Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs, Arrested Development) is an American comedian, actor, producer, director, and writer. Jeff sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss the pursuit of being humble, utilizing respect as a parenting philosophy and his unconventional process in creating stand up. Jeff talks about the torment of unrequited love and Dax asks about his partnership with Larry David. The two discuss the trap of negativity and Jeff dissects the way he uses food to regulate emotions.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome. Welcome welcomed, armchair expert, amendment no one. I remember a bad man and joined by a mean I'm and ate them Shepherd nominated in citizens Incentive today we have just garlon yes, we'd, love, em is an actor. A writer a director of produce the community and Armenia and he's on curb your enthusiasm. The goal bergs using Wali dad dig here. He is a very. Of a bull gentlemen, I came to know my think I wanna do the Conan O Brien show we were out there together. We just a blast together and that's kind of where our friendship was forged. Also, before we get to Jeff Garland Cleveland come party with on June. Twenty third tickets on our website for alive show also Detroit. Don't let me down to ownership, packed house at the fox do you know any more amazing mom coming showing outfit
we're homecoming, so link with the robe and the king frown european level be offered in the sea enter as a monarch. I think of colonists, monarch people black eyes, guy really securely Hi, I'm on supply here is clearly goes on. Daily skies are real, Dick or find out about the trade June. Twenty first to go to the website Debbie to be Debbie, armchair expert, pod, dot com. You wish, the now I don't believe in dot org anymore. The myth has been busted disillusioned, very sad about it. Please enjoy Jeff Garlon. We are supported by twenty three and me love twenty three me. I think it's the number one conversations order in our circle: six hours of our day attacking fathers days right around the corner. I understand you know it is a great fathers. They gift idea is twenty three in me and not just for dear old dad, but you get your
Golf one two and you guys can compare and connect over the shared genetic similarities and differences, and maybe you can find out your dad is actually not your dad. That would be the greatest gift you could give unfollow. Yeah to liberate dad from all responsibility give dad a gift is unique. Is he has discover how genes can influence well being and life choices with insights into genetic way, muscle composition, sleep all the more this fathers day get fifty dollars off twenty three amene health and ancestry kit at twenty three in me, dot com, Slash Dax, that's the number twenty three and me spelled out and dot com slashed Dax again. That story,
three me doc comes lashed acts offer in June. Seventeen he's Darlin you got to watch me just some sprint back and forth in the attic. Did you think I look athletic. Considering I have of do urging Buddha, you do move with the greatest of ease my opinion. That's I want my you're actually a specimen of a man, very handsome powwow. I, like your hair, your arms at your toned, thank you a guy even with the foot problem who just is doing, God bless the air. We know you ve always been really nice to me that you're not really lane that the choir right now in the past, when you had no incentive, you were always kind to me.
It means this absurd. Now I have dog uses first heard about you from Bob Dunkirk. Oh that makes sense as he is a man. I have followed you and think you're, just a big ball wonderful. Thank you. I love you. I remember very very vividly our first interactions in maybe I'm wrong, but to my record we will think Conan together, one time, back in New York Right- and I was talking about that. I have kind of a monopoly on playing uses and movies like if you need a douchebag. You pick up the phone, an answer I'll, be there and then, after the show, you said I want you to know you. U dont, give off any. Do she could I'll do what's are I don't know what I'm going to have people who want to think that I say it yeah and I found it to be really nice and terminate. You were telling, as I recall some story involving you getting a massage in a hotel. You recall this I have some assessors does I have been the one at the age for Yo Luxury Lounge
where the table broke. Yes, it's exactly yeah falling make. It is always unsettling pop, my movers, the sums dangerous like very dangerous and on the down, I parted with buying reacts about a thousand. I can assure him when she came back and covered my wiener. I said I'm very sorry. If there's any smell you not oh my go so lucky for you. She was out of the room when it happened. Yes, during the period of I'm gonna go wash my hands out shows want to wash their hands. Are there so clean before you, wherever you more concerned with after who you ever you massage wash your hands? Anyhow, I put my arm on the table and I've gotten many a massage as I lifted my leg up.
Went to lay on the table a collapse. All my good ol boy, it was very unsettled, but it makes a ton of sense that you to it, because your entire body now braces for him by younger squeezing all the muscles you can. I did cover my wiener because I felt like Dhabi also very rude. She comes I can already has a smell so grave fuck ever table. She needs a sitting. My wiener myth that the cherry on the cake is being, as that was very kind of you, that full and you don't give up any do she knows does your skills and after that you can play a douche. You know I can really play I've been given the opportunity slightly. I'm a gull birds, because I'm a curmudgeon, but I can play a really jerky ass. As a matter of fact, stellar when he was doing curb one time, and I are just shaved, my head for curb, he said meant you should be cast as a villain the second,
your mouth, the gods, ears yeah. I would love to be a horrible villain. Do you ever like you'll, do a movie or show, as somebody in your kind of watching what they're doing in your seen, how much fun it is, and then you start thinking my car. I gotta do that you know I watched I took a lot from was I did Matt about you and Carol. Barnett was I watched the way she has herself and how she approached things and how she treated people who approached her, which was always delightful. So I watched her very close, And are you gracious if somewhere to bump, I hope you're? So you hope so I mean I. I think I am one of those things like who am I to say: I'm a good guy, but other people decide you now d, as many jerks think they're good guys well, but that is how I dont want to be the one going, a great guy, I'm so gracious well, but than theirs so the reality of life, which is there were many trips I took back to Detroit to deal with my father- died
of cancer and I'm in an airport and I'm not feeling very similar, and let you now, let's discuss that and at some point or no man, I feel like shit and that's what you're gonna get. I'm sorry, that's good that you can do that. I experienced the other night where my heart was broken. I was very confused very sad, and for some reason I discuss this in therapy the other day, but at least a dozen people came to me, and I am not exaggerating everyone. One of them told me how much I mean to them, how I helped them with their lives and their pay. There were none like you're, so funny, like general stuff right was all deep and what was to me was the universe, sending me a message. You feel horrible. You feel you ve done something, you're, a good guy and you're doing nice things for people with strange didn't notice it in the moment it wasn't until a day or two later reflecting, but can I add another theory to,
which is, you might have been a little unaware of how you are carrying yourself right in other people, may have observed that You were looking a little sad and you run the risk I run. The risk is the good times. Early. We not really let people see too often grower or smart, none somethin in that when you do a value herself to others, they will show up for you, but it's also hard to receive, isn't very, are to receive in that moment, because I wanted to look my god, you have any idea what I'm going through the pain I mean, but thank you here. I just Thank you to all of them and by the way could be something in my body, language that did say: hey, I'm approachable. Yeah. I wasn't need a life raft year over here. How you just have to assume it was romantically relief, It was. It was yes, yes, yes, I'm going through a divorce rate now and I had and unrequited love situation, but that's now over yeah, but I feel great. Can I ask you something: yeah you marry for quite a while
on twenty and twenty five year, twenty five year, wonderful woman, I still love madly in who gave you two beautiful boy yeah now beautiful boy, so I love a low, most gentile names have ever heard by James, and do that's John worrying Aaron Duke is dukes. First real name is air, we wanted a column duke, but that's too strong of a name to give a baby. So we waited until he showed that he's very Duke like how about them. He really made a mess of his diaper. You probably call them Duke Molly. I call on the European about never use that for duty do before duty will, but just even if you all that he took a man, size, dumping everytime, your wife sure you re like do really room the diaper. Yes, let me know what you fathom: where did those names come from? aims comes from, my great grandfather is. He needed a Jay yeah Aaron comes from a my other great grandfather.
