Armchair Expert Live from Dallas at The Majestic Theatre. August 18th, 2018.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Appeals? I love you, you guys from the bottom of my heart. It's so flattering that you guys would drive down near and buy tickets and listen a yacht. Act to make me happy, it is really I'm going to ask for real. We sit in the attic, as you know in so to come out and see like nearly two thousand arm chair
he's in the flash. It's really it's very heartwarming. I also brought with me the tiniest human, We now see miniature person with a gigantic brain. Please welcome my soul. My mom, don't we look funny next to each other? You got things so many of them in one space Are you guys hooking? That's what we want. We do, I'm gonna break. Out somebody that many of you will already now, because he is a Dallas legit
this means the legend Gordon Key Envy Gordon. Please join us on the couch, I'm gonna get monitor them. I thought so. I fell in love with Gordon, prior to even knowing that he a lived in taxes, Dallas Texas, or that you were a radio personality here because Gordon did and on a radio personalities out the stock.
Full of radio personalities, Gordon do any of you still do. But when you are promoting a movie, you do these junkets in your at a hotel for two days straight and you sit in a room and then they bring in journalists. Every journalist, every journalist and you you'd do six minute interviews and you do it for about ten hours. He knew a couple hundred interviews a day and then I discovered Gordon because he would do interviews with people and they were the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. He out will fare old will fare? for anyone who is not seen as you do video. I would not want anyone to pull their phone out during this performance, but go to them. I threw me watch it Funny is interview ever ever films. You will was in town, promoting CASA de me, pottering custody may foundry, you guys You're gonna get home tonight. Even if this thing's Abbas, just
learning about this. Video will be a big win. You'll be in bed with your partner night, like is not involved in person, Garcia Podcast whether it be tall or anyways, I guess we should check out this video carefully war overalls. What is it and then you want, this. Video in general all have been worth the effort indeed, and so wife, and I were obsessed with this video and then we started requesting that George. We basically said we won't do oppress junker unless Gordon he was there, and I am the most disappointed I've ever been in myself was when you interviewers, because I just I couldn't get through it, you're too good yeah. You know, you said this. Is: u you laughed and new hated yourself for breaking the eleven and laughing at a joke. And it was on the Willem defer line. I think it was like the rapporteur. I am just reparation- memory you sat now in prison, I knew
You guys are known, is kind of of the third highest genome. Third, greatest Hollywood couple go on right now, and I said that you said who behind who yeah then I have to come up with who- and I said we'll branch Selina, because at the time they were here and so overwhelming devotes dragon around these When the vote was dragged is revealing days, they weaken unburied types physically, it don't matter using illegal labour, have long as well the foes dragon around there, the so that one got me, but even worse? Is youth typically ask me and I still don't you mean tracheotomy in use? No, as a tricky asked me
because tracheotomy is the procedure and tricky asked me is the actual hall, I couldn't really recover from the crisis didn't much much better in the interview than either. Do you have to do so now you know you're so personable and wealthy Well, that's why I'm rather unite. I think you I have a lot in common oddly enough. Yes, we both slept with crystal ball. That's right. We we both guys
at the same time been there's no reason avail remission, learning something he was he was there is invited into the marital blurring, is started off as you observe, and we should say that yeah medicinal and I just wanted to watch and see how it went down. I just want to say how that yeah, how does Hollywood? Do you right here and then you will find us any higher dream and then I entered in that's right you had to go, make a sandwich. Yes, So I wonder where you can. I just say this: no ordinary job. You did sleep, my with my wife, I've. Never I've never seen a glow like that, and I sold an orgasm, it's great. So I've heard that word yes orgasm different from organism corrected you, you probably always been few. I've always had a confused right. I thought my jobs done
she's, an organism, okay, so Then there is also. Another interesting thing is that you are discovered by Ashton. Culture is that kind of fair to say, that's her to say, ok, because you're on pumped I was up on it. Thank you guys. I think you know that I had a complex about that now, you're being supportive, and I appreciate you What's a mother, I really did why, because one, started doing movies, the interviewers would be they would say, like you know, what's it like to act for the first I am, and I always got offended by the like. I felt like mind you. I now realized it was all my own insecurities. I thought they were implying. That I had been unlike big brother right. That's what I They thought because I was in secure in and I've tried. That's
that's what I thought such regional whores. I didn't do quite enough. Research apparent any good like. I would prefer to go back that having that insecurity, the band you, but I have Interesting Ashton, culture story, not me is greatest, the ones you have, but when he's doing those junkets. There were several people who took an interest in me after I interviewed them, ok, and why of them was Ashton, culture doesnt support, really I interviewed him and Rob Cordery for some. Again, I don't know what movie it was citizen, Kane right that's the one with Rosebud as that hearing they smoke rosebud guy and we I did a search for rose, but on Youporn it's not the same as that. So I and after after I finished interviewing am course you go back to the green room and some horrible food and body- came in and said: hey, I'm Ashton, poachers whatever per
I imagine poachers signed Human and Ashton Watch. Your number he thinks you're too big to be in Dallas. Now. Ok, ok, let's everyone does. And right. All that was what's pause. One agitated images, let's David, he he pleaded mean anything bad. Doubtless that's annex various! Isn't this guy, so I mean I'm really flattered. You know Miss Ashton country. He thought he saw. Something in me and he wants my number in, and so I said to the person I said you know hey. We please tell Mr Culture
The forgot insulting Dallas is not going to do it, so he got my number Gideon Dizzy. I hear this despite my vulgarity end, I never heard from him double track. I would have left Dallas and I can only imagine you pack those bag, and second, you mean I was ready to prevent Munemori like a lunch, and I go to work. You like me, I'm gonna call. I don't need to go in the next day doing going because it This is what MRS Ashton's call can afford it. They call me so I never come in, but I thought it was interesting that he did approach me and he actually followed.
With you and what you want to show tat, he took me out of that Backwater Detroit now I was already long an ally, but I'm trying to remember the actual steps, because I'm from your point of view, did you receive a call in where you told index won't do oppress junkie, lesser there. That call come through now. The way I remembered as this is that I first saw a tweet. You tweet it out. Ok, something about this. Is the friggin use a few curse another created a friggin funniest interview. I've ever seen. Gordon Keith is the Rock of Gibraltar or something out. Ok. Just tweeted that you had a you had at length there to the welfare of our guy right right now. I had already interviewed you an Kristen for wine in Rome. I sat down and interview both of you. Yes,
not in the neither those impressed you enough. You didn't give me your best right left your best Harold here, yeah yeah, ok, Gimme, the full will fairer treatment right. I do remember having had an interview with you in your sleep If it wasn't, the fool now isn't is weird. Yes, tweeted that out and then I like, responded and that's how we started talking, the operator right, one of the only good stories to come out of twitter of nine goods that arise through another door but anyways, and then somehow this ended up with Gordon taking up residence in our yeah. This is an odd story. You know I've never told that on the ear you haven't, I never have you felt like you would be violating our privacy well, yeah cause. You know, I'm antics, a lot of listeners may know, there's maybe some unknown, but I'm an extremely private person. Oddly enough you,
think I would be. I dont think you are but yeah and I'm not learning on this fucking stage in front of do us now. Private I mean only because I No, if you guys want to meet him can that on the air jar sure. So I never mentioned it on the air because it would seem weird and people would think I was lying. The fact that if I were you I would be like I wouldn't tell us exactly like our people. Having a main dropping is better. It's a good story, whether were us or not, right. Yeah, like you name drop, you love name around like this, so I built this though Tom Hanks Tom don't name it's not an IRA listener, profoundly That China is is to give him credit for that. I need it gonna name drama but my own, or did I better, and I don't know but you were in town with your your claim.
