« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Kate & Oliver Hudson

2019-11-04

Kate Hudson (Almost Famous, How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days) and Oliver Hudson (Nashville, Splitting Up Together) are American actor/producer siblings. The two sit down with the Armchair Expert to discuss their new podcast, they talk about their relationship to their father and how sibling perspectives differ. Kate tells a story of when she went to Valentino’s house and Oliver discusses unearthing old trauma. Kate and Dax talk about their past relationship and what they learned, stifling children’s aspirations and watching the OJ chase.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Well, I'm sure expert, I'm Dax Shepard sitting across from me, The beautiful town did emanated, Monica glad Man, that's me, I'm here, I'm in Holloway out. Oh it's Halloween too. Even though it's not Halloween today, we always celebrate Halloween five days after Halloween as a policy, so that the streets aren't crowded in lines only knock at the doors.
Kate and Oliver Hudson brother and sister are here, they have a new podcast called sibling revelry, and that is out today it's on Apple, podcast, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcast. I think you know both Kate and Oliver Kate Academy award nominated actress and author of fashion, designer Oliver's been on a bunch of shows, rules of engagement splitting up together, Nashville scream queens. There are the progeny of very famous woman, Goldie Hawn Daughter, infinitely interesting and fun, and I love them and have been friends with both of them and dated one of them for quite a while.
so please enjoy Kate. Now over Hudson, we are supported by sleep number. My sleep number is eighty. My sleep, like you score last night, was eighty eight, mostly because the dog was run in a circle at the end of the hallway. That's about, and I thought there was an intruder- yeah you're scared, but there wasn't. I was. I was very scared. Now, listen! Everyone! No sleep is important but considers someone you know who is in the military or veteran. Imagine how much a good night sleep means to them from military, here's to everyday heroes. The new sleep number three hundred and sixty smart bed helps everyone get the proven quality sleep that will change their life sleeping packs, everything Monica your creativity, your mood, your patients, your willpower, physical and mental health. Now Kristen, you know she's out of seventy. This is the beauty of a sleep number bed. She can have her desire firmness. I can have my desire firmness, no arguing over what bed. We should get its Heaven, the sleep number three hundred and sixty smart bed since your movements and automatically adjusted keep you sleeping comfortable to
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Some? Are shit right and I applaud the people who, like a phoney as people who hated by the way my kids are into the air some our stuff. There were watching on Youtube, and it's like certain people. I guess it induces euphoria and euphoric girlfriend. I interview a gal, I had hooked up with Andrea at eight. I don't ever been interviewed by an exploit. What again, I dont want to trigger any old memories and be controlling, but you will need that my profound quite a bit closer to fall and address it's strange. play erotic. Yeah yeah like look at this guy or this girls are eating spaghetti and I'm, like I got to go,
usually erotic. I don't know why. I feel that way about those unwrapping videos as well, there's something so perverse going on the way they delicate. Leave and systematically take them out in the presentation of a parliamentary question, because then I saw thing debt that trigger, in the brain to me, It is sincere tional, as it has been shown, where's that Why do we want to watch these things? I think it's you don't normally get to be a part of people's like eating. again, I love I have an answer here have been created. It actually stimulates the pleasure centre of our brain so like when you hear sound at a certain like any kind of tall and our harmony or anything that had it directly hit the pleasure chest. Okay, so that Explain the asmr. I think that the unwrapping thing is who, among us, hasn't
Joint unwrapping present, so you you're, a mirror neurons are triggering as you watch his person on Represent Europe. Can you go straight back to the last present you unwrap yeah, then, why not satisfied and wrapping up? It depends what the gift is that such events from a lover now- and you know at the end of the road I got my mother in law- they spent the first Christmas with us. Could you guys together what sixteen years of ATM Total yeah married thirteen and their amazing. I could him ass for better and laws. I got her a twelve inch, although all wonderful, yes and I ran to the entire the head- a fan, the whole family and she opened it and it works joyous occasion to watch. It was heard today ice, especially My father in law Brooks who lost his mind Can you describe like him? In what fashion did he lose his?
or he was laughing ass. I was actually laughing harder than she. Well you be here was a bit snarl. She didn't light. She had like internalize it for a second. It like what is what are you what happened before you know it them work started laugh. So I am, and she lost at the great thing about an I'm other law. Is that she, then proceeded to create and elf on the shelf for the dildos. The deal than he was hiding around all of Christmas adult else on the shelf? I'm? So, let's is right out of it Why are there two people on the show and they're siblings Oliver and cake, and it's because you guys have a podcast that you're doing. Sister podcast is the theme overall like siblings, or it can go anywhere where I may. We must. We are interviewing siblings, but then we're talking subjects that were interested in or that we might disagree
certain things that we might have disagreements about trying to talk about. You grow up with the same family group with the same circumstances, but then how do you become such a? front people ass curious little. The one thing I immediately thought when I thought of you guys doing this, is you have an added layer like I talk about my mom on here a lot but she's given me her blessing and my dad is dead. There's really no issue there, but you guys if the added layer of like both parents or newsworthy, if you say your dad, kick your ass, that's gonna be a headline yeah! That's why they're good uniting and is We honestly try not to filter anything. We will, whatever we want to say. I have to say I feel like we need to say, and then we know there are certain instances. I think where you know you have to protect. No, why often in that its also there's being honest and then there's like you know, Lange
dirty laundry rush to me, I'm not a fan of anyway, like that, I'm not a big fan of like oh. Let's start Minos, shit slinging everywhere for the sake of an interesting conversation like, I think we protects our privacy, but at the same time it were very truthful. Our experiences growing up cuz, when I knew you guys were coming in here right away. I have like three stories that I No I'm like all my god. These stories must be told, but I know it. I often get nowhere situation where I'm really good friends or somebody interview in unlike I know so much about now. What stuff are we go with him and what aren't we but, of course, there's like three stories that I've found myself telling primarily about Kurt the hours? Yes, what a story generator. I now ask us what a good thing is: Kurds still,
doesn't know how to use the internet. There is really no shot an end to this. I have been an actor for twenty years. I think he's may be seen two things that I share in autumn, like I don't think he will be tuning in part. One said that My time he ever knows of a new guy that I'm dating is when there is a tendency guy following him around. Well, I I don't know anything about that in Europe, your dad as a couple really funny furies cause. He told me that, had he not been married to your mom, he would have skated through life completely anonymous like that's his actual fear, which is a crazy. He only Gideon recognise Disease with a grand. Now. It's like this weird, like strange lack of self awareness that he's not like this mega mega mega Mega movie star that has occurred. Push so much and is a fucking bad.
In his own rang. But there is a flip side. Has then Kurt sometimes gets hot and others are fucking Carozza I mean he does have that side as early as well. So I think he uses one for the other to his advantage. You know when he needs to use when the situation calls for well. I've said, since our break up, who broke up. Who for real? I don't remember why? Don't? I think we just partly wishes sort of mutual ass, an we were in different places and our life, oh, you think, for sure. First of all, very very fond very memorable. Allow wonderful fine experience number two. and thinking about like all this may come up. What is my summation of it and I guess I decided. I really only take responsibility for my stuff
that's really all had decided on. I can assure you I would have liked well right yeah. So my things, probably that were very hard for me- was I felt very less them around you. Moon often Keitel think we all do visually Kerr. I got a new boy, you I think I was just in the point where I was not, free movies anymore. I had a bunch of didn't work and I'm, like I don't fucking know. What's. And you were at the time making the most you ever made and having the most opportunity- and I felt very much like fuck- I don't know what I'm doing I'm following this person around as they do things I wish I were doing just a rough period for me any ways, and then I felt all kinds of adequacy in that position. How much I love tat? I now
the honesty. You know. I said something really interesting when we were dating and you were right which is like and it's funny. I just brought this up with Danny, because I did something that I recalled. I used to say it drove him. Nuts is I'd, always say what, but I heard him and he's like. I know you heard me. I know you heard me but you're asking me to repeat myself again and I well, no actually don't know what you're saboteurs like not. I do know what he just said. I dont know. Why am I did at the other day with Danny and I went and ass I am. I got Dax and I looked at the any Anne and Danny just repeated. I got honey. Do I do that alone? Oh yeah, you do it all the time and I like why? Don't you ever tell me that I do there and he could cause it doesn't bother me
and I thought that's really interesting, because and then I told the story of a driver, crazy, I witnessed rates or when we were breaking up these heartsick courtesan. You gonna give my complaints about bring it deserves me. Look at your purse limit value. I do love you personally, like it in it, but you. You also said that you really one in like a we in your life and that you felt that it was just about. me. Why did I felt, like I hooked my caboose too, like a speeding locomotive which, by the way, are rather atoms, dance called for it? You had a child lehtinen, so that makes me infinitely more flexible. Now that I have children, I see the whole thing through different lens.
and yet you had money making opportunities that you could not not take others is a lot going on was like the apex of business. In this time a try yeah but just then I'm the one I want to get out a jug. Ok, we aren't personalities were very, are super compound of names. I added value and even though it is a joke, literally either. I already media that let's go through the whole time. I at our first conversation in the backyard of Toby Maguire. How Elliot we were looking not over the city that the house was so nice, yet we both recognize that we didn't have houses that nice and he started talking in a within the first five sentences of us meeting each other. We told each other how much we had in the back
Yeah. That's right! I am not surprised that happened like I know. This is a real do like as a dude for Michigan that everyone's crazy weird about money, right, hey, right, you're like on I'm kind of doing. Ok, I guess I'm not! I can't by this house what what do you do? It Eddie, I'm your seventy green in the bank and I think that's exactly what I have and it was this a fast pass to becoming eyes funny. But it's it's interesting. I'm still like that in that, I don't know why people get so uptight about money and talk about money or how much they make when I'm doing tv shows all the Kazi, how much you may- I ask this much.