Jews, we name after someone who's dead, so my brother converted to Judaism and is probably the biggest Julia. For a period of one single out, convert their the biggest Jews and especially women when they get married, they convert yeah the there's. No, Hence even competing bears big a Jew. Is you ve ever met into a totally agree in this case was neither my brother or his wife were jewish? It was, I do believe, motivate a lot that their children were being raised. In ever heard of all jewish people. They were going to J C C for Pre school and there's always at this affinity for Judaism and then they just decided. What are we doing? What's convert they converted. So there was a period in Washington. The kids were young they're, trying to teach them all the traditions. Will I get to be a part of some of those? I love the baby, naming sir
there's, I'm an atheist but of the different religions. I've been around where I got about that with you, because I have strong feelings about atheists, all good, let's, let's hash it out here, but let me just say that I've participated indifferent rituals from different religions and the ones that I seemed to at least intellectually appreciate the most tend to be the Jew, ones like the baby naming ceremony is the coolest tradition, because all it is a great. You used to sit down and remember somebody yet which, when are you gonna schedule that, but every time a baby arrives, you get this opportunity razor remember the past. Yes, it's cool. I really really like it. I don't you need to know that it stems from your way twins I like it doesn't matter to me that I disagree with the origin, marry your thoughts on atheists. I think atheists M is completely wrong. Ok, gray, I can understand someone being an agnostic I also don't agree with Baptists, with Christians with Jews, with Catholics too, where it's completely specific button
what works works for me works for me. Is there something bigger than me? Well and I dont know what it is and I accept it and you can even referred to it as the union. Sharp a universe equals God. In my book but to say that there is no God or nothing. But you're also presume some kind of as you don't about I'm cool with you from being an atheist, but I really do believe in their something bigger than me, but I do not know what it is and I am not going to label it's a little arrogant to assume. You know what it is right, larger one night, I'm proposing equally arrogant for me to go there. Isn't really so I can learn, there's only a certain got, a jewish god. Oh no! No! No! No! No man! I feel humble as a human being that I dont know fucking anything shower. I was on stage one night dude in the front row is wearing
what I thought was a star trek pendant. It looked just like the for the embryo, they called the money. I want him, Many of us are there for whatever they would contact them and give them a news and information. Ok of here's, where you're going every people are less they are there now is theirs driving their cars into tree avi attract. So I said to you in a star trek, because now I go away you weren't star, Trek printed, because that's because I'm an atheist, I go you're wearing. Something didn't tell me that you don't pull Even anything right. Go you don't think. That's where it goes yeah when I walked down the street. I want people to know that I'm an atheist, and I thought interesting. This is just insane. I thought that was super arrogance and somebody with an eagle problem. Ok, your rights are now, let's back the fuck up, so I'm in program that requires, I believe, in a higher power o j right. Yes, so version
you're, absolutely correct. I could never prove there's no god, nor what I waste any of our time do Russia, I personally just don't think there is, but that's fine, but I have to believe in a power greater than they all this is happening. The tides are going in and out there's some similar We were all working and I'm not at the crux of any as you know the universe it certainly In writing. It also quite the universe with God. Yeah God is a strange all powerful word, but I think that its we're all connected. I bump like kind of sentient nature, of it's some kind of anthropogenic expression, but the thing, though I find organise religion completely, arrogant, almost anti human eaten share a lotta levels, levels, a lot of wars and things are started because of that, and that's because of their definition of God. I think we all agree that there's something bigger than us wherein in a delightful state, I am happy to concede that, while theres many forces bigger than me where's organs
tricky not only do I have to believe in a power greater than myself right, but I also have to turn my will over to that an egg is really dicey, since I don't actually believe there's something I can turn my will over two great but again here's how I get around that as I go. There's this incredible symmetry to everything right. It's all working so well, and I know when I do things that are Brussels up against that symmetry. I just know I feel it. I know what I'm trying to bin the universe. To my will, or are you to my will reckon tell from there very honest with myself right. There's a big difference between just doing the hard work and then the results are what they are and trying to control the results. For me, I just do the hard work and then fuck- and I don't know what happens right- that's how I turn my will or to the universe. Is I'm not? One is never being humble and said there's something bigger than you. Yeah yeah
again also the collaborative I dont think you re. The collective is much bigger than the mystic. If I sit in a meeting, my god there's some weird thing here that I know is science can't yet measure, but I can feel it, but I don't know that is necessarily scientific and or spiritual. I dont know what it is you I'm just this schmuck, who does comedy she's, trying to help ease people's pain, it's so being humble and competent in your skills, there's no more delightful combination, the and then take little, but you- and I are the least funny comedian that you know and you're having me on the show is a favorite to wipe and oh yeah, that's nice of you, but it's like I. If you think that everyone's we are the may enjoy by again, can I can I come out that from another angle, on better from every angle, up what I take from that is that Jeff Garland doesn't have a fear of not being funny. None you don't even like. Like me, I got fired last year from a sick com
had never been fire before. All I've been fired, men could help us up with fear yet so when I left in a good friend of mine was on that sitcom economies like panicked about what I was going through, I said you know if I get in fire because they said I I'm dumb I'd be in an uproar right now I have a fear of people thinking I'm down, but you know what there's a few things I know about myself, I'm funny so our I saw the way our line up inside their petition you're funny in so. If I get fired, I can recognise some other thing was going on that, wasn't whether not I'm funny bright in something else or the people that fired you do not have a sense of you or my sense of humour whatever. Yes, I that's nice of you even add thee. My sense of humour not well, but we both know other other comedians. Our peers are not always the most gracious. Now. They know that gracious as we think we're competing with one another, all that's what they think that lie as I've got an older
the comedian longer. I spend a lot less time with comedians than I used to yeah, I'm gonna give you an example as to why your marriage works. Please you ok, her success brings you just as much joy, if not more than your own, and she has the same thing, and that I would say, is the crux: everything relies on that for those types of relationships. I would love to be with a female comedian, I would love that. I don't know anyone. That's gonna be happy. I'd be happy for them. The my yeah. Well, I must tell you. It was a long road to here, though, not be the first to admit that my mail. You go was very troubled that my wife made more. Me and by the way, is so fucking stupid. But it doesn't matter that as do, but you could have lost that wonderful person, always honour percent right. But now you know that it's about the joy of her success. We know it held you make these two
little humans and now so that about all about these two, so they can actually look at her success and how lucky my that I have a partner that can help me get these kids index college in its history and its line? Yes, that's a beautiful thing that children provide. That makes you selfless whether you want you're. Not how old are you boys know their eighteen and twenty two and I am incredibly closed with them. It it's terribly difficult because there so close to being men die it's hard to watch them be mentally challenged, but that's what they do. Until there in their mid too late twenties. Here I have the strap myself in because my expectations when their eight are minimal yeah. My expectations when there are twenty are much greater. Yes, but I d put on them my agenda. What are your expectations that just that there
humble and they are moving in a direction that well help them lead a fulfilled life right yeah and that they work hard and they care about putting in a good days work you had a very low dream. Then you accomplish that dream and I'm assuming you the revelation of like a wow, I really thought for certain. If I was to leave a tv show, I would feel perfect all day long ago. That's yes, that's the rapidity of youth where you think success is going make you fulfil right, so you and I are in a unique parenting situation where My mom rightly so, was like hey get a pliable trade, so you can fuck and eat them. We did that and we said to ourselves a wild. The work started after that the wording were the real work on fulfilment starts after the illusion right, it's been shattered,
and so you almost want for your kids, like you know what you're chase, whatever you want, but fuck that also beyond the spiritual path like I want you to feel good. My older boy, I hadn't thought transcendental meditation, oh great, I'm going to do that with my younger son. The thing is, I have fought long and within my own mind in terms of wanting to protect my children wine and give my children everything and all I can do, I realise the big lesson was- I can't make them have a great work ethic. I can't these are all things. The only thing I can do is they know their dad, loves them and respects them yeah. I can do because I found this back to be the key thing in terms of my relationship with my children. It started around fourteen or fifteen is opposed post, yelling and punish. When they know you respect them and they ve done something to disrespect you or disrespect that relationship they feel it.
