuff that be almost impossible to assume that anything would bother me if you asked me in Have you I'm. Not one of those people like on people will say Oh he's really over sharing, I think really understand. that term. I don't really know understand that I go. I would rather here about like somebody having gas don't ask no virus, we learned
it's a good story. I young hearing about Unlove hearing about things like that. I'm sure people say this might be too person Lenin. She those words to and personal willing, yeah going. Piano. If some tell me a story- and I agree with this- It just happened to me this week, which is, I was working with another act or older actor. Who is also sober and I we were in a group of like eight people sitting in our chairs. Just you know, waiting for them set up. And he and I were kind of shop swapping using stories right in his organize he's got a story about a clown into a cars in the seventies and then the cops came in this story. He told ball a blonde there. We're talking he's talking about you know I get too high and seen so he just a skin pop of heroin instead of in the vain and I'm a loving every bit of it, because I'm all I'm an accurate to in this is all like par for the course did notice. I like just glanced at it, people listening either! This is of this is
oh very terrifying, for the people that are listening to those who have no real experience, relationship with that world. This sound like we're talking about juggling chainsaws or something, but he and I decided it was very entertaining and they are all great stories and I could have listened to a million more about it. Dig me a little window into when I'm talking about oh dean and an alien teach me. Some people are bother. You know That can be scary for some people. So I guess in that way I can be an over share villa you. Sometimes you meet somebody who knew realize they were talking like four eight minutes at a stretch. That's a problem where was, I am just a second and seven? No! No! I don't know but there is a way of pausing or as in question, you don't really want need an answer to, but they can just. when a story up a story when people are talking right- and
allow it to breathe and when you go tour or you're. Being interviewed you that's what you that's what you lose. I think right You eaten your led to believe that year really that interesting and then every really wants you to talk for eight minutes at a stretch when in real life, it's like, oh, my god, when is at present shut up, but that's not over sharing, not just in holding the floor too long you have made me, does a little lack of self awareness of checking, whether your audience armchair experts. If you dare experts exports is sponsored by cash app if you haven't heard, where switching to catch up the cash app. Is the number one ranked app in finance and let you do that also their money, whether you want to pay people back, binds Bitcoin instantly deposit your paycheck right into the app or receive a free custom cash card to spend your cash anywhere. You like and other cash card
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it's yours, Argentine Argentina, Jimmy Tourist Steak, with a sweet, potato, pull blondell and tomato jumble. My fate a part of hell of fresh is I can't even pronounced food so exotic. It is because I had would you I had a korean beef B B been bad. Nothing. I never heard that were Bebop yeah, it was so there was a flavor form. Do you ever like EU, so carried away? Eating it uses are working through your hair. User land to a food orgy, not you! I remember the time because I got intimate with the chimney Jura. Even origin. Mature is south american signature Herbert condiment or herb condiment. It's like pesto, but with the citrus Tang in a pinch f.
young. I live for that. He knew there. It's really good hell afresh and you can make these meals in thirty minutes to tell you that your adding bad in the kitchen like Monica is you can produce a very savory, delicious meals for your friends and impress them for thirty dollars off your first week of hello, fresh visit, hello, fresh dot com for its less Dax thirty and enter promo code Dax. Thirty, that's hello start come forward: sly, stacks, thirty, codecs, thirty, four thirty dollars, When you do these q and asian stuff, you ve done a bunch alive stuff from I can gather yet here I have a lecture agent, and so he sets up these tourists for me, every fall in every spring I go out, and so I promise the one hundredth easier and knowing why how tour then? So in addition to my hundred cities this year on problem, I'm goin to that I've got like an extra three months of book. Tour
nice dates in n, N, N N in England and then I'm going to Germany, greatly in Greece. If I can be crude and talk market place with you, what percentage of your books are sold internationally verses domestically and are not at that. because even apply to you now that might most in my books are, are sold in the United States. They are like what percentage would you guess? gosh Moonlit, see, I would say, a primarily seventy eighty percent. Ok But then you go to a place. You know like him into the Philippines, and I thought what are you people doing here? It was. I wasn't I wasn't prepared. I didn't know that anybody in the Philippines read my book She wasn't here, be no, you do an event and they would be like you know many people were Clive six hundred people and
in Manila. My first all would be older, naming and understand what I'm saying Dundee. that fear when you're like, in a non english speaking country in your. I did something once at the forum in Rome that was like three thousand people there- oh boy, but then I read, but then they got italian. Telling an actress red and then it was just me and her, but then add a big jumbotron set up. So is interesting watching her ears ass. She was there for people who didn't speak English very well and I know she got a much much bigger response and I did but in general, do you enjoy this being honest? age you love it love it now, that's great Let me answer and I would hope for you sometimes you know you read something anything on my gonna try to read this one more time, but then you think, ok, I'm gonna be bored for twenty minutes. Reading this
and look at everybody else's job. I was drawing on the way in ITALY can always put yourself put things in perspective, but that's one of those situations where you think it's a really an insult to working people We had a moment because your board for twenty minutes reading something he has never endearing if Europe on a rough right, Malleson immense honour in ten degrees of working, one hot tar like really but was it was it Obama worried that story, Allah, money bridle. I never wanted to be an actor occurring right no showbiz dreams I took, I was in the drama club in high school, but the second that I gotta stage, then all these nervous takes kicked in what you are seeing where you seeing somebody in the full blossom. That's the audience was saying How can I like see? There's a guy in the audience overnight with just had a whole lot go nicer and I love
I have seen that in its kind of exciting, to see me? I know somebody who's for people against David. He is moving his neck around in an inexplicable fashion. Repetitively just you know Hu Jia tax or somebody sometimes do show in some will say near a harsher mere ill. I saw the audience with the rats- and I just you like me, so happy yeah, you know I'd I'd, just identify with that. They have never in my life, read something that I connected tooth. they'll much on a sell. Your level is when I read plague of ticks Hunt, which is what the second story in naked. Your second, but maybe the first story. Is it the first story? Gosh I met a man who can tell him yes, I reckon tat. If you have not read plague tax I just its
mere neurons, we're goin Bananas, because I did so much of this I pray that that's really was your child. It was a failure. Yes, so I took such great comfort in knowing that I wasn't the only person I was living in them in yes, I was living in madness, I assume that was the because it makes me I felt so weird about it, because the things we're doing what they were very they did they had not, one nation that I don't know why I was doing them you and I, Never in my life connected the dots that I quit all that when I started smoking. I would have never come to that, inclusion. But when I read your book I got all I think, that's The exact same age ice. Stop doing all that stuff. It was in high school when I started smoking cigarettes. but you can age out of. Apparently, when I wrote that story
Then it was embraced by both the tour Edson beat the door at people and the OECD, people, ok and then I said book it took us to my mind it it went away when I start smoking wishes and I was twenty bright and they said that the sound it about write to them and that it can Oh you know somebody wage outer now, I was afraid, was smoking. That was all gonna come back a heart and soul. can come back, but it doesnt stayed away used to like. If I have to go, tv or something, and then I think then I then it could come back because I think, oh, my god, that's be. The worst thing that can happen is you're going to get on tv I am you always think you're hiding it right right right. If I go stage and there's a Plexiglas plexiglas podium. I spent all night touching my dick I'll try organic as I have to rehearse. Everybody can see right
you're not supposed to write and then sometimes I do that thing you go into the pocket and sometimes is like your brush and the funny your pants augur. Well, I'm busy doing that Parker Pool from again all night because I know that. because, as anyone ever lodged economic, why about? That is anyone's like I'm alone with a shell, but might strangers in the audience one night she said what was going on with you because again up their new thinking or nobody can notice, and they just think that I've got lend. You know my pants sure it has been steadily replay for an hour and recycled through that's all. I have been clear if it's like a, when podium, you don't have that it and I don't have to do and I gotta make you asked black because if we share this. What happens in my brain almost all day every day is from second and interaction starts, I'm all I can.
