« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Lena Dunham

2018-10-29

Lena Dunham (Girls, Tiny Furniture, Camping) is an American actress, writer, producer and director. Lena sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss body image in Hollywood, how she handles haters on social media and the series of events that led to her showing Brad Pitt her underwear.  Dax and Lena commiserate over their autoimmune disorders and they discuss the process of relationship growth. Lena talks about her recent path that’s led to deep self-exploration and Dax tells of the time he rescued Lesley Arfin from the basement of the Maritime hotel. 

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Allow hello hello Perhaps our I welcomed armchair expert, I'm your house Miss backs the great up so today, very powerful, beautiful woman, smart tangent dedicate woman, craters show called girls Love Girls- I'm here to. Why are you here? I'm here you want the girls. I love yeah, well known him, and now I'm gonna break I wanna be sincere about Lena ok, so you did a good, ok, not to my liking, but I did it Mozilla together. The second thing I want to get into K, which was be? How do we can now or forty eight hours away? Could you have on him doing now, following a lecture. Happy hallowing! Oh, yes, good track. Archery smell my fate
smell, Matvey. Give me something good to eight allies. Knickers Mars, Twix Mars, a lucky newgate like a baby, a baby girl out a bay, Graham, what is it my hundred grand underground lab hologram? Also, why brute baby Ruth S, luck, Gila, large scale, chair and took a tree smell, they say it's nice to have. You hear me somethin, I stay city Yes, poor Lena, she deserves a better intro them be than me having to do a character and then do a Holloway ingredients. Vassili. Third billing too. She has an hour. She has a long time to beyond this episode. Matthew can be on for a few minutes. Russia, for do you so much Mister
so Lena Dunham is here today, which is why we felt like a very big getting time here. The wing we're we're elated when she said yes, you so funny. Harrison boy. We can always not even get into the studio, because we started chat outside when she arrived in the driveway that could turn into its own three our conversation so personable, very personal, very smart, very funny, ass. You fancy As you know, she created in starred and directed Girls HBO. She has a new show. Her new show camping his out yet in stars I know it does edge may liner and were trial on Roma, the pirating. Polly wouldn't want to happen. Media would not move all send formation. Who would almost armor show camping all that's true. He began eight fur Islam budgeting. I shall start well because I'm in the show pampering but alongside Lena done, is hard for me. Don't like an immeasurable,
has been going on for a long time because I gotta put my tongue and a weird spot is ours? Can you describe what physically, as happened so disturbed? He had put your finger on. It puts ringer on turkish trade, but we are only part of it has to do with your eye. Contact all its Circling tat severe normal gave up when what is its end trial? I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I Lena Dunham clean. Dunham. We lover sheep, livered, please enjoy Billina Dunham. We are supported with I listen love by square space. Felicitous show. You know that we built our website arm. Chair expert pie. dot com by we I mean Wabi, while built it on square space. Monica doesn't are website get you. Or motor runnin. That's a Brad, but I do think it's the best website honour him business and
good thing about square space, is theirs beautiful templates that are created by world class designers. They make it so easy to build your own website. You could showcase your work, blogger, publish content self products and services of all kinds of. We want even ask what services your providing promote your physic. Or online business announced an upcoming event or special project. or its incredibly easy. It's a world class webs, they can be designed at square space, dot com head to Square space doc, Slash Dax for a free trial and when you're ready to launch used to offer Code Dax to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or no mean that square space, dot, com, Dax and our code day, Exe
he's not so happy, I'm so happy. Looking in new ways of your door list. ass. I dont believe we ve man in Rio, We I've seen you at events. Ultimately, you ve never engaged. We ve never engage in. As I see you now, this happens that we both meet famous people in jail They fall into one of two categories where there are more attractive in real life or their less attractive in real life in looking at your feet, I'm overwhelmed with how cute it is not that I didn't think you're on screen presence was it but I'm really enjoying this real life version of that means so much because in. Firstly, age pulled up, and I was like, oh when you came out in your overalls like this it down to his do: Cati motorcycles,
this is a gentleman with an enormous amount of swagger. Are we New York were handsome cells one. But that means a lot to me. I truly because I don't think a ton about the looks thing like I've been going to a bit of a have been going to have been a phase where Van filling all down on my son, I died texted, my best friend Scotty, the other night and told her that I couldn't leave the house because I was I said, I'm I'm. I look like a piece of dough. Ok sure and she had a great answer. She was like she was like. You know. What will she's very pregnant she's. A better excuse to you, like a piece of dough Moonrise like she's, like I'm, a pizza, oh right now, and peace at ease of dough. Next will probably I've been not appease adobe foreign. won't be one in two years, but right now just kind of owning ends, since let that dough, Bacon the sun nice yeah, that's nice, because you know it's what's tricky is its tempting,
many things can be happening simultaneously, so you can be embracing who you are right in learning the love that person and that's healthy and wonderful. We should all aspire to do that and then yet you're, also just an animal em, all human being in you, wanna, look your best, whatever the the The zone of that is that you ve come to like accept about yourself. You gonna, wanna, be hitting the top of that zone are desires. Of course, yeah it especially you know, a line of work. You cannot help but think about. Your looks. No and you can't help but think about it, and you also can't help but think like I have this thought sometimes you're, sunlike, okay, so I came this job being you know, I don't have a I'm, not I'm not the archetype, like actress lady, but people have accept. Then I look a certain way, but then I'm link, if I go even more that way like as you get off,
Sometimes you gain five or seven or ten pounds or you're unhappy with some changes or you Goethe, or your go on steroids for a little bit or whatever happened now, not from muscle building, right information, they don't take the muscle building kind. Nor do I, but I want you so bad and it is occurred to me my fantasy was always well, maybe I'll into, but one of those superhero movies and I'll have an excuse to do it for like six months as an experiment and just how it feels like walk around there's a big walk like just to experience. That feeling are you interested in the also like the fact that when you took steroids, you'd be like speedy out of your mind and convinced your God will. That is the part that is potentially
I can't do it. Yes, I have add friends who have done steroids and theres many different kinds in some of them. Don't give you there and then some of em? Yes, I've had France's like you, you can't do this. I feel like I've done one line of coke all day, long yeah, a hundred percent, so data deal breaker for me right. Yes, it would be ideal beggar for me tail, but its eight, some below. I take the stories from inflammation because I have an auto immune illness or some. How do you do when you want? Do you have sorry attic arthritis himself? certainly you, two warning very sexy disease. Sorry Eddic Arthur, I well! I don't want to flip you out, but I have a combination of undifferentiated, makes connective tissue disorder and Ailer Danleigh syndrome. Side of enemy trio's as Alien Dandler Syndrome is a hard diagnose and fairly rare genetic mutations. Few different varieties of it
Doktor Howard levy at Johns Hopkins to help me find out about this. It basically means you don't like enough colleges in your active tissue. So does the version I have. I don't have the vast aversion, and so it means like some of the symptoms would be like increased flexibility, but also like D, increased flexibility and mobility, but decreased stress, and joint path and does also other word Savelich sensitivity, the golden eat and are you inordinately flexible. I'm gonna show you something tell the viewers at home ok, I'm at daily Ass, I gonna. So what Lena has done is basically folded up her thumb like a wallet and put it behind her hand. The top of her hand, not on the palm side. I can even bookcase so my earthrise targets there yeah. I can't even get it behind that finger there. That's maxed out. What do you do? I'm says: how have you had it?
and what do you do to take care of it? So it's interesting is I've had it for going on nine years, but for four or five of those years I had no idea was that I just thought. Oh, my feet are swell there must be motorcycle injury related monitoring. I need need surgery. All these things are happening that felt like injuries. I guess and also the information from arthritis will settle in injuries previous injuries, so I got all this make sense. This knee hurts I got whatever and then I had a dermatologist who knew I was kind of kept going all these different joint doctors, and he said you know I think you might have psoriatic arthritis with your rheumatologist. He looked at me for five seconds. Look at my fingernails he's like you. Have it I'll run test, but I can tell you right now: you have it and then that then I started a different course of treatment, but I'm curious if you think like I do in that. I think we're all allergic in this is kind of a lefty thing to, but
in general, we eat so many different kinds of foods and that were all allergic to different foods. We don't know or allergic to and that in the symptom can be sorry, Eddic arthritis. It can be your condition. It can be all these different, auto immune conditions. I Billy believe that there is some reason I carry ranch. Guilt and shame is because, yes, so I also really serious Endometriosis head to get hysterectomy last year, like I've been do the Ringer health wiser, and so, unlike yeah, I'm sick. That's you know of a thing that just hence to somebody's, doesn't happen to others. But I am convinced that if I were to be just like a slightly more, they were to be a personal slightly more like willpower and force of energy. That, like I would be. I would feel that baby, like forty seven percent better and every time I crawl into bed, I have like em a haze, a blanket of guilt. Sure they ask me me too, and just in general, are you prone to gild, I'm like
allied it's my taste use addiction is feeling shitty about myself. I feel sure about myself. I feel I literally the only time I feel relief in life is when I get for the three seconds after I get attacks from someone. That's like it's. Ok, don't worry about it, ah ha and it's like that feeling of someone be like or like. No, no, you didn't do anything wrong or please. Thank you so much for tat yeah, but it's not an issue that has made it Does this condition led to you, I'm creating elaborate theories and why people are upset at you or yes? But what said yes, a hundred percent, but what sort of become complicated in my life is that I was always incredibly guilty and obsessed with the idea of the different people. Had issues of man didn't like me, but now that I'm a public person, lots of people. I don't know, have issues of man, don't like me, yeah and some of it for things that I totally new would be provocative and strange to now. I have to deal with the duality
and also the part of it. That is like a total self fulfilling prophecy and created by me and that's information. None of us really wants about ourselves. Yes, I would submit the dude think at all like, There are many times right. Think like all this, Job of mine has been this crazy blessing. It's almost like immersion therapy right worth like you're, a German felt they make you jump and dumpster or whatever. So I have a lot of quota pansy things, in this job as force me. You can't have this job and not learn to set boundaries or Europe die. A hundred per cent We realise no one else actually cares. What happens to you grow on such a scale. me a story. She was like twenty two and we were barefoot on SAT knows getting hot. She said the last movie I was on. I was barefoot. It was in a really dirty dangerous place of wages, coded the bottoms of my feet with super glow? let me why I was like a guy who did what if you and say no reason coat,
Fucking super glow, absolutely and and also then, and in public some. The way I had to confront this whole thing was like, if I'm with my kids and I'm at the airport, I'm very friendly I dont want to interact with people cause. I know, let's our time and I feel bad that you know they have to share me with other people. Whatever. Soldier in general, I'm pretty directs every four out as a family, just like hey. This is our time and nice me, but I gotta keep movement and many times. People walk away, and I like that, guy's a fuckin, asshole and I've had to just get comfortable with the notion that you know what there are gonna be a lot of people on this planet. They think you're an asshole, but I have to pray ties, my family, my friends, and I also have to remind myself in those its rightful shitty do any of my friends. Think of as always is anyone that really knows me think I'm a fucking us all- and I don't think so so, but then anyone who knows you I've been hearing about you for years. Like me, you know back when twins.
