« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Joy Bryant

2018-02-14

Joy Bryant (Parenthood, Good Girls Revolt, Antwone Fisher) is an actress, writer, model and played Dax's TV wife for 6 years on NBC’s Parenthood. In this episode of Armchair Expert, Joy and Dax touch on their favorite subject: race in America. They also discuss their sense memory of government cheese, how humans code switch to match their environment, the sociological experience of doing drugs and how to reframe negative perspectives of their childhood. Most importantly they acknowledge their mutual appreciation for sleeping with celebrities.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome to the armchair expert, I'm deck shepherd. Today I am joined by my tv, wife, Joy Bryant. You know her from parenthood. Get richer died, trying Antoine Fisher she's, a writer she's, an actress, she's, a clothing, minor and one of my whole time, favorite people to talk to, I think we work together almost seven years on parenthood and we never ever tired of shooting the shit and, as you will hear, our favorite topics, our sex and race, in no particular order. I credit her with defeating me in numerous debates and I thank her for her patients while guiding me at a snail's pace towards wilderness. She would pay. Then I just use that word weakness, but anyways, please enjoy my good friend joy, bright, he's I have a power station go back and light decision that we are on that runs out
I place my my point. Machine my causing the affair, Andy, are gonna start joy, brain Welcome to the armchair replied castle. I gotta say out of every one that's on and you can look at it. My dry array, sport. I have a brazilian aims on there. I am cleaning sincerely you're the person a most excited to say. I think I enjoy talking you almost more than the oh. I see people out there yet may learn how I got real dear mother values that would have a design like super man back dead men, even their name, wonderful, but we or on parenthood together for six years and we, eventually did this every single day and our trail out right yeah, there's a lot of therapy. I got well you yes, because you
The third lesson is or are not don't notice. By Dax I mean you'd, make a great therapists, integrate acting teacher. Ah me, I know people now you directly Mamma. How good you know say. I've always looking for the back up. Lamb, because, as we all know eventually this that therefore will not ring for about four years. And you gonna move innocent mouse and I've yeah Hannah Workin on transport, if you know like remember one am, I drove my trailer to work and eight they ve got a little that I found the movie non parenthood, a very there's like leaving for the sand dunes after we shall one day, so I drove the twenty four trailer under the law in an ape the they found this little spot for me and I backed it in and they were all really impressive amount to me felt the eight. They agree that had a portrait everything else I didn't want it all. Those that train collar do yeah he's one of us. yeah. I remember when I was when I was soon a movie and at the time I had this, fancy leg. Mercedes
the wagon, and I drove that's sad there like whatever, but then the day when I drove of my husband's relatives, big ass were the same drops. It was silverado what I've. Only five hundred hd silverado for door with the door MAX Diesel ban you'd of light all transfer like now Time made my part, I would like people up and they are my truck give her area and they cannot resign physiology when two years ago made like about your GMO about this, this diesel, modern believer, seventy pounds of foot Tory. I got so much bribes and like tat, your husband, your husband, whose. An enigma in so many ways has attracted every one of those ways, but I think you have
listen to I just love. Talking to you, I think you have one of the more interesting stories that there are, because you grew up in the Bronx you raised by your grandma, and I think it's really in esteem, long, curvy road to you- and I mean I'm parenthood. In a world where I feel like I relate in Matt. I like lived in a way fair building for a few years. I was brought home to a trailer. Isn't it I love that either you are, I could end up. You know doing what we do well, hence there when you say about like having always having to back a plan, because I think when you grow up like that yeah years, tariff yeah yeah, I might have big Vulcan, be oh yeah, and even though things go well, you're always make sure, because you always had to have you see and see. It was on our collective mine as a family and all the time tat money. ma. Am I'm on my way
but you are raised by your grandma and also if you for some of you that don't know joys, an amazing writer she's one of my favorite, her she's written coup, sound really how kind of up any lower. We call them up. Eddie pieces is always come Essie essays. Yes, and I say you ve written to that were fuckin, brilliant and one oh mom you're was, I found to be so powerful because I hadn't even thought you and I both Russell with some issues mine is with my dad, I was you know- very I've had a very, very hard time just liking him to be honest I was so disapproving of every decision made in life and By my own estimation, everything sheriff myself came from him. Anything good came from my mom, so I was really hard on you and it's really layered and then when this me to this me to movement started. You add what I thought was a really interesting take which
As I remember you, two had a hard time of your mom and you were pretty judgment of her and then realizing that, oh, my god, she was a victim of that et Cetera entire lyin motion yeah. Yet so what you did you come home from the hospital straight grandma's or when did you movement grandma? I came home straight from the hospital to Grandma's yeah yeah and she wasn't actually was work on her Mamma? Anything, no Jeffrey, Dahmer Shit, where you saw your mom was your sister area that really one of those famous here the killers they were raised, thinking there mom was their sets out. Why I also heard Jack Nicholas, I mean circle it when I heard the same, no he has a serial killer. Allow probity they're waiting for him. The parity is linked to like twenty six murderous throughout the Hollywood hills. I knew if I had to be murdered someone I would pray. It would be Jack Nicholls really here, one
me an outstanding experiences with now now would you want to be killed by already now, I'm going out and out you, you wanted you'd like to be fought to death by Jimmy relax your dream, that I give it does anyone living our dead right without beguine, allowing that would be valid? Do you find a brown or some how its arrive during under yes and we were deceive, like even tell while we wanted to know if he had like a flood of law Grey Zone YE, I was kind of gnp because it was more so about like the women who saying that it was him in the table like talking, there was a lot of, but let it wasn't a sex eight. No, it was a big let down. It was abused like tat, we We were going to see love making that sounded like crosstown traffic
we thought we were going to see. Lobbying of Hercules does something real messy Fernand, but not in They left us with more questions and gas right. Yet we actually, what's that like inventoried like him between lay their eggs, he takes it whenever, in fact, if you and I don't eventually get some sexual rest, in case brought against us by parenthood I'll be also worldwide. We join, I would watch non stop this those theories about power, Venus? What this woman and other women about the power of a man's pin only add, and how is he It's your walls. You gotta hit the Y yeah, he is your? Was you're you're you're cognitive functions, The winner is anyone to walk. We wouldn't you sure you know we did a lot about what we target and we are watching it, certainly within earshot of a lot of business. True, this is true yeah. So we also found, says: there's you really know women. That way
That means stood so there should be, but I think we, a sound guy. We love wrong they're, wrong yeah and he could, he could see, was for sure We talked almost exclusively about what kind of swimwear he wore on vacation and we we had guests in a been confirmed that he does wear leopard print Vito's, which is spectacular I just always America, yes RON wrong. I'm wearing Brigade asked me that, because he knows lived with the microphone you gotta high, yet what oh yeah yeah yeah dad died the MIKE, if you need a place to keep an eye on so he would ask me if I was wearing a bra yeah. It was funny, because it was his funny again One of those scenarios you're an opera you went abroad, yes, a broad today, but you can they were different actress. That's it that's a weird situation, because colonel women
like generally women in this business are having a microphone put on their brought by man. I'd say at least ninety nine percent chance enemies and airy. I mean to me, I think, like dudes reckon especially I think sound guys. They recognise that Massive arterward, its awkward and meal and no one is trying to Copperfield mean at least a mere hope, not the awkward thing, but it is funding to be ass if you're wearing a brok, as anybody else ass. We were brought here. Let me buy you re about what I'm doing my business rise. Like yes run, for. I am wrong. I am in fact yours. If you ever have to say to him, I'm not. I think, five possibly a couple times then not today or on a day to day work. the other day, robbery by re balance, and I so and then did he just get perplex like or what are we going do now horizon uses gonna go to the thigh.
We know what we use. Even say we say now don't get majority we will get sued with my good, but you are raising a brain What did your grammar do? What actually grandmother p, hired to me being born. She worked. She dropped out of school like ninth grade daily work. Maybe she's doing my insurance working there sure, let alone my family worked like Blue Crossing blue shield and work now. Call insurance, yeah yeah. I like our car insurance, but when I was born she in order to take care of me she their job and she went on welfare. To take care of me, she was my who never I may regrouping note. We were one group, an ad in the South Bronx in, but she had worked harder, life and she had never so hard to accept government.
The citizens yeah was a big theosophy you're wrong, so yeah, but you're, not even, there are thus leaving only where an issue in a sheep to supplement that she would do all stuff on it. On the side like help people, you know as someone who is certainly a lotta. Your neighbors were also giving government assistant yeah, not necessarily nihilism x. It was an accident, but there were shame regardless alpha sure yeah Fisher I mean like I remember. Like I hate you, Did you get for sales? I did it again, my mom very pride for woman. and there were moments where we certainly should have had them right and we did it right or, like my lunch, Fuckin Blue and also the other kids were poor and they had the free lunch like rain. Pizza, fries and I have like a Bologna sale engineer, sought no mayonnaise yeah, my mom's pride now, but whatever the about me. I remember like being a shame that we were on welfare
unlike mean handed through, stands yugoslavian government is, I will do it about. My government geological government chose Axiom under whom agreement was that the basket and to this day my favorite cheese is that government. To this day, the best cheese from macaroni and cheese and grilled shoes, I would argue much easier? Almost all my friends had that government cheese and they had a really grows. Looking like seventy ounce can that just had a picture of a pig on the side, your over that on, like a fucking can of pork. I don't know what partner in it, but it was ass. It was, I assume cause of you know English. Secondly, whatever they made it a simple as possible, there's a picture of a pig on acts like a black outline. It was, it was cheese. peanut butter, cheese and penal rows of biggest ones or make it work. I visited the learning about other worlds and vague dairy, but so used our. In public school there,
actually I started in catholic School or you do you want to have a school for like six years and man public over two years, and then I got a scholarship to private school. Yes, you were a part of the field stun enrich amateur problem right right is correct and what the fuck is. The fields in the fields of enrichment programme was a was took place at the fields in school. Just like this private day school like fancy her school in Riverdale the North Bronx and so on. Saturdays. on saturdays and then every day, some are so. Basically, I went to school six days a week and summer for myself, seventh and eighth grade like we would go to the school and there be other teachers from the district that we were in, which exists with nine in in the Bronx. just which I didn't know until years later was like one of the worst performing districts in New York City Yacht and know that got worse. When I was
but anyway, on the teachers from the desk, We come to the fields, enrichment programme and that's when we were like get like intensive like like reading now, signs classes vases supplement. The. wasn't bullshit as your education were getting and was driven by you or your grandma. Nobody, like you, you gotta, know me I mean I was always a pretty driven ketamine. She. She instilled a me that, like the only way for me to get out of here The environment is nine in you up for all this shit, she's on me, but I'm knowing about this first like doggie, right right, so school, like private goals would go to and, I believe, fills me with a part of a bigger umbrella of a better chance, which is another bit of national organisation. So private schools will come to programmes like fields to nourish, there's a bunch of different programmes like this.
