Ike Barinholtz (Mad TV, The Mindy Project, Neighbors, Blockers) is an American comedian, screenwriter, actor and most likable human. Ike sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss his time on Mad TV, he recalls lying to his parents about dropping out of college and he details a demoralizing job as a telemarketer. Dax attributes his current sense of humor to a young encounter with men on work release and Ike is too tired to make love at night. Dax and Ike do impressions of nearly every human and they both agree that the most terrible experiences make the best stories.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello, everybody. My name is MAX plus blurred and year. Listening to arm chair, expert, I'm joined by practical, broad mass. here. We are nearly warriors Monday morning now today, we made a new friend. We didn't we I mean this son. A gun, Ike Baron halts what a maim Ike yeah, good name, strong name always seen em and movies never bumped into him. Prowl around these city streets? In LOS Angeles, I strike up conversations with other, as bans never met Ike yeah boy, I fall head over heels in love with him yeah. He is a fun guy. He really is. I think you need Zone Podcast YAP. It wouldn't want that to compete with ours, I'd be worth that he was so nice would be worth it survived so funny in such a good heart. I would lessen every day
I kind of fell in them. Did you yeah, yeah, big time before we get to Ike? It got by the way, guys it's hysterical, he's really he found himself. We come in New York last reminder virtually or next. Now, alas, reminder and see us by. I am in Brooklyn September. Twenty second birth shawl is sold out. Second show has a couple seats left. We just secured our line up today. It is fuckin tastes, divine guys. What do we get tasty little line up also next week is gonna be away week for you guys dash ITALY yeah sure we think it is good place. We can try leading up to the premier up season. Three, the good place and we're gonna have a bunch of the Good Place brass,
and talent. We have for episodes for you next week. All boy get your seatbelt on. Because it's gonna be mom. Ten plus hours chat and come here with a in this week in preparation of next week get a comfortable chair. You're gonna need it. You'd get piled up ass, a rash ends, yeah get some tree Agus succulent and shadow macaroni and cheese, a layer of beauty blunder out. You can apply some make up while you're at it. What a good time it'll be also check out. Ike's movie called the oath. It sounds really exciting. I'm looking or to watching it. Hopefully y'all will seek it out and watch it as well without further Ado, Ike Baron halts arm
their export is supported by Stamp Stockholm. Monica dont, you'd love. Getting things done immediately, asked my favorite thing when you can as white but offer to do list sufficiency, trombone, Bilbil, point click. Well, that's what happens at stamps, Doc. You can use all the services at the post office right on your desk. or your phone. You can buy imprint real. You postage for any letter or any package. You can do it. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, Monica you wake up at three in the morning tomorrow night, whichever and you like getting stamps for our business, you don't set your alarm clock waiting for the Post office to open. You can handle it immediately at your convenience when you want to do it, please guys trust Amazon com. It is awesome for your business right now used Dax for this special offer for weak trial. It includes postage in a digital scale. Don't wait go to
hey I'm stuck com before you do anything else: click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in d, a acts that stamps dot com enter day he's like welcome interact, and I thank you for having me it's really an armchair near really I let it go on I'm too for Dark David Harbour. You He gave you like, I'm not us I share her, yet any so masculine like you got here and I too fella get invited a grizzly bear into the attic, looks like a grisly heated, did he's a dude dude. I some of them
carpet at the suicide squad primarily was all hobbled on crutches, but he's one of silver system beard crazy hobbled. On crutches, I thought your majesty said the suicide sisters, Cancer Valley with scissor sister I saw his ancestors gases- are sisters we honor, right here. Monica nigh we drove together and someone's gotta Prevost Bus on Hobart and super into motor rooms like the erratic, excited by modern homes. It's a meal they have our motto whom sitting over there on Hobart and I had to stop and find out, whose motor home is this. Who owns a previous in these gals loading up a trailer, said: suicide, girls, suicide, girls, taxes, I'd sisters, sisters in others, the suicide girls, that's like a half of them in their scissors sisters, and now you tell me, there's suicides is quite scissors. Sisters is a thing other than lesbian. Thus, scissor sisters is a bend. Your mama,
yeah Does it take your mama ah no words your grandpa over the whole family, so about family first Cousin come on Uncle Fred coming down since early made say, lad. It is not always salad has about a family picnic, rarely here comes Mark, bosoms as cousin Jeff Report Someone always not. Don't make cousin gentleman looking well. What's his back, crack. Scissors sisters was approach. I guess a pejorative for lesbians began to sex act where your scissor yet, and I think there are like a fully gave
looking at any one another. They took it the terms that yeah they owned it. That's why I love my thereby fangs. Yes, some people say you're a big fuckin idiot. I'm like I know I on it and I can say I'm an idiot but you're about to tell may we are we brood some coffee, it's really good by the men I pods. I just You don't really nice pods, word intricacies buzz It is right to say that when I ask, if you want to coffee, you had such a specific, Yes, you gotta, go hey you wanna Covey, Nigger, yeah and then I'm new immediately. You have an agreement with yourself bright, I met you were about to break it. Does that accurate? I have been the damn thing: a cup of coffee, round, awake India with it you three three three girls yeah between five and fight So all we yeah it's it's crazy about yeah and then
I have a second cup and then I too, I try to keep it a three day. What my heart to explode- and I usually do that third cup around twelve thirty, but you offered it to me the end and the cops look cool de Ryan. I tell you even with powdered Kremer powder. Under a kremer- think I'm in four compares right now, a forensic I wanna tell you, though, back before I quit Kramer ok guys. I too have a strained relationship with coffee, which is, I gotta, know how many I'm having therefore even star I'll drink. Twelve now part palpitation. One of the core guys it go straight black. Why I, as is one of the deal's I made myself like four years ago. I was like only in the morning and men and then it became well. You can have another cup around noon if you dont use Kramer. So so, he's got up and then so I wanted that second cup bad enough, that I started drinking it and then slowly as you, not I'm good with this, but when
Are. You still was using Kramer? I use that powder Kramer aiming to how is it that I really like it? It's a call. It's a coffee, mate product. I was using vanilla front in our coffee made for years. That is, I think, that's original I dont want. That's original notice. Have no that's originally alyosha. Yes, I was using vanilla. Alright, I stop using the look we're just because I read what was in it and its it is. There is not one thing: is it palm oil are somehow moil partially hydrogenated soybean oil motor oil is it's really added the only organic byproduct greeting to get near absolutely anything organic xo. But now, what would review if you dont, have a game plan for coffee? What will you do you do about money back up, give any trouble sleeping. I dont, because I too join a little little bit of Mindanao newly legal marijuana marijuana,
I might take a little blueberry. What's a blueberry, it's like a dried blueberry that dip in Sharm pot and get them. how you it's a lovely way to finish tonight. I put on the part a land of my wife, had have a great night sleep. I dont her the kid screaming grind did it and I wake up and I'm still really tired, but I do not know tat. I knew I don't have to go to school, because otherwise my my head is just like a maelstrom. It's always just didn't, do nothing of twenty million things, and if I don't have a little bit of a little bit of a help shot at the end of the night. To me out. You need them bad made, my wife crazy. We need to pull like a, the over your ears, yes, metaphorical, hoodie and what time will you take the blueberry? Well, You guys we have to get a better, really early names of life, so the boy, the part that bad boy by nine, thirty nine there are you guys it's Friday? How take too? I don't care. I am raising herself bottoms up. Nine,
thirty bottoms of nine thirty by ten. I have just this wonderful light feeling where funny with my wife and and and before you know it. I'm just in a deep are while that sounds heavenly. It's kind of lovely activists is your wife parts. She doesn't she does like now. She doesn't. Used to a while ago, but she doesn't get to personal. We just met nine minutes ago driveway, but did you will you make love sometimes on that blueberry? I have. I have it it. It is if you can find it harder, the end of the night. Again, it's gonna look more like a headset We have to know the kids relaunch and petroleum and talk to you for settlement with a quick sentiment of conversation hi. It's really that, like the end of the night thing is, is very that ship sailed out he's tired, yeah it's time. long day it might not an ever return, either because by the time you
We're not gonna be totally couple as the Germans would say at the end of the nine, does this zero caput you you'll, be even older, yeah right. You understand your eyes. I Agora is there anything worse for old women than Viagra has neither like they ve been the commercials there like. He asked my husband, but in the real it's like they don't really want that. Guy, all nine, our boner, an old man, especially Prajapati yeah. No, I prisons, not good I can agree with you more. In fact, many years ago. Eighty seven years ago I wrote a cartoon.
called brave old world, and it was, I wrote it- responds to hearing and empires our new story that Lake Okeechobee Florida was the highest. Our fast spreading nasty, be rate in the country or the seniors in right is because all these seniors or now invite anger on him. The zero sex ed training in another condom hanging pregnant caregiver, yet where they care they're, pomp and damp all day, long shared by all, helps horizontal walk in another shuffle board like targets on a pain downstairs, not good, but but dear boy, I guess thought why attics I went What the optimists wrought with it, which is like a you, your retirement used to blow you'd, go to that community and the EU is tired and all enormous up, but now you can. We Newton, HD agent, you could be out, you can be doing by Agora. You could be doing testosterone replacement, like you could be at the primary why? But it slowly hired like when I'm on an airplane- and I regret the inflame magazine and you see liquor
sixty four year old man would like white hair, but he's like Jack. That has, as I know, has actually the guy you're talking about. Let me, as you couldn't see, we're in blue geniality genes, shortlist genes and he's like frequently looked a little with those like MIKE Pence phase. I go even further and say, looks like pop. I, like he looks like a cartoon guarantee AIDS grazing dislike. You should die, don't know at that point. You should really just be like. You know, quietly watching all firm. You know you know I'd. Let them that honey. Let's order, some more workers, originals D. Have you now is that you should be doing like, like reverse ugly? branches and three eight Maxie now, like when your nine, these you never heavy day, did never get over. Seventy, no more drops! That's you know that Bodybuilder Kai
yeah I ass. He did you watch that Netflix documentary. No, I was caught her. Yes, I must tell you that at the current generation irish idea, I urge you to watch it cause. I got, I will say a kind of say this a lot, but I stand by this one. I think the funniest thirty seconds of anything I've ever seen in my life. There is one bodybuilder in the in the show and he's very unconventional. He works out very violently and easy He himself and quite often right in his easel literally in the middle of a questionnaire where they say to him a lot of proponents are saying: you're gonna get injured before the big show no way not happening What do you know he goes into? I saw this identity documents. Another they buy me get hurt me gets out. What do we? Do? We get some recent wars? Yes, it isn't
writer, I'm a writer. I would never be brave enough to write his speech. I then he gets on a horse rots off in fucking, threegs everything, and these are so muscular. I now that we need a fallen round its like watching. Someone drop a huge safe off the back of a truck like the way bounces. So disturbing. You know everything shatter broke tenants now with such a drive it, although he might be nice guy and move in a movie, came up to the first. Like our real agro blow memorial Agro blowhard. I love any work. I loved pumping. I oh and I ask that Papua computer impression but moment. If money goes you don't you get the picture it's like coming you now yet how lucky maggot common the GMO Day and then come over ninety Covent garden. Big, come in your mind the governor one, you for real, ok, he's in the documentary knees. I you
the people want to know what the pump is like and then tell them it's just like the great feeling you know when you're coming so then you in the gym you're having a feeling of a common than you walking down the street, the home and you coming and your house communism is the greatest feeling I get to come out the unlucky. My he said he's too will first or mobility at even if you're, not into muscles like I am shamelessly- and I live like looked at my instagram and it's either like pictures it like a cheeseburger or by a giant too, to exclude hats. Oh yeah, I follow a lot of sites that are just clearly gay there. I M a county. Yea asked me to these ones called jocks, something inside these innovative guys doing like runnin forties. Unlike type shorts, easy there, penises robbing and I've been working love. I love it so much it's the way this thing for me, but I'm bumping iron, as is the very well made daguerreotype bits of it. They really just the parting. It's called it doc. You drama, there's some writing in it and what not bottom
I'm obsessed with swords, Nigger I was lucky enough to become friends with him, oh my god, and deserve to second account of that. I got invited deride motorcycles, tomorrow's, like hey, buddy, let's go right, motorcycles governs gonna, be done. You meet a five of those in the hangs along. We wait where we meaning so I mean like five in the morning the coroner beseeching in sunset, MRS Wallis, still a governor. I show up there's like suburban the full security detail and then, like eight, ride motorcycles up to the rock store. We have breakfast agenda but the bathroom I come back and when I sit down sorting goes down C Mon seemed the pomp of single without a paddle, you hilarious, really talented and in my mind I like this is impossible. So Nigger seem punkin without a paddle, and I am I am for loading. I dont even hear what said the rest of the breakfast right. So the breakfast ends go to get back on the motorcycles and tomorrow, like how much
What's in the hammer knows all my shit, he goes all bodies, do you wonder the batteries are, who the fuck is this guy? Who brought this guy? I told them always really bunnies uneasy, literally distributed ambivalent. It's fucking attacks at their breakfast, my own presentation of right and then ten days later, the phone rings and I go hello and I hear a woman. She goes. I please hold for the governor, Ok, you know who, whose fucking with me and sure enough gig dogs the really enjoyed, meaning you at the breakfast the other day. You know to do some fundraising, love it. If you could come out on stage and introduce me and do you person, nation, the mere think, people love it and I go. I go but back then I was a libertarian lab sense change, but I go oh Arnold that so flattering I'd love to do that, but
