« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

The Good Place Week: Kristen Bell

2018-09-27

She’s BAAAAAACKKKKK!!!!!! Kristen Bell rounds out The Good Place week by sitting down with the Armchair Expert (again) to discuss stereotypes, she gives advice on how to handle aggravating situations and she talks about why season 3 of The Good Place is the best yet. Dax asks Kristen to name the times he’s embarrassed her and Kristen refuses to wear headphones. Kristen and Monica name the reasons they love each other and they detail the layers of their baby/mother/wife relationship.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello, everybody welcomed armchair expert. I'm Dan Rather's next to me is smiling currency a girl, Lewinsky's transit gather today we have by popular demand People been com for it since episode, one of armchair expert. Yet the love, my life Kristen Bell rounding out the good place. We clean up hitter as they say, the bases were loaded. We have three on and of course, we bells here to knock a right out of the Fuckin park, which she does again yes Am you know from the instructional video at Liberty Bell where they tell you this Liberty Bell. You also know her from her work and Pooty tanks em, probably most impressively. The US here is catalogue. Med circulated thee throw Detroit area in the mid eighties, Kristen Bow. Ah my boy, The values, important armchair expert right now, its vital farms, my favorite eggs in the biz are a vital farm. They are they.
No bull. Shit pasture raised eggs that means that that little cute hand is out there in a hundred Nate square feet, outdoors cage free. That doesn't mean shit that could be indoors in one square foot can still get that label. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah doesn't sound like that accommodations now in this farms company going to their legitimately nice beautiful compact, oh nice, they send us nice mail or it was the cutest message of ever received, be honest with you, and I have children right when you crack. I'm open you're gonna see that the yoke is a deep orange not that thin dingy, yellow a gold so border, no ma am now it's a beautiful George How does the Sun TAT s what it means. be bullshit free to get your Cuban for vital farms. Pasteurized eggs had two vital farms. Dot com slashed Dax do this last. Tax because we want to be in bed with vital farms for eternity. He's
We have redress ones on the bugs how I know I'm doing people like the sound of chewing will not. You can't hear anything earlier Europe's yodeling was, unless They have me so horny. Ask me so tell me on those sophronia me Sophronia, which rhyme Hansen, how's, so Rhine environmentalist, this one sorry brow read the transcript, because Christian is in housing, Johnson meters, tacos rain, Gimme, a lot that you basic. We fallen into a pattern org, which was the first time your on first well, thanks for being the first repeat customer sure the reason I thought I I might be a fun song missing. Is it with launches right into one of them?
many times that we ve been moving throughout planet earth and I've embarrassed you yeah, but we do not have enough time. We only have an outward. Do you remember specifically when now is really got your gourd? Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about and I just want to point out now you can feel very safe. I'm I wiped the sauce off my hands from the meagre talk. listen guy, putting my earphones, I'm gonna get a shot out where those meagre stokas, where they delicious air, one o my other heavenly square, one file and somewhere around between sunset and and and there's also won a Griffin Park and high period of the right sort of catty corner from the trader Jos, where the big drama was two months ago member there was a person killed from up. There is a big shoot out there There was for some reason when you said the big drama, I was expecting something frivolous did not
now I really for you. I was actually would allow there's one thing. Modern Monica knows it's when I'm making it Joe that's right now, I'm not her joke, which that's actually a joke. Has lately my jokes have been falling: slackers Monica doesn't recognizer jokes, I feel like I'm. I should quickly. Will you go to bed of an actress who always leave that part out cassettes the complimentary part? But that's the truth. You have what's that, happening as I've been too liberal in abiding slop things that I thought were really funny, but my problem was I I didn't, have the improv training you as did, and am delivering them way to sincere, there's, no sarcasm at all. It's just it's just right delivered as true there, no wink there's, not even the tiniest. But I was mainly also fully commit. May then they fall flat, but you came back hardly I'm trying to remember what westons it was at Houston, we were out, rose, celebratory, double birthday dinner for jobs so myself and yet
was it there hung you really. You brought the house down, oh god. Oh god only knows. If I remember what your great joke journal any I mean this is supposed to be a good place episode, but I think much more appropriate to have a meagre taco, its because taco weak on arms exports, no back to our yeah yeah yeah yeah. I will we were first Davy, went over to ITALY even so, do a couple weeks, a shooting on a terrific film entitled went on your arm in Rome. Yet we made the mist of living together and got too close to quick, but it worked out. They worked out in, but one of the since you brought it even if I am recollecting correctly was how one of the many ways in which you embarrassed mean peak. I am one of those times was when we were. ITALY! You have a bit of an impulse. Control issue especially with songs that you want to sing
in other words around this kind, o crowd at oratory too, and we would get in very small. Confined spaces like elevators in ITALY, any view, will Italians, we presume and you would start singing at that, of your lungs. Well, a racial saw Well Hall, him he'd say that's crazy. Hold on hold on, I was not very well known. I was absolutely on our own. What the parts that are true I've been by the way it son that we would get the elevator I'd, see some Italians and think, oh Tom, this that song, I was just most of the
a those songs were caught in my head, because I was in a deed. It did you read that Betsy I disagree now I have to toddlers and I see something happening in their brains that I see happening your brain all the time and it is noticing the most inappropriate time to take advantage of something but because it spot it came in to your brain you like I'm, shoulder to shoulder with them Italians and then in the elevator. We press forty from the first and then you to start up, but some or all Irene as I shrink into the corner. I listen the reason. I don't think. That's an accurate assessment of the situation was that you'll also admit that I was. It was in my head all day, long, twenty four seven, while we were in ITALY but
let me were strolling down the street together without any talons near who could be offended. I don't remember it coming to the surface. Ok will listen. What's your mark this to circle, to I disagree, but the more important thing I wanted to is that when you you're upset by I pointed out how much I would joy and hurrying in an elevator here, in LOS Angeles and five June. come and get on tourists. I can tell by their shoes and staff in their satchels out you just you're gettin, Ali's visual queues of these guys are in from Hamburg, and there may star like in their thing. Let me see if I could get what it would sound like me what the amount they are nationally, they rely o c c has brought
the dawn the early. I would be thrilled here's what I would think what he's cute Germans they're here in Amerika, They are drinking the coup laid their sing and our song there so happy I would take it. Is such a positive thing. then you guys think it is somehow me no, I would take them positively tale but you aren't singing the italian national and we're living in her own. Here I like a very suppliers, the national yours anyway, caricature version of an Italian. If they were singing all I got it, I got it. I know our character, sonnets. over here over there that the German our common aim about bombard over there, you know that sounded living world war to war? found song the Jerry,
they're coming by the jury is not a nice word to call Germans, but we did do Durham. Woodward too. You know that sign the s coming, I dont know I. I don't know over and over there, but I think it was the name, a song that you think I'd be offended. If the Germans were Does the pirates will know that we have that? Yes, this is do no. No, do you know why we don't have it, because we are the culture that makes seventy offensive civil well, first and foremost laid on have a lake poking funded american songs. They all spend their time. Writing them. The first glow or empire, was packs row Monica. That's not the right word, but the very first hedge amount, World dominated citing was wrong. So now they had built of big long. Empire. So again, I'm not gonna feel that their distant,
I'm not playing their disenfranchise. I'm saying they don't spend their time making caricatures out of Americans went in Amerika. We do spend time making caricatures out of a lot of different countries or totally disagree. Having all humans make characters out of all out groups, but we who goes you balls, you carry on this guilt like we are so much worse and everybody else, and we have some really well, then you will know you just If that were the only country, that's making characters out of every other country, that's just horseshit, What's your name, a country that has made the leg a well known, yeah turn on, any eighties german, french English ah the bomb Bay Tv Station and any of them
how many programmes and you're gonna see them doing, characters of other outgrew, poetry, nay rising as I have you turned on recently and or in the past, I Germans rivals and yes, I've travelled in the eighties throughout Europe and launch local tv and sought. Oh there can these french people are clearly bundling of blank rather than getting angry at Monica, and I won't you recognise that we have had a different experience than you Monica. I think I can speak confidently for you that you didn't travelled to Germany throughout the eighties did did not. I did not either so we didn't watches much german mad tv, as you did so down, and understand that we had a different experience. Ok, but why would you assumption be that were the only people that characterize other because e r d. We are currently the hegemonic group. We are the ones that are the tend to be the bullies and why
The bully pokes fine, it's very different than when someone that is marginalized books, one. We also you can't name one as I know you did a song, but we don't know it. You can't name us one step too, because song in you can name, you can make any little stereotypical song for any other country that everyone would recognise as a spur to put us on that country. You. I just think it's what I think is interesting, that you guys don't think the other countries have that song. So yes, so when we have these, we have these. These auditory accuse it of existing cartoons from beginning to Disney, which is you any Asian said anything, and you hear doo doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, doo doo, that's the cue to know our in Asia, and then there is one for France or Russia. Whatever we have all these musical queues in the notion that the other countries don't have-
that same thing for every other country. That's what I just don't understand. I wouldn't disagree with you that I'm sure they do my argument, I suppose, is I don't think they hold same power as our sound cues hold and as our stereotypes that we sling hold. It doesn't hold the same power and therefore our Farmers should be on tread on carefully, wasn't dead I also don't, can down going over to Europe and acting like the loud ugly American, which you not that I might have been guilty of, but again I was a child. I was not trying to offend anyone. I just literally was how a blast in ITALY Rip Dvd Ddt rattling. Another one that acted out only do yeah so close to people's ears in the elevator head would sink, and I would want to melt dvd. I d give like a top five most embarrassing things. I've done around you can you I don't want we discussed.