Think of as the single worse thing. I could do it just like it's my first thought is the worst thing that can be done, and then I then come to what would be socially acceptable. I tried to land on that second thing, but the first thing is like I want to point out certain your probably really and secure about. When I say this word, I shouldn't say it just that's! That's where my thinking starts, but when you walk into a room, these doubts are gathering little clues like all. I could really fuck up by pointing out that and then I could mention this woman's got. you know, she's losing her hair and unity This can take up like a like arm. A super here. He's gonna see every bad men can be exposed right now. What it's interesting, because yeah. I do that, but then I found that signing box is a place that allows you to do all real arabic and say things
do things that are so. This woman tried TAT. I guess don't have twitter anything, but I was told that this woman came to get a book signed Let's say her name was Monica enjoy said Monica who you had sex from money. then I guess not on an appropriate and how dare you like whenever you apologize to get piled on. So I thought someone came and said. Why would you say that to young woman owed sake cause she looked like a whore, Just now is a rare yeah so. Sometimes I'm signing books. I can do because again believe in any one. Like a disk waiting for someone to punch me in the face. I keep waiting and I can almost taste it gonna happen, sure sure that's gonna feel like It has mainly because table wine
Well, it's NATO ones like Alyosha, drawing Snoopy in where Snoopy. Where is she? Where is he now look? There's a house that Snoopy Stock her now that's a whorehouse. Your mother works at all those people in work Ruby is lined up the fuck, your mother, yes MA, am the exact thing you said: oh Jesus is in theory now. I know I said that some opponents go out. I mean Thank you is funny, if some Did you that, while I book but neat, you never know anymore, you just don't know better couple days a identify with. I would love to have someone talk to me like that, because, basically, I'm just looking at all moments to get out of border MIKE. I thank and now be unexpected and then I wouldn't even order predict my reaction. That's exciting right, and then I also think there is an element of you they. As to your point of saying, I'm waiting to get punch in the face I have to
in part of this experience for use like standing on a very tall skyscraper where party a big portion. Brain is begging you to jump, you think that's a similar sensation. Yeah like you, course, you dont want to jump to your death, but yet large by your brain is begging you to jump to your death in Ukraine. like a punch in the face, but yet you desperately would love to get levelled by somebody while at the same time I think you can use certain language but alleyway first when used language in one. Could take those things and say it and await its horrible, but I think there is a way to say it. Jolly I insist, there's a way to say any a jolly way to say pretty much anything right. So what's up it sounds like you. Maybe it's a fund, amusing game for you in a challenge yeah. I mean joy that feeling a spy in Spain.
spiralling out of control, introduced things getting more, more ridiculous. Many think gash. How worse can this gap and then you think well, I guess I'll know in an hour sourcing. Aha, I have to say I have a very similar thing. I didn't think it'll be different now because I don't know People can be sustained every night when you're doing a show, and you gave him predicted anymore. You know what somebody would be. May I make an essay. I went to different countries and I asked people in what's the worst thing that when you say when people caught you often traffic or what worse thing than anyone ever said to you and and in the Netherlands have similar cut you off in traffic. Call him a cancer whore our.
Tuberculosis whore in mark you say why don't you run around in my ass in Romania. I say I dragged my balls across your mother's memorial cake Cream So I regret to say one night and near is all twenty minutes to show how how we like, like you Is there nothing how unimaginative as well this when rights- and she said I was it- you shall with my old son, who has cancer or what and how do you think it felt to me when you up on stage saying cancer for a laugh? thought when she wrote me a letter. I thought we were always even cancer is less than other all. I guess she's talking about cancer. Whore not anything I made up right. relating it yeah. Show them. What am I supposed to remove it
I suppose there not, because I think well maybe speak only on it answer when he's always gonna be in our people going through one, Sarah Silberman has a great routine about exactly what you're saying in and what her conclusion after doing tons of thinking about this because she has its long long joke I'll. Never do it. Justice, but it's about her wanting to adopt a child. love that you heard her. I love that not all ends up with her saying she's Brian. I can really get one cause. She's older, not marrying her prior to get a retarded one, and then she says you know, but then I'm very nervous that I feel I have a retarded one who will take care of the child once I die so then I decided the best solutions. They get a terminally ill retarded child in sheets. That I guess at TED Conference or something, and then there was outrage over it and her conclude
After all, this thought in investigations there was not a single terminally ill retarded child who is offended by the joke. There were a bunch of advocates for those different things who were offended so what time really end up doing is you're apologizing to a fucking advocate. So in your case, I don't know that the sun was answer gave a shit about the right thing. You said your now too to make the mom happy issues. Defended, not that you know so yeah, Do you think there's a lot of advocates that end up getting all his apologies to the groups themselves, aren't even demanding right now. That seems. Can ninety nine percent of the time seems to be the case now but I will say you're also any before any, good position to have this weird approach of yours during books, Iranians am because you're not six. What for muscular right, right, you're. Not so,
Alpha straight guy, right, so you get a little latitude, don't you think then I'm glad you're utilise, I mean understood, you benefits to beam ah tradition. Openly Gay and America's, so I would hope you would be cash in on the few. Maybe advantages to that will emerge physically, threatening and then a threatening presence, and so I think that's why, I you know somebody is going up to people and asking them for money. They're gonna come to me before they can deal right, sure sure sure I mean now playing one day I was sitting in my see, that's my c I should always be some mistake. That's my see he said was mine now find some other place a while something that really open.
I said what I said and he said there were plenty of empty seats on this flight and find one- and I said, but I'm too the difference I'm not an asshole. So if I deceit and someone says that my seat, I'm gonna say I'm gonna stand up and animal spend this whole time. Looking for one of those free seeds, you're talking about yeah, but I think, if you said that's my seat, he would said ok Journal and, conversely, of Might Thyssen said this dog houses where your mother's getting, but fact he's in a civil war, zoo, no question about it, like that's ending up in court. Don't you you put it so much better than I do I mean it. I know I guess the thought of it is that part you see it s house, that's what your mother's getting, but your mother ran up the other newbie thou your mother, but fuck how one though they may have thanks for honey,
he's giving labelling gas, was all the people. We could run through same ass at two thirds images and terribly agent armchair. Dare grateful to announce that arm, chair expert expert on expert is also supported by Spotify. Did you know every single episode of armchair expert is now on Spotify, so exciting. Yes, the same that has millions of songs. Now has thousands of podcast on Spotify you can listen to all your favorite shows in discover new ones, but did not too many. You know we get jealous where human, so to subscribe to our show, search for armchair expert, tap, follow and get every new Episode delivered to you, podcast on Spotify, theirs, dreaming right now, and now
by the way applauded. I'm not saying you you're getting away with murder. I'm like I'm very excited that your utilizing everything about your being too lived at the very maximum you can, what they think of people who, on the store that have complained now you when you were in my book I'm not gonna like I'd like it. I mean a leg meeting the people I like talking to them and I, like it's fun for me, it's probably how you keep it pleasure all three, which then makes the interaction actually genuine cause? You found a way to have fun doing it right here. And multi million. That is more genuine, wonderful or action aimed at the time. Did I don't like it is when somebody is a controlling person in and they say. No, I want you to write in this book, keep laughing and went away. To my side- and I want you to write to Brian keep laughing and you came for me, I can tell you how many times had opened and they say
I'm going to write any boy, oh boy, because it's not something, I would say right, you have it. I want you to write, keep laughing and they will not going to and I will do this instead to never happen. We would once there is too much better. I have really get me. I will answer I'm so Johnson at Larry, the cable guy, because he has one says, is get her done and I have to make, every single thing is ever to sign as soon as we're done. Eating probably closes eyes and in sign it without even being conscious of it, like what ya like to have a catchphrase I was in a bookstore a couple weeks ago and Bruce rings thing had come for his book and they told me that he's the size of everyone has his picture taken when he's the height of everyone.