I can't zero republic a Republican owes me too. I know why, because I believe it. hurrying to address other runs the Republican Party in the playful, but I'm a libertarian. Like you anyways, I said get Mozart, God and, of course, the agent bring about like rallies and and point I am I had they I was. I did to roast him. Some charity thing in all I did was read from his book at night I generous but yeah and education of a body builder, it's a phenomenal reed. Please read it I'll, give you my copy. I will so brazen and he's like he writes it. Nineteen sixty aches always known as one Mr Universe. Things like that without an ongoing, given the show business and become the biggest movie star in the world like his power of positive things, easier driven person ever ever ever so anyways, I would read a passage of him and Franco which who was his buddy you're a short little by Franco and Premier yup. They would
the woods and live waits naked in it is by far the gayest passage you ve ever read here like this. Like four, go and I was really get the pomp. We need fresh meat and drink wine. It be naked, like all barbaric, genes from roman times now would pause are and how could this even metaphorical anymore, like I think you just said you are pumping Franco Naked, make it into whatever hijack the fucker I thought you enjoy, you always loved muscles like when you were a kid. You didn't care about it. So much love shorts and organise a kid. I loved commando income, and I came out as, like all my god. This is the greatest movie as in Algiers him. Killing like two hundred men slowly, how those weird and though there were in DC cab. And they were also had their own, like Conan style now. The Paul brothers is that remain Nepal and I'm kind of register
annually with movies and stuff, like I've, ever played the movie game. Now I so ya, you did you play so name any movie, thief. So I wouldn't afternoon actor from fright at all. I could say James COM, but I'm an essay Jim Baluchi from now you have the delusion I don't know anybody the sand, the war for as long as you don't know jumble, I knows, is good. No, it's good! It may makes you good bet on it. So if you kid name and then you get a letter like horse so let me spell movie ah Is this a dominated a lot of sense that I've been on my life and I found some people that are incredible its ray game and I for some reason I just like love movies, so much the kitten we would watch movies over and over again it read books about movies and read like Roger Edwards,
and I just in my brain there I can tell you that I could go for five deep on call sheets for films. I've seen one I've never seen that's an incredible. It's incredible! Aren't incredibly useless, while not near business plan is game last year, but I mean I don't worry. I wish you good, but rules based after a while I'll tell you how it could manifests itself, as you establish yourself as someone who knows a lot about film and then weirdly your opinion on whatever senior about the film. It goes up a brac elevate, yeah, it's I've, never seen a movie and then I'll make it up, but I think we had shoot from these frames right just say something sounds vaguely. Oh, I don't know about this light line where I bet you were talking about the game where you have you seen actor, I feel like a letter writers rooms play this where there's an actor,
You have to figure out there, the for movies on their I'm db, supplemental honor, I'm at school, not with its never before you would also immediately A little bit of a random element, as in Ireland can figure out there, and I don't like that, but there's over them and then and no one knows what it is. Probably the four biggest box office. It's the level My guess, but I think what Monica saying is that there's a random, maybe there's a war nominated movie, they gets something. Do you know Doug Benson that me? I do I'm actually doing Doug's podcast next month he's, in other words, guys who knows like everything he does He plays a very fun games on stage or he basically opens up the Leonard Molten, Mamma and Malta. We'll go to a movie, that's a thief and he starts reading backwards. So as a clump of act, they're getting less and less known as you get towards the end of paragraph, so he starts backwards and your basically it's who can get the movie
Daphne with his eyes, like name that tune with them, I was pushed through or got ya. I like the guy, can go very deep. I could even tell you and leave the I believed in his girlfriend. Tuesday, Welsh Absolute, any other body guard in his first move movie ever of romanian area, who was a real live Chicago Patterson Arnica lay my right now to my uncle birdie Feinstein passed away three years ago. Is a sea pity for thirty years, as he beady Ashikaga police department, I'll catch him inferring we're partners get the fuck out today to hang out with us a few times, hold on a second in what this is in the seventies, they were partners in the seventies where they get early seventies or the live where they get in their beaks wedding dirty. I mean what I have done, cargo in the seventies you are allowed to. Basically, I won't be a gangster violence. I u story, because both parties are pepper.
Thank God I mean I'm sorry, the thing God they ve passed. This right is over. This is a cool story, so I heard this from Chicago COP and we talked about freedoms at my uncle's funeral and I was like so you ve closer three goes. I e disguised countesses navies got to school rate Polish Chicago tough, his nails x. It was all I loved Danny Danny was a great guy. I loved them is brother was a real piece of work, though all those years ago he was on the other side of the fence, He was a thief and I use a piece of shit their dialogue, another dead, then doktor some shit, brother, the brothers Fuckin broke into the office and stole a bunch of shit from the office. Why, Amanda. The next item on the lack of Rome. I see
he's loading a fucking machine gun he's putting bullets in a clip. I don't what are you doing? What I'm doing? I'm going to go? Fucking kill my brother, I was a different time. Man, crazy shit, I've gone Maybe it's my own fantasy, but I do feel like. Basically, there are just two gangs: almost a whole host of the gangster hangs over there. What's the difference, guy did it was. It was crazy at memorial, tubes, crazy was all these old all the cops in their eighties lot of whom are still smoke, cigarettes arouse an fuckin one guy rather nice. Don't we just talk about your night, so is like it was. One of those funeral homes were like had like, like the main parking lot was
kind of like one level. Men like you went upstairs to like the entrance of light. The parlour and one of the cottage was so fuckin all probably happened: the bag. It just drove up the stairs all parked his fuckin car like in front of them in full. Click the front door, so they d only car and you are neither an appeal: ladders, man, he was like a cow or you can walk, is how upstairs, but you can't disassemble the coward Garza rumours cap is the reverse. Go I don't. what it says about me, but I that appeals to me oh lot being dirty cop and seventy you at all yeah. I would like to personally like me, your yeah New York or even Chicago any bigger than this even outlay. well yeah. Like I love there were any movie, that's about dirty cop Somalia potential. I could just put them moving my veins. Watching over again Circa colic
I don't want that world. There is always a noise Kristen about me, I'm like really drawn to Pablo Escobar. All these. I cartel people and in dirty cops I'm does I want that such and such a first was very funny world because everyone's so immoral guy AG even the cops we look out for a search taken money taken, so just the kind of nature of its funds and it's just exciting and like sexy. So weird, because I'm with you I'm like I could watch emerging up, move your dirty cop show. Also, I would imagine the right Chanel so easy to follow its like you break into some apartment, to grab some bad guys and then there's two million dollars of poles, money. I guess I can't agent feeling morally Vienna The compromise by taking some assholes money would be such an easy bridge. For me to Krakow is like Russell crows, big thing. An american gangster that you're the guy who return a million dollars, is again member them
whether the Mobutu, someone calls him I got my way he's jewish. What I love revelations and movies. I love it even with Chino in Scarlet our car leaders way you ve started up a genome heat the sword, maybe maybe maybe not so he'd right- is like this in a seminal movie for a lot of guys, re out, blew me away, but it's always been kind of We are merely because half of it is incredible that the Euro Bank robbery, stuff off is amazing, talking so, but she has always been. crazy, that right he's like hourly erratic, unlike what I am here, I guess it's a bit of a turn off, sometimes because it's so fucking nuts. and someone told me the story of its part of one up. It. They shot like three whole days of all patina stuff, the first three days and cheat. They shoppy Signor, Pastrini, Patrick
keeps doing cocaine, handsomely, snorting, blausser, castor and now, when you think about it with context, it's great, they did a guy's ETA can fuckin crazy carpet. As in all these complex reward, you gonna give you got him right, just like it's crazy without thinking that he makes perfect sense. My brother you are going to. No there's two Pacino spent like his first hens career, really talking like ants railing, really kind of high Any he's. Gonna turn can't really great I think it is somewhat positive, reinforce reaffirmation that I'm just gonna, Canada. I pulled a new and better way disaster. Now I did
position for us now. I can guess why I wanted to be, but I you took a timid tv. Yet when I saw you come from Chicago and I got eyes Ella that you set it like. It was Harvard. I come from Chicago Home of the saucy hum of obese people, but yet now I was doing you know a lot of problems. Cargo is doing and paralympic second city and annoyance theatre in like every lead once a year, they would have like NBC or personnel scouts com unevenly die to get in that group. But I bolted and went to aims I read that the two year years I went there for couple years into the steer group called boom. Chicago am it was it? Was this tiny little star accompany they started back and ninety three and it was like to american guys who are backing through Europe and are like a real of Amsterdam, but the comedy scene is horrible, its
why it's whack, as I think that was actually wiggly whack and they were like. Let's let us start like a second city type theatre. So there was no relationship between the two. No, I am hardly thought there than was out and they were just like they picked Chicago because it has a competition. A comedy and boom, no one has any fucking idea why it's the weirdest name but and then by the time, I got there are ninety nine it had really taken off and into this, like three hundred seat dinner theatre in like we would get day. You know dutch celebrity yonder bonds, the director of our prime minister and above indemnity ever he never gave as Brussels whenever I am to see your show, but I wanted to come, but I couldn't come Sorry I was doing. Can I ask of cooking gets going? I want as a valid question so have so using
you couldn't make it because you gonna get. I couldn't make it because I couldn't be there and I was shooting double strength to and I slipped in their fellow you into a pile of block. Ok, I guy wanted to come and I will come next time now. This injury used sustained and not its, and it is in no way a threat to your splits is none on. I studied the splits on their kitchen the this morning and kicked J. I do every morning under the splits on the kitchen just to keep Limburg to keep in shape. Some rather stay from war arm, chair experts their eighty is supported, love and admiration by Hallo, fresh Monica Where did you get here? The tasty jumpers? Last night I had that call our pension, a MAC, and Cheese Hampshire. I must sucker for a nice pan said how deep in court salty,
I was so glad I want with a sesame beef taco with a quick pickled veggie in spicy Grandma thousand Gun I love that word and I love how Kramer tasted cucumbers and radishes it was Crispin snappy. It was delicious. I tell you what we prepared the son of a gun and under twenty minutes, is only seven hundred ten calories wow. I maintain my girlish figure and an figure and look I like to eat me. That's me. I understand. If you don't, they have three plans, they have classic veggie and family and, let me just say rediscover the joy of cooking. I like working on cars,
The reason I like it has a I'm saving a couple bucks, but I'd love having to focus on steps of something cuz. Then I can't think about whether I am high status enough for have enough money. It takes me out of my head, it's so pleasurable to be off the hamster wheel. If you subscribe, you will be paying less than ten dollars per serving and free shipping now for twenty dollars off your. Our three boxes of Hallo fresh for a total by means of sixty dollars off gotta hallo, fresh dot com, Ford, Slash, Dax, sixty and enter code Dax. Sixty that's hello, fresh dot com, Ford slashed Dac sixty. We are also courted by Chrysler Pacifica vehicle. I took to get to the attic today and I felt damn cool while driving steadily. My pacific is very gangster, its black, humble I twentieth wheels. I gotta try panel rough that kid seats in the back. That I stole so I can bring a bunch of car parts and stuff. I use it like a pickup truck ia and
with with the kids and now they are so entertained the catches, tvs and theirs. My dream is a kidnap tvs in the car and are good ones to the zoo to connect. The ecosystem is awesome. They can we watch anything back there as long as I can, he up front was in my podcast, my favorite. I guess I don't care, what's happening back there now. Listen to me, Christ, there is offering arm chair expert listeners in exclusive one thousand dollar incentive on a chrysler. Pacifica T git your. One thousand dollar offer visit Pacifica index dot com and enter your information guys that's a whole The money off just for listened armchair thanks Chrysler. My friend needs, like has probably the best vandam story ever they took my want of my best friends. He was a messenger alike in delivering scripts and shit early in his chair and heat Rwanda Vandams House in some like super hot babe answered and
the town and then she laughed and then he rolled up to the door and he Kansas script or ever any he handsome. The clipboard sign in Antwerp is so annoyed. That is asked to sign this thing and he starts signing his name normal and at the end he kind of gives it a floors and any just starts talking. Swirling the pen just kidding like what's the Jews, blender. The vital makes the fucking paper in hand and the clipboard back like really forcefully. It is everything was shredded. Other previous deliveries, we're gonna, do or was at first bomb that shredded his whole board, but then like Pompey at this I'm sorry I had to get started. You do the middle height for Alexander format, examining in you click midway through new, like this a great stone I just flew to New York a few weeks ago and about two hours in the flat I started getting like the feeling
I had food poisoning like them and they, like another hour, Amsterdam, make this noise everyone's, I'm in the first see to the plane, multiple people on the planet. We they gave you the look like I'm not in the flight attendants. God bless him really bringing me. pull compromises, ended and the whole time, unlike I just can't puke, because you can in the little bag is not an option for me because I am a violent lameter and I have a big mouth. I know that I will get residual spray, which is like the that's the a million miles- die pack bombs going. Yes, yes, yet legal nailed like it. If I was on a plane and someone vomited, and it got me no matter how many times they could fuckin buy me a Mercedes, and I do, but I do want anything to do with your, so I'm just
I maintain and hold on and as we are landing, I Minos flight attendants, but then I I can't take it and I get out and I will render the cockpit Probably people go because it's a big man ran to the landing at Boston to the bathroom and closed the door and visible. tar learner, larger and git vomiting getting the vomit should and could also like the EU can have any of that splash back in the toilet, because then, unfortunately, you do it. kill yourself an answer now and violently vomiting, and I I'm I'm standing elated plot everyone's deeply. As a quick quartier. Does it's a logistical and Bianca question? Were you shut the door behind. I was able to shut the door behind. I hope- and I didn't during your angles, hanging like you're, underneath I just figured in here, like every rally bourbon strangled at the moment, is the doors