Memories of the best men northern that just pop out right away. That's up their ideas! a line. I guess I've talked about my god. That's for sure your! We are short temper in places that just simply are like a way of life were just don't see any one else we're having a short temper but or the right is enforced short temper and that's definitely the sun that is to say, like you go in there like you're in brave heart ready for a battle and I'm like God and on the way there I'm try. I genuinely try I too compensated as you know, the TS agents, they probably have little kids and they got up this morning as they have a government job. That's not very fine and like they're just they were. then rules by their job that they're trying to execute and everybody gets bossy about the rules. You were pretty bossy about putting my headphones on when I
and well I'm Una will hold on. I may not have wanted to put them on, but you were like no. I like em up, and even you defended him. You work for this ts. A operative and you are like, likes it when the headphones, IRAN and arms. I didn't say it like that. No, but you didn't you right, but I was like for my flame. Yo might Ya'Ll calm down of being in the booth before I'm cool out my headphones for a minute I'll pissing everybody is rules that makes their job easier. So here's your intention is relevant and I'm so glad you're here, because I recorded something oh and release those. I was making a case for you but you're here and you can make it instead force but My intention was to be having the same experience as you. That's all I want to have the exact same experiences you. So I thought if you had headphones on and I had headphones and we'd be more closely having the same experience so was maintained. Did it occurred to you that, while that to look at my point of view, which is that I had a drippy taco in my hand, and that, if your desire
was to have the same experience. Maybe you could take off your headphones while I had my headphones, often them monitored at all, no, but put them on at the same time that I was able to white my hands and get my headphones out like. If that was really your intention, I think it would have occurred to you to go I'll. Take my headphones off. And here the same sounds in the room she does and then we'll put em on at the same time, yeah yeah, that's true, I gotta definitely chose the but minimally we could dumb under SAM that my intention was altruistic. I don't know the USA employ. Who is asking me to hold up my pants yet put my hands over my head. At the same time, I I was there very hard time. Understanding what their altruistic motive was to help me in that situation. It's what you would have done in that, so just really to bring everyone up to speed. I went through one of those things work circles around you and you got to put your hands over your head, but you taking your belt off to put it through the machine and
as you said, put your hands over your head. I did that my my my pants. They they fell down just below my hips, like ahead cubes exposed or shaft, or anything like that and she said, pull up your pants. So I pulled up my page you to put your hands over your head who, after we cycled through that three times, and it became abundantly clear there was no way I could put my hands above my head and also have my pants being held up. I said I'm not gonna play this game anymore. How this could go on indefinitely? Does the laurel and hearty sketch? How would you handle that situation. Clearly, yelling was not the day right. Well, I believe that any situation always has an alternate solution. I don't believe that clearly there was no way this was gone. I dont believe in that an exactly like you just said: you had altered, stick intentions. You wanted me to put my headphones on, but then I said you hey, you know what another option would be. If you really really wanted to have the same experience with me meet me, there
I notice that I was struggling with a drippy burrito and I didn't want to wipe the bridge. The tacos us all over Europe, be no expensive headphones, take years off and then then we both win. We have the same experience in your meaning me half way. I think there is always an alternate way to look at it that that that person I would be able to quickly assessed as this is my skill set, that this person was simply following rules. There is probably a sexual, russian rule, which is dont. Let people like don't let their straps fall down or don't want them in a whip it out at tea essay, but also you need. in the position that the person behind the camera needs a cheque for metals in their body and soul, I would. If I went Panza heads, please put your hands up Panza hands up if I was In that position, I would set look at them. Make direct eye contact acknowledging that were both human beings in this position and say I'm so sorry, I'm having trouble holding my pants up and my hands at this. In time. What would you recommend I do and put it back in their hands because the bottom line is at tea. I say
they are supposed to be the boss when their training happens. There is supposed to be in charge, that's how they keep us safe, so just like with our kids. We can't ever let their kids think that there are the boss, so you put it back on her plate. She is obligated to help you find a solution, and if She'S- and if doesn't then she's not doing our job, and you can report or by the UN option I would see, is I've behind at very loose waistlines in the past, because I was pregnant and then not pregnant live plants, pants that are all different sizes. If you and your knees a little bit squaw and squat a little bit european state but I dont think you were in the mindset to want to find a solution now is anyone at the tea. I say just fucking with people, because there they are disgruntled in their job and they enjoy
The authority and I like to be able to tell people to do in their day ever sadistic band is our any of them now. I maybe- and I dont know which ones which and I guarantee you dont know either and that's why I am not willing, just like our justice system, to put some one innocent in jail, but also that person gonna be way less likely to fuck with the nice person than the the arrogant person yeah. That's an easy deliverables. Those by well, you're playing you keep saying you don't wanna play their game, your you are taking every card there dealing do the arrogant person is trying to fuck with people at Seattle It is waiting for someone like you. Don't I wait for someone like me. I wouldn't you there's even another layer which is you by your own admission, which I may be so happy. You acknowledged it. You admitted that sometimes people are gunning for me warming up. Old overruns, either Odin or again in a the very short gentlemen. Cop ran me up and down the flag. Paul
He walked back to the car, and you said you know what people some people do. You think you're the jock from high school, and I can't wait to get their turn on you, yeah yeah. I do. I do did see that an eye, but I also just because you're so capable of having involved when a view, I'm not gonna. Let you slack on this I also know that the way people act has much more to do with am I, then it does any one else. How you act in a situation is what is going on inside your body that man was made to feel small by some one else. Maybe it was his wife this morning. Maybe it was someone at the police station. Maybe it was a history of criminals he's dead. what are you doing in his physical high right? Maybe it was a jack in high school that looks similar to you. either way in my the eyes you Dac Shepard, who I know to be a kind and evolved human beings are not part of the equation, but the challenge to you as you allow yourself to become part of the equation when you say he's out to get me and unlike no, no, he
Just has an emotion it will you could let it be this also of you like rubber and glue. You know let us stick to him exactly like I walked through I'm, like all my god. I see this guy and he's definitely fucking with me, but that so sad that he that is carrying around all those frowns. Today, yeah and I think we would be conceived over the last eleven years. I've got much better at absolutely, and now I go into all of our airport experiences with a little, each to myself before we ever step foot in there. I get my expectations correct manner. Shocked or in awe of anything that I find offensive or disagreeable gas, and I can roll that. I got all right. This is exactly as I expected cool, stay on there and do this thing. That makes no sense. You also. You don't like to be told what to do. Well, you really don't like to be told what to do.
You don't like even anyone to suggest it, and I know that seventy percent of it, you have a thirty percent of it. Is I dont like carrying a couch through a doorway sideways A lot of people are fine, being a part of a couch carrying exercise where they just approach the door sideways and they just slam into it to see. I find that very, very fast comfort, but I That's insulting to sectors like me, look I don't like being a part of a bad plan either its was painful for you. you. Don't know that yeah. I dont know that when we have, we know we handle negotiating getting to a better plan differently than you do is interesting. because you you, are aware in vocal, often about your own limitations. You haven't auditory things of you here
some white music while the conversations happening in your brain try to work out. How do you explain that to me- and I accept that- and you tell me that's way more painful to me than it is to you- and I acknowledge that accept, because I can see the reaction to it. It's very clear, so I when I say no, I haven't different reaction, you you say you don't know that. That's your answer! Well, that's that's! A good play. That's a good point, so, yes, it is much more difficult for you. Let me acknowledge that then. Yes, I dont have the creepy Crawley feelings like I need appeal. My skin have as yet in your mind this thing isn't representing eighteen. There's a step dad souvenir like edges: ETA has more weight, I'm coming at it, a bunch of vile biochemical stuff. You have your own, the nearby, come here. I have to say your anger, you're right, I'm just I'm pointing out, because I know you can take the challenge, because I've seen how
it's a u evolved over the last eleven years and be how much you you allowed. You taught me to evolve. You know an end in a thousand different ways. Is that when let's and leaders lump Monica an iron because we're not in the autumn really glad people are hearing this, because this is our real life dynamic. Yes, it's usually you on one, just ingest, you guys, both in a very similar points are not trying to make you on one you're not out to get me. It's just a fact that its generally, you guys have a similar opinion, and I have a conflict before the reasons that you pointed out. You are genetically predisposed to be the fighter. You have eighteen years of going. Father Father and I think I personally. I won't be for Monica. I just if I see a bad plan and I confess forward five men. Since this plan and see you know what
Sarah, who I'm helping moved the couch really just wants to see a fiddle fit, and I know it's not going to fit let Sarah figure that out and then in five minutes all letter move the couch, only Iceman, I or my day eyes. Buyer do not do that by the way. I'm not like that. I'm not like you either. I would just say: hey I've done this before, and I think you should do it like this anymore. They dull, then I just stop helping You won't carrier, yeah, not always nets, but I'm not also not going to be. I will never just keep doing this thing that I let us say it's me and I'm carrying a couch and you say Kristen. I got this couch in here and I go please. I just I really think it'll fit wooden under any circumstance, go ok I'll lifted up I'll, show you how it won't fit. Maybe it's my mom These things have saying when my kids say that they can do something, and I know it's not gonna happen. I go, you know what let me see, here's the round peg and go to the square hole, see if see if it will say I'll wait while you learn well, I would add, but you're right I probably would be like our eye, but I would be
don't be so annoyed at you, and I would not. I will not do you realize you will monitor volubly ride on the spectre. Moniker is in many respects directly but yeah yeah. I just don't understand at me. I just don't understand, being annoyed. While someone else learns. If I see geometry, which I borderline failed differently than you and my brain, actually, I'm not like I too waste our time while we move the couch, but if I genuinely think it's gonna fair, why, wooden either of you wanna say. Ok, let me pick it up. I want to show you so that you have a better teaching too We can have more information going forward war? Yes, but I would say if you know you have a limitation, they almost failed geometry in someone else's there. He did it yesterday, who has more knowledge than you? Why would you ever?
