« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Pete Holmes

2019-03-04 | 🔗

Pete Holmes (Crashing, The Pete Holmes Show, You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes podcast) is an American comedian, actor, writer and podcaster. Pete sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss his three-way marriage with comedy, the book that got him sober and how his life resembles the biblical story of Jacob and Esau. Pete decides Dax’s mom would be played by Francis McDormand and Dax predicts fatherhood will rightsize Pete’s problems. Dax and Pete talk about the different tactics men use to appear attractive to women, how modesty is an equally alpha move to being ostentatious and the two have different takes on the fatherly nature of Bob Vila.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Everybody welcomed arm. Chair expert. I am Ugh brightness joined by Patty Pemberton. I Paddy was that my name, I don't know why do not forget the name, I guess today's name is PETE Homes and after interviewing him, I checked out his show crashing and I love it. Nay, you watch on the plane. That's right, a genuinely loved it so well done yeah in, and he also has a great podcast that I've been on. You made it we're you made it weird with PETE Homes is also stand up, comedian whose very popular I regard and he has a new book coming out, comedy sex God. It's available the pre order now on Amazon and on sale may Fourteenth give it a read. Do you have a chuckle? You might even get sexually arouse. That's hopefully what will happen. Monica buckle up for Peter
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tell me like I'm the guy they get mad. If something is great and it changed your life Why aren't you tell me why you keep it to yourself where some people might be like? Don't truly Rome like we're all stuck in a very confusing I don't know it's like, so you don't even fruit in the morning to heavy. How does your face the guy? I'm like didn't, think I'll go krispies sleep, the math glass, like I'm, going back to high school. I need our own some, they are old women. High school, visible hype. I believe, where are the way. I see it the right it's the way they say If there is anyone, really you don't think the fucker you do with those cocoa krispies you want, but I'm an older brother and that's how he corrected me. Wasn't it wasn't it super mean about a year, he might tease me out of things. I get the community.
You shouldn't Finnegan, I was wearing my. I remember the palm tree, there's like ownership, on the federalists. I only around with. I have bad and are so proud of it, because I thought it was like the real. I know you think the real comedian phone it was like the real made it phone free. I found it was like. If you had a tree, I wouldn't you say, like I have three hundred dollars because I thought it was which was at times are another all a thousand dollars and were used to it. But three hundred some for a phone was crazy, but it was also like woody up to that, you need constant email x, ray. I wanted it, so I saw the comedians had one so I finally got when I was proud of its clipped. It's my style, oh Jesus, because I wanted it. I wonder why I really I went out. I got like the clear case. Could they didn't want? I did it with the tree. You didn't go Langdale style and have a gold chain. Can I e g s and they ll style, no gas, but then I the first time I wore it. I went
I was on the road with Christian. It was the best we ve ever live toward. I went downstairs. I had a cat, like a dad at the eclipse in my belt and he just went belt, clip huh and I just took it off and I didn't go what an asshole I was like. Oh right, I just had a blind spot I was just on your podcast last week. Yes and your wife, Valerie Valley, you're beautiful, wisely about the bare life she made this option patient. Could she listens to arm chair so she's hip to what's happening with me? Psychologically t made this observation that peat now or basically two sides of a single
like we have a lot of the same shared history of these different issues we wrestle with, but but we have the polar opposite reactions when he always when he told me he loves people telling him what to do. I would like all right there that were one pet p had so, in any case you I mean, maybe you know better. It's like you seem like likely talk about nicotine right and it contains interesting for, like writing getting your brain going or whatever. How did you know that this figure it out on your own. I really doubt your irish exercise makes you feel so good. Like you just reader reading I'm not reading, I'm having things read too in the wild and I'm ok.
You just want to forge a on your own will. You would have been like yes, it's it's! How history had been passed on to us. You like that the or oral story I like an origin or, as the angels a little better thought about how many in the wrong. Then it is my own room to experiment and even in anyway, he remained wrongness in all the innovations of its wrongness, there's still truly pillar of truly that's a real testament to the Weiler. True, we talked about how I loved what you said about the american government, and the two party system is to mimic this, I'm paraphrasing you, the turmoil of the human psyche, and then I was like it's interesting. How all these things that our success, often mimic the unsuccessful nest of the human condition tabular vote given giving that's it. That's what I'm saying what the imperfect of oral advice. I might get something that's wrong, but then, like I that's part of it is built in
The good thing we as and I still have a relationship with it as opposed to being this handed. The answer will now, in the event that people don't seek out your podcast, listen, you're, pretty, this conversation. That's just do it again: let's hey: let's do whatever you say, but before we do it again, it's hell, you first what it what happened, and they will do it all over. We just play it, but I was just very bold over by your person, like really yes. So please may we are re. Oh thank you Monica. I read that sounded so far. You mind, if I come to you and you re a grand, it's like there are very good at cop out, but a good one, a successful one one where you go. We're gonna be friends. Now, Another name of the progress could have been we're. Gonna be friends. Now that's a great and good name, but it's called you made a weird if we want to hear it. What am I plugging?
Do you now cross pod promote? What can I say it started? Not. Like when you watch a movie it when you watch a moving your kind of just accumulating red flags more than evaluating whether its entertaining her fond or that was a good Senor images like. Oh, that's that was bad and then, after, like five red flags like Ozma was never so I arrive at your house first on like oh, I love what part of town you living. I love your choice in landscaping in the dim.
Gay. You had I really like, and then I wanted the gay. That's all you do. Is our design love a good game? I used to go and a lot of walks and are heard and I'd take pictures of gay has in yours. I loved you when you're such a man, I'm so pleased to tell you that I looked at it gave. I said, photos to the contractor, knows that you're really good and is boring nurses. They desire for forty percent of our audience is a red flag for this episode. Forty percent of our audience. We picked up from this old how something that's in our metrodorus, something like a logical going where you're like. Are you my dad? He ass he had because he was kind of goofy in swede, but he was working with hammers now interesting right. Did you really feel that way bottom a little bit because, in my view, I really he was triggering for me, cause he knows every cause. He was perfect dad,
family, because, like I'm a bad signal at this guy's perfect, his house and Build Zone House were ragtag goodies single. My weed. I just think that he looks it is also going to make pancakes he's gonna make it shed its he's off exe. Because he's gonna make a table that he can display pancakes, I made those of us who made everything you see my dad. My dad words would if, in the end, came maple worse or does your father that my dad worked with guys like that and they weren't like Bobby Jane smoking great guys but like they seem like seven needs, guys, yellow tinted glasses cigarette always on the mouth, buzz, yes! I do I was. I was a real guerrillas roofer for a period of time and then the people I'd be. I worked with generally worked like Bobby.
Vila, but isn't it allow mind our relations with the International AIR Robot Sylvia? anyway, you are right, he was more and I love the gay rights. So all these clues, I'm getting like. Oh, I love this neighborhood love this gate. I walk in your. Very warm and inviting and it's not ostentatious her pretentious it looks like a real how it doesn't look like a photographic. Magazine arrives me crazy. Sometimes we are successful. Renew it looks like a hotel. Yes, I don't know fat and my wife and I often argue about the sunlight yet its gorgeous, but who the fuck lives there. I don't you know right if I had to guess: ok, Anita our home doing that your house would be more on the poorest inside just because of the dual successes of of development.
Excess, but you have to show business you re sitting, we both agree. Males are failure. Ah Sal is likely accessible furs and I can by which you didn't. Let me like, where lack that's, why I was drawn during that's. Why you the whole, I'm feeling just happens to generate money as it is. That's accident. That's right. I say this all the time. It's just have wonderful, happenstance, that what we need to do is valued inertia, everything about this all the time I have. I have people in my family or friends, we're just like who They are, is invaluable in a cab Last week I met a difficult thing to get to we're. Just in this weird place where it's like. Can you flash year your person, holiday and make it says a lot about yeah. Can you share and can you be engaging in Geneva as like yeah? That's that does it good things but like producing there. I have some.
People in my life, a lot of people that don't produce? They don't really consume a lot either our society sort of looks down on them because their gifts, now. I am again exactly I think about this. All the time it's like my utopian goals, also don't function with what I know about the world there. You know the answer. Yes, we should stop trying to buy things too. Below regulate our internal feelings right. I do it I'm guilty of it yet clearly, that's not the way but then I go okay. Well, then everyone stops buying shit. What the fuck something to do. I run need something to do the deeper I get into showbiz, the last I consume of it like I watch to remove Isn T Vienna, like what am I doing, I'm sort of putting myself out of yeah, but I can't even on my own. I guess we gotta talk about how nice it is to unplug a little bit and consume less anomaly, but I'm also make
The thing that I want your perhaps not the evening and drove that pod. Guess. I'm still thing. Please watch my shower. I will listen to this by gas, so I'm full of shit in that way. This is what I am saying. This is why we have the Republicans and the Democrats in our house, and I have that republicanism it's like I like and producing things, and I like consuming things. They also have a Bernie sand. That's a man! It's like just put it also valuable sit down reluctant hopes or whenever there on Bernie, not bad real more than not bad. I was lying while he must do. I try. I do homer. I do. I just want you to know that the workers and others I do it's up to you to review move. Would you do
but no more New York and ok. What do you say I'm from the yoke of a book, and I want to dismantle, did you could you only the girl, I'll drive it I'll be leaving it now? I don't believe in banking, nor banking people see it's. Ninety percent handled is nine April every job. I want to give you a compliment. The people they love balance, people that lover house, I know, there's some kind of trivial, but our houses cozy and warm and lived in. Yes, that's Sort of I wonder of young Christian Kristen have something like that. That's one of our tests. We have people they combine around. They're just sort of like. I tell the story all the time because apparently had hurt my field. But we ve had more than one showbiz friend come over and be like. This is a great starter
Oh, my god, you, while this is like those we have very small bedrooms, like our kids, are not going to have their own Xbox tv set ups in stages bed rooms ashore at Rome placed a ghostly. It's a place to stay for certain, not one of those houses and we don't have like you know a lot of fancies outbreak, you like the house, kids, are you gonna like values? That's what I'm in two hours I don't want to go into them either. We know that hedge injury or presentation to the house that the Algerian genuinely what you guys enjoy being around, which I dig that's right and that's gonna. Like my inner world, you know, I mean everything is kind of out their easy access. It sought to clean resign tumors our like it and menudo sorting only about our house. It's a house, it's it's nice, but it it's. What a child would draw with crowns. Where are you from I've robust and learn from, I say, Boston cause? They look like
because they Lexington people think I'm in Kentucky Chair. I love. We don't acknowledge that I rang were from the burden, the weighting of the american revolution. Oh very well, I heard round the World Lexington Concord. I read seventeen. Seventy eight, you're out of your head around a voice that unity, You are, and I was thinking, but you know it's funny I think this is where the Peat Dax dissimilarity might begin his because Boston is a very not always my experience of Boston with a very macho place. Yes, so growing up. I I just want hard mom. I know you did too, but my way of going hard mom was like to not like the Red, Sox and love talking and going on walks rail of gossiping.