Corner resent that's my mom raise me when I was in trouble. It wasn't like you're in trouble like hey man, I fucking believe New, I trust you I m power, you are you be so much slack in Europe The deal is that you don't throw pie. My friend is a body that is at remind your point now. Looking back on phasing in eighteen twenty two year old there. That's all you can do it, nothing more than that, I'm a man. It was what more you can do then show them. Love unrest, back to the hope that they see that and it comes back to you the great measures it has come back to me, but still I dont know what I can do more than that. Man you gotta go work all day: hey man, you got it just islamic noise, Ba Agri. Another thing that I've done that has been pretty successful and helped. Is I asked them what they think about situation, let me or your thoughts
before I say a word you, I love that that has been very beneficial well now, in my experience, the fathers son relationship is wrong, with complexity, at least in my experience it was my my dad. I had a very challenging relationship where many times probably all coming for me. I don't know, I mean punishing him for divorce mom or something. What was your model like? Did you have a great relationship with Europe at your dead, so plumbing supplies later family plumbing supply business, and then he was a legal administrator fur law firms is right. My dad was a very blue collar, a white collar blue collar guy, like would be white hair hollow and this is in Chicago, isn't Chicago immense. Our lord in the sixties, Sixtys and Seventys rang okay, so that dude Joe didn't understand that I wanted to be a comedian, many shop college down my throughout right please, I'm scared for your. I scared yes and we
I've done that heavy yeah you're, a big duties was your data God, not as big as me: ok you're, my brother's, not as big as me. Ok I'm, but I I didn't use again. I will kick your ass. I know, but as I want my but my father very much wanted me become a lawyer becomes a professional of some sort. That's also the jewish thing, but also, as my saying this, the dude was a loving dude. He was a great guy here, and so it was the only that, we fought on raw only thing over and then about three for years in he said to me you know, you're, a good, then comedian, I've ever seen and I'm so happy. You went down this path while which was so touchy Gallagher you and then aben mid twenty
all that is alive and well then you answered one of my questions, which was you move to sell, floored and six grade, which I think could be very challenging. It was very challenge because I was the first jus that a lot of kids down there. I mean some people look at South Florida, the south, but its very much the south, and I got into a lot of fights of my humor help me get out of I didn't like fighting, and I want to fight right here what part of South Florida plantation border, which is just outside of four letters at sound, so racist as I like, and the grocery several times I win Dixie, you sure are so yea. It was really Plantation Florida. I dont get more raises sounding now, you're friends with John Stewart. Yes, and he was on stern any talking about the rabbinical approach to things and I found it so appealing there is this unique community patients style than the rabbis you man, then it's another element, I'm attracted to in its kind of I can have my appeal
yet. I can be super respectful to hearing yours and give it the time it deserves, and all that- and there is no confidence in one's opinion that allows them to be open and listen to others. Is the whole thing man our country is so divided and all it needs. Is you feel that way? I feel this way. Let's talk about it, it's like it just the minimal thing of agree. The disagree yeah, it's not my life and I ask that you and I will never allow its, but that's our people approach it and disgusting. Yes, it's troublesome, but you so you are into sport, but then you discovered, I guess at a semi young age, that you had an electrical issue with your heart. I did with Parkinson White Syndrome which, by the way professional athletes get now and they just have taken care of, but when I had they told me the only choice you does that open heart surgery and really so I didn't do anything and then I end up being. This is really kind of amazing. I was number seventy two of this new procedure.
And there were doctors from Harvard, and you see I lay in the room. I remember when they were doing this post he dropped me. I was a seventy second, the equipment that they use them. He said not for human use that always reassuring in beholder you and you had that the procedure. I was twenty seven, so I was already comedian cause because a good friend of mine very similar thing where you live with this kind of black cloth there isn't there a few things that are scarier than your heart? Being the number of times that I thought I was dead, I can't begin. The count Rick is, I don't know I don't have a condition and I was certain I was having a heart attack like twelve times right now. I can only imagine Vatican, I remember being on stage its second city, saying to my cats mates. You got a cover for me and going off like this little hallway, which is alone, which
Nobody can really get to hear and laying their going while this is how you die. Didn't try to keep my cool so as not to freak out. Others will also you're thinking the worst thing that can happen right now. I get adrenalin used in the heart, sorts beating even faster. I aggravated that's all scary yeah, oh by the way that help make me a better person and a better comedian, how so because it makes your humble the more humble you are, the more vulnerable you are, the better artist you are and the better person you are yeah. I completely agree with lately and that's why friends, who have children who are facing adversity of health? I say it's going to make a better person yeah. They will rise above this. Let the other huge trick and parenting is like your inclination is to prevent them from any discomfort. Concern extension of you in there go out and have the power to do that, and you have to regularly remind yourself, like none other need those
Oh, I remember my son being in trouble at school and wrongly, but I had to say on hey man: there are going to be Dixon your life. There are gonna, be situations that you can so I go and invite your battle yeah. I agree with you but know that this is part of what the world offers and I apologise for having to pay have been well, but it's my job Sunday, you, my mother, could have done a great job, raising someone, because I one time wanted. I headed third grade teacher that I just she hated my guts and maybe rightly so. I hated her got eyes. You always say that You only knew otherwise. I had this, but maybe it was me. What can I say why approach things as wine beer lie because the only very in the equation between MRS House and act. Shepherd that I have control over is Dac Shepherd sitting. Only person life, I'm gonna change. If I want a different outcome, if its debt Shepherd Paul The final point is this house, and I dont like a frog in
Change misses out my going to China not not going there, but that doesn't mean that she's, not one hundred percent Gmos. That means you're going to a humble enlightened level. So I did not, like MRS House too, like where either more while I was begging my mother, like can you get me out of this class? There is another third grade teacher in the school, and so she said, listen, honey, you're, gonna have a lot of, As this house's you're gonna miss thousands of balls, you gonna Miss houses, a fucking unit, you name o my god they're all over yet in if this, the only one you'll ever encounter sure I'll get you out of it. But I think it's a great time to practice on how to deal with a MRS, how somewhat genius monument a couple things happened and it got to the point where Mom finally said you know what I'm gonna let it go down there and I'm gonna get you out. And she went down and she came back and she said they will transfer you and it's that thing you were talking about. I was like how you just went and did all that for me, and I go
I'm gonna stick it out, because I knew you'd make her happy. I knew she. Allow me to learn to deal with someone I didn't like, and she had proved to me that she bore the matter for me and then I ultimately is like I'll stay in, and I ended up look at you. I read some so I know I don't feel like I'm out in your exposing you because you seem to be open about it, which are not only our everything. My life, you say they you're eating is addictive. Right, yes, very much. That is my addiction. No doubt about it is eating it. I can go two years without smoking pot. I can go two years without having a drink has no bearing on me. If you were to give me a plate of brownies right now, I would be on the fast track to kill, I myself faster than you know. You know if you're lucky, you know what it is they get. You see right now, unfortunately, for me I'm in a grey area which is not a safe. Is to be meaning. On occasion, I will have some sort of health bar thing situation. That's a little sweet be up and am like now about where I dont have forty of them and it doesn't leave.
Importing more but not those stupid protein cookies in whatever its gray and I'm aware of it- and there is action being taken that banks- I have not had an ice cream, a piece of cake, a real cookie, any of that for right. Now, a man like fourteen months That's fantastic before that I did it for quite a while to super sympathetic to people that have eating issues because its one of the only things where you have to eat, like I don't have to drink alcohol. Now, if I had to drink alcohol three times a day responsibly, I dont know how on earth. I could do that, but you have to eat. Times a day I have, then it is the thing, your powerless over Yassum Unique lines and I need the humbleness yeah. I can't do this. Stay to express their will,
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when did you start using food to control year when I was a little boy, a little by little garden or very yes, a really little like as young as I can remember, and I didn't really get fat like elegant pictures, I'm gonna go you weren't bad, but I felt that yeah yeah what about it, but I call that term when money is marked by a body. Does morphia? No doubt no doubt about it. I was not fat. Johnson at right in your dad. Always I got you were kind of adorable yeah. Well, we're so mean do ourselves early, ok, so I'm gonna jump something here and then I'll come back to our sugar. The thing I want to jump to cause you're saying mean to ourselves only thing that I know at fifty six years old. The only thing that I know is if everybody were kind of themselves, if you're kind yourself it's hard to be mean to other people and make bad decision and it's the hardest thing in the world.