as a woman and arrogance and met, is airlines. Why did you ever Billy has otherwise I'll, never learn more about shapes? If I don't ever get to try it I'll, never learn. If, because it's just like, I posted this hitherto instagram, if you hold it for me, cut it for me color for me, and- and you know DR for me all learn is that you do better than me and that's the thing about kids you have to let people try their own things. It doesn't bother me that adult learn things it doesn't other me, no Monaco. What would you have done at the time? desires. Locks were falling down in your minds. Pubic was being exposed in the mirror, telling you to put your hands up over your head. What would you do I would again would have been in the middle. I will. I would have been very annoyed at that situation to, but I would never of screen someone I just would have said. I dont think I can do both and I would not have done the step that you said, which is a very good step that I I would like to employ out myself.
which is like putting it in their hands and saying? What would you like me to do? I would not say and I would just say I cant do both I'm sorry yeah and then I would just stand there. Yeah sure armchair. Export is supported in part by audible. I love talking about audible. I listen audible every single night to go to sleep with an unmanned selection of audio book and spoken word audio products. both the internet's leading provider of spoken word, entertainment. Audio books are great psychic for outdoor activities, audible, the largest selection of audio books on the planet, which lets you fill your outdoor active is what more stories like thunder struck by our Larsson, which I just finished, inaudible loved it all about market.
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You to flee for again I recorded this thing in involve you, but now you're here is that this is great. I can do it this way. Someone is pointed it out something some great twitter, an arm cherry, a learned, arm cherry. That said that I am regularly talking about this thing. Called behaviour attribution error, but I dont know that that's what it's called. So let me give you the definition. Ok, as a simple example of the bay, Savior attribution error theory seeks to explain. Consider this situation were Alice, a driver is cut off in traffic by Bob Alice attributes, Bob's behaviour to his fun. the mental personality he thinks only of himself. He is selfish. He is a jerk. He is an unskilled driver. She does not think it is situational. He is going to Missus fight. His wife is giving birth at the hospital. His daughter is convulsing,
at school, considered too. The situation were Alice, makes the same mistake and excuses herself by saying she was influenced by situational causes. I am late for my job interview. I must pick up my son for his Dennis appointment. She does not think she has a flaw in her internal characteristics. E g. I am a jerk. I treat others in contempt. I am bad at driving. Ah, I I think this so perfectly sums up most of the way you and I move through planet earth where, when you get cut off in traffic, you generally think that person was in a situation that kind of cause them to do that that Acura
yeah yeah I had there there are times when I question it and say: was that person a jerk and that at that it still doesn't make me very angry, because at that point I just go how sad for them or here's the crazy breakthrough I had. I didn't think that behavioral error thing even got deep enough. So here's what I then thought of late. I said. Oh, my god you're that's Kristen! I you give people the benefit of the doubt. You assume that they needed to do that thing. I immediately go to that persons and entitled asshole who doesn't want away, and it is now come to me. The reason I can so quickly ascribe an intention to that person is because I myself have that intention. Very often I am entitled asshole who hates away. So I have cut people off many times to get ahead and not wait. My
turn. So it's quite easy for me to believe that the people around me are equally shady, as I am, I think, I'm fuckin monster I think I'm human and I'm in this big rat cage there when I was trying to get fed. So all this really says about either of us. Is that you actually don't cut people off in a hurry that accurate yeah? I'm very bad drivers. I don't really know how to cut someone like I just I wouldn't know when to accelerating another bears Walker in a few words would be approaching a supermarket check outline any notice. You would distance the line with someone else, you wouldn't pick up your pays too beaten in our absolute, and I remember I would surrender to the other person of manners. Yes and I honour preserve. Unlike pick up my pace, a little bit right and so what my breakthrough was your view of the world
strongly impacted by how you're moving through it and that's the way you could potentially solve all your problems. Is this to be a cop? she anxious patient person whose benevolent because weirdly die- stream. That's how you will end up seeing the world the crazy benefit from your way doing things is that you dont think everyone's out to get you and steal from you and cut you off in an that's a more pleasurable way to float through life. I think I think you end up. Like my my benefit, my reward is I get places seventeen seconds faster than other people. That's my big for a woman, but if I had four in five minutes of anger. While I was gone Venus. Seventeen second reward were everyone was out to fucking cut my throat. If I cut there's first, so I had an hour. or of misery to get the seventeen seconds of of being there first and you now you're gonna take a big head.
seventeen seconds later, the me but the whole right was pleasurable right, but- and I and I first of all, I think, you're on to something, and I also acknowledge what a gigantic compliment that is to make as your telling your wife that she's pace ten benevolent and that you are happy with the way she's walking has a nice has a nice but cheeks by I. I saw a thank you, that's very kind country, but I also would like to shoot that right back at you. Say how evolved do you have to be to even recognize a compare. Some like that are too even take that I'm to read that tweet and and truly think about it. That's why I learned so much from you and yes, you may have had a history eighteen years of step, fathers that the real they did, will you I just as many I don't have the same baggage, which is weird
yeah, but maybe maybe my experiences one is severe, is yours. You know I mean, there's a thousand different reasons why they, some of them on paper, sound like that but perhaps they affected me differently. We don't know, but the bottom line is I learned so much from you because and she's. U wanna say like you're an impatient piece of shit you're like. Border line, not an impatient piece of shit, because your ears, what all involved that you can wreck denies it you're truly like one step away, only ensures made up that's a borderline, not a piece of shit borderline, not an impact of shared but you're, not because a pin impatient piece of shit what it here we go salsa. What do you mean? You're fucking, do what is it poverty is anticipating the tumor is another
underwear! Did you spoil your underwear out through your pant leg, like people do with the bra in the shirt? Are you the first person to ever? Take your underwear off? There was a parrot like from the laundry over the pair of underwear stuck to the, of my stretch, bands- and I put this stretch pants on haphazard early this morning and the notice there was like a static, cling piece of underwear on my calf and what is this bulbous mosquito bite and it wasn't? It was undies anyway, I can't remember you're not order lawyer borderline, not an image, depreciation self piece of shit. You might you're not, though, because those people that they have, that label don't recognize things like you recognize their not as evolved, and that's why I am so attracted to you in feeling I get scared coming on the podcast cause. I just to be as strong as soon as smart as you, and I don't give like offers much an vibes into this microphone, but
cause, I wanna relieving I'm gonna. Take you to tat, not even now, but I don't I don't come. I believe I am the only person to ascribe bad and engine. Do you know that it's like? I am happy to do that you interview me and have fun way, but I think that you want a. I know you want more out of this podcast cause. I hear you talk about what you want. Podcast to do for people and that you don't just wanted to be a whole that fill listening part of their day that you want people to learn and that's why you do expert on exports and it's just important to me that I come with you no clear mind. Look people in a dream world to take the telescope. They have that's aimed at everyone else's imperfection ends occasionally swing, that Motherfucker hundred eighty degrees back at themselves. That's that's really. I think my if I added
The still it down to a single hope is that we would we were. We would not constant so much and everyone else's fault. India's occasionally look at around And I might get a little bit, but I think that so admirable for both of you, because what were you too? are doing is something that is your securing one of my life goals, which is like spread more self introspection, more fierce moral inventory like all that, because those things make people healthier and guess, I'm just rambling. Does I want to give you both a compliment that it's just a really cool thing you're doing in it's one of the reasons I am so attracted to both of you well, but it's also one of the reasons I don't come in here and just be like super giggly like I would on a time you don't have to be that's not what this is ya know, that's what I mean yeah, you shouldn't your real. Pretty your biggest talk was on the MIKE. If you want a large part, first brutal moral and material, just let me whatever you want it to be so in the last
Go around of this guy. We spent a lot of time exploring balinese history and peculiarities, but I think this episode. I would really like to take people through your other marriage, which is to manage Patman half my love, because you guys are very much in emotional relations away. Yeah love my maybe mom. Ah, yes, let's go through some of the things you describe Kristen Ass, Monica to me yeah. You just hit him, but I don't want to be clear that they're coming from you. She is both your way. My child and my mother, all at once. you're a real for really care. Or will we takes care of me and we have sex yeah, so
Let's go through that. She takes care. You, oh boy, I can think of some. I now at midnight and there's too many she's very thoughtful to you. She thinks about her baby all the time You are my baby. You do love your baby. You take great care of her even like we're. We're on were gone Brooklyn a coming weeks, I got an email from Kristen. I heard this great there's a great magician out there, New York, you gotta, take Monica to this then basically set us up on a date go to this magician because Monica allows magicians and inner free time what she has none of tat. She is some out figure out. A way yet you in front of him a magician yeah yeah. I know why you're, out of town shirking your other responsibilities at ball, hers, her yeah, yeah, that's one! using in yes in that way. You know I do
think is. Is she is that's a good example, the most generous person alive, enabling even more important thoughtful, money can just dump it places. It doesn't mean depriving our generosity of money right time and yeah and generosity of spirit, and it is often I mean I e, I think, you're, that for everyone, but I, but for me, maybe a little extra costs your baby I'll bet. You do that remain available, live forever. You a little bit like I'm having an out of body experience right now, like I'm beginning to think I'm watching the best television programme ever made, where the television programmes talking about me and my good feature on the characteristics of their own structure for wine is like. I dont know what to do now.