as I am doing like a makeshift got. Goblet squat were Anders. holding the side of the bar about bowl. I could hear them already planning so they're, like. Oh This may always you the landing, although like it was going on for for at least ten minutes. I would hear people being like this is the warring. Thank you so much everyone, like all blockers, that guy diarrhoea on a plane. I M, like my point, is what is happening as they give you a good panel story, yeah, I'll give it back to Amsterdam. There you are it is, is: is my fantasy of life accurately. Are we, as you gotta, do something for two hours a day that your whole dry land breath? I will limit rather than I was twenty two
never your new Europe. By the way you were in the mood to fuck every night online, but you're. Always it is a miracle. I'm still stand yeah, and but knows it was also just like zero jobs spiritual. I learned a lot about Europe. I saw some of the greatest artist to modern times. An francs house I wouldn't we I went in France has everyday which, for the record. It roomy rumour that I thought you were so I can make out yogi senator angry tweets to that. But we have a great crew. Then we had Josh Myers and South myself, my replace centimetres and his brother Josh. My word together and then also on matters on a tv with great lady named Lisco Caskeys, a writer but Jordan, Peel, Jason Sedateness K. Canada really fun group of people there, and it was great we would do
like you said we would be like a ninety minute show a night and some others like travelling to corporate shows, but it was also like it was just like pre, nine eleven and we were stolen, the guilder so as to guilders to the dollar. So everything seemed half off. Why, unlike you, now is like out to Sunday afternoon uh, let's go to that store, whether that legally cells mushrooms illegally seldom and let's go to the park and trip for like I was the best, my God If I yeah yeah, I had a time machine I could go back to before was destructive yeah. I think I'd I choose to spend two years in Amsterdam. Luckily, legs in the jewish gene in me. For some reason I don't know why, but like always stopped me from from going away the well worn all the way, accelerated pot reports like the one they public, booze like if I go out hammered like the last thing I want for months, is
there's a fair Jackie Mason had a joke reads like this is back when he was not completely insane but he's like a after the show. over. Every single ledge and pilots audiences gonna say something drink, drink, protracted discussions about this can drink every juveniles. Insane thing did you eat yet Jews is down there and I'm only like technically like half jewish, my mom converted, but in traditionally ray the need more misery that that was the result, can Sandridge my mom converted before I was born, but how about or before, but she comes from that kind of irish stock. So I haven't been to Chicago Chicago, but the Jew part of my genes ecologist, shut off that one part of the addiction receptor for everything, but with a hard yeah, my brother, converted Judaism, I mean not neither parent jewish,
but the merry known, in fact he married upheld in Kehl billions are Christian Iraqis. Ok, we have a huge population of them in Michigan got it. So if I say they are jewish answer. Neither member jewish and they converted or you up proponents no are you and they you be. There are usually out yadda yelping. As about everyone affirmation in his members, Eggers everywhere they say yard. Today you p it's a different state. It's not only a different state. It's a different like you feel like you're in HOLLAND, or something like this is. This is so unique, yeah its wits yeah. It's like there's a single fosters island principle in biology in its if birds end up on an island, they all become flightless dip in all mammals. They gotta island will become miniature. This doubt row rule
yeah. So there's some kind of fosters ion principle about that peninsula that this is a very interesting manager, yes, our mariners yellow like if you even go to the channel islands right off the coast of California. They have in the archaeological record miniature man, as mammas that were the size of a cow railway. Yes, in there are pygmy it part of his or her pardon my the size of pigs that made it to islands off the coast of Africa and birds become bigger in flightless. There was a bird and Madagascar that is related, the ostriches called the elephant bird and it was a thousand pound bird. I saw them. In the film Madagascar believed there was voiced by Chris Rock the break the olive Amber ideology. Madagascar is rock, was usually a zebra. I think he was zebra. Then there was the lion I just want. Like a month ago, I feel like, but I fell asleep and it wasn't like that
like Saturday night, eight o clock and a beer was like my daughter, one to watch it yeah so towler. Anyhow, so is there any point when you're in Amsterdam, where an alarm clock goes off and you go, this is a little too far. I, yes, I need to lose time to me hundred percent. You know that I also I have you writing partner, whose my best friend for many years Dave Stassen and high school from me for high school actually went to camp together. so I mean we ve been friends for through another jewish thing. Jewish kids go to college. You go even though David is decidedly not yours, Shaka otherwise, decidedly Cosette assumes he's like an asymmetric orgies. Definitely not, but he's just you look at him in your like all now, you're, not you're, not yours, but also a holocaust deniers and eight he dies he ass. He has outlined. I've worked with him, he's gonna hear their city. They hate, like I used to this joke where we would walk in a pitch meetings, and I would
make a nazi reference today, doesnt before were not just relax safe because they weren't real right and an like. I mentally disabled. Happy jokes were I do they know no jokes about the holocaust. Is grandfather died there? often the guard tower. They also one day we were. We were. We repeat, we ran a ring with no over there, but I feel it is. The first is that we are in a room with off. What's his name of a good price razor ray I gripped were pitchings moving o Brien Grazer, like I made like added, just, have some kind of nazi joke and short stays like stop. Fucking making Nazi jokes jewish executives, who don't know who I am I got so we brought it up again right, but also by port by my best friend he's my partner, and we always had like dislike aspiration.
You know our notions of moving now lane and working in movies and writing movies and stuff and and Abu Chicago. I became such good friends with staff and his bow there are other friend Jill that we were elected to allay together and there was so they were ass. Like I gotta get, I gotta get the fuck out. I might go out my clubs a little too much and listened to a little too much house music and maybe doing a little too much impact in the cause of ecstasy. Now, it's God Molly and the boom boom room do well the everyday I used to say This is empty, may get the fuck out grandpa, That is where it was all being manufactured in that there was a light. Ninety it was, it was here right, you couldn't take it to a club and they were heavily stands where they were tested for you we were all it was incredible and was very save anything, but I want it was just like this why did get leave there? Did you get the Tuesday suicide? All feelings are
yeah, we get the blues pretty bad. Just fill you know that was, even in my height of my addiction, that was the one drug had to quit. Even still as a drug attic yeah has. My tolerance went up so quickly. That drug yeah, I would take like seven in a Saturday night and in the next three days he had just one single draining your serotonin holes gone gone yeah, so so that it was just that in and then just kind of you know. Why did you commands unity? A personal quenchless did you ever make, of Annexes. I did ended it. Could you explain that experience is mine? I have this was the some friends of mine have problems with that. But for me my only problem was ended No, I mean I was I was you. I tend to think that if there is something a drug that you could take rapidity you could take that can make like some felt much. Real feel good magic blockades. GonNa Villa CS in for me, too,
as my stay in power was off the charge, yeah nearly impossible, the climax, which you didn't even need decline. Unless you take too much and your head start spinning little bitten and I'll. Send you look so good others so good. I need to call my grandmother, the common remedy, pining apologize, I stole ten dollars from her in nineteen idea. That's our my mushroom trips became too. whereas like four hours of life and then two and a half hours of fierce moral inventory of every girl. I've ever been a terrible and all I would be composing letters. The last few hours of my apologies, if such a bad grand rye Abed boyfriend, but my favorite part of ecstasy to me when I was I hit the sweet spot was when you get that clicking very in looking at you and then I glanced over to Monica, but instead of it being a nice stream because quickly, click click, click, click and I'm valid. These shudder
yeah. I found a lot of my friends would experience at two year that nice click yeah just like here there was said to me like you, I was always done around music in the eye and as a reason why people to measure may require another of numerical of his eyes. There was an emergency on planet earth and how can I get a nice guy if that was the best time to like daft punk was getting big chemical brothers really surrender which, like the greatest, forget about my God? Their energy response, ever just so fuckin get so I would but back then the lovemaking. How does a yes vote with a couple times? I did it. I literally had this moment like out a body whereas, like I'm in a pornographic move. Yes like this is what being in a porno is like. I feel like I'm an opponent everytime, I have little doubt will know, say because I am a lover around in his well. Let and its well lead and it's in the valley, always always in the valley,
and its financed by a russian mafia I know you: did I had a couple friends over like I can't do it it's too crazy browser out through its I've, no problems, You left there you go to allay how quickly, after you land and allay, do you audition for mad? Oh god, not for a while. I had that by you, but I like like how year and a half or held two years, my first first edge stint allay my had held decade. but how tacky waiting out any now work until those twenty eight, but yeah, I'm I moved here and you couldn't even get like. I couldn't get a fucking job waiting tables. I might my dad's friend was D. Take assistant GM. of Morton's he was like go do Morton's and just tell them. I sent you and I'll, give you a job as a server, and I was a great
I went over there and the manager at the restaurant was late. Given experience as I now is that you're not working at a wall Thus he goes now. You are eliminated, bussing experience, so there now I call my dad's friend again as ahead and work out. There goes well it I'll. Have you tried the palm and I was like knowing go to the palm. Tell him you France's Walter Mclaren initiated, say some really he's musingly rising. You like go meet Spielberg the fund- Oh man has sea became that's where I gotta get their burden through people three hour. They need to feel that machine on. Never forget my dad told me is always wear a jacket to a job energy, no matter what the jobless, which letting red advice assurance, and so I remember now forget I put on a blazer, my only blazer ahead and I went over to the parliament. It used to be a little Santa Monica Neck NED can a nearer antennas and I
there are impending panel of conveying pants climate antennas. We're Farina he's got a fuckin shot. I walked in it like twelve thirty p M, which is the lunch rush and the the aim was their use very flustered, Eiger hello. I would like a application a great time given because you came now, and I got I go yes, yes and it s. Okay, I'm french with Walter Buckler, because you friends it Walter nuclear regulators, the ceo of parliament, It was literally like a roman friend from hugging very speedily and as a key. Yes, yes, I fronted watching us. Ok well, fill out the application I go to get someone. Could I see the boreal now customer soul crushing so eventually, by the way that I mean, if there are proof that you did not belong, there is the fact that you came
shower? I mean that everything is everything geniality it? I know I don't know it's by would go all this. Guy knows absolutely nothing about the age must get our even bend what he does, even though one it has been very easy. Last word: they come at certain times. He came at the wrong time, so so yes, so that I can now tell a marketer and what were you so we were selling or a business journals says over fifty four fifty five Wilshire Boulevard and I would call and I ve a horrible thing of like wherever I was calling like put on an accident. I was calling Tupolev like more How are you just ass? I was calling on behalf of the Temple of Business Journal and want to see all signed up last year, but didn't sign up this year, one to get you to do that all fuckin thing really yeah, really quick is on your own, a corn or you are you, and now my own accord cassettes everyone else doing a nose like why not connect with them, and I got caught a couple townspeople what you call em, Brom and I'd be like Well we're on our Sherman Avenue, he's no Sherman Avenue,
I'll go right here. It was also a terrible place to work. The people who work there were fastened awful and, it was this fight broke out one day I would love. It was very scary there, but I had a guy like you is. I don't put anything your desk, don't leave anything and you would put like a big pen in the dust go to the bathroom gone and then I notice every day it like three thirty, the the women in the office would leave and we'd have stated. For thirty- and I felt like I don't like it then goes on to go back to jail. They were on a Lord release. I am a woman woman, who was my supervisor shield committed? You are homicide, and here is my ball, yeah, so eventually thank God. I got a did, get a buzzing job at Morton's I worked with, Homework release guys at big boys in and Milford Michigan the whole cook staff was well yeah, work, release and anything that they thought was so
Fanny was, I would ride my spree mopeds to work at twelve years old in the winter and they but occasionally have to empty all the fat. The african relevance to the aid of this big vat of fat and they were taken up its fat damp be that as it may, they stopped. Increased up my whole sea of my spree with with with animal fat and is already winner and I and this in our brain agree step chicken on icy rose. I did their lucky, they didn't go back. For no wonder these. They wanted to. tell me: what are you gonna hear you gonna fight? Also your hold the s hidden in eight, I felt threatened around them. Yeah cause. I was a young pew Besson, Preview, Besson boy. I work in a restaurant. I was twelve too, with a bunch of tough guys and it was it was soon scary did. Did you have to get your like um assist in principle? To sign a thing? Is
I had to go, get like it was summer job of summer summer job. I worked at a little place in a golf course, a public golf course in Chicago where they went, they cook food and I would do like I started off just dishwashing, but by the end I was like twelve fuckin grill areas, because the guys who gall go out play soccer in the field of elect you got the girl right into the guy gets so give people you fucked up Denver awful. If anybody can, I add term fourteen, I went to work at a place that built race. Cars is way sports fab. And it was all like thirty five Euro mechanics in their sense of humour was so scared. Media was all sexual, yes, Every time I went to the bathroom what're you gonna go in their fucking jack. Your dick, like there is clearly magazines, whether toilet in it. Just like. Oh, my goodness knows what. I was Jack you, my Dick America's there's porno max.