Well, I can say that when I did parenthood, I made myself a mental promise. I would not find out when anyone else, because I was like a thing: is you probably making a little bit more but its plenty of money to go, see lines in front of a camera? If I find my child, whose is as far as acting jobs, making twice as much as me and might ruin the experience. So I don't want to know that I was much happier never knowing what anyone with CO workers yeah yeah it's a! U and I kind of fell. We did hard and we started playing poker tat. China, member who the first person that like mention Dax, was it you to you I don't know why my memory, you guys were just all of a sudden, started dating, and I have the perfect memory There was a huge status imbalance, so I remember every detail of it, so we had played poker at three.
Times, so one that you were there hamper how gas irony I give you the platinum packaging. I gave you a hundred and thirty percent of everything I had to get high. Dont know. If I want- and I wasn't paying attention I was like the almost famous girls here, she's cute and here's my light on the brightest setting? can you were you were laughing? I don't know whether you like me or not, but you were laughing a lot and then vited Brean I to your Christmas party based on that Walker experience, so we went to your Christmas party. You were still married to Chris and then at the party again, just like outgoing Florida, you were married. I was in love with Bri. It wasn't like I was totally different place. I thought you thought I was cute all the better, so I again gave you
ninety seven percent there about a year went by, or maybe I don't really know, no longer that was a Christmas. Our users wasn't, I dont forget, because, because I started dating someone before I did it you all right Yes, we remember and we won't say no so anyway, if the one they got all then Brill invited me to go to dinner in Malibu in you were at the dinner and at the dinner there were a bunch of operating outside the who had followed you because you just broken up with Jack Nicholson and while we were there, we said, wouldn't it be funny if we came out holding hands- and I was your new we're just her House
We added, wouldn't be great of her new boyfriend, didn't wear furred at Davos agreed in my view. We have. It was so funny we exit didn't know. I was short list we are holding hands. I was acting mad at the proper out. They were invading our privacy and energy, What the somehow hanging now that's great. Then I wanted to have sex with. Would never let dialect perfect men of LA? Oh really. What happened? There is another thing there is that I had gone to an amateur body. Building contest this. Yes, my conversations and I had body I'm string, bikini top and it's not on royds thanks for asking worse time ever came over, I was wearing that tank can resist the dude things? I know not. A rights lay for asking how long you guys, actually together three months, but that's it links wasn't longer. If you
longer, but it isn't earlier. I D moanings now here longer than agreement now I thought that those longer I think it's three months, but I could only be wrong committed Well, that's another fun! So the reason that relationship, although ill fated ultimately was super beneficial to me with one. I have never been monogamous ever and you are like. I know you ve got a whole thing that you're and over regulation with I'm. Not that's right right. You are Mister Mc Caskey, Saul flooding back as I grant would never shots just not going to work there I was envy. There was a non starter, vows and non story, so I was monogamous for the first time in fifteen years or something so that was great,
into. I literally learned how to say when you do this, I'm scared and I feel this way which Bradley forced me to do. Cuz you and I have fights that I really hadn't had with people, we did it. We had some big old barn burners. We really what what what were some of these fights about. I'm curious because I wasn't privy to these fine as what was I always the riving Dax, what he needed in any and I was making choices that we're not relationship focused we were a month and I dont ass. We are what I hear the uniting alive blame for these events like if I was too I have to say I was not ready for what Dax we were so When I was out of a relationship that was really hard CORE Ravenna Dax, an eye. It was so much fun and then it just got hot fast got connective and I wasn't prepared. I was making a movie. I
writer, I wasn't in a purely one, lousy also. I was twenty one yeah the irish liar and I was there. so you already had a kid. You just got divorced. I was thirty two going. Whoever I date next has to be the I want to have kids. I want to spend three years with somebody to know that I'm going to have kids and then I want to have kids. So I was definitely in a different place does. It feel like I had a little bit of that and like whatever timing and whatever that is like. I feel a little bit like. I was so backed out but like when he met his now wife, which was after we broke up? No, no, it was like Gung HO time for you. I mean you really. You know where for a real relations. Ya want. I was ready to yeah, have kids and do it, but so I'm Bradley, I don't even remember what is specific fight would be, but I'd be like I'm coming back to the city. Aren't you on your way
EPCOT or whatever the fuck you were coming back. Is why she's a fucking she's above all, right any go while if she said that to me, I'd feel really kind of like emasculated and and feel scared. she wasn't going to like, you would say all these things that I was incapable of acknowledging that I really did feel- and I was like- oh my god that is I feel it translates your anger in your words into psychology and how he process stay out. I didn't have practice area in so, but was genius about it. he didn't go or that you feel really scared and emasculated that this, and that happened cuz. I would only know what you don't know you feel that way, and then it and then threw that I was like yeah. I got. I feel that way too and he's like you got to go, tell her that and tell her that it's Basically, I felt so the word vine at all, but weak. It felt very weeks ago, when you say this,
I feel really scared Bubba and I did it. Once and you were like, I don't think I've ever. Guys, say something like that, and I was like. Oh my god. The reaction is positive, that I'm not a wimp that that was strong, so for me really like positively confirmed that in our house, it's not an easy thing for men to be, for men genital to be vulnerable. I'm I've been going through this all my life and I've had a bit of a breakthrough. With this place that I went to, I went to a place called the Hoffman Institute, which was, Looking for norristown from my life, it's basically breaking down in a week you're there for a week, no phones, nothing! You are off the grid with forty other people. It's about parental patterns, it's about the adoption of parental patterns, negative love patterns that you have you know adopted at the age of an infant done consciously and how
affected your life and you can go back into generations. Basically in this is travelling reason. Why your great great great grandfather, there's a similarity between some of the emotional scars you all have yeah, that's not breaking that! I'm in this is a whole other conversation, but I was dealing a lot with vulnerability and it was a different kind of vulnerability was about a pressing love. It was about me being able to look at my sister and say I fuckin love you, yours, important to me in my life- and I don't know what I'd do without you- if I felt that it would hurt me too and I would go into a shell and with Aaron my wife acts like she doesn't. Even
no the half of what I am capable of giving her, and now it was an amazing thing. Coming back was your fear that if you say that to somebody in you give them that than that that you are now risk or vulnerable to them, now only newer misusing you or a hundred we and that's all financially origins have only lovingly we come from where or lower like yet were like the house to children, firm, abandoned children, and then we have this very blasts privileged life, so you should have as you grow older, you kind of tell your sounds like I'm an asshole. If I allow myself to really kind of go there with like and you know I just got my birth straps and keep going, and we don't need to feel traumatized by this we're lucky kids, and then you get older and you start heading is roblox and you realize oh, I actually have to feel something that I've never allowed myself to feel based on my circle,
yes, that's. What was interesting about going here is that I was on one of the more healthy people I mean you have. Majorly abused people who are here you've got the unraveling We are troublesome veered from one person at a leave yourself, major attics and people who have been abandoned in ways that we. We could never even imagine, but that didn't take away from what I got out of this experience, because with its individual experiences somewhere suffering is actually a subjective expended the true that you can look at suffering and you can see it differently and try to gauge what that is for an individual, but one person suffering, isn't another person suffering and sailing with happy go. What's nice has expressly expressing that suffering collectively in a group of forty people on the family that I have gained in his experience has been incredible. The catharsis
we all went through together. Do you think about your sobriety, a lot, a meeting for people who are in alcoholics? It sucks. You have to be a fucking junkie to go. Have this experience, like I kind of want this to be that experience? it's interesting because sibling revelry. It started as what sort of Kate was talking about, which was our sibling perspective. Once we started interviewing these guests, z, psychology that came dot out perspective, because at the time that was some see you gotta radar worry ideas. Literally. I think I made a weird me yeah words my heartily and she interpreted as like me bout, but is about it. I've got bigger to cite a few things I was compensating as it look like and are working on bordering copy, so I made my eyes
again saying oh perspective. It's like the same thing is like us. Looking back at relationship like you can have one circumstance. And two completely different prolegomena? We, you know, that's what love about sitting and talking to other siblings is cuz. You'll sit there and I'll talk about one thing that happened like there was one person that we interviewed about their father to legally different perspective, raise railway the same the same, but the perspectives was night and day and it was so interesting what one brother got from the father. Was this sensitive like? charity and save jails and what the other one was. The exact Any of you guys had I'm sure you have where my brother and I'll start talking about something that should be very memorable like us, watching my mom get her ass kicked by my second step dad and I'm like oh yeah. I remember sitting on the stairs and
lower level watching us. Now we were at the other apartment and like no, we weren't, I can see the carpet. I can't like he's like. No, I don't like that is so dramatic. How on earth are they ever doing like police, RI counties of crimes? And all that, like you just didn't know he and I were in this most significant event or psychiatrist. They talk about process versus storing content, because, like stories and contents shift and move is why I think like what we're doing right now. Why and also were actors were storytellers. We love breaking shit down re also connecting ever
but then, when you start getting into the story of something you're not going to connect you Malcolm Gladwell's, new book is about how valuable memory is and how it works like how you layer on and how it just has a story that you know just were very, very bad at actually memorized, breathing then happen recalling the guy's scary yeah. That's why it's like it's not necessarily about the detail, details for Oliver and I like we actually had like super cheap. I, like don't remember half of the things that we type moment I remember- and I dont member, if its end like in childhood and our childhood, like I remember if it was at the beach or if it was in I don't know where the fuck we were, but I do remember, all have very sort of this. rural moments while see Oliver's face? I really sailor man, question. What is your most traumatic childhood memory?