And here I am my- can I have my kinfolk coming in to allay we're we're gonna vacation and, oddly enough you see I was outer covering the Dallas Cowboys because they have training, camping, Oxnard, Gallaphrone, America's football team right during for America, the cowboys there, which so you had seen them I tweeted that I landed in allay or something- and you responded to me- I guess you'd texted me and said: hey, you're and allay. Oh, you have to come to our house. I think it was the next afternoon. The next They use it. You ve come to our house tomorrow, we're having a birthday our backyard birthday Party for Kristen. She wants an orgasm for her birth rate. It had been years been,
anyway, so you have become in surprise her. Yes, you didn't tell her that I was coming Nan. I was gonna, be your special gas to Europe. Birthday party. That's right flocked to wake. I now! Yes, the fact that an end Dallas, radio personality. Was these surprise, did your wife, We won't even get into how you don't understand, get giving thirteen right. So I Barred one of our cars and actually drove down there and I get to your house- and I I may we run into you first
on a girl from had no idea who you are you I just walk. I didn't like it. We don't you get the station. The Jackson might wanna be Jesus. What can I help? You yeah. You know that some of my friend of Dax words and invited me to you know to come here. You know you said: okay, well, there there in back, and so I went back and Christmas and she sees me and she freaked out and came up and jumped on me and gave me this big hug and I had the tunnel reaction that I have often times with you guys, which is today. Know who I am ready: Missus Greenow phenomenon. We really
I just love you I dont know. Why did you read the golden gate we sang here? We really do we just love. You will like what does lay in bed. Watch. Videos of you in the dove known argue about you for a while and the amount of time in areas sucking up in my our house would probably shunk you it's like p blinders, Gordon key regions having dressed up yet as you Ferber, they bore, but that's coming. I been growing my hair in preparation. So we hung out that whole day for her birthday, arguing that a super grosbeak wearing the bathing suit. I had the you guys the naked woman on the front of may now. May I make a man with farming issues in
It is time you in that bathing mating and I didn't know who it was at first because of the ban on it was like chocolate from land. The loss was jumping or like oh, his is grandpa lives. Their care of using the new issues didn't look good Geneva, let loose in the pool because its nude in for any guy your whose dont like I wouldn't, kill her out of bed for it. You would kick her the hell out of it. If you is disgusting rose real, it's too real really looks real, so so we hung out we watched game of thrones together that night, along with several your friends, and we were all hanging out there and then, as we're saying goodbye that evening. Mentioned that I had kinfolk come in town and we're going to mean experience, L it together, and you ask where you stand. I said and use that will cancel that stay at our place and once again I thought
today. They mistaken me for somebody who's worth their time. What I can tell immediately- and this is the interesting thing about you and Kristen- is that I could tell immediately that you guys were genuine that you are serious about this, offer that it wasn't just you being nice that your really kind of these open arms, very open people. What, with your friends she's taught me that I'll just right, so so I could see the European Union. We were like a frog. I hope he doesn't try to be polite. In decline, it would make so happy to know you guys were in a house swollen ally in like spread out at a hotel or all you know whatever range, and so we called up opium din and cancel our reservations, but I did debate you know. Do are taken up on this issue,
seems too weird. I that would have an hard for me to enough that's the thing. Is I got from you guys that you, truly wanted me to stay at your place. And my marital, but then, if I said no, I said no win that it would upset you. We would have been disappointed and we were to stop. It's in your video, so I felt pressured so I say and may in the can vote? We stay in your place and it was very strange experience. Sleeping The Americans die of thirst and bow. This is where you guys do all that city stuff to you. This where is she were tangier me? That's all that, but Kristen had pulled a frank and you may have even hung out of you. The poster who hung the poster Antonia Banderas above the bed? Yet? Was that all about, whether that's a whole things better say to second story, and that is that,
when I was getting to know Kristen out, nor how this came up, but I said, did you have any posters in your room is like teenage girls, you said yeah and sound. Bend errors in like a farm and knowing when I knew about criminals like this very advanced posters like I guess they like a forty year old divorce day, giddy math, Thong, poster of Tony be but not thirteen years. You like the redwings? It is never it never felt right and then, as we go, know each other longer, I think, maybe we're together for like five years. I said to her and if I asked this question, promise you'll tell me the truth and she said yeah, and I said that in turn you been Darras poster Did you want it or did like other friends habit have other postal masters in she goes yeah. I didn't even know what that poster was at any rate. I found it to be so
horrible, that she just her friends had them, he had no real desire to have them and she just grab the first two at the store which were then, I guess impulse by the end of the right. You are insecure about her having an Antonio been dearest poster, not at all it didn't. It was I've been with what I knew she was very major. She was like a late bloomer. She went to catholic School and this was like horny female truck driver where's poster is you know me like the mom and members share had a poster in her room, there would have been Antonio. When there is both myself Monica found this poster. You find it or did I found it you found. Thank you. I found your mad dame ethics, saying time you're you're, the gift of the magic,
we're pulling a very similar prank on me. Yet I was pulling on Christian, but somehow Gordo became the recipient of this prank because above the bed was this Overly centralized photo right of Antonio meant. There are no, I am having to look at is beautiful. Car more dong in that thought. So analyze like a year banana him, I think those, even maybe gucci banners is way too advanced. Even for me at forty three and then thing I want to get bogged down in the treaty be poster Imagine Tony be what are you gonna we're here in Amerika now people go, I'm Antonio Benatar solely be the magical, the postern. I think why why it's done so well commercially, the photo the boy the poster is
where you are in the bedroom. He's staring right through your out. Is that with your life? Yes, because relying there was like he's looking directly at me. She was not he's looking for me and there is a lot sides on the bells? Like my got this man this like a magic poster? Oh, I never made it up to the two eyes. I was never sure, but can I go to the very funny thing you did, which made the whole gesture worthwhile you over delivered, so he used it therefore, animal. What for five days are something we are not funny enough like you, I will reign I call their long enough to yeah I drove car around. We are more my clothes, I'm imagining right warrior closed entertainment. I couldn't get a woman to orgasm. I did a lot of it just a lot of my dax experience, but it yet I was there long enough to realise that the several things right,
with your house will do well that their where a few things in disrepair it well, and this is a bone. I have to pick with you. We ve never discuss this. A couple of things you fixed, I wanted Ok, I'll, give you an exact example. Can you which one I wanted to remain broken Emily guess our yeah yeah. That's exactly right! So We have a normal shower head, that's brazen on you very useful, and then we have this rain thing. That's off to decide now that rain thing just drips that for whatever reason the thermostat avail behind their sons, screwing drips, I hate it drip for so many years and it gets clogged with a deposit of either, Elsie on line rust.
And it was only Claude in no longer drove me nuts, because if we shower together someone someone is the rang and hands under the drippy called rusty waterspout, whether what you would think we lived. Like outhouse the way, but so finally, that things hold up knows my god it's over and then Gordo thinking do me a solid refurbished? Is this thing the holes work that way, it open when it was new right now it's just, we have again here, spend converted had wanted, was get more tortured I said it was if you made any ISIS member shower in there for more than twenty minutes, they give up all the cell locations. They guarantee. It just give me a Now what is the other thing? You fix, ok
it's a very generous thing. It's also a little arrogant to fix another man's. How Oh floors good evening, my my thought. Creators preserve a real man who actually keeps the house in some sense of repair share her, but the the thing is. I could not believe how long you let your air conditioner filters, our guy good. Unless there's this guy known, I mean I opened up the great and looked at the filter and it was darker than Satan's heart? It was
look like if you rolled up fresh saw the backs right is now again. I saw that you have done that. I was grateful. You did that that I commend you for letting you from the bottom of my heart, but but what it, what it did to me, as I thought fucking Gordon things I'm not. On top of that thing, that is sound like that's exactly what he thought it there's. No one else. Could he think it is disgusting I'm here to tell you that that fuckin thing turns that's shade of black. Every nine days, no Lincoln's thing on top of that filter. I don't. Because we live so close to that busy road. I dont have an explanation for you, Gordon. I think it was not my negligence that led to that filtering explanation as you. Let it go six months That is simply not the true. Ok is. It worry you that you live in a city that the filter,
that way. You're mine, it worries me like rain, is like these curtains. Absolutely. If you put those built those curtains in place of my filter, it would make them cleaner or whenever look like ever, you get the analogy me. Yes, I do like you, I don't like it because they don't make tv shows anywhere else what you want. Do I'm not carpenter. I can't go somewhere else imply my trade Gordon, Well, I know I know- and I I didn't judge you too harshly- you must do we think grocers if you'd seen that my tooth brush add like black growing you behind this man is a foul. And I did in my regular toothbrush tasted meant for I feel honoured to be supported by this sponsor
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that when I feel bad about, because because when I was over there for Christians Birthday Party and you had the little ones and they were playing in the water and there there was obviously concerned with water consumption going on around you know is if there is a drought, the drought, and so I knew that neither grazing about Ella, you guys were sensitive about water usage, and then here I am watching a car and then leaving pictorial the Washington color, don't you're, burying the leader rear, lead with believe something. The boy news is the best thing that Gordon did was he. He documented the entire education pictures, very rapid governance fixing you shower pictures made changing airfield. Emasculating me in every conceivable, where I left them spread of writing a cheque for my Morgan,