I had no access to them at that age, but boy, did they scare me in a lot of like gay jokes toy they want areas of who was so overwhelming. I'm glad you're network, numerically pretty good. It did quickly advance my sense of humour and then I got very comfortable that stuff yeah yeah. It's also getting where the same Asian, the when we came up comedy was pretty harsh man. It was Eddie Murphy and SAM Kennison last. If you go back and annihilate her, but still it was. I was super funny and it was just a very aggressive comedy. Yes, yes, yes, you you eventually get mad tv is our first big job, my god it was like Yahoo is. I was twenty four issue and a couple of the that's her left Boscastle had loud, Alex Bursting, Emmy nominee Alex Borst enough and they hired Josh a high and it was I was like my life, went from being like pretty brood
on two legs amazing, like that yeah, hey Jack every week yet. It was a late night money, but still like great care to fuckin busboy. What I mean its name day. I had a guide to the restaurant, make us her GM anti as Canada, piece of ice keep a couple shifts her weak, and I said what I can do that would have a tape bigger something I can't like but yes, our noses at that same story, Monica who Willard are they went equators restaurant jabbering, cereal, mom Amira, like yours, giddiest tell me that I had that for sure, but we did that in the end it was fun. You know I He has really quickly. Do you did you like me? Just idolize us an owl, yes to name it was there any like duality. Did the decision, which I am so grateful to be on the show? But now I've permanently site allies. At times your uh, that's right, because the reality was lake. I I
I would see a little bit. Imagine behind them, but I loved ass, an we and an end again one of the best areas of us- and I think, was that kind of high school like ninety two. Ninety three, ninety carved MIKE Meyer. Yet I'm that so I loved personnel but legs, the the thought of even getting national. I dont even know that route, but I I I they met. He remembered the offer- and I was a great there- was not one minute of like hold out for everything else, because I was a great show. That's gonna! Let me do sketches. and they really lake Martini, really welcomed me. I remember the first. They saw me in Josh Myers through a two man show and they bought a bunch of sketches and our first live taping. We shot like two or three sketches that I wrote
like how difficult this is fucking great. I am so happy here and there last about two years of course, and then I started getting like annoy aid and end. Aren't we the worst? We are the worst. We are the worst. My frustration with mad tv was always you know. The problem is this and are being very blunt, very eyes, and I'm not trying to hurt feelings here. Is that the genesis of personnel, as always been from Lorn Michael's rights? in his mind in his taste, his peory, no matter who is that writer or whose the cast Lorn really is there's just like a comedy genius. Just as always is he's a wizard and material. owned by a guy who's, really nice guy and a smart executive. You, you know, ran warm back in the eighties, please not accompany guy, but he D. Would you know you drank, he drank the Kuwait and wanted to be, I think, a little bit of that and the problem with first line.
It always was annoyed that Matthews on Saturday night, I was every year delay comic suggestions, Gimme the untried, as they were like a mad, stop suggesting that as a good you're split your audience is before tv. By the way, I probably would have given mad tv a chance had, it was on the night I was like you, we are asking people to choose and when I come to realise that I think the original impetus from ad tv was this: let's take down ass, an act which is not really cool, but so say ten something, Mr General detractors and enemies, and now it is a law that national institution like like sixty minutes news programmes, one it as if we have one more minute, so so so that was problem and also to is just like. I was always I just because we had a great writers, financial and really good actors meant we had some. You know Jordan, Peel and Keegan Michael key in
and Michael Mcdonald, the cool Parker like all these mongers laden, real hot under the cholera, and why, for Jordan Join P? I love him he's a really good for enema this text a couple a couple days ago, haven't baggily with a revision, should reply now when he wraps let em decompress for a week or so ten days gone decay? we can comes are beginning a texting like summer but it was. We had this Greenwood creatively, weeds, really great group, and I felt like we would constantly tried playing Essen else game where we'll get guests and like everyone's and why we get a cool gas times. It was like, our answer, so I will give tee no frustrated that, and I would say let me have it as they will end up taking up a bunch of real estate depletion and it was all selfish showed all meeting selfish, but also to. I would also like, let's not, and I would give us no doesn't all too like dont. Do it. You find a sketch that hit
do instinct is to define away and it's like, and I They tell us and our lake you know, do you really kind of became ass, an all but the coroner I get the model, but I was always a matter of. We don't have to do that. We you crazy new should every week, but where was essay was turning the same thing every week. You know this care this stock care turn around and I dont have I'm not like a grumbling ride, all those groundlings or so amazing, and they could just take anything, be like Jan Peter saw that I, like you just fucking than their freaks like that- and I am more built to be like this man, you that you're being a second city, io so ice, troubled in that area and inactive, always surprised that lasted that long. In the show. I wish that I've got fired every or sub state from armchair expert. If you dare we are also supported by fab. Fit Fonda fall by
says here. Monica human receiving these fab fit fond boxes. It's so fond there. It's fab its FED on its fine. Tell me what so you get a box, it's very colorful foliage well on board colorful packaging, beautiful, beautiful you pop it open, yeah, it's just three three after treat after it is high quality stuff, rightly Vince, Commodo, yes, there's like I gotta Vince. little bag leather beautiful. What did you get? Blocker, red desert. I gotten red desert. yeah, you did that's one hundred and twenty eight dollars value. Now these boxes are only four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Yet the cumulative value in the fall box over two hundred and seventy five box a great deal there's so much sound sign and fanfare
beauty blunders and their right pro original chile pop our globe. Royal I've got new colors. It's all there. It's a whimsical set of to tee towels. What a blast I wanna get. I wish there was a dude version of this or eyes like a ranch. Sandpaper a condom will sign up for fab, fit funded data, get your fall box. The fact that fund fall backs is in limited supply in these boxes always sell out use Miko Dax to get ten dollars off your first box. Gotta fab fit fun. dot com to sign up and start giving the box or a life. Well lay abuse. Promo go Dax to get ten dollars off your first box. That's two hundred dollars for only thirty nine. Ninety nine go to fabricate fond outcome, use my kodaks to get ten dollars off your first that fit on box. So you you at a certain point. At the end of a five year, com
track. You could have re up to new jobs, no, they daily they. They. My contract, was up and solidarity to. I was like I was living with my wife, who was still my girlfriend at the time, and I was like they're going to want me back to that six season and I got to tell you I'm ready to do my own shifts up if they want me they're going to have to show me the money, the two thousand and five eloquent and applied. They showed me no money left quite literally zero and every member to my wife had taken me for my birthday to thee aspirin food and wine festive other food wife ass. One aspect that you took me to the this fancy. They were hotel and and Finally, we also need to have job my shit, but then I was still kind of gazelles like I know that I got some tape. I gotta
Are you alright real going and I'm just going to put it right into being the number one and number two on a sitcom that'll? Be you in the last few years and then we'll figure it out and Anna I just like, walked have you ever seen the road, the movie, the road, the Mccormick number one Charlie's walks ash is like leaves and walks into the whatever the fuck is going on. this, that's when I walked into an eye for about three years that was death. It was much harder. Those three years in the first two years, because you know someone said you know it's worse to have money than lose, it can never have it, and I love that's true, but it fuck inside yeah peoples, I would argue you know you I'd argue it is worse because you lose your you lose your skill set like I do. I was great living broke. Lay it whenever problem. I live for ten years on a grand a year and I did find gate sandwiches reform at people for the dinner get drunk before. I got to the bar evidence, find it is still did all the same shit, but you have. I had to go back boy, it be a big
learning. It's tough. It was tough, an egg and the worst produce just I'm workmen Yan and I were as in getting any looks casting directors were nice, but network people I tested for so many show was on him and never ever made it to that next kind of level, and you know I basically to pay the bills. I would get like small parts in lake parity movies and Stuff Rand. I did every parity movie from like two thousand five, like two thousand seven and put my partner and move David. DC to join a local nazi grip. There far Joker gonna get him now he was workin, forgive your watch pardon interruption and it was like an he s been shut. Your watch coverage of Charlottesville he created, unite the right again go. I missed you not everyone emulating, my jugs dear what part of the interruption export show with that
MIKE Wilburn, its anti european elected, very like I have only the original show, or they have two guys arguing about topic side by side. So he worked for that and he said, granted that United worked on producer taker secularism and come back to delay, and I wanna must really focus on writing. So we were a great and we wrote a couple movies that you know what you know you when you, when you back looked back you, firstly, roads terrible, we already hormonal, is becoming an idea for a movie am wee. Wee wee wee worked on it and we said this movie makes sense in it's funny in its day. He was like it's our sensibility and we sold it file and from the animals. That is a reality and can I just say really quick people underestimate, because I'm a writer as well. If you think, actings hard talk in writing, it's been possible, its impact.