And basically scope out their talented minority Georgia, because for them the in theory want to diversify, their student body. Yes, as we want to have a better, they also, I would imagine, don't wanna let someone in that's gonna, ultimately tests terribly in their programme. Looks like not a success, so they're gonna hear evoking item exactly exactly because when you, sort of go to programmes like the one that I went to that's a sort of how kind of get you kind of you know what a weed out peoples. Can I get you a mindset of of like competitive academics, sort of environments, radio, so you want Some. What you want to set everyone up up for success in the school once like you know, viable candidates does not make them God we wanted an education. So today we are you being made fun of at this point, because you're doing all this schooling pool in your neighborhood say later
your uppity or anything. When I say I mean I definitely got. The oh yes, I like a white girl or use Mars. Are you why or whatever? But it wasn't? I never felt bullied our guy gets Wasn't it wasn't like that message? Should people say, but you said you wrote about this. I believe in Europe, the USA, about having kids I feel like this is where I read it, or maybe just told me, that you didn't feel like you or fitting in in the black me, because you don't have a the gas you all that was as other there was another PETE. There was the reply, there are many matters should I can't, even as I like it when they are very minor earlier, I went knows that in writing. Having way there's nightmares now, there's no flourish, as I have often had the truth. It's great thank you, but you and you felt skinny right now, because I I didn't see I didn't feel like I sit in, like I didn't
I invite. I looked like what everyone else look like these wanted to look here. I like this is eighty yeah. I was born somebody forces in IRAN and we have seen happening. Yak is why what awaited boarding school and eighty eight out there. You were thirteen yeah yeah so long time, but I think it's. I think. It's again, I think weirdly, although they were very different. You and I straddle the bunch of different things, were as a kid you don't feel like you're part of either of these groups, and maybe your drawn the bolt groups in your kind of playing a little bit him both, but you make for me personally. I feel a little bit fraudulent and both in its really complicated and then later in life like so many things. It's like this crazy give that you have got you, behind it becomes- is like the greatest thing in your arsenal. Yannick. I wish I wish that horse angle.
Come back. I wish that I had more confidence in just being even I was different right. I have more confidence in that and I also wish that France's like now? When I see, I think this is a great time to answer as a black person or as a black woman, especially to be like freeze to express yourself. However, you want right right, like in a small way to suspect of seeing like Black, had skateboarding Joe, every time I see a black it. Ok, where am I my people are your hillbilly husband. Try, my lacking and I've got a beer dry Ladys on Iraq and the way they work not only to lick a black allowed but yeah like any I see that or like I was at this at this concert, the other night
and there is an artist who opened up for this band and huge black duties really just out there- and I was like I just love, see- implacable- be free. Response themselves. You know not I'm sure they're still, there is definitely still stigmas or or people who talk a lot of shit, but like it's much easier to be a black nerd warning, or to be like you know, there's there's more There's more examples. I should say the Moors Mohammed issues. Now is more examples of s delay if you're going up oh and you're, seeing all of these people who look like you doing things at your interested, you feel more supportive verses went back in the day. We are like little internet, MIKE I'm the only one I want to go to space you're only I wish there was yeah, they rule you're right, you're right. I think also the way that the that the television business has evolved, which I'm regularly lamenting at times when it's time you paid or some
but what has happened which is cool, is now the tv game is a niece game, so Netflix is stoked with seven hundred thousand viewers back in the day, if you weren't, getting twelve million view areas. They were. They were not gonna pay money. So so now there's like hundreds of Now these niece subcultures or cultures are what they are and I think that's really kind of cool something. I don't really about. As at yeah, you can kind of fine thing you're into you can find your drive. There was a lot harder to do that back in Amy. Never people who don't know you, you started in the Bronx now I know you want to catholic school, but then you are part many went away to a boarding zoo in what is it Westminster I now seems very kinetic, which is all fuckin white right Joe. He was about three hundred and fifty students, nine percent minority and ethnic minorities as like a blanket esquire. That's a girl, that's one eighteenth Cherokee method, but I'm fine
but yes, that's black. By the way, when someone tells you their american Indian, I just want to say I have a little ratio that goes through my heads. If I mean do that's like a quarter quarter Cherokee. I then multiply that by point to five people tend to exaggerate how american Indian they are all you know. What would it there's a point now? When I wouldn't would not let you told me in Bronx, they call it read bone now, ass, Jeff, that's right back there. One thing I learned- and I dont know what to do. I don't wanna trap you into speaking for the black money, but you can speak for the Bronx community, a nineteen eighty. I can speak for Melfort Michigan. Why? Why won't go back to the American into tends to Marian? Anyway, I give someone were to say I'm a quarter. I most likely yeah, I think like, but you raise a point where because you gotta show like funny routes. Would house I am aware of- and I've never watched a totally Wachovia everyone
prisoners I got a slave owner in their back right. That's why I've been applicant, like you just like scrub and in an almost rail to show, and then you people do Larry David Larry David, but he's seemed a lot like he had the reaction like I would averages they spoke of his relatives. Only some slaves and he starts laughing uproariously is like you'd find you. Let them know that he was going to be all right about cyber from modern family. He found out that he's actually a descendant of slaves, oh raising blaming. You should last issue, but anyway, aerial escape, because there is a lot of people like overtime like oh, I got India, my family, I was, but Sometimes it's you know, that's what I've been told doing. You're just made. That up is what you know are anyway these challenges the family right here right now, the war ended up. This would have whatever so that that that is to be set up and dressed up a bit.
Yet where the dragon- and so am, I think, through in that direction, oh and sort of his involvement in genealogy or wherever he discoveries. I know you like that's, probably move from most black folks in America. This actually not true, is not accurate, so by against because of what's been passed down now by oil, me, ok and I'll, I've always been told that we have Cherokee Ogre air. I don't know which rule you got your own song to Ricky I'm not scared about our love. Might I'm just saying if you gonna find out your american indian right? skies the lemon. If there's a song, why? How I'm one by one percent according to twenty three main one percent? Yes chair, I don't know it's not gonna. Let me end american all how Hitman Ivan Anthropology musician. I bet I will tell you exactly what those burn aware that came from, but I'm also point two percent ask uneasy. Do
believe it but anyways aunties, actually don't do the ratio on a black person tells me that their American, in which, by the way, almost never It's more than me. When a white details meet these american rank, as you know me, I, like I, love seventies, outlaw country in all these guys, always inside their american indian. Really, yes, like I'll, tell you well in your wallet well in Jennings and and Oh my God, Hank thank Junior. They did a couple duets to get in those. Do what you find out. They have They have given themselves american indian name, so one of them's name, water, she and one on one's name, vociferous in name they they have. This kind of arcadian a utopian idea of what American Indians I was. I dont think I dont think spooky Israeli Cherokee. I didn't
it was like that they were all excited to embrace that they had want hushing embassy. Don't you know we won't won't. Tell she I'll, be worried about my side knows a lot of noise other my anyway. That's why have the ratio is really doesn't it doesnt transfer on a black folks? I didn't take them at face value but if I say you from a very black neighbourhood Elizabeth, predominantly black hispanic, Neighbourhood Yang, you do not necessarily feel like you're, the you know, a packs of whatever girls were trying to even now. Have we not. There was the opposite apex than me that they may be, and then was the up and was like lower than that, then that there may be are not minors. Timber say exactly that was me, and then you go to this fully whitewash allowing kinetic ITALY by my estimation, is like the widest are the whiteness of the white credit line right.
Israel Billy's in would weaken, may begin into this, but you and I have invented the sole spectrum right, yeah yeah. So there's I think when your porn you're down and out there there's some soul action. That happens. You know on the good end of it, so there can even be there's some there's some all attributes to these weirdos living and appellation with their banjos stuff. You know Where's Connecticut is like you know, where Scott last, be Christmas, trees, lumpy timescale, white lights on it riots blue early that's my idly. Allied Lou bloody old money, yeah yeah, so you go, there are, and are you scare together now, your excited, I'm really excited because, like my grandmother said education is going to take it out of here. So as soon as I soon as I found out that I can go to school, not that I would or could, but when I found out that I can go to school and fucking Hawaii,
like what Amadeo right rather like I was excited to go away, but at the same time it was a culture shock yeah and I honestly wasn't so much even like yeah it was, I mean, obviously there weren't very many people who were young black as banning when, however, by the hard part aspect of the culture shock, was not the racial part. it was the Socio economic yeah rockers I mean I knew I was poor in the Bronx within I really like Mcgowan, but I was also in the scale of growing up in a sort of you know, working class lower Oh Lord, on low incomes like low Income. Do like to middle class, yet like middle class area
and then going there is like holy shit yeah. It is funny when you're a kid you're, largely unaware of where are you our immediate environment, yeah ranking nap early years Why don't I? Yes, that is that was like a huge shock and it affected my confidence level, because I I thought that genuine pours bad yeah yeah when you hear that like it, so bad around other poor people. Yes, so imagine around Europe's people of is like it was completely like and like how would affected me for the first couple years was sort of like I thought that, just because those kids were rich not that their way RO, just because they were rich that they had to be smarter than me, because why, wouldn't you be right, mature if you're rich, your family have to worry about,
hey I'm bells. You're gonna do about places day. Whatever you have plenty food to eat, you couldn't go to the best schools. So what a fucking you all our condition to believe that being rich is a product of kind of elevated intelligence, whether its through ingenuity or management or whatever you do. You associate linked those things you don't think of a dumb ass is being self made, millionaire right right, it's so they're kind of inextricably linked right. So so it function at me because outside even though I still got the gray did in fact info outwardly effect. My performance right right, inwardly, I've just like I know I can even- and I think, there's a couple. Things have happened, but mainly it was that, like I finally realise that if the dumbest Katyn School was also the richest kitten school yeah what the fuck is my problem right and then was it like you actually realise that their or after their none o there because they like,
in evolving realizations. I can't remember of actually realise a manner I did know. I was very clear. I remember the time because I, like you, made it once once once said clicked, then it was like yeah like I was paid, there is no desire and ends, and I realise that at the right fucking time, which is like at the end of my sophomore some seven somewhere around my sophomore year, going it's my junior, which is most important for college, but once I realized I got this yeah, so they made it off, but going back, to the rays element. There is definitely say where yes or no I'm imagining being you and I guess the closest I can come do it is being semi recognisable from tee. Right so I'll be in a scenario where there's fifteen people and I'm this battle and my have that I feel like everyone stay healthy, I'm pretty certain of it and then another
I'm a brain goes your being eagle, maniac known in here. Thinking about that I've got a picture of me that some proof back in the event of a magna maniac, I'm actually conscious of yellow. I am detecting, like everyone here, fucking thinking about me as very uncomfortable So I have to imagine being one black girl in a class of twenty five people I feel like. I would even vows wrong bees thinking tat. They must all be thinking about the fact I'm here not so much on me. I think that, like my my confidence, my outwork, like my confidence level, was the shaky here because of this feeling, like I wasn't as good as because they had more means right, so I tend not to really raise my hand and class barrage or whatever, but I wasn't really chip and on them trip in on me.