mending fences with family members that I don't have the courage to do. That's right. You know, I think you and your mom are going to go on an even better now apologizing to my brother, but we, got home Gordon had departed, and on the island in the kitchen was just like a hundred Polaroid photos. What was that woman in the convertible Mercedes. That's still boggles me, it's I'm afraid it's on the fridge currently Ok, that picture is one that your wife had sent to me privately again, that actually was from a photo shoot here in Dallas where they had done, article on me, and it is that the elderly who gives a shit magazine. I love that such a thing
anyway. I can only say that cause. I prefer my love for you so much those emotions. So yes for Christianity today and you are in a nazi era. Mercedes Benz is those like celery manic, the invasion of Poland as means of restoring it was a really do she photograph For me, it is actually pretty cool your wife send it to me. Trolling me. So that's the reason I put that picture. Thereupon, the fridge, because I can yet that when in among me it was the where's yeldo of the Collide Shrine Ba wearing there was some other ones you were in bed. I view you are wearing some of my clothes or something and some of the photos I didn't realize I'd taken pictures. I had no idea that I would talk to you for this long about your visit at my house, but but it is. I do think that, just name, because it was a very nice thing that you and your wife did for me and and I pray
It was a very interesting experience. I think it's interesting to regular people regular version of which I am I'm array the version regular famous person, you have risen at three thousand people know when you consider that the real thing Oh man because see the inside of your world, and this is something that I've had some experience with, but you guys really are very, very normal people and you have live in a very normal house, that's right now run down it's a great house. You guys are not ostentatious and you're, not you're, not know
you're, just not very arrogant, you're, very humble, you're, very down to earth and your very sweet people and to open your home to me. Are you guys barely know just barely in just barely? I thought, was very sweet and that I think that its never said never told that story, because I thought it may be betraying your privacy. I don't know if you wanted me to mention that I'd say that your house, but should we not err filter part than when you tell it? You brought up I feel I know I did, but that this is my thing. But when you do your thing, you can, if that out, but I think that's interesting, behind the curtain as to how you guys really live and how you really are. You really are the genuine people that you appear to be in the Zagreb, commercial. The SAM's at all of us down those refrigerators, everybody those refrigerators will not sell themselves. So Gordon, yes,
What was one about inviting you here tonight is that I don't really know anything about you, which you know like the level of love we have for each other. We really dont know each other at all. So then I went down this rapid hole of researching new today, which was fun and might my conclusion after reading your Wikipedia page in please, I beg you to be honest, like crystalline, that poster Did you write your own Wikipedia page, because there are so many funny nicknames for you New Wikipedia page I have to imagine only you could have written it. There anyway, I would have written that crap about, but I have the worst Wikipedia Pender. All I would argue of the bad. You know why I don't they Do is something different. Every pair I know I know I check it like one.
Ray two years and every time I check it, I've gotta get a handle on this. These listeners just add crap and you're. Not writing! So what are your co workers? Because can I just read you guys it's not an incredibly long, Wikipedia page to begin with, but right, but it packs a punch pound for power. This is every time they anything you do, there's a new name, so here's some of Gordon's names and as Wikipedia page Gordon Madame Richardson Tee, Gordon, the great Gordo Keith. Gordon? co Fifi. These are real. You after you watch the video go to his thing and confirm this. Gordon Creamy shoulders key
and then we were off on another site, not even on your Wikipedia page reading about some other thing in your described is Gordon ballerina whisper key, something from your show we figured. It must have been. Some think that I would have thought that all these we're gonna be my show, but on all recognise half of these you, don't you don't connected with any of these ballerina whisper milk show utter whatever that regional dairy shoulders. Oh, you know Gordon line shoulders. All lactose me, ok, We keep. No, I don't know what the good I'm only deal as this is greatly pleased and and then what, walk with me down this path, because my assumption was you ve written this thing right now,
write anything, but you can see where I would have thought that right they give. You read my Wikipedia pages Dax, big dick shepherd. Dad is now ass. All night shepherd I would have known acts multi, orgasms eubulus, not one would describe like magic, separate, thou right. Let me you something about that. Ok, do I've, just Do you have people because your representative representation of agents, now there's gonna publishers, they maintain your Wikipedia page, for you know, groom and no no, they don't know now, I'm not saying that other like ashen creatures, is it to me named by the person who gave you has no. Yours is not so Nottingham. Have anyone on the staff could go edit it tonight?
it'll be all fucked up by tomorrow morning. Yet as a certainty any change my filters book a shower had get in there and just dump all over my work every day. So because I was this do mean you'd written your Wikipedia age. I dont know if some of the Things are true on their own and, if I may put it through yeah, I want to hear this story, so it said that you have a controversy with Nestor is that true but there's this radio personality ok from Baltimore in ease goes, but that a nasty Nestor Holler Mass ass, soon, ass, the EMS
see now known ass, the master, ok and everything you like a shock jock. Why is it? Yes, he is no. We run into every year at the Superbowl in and station somehow got this adversarial relationship with them, and can you just you just glossed over that? How did it start? You can't you go like oil. I was at war with my neighbour for nine years, on your name for each other with a gardener was now. Brought me in mid controvert again, so I stated is and fix the sheriff Well then, this guy has a legitimate beef. Now he ok so probably took a wireless microphone out while we were on the air and started mess. With the American got dance, but most people forget that
for a while, and you make friends what we ve been trying to make peace with this guy for, like fifteen years, now? We want no part of it. Does no and I got so bad. I remember when this was. You may have it there. What year was when I went up and tried to bury the hatchet with them any punch me. He Actually, behind you bunch me where your person or no he granted by the neck? I think it was. I can't remember how could you not remember whether he punch you shot me or a trip me Trimurti shoot me It was the yards are probably not a true, but I didn't die for maybe he'd enshiu me, funny. How are you responded trauma Who
all creamy shoulders keys governing ball whisper. I mean ballerina was right guy. Actually he took it to the next level, engage with you physically you're, holding a microphone correct. Did you hit him within or anything now now? Now I'm a pacifist, or can I make a suggestion for a path if you're a pacifist, maybe dont confront people? You know in person right right, but when I should mention that I'm a pacifist kicks ass felt like come Vous, David clarity. Is it you want hung himself in Thailand? Well, Jerkin spoiler, learn! Oh sorry, I forgot something they may not have heard, listen, don't don't cheapen
its auto erotic asphyxiation. It is it's a lie. Very serious sexual moves, more loving than I had yesterday Some people called self care. Sometimes you get him to myself. Care people die besides table every year? Yes, so judging now, he was making himself with somewhere around his neck here. He passed away, We lost him letting myself right is over. I think carotene was a very peaceful guy who beat the shit out of a bunch of people right right I can imagine the pitch for that. Show that we're like the tv creators were like One had been asked them if Gandhi beat the fuck out of people like he was gone. Everything you love about Gandhi, but then he gives me now directed in the high gear. Occasionally, that had to be the pits further show a magic, brutally meets Gandhi. That's the show
anyways. What are we talking about? Like wishes? There was a very popular show called Kung FU, with David Carroty again prior to this than before. The death yeah, he was still grey eyes. Yeah yeah yeah, he was hanging in the clause, but- and I shall end here- very peaceful use, a very nice man he was and then at the of every episode. He would beat up about thirty five people can, but for forty eight minutes he was just the most peaceful, loving person. So anyway, this guy, fisticuffs ensues. Yes, are you just shot, but what we can do? I don't wanna drudge up to two traumatic for you no you're doing a good job of Hawaii. These struck You in there is people that watched correct What was your response to it
I dont really member I mean it was a fun radio bid. It was happening in other people were talking about party only at a guy did like others. Yes, yes, yes good, goods, radio, better tv, is hard to see someone punch somebody on the radio. I think we're on Webcam weren't. We does. They may remember everywhere, So there is some footage of this tax is somewhere you. There is footage of this right. I think either there's put it him choking me, a moderate shod punishing me or something I can't remember I've gotten into the future. One forge links but see. I think that used to be quite honest, I still am and instigator, but I am not quite, is good at it it used to be right war now in this This is now I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to veer into some more serious stuff because, as you said, you and I are kind of similar, and I really do think that I think that there's definitely two sides of you that I
we came to Know- and one is your very funny in your very quick witted and I would be paid acting, but for me that a hundred percent was forged in self defence that. That was my defence mechanism against being stupid kid in school or any number of things. I was insecure about and do you think your willingness in your sense of humor is just route. In all tourism or is rooted in self defence, It's a combination of certainly self defence. You know when you're in your adolescent time, it's your so sensitive and someone can think your world so quickly and- and I learned to make the first joke or to beyond the often that way more than that? Even it was a way to try to get girls to like me,