it's impossible so to sell something. I was trying to do that way. Longer those try to act in India and I think it s impossible, hears it impossible. You know you you, you know you have people who read in their all nice and some people believe, although we didn't extra but would like to meet when you go the meeting, but once you sell something yeah we sort of universal was the movie that central intelligence rope. We resulted in info I point out as a kind of copyright or to use them movie this is so new line for people who don't know much about new line in there under Warner Brothers but day they will keep a script around and they ll keep trying to figure out put. And together we sold it to universal actually and then it went to New Lorraine went back to universal, but they will find scripts had been dormant four year here, because you want what did you cells and is already in two thousand and either eight or two thousand and nine Maybe ten years later, biotic politically and in a lot like horrible bosses, I was attached to that twelve years ago,
now and then the covered, like the ghost of girlfriends past, was written in like ninety. Ninety seven nursed her dislike I find these where the mailers was yet, where the Miller, I think another and a cool. It's like generally, when you have a script, isomer Idiot fuckin dead. Well, that's something about nine Rossen Ferber is that heat both central intelligence and where the Miller's he like saw these projects that were just sitting there in his leg. These heavily conceptually strong, backbones yeah. I can work with this and he got both of them to the screen is really testament Gerasa. Yes, cell, but we saw that and as was look, I'm not gonna enact be an actor anymore because I'm no one's interested and I'm just gonna write, so we
again, with a few exceptions, small parts here and there I was just bright in it. I have a lot of respect for people who, right because it is by far the hideous aspect of the whole business with us like. If you want you, you get an addition and you spend less than three days an added value, but I used to walk and traditions basically cold, because I was like I'm fuckin charming, and then I realized that that's a hobby why I never booked apart! Ever and now I have to like you kind of the off its delegation for shit once in a while the ivy. I was forced to do that because I have Dyslexia and I can't be caught holding the script in an audition cause. I will get Lawson, alas, I'll get all fucked up the owl, just never an option from rising sure yeah. I learn how to do that, but the point is like: maybe you spend two three days on yeah, I'm kind of learning very quickly if you're not gonna, get it but like if it's something you refer, suspect script. Polish,
you ve spent months on it, and then it goes out to the ten hours of his words you respect and it goes out to the town and these cricket news updates in Hawaii well on Monday at Lionsgate, didn't think it was right for them in paramount the past, but universal a new line and and Fox and they're all filled up and then like, and then I've learned in this business, bad news travels very slow, the Good NEWS right away. The bad news is kind of tears out another matter and what's really pretty undeniable, two issues I would assume like me, I think all my son
so the same greatness like all. I have no barometer of what's great ones not, but but it cannot be a coincidence that the good ones within three hours there's a phone call outrage and three studios Y yeah. It's it ever. It's never like what it's either for one or nobody wants yet of exile is a consensus we out admitted or not, but it so personal glue catches like I was at the groundlings young. I write six a week. I am dead. Certain all six are of equal comedic value yeah and you just put him up and running that's my thing. I still think everything is under. As unmentionables is hysterical, no wonder it's crazy to, especially when you're ready to show cuz people like you know I was Hitler, grant schedule thing in a submarine. You know you're writing a show and you got the date up on the wall and you're leaning towards and it's crazy and people get. easy about the material and sketch I'll. Never forget we're doing absurd running our new show from Chicago and I think was Josh my
drove to sketch and adjusted work. Judges shouted did work most Duff and most on among almost every scattered about and and right away. We try to people start a kind of picking it apart and indeed you get really mad and remember just like walking ass good coffee and it's always at last line. You say you're really remedy. I know he does. He goes a fact. As you know, you're just a bunch of you put your fuckin little baby, vampires we all agree with Emma Bonino. You get very precious, Will you really funny is the character I ended up? Doing in idiosyncrasy was one that just was always polarizing. Can I wrote a kindly unimpressionable fleas daily? I go. I bearing
he's like a dumb ass, the fucking greatest character, the greatest movie. I love it's. There was genuinely a guy, my high school, who spoke identical to Fredo's, something I've been doing with my best friend air weekly. My whole life out my boss, like anything you're in trouble, Villa all forward our souls. Any thy, we're sheds, Gregory Alike- so you're, not some over the phone, like we be fact than we talk like this guy who does as always in over his head right, and so I did did since I was seventeen and then, of course, in the grounds we are introducing character. That was one I would bring up, should always have people fucking hated it in and have loved. It knows in the mental known. Just as I do know is that good or bad there, like the wars, most annoying families by the way- and I note like so like cliche- to be like it's happening now, but like it fuck it guys like you, look like someone
rallies in your like it's like Camacho coming out. I wish about the performer of the year, and that movie is this Terry arising out of control. Will my cat, like he'd, just collected people and oh yeah like like the out my balls guy yeah ah, he would go see, do stand up. Who didn't really have a penchant for doing still love this guy's dedication to doing stand up in any is in the movie saw Michael actually Willie these in the move, because which was loaded because we like the ghetto boys, he's the pan, ah fuck, right up trade with I might go out to get a voice, I love and there they were. They were amazing map yeah this year took a treat in ghettos of three dinner this year We are just like a theme. It wasn't even
host a hollow weighing that's unjust d s agus older shit. Like answer bogey flip me over I'm a back door opened them about cheeks started. Looking up my ass off like who can write a la rhyme like there was so much ass eating and ninety that you have a low member at two levels. Rules like liquor should too due to be worked out in Miami. I lie honestly remember thinking like two young. I couldn't even rap ahead of you, like my experience at the mechanics, yeah I'll get it together, but I like it pay. So the weirdly there's a little parallels between you and Southern Evan, yeah yeah right as you, worked with him. If you got you guys bond, unlike we love, I I I remember when I first saw sets rogue and I was like the sky so Brady's my age and ease, and then I was like he's fucking, seven years younger than me this piece of shit. I was very big fan his though I kind of
breaks and gigs. The jug movement really was a big thing. For me, I was just a comedy for me: Were you a lover, Haider. You selling lover. Was there any one know that used to bash on cause you're just simply jealous? Oh god, I'm sure I mean I had that with the recently parts that I like a lost out to her and there are those that guy that I would see the other guy got her, but the parts and I was lost to were always people that did a much better job. Events happened, leg, like additionally, Jim Halpert. Like John guidance, he did a much better job than I voted. Should it be Anti Dwyer Chris presented a much better job and I would have done so like there was always that but tourmaline jealousy, I don't know another tv we had with Europe and people Allah, which kind of
we have on the outer above me out. I way I like doing that either I get I mean how badly was top and it was like an you're hoping to work with these people. Now I know- and there are some people who, like I didn't care that idea like made twenty day cook, all its object going to go further I was wondering, there's like they wanted me to make fun of John Marconi the debt. Frazier and I was like I love Frazier. I love jumbo haughty. Ah, yes, I was aspect at an early lava that show, but both terms of seven Evan, I just huge fans of of their sensibility error, like literally with my my partner, would look at them and has agreed
is what we should do like. If we were younger and canadian, we could be these guys and, and I loved love, love super bat like having like the first forty Vanessa, so bad. I put up against any movie knowledge glass, forty five bad adjust the first forty five is so high school and so real to me. Yes, but I was huge funds, those guys and then I first met Seth WEBS doing eastbound down ass. He came indeed one scene he's in the cold open of last December last season I was in are the OECD knows it and I'll never get where we all stated that they shoot that in a moment in Europe, do not understand this hotel called the blockade, runner and It may again, with a blockade runner the black. What is that was the listener? it's probably some leg wildly about the confederate shit
so I am but but I'm so sorry I was there in my hotel room and Danny Mcbride called me that it was amount due to several and as you know, I am a big fan of cocoa keys downstairs. Hotel you'll do we have to have some? We must call cocoa taking well with industries have sat looking waivers of we them so like I go down and I knock on the door, and I hear they. I hear that voice clearly shedding mortgage working off. I beg our or bound to a chair or brown who would share but like it takes her magic, I'm the door. He comes in any good living, delivering Amelia Brian yeah. It's a! U is like doesn't hold on a rock to deny.
The year were only not at all, and he comes to doing that. and I got home- something like a grandpa, like God, Charles burning, and what do you want? I go am I give her a guy? I got some we'd free use. Oh oh thank you and I give it to him. He looks remedies, but a closer does you you caught me at a bad moment. Civilising aren't coin so then, later that night, like ice, I seem like were hanging out on you know, and I see him or her now nine June. I think he thought I was just like appear like damage assistance or something. You know that It should now hung out with arms, and then then I should cool guy, unanimous using a pattern,
super cool guy, but then very shortly thereafter, words, but a year later, after eastbound, I got here by many on the many projects than he, amen, didn't episode of the many project and hung out more and then when there's all publicly acknowledge how gracious and generously is that he goes and does the man you show he doesn't sound down. He's got my podcast. What a guy he's agree like it, genuine match. Amazing Madge Dementias meant and then from kind of amending the he brought me in four neighbours and that's gonna, how I got hacked into his pipe was war or have any that that is a. That is a fun where I told her. I told us downwards: darn but like like, I like us out, like the pot, yeah elect posture, and I can function a little bit like I can do
dumbly right when I'm on pie right right, a motorcycle right, a motorcycle operate in a fork, live fancy, fencing our I'd matter. I run a whole day care, but but there's something I can't do and he is able to add another still does it, but he can't he's like GAB Irving, Dahlberg bodies is again of the original mogul of Hollywood, but he is able to be stolen hobby like smoking. I envy like air old, I Toby emigrate ordinary. I think it's good. I would hold out once again that the trailer you're not too long to fuckin long, they gonna cut tens and hold a lot. we like you, the script area, no, no, no, no eleven and I ll fix nice. It's all, but one thing and I hold. I would take away my lunch with that. Dame gets
my two thirty with our lot, but he just able to do so. Many do not down that dubious and then it just I admire it yeah and he has the greatest fuck and we'd man. I know you don't but, like my dad comes at the neighbors to Premier Party in less what at the after party and they have like twelve different hotel rooms that different it out- people mover rimmed, robe and I'm talking assassinate me. I pulls out a joint, and my dad like I do see my deadened periphery start salivating coming over and surf hands in the joint. I look up my damn ago. One hit one and he d take steals hit like a real baby boomers. Like You don't mean asked they takes. It Make the site of the joint you didn't. I got down smelled he's smelled
front of aid, which is so like that listen romancing, astound Bay, was my dad's mosses. I come here to this end, like three months later, my brother's areas, it worse dad aspect and we looked through every single room until he. Finally, the last room it like that if the hallway he's sitting by himself in a sweet like in the corner, just like sitting quietly I can remember going home, ok, his mom birdie money no makes her white wine, I should like at right, yeah, but we can escape origin and we can't we are where we are our hands and we are what we, literally literally with the wheel: arbitrary biological. It are but yeah my mom not so much dad, but dead dead and drew a moment, data cool or an obvious at all, yet laid back there like great. There was a lawyer
tat was a lawyer and mom. You know mom really got involve a school and stuff. Once my brother came, she was really kind of full time. Mom fulltime school stuff, like chill fun cool. me no liberal, baby boomers. Your dad was clearly have to be an academic to to get a lot agree and pass the bar thousand shovel, first we want dad was acting major, thereby theatre, major, so relay sixty nine and at a hostile nineteen. Seventy three eyes date: and dad was like, I'm going to I'm going to do it and it was a great time to be in Chicago because Belushi and yeah
clarity and how Rhamnus were really big and he start doing some stand up and he played some clubs, and I think I have quickly. I know he was it out just a lot of our parents. They got married, so young, so much I can make a married em. I think you gonna have that in our opinion of huh. How do you make this work? Tat, go on the road and sacrifice a family, or do I try to make it work am, or do I get the job,
the longest hours humanly possible unless it in another way evaporated legged, you boomerang Joe, the latter, but now he went to law school and you know I always catholic. He sacrificing showbiz dreams are my brother and I can have ours which is. While I am always happy to talk about shock. Is he loves it like he? I never forget. We were in a came out to visit the commander Latin. We were at the whole foods overrun Third Fairfax and were in the protests, and he comes up to me and just like nudges man, motions to someone, and I look and see this older, blue black man above looking vegetables, and that is why there may be some guys. It's him and I look up and I Oh, that its Clarence Williams, the third, an actor from the tv show the monster, but you would have
but that it was Sanrio, Jack Zaire, city courtiers will Smith and I go America's gotta talk to him. oh, let alone pickers parental than she would have liked to pray ass yet, but I was just I just don't want I don't. I never want to bother anyone while don't you think, that's because our parents earn extension of our own ego as we are an extension of theirs errands appearance and they they feel like they're, the ones that just said something bonkers. but they did it and we all know there's a big delineation between parent child that isn't funny out just affects you, your powerless over Amex, crazy man crazy admitting it might. Luckily, my dad like for you. I met him. An extra unimaginable get one time any hated. It so much that leg, but I have some
and whose parents are like that. That's a comment to be in this since I got ass, let's give everything separate Zia, but it is in. Is he he's able your father because he was accessible as lawyer? I presume he was we were we weren't. We were like animals. regiment. He succeeded at his ease, absolutely lever. We never wanted food. You know I mean Where were wanting for food, and we were like what I would describe as like, which probably gone now, which is like just kissing up middle class were like we, we weena, we live in a very small apartment in Chicago and in the middle of the city. and will you write downtown uptown? I lived on the north side like about a mile from Malaysia off topic. You read: Devil Devil nights, it s movement, so fine, having grown up there to read it, but my partner, Dave, the non swedish overseer the his house that he grew up and was built by
Burnham no way? I saw that's like the best Jakarta book of all time and there are some greatly well. I had been Chicago million times, having grown up in Detroit or not seen others buildings? I could give a flying thought. I rather like an annex I was in Chicago. I took the silly boat tour, their love of how only not me the movie, I know LEO keeps try make up at them with ease like I'm. Just like it's written to be a movie. Yes, I mean come on the better, maybe like some like a really see azure, I love martian by saying that he is asking us that he is. He had his own success. He did not. Actually Elsie S is able to to watch you just from a great place, or is there any envy now it's a great place and its fun place just wants to couldn't be reading for his sons, more and and just I think she is tickled by what we do
That's because when he comes out like he couldn't be happier than all that non. Also, he probably as a perspective. That is hard for us to have, which is he'd, never forgets. You were a tiny little baby in his apartment, Chicago and now you're making a living doing this. He is not looking at you going. Why is and he Adam Sandler, no god right, but were wrapped in our world bags Sandler. How do I get that's the thing that was. Some parents were like the jealousy cuts in them dislike fact that that's really sad yeah now my parents have like. I got kicked out of college. Well, that's what kind of leading towards that you dead clearly did well in school If he became a lie you did and you did not idle terrible and psychological. I love my teachers and I loved being at school, but I I just couldn't focus I hated studying. I hear homework whatever. It was inattention issue. A little bit I'm sure now, Ivy prescribed some I see no nice big fat rhythm pillar some. I
drew the reading. I just wouldn't do the reading. They wanted me to do. If we are reading about. You know the federalist papers, I would be reading about like the Civil Rights ACT or vice versa. I just was, but I love my teachers and I was just I just want to hang on my friends and watch tv and watch movies and shit, but I I didn't well enough to get into like some kind of programme at Boston University and I was like the bad. No, there get college them. The bad program or their like. If you do well here, then you can pivot right into the collar Let me now, if I didn't know that it's a basically like it's basically like trust, one kids hockey players or like getting athletes, yeah yeah, I got into it and I love Boston. I hated view I hated being there. I'm crazy I've never done drugs before, All the sudden smoking weed meeting mushrooms- I was, I was definitely lay and then I really was that I wanted. I know to do with these. I just stop corner class, but I told my parents that everything is going.