An inner worlds and feelings and stuff. So, like I sort of figured out at a young age that, like Little League, wasn't getting my dad's attention in a way that I hoped I became like a little Gentlemen, I hardly a little butter, a soft showman, but I would Imagine in the suburbs of Boston Gap, because there's a few cities that Our little man show a little Alfie a little culture of pride ie, but that varsity there's so much pride. I did the joke on save your own right. So why do people get mad when you say fuck, your mother, and it's like you, don't know, my mother, that that sort of attitude that I have comes from like? Why are you proud being from a place like this is really an. I get workers it so indiscriminate, like it's just just weird that you happened, your parents got private, The other man, exam location and withdrew. Michael ITALY, especially like quite a bit with, has a joke about like why you proud of your big dick. It's like it's. It's me nothing to do it right, but I understand now I used to have a bigger chip on my shoulder to be like who cares?
land, just like a fucking thing. I understand you ride in a crowded where you're from it. I understand I used to be one of those kids. It was like the Red Sox aren't even from Boston like I was that guide and I've sort of relaxed. I understand clans, that's something I am always tribalism good way in a way that it can give you meaning- and it's funny. My group was the group that not being in the main group, but it was still a group- and I know that's like a freshman year of college observation, yeah same way that our non fancy houses, also a way of sort of establishing a fancy as you so fancy they you don't even have to brag about, fan slowly. I always think it's kind of gangster that we don't need to have the eight year. The gorilla in the jungle that doesn't have to have a silver back until just go time instil go letter, but that's it the big boy and I'm only thing that's good. I think it might be interesting to you Alpha Baden. This is a big move and that's one of my big moves,
and when I talk about how I would never p with the door open, for example, which you did the out of fear you might to while you p in or out it's all here, then I would start right away and then I'll get my head and then I'd be like now. They can tell him not paying right. I was a freshman year of College was the peace situation was just terrifying. Indeed, you have this. What the fuck is going on. I took so many pretend poops two p m because I couldn't hand somebody's talking yeah, that's arts in theatre, like I'm, trying to pretend I'm waist deep in a river right now I can add that happen once and I'm the type of and that will like live with that sort of embarrassment. Did you also have the added thought which I know a lot of guys? I grew up with had were you you think that, based on how earthy the stream and deal with allow like how hard the Parents hitting the toilet, the people that are with you in the in the commode are evaluating hobby penises penis is may somehow
they can aroma eurozone. Why thou yeah, thicken rope lambs are entering the best part time, employment, I'm so excited! You agree with you because this is why thou was like you guys should be friend he's at a such. My on thought is what are we really talking about here and we're talking about penis, shame, always always always almost all way, and this is why manner so embarrassing. I said oh Monica, but it just like that situation is a primate situation and I was never good in those situations, but it was a really wonderful feeling. I remember my roommate in college is kind of a man to man he'd. Now you worked for the FBI. Now he's like a real tough duty as guns Sharon's they can kick stores down is a marked EL guy, and he and his friend is an even more macho guy, and I read his bachelor party, we're all hanging out and were drinking, which is also just as proof that you can consume poison and not die. You should urge, is also a primate thing
yeah, that's its social ridable advertising is, I can drink this and not die. Maybe jug about that. I'm like I can consumers instil fuck. You is. What is why we drink scotch instead of white wine, because his more impressive, it's more like nothing can stop me, which you know is. It is a testosterone things. Testosterone itself is poisonous sure so. Having a lot of testosterone is proof that you can have poison in your body but still live, which is why chisel job then and actually being bald and having here, Your body can be attractive to someone cast aside. The high testosterone, I gather from shame. Mossy did my pockets, his brilliant, but anyway I say to realize that, like the way that I was alpha was in how vulnerable and honest. I could be that's the alpha move, I'm so glad. You just said that Africa's I've been in a couple different debates with money my wife, I think that all
employ some strategy. I don't think there's any man that doesn't have salary to add a sex strategy, and it is so so so my theory is, it goes like this. Everyone in high school wants are going to deal with a pretty girl. I'm sorry it's just that's what happens where animals much bigger part of our brain is evolved to do that activity. Then you're frontal lobe thinking about how people are proceeding, is your driven by that in so many smart guys. Go. Ok will not give the quarterback of the football team and I'm not gonna punch guy out at a cake party what am I gonna do cause? I still really want women, and this is where I've been I've gotten into trouble is actually I'm the guest who have been waiting for a boy. This aid is not to say if you're looking for someone, you agree with this type of thinking. I'm that broke all you are. I have a joke, its
tonight. I was short and I know my settlers earlier and I wrote down ninety percent erection- that's the name of Egypt and Iraq and to do the job, but I'll explain the doctors the idea that men achieve erections. It's an achievement, anonymous this thing, sort of psycho ourselves into and we stay in a frame mine, and so I am going out of order, but the premises. Ninety percent of male behaviors to get an erection later. So I kind of joke like we don't want to listen to kid rock. We don't want to wear wraparound. Oh please, we don't want to drive pickup truck We're trying to get a momentum, go! Let her talk about. How like forget to put TED Nugent order heart, that's what it is. The sort of like I'm this guy, I'm this guy, I'm this. I can speak for everybody, I think so we'll get. It surely thing for me when I'm like out, there's conquering and feeling Paul's and that's when I want to get fucked. Funky
so am I, to talk about how fragile erections are and how weak manner and that's why we need those things and I say I've lost my erection cause the dog came in and looked at the funding? That is this vulnerability, and I can't handle that psychically. So the best part of a joke, I think, is unlike you know you want foreplay, but the erection is here I don't understand where spinning plates right now like he showed up, and I don't want to do a twenty minute activity into. Sometimes you know he'll be fine. I got a twenty minute. Fine, but sometimes you like, if I do that he might not come back. I'm plan russian roulette. So guys are we already it's, but we're not fuckin so soon but that we don't know that women would prefer lots of foreplay. Strong move to a person quickly. It's a week move we're going we better do this, while we can then- and this is the best part at the jug- I do every
things about an erection go including this bit. I go. My wife is here night and tonight I'm gonna be like, and I move my helps. I go to remember vulnerable. I was eight years ago. My insecurities today rangers it's a move: it's not insincere This saying what I am it sort what about fancy houses and fancy cars? I drive a non fancy car and that is in itself a Sort of alpha data. It is a later. I don't even need a Lambert, that's right. If I were doing, then there would probably be part of me. That's like I'm doing what is appealing about me, maybe not for sex, but I'm doing what's good Opel like it. People want me around, they feed me, and they include me the more. I am this well, let's go a step further. So if you're, not the captain, the football team, the captain, the football team appeals to whatever percentage of the female popular
Should it is, I don't know, let's just randomly say it's fifty percent very high, so from a girl from my eyes, like a captain of the vote, but I do not have any liability looming. It's fifty. I was now that's a nice girl but MA am Let's just say it is that it so that the beta issue, Guy knows what those fifty percent are completely off the table or use is not going to happen for them right, but this other fifty percent. I found this thing than they do fine very attractive. And I'm gonna lean into that as much as possible, which is just good sense. If you're trying to procreate work with waiting, and that's why I'm money, whether you think I look like the quarterback or not. I never felt like. I looked like the court, I'm back so I'm like. I gotta have a pretty tight what that brings me back, ok game, though here I have in my room and his even alpha year, Cook, carpenter, contractor guy and after the Bachelor party, and we ve gotten. It was like a bachelor party
again, I remember the kind of an alpha move right there. You have a whole weekend. You claim a whole. My way, don't get me started out on my wife has even having a bachelor party should laughed herself. So much was of luxury weekend with the bureau did so funny I didn't either. I didn't think I had one. I probably didn't forget it, I didn't, but whatever anyway, I've got it. Enterprise. I've been the guy that brought cigars and I remember vividly some of the guys getting sick as eight in smoke. Cigars knows that this is what we're doing you. Don't you understand, I'm having you with my all right values on its own childish, I'm not proud of any of that. That was over ten years ago, but that's what a cigar is. Can you handle? nicotine of seventy five cigarettes sitting, really quick cause. I guess that means I can take care of my kids
every all you ve, every culture has a rich allies active courage that men do to prove to other men. You can trust me in combat out on a hot interesting. This is we're evolve to display this loyalty to one another and we are kind of out of the old ways: we're not gonna hit each other over the head with boards to do add or big fuckin insane plate tattoos you know, outbreak, so we're gonna, smoke cigars and drive fast cars and all his bonkers stuff in it as we want. I want you to know. I will die with you in battle right. I just think its day jurists too, I think you're right, but everyone, men men, everyone, when their young figure out the thing that is attractive about them and lean, and to that end, if you're smart, you exacerbate those qualities and minimize the other ones you gave another is Everyone says it's not fair to say, because he doesn't think something's money that you do think it's funny that he is,
compensating or he's because leaning into this, like super liberal thing that he thinks is attractive, I think, may the early on you recognize this is my personality that brow eight and shiny and attractive, but that doesn't mean ease in. Sincere when he's doing that now. That's all part that is his personality, but I think what might be missing from what we saying is that I don't think it's necessarily scheming or back evaluate duplicity, Z comes in instinct at a certain point. You guys doing like in the way that I'm trying to be polite right now, I'm not trying to have sex with anybody. Anybody right, but I do by habit frighted. Because I want this pod gets to be good. You know, that's what I mean, I'm not being an asshole by warning the show to be good, bye, kind of talking and also there's a part of me watching my talk and going. They don't be too cock. Down in a rob at doesnt mean its insincere. I guess the bigger question
Is there any true self? Less kind act but you can bet, there's a motivation behind everything with Ray. I agree with that, but I dont think the motivation is always pussy. I agree with you, I don't, I think, really what you're talking about, I think is accepted. Stay to experts there we are. To you by the great courses plus, which is an amazing streaming service. It gives you unlimited access to learn about virtually any topic under the sun had said Eric law. You- and I do- consumed one of our called outsmart yourself brain base strategies to a better you in there were some fun countered who'd have things and there wasn't there. Yes, he was shocked by some of these tips. There was wine that I found really interesting. Doing nothing for twenty minutes can actually help beat procrastination.
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yeah But the thing I really want to get too is I have to soon that your suburb of Bosomed is a little bit like my suburb of Detroit and because he chose this lane in your also a big guy. Your ta did guys fuck with you, because I think there this misnomer that all of your big, you don't get boy but weirdly allotted. Trying to the roof themselves by attacking the big guy? Did you could use thing in that lane peacefully had a prison situation? I'd be the wise choice. If you want like someone, that's actually large but easy to take them, I'm here guy, I opened a little bit, but this actually goes. The punchline of that story, with the dead. The bachelor weaken is that at the end of we can then these are his words? Are mine
and we were young men and he was like Jesus. If I could talk like peace talks, I could fuck anybody. He could. He basically said this to me and I just couldn't I'd never occurred to me. I never see crystallized. What was happening is what we're too about as you would like. If I could talk, I you could talk. Are you up to any girl? And this I don't think that's true, but he was like and I could whew them. My smarts and I was I that's my this was a guy who, in the course of the week a tv broke and you got in his truck. Anyone bought another db malady ring, Arians install that guy and then I was like what I, I thought we were having a great conversations. Animals like this is what this is. What I offer I I called the handyman to fix a very simple piece of leaking pipe this morning, that other people probably would have known. I shut. The water often fix it, but I just call a guy sure, but that sort of like an open move.
The dad that one can ask for directions. I go hard. The other way that starts to become appealing as well. And then being able to talk and to communicate, becomes its own type of Alfin as well. That's kind of the current state of comedy, I'm sort theirs Rogan. There's Bilbo there's a lot of like real men's men but in the real in the nerd scene. If you can pick a restaurant that you want to you that quickly or or put up a boundary you're here the seller back re quickly, so I found my cigar or, if I can just be, they gonna want chinese year, King Gos, yes, I'd love to see his bottle with that kind of goes into something else that I think is interesting and I'm trying to as they get older. I'm coming to terms with the fate of all. They said that I'm not a competitive person. You could do a super cut at my part. Gets me saying: I'm not a compelling, I can't believe, that's possible, but it it's true in some ways and then the more I'm quiet with it. The more I'm like that's abuse.