only pursue to prevent criminals and no doubt scabbard, we had a friend, common Leslie Orphan Leslie, our Fanny ass she's, the greatest, and so she would talk about you and like. I couldn't believe that there is a famous person who was so nice and it's like should always be. Luckily, I would stress I called Dax Music, you all Dax. I didn't think that I figured you like on a yacht somewhere with like to sell bunch and sitting on Thursday I did, and now I'm sure wish. I had had that experience, prouder machine all down. There get me through some lonely knights and that's why I thought it was. They call, I dont think any of your friends and you're an asshole, maybe one, but I have met them, you're sure go ahead on the day issues of implementing a things, I'm an answer, but she comes back pretty quick around a lot. I see a lot of sides. That's true are all assholes all facets, yeah! No, let's also true here, Doktor Leslie, really
What do you know how we met? You know that story, maritime hotel. Can you detail it for me? Thou? Yes, it's one of my favorite ways to have met someone, so I was therein, New York, shooting baby Mama that that hotel, for, I guess six weeks, you're really gotten, maybe mama. Thank you so much help network your proud of a one hundred percent, but no it's great about It is like occasionally you do something for entirely the right reason, which is that I just want to be around Tina Name, Amy being funny. That's I zero aspirations for myself and that what we have just like all my gotta get to go. Watch those to do their thing. you can write me a check on fraud, amazing, amazing, so soon maritime hotel and every morning I like to drink coffee, so I get to order coffee from room service, but there's no room service at the maritime hotel. You have to call the operator and an operator, I guess, relays the message to the kitchen I had at this point: Doktor Leslie Orphan, on the phone, probably forty
The times is the one. Already morning, every morning my carbon angle, haze of lovely, I got by the way. I just want to add that I think this is complete horse shit that you have to right now, my order and relay at they should just let me give it to them see. You know how to deal with this and she goes. Oh, that's just the Tipp of the horse. it iceberg of what's going on down here and I got all what's going on down there, you Kosovars first, while I'm in a basement d, When you talk to me, I'm in a basement and my oh, my god, they ve got you in a basement. So we started, for twenty minutes like I'm his lying in bed. Talking with this gale find her so her interesting, almost no fine, she's so funny she goes on. Hey, listen. I want to take my cigarette break, so I'm going to go out front. I go I'll meet you down there, so I get on my clothes I meet her on the sidewalk. We talk for another thirty minutes. We just There were both in the similar programme, which has now I shall immediately bonding, and then she go
Oh, I wrote this book and am I a while you ve written a book? I want to read it so she gets me a copy of deer diary. I read it Sir, fast? I love it incredible. I give it Amy, polar onset among you'll love, this book, well, pullers orphans, favorite, favorite, favouring yes, favorite, favourite and then so polar reads. Loves. It writes her little now. I didn't give it to orphan. This develops into this friendship foreseen at coming. the delay in was taking Andrew Means, and I kind of was I like to think somewhat of a mentor to her you, where I remember, he felt very kindly addiction, state or house at some point they can. Your couch for night did so passive. I hope there. Yes, raw, like she ought to get a car. I update or car she attends. You gotta currently hounded one night and I had a driver to go, get her car something Grey Zone ICE there's some about. I just really was rooting for so much, but in then
You played a really huge role in her life and that's what this does is goes directly into girls. Witches didn't you discover First, writing. Job was on girls in it. You discover her through twitter yeah. I thought she was so funny. on twitter? I thought she was so smart and interesting and weird and like she gives us like a really nice if ever a view to a snack, flew like yours, just like them. Personally, like oh yeah. No, I want to be watching you, this person a medium anti and so when we are trying to come up with writers for the show she and I had been damning, as the kids Asia and asked her to meet me at aroma, coffee, unhoused in street, and why we can't, I really was obsessed for a summer. There was a summer where, like my major vice, was like eating these rights. Lee Insane, cheese, sandwiches and aroma coffee like eight or nine in a daze all sitting in watching him will pass that sums heavenly Cairo was grey like. I would feel pretty bad about Miss
at the end of the day, the well it was happening. I was like I'm an adult and part of being an adult as you feed as many jobs. Because, as you want in a one twenty four hour period, some Leslie kind of came to my office in a Roma and we knowledge, clubhouse, Macy, Cheese, sandwich clubhouse, and we chatted and I just loved her and we ve had some of the great experiences of life there's something I love about. Our friendship is that she wrote on the first two seasons of the show she went off to do other things in my life, and I bet you can relate to this as it got really big lots of career opportunities, river and also about really small like I, my personal life as the world expanded, I made my personal life really tiny. I was very scared and I also didn't create a lot of space. My day was divided into like working or like lying. the pillow on my face. I didn't understand and other mode, so looking back can recognise that, and probably a lot of people who were really important to my life. I forgot to
Klute and I forgot to checking on them and so Leslie and I had a long period where you know we would check in with each other. We didn't we spend time together and in that time she got married. I was lucky enough to be at her wedding and so then I would have seen you there. I saw you at her wedding, that's right off somewhere in the coolest wedding, Rusty's speech I left by the way oh yeah, that came with your therapists Eleanor in the listeners. I just want you guys to know that I'm just gonna, let Doktor John know. What's going on, I found free through therapy an armchair experts, so so? I don't have to join. You take a past uranium. Literally. Everyone in my life is like so I've been working on this. That brag had been. organic winter gloomily. But I want to know if you're not to say that say because there was a paparazzi picture of me showing Brad Pitt, my underwear, so my mom was horrified
but she was. She was I'm happy for you. My mommy thinks I'm really funny but she's in a private way, but she wishes that there was less like she wishes that I'd like kept it fun at Christmas, but that there was a little less it like a public sure ass back to it. My mom's, like a like, oh she's, an artist which is like a nice jewish girl from Long Island who thinks that, like underwear, should be kept to person his wearing them? Does she think it's indulgent of you? A hundred per cent yeah? She would say a lot to me when I was growing up like a lot of like well. At least you think you're funny, a thing like my motto: horrid things. Every time she's been interviewed, she's like I always thought Lena was actually at you know. I just always thought you was trying all kinds of things and they didn't work. But if other people think she's funding, that's great, ok, but gentle soul would she can or maybe what she's not realising is you're just doing your thing at the Christmas Party, but there are just people around taking
you're not asking for it to be public now I do other things that are more sure ass you like, but I did not know when I showed Brad Pitt. My answer to that. That was when I was at an ASEAN or just real life life. That's great, It was that he asked what a cupid all was, and I happen to have one tattooed on my side. So I thought a minute. You know I've got the illustration, were young, my body It's been the next ten minutes describing it orally or just let his eyes gaze upon my tie, yeah just anybody enjoyed that. You know what I want to believe is like he probably doesn't have that many people just gone like show you what
its brightly I'll show you my underwear early, I figure. There's not a lot of just like good goods died, New England, a wide berth. You England's not showing him their underwear. So like this. This is this circles beautifully back gas, which is, I dont think people underestimate how isolating success is in its so counter intuitive. But I have friends in her. You know infinitely more successful than myself and I've seen it. It just gets very isolating unless you you really fight against it have a game plan. It's not just gonna naturally happen. So, let's talk about just the experience of, I guess. Maybe at being an outsider. Looking I'm feeling like you're an outcast cinemas, fear that mean kind of your own Persona, you looking at right, yeah left punk,
in the EU. We liked Leslie cause she's punk raw gray. Less is a definition of punk. Rock Leslie is the most pencroft person. I've ever met lawyer and she so program that when she does minutes nerdy she just like owns it and makes it like. I were we drove around. I lay we're both new tellingly issues like drive around and get a hot dog and sing along to the rent, sound tracks, yeah which, if I didn't Highschool I'd, want to shoot myself in the Visa Leslie made, it seem cool to do it right or like lousy, be like yeah, where you're pajamas to this premier like who gives a shit were I also what was cool about Leslie she's doing all that and she sober like I, like someone who's a lunatic. I feel that way which is like it doesn't take drugs to make me alone attack. Laying rights. Dealer is never took drugs was,
be less of a loan attack, but it's interesting when you have a little bit of an identity, were you feel like I'm an outsider or misfit or I'm punk rack are all these things and then you get kind of accepted by the popular people. It can be weird transition right. You can kind of either a feel fraudulent or be this. crossed the people who are now accepting you there's a gull. These insecurities that arise right. All events, and also I used have a feeling, like I dont, think what I do is for everyone, like I dont think my story is for everyone. I don't think my experiences for everyone, so sometimes I'd be having these people express appreciation of what I did or like act as though they related to me- and I would have this thought, which is probably not very generous right Blake, but you can't possibly get it, which means that we're having a false interaction, which means as entire thing is bullshit, well then you turn into that like a great kid whose, like out like Green Day, any more because everyone likes green day, yes, but I felt that way about myself. Myself was green day.
in a way we have. This expression call that we all suffer from terminal uniqueness, why my favorite experience here with Big Reserve can unique. There were a favorite expression. My fair thing that my mom does is all tell her something that my fair Pistole me and shall love it and then, a week later, I'll figure out that she's using at one hundred percent wrong make some wardrobe theories of unresolved. When I told you the expression terminal unique is, I think Leslie told it to me and I loved it, and I was like you know: dad suffers from a real case of terminal uniqueness and then later issues. I can also see that an I also suffer from terminal uniqueness, just being so unique that your entire life, no one gets ass. He was not in on the job. He also said to me: this is a favorite. My therapist is begin to accountability. What's accountability, it means everyone has to be accountable.
Maybe you're right! This is that there is a couple little clues of just maybe some light narcissism is in the mix. They're just little number, not gonna label for that. But you know of last what I meant to say what went on she's like my Pierrot, but like I think, as she's got an older she's. She would tell you this she's gonna be sixty nine times oh guy sexy, sixty nine, but she looks good and something about your music as she's got an older, her capacity to lick indoor anyone else's bullshit she's, just a steamroller steaming through the world and she's, just like especially cause she's, a female artist, and she like really duped it out in the seventies and eighties to do what she does. Yes, now she's just kind of setting. The into like eccentric glamour, puss with a jewel on her shoe, and it's like a really. It really works for her on that score,
I d like to learn the right to just kind. That's a hundred percent vibe. Can I just say that this is an incredibly soothing room and, like my friend told me recently that if you a tune to another person for twenty minutes that it can have the same effect as like taking a downer like your body, you're nervous system, your CNN, your central nervous system, dislike taps into new mode, and I really feel like I came in here. A little jangled looking at my weak, not taking a moment by moment but taking a day by day and stressed out way, and you have just like landed, plain: oh wonderful, that's fantastic! Thank you for that. Now go back to so you, u directed a movie, tiny furniture and that's would open up the door.