I mean I there was a lot. I had a lot of. I mean you know if I again was not to go and a story but to go into feeling. I think one of the most traumatic things growing up for me was mean play understanding, painful experiences, but seeing them through you, because you are older and could understand them- looking to him to see. How are we supposed to be renounced the as yet and having articles looks now not waiting? I always felt like I had to be here: protector re, innocence, disapproval you're three years older Ayala verse about two and then also backstory. If you don't, you can have all up to date, y'all's dad bill left. When Kate, you were eighteen months, old and you're or and a half right anyway. It's a common vision, three hours, six, six, ok judges brings Aroun Abuja Guide. It was crazy experience for me having Kurt come into my life.
Who is such a man o m e Manlius? I am a man and I was so nice I was just a puddle. Yours will shine why you weren't does it? You are goosey and you were. I used humor, my goofy nursed, a sort of cover you, had anxiety I just looked to my right no, it's funny how wondering at ever gonna hanging up since we already you date dying insincerity residing in these matters. I don't know, stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you dare, we are supported by I love. This is one of my favorite products to talk about because implicit in it is boobs. I love boobs and I think people with boobs should take the time to find a broad, that's perfect for them, and that's where third love stepson, I just ordered at their land.
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I had my moment that really started to find a divorce for me, and that was when my mother was backing out of the house that my parents used to live in and my dad is running after the are in a rage and it was in a station wagon, much like your own, for real and mom is I'm in the middle of the back seat- and I see my dad running at me with his red face and it's a steep driveway, an lining the driveway is, is literally a white picket fence and she lost control going in reverse and smashed through the wire, our door allegory. I and I was just I can still see it. It was, I dont remember any of it so gnarly in that moment, when dad's running that you are you a scared or you be Goin I've, let my dad down, I'm deserving my dad in now.
I was here just fear. You know interesting. my dad and I, at this point of my life, we have somewhat semblance of a relationship. Let know we've never had one before now, it's mainly over text. Honestly. It's because I made a post. I did a post on Instagram it was a dog, my father, my dark ass of humor fathers day, and it was an old picture of my sister and I and my dad when times were were good yeah when, though I picket fence seemed rallying round lay- and I said after that- none oak as we had a good for five years of visiting, it was working out and then all went to shit, but I posted a nice picture and I said: Happy Abby, oh wow? That is funny I do something
outrages, Cates the one who catch is the he could hear her family, and I am I am so out of this. He went on a talk show in these either dead to meals is long, and then I wrote him attacks It is number and wrote him along text that was very sort of stern, not Minos, apologizing for any. For anything there and then is sorted a comrade just kind of came around another had breakfast. I had seen him in twelve years we had breakfast look at, unlike him out Craig, like I saw a pitcher of the day when I was reading about and as I wholly foggy as with yeah, it's it's definitely funny. I have a different relationship You are father, you know again, and this is stuff we talked about a lot in our pockets feel like for me. It's like I don't know. I went to this intensive three and a half years of like two days
week, fair, be sometimes two hours was that a woman you liked when now you know this is this man? He was actually he lives in Miami for three months. You guys that's a lie. of information. You guys know a lot about those, only three more massive known, each Ahmad tip of the iceberg and volume like our arms. Is it not a well? I got for me my relationship with bill, it's like through my three and a half years of therapy that was like all about. I have to break this pattern that I have that obviously comes out in blue. Relationships, and I mean- and I just was able to forgive him. I realise that a relationship with him is not something that I was interested in. Having
but I love em, I dont hold any animosity. I really recognize that it was whatever his inability to sort of connect with us was coming for a really painful play. Send you know pigs that version of narrow, as is the men experience it. I had with my dad here, and this is why I had a personal catharsis. and how I feel about him vs how I felt about him, prior challenges and they were real and they were tarred, and I have so much sympathy and forgiveness, That being said, I don't have a trustful relationship with him, so I don't choose to continue that pattern. Oliver is differing, you know he having being son too. You know yet and have a real baser foundation. Will you gonna have what I assumed I had, which is. I have no memory of living with my dad. He left when I was three my brother had eight years
So he had this fun for him in this, like in her love for him that I took towards the end of his life that I could get to a picture of it, but you know I mean our dad's father left the house when he was five years old, never returned. My dad didn't have the tools to become a better or different or more evolved person. I mean this is what he was dealt and he was neighbor. to sort of draw any other cards, Yoda name like doesnt. Nobody talks about this shit open, maybe a generous tional like now olives and nobody's the research is in everybody's started. Like we're talking about realising that the more we talk about it, better three, and also, I think all goes right, you're trying to understand why you do the things you do and you have a list of things you don't do any of illicit things. You hope to do more of any sort wondering like. Why am I doing that thing? You know that was another crazy breakthrough ahead when we were dating is
we got in a fight over the phone when you were in Boston, and I have never connected these. We got in this fight. We hung up the phone and I had this carnal visceral emotions like horniness, and I was going to text this girl that I used to hook up with, Like starting to text this girl and for the first time ever, I was like curious. I got uncontrollably horny after having a fight, and I was like. Oh, my body takes care of itself like This is a distraction. This is a way I can feel good right now and feel powerless and I feel little in this activity. Makes me feel power, MOSS, holy FUCK, my brains that complicated. I know your Marty me and like you, that will serve as an actual cell soothing sex was, is always been that This is for so many people. They just don't talk about it. When you obviously coming.
A those pattern, oh yeah on all themselves and other things that we talked about that LEO Sex. But what a great Joseph dopamine to get when you're kind of feeling a lil atta control, easy, it's a great way to regulate the inside from out of one of the things that mine therapists did with me, because I would always find myself in a relationship whether I wired it or not. My therapist basically said done. You're done no more relaxed, were you can. I was a little real. No, no flirting! No, nothing! No texting! If a guy tax, you dont text back very year, I thought you were talking about on stern and I was like I was trying to imagine you. You know just went through life, you know no floor.
no I'm looking for everybody. Ifor with men, women, young, yes, I was really interesting and men and find out what I found now was it's sort of like. I think it will have how they take people through like the love and sex you know where they have to like kind of shut, all of that off and sit with the uncomfortable moments and then about three months to text artichokes, pop up Then I got down, I got depressed, it was uncomfortable I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to like do anything. I thought Mojo. I have no sexual feelings. I just kind of went so inside of myself and I sitting with there cuz I'm just feeling unattractive. I don't feel, and we would go through why we would go through you know then, All of these things in my life started popping up like changes of perception on Sir
people in my family understanding triggers with exes realizing all the shit that I do not like really not being distracted. Looking at how I am as a parent and being like I've failed, in some places that I need to like fix a not making me feel bad. All of a sudden, like everything started, focusing second identity shatter right. I mean it's a big component of our identity to be attractive, to get people's approval to be desired, like validation, lover, any mail value all. Then I had like that what you would say like the break, the cathartic breakthrough, which ended in a fatal position of feeling something that I'd never
relief. I want- and I remember it was about a good hour of like bawling. I consider myself an intelligent person, but I can't believe I had never been able to actually feel what I'd known for so long tat, right, yeah, you're, a good and I was happy- and I was happy with my kids and I had a routine I didn't need a relationship and I wasn't interested in calling guys back and then I was allowed to flirt again. Then I realized tat. I had no real interest in flirting the way that I did and the guys that were interested in me, we're not guys I was necessarily interest them. Will that's what's so fucked up is it like? I have a female friend: that's an SLA in so in this one case, a co worker of her like text, her something kind of inappropriate, and I said look at the real answer is. It feels flattering no you're married. So what David What is that? You have low enough self esteem that you need to validate
even though you're married and like it's not really a compliment. It's like I'm a scumbag. I see that you might be a scumbag. Let's connect like you, you attract people that are in a similar state of self esteem. I think that you are You have your in this circus of everyone whose texting and for regional the shit it's a self perpetuating, because it takes a second from men, especially like up until you're, about like thirty five into that later thirties prevent he's. Just how to figure it out. You know what I mean when you have kids, if you're the kind of person that wants get into it and you want the best for your kids, like you make shifts in the way that you re start looking at yourself differently, so that you can give your kids that opportunity to be able to make those choices as they get older, smart, I think you like myself, are a victim, sometimes of being smart because Bellator's stna that you can't be too dumb for a, but you can be too smart for a end.