Probably just let him values in the conventional ways: you're, not competitive right and I dont I dont have contentment issues. I dont compare my career to other people. Because I'm sort of like I dont even deserve credit for This is something that sort of happens. I have a good amount of equanimity and up that's because I've got a lot of good luck. In my life like Valerie in theirs. I have values and things that are fed outside of show business, and I think in a lot of work and all its efforts up. So I don't do that, but There is a child in me, my it is very childish and once every one to love him and present him with gifts he's in there shower. I think of him is Daniel plain to you. I think of my mighty goes down your plane from. There will be blogger and feed in the plain view tonight, but then the other glimpse I can get at him is, Doing stand that you know it is a big cars we were so awesome is that he would sit down in a chair which is like already had some of us
Super beta move like it's, not it's not over the town, but not a command presence here in just to make that choice. But the gate is also now you for slow. I I really learned something we always have to say this, because we, the monster in Europe, a piece of shit affecting inertia, and that's real end and the special himself he so slow at the beginning. I dont know if he's smoking a cigar and that special, but he did sit down it doesn't beginning to show here most of us come out like tat. The time had come to exaggerate comes down either cheering any sit down, and he does it. Doesnt light a cigar, any sort of tells us first job, and I feel is he almost seems to get tired during the telling their ill gotten out of the people
area, facts so alpha it's so alpha be quiet. Quiet I have been called. Quiet is cool. The works requires gothic, Denzil lodgings, like that. You are right as a quiet guy in the jungle isn't giving away your position Like you weren't, you know, I think, of a nerd. That's a nerd ruining everything like you just gave up your blog lunch. Table that everyone can see where with you, you ve got married and then he does the first joke and then he acts surprised that they laughed, and I think that as such good. Acting as somebody I know, he's done that act, a thousand times by the time is filming it and he tells the first joke and they laugh and he goes like a big cause. We face like oh here listening and that's when you got a ride. So that's that's too,
that's something I learned from that. Rape is. When did you start doing stand up? I believe it was. I think, with your around two thousand to ninety nine year in two thousand increases Doing at eight thirty up even eight zero, you were twenty one yeah, that's alright! Ok, it's like me ass. It is he's thirty, nine. Ninety back, ok, so realise that you read my my sport events more possible someone being able to subtract quickly. Others motherfuckers tell razor. He read my mind, but I was Stanhope was an acceptable at a polite way to be to everybody. Had not everybody, but some of us have these deeply competitive, deeply aggressive feelings. I I would play basketball. I've told us geography. I wouldn't count points. I would count friends I had made about how about I was never. I would sometimes win the game
the game, and I didn't know the game was almost over. I just didn't get that stuff share, but stand up was the place where my plane view could come out and he wanted to tear I like when I was young. I wanted to tear the mother fucker down. I had a lot of you. Don't listen to that much punk rock if you're not like a little bit angry and I wanted to exercise some feelings. My parents were not what This was only my father. I wasn't a great like listener. In this. He is he a funny. Man gave him, he is in so that there is there room for your personality in that house with another huge one. So this is where the competitiveness I mean, if you were just going to be heard at the dinner.
You have to have some angle where there's a Bible story, every one turns a thing off: it's an old testament. Sorry, everyone's more comfortable with the area you wish one year period. They belonged, everybody trip, genuinely three religions claim the old testament. So is Jacob. And I will ask you if you familiar with it and it's almost over taken his eyes the story of these two brothers e size, red and Harry. So these alpha and he's a hunter and he goes out with his father and he kills things with his bare hands making the story better, the Bible needs to be bunched, so he's going down, he just like drinking blottings parties like it. It says in the Bible he's red literally his skin is red and then their Jacob and Jacob They said these are. Quotas is a dweller of tents. There was an indoor captain, big Xbox, live guy. Hung out with his mother, and I was Jacob somewhere.
My brother was count, is Harry, he's actually kind of red to ok and bonded, with my father at Ivy, an athlete more than I was now get the the revelation that literally wasn't working or being obsessed with the Red Sox wasn't actually getting my father's attention in the way that it might appear to. I was going get stuff, I wanted to be deeply lesson to. I wanted to be unconditionally lab. I wanted to be known outlets or survive. So I was like that seems like bullshit. This. Is the story of genuine he's our Jacob Meda, a pact basically with his mother, and they ended up stealing the blessing from the father. The father was going blind and Jacob. It's actually kind of puts animal skins on his arms, so their harry and sneak there lies and is like. I'm, you saw them, is a big deal in the old testament. Is the Father gives ISA blessing but is really Jacob and that he thrives? You comes Jacob, you
but you know about that sort of what happened. Is I learned that through communication, through listening through personality and through a little bit of conniving, not that I stole from my brother, I realise that that was how I could be. How I could get attention and that any in the long game. I finally did get it from my father, but it was only once I started doing things it paid a lot of money, jar Denny! Then you could go. You know I did. This is our origin, bravery. Like those two thousand eyes were left handed my shit we're all dead. He understood you knows impolite to talk about money, but with them it's it's swell. You are all aware about. That's the only way to his art. I think it always draw my dad nuts and right until the end that I wouldn't just tell him the exact number. My bank account battle areas in the region by the way, I probably would have let him in
belgian that, but I knew he would tell everyone he knew cause. He would want to get the attention for himself. So how like there is nothing that I could give to him that he would immediately incorporate into his own attention see what that sort of narcissism of maybe both of our dad's is at once I became- and I say this love- I love my dad this at this isn't like may ones. I became something He could brag about. He had a way to interact with me and enjoy me yeah that he didn't quite understand when I was a kid in my pj's with Mikey bored improvising song right right in Paul way interrupting his baseball game. Do you think he thought you were gay at any point, I'm really surprising. Didn't I was like all my friends were girls? Can I traded stickers with the girl? I love. Girls. The average is weird, that's a hint that you're gay. You know him like any other sort of thing, but does that he doesn't exactly. There is like the simpsons you, you kissed, a girl that so gay
yeah I got the girls were talking. They were talking right and if they're talking I could be funny yeah. So whether not he thought I was gay, but I was also like pretty section war and would ask him to buy me pornography or anything. I was the Jacob. So I was like I want pornography is pre, Eternit, ok, and I would just ask him: go dad. Would you please buy me a play? Ball seventh, greater some. You know weirdly, some we share in common is that I stole a playboy or two from my grandpa, my Papa Bob and I was looking at it at the dinner table and my mom came and sat down in my brother was five years or the me as like weight. For her to yell at me. Niggers aren't you gonna anything, don't you like naked people, just Eventually I like I, was allowed to look at her. My boy, I Francis Mcdermott, two thousand persons acting right there, s not a random.
I don't know funny because my dad was going to do it my dad was more the France's Mcdermott? He was yet. This is the visit the eighties, so it was not insensitive her work as we are now so you just flat out through but there is some wasn't get shot, probably yeah, maybe a little aware with my love of music and theatre in, being silly or early release turn some level. I wore a lotta re on I love like wearing like ass, had washed genes and slap raises, so my mom, though, who is super religion told? That means that way. You know the Bible, it's weird, any that you know passages of the Bible. I didn't say that chapter and verse thou what have been like super cool assigns China. Third to do. You know it due to write to me seven. I can guess Genesis: twenty is
Abraham, an eyes exerts gotta be after that want a lovely story. That is this out enough to make you put the book down. I don't know what could be look it's that story in the Bible like eyes, oh god, the guy we worship is gonna. Make me kill my child. To prove my love, em yeah? Let's keep going sounds like a would have done it on the near them crashing one of the story, axes that I saw doing a christian tour and I do this whole. The resign. No, it shows is twenty, as I do a whole routine about how fucked up a ram and eyes then it's like it's a whole to do. Yeah Shawnees did this way. There's one man play God. Can you hear me or something or no it's me, God or something he was playing God. But in boy they got into that story. Armies, it's fuckin, bonkers it. As a metaphor, it's beautiful! Why? As the worst metaphor, I've ever heard is that someone would require of you to prove your love to them. That right there are the gates. That's
don't worry I want, and in the opposite of antithesis of unconditioned. I hear what you're saying: ok, but I've reacted go ahead, and I agree with you. I am not a fundamentalists and around saying it says added. Therefore, it has weakened, cut shit and say that's not good enough, and I am not an expert on myth. You know the metaphor being our attachment, and I worldly desires are like a first born son. That's the analogy. The metaphor is our attachment and our desires are Your first point on Walden, whose says it's a metaphor I feel like that is alleged last ditch effort to gives some semblance of fuckin humanity to values or yes like how long after written before they go old, they really mean is your attachment to your television? Well, you know you start to get the feeling that you're dealing with metaphors and myths when snakes are talking into p.
All make everyone. These rights are realised that you're telling, with a semantic, take an ancient way of thinking. Ok, that is less concerned with what we consider truth, rational true idea to dealing with Iraq, Trans, rational but also just to counter the notion that were so attached to our worldly possessions. Let's go back to three thousand b c people than if shit you had a year skin water sack there's no way be wars I went out to the sugar I wasn't even come, can be consumerism. Let that's what makes it a good to me, an interesting metaphor that you have to give up everything and I'm talking about an end. Attachment nor about the new ipod. I'm telling you of my attachment to my own identity is in the way of my understanding of God of my Union with God, my understanding of who I am in this world, and that this is my son, and this is my family, and this is what can happen is in the way of my connection with a god that seems to be a sort of outside of our
I'm doing things that we don't understand dancing in a way that we don't culture, but I would argue your connection dear son, is the only road that could even potentially lead me to believe in God, and some of the opposite of that. That's why it's it's a good story. Now it we wouldn't be talking about the strain any good jewish person. I would tell you that this conversation is the point of the story and if it wasn't about God, asking you to kill your son, would you debate it for thousands of years? Thank you. It s a live. It was like a strong argument. Give up your yak relax a story about a guy who kills this young people were already killing their tax nea and look at what happens in the new testament gods. You know. I also believe this could be a metaphor. Sacrifices assigned it's all about giving things, giving up yourself, giving up
We go and that's a very eastern idea when you soon out, do you think it's mostly just did that? Would it serving as a launching point discuss morality at the car? Then a fluid, and it's like what were saying about Republicans and Democrats being imperfect. Some here's an imperfect story, yeah, nobody, that's what makes Jesus so compelling is, as that is crucified, whose hands means far too very, very good carpenter veritable he's up. There were bottle under man, arbitrary saddles, saving veal via the bottle, up there with Bobby but being suffer in dying isn't perfect. That brings it into a human room, and that makes it more interesting. Yes, gas. By the way I dont care of it, we want to throw the whole bible. Oh I don't give a shit, I'm just saying right. I like that story, digits, not your bible work just now. I am your cold dead hand. I don't care about the revolver when I bought was religion and didn't want me to have a play by that's, that's, ok,
when you were twenty one he's are doing stand up and were you in great fear of it like I was, did it scare the fuck? Are you yeah, of course it's so scary right. It's still. I hate. If someone comes up to me and goes, the show hot tub tonight Monday and they go I see or on hot tub on Monday. You say that to me on Thursday. Your way, I want a slice you with a samurai sword. I fucking hate your face when people think they're being nice and people think that I'm sort of potentially living I've been doing it for eighteen years in a place where that's not scary, and I want to be honest with you- it's not scary, but I don't like thinking about it. It's like saying, hey, I see you're flying to bird six, a m on Monday. You know I mean it's like. I don't want to think about all the things that I asked you to do. That makes me go. Oh, I got a pack
I gotta check in the night before it is that I want to get their advice air whenever you global war. So I don't, I don't, want people pushing, so I still have some anxiety about stand up, but the sort of interesting paradox that is as you need it as well. Fuels that makes you well look. I've had a lot of jobs. Were the outcome was highly predictable. I'm if I'm pounding Fuckin flat, Jeanne, with a penny. Now I know it's probably gonna happen. If I hit the nail correctly with a hammer, whereas job at any given moment, I'm sure does occasionally goes completely sideways right by an issue recently, you're. Never, but that's again that railway lava infinite. You got an early approval. Every fuckin time now, what does your trajectory from you? You build a
stand up career any do quite well as a stand up. Do you can be very comfortable just doing that the bright and I'm sure you could have done that in what propelled you into the crane shown will stand up? Is your wife and then everything else? Is you have a lot of Mr Salute so but stand up my approaches. I always like the term. I dont, like the term comic. I was like the term comedian, as I just doing comedy so like I always I was doing stand up, but it was actually, as is as these was one of those guys, one of the first guys that was doing sketch as well. Are you shoot videos and I've? So I haven't told a story whilst Ivan uses terminal, I would say Burger King people, Burger King,
Burger King opens. Where Mcdonald's already is so you have an hour, they do, but they don't have as much of an hour indeed apartment in that regard, because they just like well, here's where Mcdonald's is your will open nearby cause of the internet and stuff. I started to notice my friend, Rhine Ridley, like a mention disease there, all these other ways to get content out there, and I have always said this nobody believes you can do anything. I always thought I was a good comedic actor, because I was used to make little videos with my friends and I have always loved that. Sometimes I just love comedy yeah yeah. I also like the rhythm I get in when I'm writing a sketch writing of scripture whenever it is, but I did these things for ouch humor, which is he had of them, and they were huge. Who has really so then, when you're trying to read? for a tv show. Your agents also send a link to like a really funny Batman, SK. I am that helped the super helpful doors as well open doors.
