« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

LIVE: David Koechner

2019-08-29

Armchair Expert Live from Chicago at the Chicago Theatre. June 28th, 2019.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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You will ratethe teach the don't each much about his story here don't know most by the g. Don't know much about science book, don't know much about the princess, but I didn't know that in another. If you move mention what a wonderful, what a lot more work, This could be. one, a This is a table Sadie,
and for you so I'll, be in timethese cry in that did see a feeling all the love. Without a friend. You know you feel, like that indent left, to cry. The we go along to you guys start to. He's an usher that but babies can babbacombe
escaper bangable, Please hello, hello, yes Chicago! Thank you! So so much if any
one here is a arm chair. You will know that Bobby Wob is from Chicago, so it is coming on, but while Bob rive them out say hi, but it was his birthday last week I just want an aero also. We just love this city were so grateful to be. We are here last year around Christmas. It was only a Christmas tree, but now were here for summer. So- Next, I want to bring out a very, very special lady, shes, so hot even though, even though please welcome Monica Padman, give.
Chicago. We love, you see, you dont, have you. This is the best place to do a shelf, and we here with the graciousness and the generosity of the crisis Pacific MO of the vehicle we are on the Pacific, Midwest Tour and we are driving the shit out of those many fans and you cant even stay awake in there. The convert level is off the chart. Ok, also the very kind folks at least, but they give us our function. Then we dont need to have it to humanity, thank you for ass. You I know Monica makes fun of me about my superlatives and then I give out these ranks too easily. But this one's for real is shit. This is the funniest real life person ive ever worked with. He is a son of
Chicago in sorts. He was a transplant he's the funniest man in two. You probably heard him say, whammy, a timer to Dave CAT Sanderson. What comes Am I sitting on? I know, isn't it Isn't it a nice sofa to make yourself content to Dave before we jump into it? I counted up how many times weve worked together and it came as a bit of a shock to me and now im, including your talk, show that you did were interview people at Danny, which was a great concept. It doesn't compare the comfort level
ficou a a very nice place to be interviewed, including that how many projects you think we do together. Six eight same things: we've done together. Ive worked with you more than any other actor right, absolutely so Dave, and I met here in your beautiful state of Illinois, you're both held up at corporate housing in Bolingbrook Illinois. if you guys don't have summer plans yet you're looking to take the family somewhere, really fun and exciting, just hop on The highway, it's a too short hour ride in traffic to Bolingbrook and we met on a movie called, let's go to prison. What I had heard about you before we met from Amy Polar, was oh you're, going to work with Dave Ketner, I'm so excited for you he's the man of wherever he goes. Thats your nickname right. You immediately set up shop and you're running the show on its accurate I'd, say allow
one, the most stylish guest we've ever had a right dress to the nines. Yeswhat kind what kind of animal are we do we have on those boots? This is it? Is a fifteen foot fish out of the Amazon River Oh you know. When I look at those boots. The first thing I think of his that noose Agoit's terminator, it's a fish, it's as if a gator and a catfish made it. Oh I'd, love to see that yeah I didn't catch it. Everyone goes and you caught it. I don't that be a great story, but no yet I hear gators are very tender lovers, You know so much about animals and their sex la animal husbandry. I wanna give Patman the respect.
marihuana. Look at this gentleman look. I've had the smarts to hook my train to a couple of locomotives. One was personbut, Monica Monash took over love you. You know that, but I got to say views much better. This way. Do you think I'm fucking? facing this way. Gagner you I are currently on a show too. Bless. This mess Dave's my favorite part of that show not even so much for what he's doing on the show. But what he's doing at work? He yells at everybody that working and it's all in good humor, but this is they'll, be about Rado role, though go you know, rolling, speeding and. gang. Everybody works on this tack. If you see some table angle it no leaning
and no one look at me. I dont shut your eyes to turn the camera on walk and then to the real saw focus on no edges, alright in a brain so that real, quick, let's go to prison, we're filming Juliet prison, which, ironically enough, is a beautiful building. Now it's got it Some prairie craftsman touches. Remember the walls they're beautiful in a brick now what you step inside like oh, this is a house. of horrors. I just want to say a shower scene. It is like you're acting your acting your acting and almost hits you. This is a real shower where hundreds of thousands of men have seen horrific things. He's right. Worms, the indian and things have gone down this drain and
yeah, we are you see below my ankles. Can I have my political variant, sir, and remember there was the oldest prison in the country was inside that prison? It was a prison built in mates in the civil war. Oh really you never. It is very small. I didn't get that tour. Who took you on this tour. You know I like to talk to people you do. This is again a test at kind of Guy Dave, Koechner that he will know everyone's name in here before y'all leave. That's a certainty. He knows every single person's name who he's ever worked within its. I truly admire and applauded you you talk to everybody, you make everyone feel included and you're just a genuinely one, you're, also a scumbag like me, which is why we're friends We do have a lot in common yeah. Let's start with looks roughly the same frame, medium build. Well, you are the same height. It seem.
The same height were thinkers. We are intellectually curious that also binds us yet and we met, and I of course had already seen you in a and you are absolutely hysterical. Champ kind, you could see next to my ear, while I slept and shout it over and over again id wake up and still be in the mood for more, but I see
you in that, and I thought you weren't sterical and of course I remember you from Saturday Night live, and I thought gonna hope this guy likes me because I was new on the scene. Here's the thing gang guys guys girls would only is to work. It is play. River is called a play. It's called a teller play or a scream play, and the operative word play so the days were working, we're playing. So I'm happy any day. We get to play, but I think you are apprehensive you thought of this guy he's you thought I was gonna be agro. I just thought you're a real comedian with real street credit and I'm a guy those on MTV in your probably wondering. Why is that guy number one or two on the call she whatever I was, that was what I the baggage. I walked into the Lake
judgments to me honestly. You know Bob Bob Odenkirk was directing it like. This is going to be fun. I did already admire you not as much as ive come to, but as this guy gets it he does it and you are an improvisor and you improvise all that stuff on punk, which is really remarkable and you are so grounded in real. You didn't play with a wink all the time you are just real, so I thought you know how to do the jokestation. That was the first time I was in Movieslife im going to really try not to be funny and like real actors. Do all these things. I imagine not. A lot of prisoners are left handed in creative, like we know, and so im going to be right handed in this movie is my big actors guys this is like a year and to me getting hired. Give me a little slack. I was trying to do my best and I made this You was right handed and then I never practiced being right. We have a scene with Michael Shannon who's, a bad motherfucker
me you and AL are goofballs and Michael Shannon for real, no Shit Academy award type of brilliant actor. I dont know why he was in that movie to be honest, but he is playing a nazi and he comes over this fucking set of picnic tables and one- scared im supposed to be taking a bite of food again, im, not practice with my right hand I and im just like talking to well in my- and I told this guy and I literally stab myself oil, you just try to take a bite with the wrong hand? Tonight it's harder than you think, and I myself and I and then we had to shut down for about twenty minutes. While I my eyes, stop watering all, because I was right handed in the move,
seven single human being. It was like the details. This guy's got the details as an early move for MIKE Mike Shannon oh yeah yeah cause he only was doing plays here. You've done a ton of stuff here in town. I remember it once I saw him in a zoo story and I was downstairs. I think cat is catheters still around No okay, there used to be a downstairs in person. People are still talking. You have a short answer was no in the schedule. No, what happened was well September ate. It was cloudy. I remember like the fucking debate. as long as one of them wins? I don't care if anyone If anyone is unsure about how to vote just get a mailin ballot, send it to my home.