For girls, and you start getting recognising getting attention and which is very tricky to navigate. Guy was twenty five I had just turned twenty five, always Argentina. First season I turned twenty six exactly a month after girls came out, but I was a young twenty six I lived with my parents. Now I've never had a real boyfriend like I got my first real boyfriend that year before that, I'd just sort of like data, both, but I'd never had like a true relationship. Partnership yeah, I was extremely well you suspicious of that person. Was that part of any of this? I had two aspects of maturity that I was pretty stunted like fearful little person when I finally met my long term boyfriend Jack still, a close friend of mine we broke up last year is just like a fun olive neuroses and talent and joy, but he was in a similar moment. His band had like the number one hit in America. So was leg. That's all we are young that you couldn't escape for an entire summer and now
ever again, and so we are sorry like in a similar mode, and so we can adjust grabbed each other, like yeah life, raft style and went for area. So I was really like. I wasn't like a worldly twenty sex who I was like a freaked out, twenty six right yeah. It was a lot and you dont want to be the pursues like boots. Getting famous was scary, but I was I had a lot of trauma that I hadn't worked through. I was a super stressed out. I had like a serious physical, I must have been diagnosed yet I wasn't like exactly primed wasn't like she's got a good physical fitness regime. She gets great amounts of sleep already go like heroes like this is a person who could be knocked over by the wind, did any moment, and I have it's weird and again this is up thousand percent projection. Latvia, got I'm trapped in my own experience, which is Please help. I saw you on girls and I am
We had the same reaction. I think many people had which was like I'm so in the fact that she's this confidante getting bear naked all the time and it so refreshing in its definitely not seen a minimally if it was only that, like oh shit, it's rare that I dont as I see something new, so you order I'm already excited intimidated by the whole thing is I have not seen it, but then the projector in me. I had this kind of theory about it and I'm just curious if it's at all true I'd love to you're, ok. So when I was in junior high in high school and I felt like a fuck, I can't do that feathered hairstyle that everyone's going and I'm not pulling off the look with those genes. In that thing I feel like I can't compete in that and that's why punk rock appealed to me so, like you know what fuck that I'm having a mohawk, I can't do that. Hairstyle
love to. But I have colleagues- and I can't do this side- part in all the stuff, so I feel so insecure trying to do this thing. I don't seem to be succeeding that then I'm gonna yell fuck, you I'm taking myself out of this game, and this is my declaration that I don't care about your judgment. Of course I did a lot, but it was my way of going fuck you I'm not playing your game suit. You can judge mail, you want, but then, ironically, those looks worked for me. He and to close, I chose worked for me and I think people are Oh me, sought is like kid. So brave he's like he's wearing size. Fifty two pants enough for Ex Champion sweatshirt news dread likes. He he's so confident, but really it was a reaction to going on. I don't feel like I can do. The cooking cutter versions are going to reject it and I just hundred was your thing just going like, I feel
by you. So I'm gonna out. Do you a hundred per cent, and my thing was always like I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna hit the punchline before you. Can you know when we have those experiences in formative years of not being seen? The way we want to be seen like a big memory of mine is, like you know, in the summer before you start school, you like you're, like I'm remaking my dad in summer, and I'm so. I would think about my first day of school outfit. Every minute of every day I would fantasize it. I would talk about it to my therapist, my mom. I would game it out. She was great at doing that with means. My mom is like a real queen of like finding like, like I'd, be like listen. I can't go back to school allocates paid back and should like, while we can't afford that, but I'm in a figure it out and we're gonna like my mom was a person like found Atomic Archie somewhere, you ain't no one day she just a queen, so I remember clueless had just out and as it stands with clue, ass, and so my mom's like that he was of a character share. Ok, while the hope
the whole see whatever incredible, and I was a tie. Obviously, but I wanted to be a share. We all wanted to be sure, and none of us were share and not a visitor one year apart by the way, discuss how old are you? Thirty one love thirty, two killing it yeah six. Eighty seven love! Thank you so much. Oh yeah, it's a specific, so we were in the same moment. Work Louis happen huge deal, so my mom almost like. We found a many backpack got. These sketches how does it feel Nissan skirt? You get her pigtails and then I might. the first day of school. You know you of your real backpack and then the many backpack is a fashion thing and I was like I'm limit. Splinter runs, gonna fucking slip out, I'm suddenly enemies, slipper popular cause, I'm gonna, and then I got back to school literally, somehow no one had seen clueless yet what the first thing they did as they were like we're not doing class this morning linked to like bond all the fourth critters we're doing dodgeball answer. Suddenly I might mean dodgeball in my high heeled sneakers and my many backpack. Let us remember the killing of like peanut.
myself to the wall as tight as you could possibly fucking go to avoid the ball and just being link. This is held life is hell. Tat is so tie it so tat if he is our industrial Blake for me, that was an odd thing of trying and expectations versus the outcome. That's a big and those are my fever kinds of characters to write our people, whose perception of themselves and the world's perception you think I'm crazy gap like logo and those laws, characters characteristic play but lay off exists between the procedure itself and the presence of one hundred percent is a joy and pleasure today to ensure their way you are supported by me young these. We are supported. My me unease at noon.
economy, a memory Marianne, these names that he never asked me to write, and I did anyway YAP twist Monica yeah a spring in your step last week, I so what's goin away you in such a good mood and use it. I got some special in the mail from me and a gag special seas. an pair jack, o Lantern print, so cool for Halloween, so cheeky intended. Listen me on, I can say enough about em the most comfortable thing you could put on your body there. Three times softer than cotton are made of micro modal fabric, and let me tell you there also in the business of lounge, pants and t it's so nice on. My scant yeah me unease as a great offer for my listeners for any first time purchasers when you purchase anemia. These you get fifteen percent off an free shipping. This isn't no brainer get fifteen percent off a pair of the most comfortable undies you'll ever put on to get your fifty
percent of your first bear. Free shipping in a hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, go to me and these dot com slashed ex. That's me: Andy's dot com, slashed acts, armchairs supported by quip, Quip, the coolest electric toothbrush out there Monica yeah, I'm always urging university for two minutes and I you knew, but do you run a timer now that's what circle about quip every thirty! consider remind you to switch sides keeps on track that is about to brush for the recommended two minutes convenient. Also brush heads are on actually delivered on a Dennis recommended schedule. Every three months for just five box, Savior trip to the stored go through that long. I'll was seven thousand options, listen they're, backed by over twelve thousand dental professionals. Quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you go to get quip dot com slashed Dat
right now you get your first refill pack for free with equip electric toothbrush that your first refill pack free at d e t q, you ip dot com, slashed acts, now. I also think we had a similar experience. As I understand it, my life completely changed permanently by meeting my best runner weekly errand. Was your higher power? Air was my higher power, and I understand that you in my had this. Did you change your life, a hundred percent, because she thought I was called a hen? I wasn't and your mama was cool Jeremiah Let us move only right, that's shocking link. She has her own intense pain and challenges, as she would tell you and ass. She would tell the world but like she was just a person, also link if she wore like a giant he sure, from Miami Airport. Suddenly I wanted a giant measure on the Miami Airport like she's. Just she didn't follow
any trend already knew she never had a thing that look like another person. Staying like she was so fucking cool and when she got to, I knew she was we had met, and then she switched schools to my school. She was, greater and I was an eighth greater, not that usual for a high school or to talk of a middle school are and one day she was like sitting on the stairs and she was lake. come here and, like I remember the feeling of her like patting the stairs by her and meeting like I'm lamps peel and then it was just like it was on, and it took me time to realise that She wasn't no about to play a prank on right, like don't mix blood over your head at the job inside dance by she's a it's amazing, not hurt like she literally remembers the name like I remember. Everyone went icicle with. I remember how they looked at me. Our when I gained the whole thing out you, my mom literally can't. Look if I say that we had the exact same school experience. If I say to her like
Becky robes yeah. She would never have no clue. She isn't remember single fucking person from my high school she's. Remember she made outlets, thereby have very little power over her. She somehow had this crazy compass rider Miss like two months at school year, like the most miserable days for me where the death, if amendment insane parts per se, Her life was so fucking. She was called me and was like. I remember I was my leg landline rang and it was dry man. She was like if we're going to impart if you can get a ticket, but we do not have to pay for anything. My parents and I was like it's something amazing happened if we get a ticket to save our that might look like you ve school tomorrow, we're not fine you fucking ticket to Saint far Are you not yet what on earth right? resort to hang. Your old is allowed to buy a ticket same barrio hang out with russian oligarchy problem like a February schools, a budget aware, yeah
you, my mother, always somewhere. She was always like music or she's like a character, included list always share she's a full share, I mean it's like she's a year. Oh she's, Edi Cedric she's, all the things also the weirdest detail, what you're my my she's always early! Oh Gunnar intuitive? I'm like an anxious guilty, like fastidious person whose late to everything and you're my much like a person who, like seems not to give a shit and as I can never missed an appointment in her life, yeah she's always surprised showing serving his errand weekly, Sir, they are best. Oh yeah yeah he's coming this weekend with his kid and we're gonna have already met so nice NEA per year. We were we, whereupon he was one of the toughest kids, all the Tri Swedish guy nice smile also could not dies out who messed with us. It was a little I felt very safe. We both have very fucked up childhood
clean and have males around us. We snuggled is kids, my mom, but we were gay for awhile like we were each other's male presents were yes, Cairo, Airway Green, you kindly dad at each other up big time, every parent at each other yen. I won't ever love a human being. In my life, like I love air weekly I mean I just were fuse down a cellular. bubble is really nice, so does Jamaica, give you a confidence that then you may be built oh, how son is that the foundation or my overstating men know it's pretty big venture, my musings, pretty big and she's such a big part of lake, like you, know, she's a big part of everything I've ever done professionally, which is not an accident I was like you come with me like it made me feel like I could make a movie that choose their meetings like. I could make a show that she was there still makes me feel like I can do it like incident masterly want to correct. When you put on her all you isn't she tried to quit like three times larger quit after the first instrument could, after the seconds ease and finally, after the fourth seasons, using, I think, I'm staying for a good cause. You sign it
contract for six even say that's good wages, but he didn't give a shit and now she's like now. I really want to make more things with her in them and I think we're figuring out what they are, but she's also a painter, and she has two kids, seven musical, very rich lifelike shall go on some kick and jewellery by like ninety in vintage baby shirts. She does not currently have a baby. My like nineteen vintage baby shirts with like Disney characters on them from the forties, You should be like a curator at a super fancy boutique and issues I'm wearing today. She had them at my house and I just thought they were so. Why is it? Can I have them, and yet they were five dollars and I might There are the most beautiful thing: either they are still every time and a lot of times also. Can I haven't about a thing. It will be really fancying shall say: yeah Rachel, I'm looking for a diamond earring of hers that she let me that I now can't located
ravages rude. But if someone lens you enough diamond earrings you're just well, though stop eventually yeah, that's what you'll know she's actually pisses you'll ask her to borrow some issues that can you do it? I'm done the others and unhealthy relationship by our whole dynamic. Like four years she's been like. You know, like a big thing, was tat. I was sick for a long time, so we'd make a plank as I really want to do it, and then they built I'm sick and she'd be like I- and I know that that men she was mad and I call her you just be like. I don't know if I can do this again I dont want to make plans the or at the then really what you want. I was for me to be like I'm sorry, I love you or do you want to come over? I did you want to come over and then she go now but like she wanted he asked like I've learned I've leaned into more like what her language is, and now it s fight at a role with it, and that feels better. It is I dunno especially when you're younger you have all these definitions of what it means for you to love somebody. So I've had friends like this, where they did.
Failing me and my mind, because they were doing the thing that if I it would be a real, loud declaration that I don't care about you, but then you gotta remember like everyone's weird family values. Some other aspects are mine, values like loyalty in being, therefore each other. So somebody, in my opinion, demonstrated the lack of loyalty that was Michael Tommy fuck you I don't care but yeah, but in their families price up else in I'm probably triggering those things results. Using my it is a new to realize, like learning, to show up for people the way they want you to its taken me a while to be like oh You learn more the longer you're on this planet like you're, not born, knowing how to show up for everyone, and so your twenties, like my entire twenties, for lots of reasons I felt like I was fucking up all the time and I've been like wire, my third easier MIKE. Oh, maybe I like you, no more laying the shore and can avoid situation. I felt I felt my twenties were me constantly walking into seduced.
We're going. How did this suddenly become a disaster right, and I did a lot of houses happening to me and now I think a lot more about like how my happening to this. Yes, yes, moment what people do seemed to recognise and again ays, pretty good at pointing this out that self aggrandize meant equal in every way to self pity. Yep it's their both eager I'm gonna call narcissistic places to think that either you're so important or that you're the victim of some grand universe, conspiracy, you make yourself away too important and both will, I think, Mary. Oh here, the term narcissist. They often think it means somebody who, like has a really great huge sense of themselves, but I think some of the biggest nerves to say no are some of the most self hating depress tragic figures, because they have a sense that, like all of the
verses wrongs are in reaction to them right? Well, yeah, another thing again: Mamma, if a slogan, my favorite one, is I'm not much, but I'm all. I think about that man I, like someone, told me about when an alcoholics family member goes into Alan on great and others. Do people think about you all the time will they already were? That's? Why you're a good man totally, but you don't you don't have any addictive qualities, are ideal idea. I do you seem like a candidate for it. a drama here and tell me what it was, but generally there's a lot of trauma. There's a lot of anxiety. There's a lot of this feels like actually safe placed us this. I wasn't going to and you'll tell me what you think, because I think it such a kind of it such as its something I will talk about more and I'm writing about now, which has been really interesting, but I was thinking as I came rose like do I mean I was gonna tell you privately, but as I do, I say this toy not because it such a like you don't wanna, know, sir.