Oh by the way back and go both ways, because I also put a lot of energy into trying to be different in my class I had allow hawk and then I had greener and that address I'm ok, and as I do that, yes, I dug it. Do you know that I was obviously seeking out, which young weird have always been trying to do that? What I did I did that on level of like at my school, you had to play a sport rate, and before I got there, I ran track I play basketball, but when I got to the school the I didn't know there was fucking all these other sports like this, what the fuck is cross country wherever and whenever I right or wrong. I never seen soccer before. Until I went there or like hockey, Saki Rough was it with a special unit, Wainwright Hockey yet, but actually play for. I tried by every sport in for me play basketball where you gonna play the thing not like me, so
that's what I'm getting at is that, like I didn't run track onto my senior year, I didn't I play basketball. One sees it the Beazley. I was determined to play every other. fucking sport then the one that I'm not gonna, sing and dance free. Why, even, though, like well? Ok, A there is some type something to be said about bass, world tat whatever, but at the end of the day that is I played where you go in there, so I had this little of my stroke, shoulder like omelette ominous shown that I'm the best swimmer in this day ever get an idea. I said it did so busy. Amish show them that leg we play. We play hockey replaced glass among the bus. These white girls, like that I was like yeah, proves it automatically any more. I that's. Guy now finally ran track and, like I did pretty girl,
ass, I might cause you were like. Why did you bring a little bag of emotions to totally shine and become a bundle of shared values and bad men? So a boarding school. So you there, what nine months or years something you're pretty much, and then you will come back to the bronze and what was that transition back there, like win to me, was pretty much the same amount. I think I have more confidence and more confidence in like manner. I thought I was different, but whatever I was nerd whatever like it was. Ok right, you know
Also, the weird thing is that you know I'd always felt really like insecure about what I look like right of his right to human condition, radio and the. But when I went to boarding school, the fact that I was skinny was act we were, there are gone for yeah I was. I was so confusing to me because I have been completely different culture where that wasn't the ideal, a steady rise. I go to school, where there are no, my guy, your buddies museum like I'd, never hurt that before, not that I should be hearing that thirteen. But my point is that, like I'd, never I'd never been that girl brought, so it oddly kind of gave me confidence to be, what you were tat when what I was right like you can still get caught up. I didn't have ensued order, but to sort of us too, to be caught up in that aesthetic yoga
yeah, but I needed to go that way in order to feel comfortable about myself, but I didn't really understand. Like I couldn't understand. I didn't know what eating disorders wasn't weren't I got to school and I'm not making a means of serious condition had no idea what that was- and I didn't understand it. When I was They are because they understand. What are you well there's all these weird things that pop up once people have a lot of money like his settling live. If food scares than the no, of choosing that needed, as is preposterous and then- and I think I feel like there's a lot of these counter. Real is eight. When people have the luxury of not worrying about Ex Whimsie, they start having other concern. I do think it is interesting that you're not finding people choosing not in a lot of place.
on planet earth where food is scarce, it's gonna them rights. What is there any sort of like what is the only item? I I think things could possibly be different now, but I think at the time it was definitely a predominantly like white. I don't know which economic class round but I would assume upper middle class to me at the time. It seemed that way and ends, because also when you think about coming from, is coming just from like aspiring to a certain body tight which is eurocentric, which is why, which is like you know, skinny now and whatever guide. Possibly I don't know they have also involves over the decades now, when you watch movies almost bronze got a great ass and then I watch I'll catch. A movie like on from this. these are eighties, unlike the pin up girls by or that you know it over the height of the most, the sexiest women out their net zero ass, just known, even considered that they might need to work out their legs are there,
right, which is all about big boobs night like in the seventies AIDS, so that a static changes like decade the decade true, but the white aesthetic is pretty consistent. Our guy over, I believe you still pretty incessant by anyway, I'm so. I don't know the psychological leg underpinning of eating disorders, whether it is a real thing right now. I think I think it does cross cultural lines, but I'm over my experience. I was there another minute indoors on other side if people eat too much destiny disorders. Well, I sure by no one striving for on the thinnest static writing from Sudan, place it was. They were answered. I sit in so that many more comfortable, but then, like you as a slippery slope, so I guess you could do one of war could do a few things, but I imagine it could do. One outcome would be
you you're at this white place in you feel like. Oh, my god, I'm crushing on this and then you go home and go away on now and then you go oh All these things are mental constructs. These are all like. We ve none, nothing's real, so this neighbourhood, as this static and, and this one has this severely- there isn't anesthetic its way on a cultural which right would be liberating right or you an outcome can be. You feel out of place in both places or the even third. The best outcome, and maybe one you he can both these places. It's is already about. Actually me. I think that, like now I can say, I'm unique and all these places I think at the time it was both of those other things are sort of like going back and forth between sort of like oh ok, this is bullshit or whatever to leg. Could you at least
you saw the kid you wanna financial area, so it's like that again, that's what I'm just answer were: processing all that stuff with a fully developed frontal. Read that we now in older person has re. You know it's impossible, do remember exactly how your computing, all the shrimp brain, doesn't work that way more right, yeah But then you you go from there and you get into yeah. I did yeah an damn you go to yell I do gaudy our no one thing before that. Will you dating in high school yeah yeah where's your first boyfriend My freshman version another year westerners. Why dieter biting Lected Blackie? Yes, ok and ones the fur, because you told me a great story, but this was
you're in the ally thing. I was verse, immediate, a white guy enable in high school freshman year and a half presently junior great name when suddenly ended that trigger any. Like did you go? Did you go through a whole other phase of like evaluating yourself based on the valet myself or just fine those hockey, nor he met a guy? You light, and that was a simple yeah mean I guess like I wanted to be a track. Give to you these are slowly hear anything we share and early warning about deserve. All I got my gotta wait, so we so wait. Even question about eating
not me, I mean I've, a million quotas by dating some pervert bug continue, was about Yale and kind of Titan attitude for Michigan when Europe Yes, yes and you go back to the matter and grandma noise or am I was like a word more. It was Ah. rough. I guess started this. Conversation by saying that joy, Our apparent over six years were playing in interracial couple in yet in six years there is only really a single episode that talked about that fact that I, ray. You were black yeah and I I do not fought the show for this. I think it was an attempt to be postponed
though a gas eight years ago seem like what you should do, like others had just been normal. This doesn't need to be the topic that they go through all time which is fine whatever I again, I'm not critical of it but what's fascinating as soon as they do I'll cut off, when I arrived at all always alkalies Viking line here ever higher. How Mercedes we, both finding endlessly fascinating, is endlessly veneering to me, because I wouldn't fuck and majored and anthropologists by was fascinated by like cultures and how right upfront, how are the same and what's the overlap- and I wish it so we never stopped talking about it anything else were still too and we will die talking about. I talking about it and we both as I recall and I talk to you after seeing get out you and I both loved the opening of that movie. Right I mean I could watch. I mean the movies perfect, its Arafat perfect. I started watch, but I also could have watched a whole movie. That was just that opening act of them tat
other stuff, and I think, when you date each other too, there's like yet another layer, because when you're in love with someone all these fears come out like will I be enough for this person in my attractive enough, all these things so now that just like pours gas on all these other young. So it's endlessly fascinated me, but went so. I would assume in new, tell me so become like a master codes which are at this point right. You can that's really give I mean I I mean I think that day Every black person in America is a major codes, will have to be yeah. I mean in in interest them even more mundane situate mean like yeah yeah, where we all have to what am. I think, because, again all the allotted these shoes that everyone talks about appear to be black wider. They population, coats, efficient you, but even then,
I'm I'm sober and in a people go. My uncle is my uncle s mouth and I was got once religious, human nature, writer, human condition, similarly, so code, switching, yes, obviously much more dramatically. Have to do for your black and you live in the? U S but or you may or or but me like. I want to use the allay. I go home all my friends Many of them are in jail, some of their missing tee. I codes weight back there. I, like I talk different, I'm gaily. I want to be more blue collar. I wanna be then more masculine, more all the annex, and I do that and then I'll run into some fuckin executive I want to job from an all sudden, unlike I'm a Harvard gradually right now, so I'm doing it to its. Definitely it's more obvious, I think, on the outside, and we even you- and I even had this experience so you you and I met before we ever do parenthood. Here we had met a couple times like out in public, and I just
like you and I feel like you and I had a similar acknowledgement of. Oh, isn't it crazy, were now like, like they say, another salary is another sailor. I think you and I are both in places where they put out into the railways. Do say real recognise rail users there, so we- I met a couple times and I, and I are just- was immediately drawn you and then we are working together and I will say we shot the pilot, but that was really brief and then we came to do the series and I'd you remember you, and I will use the wrong words here. But all of a sudden you got blacker with me. like I saw as decided at the adjective I can say, is black, which is wrong, but is being honest and then I wish I had tell myself, like, oh, of course, like joys from the Bronx. This is where she is.
This is her too. But for me it was an adjustment, and then I thought I guess this is maybe a compliment like you trust me to be that other side of you to do. How do you make that this Cissian, whether you're gonna, let someone you're circle into like yet another layer is it are now nothing sometimes conscious. I mean I to let you into a lighter, which is like I have a professional liar, and then I have like I'm going to say ship that if someone read in a transcript, I'm fucked, I'm gonna trusts. You know how I really want to talk to you. I mean I think, like us No, I mean you know you discretion and you figure out who you know right. Gonna roll up to her mother talk to arm. When he's still Has the went on to you right unless you gonna run his daddy out very well in that case,
Mongolia, mother, even Judea, who might be able to do so. You You are not interested in the archives who gives a fuck, but you, though I do want to say one thing and I am pleased home because I mean I was ever two years, but whenever you when I was at boring, embarrassing working engineers, one question help Hunter. when you get a letter that our sold out the less. I guess I was so fucking point because I knew I was going to school there. I knew that I knew it. I knew it in fact, I knew it so strongly that I was going I only wonder, meanwhile, anything about the shit that I isa anyway, only ones applaud. You know back up for you. I was like a Mite yellow brown. My colleague of mine was like you can't just supplied and you can't just applied to Ivy League souls, but am I get in the year you can learn about. I did a guns everywhere I apply, but the others.
I needed to apply to other schools. He was that I do not do so. emission letter. You remember now. I remember unlikely riders and we get the right. As I tell myself my only gonna museum acres of admission letter. I think that I got into a year ago, we have the well round. I was well rounded student, even though my my test scores my arm as the enterprise or on the low side, there was a dude. There is obliged whether there was a dude in school were applied year. He was in the can be classed as emu, a heating get in, and so he never said anything to me. But I heard how how showing I put you back. Organic cause, you're fucking, boring, then this. I really know him now, but I didn't know someone a woman out at some teenage girl who I was friends with friend friendly enough. You know
and I got in two or more my safety schools, one of her reach schools as while very well off and she didn't get into that school. But I did right, and she was like you even want even go to school or like you're gonna, get your black, and I was like here's the thing I got ends or, as I got him because my grace about in yours. Well, right, that's great! So, but but this is my annesley when it comes to block what I'm not competing against you so right arm yeah, it's! This is something comes up all the time when people are. You bought affirmative action right because there are people say, and I've heard black professor professor status, who are against it, wished very few. I suppose that, yes, oh so you'll get in every wanna. Go you just gettin, because your black and that's wrong way to get in our whenever which to me is preposterous because, like now get near the fucking goal,
what people are saying he who anyone about? What about those kids? You get him because their father Bare legged him yeah you now. That's affirmative that well yeah, yeah yeah, you know, or in other areas where I write or the fact that you are a woman and so like So I remember those two inches is like in terms of anything like really to racist or anything related to raise that I encountered at that school those or to the biggest moment meta nets. Pretty good, consider Dave right, because it is what you said, which is my neighbour of it. Was it you're a fighter? Oil was. How did you feel it fell? Immediate fell incredibly dismissive ray we're, not my being literally taking away you're accomplishment with once, and I think do thou know saying that shit, but the woman than I do know you saying measure and we spoke be cool, but now I realize we ain't that cool, because at the end of the day you still looking at me like Alma, were so fuck you, an american Indian,
the guy you like your chair. Can you re like this girl's wonders you're, not even your one percent authority, listen getting what you didn't fuck you so anyway set out those that was my ear. yeah well know how I would Cosette didn't happen to me other than like yeah. They didn't happen. We I what I'm dyslexic. So I took this like six week, testing phase in college so that I could not have spelling count. Basically, that was the reward. If you were able dyslexic and in so I had people jokingly, say that to me, but they really didn't do it.