also it out there we got you. I like that. Better care of this pod cares get some top. I like that constitute voter fraud, which I would have thought was a lie, but now will prove to be a real treat to this. Democracy will put something like their be impaired. I had to fill it all were like an Hainan advocate for these haired people, this guy gets it you didn't. We will get back to let's go to prison, but you did watch the debates it most. People like that, it did very well, it destroyed. My game, show whatever one for our demise. monica- and I were watching it last night and I do know where I was like how big or Bernie Sanders hands did you go. This they were Easter. and this is my
region. I drew near Herschel YAP far left of burning. Oh Jesus beats ampere. That's lonely. Over there ie redistributing the wealth im, fine yeahwhat I admire about This guy is he he is not afraid to be contrary, and he is fearless in like there's. A consensus is a no go look very Insadong Heres the controversial take away online. Not one of this guys so confident he's got twelve inches of flat. In his pants, I see a grandad Hotelresort, yeah anyone got twelve inches of plaza. Dong is not afraid to speak up and go now. You wrong
as you all used. It takes two via great again. The if we get a prior pencilled die an erection. Lastly, more than four hours they'll be no blood elsewhere there, so that what is currently just Bernie Sanders, I'm home, I'm hoping to have hard all its oh give this country multiples. What wonder Four rumour we've started about him: you'll like it vote. That's a long way to say vote. So ceteris front, you are from Missouri and we have to apologize Now when we say you're for Missouri I send from is sorry, but I'm not like that.
Oh because you know they just tried to shut down the only abortion clinic in the string, it didn't happen. It didn't happen, they burning sanders that log alarming sense of the people who are our public contents? horrible legislators, horrible legislators, and if I mention the worst legislators because theyre all trying to race to get their bill to overturn roe as we women are you running for fucking President once Ment, I, like it, youre, actually the perfect person to get into a screaming match with out from Hall on gang folks, you have to say Don Robison, would you let this man fill in any blank yeah? What would you let this man coach, your sixth grade, girls, basketball, team
so you let that better work. Yes, would you committees, there's no way I don't need that anywhere near my daughters. Bernardino shoe hurts, but hahaha So I've never try to see. If there's a person, Asia we can do what they are voting represent getting really lean, and in your father though yes, Cecil, Cecil Visual get your Europe is there have its eyes, He like cars, yeah. Yes, yes all! I do you just drive a little too fast. Oh I'm sorry trying to slow it down. You do not apologize to me. You know your bodies to the parking lot The do that? Be a Cecil and then Heres a thing? And I do this because I did it to you tonight. I had the thing he'd always do.
immediately change your name. Oh good, yeah! That's how I did that he did you, which I kind of to break a special nickname was it was he doing it goes is a term of endearment okay, because it was a joke. Oh it's a good one well, it is, but when your voice goes up like that, it's a also, I dont want to pat myself on the back, but I referred to Nicholas Han an episode of punk. Ricochet. The whole time- and I got to say, is one of the things I did all I did that took that in through an area and place of its The notice of the half Owego Listen Rick and go it's Nick and is look at him like I it's by the he you wanted it out earlier today, its a powerful response, its just stare back at somebody. It makes you go crazy, like see of someone. Then they just stare at you for awhile. While like wait, I
wrong. That's a bizarre response, Designed chicken coop turkey, foul coop ok, no seven. Ok, here's how I start my dead built livestock trailers, because you gotta get people the visual some going down the road or forty foot flatbed trailer, because if I say Turkey groups to go out for the back yard, you, I must be busy thanks, kiting like all right. Let me know that I will never have a longer conversation with you and Lifeisgood that These are a lot of people harnesses okay, so livestock trailer, but these are specifically cages. Eight feet tall, okay, there, one hundred and eighty eight ages on a forty foot, flatbed trailer built in four quadrants, okay, theyre, anchored to the trailer, obviously right, but he built this business or
Your childhood right wasn't born into those it was. It was a shocking coop empire. Now, Turkey, clergy, tax, the work of tiny must work to time, a girl, probably seventy hours weak. There were six of you three boys, three girls Logan to social market in large measure, rose David society Jonah Joe, no wonder, you're good at names. You fuckin a siblings. Now is thirty, six first cousins on my dad's side, a little bit catholic! all total their names dies, Monaco, season boring. We want to show to be what the goal is to fall, asleep mid show and we cater mostly doing, message, im nearly there all it, this comfy couch and alloptical im. No, ive, not seen a more elegant man in my forty four years. If Gucci was a human and Bu
So Cece built this business slowly ill. Tell you the quick story: why he did it? He used to manufacture smaller livestock, implements like picnic table frames and farrowing crates. If there's anybody there, we go get on your feet there. It is there, there were stairs here earlier. I had him remove for disease accuracy. Is anybody here know what a fairly create is all right o. First of all, I love you. What is it sir? We're the south gives birth to her pigs, but what it does is it holds the cell in this narrow corral, but if you think a sound will roll over and mash her young ones also when they need to suckle, you put her in there, so they can cycle cuz she's. So. Damn lazy, fuck it! It's over! as, if she's listening to an episode of
Grax Werethe, best possible way where you from Otello small town. You live in St Louis now hold up well at all you Hayes has become the host. You get your arm around that guy, like shes a hostage or you. Okay, but I dont, know what hand I thought I was watching episode he home for a second im, not sure the your ow was six kids in the mix young here in the middle right, the older ones, the teenage ones and the little or ones are taking up a lot of air in the room. Aren't they in the middle child. I stare using cow terms, because you got a site
Did you feel a little lost in the hustle? Do you want some attention you weren't getting the you think I got my attention. Oh well, I started acting up in school. That's for sure I realized early. I could make people laugh. I remember in third grade. Mrs powers. Class is winter time. This is the first comedy bit I ever did on stage. It was a Friday. It was wintertime so already had a winter coats on for the bell and we had a couple more minutes, and so MRS powers go. Does anyone want to come up and do anything or tell a joke? And I like yes same way I been waiting inside school, get get with it Well, you heard! Does anyone and then you were already moving to the front of a class? I just know what I was going to do so
all it is. I got the guy who is the easiest and biggest laugh in the class uh huh, my mark Bob Bastian? I hadnt come up and sit down and hes laughing already. Then I took my hat off by stocking cap and I shoved it down the front of his jacket. H and then I pretend for a full thirty seconds, where's. My oh, that's great! earliest comedy bits were by had lasted where's my hand, by the way, not to bring it back to Chicago, but anyone play that game on the playground in the winter time with their heads, and you go what happened in Chicago on eighteen, thirty, six or whatever fuckin year was and then you'd take their have pulled over their eyes and they go. The lights went out the Manila, one that play that we're game time. You know it year was
New sounds in the same family of jokes that your deacon Tinue to do so all it is rifled through his jacket, trying to find my hat. He was laughing, so they were laughing at that. Thank God. He well run because I did not have an out. You have black out, I had a thing where I kind of discovered all this is fun part of it was I just I really wanted attention. My brother was like a Preteen and baby sister whos here Carla. I love you. So much is the greatest year, pores hair shes up there on the very very back one of the appeals was just attention, but then the other appeal, because I think I had anxiety about my world was hgsi- have the steering wheel. Now I have control
steer this whole experience. Rest is empowering. I have a voice. Did you remember feeling that I think that is? That is what it is. The attention I do believe drives the motor a bit, but then, if you're well intended, then it's not about you necessarily. It is about us and if you go on the conduit to perhaps us, recognizing a thing that is funny, which is me when I get an elevator and the six strangers I am like I am overwhelmed with the awkwardness and im just thinking well who's going to solve this. For us, this is the fit Somebodys got to say something we cant stand in a box. I dont pretend were alone right. So I will say something or all for do do something did.