yeah. You know there was not anything special about me. My I had an older brother who was no good look. And athletic, and you know how basically claimed all the areas that are attractive to girls, churn so when you're a second child. I was a middle child your life, is a certain kind of counter pro. Aiming to those that came before you and he had already taken at that and those like the only thing that I had go in for me, because I wasn't good looking, you have let it go. Wasn't these other things was. I could be funny, and so I am that's what I call it was all right of iranian school, middle child and common. Then too, we just discovered backstage were both left handed, which was exciting for both of US left he's all right, we're all gonna die a few years earlier, statistically we're gonna die earlier. They say, appearance had been writing entity
You know that new side is that that is what I read her that but with injure, as you know, I think he may have been left hand and actually reeling items trying to think up member saying one airlines, but fifty eligible was on the list of left handed people, I'm actually kind of hoping he wasn't Left handed now, I do wonder how you're gonna die, because I know how and I just want to see say that I mean I have fantasy, of how I would like to die. No. I don't think I have any high probability, I'm sure my heart to explode right, but you you're guy who does risky stuff like a you like racing cars and right now and motorcycles, you like motorcycles. Is that how you would like to die is doing one of those things sure
Nobody knows you earlier in your motorcycle Tangier make my dreams come true. How did you want to die there? Would? Let me just really quickly tell you that one of the best things I've ever witnessed was there was an HBO documentary about people who had been sentenced to life in prison, and they were interviewing them and they said it this guy, who had been convicted of manufacturing like six tonnes of method amphetamine. So he had a lifeline and they said to him what what's it like to know, you're going to die in here, and he said oh brother. I dine in here now an alarm dime, our mobile, and someone's old lady he's going to come home. Chased me out of the house, I'm going to run through the yard trip on a meth wire jump over a fence gate. Bob Budweiser trunk as our work. Detailed amazing in
telling about who he is like you, The Beazley was someone else's wife get caught in run in crash into a barrel of math cooking and then ultimately does get crushed by his favorite brian- the beer. I guess I don't I've read a lot of poetry in my life and I only have their nothing's ever been that authentic imbue right in March he's like a heard that I was like: don't even try to come up with a good death, because that guy has figured it out. Again, maybe carotene headed all planned. I gotta that good men exactly what he hopes had happened Do you know how you're gonna die or do you have a sense? Yeah ok, later on, but fifty minutely made show it right now I don't, but I have worried about it more and more because you know my parents, asked away recently of death is really mother.
From my mind, as well as the eyes how how recently, two years ago- but they both die with them like eight months of each other. So, and I was taken because they lived closest to them and all that and so death can I just quickly ask how they were seventy two so don't you like how we always do that? How worthy and then you here you go Well, it gives you a little distance though, and it makes you feel a little bit of coastline is we're perverse desire to be, and uncle, do you? I don't know why you're your at my dad idea, sixty two and then my step. There died a few months ago at sixty nine, I didn't realize. Your father was that young when he died at sickly ds. So when you asked me home, your dynamite will first of all, probably in about ten years which is great news, and then it could be at every kind of medical condition you could have like when you meet with a doctor in their legs. You have a history of this. This is a change of eight or nine chat, and I draw lying straighten out like I can
be bothered with all the bar say is right we, like you might get out of here. Appointment you dead it's hard, though I mean didn't he he he he was. He know he died twenty five years sober but yeah he had a decade of cocaine use. He was a drunk for twenty years. He was very obici, a heavy smoker, you name it. He did it so I'm hoping metal lab five years to that number. At least you know when you dad passed away because from what I remember of your story is that there was only brought about three months between diagnosis and death for your dad fur. Yes, for my dad right for my step, that was three years, but yes, okay, so with your dad I think you had because your parents put up when you re younger years, older and Some issues with your dad, a bunch. Did you use that
three months I mean. Did you get some yards covered in that three month? Hang time yes, and in fact I wrote this thing about it called my father's warning us, because truthfully I heard the most amazing experience and that three months, because what was really Where is my brother was very close to my dad. Always was never resentful Adam for leaving us or not paying child support or all the myriad of things I couldn't stand about him, never bother my brother. They were best. My brother was in a position to be able to go be with him through all the treatment so and I was so weirdly or the universe conspired. I spent the last three months with him. A bit begrudgingly- and we had many things happen in that three months that I could have never predicted would have happened, one of them being I was about.
To have my first kid and I was in Michigan and I wanted to be able to show her every house I had ever lived in. We moved a ton as a kid so, and he just was stuck with me because I would he would have to be with me. So throughout this day we went to every house ever lived and I took a photograph of it. And we go to the department that we move into when we moved out of his house. He kept the nice house We move to a welfare apartment, resentment number one and we get the apartment. I take a picture of it. And they were about to leave and Ngos. Oh my god, I remember like sitting just on the other side of that traffic light for an hour and a half like iconic drive, the truck I dropped it the couch, and I was driving away as I went through that lie. I had this moment where I was like you're driving away from your whole life. It'll never be back in.
I was crying so hard. Iconium drive the truck and I pulled over right there and I was there for an hour and a half. Now seen his face. He was not telling me that to get any kind of sympathy, in a little for the four sounds like I really thought you drop that fucking couch off. It was like time the party, let's give some young girl for it's like it! Never. I really thought you didn't give a shit that you just left us and he was like. I don't know how you could have thought that so we have like that moment, and then we had along the way. A bunch of those moments die really couldn't manipulated to happen. It is magically happens. So yes, for me, was incredibly healing, do have gone through that with him, and I am so grateful that it was that exact version of knowing he's gonna die. Had it been three years
one of went that way. If it would have been a heart attack, we would have had no closer. So somehow, even though that was a terrible thing for me, selfishly was like the greatest thing that could happen to us. Did you know that you needed that healing at the time, or did you think that you had settled mode your things with your dad. I has resigned the fact that, like I dont like how he's lived his life, I almost to find myself is doing the opposite of everything. He's done. I also allowed this. I had been supporting them for five years and at the end I got to the point where he could actually right is bills anymore. So I'm like we'll just I'll pay them before I had been giving him the money he would once I got all these bills, I saw that he had been lying about. How much is insurance was lying about. How much is run is like he had been stealing and I had this moment where I would have thought that would have made me so mad. But then I am
action that I was dying in the last thing. My son discovered was that I have been robbing him in the amount of gratitude. I had that that wasn't some I had to feel or carry, and I fell back, for him that that was in. There was all this hesitation for letting me take over the bills, what they couldn't figure out, how you're going to pay your bills in the hospital bed like what me and that's what it was something he knew. I found out right at the end and I thought oh, this is life you're doing them.
Thing for you, you're, not I'm not hurt by the fact he's told an extra nine hundred bucks a month. I didn't cripple me. It was the it's. You live with your mistakes. You know, you think you will people apologies for what you ve done, a number. It's really you that goes to bed at night. Remembering should I did this, for I did that so for me, I don't know that was a very breakthrough moment, but anyways. I didn't think that whatever happened, I was resigned to the fact that I didn't need to make things all better with him, but I'm so glad I haven't, because I then had a kid, and I have since gained a perspective that She could have been perfect, I'm now a parent. I know I'm already fucking up. I also I used to be mad at him. Cuz I thought. Oh, you missed my whole life and then soon as I had the little girl, I thought. Oh he lost, He was the big loser like if I'd miss ten days
her life. That would be my law, so that helped and am glad that I didn't discover that after eight already died- and we had done no in many ways. The whole story was is for me a very good story. Under you now that you know, I think that the subject of fathers and sons will be endlessly fascinating to me, and I think that I think that masculinity has become something maybe Well, don't it's become a negative word now. You know you never hear the term masculinity without hearing toxic in front of it and things like that, and I think that learning what it means to be a good man. Learning what it means to be a man is a is very, very important
and I dont know that we're really even allowed to talk about it because it's almost like it is just a social contract or whatever, but I think there's a lot of boys out. Their who'd dont have good fathers that our role modeling, how to be a good man and and when you die and that relationship is not good or is never been repaired. I think that's a hole that never goes away, and I think it's very gracious of the universe that you actually got those three months with him that you were the person who did take care of him and then I'm running a very commendable that you did it cuz a lot of people run from someone who they feel has wrong than their whole lives, rather than come back together at that final moment that your chance to come back together and you did that in again. That's a gift of me having been sober and grim men, remembering that, like it's me,
who would have to live with having not been of service to someone who need me the punishment to him. It would be doing poison to kill my enemy like you, it would be me who, for the rest of my life, is like you got laugh, you didn't show up, you know, but how many of us drink that boiling trying to hurry somebody else, and we do that all the time we old grudges people hold just they never make peace with someone, because their determined to win a situation. The outer determined never give in and give forgiveness to someone who they feel doesn't deserve it or someone who didn't ask for it. The right way so on, but anyway, the very touching storing value- could, I just say, really quick the reason and that's the story was called my father's warning us and again. This is also a daisy storied announced house findings. They just read it now too long arms, like I kind of release that today it worked in two thousand.