It's not even use version because you get to take two hours on the task easier for an appeal, but that nominating tomorrow. But so you, how do you what we major net you or? What are you going to me? I thought as an invasion economics houses, thank God that and have a phd in getting play how did you get in the modeling from, I was at a party, wants a party with a friend of Yale City. There were fashion people there. Somebody was like, oh well, and you go to Yale. I mean the end, then you Then you are kind about how long did that go on where you are modeling professionally zoo? you are like in Europe all the time you of crazy stories about being on a boat and in shit like that,
I'm her firm like this. Dropped out a year. Ninety four was at her decision. No, it wasn't no clean it will. I should say I didn't make it like a media like I definitely is sort of like ok, it was hard. In the sense that it was a hard decision, but I still made it innocence. I, like most people that I knew were like this is the dumbest thing yeah yeah, but maybe you think maybe you're you're. You had set the mental target or goal as getting into yell Had you had the mental target of I wanna be a yell graduate know. Why have I didn't have again the big accomplish? Now I have the bandwidth assignment it. Wasn't it I'm just things like I want I, my high school, was harder van anything of every hour, really yeah, yeah yeah. Ok, definitely I mean it
I know, of course, that I didn't to end up staying there. Long whatever been terms of like- or I should say this- that it was such an intensive and tense academic environment that I was burnt out by atomic idea. Right and you know, is funding- is one of saying that people would say it was like the only a unique from Yale is the eight not to say that what I say yes, Stamford is right. This is basically like everyone that gets into Stamford, was getting a four point out. What have you got in you? You, then therein got a flashing eyes getting so they did. They went to pass fail because it was kind of pointless. Yes, if I put down the brown, I would have probably done pass blackened choose their yeah. I think that even when you actually do you can your entire thing can be. I think back then, I'm sure now, but
yeah I know, but when I got there I was burned out and then just sort of like life took all these different changes into us turns and all that other shit where it's like. I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. So modeling came at the right time and while everyone, the majority of people, that I knew and cared about and whose opinions I cared about, told me- I was a huge mistake yards without an. I regret, and I mean when all they are now like those that was pretty risky, because I was basically making a decision based off of like blind faith in God and the fact that, like I wasn't here, be so I gotta do something else, and that's not a luxury as a luxury. That's not something that someone who do you have a world kid and we're trying to deny, or while I do have a trust fund. Yeah yeah. I have parents right, I'm ferrets yeah thing you don't mean any have able to fall back on the only thing,
battle was me, so I was making a decision that people who are much more. are financially secure. Me, like you, ve risky, when you got, if I can make account, volume is harder to ours about how they talk about in Zaire. Athletes like, I can't believe you left early, they shut. You know I and they leave right now, I'll fucking kill you. They re only to feed you why their concern, as I guess they like setting up making decision based off of your are you yeah yeah and you have an opportunity to make some money, so you started making money good money It was better than the mean fifteen hours a month was better than zip was making for ya. no, it's all relative. Exactly I mean at the time I wasn't working a lot of them, Robert I was, I was building on our working thirteen thousand dollars for the entire season of Pont, but that was twice as much as I
whatever makes those in raising and pretty exactly around, maybe the same report that was way better then yeah, you know in your travelling on. yeah, I'm starting to an? U big, your: u befriend, other models, yes yeah, and what impact that have on your self esteem. Do you cause? If you were me, I, feel like it could just as easily make it worse or better. Above it was love, It felt great to be consider beautiful. And I am not saying that that's a great thing, I'm designed a dime who gives of those I felt about it. If I may now I don't need to be all I dont get him to be told that yeah, but The tiny amounts, a luxury that can be all someone house, Does a man over this is just as true but but but just to be clear in terms like. I know, that's not that that's right, you're right,
that validation that not only the validation here you do, but at the time at the time I needed that right, yeah. So so do we considered beautiful beautiful enough to be a model. Was a big deal. The alchemy, but then there are people. Obviously, above you on this. matter again says yeah and then so that I can assume that you also Yoshida, because these people are above you what I think I mean there's. Always there is there's, always a hierarchy right, even our business right now, there's a loose believe that, even though one know what list fuck we're right, yeah, I don't care weeding out unless the mecca, I pay my birth sign. I think. Yeah there's always Agnew. No one wants to be the coolest. You know kid in the room or whatever, but I feel like you're right one as it is both things like parsley. It helped my confidence level right, yeah, I'm a model, but enough side, I thought I was still in secure. I don't care about like what I look like a like. What's with the US
I didn't really having by uniting had what was cool about models now. Is that, like you know just sort of like? What's your new, don't you have a virus, a little claim yeah. I was it. I don't care about like fashion as early honey. I wasn't Yo, individual you know are annoyed about the almost like, I'm cute makes money of that. Yes, I know you feel weird: did you do a runway ever I did. Did you feel weird is fuck yeah. Was never really good at runway. Didn't do very much me. I did some cool shows, but I was always so terrible yeah. I know I can never get over it. Just the army there are so many things I'd be happy to do in public This is so big before walking down a job, Runway, identify with eyes yourself, colleagues about how my bodies move in theory. Is haven't of learning how to literally what you do with your hands, no one's eyes wandered like I've taken acting classes. They don't tell you what the fuck did. You,
her hands ass. He considered when you're new. I do in these big distracting hand, said about my pocket. Should I crossed my arm, I remember you also saying which I pass this on to someone else that there was like the best piece of advice. If you always give really great advice, especially when it came to like acting that, you said that acting is a confidence game retain that now now, but I like you, I do in saying that a lot in that what we are acting I respond to which is like if it is, if you make me, feel confident, I'm just twenty times better ah you know, but I'm feeling like. I can't do this thing, I'm in your unhappy and I'm not doing their dance were in bad shape, so as great a vice but other people. I know weird people.
Not named rapid chaining Tatum I've been going loaded, a motorcycle track with him. He so fucking good. So quick and I'm so angry cause he's fast as shit, but he dude and he was Tom. He played football. He resolutely did all these things were people yell at you. The whole time tell your pc and that works for a while and so like he right anyway, like five motorcycle writing schools and he loves getting taught it, but whatever he noticed completely different. I we I aspire to be like that, but that's not how I e should be on beer. Girls to you know he was on their girls. Yea did like a bachelor by the helicopter. Ye should totally the add on my shot marsh on his Mush Ireland, a ballplayer he didn't, whose name isn't? Did you see that one? It was there
a best? Why was he scared disease like ease, be small but he's urbanism realities like a mother put these hands on like he was like. It was amazing. That's all you want to see Europe as these aren't. You ought to see everyone be the opposite of what you expect screeches on from saved by the bower. You want to see him. I kill a buck with his bare hands and feel dress it five seconds you. Can anyone see MIKE Tyson like crying, because it's raining I mean I don't ever want. We share he's are our favorite person right, but you should tell me- and I shall be around confidence can yet so you so you go from a modelling- and then you start acting holder, you, twenty six, probably guy and one fishers. The first big thing, and how do you get that our dish, while I met with
arms I done like this MTV movie were beyond say, claim the queen or king, be kinda, call Carmen like the hypocrisy that that the requirement like that, some of the opera corpsman, but it's like the hip hovers. Ok, I don't know I'm not. I'm not. The opera is its base up with those needs it worthy of basing the idea. And so that was at the top of two thousand and one and man hours. I play most deaths girlfriend who back and I got killed like I think, before the opening credits that movie Showtime with Robert Nero Eddie Murphy, but only with the opening, like, I think, during opening credit, I think I can get any lab, old opening right, Karl Heinz, call open. I
I was I I meant. No, you palm to be innocent. When mister you will. I met him because he was awesome Carmen two alone, but I I was going- I was taken around my agent. I was do like me. What is it general meetings and am I on the phone talk about the time the codes which ok yeah I was on the phone and curly, I or my hand, and it slipped in Bert me, for us must go out and get it for me. I had. I did a pretty good job. I read about a scar, but I had a full on were they travel very yadda. Nor do I rolled into the meaning with like a pack of ice on my face at orbit, Mps or something like that, and they were like won't Isaac. Ok, I didn't want it. See I Didn'T- want to not come right, I'm here
and so they gave me this script, for they had been made game is digging miscreant artificial. In order you told me about Agenda Washington's doings. Never what I've thought that I would have been running for really better way was I'm for additions. I got I was able to go in. I got the appointment, in an hour and then I got a call back there, that's exciting yeah and then you didn't want Fisher, yeah, and now you ve done this kind of fancy for lack of a better word movie you're, not here and unlike a fancy movie. So then, now a lot of things start opening up here. Am I right, Not that I know a lot of things. Visually wooden, who usually happens right. Like you, gonna get, you got economy, yeah, yeah, weird little things, though I was on point and then I got to being without a paddle, I'm not quite positive. How I got back. the door is open for a lot but might judge who
I had done some up said the king of the hill, but once might judge put me in a democracy now other people who love might judge like oh yeah, so then favourable gap put me in a thorough nets. I think primarily based on that he dug might judge gap will forgive our yeah. So it's weird how doors open then. So, yes, some doors definitely opened, yeah and so use are becoming wrecking Isabel yearn, honey. Putting us first thing. I knew you in his money that was next year. and now or starting to meet other famous people MS roughly around the same time, for both of us right, two thousand two, three four yeah yeah and what we both share in common is that we both slap with a lot of I would also lead to develop. Nobody may not permanent residence, but you and I have talked a lot about what he had done when you give them the opportunity young and I
speaking, speak for myself in that that work, that's an interesting whole journey. For me. One is this horny and adds awesome, and I ask you in on your horny and You may be seen them in something you already thought they were attractive amounts like you haven't. Means access. Re, like friends of a friend of mine, when an Oscar Manaos hastening right one an Oscar recently on. Unlike we can see, reason exercise. Ok, well, my proud, I might run more Nazca and, unlike dude, this is great mean aside. and the like career opportunities are open, but this is like the best dating think. Like you,
like a bring out lovers. Then, if I may not be crippled like, but do your whole access is just like you ve different access now and there's nothing wrong with that. No, there was because rock jokers mannerism always faithful as their options dangerous about that. I'm just curious again, because I've, I think we would you and I share, allow things in common in for me, there is again a morning. I've seen them for that's exciting. This is a very exciting, but what was really going on up upon closer examination is. I do never liked how I looked at those funny. I was really confident that I was funny and I could dance in those two things got me into a lot of beds. had no business being into but and I've been doing since junior high when he is a man, girls, out of my leg. If I can, if, if she likes me it open,
to me that maybe I'm not as unattractive is. I think I am because that person can begin one and a bribe me in so I must be better than I think I am right and so This is a myth. I believed in four thirty plus years until I actually woke up in a relationship with someone who I would have thought I had no business ever getting Solomon movies for years. As a kid and sad for me discovered, I don't feel any different about myself The date has a european pact on how I actually feel about myself right, which is such a fucking bomber yeah, and it took me again. I am weirdly grateful for the opportunity to have been able to prove this to myself right I got I got to be Someone then I thought for sure would solve this. For me ray. I would dare right, I'm an attractive human brain and it didn't. I thought the exact same London way when I went to brush my teeth in the morning and yeah. I'm just curious.