What he has his picture. Tell you, how does it look like a tall? Yet he gets shorter Tom and I don't know I don't know he. You know stands on his toes or if he has They said it was amazing more on my long. He took pictures and we must look at the picture any with the same height because they were and are not a superpower really really is I'd love to challenges like I'd like to get a centre for an mba team and bring under the books. I see all jeez housing gonna handle this latter coming out from behind the, as is wondering, do you care of people like you, like when all these people leaving you see now you ve been like quip. Be, do you care if they're like? If they don't like it, Do you care? I really do you don't care really do care hours. I guess I'm thing
king like when the people are unhappy, I think would happen at the last book signing he liked to. Why happen, then you know: did the person even look up yeah, I did say how are you Did you say how are you and they said, I'm fine. Thank you. Thank you for asking that Yeah, yeah yeah walked away from the table that feel good deal. So I'm trying actually connect with beaten, and I guess it's like somebody saying I dont like you and I are known especially now there are. A lot of people may like to be combated with me. For one social media and it almost seemed energized by like it, but I'm not if people walk out of the theatre. During a shall. I think, oh it's a doctor on call and then, if a bunch
walk out? I think there was a school bus accident, nine, thirty, nine, thirty and thirty nine and all those doctors had to leave. I find it a letter from somebody who said you know. I read your book and I couldn't stand it. So I'm bothered four days when we are now really well sometimes it like a view on the radio, this unity, the language you can't use and just think you don't ever used. And then by your boy? Are they how to see one stage, and they hear you in that language? and I'm not one of those people like I don't I don't that's fine. If you have somebody who doesn't money, username language, we know
yeah. I remember it caused me, you a very clear. That's absolutely fine, but I wouldn't put him above zero salesmen. All right I mean it's just laying it doesn't mean anything you're using them more peaceful acceptance of it than I do. I get infuriated by when people You know my motherland Tommy's too many fox and the last movie I made an. I just think: it's a god. Damn sound, it's early, a fucking sound that your tongue and teeth made. How could that possibly effect you right? It's no, than any of the other myriad of sounds were making. It is preposterous to me that people are I had a little tiny victory over hers. She she I made her watch Chris Rock and she she's Tommy me why swearing, lazy, lazy or something I made her and why? Why want you to watch how artful this is and how specific and how well thought out this is in here it you know, and she didn't conclude there was in
at full in served a purpose, and it wasn't laziness and all these things all I'm on the BBC. A radio show on the BBC and they have a mean thought of meetings about certain words, have been times when they. Let me keep the word falcon because they please sit down. They think well that for that same reason like its structurally, its import our or everything leads up to it shall write. there's other time and they say men now we're gonna cut that you don't need that right. Early, I don't care because I realized gosh you right right More generally, in agreement with you, times in origin argument. Usually what it's an argument about is a girl like that You see you can say that somebody committed suicide, but you can't say how they did it they are afraid that the listeners are gonna, say wait a minute,
I have the honour of a car, a viable food. They use the gas battle. The chisel I about of him at home? That is gas propelled, but I guess he entered the worried that listeners Eliza weirdly as a fact. This is something I learned as an anthropology major. We had to read this book about the contagious nature of suicides on the small Pacific Island became like verve train anything new and that may have tract When news stories are pervasive with suicides, the suicide rate does go up, it is weirdly a contagious. They are now, which is bizarre, understand the psychology of it. But that is a fact now. The plague attacks cunning of act in that chair or in general, can I just ask you this? feel about praises it make you or do you enjoy it.
usually Mason comfortable here and I'm gonna get that you want at a time and then, when you receive in it you hate it yeah yeah he's. Probably that's how I feel hey, you love me and then the second they certainly they do. I get so uncomfortable with someone who work with me and because at the end it will show when people applaud, ever wanted shared, but then I would just just consult slink away, and someone said you know I wouldn't kill you to bow. I do that. I would never go back out for more right right right yet from me. It's very bizarre. I I I want it I always every step taken. My life is to get it. and then, when I receive it, I feel fraudulent, if you like, I don't deserve it like somehow, for these people. Really deserve this. Won't it's even honour when they stand up
because I know that feeling of being an audience and we start standing up and you don't really want to, but I'm going to have to, I don't hate it. I hate it I mean in charge and anything I hears the fucking pageantry of an encore when you go see a cancer even if they do my fear was I I can't do it. I can't do that three times were you hold the lighter up and then they actually there now and then there's a crazy round of applause and then they come back and then they leave again now these like standard now for a conference like three of those cycles. And I just find it so tedious. When I went to my first book door in Germany, I was with an actor name, Harry Robot, who translated the book as well, and I said the first night, he would an English, he would heavenly weedin German. I said how long will the reading last and he said a bottle and he read until he finished. an entire fifth of irish whiskey,
and he had been reading for like two and a half hours, and then somebody said on core and they call- and he read me read another story. That was forty minutes long, your cue now and you knew it was a fifth and a beer. I was at every now and then you do a show, and then somebody says we win that story. You know at the cure we read that only say now, like I'm finished, like reading. Heart is Venus where spread because all Enzo graziers about new on anybody wants to do is go home and I think if you a performer, and you forget that young that that's the real danger army ungracious. Yet more. What I always tell my wife when we go places is that there's nothing on the planet I would enjoy for more than an hour and forty minutes does nothing
how I don't want out. At a certain point, I need revalue apt, weird exemption k, Kabuki. Kabuki Kabogi Mediator, Kabuki Theatre. Really. What, though, with a very heavy make up in the morning I went and someone said words six hours- go away. I mean like, though, for a little while and then leave apps completely. labelling lately I can make It was for hours, ok as well, but it was to night said: go back the second night Oh, why we were gonna, be the second night Bay, where the four hours, the blue by yeah and you saw him this was in Japan in Tokyo in Tokyo. I story not like that one is we got robes and checking out occur, game in Australia in Europe
and when these motherfuckers sat down to drink tea in the middle of the game on the field, I was like. You've got to be kidding me we're supposed to sit here and watch these people relax and drink tea, could not read my head around it. It felt aggressively lay. You felt like an assault to watch these guys do. It is and come to find out. We were only observing day two of six game six day game. Someone will have to explain that to me at some point. Now, even if they were naked view, your entire, he would tie as they are using the bathroom on the feel like they were. There would be nothing. Men could hold my attention for their long. What about kabuki? Is so compelling? Did they speak was so it's they whale, oh It was so odd and just.
Beautiful in the way that they moved. It was almost like they were. They moved like. like marionette I've never seen anybody walk like that in their little jerky movements, and then It was so over the top, but then you would feel like weeping, so I was self fraught with emotion The music was just desist. Monkey they'd they play this, I think, is Kalisz. Amazon is what is called is like to ask two strained instrument. there's just plum key and allowed mournful? the tree,
did it resemble a drug experience were like at first it was like what on earth is this and then you just found yourself and embraced from right intellect right right, that's kind of cool, experienced immersive the whole thing we're yeah. I do like drugs. I no drugs. I mean I just not taking our use over a year or you are almost twenty years. I annoyed. If somebody came a while ago and brought me some guys guys guys, I said, wish you hadn't me I said yeah. I wish because if someone says the two men? I then it wouldn't be my father and I would get to enjoy it, but if I were to knowingly take it ya tomorrow, I is day one yeah, I'm just went through too much to have tomorrow day one so I mean you uncomfortable a couple times. You know how it is. You take a serpent news like. Ah that's not my water,
that I hear some me now and then by the way. I realized it like nine sips later right. That's what we, I accidentally got a jack in cork in Wyoming, wants with a friend whose also celebrate and he ended up with Jack ginger like we does anybody to cocktails and The answer is: I only got minds: mines, ejection you're in the next few weeks or months, hijacking coke. And he actually said take mine. All. I don't think we ve met tasted of, but I answered when I try to save her it when it is it. I sit by accident- and I am now saying to you know here My boyfriend is usually only seems to be there. I was like I are you. Are you go, you one simple somebody delay was sober now
but he doesn't need to be. You know who I am writing or not drink. He has no, he didn't have a problem. you're like do you ever get anything tat whenever heifers quit Nelson Paris, but. The meetings and I went to in Paris. It was mainly the lot people who are lonely and that might be like everywhere, yeah where I met. I know you're not supposed to talk about where you here in an was unknown by who sat at this guy said I used to come home from work and drinking airplane bottle of vodka. Every night come on, If you were a mouse that that problem, your home, grown humming bird would be bukovsky on that day, and I guess I wonders meetings, and I just thought I don't. I don't think I can. Do this man
as in other alot of people who say well, if you did and then you're just a dry drunken by law, but I feel like the important thing for me is to not drink and I go about it and if you don't like that way, I with I don't I really don't care sure, and can I must tell you that I could give a flying fuck how somebody quits, I personally Get a ton of the programme and I don't think that's for everyone I could careless. When people go out may relapse. I don't care all that much about that either like I'm, not such a big deal to me. But was it was adopts, if I say was a hard to quit. Yeah what drives, if you like, I was math. Ok right, I was like the first method. Can the lacking ceremonies, and, but Save me was my dealer moved to Florida, and then there was, and then I know brother sold it. So I can't I Her brother, who said, don't you ever call me or contact me ever
and then I was like Diana Rossen in Lady things blues. You know I was just on the floor for days and just agony, were you smoking or snow snorting ongoing sorting, and then she moved back from Florida, but I was here say like why our member with that was like get non, I'm never going to that again ever took the math again but I think I got high like every night. Like years after I mean. Years after I was enjoying it in all sure I mean for it was I moved a move to New York City where you can just dial a number and then somebody would deliver by your house, but before that.