I know this and do every day I get up. I look in the mirror and I smile it myself in the morning a year which makes me laugh. I look ridiculous. I try and set a tone of being kind to myself, but yet I'll say those things you fucking Idiot, you yeah it just because it so easy the negative wrote at what age you connect the dots that, oh I'm not just hungry. I don't just enjoy Swedes I'm trying to regulate myself. It wasn't until my Father day, which was about five years ago, ok and I stopped eating Sugar NED. I realise that I had nothing to grab onto to deal with the sadness that I felt yeah, losing my father and I started on X, opera and it helped me yeah, but then it made me clear to see while I'm having trouble functioning as a human being without the sugar yeah, and so that's why I went like to the lax approach and I felt better
long round that I'm on something else, but I know that when I'm, jogging should ensure, When is the right word not delicate, when I am shoving pop tarts wrong, because I don't have the time to tell who has time I'm not toasting, because I want to share the feelings down immediately when I, in doing that. It is not about the pop tarts how they were created. What they're doing for me nutritionally it's a hundred percent emotional and I'm not press Distract yourself from one everything: you're, not the I've, been sober this run since the day my mom passed away, which was last November, and I just it's really weird because I didn't know she was gonna die there. Day, I have just seen her in Chicago implying home, generally on the plane. It was a virgin was still flying. They are these swedish fish from Dean and De Luca. How can I would get through
packs of the atom in for a beggar, your most charming self, with the stewardess, while you're asking for right charge, you using all United scale, goodnight vaster fur twenty, but when I drank I'm, so is that at some point there can want to cut me off I, so I gotta be ahead of this country. So I would do that, and I also with hold up on treats at the airport to have in my little pocket power with a thing. I landed. Ok, this particular flight. I had now for swedish fish when she asked me about one any. I said no and I hadn't touch the stuff and I didn't pay attention to any of it because I was just deepen reflection, would have you always present so that night, at home having been to over years anonymous, knowing what it takes to be sober. I thought you know what I'm warning you go into a meeting because you don't want this to stop. Here. I would stop naturally, and then I went to the meeting and that up
the renewal of the meeting my mom died. Oh, I was it wasn't that decision, my mom's that I'm an honour by being sober a yacht jittered already started lot of adversity. During that day, Mama was the last thing and then that night I had to go to a show an hour Really my mom died the day. I decided to go sober all of this, but I thought to myself. Of initially. How am I going to do in our? What I'm feeling right you now and then my wife, who this is re before we separated she was very worried that I was gonna. Go on state to say something I regret right yeah and I said now I'll be fine. This sums ages a wonderful person here, but that also helped in me see that I've got a job. Do not only for myself in terms of being selborne being the best man I can be, but my job is to ease people's pain because there
people sitting that audience core dealing with things very similar, to what I was dealing with, and it was me a job but that our to take them wherever I could take them, I have become either. I've always been very honest and very vulnerable on stage, but I a whole new level and people are finding that very comforting and moving, and I see it in their reactions, and it's been very exciting needs that are you need? Only interaction is way more rewarding, isn't it they're making people out? I thought for me the height of the experience on planet earth, making someone laugh, as I started mean a guess. Tampa guess I mean open about all my struggles and then when people would connect to me on that level, I found that just infinitely more rewarding what I like to do combine that with the last year, and that is just its magical. For me now I a I'm a little curious because I know, an essay on us allay you end up having to define what sobriety is gonna be
right. So I think it s allay. You have like a bottom line, they call it in. So if you don't cross your bottom line for any you pay, a great so could mean a no call. Girls or could be monogamy whatever the thing So in all aid you define what sobriety is for you. Everyone has their own thing. Yet smile is I'd like to stay sugar, but some of those held. Bars have sugar in them rise on eight abolish cereal and their sugar and yeah. I try not to have sugar, we one of the first five ingredients, but mine is really when you get to the black and white about no sweets the arts? No desserts, no adding sugar. Obviously I never even did that, but no deserts and the only thing I can say I really miss is ICE cream ice cream. Me is so beyond the human condition it some magical, that I would equate it with an orgasm. Ok, wait. It was sex.
It's it's Johnny gives greater than the sum of its parts. When you're looking at it, you think there's no way the ice cream is magic. Like banal Manila Gulp labors, but vanilla was my favorite, which you didn't take much yeah. Ok, so now you drop out of college. You move back to Chicago, yes, Chicago's of fantastic place. To be you're gonna get into comedy. Yes, they not send. You did second city just stay out of its second city yo. You did stand up and say that we still have an austrian and also second city led me down the path of being an improvisational comedian. Yes, because for the most of my last ten years, I walk up on stage nothing in my hat which and then I will go on our it blows. My I mean I'm just too afraid to try that we can have fair inside you when you do it, that's for sure you have to let it go. You could do it, but you have to get to real places in Europe. I'll do whatever is going on in the room. You have to start a girl with and use.
Dark by interacting with people in the audience. The way I've been doing it is every time I go on stage. I play a different son, so my play like the first is one of two asunder abuse. Before more than any other, but I'm always doesn't ring of fire by Johnny Cash out sure, and I started talking about what the song means to me. What the song needs to me on that given night and then that just starts a conversation boom, I'm off right and he requires a lotta, but by the way I have comedic Lee, I'm fifty six years old opportunism funny. I have supreme competence in what I do. Yeah I go on stage. I'm Tom Brady, you're, fucking, compter The only urges ever say about myself, as I am mechanism funniest comedian, but I will I unequivocally amongst all of my peers. I am the most comfortable comedian onstage. By a number one on comfort which, by the way, is for me eighty percent of the experience of going to stand
It's just my mirror neurons. If I can detect with their nervous. I am now so nervous and I find it most excruciating days variants riddle to me. It either I would pay flight rather see a guy come up short on eighty foot, motorcycle job, I mean honestly. That would be easier for me to exonerates. Does your dear my love of supreme competence and ok so inch? dog, oh you end up being roommates with Conan O Brien Wendy. I think it's just for gossip sakes, what? How old were you guys? We were somewhere in our twenties. You guys seem like a terrible pair of TB rouse Bob. Only Kirk, as one of my best friends said to me one day goes: you got that extra room in your apartment. Negotiators can my friend Conan and I burst out. The deuce name is called the barbarian and then he moved in and we really liked each other. But I was
I was so happy with how funny he was that I would wake him up at all hours and I'd arrogant. Listening to my room, and he is like a sauna. Wake him up like three in the morning. I do that do their bit again, do that thing, yeah autumn, incredibly funny and so smart and wonderful, never picking them as a top jobs. Even though we did a big time- your and our living room well by his own admission, and he was on your talking about a very, very tightly wound purse. If I could just say, like you know, simplistically, you guys are almost polar opposite, very much so yeah yeah. So what a unique, whereby the way, those in our friendship he looked to me to sort of car why I believe you are right there on nuclear energy.
