« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Whitney Cummings

2020-03-02
Whitney Cummings (Whitney, Two Broke Girls, Chelsea Lately) is an American stand-up comedian, actress, producer, writer, director, and podcaster. Whitney sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss her time in Al-Anon, her need to people please and the first time she met Dax at a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Dax asks about her workaholism and Whitney talks about growing up in an isolated environment. The two talk about the pros and cons of roasts, manifesting your fears and Monica discusses her new medical condition in the fact check.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome other muslim armchair expert, I'm Dan Shepard, who joined by Maximus Mouse? How you do I'm here, that's enough sometimes sometimes where we have a very, very fund yesterday, Whitney Cummings Whitney is a stand up. maybe, in an actress producer, a writer, a director Anna Podcast three nor from Whitney to wrote girls which she created maid of honor and the female brain. Her podcast is called good for you with Whitney Cummings urge everyone to check it out, but also like to remind people that we are going to be live in LOS Angeles on April. Fourth, so if you like to come, see us party down, please go to armchair expert pod dot com and follow the link to buy some tickets. We'd love to see out there. Please enjoy Whitney Cummings we are supporting by mine body. Monica did you know, there's a super convenient way to book, fitness classes and wealth. appointments that we gotta tell everyone about. I do
I use it. All. The time was the last thing you book don't mind body mass size ass. I was in a nice miles, gash was at nice relaxing restorative or both oh, my god, what a mind body makes it easy to discover and book everything from yoga boot camps haircuts to massages, even when you're travelling you can find them. studios, salons inspires wherever you are in all their schedules are in one place, I'm gonna use it as a travel in a couple weeks. I don't know whether massage moon nails did My bodies mission is to help people live happier, healthy lives, and we know that no two wellness journeys are the same. So whatever makes you feel your best the mind body app can help you find it down. Load the mind body Apt day at mind, body dot I owe slash Dax, that's mind body, I owe slashed acts, we are supporting. By best fiends look, we all need break every now and then, but why not keep your brain active of all you relax, that's my version of relaxation.
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air poor and it really just made that time flies. It really makes its it by now. Best means has thousands of levels already with new levels: events in characters added every month, it's ours, a fun right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over one hundred million downloads and tons of five star reviews. Best Viens is a must play download, best means free on the apple, app store or Google plague. That's friends without the are best fee he's ok, so I was late and I'm very. I'm embarrassed in as I was being late. I was thinking because I feel this kinship with you. I'm one of the great projector right I didn't everyone is like me, but I really Thank you and I are quite similar in so many ways. So if I had gotten here- and I was you in in the host- wasn't there- whom I would immediately go
but he was on time when gonna Paltrow was here, I would start going through all the people I e. The way I did the holy was. I was correct to me. I actually side as a testament to how close we are a good like if he felt comfortable, taken care of himself and whatever situation, had to do in Hogan Whitneyville understand to me it made me go, he doesn't think I'm some kind of narcissistic egomaniac and he knows all be able to handle it will that's that's a really, however, and loud so girl, I think in the past, before I was in any kind of recovery, I thought I was the only person and with anything to do only I even had nothing going on. I just thought I was the most important person or are we all day, and I also because I was such an adrenaline, junkie and codependent. I did so many things out of obligation that my schedule was just ridiculously pact. Also
to keep busy Yo Yo Yo, so I would have had something scheduled to the minute when we were done when I don't I'm not delusional like that anymore. Well, I'm really glad that that was talk as in a weird, where was, I was like I'm fucking scrambling to get out of the house and, unlike you know, I think, Whitney. Understand this. I think my life right now is pretty much were. Hers was when she had a talk show into sitcoms on the air. Like issues may be too. So much better than I had loved me beg your ads, reducing it out at me now yet to me, I was sitting here and I was like a cat. I feel like this is so much harder on the person whose late, like I fine, we were talking. I made a bunch of phone calls. I had a wonderful time in this court Narnia hand. I was like I'm glad he's late. This perfect. I can collect my thoughts. I gotta did a little many meditation, so you do me a favor, oh good. What version of recovery are you
I'm an airline you all my god I want my. Will you take my wife? No, no. She actually had gone when we first started dating, which was very wise, but she's doesn't need much shit because pretty healthy annoyingly. So I now she's she just its every time. I've met her and I'm such a fan. Anyway. She doesn't vibrate on that sick free. and see that we just now. You do know to me, and I mean it's. We ve done this long enough. You walk into a room and you just the most. You know divorce. first narcissistic the order sick person. Like one beaver secure, megalomania boy. Where are they everyday? I see her she's. Ok, we have a great opposition them like there were no Oh yeah, six sparks there no trauma bonding or we will drive and we were driven on Sunday to a friend's party like on the West side and we're on the four or five and it was in owes a parking lot who were sitting there for a while.