I lost a million arguments to you, which is a very foreign feeling too. We would argue individual female or whatever, and then I got to the point where, like I would just throw in the towel, which was totally new for me, and then I could see myself. Three words like you won this argument, but I don't feel any better like. I still feel scared, and all these things. So you one, but I still feel like shit and I was like I all those argument I won with previous girlfriends. I won them. I didn't address how they were feeling I didn't make them feel I didn't do any of that stuff in I just think so many times your gifts can also be your like achilles Will you are also the first healthy relationship I probably had ever had now. Chris, a love of my life hands down and I mean some cosmic, something seriously cost me and our life with rider. I've been the subject of his hatred. I've been there, but I always am just like you know what love is
soulmates, but I couldn't be with him and it was unhealthy right. There were unhealthy aspects of our relationship. That would never have allowed me to be able to be in that relationship and then I honestly think you're the first person who had healthy patterns that you are creating healthy patterns, you're the way you ve journal. The way you want to communicate what you wanted from their relationship, like every thing that you were doing, was going to to healthy relationship and it was like but have you always been on an evolutionary path, meaning like you're, always constantly evolving and you know that and it's always about soaring bettering yourself, even if you're taking ten steps backwards. I think sobriety was the turning point. I don't think like what free, I put in the amount of self reflection that she certainly deserves, and we had maybe, like you and Chris, like we just fit in this great way. That was very simple,
check in easy, we didn't fight, we didn't do any of those things cuz, it didn't seem like something needed correcting. I wasn't going to go out of my way to correct it, but I think it's all from it's so evolved to have the recognition that someone is my soulmate and I can't be with them Wasn't I almost? No one can do that, say like with Chris and I to that it was like. Oh you were so young and yeah. I was but like it really, I mean still. I just love that man, but there's just no way I mean, and I think he probably feels the same way about
mean will that data that remain have won the times. I fell inadequate or less than was like you're telling me about your first day in your life, and we took the Concord de Paris live without you. You wanna fuck man that core areas like. Oh you even evaluating moves by President First Chris made me feel unconditionally loved I'd. Never felt that way before. I still now he loves me. He was my great teacher as well as all over for that in terms of men of like showing real and you Andrews Head,
most romantic relationship will there back and forth the pair? No, you were really was like that they are on the road with the black chrome has banned the time if they're getting clothes like made for themselves and their unlike pairs. Smoking cigarettes reign in training railway line in its favour, photographer Darin, whose working with us now who is just travelled with them. Everyone took photos of them, beautiful photos, I mean I was with Aaron at the time and I was like wow. Work called this step it up. Somehow we know, sir, I sometimes tell you encourage. Who is the designers house you into is one of the best stories all vowing. This makes me like him. So much even though here I don't think again in reflection now that I have kids I saw my daughter on someone's shoulders. I go to their house and slit their throats whatever animosity had towards me totally
and I get it now. I didn't write your life, Hake, real well, I was likely it. What are you tat? I love you. I love giving him back in call that shoulder rides. I think you for rider was like he was so little. It was like my really big. Strong friend my I oh yeah, I loved him ass. It was so fond, but yes, it was a big mistake. I shouldn't have ever been out in some or you could get photograph of ahead anyway. You guys went to whose shiner you got invited to this universe. Do the store navy where it hit us with it. Really it's so good. Well, first of all it was Ben Stiller. He had done this shoot with Anna Wintour, it was a vogue. Was this weird little place somehow we're sitting there with Valentino Anna Wintour me and Ben and she says: oh, you must go to Valentine S house and then- and I go oh ok. We were
cited about it, but it was just a stranger we're our piracy, like you, that this is a strange group you know at, but until we both had to go to our respective spouses and say so we're going first, I am all for dinner at Valentine and Christmas like this was not what we were planning on doing and we are one I am Paris, unlike it'll, be grids Valentino leave to go cut too We drive an hour out, we get there is a mile long driveway, it's a perfectly manicured lawn. It's insane there's literally, like eight men waiting for the cars- it's just it's just me Chris and Ben Stiller, and you couldn't
like the hillbillies coming to recite. They have white, gloves no joke and they open the doors and we come out and Valentine others like a moat over his toe and he's got these two beautiful nephews with him. There are like wearing white linen and he comes into smoking, Jack these like coming over the moat? You know- and you know like ours and all of our voices change and as I would you like to look through the gardens and will, of course we all bear. A ban was like literally no joke region. One of the greatest moments of all time was trying to relate and we are in my life. I mean these gardens have been growing since, like the thirteenth. I mean it's like you know, telling the story about. Oh, my god, you know there was a red rose in the garden once and like none of us.
He was taught rely on our saint amount illegal. What what's wrong with a red rose, use, there's no red roses and in real gardens, because it's like, I don't know, Some kind of I don't know what it anyway so weird relate to this then says it's what you like about actually redoing. My lateness is really inspirational outposts, out, but also deeply finding any old girl. Oh my god, I get so now and then Valentino feeds Ben a blackberry which was even funnier, goes Ben, hates berries, ya, you like that batteries are still good. I've been the very same bands I oh no. It was like that and then the nephews liking O. Sometimes I come to the garden and I like to bring my guitar like China relate to Chris. Sure to come here,
blues. You know Ghana. singers, like blues song, We start eating. It's just cables insane. It's got like sterling silver, everything and there's another serving, and but you slowly, the Valentino he's funny and he really took a liking to Chris and he looked at his jacket and goes is this and he goes Gucci, it is nice to lay aside having been without a Christmas dandy. You know you can tell like you looks like a homeless person, but then, when you start looking closer, you realize everything's very placed in really nice. As you know the idea, but then we sit down and it's kind of quiet, it's a little awkward. There's a there's, a low, I mean it's like for more that we didn't know what other labour forks claim
yeah a court order sleek and is well I'd, say about a good two minutes of silence, and Chris goes so Valentino and he was years Greece, yours, I'm glad we could all be here because I need to borrow five thousand dollars. It's the perfect amazing, very well because it could be real, in the hundred ice. Obviously Joe right, we are again is via the vibrant as yet Jan started and balance, and that was that it was. We add the best nine we at last,
It was so much fun and it ended up being one of the great stories Many are so guys, I'm you don't have a clue shit in your life I am really I thought it was interesting that he was like, oh my god like. Isn't it weird to be, and I'm like? No I've, So much are two decades. It's like a lot that so I've got to do a trillion things. I shouldn't have ever been able to do They were really fun and also I feel super grateful to have rare, rare gift of all that indulgence to go but I still feel the same way when I look in the mirror, not the shit. That makes me feel good. It's not the stuff that gives me self esteem cuz. I not gotten it. I'd still be buying into the the fantasy like. If I just had this amount of money, I feel good. If I went to the Fucking Patriots game walked on the field like we did not feel great, you know
for an hour, then there's no like there's no there's no foundation under that you've built that I like really go there with things. Mom always said, like I jump in the deep end like and that's emotionally, that's in the things that I'm doing that's in my businesses like I like to go deep it sometimes by Friends. Don't like hanging out with me is cuz. I know they have to like. Go there with me a little bit on like the real things that are happening in life. I can have a blast and go hard over here and have a blast with surface things, but I'm always wanting to go to that place. That's a little bit on a dirt road. Looking at all this- and I had this fantasy about all this felt like, and it just didn't feel like what I thought it was going to it, which is not.
It is, I feel lucky that I got to find out what those weren't the things made me like myself. It's also, I honestly there is this weird world inside that, like people or friends, a certain people in our political and yet to shove, to these things like I'm not attached to that and anyway, I think, because I grew up here. Yeah right like to me. That is not a measure of success. to me like going off and living in Paris and like having a real experience or my experiences. Wives- shooting something in that's where I've just it is this pole, weird political world that we live in hope we can feel very empty yellow. My should comes from my family like right, leaving allay go into Colorado, experiencing the mountains being away from everything, but but can we for one thing: it because you by any other measure ever incredibly enviable career,
me and Michigan, looking at Oliver Hudson rooms on a tv show for seven years and been in many tv shows. I want. Hudson fly to remind myself. It's almost impossible right because we are just. We are comparison machine exactly in this is a huge part of my neurosis, which I've been working on and going through, which is that comparison, which is a fucking pattern. I mean here especially here in mice, at your mom's, alleging your step, dad's alleged hours, every was approaching legend right out and they now and then I got my little brother, whose fucking he's burning, drawing playing hockey Anuath, maybe an actor anything like our role and has in sick actor. Like I'm gonna move to collar. I know, but it's really been a beautiful thing for me and in my growth as a man as it is someone who wants to be in this business and having to sort of recognize these
things recognise the the comparison that I make that are just so outrages. Just trying to live in my truth and live in my happiness. You and this point in my life, especially being in the mounds and especially having this time has created such Billy in my self and my wife in our relationship in our family. and now I'm like okay money. buy happiness, but I'm happy so fucking back the brings fresh years, our Jerry Dynamo and I dont not wanted rise. Just not the thing right. It will now. I totally get that in their two different perspectives on then that's my sort of situation right now. It's like things were great. I want to focus on my career now I get my shit goin and I was want money to be comfortable. Not to make me happy just to be like yeah no worries
I think to Ganas goes back to why the sibling thing is really interesting, because you know when you do have a close connection to your summons, that you see things objectively, you can witness. Of course you know they don't want to. Front at Times and Oliver could be looking in having comparisons as an actor to the success of like our family, I'm looking at Oliver going. Do you realize what you have that none of us do you're the story? Teller, that you are the writer I mean he's such an unbelievable writer. I mean it's crazy overwhelm like when he was young used to win like weirdo to be like Ali you're, really great poet. You should like enter a contest. That's an even like the number one national Polynesia. What I mean, I think, sometimes, when you suffer from certain kind of sabotaging behaviors use, you dont go after the things, you're good,
terrifying again, I think so can be a victim of your intelligence, and I think you can be a victim of your charm, like you can float through anything so fuckin on dry. On my whole, why drives me my whole? I look like a handsome charm. I watch it as a system like he's what effect Do not worry. There's a great now said. Never even thought about that, but they are not wrong. I mean I've gotten through life, just sort of nay. I can figure it out. I figured out stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you dare, We are supported by sip recruiters, zip, recruiter owls. If Recruiter Ellison, Monica tool used before the cafe out