Yeah. We we have a wonderful French. What you have in spades is that use appear to be very comfortable on your own skin, which is a unique thing that people are really drawn to right. I am so comfortable, my own skin, until let me say this comedic situations, yes walking down the street. Yes when, I am in any sort of romantic thing. All your years, yes, the minute it becomes unrequited I become so whence it you're not happy in my skin and I do everything I can to make it worse rights and I've done that and I he's got over that you know when I was younger and someone didn't like me girl that, like me, I was at the attitude and my charm was gonna, get his leg of its not now it'll be six months from the right
So I would be twenty four thinking that you like a slow moving infection and eventually it'll, fill overcome the hose but see now I'm a fifty six year old man, I'm not used to being in any kind of relationship. And so for me to say a while, eventually get maybe my eighty, so you not, I mean a lot different man. You said twenty five years, you're married yes, twenty five years in the Tsar fantasies a whip up in my head of what it would be like with me on the dating scene? I also aware of what it would crash and burn. I forget all the part, illiteracy. Generally speaking, Ninety percent of relationships are going to fall into one category that are either you're going to like them too much or they're going to like you too much without bulb old fucking suck. I'm going to have to hurt this woman's feelings or she's, going to destroy mind pain of being rejected is so deep and scarring, whereas the other one when you say: I'm not daring to there is so hard doing it and you feel bad, but you know what you did you just now
The one is way worse on the front in the other ones way worse on the back without a doubt, because once you do at that conversation, you feel like an asshole for three days eventually do feel like the weight has been little. The way they look, there was honest and basically the way is put at risk and are so yeah. Well, I will tell you a couple things. People say to me number one association who plays my wife uncovered. Enthusiasm, burly these guidelines, wonderful she's again he does so you're out you never soldier out. Let me tell you: what's boring, sewing you're out so you're out to sew gratifying for a man. I am all about a relationship and I'm about the emotional aspect of men and women physically. Yet we need to do things, but I'd rather take a nap. Ok watch a movie. I can't even now not go for a walk and rather sex and go for a walk right, but but I'd rather go swimming. Rather take a nap. This sounds very attractive, or a lot of women. I would think what's a very low expectations of banging, allow that's a great selling point but yeah, but
I put, but I'm selling someone I'm not interested in. So I'm all about the emotional thing and what I just got over was more of the emotional thing right now. More was the emotional thank Brian. Imagine you're you so close with your ex wife, but that changes from day to day, but I find it to be a wonderful great person. I got To imagine. You'll always be there to her for raising your kid. I am to her period and whatever went wrong in our marriage. Obviously it's my fault night, I'm not right. I didn't moment in all other woman or rating we but I'm just saying this, woman is remarkable, but it is much better to be married, then not married. What is delightful for me is being alone. I love walking from one sided, ass to the other and no one's telling me to do something. No one disappointed me yeah, it's pretty delightful. On the flip side being single, I couldn't eight more, you hate it hate it It was like the dream scenario is to be married for eleven months of the year
like it. I knew it vitally, that's a great. My new thing in terms of my Stanhope is to get married and by the house, still me for my wife, yet which people do I've heard of people who have that scenario when Tom Arnold in Roseanne we're married, they onto beautiful homes right next to it and take us to end with a gets boats at all. In point that out here, you're doing seen up in Chicago yours are doing improv and you too, sketch company and then at some point you get hired by boat Dennis Leary and John. Don't start yet a work on their set with them. Yet so understand it correctly. Yes, in what whipping you're you good at that, while mugs my peers? I have the eye not the eye that I pawnshops
but I of the eye of what makes somebody a better comedian how to how to get to the core of what makes you great, civic, John and Denis, are different from the standpoint of John couldn't filled the room with what, at the time with what was special about him. Where's Dennis could fill the back row without even try yes, but John said: so many things that were deeper than what Dennis was saying. He has always done as I had to help really mould the material more and less on performance and John. I had to help and more with performance and less on material. They both rose because they're, both brilliant brilliant comedians yeah so is Larry, come into the mix because he's a where you're good at this. How did so Larry David comes into the mix, because I done this with John and Dennis and Larry and I were acquaintances, I'm in a suite of offices, a castle rock. I'm writing with
a guy named Alan's. Why Bell Great comedy writer? a show for CBS that's going to be a companionship. Or it's either my show or a show called king or queen. Aren't gonna, be the companion, Chauffeur, Bylaws Raymond. Ok, my was the Jeff Garland Programme and so they chose that, but also while I was doing that, I went to lunch with Larry and he was asking me questions about stand up. He's order was sitting on HBO wants to work with me. What do I do next right, and I said if you ever want to do a special which age I was interested in doing something with him. I have the perfect idea. You would play yourself building a special and then the out is you'll have even do. The special wrapped became curb your enthusiasm and he insisted that I am a producer,
that was and probably generous of him at that time, right very much you and then he insisted that I play is manager. Yes, I watch from day one of that show I mean I really thought because I didn't know you well yeah then, and I was younger, and I was like this relation Shit must be real like right, like I would have thought there was fifteen years of history. I would have thought you had some true capacity in his life that we're playing. My was ironic and weird and something you can't explain. So we know each other. How long great we're going on this path? We start having our casting sessions, which were improvising with people to be his wife, be different characters. And as I'm in these different scenarios with him, he and I we ve- talked about it in the auditions people. Leave we go and we ve been working together for toys,
years, because that's what it feels like yeah, weird yeah. It was just like what the hell's going on also give incredibly high bar to match com. In Jerry. Clearly, have some kind of fucking drag my joy, Creative saw makers. Mozilla, like I consider myself, calving gotten very lucky. I am so grateful and the the format of that show again. It's kind of I wonder how much of its law now because the friends of mine from the growlings would get on the show chaotic Caitlin Olsen was on a very wise assurances to strongly backed the seas and oceans. Yes, you are my best friend and in all of us, in the improv world were just a me like all my other shows why? So how does it work rate and in what I understand is that there is a beat cheat to the scene. Is that how you know? That's not, there is no be cheap. Ok
literally a seven page outline what the story written in each of them, like an old couple, prepare refer to each seem like an and actually word an essay. The like it's like since seven pages, long, ok and then we just go from seeing the scene and we make adjustments as we improvise, but the stuff. For he is all there. There is rarely a line of dialogue, you know so we can have the freedom to improvise yeah, but it's not a beach the story, and we know what has to happen in each seen and we don't show the actors any of this, even when the audition they get a slip of paper, of what they're going to do, and it's not real the truth. Ok, so over the years on earth you could have not possibly expected that you would be doing this for nineteen years did not expect it. I did not expect the show to become an iconic legendary show. We did what we thought That's funny. It wasn't like we were trying for anything rang like we were hoping to be picked up. We just did what we thought was funny
We really became my hit when it comes down to it right after the sopranos became ahead. We were put in the ten p m. After the nine p M sopranos for two or three seasons, and it was at that point that we became JAG in. Right season want HBO called us their little experimental ship. But after the was seasoned three, we bow the Sopranos. It just changed everything now. Where is writing process? Are you privy to that over the years? Do you know how they know how he does it and I have been privy to it, but I am not part of it. It's not funny. People come up through the street and tell me they got a great idea for curb, and I explained to them no exaggeration that I have been approached over a thousand times easy and that one has ever been funny and they say. While this one is- and it's not and I go, I hope your satisfying one time some.
Said something to me. It was a comedian, David Feldman who thought of the idea. What the numbers on the arm was out was the Holocaust shop. He thought of that, and I told Larry and he said: can we use it yeah? You know they want to make sure what the point being is myself. One of the people came up with the show Larry's partner, I'm on the show, I'm one of the executive producers. I have never given him a suggestion in the entire history of our show. I have never said should do this. What about this for an idea? Young people are so it had come up to me They tell me and I explain its- not happened right. I thought When I was younger, when I was twenty twenty one that I was going to be a star and a few minutes, yes, then I thought: okay, twenty seven, none of my early thirties. When I stop giving a shit about when and how I became successful and became successful. Almost yeah, when I only worried about being good still
All I worry about now. I don't wanna be crude, but I'm gonna be a little bit crude has her by giving you a financial safety net by which you can truly just things that you are on fire to doing all bergs and curbs. Put me in a nice financial persevere. Unfortunately, curb was on HBO there for I dont yeah, there's no send occasion was now, especially because there's HBO go with HBO now, so no it hasn't made me independently, rich, but I am quite well off from curb, run it and you to get paid a very nice salary for doing it, nobody out there should remotely pray about, and you don't have to write a dog movie. If you don't want, you can kind of track where a MAC, Your wise writer agent starts going, this pretty soon meet. You write this dog movie guys what if the dogma is full of joy. For me, the I'd feel creative and I was being paid a good salary. I be thrilled to do it for me. I don't think