For you, of course, you are horny unto using any of that was going on yeah Galina. I never really thought of it that way, but it does make sense. I mean I mean I think like that means similar to like modeling. I need the validation to know that I looked. I was cute area or something, and I think that like so that at the at em at my core, but when you have a much better excuse for than I do, I just was I dont know I felt that way. Six but to white with blue eyes at the fuckin, hit the lottery. You know like white boy day all day. Every day, and yet I still feel that way. You please have these. Where you are in place, it was either all why or you're in a black community were you, you didn't fit the ideal so way by away at the core a sort of this sense of inadequacy right
No less than that we look for validation where we can get yeah, so whether it be for me, was like ok, I'm validated by the fact that I am in the beauty industry would have on validated that this guy think some key you do. You know what I'm getting at second hand arm you a couple your folks I was like goddamn joy. I took my hand Could you eat? There is a level of sophistication to do when you are hooking up with you artists. genius like like you to bang Einstein right, total India, as the UN that love undervalue area evacuating. The belief is my friend in college was Einstein basically a big he was an inorganic biochemist. I'll even know about is what exactly you didn't even find jugglers yeah, but you do
you do. I remember this is just a couple of those are the only name will say, and you didn't know what this person you did not say this person, but you just you set out of the blue one day. You're, like you know, if I had to pick from that whole crew, who I was there with a beset rogue it as I am You know you're a real you of your aid, while any Suzanne versus who was a Franco, yeah, yeah Franco's, a fucking babe. We both agree he's a bay told me, then you into this other place where what the experience is gonna be was set, and I just really- and I just only Lord and much richer experience for reasons you'd have to check on a website. I might allowing numerator gonna fix that may do so. well. You know I like you now I like to keep people there, I would never. I would never feel confident in predicting what you're gonna pick on any given thing where there is what movie you like, yeah, that's a good quality than that
another thing that you and I both shared again in twenty yeah, look kind. Now I don't I d, I'm twitter, we're friends and I met him five times. I thought for Sweden like me with any tweet. me, and then I thought maybe he did. I'm still play this game at my head of likes me. Does I now let it has less impact now, but I still go through the stairs. It's like muscle memory is point I was going through with the other day and I was like. Why does such a waste of time the fucking time, no one cares the woody doggie about loans. Thinking about you know anything about you, but you and what I have at least come to find out in this war. Come a boy talk. What kids is. I have figured out. That's nothing from the outside changes. However, on the inside it is truly at its young. It's your own journey. Until you give yourself a virtual you're, Fucked Andrews, you can't make enough money, you can't you can't win enough orgy,
fuck enough people. It is zero effect on your own self esteem, against allowing you to identify some esteem, illegal acts and do those four without immobile, and that's how you get self esteem there. So you and I both like drugs but, unlike me, you're, not an attic or by my ass. Mason you're not an act what I would call an attic. I will be but you've abused, which I love my favorite type of person. You know my best friend named Nate. Was this guy all through his twenties that he could do ever. He do coke with me, but do you go to bed at five and I'd stay up another day Ah I always applaud more actually go bizarre and is at an end that's kind of the dream scenario from this. Isn't gonna get you want. I just don't want to do in seven days and we cannot show workers here. I have to pick up here No one is denying any and all of the time anymore. Nobody would having recall-
my house, I just think about. Like the amount of time and wasted. I mean the semi have fun what I whatever some of my best memories. I regret it, but the amount of time so much time wasted of like recovering our whatever- and it's like that, fucking time in, but it's funny his eye filling one when you're young boys, when I was younger you all the time wait a minute now anywhere. You have no time, and I'm saying that, as like, I was a working. I worked all I mean what the law as a model, I wasn't like. I got a job when we once once I hit my stride, which, fortunately, for me happen relatively soon. I was working all the time, yeah. You might not have seen me shit, but I was working allowed in your zombies yourself for hours, arc, exotic and administrative board and also to live like I could sleep or not sleep and work yeah, because all that
does not look fucked up right, you're right, I don't I couldn't do that. I want to talk. Because no one cares what you say so, like you know too a man of working stand, there were the clothes and then like whatever some in their turn. If it's a great job for someone who likes drugs, railway ends its dna. Eventually we'll catch outrage, but yeah, but it's like you have. The time all the time in the world and now there is not enough time I can't even imagine the French do a fraction of the shit from back in the day, because, unlike yeah, there's no time again, no time yeah but must not unlike fucking people, I think that there is a parallel as well with drugs, which is for me for years? I thought I d like how cocaine feels like how ecstasy feels like I've been drunk
I now realise what I really liked about. Those things is how I didn't feel in the rear. Ah appeal of them was. I didn't feel how I felt when I was sober. I would like any of those feelings like there. ok highs, but I liked all those highs, the well, I didn't like was we prosaic, as it actually made me, feel even more. How I didn't want to feel gotcha, which is genetics, I think Rikers. You responded. We differently my doom boys. I love I'm a hoover with cocaine. What but yeah learnt figuring out like I just what I like does the relief from my head, which is very busy it's it's too busy in a very low voice in ahead as european shit, numerous succeed and never one thinks you're crap in Europe in a right. Do you think any of the reason is look. Somebody
like drugs in some? Don't you know, even if they try them, thereby at an out and out my opinion on those peoples. They take their normal It being is probably pleasant enough that the added that there is not relief for them. Do you think at all? Any of that was relief. I mean I like drugs like them lights. I mean also to a sort of like the the scene in the social sort of into I mean I liked your that kind of thing exactly maybe Theo cool yuck, as I was is terribly uncool size always looking for something to be cool. Yes, removed immediately, puts you on the same page as everyone else you're doing drugs with
from like you're looking at other ways that you're different from this group of people you're with or how you don't fit in or whatever, and then you start doing lines of code. And now you all have one fucking goal, keep doing those la. I were identical rights. We just want to keep this shit right. You are no right, which is nice right everyone's priority earlier, while some of US airlines more closely safe but yeah. I think that, like I can't say that, oh my, Drug use was not influenced by my lack of you, no sort of selfish You don't like that and have issues underlying yeah right, but I think that for the most part when it went to, it took to frame it in a way of like what I felt like, not high. I felt I mean I think I felt I was getting so I was escape. I was running away from anything vulgar, radio, united and early I've been thinking. I was like partying gone, two fuckin far right,
We shall do that to you right look. A lot of people do not help me healthy and have great self esteem and whatever, but there wasn't me yeah my mind was like we'll need so take fund to follow too much. You can have too much fun yeah. You really n n n N, you could die from too much fun. We know people right. I know a lot of yeah now this is a compliment. This is not a judgment. You have kind of a. U have a again. This is the wrong word, but a curated lifestyle in that you, you have like a bohemian, so when you said that it was a part of that I can see that, like all this is a component of this cool vibe. I have you no order, as my friend cause it, you live a chosen
I feel like I've chosen. Curate is the area that later choosing share out of a pile, yeah, I've, I've. I've created this life from you boys, at a specific style like a clothing style, you have had an aesthetic, that's disorders like such bohemians hats, bohemian, with a little somethin some of their Asher. This little sprinkle there's little dash that yeah we get a paper events in the years that we spend a lot of time together, like whatever that was seven years or something, you were processing a tunnel mom stuff right and that's. It To be the period, were you really kind of tackled all that needed a lot of therapy about that in so gap is it possible that maybe you were a little more abundant? You were you guys? You are in your twenty, because that would I city marijuana shellfish. I mean like, like all those things, as I say, one idea- and this is something I have to- I have
imagine for me. As I started having success, I ended up weirdly. Becoming more resentful at my dad. This is also a fact that, but for me I felt like I wanted that mail in my life I respected my whole life. Isn't then pat me on the back and is a great job son? You worked hard in I'm so proud of you, but because my dad at times, not always lovely man, was kind of using my success to get his own attention and- and I didn't respect some of his decisions with the pan on the back, didn't feel like what what I want it to feel like. I have to imagine it You have had some of that worry. You ve done all this stuff. It's really amazing, and then you dont have this relationship with your mama's, who you really want to hear lacking? Oh my god, I'm so proud of what the woman you ve become. right in even like, like like year situation with your dad, even if she did say that a month,
leave him. Vs Volta has of what they can't win now blocking out, I mean, but by at the same time, a psychic while we can watch learn to have two to truly forgive her to truly honestly, forgive her her, the things that she did and to have compassion for her and cement, the it doesn't the gate and as I like? I at times was cooler than I needed to be oh yeah, but it doesnt gay, the shit that she did didn't do yeah legitimate shit, yeah that it is hard for me at that, I'm being young woman whatever to to look past because, like thousand possible, she to look yeah right and I didn't have the tools to even try to figure that out yeah. You know. I really learned tools until it was too late. You're will, you know is interesting. The licence, eighty late, but until much later on yeah
If it's really hard to recognise that life is fucking messy in your in your parents are part of this messy life and instead, we will now now that we're all there and you go back and you got- will Jesus Christ. I'm furious at my dad for decision may when is twenty four years old to kids like if one, twenty four of my mother. Would it does me? Yes, like yeah? Did you expect animal feed? what I will do your watch Mchugh? Yes, if you re in re, make great decision right right in you, you, it's so hard to break out of your first person perspective, as my parenting is so hard at me like this on people S. No, we, like I'm very clear Otto wanna fuck and even enter into such a man like me, power that anybody who and I hope that people when you do not care that you take that seriously. You work on your shoes, so you know Rohingya kids at you, but even still the best intentions, saw you're gonna fuck up, even if only because you want, because your human
life is enabling Vanessa. But that's like that's a job that you should be issued by a conscious like this, is in your number one job issue: number one drawn area, an area. again. Their daily luxury now have kids, probably death Many people who don't know David, Duke reproduce, but I wish that that so over the years, I loved argues. You know I loved it. I'd say about. I could as it happens, a lot of debate, but I love to argue as argued. I loved argue, and and I got to say that you are there any other person has dramatic, ironically, one some long term debates all I know I know one and one that is you there's a few Wikipedia dangerous think what I appreciate you, because it's wonderful to have zoning your life that
who's your on opposite him? You ve done that a few times in some landmark case set up at the annual and you also made up to come over. You know what you're doing Then in the moment, it's always like, I think about it, for a candidate and that's ok, yeah, and I hear all like repeating my own opinion to me and I go on it does smell. That's that's nice, yeah, yeah yeah instincts or just your trapped in your own perspective, which is almost impossible not to do right now So one of the long term debates we had was about. Chris Brown has ay was so. I read about Chris Brown. I want to find him and fight him. I couldn't say enough bad shit about Chris Round and you pointed out that the reaction was lapse I didn't write. You are obviously not condoning any domestic, allow him yeah yeah, but but but you I said this guy's a fucking pieces.