Well it's like the USA today. Read it out loud somehow, not usually the morning show whatever that thing is good morning. America. The recent call my father's warning us is that Tom Hanks told me he saw it on. I only make that point to talk about how much has changed. Yet not the name drop that it was right their, although I'll, let you sure, got it ended yeah. I found a way the It was called my father's warning is this because my father, above all addictions he had eight like I've, never seen a human being like him. He would make like tons of waiting around somewhere in Europe, people you and ass. It is also becoming now and like big embeds Indiana, the council, and then cereal, like cornflakes, on top of the people was also I'm like. What are you doing? This pizza I've never seen anything like this it in towards the end
Are we really new things like? Oh, this is over because he I took a nosegay restaurant, even when he didn't have a bite of anything like ok, we'll bide, never thought I'd, see this, and then we had the last few days in hospital. He stopped talking completely use no longer talking just sitting in a bed and a nurse bent over to like a just something on him, and I just heard David She slapped him. Did he just say something to you and she's, like he's just being a pervert, and I'm like this guy has lost the will to in live any dry negligent way. Nothing would have work that our. I saw them. Wonder were help was like, I could have been showing a fund which Sunday was mildly, were spit it out, but he will use these last words. Why
www arouse a nurse I mean. Is that Elene right, my father's warning anyways. Ok, I felt a little bit and we are not explain why the title title that right. Yes, did I tell you was read out loud on good morning: America, you mention it by Tom Hanks. Do you feel like you got that I think that I gotta you know my dad and I spent a lot of time together because it is my died. We had eight months. Where was just me and my dad before was the three of us. You know going to appointments chemo and those things that have to do so. My dad, I had that eight months with each other, and we took one gosh Erika fangs
and went to go visit carotene final, friends magnetism wages, the huge Irving, get sweeter? No, The last thing he did was watched good morning, American together they were rate in Europe. Which was ruined by sexual harassment. My father know it. One last trip to his boyhood homes and then, where he grew up in and all that there was a great road trip. It was you know, just a couple months before he died and all that time in the car in talking to similar to you in your dad, visiting old houses in and it just gave us so many greater
Asians and he and I had always been able to talk well with each other you didn't have like now there were, there were still. There are some things that detention points that we had had. You know he was. He was much too strict when he was a preacher right. It was a preacher bright and you're, not a man of the cloth per se. Are you now clearly gonna different right but and in his defence, the army. He was never like the footloose dad preach You know I was never like that guy right, they never pressure this than I you know when I stopped probably going to church when I was an eighth ninth grade he and I met my mom saying: will you you have to go to church in a world where the preachers family? You know that just looks or what are my dad saying. You know Sondra, which was very sorry. This is his journey he figured it out on his own. You know we don't need the pressure that is so camellia boys is.
He's already go. Where I am bearers theme is like a year, the police chief in your kids, the town centres right yeah, you, like your kid, was the answer: Europe Working hours, your kids in church, helping anyone else, get their kids and derive exactly moms point. You know by my dad was there was not a bible but in our household at all you know it was a very smart man and he was, I think, a he felt, a genuine calling, to do that, whether that kept going his whole the whole time he was a pastor. I don't know. I think that I personally think that he got disillusion with it at some point. That's why he left. It is because he, when you get that high up in in insured.
Is that, where their big churches, manure c o of a company- and it gets very far removed from the way it was when it was just you and your wife Preachin some small town waitin on your first kid to be born right now. It was just a world two way from that the EP, but but he and I always, got along. We also would but heads regular when I was younger, because I think I think I get the worst end of the the belt you know because he would he would punish us with a belt and we were earlier, but I was the most wilful and that in so I'm sure I have some scars from yeah well what's so funny is the reason I brought up your sense of humor is because that's that's how it came to know you and then I started eating your writing in your Writing is very sincere. Foresaw you're, a great writer was re reading some stuff
you're, an incredible writer and you're, very, very sincere in your writing and though you are a private person, you're, also quite revealing in what you're writing Think and I'm wondering if you were drawn to writing for the same reason. I wasn't, I think, there's a overlap with being drawn to drinking is well like for me. I was a very funny than you, quick, quick to make fun of myself before you could also just take control of their because I was incredibly sensitive. Underneath When I started writing, it was a place where I could be so fucking sensitive cuz, the worst case scenario. I just would not let anyone read this thing or I would let my mom read stuff. I wrote, but I was really drawn to writing immediately because it was a place. I could be fearlessly sensitive in open,
and then weirdly when ice. First drank it gave me the confidence to be sensitive human being. I want to be with my friends or with people I loved in some both those things I was so strong, we drawn to, were, I believe, a response of wanting to let out this kind of sensitive side of my I wouldn't have drinker where you like. What how would you get when you were drinking? I think. I'm stupid people that would disagree with me people I fought at bars and stuff, but I think I was a bit a joyous drinker. I also didn't throw whelp like I could maintain a nice on the verge of black out drunk for fourteen hours. Three, when I got into drugs it turned a corner, but there was a good healthy, eight years, the drinking where I was fun to be around so it may be.
More gregarious in friendly in an open like I would talk about things I now talk about on here at forty three. I would share about feeling stupid. I would be willing to tell my friend I loved him, like all these things It just made me optimistic that this would turn out right. If I exposed myself to you, so why was drinking problem for you. I mean if those things it sounds like drinking made you better in that sense yeah. How did it turn for you well and is what is commonly said in twelve step programmes? Is it stops working? So this thing it's doing. For me this is treating a condition of mine and then that stops working and then also when everyone went to bed I just kept going and then I had all these different rules like oval I'll go to people drink in the morning but under in the morning, but I do drink on Sunday morning, some so far
hungover. I won't be able to proceed through my day without having some booze Sunday morning and then sometimes I turned it in then. You know all the sudden I also romanticize Bukowski. So much my heroes were drunks. I thought that it was a very romantic lifestyle and then, when I was fully in the true sense of like oh, I can't quit for real for real, like I'm not. I can't quit this that that was a very oh, my god feeling I can't and because I felt comfortable being drunk. I didn't everything I learn to do as an adult I did drunk. I had never been on a vacation. Were I swear? in the cases of sober I'm like what do you do am I going to walk through the town or like sit by the pool want other people. Drink Marguerite is the way we vacation. Is you throw, bags in the room. Let's grab a cocktail will meet Joe Jos gotta cabana. Now he knows thieves, thieves, gonna, powerful MIKE's got Coke two miles and like the vacant
took care of itself, like I put my eggs downright to pick him up and leave seven days later. I didn't, but that's what it becomes. When you look a lot was live lives. Its life is what you, while you're drinking I mean it's just every You do if you're depressed you drink. If you're happy you drink if you're always- and you said in your other, your article- I read is like you get a job, you get promoted you drink, you don't get the promotion. Whilst we do need a drink and there's something wrong with when the prescription for life is drink, you have a drink and so bought. That message to, I had some of the same literary he rose, and I just thought that that's what the creative life was was drinking to access and these and you make hero tales drink too much and in those or funny tales are you in its swashbuckling, yes swashbuckling way of living. I was in search of glory and then
started realizing that I was drinking more and more just to be by myself see. I was not the gregarious drunk I mean I wear would have fallen and we have great debates on the bar table in everything like that. But at some point I just would go quiet and get kind of silent and depressed, and just slowly nursing the beer and and I would find myself doing that because I worked so early, I would have wine with my lunch and I could polish off a bottle of wine and, like this are right. Yeah they considered red flag and but, unlike you, the whole never unleashed my superpowers it. Never made me more open. It never made me funnier, it never may be quicker it dulled every one of my superabundant. What do you think the appeal was? Why did it feel right like what you remember
first time you got drunk the neediest like oh yeah, the right now I was designed to feel exactly there's that line and that column you reference, no change that we were all born to beer, shy of happiness and and there's love you who may identify with this. You know there's that perfect part of your drinking night, where you have just the right amount of alcohol that you feel good and then at some point you'll have a couple more drinks and then it turns on emu start feeling more sloppy and drunk, or you start feeling the the vampire to keep feeding get even when you're not don't really want to drink more, but your horny, but your flash right here and
in problem drinkers. The problem is that sweet spot starts getting smaller and smaller to tie trade. The exact amount about Paul. You need to feel good, but not feel like too much too, where you're saying stupid things to people in Europe. I can't believe I I told her that actually do that in a closet where the noose around my neck. I am waiting to things you want and then one that point that happiness point this vanishes did nothing. You can't ever get their right. You can't get the amount of the drug in you just right where you'll feel happy I can't get that to beer happiness and may drinking was always trying to get back to that wonderful garden of Eden, feeling every two meal optimism, but I'm just a neatly, pessimistic and like to drinks with the windows down above Seeger and I like that, feels that that's what all of like I'm gonna win the lottery. Events like I've waited
times hit that power wall. We're not sure that's around the corner. I would feel that way. Now this lovely, so I'm admit something that I shouldn't here. Ok growing, was staying at your house in snooping around there. Few things and I found there were interesting than another dimension in marine Christians, underwear doorbell, but now on your books, because your book It's very interesting to me also because I look at our home libraries for lack of butter term and we have so many the same. Our railways that we read in our interest to Emma Jerk wife is thrown out half my books because they were literally yeah. They weren't aesthetically pleasing. yet through I'm almost all add you're sleeping with her. So one
is that the I picked up your copy of the big book cuz, I want to read out of it haha, so I see it there in the big book for those who are not rose. I should have said at the beginning of this. I am very programme but we got a nice Bosnians night were good times. I would love to have it so I'm very pro but, as I think of the big, but I think that the big book I didn't think about this- I should clarify them ok with all of you drinking tea. I just for me, it's not so good. So I picked up your copy, the big book, which is the appalling synonymous book of wisdom for lack of better and inside it. You had a date written now and then and then his line through it is another date. Britain. There was a line through another day line through it and this one on public aid.