Alleviate the extreme awkwardness, that's happened right. You, the on the weight, the pain, the Patatas Jeff at those toes worse, it's worser than bettors her off. Oh wow pathos is, you know like a sad, wet dog right right. Yes, but Methos is a grandmother, who's, lonely and it's Easter Weekend and her family didnt come okay and shes. In a rocking chair and shes, holding a mug that says were its greatest grandmother that she purchased for herself. The county, fair and then she still has an answering machine. If you hear the answer, machine click on and its your grand kids saying sorry grandma, but were not going to make it an
this year, the the mug crashes to the floor and on the television you hear the final two shotgun blasts from old yeller They had to put the Sothat bathos may we will find ourselves and at some point they do for more lives. Show after this exciting commercial break, we are supported by Palatine the coolest and best cardio machine on the planet, according to men's health kind. To say what I like about it tell me it s a great piece of equipment, the engineering, the design. I love, it's very sleep. This one is very sleek and it is very compact. More by two, you can put the Palatine bike anywhere in your home. its an immersive experience, because you have me
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and you have to read books. Baingan you, okay, yeah, yeah books might be the key to life, who needs it got stuff thatthat's right as Jack nobody likes many things, they're wrong name out of business? It's I had no out bankruptcy in most those people and I had a desire to be an actor. But who do you tell because in small towns you dont? tell dreams yeah, because it seems like your air again You don't have the longer you who the bugger you go. Well, some Turkey coops nice got a right, no where are we police ill? Give to this? Virtually doesnt want to get back to pathos at some point or he gonna fuckin, sick ba.
So it's right up our bonds by the end of this year, I hit heat, is playing a little seed. That's going to grow into a beautiful, but ethos, Bush chat roulette! Oh my goodness, someone looked at it once as I, just a bunch of dudes waiting around to get a glimpse of a booby so Jackaroo probability of seen to do. Jerking off you you like anyway, I had no access to how to figure out how to go become an act because you go to the University of Missouri. I went to Benedict and College and Adressing Kansas for two years huh. I doubt it, but I learn not likely. Okay with different different years police major, then own, the University of Asuras, your water, the first place, he is
So will move, but again were not from there ill get to it. So the clinic. But you go three years ago an indolent cp travel warning, little joke goes from is or if your black? Yes, ok, that's now what, two do better so anyway, I know that second city was I've, read a bunch of books about station about John Olution on itself. I knew they went to second city, so I drove up with my buddy MIKE Shomer. We came and watch you show on the way down, stares because its on the second level. I noticed that this big sign up there. They had classes and like oh, my god, thats how you get here. So then I saved my money. I came up and to a two week concentrated course of that summer.
and I say more money. I came up and Wood Chicago start study at the aisle first and then the second city the same time so Io Improv Olympics, who are some of them of that. I was here doing a ten year gross. I had dinner with a guy named Bernie Sahlins, who started the second city, and he said that he'd never seen a confluence of talent like had been there. The previous ten years, MIKE Myers Chris Farley me. Dave cap, nor did get your Tina Faye any polar Rachel, dredge ratios and jump Avril. The list goes on and on any Richter. I had to write this list down. It's so deep to some of these people are also doing second city
Dell close. Yes, he he started I'll know shown a helper and started. I oh ok, you got for sure you start Ireland. Did she basically brought Del back from the brink of nothingness because he wasn't doing anything, and so she put him as the basically the brain for the place, the intellectual master, the you know the draw near It was incredible and immense as studying, understand, Delta. What you stand with Del there's a reverence I used to compare it to. If you are training for the army, then you are on your stomach calling forward under barbed wire and there's live rounds going past you that's what I like would that's how he told that's. There was the gravity of cause. You didn't wanna fuck up, you wanna be good. The best thing about does for him. Colony was a religion right and you dont disregard
you. Dont create cheaply thats cool thats a great way to enter, and it was very, very important. You know yeah yeah, and so how then did you also do second city a? I was just taking classes at the same time there, okay and then you ended up in one of the touring companies. Yes, so you did have to audition for that. Okay, so I did levels one through five and he continued to do stuff at the io, and I would audition here to think I would audition once a year for a job like youre not going to very good at this. If you do it once a year, yes, and is it you really want yeah if in the Isyou Audition ten times, that's an issue Earth course of its acute. So I auditioned twice and I didnt get it. I thought I guess. Maybe this is it for me, but I knew I was as good as the people that were there and there was some political stuff that was going on that probably prevented me from maybe being hired earlier, but im not going to get into it cause. Then you had a name names and kind of petty about in close, not like Sony
I finally got hired the touring company and then I think, within the first year I got into the company that used to be out in near schomburg, which is closed. Now, second city northwest I was the one that closed you're welcome. I interviewed set Meyer. What was then a Bang Chicago in Amsterdam, so it's got both Mr Garriga Boom should go. I am I am proud to I'm gonna tell you guises. they discovered backstage that they have the same birthday and there been a connection ever since August, twenty four Paddy August forever,
will call you on your birthday, send it with your voter registration card, but its a conducive lifestyle to party. Yes, what is it mine, so many layers, probably but lets just say I have to imagine there is a disproportionate amount of partying among comedians, especially the Chicago comedians will feather in your cap, blue. She set the book for a lot of people? Yeah Chicago goes hard and yeah yeah, like Bernie Sanders. come back to more times just be patient hard, sander style and panel has had it quick side bar. Is that what are your nicknames in order Cleopatra Water day? Now, ive never heard What was a padded
wars. We love star wars, elinor everything about restart worries. No, knowledge of her manicured you paddle on now I need your friends tomorrow. Get nerdier friends. Will I'm a great franchise. It's wonderful, but yes, drinkers Chicago hard, wide and again, the next day, certainly a drink culture among comics yeah. Absolutely do you have a theory on it will come up with one okay. Well, let's take why a person drinks to access in the first place I think you're you're trying to regulate your insides with some external thing, because you dont love how the internal feeling, so I sure a Hussein can't handle feeling bad. That's my case. I dont think we can say that because cause, those that might be on the edge to drink. More, I put my right. Why is she real Drake.