If you wanted to get high that men go into these people's health really like, but you get all the time to grow in you act like you drop by and then year they have been offered any one of the most shameful elements of addiction is like the people you are willing to tolerate. Just like that's when I think back. That's proudly my big It's like alma go to fraud. I was like I am like I like these people. you go to ask any taser bunk I'm gonna buy really yeah, we are on the counter. To this end, I would take asset in you know Mushroom Yemen things like that, but you know it wasn't. Like you take those every day we know about right, came along cocaine, couldn't really Ford, and I didn't like how sad it made me afterwards. Yes, a rough yeah, it is wrong, but few quick? Twenty years ago you have, you had had some success while still using we're right. So obviously your budget cuts
would have allotted for some by somebody suddenly came last night and they had me sign when things had me sign. It was a g q, can shoot called dry wits, and I remember it was my first book came, I d go and do this barrel, beryl fever- and I looked at the picture anyway be weird: where ring gear rang people who had wearing here. We ve got drunk and then got stoned, Andrews Drinking ins. smoking until five o clock in the morning and then it seven thirty I went from my geeky vetch does then came back when the person show me the borderline. Do. Does that to does who we do that, I mean anybody else would say. Oh my god is g. I gotta, get a good night's sleep. I better go to sleep and maybe a lose a couple pounds before yeah yeah, yeah sure sure sure sure
where I was you know MA preferred to twenty years I want to do. Is get on tv and I had dreams of you know been on these talk shows it was like the thing I couldn't wait to do. when I get invited an decoding, o Brien and then the night before I end up with an ape on than I end up with security readily me awake and my beg my publicist Scott them to force the hotel room door open, and then I have to be on the stage in twenty minutes, and I repeat the bad, and I don't know who I'm next to you, and I shall when it's like time to be anti mean you think, I'm going to see tat all this stuff they get here and at the finish line you another night before I got a ball coke. You know and then I was asked to not be on the show for along after that performance. Are you able to write high or you would get sobered deter. I know I wrote but I never wrote high. I would just get drunk and I would write and then I would
Vito get high and read over what I'd really gone and made me such a keen added to urgently never turned into deeds hell. But I couldn't when I had it in my head that I could only right when I was drinking did you like Bukovsky growing up? I never anything my I didn't like people liked them, you're, not yeah. I got city who, who I knew who said Am I gonna get away this guy and now I wasn't sure about their taste sure. But the! So when I quit it was just You know I sat down at my desk the same time, but I tried drinking juice and work at all The coffee light switch the time and then I wrote. Ok, maybe that will help were you obviously riding in the evening yeah. Right near insulin. What
companies and I moved to New York City and then all of a sudden. I would have these assignments. You know, like assignments I mean to to participate in a reading, then I thought well cash. The reading is tonight in this story is again work on the story all day before the reading tonight then I would be drinking in the morning. would be going out. You ever goin out in New York City in. Noon and I'm drunk everybody around me? Isn't? it's a unique reeling. Isn't it my thing was these driving home from this person's. How on sand were sentence in Santa Monica in the sun would be up Saturday morning and I was on my way back to my apartment- and I see all these people jogging and I'll be like. Oh, my god, look how they're in Saturday and look what I have ahead of me a guy. I neither need to stay high, all the way again, til tonight or everywhere,
I come down, which is gonna, be almost impossible and it was just brutal seeing those healthy people getting a great start, their Saturday. I feel good, though, to be free now feels good. The same ways like smoking, I young alongside you, quit smoking ten Over ten years, A little over ten years would be a lemon or asleep. Let's at the airport or what not I just. Can't condemn them should surely they won't do what I feel. so free that I'm not dependent on that I have even more gratitude for then the drinking and drugs when see people drinking at a bar. I don't go. Oh fuck! Think that's not me now looks fine. You know I wish I could do it. Manner there seem to be doing it began I walk outside the airport or my, oh, my God, thank God, I'm not fucking you in that nothing. Gotta wasn't cranky for the last five hours on the right, because
do you not. You know they would say you. Flights could be laid by twenty minutes. That's not enough time to leave the airport and have a cigarette come back right through security and then after twenty minutes they say Oh, it's gonna be another half hour that it be like flies gear, lab banged back two yards in banana great mood. You know right. Ellie thinks funny, though, in this happened number time here at the airport new outside them cigarette, and somebody comes in says, we'll we had a connection and our flight. delayed and we're just trying to get some money together to get some lunch people go to the airport to beg for money like here and now, passing passing is our travelers. Nobody in the airport would ever
Have you give your odor euro dollars and right hand a woman did that when time she said, I came to pick up my daughter, and now they want me to pay for parking. Do you have five dollars for the parking and I thought you would You would call somebody in Sayer you a friend and say: oh my god, I'm so embarrassed him at the airport, and I have my credit card or anything. Can you bring me five dollars? Do that before you ask us here for a stronger Europe is humiliating thing: you're not gonna, do it, but I still. I really would love for you to rebuke Halsey because he's much funnier than you may be probably know.