Yet Bob line you're like yeah, he's a piece of shit but he's no bigger a piece of shit than the countless white due to young caught beating thereof, or doing other type shit they get like shows and movies and yes enriches yeah yeah in and then an ice tried to say all. I think it's a lopsided reaction because we all or you love Oriana like for me now. I love Ryan and see her face afterwards, sent me into like a fury right. I love her too but then you pointed out that these are just public knowledge cases. This, isn't it sides, our guide were even blow my small enterprises, I'm crazy. You say the crazy, Charlie, sheens million runs to all our guy I'll write one or two people yeah
and then brawling right has been are rarely yeah. You know, as yours went back and lawyer as he has been an hour, and you know what I want is about domestic violence right, but now we see that there is a whole other. There is a whole other lots of shit going on of of of of white dues behave barely, although now we're seeing as I just. Why do? Obviously that was the little man and machine or men and boys and in their body it's called testosterone, sir. Yeah lawyer with Ivy League reminded, but yeah you pointed out that there were like well when I said Rinaldo Magnano, we already love Rihanna you're, like will judge Braun was he was married, did Diane Lange and it is I who in India You love her right in what he had its cherry. Rightly outsiders, yeah. I love her in that spirit that I guess we're saying when I really like. all did over four days at a time I was like I dont. If I'm being
honest with myself. When I picture Josh Braun he's an actor. I love. I don't see him the way I saw Chris Browning when I pitcher, Carla Jean. I got all that's that's one foot, guy libraries are the honour, their heads off about yeah, it's a whole persona, but no iii b upturn, who I love. Personally I love and then she's been honest about that he's gonna, in your right man. I really it's way easier for me to see Chris Brown as an actual like a bad person where's I'll, give everyone this spectrum, although like oh yeah, he now Sancho, does to me drunk There is always a brain which, by the way, I believe is the right perspective. In general, just people are fucking good or exile, evil or or Thrace
Oh yeah does have the sort of binary way the sad people do get things get people do bad things and in everything in having Lulli right in and are fighting off on a tangent, I think, what's crazy is we are getting into this world of binary opposition right words now good or their evil, and then what What we're gonna do is is if someone does something bad, we're gonna lose everything great, that they do yeah, so Martin Luther King, he had orgies, they were recorded by FBI, there's no heat. Well, they might a room Don't worry I'm, although he deals that yeah yeah yeah, it wasn't my life's savings, we're gonna, I wouldn't that be generally like pussy. Would we rob ourselves of the civil rights movement, on his him. You don't aim or J F K who was fuckin, white House staffers in the hotel pool
deny ourselves. J F K. It is all very Botswana saying yes or no on saying is. While this is a tricky, situation, where we're talking about this lot, throwing the baby out with the bath there's a lot of gray. There's someone there is more great than there is blacker, yeah yeah! Definitely, and it's it's very hard for us there is a crisis areas like a Finn sliver Black and their rest is shades of gray. I like in a lot a grain of charcoal Grena, gives us anxiety because an hour to come up with a framework by which were goin to evaluate all the end in areas and then administer some kind of punishment, and that I think just that alone is too daunting for people. So it's just almost at a lazy now that we have to go good or bad good or bad yeah, and you know it's hard fucking work, but that those those distinctions just have to be. Well, I mean going back to our parents, for instance, right leg. For so long I saw my mothers being a monster yeah, I'm going off of I'm just going off of
what I saw in my experience, which, by the way she was only when you watch him percent of her life. So you're also seen ten percent of your mom right sure that with you, ninety percent of the day right but like gone of experience and what I see and when I hear some- and so based on that its it. Fair to assume why we think that she was a monster regimes eventually have whenever right. But when I got when I got older and started a sort of sea? All that, like ok, we'll see? Was that way because of also saying so she was fifteen. But how was your dad so relevant. Listen what you wrote about. He was not fifty he realized in the major lorries. I don't know the exact age. Was he was he was that he was a married man with children? Ok, yeah, he wasn't it. in that when you think about that scenario of like a fuckin, do with kids in a wife, not
another eighteen year old mother was based fat and trauma for Har Homa, her whole life, but I did not know that yeah. So it's like Finally, I would urge you knew it. It's not discern you won't, even when I found out because of where I still have the tools to deal with her and you know so it still didn't really it mattered, but it didn't really. Yes, there was unable to cope with with all her. Yes, oh, but as I got older, and learn the tools. Re then odyssey. Ok, yeah. She dead dead at at at at at at all, but she did that become so there like a wasn't. She wasn't just evil for evil sake. You know, Now, that's where I could it be. I could have easily have you know, so It does not allow their sides are really embrace a sort of greenish of things. Yan, I also got you noted, is I think, a lot of you Our time doing this is they have a hard time distinguishing between an explanation in an excuse
so like wind Tiger woods went on tv and said I had all these affairs or what and I'm a sex attic people said: oh, that's a fuckin excuse and I was like no hold on he's at it's Sunday. he's he's just explaining to you what's happening right. You know that's my take away from the whole sooner, but likewise with your parents. I know that when I heard the explanation of why my dad was the way was, I was hearing excuse, and I was the idea that we are getting exactly you're gonna see Karami example got an example game. I agree to do all this shit. I agree, but now later on, like Ahmad it as it is actually one nation yeah yeah. I know that I don't need to own up to this or I'm not sorry, yeah, that's not what I say is going out to sea. No, here's how I got to this point array terrible and I only Ray and here's how I got here writer interested and I am interested in why how you got that right,
but you gotta yeah, you gotta, you gotta have a good heart right. Let in buddy. Fritz Braun was was was a good one, which I totally was wrong government will there was an end I leading up to this. I was trying to recollect my actual argument: my arguments goes on so socially right now, but because this is all I really remember about it, but the year in which there are tons, outraged that there weren't more black nominated for the war yeah yeah here is my take in them. try to get it. I get where you point out how shit what about theory? This is our number one in here As my argument, you can't black mean
this I'm addressing everyone is accurate. You can't be angry that there's no Oscar nominated black directors, writers, actors, films, films, because you don't. You can't just be mad- that that that they're not nominated if you're not supporting the type of movies and projects that get nominated. So in that year you had concussion which was fucking, brilliant and it made five dollars. And then you had a Medea movie that made a brazilian dollars, and I was saying well if you're gonna just go to, Medea movies, they're, not gonna, make the concussion movies. That's that's! That's them can exert what you're going to take us is not necessarily a like it's not but the book. Was one of the main complaints of why heating get nominated. That was That was all I m sure you will regardless he's. Definitely in that conversation rare, so my point was you can't not support those type of movies,
be mad, they're not getting made and then mad that their people in them are not getting nominated like you can only blame other people so much for the what's now happening way. downstream. The ward is so downstream. There was already a movie made. There is no Europe with something else, though. No, but you had another point, two you remember a point that I remember your point was like well you're, not like. I don't remember anything you just get out now. I can that doesn't make sense by well no exact all knowing What did you, because you have a vague, knock out possible? Able as a thing which I have even tat? Is you go way? playing on these movies that are not like, alpine organisers of those values that our minds, but you I thought your other point was the black usages, never dynamic. It wasn't me with no, it was not like about like what. You know this will be in the bed the market, an
the audience and note that these move, like kind of these movies, perform better or some. Might that not, though, might was again, why is mostly is going to see the fucking King speech right well that when they did, but so a lot of other ladys in an NGO see Moonlight bidding goes see when I'm online is as black while not billion on Saint there's, always a way movie, let em l, Abbadie exact, I laid eyes on it solely because they are not made to make money there may for pursuing made for reason of sort of prestige, not gonna, think they make money. Graham you they will. Then she make money. Both languages even be more honest there. All made with the hope by the guy who or woman who bets on that movie, that the star power we'll take it out. The genre and it will make money. So it is, it is a leap of faith they dont than they actually do believe or we're gonna cast Brad Pitt him babble. So it will. big money, even though ergonomic barely unknowns can see babble, but we put Brad Pitt in it than they will, whereas that's a tricky or bad with Denzil Washington Beak. Are these about example, because white folks go see his mood
crazy, but you do not make that. Well, I think the whole idea of sort of whose who mean something who doesn't mean because you can still put a that's. Why the whole I mean, I think, there's certain people there's not as many people that poor people and to see that their use of all not at all, not at all, like the whole idea of like all this person doesn't mean anything person means have been like you can put that white stars, I'm sure and people still hang onto the legacy that has emerged with somebody else. Weirdly done those one. Maybe the only people still people go see that fuckin movie for the most part, It seemed a man Johnson, nobody but doing Johnson a movie ways, not kickin someone's ass. At some point, I don't think I mean I think that he's actually I mean he's. I think, he's like these pretty industry I think he's gonna. I dont think you could put him in a drama that you know what he's got cancer are now, I resolved- and I don't want him to be a dozen be heard from the shape for that role by fighting. I think like at the end of daddy, The core that is basically will resign, as I like. The fucking cried
area as soon as we differ from black evil, and it is for Whitey Bali, where we will indeed go go. When I make this link bullshit a movie you knowing as even and then I was we got, jumped to whose well miles. I find my crazy. Doesn't it doesn't sell overseas? You, Bosnia's. I was even made a leg. So again you're. You really really want that. I don't you ever they made the point. You thought I was making. What is the point you think I was making I thought no more about it for some other. You meant more like international or sort of like people going to see or like movies of movies. Before we were well what what? What? What does not you know you show up, I don't think an eternity Try not to talk about movies as black movies white movies. Try to get away from my even less what the industry like sees it as but like lab. You will go short for some shit. We may well, though chauvinism share, makes some share that we want to see.
Sure what yes, but but up so yes, but what's unfair about that, is the people that the movies that people shocked to see are generally moves are nominated, thereby way was not even as regards what is lacking wider, whatever likeness the site, but does not the one who is so give me. Oh yeah, I mean it is hard to make a moving regardless rang it simply man, even if you are why? But yes is easier, one amendment and then you- and I am talking about this in this- is I feel like a good time to bring this up. Is this term white privilege I've I've first and foremost completely understand and believe that we can? Thank you Where are we went, sought to live Kelly? How you gonna have among you shall, I hope, to even
ask him. If you are going to be all memory, I just gotta call this faith now. He when we saw him on stages he which I thought was cause he goes, will. First of all, let me take my privilege, I'm a man, that's a big when, for me, I was born in America. That's a huge win for me right and he gonna go through, which I thought was. The reason I think that the term white privilege why it so easy to want to fight back from that. If your wife is nobody's life feels privilege, no one feels like their life hasn't been a struggle on. So I am born on a dirt road dislikes. All these things like to me, it is felt like a struggle, I'm so long as a human being now right, but by the humans. Your raised its eyes, it I'll do it. It does because by Europe
a person who grew up under port row. Don't don't road in this it is even worse, is a lie, different cause. They don't have that saying that level permanent absolutely, but I do believe if you're a white, woman in a trailer right now, a five kids in Tennessee realignment. Personally, I hope that your white privilege ray, I can see where you go, fuck, that what privilege this is a shitty exists, where's my inner yeah yeah. It is true. I am not denying that this huge advantages. When every system in the countries run by white people, there is no denying that, but it's just a tricky term. I think it's a it can be a triggering term, because we all kind of feel like I've spoken hardness struggle, brain but It's not as part of struggle. You I'm saying I was wish it was like. I wish. The term was less shitty I guess you you ve been away from laxity. Yet what I may I see your point and then I can say yes, if someone who
it is a white woman with with a bunch of kids low income. Yet how how my visits by state we're gonna limited for. Let's look at the wheel Pretty knows, but little guy in a way that slightly knows not about like what necessarily comes right into your pocket like you're, not like walking. Oh yeah, I'm privileges. I can privileged amuse you're born with a trust fund which is like you're right. Let's see ye see we have. Start to think of it in a more nuanced way. Right, because what I am critical of the world. I think there's a better word for this. What what is a very true value? nation of America? I feel like there's a better word in there could be, I think them. for lack of a better word. That's where we are right, and I think that, like about away from your perspective, it is straight privilege, but again going going to that would tell it was saying, The key you went down like IE sucks, so he's able bodied, that's privilege right he's a man he's heterosexual. May I altered motherfucker? he's talent, any group and so he's recognising irons were professor, yet so he's recognised, so he's educate, so he's recognising.
the privileges and how that doesn't mean that, like he had so, he does have a an advantage. Sure when you look at those values right and so in on your phone ring, no boy, it's what it is right so like for me myself, I'm privilege that you know I've benefited from being light skinned, That does a privileged area that that, like that's, not something that I might go yet that provide much unaware that pledge on my thing, but that's what I mean. I am aware that like to be within a race. System, more or white, says wise up like that. That has been that currency in some way, rather than on a war that so you are aware of their unaware that right, but how much? How often? Are you in your, like your writing yourself narrative? This is my life I came from here. I ended up here. I did these things. He did that thing. How much are you
thine well, and I had a. I had a little advantage and then I was light scheme that actually party you're thinking when you're telling your own story, you know why, yes, it has to be, it is us because it means that, if a conscious decision- but it requires an awareness of the fact that, like I exist, not just not I'm here, not just because of town in my work, I think there's other things that played into it the same way that why that would view, for instance, like is not you're, not you're here, because talented you're funny. all these things right and then then the thing that kind of helps you over adds that euro. Why dude? Why wait? A year I had a sexual man you're able bodied. These are the privileges that you and others not being like. Oh that doesn't make you re says it doesn't make you home a photo knowledge that you ve had certain advantages that push you over the end where a lot of people who don't have that so it's like by you having those those privileges.