other areas. There was an honest they pussy, which I'm not ready. Brown perfected me. So I'm sorry because we can both agree that a pussy is the most powerful thing, other planet sure absolutely yeah, no yeah. So I think we are youre on a scary, endeavor. The odds are very stacked again if you pursue a paying career in comedy, youre, pretty aware of the odds, but I think yeah that might be the starting point for everybody is like you want to tamp down all that pain, right, metals and then also, I say perhaps in comedy its a challenge to your body yourself and your mind and then oftentimes you able to really get to the heart of those emotions, though even thats in a denial state yeah. There probably is some type of erotic bonding. Yes also, I will add that its a job that youre going to fuck in VA at so hardcore
the level of embarrassment you will experience as an aspiring actor or comedian is mortifying. Like your welder, you eventually weld in front of somebody and put the fucking rod in your mouth and light your head on fire, but as if former. You will do something that far off from the objective is and you do it many many times. Yes, yeah that little whore, and then you can have your their bailed out of an audition. Oh, my god, here we go. The Larry Sanders show yes, the great Larry Sanderson. there was an episode where they had their doppelgangers. So I went in addition for every ten point. Now, I'd never seen the show not a great help. For me I was additional for Hake as the double gay or show and her I'm eating shit. Just nothing in the. Re, no less. You had to replicate his rhythms and all had out on stuff. I just didn't: have it and right
because it really worked not at all on. It turns out doesnt help, but not excellence Gary shandling sits her to go. I don't think I could do that. I mean you, you kept going. And it wasn't being a dick. It was not being a dick, it was not being a dick of hours. Scientific is like you are getting anything and you just blow through it and I took it- I took it I enjoyed because there was a sense of wonder with him yeah, but he wasn't uncomfortable. He just more kind of amazed by it. Yeah probably impressed with your fortitude. Yes yeah anyway, I didnt get that job. I have had one where I got a standing ovation from the producer, the director, the cast
director l? Clearly, this is mine. Now I'm on cloud nine- and I don't even know where that came from, but we'll get in that later, your Maxine I figure you probably already know I dont know things. I have to look them up. I should have told you can, or at the end of this episode, Monica fact checks what we said in your Monica points out, the Dac chamber, we weren't together eight times how she will fact check. This issue will point out the many times we were wrong mostly when I was out of what I is a real word- we going to have to look that up. Her birthday luncheon, you can tell me okwhat, is your favorite food cheeseburger off the top my head can in Houston what is it chicken sandwich from and so good. So bad dont, you I'm even right now
I don't know if I believe in anything he's using to you. I think he's transfixed by your beauty and your birthday and have you really had the Houston's chicken sandwich? I've had almost everything other menu, if a menu. I wish this tour was brought to us by Houston's, but it's not uses is a change of this. Isn't super insular. You can all get it and you shut the chicken sandwiches phenomenal, but the burghers amazing to ribs are not bad they're back to you shit and abandoned. Not is the one we are. No, no you guess it ain't asian. Clearly this is mine, yeah yeah, I'm driving home, and I got my age and on the line I said ones, this thing start cause I just nailed. It does the road out to another actor, a man well in their defense. It was you well, it was, but it was let go to prison. I got the role now. I have been on the other side and there have been many times or people or audition. Try to explain this to other actors. Its like someone can beat
so great and yet they're, not the right thing. Yeah the movie yet its like they do something, that's totally cool and original, and I believe it I buy it, but it's not what it's supposed to be. It has nothing to do with us, but of course I take a person I like Tgi Fridays hates me, it's my take on it and never saw it, but through your time at second, city and you end up and it sounds like we, both kind of just worship that place before head, yes, but find that the finish line for a improve sketch comedian? Yes, thats, where the natural line goes to write there, or what are you going to do right, its really narrow focus? Although what I got, I thought it shows probably run its course. That's what you thought like it. I had thought it might be just too old and tired, they should probably just go, were good.
is it still on its launched a couple folks and that your tenure we werent having a great season because as a first season for mad tv and Howard Stern, ITALY chose for their, so the ratings slip just a little bit right well already on the show Atlanta were hired the same day same day. Two six foot three gorgeous. Here are marginally amusing, piercing eyes, Bernie Sanders size, Dong so you guys got higher, and so why does overrated girls anyway, not to tell the girls? Girls know yeah, they been over it from the gap and We have asenath with his arrows, went through use. and then they carried Monica on a sedan. Chair it made her the queen of Chicago I'd, be so happy, I think
rifle AIR of Oprah. I think you should become yes, okay, I'll take it. So you go. On the show, and you thought that is part of that. Your own pessimism, just as a person like well im, I'm here must not be going you work is that's the kind of doubt I have. I didn't have that cause. I thought you're the best thing on this well know, and I thought well yeah. This is my turn. I really did believe that what age are you- and you was thirty three but I didnt start show business. So I was twenty four so yeah I had not planned, so you get a six year contract im a bit oppositional as you know, and that light and I dont suffer fools gladly- is an old Irish saying right. So if you're kind of a dick and you dont know whats going on me, I might give you the you are accorded by being a human being? Which everyone should be respected that but right often times on the show they you do this, and I this that's what's wrong with this. Show
They're, not asking me it was there long before you came to going after. You love. Yes, so I think that probably hastened my finger, the Show- and I called this one guy who was a big shot, a hack and it to him and I still stand by it im not going to tell you same name but there's one right. was riding with, and I mentioned that guy I thought was a hack and I still believe that- and I didnt know this guy was close, Guy and rather than him in the room, go at the fuck man thats, my buddy he mopes around for a week to the other guests. Wrong is Peter called you a hack so anyway, so let me ask it so I go ask you a serious question because I was kicked out of the ground lines and I was very embarrassed by that, and then I had about eighty theories on why that had happened. My talent was never part of the reasons. Thats true We wasnt as good as I thought it's quite likely
Maybe I was not differential. The people who deserve to have some respect that built the place. You know a lot of stuff. I was not cool that I did know, but I was embarrassed as hell because I had dedicated the last to seven years of my life to this whole. That long and then- and I didn't end up grant live and I didn't wasn't on tv channels like wow, so that's the end of the line, and so I was like the right is completely over and it was fucking brutal. So I have to imagine doing just a year on
and I was fucking brutal, whether you wanted to get out of there or not. I didnt say you want. I wanted to do it on my terms right and I didnt and it hurt like a mother yet because its a very public one, the thing that helped a little bit was it Lauren did not want me to go. The ratings had dipped a little bit because of competition and late night, so he was forced to make changes whether he wanted to or not so myself Nancy walls who Steve Carell's, wife. Now I was then as well very, very nicely wonderful long with her, and very funny too, second city alone and then mark in mines going to be let go too, but so Lauren could protect one pond basically and had a long relationship with more bikini going back to kids in the hall. So I understood that, but I was really puzzling. I had a very successful Eyelid remembered you so well. Ok that year, one hundred percent- there is two people who I was like: why is
because I was younger, a litte younger than you and its like im confused how this works. The other one was like Sarah Silverman, I loved her and she would do weekend update and- and I was just wait- what happened to that person right and again never understanding how any of it were. Lauren told me my file Dave you're on the radar. You'll do fine! Oh that's a great age. It was. I came out and got a holding deal immediately in LOS Angeles, so that was good that I did show up. People did know who I was like that helped, but it hurt like a mother fucker and I dont whether the same way you did in but a little more traditional way. So was beer and about a pound and a half ago Kay right right, which I never more more wholesome approach.