too much about how cool it is not here, I think in terms of how much joy and how much money charm, because they're both important, but I will not do something that doesn't bring me joy. I won't do something just for money around. I have joy yeah now, go Colleagues, you guys are what season sexism, sex, yeah, ok, so Wendy as a very, very good friend of mine, I'm in love, her, isn't she so fantastic I don't even know she's one of the most unique comedian, I've ever met. We were in the growing together we're in the Sunday company again and we wrote a lot of stuff together. We had a very mutually bizarre point of view: community, an damn she does not fit into the archetype of up someone at peace he's coming in the most resolute way, her long beach right the way she was right, it's the way she lives is of a very person that you could see owning a shop It sells clothes for cats a hundred years
she loves casting ozone refreshingly now. Leave she's completely unique in that way. Yes very much and she seems to have this really healthy, like she's, not desiring to be on the cover of a magazine and having our weighing up out, but she does desire to do good work together, yeah absolute, I admire her and I hope that she- and I can work together on other things our relationship on the goal. Bergs in terms of appearance doesn't spoil it rights begin we'll see us as a certain way, but I, but it's kind of amazing, that I have two different kinds of audiences yeah as three cause. I do have done a lot kids movies are below venture to exert movies and also isn't daddy daycare. So I have a lot of choice stuff I have a lot of family stuff and I haven't out of algae stuff right
get out. So it's all, it's gonna dream. I'm live in the dream. Man, good bye only could have someone love me and me love them forth. My life would be complete. I have my children's love, love them, but I want romantic love, yeah well now, that's got absolutely going to happen, because I already very like that. Now it's it's a hundred percent alchymy. My mom has recently widowed and she's Earl catch. So if you want me, however, that at least she is sixty seven quite a bit only the new eleven years- very clause rock what was, and I certainly respect or saw the job she did she's my but I do agree with you gotta watch out, but I kind of feel now. I am not active in going after anyone, I'm not going to yeah I've just didn't
joy being alone and will soon have a dinner, and obviously I did not have nearly the experience you did, but I was with someone for nine years and we broke up before Christen. I and I definitely was very pessimistic for over two years, where I thought. Oh, I guess that, Were you meet someone you fall head over heels in love in your soul. Mates is something that may be just happens in youth. I really started thinking all that. That probably is not going to happen again. I gotta get have a different expectation and I got very very pessimistic for quite a long time, and then I met Kristen grist. Enormous certain I was like, oh my god, it happened again. And I just want you to know like a hundred percent, how does a difference between us, though resigning happen again? I want
he's so sad. But I want to say this to you, and this is no exaggeration, be I've never had that you ve never had never know. Why do you think now I dont know I I I I don't know it's never happened to me. I've never had someone be crazy about me the way I was crazy about but I think that it hasn't been my thing man, but you knows, benefited from it. One who enjoys my work work is about her because of it. How can we both love? Tm, yes transcendental? to strengthen meditation. I started it around the same time Five years had side yeah about five six years ago. Here what happened was to people told me about a one very sad about. One was a friend of mine, mom who suggested it, and then I did some research on it. The person who really taught me her name was Nancy. Cook, Herrera America, cookery learn from the migration issue on the trip with the Beatles. Ok,
and she was magical, she just died. She was in the nineties She also said that the migration said you should charge, but mental amount, because when people pay for something they hold it in higher value, all I can say, as it is brought me great joy rate pace and I would recommend it to any one, and I would say it's worth investigating here. Sign votes, counter intuitive that he does it. Because, when you hear my stern, he seems to have this like knee jerk who needs therapy. You know. I know it's a bit of a bit, but I I was shocked to hear that it confuses me. I look up. Me, too, I'm a great deal. He is one of the smartest most together people, I've ever met, but is also a tough guy because of the sort of this- is the way it s, unity. The rigidity ia is very rigid, accounting as an artist you now following Jerry, said to me. This is four years ago five years ago. How will you why
give me tonight like I was at a show that was hanging out backstage before you go out and watch my own ever get that opportunity. Tech notes tell me what you think, and afterwards we talked for almost three hours about comedy the differences between us. What I thought would ever give me one piece of advice that I've always been intrigued by in terms of me, uniquely No, I'm generally a guy dresses, very comfortable. Nine hundred and one curb. I wear a suit and he said because there's something so funny about you in a suit cuz, you kind of look like you're trapped. I eat that, so it gives off a vibe, that's very funny, and when I've experimented but, and I find it totally right, yeah then so, let's grab outrageously, I wear a suit. Quite often is voice rings, really big in my well, I'm Jeff, you lead with a gigantic heart and anyone has ever met. You would see that so glad you're here. While I adore you and I'll see you and soon you will
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and now my favorite part of the show the back check with my saw my bad men well come to the fact checked power. President poses back Aramis and penis back down and penal. Mrs Pack and Mr Terminus Dan Shepherd should Robbie perennial packet, Armand you're, very thick. Apparently on rum super thick black hair oil ever titles. Now scarlet and not to be confused with Garlon, which decorate a Christmas tree with correct, as at the name. Now that's J, R, L, a and b that garland, oh good thing, your vat checking my thought. His last name was the decorative tree. Now, garlic, J r L, I am angry and garland is Gar land. Her near you put the garland on the tree do
The giraffe around emboss, now embarrassing, is stamping a business cards, a type of damping air the rays. I haven't emboss machine. What are you on both sides to make some cards and staff? And I were them boss, you? He has really fine. Actually embarrassing. You take a stamp and new stamp on a basically clear pad, Louie, Clear PAN and you put it on your paper, your card whatever making, and then you cover that with glitter o dislike type of glitter in bossing powder, and then you embossings yap than you pour the access
Often you use your machine, you plug it in turn it on its like a hare drier birds, Leah Martens after you, ve put the washing powder on its rays. We, after you put pattern jewelry, oh oh you mean after you dump it yeah yeah two may shirts clean more support, I'd like them all. Here, it's fun. I got that paper source Ok, I'm water source, so you want to write happy birthday to somebody. Was that take couple hours now I know now now ever take depends on how much of a perfect still, I suppose, but you're pretty ten men have received many gifts wrapped by you. Sir, that's why I got into it cause. I was really helping my wrapping card game. Like
delivery of presents Germany fantasies about in your retirement, opening up wrapping store. Well, no, I just really one wrapping paper room in my how ok you that wanted to have a share of the rapporteur. I think I need to Do that now. I don't want to turn it into work that smart yeah, but if you want to have a room full of beautiful wrapping paper and all my with from all but you're not interest, wrapping. No, I find it laboriously I pride myself. Now I can do it. I dont think many boys can wrap. They haven't learned a fold. The court recent want, not my other insisted. We knew how to do that. Its useful around certain holidays Christmas trespass, mainly em, birthday. You know like giving gifts and love giving gives I'm so lazy about getting the gear. Figure out where the thing ITALY driving do any as the logistics of it are overwhelming to me. But when I do give someone a gift, I love to give someone a gift. It's very fond of you,
I'm gonna, give me know they really want it threatened. Everything I have given you a few gifts in that it was very fond of do that: guy, greater gift of life, Sir person form of your life. Rose to his say, saved someone's life, really I mean somebody's is obviously letter all like they rescued drowning swam reserve, and even that person I would ask them to say it like that lay saved your life firstly to the person off a job you during Jimmy Jammer and we're gonna go grab some burgers today, you on roll out but you're busy cool so saved your life. Remember I saved showing us I'll, see you over at the workplace. Yeah now, humility melody is, though humility.
It is very important now really a melody real you melodies hard to achieve the emerges govern what you're saying out loud. You still thinking all the thoughts right ingenious. You know better than to say self. Aggrandizing things done, Crusher mine, regardless Japan than I dont I think, if I save somebody from drowning, but you wouldn't say, but would new hope that it always came up when you around what high market saying. Oh my at that's, where we are different railway wanna be celebrated. I do like being celebrated by very specific things: european jobs. Mainly my rapid generally. I liked being celebrated for working really hard and that's pretty much all things that confirm your identity, probably yeah. What?
I'm not someone who save somebody. So if I'd been that on acts of right really, I would be like. I can't believe that happens. I'm glad I was able to help, but also this rings hollow sense for you and I because I think people like me cause our rescue now he's! No, that's not true! Now it's in there! So if I didn't very rare you somebody Abbe like just confirmed what I think is good about now. Why do you need other people to be talking about it? If you now because its recognition that the identity, you think you have is the same as other people do have a view yeah. You know, I like your confirmation Your presenting self is the same as your internal self, which can help you feel as fraudulent. Tell you if you like on this great rescuer and then everyone around the campfires like save, I was drowned, last person I want to walk by would be Dax yeah. I god. They have the opposite. The other.