And he wrote his whole career was drunk at nine. Always running was drunk and I think you might can identify with it all. But did you there isn't one knee in twitter name, Nan Robertson? She woke the New York Times and she wrote a book years and years ago about her life in her drinking and she lost couple fingers they because she passed out in the snow and then take your fingers all frostbite, but she was somebody who we know how real serious job. He was journalists in your times and begin secretly. She had this whole life. Getting sober. I think it was called. Maybe moves called that Nan Robert. and it was really good zoos like one of those first book, she read about somebody aha like what year did? I was well? Maybe you, like the ninety seven Israel. ok so early. I always felt like I dont have like you a great deal
the line I gave in getting to getting drunk and then so important, showing up late. I ve no fear geeky version that nowhere near as good as your Conan story. So I always kind of food That way, like my experience, because I was always discipline I love you and I know that I do. I think that what I just heard, those that I've tried tried to tromp your story now, I'm feeling guilty. That's my security, your tap I'll shine, ogier nobody knows, fell. I remind the politically both always love that my drinking was never that dramatic. I D seen more like However, there are a variety you know you were. There is an inherent an entry the story to write. It had a beginning middle man, so just not just right on a silver platter. You do have that right now, when you
It started appealing to you and where it took you and then how you ultimately would do you like to read. I mean what one of the people that their I loved early on that I still could reading and over and over- and I do it again in plenary oconnor as somebody who was different, a mere shoes, a really strong Catholic, and so I think, a lot of time. People are looking for that in our work, but I just thought she was terribly terribly funny mom, just such a good, not symbol. Writer and she somebody and her character? She come right in the same story over and over again, but I want I don't mind plenty o Connor Mina if they ve discovered something that she had done, that was your screen player. Some night Thou Mayest will meet first in line gotta, get it
and read it. You know what changes I mean, the people that you know when people say it with your favorite. You know that can tend to change, but Tobias Wolff is my daughter. You just got me so excited because you know what I was gonna tell you that I just I scare revolve around lad and scary, I'm so sorry, as you were gonna come here today, a fan sized about, maybe what writers we both light around three names, a well the bias worth Raymond Car. I felt like when my vote in favour, as I just had to do, an interview with which I think was called three books. Podcast or an interview the roman carvers, a person who are member finding. We please be quiet, please library, and just how it changed everything from me. My God, I'm so delighted. I am one of the reasons
He made writing seem so possible because his sentences were very simple and he might and they were not rhythmic at all. He might have forced This is in a row that started with the word he he knocked at the door. He waited. He knocked again came in and I thought I can do had yeah. I think he got a lot of people. Writing yeah! You don't you! dark anything I'll write right. You need a story well, but he still open, or a year a lot of people Similarly, I remember reading him in Jeanne. I was writing a town and want to be a writer and exactly what you're saying I just like. How is it that this story about a vacuum sound? men coming into this person's house and then just having this weird interaction feels a thousand percent! Real! Like a feeling of witness this in real life, it's the heat, Just something was so accurate about the tone of voice,
happening between humans and, as I owe you can kind of forget the the huge protection of writing a view? Can really just lock onto that thing like Member clearly those weird internal, thoughts. Are it's almost like catcher in the rye, were it's like holding Canfield's describing sitting on the bed and you go like? Oh, I sat on a bed and felt that uncomfortable while talking to someone- and all I can think about- is how uncomfortable I m. While this person's target should be paying attention, I like does those things that I discovered from other writers, whereas like old while that's where the whole world of writing is is is that was then blame. You lead me to to Joy Williams, who is another person who wrote very simply but then there was a move towards more It was more depth and more mystery. I think to the things it she was writing a mess. I didn't drop Raymond Carver. I stole what unites the liked him here, but The number of those I guess you were called dirty realists.
It's really they ever genre here and. But it was your simplicity. Then I found inspiring to me personally that I In that led me to think that I could maybe do what they were doing. will the compliment I wanted to give you that you won't enjoyed receiving, but I will do it. Anyways is why? I was so attracted you're right, like I'm a super fan of your writing and the thing that I I like the most about it, was. you somehow have the perfect van balance between witty and clever an interesting and an economy I do think it still very approachable and simple. Yet there's just the right amount, of who I haven't read that word on a page in a book in a long time- or I haven't heard that phrase It's as if to me in the eye
think of your writing is if like, if, if Hemingway, had been a humorist, almost like there's something about it, that is very simple but yet very powerful in I just the fact that there are three Names down into having really like it, because he was a thirty It's gotta sway you a little bit and try to pick up like a trial to try- and I haven't tried in near someone when I'm with you tonight, I'm gonna come over where we are staying in town and was gone through offering over they were either area and I'll stay right you, while you read it must regain the look on her face on Madeira Yell and that we would vote on and they would be so uncomfortable right in so memorable for both of us, but I have twelve page attention span: ok, So, if I'm in front of an audience, if I'm right something I wanted to be too long to read
in rank, is your organization is no use to me in front of an audience. So I wanted to be twelve page, surrender that has a lot to do with the economy. While thanking ok, my story is great and everything, but it out of me. Then it's great everything. He said it feels good to me. I would be very upset. If you did, you feel good to me right. It's fourteen pages, long, let's get down to twelve pages yeah and new, you can always lose two pages. You know I feel bad for now of the West's right. Let's say if I were a novel, I'm not Doreen from another for an hour in front of an audience, because, if you're not into it, you just stop there. so I'd rather read for five things over the course of an hour. That way, if you're, not into something someone else will come on information work well, yeah war!
So in thinking about this, this pre beautiful balance you have. how long will you fret on a certain sentence? Is it? Is it something that, like when you're writing a sentence. I have to imagine those periods of just great flow, then I'll have to imagine some of it is like crafting a text. Message somebody you want to impress You were you sit. There were the sentence fur. a good while and go I'll think ok, this didn't get laughed like. Do something I'm workin on right now and for some reason I think it is the. I think it is terribly funny ass. A true story and it's a guy, and he dug his eyeballs out with a teaspoon narrow story yeah he ate one, but he couldn't find the
of course, the guaranteed income me then, funny. Little doesn't get the last that I think it deserves, and so I think ok they re right at her in such a way because I was wrong. Maybe high rephrase it right here, It makes me think of the shell silver steam pitcher with the guy who can't find his Hetty sitting on his head Can you remember that air engineer had now here? can't find it anywhere. Any decides, decisive, just sit down on this rock I think it's his head. You control. If you took somebody's, I'm also Witherspoon. If you send somebody down to grab, also spoke the negative, right then, but if you did it to yours yeah, yeah yeah, it's a victim was our. I right, then so that
situation, that's anxiety. It was something that I'm thinking. Ok, why does have to go back and try to get this sentence right way, but I did Oh really, only one writing teacher and he told me If you do, if you sit down and you come up with the sentence anything while look at that- sends lookin out perfect that and you should cut Oh, I wind up doing that are really it's up its precious. Probably not it's not as good as you think it is. Whose story this is one sentence in my book that I'm not sure about, and my attitude at the New Yorker said, maybe cut the sound. And I knew I was frightened, my rule when I said no I'd like to keep it and then people quote it back to me a lot from the boy
and then every time they do. I cringe a little all rail link. Cash is probably she's, probably right. Well, talking Tottenham is a line. What are my sister's commit suicide and so on Having conversation with my father, and I said why do you think she did it and he said I don't think it had anything to do with us and I thought: how could it not and doesn't the blood of every suicide? splashed back on our faces, and that was the line. What I meant was aren't we all kind of complicit char every suicide didn't work. kind of sitting around watching it happen three in slow motion, but what we are doing that and- and it was a sentence that I dont know I feel like was a little.