and also coming out the pain, its comforting to know that, because youre doing cocaine, someone is dying literally getting shot for you, but somewhere in south of the that's the silver line. You know thats true resorting dashes and has potentially been in someones ass as they walked across the on order border that I like I like that that know whatever it with anything you shouldn't put in your body. Well, thats whats funny is there. as one person in the line when you're doing coke. They had their own dollar bill like they didnt want to be The people know a great policy, but an occasionally like what were Norsemen in someone's asshole? youre worried about whats on my nose, yeah robber, all of a sudden bang, Onrails ere doing the electrical damage to or hard is you're worried about. I vote in one in
though we all have had to see tell you you make a living you get by, but then you have an explosion, obviously by two thousand and four to two thousand and six is a pretty incredible, ride two years, folks alike. I know you and you've had a fair kidding, im kidding one of your career, but im saying I dont ive got a lot right. Then things started popping and your in one of the biggest movies of the year. You do anchor man your exceptional. Some of these guys were old friends. You met will farrel so you guys got a long well animated he wrote in raced it a curl I'd known for years, yeah, the best the best may be. The nicest person libres, pretty amazing, eatery seller, but that relate person I had not met was Paul, but I was just in the symmetry of all those guys, the geometry, the way it just worked. I wondered watching it. How much of that was improved? We would shoot every
We shoot what scripted three times, so you have it right and then we would improvise every scene after that, thats, not every director whos death to doing that. Right, wrangling it or so her article throw things out that he wants you to play with Raki. We we we you say: okay, let's let the squirrel out of the bag is what Adam would say. He would throw out ten different things that are funny with that. What we just did he's just immense and able yeah. But anyway, you throw out ideas on the comment one to like play with this, or this thought that kind of thing and then you would just get to play, and so I think the thing that maybe heightens what happened in Ackerman is, you know, look your job as an actor anyway is to listen, but really a lot of artists. my turn: okay, yeah yeah, I'm listening for my turn. I listen to tech you're not fully engaged, but if you are improvising you have who out to be listing, so I think chemically that changes
the tamer of whats, going on a little bit. Yeah does even when you're just doing the scripted stuff you know later were on the device. So Kenner raises the level of attention. Yes, is it the most fun you've ever had acting well, you and rating gether. So I let That now you can say it. That's on incredible group. I would say that, and then there
smaller movie. I did that. I want you to all watch, but it's not for kids and it's not necessarily comedy cheap thrills was another special experience. It was just yet it's good. It's a drama. Yes, yes, it's twisted what I wanted to say this to you and I'm sincere. We had a episode, this season of buses mess where Dave's cuts is dumb, offer the machete and them it was really really funny and avert with David that time you know seven different projects, but I was floored with what a good actor you are. I mean I was full Lord, it's a heightened. I mean it's a preposterous seen it's a kid, cutting this thumb up, but then there's a hospital scene and you're so emotional, your crying I'm supposed to be kind of annoyed by the whole thing, which is hard for me because I'm getting I've won a hug. You you're there in its foreign Kommeni, but that's my favorite kind of community action,
which is like you're not in on the joke, you're really plain, and that your son is here, and you were just beautiful in that scene. I mean its cute in a way thats communic, but you are crying on every single. Take you didnt care. If they made you do ten more, I was getting protective of you ten. You guys got a you gon make tenor. I can do this its killing me. I was actually loving it. You dont, get a cry, Memy daughter out youre bad at that dads. Kind. One. My daughter told me my bird was ugly. That's what we call a penis and its also. What we call the giant ad says to catch all for genitalia. I mean we also save agin in penis, but we also, I grew up, calling it a bird, my mom Elinor, birdie huh, oh no, just on its pan. In my six year old, who was then five Esas dad rise your bird ugly
What was it? is a lot of ugly wood. Do you think this is ugly with you get on the scene? This is considered a so you're here also. You were also incredibly good, and I was so glad you got the opportunity to go and thank you for smoking. I think you are inthat, who is a bad mother? and your holding your own and then some in all those scenes. You are incredible in that you can do it all, and ive been really just blown away and impress by being think tanks to you so many times, ten genuine! Thank you all the things things they tuned for more live show after this exciting commercial break. supported by joy, bird furniture. You know a lot of folks on our social media. Feed are commenting on the fact that we have now have a triangle: offense arthritis in the studio
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furniture. That brings you joy today at joy, bird dot, com, twenty five go to Joyner, receive an exclusive offer for twenty five percent off your first order by using code twenty five too. for we go tonight. I also want to is a much bigger part of Dave Kane than being tremendous comedian. A great actor is, he also has five children, which is three many children to have as a group you had a great lets, agree and I met you, Yes, Charlie and Margo Margo, beautiful kids. I want a stop there. Person, ecause, the other three are lesser than just like
I want to have some more money, but you went on a journey that it is one of the craziest stories. I've ever heard with number five number five, so we got married, we got pregnant right away, so got married in June. We were pregnant in September. No one would probably look at me in the eye. Bertha birthday, girl, you're, my bird works the potent birds of potentates your birds, so, okay, we get married and then we get pregnant right away and then everything is going great and then five weeks before Charlie has to be born, my wife wakes up in the middle of the night and she's bleeding. So I thought you know what lets
the hospital sure, craziness grand idea, novel idea, very novel yeah. We go there they're doing in emergency c section so little of the night, and I will say I do the story in my stand up. So there might be some jokes coming along as well. So anyway, Charlie is out in twenty minutes, because that's why it works see section boom he's out. I go over and I take a picture with a disposable camera of Charlie and I don't have time Tell you were suppose, very retro, theyre back in and im heading back to my wifes side and the doctor female doctor. She looks up for my wife's stomach like this. My first was a stealing something you're just catch you with it
gold coins in my way better than a goose, as it turns out much die than that. My wife had a rare thing called placenta, a creature. Normally the placenta grows up to the uterus and when its time to go the Bluenotes Heyman great hang. you hear all the excitement going on out there. I've been here since begin the reception im gonna get us out. Where do they see this bag? Come im going to be there, for life loses out right to the garbage like what the fuck. I could be, a hat hey on so that's normal, so but in placenta, Creta, the bluegrass into the uterus and when its time to go like fuck that shit, I'm not going to be a hate So the result is my wife is bleeding to death for three and a half hours on the operating table and then trying to stop the bleeding, because now the uterus is kind of like a colander just holes. So you can't really stop it.
So after three hours they say: listen, we have to take your wife's, uterus or shes. Not. To make it, and I say you wouldnt, take it yours, because I'm not going to raise that kid by myself, yeah right! No, I'm not selfish right. a very, very generous So when it comes to making decisions about female reproduction, you should probably ask the oldest middle aged white in the room or that a macro decision like legislation, it should be old rich. White guys they should make the choices for all of us. I agree, Areor, you can fucking vote whatever you want to do.
They come to the next day. They say well, thank God, you're alive of it all right, no lawsuit. What else they said. You can still have your own children because we left your ovaries if you remember from v. biology. The ovaries are on the outside of the uterus and they look like upside down color the good crunchy ones, when you order calamari for the table The rules you take four os in one one. I can be a dick about this youth etag Adate, one parking itfor the table Then we investigate gestational surrogacy. Now it's a business there's an as you go to they match you with woman has already signed up to whos already had her own children and that you actually give them the storybook of your life and why you know are dependent on them to carry your children.
And then you agree to work together and then you buy a truck and you fill it full of money and leave it right there and the next procedure is they take. from my wife's calamari and I of course have with your starter as the medical term is I to pull come from my cock every scientific It is that Latin We wont until Monday, when she does her fact. Please academythe so me into the small room, pretty a room at the meal table and than MLS Cup and there's a penthouse Nineteen, eighty nine there that in the out. It came just from this alga
was the last time I seen the hair ive then I handed to the nurse I'm pretty sure she will get me and then again I'm not a doctor. I don't know what happens, but my guess is my wife's eggs are in a series of Peter dishes: They take the lid off and probably just you know, yeah, theres so much nowadays, theyre putting it in a tshirt, can, and I just blatant that's how it goes again. Not a doctor today we got made. No one in here thinks your doctor just going forward. No ones going to To give a paper. At the end of this, I thought I had her food so anyway, we got eleven embryos use the first three put him in our surrogate.
your daughter Margo. Will they put the other two groups in two groups of four and they freeze them, but I'm going to get mark on like we're good boy girl, we're good and my wife guy still goes. No, no. Those are babies and I thought well I thought he'll probably forget about it. Cause you cant, find her fucking, tease thing guys, oftentimes, forget Follow up loud conversation like oh we've got eleven. Are we going to use all lets say I dont know guys for some reason. If you woke up tomorrow, this conversation, you never have you wake up like honey by the way in the future. For some reason I dont know eleven embryos. When do we have to use them and the wife yeah. I thought so too. I just want make sure were the same pain.