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Zapruder, the smartest White a higher Dayton day. New browser will ye are supported. I see MIDI M D Ballast I've been using, that you see we d sleep, a yeah. How is it oh delicious shall air has flowed? Often my slumber needs real nice. You so gonna try some I know you're, never giving it to me or hoarding it. never heard it anything is mine is yours. You could even drive my car's, which I don't like people do. Okay, well, offers on the table I wrestled with insomnia. I now hear the c b d, M blends five hundred milligrams of high quality see we d with melatonin malaria. Chamomile and other sleep, promoting ingredients to create a powerful and effective sleep aid. Thank goodness. This product exist because everyone's telling you what how important a good night's rest is. But you know, following their advice, can be very difficult with all these different stuff you're supposed to take so whether you're up late with kids or you know existential dread. You can turn to
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not writer, director, actor fuck community and all these things that are some one else company, actually decide whether I'm those things, but the dad thing is like I'm fucking dad for life. Now, that's a real thing. I was born born to dad other it's my favorite to you. It's man Amber one priority on the rear over everything. Its literally that's is it. This is all I care about. I may not all, but about being with my kids, but it's us about just making sure there good human beings the school, fine, whatever I just want them to be good humans, and when you talk about identity there is. There is a danger, though, and I fell into this trap. I did the show called Nashville for two years and an eye and Wilder was going into first grade, and I was away a lot going back and forth and he was a confident kid all through his life. Something happened in first grade where he was just shattered. Things
eighty written and he couldn't drop them off at school at sit with them for an hour and Aaron did as well for two hours and what happened was I began to attach my identity with his sharp. I started to feel these things and then it became this vicious circle. she's feeling me and I'm feeling him yeah and I was losing it. I had it. I had panic attacks in Nashville. I had to go on Lexapro I was I fucked up there and I threw therapy through. We see the same thing best. I had to learn to detach myself from him and the minute. I did that it took a few weeks, but we both started to heal a little bit, which was
well. We were talking about this study that just came out that John Hopkins used to treat children that were going through kind of developmental issues right and they would treat them with their feet and then they decided or let's try to also treat the parent at the same time, and they got some a better results from that, and then someone said, let's just treat the parent in he would happen in that went up like tenfold just because you're right there, an extension of your own ego, which is super dangerous. I will you also think when you start going, I say remembering all these things that defined my choices and lifelike number one thing in particular, Why did I never sing cuz? That is my great passion like music singing. Why did I never really do that? I was terrified of it. Why do I have such terrible stage fright and all boiled down to this? Like one moment that was so tiny and I'm sure it wasn't that parents fault, I'm sure they didn't realize how to finding that
for me. It was literally career defining. I was really excited to share something that I had recorded and that parent listen to a verse and then exacted the and said, Thou Stats grape has ignored. The bridge is the best partners, and I was, I must have been seven or eight and just was like no, I got it. I heard it and I was it and it was the job. stating so I was left with a. We certainly do that stuff all the time we don't even know. that I'm saying even realize it until I was doing all the staircase whether we have kids like seventy thousand thing so dead watch we climate with, I dont, know they're no spiry, mono climber ass, Blagden age range. Now I communicate differently. I wanna hear everything I want to know everything I want to do I'm just a little in my own head right now, honey and I got to like tune out for one second
We can hear this later right. I had real right honey over that ideal because dig dad left, and now I'm like, fucking hyper parents like crazy. That's really good, like you do it again. You know maybe should make a clear out of this. I'm here to abortion. Oliver is truly super tat. Even to my kids, really quick when I was again reading about your which, as we are to redeploy people, your do know it you're like three baby daddies. This is back to you why the great wife I feel guilty acknowledging maybes? I have. things that were not desirable in that. I probably need to look at them, but I was just looking at the thing today: I've never added this up in my head cuz. I don't even know about the third child three children, with three musicians,
Then there was a musician who split right in your leg. Well, no matter how many more worrying that most goin out onto the moment, you can see the forest where right there in the sand, smile reality has an answer that we now I'm really musical. I think like there is the connecting to dad in terms of music, but I think there is just also musical people do like being with musical Pierre. You light again like the other can, or the ILO Love music Qaeda. Now I can't explain it unless you somebody who feels me. is it the way I feel and I the genetics. I mean that's what I mean. Yes dad. You know that's a part of my connection. Every time I saying every time I write, I see feel dad to me. That's one of the great reasons why
I didn't approach that as a career you used to sing with Chris and you loved yeah when you were singing with Chris. Do you think it felt that some you in your dad should adopt might get something if you're dead stuck around forever. You would have done with your nap for sure what's a good relationship, but I also just think like there is just that the musical g yeah yeah, nine, as essentially the psychological part of it. You know cause yes, I know it. I am just attracted to musical people right. You know, there's people who love to sit in intellectuals of to sit and talk about. You know the good. The great literature of all time of Bobby. I was lying yeah I like that with people and feeling and talking in listening in writing and singing music young, sir. I'm always attracted to them with you ever there's a cathartic experiments right, an album with dad
If I understand how they ring on the earlier, then signs mountain, he doesn't needed. Vocals, Mogi, really quick. Now tat. The very fun thing was right: when we met, we went to Moscow so fine for like ten days, and that was like there is nothing to do, but have fun, do males coca I seen all of Kate's boyfriend one morning I wake up and who is that Benny Rodriguez, waist deep in the leg during the silhouetted by the morning sun. we got back from that trip and right there, after we're at your house in get a call that is like? Oh, my god, let's go
gotta go where we go. We gotta go to cedars all these have in his baby. It is like twelve or one in the more you line in the morning. Just come back when we really does is the greatest goes. Oliver and I have been friends for awhile and we get to the hospital. ten hours, just like what is he doing there? That's fair. My whole family is not in town country. She went into labor three weeks early? Nobody was home right, I am like. Am I type it goes into like hyperdrive like I got to get to the thing I got to make sure they have a room. I got to make sure that, like we got this all but from my perspective, it's the only one to call Kate it's happening. Great. That was it garage,
get out here. First Ck Highlight Haven my work- I listened, exact exchange. So there is, there was the parking garage which was if you're like, oh goodness, you're here, and then there was the elevator, and I looked at you like I kind of got a like a moment with you and I go look. I don't want to be here anymore than so, let's get through today, and it was amazing, go by the way it was one of the greatest experiences ever Dax was in the room the whole time with,
cameras he's all were wild meat because air not getting guys being like she's, not err, any section XI, so the proper he's wearing Pratt rouse insect incisive than I'm shooting here and I peered out like decade and then the baby arrive wilder and I watch him get process now. He had never seen that in some watching through the window. They were treating them like a fucking, chick chicken. They were battering and about to put in the attic but by the feet. Nor will it slightly. Remember me when I was a little rough with that little guy, like he's brand new and their scrubbin on everything, and I was too there really given him the one overnight yeah, but I will say that it was as funny as it was was really of an amazingly fund experienced first and it changed the whole dynamic because it's our first
kid there's nerves all around that you know especially for air, when backs, is there to provide this comic relief? And it's just this really funds is better at any rate, was making helps the whole time it will also awkward. It's all. I think one of the things I think fan Dynamics is one thing, but then it was me. Oliver my dad and his wife. It was kind of like this really admitted less on our right. There is different than the those strange part. Is cases ok, Baby Dat brothers,
having a baby: let's go and acts as a mere less. There are now that so fuckin, where ok, that's your key you're kind of relationship with, what's real, what's not what's fun in how to navigate all that which you do well, you happen to have lived with. The greatest examples of it of all time, cuz I've said many times. I've met so many of my heroes. At this point, the most Don't deliver your pretty bomb most the time like other kind of unhappy Kurt is the he is the high water mark for me of a guy I met, allows like oh his identity. Isn't that right he's his own man first and then that was something he did to make my. There's something so healthy about him very inspirational guide to meet. Listen. He wooed me the idea you lad rising. I would I and the other when we were dive bombing, the dock that you guys were all on. I thought
no he's gonna lose control. This aircraft we're gonna die, and I remember thinking of the many is to go. This is up there, not a bad. It's not much. I think in the leg, rigour and rise to such a great pilot and love owed I mean that is growing old. Oh, my God, the adjacent When we were married, revert mare, all Streep and dawn were living in allaying. They were moving to Connecticut and we went to their house to have like a go away. Barbecue with, like the kitten all kids naming Henrietta, we're all went over there and We are there. The news is on and all of a sudden it was like. You know. We heard one person if it Merrill's house going like omega trotted, should try the news. It try the news and it is the White Bronco
on the floor of five, the oder. Let J, J and marrow used to live on Rockingham, South Rockingham, and I think it was or Burlingame one of those that great sympathy. And we're all. sitting there watching and Kurt as he does got really excited it was like can you eat that we are witnessing It was like, standing. He was so excited. It was crazy to him he's like there's a couple. Things are going to happen. He started do everything that would happen. He was either going to end up killing himself. we're gonna end up going to their driving to Mexico him, and then there was a moment where there on the four or five incur goes, he's gone home
he's gonna fuckin, HAWK, dine and eternal demirel has been any like. We gotta go and they walk Two OJ is house. They we they LEO, watching the news govern them. Mom, a marrow. We're like you got to be careful like we don't know, what's happening right, they go to. jeez House, which is a couple blocks away and watching the news and you see: MIKE Shapiro, and you see what Kardashian yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
Besides all ropedown news story shaking hand. Our others using story is rising. Idea occurred in this is crazy. That's a habitable world comes back and ease. I gotta go to sea. Like you know the guy, like you know, our Europe then I'll unit in his world view that, like gun play, was fifty percent chance in his worldview he's like this thing, sprawling in ending gun play an ice I'm going to be right there. I need to have a front row seat to it, heard that story
I need to go towards right down the street, ok, but what was the name of the bulgarian sibling? Revelry right here? It comes out. Daddy per day every day right today, Chelsea alone, her sister, so far, more frontier digs in his brother only make him Jimmy Kimmel. His brother he's got a bunch of cool experts, words under shall folly are much hot. All arab medical medium is coming on when it got the mental est yeah with no great was aren't of units comedian Bobby Lee. So he was on the show that I just didn't Bobby Lee and his brother. It was so fun their life growing up was so unbelievable and we had this moment at the end, where Bobby told his brother like how he felt about, him I'd? Never yet Kate, prompted it and and and you'd never heard his brother speed.