Advertise it and seem like yours, so prove yourself, but I've been sober for six months. I have gray I was who? Can I guess what happened yeah? This could be a fun gas campaign, so you have anxiety about the biggest epidemic, No one talks about everyone knows about the opium. Ada epidemic lover you're going with us, but what people dont recognizes that the benzel epidemic is equally is rampant. You have hit the nail on that. It's a great great too. At the beginning of it, if you have anxiety, Xanax his grey advance grace I mean you can operate in the world, yes, but the hungarian origin was Clodagh pen. Ok, come on a pen it's a very diminish returns. Answer to that problem, as is our opiates, so is that it they ve been injured percent clean up and it is a rough hang on a pen, hardly say the hot one of the hardest things the detracts from his bends owes its shocking.
Its shocking, what it feels like, and it was a real slow. I mean I've had expired. I've had my share a fair share of opiate experience because I've been so sick at times right. I've had licking oath, ten, abdominal surgeries and last three years. So while so, I know what that looks like, and I've had to take opiates for extended periods of time, three, two or three weeks getting off them doesn't feel great. Great great you're, out of you know, you got a pretty hard. for twenty four to forty six hours, YO twenty four to forty eight hours. I know how many hours or in today's debate the thing about a lot of time on the toilet. Lingerie landline, entirely like like, like Leslie, use a lot of time to read a magazine, but you don't want to. I know what that feels like the bends O saying is crazy, because it's also. Firstly, just say it is the most normalize, especially in our industry. Everyone's gonna fuckin pillon their purse.
Thing in their back. I want to make sure I have it with me because I'm going to this event, I'm gonna take out of his annex. I haven't. big lie fly alive, You don't have an eye was a real. Just like my iron, my mom saved me, This is not me by more when I was a kid you think. There's no reason to ever suffer yeah, there's no reason to ever suffer and when my anxiety was really bad, it's a kid she'd say we're. Gonna get your medication cause, there's no reason to ever suffer sure and she's right. There's no reason to put your say: you don't need to be a hero about thing I really took that to heart and when I was having crazy anxiety and I'm going to show up for things that I didn't feel equipped to show up for, I was like there's no reason for me. or another beginning or yearning. Also, probably evaluating. Will I can't do that things with without some help but you won't be doing it at, but I know I need to do it. I know we need to do it and when I take a carbon I can do it like me. I felt the thing everybody talks about in the rooms. Everybody talks. Veterans writing, which is, I feel, like the person I was supposed to be
for me I'll, go all this guy, we're friends with Gordon Keith. He said a best recite were all born to beers, away from being happy so bad and to sign up and away from being yeah, and it was just happy. It was like It was like. Suddenly I felt like their part of me that I knew was. There was like freed up to do her thing rights yet a quiet, the monster upstairs enough that you can be your boss cell and I didn't have any trouble getting a doctor to tell me. No, you ve got serious anxiety issues. You should be doing that. You should be taking this the sewer, how you should be existing right, so it stopped being I take on when I fly and it started being like I, take one when I'm awake right right, your eyes, open yeah, and then I was like suddenly build a battalions, pretty quick to Benzel very fast. So I took them on an often than I I was diagnosed with pretty serious PTSD.
After my aim, I have like a few sexual traumas in my past than I had all these urgencies than I had my hysterectomy after a period of really extreme pain, and I was diagnosed with PTSD and I was made basically its optional. If I had panic attacks in a sort of whom I was living panic attack when I do like the old I think it was notable were the moments in the day where I didn't feel like I was going to barf in Saint, and so at that point and the reason I talk about this is because I think that I know deeply. I'm not alone, and during that time you know, and by the way I was taking medication and it was I was taking on a pin, and at that point it wasn't making it better. But I just thought: if I don't take this, how much or will it get well? That's the thing is I will I'm happy for people to do anything that, as you say, prevent suffering and that that David Harbour was on here and he has the best grasp of all this way better there. I understand it, casinos, depression really really! Well, he has a great take out for what that's worth you out here.
I'm out of my death when I say, but just in general, I dont think you you should suffer, but reason I ll come out on the side of it as it began. If it really works, damn it doesn't just like for me I'll call it work for a decade, but then it does stop working and at that point now, you're double fact, because the thing that did work doesn't work now, why can you more inches and your Ivan Crazy rebounding society throughout the day and something I feel really blessed about as it stopped working and within I mean if I looked back, there was a solid three years where I was to put it lightly misusing sure benzes, even though it was all couldn't go. Doktor prescribed, and I had convinced somebody to tell me that this was the way I can read,
denies now the way that my own, like manipulation, played a part sure you oughta be borne aid as it I had a backbone for eight years old. I got sobered about problems. Donnelly lie, just not my thought was lake, I'm not being as I take pills. I take pills, I'm in pain and I'm not anxious. Gotta, take positive pills because I mean just suddenly rise that entire thing is turned on its head and the doktor who helped me detoxify benzes, which is like by the way like the one again. The reason I talk about this isn't just to be. Like look at me, I did, it is to be like people should know like nobody. I know who is prescribed. These medications is told by the way, when you try to get off this. It's gonna be like the most highly shifts acid trap. You ve ever had where you're
fucking clutching the walls and your hair is blowing off your head, and you can't believe you found herself in this situation like now. Thus literal smell of the inside of pale bottles makes me want to throw up languidly the amount of trauma I have just around that and I still feel like my brain- is recalibrate in itself to be able to experience anxiety. But even though the peaks of joy that I have experienced in my six months is right here and there there's nothing else like it on this planet. Yeah people don't recognises pills, imbues and all that stuff does very effectively help you deal with the lows
but it also then elapse off the highs. Let you use start living in a very finite zone, a basically no feeling now feelings, and I looked back at who I thought that medication was allowing me to be more myself and I actually see I can see all the things that sort of the world wrought upon me. Like I dont lay myself for my illness. I don't blame myself firm made for the sexual abuse I experienced. I don't blame myself for the physical abuse. I experience. I don't blame myself for the challenges of bee, in a woman in this world and an anxious woman in this world and living in this body, but I do see the way that I medicated myself negatively impact of people around me end decimated my decision making and hurt my creativity, and so I just feel literally like on my knees, grateful every single day at my worst
moment in my life I mean yes really hard. Things had happened to me and I am able to more clearly now see what they were and like how they were turning points. In my and, like. I always thought my whole life. I thought I'm in a work, my ass off and then I'm gonna when I'm thirty, I'm gonna get pregnant and that's gonna slow me down animal meal, and then, when I was thirty, I literally that part of my body revolted. I took had ten certain nine surgeries to try to be able to keep my uterus. Ultimately, I couldn't and it was the deepest grief. I ever had my life but before that. My last point I was in a relationship with a really amazing, loving person. Had a couple golden globes had won a couple holding love. I had an incredible career. I had a family that loved me. I owned three houses and I felt like I would go outside and like trees. Would
like they were Madison me like it was so dark and the thing that I think is so scary about and really what I care about now, like I spent a lot of time. I was twenty one. What is my cause, but I care about everything I care about human rights and justice. So it's like it's easy for me to throw my name behind a billion liberal causes that are meaningful to me because thing that I care the most about is the intersection for women of trauma, mental health and addiction, and because I just think that in that nexus is like, I can see how I would have been lost to the kind of like gravitational pull of my own pain and drowning it out, and I think we lose
So many good women. We talk a lot about like what are things that are holding women back and one of the things that I think is holding back. Besides. You know, we know it's societal bias. We know that it's, you know, there's a pay gap. We know, but also like the lack of resources around like tons of women of experience trauma. We think PTSD is like reserved for us iraqi soldier. whenever but tons of women are experiencing incredible amounts of trauma. As this past week, with Cavanaugh showed us, like, the rain hotline went down, because so many women were retrial monetize. By listening to that testimony, and so I feel like my job having survived, and you know by the gray, some God surviving every day and staying lean and staying in the world. But I feel, like my job, is to try to give a voice to that story Now, as I followed you over the years, what is infuriated me several times in where you and I die and you're so much more, revolve than I am. Is you are very
liberal you're, outspoken proponent, for a lot of meaningful change. And yet you ve been devoured by the left like five or six times, and it always fuck it infuriates me One of my complaints about our side is that we just can't wait. Devour one another and you just don't see that on the right as much indefinitely figured out how to keep the cross talk to a minimum, so to speak, like they're, really like they're in step with each other. Even if privately fucking despise each other. You like I one time stupidly referred to resolve mad on Alan as being Indian, any he is back his name was it during our armies lived in England, so he's neither. But I did that, and I got you know several hundred people calling me a racist on twitter and my knee jerk reaction was like you could be tweeting d
the duke you're racists. But you know you're using the use that energy on me. It just feels like Arthur, bigger fish too. fry than me saying that it. Why is that? Where your energies going and I get defensive, I've seen you in the face of that like apologize to people when I personally would have either been incapable- or I just I didn't think they deserved an apology. You seem to have this really benevolent like it doesn't it's not gonna, kill you paying you to just acknowledged at their her in keep it move and how do you? How do you go through those on what what happens when those things happen to you. I for sure made mistakes and I've made big mistake. Since funding as I was never drinker, I was never a pot smoker. I never did clinical recreational drugs, so it never occurred to me that my judgment could be impaired in any wakes up,
I'm just taking the medication. I need to be alive right and now I look, I'm like no all my senses, one intact, and maybe I wasn't being as sensitive or as self aware as I could have been. I'm not saying I mean there are plenty of times that I did things. People didn't like where I was stone cold in Zaire. He ridden sober, but there were also times like. I think my judgment was generally appeared by my obsessive desire to escape my own pain, and I think that the thing about apologizing another's a couple narrowly Olenin Dunham ever does get into shit and apologize for it, but I'm link Our job is that any long term relationship is just like a fucking series of appalling than those jobs can be much easier for you. I like most people. Nobody wants my apologies and their legs. New thing is I'm like how do I cause I'm such an obsessive apologize or like someone like crashes into
and I am sorry like I can't my dad used to make a rule. You'd say no more say I'm sorry today and no more thing. I love you because it would be like I wake up in a bit sorry elevator, our everything and he was like no John, so like had a meaningfully apologize and had I to people in the way that they want to be apologize to like. I want a super verbose apology in what you explain to me. What a wonderful person Amman, how I've changed your life. Somebody else make I want you to fuckin shot for their birthday party and shut the fuck ride on about yourself for fire yeah. I don't want to talk about it. Can we just go get sushi and you can be the fuck quiet is my yeah yeah, so I'm working, I gave you a man's first, yes, a living, a living amends atmospheric NEA. Was there one
No, that was harder free or you were like I'm about to apologize to somebody that I don't feel like deserves an apology. A couple public apologies ripening. I can't I can't believe I have to say to us right now like I can nobly I'm trying to think. If there's any ones, it really stand out to me right now. There's a few arrived and like. Maybe this is a good point, but the person you brought this up as a fucking asshole right. I can't live like I'll look at their, There are no me like this. Is persons called out seventy two celebrities in the last thirty two hours so helpful to occasionally look up both timelines zealots. Clearly, I don't be mad like calling at Britney spears, you're a Twa, and I might go you're, not regulating your emotions at all. No in the night quickly realized like. Oh, this person is in the hunt of prestige in a call culture in the mosaic of generic way possible. Unlike I dont need he fought for this person at whatever areas. Let a blow pass me, but it is weird,
because we have access to too many people we hear from to make people unjust, no matter what it's hard to know of what you said was ninety eight percent received in Creasy, aided or of what you said is actually offensive to forty percent of people. It's almost impossible to know it's kind of like when you have a great meal. Rarely does someone called the manager over to say like hey just one way you know, maybe my server was awesome in the food was great. But if you find a toenail in your stay, you're gonna have, I can tell you how them is a much bigger motivator. So it's hard to know what your message, whether you know, ultimately in a utilitarian, since it was a win