but precious to me. I didn't know how else what you re saying, even you, sane and knowing your writing. I dont know that reference, but even you seen it, it sounds a little more theatrical than when I think of you as a writer soldierly interesting. These are the very last thing on answers. I think I just saw a really subtle indicated time ago this is Another thing I feel like I've- maybe experience that I am cares what your you're feeling on it is, which is I'm a public figure. My family's, not a public figures, You know my my mom, my brother, my sister, and I do this podcast. So I I divulge a ton of stuff and I also write things and then I do that and our Albion talk chosen, a funny family story and then on occasion, there's been some blow back from that and dumb. Is it to juggle. Like your urine. Don't tell your story as as a writers entitled to tell her story, and then there are other key
factors in your story and is that as that Bin hard. Is there been blow back, as so many of your stories involve your your boyfriend or your family members. How do you navigate that? You say fuck it I'm going for it or no I mean I might. brother, though some stuff, my mother, used to love to be written about a floor sending business. So he got a lot of work, offer a heart we got a lot of work on land, sure but then he is kind undergone some changes lately, and he said don't wait, dimension, listen! This is kind of a drag because they got big glass. But then I thought well, I don't wanna One Mass holiday when asshole would say I don't care what you think young Anyway, you can get plenty other laughs. That's another You have a lot of stuff. You should get. Latter probably saw none of my two. I don't want to expand
anybody or I don't wanna. Do you want? you can count on the amount of people who come up to you, though, and then say I know you. I know all about you and it's like. Would he really now? I was at a dinner, with my elder sister. I know all about you, you know she has a parrot. Ah, you know she has a couple of dogs I mean what do you really think that you know about as ITALY? One in Calypso, though, that I found out I'm assuming shoes on ambient when she ate the turkey and achieve those hurdle, Gretchen doesn't care of people. I mean that's a thing: my sister Gretchen cheap,
some two's on this medication merely night and she ate these nutritional bars for her turtle and their main made out of the data flies gather the way do a flame logs arc and then she ate all the paddles offer points area which was always told, is poisonous points out. United Kingdom's will not notes, they go I've sale, but you in them ass. The best set opposition came out in the kitchen and she saw that there is GM I'll write like first she's all she had got into the water they spread. It put it on them in her turtle food but Gretchen does Gretchen knows that's funny onwards. I will you, have the perfect family for knowing what you're doing may seem pretty. They look again different. If Gretchen was rider, Gretchen might say you know what I'm already that's my story. That's amusing. That already- and there are a lot of Gretchen stories that you know, Gretchen S, job
and she needs to keep her job right, so you know some stories there, maybe even funnier, but would be detrimental. Yet I don't wanna I dont like two and even when somebody's Dan and we never things it. My sister they told me that really would have clarified a lot and it would arrive It would have made her, given people are richer understanding of her and when it was like to deal with her, but I anguish, bipolar, something she about actual medical? Yes, she added tat. She had a name is a name for what she was right by tat. There were certain if your friend told you did they, would you know Before I came to you and said I M going on this guy calmly, and so I wound up doing this. This It be completely entertain. If it's your sister telling you you can't,
Ere. I want to think of your sister about them. Snoopy doghouse yeah, So there are things I mean she wouldn't want people know women so you have to sometimes call and ass light. Ass has yeah. Do you go like all? May I really want how let us or that I may This truly serve, I reckon this story recently that that New Yorker story that disclose. So I read that her She had no problem within the New Yorker said: can you gonna get into it sooner? Can you can we condensers first three paragraphs, so I had to do and that next paragraph makes sense, so I said I'll just change. At the very least who said I dont people no longer than she was fine with people, knowing that she goes to Starbucks inner underpants rhyming in her pajamas, and yet she paid in their pajamas it Starbuck arms
What the world knowing that share. But then it was almost something like you know. I laid my hair brush on counterfeit money. I feel I dont know people yeah. people, knowing that is one I'm not gonna, try to argue who are out of a year it. So I just say: ok I don't want to. I don't want to as people in IRAN and were also unpredictable Connemara Santa beginnings. I'm Irma huge over share I'll, tell stories by shooting my pants and stuff and they needed to have an Adele sharing your lover and well you love em. Am I gonna love? We should have done two hours on it because I think that shit, my pants couple dozen times in adulthood really able to regard. Can I tell you one quick one before you're, so I'm moved into the first house ever bottles, but twelve years ago we still live in this house and when got thousand came with an extra fridge in the unlike poolroom, and I was excited, because where I grew,
if you had a second Fred. You are rich, like that was the sign that you're fuckin loaded owls. Like my I'm rich look at us, I got extra for it, so I went to costs. Get all these drinks and stop this extra fridge up, and I get all these things. I've never drink my life. Why start drinking these leaders of Pellegrino right. Every night, like my cocktail hour, cause I'm sober and I'm a loving Pellegrino. Well, I ship my pants pretty rapid succession over the course of like three months. The worst on being the third time I was building a wall in my back yard. I went to home depot and bending over to get this tongue and groove redwood and right as I lifted. I'm like I have a little far. This shouldn't be bad. I'm gonna let this out, and then I I'd like fully of full evacuation
as I have arms full of lumber, tat in a very crowded home depot and amounts to a semi irrecognizable. You know people who know me now. I like. I have all these conflicting issues like going set the wood down. Do I don't know what the fuck do in the end in the lumber department on the opposite side of home depot from the bathroom? so I'm a meal and get rid of his way through the wood down, and I started super awkward walk to the ass room and I'm walking by all these people wanting to lick. Oh my god, the stores I didn't know this big. Again inside the bathroom, and I like to take my pants off. And I have boxers on in their gone, it's a rap on the boxers and then I think I'm gonna throw the omega is a trash can install and home depot, which I never had noticed the train. generally next to the sink, and then everything is so many people should either
hands at home, Debo may, because the guys that are in the front there eating this weird truck food or whatever. Neither here nor there, the point is? It was such a bottom up moment for me about. Should you may pass on my only gonna run this three times the last three months I have. I Yes, I have clearly I have ideas, so I go online research and I yes, diet! I am that weak ice. And IBM diet. We get my friend even comes over shown on the new house. Walk in the hay years born oh, I got all these drinks agreed, you wanna, Pellegrino Illegal oh man? Now I can't during Pellegrino shit my pants when I drink Pellegrino angle- oh my god! Damn so what's changed for the last four months I've been guzzling Pellegrino I dont have
I bs really. I too, like Ethan Shit, my pants. If I drink too much Pellegrino, so I stopped drinking the Pellegrino by the way. This is not a lack of an endorsement from voting as a lot. I tell it now. I love it answer, but I quit drinking Pellegrino and then I didn't get. My parents are a very long time after that, you would. You will run your ship, my bed ever after that, no, no, not our very alone, but an actual manageable. Like once, every eighteen month. Situation in my wife is very like she's, very, very curious about why men seem where we found in talking about this is that men tend to ship their pants and women don't, but women tend to pay their pants. It's all very. trusting and Chris
in theory is that men are just naturally more of risk. Takers like the bridge is naturally because of the testosterone. Maybe they risk takers thank without FARC in their home, deeper, where women may last year. is that the funding that there might be a biological component but no enjoy cracked yeah. It's a hard Polly studied a fund. He'll get your hand donors Arthur Foundation. We ve got to figure out where men are shooting their fans so frequently on David has been a complete pleasure in it and I would be in big trouble if I didn't tell you that my wife, a sheet she's, had arisen low with you you're afraid The writer really really wants to be friends with you, David there is an issue for Europe begins by with this
now. I know what new cars You now world to talk in the booze even the shoemaker is, and how does it yeah. You do the duet part. I dont know what your singing on your on my own, Patty Labelling, Michael mcdonald- I don't know, I always think of use my patio about. Don't you always a good measure, Michael my gun on now, because I dont know that saw under do pray. Dont know, Michael Mc Gowan. Neither do I don't think I do to those streets was once more familiar. Hurrah know about your brother now and I don't know, that's all you nearly brothers, he sang Christopher Cross. Well, that's relevant,
this fact over. You know that on accident to our total accident, why? Why would happen? Because we talk about costs for clause and saying also say great, so I was like all that was a misfire. I want to bring you in with the song that included fact Chang right get there. I also wish that had happened. Yes, oh, but but somehow it magically got to preserve across still work there, but first You said authoritative, He said I know that's not a word, but its authoritative legislation, more realer we make a book list on the young and the website in we ve just started now documentary listen, it might be time to do it. Pronounced word. I will never. You want do enormous, nominally humiliate me again. I can, I can whether that storm I can handle it p
can make them on their own table, but I'm not gonna be a part of it. You will be a party to it near Christopher. Cross musician american singer songwriter from TAT chaos. Oh there was a new Mexico, no taxes of human five Grammy awards for his debut album singles sailing sale. As you are aware, rum going, but did you learn anything about him not being pitcher on his ally. Did so he as he's he's gonna Christopher Cross Christmas, album. They threw him about. My guys know when I googled there was. There was a couple other pictures of
cover say he was on, but then, when I went on to Itunes to really look unite, double checked calamity due to an iranian trouble. So I checked, and there was not a meal with the Spaceboat Isaac Crisper Christmas elbow I mean that by the way, because I'm a big crisscross phantom scene, I don't have riding in concert. You are yes with Roses MA. Am I going to hunt It is not yet. I was going with you to the comments that I wish she is performing an canny login. Yes, the it's a yacht rock explosion. Really they fired a plan for mode does not necessarily yours alone or music, though, but Being I am many verandah happen. These people will know when you're out our house and on Plain yacht rock, I got over the stone House. the greek Cypriots owners but yeah. So no