To him. This way, I said if there is one thing that you could say to your brother, that you'd always want him to feel and know about himself like lowood right, let him not now yeah. What do you know about your brother that he doesn't know himself and it was so beautiful all the watch, these two comedians who are blackened Nazi, I hardly know low down a little way talk. It's amazing what that is. I don't know if you guys explain this, but my brother will rarely give me a compliment like to my face, but I'll I'll run into people with all your brothers.
Brother said that, like I'll go, oh he's a proud of me around town or the people write and that's knowing where really hear it yeah and it is a world super. Where can I will gradually the heights yeah? Now we are, but it's not easy, secure time before that, due to be vulnerable to say to Kate, you know how I feel about you, it's for me. It's feels, unlike our God, am I really saying as right now I want you. But I'm like there's so much potential damage, even though that's a narrative and it's bullshit, but there is so much potential damage by speaking the truth. Yeah for me personally, that's one of my big ship. That's one of the big things I'm working on in my life. You know, but yeah, it's fun, bringing it back. It's fun to have these siblings come on and there's an openness that seems to happen that we weren't counting on one of the great things that happens. Every time is Oliver always
like did you ever a moment where you were jealous like where your sibling was going like. There is usually measure and their end with out like hesitation, every single hour. No, I was like so proud of. Excited for them and now, in a case like see over, like oh, come on Oliver. This is your wife to connect with me, but I am surprised that that's always the answer no every day or lie lighted soon. No, no real! No! No! No! I don't think so. I think it's coming for a really honest, plays Gulliver she's, particularly How I underline some one will agree with me that I have some points. I project endlessly. It's like that's where I start your only brown
bringing me this charismatic. None have a drink! Germano me executive ever like him, I ride like no, it's our dream not to forget. that's all I know is that a good Dac stories that I didn't Ruby I don't think I'm alone the sale and what are they look? It's kind of like this climate. I don't know we can talk about some things are. If it's our stories, you're really never buy it, give us one! Ok or what ok well either gobble. There is one that I never forget, which is one of my favorites there's a particular girlfriend that I am, she always seemed, or we don't talk much anymore, but every friend that we have it was like. If you had a boyfriend, she was
always like so affectionate what the boy risk becoming aware in New York nearby and I was cooking and there was the kitchen, the dining room and then you're, watching television in the living room and Juliana. My fingers, you have to go look away. Your friend is doing with that Israeli, but go out and dogs is out of lying on the sofa and he's lying there as stiff as a board with his hand. I feel like I'm, not remember this. Oh, my god, No, your boss, I guess he's your body word like you were like sharing not on trying not to move, and my friend was lying. On top of you, watching television with you. What and I remember coming out- and I said her name of all say: Jane
and I look I remember- I had an apron on no joke and a cooking spoon and I'm never going Jane. What are you doing and she looked and looked at me, and I can't I mean I don't know what to do like a lot on top of them, but you were very respectful You are very sweet. You didn't know what to do. It by Adam was like when you don't remember that you'll go to like a parting, with your kids right and one of the council be crazy, affectionate with you in your life, I don't really know what I do want to make. This kid feel weird about actual affectionate, but this way too much affection for US strangers. I think I was in that feeling that way, it's a real, quick there's this kid at my my daughter's pre school last year. Every time I came in he would run to me. I want you to pick him up. I pick him up and I hold touch my face all year.
Here s a lapse, o o thou apes and, unlike the dance same situate, regular any no. I don't want to feel that, but, unlike ok, what other people around a sink, you had this thing when they re, like I, I've coaxed him to sort of in your own. Kids do do the other night where lay in bed in my four year old comes in and she is were lying in bed and she comes over into my ears. You daddy, okay to make her feel about. This is that we really knows that. I can't imagine wisely ones is shared and I go. You know and I think I'm too insecurity, let you scratch mathematical thou, a quick, and I ask you whether you still up propensity to get naked, because I was something that is enough.
Why does your eyes is hungry Miller telling the others? I am kid with the window near now, we're all sitting near the girls were like smoking drinking whenever I don't know where Dax, whereas I don't know what he was doing at the time, but we're dating in ease in the New York apartment, Errol House and all of a sudden wherein, like girl, talk about you know and there's about four of us that, just literally I don't know, what happened and how does edited or where they came from or what was like. I remember you saying: Babe show them Okay, maybe we were probably having a girl talk about the pink. right here is conversation, and then I pushed it up against the wires against the poor and the girls like- I bet. and they were like- oh my god,
Oh, my god, you know like maybe six months and she's, like you know, Is there anyone you haven't shown your dick to in this town and she was rightly a little bomb by it that everyone we met at see my dick and I like, I got defensive it first and then I was like you know what I don't love, how I look I've always liked my dick, I showed my dick off cuz. I wanted approval and I don't like I would look and I did it to everyone, and I just really wanted them, because all I'm like crying and then she was like that's real emotional, really mad at me. To go. Okay, get that to get the what a great notes. I love you and I loves- are always a fun one of them. Things was hanging out with Ali all the time.
You talk about all the shit and it's really really funny. I hope everyone listens to sibling, revelry out right now, so go listen. Hello is this Camille. hi needs Monica and acts. I want to come back. This is very surreal. 30th birthday we understand and your husband bought you a left handed mug
text, my husband and his family. I need to throw them in there too, because I really I hit the jackpot with my in laws, so they got together and they purchased a mug pretty much, Jackson in what what is his genetic disorder, it's called twenty two q eleven deletion syndrome, and it is the second most common, genetics and drought that most people have. Ever hurt us, so I heard deletions that that means were missing from genetic material. Is that the carrier on the twenty second pair, the tunny second crimson? And then it's on the Queue eleven point, two that's the location, so it actually have a lot more names. The George is, one of them feel cardio facial syndrome, Douglas kind of goes on in so the material. That's at that loci on the 22nd chromosome
when information should be there? That's not there! Well, it's it's really hard to tell there is actually over to theirs it. Like maybe around two hundred symptoms. I can go along with twenty two key Levin deletion. That's right so hard to diagnose, and so people are realising that all of these symptoms when they go in and their kids are just having arrived issues there relating all of these symptoms are, actually linked till one syndromes separately in now that people can actually get their genome map that helping with the identifying people. With this condition to summer fact, then I had to go through genetic count. Will we didn't have to, but we did got U genetic cancelling ourselves as well, and the technology is definitely becoming more accessible, but it still very expensive, and so a lot of families are self diagnosing on the internet and that going to their doctors because a lot of times health professionals, anyone teachers haven't heard of this centre.
before it's really difficult to provide services that wrap around for a child or even an adult scared. Because a lot of times people aren't even diagnosed until they're, an adult Well, is it developmental warehouses, Swain itself, re Jackson, there's a whole list and self reject and specifically in its just easier to give one example, as we found out when I was still pregnant around twenty four weeks and we saw a heart defect and she had interrupted erratic arch, an vs ie and because of his specific heart defect, our cardiologists was asked to suggest that we might wanna go through genetic testing to see if he had what she called the door to a tree. Later, I've come to find out. People are trying to call twenty two key Will Levin right, and so he
He has a whole host of other issues that we ve been dealing with he's followed by maybe nine to eleven specialities throughout his life. So far he has a heart issue when he was born, he hides low, calcium and also allow sister, a part of his famous was missing, which is the place in the body that really help to boost european system centrally educates the body on how to fight off illness, growth hormones or something and narrow in psychology school delays are sometimes associated. There's kidney and GI issues, learning there's some mental health issues that come later on in life. A lot of the time when you have a diagnosis, you just you have no idea what you're gonna get the hell. It's kind of a spectrum. And I would imagine, there's not a ton of funding for research and treatment for this no answer the first time I'm hearing of it.