or if it was a blunder. Eight hundred percent and is also just like at a certain point- and this has been a big part of the last I keep seeing the last six months- and that is six months ago- is when I was like no more substances that could alter my mind are going into my body, but the last six months are also- and I was like an easy care of myself or I'm never going to make anything again like to look at my life me like I want to be an old lady, like my favorite filmmakers, Agnes Bardon she's, and changes in her late eighties, early Ninetys and she's wishes on the cover of interview magazine, chooses Sheikh batch enlighten. I wanna be fuckin eighty eight and waking up at four in the morning to like right, my magnum opus. I dont want to be thirty four and like withering away in my own guesthouse yeah. So it's like you have I just really than at certain points of the lake. Ok, there's here's where the rubber hits the road, like. I'm searching in care of myself because no longer glamorous from me to stay up all night drinking bottles, a Starbucks and lake pounding through this and then level
doing away with anxiety to Morrow, and so a big part of my last six months and also been like? How am I gonna be cool with the gap, is right about gap and perception between how the public sees me and who I know I am yeah- is even about how I see myself. It's like when I close my eyes, and I met a t like the warm like light of my own, like a central being, is like in direct opposition to the picture that's been painted of me and so like how m I gonna be ok with that, and it turns out the answers just like minute by minute hour by hour, like TAT. Stay connected to that feeling is how you're gonna be ok with it for sure, their armchair supported a Robin Hood, which is the coolest app in investing. It makes it so easy Monica I like easy and I like money, money like easy and you do want to invest. I think,
you are intimidated to invest as you go on your computer or what are you doing? What are you? What site do you go to and it's very confusing. Robin Hood is an investment out and let you buy, sell trade options, stocks, crypto, currencies, all commission free, out there to make this a service that everyone can use, not just wealthy people, it's very, very easy to use. It's got a clear design, there's also cool things like you could follow many of their different collections like Hunter most popular stocks or entertainment, social media, very very, very simple: you can trade a stock in just four taps on your smartphone very easy to use Robin Hood. Is giving listeners a free stock like Apple Ford or Sprint, to help build your portfolio sign up at all arm chair DOT, Robin Hood dot com, that's arm, chair, DOT, Robin hood dot com,
so heavily on our germano once or twice a day christen knows earn. She came over one time to our house I said to her like hey. Can I talk to you on the side here about some I didn't movie with Adam Driver I loved him from girls. I was excited meet him in it turns out were he's from a little town of Michigan right next to wear my grandparents owned a motel now we'll and we're gonna get on famously, and I was like, oh my god, you're from cold water, like my grandparents, hotels and Sturgis sinews. I augur and as I already do, that that's that about I was there and then we had to promote this movie together. Edwy DR evil is very MRS. Where are you going up and I tried maybe three other times to connect with them? Never door was never cracked. The cap knocking So I said to my my ceta me and she goes No, no. He was kind of like that in a drove all of us, crazy US girls at House like what a superpower
as I be smart enough to just not give any we were all I can say this year's out. We were nuts for Adam drawing attention. Present, gives it in dribs and drabs he's not mean right, use John coming in he's doing his job. So well, maybe not looking like gab with you about your calcraft service. A key is doing his fucking job and I think you can tell when he does. Press like Adam is there to like do the best version of the fuckin thing and get out, and I definitely like as a especially before I was a little more like emotionally regulated as like an like up people, pleasing ass, say those approval junkie. I was constantly putting myself in the path of Adam driver. If your listening, I'm sorry about how many times you're just looking at your script, and I was standing in front of you, presented you with two different apples and asking which, when you might like to eat like I was just an and if I couldn't get it I'd like did, I do something
Is there something I like Adams Behaviour? It was a great example of, like my narcissism was me being like Adam seems a little time today. I dont know what I did and it's like, maybe you just like he was like working on his lines like, but yes, it's, a superpower and Ladys go call. Is he friend Oliver? Oh, are you hear me on the run? I got no business with him, we're not going to fuck here Obviously the coolest and in every sense of the word like I always in the definition of like a cool goal. Person is like the kind of don't seem like they're like moving on your time. Clock but I have like never known a pro were man and he so good on personnel. I didn't see you but I'm curious always graded it, because it's an interesting thing which is accuse. You know like when you meet him quite of quite a serious focus, gentlemen, but he's look he's down clown, moving in the right context, he's down to clown he's a deeply supportive person into a scene with like, even if you just put your hands on your shoulder, you're like a like. He is all about
making the work work darling. It's the only time I've ever really felt like I was like an actor is acting with Adam suddenly, also because he make like a Fuckin rock feel like they're, gonna win an Oscar because it s so good and he's delivering. You error thing like on a platter. That's how I felt was Peter crowds. Like. Oh, he sucking me into his house. that makes it a singular national little world, yes like he is so trained and so skill that he would greater reality for both of us he'd suck me knows little bubble when you did that on girls, you do this. Rock thing in your new. You did all this stuff in the new in it certainly became like the face of bravery. Was that, like
when I didn't mean to do that, I don't need you to become the face of anything and then I had a while. Where I bought and my own mythology, unethical care was made. The face of these things are better. Do this thing and something I've really been enjoying were now living in a time like when I first started piping up about stuff like a lot of libraries, wouldn't say they were voting, for they wouldn't talk about politics. They wouldn't talk about abortion like, was in now that we're living in a house. Gay people are talking about it. A lot of people are talking about it and suddenly I ve been doing this. We're like ok, a lot of very cool women have this covered. I did it for awhile nine, a hang back, so I talk about things if I've think it's very, very important or have a particular take on it or try to offer my support where its needed, but I dont, like think of myself, like I'm, just like. Ok, I'm off in my cave, writing, jumpy, Do you have any type of guy? You have a dream type, or are you just great mass Jan and it makes me feel good to be asked type of guy? I mean it's changed over time.
When I was younger, I was like I've always liked musician. Do we only do have like a favorite heartthrob from childhood? This isn't really were ye. I have couple but, like I mean I was obsessed with larger Caprio and everybody else was that it was like you like. A sickening love like I was sick over, had it for now Campbell or my stomach hurt so bad when on Watch party five. But then the person my fault and I've told him that he knows in high school the person. Why, like wanted to shoot myself over. Yes, you shouldn't be using gun metaphors. Most I'm sorry about the person I wanted to Lake was a better if you want to slicker Corrado guy I know it sometimes under people on Twitter will be like like I'll, be like off. Amazon com is up, you're being so casual about mental illness. It's like let us, finally, I'm so mentally ill. I have in my whole life yet, and I also feel, like you don't know the world like when you ve dealt with trauma like the last thing you need is to have your approach to managing at your house.
the approach management, which is humor. I would argue humours the healthiest way around these issues, like all policies for a lot of shit, but I'm not going to apologize for like using humour to get through my life, so then I dont roll off what it's like when you have apparent, die the shit you and your siblings joke about. Like stub my brother and I were joking about online, I was, I was horrific, anyone that you'd it but a man. It helped us so much it so fine and funny when it's happening all my grandma was dying at the best time with my cousin, we love her grandma. We were so it was horrible. All the women were around her and it was like. You know it was peaceful issue, but it was. Ellie stressful, and we were in the room with her and my cousin, a nightcap doing this post. We were Jeff and EAST under a like. You know when you see those fictional mine is a good tourist and rising from like a car accident. I was if I need. I couldn't stand in front of our grandma like that Turkey sign and smiled to each other, then my cousin was link. We do this, I could lose. My job and I was like we're in
Malone younger and is making us feel better and grandma would want us to feel good young Roma. Ex jokes. I just just do it. Komori Osier Disease and drawn unless we can watch wasn't. I even had the ass, a nurse did take the photo of me and I held a pillow over my dad's face. While he was there and I said to my brother- said just time things up here and it for miserable, but he and arable it was so funny does, of course, any like and by the way the nurses know that you need it. The amount of jokes I made when I was in the house, I was in the hospital for eleven days. Last fall for my it'll, be a year since I am hysterectomy November and I was in the hospital for eleven as leading Ruth and my mom had it when we were kids and that's the only time I've ever seen or taken out It was so rough and are like. I was sick to the core of my being, and I held up this sign out. This made me sit and I've never shared this picture, but it makes me so
happy me in my hospital gown was standing up like you know enough to take your done like I ve stand to the bath yeah and I'm holding up a small sign that someone gave me. This is Trump loves rape decision. It's my favorite protest picture in my long and being there I'm gonna, take it, but don't poster post in our poor parents, better go along with all my mom took the most beautiful picture of me in the hospital, and she was like you if you're going to post anything post, this was like, like me sleep land urging us disgusting an embarrassing. Maybe you never finish your senator. We were gonna shoot yourself over Jimmy fallen oh it was illness inducing how much I loved him. I found about him all the time. I literally thought about him all the time and I ve I mean I was sprung May I first of all was the moment when you got to tell me you like I will do, is talk. Show I told him. Of course I was just like. I know exactly where it is determined to hallway.
Even their mulatto wriggle room. But if it's a talk shows like there's the inn, inborn boundary of the talk show, and he was so nice about it and you know he's like an old man with, It's normal thing he's not like you know, like a twenty four year old in a giant sweater like that's all married guys with kids. We live off of those comments. It can get us through a lot just even know. Someone felt that way about of stories like if I hear some things literally, anyone becomes attractive to me when I hear they think I'm attract off me do than those we feel they often, I feel truly the opposite, unlike others on the ground, with you better by yeah, that's nice, I love. Having crush his hat on me, anyone can become appealing you again. I should be more involved in this, but in fact I've said this on you. You could say anything about me and I mean it. You could go. Dax is the dumbest fucking Idiot and his nose is so grows. I wanna fuck him
I am so good. I like, I am even I'm no longer heard the first to thank you just heard how those girls things about me, make you horny for me and now everything like everything else is out there now sets out the window. Will this stay here office forever? Sadly, this is getting torn down but as the only aim of building something right behind us. That will become this new on that circle, and are you here all the time Monica I he em here all the time here so between her him in Christiania you're here all the time weren't around. Like me, I love it. Now, I'm really sorry and to telling stories, It gets really where I want to be where my energy is going and the idea of nailing my public persona or like killing it in my public life is really become, like something that was interesting from me. That happened last week as idea, big long interview for a profile, that's coming out around my new show, an eye for the first time was, like I didn't say anything funny, and I don't care yeah.
I was so not funny. I was just like yeah of PTSD. I didn't feel good. Last year it was horrible year. I liked to be at home with my cats, I'd like to water color, and this is my show- like. I was just like yeah. The lead desire to present cause the desire to be funny and the desire to be light and the desire to present as actually got me a lot of trouble in the past, Also, we are all at me over all I've gone way to foreign I've gone too far. It has not been. It has not been a good scene or made a joke. I mean it. You ve, Obviously Hollywood foreign press dark. I just did this we and for those who don't understand what our colleague Hollywood form presses is their basically, they left their country of origin and they are international journalists that cover an area. Their country, Croatia, whatever but there they live here in Hollywood, I'm an you do these a big interviews with there's like thirty of them, and then they disseminate that to their home country and it gets out around the world. Well because they're, all foreign,
An humoring comedy is pretty regional. You can, in the hot water breezy, making jokes and fry them, which I did one time we were doing a parenthood panel. The question was like we're noticed the Eu Crosbie as a black, He is with a black woman, but you never talk about. Is she? She is black. Where you know is train asked why we ever address the fact that or an interracial relationship and ah ok items is doesn't really want to handle this guy ass. I am. I am no, let him off the hook. Yeah! Oh, he goes! why? Why did you choose to have that's what I was? Why did you choose to put Crosbie dna? Internet ratio relate genuine autonomy and I said well: I got this. You know that this shows basin, the movement in the movie, my character had a half why child and once you Have I have like our will to be honest, we would is painted into a corner.