It was believed we view youth. You know even joy did army me like I'm enjoying my privilege, but it's like these. Its helped us. Yes, while it is unaware of that, it is now something I think about when I'm kind of giving circular in an argument right in and I'm not finding my my furious finding purchase one the cases was and we're not gonna use names, but a sexual harassment case. That's currently out there about a dude, and I said to you you don't know what has happened to me rare. It won't bother me right right. By hook, I wouldn't give a shit but then I remember I'm six, three m. Why I dont regularly feel power. This is not a normal feeling for me to feel like this system rise against me right. So I I of course I love you. I can laugh things off as I am not prone to feeling power yeah and that's important for me to remember- and it's fucking hard to remember, garage
out your own window and that's ok, because this is not going to be. We can't like neatly unpack all these things going messy and it's like yeah. There is probably a better word for participants. This is like its new people to recognize that we, I'll have none of us by many. Those are some of us have certain advantages and privileges. and acknowledging those things does it so again the, poor white woman would with with children, we know with kids living in a trailer. Ah, you know still white data. So, like those ourselves, your land is again back. That's different from a black woman with five children. That's another jerk. We don't even like that other tens. Is it worth that's like cell janitor, insider Madison Square Garden. Remember that media is the universities like there's a white Jane they're inside here medicines where guards that would not?
trade voices with me, you're rats he's like the others plays out be, and why does everything is done about like fools? Whose pain is whatever it is recognising, even if you are not benefiting cause. That problem is not the fact that, like why preventive work out for psych he's a victim of a capitalist system more so than anything, recognising that, even if you are not, reaping the rewards of your privilege, like in a minute? tangible way that is putting money in your pocket. It has really what we all trying to get down to write still benefit from that by by your very existence, using anyway, if anything is so that we have to kind of broad and r r, r our awareness yeah on what that means. amen? Sadly, it's all its theirs so many layers like what you end up doing. Is you just getting further and further upstream? So it's like, I was it would Balin I wear a few years
I was making more movies than she was making movies, but based on really nothing, and so we were talking about then and she's like maybe you're paying you mark? Is your man and I said well, but I also walk away from offers nine negotiate. Harder than you do, which is a very male thing. The new right so part of it is yes they're. Just gonna they're gonna try to pay her as little as humanly possible. so some of its incumbent on her to take a harder fine, we'll walk away from shit, but that's a very that's a very male female thing, and it is unfortunate that I go even further upstream and I go it's not fair that this worlds constructed in a way we're, she would have to act more like me to get equal written in pay. Elena he's going backwards right. What are you? You got a demand more and those who have all the other visitor facade of that is that, like then, that's what the onus on the victims with us when the onus on the the least advantage to advocate for them? Is that now mind your yes? There?
certain things that we we do have to be better. Advocates for ourselves in general. You re humans, bites, it takes the it takes a responsibility of the powers that be USA, so it's a while you have to be the best advocate. Also systematically? system itself, measles, chain change. So if you can be your best advocate a sometimes you're gonna have to take less, because this is what it is whatever you can decide I walk away or not whatever, but like. I will get more like mad at the system. The fact that she ass you like gotta, go that rule. There is not only more readily winnable its colleagues, because Yahoo you have to start by going they're gonna try to pay all of us. The least amount posse out so that down and specially black. I mean people of color and I'm glad that's coming up into the conversation because I was there was a talk about a lucky
like well known secret, Elise amongst us what we were doing paid less than usual. What happens a lot of white even with the same or less credits than we were yes after Rio, and I'm a victim of this or not a victim of this? I Elaine. I willingly do this myself, which is you go. Oh Obama was elected. So I have an example of black folks saving in a manner that now I don't have to think about it and then what's been well known for years- is that some of the biggest movie stars have been blocked for the last thirty years and they ve got the biggest page Eddie Murphy Denzil. All these so you just go other pan black folks the same because the ones that are getting the most noise are outrageous, paycheck rain. So I'm actually not thinking about with joy brains, making parenthood verses what long grounds making or any one else more just even than bringing down just generalise. What? Ah vis actress over here
making verses. What Angelina Jolie, just because, like this woman, is making this motto money or that yeah exactly or their good aright peanuts. Its again, that's the one percent right. Yes, yes, your hearing the exception, yeah because the exception makes a headline. Yes, all I'm really aware of Oh I remember, haven't a conversation with actor front. Emma with a mind like over five years ago. We were talking about you know the black rate, which I will use the word that music, just gonna go. You will soon as them I had another by we were how we neither and it was well both of us at that ovens appointed done some good. stuff in your word known, visible enough. Neither one of us had power to really come out and call that shit get what you got a pal raise with you, what you want
so we will have the power to actually arm publicly expressed that there is a pay and equity going on between artists of color and white artists rights with sometimes the same or less credits you like her down not even like an exaggeration. It's not like. I wonder now, but like objective yeah like that person did not do as many things I do. What, if I go to work on this and make it more than me, we all know why. Yes, and so we were saying how it would take someone with a bigger name to really mountain say that, while the the bigger name a making where we make a right I'm not going to sign. It arouses ray. You know like megabit, eleven bubble of lava like those we are not going to talk about that. We were doing good inevitable doing we were doing bad but already, but we're we're getting as much as what you are white counterparts. No, and of course there are people making weighing less than ah yes right for any day now we flies board
later, where I think Viola Davis might have been the first person to really bring up the pay inequity amongst artist. Color verses white like the first one, and now we can talk about it right because now are also talking about a jet yields, the pain. but he has it as it applies to women young talk about that now now again is a much more complicated conversation that anyone is having what the pen I'd have TAT Bell here. To explain to you about it. Could she got up in front of that was really vocal about that, but then it it's a much deeper, deeper deeper issue than just it's. Not black and white women are making less the man, it's very calm. whilst all complicated yeah yeah, but there is no you really currently or maybe a very general and I felt like this- there is really no road. That is the middle right. That is like there's issues on all sides of this
very one, we really want there to be a good guy in a bad guy in all these debates, and we want the bad guy to change, but it all has to evolve like everyone in all science has to evolve. I think I think that, like their death, evolving, there's a different levels of consciousness, any that they need to happen this. Why, like all these conversations that we haven't, even though some time decide, you know it's mess or are we know about. Racism were sexism, whatever its messy or a sort of like you'd, put pension goes want you, don't we try to retract? We go through this face right, try figure out like a wave. Forward and until there is more on diversity in general, in terms of behind the camp of in terms of like the people, the system, the system whether is like as gender racial at whatever that's Then we're gonna really start to see some change, but like a tar- and you actually spend this memory sameness like tat, molecule, Huta Fucks, going up there
our does. Anyone you and I had, and it's like no one's gonna, just love- you aren't gonna like willingly, give it their power right. They have to be sorted out, held accountable or have their there there their feet held to the fire. By that the issue is that, like a does too well. Yeah does take white hairs draw dude because is there control everything think too, and it takes people like you like, for instance, like your director yeah. So how can you ah, you neither amounted to about you, and I am already, but what you gonna do that. However, couple fights your husband I have a lot of fights to have. When I direct a movie, I have a lot of fights. I have to fight for an editor I had to fight for production designer. I have to fight for my brain budget. I have to fight for all these things and then we get a fight for key asked why maybe have in me eight fights to win, and yes, if I a prioritized me selfishly whether making the movie I wanted to make or an obligation
You made by the way my movie with super black white, his manic everything. Just by made in Burma in front of the council about the entire scope. Here I think the only what my production designers, palestinian Everyone says it said it was able to say that, like all those complicate the those things, are true but a site. It takes people who have some power at some particular time to make choices and duty things differently than before, so that's making sure that your or your sat come. I am. I am talking about in front of me. I was somewhat like just the lead up to that is to make sure that there is there that that your set in the movie is that you Who is, but you telling the people who were there to do the vote you tell him, do it makes or that Hiram this is of from Peru is lake in some fifty four. I was but like there's. That needs to be some parodied unease in terms of gender race,
he also so that you're, so that you are actually being a part of this. Lucian more by now, you almost need to witness it. It might offend you almost need to witness it to realise, because what you'll start thinking or I start thinking is- and I think you and I debated this in the past- is it's interesting- that everyone's concern that there be lets a black folks or fifteen percent of population numbers that they should? please be fifteen percent directors right, we'll no one's talking about making sure that fifteen percent of craft service or fifteen percent of electrical- and I said it's crazy every wants to start the very top, but no one's, even at the bottom rung to work their way up the chain I ain't in in. I think I was critical that, why is it anyone like no one fight to be a fucking gaffer? They just want. straight, I'm gonna fight to be a droll now and I'll give you a little are fundamental. Eleven is rising and other people yea El Camino Christmas yeah Lack Director, David Tauber and by
There were a lot of black folks officer, nice onset and also other are more black people that do all those jobs and I'm aware of right right, because I'm only on the sets Emma I warn against women, you know so yes, so they think that their operating they meet the opportunities to two then rise at present. Think about leg. The eighty department, rapier Lake, you come up. You hire more The income than income is indirectly night. Does a chain that things they the chain or or electrical or or transpose hair make up like it needs to be more reflective was going on rail, and so everyone can do anyone with any a mouth. our leg on. We have to sort assess when we're United creates whenever we as recent upper jaw, what have they hung with my power, dynamic, yummy Walter? You know, I want to say
some that Balin I often have debated at home. It actually requires that you break out of the paradigm that there are a finite amount of Greece, horses Yazzi. This is what you like the early motivation system in America right when we had a gold standard. There is a finite amount of gold, so what you end up doing as you keep revaluing the dollar against the gold, but you're dealing the finite amount of something inside the economy, actually can't expand into oblivion, because we are locked into this finite concept of gold and it wasn't until the civil war when they started issuing money that wasn't locked to this finite amount that the economy explodes, and I realize o everyone can have a lot if we break this idea that there's this we're all fighting over this tiny bred in so Bell will go, but we can pay that person this and then this person,
because then you know, I don't know how she always says it, but basically and I'll say to her now everyone really in theory can be millionaires like. There is no limit. It is when we re assess how much shit there is for all of us right. You get a break out of this notion that if I, if what else comes up? I'm not goin down right out exactly yeah, not give it yes, the goal. Isn't the goal is for everyone to have white privilege right, not not for you to lose your white privilege for everyone I have the same privileges you I mean I wouldn't I you just say I wouldn't I wouldn't phrase it as everyone. How can I don't know I mean monthly would have it would have something to say that I would want to have white privilege. I feel uncomfortable when I see was last year whatever. Whatever advantages you have is there because I have some kind of managing life re everywhere to have the immense now allow me to have less. I dont think the goal be for me to have less opportunity. I think the goal should be for everyone to have the exact
in great opportunity that I think that is the american ideal is for everyone to have an opportunity and have the equal access it. Just like people fucked it up along the way. Yes, it is easy to think that all the time in order for Zobeide and come on. I got it, I got it just now. I mean that's, that's that's that's the problem I think with like yours. We haven't. We are then I go why the goal should be for me to give something up. The goal should be to give every body this great thing. I have right, that's what yeah yeah, but it's it's it's. It requires the total shift. Unthinking yes, and not feel threatened that like that, just because there's people with you know who are looking for, that means I listen then, the day
you won't get some jobs and you're not gonna, get some jobs running. I should do it nothing because this is the way that the bar that that it, that it goes, but you should not have an unfair advantage to getting those jobs and then be mad when the other wanna come around their job, because you ve even joy. That advantage. That's not that's, not cool, so I think that's where For me, like one eye, look out just talk about this business right and I look out You know people anybody who has any type of power, especially if your white guy and especially your mail, I feel like there are things that you can do that. fuckin like give a fuck middle finger to this system, really start to make things more equitable. You can't shoulder everything sounds like all. You have to have this court no, but is sort of like you know, friends
Thank you now, working on a show where it's about women- right and there's not one onset, but there's only handful of women of Color problem. You don't really like that international law and lets say this. This is why this is a very hard problem to tackle, because all these people are needed, but the people who are currently in power. Also should be writing their story, which is tricky. I should write my stuff in arms in it all. Let's just over the very first rule, of writing in some regions? Tell what you know how to tell your story. So it is eight it. It is a trap in a cycle, that's very hard to break, because currently the people who have the ability to get something made are telling their story, which is normal as their store, isn't female or their story is black or their story, isn't hispanic it's their stories, that's all
Do you see what I'm saying is. What we need is more of those stories. We need more blacks whereas we need more female stories when you not even out, but even but the thing is even on a story that is toll from our white projecting, aren't signals doing the blackest movies, which is ironic none of my points, as is now much right, bothers storytelling per se, because, like you're telling a story from a wider perspective and a white street male perspective. That's ok! I'm talking about behind the scenes? You know me all. The gap is being why I'm sorry, you only transport, albeit one, that's enough- that look you're getting on with our story honour on talking about I'm talking about the the above, the line yeah I mean, but only in these, if it's like the problem of Lack of inclusiveness is a pervasive problem throughout the EU tyre industry, so we were tongue, Malea, arose dogma directors. What about black up until my golfers? I'm shouting about that, because I can step on it. Geography,
on a job where it were like immodest up to me. If I may, again, which is light. Let's get out of my way, which I should I gotta go out of my way to go like. Are there any black electrician options I can interview you know like yeah I mean, does require Mcbride unconscious Leyla mining, exactly yeah exactly and enable it will require. Until is a part of that like like your ear That's a party or shit like this is what I want me like look every morning. Behaviour do ever do not Vernon is a great example. Of course they think they ve done. these that show that, like when women are You know in positions of leadership in people, they're gonna be more women that right, so she, she's. What MRS anymore, it's my have more energetic perry. She's also blood was to have more diversity ratio or ethnic diversity is like, but we have make a commitment as not just you know, it's all of us right so like
especially if you have that power. So it's like you just it just takes a little bit more effort to build. to consider outside of what we are all equal. Let us make sure that for John racial, an egg I never like that. We have a ah m as diverse team as possible, and it's got a conscious decision has not yet have sufficient and chile until eight. Until now, until it's not like nothing's going to change until people do, that yeah if there is not that many black directors would, if I don't do it right, right, yeah. So you know, what's his talk, really quick before we go about? One of our very are less important debates on race. Which, when you purchase an automobile, oh come on!