now im going to go back to sleep hopefully forever, so weve got eight left and two groups before and a couple years later my wife said we should try that again what happened all right. Another truck agency, all that stuff, throw out the first Roboform and there's three be one surrogate boom. We get the twins and others two boys and two girls thats two pair I dont know. If you play cards, I would bet raising call onto pair. what other firearm card see it. So my west come usually like. We should try those, sometimes what do is ill gather all the kids around the fireplace, go to the atm and pull out whatever is in there, and I will just go look kids. This is
You were born. I forgot to set this whole thing up with a different joke at the top. It doesn't matter. You have four kids you he goes. We got to get a fifth. Do you go? Why? like. Are we starting of religion? Are we do? We live on a six hundred acre farm. I dont know about well my wife because they were a lie. They were an okay, great, okay and nosy. I just felt, like I cant, make that moral choice for her right now right now, this last group, then you know there. For ten years I like there not going okay, you. A guy optimistically pessimistic right.
decide in advance? What is going to happen? It doesnt, so we get pregnant right away and at the two month sonogram they can see everything these days. The doctors like hey, youre, the couple: listen, we need to talk to you. We see something thats good, so we go in there and they say: listen theres, something really wrong with your daughter, her! you're gonna be twisted the twisted her brains? Not growing she's got all these markers nor she won't even know who you are. She found yet have to her heart approached ratio in the first year. You should go ahead and terminate now. I dont make judgements about anybody's body or do whatever you want to do, but in this process Clr instance. I'd already spent a lot of money. You will recall, and gambling pot committed so now in a high stakes, game of poker with I dont know right, maybe the Lord and the devil who is at the table?
No! I is, if you don't know who the fish is these essentially I had so anyway, I'm all in fact Gimme that FIFA card, so we can go the news gets worse and worse. Every month the woman, assign to our case would cry when she saw us on the list. That's how bad it was rife. Really, click. Are you if you, if you were me, I'm like ok, so my life will now be on a really brilliant trajectory. The over my whole life will be in service yeah yeah, that's it yeah, and how did you sit with that that's interrupted it just isn't. It was what it was, and you heard it we're running here except in smoking, but it was my wife response was she's gonna, those kickass wheelchair anyone's ever see that's cute so anyway, but like well. Ok, here we go so get worse. Worthwhile sonogram I came in from, I was Canada shooting final destination, five you're welcome.
se for sale in the lobby. She rises on those, but I dont know what you find a player, but just to have, I think, ass, really so anyway, they do. In the fifth months, anagram nice big plasma, screen tv and half way through the middle of the gallows. This is miraculous, there's nothing wrong with your daughter and my website. Woody miraculous is like she seems to be fine, as it turns out. What had happened was are surrogate her daughter had a thing called this disease, which is rare and it's just a one day. Rash on the face in the belly. Then it goes away, but it can be fatal to a fetus and normally is, and so in each case, what happened was she got a thing called parvo virus that was causing all these markers and her body to react? The way it did so she was so kick ass. She shut her body down, thought that off and the nine months later she was born perfectly healthy. The best news is
Ben knows his. She looked just like her dad. No fellas imagine this nice shirt short skirt, I think so. That's incredible! Thank God. She looks like your mother, shes, beautiful, but yeah. So that was the thing and you know who knew was going to be my life in terms of all of these children in the way we're gonna have them yeah. I couldn't have fathomed that you know, but it's fun. It's loud yeah cost a little bit of money. Do you notice I stop coming over after you get her a third one, the they all love each other and my daughters. I've asked them and theyre going to have. I always thought we can say none,
sure given whats going on in our house but Margot and are both said four wow. Okay, I haven't fucked up too bad yeah theyre, good people, Margo three boys have come out to her like they knew that she was a safe harbor and a person whose heart is as deep and thank you for bringing and all you guys Dave cater one of the most beautiful people to ever come out of Chicago thank give cater for flying or a law. One. Thank my soul, may not as maths again for being the perfect God. We hope. You'll have us back. Goodnight and now my favorite part of the show the fact check, with my soul mate Monica Batman,
A you check. The facts of this show who you check out the fat show. a. Welcome to the Czech hello Heller her. This is not a moonlight fact. Czech people should now it's a dead heat fact check. Yes, warm in here you will, you got a pretty dense sweatshirt on no. No. This is a turtle. letter sweater is short sleeve the EMU, as it churns out just a little bit talon of asleep yeah, but you're real hot, it's sweaty in her youi'm uncomfortable when I'm sweaty.
but you're waffling arise because you said my gonna sending away has that you had far prefer to be hot and cold, and I think I stand by that. Well, I just like to be contemplated. Yeah temperate. We are. We all do. Guess What I'm glad we're doing this today vehicle in trouble. You are you always, I know Dave Keck. Now the US and I have the same birthday. Oh, you sure do in its tomorrow s yeah and I have to tell you- I'm been talking all week about it as he has. In fact, he did ask me for, your info nos like AL, give it to, and then I simply forgot think he wanted to check in on you yeah. He said he that he was call me on my birthday- and I guess you sticking to his word and we're going to connect
Maybe you guys will go out for a birthday, coffee, dont. You find it would right. He says he does that he, like his birthday buddies. That share has they are something in the Aldershot you're just as price you loved birthdays. Oh, I would be about their body. In that case, sure I like going to people's birth is celebrating MA. Am you give them feel good, giving them present but yes, character as birthday bodies? But you know: wasn't my us to do this, but an Alison say content, but I actually invited him to your birthday party tomorrow harm because he brought it up It was your birthday yeah that Lenny saying to him to down unset which he hated and what are you doing for your birthday and he said nothing. and then I was like I really was like. Maybe
come celebrate with us with monk yeah. Well, You know from having no plans to plans plan. I know I dont. Listen I'd love for him to come to my birthday, right. All circumstance. Well know it's just that we're going to Houston for my birthday and they only let you bring six people. I know this is already a problem because there, seven the seven year thing come. I'll get my own table, you skin it there and I will take one for the birthday team, I'm willing to be No, I want you to be at my birthday, okay. Well, then, who we get kicking Otome? I ask
only one for six, so I could be of weird voyeuristic perverse fantasy is that you wanted to watch your friends celebrate your birthday and you actually didn't want to be present, so you sat at the table by yourself staring at the six top cell All I feel like something Michael Jackson would have done if yeah thats cheats Anne is bad So many way it's like wanting to attend your own funeral right, but it's also. Yet it's like Everyone saying about me, but also lay well and at the assumption, is you're so confident its positive that you do want to watch, yeah there going to be talking about it like they're, probably not the person that would host this kind of party is certain they're going to talk about her Walter, you and positively, but is also like sort of. Barter like just
sure let you guys enjoy my birthday and its fine like I'll, be over here, and this one person see this high chair. I myself being no, it's fine events just enjoy it. Ok, I'll pay for it had. I may have to solve the ok, oh, my goodness, what a breakthrough! Oh, why of course- only sex, but I'm sure if there's six people in a baby, you could put the baby seat on the table and that would count- and we could put you in the baby seat. What a hack, how we re dissolved? The name you yeah says that is those those hanging hide chair, yeah no less sick on the table, a just peace at the table, its not seeding. I bet I could for all for sure reassure those big, some big baby, diners, no good sized baby dying of cash
think about baby Billy. A posting about righteous gemstones all week. Long is suspiciously been hired by. I get this much I now and in the light of his carriage, but today I perceive that another shell free bag cause what Emmi nomination. Now, because I got this pan all right, I saw you. In fact, I saw your post, which I liked, and then I went to your page seo many followers you had. I do I do that today. I don't think I've looked maybe ever yeah. Why would you I dont know yeah? I was love a lot of horse, Daleko here are all arm cherries, so the best roles you could possible with her yeah. I just love it. I was wondering like Monica is starting to get hired to post of her approaching you at that, and to