I thought of me: everyone is Asia and yeah yeah, but you like it when I point out what a hard worker you are to other people in public never happen, ah yes, I do, I do I do with me too. Yes, I do like that. I was thinking about this the other day because you're talking about friends the tv show, I will answer. Yes, you were seen one of his on. You never watched it because you were too punk rock for it. You thought you were a little too cool, for it follows the tv show verse another more yes, I said: oh, my god, if it was sent them all. I will can even more yes, yes, yes, and then I was thinking about a little later. Listening now sound like a reverse, humble brag programme, based on our our conversations about insecurity, but I have no insecurity about being basic right right cause. You always looked unique. I can That's why they heard there been that your blending man rag some people
like their blending in getting lost. Yeah, so they have a deep fear being basic or uninteresting. Are all these things as they feel invisible, but you have always felt very visible re, although your hair is not very visible argue. I had somebody confirm for me that that was bogus and that they could see my hair big time. I can see you but if your hair was pink, I'd see more owing now your mouth, let me now. Neither Monica government is fashioning her hair into a very large announced onto a bigger, not oh, my god, you're saying wow Yes, I can you look much taller, so I'm gonna have to start using a bump bump. It is toy for your hair, basically, where it makes her hair high o gives a bomb yeah. We love bombs. And yes, so I'm gonna start doing that. If I had your here, I would
a yawning is that the guy's name, yeah yeah, the realisation, yes with the violins, or what are you doing? I think that when Techno Classical like electric violins going lighter he d, yes and high tech, classical o mixed messages, you still love an electric violin. I the two can I do. I have a favorite electric violinist, Jean Luc panty. Oh my god, know who that all my God, monetary policy, as I saw an old elephants in LA leads me to a tan way in its electrical via its very adult, contemporary jails. A worn out rhino genre, that Silas expect what did you think rock and roll now the army like then you you're going
although warmer, I can't find the exact words I'm looking for, but maybe like the looming nears, but with electric violin, this straight up, adult contemporary jails, new age, fourteen Ok, my father loved John would pontio my father only listen to electric, violin complaints, the guide, limited source material would be no. No. He only listen to the dark contemporary jazz, new age in so I slowly fell in love with lots of them. Good canny. Login knew what an ugly is that genera who's the guy, when some with May Whitman it doesn't matter. We want to see him, I can it's made ago concerning her dad liked him to Disney musical trembling guitar and then the end,
higher band is a wall about eight feet tall in forty feet, wide of every kind of instrument being played by computer. But it's a real instrument, a sample. So it's a real based from being hit by a robot, real snare array. Meanwhile, by computer. I don't know how much is wall costs or how even invented it of also read you his critique of Kenny. Gee coming Jeez, the most popular ever now that maybe that's what I'm eliza- Caroline, yes, okay, jeez, the most popular ever sure as then road, yeah, but the guy I'm trying the name of wrote, the scaling review of Kenny G's career. That's one of the funniest things. I've ever read in my life and mind you, I think, he's a very nice guy. So I didn't take pleasure in that PIC Kenny G took it on the chin. Just the pedantic nature of this takedown, it was so technical with musical vernacular. It's one of the most amazing things. I've ever read
Think people were on dates there, but primarily like making them warranty. Well, all the instrument is little horny. That's another warning cyber music into more, like the twilight of your romance this now relaxing we got all those dicey, Turbo charged adrenaline bikes out of the way and now it's time for us to sit launchers, holding hands drinking a little venal Tito and just enjoying one another's presents ok the path that Papua New Guinea that within Nothing is one of the best jazz guitars in the world, buddies. Definitely new age chairs in pet, please everyone, red, Pat martinis, critique of Kenny GI, its
unbelievable is as in a most of his albums he's playing off key. The best part was he even acknowledge. Z takes a whole paragraph to say. Let me tell you why I M doing this. I wouldn't have even done this, but this mother Fucker put out an album of like either napkin call classics. Are some really great musicians? Standards can Idjit did there is I died while the line there you're not entrusted to do these songs. I mean also relations outbreak as its hey, knowing that I don't like that. Actually, if you read it, I think you'd really lie. Or maybe a kind of a leader, is any so community, be here, but also a law. Why do you feel like you have to publicly take down and persons we'll get his argument was. I had no problem when you are just a popular saxophone player. For everyone, good for you good for the listening public, but I've gotta defend jazz. You physically camp,
the songs and now you're misrepresenting these great saw. Yet we gonna like give a shitty filmmaker remade Citizen, Kane NEA turned. You should probably stand up and go guises. Knots Are you sooner because also that's on the people to recognise? I had this actually ill and all that good like? Why do you have to stand up and be like the face of taking somebody? Did you hails reserve? Well, if it was just a dig him down a peg: yes, yes, but if he thinks he's preserving the history of jazz That is not the view of the higher calling. I think that's like a nice thing to say to make yourself feel better about that, but I don't think that's point of what is actually do anything, maybe underneath it always some deep seated jealousy. The dingy was so popular now I gotta get to disclose this because it's important I've met can G is a lovely
Yeah he's a very lovely tv sets in he's a pilot, any landed, a plane on a lake, and I he got out of his plane and plain was called a beaver that was the name of the plane hay and he, So nice gray, just is the unnecessary you right sir. I strive to blow at world will if you really feel like there's a person may a huge mockery of this nonetheless did my whole life, and I can understand the feeling when I can't understand his and taking it to another level and publicly admonishing euro ham. Europe, really when I hear that story. All I want is for Kenny G to keep doing well and organise person to die.
Wait! No, no! No! No! No! That's the ultimate and negative bonica you just decide from their own letter. I'm kidding I doubt, but it does make me want, can indeed a team thriving, I think, he's doing great outta here. Ok, so some facts you hit me so he said jewish people name their children. After someone who is deceased- and I checked with my friend Lizzie, my as an ant home in house, ass, usual and melodious them. Yes, and she sent me a good article, so here's a bunched about jewish naming, so many people give a jewish and english name. You might have heard that Jews do not name their babies for living people. While this is true and most communities of Ash Gennady Jews, the opposite is the case among Sephardic, that sounds so. I've heard Sephardic do I've ever where that is our far year alone, force anyone to each ass. Well, that also legitimate.
I mean I have to say so So far, the part that so far the answers that I know so far Dick and if you see vessels like there's a teens that already Sephardic or but then its dick. Oh you write a while. The opposite is the case monks, Sephardic Jews, Jews, have iberian or middle eastern origin who often choose named after living relatives. In fact, many sephardic grandparents look forward to being honoured with grandchildren who bear their own names or they are still alive to see it. I could see that being a big fight,
among the land where on earth, yeah yeah for a short time after the dead, because they can't fight about it, that's right and when you think, if I would like it if the girls name, if they had a son, a name the kid ducks, I dont think I would necessarily here I'd like to see a girl named acts, but not a boy. In my honour, I think that's a weird custom for me because it seems narcissistic like when people do the second and third, it's like they just want themselves sounds like it. By the way I get it we're all parents are guilty of. It's like you want your kid, the look
like you. We are just the beginning of yourselves tenderness, in your narcissism as people always say that Lincoln looks just like Kristen, no one's ever saying that either of them look like me. I think, like an exact eel, I've set alight. So that's why I like our hearing, only person that says that's why our french it is based on their share, but you do you weird? I don't know why it so stupid what you want. You kids, look like you bite by the way. I don't want. My kids look like minks ongoing look, but it's all complicated. So of course, then you take a step further I want them to have my say, name their business. The little eagle central you desire it, but you police yourself. I see that yeah. I would also like. I can not relate Lego, never want a name, my kid Monica, but if my kid named their kid Monica then that I would like eels varies, but I guess we need of it. Does it feel sweet and it feels like this is a person in my life that was import
why now a dead? So now your eyes are important, and so I want to honour her dead body by naming my child after her some years ago. I think that's. Nice are due to among both Sephardic and ask noisy Jews. There is accustomed to name a child After someone usually family member member died. The usual explanation for this. This practices at the parents hoped that in receiving the name of it in admired family member, the child will emulate in life the virtues of the deceased namesake to a certain extent to it, is believed that the soul of the loved one lives on in the child. Who now bears his name? Some perished, the name that has the same meaning or similar, meaning as the name of the realm that their naming some parents choose a name. That sounds like the name of the relative. Their naming after some people try to find a name with the whole continent closer those fanatically similar like a Mamma Amalia.
For Emma Lee and some just choose an aim. That starts with the same letter. My grandma, exactly Roma Redman School is very goal. The star trek pendant couldn't remember the name of that. I think he's talking about the star fleet, Delta, old outlooks, sorrowfully delta, or RO had ok. This is interesting. They're ready, I'm ready is shame connected to cancer cases will love, but it's worth. This is from the National Foundation of Cancer research very trusted brand right k it. So on that one of the three of us will have cancer by the time
despite our societal believed that shame as a strong motivator for improved behaviour and habits. Researchers have discovered that the opposite is true. Shame has been linked with the drawl inactivity and increased intake of sugars and that, therefore, it is possible that feelings of shame darting accounts. So this is once you ve been diagnosed. Therefore, is it is possible that feelings of shame regarding a cancer diagnosis could make it more difficult for patients to adhere to positive lifestyle changes as a component of treatment? More importantly, research indicates that shame as a major trigger of hp, a access, hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal access, our bodies, centralward our bodies, central stress response system, igniting physiological stress response, resulting in a cascade of biochemical changes.