Releasing a little bell rang through the mud before this is over. I ve, no doubt the announcer. I love you one another thing that that she's given me big time. is what you are talking about earlier, her out gone life has rubbed off. I don't even remember who I was before I started working here like a remember how exactly I saw things or how I took things in, but like I also went on driving down the street and some cuts me off. I am not I do not have I do, which Kristen does. I do like that person might be going to the hospital yeah, but I don't know that I think I have to it, have to credit a little bit of that to her and for being around her off The time some of the goodness I think, has
rub Darfur. Only some I'd like more but only a little bit, but I do think that I'm so lucky to be in such close proximity to such a way because I really what's really funny- is easier: you're you're, like really the middle ground between the two of US she's a little money wisely, fifty percent mind because she's very small like me, but she's, very powerful. Yes, all powerful aren't, like eyes were on fighting the incoming jobs, but anyways. I can only amount and I pray I know I know you do and B. I hope you do. Is you gossip about me when you guys Others have query, I am going to be my turn to say what I like about Monica it's coming, but I just want to point out that Monica unable also gossip,
are you in India. I hope you do that the cycle of it is so fucking funny, because, generally it's like, we both observed something. You did that we wouldn't do it that way: right source, whatever it is. Mafia Kristen had to go the grocery store, but she thought she should go to Glenville. First then come back to the Euro would have sent. Maybe some illogical and waste there and then one of us is always in the right had space to them. Point out like but you know she's a lot better than us at blank. We always we we can't even really gossip about you successfully. So exhilarating nor seminar on the tv show up getting good. One of us is always like in a mood world, water or both recognise, like yeah. We should probably aspire to peace, What do you want to say about Monica figure? You seem felt left out,
no, I wasn't feeling of debt is wanted to know what my turn was political context or convicts is, and I think we try to I just briefly. I have so much to save a Hanukkah starches babysitting, occasionally for Lincoln and men are now that's more specific than that. Monica was a part of our friendship group of like you know your friendship group when it gets to like fifteen or twenty. and there's five or seven in that group. Would that you're not like best friends with you, don't have lunch with every day that there are sort of lately more pull. If peripheral acquaintance yeah, we see an amount that mutual friends releasing a game nights, but you still know them and we were needing a sitter Lincoln, and I was pregnant. We knew we might have to have some one else. and the inner circle when Delta came and use specifically said to me. I have a very, very positive feeling about Monica and I was like M will Monica gray- and you said I'm guy just gravitate towards Monica. You said all these positive things without even knowing our cause. I didn't really. Wouldn't I don't know like the inner workings of Monica, and then I reach,
how to you- and you were like. I am I house of Wise- that's what that was for that was even before array that was before, and I sat on that. I said in I babysit. Sometimes if you ever need a baby said our that helps my memory is, I was trying to figure out when I thought it was appropriate to go from knowing you were like a comedy actress to asking you to babysit can sometimes that feels like, yeah, but so Monica got cast as my as as a person in the office like my sisters and thing I secretary on house of lies and she didn't episode and it was exciting. We were there together and then she mentioned, I also baby, say so: continuously. You said I've got a really good feeling about Monica win. I did her into the inner circle she may be sat for about three months before she's started running the show. I think she knows
Christ I was underwater and said I can help you with some of this scheduling and writing in all of this stuff, and I at that moment real I saw her skill set was like annoyingly unless because she could be air giver that I needed when I was working too much in reminding needed, have water or something silly like that and also scheduling incredibly difficult events like a really good. Executive assistant was but then also producing. Projects. I wanted to be a part of like getting them off. The ground mean she's the reason this podcast exists because she did the produce oral work and does it all the time and then realizing she has a skill set as a writer because she studied at you to be and then going. Oh, my god. If I have to beyond some when I was on the saga words. Monica Patman wrote the sag awards, let's just say that for the eight years prior to me,
being around. I did a lot of writing with you in whenever project you were doing, I read and I gave my two cents and if your mother start a movie, I've made a list of joke ideas. You should hey you're, what I thought was wrong with the story Bob I saw. I had that role and I was quite busy too, and I sometimes that wrong. Well, I didn't in Haiti, the honest. I know you hated. I could feel and not here's what it is. There's two things are just was listening. Jonathan high talk about the five pillars are Roma, reality were born within one of them. Number four is our sense of justice. Maybe summer three, it doesn't matter, but I have an overly inflated sense of justice said: Almah S daughter, Monica gas. So It would be in these situations were like your hired to do all. the staff and then basically
just getting me as a writer for free. That was my sense of justice that was triggered is like all to fall out, even even more revealing about my grow side. Not only are these people just getting up a good writer free your than the one shining from my words, so you're going to go out on stage and make a great joke or you're going to go on Campbell and say some line that I wrote and then you'll be perpetuated and propelled forward, and I don't even knows I'm doing that and I'm not going anywhere. So in the moments that I feel stalled out and I'm watching my work propel. You I have to do some men. All I can do. What the feeling that arises out there. I've gotta do some deconstructing, because that could be cancerous to me, which I too totally understand, and I don't I feel calm, but in that I wasn't taking advantage of you, I mean first of all, a totally entitled what will not start by say. Ok, you're, entitled to that. You help me in and nine
the other ways that are very commensurate work, whites, railway, this going on the ego trip chorus trigger and I am saying that I'm caught it never never made me Angry when you had those feelings, because I'm so confident, I'm not taking advantage of you. It doesn't trigger me, but at what I would say is. Do you not want to do this because it does seem like you don't want to do this and if you don't that's, ok, but from my point you I'm going, I have had a career that started fifth ten or twenty years ago, where I've done a lot of jobs that got me to this job. So I may not be able to punch up this joke, but I did a lot of other work I'll though, can deliver things in a very shiny way, and I know how to do that and I ve honed there and that's. Why I get hired for a lot of things and a lot of people cannot do that. So I do have a skill set, but I'm very old about my skill set and definitely not being like joke pawnshops, which you you are so good at so from my point of view,
I'm going. I have this and the ability to make more for our family more jobs, more money, war, more opportunities, whatever, let's I'll, be a team, but I can do definitely acknowledge why that deals shitty, because you're contributing to something that you're not getting credit for em I I just feel like there's a lot of things that are contributing to its, not just like I'm not taking you ass, they paper and putting my name on it like. I did actually get the job, I'm just saying that hey when I do this job it be great. If I did it to the best of it, to the best of anyone's ability. Would you help, and let me just add a little clarification so too, in my mind, can be two things it both can be working simultaneously, one I can not want to do it. I can never want to do it and then I can also would never choose if I could make you look better to not do it
I can about those things happening here that I would never not do it like. I don't know who- the old timer you just celebrated the other day I defend, I click Vandyke and you had. A speech in ITALY heard me that there was a cool matter or to be made a man when he was born in what was made when the year here, born, amazingly, like the Chrysler building was built the year. He was born, and I saw this need metaphor for when he was born and what we think of these things. We we regard institutions, and this man was here before those things are not. I felt compelled to sit down and right that things I thought it would be. A good speech in that which he didn't It was. It was incredible and I was so grateful for it
and there it was. It was so well written Bunni handed it to me. Like five minutes before I e mails you're driving their now still were high you and then it was. You know, ten sentences that I memorized in five minutes and went out on stage in and spoke, and it was brilliant and emails. We gotten more and more that I have accepted that there isn't a division between you and I like, I think, definitely having kids helps with that which is like this. Is this this unified thing this household we have in mind because involved in this unified out by the way I do acknowledge we'd like I was in the middle of my compliments of Monica. We got very sided whenever tumblr com good at local. Ok, ok, juggle a few balls cause she's, my mom. So in my life, as more and more of it has broken down when you try to figure out like what part of either both are in our shared success.
it's almost impossible to figure out like there ve been these really specific moments in your professional life that r R spikes that the slav video being one of them like. I think that was a moment where a lot of people got to see real Kristen who cries over silly things like this and can be cured. Our was infectious so that's your thing, but then the same time I had got knew this law. So without me, there's no video of you doing that and then things that I've had they don't exist without use, Can you the example of one of those? Yes, I can well, I'm really on the spot ass. I know because I wanted to see if it wanted to challenge you, you don't have to it's. Ok, ounces of yourself. What have I agony had that's people like me over
it's more of failure of ease like even hidden run. Oh yeah Enron wrote me, so the abbot only was brilliant, brilliant movie. I can't do that without you. I'm not going to they're, not gonna, hire me to represent Samsung. They will hire me attached to you and then I can write those things and then I can then than the thing I do well can shine through, but I dont get to do that without you, So it's at what I'm saying is more more over the years. I have stopped thinking about like your money, my money, your career micro, to me. It's it's gotten up very clear that there is just all a big mesh now were formed for better or worse so anyways for better, yes, much for better anymore. I said for worse, but I used to do a lot of that. Right,
and as you got busy or busy or busier, you've definitely got busier and busier and busier since we met eleven years ago defiance we work you done, it is probably X. Ten now you have three different tv shows. You produce a lot of stuff that just went up up up. I was at MAX capacity humanity, we're back so Monica when she came into our life. She as on assuming and that its it's a giant fucking trick because of her size to look at Erin go. Oh, she takes up this much space in the room, but what you don't know just about Her- is that she is looking at every crevice in every hole and every alcove in the room and seeing how she could better it, and it is it she does it that you even knowing so she said oh by the way I baby said, and I thought oh cool. She might have some time. I trust her. Let's have a baby sit and then she said- and- and this was in they were all like very not.