And I was like a kind of game, a fucking piece by piece and my dad, my fuckin than it was said to me my friend, I'm gonna, take you on a vacation I dream about removing other taken a vacation to Ellen LAS Vegas because you finished your first year college in I'm so proud of you so I was by the way by the way this is apparent because that is so much more so that while fuckin unimaginable- and I know it's coming kind of So it takes me to get a good ally is great trip. We see my cousin Adam risk can make a mini living a lie. I am like, so terrified the hammers about dropped and it dropped the moment of your like shopping for tuxedos, to marry a woman in your gay, I'm going nuts I was a gay man day of my wedding to a beautiful woman. Yes, and
We are in the hotel room at. I think we're at the Universal Hilton any this before cellphones caused my mom I go haywire about about Europe, but what what's wrong boy the ground? Like a fool, I cry what what flock and turned me. Those did you get kicked out of college and I was I watch now. Double down double down all and they like on the way to the airport ladys the truth are strictly economic. Well, as I do not want to class, flew back in the southwest, fled from allies, Chicago it's a three row and- there was a guy not something between us but sitting next to my dad and I'm in the middle and my dad's just yelling at me, and then he said,
cry. My own satisfy ever he's: gonna kill! You lied about your bathroom beak. I do us like also guess what manner Fuckin College Catholic Oak oh yeah dollars, so it was pretty fucking for a minute. I'll bet my my mind and speak to me for like a week, which is unheard of in my house and I also said to them to our security, went back to being Catholic just for that too, really nodded You are now joined a nunnery. Your heart is in the count your mother is a nun now So I said to tell you I'm not going back. I don't want to do it and you know what I'm gonna do I like acting Blob Lahti. They knew that I, like comedy and submit it, took me to see the improbable epic fifteenth anniversary. You ve been doing the best for the environment, fuckin, mom and dad in the world and because-
He was friends with a woman. His brother was theater and when I saw the atom Mackay Amy Poor- and civically TIM meadows was so funny that I was at all. I want to do something like this, and that was really now. I got into The whole improv see as Dublin. I gotta say my parents. They came to probably three hundred improv shows, if not more over the years. like came every one and even the ones that we're like you, you know like they're nice for theirs projects where there's enough a death camp is funnier a fuckin ambrosia or when it goes back on it I was bad and you start trying to overcompensate swearing in going blue, it's the worst and they just they came to every one and just were so supportive of never look back. That's raising them. Did you have a plan? like what was your planning it out of this college situated no, no, I was just like. I knew I was gonna get a lot of trouble and I they said if I could retake five classes.
Baby, all guidelines, basically I've glasses and I was like I'm not really mad and I was like of movies, and I was like I want to do something about the nano wasn't really entire. This moment of clarity like one of those seminal moment in my life, will be watching. Ten meadows do M impersonate like Mars. And peoples or something and made me laugh so hard that I was like this feels like something I could do is really for an amendment from their it's like. You started in classes and then that the path kind of present itself, where it's like? Well, the rolls the second city main stage in the ultimate goal. After that it s an owl and- and so then the good ass, a kind of laid out for you, and I think I just at different points. It took these little weird turns Amsterdam's or weird had he read. It took me a little weird direction and then all of this movie, rain took a little redirection of the path is always there and I just kind of took these old detours to get to kind of where I wanted big. Can I ask you a personal question: did you deal with break up the same way? You know
that college scenario was clear, headed a hundred percent, but I never. I never had a real growth from format life. Oh really, never not none nothing for more than like a few maybe a month or so just cause. I was so probably afraid of intimacy. I got a little bit when I was with agreements I loved you like laid bare Naked Cargan luxuriances inhibitor, but, like I just didn't one be tethered, anything right, I m sure I would do that horrible thing of they now called ghosting yeah his ignore them and I and I feel bad, but I was never like you know- meaning or anything I was german. I know that's inherently mean, but I would just kind of be like you know I'll give you call this week and then, as now not cool in so you, I guess it's safe to say your ear deserve really afraid a conflict or you just terrified of disappointing people, both those those too
I think that I dont my conflict, but when that happens, I think I handle it very well, even legal, hotter and the collar. I think I still like I've very quick to resolve like if I get it, dame over something like we'll get will be like you when five minutes. Let him like we're cool right, he's a gay that music, the perfect fight, get it out quickly and make up right away. Ok, but the boat, the line of work you ve chosen. You are businessperson person. Entrepreneurs are, you have you ve chosen a career or its now, there's a ton of negotiation. Basically, you get to a point where you get a note on a scrap manned. You have two at times see their point of view of those items you gotta fight in you got it. You get approve why you are correct, and so it is a business.
does require some assertiveness and be in being able to two hash it out. You have you gotten better at indefinitely, and I think I learned a lot of that from India. Ok, watching mini and notes calls was great because she just has his point of view. Like looked reality, as is not every net note. They gave his bat for sure. I give you good note Sometimes- and I think, she's, just very quick at Identifying- let's go to me like that- is so great, ass, a rate and then really your battles. Yes, in you know the kind of move I've slowly discovered in the passages like embraced, the fuck out of the four you agree with and basically is again or the other ones. Don't don't spend your capital fight, he met me just the first do the four: they loved turn that and see what they think. Yes even comes back up again
and you can can have that fight and the notes you don't like DR version of it. If you want to London, I can we try that we finally really talk that one out and weak. We couldn't get there on that one, but I think you're right It's like a few seven enthusiastic and not lying you're. Actually like this is good lomna Take these notes and organization that work with them and stuff at then. I think it just put some of them in a better mood and then you're able to come and still get your your your way. We love men lawyer. So maybe one or two comments. While she was, she won't come on. Let's after I could do exact cause, I tweeted her publicly. The shipping, she sucks. She thinks she sucks unpardonably bullshit. I heard you. I've heard you on fresh air and stuff. That's not true! dude. I'm gonna get her on a manoeuvre. She is so she I never met anyone like her. he is so so goddamn funny and then just such a dear dear friend, and has such a just crazy perspective on life. She's she's, the Bosman. She gave me some. I was like it. I was really
her. I still to this day. I never had a network approve me to be on a tv show. Ever in every came down the network, it always recast, like hotter guy did you concoct any conspiracy theories in your had yeah. What was weird face? Ok, T did you did you signal out? Ok, so you think I mean it was teeth and was also just like. I think my nostrils aren't symmetrical. That's a big their humbling. Are there any any any instead, nonsense: metrics their identity as a negative lay like they like the letter. You know, but but many was like you know what I got hired to be read in the show she said I want you to be on the show and she went to the network. Was a he's gonna be the got you not casting any.
Else like tat, I got a bad for you like that, and also not just keep you relegated to like the three line in episode. Guy and early on, give you stories, and it was like the nice thing. So fuckin mobile did Ya Aids. We is its we're fine this to be a little pervasive among us, and I get work comes from its Like It is so hard to achieve steady work in this business amidst nearly upon us in so eat. You dont, want to ever acknowledge that you were the recipient, fuck the something about it like that. You, don't you admit like: does it so hard, you We are the only accomplishment of having struggled and on the share and then in it makes you a little. Has In my own case, it's like there were people periods of time where I were. I would just kind of ignore the fact that ashen
literally pulled me out of a haystack. I want needle and that's why I'm sitting here and so do cause. If ten yourself so unlucky, but there was a lightning bolt of luck and I think, there's a light, and you know that you can have all these things you gotta be worker, you got some modicum of talent, and then you need a fuckin, somehow Mindy Kaling's got up like fall in love with you and in want to help you- and I had like people like that, like Nicole Sullivan, was on mad tv and saw my two man show was like I'm going to bring them at producers here like we need help I'm, not I'm leg willing to take. I wanted leg. Let people know that I had a lot of help and if the reality, a visit wasn't for some of those people. I would not be here right attack ideology. it's very life affirming to see someone like you who just has worked hard when funny stayed nor lame been humble. All those things have success. It so fantastic and I think when you do it the way you ve done it, you can build a foundation that I think you and I will talk many times over the next couple of decades
I'm happy for you. Is there anything you have coming out the unit on? Yes, I have a movie that I directed regular, a thumb, regular, it's called the oath, the oath. It's coming out, it'll be an ally in New York October. Two of kind and is going to wider after that is produced by accusing you Bruce get out. I can black Landsmen, these awesome, guys Sean and rain, and it's it's a movie that is very topical. Ok, basically, all about If you can imagine a world where the present United States is obsessed with loyalty and energy, Some kind of semi mandated loyalty, oath citizenry attack Countries politically polarize were half people thinks not a big deal. I think it's fascism, and they deserve to sign, so he I now I know now lay and that's kind of the dead. Deadline to sign it is the Friday after Thanksgiving
Who is it kind of a horror movie? It's a comedy thriller, the trailers up on my twitter feed in the Gatt out vain, it's it's definitely lay better than get yours, I better get out. Jordan's shit. I've seen Amelia movies like get out a joint one of my best friend what version that I've ever him telling me like what it's about unemployment? Thinking like ok, yeah, that's it and then I went to the opening night like holy shit. It's as it is so great because Jordan took the two things that he likes the most and combine them, which our horror, films and for awkward white people story areas today that these guys produced in and its it SAM. It's funny it's fucking, weird, whose, me and Tiffany had ashore the stars of it. wasn't Harding at her honestly, I wrote it before girls trip even came out and I was
of yours in Kyoto, the movie Jordan Kagan ran at that she's in a night is loved her. I wanted to be my wife and a movie and I wrote it and then, while she was reading, girls trip came out and she started becoming adage, but cod, lesser she's acknowledge movies, but what's happening right now, like that he did it that's John Show, wasn't it whose amazing my brother played my brother in it and so good You really believe your brother, I really believe everything really believe carry browning and a great actor named Billy Magnuson, who is he was? Did you watch the Ryan, the Odessa? Yes, lovely was Cato Kalen. Ah, she is still good, and yet I it's gonna be interesting to see how this movie is received, because it's in ITALY alone polarized can there be some people who will be like? I may come to one like it, but I think it's
really I'm really proud of it. I'll get a sight of her for folks to check it out. You in the movie that was in your head, it came out, it came out exactly in my view, ridding also really manners. A matter is all about like, but it has actually gonna have intervened account, that's care about them. It's the first thing I've ever put out. That's can you know like when you a hidden, that's the first time ever been like it wasn't any one else Writing wasn't anyone else to share it with all that, for better or worse, for better or worse, I want to know no finances, but I was just pitching this to Monica the other day. I want to make a whole movie. That is sincere. That only leads up to a single joke where you just he's been ninety minutes, creating a dead, real world. We right have you been watching
so rocket all now, I'm gonna start the it's so great is so great a hurry. I dont want succession for if we look at things honestly, top five best music ever in a tv show so fucking uncle and the same score overnight over never deny relations. What level of la so anyway, watching castle rock and there's one sentence. It couldn't be more serious address, so I can be another murder and all this stuff in there tight on this actor in a mirror and their point on they're pulling up their point out and I got home. I got Monica if they just kept blowing up and he had no pants on and he was urinating, but not touching and they did this all show. Just there is a full outward may have grown. Man is theme you like a baby p. I would just it would have to go History, is the greatest Munich moment of all that I just want to commit. much energy to tell us single twenty five out of it.