are just an automobile and sign up. We make a down payment and then you are required to make a monthly right. You're gonna hear what you say: Coronel is called car. No, so many things that joint more days is our house now you're how's, that I'll give you know, how will I Gruber that right now is down in Detroit a lot, and I was really do a lot of fun and black cloak wheels and one of them being carnal- and I said the joy you know not. A single white person in America knows what the FUCK car notice and she's like no that's, not true, and then you that every white person on parenthood and airline harlots Carnea, like some you leave on the herd as you are in the rocks, and then I hasn't lifelines we're like nice caught in a conference like here, but you know who grouping
I d give rural can now she's like they didn't safer and guides sitting up in the yeah. I mean you're. Ok, I know I still are now remain and lilies like when you come back is much better than a car payment notices cells, but more civilised. So when you tell other black from so why people call car payment, at least that makes sense right, you're the goods of car payment. When I, when I try to explain what would be car note Carnea, what is the no part, what does it even more sophisticated way, elevated without eyes, elevated way? Why does want to publicly thank you for always having these? its we ve had over the years and feel like him, I saw that my intentions were good and my fear and always be patient, and, Let me come to and by the way I don't know with joy and a lot of these things. There is some I haven't come around you I would
good and healthy, and I love it right and you don't have to listen to this discussion and then we sit with China, yeah. You don't listen! If what a year from now, you like you know what you were right about now: yeah yeah yeah we're gonna! Do you know, I think a lot of this is is what your self esteem level is in, how you feel as a person that you don't always feel attacked in defensive erase. Will you you have admirable self esteem. I've always been attracted that parliament yeah. I think you like you know what light lane. Your in you, you have your thing. You design clothes. You play the drums, you right, you know you, you know the things that you want to do that fill up the well right and, as we both said, we both are in a great pity
and that we can do these things that fill up the well inside and so I'm lucky as hell. I have a lot of great stuff in my life. If I'm wrong about this debate, my self esteem is not a hinged on that and that's a really privileged place to be- and you know I wish everybody really. What I wish is that everyone had that. That would be nice because then we could all here this shit Now I am defensive and not feel like were under attack. He also? Because you can't think we can't really change anything. If we don't have these discussions right, yeah ends and it's a luxury to have them. Saint, like its. It is, but there also it's like its, but it's not that it's like its vice All that is necessary. We have is that we have here. I don't it's a luxury to have a conversation on a correct myself it's a luxury to be in a position where you can hear all sides in your now: you're, not scratch and for your life to keep your head above the outer. Like that's nice, if I had, I get
think about whether a meaning, organic food or not organic food or like what a luxury first half an hour, I'm thinking about like a thousand now really live now calories. Seven eleven has two hot dogs for one hundred and twenty nine I'm doing that for its first twenty five years on the live, and now I might wait, do I feel different when I eat better stuff, what a luxury but I love you so much. I let me tell you everything. I hope you big and if you're so blest, that you and I got to be married for fear Marty Labor, was my tv combat. I will
stay tuned. If you'd like to hear my good friend and producer Monica Patman point out the many errors in the pot kiss you just get physically, the. I would imagine this would mean Monica admin welcome you're here, once again to Buenos Aires. I made in my previous conversation with Joy Bryant, yet where their many there were ok, not many, not as many as I would have expected for that conversation. Kazoo got dangerous at many intervals were used here for me a couple times. I was scared for myself a couple rally either
yeah and I'm always cross the line a couple times to probably don't think you're you're honest when you said that Jeffrey Dogma grew up. Thinking has Mama's sister, but it was TED, Bundy, TED Bundy. a great TED Bundy. Is there in again navigate granular, but I do believe I said someone like yeah, ok, great ISA, Jeffrey dominates as well as on money like those wanted I illegal, and then I and then I said that our good friend from a few good men was a serial killer and he's not the actor. Oh Jack, nipples, yeah Jack Nicholson no! No, no you didn't say was this there was the eyes at zero. You She said that he also thought his mom, oh yeah, sister, and also to oh, that's true. He thought his mom was his sister. He thought
You see you me, you need that kind of shit, your background to be a good actor yeah. I need some stuff, so it makes me were in Russia, but I have some stuff so there, oh ok, see brought up the government, cheese and the government. Pork end- and you said you didn't know the bran, but the brand is lakeside foods that makes the government pork and you are right. I found a big. picture of it with an outline of a pig you add, has its like it more like a silhouette. It's the ads coloured in yeah. I'm so glad that you confirm that, because that is certainly something that I was eleven when I would look at that yeah I could have well. You largely imagine that really stamped in your brain kazoo or those very accurate yet grows. Huge can huge and it doesn't have a paper note. Those who know me know I'm a tank, yep amethyst labelled pork with juices.
I've got a lot of people just extracted those juices and made like us to make up cork two men had been named made a superior strength. Encarta designated. Ok, so then you have a discussion about wailing, Jennings but our aim himself, a native American and he'd, be, I don't think, he's just appropriating map because he spent a lot of time with them. Ah, the Ho Indians and he would make him away mirrors in dollars worth and who had make re or stops on the reservation, and you spend a lot of time with them. So I think they probably just just gave him that name and designate give him an already, maybe I'd know geological claim derives its an affinity for the culture but when he does thing in that song, America all Marlborough, others already why'd. You move to an red man is right to expect
too little from you promise. some men follow to America calling on America to follow through on their promise, yellow red man. His words, not I now I'm rather night. I worry that sounded racist. I guess he could cause they are best friends and the Seventys and I'm sure it was that the best thing you could say that he was trying to be healthy withdrawn. His heart was pure yeah. I think he went. I read is autobiography again I'm here seven more hot water in amazement. Remember this miss me remember this, but I do think in his biography when he quit cocaine, he went the desert in his motor home with a ton of cocaine and stayed out there did it all and then squid call Turkey, and I think he might have been a reservation when he was in his modem on quitting cook that make sense. They really embraced him. Yeah yeah
ok, so then you guys have discussion about eating disorders and different races. Animals Anorexia possess what you are talking about, specifically: ok, I'm sorry eating disorders in general, are of similar rates. They appear at similar rates and in I raised at ease: yeah, ok, Agnes. It is even though the common misconception is its white. Straight away on white peeps alarm, and actually believe me is more common in the African American. Yeah we're just sort of goes against the E Europe. yeah, but it is interesting. where did you find that did that I found it national eating disorders, dot, Org, ok, we,
Certainly I ran toward the door again. I trust and work address. I trust all orbs, ok Stanford is not all pass fail classes. Are past fair. Like what they did. The g, the block of Europe or classes. You know it said it says all courses for meaning firstly, requirements, including general education requirements, must be taken for a letter grade oh, maybe your majors pass through the most departments limit or do not accept c r and see that's Pascal notation for horses for credit within the major requirement. Ok, so really not very many at all, probably honor
It's weird. I think there were two, maybe at some point, but it didn't say anything about that, but on the current stand for website David Duke has two children. You said you didn't know if he had any children, and I just want to clarify that he has two children to girls, Obama power. They are they have they distance themselves from dad? They embraced that I didn't. Let them know that I can t I lay there there there there are with us there lay in a dilemma you now and I'm sure, if their millennials at injector is one of the many things person I debate all the time, which is, I understand, familiarly familial piety. I I understand sticking by a flawed parent. I kind of understanding to understand it and we debate what we do with our child was Syracusan, unlike a tighter
I would take her somewhere and Heiner. I will not turn around and we differ on that day ass. He had a hot button topic. I think she would hide her eye nor think Chemin relay that she wanted, but would knowing how well it depends on how much damage she was doing and if she was gonna, keep do Yes, you wouldn't allow her to keep murdering now, no, no, no! No, nor would I nor die, but I would get her out of the country and hide her, but what if she is like
golly I, but I need to do. I would let her letter hunted Dear Fair, handed her some ok and I want to clarify. Has this came up? Martin Luther king did have an orgy that was recorded by way of Viagra. Yeah it's it was. It was released in an FBI document that have like allegations of his sexual misconduct. That day They declassified, I guess when they were trying to figure ass if by the J of CASE Ass, a nation right, I want to say, was like five years ago. I remember seeing in the news. According to the thing eyes, I was reading the Trump Administration release this epoch
I thought is fundamental for a really make sense and I ran it yeah he they had an orgy. He had an orgy, but he would have orgies at Lake Workshop saga, spiritual working, yeah, yeah and then you said, are you you didn't know how many, how what the percentage of african american population exists in this country where well point three twelve point: three air! That's Ah that's all yeah recurred Argive Annex VI, so as lies, I said I was a little nervous. I would end up out on a limb What are you? Are you nervous about presided? Usually when I'm debating race with somebody you, your of indian descent, uranium you're, fired, It's from India, your mother, also,
values three and in the end we were taught We were debating. I will regularly get super self conscious, like oh, I went too far. Always in the merger going too far, and then I could see myself going. Oh fuck, I just went too far. That's I'll, be racist and then now I'm gonna try to get out of this extricate myself with some, but I guess fact or bogus claim you know I can see where that would have happened. Now. I feel like that's a pattern I maybe have been in the past. You don't think you would just say: Oh sorry that I have done that is well by EU. Depending on what my heart, It is and what part of my brain is working an on line. Sometimes I will give him fairest Aristotle give maybe defensive, worn yeah, that's normal, I'm trying! You know this is a risk you want. If you want to wait, Anderson Chopping water, they said Polly topics pull out of the way.
On top of what vice versa, yeah piece of those Gary Becker younger you thank you.