Big suggestions, unoccupied innocuous, yet like it was in term hey, I should go your hair for the enemies exactly like it was like. If you need me to schedule anything for you, let me know, and then I was like I do. I do because, because I can't actually get my lines, memorized wit, while having to make this schedule, so I said yeah if you could schedule this next week, while I remember anyway, the point is every that she does is so at a hundred and ten percent, but so she's so not a person that rocks around showing you she has a hundred and ten percent. It's like this, be it's like this wonderful gift. Where you can like no bravado people to do things, is good as you and as efficient the and as quality is you tend to have a lot of the brook bravado either Decker. Her brown have a broader bravado yeah provide
over Broido is when you got that This was all set up for, and that is why we want right, rather than you be more nobody it it's incredible because it sneak up on. and then you realise at least for a lot and horror. I realized is like oh, my fucking God. How did I do any of this without Monica, and it's not it's not just what is really like. You didn't the work you have done. Santiago, color, ass, exponentially but it's not even just how much work I'm talking about going through life like I don't know how the fuck I dealt with you so low before I had a sister wife because having a sister wife, it's like I'm alone, yeah and I'm a lot too. So how did we make our mere our marriage is so much safer and happier with sister wife, I'm
I also mean from a friendship perspective like I don't know that I spent how much time working and on business stuff and that some so lame and leg. My c therapist are probably be like what you want your life to be, but I do but Have some one that intricately we even emotionally. As a friend in and out of business to pleasure, I do. Realize what a whole I had had. I didn't really as how emptier was, but now that it's Monica and weaken like gold or work job together where she's like you, know, writing in producing mom, splaining or or the sag awards, or any of these other projects and then so come home and like talks, you too our aid or watch tassel wrong or watch whatever its I didn't realize how much more fulfilled I was until you came into my life and an overseer yeah A couple more things I like about small. She is a hair of a mermaid. Think technology is really good taste
cloning clause. We share and allows, or are we I heard her apartment, I'm so jealous cause. It was better than it really budget and all oh she's, so steadfast but and without she doesn't scream lawyers so steadfast. Strong, an unqualified it's an incredibly com terrible thing to be around and it makes me feel so safe and I always collar my external hard drive and this is to say nothing about how like fun and funny you are and how I just want to hang out with you on a Saturday anyway. Will your whole All your social time is taken up with Monica. Well, oh, I one hundred number one. If I have social time it's Monica by doing something together with another four at that stage to ensure their armchair is supported by the
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But what I was going to say is by having a very good friend that you're working with it makes all those little things that exist in a vacuum like going to host the sag awards, that's going to take up seven days of your life, and that is just a vacuum that the only purpose of it is work, if not shared with apple that you share your real life, where soviets it makes the process. a process and not just results. Oriented it's something you guys are sharing together and, as you say, you'll go home in your talk, shit about this person or that and now it was something that you did for your life, your friend Brown S, cold air, she's also extremely nurturing holders. Was you say about my number one, we're thing and probably why said from the get go, let's get her out of the thing that I find less attractive and people is people who have a victim.
The identity guy are an she'll, never she doesn't get off and letting you know how put out she is by something which is shit just happens, and it was probably difficult as fuck, but she doesn't seem to get off on like how put out she is which is off we're all work and put out she also where the best things these areas, that Ngos that I was feeling extra sensitive and I said like I think when I asked you about that. Like. How could you do this or because we ask each other a lot we're business partners like? Can you do something, or vice versa- and I said, can you do something and she responded on Marco Polo was like yeah and then I said you know I feel like sometimes you're annoyed with me and like I'm, you know you just fill like put out, and she goes sometimes I do, and you ask me about things. If I'm annoyed, it might just come across like I'm annoyed, but I'll get over. Unkindled might just be annoyed.
They re in the hay living life, no excuse, and I couldn't get into like the. We both have feelings moment that I, gone it because she does yeah. I was probably annoyed and its did start making Rags issues are not using the European Alliance and she also didn't apologized for it, because she knows you dont have to apologise. If you get annoyed right. Well, it's come with a lotta highs. The relationship because it is a very intimate one year yawls but then also been tricky at times to work through. Ok, you started his acquaintances than you became best friends. Then you guys are in a very intimate relationship or your guises. Emotions are commingling and linked to one another's and then yet you have a professional relationship where there is dynamic and dynamic. That's unavoidable, which one person is the boss in one person is not the boss and that's dicey right, but I do know that looking at Monica
There is even say that, though you do your best, you and you do a fantastic job of not making it feel like you're, the boss and you're the boss, but you never use that tool ever well. I don't find it and it's not a tool in my toolbox because there's very large part of me that that knows that I'm not the real boss, but what I am Produce you, may I introduce you as my partner yeah I introduced are sometimes as my writing partner, which gives me a real you go booze, but then, within five seconds, I've blurted out, where more and what I mean by that is that Monaco Rights, and so you are ever let it fully. I always want to build this. My writing partner aims is what, it is like, she writes- and I d say the word well- that this is an interesting story. I guess years
life sort of first started mustn't when I first started doing real stuff for you. You Dax went on a talk, show a pot. Your radio show results and you told a story, and it involved me like very quickly, as you were talking to me, minister, those talking to our baby, sitter and valuable one. You told a story, I think Roy Prime, to get our babysitter. You drive I think, that's what away Ass Stella thing was a thing by plans familiar in you said that, and then I heard it. I listened and I heard it and I told you that it bothered me India, that you referred to me as the baby sitter, but the only reason it bothered me is because you Kristen never referred.
To me, as as part of the stuff tat you only. You always said our friend Monica my friend Monica my external hard drive, my bessie, and you know you, prevent you, even when I'm assist doing assistance for you. You so rarely save the word assistant every now, and then you have to do so. It happens, but it it is. It's not your go to ever so when, when you did it, it rang so much louder. If you had been doing it like, wouldn't have even thought twice about it, but I felt like I'm not another baby. But, and I was I was totally a babysitter bud and what's really great cause you and I have set out, which is so great that you brought it up to me because it could have just been something that was between for the rest has lives, locking steadfast that's what I mean and what we ve figured out in, which is so good to remember, is that
Hey, I was sorry that I that I said something that I made you feel that way, but then I owned my what really going out with me. Had nothing to do with you, I, what entered my it was nanny yeah and then my own personal, go was. I dont want people to think we have nannies like we're, rich people who have nannies, and it was preservation of my own image that made me choose baby sitter cause. That sounds like something you just have occasion that everyone has. Yes, that all Americans are babysitters. Rich people have nannies, and it was all about me We really had. It was not an assessment of use. My own ego in- and I just thought boy be great. If I could remember, When someone says something that hurts my feelings, they might just preserving themselves in. It's really not comment on me. Ass, an agreement I'm trying to get my friend do mushroom? Yes, but it did think it's funny or that I'm trying to get the baby sitter do, but I also from
From from having been in the position of being conscious of Monica feelings. And how do I a fire and also been in the position of being an actor representing themselves on a public platform. You are allowing the audience to see things through your lands and it is a little bit specific. To say how Monica relates to you, as, instead of just a friend the canal say one thing, because this progress is all about. Staying woke down don't in the mom community under any circumstance, think nannies are bad. We have decided not to shame any mom, shame working moms, but having nannies and we dont shame non working moms about having nannies and yes nannies require a little bit more of a budget, but whether or not
we have a babysitter nanny, we dont separate them anymore and, as the like, goodness community of moms, and in an attempt to stay woke, we dont think nanny as a bad word and we never fault anyone for saying they need help with their children. Of true me reactions. One is the Seneca may goes its arms like something rich people decided You have nannies and have their own shame about having any so they decided to be shamed nannies because they happen oh, it's about mom's. A community of months will ok and then the second part of me is the answer: policies that that knows that we have the entire time we ve lived on plan doors we ve had nannies women get in at the same time, that's why you think up your cycles so that everyone can have the baby's at the same time. So they can be this group of women all helping ray the king himself. Nannies are from the get yeah right, John. You know what it is its whether you send your kid to day care. You send your kid to pre school. You have a baby sitter. You have grandma come or you have a nanny, that's a great point, whether
just leave me alone, whether or not you work or you do not work. There is not one. sensible way to raise your children. It takes a village, though whether or not you have a person comes over because a you can have that luxury. Maybe your kid has special needs that he can have the luxury of going to a day care. Other children and you have to have a nanny come over. That is unacceptable. form of raising your children going to a pre school or a day care, because it's like the cost might be cut off. Bet and even if their their long hours. That is an acceptable form of the village that you need to raise your children. We do now in the mom and mom Splaining community fault. Any for having help with their children, whether it baby, sitter nanny or take one of the other person ass in the basement in a good sized cage. You know, like eight feet, life twelve feet and you let them in the morning lay under the children at the UN in the night. You push them back, and that is unacceptable, that only natural gas or actually ok. I got him where we clarified yeah way going. Oh yeah. Oh, it still want to bother me,