You go right back to the drama. Your dad got, Sir Hopkins. It's called old man, pissing Disease Polina. You think it's gonna reveal that is about to get murdered and noises he's urinating, self and he doesn't know why. There's no explanation at speak of yours, There is a little too majority because I know you ve had a second me yeah. I have one o congratulate. I just took the jock strap off yesterday. What you owe you just age? I will make three weeks the worst thing. We, your jack's, every three weeks after taking yeah hatchet, because when I did not get this horrible pain
but when you were a strap pulls everything up and I sit down to pee, sometimes all while all Rita I had to take a shower because I'm a jump. I am, I got mine on a Wednesday Friday. I was in another state filming, Samson commercial jumping trampling that's real fucking Christ, but is it was an I'm? I'm I'm a recovering attic and occasional. I get to take opiates, per my wife dolls them out yet she gets the prescription. Didn't I get em, you could cut my fingers off, it's worth it so like whatever bad story you ever am. I all I know is that I was being, but I was on purchaser and it was worth it and then I wish I could get a double the sector. It is like a reverse it and taken away and the figure as they want to stipulate. I turn those over immediately. Yet our doled out to me by a sober person, is ok while Ike
such a pleasure having you I'm so glad you came in India. Did this very very exciting? you're, telling me how much and look forward to seeing the outcome. Awesome. Yes, the oath October the fly to allay? That's? Where you gonna be Albania, it's it's an hour. I don't wanna go from Burma, earlier citizen. If you want to Is there a flight from exile, expertly man? No, of course not I mean that for alleged reserve like crazy, crazy millionaire. Well, I wouldn't think like a shit, I'm on vegetable over it, but I've got a meeting in Madeira Heights in an hour. Would I do yeah? I'm not rule out, though, that a flight that left Taipei wasn't running on a few all got stuck in the holding pattern had to set down a Burbank for some more gas and took off her went by death There has been time. Yes, it's happened. Yeah I got a flight, I didn't have you could barbers wider Taipei share.
Anne Marie how to I will end up the tank I gotta shorter labelling is not member best take what what are you talking about this issue like a bug it listening, don't worry about everyone safe, but just make it just enough, so we barely two Burbank ya wanna come in, the fumes sputtering. As with a can touch down my eye We started this in the driveway with a hog ended with. I love you thanks for coming and please come back. I love you guys think so much now my favorite part of the show the bag check with my soul, mate Monica bad men, I don't want no facts. Facts are a man. They can't get. No love from me, hang on, the passenger side of his best friends rat. Do holler me, there's a girl, You came over the last second, oh I love that's our scrubbs knows
yeah? No one knows grab a man. Can do you love me you're, looking away now now again, I was thinking about the lyrics. Our friend, we're friends, we're lucky enough to be friends with IRA Glass in IRA Glass wants Monica, add some music to this. So really pump punch up the production volume of vaccine. Is he not The fact that we provide musings be must be that this does not look as all of music. By back shepherd. This doesn't check out contact them or figure it out. I, like all die tall guy, superstar guy wide shoulders, big man, big man came into the attic. I feel you get a little spooked when there's another time I may add a few things I think haven't called spook levelling wake
like. Ok, this guy loses its share to you. It's like pop out. It's a pop up. I gotta be prepared. I go this. This since a real threat to every one in the room it if they lose their marbles sheriff. I'm always like maritime law story fable where you know someone might go, they might cabin fever. yeah you're, ready for someone to blow at all times, yes and contain move them secure them. That's the opposite of meat. When I was little when I was in bed, and I knew there was gonna- be a robber that came at my for sure my plan or kidnapper. My plan was to try to make friends with them starts grows so that they would not, because I have no, I couldn't send for myself. Well, that's the quality that I use, friendship that your superpower do you think
saying that now, as it were, not women quite isolated it. I think it is to be more friendship than it is now they vary. I'll show you have great social scare. You can make friends with everybody. Could I dont use to any more right, but I use to you. Ve turned a page because you know what I was. I would always just personality match, oh pressing, my god my mean exercise or your mirror the personal interests, and do you feel like a fool at some time now until until it back just got exhausting all right, as was too much for then I stopped, and then I was just me by then He had all my friends are locked in so who cared there? Were they gonna? Do they have an awkward break up? I've never had knocked break up with a friend we ve done
about this before you never had one. I've never had one, that's fantastic, yeah yeah! I shall we be gear. Yeah. You said Lake Okeechobee, what a grape a name for a place Lake Okeechobee, Florida. I is a vast spreading lcd re in the country I was there was, and I could not find any evidence of that. Can I really could I looked hard, but maybe not hard enough. You can look later if you want, because, if I may be was an MP article archiving my mother up and weirdly heard as well, because she and I have talked about it- we heard the same thing I tried and I could not. I turn our well catalogue, those Radio episodes are imprint. You know early some yeah when I searched std sexually transmitted diseases, venereal disease make Okeechobee. You know Another area here below a virus
Libya a druggie herpes, complex ones like steel, but ok. As of August, two thousand seventeen, the city with the highest std infection rate. the Saint Louis Missouri, that's a per capita thing. I I have to assume you know. Yet all members really Saint as an seconds I move there that sounds like a fun place to live now, doesn't ideally line ass. He took his. It means more sacks. Doesn't it. Or does it means more have two more I'd say: yeah, exile, Vanclein. Ok, second, is what do you think it is Chicago now, but to try now Philadelphia same that's what I said no of Philadelphia Pittsburgh Detroit Cleveland. These are all
A similar city said this is why our argument about purity pay, you think it's all the same, if you're from one place your pure to all those places in it's not true. No, I think that a lot of cities that were built on the industrial revolution that had a precipitous drop in employment. I think those cities seem to have some similar character And then the third is Montgomery, Alabama, good! You I've got one. You got one in the south low the Mason Dixon yeah was nervous for either for a minute. I was pretty sure that we were gonna, make it in the top Marie bitter. I didn't have any fear about that, but on its sued by Lake Ogre Jovi, I got it stand. She this claim that they had to fasten spreading std rate. At one point, the Instagram account of Jackson, type pats is called for I'll, jocks Diane saw with savings that others will cause. I cited as a man, football Jock, Straps football, jocks drought
that seems economic regulation, love check out penises in bonds and Amazon, guys here often sent me some Yes, he knew. I basically you're. My circle of people are gonna, go between Cameron, just an eye to gambling. game again and again he gets the Ivy league. He's the one who introduce me to her great yeah. And then enjoy until the listeners about you. Olympic Peck at the boy, one of our great bonding made. Experiences and really, when night came to appreciate your genius surrender the three so we were on a text chain during the Olympics at all really started with me, I mean roommates for a few years in we'll it started by watching football something's guys. We start realising there now wearing cups, I'm seeing the penises flop around during blades heinous yeah, I'm seeing the meet us in the shaft and all the different parts of the penis there very visible in there.
and we sat down for the summer Olympics in a sprinters I'd they dont peered be wearing any under work is sometimes a penis goes all the way from the left side, leg of the spanned exit bounces up in the air and then lands in the right leg of a spanish expel running so fast. There are anything between their legs doesn't have a shot and how they're just along for the ride, and sometimes the penis dessert, some of them are pretty prominent in the big penises. No, really flopping around, but at any rate every year come not every year every for years come summer Olympics there a tremendous amount of thumb file sharing between you nay myself and then a few other people we ve enlisted Ryan enjoys it it's great as we're all gonna aggregating now and you can catch all the penises in all these shots, but it got a lotta eyes on the on their. You get a good my. So I have
really interesting. I got myself and a little bit of a curious situation with my computer broke during chips and remember Amy, my assistant. She was gonna tasked with getting my computer or backed up it onto a new computer, blah blah blah at any rate, what is the first thing that came up It was my of just of all p. The shots from the Olympics that you it's and naked sent, and do you know I had, then I felt like it defiling you an explanation. Why have always penis pitchers on my thing all eyes, we always look for these, on the and I didn't make the matter, we are getting worse and worse and they got worse and worse and worse, and then I literally went home at night and I was like I can hear this common. station being read back to me in a court transcript Minsk Sound so different and I had the texture angle.
I just want to say. I'm very sorry! If that made you uncomfortable my apologies, blah blah blah. She said. If anything, I certainly working for you more knowing met your collecting all spoke, so I turned out ok, but I did have a moment of panic. Yeah my ride home like this is dicey. Working for a big corporation, showing my as is now much subpoenas pitchers well she's be cleared the EU now there in clothes, but you can just see them very prominently so proud, minutely that I feel like they might as well, not be where or that you'd even no less about their penis. If you saw the bare pm, that's true, I somehow line is somehow even more Distinguished hinges. There's an incredible ass! You remember any of them specifically as one is it there's a metal ceremony were the guy. I think I remember the first or second place on the podium has a full erection. He has
straight up and down erection in his single. It is so wild I'm such a mix of emotions. When I see it because I think that I was so happy happy that he became a rat you didn't bring itself conscious. I've only add this a couple times. I have had erections that were not sexually related, but they were excitement related. Really. Yes, when my I wanted a spree mopeds so bow, and I was twelve years old and I no notion getting one. My mom was fucking whirled around my dad just didn't by how much are they at the time? I think there were eight hundred dollars loudly and nineteen a b, seven, there's no way. I was getting one yeah and I was at my dad's for the weekend and he said you want to go up to Anderson Honda and look at those things, and I was like I was so excited gif. look at him and NGO. Go as if you clean the garage I'll, take you there. We can look at him.
I ran out to the garage to clean it in there was a fire free in the garage ass. I was I mean today. de I remember me more excited and I got on it and I just started driving around the neighbourhood and I had a through robbing boner my operated the Malta forty five minutes I was like in Gore. could you even right? It was uncomfortable, but working through x. I had two keys, I answer, but you I just said this raging boner about writing them help head, that's something I cannot but I've. Never that story, What a sweet story yeah that lies item, so bad about my dad- and here I always. I always feel bad afterwards, because there were a million beautiful things about my dad in really problem.