You know what I mean is an area where there is a very real within all the while doing stand up. Did Laird, though, is part of it like you. Have this healthy love for it and then is another part like monica- and I talked about this all the time she'll have a fucking audition in Santa Monica at five p dot m. For your toll gate in she does not want go, nor does she mean, took as may be furious. Three commercials running and I laughed again Santa monica- I, like you, thought I was laughing at you again. Can you can even the leave and I think a joke is monica- went to Santa body mathematic as in Santa Monica, so in she'll walk me through in sugar? If, if I don't drive to Santa Monica five for something, I don't want to do than my good Judy's going to disappear entirely Casal gotten too big for my breaches and we,
this like this relationship, we think we have with luck our ideal, aiding our lack when you want our low. I just feel like it's. It's all gonna run out. If you make a best selfish move, Furtherso budgets It is a sign of cockiness that you might value your life a little bit more than that drive to Santa Monica for cargo and then summoned back your mind If I, if I do that, then I'm never going to work again as I've just shown that I'm entitled and I'm not humble anymore, leaving your wife right, so I'm wondering if, like part of it, is you love and nor that another part of his like a superstition. Almost I dont, I dont have superstitious or supernatural feelings about it. Although I do know you're talking about you, dont send something like that in the universe, but yeah doing stand up to me as a drives. At Times the Santa Monica five o clock. We rely prove your still humble and hungry. I look at it is honouring passed me pass me did all
this work, the memes mass me looks at me and he just like what the fuck is, your problem, not even in a bad way, but sometimes I complain that guy can plain to you didn't. I know that was another guess, a video honey counter broke his only talk about that. Your cash counter brought right at the bar, and now I have to see all the way through it. I don't want to get very that with my money. Bird is either that or that you'd put you didn't put premium fuel in your Lamborghini. How spiders delirious, and I'm me will hear me like I don't want to go all the way to the comedy, store and he's he's just sort of like he's, not mad at me, he's just like we used to be outside and now you're inside is it who exercise it for our gratitude, but the really the main reason is- and this is an superstition and images and trying to stay low. As I keep calling it it's because I really do need it
I think maybe I mention this vow will say to me. I think you need Do a there you're a meeting, semi aid, as is as we as we realized. My life will occasionally go like. I think you need to go to your Tuesday, meaning I shall remind me, oh your due for a check up and in that's for you, your yeah, I get off stage and I feel Oh I've never done cocaine. I'm like, I think I just did it's better than cocaine itself generating if there's no love what I'm better than her candle DUMBO a thought where I thought. What is it? Do you think? Because another thing you you said as you quit drinking a year ago, so clearly people you don't need to quit drinking generally. Don't quit drinking is rarely coincidence, someone quits drinking yeah, right yeah, so you probably drank in some way that was minimally below your expectations of you. I wouldn't let me yeah and so are you doing.
I know that you're into Buddhism Philosophy a lot of different I'll, generalised, say seeking things yet like that. Do you believe, do you think you're a handle on what is at the core of all that of the drinking all of it? meeting the go. Do stand up to keep your let's just say that I am a lotta people. Dont need to regulate their mood with something else. Yeah that's interesting suggests. I would say the fact that you, u recognising, can admit your food needs regulation through this activity. Here. Do you? Are you curious? Do you think you just bio chemically, maybe maybe rounded depression. Do have you had trauma society and travel? Ok, so I we were talking about this today. Actually you gotta be in my belly. I have a ever been my belly and that's what anxiety feels like, or it feels like. The sparks that come off chains of a chain is being dragged by a pickup truck, the sort of like
I also have a your Gregor. My anxiety sounds like a Dave Matthews Ban JAM session to many fiddles. She's the one lives symbol that obliges all these things going on right. There is the most basic response is, I would be in my belly. I go to stand up and I don't four days it's like a wonderful and then the deeper some sort of answered. My might you know there was dry, king in my house, there was a lot of lakes figuring out what things meant. I became very good figuring out. How beware things were going we'll where they're going yeah break the tension with humor necessity out of necessity, adding my own survival out of my own and ate a bald spot on the side of my head. Out of the stress, I know, is very signals as they could touch it. No girls were hardened. I don't know what they were saying. They were a p. Did you feel like because he believed in God there. If you stayed the course she be vindicated, because I think that could have been helpful, for me to go like yeah, you're, gettin shit
but you know what the meek law inherit. The earth you're gonna get reward where did have some boy by over his fucking know we're gonna mount right now. I love consider if you'd be level areas have you brought me to never become a chasm and energy use? screw. You be the scariest all personally grudges. You'd around me, thirteen, my god. I know you. I would cast you as a christian
groovy guided but like at underneath it all is not great. I also was looking fur stand up and church gave me something similar which was being listened to you know. New means of the church was like a p. Was a group of people like religiously obliged to be kind, yeah sort of took advantage not in a bad way in the way you're supposed to like it? Can it be myself in church churches? Actually, when I first started getting a bill Cosby again, I would get up and do my bill Cosby Impression, tell a story from emission trip that I have been on and I would get my first laughs. I didn't impression of the youth passed her like that, like a very safe place for me, because the minor leagues no mean Highschool felt like the major leagues and youth group was just like
Is it just like the nice gets a sort of his eye performing bring your family exactly who was very safe, but I was also looking for father figures. My dad was a was great, but I loved that there were like these Bob Vila types like male leaders that were very nurturing and they loved God and my dad is not religious, so was very interesting, meat men that were kind of like my mother awe, and there is always something gotta going on. There was a moment. Catalan. Great, with pastor like I was passer, was made to act like that yeah psychology going on there. Stay to express their we're in based and supported by policy genius. Monica yeah give life insurance. Now. Will you need to get it? Ok, allied I won T all right. Will you should you should go to policy genius because listen, it's a drag to figure out how to. Get it right? He saw a puzzle. Who's got the time who s to the energy
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What I also in you that we have in common is. It appears to me that it requires a lot of self evaluation to keep yourself like it. If it is, leave yourself to your own demise. Ie is gonna end up in a negative place right, or that goes to the drinking Ria as like people like us, think we have some common enjoy going in figuring out tweaking the levels and I thought about it sought this. I liked him Ferris, but if not, I dont get divide from him that I get for me like there's him. You know temper and Yo Yo, YO temporary. To me and Anthony Robins to me seem like these sort of perfection warriors. I enjoy them as well, That is not what I am. I dont want. The people listening to mistake me for that. I it's it's so much less sexy in kind of together and it's not. This pursuit of perfection is more of a quiet, keeping your cell phone,
did exactly it's more Radiohead than yeah, so much more wounded than that in inside. I have like you know it's it's kind of a full time, job and then occasionally, I zoom out above my own head, and I'm like this- must be so annoying to such a large section of the world. S see how much because really at the at the bottom of it would appear at least that just narcissism it's like I have to be. I have to be a self valuing all the time beat be super aware of home coming across all the time. I have to do all these things, to keep myself out of the dead
I guess what I wonder is: is there any party, your brain, that occasionally see somebody that you have evaluated right or wrong, but just simply cruising through life there, not introspective every five seconds and they're not doing all this stuff in you just think yourself. I guess it's kind of I often come out on this side of philosophy. At the very end of it, it's like we know, the real philosophy is is stop asking because there's no answer he's been your whole life chasing your tail and raised to eat a sandwich. Go to the next thing do this. I can't do it or are all end up depress, but are you envious of other people at least did appear? I know in and give me five minutes and oak come up with fifteen things that I think they should be thinking about, even if they seem like I'm a let that Malaga only saying we're gonna, let I love Seinfeld like sound familiar India, everyone's greetings, and Nigeria, Romania.
This great, like he's, was get that Gulf and Cosette was eating, is accurate and annoying Zack is annoyed with people still mean him without his permission I to get annoyed by that, and then I hear Jerry does go like get over it. The fuck you. I have no illusion of privacy out in the real world, and I think like that, if he really thinks that that seems liberating, I wish I could get there. You have it, I think Seinfeld did there is one of the reasons I like Joe and too. I think he worked really hard at it. He's like as an acknowledged that he does that work? There's some about? I know he keeps our part. He does gazebo unease and stern, who really make fun of stern about his psychotherapy, yeah and yet somehow, but he does have some answers Jerry. I think he's doing the work himself
off he's got a everybody might have their own path and we may be totally wrong, but I would say you know it's interesting. He said something on that show once that. I just really repeat myself tat. I was like you know, we'll get there and if it's, this will deal with it like this area, like every club I will deal with that. Everybody has a great attitude law. That's what I was going to say when you were saying you lament, may be driving the comedy store. The did. The thing I think is productive, as opposed to me going I'm not humble all this will be taken from me opposed to that I'll go. Nothing ever in life is as big as my Europe. It is so I sit around and I worry about things at night, sometimes for two and a half hours, but real thing.