I fancy myself a real medical genius. As you know, on earth, and no one had to go back so I would imagine there is a foundation that you believe that you things doing good work for these kids. Yes, absolutely fell. There are a few foundation than a lot of them are popping up that we decided that we would really like to donate money to the twenty two Q family Foundation, a high. Where were people find we need to keep Framley Foundation on the internet, I dont mind, yet they had a website. You can go there all about the syndrome as well. The family foundation, specifically they focus on out of education services, scholarships they work with kids and adults. You have twenty two queue for career counselling and ip counselling, and they are also really trying to educate teachers so that teachers are well informed of this syndrome, so that, if they have students in their classes
Help with you know the services that need to be done for education as well. As you know, we will be then forwarding the two thousand dollars that your husband and family members spent on is very overpriced, left handed coffee mate, so we're going to go ahead and forward that two thousand dollars to the 22Q family foundation. and we really appreciate you bringing attention to this, and we wish you a ton of luck with Jackson and we also hope you have Fun Montana thing here. I fell appreciate year kind there then can you raise a little bit of awareness and happy 30th birthday? Thank you
They present wonderful! Well, nice talking you! Can you get to talk to you about thanks so much? I love I now my favorite part of the show the fact check with my soul maiden mama got bad men when my hands when you check out my facts Are you ever like nice facts? Never well the ones I get right now. Ok, thank you. Never that problem, come up short, every now and then I'll think like I was right, but that's really what happened Moving on next up, I was talking to my mom last night about you. I was telling her that I am a mere player in your father.
virtual reality. That's what I was ex. Yes, we because, when I sent you that tax ain't accidentally send it to my mom, do they take part of our thinking about my mom, getting this text at all, my god, I just figured it out, I'm an actual avatar in your father's virtual reality. Now rather's vendetta. Since I was twelve, so I don't know what she thought of the text. When I wrote back Boop sorry was for Monica, and then I felt obligated last night to explain it to her do entirely about it. Let me know nothing attacking about, say you always area and early won't. Look. People are pretty aware of this notion of that may born a virtual reality. I think you're a mosque is the one who really got it into the z, Geiss realities. He thinks he's in a virtual reality. I pointed out. I doubt someone who digs latrines thinks earn a virtual currently right. That was kind of my takeaway is that young people who have gotten too much good fortune feel that way. I've gotten too much
Good forty answer seems possible. So you know I've sat around and contemplated whether, as this is a virtual reality, because things are suspiciously good for me. Yes, but what hit me? the other day was. I was just sitting around thinking about Ashok as I do, and I was, like God thing about his life. He grew up in India. He came here when he was twenty, some years old, any create a great career for himself. He got mad. These two beautiful children, one of the children's moved, a loss, Angela's she's, become rich and famous, and her coworker might end up Nor do I showed to me closure yet my as favorite Pollard he's upset her I have made it one of my goals to introduce him to her. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that yet, but it's on my list of things to do man so as I was fighting how I'm going to get those two together I was like oh I'm playing a role in his virtual reality in his stimulation. so much more sense. But what I was shocked by his like how cool the simulator,
and gives me a whole story like I really believe, I'm alive yeah? Complex simulation is having a rat my head around this, your dad is hooked to machine and some other place right. I don't know what that place looks likely. Is it look like Costco with no merchandise in just humans on the shelves. I don't know what it looks like, but your dad is hooked to this machine and it created this reality. Yeah and I'm simply one of the characters say you Dax, I'm not as an end ass now, but that but but the reality is so good simulation so good as it would make sense does. Wood have to believe they're real to do a good job, so I think I'm real or when they pull the plug out. I'm going to disappear. How do we know if my dad's or for mine or yours, I'm inclined to think I'm in your dad's. That's when you conclusion Amy left one place and do another, we and others at ease a whole, like Alia, attic kind of german saga
mine. Doesn't I love Milford Michigan and now we are escaped all this. trauma and then you had Sabrina. Eddie all sounds a little too storybook. Now, doesn't it to my dad and that tail? Yes, architect of your dad's Louis the architect of my dad and want to make things happen. Your daddy. There lived some other life in another area. and then, as he was dying, they hook them up to this machine and now he's a slipping in a simulation. That's one option to born in the simulations bodies been being used to create BT used like the matrix is just a source of energy can at hand, in which case he's never had. A real life is only had the virtual reality life right. So I don't know who the Ark That is the only the CASA warehouse yes do. Who's owning my dad Elon Musk, oh wow, okay, okay,
even if he was the architect, his only go at once. He rode over. So many I should, like God like he has an ego like God does wow. I hope all this is true, You know I love to think that I, like all these things, I did were real urea your care. What's the different you're right, who cares and nihilist point of view who gives a shit, does it matter? Is all monkey state busy until they were died Steven, real monkeys, Weird weird weird: so we have Kate on. In writing. De in Oliver Kane, our kids middle name is Gary. I wish I d brought that up those prime the coolest thing about her. I thought when I met her, was her fuckin middle names, Gary yeah, that's a cool middle for indeed you know why. I think after her uncle wow yeah she's named after is her name Caitlin.
not to my knowledge and images Katy Gary Hudson, I'm not positive about that, but I think so I know the Gary pardon me. Look it up right now, I'm going to look it up to see if it says it on Wikipedia I wish you know cause you did data K it just as hey Gary Hudson there would go, does neither their Caitlin our Catherine are most Kate said Catherine Caitlin K, there's a short name, yeah lawyers, only four letters and K issue for Catherine, normally. Ok I really didn't know that I am. Bob and Robert, which, by the way is so stupid. How do you hear names, the first letter of a name I now I'm is. Bob and Robert Kate is literally short for Katherine, but what about back to rob Bob. Ok, I ween alike there we like, if your name was Thomas, but you invite him. yeah or bomb
I guess they do it and Thomas GINO go by farm. well, no you, but it's not Samus, the age old, spelling as night you're, not changing the sound right for mass. I think people in spanish speaking countries that are the master through Mass now they're Thomas Kumato, tomato tomato It is Gary generally the nickname for Gerald Jerry do they switch it to a J. Sometime God, sometimes its wish to a J. No, I think I think Jerry that said, J is just Jerry or Gerard. Gerard Sedgy is urgently draw our old butler. That's Gerald let's Gerald yeah and he allowed a butler
Gerard Butler, Kate, Hudson! Oliver Hudson says on our roads in handsome Ba his hands and really handsome very he's very effortlessly handsome to listen he looks like he. Manicures himself puts himself together so well that you're like most guys, debonair he justice effortlessly. hell, yeah he's g was charming. Yankee. Until he's foreigners hell yeah, he seems fun. I used to hang out with him. when I was younger and we had so much fun. I know Kate was a weird or no what was weird is on the way here I was like okay. Well, we dated I'm not going to try to pretend weed and that'll get acknowledged, but I don't think it'll be an expert
asian of what our relationship was like. But then I thought, but Oliver's gonna be here in here shit starter in a rascal me, my palm poke, which he did right at the gates. He said who bore up with who quell yeah plants will be fair or other to be fair to him. You guys we're talking about it. She said. Have you ever had any one on your new data over a year? And then you talk about it? and then he said who book up with who, by the way right, which is a very inflammatory kind of question thanks never asked to people who broke up with who I would you would now You wanna know no one. I would. If it was my brother, I feel comfortable and athletes yeah exactly, but none of our, like friends, If we are all they said, oh yeah, we used to date, would never go who broke up with who, because you know
Someone will be embarrassed by the fact that they were the one broken up with is a very rude question. Unless it's your sister and an old friend, then it's very funny. I had a hunch, something like that might have or ok, here's other thing. Also, obviously you guys don't hate each other or she wouldn't be here, run right. So I dont like it's. It's fine that talk or ass, because, first of all, you guys decided to talk about it and you both clearly our finding around each other Florio I'm crazy. So might as well ask did you feel cuz? You haven't seen each other in a long time, right No, I bumped into her, maybe a year and a half ago at the Supercross race, and then before that I saw
we too baby I've really seen once a year the inner young you ever likes bent illegitimate amount of time began. I talked for five or ten minutes at the motor crossroads. Ok, we I talked for five or ten a baby to baby right yeah right. So I guess my question is when you're in this environment and an intimate environment. Is it like trigger oh feelings. Nine, like infidelity way, lay on a betrayal way, but in just oh, oh yeah, I remember what it's like to be with her. That was fine. Yeah but as I discussed in the progress I'm more reminded of how I felt when I bade her. When I see her, which I didn't like how I felt so yeah, that's how I feel sure centres it is Do you not think there's a little for red for both of you? I mean
I think, that's very common with people when they're when they're, knowing they're going to see an ex girlfriend or boyfriend that there's like a them to feel like I got away yeah sure. Yeah some ego level. I love for her to feel like I got away yeah, but again all my other relationships. This is the only relationship. It's unique in this category that my other relationships, I didn't feel bad in them. I never felt bad in any of the other relationships I've had that's the only relationship I was in that I felt bad in the relationship yeah I felt less than- and I felt not worthy in shit here then, and all those things- and I don't miss that right. There's no nostalgia- me about that, I was going to say that I initially
thought? Oh, oh, I will not deny we dated are acted like we didn't its public knowledge gap will have to address that. Oh Oliver might fuck with us, so I better actually been prepared to know what I would say about this day. If I have to sum up this relationship, we had in front of the person I better know That summation is in my head right now. If I was caught off guard, maybe I would have maybe been inclined to just start listing the reasons I thought we broke up, which would have probably been very play me to her, and I didn't want to do that. Yeah that I don't want to do that about anyone, I've broken up with right. So what's the point of that, not working on them. I'm working on me even if you ask me publicly why Bri and I broke up about inclined to give you all the reasons that I failed.