and I see all these people either writing in there with their pens. This direct quote or typing my direct quote, not a single chuckle, and I realize o this was not obvious to them that I was being funny and sarcastic, so my usual reading that Croatia, they were painted in order to have a higher and also the other thing. That's amazing: once you ve out like children, a pain into corner is also an amazing thing, because you're like you're, like I'm, also clearly making fun of you for asking this question which is over doesn't come off totally you're like I'm marking you for even bring another big enough for Dick to say to you that's a stupid question. We should have to say that they can just being a fuckin relationship without doing an upsurge of course, but
I'm going to say that so, yes, I'm trying to do with by a joke. Then it's like I've had happened a bunch of times and also my desire to make everybody feel comfortable. Like that's. A big thing I had to face is Europe's think about these issues like sexual harassment is that sometimes men would do things that cross my boundaries. I was uncomfortable with and I'd be so uncomfortable that I would like rise to meet them where they were so it's like. If someone made like a sexual joke to me, I would almost be scared that they're gonna be embarrassed and like I would reject into their embarrassment like I'd, be like making a sexual joke back to someone who just made. skin crawling made me one. I quit my job and so then suddenly you're, like I'm, playing along with this thing that I don't wanna be playing along with ya in by the way. This is why the whole issue is about a truly times more complicated than we're, giving me credit for, because there's something like that right like so I can make a furby Joe, can make a lot of pervy jokes. I like to think I know when people
are up for that or not other thing. That's nice! Those year I've been noticing actually on this package, is that your purview, jokes are usually directed at yourself in their self effacing, like you're, not here, to make anybody else fee on. I've noticed this when I listen you're, not here to lake project onto anybody else's sexuality or make them feel like you're. Making assumptions about who they are. slayer. Emotionally. I try not to, but I certainly forgot by the way I met. You knocked him among mum batting a thousand percent, but this is why I think it's much more complicated than we recognise as we were watching. I want to say sixty minutes in it. They were talking about the sexual harassment, that's been happening with ships around and they gave day detailed a few different exam but one of them was, I believe it was someone out either manage or worked at spot, a pig which is my fair restaurants, Miss manager or honour the owners body, pick on a lot of trouble in one of the
Apples was he leaned over and a car and kiss this employ of his and she didn't say thing to him. So let me just or a very delicate about how I explained this. I was watching it. And what happened was he he went in and he kissed her and then maybe grab your boobs, not even sure what all happened. But when she was talking about the experience She was paralyzed. She was apps ITALY paralyzed when it started happening and what has never occur me as a guy in what should occur to me, because I read a great book called on killing it talks about that. We think that humans have two mechanism. Fight or flight. In reality. Ninety percent of the way animals deal with things is posture and submit. We more hard wiring for a guy to go fuck you you fuckin pussy, and then the guy just goes kind of blank like or an American do any,
I'm not going to say sorry, no more time, I'm going to submit your posturing, I'm going to submit that's. Why guys didn't fire back when soldier, storming them shooting at them. Your brain registered. That's a posture! I'm gonna summit do nothing! I'm not gonna fire back or do anything. I'm just gonna go paralyse, so it's weird for me as a guy trapped in my own view in world view, if I leaned over and tried to kiss me I it would go. Oh I want to do that in so I dupe at assume anyone that doesn't want to kiss me? If I lean over will tell me? Oh, I don't want to kiss you, I'm never thinking that the poorest I actually feel paralyzed by my approach and give me no signals, and then that could be happening. That's where it's like. There's like a newborn power structures were like everybody has to come and go this person's I'm gonna tell me no, so I'm gonna
their stand that I'm not supposed to lean over and try to kiss anyone who I have basic power over like if I'm your boss, even bait little things like if I'm a lot a wealthy than you and you don't have a job and you think I might help it leads like if you're the service provider and I'm the customer like this, all kinds of dynamics in which is even harder to assert yourself. So you're saying is light any woman being This by any man might frees up, but especially a woman he's being kissed by save the owner of the restaurants ass. She got that is then gonna hear. I have all these thoughts, both your wishes. This person gives me my income. This person could tell other people in the business that I did something. This person could hurt my career this, but because I still have like. I can make a lot of choices about my own career. I have enough as much power as I personally need you and if I think I've offended or pissed off or step on the those as someone who seemingly has more power or more money or Mord prestige than me. My first thought is like they're gonna. Take everything from me: yeah cause there.
always my thought about everything is said: gonna get taken from me, you and I will You think that the way out of all of this or through all she's gonna be like we're, we're gonna have to jump up our communication, a buyer, brazilian percent, because again what that guy did was wrong disruption. but also the stories we shared so that others guys. You only know how we will deal with that and were never even comprehending that some of my not saying anything we need to know but that's the thing and we probably need to ass, like I'd like to kiss you or whatever their just we're, going the amp up, every unemployed and proper communication, and that's how I feel about, like I wanna amp, my communication with everybody and unless Many directly says to me, like I don't want to talk about this. I'm gonna keep trying to know about it. The atrocities and again you have two Lena dunham- has a huge mail at that Well, I don't even know you have on a second by second basis, which is you have a ton of power.
But I can imagine you walk around feeling like you have a ton of power riots, powerless and I think some of that is just. I think that there is a sense of powerlessness that comes with being a woman, especially women at this time, and I mean a woman at every time in history, but right now I think we ve had this like regression into four into like power that we thought we had is gone, but also, I think, All of our trauma gives us a sense of powerlessness in so many of us walk around feeling, like the person that we were in some way on our internally filling the purse we weren't, someone or worse today, even on our best day, and then it's weird because I always If I do realise, I have power, I like flex it at the wrong moment way like it's like I say yes, and I say yes and I say yes and like I am experiences week, I was working on this movie. This quantity of data will be I'm honored to beyond it. It's an amazing experience to dream, but like because my out o means stuff. It's hard for me to be in exposed in the sun for a really long time gets my. It gets my shit
going, and I know if I e- if that I'm gonna feel sequitur yeah and so there was a shot that like where I was probably in the deep background and we're out the sun for a long time- and you know they were being nice and everyone was being nice and we got sons. We we got umbrellas, but suddenly, like my brain sorts, go a full. You know two months of thinking, I'm garbage and garbage are making beverage my brains, like I'm a very busy woman lives. Evan teen jobs, but my son like this in the background me like some like it, never comes out at the moment that it would be useful as a means of course, that it always comes out at the moment where it's like Garbage Bradley Ness and to do anything with it would be offensive it like you
What am I gonna do storm out of the shock and I'm already and later already established in literally later at this moment, oily text Maiden homesick, listen. If they're gonna have me in the deep Akron of the scene, we should get a double, should get it, and then I like, oh I'm, older than the other girls I should advocate for them, but unlike an they should get doubles for the other entails. Putting more girls are all getting paid and we have like umbrellas incense green, like. Why am I being this way? The thing is ultimately, just me plotting to get back to bed. My whole life is a slow crawled back your method of forests, yourselves, to remember him. When you first saw pulp fiction, the first time, what limb you would have cut off to have been part of that literally, and that's how I every single daily. I would then like, and I would like aunt myself up a big girl you're, a quick return to Europe, when
Now two marriages are, you know just now that the word mother fucker? Do you like the most fascinating person to watch work. So when I got to be close to that, I wasn't, but when he was like way up a you know, he doesn't have video village, which is so cool, but when he was way up at the lake, you know top of a hill, and I was bottom of a hill and the deep action of a shot you can better, but also my friend Margaret was in the scene with me. She was doing an impression of makers, like ideally case select shot in the EU and the like. A second you would be like now we ve got three more reunite. The great great great great great great guy, and he was like the way you're saying the meanest is as such. blessing. I looked at my like life. The other day I was telling my jen, who runs my company. I was like. I just took a look at certain my ledger, my as my grandma were caught my income ledger and not one. Thing that is like supporting my life or the lives of people, that I love
of or my employees or the charities I care about comes from me happened to be anywhere on anyone else's time and that to me is the greatest blessing in the world, and that is actually something that's come to me in the last six months, like ligament like I was like. Ok, it's gonna take a little while for the gifts of lake, getting off of medication and being in my life and like the joys of it all to appear and actually there's been like an incredibly light theirs in linking credible as I've like figured out? What my next phase looks like it's been. I've been able to make some extremely authentic choice says what- and I just want to clarify accepting it can be seen- is either arrogant or ungrateful, but I would argue that incredibly healthy, because now look at situations where all here, what the shooting of Leonardo movie. The remnant was like I again, crew member from my movie had been unable- and I hear about that experience and I
I now am of the opinion. No, It would not be willing to suffer for six months and be miserable so that nothing I was in would be heralded is great and I think it's healthy cause. I now recognise like Well, that's my ego. My ego wants to be something that everyone looked up to, but but my life miserable just to validate egos I'd, it's not healthy for me. No, and I think that one of the reasons that, like people like, why are actors so bummed out all the time, because there have this amazing job and it's so dream they're. Finally, achieving your dream, but I think there's this thing that happens where it's like you're a performer in high school and you love being in, plays and a super fun and you put on plays with your friends. You were hurt after school you found a place, that's you! Then you get into the movie industry in your literally like your bodies, a prob, the studio.
you to lose weight, they add haired your hair you're, like kind of like you, know, ruffled over the kind of feel like a little bit over touched and degraded and made in some way, and so obviously theirs charter jobs, dearest reading things, but it's like it's not the thing they gave you all this joy and like I always try to have a lot of empathy. Lack of an actors will be a chance at and I'm not saying bitch about. Eleven I mean look at I a girl, whoever's announcing an asshole arsenals of fuckin asshole about their seen in there trying to change their lines. There. Why they're doing something- is in many ways on this particular project, their only source of power, and we might want to feel powerful and our lasher. I think a lot of it is fear of getting started hundred printed. I just star a quite office and nearly as bad as you thought I was gonna, be in being a person is tiring and its
Harry, and it's scary, no matter where you are, and there are very few people in the world that I can't muster something resembling empathy for, although there is certainly a couple sure by I've, also had to realise we come into our careers thinking that, as you said, like I had a lot of thoughts has asked. If I could only you know, hostess and at one time and goat, you you know. One party were my my dress: has a train you're, never gonna, Miss LA host us now and then and I'll be approved. I am valuable yeah, but my thought was always in that it can get in bed for write, your hide her at the ultimate fantasy was just yet to just be done. Yeah. I relate to that and I have got a really police myself on that, because I because when you do that or when I do that what I when I realises, I'm forgetting that the process is so fun,
and I'm looking only at the results, and then I want to do nothing, but that's a bizarre fantasy to have like being productive in itself, is of value and gives yourself team. The thing that I learned this joyful I ever happens when I'm making something and I dont know people are gonna like later. If they're not gonna like it Arthur connect to it, if they're not going to connect to it like yeah, what a pleasure the thing that? I think, is help on this writer down roofs. I don't know if you know who he is, but he's a wonderful man. I look up to him so much, but he one time told me he's like hey my career, that your ego, when you say my work, that's healthy, like stop. Thinking about like this project is blank for my career. That's that's a story. That's like
something you think's going to be evaluated, but my job is to sit down and right on a computer sent my careers as my activity. I used to Madrid me crazy cause, I would say to my topic and so sick, but I have to go to this pressing music. What does have to mean that I'm, like I'm enemy in a ton of trouble? If I don't know what is trouble mean- and I think it's gonna be terrible- like I'm- not gonna- build to do the things I want to in the future, and he back is that true, and He would just be asking the questions and showed me. I believe Europe gotta get anything I was actually saying like There's almost nothing and I've learned that actually one of the great gifts of being sick has been sometimes. I just have to stop and listen to my body and there's truly almost nothing, like do, I regret being sick and missing one bar mitzvah, running homer sufferers, not midst, I would have done anything to be their right. The rest of it like Yahoo is fine,
with all that said, the remaining thing mecca, give me very horny would be to be an eternity That doesn't mean he is like. I have zero aspirations left, but fucking af. I could be in one of those ten movies he's going to make. I would love to watch him work. I would just yeah, so you get a call or did you audition? You got a collar, I had a meeting with him and we talked and I've been here. I love the female characters that he writes. I care a lot about his work. It's been very formative for me. I expressed that and then I got to go to this sad and the first day I called my friend, Mary on the way home from sat, and I was squealing like a kid who went to Disney World, but I just couldn't believe you he doesn't have cell phones. I said Oh really, is everybody leave their sovereign and it's not some crazy, like I'm afraid, you're gonna leave. My thing it's like he's just like be present
just be year everyone's doing their job- nordic checking their fantasy football? No one's reading, an e book, it's like so cool. I'm trembling like ninety eight. I couldn't believe it announcing everyone is so focused. I made friends, I was excited, the little bastard for having a cell phone. Did you wouldn't have seen it, although I did at one point asked the piazza do take Brad Pitt solve your lives a year. He was like now, but I never saw pull it out while small enough to pull it out. He so on a fuckin spared Jesus die. I mean he's everything that you would maybe it would be. I saw him once in here is this morning. Actually brag. As on many. I only saw in costume the day he wasn't in his costume and those like. Where do you get a white teacher? Don't look yeah, maybe his wares everywhere that well look is just so cool and he's so nice and he's nice to everyone remembers everybody's name
here, like others, are reason you get to be a movie star. Yeah you're, better at things in the average price have saloon, have under really cool trick from me. I'm a camera operator as GPS africana. He taught me this really cool trick, which is he had read that you learn people's names better when you need something from them. If you, need something from a person, your remember their names, so what he does cause, because there's more than anyone they gotta. Remember like the We stand in the name of the dead, the person who just guess during that big can. I have to say Michael will you step here is step there. Somebody does he hangs out crafty in the morning and She's gonna sit. Never this coffee, you in that person comes up, introduce himself. Many says: oh Michael, will you cameos sugar? He gave, creates it ass in a need so that he needs then from them for one moment, if that's how he does it does like that's brilliant, I'm so bad at it and I had to have. I had the worst realisation ever us. Oh I'm so bad at names. I don't remember everyone's name than I do.