but he also most of his albums have flamingos on them all and you really adapted the flamingos. His look kind of like gum, Jimmy Butter with the parrot. One of these guys have their signature waterfowl? Yes, why his appearance? Now Water phones should be there. yes, around a bird bath. Is did you just think of the same thing? I did about the job. When now saddest thing out my daughter's pre school, they have a pet chicken, that's been there for nine and a half years was name Mr Sylla and Mr Sharon, Now, anyway, shiny. We lost the chicken yesterday here it's gotta, be she righted chickens in she had our or a guy. Maybe I'm all also. Let me just correct. I was dead wrong, as people pointed out that all faithful is actually in fact, in
Wisconsin then why I'm in baby? You said models in Montana. A shiny now it so they shiny pass before, god this is such a sad way to, although maybe its peaceful, but through he'd, exhausting suspense brutally hot here now and down, there's a funeral today and as law, and they were encouraged to bring things that Chinese sure loved, which was so my daughter, bra blueberries. Oh, my god, but I was watching the whole thing and Anna was listening to it. Yesterday was a big event in our house in India. I thought man how cool that she goes with school or they're. Gonna like have a proper period of time where they process the loss of this chicken. Yes- and I was using into how that then really happened in my childhood and how, seems very
there s a healthy and an interesting and now and then it led me down the spiral to, but thinking about just men in general on how we. We seem to have more of an appetite for like just corruption and now in violence, all these things and I was thinking for me personally can speak for all men, but some things they're like they're so insurmountable and painful. If I really think about them that I just choose, I'm just gonna, not think I'm gonna put a fire that in a category of my head, yeah, maybe try to get to whatever the solution is by just, It's really weird? I just one of its personal or a male female thing. I think it's probably
more male, but I definitely don't think it so. Cotton dry male female thing. I think it's more. I think it's more your childhood experiences that lead you to how emotionally available you are, Yeah, but I also think it evolution airily, considering that we were the ones killing bees for hunting, mind you. I want to add that common misconception is that somehow hunting was feeding the clambered in hunting and gathering societies historically the in the mean only made up about ten percent of the diet. Women really fab re humans for all of our time. Here with that said, we did hunt and we but into some combat was the main laws. So I do think you have to have a little compartment in your head. Is a male issues like new ships can be? to get normally and bloody, and I'm just gonna go to the civil zone in my head, where I can do that true. The violence aspect is, I would say, probably deaf,
when a lot more male breast I think a lot of. Women do there compartmentalizing aspect of hard things I am Sanyo feels like weaken. We can shift into a psychopath state of mind men when necessary. Yeah, but I think women can do that sociopath equate monotonous, psychopath wait a moment. I'm gonna go murder somebody, but they can still put faint while I Can they will say this? I give you an example. Let's say that might come to find out. Christian is murdered, one of our neighbours. I can't think anything more grotesque or horrible than having to chop someone up to get rid of the evidence. But I would go. Aren't here's what needs doing I'm gonna, I'm gonna, do this year to keep her out of prison.
I think I have a zone in my brain I could get to where I can. I can do that because it needed doing well, The Christian could chop someone up for me. Could you job someone Monica someone a good choppin yeah you think that the idea I mean it have to be really. Obviously extreme circles are always hypothetical. I probably wouldn't be able to do it for recreation my. I wouldn't be able to deploy, wouldn't be able to do for a spouse battle happens, so I don't know, but I probably would be able to do it for the trial, the air, maybe I don't I mean we don't go away
written in a murder and will see this other thing you're. Also using the person that, like it's so unrealized, she would never does one help some light in this very heavy conversation about dismember somebody faggot stacks. Faggot stacks that somebody met David. The house, that's the name of a house in the little hamlet, when written and you wanted it because of the name and then the people change the name. So if you sit in that case, it would be no means a stack of stacks of wood pieces, but then how did the George S. Where did it come from like why I don't know because fag end faggot are both in the dictionary in both in England, right Davy call cigarette I'll fire and then they call the stack tiny too
he's bound together. Faggot, I dont know how on earth there we got a homosexual. Four George of Honour, Maybe because I'm like a hundred year old man that uses the term, we can go Wentworth Conference May one. A wireless nerves will tell us how to make the leap. From an innocent stack stay, I guess, because maybe the sticks are lying, flimsy yeah. We will be doing that ok, they were of cigarettes Royce fags and homosexuals are smoking hot near me, maybe was an online egg and amazing star negative other than the turn negative males are weird compliment you asked a plague of takes was the first or second story and naked. He couldn't remember. In its second story, we talk about how
you think. Well, you know this. This current culture of sensitivity, is mainly happening not by the people, but by their advocates. Ma Am, I think, often true, but I still think is something like the pair prince of meaning. Disabled kid appearance of a disabled kid. have a right think they still feel those things in the way that the kid does, probably more, because that you know me, you have kids. If somebody me into your kids or does something to York it, you are probably going to feel that more than they are. But again I don't think there's a single example of were apparent of a kid with disability observed that serious overman was calling kid, a name to their face. If the whole thing is theoretical and hypothetical because
That being said, the anybody will know in the example of his example. It was they were. They were at his thing. It was the cancer thing. Ok that you issues that you she was there with her son who had cancer here, but I would say that I know its not her right to be offended by proxy that evolution. because you're yes, yes, the ear Kid with whatever they have is, is not separate Your kid is a part of you and you are also dealing with whatever this issue in a way If that is true, struggle and hard and probably a mental burden, and all of these things lose no, it's hard, but it is not their outrage or insult or her feelings to? Have it really isn't it's not theirs? They aren't they dont of cancer, so they can't. I
my dad had. Cancer is the same extension. I can be mad at people who make cancer jokes, because my dad had cancer of my dad wanted to be upset about cancer, jokes. That would be his right but meeting it is me trying to Guinean on some. That's, not even mine. I need it, but the fuck out of the whole thing is yours: if you you ve, let your living with fair to any are experiencing at Dayton. Do what I'm living with his caring for someone cancer. So now I makes a joke about a caregiver of cancer than I have a right to be upset, but I dont have cancer in the ads, arrogant to say yes, her friend by someone else's said. I think if you just it's not as black and white as that is how people can burned. totally divorce themselves from the thing if there are around the thing all the time and there dealing with it in their own way mean that it is not as easy as that. I don't think it's easy and I think what they do. Is they go? Oh, my god, you just made this job over my son and my son, struggling with this head of hurt my son's feelings, and now I'm really upset because my son was her on top of having user. But at that point
You owe yourself as someone who is truthful with themselves, you have the legation ask your son. Was the debt, hurt your feelings and want to comfort them in em? They say no, then you're! You! to get over yourself, the person who has it's not even offended you need to get over yourself, yeah. We, but neat were assuming that that step is happening. You you are assuming that I'm assuming that the kid was, and so did my care arrives, Roger and weed. We don't that we don't know but I'll give you the one that really up That's me is I've heard a bunch of great molesting jokes. I've been molested, though jobs are still funny, whether I was more it or not. I am not triggered by that it there seen anything about my scenario that I deserve that they're making a very clever funny joke that I can acknowledge is funny in there people who have not been was it will say you can't tat there is nothing funny about being. Unless there is nothing funny man,
Northern Ireland was Maloney near their full shirk as they weren't molested. If they're saying that, but there's a some things. I have an experience that I think are offensive and not and also not funny you're. Not you can think things funny and not imbibed have no problem with someone thinking something's, not funny. I have a big big problem of people telling comedians what they're allowed to and not make jokes about. I think that's Porsche. Will they? they don't, they may be, they can't say it, but they have a right to not think it's funny to not listen to their stuff. To do not complain about the it's when someone's writing them article about Sir Silverman in their not even the person there defending when they're just an advocate, well just once in they just want attention? They want to make a point that they want to get out there, and I think I think so. Do I defend I defend things The time on here that I'm not that's fine, you can act personally,
I would I would have an issue about which you don't do like work. Best friends. You hear someone make the joke exerts a great joke about a boy scout leader. Timmy in their walking out into the forest and its a time and He says: I'm scared. It's dark here in the scout leader says? How do you think if you're, gonna walk out of here alone- that's of money. joke, know we're friends, you got that's not funny, because my friend Dax was molested and change the course of his life I don't want you to do that. I want to anyone to do that. I understand, but you also can't stop that person from thinking in their head. I that does isn't funny to me because I I do know personally that that in life,
cause of my relationship with somebody else is a painful thing, and I do so so that isn't making. I dont think it's funny dense. I might have known she was someone not thinking someone's something's funny. This whole conversation were having which started David said heiresses, having a guess, wrote him a letter to comply. Yeah. I'm just saying that you are, in my opinion, are. Acting as if it's very easy to separate yourself from other things that are adjacent to you. When everything just all sort of one expedient like it's one experience, your experience on life is not just solely what you are experiencing, of course, not yeah yeah. But you can't sue someone. We have a mug, your child sue them, because he you
the main cause, pain and hardship from the mugging. You didn't receive yeah. You know I just think, there's there's very clear boundaries about. But what is your grievance and what is someone else's grievance Suicide contagion that in two thousand fourteen. There was an article in the New York Times. That said when Marilyn Monroe died with the causes, Probable suicide the months after there was. I got it He was coverage, widespread sorrow and according to study the suit. I'd rate in the: U S, jump by twelve percent. Allow compare with the same month in the previous year, sir. Never so yeah and that this others there is often a strong, effective celebrity suicide. Specifically. So it's interesting what bookie theatre. He loves Kabuki theatre yeah.