I have I have opinions of things she could have done better show, but I wouldn't be apt to share those near or if we ever even talked about earning, think I bring them up to her right. So much now my business, my business is my stuff here anywho. So it was a very unique interesting conversation, yeah it goes through your relationship and talk about why it wasn't a match. Yeah, that's weird! where it yeah I'm cool about. But I've found interesting. I just no really dig in and cause, I just mean a party I made a pocket. Rebellion pocket pour out now be deadly. My lover know their silky if I was wearing silky pants like you, I would be fucking diddling and poking and squeezing my genitalia the whole day, pant didn't have a pocket. just ripped a hole in it or was it, I think you were sown shut ledgers, and I hope that with might some, my dress slack,
It meant to be and sound yourselves. A lot of my dress lack come with the back pockets, so yeah there is a functional pocket inside here and then I repeat that stitching when my finger yeahs poker on my but who ever like you're doing I've always been been upset about these pants if they don't pockets. Another oh great, so you just solved the big idea. How distracted were you with your pocket exploration because we are talking kept looking down you're like digging and digging? I really can't I give them both. You can do by debate. So listen, It was interesting for me because I feel, like I know you so well, and then she came in. She just represents a portion of your life. I don't know and feels weird. It just reminds me of don't know you at all never met you before
your time travelling back to when I was dating, earn observing us dating or something what it means and a tiny bit a tiny bit like, This is how they communicate communicate, given that they communicate now and you guys do have the flirty energy, so I felt like oh they probably had a relief. pretty fun. But I'll do it just like this worries and all these things, and I feel so, out of the loop on. All of that stuff will happen in another chapter. You never rather entire chapter that I had nothing to do with we got to get someone in here that I partied with you really want to see the other chapter of my life. We need to get someone in here who really yeah, I mean I love learning about your life and I love hearing stories and stuff like that. It makes me feel like I don't know you as well as I thought, or something or something like
Brown, never know you in those ways which is fine but yeah. Just weird. Well, I'm now trying to imagine being you okay, so you have a guess that comes in that you dated when you were twenty seven or not even data like even something. Do the air- and I feel that these people going to put a whole life with ya. cool and weird. Yeah. I guess I'm wondering. Do you think that there are different stages that are more authentic or less authentic? is yes in the case, or yeah you're around me and Aaron were telling stories about fucking trashing the house and get a bad. It's like wow, that's not the person. I meant cheers ago in right, not re right, but I mean nothing
in every moment, I'm alive and yeah. I don't question that it's just all so interesting So she said we too, my as some are and she said that it stimulates the pleasure centre of our brain and any kind of tone or harmony hits that pleasure centre. So, as some are a Tom S, sensory, meridian responses, but it stands for there was some study on it and, and he said that eat your brain certificates, tricking away when you're watching that somebody's helping you your brain, interprets that as this person is teaching me, some thing is helping me. So you get relaxed and you get focused and Brain is getting into a super relax day, probably driven by the Neuro Herman Ox Toes San. So then that's why you can feel like sort of euphoric ban by it.
For some people watching asmr videos creates a feeling of raised alertness. That's because the brain is releasing increased levels of epinephrine adrenaline, essentially this something your brain releases when you feel threatened This is a stranger in the video pretending to be your friend, so you shouldn't be relax because you don't even know this person. Why are they acting They know you, so I nor Efron Director yeah sure every day for a four have been Efron Yeltsin's, ignore if it does so, then, I was thinking about this and I was like well yeah they're just two ways they can go, obviously, which is why some people love it some people and radically different yes and I was thinking. Maybe I bet there's some sort of correlation between your number, aces and if you like, asmr or not cuz, I bet, if you don't, have any your mom. likely to like it. That's a good. I like that.
Every year in general, do not like receiving instruction. Yeah takes rewrite a step that will yes, I wonder if you're watching those videos, if that's how you would perceive it as like their pretending no, you went away their pretending to be intimate with you, and so, if your person that feels like p to take advantage of you, which you do often feel, then I think you'd be able to put more on the alert on the comms scale. During those things, who said Malcolm Gladwell's. New book is about how fallible memory is and how it works and how were bad at memorizing. What happened the book is on strangers in dangerous assumptions. We make about them.
Something is very wrong. With the tools and strategies we used to make sense of people we don't know and because we don't know how to talk to strangers. We are inviting conflict, a misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. I order that that's got. This can be my return to hard book, but you can go I retain a lot more when I read yeah yeah. I now, but it's not about fallible. Mary. I bet there's a chapter in their eyes on talk, showed promoting the book and he was going this diatribe about memory, giving all these examples of people's bad memory gap. Maybe that's a sex. So she told the story about Valentino's house was telling some the heat oldster. About how there was a red rose in that garden, and that was bad and how they cannot supposed to have red roses and real gardens. But then I couldn't find any like it's about that or any
more of gardens that you, like you shouldn't, have a red rose or anything. It was his own personal opinion. It might be. There's some mythology around red roses and General Monica right over the rest. We so are you or bad ones. Bad versions of roses are red. Violets are blue, it smells like poo. Oh yeah, but there's like mythology like in ancient Greek. The sun cubed was stung by a bee and he accidentally shot arrows into a rose garden when Venus walk through the garden and pricked her foot on the thorns droplets of blood turn the closest rad, so there's all these like blood legends, so maybe he doesn't like blood
why do you imagine back in the olden days when you didn't have like all the pigments at your disposal and paint Norma yeah, you pride in sea read that much other than like in the wild. You don't see a tunnel redoubt, it's a unique offering at as oh. There is something that you aren't. You supposed to have on the rosebush. If the delay, leaves turn red if there's like a red leaf. That's bad play bad news, The bad man there's a fatal infection ochre, so it Emmi just means that plant is gone. Preserve yeah but anyway all you, horticulture, us out. There can keep an eye on the petals of your rosier, loyally before Europe, so You said there was a study at Johns Hopkins. They would treat children that were going through.
mental issues and then they said he'll treat the parents at the same time and then no will just treat the parents. Then that went up ten. I didn't find that study? There is a study at Yale. Experimental program called space, supportive parenting, four anxious childhood emotions, space, which is apparent base treatment. That is basically for child anxiety, but only dream yeah, but it's been treating the parents and like basically to educate them on how to deal with the kid, but not sending me, kidded therapy. So maybe that's what you meant, but I didn't find Johns Hopkins one. I didn't find Tempo That's all that was all the fact yeah
the lack of her. Oh, you got a surgery it and tell people lip yeah yeah. I got up sister taken on my lip and thirty six hours ago. A yeah now have some stitches in my mouth. Four stitches. I think I would even one of them out already pieces of the strain do you think you would know? I spit out the little piece of stitch You would not your deaf allies among us, impossible air fun thing about this system. It's the second one of em taken out ass, had one taken out six years ago and our good friend right. Hansen, also his head to yeah, and we both have gone in the same guy to get it taken out. I now we won't have photographs of our says at the poor doktor had to take with us, holding it with tweezers yeah
I've never heard of any one else in the world whose had this, and yet you have two friends forum combined, that's right and I My lip all the time in the exact same spot, I never have any added removed, but I've got a marble inside your ear for you, like you got a lot smaller, they all. Have? U n t or search your honor resent I was aimed Monica. We had two shows you the day of and I said you know when you have a real bad flu or cold and you keep putting off going to the doctor and then you finally an appointment and then on your way there you start feeling perfect and then you're in the waiting room and you feel healthier than you've ever felt, and then you go in there and you're like. Should I tell him my symptoms
yesterday, yeah, I'm always in that position. Frizzle will not always I barely go the doktor, but when I do it's generally thing clears up. I now so sure enough. Yesterday, I started thinking this things too small to get pulled out. It's gotten smaller yeah, mind you over the last three nine months and have had it it's gotten. Smaller, bigger, smaller beggar, kind of luxury waits shower so I went in any ways and it was a good site when he took it out. Yeah yeah. It was worth it in fact, when he felt it goes. You yawning take this one big enough for him. Take out, and then he got out of his. Oh yes was bigger than I thought I'll. Go with. You also fell like oh, no, you ever really friends like trying to stand up and leave But at the last thing I want to do end up in two months. It's even bigger a yes and I can't find a fuckin two hours three to get at dawn. Yes, I worked out. Oh, I wanted to tell people that
this must have we not pursued aired, and that was the one where the year I was popped out when we were recording a fact check that day, and we were talking about yeah. I rode here I gathered on during the factual, yes, and they could see it. If they'd like yeah Yes on Hulu Hulu really laughing. It's a good show a lot of funds until late that you liked when she said who's here, I then lying got a laugh audio big time, a report at all oh good. I told have I loved her the whole time, she's so funny another advertisement for women, We were in that we were eating less days scene was eating Christmas dinner like a huge,
cable scene with icon on ten of us here, and I said hey on, I know sometimes it's hard to eat a lot and scenes is you have to eat for like two hours as they set up all these different camera angles? Ice Wanda, wet your appetite, nice led my phone over was the picture of the two rain on it, a man of good photo. He I get found out seen a unicorn in the wild, its posted every law If you want to see a safety picture as we than a warning card he up? You did a great job bank. Why love you love you and I hope you feel part of the best part of my life. I feel a party or life idea. This is the best part of my life. I feel I mean I wish I could go back in time, a watch, your whole life and be there too, but I am happy that your cheer meets scream when you win, I would really begun. The most bizarre cannot audience when you want to stay,
oh. You should see the video of my dad. he doing it was so it was really embarrassing at the time- and now I am makes me really feel warm when I think about that, but he so excited being up and down at all, because you remember the rosy animated I've ever seen him even the anonymity frantic here. While I was not only what I want to go to see your flying act, but I don't I'm looking immediately at Ashok when you guys want so I could see his over Christmas, attract lease I'll. Try a guy. I ask for a Christmas commitment here, o k E. I love you. I love you.