Dates or something like that, and even there were a couple of comments beside him and said. You know why my such an effing loser some thing that Have you read it myself, but it was a really moving more because it was, it was early in the morning. No one else was up in the house and I can vote for staying with me by myself and I was opening this book and I was seeing this little intimate piece of your life, which touched me so deeply. You know that then here's a pursuit tries again and help Orton. That is, you know, because life defeats all of us, no matter how it's a beating, how great your career is now and in the EU have been all our come through. You might end you live it up but it was Really. It was really sweet to see then and was really moving to me to see how you kept trying again and he kept try again and you kept putting those.
It's in there and you didn't throw out looking get a new and they didn't have these memories of failures. You one of those failures right there to show you and you scratch them out and then there's the day. That's not scratch that yeah! are we going to have a report each year? And now I'm so glad you gotta know where they are really the moment for me. Do if I was moving through your books verily, I too have been encouraged. What's really values before we even you, we would talk about books, one one of the few things around a piece of paper with the region, barleycorn, the old book. Jack London's John borrowing on IRAN is pretty Fascinatingest Jack. London, you know, call the wild all these great books, one of the last books he wrote, was basically just admitting. He had become for realising hollowed out, all tat is described.
Why it was appealing. I relate with so much because it is hard for men to bond we're we're not great at it. Like you watch little kids play right like boys look away from each other girls stare at each other. There's some about are poisonous testosterone. That makes very hard for us to bond in to be open and vulnerable, and all these things in somehow a saloon in booze facilitates this community among men, and that is the thing that I really loved about. It was so appealing and then, of course, if you have the thing we have it takes you and isolation, ironic right, that's where it ends, but anyways out. That's a good book and you should read it,
This is one last thing I want to talk to you about before you go because I think you and I share similar fear and I think, we're probably on the wrong side history. But what's to see, if we can't let our careers on fire and talk about in anyone's you, have this really sweet Arthur about fathers day so beautiful I was reading it to Monica and I got a little welled up at the end. But can you tell us you you witness something that Michael Irving, I can see his name. Is urban urban not Irvine, not vine and not Irving. Now, guy, what first tell us, what did he
trouble for. I didn't really know what you are leading to ok, so, Michael Urban, you know he was one of the big stars in the cowboys in the nineties and they won Superbowl together. Everything but Michael was a real partner back in those days, and there was a huge controversy in which he got busted buying cocaine. Then he was on trial for em in he was in a lot of trouble and he was a real bad boy at one time. It's kind of hard to remember now, because he's so loved in Dallas, now because he's so very personal, but at the time you know there were a lot of you hated Michael Urban. He was tarnishing the star, he would wooden stay out of trouble and so on and so on. We were at a distance after career and we were doing a charity football game with him
and he was we're on the same team that we were in the locker room together and Michael. This is before his image was completely rehabilitated. There were still some people who didn't like him, haters going to hate haters going to hate and he had his little boy in there in the locker room with Amoozed about six years old and just Michael interact with his kid and seeing how much just fused of love that Michael had turned towards this little boy. Who would become an up to him and Michael grab some by the chance you and he looks at right in the face. Knee guests has come here, Gimme, guess and kissed him right on the list the young boys doing. You know why and everything and my cause, I don't care, I don't carry view Always tissue lives is lips you're, my boy, and I cannot, and I love you
how much I love you more than anything else in the world. He said when you better get used to it is when I drop you the college on one kiss you right on the lives, and I just couldn't hate Michael for anybody, because you see that he I mean, I think Michael, is a guy who loves his children and loves cocaine, yeah so. This has huge love in his heart down. It's right now you need the guy's, loving man mobs cocaine. What is what I like about that story is. I fear that we have entered a new phase a little bit where and I think it's a little bit out of laziness. I actually want to ask you what you think it is because of now people we ve got a lot of different labels. We can give different people and that once they have that label,
that's it there's no humanity to them. There are no facets than they are one thing there: a villain, their excommunicated from our society and its hard for us to accept that you can at one point b a monster and then two hours later be saying in a beauty. Person that's hard for us to juggle against white. Why is it so hard for us to recognise that people are this big? thing in that there is some really ugly parts and there's some beautiful parts, and why is that? We want this pioneers opposition. Why are we in such a hurry to label someone good or evil is a little lazy and isn't it not complicated enough, and do you care about that? I very much care about it. That's one of the few
That infuriates me the most about today's world? Is that our ability to look at the immense amount of gray in people's lives and in to see us this complex organisms that do some things well and do some things bad? That there's been something that has occurred in culture and it probably has to do with with The very fact that their such certitude online and their such we don't like the discomfort of nuance. It just has just and now that we live in a world in which we are so wealthy and so technologically advanced that we have all but eliminated comfort from our lives, yeah yeah. We I mean enough
two generations ago. You know you. Your whole life was discomfort yet also move and now we're just those soft warm days a year. We we like we like, but people have to be villains or There are good guys and the amount of the hero making met we do to some people. You know you can't tell me that beyond say has never been a bit Jeez Andrew. At some point, you look like shit the five and then you know like Matt Damon came out and said you know that there's A variety of radiation is great gradation or if you want to mispronouncing, go with what you said a third do me. A favor say the word extracurricular. Never
Even try. I'd sooner dry, to spell it out, which I would also not me, I'm one of you know, maybe after the show we should get some Vietnamese you'll have a good way of chinese food here and there, but we take I'm wondering do you think it is? I was really try, not breeding that thing and and knowing that, if I weren't situation, I would have not been able to
the exact same reaction to you, which is, I would never force myself to deny this thing. I saw because of something else. They know about the person and do you think it's, because we have a fear that if we were to have compassion that we Clinton then also execute justice, because I think we should accept EU justice. I dont think a lot of these people should be in any kind of opposition to be above people, but I dont know why we can also do that with compassion. I almost feel that people feel like the both can't be done at the same time right, whereas the key to a healthy life and a healthy culture is to find the proper balance between justice and mercy, and we fail miserably over again with are over the broad sense of our thirst for justice. To where we have to have some would be completely ban. We won't let criminals be rehabilitated the out either
out of prison, they pay their debts society, but I'm gonna Hiram. You know that guy did this and everything in that guy has what kind of society can he reintegrate into? Will your hand so now create a person whose young to be here living on the margins of doing bad things, the others zero interest in fixing the broken problem right sole interest in punishment now we culturally have an issue where Buber time, let them Damon thing? You know Matt Damon, so that their gradations to human behavior radiations, but Matt when's the Mummy Known- and you know he took in the short for that needed is apology is great and it s like. Wasn't he just stating kind of a fact? Yes, but I think what we are is we're so scared of slippery slopes that we will find them anywhere. You know just by even acknowledging that,