It happened to me all the time like I you know. I was DR my card on the four or five fucking broke down on the side of the highway at nine thirty at night. Now that some, if I think about that happening to me, it seems like the worst thing and I could spend hours there, but I just went straight into like solution mode. I gotta get a tow truck. I got it. Goober this'll be funding ever Aubert when I'm in the actual situation, in like a role with anything- and I love in the average- is an honest about my history. Very rarely have I been super uncomfortable in a situation that was just insufferable gets right, but regularly. My thoughts go to this insufferable place. That's absolutely right. We're about to have a child. I find people keep trying to impose exactly african and fear on us I understand this can be overwhelming and I am certain that could be sleeping very much, but you're gonna be there. I take a lot of comfort and going it'll be eventually dream p that have
like shit on his adversary like his own, yet they loved to say to you like you'll, be out with all beyond my beautiful little daughters there so fond they're doing something so cute in the very first sentence. Someone's mouth is wait to their teenager and shut. It sparked off like long that prefer the hockins. I don't mean it, you know what it is. That is the benefit to me of mindfulness of being. There were often casting malign out way ahead of us and we'll be there will be kind will be present. Presence is huge. So much of it is just like I will be present with my daughter. And I will not pan years, what's hard doing work. You don't want to do that's hard. I've done lots of work. I didn't want to do a fuck and its hassling corn twelve hours a day. I did not want to do that. You want to change the deeper and cleaner little, but all this shit. I can wait like little that those things are worth. It was an accident you in love with an alarm clock that goes off every ninety minutes like, but I love, but people leave that out
yeah, because they're trying to Russian get through it, which also brings me the other thing, you're saying like we shouldn't waste our time and I understand you're, saying navel, gazing and slicing everything in talking about everything way too much, and I agree with that, and I sometimes think that model is with the understand that we're gonna find an answer, because I would say that the questioning the wrestling than the Us Jacob Eightam Jacob niece of whom is the answer to this they more mythic approach, it's not that we're gonna come at o meditation in yoga, and then we get enlightened or whatever it is it's more like no, the conversation, even the wondering, if we're wasting our time by having the conversation is the poor while its yeah, my like my life time goal is to love process and Don't worry about results, that's really like the. If you the agreement on only one, I'm happy is when I'm just enjoying the process. Never thinking about the result. I actually think it's quite funny
is that I this is robbed us. I was made of the hope. I guess, without mentioning roundness imaging round and round us ropey here now is this things. I'm here is my roamed ass. By the way that we all have. We all have our idea. He talks about. It's really funny. It's it's the idea that, like you, want ice cream Lenny, you eat ice Craven, anyone water, they have water, and then you want television hours and then you get sleep if sleep and then your coffee and, as I think, a lot of people sort of confuse the events of life. Like life as what the point is that you, this is like. We should be sort of hovering over. All of that. The desires can be there, the attachment to them and the attachment to their outcome. As what you're surrendering, though I want my car to start when I get in, but if we can sort of step behind that desire and not be so attached to it, one of the practices that I have it is called good. Episodes of my carbon.
It's down actually say to myself good episode, outline of a good episode, meaning linking this were an episode of the OECD would be a good episodes. That's a season, finale, PETE's car breaks down. I was a good fun bottle episode like what's he gonna do. I think one of the reasons we like watching tv is because we can be dispassionate about it. Can someone else's Vulcan it someone authority, laundry we are invested, though we care about them. We cry and we laugh and so were invested, but we also know oh, that were on the couch, there's, also something sort of going on similar with your awareness is that you're stuck in Dax like you're in there and I'm in here, but you also sort of witnessing it and that's where some of the less attachment to your suffering comes and that's where little bit of peace comes and when even like, when my wife left me, you can look at that moment like that, like holy FUCK, what is PETE Gonna do here and that does the new referendums at an hour now without really happened, but yeah
so you were married prior yeah. I didn't know that that's over how long, six years, six together for seven total, that's a lengthy period of time, was an longer than college in how autobiographical is to show its accommodate yeah, but it's a code about a guy crashing. It's called crash is gradually catches but hills a crashing in life. It's one of those sort of theirs cringe moments like pain, but there's also like real drama. Like I've pride on camera. That, once a season like Handmaid Stale, where she tries every episode bright. There's a lot of emotion happening in the shower chat, appetite pennies this year show riots in that's his special. Do they comedy out of pain? That's why? But you do him yeah that out of him it wasn't like it wasn't like. You can make this happen, because you jet appetite with light, I think this is like your senses. Were you able to go into that relationship going this guy
I know something I don't know like. I not be me, but if I go through his, I actually think that's one of so this week. At this Friday, we cut together this thing that I was like this is the my faith. It's me doing stand as a sort of like pivotal moment in the show. It's it's like the finale of the last up a sword, and it's like I can. I go off scrapped and an add on the day I was improvising and we got there like we got to what we needed. We needed this. It wasn't supposed to be hilarious, so, as we heartfelt was, but a wrap up a lot of strings in the sea, Is it supposed to be a little existential and I got on the day very difficult, my new struck and you didn't lightning struck and without at least scriptures, so proud of myself. I made it happened with the quality and the room, the air changed and every
They felt that everybody, the monitors, felt it and I was like I've never done something like that where I feel like. Was acting better because I was improvising all the stuff and I was like that's going to be the perfect way to end the season, so we got together and we show it to Jed and he's just like. I don't think all I had. I am because I trust him so implicitly, if anyone else, it said that I would have been like we're wrong. You sure he says it and my heart breaks a little bit and I would I'll tell him that I'll be like I really like this year, but I see what happens specially when people like me, creative types, manic types I get very excited about. My Even as I'm telling you this story, I'm telling you how I made lightning strike in improvising on that day. What does any of that in the show, You know me right, are they're gonna, be subtitles at the bottom of a p, was improvising now along more. We could really feel it did so here. I am doing this thing that I'm like this,
If everything in the world, as I don't think, it's right and then I just I don't say this sad way I surrender to it and he helps me be my funniest than my best and then every once in a while, like as their master, actually in a way that very confusing to me, because I actually said when we added it. I was like there's no doubt my mind is gonna love this right and then he didn't and that's that's. What, then, is the site confusing the student? But after I thought about, I was like he is doing the hard work of going, I'm protecting the show. I know you're pretty. In saying this? I know you're proud of yourself shower and that's a good late night nationals got married to this good free. Look at what a big boy you, big baited, even Edith wrapped yearning. Writing your golden glow acceptance leads, you don't give a fuck and that's one of the genius of jet yeah, so
They did. The show start are super autobiographical and then slowly only on a life of its own did. Indeed you feel any moral complications with, Telling a story, though, was to people story. You mean my ex wife here I really is in an amicable separation. Let's start there, we haven't talked him, I don't know it's been a decade, she had an affair and she left it's not ok. This is totally comfortable this. I fear. So I'm just sort of a black and white person, and I it sort of I haven't friends at having caught hold of me. If a member, I believe, what are we gonna get a nice going good. Is that somebody invaded there's a beautiful ivo, I'm only friends like one of my
since, for the most part, I really without we're gonna, be together forever. It didn't work and its I'd rather not hang out again the Inn and Yang. Am I right friends with all my expropriated? Where were you completely broad cited by or did you have in cleans up? You had no no inkling, I just you know it's twenty two, it I got married and I was twenty eight when she laughed yeah and I just It was a simpler time. I was like you get married and you're married I never did you under arrest aided the amount of work that goes into being married. I think I underestimated how complicated a healthy relationship is. How new once did as deep as I thought. We don't fight, I don't I'm never mean we're always kind words daily and we laugh- and I give her my time- people always gas- that it was because I was on the road all the time or something right. I was get really mad at that.
It wasn't working that might right, though I was around a lot and I wanted to be with her alot its unfortunate that she sorter gets painted, maybe in her life for the broad brush cause. She had an affair and last year- and I have made this comparison before, but there's that Bob Dylan Lyric in, if you see or say hello as if you see here tell her I respected her in doing what she did and getting free. Aha, though always happening was I wasn't seeing or acknowledging her in the fullness of who she was and I was actually a little consume with starting this career and stuff. Oh yeah, that's a whole other, yet hung of this two tongue Tonker, who is trying to leg just sort of clipper wings and simplify her and put her on a pedestal and make her very sweet and safe and easy, which is, as it were, saying this I my values, does I think she is very sweet.
Save it easy, but my axe wasn't that so I was sort of treating her like what I wanted and hopes that she would be what I wanted and she sort of its very past. Of aggressive animals aggressive, but it seems tweet. So I'm being I'm, can I just say I'm very guilty about two were in the past. I have tried to whether consciously or unconsciously, almost shape their personality social fit perfectly into the the Roy, I need them to play and my wife married. We got married because we had sex and I wanted to go to Chicago and I was religious. Yeah I'm in this. So what I did was not making excuses, but what I was doing was to make it work ways. I was twenty two in the ways that I thought as I like sweet I like safe, one drama I dont want fighting, I'm threatened,
by the way, I'm also I'm tackling something, that's incredibly scary and almost impossible to carry that stay out of it at all I utterly rear in show business fellow. I want this other aspects of my life to be suitable to be very simple no you're, not John C Riley is like Heaven above ground. My work at all, to that idea that I was also in a very open about this. Oh my real love was Carmody, which is of a safe way of saying myself yeah, but she broke up with me. She actually said I dont want to be PETE homes as wife like that, doesn't interest me day. I completely understand that so the fact that I was like she was sort of an she very much enabled my stand up, and I think I mixed the love and gratitude I had for that. But I wanted to move to Chicago right. I wanted to go to Chicago
in problem pick and second city and get on us and all that was like my goal, and I didn't want to go alone. This is so embarrassing. Yeah, I'm dating a girl and we had had sex and when we had sex we got it liking gave like we're going to do it as a sort of I can't I was twenty two, as the only ask you to convey twenty two and unlike well we'll get married and then I'll go it's scary when you ve, never been in the real world. I also went to a Christian college was like a bubble. It was so fuckin, safe and neutered. I wanted mooted Chicago and go every night into bars in trying to stand up and improper yeah find an apartment get a are get a giant me alone. On top of all those be alone, it was just like this. Is that you, the summation of why I think my first marriage and work is because I thought of it as a box Riot act yeah. I, when I have a wife yeah, I think that's pretty common.
And then I think, to the whole reason you end up. Taking ownership of your own mistakes is to a recognize what you need to make amends for the other person, but then, once you ve done that that's that steps required so that you can eventually get to the part where it's ok now to forgive twenty two European yap. Now, it's not ok to forgive yourself before
heaps had started people that were the victim of that, but but once you ve done that work and then you can actually go and by the way, man. I was twenty two in this. My first shot at all this and I fucked up in its ok, I'm a normal. He I'm just like everyone else like that's. The goal is to come out where you actually can forgive Yoursel yeah, you're sort of made me realize that they're probably is a part of me that would want to talk to her and Anna and apologise in that way, will do not, I think, crashing kind of is sort of that has very weird backwards way of adding a message to a pigeon you I don't know if you watch it, but if she did, I think she would see these little winks at. Like I mean the show opens with me disappointing or sexually and then disappointing her by leaving it like three o clock on a Sunday to do an open mind, I'm just so, oblivious about how she might be feeling and I leave and a cuts back to her on the couch. Looking like the fact and the recent cuts back, because I'm in the end- and I go now cut back to her
on the couch like what the fact by law in that shit, I'm trying to keep us with her. I have said many times the value in the story of my wife Where's your rooting for my wife to leave. Ah, and just because The last thing that I wanted to happen and even though technically- and I made this point when we are breaking up, I didn't do anything wrong. I was nice to her. Sure I said you're trading good for potentially great caution, mothers, other guy she's, like that's absolutely true, but I I do admire that she wanted
something better I'd? She saw she sort of. I think she made the point. You like you very met, the love of your life and its comedy and then, like I couldn't be as emotionally in relation to the available as I am until I met vow, which was after I already had a talk. Show you ve got a lot of the the Mimi Minas out of my system or at least tell me how to manage it, and then I had a podcast and understand a career and these things are thriving and then, when I could sort of relax my plane view was fed. I could go on right now. I can wait. I've been doing for the past ten years, which is vital. On being a person. Apart from my show, business between you achieve those benchmarks in the EU actually don't feel different. It's a great opportunity to evaluate o than what is going to make me feel different, it's in it, but you can't it's only a luxury of having found out the right. The dream was falls yearly like use it. You said very. If I am, I guess, you're like if young Dax could hear me say a million dollars.