I wonder how many followers someone has to have where they start offering that Elias you leave the brand up. You got offered a trash bag campaign. We just I'm with. I don't think I've ever said that ended the my love one. She you got offered. The trash I don't know via the internet like the light bulb campaign or the floor. Now its is worth your right laborers, because a mob completely know it sounds like you're just using a euphemism like they were at that for Ashdown right. What we ve similar- that's it is they who this is whoever referring to some bright. They got as that. Yes, exactly like this,
is that trash bag offer yeah anyway lets talk about, though how we could have made sweet lemonade ok. Well, I guess I could have withering suggested. no it was very first step Goran preliminary. I guess what I would have done is just filled these bags with resides this Foto an Oreo and good, so well that smart thats, like the politician thing, Anto the question you asyou House, that's right, I always say: dress for the weather. You want not the weather. You have, oh, my gather, so much wisdom in belabor like today I am wearing a Torinese ter and you were doing the will some cool most. I want to it wasn't that hot outside today it was kind of nice at least up and help,
fire canyon, where I oneyou have been in the heat of a tree just nine hours on a branch just baking. It was more it's impossible to sit on something's. Cylindrical. Without your legs falling asleep. It's like you're sitting on a foam roller. Nine hours but Caner NI, who were on the branch together, oh for having a field between the two of us about this? Everyone thinks so glamorous and really is sitting on a Yankee Tree star Flim for nine hours. It's not all fun games, but there is a lot of the most adults on hauntings. I used to sit on a roof for long out. Many people, but I didn't have Dave Keener next to me, that's true. That is is that you had an weekly thats, true,
you just flipped it on me, yeah, oh and did now kind of perfectly happened back around? We meant to do that okay, so you said that gators are very tender lovers, Alligators Florida, I think you mean alligators BO and I don't think that's true at home without even I didn't look, ok kind of more counterpoint. I don't think so by the way, how rough old, because the little arms or name sure how there holding one another. The other thing I dont Vesna Eightfoot tales covering the vagina. Is it nowwhat? Do you Why would it be covering the single animal rear animal kingdom? You in the animal kingdom picture hard? who horses right now or see Brasilia, pitcher or near I. What that looks like Donnie style
Oh yeah yeah owing using hails on those lag, either go doggies down. They must go belly the belly or something because we are, he can't live that. Tell me did they do missionary. have you ever seen footage of two crocodiles making love If they do do it missionary, then my statement was bad right. Well, you know you can still be not gentle and bemiss nary picture to missionary alligators. That could only be general that part of their bellies parties her sole part but theyre, not like kissing stop because then theyll kill each other on, even if they do valleywide belly on their side. There's no way one gets completely on its back. If you totally, they do it in the water upside down, in the water. When we had thought of upside down,
like one of them, is upside down. Missionaries you ever born more ovi or that is kind of bang. In there I mean ansara extras if you loose well, it is doggy style. wait. It is so. This is a big board. I don't know really. Causes more questions than answers. The photos confuse issue This one is on top of the other leg, dog Yesall Ight, but theres, no, because well, the name, but did he twist his hips clockwise? and she counterclockwise so that they made it. I dont think they can unhinge like that, articulate I dont think so they see wonders of Itwell The question remains, I guess I guess maybe they are tender. I dont know also crocodiles aren't the same as alligators
if they have completely different ways of making love well, I have to Serota. I have to assume if they're all doing it yeah the same way: crock crock and allies and salt water crocks now wow so. He said I hate to do this on his birthday, but I have to the oldest prison in the country is inside Joliet prison where you guys shot, let's go to prison. Well, I don't even think they were in Illinois for long long after they got here But I guess it was like another tinier prison inside Joliet prison give it surely they would have had to build prisons in Boston and until it, although it yeah so the one before they ever went Illinois. He is wrong yeah, so the New Jersey, Intentia house was the first state president wait. One should put your glasses on why
Okay, just listen to this one, it's okay, the one thousand seven hundred and ninety eight New Jersey, Penetentiary House, which was the first state in New Jersey and the third and the nation after the Walnut Street jail in Philadelphia and New gate in New York City is also the oldest building still in operation as part of an active working prison in the United States and got it ok, so new gate was first sounds like New York City and then all Walnut Street jail and now New Jersey, penitentiary house, but thats still up and running, was on urge brought you can get your you were right. I found myself here I I could alighted said that the other thing I was going to say was someone else here: how do say it? No! No, no ooh good. I got an interesting email papa,
Oh my own values. They counted so you said that in bowling Brook there was an Applebees and chiles and then nothing else and look. There are other restaurants there like cha gacha brazilian steakhouse. Really you know this was for years right now using gamma go. Pork Presa chamber was there. I did you. Chana gacha. No, to out about to say China, because I cant really say this well, I do need my glasses Chama, Gaucha Tamago.
So my gaucho than its resilience, the brazilian stake house? Also, a restaurant called allegory. They serve pheasant popeye of our lives, frozen Papa yeah. You should have gone there as have apple these, our chillies name, sure it was there. Both. We continue. The waste There are many restaurants on yelp, okay, also there might have been more streets. I was aware of emboar certainly our exit where we were staying at this Those were the outthis is my point here: Sawant one block, and so you can't say theres only two restaurants, when you only want one block. This is my point. This is the point. Americanthe whole point, dont reduce by
broke down will. Actually then, I guess you we'd be calling both David David and I Elia cause. He too was there ever he doesn't. Let aimed at present said Billina. Now. Ok, anybody didn't You forgot about allegory and coach okay well, he was talking about his first joke that he did in his classroom. That was a hat based, joke right, you said I used to play a game where you would pull a hat down over people's eyes say what happened in Chicago at some time. You know whatever again in the lights, went out, so that your thinking, I think the northeast black out of nineteen sixty five, but that wasn't in Chicago Chicago didn't, have a hasn't. Had a blackout like that that I could find that good. Yes, Did you guys do that what we want? No, no! Okay! Thank you. I got
ashenden see if he remembers exactly what I could have been something you guys made. I raised on no fact. Well, I was passed on to me for sure. Right, though, be. data on Ill. Do some thing on my Colin instance or point right now. It is, shall we botnet inly green hat but cut a thinko? I gonna read its text. Can I ha it's so funny oh, my god. Oh my god, I did not know this last was lucky mare. Ok, let me just start with you sent me a pitcher of cedar point and there is a pinks chile. they built a pink there, how he see varnished at cedar point its pinks and I said what the fuck we have the onion ring hot dog with barbecue sauce. You must get it its so much tastier than it should be. He said, consider it done
since I've been humiliated by not fitting on most of the sweet rollercoaster prison, I think it's driving me eat as much as possible. Today I heard her that's what I intended on reading an eminent just as artist my fit. I wish it was funny enough to make that up I believe that others that was sitting there should menanti what I have. He got a big. all things in the recording Bagthis, not as fit okay, okay, I am with detours the northeast black out. Nineteen sixty five. That effect even of Ontario Connecticut Massachusetts, new Home for New Jersey, New York, Rhode, Island, Pennsylvania and Vermont Cacao
new- had a lot of other options, but not the one will again just do some light digging up my room and I'll see if I can bear, or that comes grain. Ok, so he was talking about pathos and Baithanus offer. Yes, then, in fact we are worthy. Fifty said: hey Shap, I'm dying to hear Artifacts is a word. It is This is a word, but it's is really the word that he described this is okay. Im going to read just remind everyone when balkan you. He said, there's peasants, This is a sad, wet dog, but be those, is a grandmother is lonely and its Easter weekend and her family didnt come and shes in her rocking chair and she is holding a mug that says world's greatest grandma that she