One thing is different than another thing, then that is a little now. I only what we lose the cudgel that we have to beat everybody over the head with. You know the right you're just that wrong behaviour is wrong behaviour and there's no stop equivocating in all that. Yes, yes, it's not belittling one area of trauma by acknowledging being killed is worse than being punch. Rioting. You ask Baltimore journalists, a question you know, but different roughing by if I, but I can win with the little verbal rhetorical slammed dunk, which all violence is horrible, Ryan in the killing worse than they than the staffing everything. Ok, you just keep justifying people would say and others I mean, do you have any rights as you can? a conversation about, but if someone is trying to constantly win an argument, as opposed to having a discussion here, is taking to walk away from that person at some point,
problem. Is I'm not good what walk away from home and then I get choked by Baltimore it's going to think they have on your Wikipedia page, while it shouldn't be on their what's really funny literally it will be the last long and try to use within ninety seven seconds dovetails weirdly into another thing. I read on your Wikipedia page that I just I don't know if it's hogwash or not, are you truly obsessed with Lee Harvey Oswald. Lot of answer: Lee Harvey Oswald amateur. None here now Let me explain
get thrown on me all the time you talk about new on you're gonna have to appreciate a lotta nuance here, because I'm the guy who's out their claiming rifle. It Lee Harvey Oswald, acted alone. So I'm wanting to pin the murder of unity on him and I get accused of being a It is, for that makes sense, yeah. So I'll Kennedy assassination path, but we do have lots of fun with this on the air, and so I appreciate the humour in it only Harvey Oswald Bathtub, apart from that I'd love to bathe in its night at the end of his show it can I really comfortable I swing by really comfortable yeah sure, to be honest, I'm shot he owned a bathtub. I pictured like renting boarding rooms he did in this was in an apartment that he had rented August. We taken a bath in it right can write by more
yes and so had Marina was hot, in her day. So these stories are so long and when they come out of my mouth, I realize air bunnies arrangement personally area, but can I just say of the woods one is there. Overlap about what we just talked about in leave her, so you do believe he did you can't. You are absolutely I do too in them because of their in addition Carlton's, our history. Can we were heard a tramp? It's fantastic. I mean it's such a commitment. You have to be unemployed. Then do it. I wish I were eleven hours a year like what's funny you go eleven hours on pressure, and then you go all right I'll do in the normal way, part one
thirteen out like it's, it's so intimidating anyways. You say that, with the knowledge that our podcast is about three hours I do I do which is, a brisk little podcast comparative hardcore history, but you, but he was talking about the fact that we think that we live in an age of terrorism and he says, will really the age of terrorism started with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand for in World war, one of which started worldwide. And then he kind of you know built that every single war we ve had sense is really started with the assassination of him right. I'm not gonna bore you with the details of that. Both the most interesting thing he said in an episode. Is that the reason conspiracy theories appeal to people is that is. It is far scarier for us to think that some dipshit Lee Harvey Oswald J decided.
If some loser, who bathed in one tab once in some other guy, bought it up those, though, like that, could up and decide to change the course of human history that that is so scary to us that it is more comforting to think. Well, there must have been this complex apparatus that maiden all that happened for some reason I feel safer thinking. There is some crazy CIA can spirit. Your cat, you know that's more comforting than just any one of us could all of a sudden turn. Bozo in fuck up history that we can accept that. But yet We know that to be the case. We know that one person with a bad intention do tremendous.
Yeah and for some reason, when it comes to that assassination, we just short circuit and think what no way it had to be huge and had to be on this now it had, it could be one guy with a rifle rifles can shoot people from that distance very easily and he did that need had a blueprint. Throughout his life. He was that guy and he s, behaviour showed you that before and but yeah it is that we try to over complicate things is very strange areas. Is the antithesis of what we're talking about before these two things: parallel. Nature they go side by side, which is that if we try to allowing us to think someone's straight evil right, that's easier for us, we we make simple things way too complex make complex. Things went to simplify, whereas this is the wisdom
the Buddha once again, wisdom always lies and enlightenment always lies in the middle way. You know that guy in particular Buddha it seems word, I'm kind of that guy, the sheriff what are you doing? Isoude world idler India the study of Buddhism, I mean I just keep coming back to. How does this due to get so many things right about the human experience way back then they are still. If you look at it still holds true today about being in the moment about the middle way, all those things that we just try to resist for so long
I'm you think about this wisdom and salvation, is at our fingertips. We could avail ourselves of this, but instead we'd rather by a pill, take a course go to a class to get some sense of peace in our life. Thinking that these things are going to create peace, when we could actually tap into the peace that inside all of us, we have just doesn't feel right cause. I think most of us think well, who am I their salvation can't lie within me? I know: broken individual than I hate myself. At the same time, idea find myself the up another worthy of that, and we know the answer that outside of ourselves. So what we talked about you realize you my rain forests. It am I right right I do not have the same way. You messed up my shower known. Ok! Now I treaty Harvey's tub a lot better than I think, you're a dramatic appliances, you where you are when you bay than it correctly at the rag work
Gordon can I say one other thing he's do cream shoulders. I the by the way I've listened to it and what doing on that gas is exactly what I want, more of which is your great communicate. You speak very well and you are very non judgment on you, listen to people's answers and in that- and I think it's great what I want to thank you for inviting me on this. This is fine as a kind of a lark idea that we would do something like this of always wanted to do something like this. Never gotten up my ass and made it happened. It took you stepping in to make it happen and do this
this show, which every I can't believe how much energy you guys had after my is unbelievable mine line, cherries like ferries and now my favorite part of the show, the back check with my soul, made Monica Batman Man occurs eyes. There Jeanne you make Joe. You back to my man goes eyes why Jane you, man, the large in new energy new watching you? We don't really get facts in there. Maybe
your fat, yeah, ok, great bows grey old man, be. I knew that I love when you know me to it. So rare most often you don't know what are the real failure and bozo it's not a lack on your part. It's my body as my own issue. I I had. I can't do that. On the radio bigger by saying in a little better than ring a bell free now, even if I then something on the radio. It takes two and a half minutes before I can recognize the saw we'll just doing me just say a ring ring. The bell made me think of jack, my eggs jerk backs backs then that I do Ghana than one you can ring a bell. Oh you remember a few facts ago. I wanted to point out to do things on
my only remembered the one, which is don't say, hateful things aren't Grandpapa here is the other one. It's been drive me nuts, I'm a meaning to say this for a while. I talk so often on here about people achieving their dreams. And had not living up to their expectations, and I just really want to be clear that I want that no way to be misconstrued that I dont think people said chase their dreams berry. Indeed, people chasing their dreams. I'm just trying to make the point that chasing the dream is the form part in its. Why you do it in and of itself and that the the resolves the destination probably aren't gonna, be the feeling expecting. So it is no wonder you want to think that make. My overall point is like, oh great, so you in is your dream. You got an iota. Everyone does what you doin bow wow. That's not what I'm saying anything as what I come a grown up. I dont think that comes across at ah, I also thank you know its relative to what your dream is.