Make you happy had be like. If I had a total, I tell you right: we have the good fortune of getting to the place. What what I've noticed? Isn't it doesn't feel good too, to a certain extent, and I believe the numbers fifty thousand to a certain extent as making money and not having to worry about your needs being met, does feel great. Oh yeah, yeah ass, an unwelcome Gladwell book, I think, for a family. It even goes up to at least you're still designer Black Platt towing it two to thirty seven year and then starts getting Diminute amateur. Yeah cells in the movie happy. Yes, a direct right move as a grave error to self. Of course we're. When your knee needs to be met to me it's not status or mine.
Or fame or any of these things doing what I feel like I'm supposed to be doing in answering the phone that rings in my heart. Yeah. That's where meaning comes from for me. I didn't it just so happens that making a tv show is wrapped up that sort of stuff, but I'm not doing it, but again a circle back. It's actually the process, that's giving you better! The esteemed did. You then, have a little bit of a laundry list of going into you and veils relationship that you said, Well, I got to avoid a couple of these things. Are one of them do not repeat a pattern? What the most important who was listen and that people be let people be who they actually are yeah and don't try to. If it so, the road is alone was still I kind of like whispered again, give yourself to forgive yourself, you're, trying your actually in search of making them predictable. Yet as again you ever
You grew up in a lot of that's right, but two met vow in a way I had come down and I knew what my non negotiable were and now it is when I met them oh she already knew I was a comedian that was very very helpful. Is this is this? Is the self realized person you're gonna have to be? Comedian has just said These are the abc of Berry and bury knows that he needs to fish one weekend among the more he needs to be in the woodshed doing this thing at this, and then you meet someone like Thou, who does want to be paid homes as wife, not because of the celebrity. We don't give a fuck about the hearty. We don't go to parties, we don't gotta gifting, whenever there's nothing fancy going on, but she loves being in the car with me when I'm silly and we laugh and then I go. Can you please email that to me whenever I said she's in it, she comes to the show. I do it. She's I hear that allow rang in the wings everyone!
observe more than me. There's no end. Does my wife like she's there you met her job there. Performers are drawn to her she's comforting and nurturing everyone. Do I give a fuck about understands the beauty of the FAO and the fact that I met her fully cooked yeah? I don't think I could have a healthy relationship until I was like, I need people to know, I'm a baseball player promoting right right I was a comedian, but I need them to go back. I place for the mere it's like. I want them to know like it's, embarrassing, talk about our egos, I suppose, but like my first wife and I were like me- will live in Woodstock and we went to Woodstock and the real it or what we can afford anything tat. We had three thousand dollar three thousand on the bank, but they were like. This house belongs to whom a thorough
let us remember, quiet voice my had going away. I don't want to live somewhere until they go to my colleague, MRS Pete Home, like its gross like I had something the phone was ringing in my heart and I may be confused with a desire for fame, but I had spent enough mother fucking time making peace at my dinner table. And I had spent enough mother fucking time lying, but I was gonna, be a youth pastor at a lame ass christian college being polite and shouting my fucking mouth, and once I was out it was time to burn the God, Damn Barnes, yeah, and I should have been more honest about that women, I wish you'd been like. I know, swede guy but yeah. I have a huge acts strapped to my. Back and I'm in a run into that with the bavarian hordes bavarian Green buys. I'm gonna need to do some shit, yeah when I met vow? The battle was over, they were, there was deadly
I was in our silo. I could just say: would you like to talk about the meaning of life? Would you like to be silly with no meaning yeah? I mean that was the time when I was emotionally available and winding most careers require a pretty all and dedication to succeed it any whatever the career is, it can get dicey. There was deleted, seen meet, Lorn lack is placing life on the show was excellent, and I was very surreal to act out these fights that my ex, if I had it, wasn't the words but often some of the spirit was carried through and I was feeding her lines to say it was actually things that I knew would make me cry because I had to cry or I wanted to primacy, and then I had her say had her asked me if you're holding me over the cliff and comedy, in the other hand like which one do you pull out, you can only like the good son
I had to think about it. And while I was thinking about it, she just when, like mine falling, that's that's what it was its task and it's not polite and it's a little bit embarrassing and it was my backing la lifeline. Well, I'm excited to talk to you again posts baby baby, because again, I'm in a b, the annoying person that's already apparent, but I think a lot of things will get crystal clear for you allow in their the best things I can get Crystal clear: what fun the edges, everything getting their proportional right size. Important sea ass happens like that, so, whatever you think combat he is in serves in your life and being labelling. All that shit yeah at my prediction is began wide essay. I hate when people meet you with your kids,
wait till this, but I'm saying it out by that thing that was ten. Your now realize was at its best for that Yeah, you that's what I want so bad did so again for me for a narcissistic egomaniac in search of endless approval. It was the antidote for me. People hate how much I rail on about having kids, but just for me personally, finally, giving a shit someone more than myself. It was so liberating to me the whole pursuit of control
It means I be Jack, it's actually not the day. I mean that's best for us, even though we have set an aversion to chaos, it actually is beneficial, but that's a very spiritual idea to is that pain, suffering, loss and change are things that we should make friends with at I've completely on board with that, but I said the Henry Winkler: who did my bike? As I said to him, I was like I was in my bathroom as meditating, and I am I wasn't being very good at it. I guess, because I couldn't stop obsessing about a nose arab and then I went into the bathroom and spent way too, along with a mirror vows, like vanity mirror and her tweezers. Looking for this other fucker, new and plucking in applying and crying isn't plucking then breathing, unlike treasure, safe, it's very aggravated, nay, holding my nose out, like Chief Wigan, like PIG, knows and getting in their deepen and somewhere in the middle of that I was gonna, have some fuckin kids
How do you agree that story I like, and it goes I gotta kids in those three years in you'll be plucking Really I wanted to. I just want to plug the book. As you mentioned me, stopping drinking the idle have a sponsorship with this person.
Right, but because you don't go to air and no, I don't worry. I am actually curious because you did go through the the programme I currently are here in the programming of the book is called this naked mind. The first title: control alcohol is the second pebble. What I liked about the book for me, that is acknowledged the idea that you might be addicted to alcohol and he might have like been taken over by something that lied to you all of these things that are like here's, the marketing, here's, what it does to physiologically here's, how people slowly drink more and more overtime. I wasn't like twenty eight beers at the ball game. Alcoholic
like I go home and have a bottle of wine every night kind of guy or more if it was like hard like I just like drinking at the end of the day, Germans and nobody saw you re, not that falling controlled and Valerie. The sounds defensive, but I mean, when I say value wasn't like worried about my drinking. It was very madman. I come home airport
Brown shout the racket off inside your exactly and I like a little piece and actually have like really find memories of playing video games on a Saturday and drinking and lily determines your. I came out of the EU when you wake up and start drinking right when you wake up what a day, but then I noticed that it was styles is losing control. That's what I like the idea. This book is- and this is the part that I'm not sure how a people would feel about it, but one of the things that I appealed to me was that it said. Maybe this may you go, but let's remove you, don't have to be an alcoholic to be addicted to alcohol for some reason- and maybe it was appealing my narcissism or maybe go. It was just saying who cares? Let's just get you to not drink shirt for some reason that helped me get in a little bit more. First and foremost, I don't care how people good drinking, which is, I don't. I don't have stock in a year
but I have noticed with a little bit a peculiarity that people are very hung up in a lot of the semantics of this stuff. So right, I've heard a lot of people be put off by a cause. You have to first admit your powerless right. On a powerless over. You know what I did so triggering for them to be powerless, yeah, I'm fine without yet to me like on our abilities and generally the answer to all thing right and if you don't think, you're perilous zoom out yes, never mind the solar system inside of you. That could give you like an aim. Your Zimmer, like anything at every moment. The only thing I well, the only thing I will argue against other approaches is I just as a rule of thumb like, I believe in gravity. I dont believe people think their ways into acting different. I think they act their ways in the thinking different, so a programme for quitting alcohol that doesn't involve some action. I have a low expectation for
now it does work for people, and I would never tell someone it's not working for them, because in general the thing I like about a is it's not abstract. Here's what you do right this list called this person be available to this guy. Take that person do a meaning like there is it. You can't wake up one morning, cause you're so demoralized from the night before here in decide. I'm gonna permanently. Remember that I felt this demoralized and six years yet and in and then this will be sustainable. For me at least, I will forget six years later at what it our Iowa, but if I have actions that are up, of my regular muscle memory and routine? Those things will do the lifting for me. I hear that I know I agree, and I also do think that there is a lot to uncover of why drinking would appeal to you in the first place yeah I dont. I think I do believe that it is a symptom of a disease of the diseases and drinking. That's just a symptom of this other disease.
We have quite often ale go because we always say like while this alcoholic mind this alcoholic blank, Al Qaeda and I'll go. This is an alcohol is, and this is being human. Yet these are human problems, like everyone can pretty much benefit from the steps right. You know now I hear that I think here, even though I'm agreeing with everything you saying I would never go into that programme because I do wrong. I never reached a place where I felt like, oh no. I dont have control over this or it's an interview, with my life in any way. But again, this is another stumbling block, that's really popular or ubiquitous death, but you can march that all the way to me watching the HBO documentary about drug addiction, which I watch and there was a guy in New York City who would buy crack. Then he would melt the crack in shoot the crack up to her,
I could tell me so we'll talk. I've, never melted crackdown and shouted up. Maybe I'm not an attic like if IRAN, if, if that, if you can only define yourself that way in comparison to someone else, saying it's a lesser or more that did so irrelevant the point: is you either reusing, something that stopped working for you or you weren't? Now what level that was is pretty immaterial. In my opinion, you either trying to regulate the inside with some from the outside and start working for you or you warm and that's pretty much the definition baby of an added as yet. Certainly did you lose your job or you penniless did you regulate your emotions with something in did you get to a point where you realize that wasn't gonna work anymore, yeah yeah so tell me that I had set out all add new guinea was eggs with food with gambling, which are being re.
Any of those things where Europe controlling me inside was shit on the outside Ray and that stops working now we're in trouble. Now what I think are fun drinking was then think how many times you been in a bar in the back label on a beer bottle, Bruton, Analyzer Bush in his reign over. Nobody tells inhalers as how embarrassing for me What's the scariest moment of had my life, I'm drunk I'm bored out of my mind, reading the label on this battle over and over again cuz, it stopped working now it now. What do I do? Cuz? I don't know, I don't even have the fucking. Then re no longer working right. I will. This book is very, very thorough. You know what it's like Alan Carlsberg, but smoking the easy way out. It's one of these things like. I still think it's really great, I'm not saying I will at some point, maybe do acres at the sound interesting to make them, but there's fur and entry into getting me off booze. I recommend the audio work.