is herself on the counter. She does have an answering machine and her grand kids called and say sorry we're not going to make it again this year and the mug crashes to the and then on the television here. The shock on the shotgun blast. Old, yeller, im bad bat out Gowhat a thing he can be. I now wow that in his holster make no one else. I think he was making that up on this. By enacting, I really can train Israeli go do good to be written almost that's why it's Meda, yeah right. You got me budget. Our side, man, I'm figuring out so much as your attention today, is to have your campaign slogan for twenty twenty
figuring in on one a pedigree that is ready, go school because it's like you're, not a bigger yeah. This Merp for, like a change in hardware and a challenge redial, do it yeah, oh great tips, you the tee. Speaking of that, we went to the four brothers concert last night, my own here and the one of their teachers which I didn't get to buy, but I wanted to buy or sell is a bit Aviate wanting twenty hes like that Pentagon Could anyone run as a team, a brother team yeah for president yeah would like to that, the of course they know twins twins want to run for the Office of President yeah. Is there anything
things, as one may, only one per cent afterwards, as man that's Cerulia cause, you could see the making a pretty good case for right. You know two twin I make a whole. You know a lot of twin so I feel like their personalities like do you feel like they make a hole will be oh well, you're in the same way that, like a married couple, can make a whole person, although what's a whole person. Do you lead poses that yeah I mean would be a perfect hole, yeah and the tortures they are eating. Yeah yeah, I do like all the personality? of one person, the other person doesnt have or has the skills. Then they have other problems well on other twin fixes now is that across the twin spectrum, are you including identical twins into that,
or just fraternal, because I am not to say the fraternal twins of known, I think, varied Obviously they vary more personality. Wise right, the identical twins up known, I guess this would only apply to. I guess this would apply to identical. Win specifically because they got Brogan in half. I think it's all twins, I think it's all had already made a whole logo, so I'd be down with voting for a set of twins as one yeah there's one whole person, one perfect person, I guess, though, what if they got split on a decision thats, why they couldn't allow it? Because there's no third, there's no third vote. Well, there's! So they would they could cancel each other out of the triplets. Like
now. No doubt nope nope tripling do not make a whole. Oh ok, make a hole in a half ass. Another makes a lot of sense, but at the same time they would serve as a Czech some balance system Thatthis, would just team up on the week. Twenty Yelle is replied all right. Well, just go back to a regular system. I know a bate, those okay, bye. Those refers to. abrupt and often ludicrous transition from the elevated to the ordinary. It's a form of anti climax, its a touch of abstract, it is, Bates is a noun in a literary term that describes a situation in which a serious emotional and heartfelt story full of genuine insight and emotion, suddenly sinks to contemplate something trivial or every day. I can think of a lot of movies that do that really. Well
like you, can easily see a scene set in a nuclear reactor, were everything's going crazy right and then in the two guys operating the control. One goes like: can you funthe we should avoid over three years. So yes, so yeah, I gonna that's bathos. Is usually a transgression performed by poor riders, though bathos may be used by comedy writers to get great effect. Consider the gradual marks quote I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it there. You go boom balanced I really like Keenesburg and so my again, we got to find out if that in the chamber, an okay. So I aint definitely need to correct this. You said snap chats out of bus.
Also filed bankruptcy. Neither true! No. They actually completed a pretty successful ipo two years ago, but okay I guess the stock is down the stocks bend down a little bit, but there is no bankruptcy and arm is Madame. I just wandering were what headline I read that lead lead me to believe this in two years: stocks down, sixty percent. well from the twenty four dollars and fifty cents price it closed on. At his first day of public trading co kit- yeah. So all the other was that you going up in that one.
It has filed bankruptcy, deal unexhausted great. Yes, I need the recent that clearly and apologize actually big time in existence. You know that old person thing that everyone's posting, those old person picture that Snapchat. What were we were? We told that that was some kind of China, the outgoing rushing up, Russia. We were told there is some russian involvement Bush. What's this, I want the generic song for like a black man ass. You here, they're gonna. Do you hear the lad? You know the song yeah. What is russian Russian is anger net. Do don't do
I mean that is well lets. Just say this. I hear that I know media and long with Russia. Rallied aerator my goodness, that's a lot of music that sounded distinctly russian. Did it not if I heard that I might think it was like cuban or something really I feel like it was opening credits to a movie set in Moscow like a Schwarzenegger film, all rights, real, disagree, okay, so we What disparagingly now a few times- and I just want to say please- NOAA when I say that Russia can, I loved it. The people were lovely. I like Russians, I guess they want anyone who might be listening to Russia to think we have anything. It's Russians. We now know we don't know but
it makes for an easy joke. Quite often we currently in our country its my for front of our thinking since Linefor five early yeah it especially not cold war. Special. Ok, I have to correct you on something. Okay, I think you may it's so conscious about this Seathe Roscoe. I don't really want to correct you, but I have to aviation maybe just because you're talking fast or something, but you often say Samir Meyer and it Seth Meyers, but for sure made made that mistake yeah. If you would have just given me a multiple choice where was Myers admires, I wouldn't I
right right or I will be a guess. Yeah you'd pick see dont. Now, though, we were just in the car Listenin Interview with him and stern, and I was going on and on about how unbelievable I think he is yes, I would love ants. Villain are shout yeah, so there's no like love by a year. I dont know others Meyer, my area its Meyer, even though is one of not explain his productivity, yeah. I wonder if okay, this will happen with him because he's pretty perfect. So he had one of those situations where, where there were twins, two half twins. Two twins: half personalities you? Now again, it was one of those were the twin eats the other twin, oh you yo, and they knew that euro. So then they come up for me.
So then he got all that twin stuff and he is a perfect person. Wow we figured about. He was a twin, so Seth Myers just moving forward as in to put the US on their live, pluralize. Everything and yea im dropping the plural. You really die. Switching all of it make mistakes. Every turn you respect him. So I want you to respect or to pronounce his name correctly. Yeah, okay, So where did cloud nine come from the phrase? Mmm big question, the question of the moon economy: or explanation is that the expression originated as one of the classifications of cloud which were defined. By the? U S, weather beer in the fifties in which nine denotes the fluffy
cumulonimbus type that are considered so attractive, a very visual samanth. Explanation is that the phrase derives from Buddhism and that cloud nine is one of the stages of the progress to enlightenment. There are these explanations hold water according to this site? Okay, so they give reasons why I dont need to get into that point. Is we dont really know gotten frustrating that there aren't any clear answers for the for anything like ten years ago. Methe internet was big enough to go on the answer. I know and it could be fall Praat least as long as we all have the same false answer in her head. The better thats. All right thing save Carthat was a lot of fun, happy birthday, Monica Pa Mo and David. Did I tell people at your age. Yeah Monica turns thirty, two a looks very youthful. Thank vibrant.
Energetic. Thirty two is such a lame number. I do you, belly, good, really, thirty good at thirty feel good. I feel good, but I do feel I put it this is the first birthday I've ever had were. I want to just put a trash bag over my head and kill myself its the first they have ever had where I don't feel like anything changing at all in a great way, but it just feels like. Oh it's just the literally just another day on earth. Thirty is the same as thirty one from I would have to say thirty, two so far, maybe my favorite age because I am you know twelve years younger than I am now so I feel better and I'm no longer. You know
like a dumb ask I'm out of my twenties like the more spore in youthful. Yet your mature, interesting for me. Okay, that makes sense, I think I felt that this year, so this, just like more of the same thing right right, I feel like I crescendos thirty and thirty, two maybe haven't crescendo yeah. Maybe I'll crescendo now lay save women's sexual beakers later so you could have a longer crescendo. How well the weather goodnight