you had said nanny given that was also my own shit to I was. I didn't want to be considered any of those things because I probably I have a hang up and I probably felt like I'm not just someone's, be I'm not just a babysitter, I'm not just a nanny, I'm I'm! important here right. Will you actually, what will two things number one, the nannies in the babysitters, our import, the most important rights or I might go where the Harley who would just or who would be considered if anyone is like them and nanny is also does a variety of other things and is definitely the imposed important of our family. But ye work we're joke about all apart. In my estimation, what really falls apart is currently does ensure, because then you everyone has stopped doing what they're doing the writing acting totally, but also, I guess in in that regard
If you are talking about Carly, he would say mice. I was talking to my sister and Bob like that. That is the first wrong sure that well, yes, that's the most descriptive thing for me in her. Is that she's, my states that it's the first relate since India. So for me I did not want the first relationship element to be babysitter nanny to one of the job. And ironically, he didn't leave what this by ironically, the first relationship was, he was somehow felt in his bones: Then he was attracted to you as a person, because you, didn't just say Monica looks like she could you know not let the house burned down You said Monica is really interesting. I like her personality a lot. I would because I know this about Dax, and you know this adapts. The first five years
I hated him. He didn't want any of my friends to come over and I was like what my friends can come over and I do not want any but you didn't know that wasn't in your inner circle. So For me, too. have seen him gravitate towards some one who was in his inner circle was so shocking and he said because age in my bones feel rival EU kept saying I have a really good feeling about Monica my goin right, largely I have a really good feeling referring attach around Roy. I was growing feeling and my group would have liked it does have a really nice boobs, which is why we can talk about it. This is if, when it when it becomes a fact, it's late, will you be like I'm sure of it, though the most open, unicorn I must tell you, for anybody who is listening and and brings assigns to the live, shows that they love Monica. You can't I'm probably gonna get you think
listen am I doing I'm meeting you re out, I oh no, no! I broke up. I said I have permission, talk about your shape as your boots? Easier? Ok, good! I don't actually in the way whatever think is happening under their under their energies. ten times as well as workers, because I saw Monica take her brow off once and her boobs went up. I couldn't believe what I was saying this is, how you always perfidious travelling them down is worrying because otherwise they all editor and while they wonder, I go up and they go out. they want their curious. I got a mind of their own and it's their ineradicable. This shows all the circles layered upon circles. There all perfect shit there, just beautiful anyway. That's why we can joke about Monica, because this is a fact
suggesting about our kids are short, their short. How good and bad I am yeah exact origin exactly, but I was always kind of taken aback as I've never heard. Him say that about anyone he had, which I'm usually the emotional being that has a good feeling about somebody- does have very good character assessment right off the bat. And he said I have a really good feeling about Monica. So what's ironic is that he just say she looks like a trustworthy baby. Sitter he's He said in so many words. She looks like she's an inch actual that we can hang with and be stimulate bye? She looks like someone that we can trust. She looks like someone that we want to have around So it is weird that you put her in the position of ABC. It accepts dont, even actually how it started for because we do you like to get real here very tricky thing to navigate as Someone does become more and more vital to everything. Now she is the goal
So this by guessing the producer and the editor that to an editor that is going to as she takes that on she's gonna have to leave something else behind she's, only one human being and evolution when things are so emotional, is not dissimilar to the evolution and happens marriage or any relationship or best friends. One goes away to college wednesdays at home to party all these things in India. think that a wall just work out on its own it just happened. Yeah just happened just happened last month. because I was definite You feeling like. I was second tier to this party asked and part of me when yeah, but we have are because that is a very professional gig that is taking off
the seven forty seven like you, ghost doers, acknowledge that you started this podcast this year and how many people are listening to it, and I was feeling like it wasn't like. You were not doing things for you, it wasn't, like things were falling to the cracks. Let me be very clear: cassettes again, not harmonica works, but I wondered stuff was getting taken. Care of, and maybe the personal stuff was starting to suffer We even know that maybe a little bit by it was the very very small stuff and it was. I am an emotional being that acknowledges when someone else is at high capacity or at at MAX, pass city and I was set in saying that I couldn't ask you for as much- and I don't like- two over extend. So I knew autonomous Corina she's in the middle of editing. That episode- and I know she has a deadline because at this has happened today than that recording doesn't happen to me like I'm I'm in on most of it so
partially that I felt like I couldn't have as much of her as I wanted, and by the way some of that was also social. I couldn't have as much social time with you as I wanted and cause. I depend Anita like download funny things during the day or like tat about things that happen. and then there was also an aspect of I know a lot of what goes on here and try to be no help wherever I can buy there is also a lot that I don't know, and I because I was working this summer and you guys were like hitting up a peak. You were like at your black diamond skiing hill this summer of this podcast. Was coming home and you guys we're having like a thousand inside jokes. I didn't know about you guys we're talking about like in credibly interesting experts you had on that were some of my favorites too, but I didn't know what you are referencing and I would come home I too, here it after work and feel excluded and feel like
doubt, even though that was not at all your intention, and I knew it wasn't your intention, but I was definitely feeling left out and and figuring out how not to play a victim but how to say to you guys, feeling really sensitive, like I'm left out well and what happened quite The key is that for two years you guys had business together for two years monarch and I have no business together when she's never done anything in my business world and now yes, now we had the same thing that you guys had where you guys would be an issue for six days in you'd. Have all these jokes about some weird eighty who did some weird? I had no idea what was going on now, flipped and I wasn't prepared for like my empty nest. For my car, like I wasn't
yeah, I see had been such a huge huge part of my being for for five years and then I I felt her grow in this direction of actually getting the things that not only did she walked, but I knew she was qualified for like now being an executive assistant or being an assistant or just someone's writer, but writing for herself or producing podcast, or you know briskly. Live shows, and I guess I just wasn't ready. It was like my my little girl went to college and my mom got a job all at the same time, and your wife was seven and my wife was having enough liberally by everyone to college my mind that in job and my wife is having an affair, and it was just a lot for me yeah as LA for me. So last month I definitely had like I had to have a sit down, both of you about my feelings about it. In saying I want your podcast to be so good.
won't you guys have this huge business, but I just I feel left out and I also feel like I am now going to have to hire someone new because I or work with someone new. In addition, as I know, you can't handle as much- and I know I need major needs, my story God or the even the needs of the business Matt yeah do, you think, gotten better, since we talk yes, of course, especially when you said that funny thing about: yes, sometimes I'm gonna to be annoyed, and I was like She is just that's. What is certainly back to the beginning of just having resetting everyone's expectations of what is going to happen even in that does emotionally, like yeah, I'm really busy. So I might not be super smiley when, when you asked me to do something and then that you know Ike,
I something I say all the time to death yeah. I can't be super happy when I come home from a sixteen hour day, you're just going to have to let me lay on the pillow and cuddle me while I fall and you were saying that to me- and I was like get- I was understanding, even though I now is also understanding what tax deals with me when I'm overworked yet aren't I mean when we have our conversation? It we had. We had a dialogue, A debate during on AIDS is meeting yeah, but it took a day because the folks I brought it abroad that I felt that I was at capacity and that we need to make some changes, and I had this expectation of how that conversation, I'm gonna go based on knowing you so well, and then it did not go that way. It went in a in a perfectly human way, but I I was six. I was
this expecting something different and you could tell, but my feelings were her and I needed a process and it didn't. We had already talked about the fact that we were both to bid in like maybe within this business of the Bell shepherds we needed to higher someone new yeah and you are probably expecting me to go. Oh, so we just need to hire someone you to get your needs man. I think it's funny cause at that moment, I was. You were expecting me. Be the mom and I wasn't I was being the daughter right yet we have here is so layered yeah. So then so then it did not go great in my opinion, and then that was a terrible twenty four hours or roster really rough day. For me, you ever so yeah. I was as for again all the layers, one my best friend is mad at me. Also, I'm I guess, I'm losing my job. No, Wasn't man I just needed to process, because I wasn't expecting such J. I guess
I guess I know I was. I was expecting such a blunt request. I wasn't wanting to hear it cause. I was afraid of the same thing happening with the feeling that there is so much happening. I think you are probably expecting and ask for permission in a boundary, that's hard to admit, but I think maybe yeah those parts Does it wasn't? I don't raised as like? Hey I'd like that, it was phrases aid. This is gonna happen yeah, but I don't. I don't think you in my revisionist history because of the way my feelings were hurt. I want to pretend like Monica phrased, it really boldly, and I don't know if I'm being really honest that she did. I think, She phrased it very respectfully, like someone who was my partner, which she is. She didn't phrase it like an assistant, because she has no reason to an idle.