I would say if you like drinking and you'd like to keep drinking, don't read likewise bugs that you're like because here's what I like The president has shifted the narrative. It's not like it's bad for your lever, people, don't why you when you're drunk or you shouldn't change your insides at the outset. None of that it's just like now call made you it's bitch, Europe. Yeah it's I mean like this, but it's like you were lied to its very addictive chemical call it alcoholism or not. Either way you are addicted, you thought you had control, it doesn't have to be like we're saying I woke up with the car keys in my assorted. We're Ivan William stories. It can just be like my rock bottom
but I came home and I was going to sit on the couch and watch some stuff and I forgot. We had a friend staying with us and I just went to the back house, but on my way I just picked up. I like sake. I just picked up a bottle of sake and I poured myself a big last one of the back. I didn't drink it cuz. I looked at you had, the beer lay one as I. What am I doing like I do. What I was was. I didn't remember, giving myself the order. Like gets wider- why I wonder why or whatever but a minor inconvenience, and then there was a rush, Ghip Amran, just sort of time travel to the next morning. Yeah so wasn't like like is that it is not like a great stories, are pretty boring story, but I, like the the book, came at it from a place of just like you, don't have to think of yourself as as, oh and aha as alcohol. Again, when I retire, I think I'll start doing all those drugs again
yeah and kids are safely at college and stuff dragged yet a golf cart drinking. All of it does to all I know is that my own thing, my holding, is once I no longer operate a car in my penis. Doesn't work, I'm safe to do all the things that is. We can trust me on any of those things while my penis is still working in while I can drive a car. What, if I may, the retirement community, I only travel by golf cart, my penis as a work fucking bring it on. That is delirious we'll be I love you. I'm really glad we gotta to do this. I know- and I really wanted to talk to you pose baby, like maybe maybe like a year after you ve had your little baby girl you but then he thinks we had now. My favorite part of the show the fact check, with my soul, made Monica bad men back check, didn't eat, Tink, Tink, Tink, DIN work in at that fact check DDT
it. Didn t bows, nice says nice in short, no sittings although you did say you're gonna start making sign up about me. I know haven't any time yet it, but I'm gonna get anyway high. I'm gonna carry out your real hungry, manage your mouse. Has got of ferocious appetite in Hungary What do you know when you leave here? Really why italian film? Oh you do yeah, maybe them Lazard gonna, maybe some Hosanna lovers honour, I I don't know Oh, but I am starving, you want something substantial. You want some carbohydrates, yeah he's in. You want some awesome, noodles yeah, but I know what I always want that we all do. I think so heavy a train yourself to not want that. They know well I'll, tell you how it happens, because you and I both watch mommy and she's perfect right at me. She's just either. Sorry, it a baked potato. Ok, let's not put it out there odd, baked potato
more but is put more potassium than banana and tons of carbs. Oh, we. I woke up short necessarily bad: are they either for not aimed empty curbs on it's not perfectly eating too either being I know a sour cream, and tea is on it. I would he wore the hot dog crammed like use. The potatoes are born y know. Let's let me rephrase it. Our mom eats a ton of vegetable shit, I saw you sit down with her and she's got like for courses in vain for vegetables, and I always look at it now MIKE. How could she do it? But I have it I'm gone on diet and then, by day, three of eating, like her it all taste good. Is that you? electing impress from how good that other shit is a reset. Your bar yeah. I think that's true I like, if you can just train your brain, that it doesn't mean,
it tastes, good. Looking and not everything needs to taste amazing. Then EU, then things start tasting. The then Brok, which I love broccoli but broccoli, starts tasting yeah one we're not deciding between that and laws on. You won't. Even I was begun for a year right near and during that time was at work and they had a baked potato bar did so. I can't put sour cream on butter cheese any that right, but I don't have that stuff in six monetarism and I just took a bite of the God. Damn potato, and it was fucking, delicious ear nose like oh, my god, it's been my whole life since a potato tasted good without should I re, but it was damn good. Just given this spot, you now ha yummy potato on its own. It was good, but if I it today, I believe barf, because I had a friend who was asking who is trying to get on a diet who was trying to get their body healthy and
she was asking me what I eat for lunch and I was like well if I'm, if I I'm doing well I'll eat a salad for lunch right and she's like, but that doesn't tastes good and I dont know what to tell you. It's not everything needs to taste like your lunch doesn't have to taste good woman. I've been unlike crazy diet for movies. At that point, I just tell myself: no you just eating cause. You need to stay alive. Yeah highlight of your day, you're, going to make something else. A highlight your day is a source of pleasure. It's a source of sustenance, yeah bitch, sometimes when I'm eating really well, I feel a little bit we. This is gonna sound horrible hunger, but Guph was enforced Sundays and I'm eating really help late. I can tell I'm in my brain not very healthy,
I'm using that I get really strict about. It arrives controlling its very controlling. So sometimes a meeting healthier Michael, actually, I'm not in that good of a place, because I'm super focused on this. I can only eat this. Cargo for breakfast made like I'm trying to lose weight, I'm just trying to regulate emotions probable. Yeah yeah, that's so whose too I don't Oh, I don't know either now arose I'm sorry what like, when I went, I mean that convincing mood I got money, the whole fuckin, cheese, pizza, yeah, I tell myself why even be alive what do I want to live so long just so I could not enjoy it right then, and there. That makes a lot of sense to me in that moment and then you know other time do. I know you feel like shit, they do so right now, ok, I'll buy you won't. Let me comment. No ppp baby
Thank you for calling leaves, if any, Easy. The bottom line is that the verdicts out we don't know what you're going to eat. When you leave here only down of legal update everyone, I long Thursday, ok alone can sell PETE heater homes, so this old House Bobby, he has said That's so it's Bob Vila well, is a violin. I looked it up and its spelled with one hour a horseman. I accept it. It was the aisle. I now invite just goes: Robert decides that that we don't pronounced l l with a why if, as a spanish word does mean, it is the problem with this? Yes, people know how to save their name. Like I had this friend I should say your name, but I had this friend in middle school and her last name was Canute Sin and my mom like a dairy products with the can.
You d, like their cottage she's Newton Cottage she's. Only it's! I don't know about that, but it was. Can it's an end? her and my mom is like no it's it's that that K is silent right and I was like. Oh, she knows her name how arrogant of you to me. You know I didn't say that by properly said something worse, how arrogance of you too, You know somebody else's name better than them like Riad Oriana, that a big one She pronounces it re Anna, and that is of this extra. Yes, whereas the name Riyadh? Oh yes, because it's already our any goddamned climb up the giraffe Highness Lana each quarter,
Amy. What do you mean sending you hang out his haunches I was midnight we want is an I'm glad. You need ask our first if you have permission to do that, but yet why would never mount someone's hindquarters? Without you know, some of the consent consent be that physical laws verbal or whenever a right you don't eat. We do talk on here, like people ask who our whole passes. We prisons are well documented- and I never really have an answer- ok, so partner on the list. I this extra too. I don't think that's fine. I don't think as a draft. A majestic inner she's got a long. She's got long, torso it now. I know I, we will be calling women naming them after animals feel so problem. During the annual than those Rana who can ask her if she finds a complimentary to be called a sexual f. What have we found out that lets say that sack brass you found out referred to you,
as the sex chinchilla. I hate that right away. I said yeah ginger beer, we want. Only just be saying what I say anything and no see that's right, there's the breaker data. You're seeing her as simply a sexual object and a sexual animal actually, so you're, not a person. She is a person, not course schedule animal super talented person. Kit hewing now they know there's one o clock away by the way it doesn't feel comfortable always to have to think all the men are seeing you appear as a sexual being orders Dunham all pass. Your emails, but really I will use that was about you said with when you want sex in front of any name. Renault, not sex, rat
is there an animal, though that you would like to be called sex blank now, just mean it's not all that comfortable for a woman to feel Every single man on earth wants to have sex with her because that's dangerous. The danger that our get into a genuine conversation now would June. Do not want people that you like to think of you, a sexy in sexual people that I like nine every person on the street. No, I don't. I don't wanna, be walking down the street and a guy sitting on the curb to think that or to see my body and think that so I'm complementing myself. I guess I mom, maybe I'm arrogant at this moment, but I I give myself enough credit that reality would like knowing that I'm sexually attracted to her okay. Do you think she would or want it
I don't know, I don't know her opinion is over. You don't know, I'm just glad if you would hearken and guess what I dont know. How should feel about you just calling her that I dont know if she might love it, she might I down, she might Haider reexamined if you don't like it I'll, never say it again, and if you like it, I will say it like saying here also: why would he called me? chinchilla. I was the first funny animal name I could think of it, which is. I do stand by the fact that chinchilla funny they also don't have been avoided. Any will want to be a funny name, something I was trying to make. You laugh so is trying to pick a funny animal that I could put sex in front of that will make you giggle. Oh, you were trying to make a point, a real point. I will always priority is trying to make you laugh. Think over a point, but maybe not all anyway, but anyways. If anyone commie chinchilla, I would feel upset you museum
but in is there an animal, but again it's now its mandate in some, You really want to think you're. A sex machine and smoke- Ok that those words, what did ok but is an animal that you would would be your preference and they said Zack, something I guess what I'm wondering is. If I can definitely I it's worlds obvious the guy's tattooed on their bodies like there's some pretty generic popular, Animals guys want to be associated with a wolf. Yeah well, I am, all the eagle and I'm just curious of women have, the animals of formulating a bar. I think there's like for a lot like those like Ghana, Panthers. Except you all alone, sex Panther, sacks Panthers, probably of something like it said. The air been well
Damn was that the name of the Cologne in NAM Anchor man, I told her tat. There was a maid of Panther parents, figure with sex fan. Well, whatever would have would have would have been ass, lack always referred to as the sex panther I'm into it. I hope you are of overlap. Why do you hope? I am likewise out like a positive thing and it's a negative thing. If I'm not does not war its vote, negative images I'm I'd like it when you are excited some wondering if, if you found out Ben Afflux referred to as a sex panther, if you would feel wills, bringing you're your get, but I guess I like he hasn't had sex with me now, Have I with three an yes, so you don't know. No, I don't know house, it's all fantasy right so what you really saying is you're not saying she's good at sacks you're saying no
I want to have sex with that person. There's some people, I think love sex and don't love sex and I couldn't prove it in a court of law. Just we have vibes about who he thinks good in bed. It's not good and bad or say when even have a fancy about or why would even? Why have a sexual fancy about something you're, not gonna? at least assume their great bat like one, don't you think Matt and banner good embed does not actually very little to do at the fantasy, for me? But when you are mad man, I think the fantasy is so much more about the several they're, giving you not add not sexual. I mean really happening on the management of sexual. Be great! Yes, oh yeah, yeah! That's what I'm saying you wouldn't like fantasize about someone. Were there at the end of the fantasy the sexes. Tear you Jane, you agree. Ugly thing by you are and what I am saying that when you call her sex giraffe you you're saying I wanna have sex with that person.
What have you said, you're saying you want to have sex with the giraffe, Why the name you really? We really broke down and drilled into it. I think if I called her like the six key or as sex mouse, There's something to me that would imply almost a level of massaging. You like. I want a little tiny creature, I'm gonna control, whereas I am actually saying I'm intimidated. Have sex with Ray Anna God grant me some strength to please this. A guy get worse in the hall I don't know, I don't know, but I'm just saying for women when, when a whole bunch of manner, labeling them as sexual. Ah, that's feels danger. Yeah, I mean one can be sexual and women can own their sexuality and all that's great but it, but to
Nick name, a person sex, something it just it just reduces them down to one thing and that one thing can be about mail, power. So it's yard now. Do you think it's relevance? like a value, wait my full pattern of behaviour like I we talk about it all the time on here and I'm never just talking about them is a sex object, but for my get out of jail, free huh, or pass beer that doesn't mean she's a sex object, thus the vague uv the language is not, Well, I don't. I don't think you can ever refer to any one as a sex object were you there are per syn on an object. I got something for you to please myself with then leave on the floor like a chair or unmarried, I'm gonna have to leave eventually you just can you?