These biochemical changes have been linked to increased inflammation and decreased immunity. More specifically, shame and negative emotions have been both linked to higher levels of RO, inflammatory sight, o Keen called Interleukin six that I'll six since I'll six is highly correlated with cancer progression. It is probable that feelings of shame can physiologically contributed advancement of the disease. Luckily, research in the last decade, spearheaded by the University of Texas, is doctor. Kristen Neff on self compassion, has demonstrated a promising solution. Research has agenda Self compassion, as the antithesis of shame both psychologically an physiologically by implementing the three main components of self compassion, including self kindness, normalizing inexperience and improving mindful mess studies, demonstrate an increase and intrinsic motivation to improve self care.
I could be better at this year. We all can now physiologically research on sub compassion has also been shown, the buffer, the adverse biochemical changes that occur as a result of hp activation. But, more surprisingly, self compassion is correlated with lower levels of I'll six by understanding the link between shame, negative emotions and physiological changes in the body. We can not only develop respected cancer treatments that prioritize up, passion and positive mental health, but we can also begin to view self compassion as an important component of cancer prevent or the pound yeah You did such a good job. Reading that out loud and clear. The way you said taxes is out I would have thought that are also I'll. Six sounds like I'll, say: I would be saying I'll set like this problem originates in I'll, say next to the manners and condiments. So there a lot going on a man tat. I think you should have like an assembly our sexual podcast, when you just read technical,
you liked there who remember. I had this thought when you are talking about something being hard and whenever, during this very like Paul thing. Yes, you talking about making Bob Marines o er, I e as an ongoing. I feel like this could be a king for people, so technical and my mother felt at me that will be You know in our reminds me like when I was an elementary school. This is so odd. Elementary, unlike middle school I really liked teeth when teachers were describing things and they used colors, like everyone put their a say in the blue folder and then get out a green piece of paper and a red card pencil and draw a Christmas tree, there's something about the way they would say the collars I really like to again. I warn you, I dont know if it was a horny went about neurotic way. The way
your parole uses the word out of something. Something got me excited at heart. Something part why Ireland, while Bree had this, amazing Kink, where she loved being explain things in retail stores awry like about the cold, why it was a good co ass. You would get euphoric from that. I was one of my favorite things about her. She would just go to law and have things explained to her and she being state of war- and I was like real way- can a jealous of that? I wonder what it is about our brains like what is the thing happening? When did she saying a bull older women and I may add, I don't feel it right, there's something about specifically it being the tabling of a teacher than paying me, but I don't think that's connected till the color.
Right, a guiding our speech, that's its own thing. Yeah, I saw I right hold my best friend at the time I best friend Jean I told her I was like even this is normal, but sure sure and they ve been you may as well. You know when Doktor Hicks says for your green sheet of paper. Red pencil yeah until I love her, so I did teacher that is it. I've told you said pen so folder in year. Tray curly happened to have the same teacher. Six years later, we always talk like her. I'm not gonna, say your name on hereby yeah, but I grab a pencil when you fodder in putting new tote tray Paleozoic here anyway, so You think I should maybe invest and I'm erotic, podcast ass, I do I really do the I pull they say: Saxo
Right, that's what they're saying, as I was saying I say sex held speaking of Bree say you said that you know after you guys broke up. You felt like. Oh, maybe that feeling you get when you fall in love with someone. Maybe that's an element of youth as opposed to just something humans can feel. And then he said with any fell in love with Christian, and you realize that's not the case here and then he said. He's never have that yeah. That was sad beer. It was sad and invalidating for me a little bit because we had these conversations and I have said lake- I don't know I don't know, then I will ever have that in you seem to differ, Yeah yeah, let me ask you something does what's really curious is when you hear him say it is a
be for you to see what I see, which is he thinks that the result of everyone around him. He thinks that the person he could love never entered his life. He doesn't see that it's him He's the reason he's not love someone like that. The real world is static inconstant, so it's the person who never falls in love with someone. It's not the other people around them. So far, no one's, I'm not saying it's ailments, fault Oh, I am. If you I'm saying, if you never fallen lovers, Buddy, I'm saying it's your fault, you haven't gone out, met enough people eat it. Look hard enough, you didn't know one is in love, someone knocked on their doors. I am here to breed love, it's like it took going out and getting like a job or an education or any You don't do that. I mean, I know plenty of people who didn't go, searching and have found it
But where they open in a way that other people aren't maybe where they more adventurous with given in the charter be no. To spend your talking about me right now are the same in all the same as here I'm talking about him to one. I think he found someone he loved. He married a person who was in a marriage for a long time, but I think the feeling that you were talking about how falling in love, I think the person would have some personal. Fuck that prevented them from falling loved seething found over the anyone. I do you know this theory of mine, you don't like it, but I'm. Yes, I think that if you ended up on a deserted island with any human being on planet earth, if you chose to you, learned of value them and respect them and be grateful for them in a way that is love, but that's not the feeling you're talking about your head over heels, and you can't stop thinking about a person and that's indifferent thing and that's the thing you were saying. You were afraid that that
listen just never gonna happen a year. The kind of thunder struck feel yeah, but let's put it this way, people were love attics? They feel it all the time they feel it nonstop. In its because they're they're looking for that, were they often feel it in a fight to see why, of course, they do so. It's not remember us you're, saying that James Joyce, or someone like that said falling in love, has to do with the imagination of the other part, gas. Absolutely so you can look at it as a spectrum where you have a love act on one side in their falling in love every three days and then you have someone who can't find lovers are experienced it and what I'm saying is that boat people are the same human being. They both have much different imaginations and much different everything ok, but I think the love acts. Often it's not real when the fantasy element goes away.
When that becomes more of a reality? The whole thing falls apart, read, but I'm just going back to you saying that, yes, the person on the island that you could come to love and care for me, grateful for in Miss deeply if you ever separated, is different from the feeling of falling in love, and I am concerned I am agreeing with you. Those are two different feel yes and then I'm pointing out that the falling in love. Part is your imagination in the proof of that is you can see a love attic to falls in love every three days. So it's a decision. They ve made that third an experience that all the time and they find a way to do that. You don't think it's healthy, but I just that to me proves you can decide to fall in love on some black guy sides.
You get infatuated with some, but we're talking about those swell of emotions that we differentiate between the person on the island and falling in love that those are two different feelings, but I'm. So I guess what I'm saying is you can be the person who never finds love, who is constantly quote falling in love and fantasy right, but I just want to be clear about the two things were talking about, both things the person is responsible for so learning to love and respect somebody, that's the one thing, the long term love and then that the the thunder struck feeling is also all your imagination. I'm saying the fact that someone can choose to fall in love. All the time to me proves that its decision, and it can be made over and over again in an unhealthy pathological way
but it can be made. So if you agree that you can love somebody, you can come to respect them and appreciate them in all that and then we're just arguing about whether or not you can have the wave of emotions. I'm saying the wave of emotions is kind of up to the person it's at least within their ability to have the weight for motions. I understand why you feel like that right. Is you. Love a lot of people and respect a lot of people, and so I get why you feel like you could probably have that with every person on earth. But I don't feel like that and I don't love everybody that comes into my orbit. Bright SAM everybody. I think if we have that spectrum, we just detailed, I think I'm a six. If the love attics ten, someone has never been in love zero. I think I'm a sex for the falling in love
So then the fact that I've fallen in love with like four five women says that it's not zero and it's not a chameleon right. I've felt the feeling of falling in love with I've. People are something rare so wherever I met on that spectrum, it has happened to me multiple times, and yet it doesn't happen to me every week right. So I'm a six I'll give myself yeah yeah, I'm just taking the personal responsibility for its like you can kind of pick which, where you want to be on the spectrum- and I guess that's where I disagree- yeah yeah, I dont think you picked to be at a six. I think you eat, that's your disposition and there's a lot of factors that have come into play that have made you overtime, hauling. I didn't pick it you're right, but I could engine either direction. I can pull back from that. If I was a love attic, I could start
being more realistic about what I'm really experiencing. Is it this or is it as I do? I really you know like I could get into that, and I could come off at that point and I, I think Why someone that thirty zero could come up to a four if they put effort into and they said. Oh, I want to fall in love. Ok, how do I found my well, I'm probably more flirting with everyone I meet or a more open to all this difference. Now I presume, if there's physical actions, you could take to walk backwards from attend. I think there must be some you could afford from from zero to consent. That's all that was all oh. What a good thing that we had a juicy debate with with one of the facts, tat good thing, no easy task This ban against you
Transcript generated on 2019-12-04.