No, that I would have reacted for permission any better any better, because- either way it's I get less Monica. I guess I'm gonna rap all this up to say that one of the weave listed several amazing qualities about Monica, but one of them is that she knows or value people should another value. She will bring shit up to us. She will say I want this. I want that and sometimes it's meant favourably and sometimes there's push back and it's funny it it. We're leaves a great quality if people have fear. of stating their needs and being honest, it so worth getting through the difficult hurdle. We'll burn a brown says its eight seconds of discomfort when you ask for I think that you know you deserve, or you give hard news and that's the thing about Monica. I dont think that time. She's asked for something or stated a need: she's, not known entirely, logically and intellectually, that she deserves it. Yeah Rousseau's reach
but you, human, too, will get into her own. Their way it this this I'm glad we talked about all this because it does seem like we do get it. I'm. So well that I'm glad people know that, like they're still work that happens in these relationships like no that's what I love about, what you're podcast preacher is that people in that our listening now that leg moloch on I have shit too, but we do. the work it out, but if you're, not you not immune to those things, just cause you're, you try you you try and you work through it. You know, and all of these, maybe even in relation to alienate old people are wonderful in both have great intentions there, s going to be conflict to be growth, there's gonna be friction and that that is a fact and we can avoid it. So we have the tools to deal with it as it arrives. Then you have to stay vulnerable. Last thing I want to talk about is because it is good place weak wisely. I get to see because I've seen you now have dozens of jobs and
You generally like you're, you're, a good egg on, sat you get along with people. You have fun and most your work environments that I've seen, but I would say this in particular as giving you. I would say that your hi of all highs from this area. Irate show your on, while I love my dad, make sure the best there ever was the key. On the show are amazing, I say kids to says, like the young group of Jamila and Manny and will and Darcy there. So so wonderful and Mark Evan Jackson, who also has a podcast about the good place. If you love podcast, are given. Jackson has one that does exclusively good place, topics in interviews, our writers and actors, but, and then too, who has truly become one of my best friends. It's just a it's such a lot we place to work, working on a show that talks about what it means to be human and how we're all supposed to share this earth.
and how are we supposed to get along its simple. If I feel like the show is important yet like what TED says, it's wrapped in a giant fart joke. So it's incredible digest the ball. You know it's like. I opted for true, it is its Essex lesson wrapped in a far joke and it's so it's so fun to do that. Work, and I also I love the character cause. It's like the opera, that of me, I'm always struggling to figure out how what someone thinks and where their emotional, the picture is and Eleanor as the polar opposite, and she you know just so rude to people sometimes because they say you're playing me now no she's kind and her heart too as she is. She doesn't want the worse for people, but she never got the training of how to work play well. With other shoe survivor, she grew up in a shitty scenarios. Should apparently I learned how to survive and then under all that is a good person and what happens this season? Obviously we lids always is always so probably hard to promote.
Show because they're all errors will this season. I will tell you this and this this is gonna air, the weak it comes out. So I don't feel like this is too many spoilers, but so our show has, if you haven't, got it yet it does. I would recommend, starting the beginning their quick episodes, but they did. The show does reinvent reinventing without its minutes at the end, if that at the end of each season it reinvents itself, there are major plot twists. It's like you know, lost where there's just so many different plot twist, but although some further cause you would never be able say this, but I would even say get through that first seas. regardless, because the first season sets up this incredible world here and there. I just think it gets exponentially better as you get in here too, and then, when I know season three. What I love about this season is that season, one in two took very
very, very, very big ideas and turn them on their head in the plot. Twists were very big, make sure, as our creator committed to having every end of at the sewed be like an end of season. Season under crazy cliffhanger there, season. We thought that, how are we gonna then flip it again on its head there only so many sides to the cube. What did was made. The most important problems on the show, increase ugly, tiny and emotional- and they are so much- I dare I say, more resident and more important than the first who sees ends big where which you're dealing with you much Heaven and hell the first two seasons, and I know how you get a problem that bigger than that, but what he did was make all the problems emotional, the season, and because of that, there are some moments. That are I mean I just appear insides out in it in a great way, in a funny way and in an awful way, and just it
has been table. Reads were half the writers and around just bawling. Has real debt? Oh well for the I'm, not gonna say which one. But there was one where, yeah. I had some information to deliver and I was crying. The cutest thing was Darcy. Dead, like nothing to do with that scene. Fucking lost it asked it, and then she had a happy seen right after that and could not get through it. So it started with our sea being so moved by the scene. I had done because it was you know it, it was got wrenching and then she I was crying so hard drive, her JANET instructions. Robot and she's a robot know the whole room. And was laughing, and then she was laughing at the fact she was crying and then everyone else sort of crop it was. It was a mess. It was a mass of a table. Read the executives were crying, it was great, but it was. I think that proves how connected
both are to the characters. These aren't as people you're watching, do things unscreened you're, not watching these physical beings move around you picturing yourself as them you're feeling the emotions they haven't. I think that's what the goal with any show is well. I have had the experience where I am just dying inside for you and she d to kiss, which I think is a real testament to the show, because I Won't you guys to be together so bad. I want you guys a kiss and roll around and look in each other's eyes and really quick. Its we once and I think our are experienced, were I've or you ve, wanted me because somebody really bad on screen. Remember this who there was a scene and parenthood where men Kelly and I were about to kiss it took for ever really I get out of here like this. This agonizing momentary knew they were going to kiss. You were watching, and then you go fucking,
there are already like we were once monsieur. You turned to me as if I am sway over it was like fucking Everybody was expertly done I trailing in you and Manka cause. I did. I wanted you guys to share. That knows no fun. It's that's come to me kind of when I know the thing we ve done works is that I've separated that at his Eleanor and I want Eleanor to be really bad with cheeky. I think it's kind of a weird test You can get the thing is executed. We asked I have an episode this season at that time, for your. I can teach this. That is, I never seen writers take a joke from season one and spanned on it to give it an entire life that is again for done its head and put it story line that Jason Mendoza has hoopla is plagued by Manny. They took a tiny passing joke from season one, they wrote an entire.
So about it you do not see it coming and it is one of the fucking funny things I have ever seen done on television. It makes me do you know? No, are you my idea is so fucking anyway. So just you know why you like the show watch it It will be worth at this season. You have you shouldn't stopwatch arena, pretty sure, don't sound like don't stop watching zeros and establishes a well listen, love buggy, who also you're leaving right now, but I do want to publicly acknowledge both Monica. I would probably like, too, that there is normally export without you without you launching this show or with the dangerous people having you and then the work you have done in our instagram account of making life stories and talk about an impress. You ve given Monica nigh a real dream and probably our favorite eight hours of every week, so
I love you and thank you for giving us this has given us so many things I little babies. Stupor carried a Scot. I love you. Thank you. but then I am having trouble Gaza is alive. You slow you down yeah easy evolve and rob your unnecessary parts and robs a piece of work? And she now we're even he's in hand Wabi? Why that's it? Our kids got Vittorio that, as a result of our girls, cholera lobby was whose Sherwood mindsets borderline piece of shit, who says a hundred percent I love you. I let go to your next thing and now my favorite part of the show the back check with my soul, mate Monica bad men Monica tat its factor.
I mean this is probably the most mount of facts. You ve had a cheque for yourself and there are now almost none at all. So I dont know by trust the fact chequered checking the fact checkers check how much goodwill gesture grass Jack Jack, yeah I did I did I did it, you data, you did a good job, Newsday right out of the fact that, although interested agenda, you wanted more facts. I dare you shouldn't storms amount. There wasn't a fact. Heavy episode was an emotional heavy episode was girls time. You have you, don't worry you you were you were present. Oh and joy was yeah, I'm sure I was too, you weren't seems now you betray the rare occasions,
I listen to the spot. Guess I was throw up about ten minutes in with my own voice, my enough enough actual sound. The voice or wages- maybe that's hard to be around yourself, you're. Alright, let's began with me. Oh phobia, Obray me Sophronia. Yes, me Sophronia. It also known as the Rhine Hansen disease. He should get that is named after him. Why glue get exactly an like the Tommy answer guire. Thank you referred to all of these on previous backtrack. Parkinson's disease, these Parkinson's disease, Mr Bill Parkins, no person and what was the on meal as fact check. We talk about a law about
children working also named after a person blanket that's right, but I think let this the first sign or in co sign or of the petition to have, so horny here permanently call. Ryan Hansen's disease. I am Hansen's cornea. Our Ryan Hansen Syndrome share that sounds, are age ass I just now, yeah we gotta it never work at sizzler because he has our agenda. I kiss me so much chewing at the workplace die so yes, amused, Sophronia is oh, it also has It already has an also known, as we can add, we can add our age s into the mix, but it's also known as selective sound sensitivity syndrome, assets thus Ass just got dying. The fourth sour selective, sound senses. Censored
active sound sensitivity syndrome. You know it's funny is even in saying it. You make all kinds of sounds with your mouth at me. Sophronia people would not like your be called come up with the name of that word whereby they would not be able to tell anyone disease that they had at. Maybe it's as if it was like the name of the diseases they could never tell you weren't, although I but they don't mind when his throne, obnoxious chewing you're right. There's no way. bothers roused myself in some beef jerky when a nice slicer tried it, but it starts with the trigger often and oral sound. The noise someone makes when they eat breathe, does unfortunate, eat, breathe, chew, yawn or whistle. Sometimes, a small repetitive motion is the cause fidget jostling wiggling of the foot. If you have a mild reaction, you might feel anxious unkind
about the urge to flee, discussed crying one of you ever ever more said: Myra Rage, anger, hatred, panic, fear, emotional distress, a desire, a desire, kill or stop. Whenever is making the noise gap skin crawling and suicidal thoughts This has ever been anyone's defence in a murder trial. The day like had to kill their husband, because you are a task. did not make me so Tonia if this had not been included as a genetic marker and or twenty three meeting. I would say this condition was utter bowl. I know you idea the oligarchy. Now you just really intolerant new dismiss plug your fucking years, yeah even which is interesting because big cause. I have a fake disease alcoholism, but you do
Hi intolerance for things that you a tribute to being biochemical work like annoyances like in putting a chair through a door the wrong way, like you believe that you have a hyper sensitivity to the plan to not being able to go along with a plan Albert and these biochemical. I think it's my you said no other it's my nurture. I've said I'm like. I think I'm alpha by biochemistry like supposed to battle. Yes arrives, yeah you, you did say that in this very specific episode. That's why it's not my brain as I did this
today right, but I said no step doubts. I said I have four step dads and that's why I don't like being a paddle part of a bad plan. I dont think I genetically am predisposing not like plans, but you YE scientist not liking plans but being high burner sensitive in those situations and not being able to because nobody like Christian was saying nobody likes being applied, were bad plan, but your extra anger and those situation you a tribute to something more than the I just all I'm trying to be his very clear, so yeah comes a t say I do think. My biochemical, not like him being either to strangers is the s. I think I will still claim that that's in the mix yeah yeah, but they're not being a part of people's bad plans. I think it's just all nurture from childhood. Ok, but its. It may make sense,
right, dams, overlap, young ones in authority, I'm not the authority, yes here, but also, let me just say I hate those parts of myself and I'll ignored So when I would say to someone missile funnier, I get for yourself. I am also saying to myself get over yourself. Dax stand on the fucking footprints on the ground for the metals yeah, but I'm only myself account Bombs and my shitting is right, but you're out Oh, but I'm saying too, Smith as not real is maybe not fair We know we know, because on twenty three may so yeah sort of mood bet you're right. I would be wrong and I can imagine what they go through when they hear someone.