I acknowledge what you say: how can you just how them people yeah yeah again, I'm I'm trapped in there? I would love it We are. Anyone looked at me as a sub sex object. I would be like. Oh they just want to fuck me that site had so flatter. I now I never so hard to imagine that there will be flattering baby, I believe you. I am not saying this gets so tricky cause, I'm not things. Flattering, but it's different. When a woman says it be ass, much safer safer. It is safer a meter at some point- and I say to her like hey I don't know why, but I like to think of you as a sex giraffe. How do you feel about then she's, like I love that then I'll report back yeah? You know it's interesting, because if leg ban or man or someone who I burial is actually attractive, came up to me and said I think of you as a sex. Kid
sex chinchilla, but you may be said that anyway, you figure actually thought in my head. What animal you resemble kind that Thag look me in the eyes that didn't happen. Why was I hurt? You knew I by hope you did, but I dont think you even noted Joel. So, do you almost got one and call it, but then I believe most people don't order. Chinchilla looks like they're very bizarre, where no one has one I went through my rolodex name of animals and I thought of the funniest. The funniest when they jumped up first was chinchilla cause. It sounds funny sextant cello anyway. But but they said, Lizzie ran in a man around someone, your sexually, and they said it. I think of you is a sex panther. My reaction would be I like.
They're. I think I would say that, but I don't know if that's just because I'm like condition to want that One I've sexy, but then, if we had Saxon and they laugh- I wouldn't be happy here. I think the answer to it is: what do you want to be seen ass, like I don't think the thing you'd want mouse to hear from then or man is that they love your brain, even though that you they were party yourself. I think- and I share that common where I'm like the I get it. I have a good personally, I want either think I'm hot? Why won't you hang out with his anger, drawing our insecurity once the curate even and I go to her? I think we share that income. Yeah yeah yeah many people think you're a sex panther. Ok, the converse about some guys like using? Basically there outward
feminism, yeah yeah be attractive yeah. I just think that is is short selling those people so much. What you what you and I don't agree on, and what Christian and I don't agree on- is that you believe if there are men that aren't trying to attract as many women as humanly possible the I doubt and I I and I don't believe I now the way we just have different opinions on that, and I respect yours breathing. Every single guy wants, as many people the like him as as possible, and then there are evaluating what strength they have in their leaning into those in there trying to downplay whatever things they think are not attractive about them. I think all animals on this planet are trying to attract mates. I dont think humans get out of it. Now I ask that. That's not me
and every person is trying to make themselves the most attractive version of who they are and that's right, yeah. I just don't. I know you think every guys like that I I I don't. I know I know guys that art that are not looking rounded, every single girl and thinking I wanna fuck them. Then I there now Some are possible, though I mean just consider this possibility. That as a woman you're, not letting on that that we dont- let you in on that that we know not to let women and on that, because I have a million times been absolutely shocked by this person, who I thought was a sexual I was a nerd or wasn't all these things. And I'm watching them in their watching the girl, with the big boobs walk across the room, and I look at him and then
smiles, and I got out he's a animal whose mail it it's. What we are even talk about it. He doesn't do this or that, but I mean I just can't tell you how I be on the side where words safe to acknowledge your you think someone's boots or nice. There is no pattern, there's no personality type visit, our guys are their animals that one procreate, I dont think there's some that, don't, I think, they're a bunch of different personnel types, but I think all the guys you put all ten of them in a row, every single type you can make it lady, by with big volume, is breasts. They are all have the same reaction. Maybe maybe you
I think that there is definitely degrees, and I think it is sure I think you're right Think every guy, probably who saw the yours ex giraffe won't bite you did. They probably would like it. Yes, we heterosexual our sexual and then all kinds of things than come after that, Some guy is nervous. He he would never want to have sex with her exhibit too terrified. He couldn't These her or in another guys issue would be excellent crazy, like there's any number of outcomes of how the behaviour then would manifests itself, but I do think the array Nothing would be the same and then just all the different things that make up someone's personality kick and all these layers, and then the outcome could be dramatically different, one of the guys guys they hide or another
is she looks at him. He's got turnaround, embarrass really quick, but but but that woman should in turn, that's the guy who turned rum, embarrass versus the guy who said hello to them had a different, different physiological response to what they saw in here now, but I dont the person who decides to not approach her is doing that as a tactic. To get more, women like that's what I'm saying it's, not all, not every motivation, not everyone is about that. I agree with you. I agree with you hundred percent and I also think some guys do. Use it as what's attractive to women about themselves is that they are a super outspoken advocate for women. I do think that that also exists. It is attractive.
I'd be a directive that was a woman anyway, you said you said: having a back up He is an alpha move and that claiming a whole weaken with The bureau's is alpha. And then you said, if you told your wipe your having a bachelor party and she would have, she would have laughed herself silly much less a week and you go on weekends with your friend sometimes so. I have two factors ride motorcycles. Yeah I've been a bachelor, but I am, in any way saying that my wife would encourage me to go. Do the things I liking in grant me time. She does that for sure. She would never grant me a weekend to go to Vegas and go to Strip clubs B. I wouldn't azure when flying my house is all I'm sorry, I'm told- We disagree or ask her. I will yet when we first met, let me tell you something: she said: I don't
We want you to go to a strict club. I think everyone in Mr Corbett's working there is a victim of trauma. Yet I I I didn't till. I did in Thailand because I was brought by the girlfriends and wives of the cast to Strip Club in the whole town, like I'm fucked like that, I'm going to have to tell her I'm a district club, but they they just said. Let let us take you in Bangkok, and I ended up at a Yahoo, Gmail BAR and then just a normal strip club and then He used to tell the story and stand up. They though they tried to call me on stage, invites luckily I didn't go. I was feeling codependent. The old lady was running like all coming, you mom stage doing crying signs like all come on their said. Luckily, Women stop save me from anyone. When the guy who went up on stage they get the did bring got the sediment a chair use over the looking at his buddies, turned his head to the right when he turned back a strip come on stage and she ran and she threw,
her leg up over his head onto a pool in smack right in his mouth. Our vagina was in his mouth with in under a second, he was looking at his friends like a onstage turnip pay, em right them out and as a holy fuck. My whole life flash before my eyes out. I was almost the guy in the chair and there are always Australians that, like parenthood did they were young craze, we gray is weak and they had cameras. There would have been a photo with with a vagina in my mouth in Thailand by panic, I it was like it was like seeing someone get hit by a bus where I was walking out fully fuck this autumn was ended, so I got home and I told her that whole story, but they required that much of a story for it to have been ok for me to be in a strict club in Thailand. That's and you're telling about of about a very
Dan there you're talking about a bachelor party where their strippers in Europe NEA that's all. I was referring to, like I'm thinking of the old fashioned for down all wild weekend. Naked girls, dance. You know that that's poppy add our voice, a big majority of Amar that yeah any ass true and this that the outcome her head and yet bad? I don't wanna go by the way. You know if you about strippers yeah, I don't like being a customer yeah yeah, so it would have been for me anyways bright. The shine haze play about God is called an act of God ACT of God, on shit out of that Betty Dad. I've, never seen some say more words into our span of my whole life. I was in a flop, sweat just watch and he sat talent. Eddie is oh, you we talk about how the Son of God be with your kids and people will come up and near and drawing on time and wholesalers.
Wait till their teenagers in you don't like that, which I understand. I like him out of course, but I think what they're trying to do is tell you that they have heads and connect with you on that year. So it's it's not. Meant to make you feel like it's all my issue there I would also argued their imploring me to really enjoy the young people just want to connect. They just don't know how dear I guess I'm like who are you to tell me my kids are gonna, be terrible energy. It's all me ere. I feel judged Bray, Malcolm Glad Wells Book and the movie happy about money. That money suggests that came up again. How much might all makes you
actually happen and, according to a new analysis by wealth experts was in two thousand. Seventeen experts say that happiness does increase with wealth, but the correlation peaks at earning seventy five thousand per year. Seventy five grand that's it in those last that in two thousand seventeen Yeah, that's crazy. This does again again. I think location is a factor of big time: seventy five grand in New York City in Manhattan, good luck, mother, fucker, you're gonna be panhandling, yeah yeah, but I always think that war in New York on why now is an awesome city, but I'd want to be a bill. You too, David billion dollar dollar. You driven everywhere in a fuckin seems town car, but I could you this? When we were there we were, there is christian, was shooting a movie, and I was with the girls and at the wee wee technically had that we, hat, because we were eager were therefore the production. So we had a nice
the permanent, wasn't huge, but there was little space much more than what most people have in New York City and we had access was the equivalent of probably like a three million, our apartment or four million dollar, probably tat, and it was still so hard. It was still so hard to live there because I always thought that it was like. I guess, you'd have to have like a bill, in dollars, or twenty million dollars to be able to do this. But really it's just hard. It's hard to raise kids in that city, regardless of how much money you have the yeah, but I will reiterate the thing they always say about New York, which I do agree with his it. So weird Lee democratizing City, because once she leave that really nice apartment. You are on the exact same sidewalk. Is everyone else in your deal with the same now plight of that many
be borne everything. That's what I mean I mean you can't escape than the others. Also sidewalk examples show why they're gonna Gray Box, it is, I just wanna kids, their yeah yeah. You could do it on your own boy, you're my two year old button, dart out in front of a cab. Speaking of near you were just there. And I tried to surprise you and it didn't work out- whereas it there's a cheeseburger in New York and Emily's in Brooklyn Brooklyn. Ah, that we haven't, we were, there for four alive show, and it was the best spurned without ever by a factor of three or four is so good Can I just say what happened as we looked at the price and the price was twenty seven dollars for the hamper. He I said to you: this is fucking obnoxious yeah.
Twenty seven dollars for a hamburger get the fuck out of here. The burghers arrived after my very first by I looked at you and I said this Berger is very underpriced here we pay after eating. I would pay eighty dollars. I think I would to lay. I really would of course, I wouldn't even every day, but that yeah I mean thing under a hundred. I would rise, yeah it was. We urge them a jacket up that high where, but I mean it, I put it against any fuckin bonus. Maybe you'd ever have somewhere around eighty, whatever that people would spend ninety dollars on cigarettes. All raw am I, the onions, Emmy Romanian Sue basis hang on it, so I each out to them to see if we can get one delivered to your hotel
indeed this was your version of the parents come into the show. This is gonna, be pay but yeah, but I found well now so then I e we contacted Emily direct law really. Yes, you spoke with Emily Text and yes, she's a real person. Yes, oh my goodness, you did you feel like you're talking like a movie star, I I was really exciting but He said under no circumstances. They led a burger leave their establishment like in a whole like that, and she said, even if Obama Ass, she would say no, you got that right. Angrily I had was like. Ok, I get it. What if someone was die like what have you tackled? Gulags is dying in and that is why the divers have figured out the only thing that will say on the twenty seventh ehler. Hamburg. I don't know she would. I don't know she. Would it
it is sad to have probably want to people that live in Brooklyn right now there are like shut up, I don't want to have to wait three outwards irony, it's already Raphia authority. That is, we got there like five p m and we just barely and it was still flows for the up. The up. It's a goat burger so bad with well that was gone on five months ago and I don't think we ve ever gone thirty six hours without talking about it, I've shown the picture of the Berger too. Maybe like a hundred peeping out may entail. Should we should post mortem account that one you sent me here, which is the one I always show people of my. Family. No thanks. I was at the gangs, and banks were nothing, but I wish I could have that for dinner that burgers this extra
a year to sex burger. This exchange. I love you.
Transcript generated on 2020-01-09.