mid myself point of the producers name and other directors name, I everyone above bulbs, name as fairly guide. You grappled with heading. Anyway, that's disgusting. I know everyone, that's above bees name, but it kind of answered later answer the questions that I need something from those people or I want something from those behind. So then I've I've learned their name, but what I found when I direct in everyone's name every person on the crews name, because again I need stuff from them. I mean you know the brought master to get this thing. Jeffrey Johnson percent. I hadn't antagonistic relationship with the promised or one sees as actors or a percentage show runner, but, like you know, when you kind of make somebody out of you ever do this active joking, but of your constant rage. and as I and I direct, I felt comfortable directing it all this white man, whose name is clan and I'd like to hear apologize to Glenn who didn't deserve. I wasn't like me to him, but any time there is a problem
said: I'd be like eyes on Glenn like I was like you, I see her and you know what the route of it was. One time I was pushed through drinking coffee and a scene and blended something really insane unforgettable yeah. He poured Pepsi and then added milk. I guess you like didn't, have coffee at that meeting It happens, which I Gatt, but, like I was lakes, really trying to get me to take a sip of Pepsi and milk in this scene. Like what do you think's gonna happen? I'm not this good, an actor Brad Pitt could do anything. I can do it. We would derail you you didn't finish. continuous. We had a meeting with him. Are you loudly evens uranos? Anything, as is the disdain yonner gather genres. Now the movie is about high wooden, the late sixties off Some may, as it ever was the title known once upon a time in Hollywood. Ok,
bring in. So you have a great many have known that I play a Manson girl man alive public knowledge and there has been a photo of me and my costume leak. Showing your underwrite abroad and gerrymandered Brad Pitt, and so I wear a kind of like fun. The linen meme slash crocheted kind of mood and kind of Odin kind of ambiguously ethnic earring ring situation in some hair extensions, the Manson suffer so much more interesting than I had originally known. That guy wrote a really detailed book unease unimpaired something I heard like the fact he like he was preparing for, ray swore he's. Eastern instigator raises war constraints, race war, because what he thought was gonna happen was that his people going to find a city under the desert. Go into it and me we're gonna, be array swore instead, by them instigated by Bam. Black people were going to win, but then Blackie wouldn't be used to running the country. So in whatever number of years it would be an shambles and then they crawl out from under the debt
and lay play the waiting game there for a minute, but they were in death like we think of them, they think they weren't a pang goes where they were general running out. They are generally hang out in Chatsworth, o unchecked worth great yeah, which is where we ve been foaming. Ok and he also unbeknownst to me, as he was an aspiring musician right, highlights many movies. Ezra unwanted are available on the internet. There are terrible yeah. It's not a good singer. He's not like hot talent that arose with and what is Emily was using those girls originally to sleep with record eggs he'd have some stuff so that he would get his foot in the door. So we like, as he had two very different messages, what was like is gonna, be Apocalypse and race war and then side project. I need to become of us hot animals. It is a thing what s interesting about the Manson story to me, as I feel like we have such a cultural obsession with it with him and with the girls and with what was that dynamic. But the thinking
We don't say, and what was interesting to me in playing this and in researching the only part of ever like researched for, is link what it really is. A story about sexual abuse. We're about sexual abuse, the weight and nodded he people like. How did he get all those women? Was you so charismatic? Now what did was the same thing that pimps deal, which is I'm an aim which is zero, went on women, who already had an enormous amount of trauma, figure out how to make them feel temporarily special. Then common ate them in exactly the way that they were used to being damage. It was like a real traumatize asian and perpetuation of their sexual shit amen, fear and humiliation to mix were broadly Stockholm's, enormous mortality, I'm a hundred percent assure and now there's that women who have spoken about it since in what the experience was like that, like you know, I think we all like to think like. Oh my god, these people are crazy, but what we don't like to think is like a lot of us yeah because of our different shit. We I mean I've had a few kind of like
sperience is rife like gotten a little too into like you know, and allay health guru or whatever, and then suddenly gone link. Oh no like its dissolved one. Oh my god, my friend Russell took a picture of me that their day wearing multiple layers of rust, colored clothing than did a more better, but she la I saw really cool obsess and so in love was more non. Sheila she's, my number one she's your whole pass before him. I told Monica I get a time machine on making to stop her grandma when she was eighteen, a sexy woman, I've ever seen in my life, Me, oh Monica man, grandma is the hardest woman. That's ever walked planet, oh my god. She is. She is a smoke, show holy shit, yeah, fear and stop among US grandma and then men straight Manon when she's build that city, what a powerful, I mean, I know why she would follow up.
and she fuck you up and back and then she knew how right I'd be. A lover revealed, I'm already feel so, and also because you're like a person with a lot of energy and intensity like it be nice, if you free almost you just be shut down my she'll, our love, it's like those on like those powerful businessmen who are like soup submissive and they go get their asses. We ought to have a heaven haven't, haven't like just checking all my alphabet, shut, the door and large me around guy for around me up and down the fight for die for it. So if you wish it when you please you gotta concept you're in this movie. When I found out, I was really really really excited and then you know I went for a costume fitting. I went for another cost footing. I kept thinking like something was going to happen, not everything is right where they were, the clerical mistake would be noticed. A hundred percent can get fired after the first day after my first shot, now probably isn't what they want it. So today this morning,
I came here when I wrapped in these doubts Arap only in a dynamic, even though everyone was so nice. There was a part of me that was like in. Are they like? Ok now effect and had a greater out here. Amazing you, you still feel like you're gonna get fired on the first day like that net and never goes away ever goes it? What I as I might almost you Brad Pitt and secure, and some of the yes Ruby, I promise I mean he has now he's so good at acting cool, Brad Pitt, so good at doing cool stuff too soon, when the shirt off at all, you did Oh, but I had this thing, which is lakes and homes and there's a loose very, like come traditionally attractive, technically attractive, although I think right has Braddock something more who transcends is, he transcends is, looks in redefines them, but it's almost like I have a more maternal feeling towards him, of course, wanting to care for him and wanting to to put him back,
inside my now, but my inspection. Ah, this is monocles thing to you. I haven't. I haven't nurturing a sexual sexuality proclivity, fantasy, so claw yeah that- and I think you know what I've diagnose the Monica as is. Is you ve figured out a way make yourself essential the personality and everyone is offering this, but I've got this neat thing. I can do that's gonna, make me special in their eyes and they're. Gonna know that they can Does anybody else? My thing is like I'll be his only date that can, if his motorcycle breaks, he can rise safely on the back a mine, a hundred per cent hope this very few people he could trust. No, he wouldn't be on the back of a motorcycle. What he's got children? He knows they do so promoting a lot young nonstop, sober you're right only gets your way of getting places everywhere. I say it's my superpower. Couple days ago we were on a plane together leaving Toronto. We get off the plane. He has his motorcycle more like by I step in
the uber line and I get a text from him home. And people is got a million manner. Yet it's a superpower. Do you, like? I tell a port places because of the motorcycle. Does ballot arrive in the back? She's, not scared. She is the weirdest thing she could give a shit I took her than theirs is racetrack in Germany call the Norbert ring and it's the law This race track in the world is seventy miles lap. I rent this porch firm, Avis Rental car you're not supposed to take on the track adieu, anyways the bat stretch were gone. A hundred ninety five miles an hour. I look over her she's, like thumbing through a man, gesine issues even look up to see that we're doing as I do not like she's game. She doesn't care out yeah springing gangster varieties really gangs. Heather eleven years now you so impressive. Yeah see you guys got together, you were. You were like thirty two hours. think great, fast man, my age, my age, I was very thousand two twenty seven
and here's another question: how would ruin you? That's over twenty nine twenty nights. You like coupling of twinning, She would like three years under your belt of good, solid work. Yes, and were lying on a much different version of me than other people. were entering into the relationship from a thoughtful place. Yes, it does sobriety, but also recognising my sex addiction in my life. addiction and all these kind of things that all I'll all things to regulate my internal emotion, hundred percent, I love you, I'm so flattered. You came to see you. I really am when I reached out to you. I was like the Kimberley. She saying you know. I love you and I also shared a lot in this situation that I too have ensured in other places, and it felt really sometimes you're gonna go with your gut and it felt really right Gutierrez a safe, thoughtful you're standing, yet you urge people to be better. Oh well, thank you. So I wish everyone can see as overalls.
is cake, and now my favorite part of the show the bank, with my soul, made Monica Admin Jew, the bad backs read them. I could do new runner and than that by the banks. she and I are gonna, find the truth you gonna make it through the night. and in the end is not. There Beginning is they're. Getting is definitely there. It's arrived and sometimes you're gonna settle for the beginning of the year. That's the theme that used to be the theme of the last fifteen minute. I'm sorry, you know I'm kidding it's fun do. You know this day was coming right. Why we're not gonna hurt jobs. Yes, I'm pretty dependable. Do you think I'm pretty dependable fifty
five episodes. Anyone ever live around. That's not gonna show how share the and the show I'm pretty dependable not today, You know we were wondering what I'd have one of those days right. It is barely do this year on the day that we need to really barrow either cause to give you behind the curtain or leaving rock ass. In the morning I go to the sand dune safer place. They were place on planet earth in there's. So much to do. and I was our town yesterday and this morning and now there's three vehicles at mean fuel. Theirs, stuff, I'm gonna make a lotta spaghetti. What are you gonna do and I got a pact better. much to pack? What am I? What should I pack unpacking gamey? Oh, ok, tasty now all night negligee a night now is gonna, be called there. Let me very warm it is he s going to be, but ninety
daytime sixty seven at my yet, and we hardish here so don't bring snow suit boots, although bring me has virtually what clogs are gloves We were eggs out there in the dunes will act as a nice wide footprint in it helps keeping on top of the sand unaware ox. Unfortunately, why not? I wear so embarrassed Even half of your saying glasses at night. Now, I heard that certainly other do you do. Did you get so excited wonderful, I'll, have eggs. of a generic version, Umberto like Eagle, wants a trusted. Brain from high school or my good the very old guy, because I dont, where drugs and life testament to her what a high quality product it is, that the rubber isn't disintegrated, not if you're right the massive NATO and with us
but only where them only wear them. Asserted the sand is I'm a warm and high school sure yeah Even then, it was sad it sad. It was a rip off of Bang says that was my whole life. That's why have things that are not rip off versions. Now is right. If you really want them as acute even get em, he ass, you go. Was back fact shaggy she's round and round you go back Chair Do it again Banning. I love that really nice! Ok, so you too, about Rusty's speech. That's Paul, rust! That's why Paul Rock star of love. Soft law which we love tat. We watch the first season and Paul Russia, so Q. he so cute like him, so much yellow, unique he is, and he comes from the you see me.