what is so interest the I've ever heard. Anyone really rave about Kabuki Theatre, Glasgow, Japanese ants drama known, the stylus nation of its drama and for the elaborate make up one besides it's performers. He said. That means the instrument he thought was Carter Shhh Amazon, the data Jonathan, yes, he thought it was a to string instrument, three strengths. Ok, so he was fifty percent off. I'm yours dimension, cricket and my. I played cricket, and you cannot ask me about a little there. Did you tell him that I don't approve of now? I never get on the horn and talks about why he played the yeah well in India. I guess what I've seen and there were many other games. So ok, so in aid All of cocaine I think you mentioned at a time, but I just decided to do some googling on my own and then I'll emanate,
for the world in case they don't know in a ball is three and a half Grams, one way of such rights combat. I never knew that cholera, yeah and. I don't know this part of it, but but perhaps when you get cocaine, that's not been cut, usually like being shipped off of it. Key low. So it's a clump rights are generally, if you get a of color uncut bit of cocaine and is in a like a big rock or a long and lily. Generally looks like a ball of its good tat, poor It looks like a marrow, never your pride, yet no lotta baby laxative, and I just want to make sure people know we weren't being cavalier a bow bag. people who don't I'm money and who are begging for money on at the airport and that the gas station and stuff. I just want to be clear about that because you think I may have read, as is just
unlike laughing Lord Hog, about maybe you know, tell me, was much more was commenting on the com aspect exactly on gas which exactly, and so I just wanted to make that clear, and that was what we were laughing at the sort of like the boy s story, yes near they should- just to ask your great, I never hear you need a jury asking around ok the Nan Robert Sin, but they. Mentioned that he really liked is not I'm getting sober. It's called getting better inside alcoholics. Anonymous me came out in July. Nineteen. Eighty eight you are ones years old allies I was all my joy reading on. I was not in quite why weren't quite watch alive nineteen agent. You read it now, for eleven months old war. Flannery Oconnor, you city, you hadn't really,
red and be you heard about right now? Really the real her in school or really yeah well and course: we had to return school because she's from Georgia, oh yeah, should be fully on us. When I hear Flannery, I actually even think it's a guy. I only know one Flannery and ease the guy who owns Largo and he's a man sooner Flannery yearns term as my irish air the flying around one thing I want to mention the TIM. The two buys Wolf moment where he screamed. Oh, my God in the EP. It does not come off as crazy sounding or as dramatic as it did in person or really yes, armchair. he's in person. It was so loud and jarring. So jarring. So
Out of nowhere made everyone uncomfortable and scared really sit, we react to say you guys all thought. Maybe I got stung by a beer. Somebody dramatic could happen real time me area yeah, exactly dirty. Real is authors. Is Tom by Bill Buford of Coranto magazine. To define a north american literary movement, writers and this sub category realism, I said to depict the c mere or more mundane aspects of ordinary life and spare unadorned language and Europe. dear boy is considered the godfather. Yes, the count, oh Bukovsky, yeah. Oh, I thought you were going to say that I am Raymond. Carbonizing ruin their allies war from a bunch of other people, but yeah, because visa yeah I was he's very Hemingway, ask which sort of which is kind of that. One thing that we
and a blue pass, but that I like so much tat he said was You can always lose two pages, because I think them It's him away more special, then any one realizes, because artists in general are generally so rash. Yes, so precious it so hard to even cut in order to allow in areas like me than just always lose two pages, and that is really involved in a very good lesson to writers that like, if he's doing that, then you could write a five hundred page book if he wanted to ensure good he's beings really smart about it. Ok, the shell silver steam picture picture of the head. Ah, a hum is call it's the upon called the loser. Oh man, oh sir, you guys can check it out, beers, good, it's pretty. Yet
I love me some Shell Silverstone me tell: did you ever see the book? It was a grown up book and it was like among them was in. It was kept in. Another area of our works was for grown ups yandah. There is like some sexual stuff in it, but one of almost my favorite was it shows this. Very regal handsome actor walking down. odd way he walks in the theatre he goes backstage, he puts on a fat sue. He puts on bald wig goes out on stage. He does. Is performance of an old fat. Bald man comes Incas roses. He comes back. He takes a bald wig off. He takes the fancy. Then he goes home and when he gets his house. He takes his real wig off and he undoes is girdle and he is the guy that he's going through prosthetics to me, I think that that thing like once a week, I think avow, I love savings is really true tools. poignant near our work, better.
Our points. Seti is poison S. No one is sure how this myths started. All, though, is often attributed to the nineteen nineteen death of a girl whose parents that shit in points Eddie Elites Oh yeah, it's all growing up, weren't. You warned around Christmas time Linzer yeah those red beautiful planet. Yes, but it said the truth is and Katy would have said about five hundred points. Eddie leaves didn't get sick all. so really only a warning. Two point: zero farmers sharing their families share and of their children have Pica Herpes, eating disorders. Ring you compulsory growing there like public alarm. It can ensure on paper a lot yeah, that's fair! I am your swallowing. I think I might.
girlfriend Kari was obsessed with Piko Piko, whatever it is that she knew all these stories about. Like one I mean fewer discretion advised likes, they pulled, someone had to get opened up and they pulled up like a four pound ball here are some ages have too much hair form it takes away for power, a really big six heads a hairy. I can think of is like the terrain like untill, sea or one of those channels. Colic. My strange obsession yeah now you reside in prison. I watch more like a girl, like I had half talcum powder, but there. The craziest homes is this woman loved even sand. She had to be feeling from my worst grains of sand. In my mind, is eating like a good bucket of sand at their most of them. Have a mound nourishment right like there's some a lot of those do. Maybe I'm writing. I e a peak about yeah there's something happening. I've heard that, but I think it also might be two different things. My paper thing does
same as weird anxiety mean that lesson. Mall now alma she'll get ideas, irritable package. We are now but you aren't weak if you have it in. You said that when you thought you had it you're like last week- and I have this They are not weak. If you have, I know you're, not. I guess. I'm thing I also have a right is source. If you like, I am a male nourished whom we can. You were living off, Kara Syrup along the early years. That's all that's everything here and now You know. One thing we didn't talk about in less in this week's fact check, which I just thought. I regretted that it never came up in the fact check of Portugal, the man is that you notice that
John Dene Organization has, of course, at some point. In the interview you known as John, had what appeared to be very strong hands. I know right got kind of transfixed uh yeah. I did they were you able to build a whole attraction of based on that foundation. Of his light his hand I did they well mainly because he was so what no sweet men very nice. Very soft spoke again and and then I bet I kind of his hands and I was like we learn. Something cannot see there's some secret power, some secret stray that got you kind of going on as it does on him,
can't imagine general be Lizzie Future ups, or should he or anyone who knows junk early his pass on them beloved is strong hands. I love you, my uncle S, hands.