I mean the lollipop organ awry and I hear and that's gonna be the there's gonna, be the main focus of the conversation amongst so to deal with the apex of his experience with this disease is, I think, our friend Jes, really I'm exacerbates his condition. Sure yeah I like it, you like when he gets. No, I like just as well, noise. Is there there's a lot of em Jesse makes a lot of we're mouth. No, I thought you were making one right now and no sound, because before it has even yeah airlines that yeah me to square one. Restaurant is a few blocks west, a fountain in Vermont, and he wants to go their view, but few blogs worst of Burma on foam
right purview. Ok, you said the first global empire was the pact's Romana Roman empire. Well, does what he said. What are you? What are you trying to? What do you want to or what are you saying? Well, I want to say that the Greeks was or an empire prior to that and said there were assyrian empire prior to that, but this term packs that went packs, Rome Monica, I think and then went packs Britannica and now it's Pax Americana. That's all! I'm specifically saying that there's been three times were they ve labelled dynasty packs, and that was the first of the three disarm clear. Ok, but you said the first global empire. Usa,
My Mongolian now Portugal actually is is was the first global imo abroad as they have failed to the new world. You out, the Portuguese established the first global maritime and commercial empire under the leadership of Henry the navigator in the fifteenth century. the radio show that I reference that you are on that you call me baby sitter, all your vows Jason analyses show a wise guy, so I dont know if that shows archived, but people could make you go back and find it. I wonder it was an exam. Radio is normal. Daily show was an podcast seven. How easy would be defined Re Anna Helen, stick around, but I mean I found a couple days later, oh right at least lasted a couple days. That's good
on your there for a couple days: yeah! Ok! So do I, like others for a second, the stereotype conversation that we were having a bow when you're in ITALY and making all zone some like that cause you were we were. Are you That Americans are more likely to imbue stereotypes on everyone else and make up those songs and whatever all those things, and you are saying, no, all the other everyone does. I, and I think you are right. I think every every country has stereo types of other people, but ironically the american stereo type is one that is loud and air again to end thinks and entitled and think They belong every way, arguably american right. So, ironically
I'm sure you do it was. Was the stereotype sure? So that's interesting most me how bugs you know. I love trading and stereotypes. such a shorthand, don't say that you can say whatever you want, but I hope that's not true that I, like certain types. Yeah. I like I'm here. I think it's find a girl, like, yeah men generally make the mistake of trying to solve their wives problems instead of just listening to their problems. Like stereotype events useful, we can get at this problem that is pretty ubiquitous now we could acknowledge that. Certainly twenty percent a manner some number of men don't do that, but it is very common among man to treat problems like that with their wives, man than men, hedging. Those had dramatic growth,
been all over the world men, your speaking specifically of american men, so I don't know that I only know American. I only have these conversations with America. So that's who you are referring to in this conversation shows what I've got. Imagine is a global phenomenon. I bet men think that's all men, they think that's what they're wiser asking them to do is to solve their problems when they talk about a problem like hell. There are many Roma work men year, oh she's telling me because she wants me to solve this and are not good edges. Bein empathetic listening to the problem, commissioner, baby with them. Knowledge and why they feel bad women are great at doing that with one another yeah I dont know if its cultural on not I I would probably venture to say that its more cultural than you think, but regardless still,
typing. The least marginalize group is not your right, not that big of a deal, but when you apply stereotypes all these people, when the stereotype is being used against them all the time. It's well, I don't look, there's there's, there's negative stereotypes, clearly there's some that are totally innocuous. I like the innocuous ones, people in the MID West, where tee shirts, when its forty five degrees out in spring, because they think it feels like ninety, Well, not everyone does that, but that is definitely a thing. If you travel through the Midwest around, may you going to see people with their convertible tops down when it's forty five, I feel good about saying, but the stereotype- I don't think that's a stereotype. I think that's the different, I think just having an observation about a group of people is not or an individual observation.
whenever it is, is not the same thing as as this a nation wide stereo type that people use against people, I don't I've never heard that about the MID west. That's not a thing that nine now most stereotypes of ethnic groups, I know, would but lots of them about Asians are good at math. Jewish people argue with Money again, Indians are greatly computers. I don't know, there's a million stereotypes that are positive, drag it still all made up to put people in a box and I'm not gonna computers. So the girl you MA, am I not very good at all? Now I don't like it even if its positive, because it's not it's not true as a true to everyone and also can have an effective like. I should be this, but
nah, but it all came out to say, though, that then you can't do anything. You can't say that our people in Kentucky have a cultural pride. You can't say that what would they do the truth? they were settled by generally people with us subsistence mode. That was hurting people who heard have a certain culture knows. We belong to Kentucky and you can explain why- there's ban in Kentucky or more family feuds that have ended in homicide than theirs. the nation combined so there's explanation, for it involves some stereotyping in its use. It would be a lie to pretend that's not happening that there's, not some. another phenomenon, its existing, my knowledge and that's not being used against anybody. No one's pudding, no one's like oh you're from Kentucky, oh you of
I'll drop pride like? No one is doing now. Listen. Why don't you be specific that you don't like stereotypes? There are the boy you're saying, there's a visit. That's what I'm saying like Whitworth, smart enough to deal with the new answer when its negative in the productive and when it's not all, but for me but- and I think a stereo type is different- then observing something about a group of people or people are King observations is different than using that observation to lump a whole bunch of people and to one thing, the object. It is a lot of Indians in the United States work in computers, and that is real because that's why they came here and that's why they were able to come here with our space and get visas and stuff. So that is true and that's a fine
duration, but then to take it to the next level and say Indians are good at computers. I went way too far with their about. I was on the top. I was just trying to think of positive ones. I dont think anyone seen Indians are good at computer bs disproportion An amount of the Indians at her in America are greater, can be Goin over that reason. A large percentage of filipino females are in the country are nurses. That was something that they decided to invest in as a valuable career path that they focused on. So now we have a disproportionate amount of Filipino
Oh nurses, yeah, I was just gonna, know cause you were talking about your sense of justice when discussing Christians like asking you to help her and how you feel like the colonel was writing, and I have the same thing I was just saying. I just wanted to commiserate with you in and say that I have the same thing: yeah yeah, but I work inadequate near where nobody can you drill down specifically- and I mean I I wonder- of yours in eyes- although the same thing is also slightly different, I'm sure it mine, is about getting credit, yeah and specifically not getting credit when it's more than that,
It's not like. I need credit and all scenarios, it's that if I'm not getting credit for something I've done, it feels like a big and justice. I work on that alike. As I know, it's crazy- and I know that it's that her way of looking at the world and people you love, is better yeah, yeah and the other thing is. It uses the type of person I just took favours all the time there. consume them. Never met anyone, it's more willing to do a favor for somebody yeah, you call her, out something you want to get too Ryan to be on your thing. I shall do anything shall write a letter. She does it for the short time shall call people to help us get gas on Instep should
anything our friend want. You know a dog out of her house at ten o clock at night and she's. I guess I'll come over, go get the dog at you. You know, like so farmers like I do recognise for herds all just flowing in an outer reactor, and everyone else's favour is very much a collective yeah. For me, this is not a thing specific to her, for my stuff, with horror is much less than myself and other people. Because of that yeah, but in general I have that issue and I think part of it has to do with like in comedy yours,
Civic point of view is your commodity. Is how it's your currency at all? It's how you climb up the ladder, how you fall off of it. So if you have some thing an end, you see that its working for somebody else it feels like that was mine and whatever, but it's also silly and it's very possessive and not an and also wrong. You might is right deeper than there too, with her she's, the more laws above the two of us by far like America likes her more than they like me. So I also think when, like she's saying my words at her to you, what you're saying my point of view in people love, it will. This isn't fair, that's my point of yet you love it when it comes out of her mouth and you dont, like you, want to it is not true, though, that's the thing and that's my thing to yap. I want everyone delight
yeah. I like they're, like her yeah, so gonna happen for us. She so likeable That's all I'm to using the demagoguery of aliens now took. I now did a lover. Maybe ok, that's! Ok! That's the truth. Judges uniquely likeable their skills she owned in the interview should like. I can't write you guys, cannon other thing: I'm sparkly, yeah yeah I think we stay in our language would be great, think you're lane is not like a boy. Thank everyone likes you. I think everyone likes you thanks. That's all I can. I can. I.