And he wrote a very nice speech that made you feel all Terry Rule the dead man he was talking about Us Leslie made him feel cool. That says we need a more This is part of their speech publicly. I'm payment being super compliment now, because you are also not like verbatim you're. Just saying. Why should the full speech when you made me feel so cool? Because normally I don't feel cool because I don't have any testicles. Oh hello, Do you think I'm saying anything human objective? How he does it give people noise and allow people pretty much already know that about have altogether of K. Another person We don't give, alas, and renounce give full name: Jemima, Jemima, Kirk Gray, from girls
that's right, she's from girls, she's from girl, she's from tiny furniture, aha she's from nor autistic family. She her you wanna get down to the beginning of April, hardly knew it was Jemima Kirk, but just in case you want to look up. She said pretty yeah he's big round eyes. I generally like It was a conversation about how to of somebody like give then what they need verses. Were you? U arcs acting. You know, Madam However, what you need out of love might not coincide. what they need. Ah ha retard. At that and in that made me think of the love languages, and then I wonder, did we already talk about love languages before it is a matter. I know where can recycle here. Yeah. I saw I've needed to hear many concepts multiple times before I got them out of business
that's so abstract that requires from being likely. We can't send an expectation for our that we're never gonna or that everything we say to me now. One who will die welt will die then die arson, I know I don't love languages, love languages, languages, five of them. Do you know it? They are give giving saying I love you ordered affirmation. of information making people food of service access translated all these into something out of it. So let me again served on three of the five I dont think I have the other two I already know that the first three but well, I think you can are one of the ones you haven't said. One of maybe dynamite lover with physical. touch. Your area is that is one and quality. Time is the fifth now: what do you think you are now? What do you think you?
if sometimes, along the same, what I mean again and probably wrong. I think physical, touching quality time or things that I value very highly and try to You know, I think, you'll gray, when you come into the house, I don't go like high my walk past you, I stop what I'm doing and look at you, and I say how are you doing yap what's going on here? If we're gonna interact, I want to be present in quality. Yeah yeah, I think that's one can always groping you to rise. You at a time like this. At the same time, it's like how are you mad elsewhere in Tokyo, tune in Tokyo No, I mean you know you. I know, because you just did a hand gesture, but I've never heard them. John use movie. Sixteen candles, I think, there's something about they wanna play tune in Tokyo like high school or kids, and they want I like, and the people you are now yeah, I'm putting both hands in front of me with my fingers. the boy.
My hands again twisting mouths and radio tune in Tokyo operating a ham, radio yeah! That's what the young boys wandered due to a set of brass, yet on the tune into while wow. I gotta never found in her tone you out now now will be clearly will ever reach Tokyo yeah. Oh, how was I finish talking about that lovely, smuggling, which is we got really distracted by physical touch. Twenty years is give giving NEA forgiving, thou not really receiving it online for free now in order to feel loved. You don't need to be receiving thoughtful gifts now, but but mom gives you thoughtful gives all the time and when she does, how does that fish Kristen. Oh my, oh, I think my mom, all your mom your mom, your mom, Jesus. I don't want your money where your mouth, when my
Ah gives me the generally crazy thought sample gaps. I love it. yeah, you feel super loved until I do for you, like someone's hearing me, her yeah, paying attention you are it's weird like, I think, maybe it's because I'm good at that, then somebody else's good at a to z through a no ices anything does either it's all wonderful, It is so thoughtful and nice, but I'm not like I don't. I don't think I feel but in the same way I agree with you in that I'm not a crazy, thoughtful gifted So then, when I receive a gift that was crazy, thoughtful you ve, given me some Christians give me some check its extra powerful because its it's out of my skills examining on his person really did something. I can't even do for me exactly yeah yeah yeah. I also
and, unlike when I tune in your Tokyo like I can't tune in Turkey. I am, I hope, that other I'm here yeah, I gave gifts for sure, and I thing I need all over again But now I think I need them really hard. I really do kind. Feel like I like all I need all of them mean everyone needs all it and that's why they're there, but it's like what you respond to the most you know when I don't really need acts of service was abandoned, that's merrily homes in you. I love you. I must not drawing well. Now, yes was one knowing what the truck to pick out a bed. I know when I downloaded it, and then I go to the best I am pick out a tv was actually Carrasco could, of course, go pick out some tea. these are the you put him up in your house. Actually, I'm wrong. I do love than I do
it had a riot You have all the lux yeah. I just think. I think it's interesting as I think other people are better at diagnosing, sometimes better at diagnosing your stuff than you are because the time they are but also. I think that I think the most important thing about the love language thought process is it to say like what you do or don't love or whatever, but it's more importantly, to go like oh, this is I value a ton, so them on the person doesn't do back to me. I'm assuming they have the same rights language. So I'm assuming they don't love me and you probably missing some other way, their demonstrating their love for you. But it's not the one that you give sea can amiss. If yeah I mean that's, what that's like: half and then the other half is so. What is the thing that they respond to an. I can try to be better about giving that you now Europe, absolutely ok
don't want christened to stop giving me gifts, ok, cause. I really shining those sure like there which are go about mental health on this episode of Lahti lie to merge now. Good, I'm asking you a lot why there was a lot it was, but in a grave is great, it's good to talk about it. In this room where we talk about always give, but I remembered when I was listening back. I remember one time I was listening to this panel of the mad men cast one of these actors on. There is French, I want to say, he's european and he I don't know how they got on this subject, but they serotonin happiness and he was like a mare cans are so obsessed with happiness. the destination, my hair, raising Weimar happiness.
The destination and the French? I think it was the french dots yet like that they see happiness is like an Neither emotion, that's transient! Are you come in and out of and its end see, there's a lot less depression because depression. I'm from not achieving this permanent level of happiness on murder, expectation, Zactly, but really that's not? No one can do that it's not a permanent stays leading feeling exactly you're right. I find myself, striving for our happiness, yeah yeah. I must the best you can strive for his contentedness yeah, that sustainable many little peaks of happiness.
valleys of sadness, non food use over there in Tokyo in tune and see what their sanum yeah, yeah and at all and forms the other sadness informs happiness number one time I told you, I am not afraid to be sad yeah. I told you that still true, but since she's in this new movie man sense so interesting, older couldn't turn Tino failure. Aha, once upon a time in Hollywood, that's what it's called for now they were now whenever his turn to stick ass. True, he has got titles said the literally the best titles of any right or ever use guidelines. I want to see I'm services, The man said: Merla really yeah, which is kind of a cliche like everyone's. They're like the most really I'm so in the Disney Land and so in the chocolate
so strange, so rare the weird thing about music, but when I get a huge paycheck unlike louder, it feels like. I don't know why, but like a lovely, the huge we are- and I say this- but ok yeah, but anyway, so its interest to me is it sing deal I demand sins in greater, oh yeah, yeah, but fascinates me about it is the is the primate aspect like the power of the group. the power of a leader of the power of status, the power of all these things that are going to bring up, often on and he added at its zenith. Words like you actually convince people to go murder, other people because of your mindset, point of view and the tools used to become that. yeah call to personality. It's it's, so
interesting that we as an animal are susceptible to that end. Even people that would imagine there not would probably be shocked. You know, like Stockholm Syndrome, that's fascinating to me that you start sympathising with your captors and all these different things that are, I think, are all weird vessel group: animal yeah, behaviors yeah. I know Always I am always surprised when people are so indignant to end and judge mental about people who get like quota puts sucked into these calls because I'm like everyone is capable of being sacked in yeah. I think I really am war again. Certainly, there is probably a spectrum of house susceptible people are yeah, but but then yes to the efta, imagine circumstances to go like ok. Now. Imagine me on my worst day feeling the worst about myself in the most direction: I've ever seen, then I mean
one of the most charismatic people of all time, happens to coincide with that MA am and then the skies the limit will that I think it's just it's it's what ever their whatever vulnerability there Particular called this preying on. You know you can get you who are more or less susceptible, but if it may happen all over the place, absolutely The scenario in plain sight. Garage me she's were on some level very mean they were in a coal. Everything are pretty cool call, but regardless it was caught. Yeah yeah. Do you think you ever Then under the power of somebody yeah you do you don't say that I hate. When I saw you, should you hated I thought you didn't use that word. yeah. Why? Access by his sword, hate all the time and- and I haven't said fence which, they show that I'm in your call. No, I don't,
I really! I don't like it. How about that? I know a way which is so funny they you get like really weird it out by that you do it because in reality pod, causing you get nervous that you really are doing that? No, it would make your liking me disingenuous. They would mean the thing that we share is mine, control and called the personality, and that just a genuine friendship, I don't think that's trail. I dont think I'm in your call that some days I do somebody. I don't think I'm in your call. You disagree with the call made quite a bit. I call very very out spoke and if you really measured like there's an outsider computer program, those monitoring our conversations, the vast majority of whom are disagreements, I never I keep coming back.
Are you going who's gonna back, Lester? Okay, so does Forbes scissors five tricks to being better at name's, remembering Nay Forbes does is always a great things are first for citing Let me now we're talking about your yeah. Ok, one meat and repeat, that's an obvious one sure means to spell it out O. Does it either oh n, o c o did you have a spell it out there? the Associated so Joan from Jersey. Lilla Liberation. I think Anthony. Does this all the time Monica from make him you're not from now that it is at all and have developed. Don't have to be facts arise, but it's better if it is, and he can remember to think something about them and their name right.
yeah and Anthony. Does this all the time all the time he always has like a coil of fire? before the name glow nor minors can ask I'm sure, ok, our we're back. I don't think you I have one, for you can apply to never hurt him learning our name, so unique, yeah focus on call leader. Ah, you suddenly, me ok, I Chinese number four for make connections so another way association can be helpless to make a connection between the person you're talking to and someone else. You know with the same name. I try this all the time. Yes, because there's a lot of deeds float in and out of my meaning yeah, then they'll be sitting there on the couch them staring at their face, and, unlike what friend did I connect them too? don't look like anyone. I know it's always the rear, though that is harsh yeah and then I am more frustrated train. Remember the person I connected them too. Then I would just be
yeah, that's Van Miert, sometime unkind and my work for other people. Okay and five is really I mean this is what all boils down to choose to care by them. I do well to make yourself care. Well I mean: can you make yourself Well, what happens for me. I find the reason I'm not good at it. Remembering I'm not good at hearing it first time, because I guess I'm too in my head during the introduction that I don't hear their name and then I won't ask again right. I feel too ashamed shameless yeah your name again. I can't do it so then I just never know. I'm surprised the thing brought up was in there because I did in my own experience, I would have said I was incapable of learning a hundred people's names and a month, but when I was directing and I needed something from every person boy. I've never had an easy the time yeah, but I wouldn't good
What blows me away? Teachers? They don't mean shit from those kids and I welcome these classrooms day too. In these teachers know all the kids names are blown away, because there are no status thing they can. do anything for them other than I guess they gotta get them too paves right: hey fucking, whatever red hair all Maybe your name is great great t shirt studying glue. maybe because you do need you need Neither do I guess you could call on them, so you do also. There is a repetition, any gaze, or there also all sitting in the exact seems by every days of the visual. Your hope why that's true, they can they can pull among asmund Zanu. That's it that we also- the Nuremberg rang, been there really but who cares hairs basayev,
That's our bulgarian gray. I love you and I can't wait to hit the road with you tomorrow me IE. There will get to listen to some podcast, as my favorite about driving to do is we get to see what else is going on around here? yeah, I love you. I love you.