Anything you like about me comes from him. I mean I'm a carbon copy of him. So try to you, don't I don't think so. yeah. I can I go home and always feel bad that I talk about about him on here and I think all the people who know me that, no whom you must think I'm an asshole it just so happens that were generally talking on here about things we ve overcome are dealt with, and so that is always the light in which I'm talking about him. But you are so many other things, one of them being. He did that. Transferring the am it's ok for you to talk about that things at her. You two yards, ok, not giving the fairest pitcher of him The results are many said. I don't know me. I need to be super concerned about that, for a number of key was black with purple ever said spree in purple. Ok, I'm a little nervous because you know Jim balloon. She comes up and during the movie game, which is a game out, we should play in that.
I'm span and I couldn't say movie, he was then and that embarrassing, but I still can't like it's not like. I was on the spot and I couldn't think of one. I do not know nor ASEAN animal House, I have not been, His brothers have my well in your to fancy had ashore, The window I mean you guys actually rose, use gaining momentum. It was before I was a little bit before my time and I have a big hole in my movie arson on he's. In the only failure rose early Spielberg's career, they did a movie called nineteen, forty two or nineteen forty five, and that was the only Spielberg movie that in work. Oh wait now, but it was generally. She not compilation, oh, but we were too
about Jim Galicia, which is his brother. Some why? I still don't now? Oh no jumble, as you know, Jim Belushi was in like he, I guess is: oh god. I just wasted Oliver time on John Galicia. Jim Baluchi is jumble issues, brother eyed, and he was a very a bit player, but then he added a sick come that ran forever. That was huge called according to Jim right. I vaguely cigars on it and ass and they are both on us and our right now I will just giant Jim was not now go well anyway. I don't know I would never be able to name a gym, Belushi movie you didn't want more he's a cop to I can remember harder yeah. I guess appointed the game you're trying to secure. You are kind of trying to trick people yeah yeah, yeah, good track, really great trick array is their genetic relationships.
Buddhism and laughed and a lack of addiction. Oh so this is just one study has shown that a genetic mutations carried by at least a fifth of jewish people appear to protect it. Against alcoholism. The same inherited trade is fairly common in asian people, but as much rare and white Europeans. The findings could help explain. Why is Israel has one of the lowest levels of alcoholism in the developed world most centres or what is always tricky when you talk about jewish rebels? Is is rallies and then there's did the Ouse Barroso Russian Jews. I'm sure russian Jews have the same mould. Fraid of alcoholism as any other Russians genetically russian p. who can use probably our yeah so many of the jewish folks in ALARM York, our russian jewish folks, so they're not now- and this is a
debate, even within anthropology. So there is a jewish ethnicity rise in a lot of, criteria is met by the definition of ethnicity. Yet there is a big biology: called diversity among them. See can't really call them a race because raises a wholly incomplete categorization of people. Doesn't to me, race is ethnicity, he adds not. It would just in insight pick terms. Factors, ethnicity, is, is common ancestry. Shared language should brought usually shared religion. There's there's several criteria for ethnicity, races, black white, you now, and that doesn't count for anything. that happens with in the continent of Africa. There's so much biodiversity, a genetic diversity with in four can populations, there are african popular,
since that have more in common with irish people genetically than they do with other populations within Africa. So just the cattle Ray of races is really. It really amounts to just Jim Color, which is a couple of illegals retired. This was England Ass to well anyway, jewish jewish ethnicity. This is probably speaking more to jewish ethnicity than jewish religion, yeah cause even let ledges here's another example of death at Missus, so even like with in the russian population. They wouldn't call Russians and ethnicity, but they call slavic saw an ethnic city because it has a shared ancestry and the shared tongue. Even though these ukrainian russian or different, or these different languages there all slavic right, then you have chaotic, isn't it
city, and then you have Anglo isn't at the city, so a lot of its determined by language and shared at nursery. That's. Why refuse to call you asian? Because we would not answer block. We do not call Indians asian right, but it is a geographical distinction but like on on tests and stuff, unlike standardize tests, when you have to fill in your at NASA D on any of those things you have to have, you could do it every walk, but Indians like put asian right. That's the closest that's what it need that you are your technically and in Asia yeah. Sometimes they have them a more specific specified you locked out when you can
yeah. I dont, like I dont like feeling like I'll know. Anyway. Ok, you said there is a huge population of cow, Dean's, Enmesh again, Metro Detroit has a world's largest population outside of Iraq, with an estimated a hundred and twenty one thousand people another a hundred and fifty thousand called the UN's reside throughout the United States, particularly in other San, Diego in Phoenix areas. You assume Diego! Is this the other big pocket? I was aware of my shirt. Ireland. Phoenix ok, fosters island prince about this was new information to me that its very cool, it's called fosters rule or island rule or island. A fact yeah. I learned it fosters island principle. Gonna combines all those things as combined.
others thanks rule and evolutionary biology, stating that members of a species get smaller or bigger, depending on the resources available and the environment, so from male Was there? Are limited? Resources suits advantageous to be smaller, need, less calories for birds, it's all about having predators. So what keeps bird small is that they can remain fasten of aid probation but on an island, no predators they no longer need to fly in the bigger they get. The more sexual access they'll have the females sexy access, as I call it, for example, its none at the pygmy mammoths avowed from normal man. That's on small. Islands. Similar evolution, lawgiver pig me MA am I like when they talk about Jurassic Park in bringing back a t rex fuck that I want a little like Saint Bernard size, Pygmy mammoth in my house with many big tasks.
I would love. It unites Le Miniature stop manager. I just have two member. When once him we talked about having a tiny, a miniature brown bear All that would be great to their me yeah, but by their small. That's what you think ideal small size for Miss, I felt a size gas, which is our than rack around reckons eyes Agus losing raccoon. We would warn those in the house. He doesn't look cute who was sorry rank, hands bedside eyes. I know in there It only remains for his stamp. I'll of Iraq, and I didn't mean to measure what some person who had listened in their kitchen all the time to arm chair expert. They had their window open. They noticed one day that there was always a raccoon sit down there on the on the gutter. Just trying to he gets all urine heroes happening when they re loved to have that right
one of the live shows good shape its hand and everything, but are put it put her him in a little shirt armchair Sharia link. But if we had a little air. There be, as we really are in a little holding Arma drinking
out of our mother. Oh yeah, like birth, the bare yeah Fiona Hugh any, would stand up all the time. Yeah. Ok, so it Teddy bear me, and let me like you in their me: ok yeah, so he propose the simple explanation that smaller creatures get larger when predation pressure is relaxed because of the absence of some of the pressures on the man was out what you just said, and larger creatures becomes more when food resources are limited because of the land area, constraints, good job, you payments, so that exact thing are you ok, whom I learned at twenty years ago? Congratulations, your member voice, the bird and Madagascar. Ok, I don't think there's a bird in Madagascar from what I could tell there are some pain.
Ends. Maybe he was thinking of Rio perhaps year. Unless I mean maybe I'm wrong and people will first set. Will the barometers like ten Madagascar is either yeah? I'm just gonna Madagascar, one increase rock, is the zebra. Oh yeah yeah Obregon Ross Income up raw syn, sir, and I wanted to bring up. Then he created Ryan Show Reinhard since Hawks crimes on television. Does I hung out with Ryan last weekend, the party, agenda of the all party actually on shortly Anderson, gradually and close friend shining Leander, although step further Ya'Ll among episode, the sheer that Ross and That's right, you're in the season and my favorite thing writing door, bikes, yeah and something else you like to do that,
not spoil our yeah you're right, you're right and our friend justice. Also in the Seas and Emily Andrews has a big congratulations. We shall try to answer some scams on television yeah. The blockade run our hotel, that's the hotel there. I stayed when he was shooting or in the south yeah, and I tried calling them to ask why it was called fly here, but they didn't answer brilliant and we're gonna die. Now now, I'm sorry but yeah there was a very good service blockade, runner beat resort and rights will beach North Carolina a blockade
runner is usually a lighter wait. Ship used for evading enable blockade of a port or straight, as opposed to confronting the black haters, to break the blockade. So it's let's skinny, it's very skinny a narrow and the hotel is pretty skinny a narrow. All that's great! So, that's probably why that's wonderful yesterday, They should still be doing their job. Snow, excuse, transfer your calls to higher ground Rob just pointed out that they play or an answering cause of that there in the middle of a hurricane yeah, maybe we're we now obliged run our privileged caliph, and we can only talk about right now as of Friday, where three days way from this coming out Ellison they could be good.
may the most devastating I ever and we would be so like cavalier about it, so it maybe we should make use of the record to versions of this one's. Like my gown, I tried to call the blockade. Thank God. Didn answer, because I didn't know you were, there must have been won happen. I'm so glad they didn't answer. Does one version, that's where shit when sideways right now this one is like it never even made landfall as I we will. These figures will a call the hotel room and there were they ran while we go just so, they were so scared of the hurricane. Nothing anymore, landfall use it as an excuse by young. So there you are both versions, yeah and both her really sincere. Ok, we you talk about devil in the light city and that we talk about that during Joanna Calles, fact check. I am sorry to say this for real. We talked about it.
Jack. Sorry guys! Is there a flight from Burma to allay acts? No others, but I wish you would have found out if, if anyone's had a pop in for I've needs a view heard a call, road at all. Not the blockade hotel now bear a lazy or being really smart down to the river heroes. Are cowards? That's that's it I want more, but but what we like. I can't we grab him back in this hot sacking here. He was a fine. You know. I knew I liked her. As I love them. Indeed, project and the side Now I am dismayed yeah yeah had seen less of a man you have here and now you know you want. see him every day, so you run the forty and tight spandex you wanna pixie
Goin on yeah abounds. We're I'd, see a picture. You were right, yeah was like about use at your generally interested in seeing male genitalia, which is rare. I don't know that it's the norm, that's the normative thing so, when does enjoy? I it's great, because I just I love those photos. Recitals adjusting, I such a silly, looking thing so funny, socially its bounty. to and fro where a record setting sprint to a hundred meters. I dont want embarrass him, but you same bolt. Some buncher junk down their lack of stimulating a watch because Ays so much faster than everyone. It's the only. when the Olympics words like a fuckin run away, like he's so good, its bloggers, yeah other than he shot? What's the only other person words like the gap between first and second,
in his so here in this last olympics. I fight the gap will mean he's still Wish on yeah. Wasn't his big boy? Remember we we get choke died at. It was exciting, still love the Olympics. I wish it was again I wish we could move some. Are there the Olympics where every year, but that doesn't exist as its global thing, where we can make our own Olympics gets worry a year out, so we didn't have at this summer majesty we haven't next summer. Now it's every four years. I know, but we had winter olympics. So last year do yeah. Last I saw it has now become every two year right, so two thousand twenty twenty is here now that's move out of this city. Before that happens, I mix will now then I write a broad bike, maybe I'll still I get around yeah what events in Indonesia to Walden
this one's you now have sprinting hurdling needs, got a whole theory about your thighs like your you're, pushing so much blood, three or thighs. You're sending so much blood the region that addressing it just can't helping gorge One click story yeah I went with my friend joy or to this body building contest. It was amateur, so it was their guys up there that, were you know seventy pounds over way that were still good biceps, so they were doing. It was great. I loved it and one of the guys had a raging erection through all of his poses a kind of made sense. If you just squeezing blood into every single muscle in in he was falling gorge and just posing. I thought how liberating for him to stand up there and just go fuck joy. Quit now I discuss, this hard as Iraq and I'm gonna keep posing. You have to cross a threat.
Gold, you know, I'm saying you go, go like while two options walk off this stage embarrassed or just keep relaxing in on this erection, do you really think therein they anyone's embarrass? I would be humiliated beyond stage with a full blown or action. I would feel so weird and out at victory. I thought maybe you but no mid mid mid, posing. like through his return, he became engorge dear the routine, and so he was either going to have to leave the stage, not finishes routine or just go. You know what I got on this boner flexing. He chose the ladder and I was applauded it yeah so happy? They gave all of us such a charge because we are all aware of it. You are you trying to be polite like you, are not aware of it, but we are aware of it. There's like we're really sharing experience good for our hands and eyes. Some community experience yeah. It was great
I adore you- I love you.