If your dream is to run a charity, and need do that a very met. A very well might feel exactly like. You hope it will feel like we don't know the dream, no norms, started. There are sound they're saying, but you are specifically referring to your dream and my dream:
I think it applies the Muslims. I think, there's a lot of people like I wanna make partner at this law firm. That alone, I make partner this law firm. Everything soon be awesome, and then it's not all some right. So at some point in that becoming partner that the route to becoming partner that you find pleasure in joint maddening esteem yeah, but the hard work and stop the result. Ultimately I'd, I think, generally seem to be empty. I don't think the accolade is what gives you self esteem? I think hard work. Yet selflessness is bowser, rewarding sure, yeah, railways, Edison wanting wonder misconstrue near very Proteus, your dream of my kids chase there during my dad is not prejudice. Dream he's now now is pretty content. I know when I talk
joke. I thought this guy's pretty content. He is, he thinks I'm people should aim for mediocrity, ah well, they're, probably happier if the aim for me I ve got a little above it. I think he he puts up very high emphasis on security I'm feeling here a home for him. That's what's most important and you don't get that often when you're, when you're aiming author CS. Exactly do we tell the funny Job brother made in the sand dunes about your dad's name, a shock, share, I barely remember Ngos. That's his name. That's gonna shoot you That's not a joke, yeah really good. Besides their God. Now I don't like it. Asthma, o roon, know a lot of brothers. Jobs are just wordplay sure that almost ninety percent of his jokes rain, Hansen's jokes, are are just
any word- play yeah and it was really quick. Fun. Wordplay a joke sounds like a joke budget where it does not show air so it is a good. It was really a good one for him. It was then we get another racial underpinnings and it gets a little scary. You, then, is it your does: making fun of a new name, that's different, but that's not what brother was do now and now he is doing his heart is pure gold or has not he is doing, but sensitive to that as it may, we look alike, No one here loves you dead more than ninety start. Well, that's not true. I sure like on we weren't lockstep political, to the point you know its funding. Is your father made this point that he loved Bill MAR he's always loved Bill MAR Cinema and he he's out on bail MAR because Bromar said
He's praying for a recession have hoped that winning I like that, and you know it's funny- is love it. When Delmore setbacks and, like you know you're always we were gonna, sell pursuing a new right, you know what I didn't like it either, but I didn't feel is vehement about it. Until I spoke of your father and then he brought it up again on a recent up. So in this time, when I've been prime by a shock was like yet so distasteful he got through to me now. I think it's a terrible thing he's saying and another see to say if we had a recession? We'd have a change and political power as surveys in Yemen, but to see your wishing for or you pray the economy, a tank is, is very selfish. Two euro give it a go point of our fish. Tell the p
of our working hard and early survive exactly ass, who are also on his side like it affects everybody. I dont, like with bill, said either, but I see his like John ro point that some times which my dad the heat he is like you held just say the opposite point of what I'm saying it just yesterday on the supply and then he'll argue that and then sometimes I don't even know if he believes in when he doesn't believe, but he's a little bit of a contrary and when it comes you're, saying Devils advocates Bay. He has said before, and I agree that something sort of exactly some order. This Dahmer thing, which is like if the people who are a vote, for that job feel any of the repercussions of it. Then there not gonna,
there's not going to be any change so anyway. I just get the point that, like you, have to feel ass if to feel the reality of the situation so, but but damn it. I do not like comment. Ok, gourd, Gordo favouring yeah Gordon was so great, but when you listen back It didn't live up to our experience on staying out his great oh good, yeah. I just love the different levels of he's so funny, I mean he has now number like. No one else, there are certain people right. You have your number harrowing. We, of course, is got number one number, but Gordon really has it for me. I can't keep a straight face around him. Yeah don't hit me with the emotions
I know the full package. I agree yeah his special will. You tell him up press junkets because I tell you first met Gordon, and you said that oppress, shrunken is six men interviews for ten hours to a couple hundred interviews a day, new, broad crumbs. Where's, that's not possible hundred. It would be a hundred interview. You could do ten an hour. It was. It was actually very quick, easy math for me to do and it would be a hundred interviews and My there's a lunch break. You have been a part of these things and does not, as I ten hours straight in his brain, I met many lives. Saved. Do it when he even more than sixty start feeling insanely, I'm sure you're, saying the same thing over and over and over again here that sounds terrible and then like people, you know I get. It makes sense when people get in trouble during these things.
They are a yell at people. Are they lose their mine, worn down and then you're tired known when their tired starts? Making great is the exact and then a lot of these people to they have and what actually six months there is often, these are scheduled for three minutes. Like people have three out of the romanian and this personal sit down. They'll ask you some hot button topic question that you couldn't possibly thoughtfully addressed in three minutes or minor league eating out there is such a low blow. You asked me about the state of the welfare system. Any two and a half minutes love- and you want me to you right now- or whatever popular, whose item of some on going down with me to you want me to give some thought full answer about that and in two minutes yeah hard, downy, downy who's, the greatest rubber down and he famously had kind of our. He put someone in this place, which is the guy wonder what Gideon do his incarceration for drug abuse
it wasn't a two minute intermediaries is like come into really, you know any kind of said. Nor might this is preposterous, I'm not on a segment of sixty minutes where we could spend two days talking about those yeah, and I could give you a real thing. You just want to fucking, soundbites. You click bake for your right thing and guess what he got it. You gotta, that's them. A double whammy: yeah they win when you do the ideal for retired. Ok, Gordon has never had sex with Kristen I just while that I know that we know what I know a lot about her. We don't know you're right, I be so happy for both of them, the woman, I was choosing a guy tat fibres guys I was gonna quickly have sex with, as a woman he'd be, might quickly why quickly on morn dog get right out, Now I must do anymore. You're me, a woman for like a finite while you're gonna make me a woman for the weekend I gotta go on. I wouldn't be surprised at all. If Gordon Muslims and Christians top five he'd be nice addition to her
for her oh yeah pass, so I dont think that they have. I feel they I feel really coming from history. They couldn't, even if they have the intention to liquid jestingly. Also worth speaking for now, Gordon is happily married. And the losing Goosey Hollywood morals. That we have so you know certainly of Gordon, want it now christen what translator wiser than I have here. So our nose with I totally dysentery I don't know- I don't think they have, but I don't know and wants to see this. If they have I didn't even know, and our relationships been going just fine yeah. So if you look at this from a pragmatic point of view, if it happened, I guess it did matters. I certainly didn't know when she still lovely bride to me. Ok, you said Ashton and rob Coronary were and Citizen Kane, and they want
now I must have been, I guess, you're joking, but sometimes it's hard to tell of I'd like seeking of your bride, whose always telling jokes it. I never know she's telling. Jokes did have an actress, that's right now the sum we bring wrestling with at the house. She gets upset yeah. Let no one is a very dry, delivered furs and see if it's not you, it's not dry oh it's, so the way No, it's! It's so believe a paw report things on twenty three me is whether or not you have a dry or wet since, unlike England had the highest rate of dry, since it means that's really funny eyes, she's a good actress, the best one I bury bass, tightening, ok, you said in the Antonio Bandanas poster that he's wearing a good she banned on his underpants. Maybe he's not! You can't even see as underpants.
These were like blackened chance. Yeah ablaze are opened up and I like a flash about, but we then we did just find the pitcher. I was thinking of there's a picture, Herman Swimwear, he seems to be in like sand terrain agrees somewhere rewrite either he is spread Eagle. You see a banana, those white. You know you'd gone speeders for lack of their appropriate word, whatever that Comana hammock than it has to be here, he's where no white banana having an inveterate doesn't it was a gucci and it says Hollywood annoying spam does ironic as a and I do believe you, since entering whitewashed backlash. Mercedes perched up. For the moment for horribly on a sound stage, a paramount or something. What we do know is used spread. Fucking Eagle, that's banana is on full. This way yeah, but I wonder if, like when you're taking now again, I've never been in a photo shoot, whereas as to where banana hammer, yeah yeah Amber
some older now, but I wonder if, when I was younger, if I was asked to do that, I would certainly want to get myself semi erect and I would feel obligated to gave me around. That's not why, because you want that, you want to fill out that banana hammock, it's not a banana Hammett give inside is a toothpick. The banana for banana hammock too, were it's. Ok, it's a toothpick. Of course it is not what I'm here for everyone. It is for me. It's not I wouldn't want a nice right banana contain a plantation regularly potato, even better, we wider Yanks, we really good chuck lobby, while beneath easily snickering torment were their last thing. We are really Billy dealt with today. I mean to be fair. There were no facts during Gordon's anymore, and I think there might have been, and maybe I missed in I've heaven I'm. I feel shame about that occur. We are still of impasse that person, whether you,
ever rattle off another fact again will now that's not true at all. That's my job as well, because my job so I have to anyway. I just last thing Gordon tells the story about looking through your big, but which is such a touching sweet story near your member. I do on my grandma motion or does year it's really sweet like water, we're like what's sweet about it and what makes me emotional is. I would never, in a million years think that someone would end up opening that book up. It's not something, I would think is sweet or nice about me. There's nothing like if something so weirdly intimate discovered about you, that you would never even consider yeah and then to see the impact of had on him, as is all very emotional, yeah yeah and found the sand paddy. Thank you very, very paddy.
Yeah, there's a lot of dates network, the open it up now, but I, after I heard that I really demands no meaning turn. I would rather, you did a good job, your job, I love you is that okay still love you more than you know, even whether you unveil a hundred facts or one fact, my love for you is the exact same just so. You know nice
Transcript generated on 2019-12-12.