said: oh honey. You know I realize this new trick like if I start going through a list of all the things. I am grateful for about the actual com sitting. Then yeah. It really helps with the annoyance of traffic on migrant. These seats counterbalances icon. You can stop I'm not trying to work myself out of place of annoying annoyance. That's right! Now, it's like the big deal or sit in my god. What is it like to just reserves? Self contained she's so, like I've seen her before be alone weird thing to say, but we were going somewhere with some mutual friends and she was in a parking lot and she was just kind of waiting and I had eyes. then, when I waiting I'm on my phone, I'm sure you do things like. I gotta be productive president, and you know when she was just kind of looking around her, and I was like I wonder what that's like I used to like one when I was critical of it. My way of doing things was the only way I wouldn't described her out to lunch.
hey hey. Are you annoyed by all those who pay attention in fighting for so long? I conflated like being neurotic and consumed by fear itself as being like interesting, your legs, and you have to be in some kind of agony to be interesting. Anyone who's not just take ways on my level. I have to imagine that you have assessed that it was the fuel to your productivity. Now lay out, like I gotta be this person so that I'm not this person, and I need to accomplish all these things to be seen as that person yeah I'm just completely unconscious, and- and I have no idea who I am or what I want- and I'm just in this sort of work- a hallmark addiction of just adrenaline at all. car yeah, yeah I'll, and that just don't have to look at myself feel any feelings right, So how often we you gotta to I'm just move,
kind of far away, so I'm I'm. It's actually been interesting cause I'm gonna new meetings, which is a new level of Alan on recovery being around like new people and a new building like, but they are not doing the meanings right leg. The like these announcements are not the announcements that we do it. My other meeting its like a new level of looking at my rigidity and like control addiction. Mc Nutt, like these people are recovered enough, which is the next level of Allah, not a criticism in judgment, but I would say twice a week: yeah now I have a loose understanding of elm and even though I grew up with my mom's, sometimes going down, but in general, are you you're trading kind of code dependency in their co dependency, which is such a vague term, has taken so long to understand? People cannot really rap there had around what that means. Rail ain't, so
insidious it's so vague for so long and remember the first thing I heard in an hour and on meeting cause. I thought you gotta Eleanor. Could someone else's drink yeah, you know to meet on an end. I first went in programme got with so many you know on recovered alcohol x in my family also learn very early and Alan on that. In order for alcoholism to be present, alcohol doesn't have to be present. That's a really good distinction to make my mind is a lot of what I saw growing up. I saw drink gang rape, but I didn't see a paper bag over a whiskey bought. All you know was wine and don't you know, but it must also none of the Roma genetic like sex in Asia of it. But there was a lot of absurd. Of organizing, an obsessive, controlling and everything has to be perfect and we have to know present ourselves to our There is a certain way and you're sure it has to be tucked in just perfectly. You know: that's alcoholism, you know, but I just associated alcoholism. Without the hall beer cans, whisky bottle and like a bomb
the street falling down this totally totally, which we have euro plenty about two, but so that really kind of is what blew my mind because also a lot of you, no great highly functioning alcoholic parents are graded hiding act alcohol? As a kid, you just see something change at five: thirty you're saying something in someone's, not hearing you re, someone's picking you from school on time, like you don't associated with alcohol when you're a care, and no fact you know what this is the weirdest thing. I number one. My father went to treatment. I was, I think, thirteen and everyone. like oh goodies. Finally going- and I had this weird feeling of like oh, I didn't put those dots together like I thought, my Father was unstable and stuff, but I wasn't real like and we went to the bar all day long on Saturday as the three of us, my brother, nine him, and I felt very embarrassed that all the adults
realized? He was an alcoholic and I was somehow in the dark about it at the just a weird reaction that was like the only takeaway wasn't like. Oh, he was going or use now call just like on embarrassed. Everyone knew this, but me, and I didn't know Explain any of that, and I just now why you? No! No! I love it. You just said that, because that's such a big part of why it took me so long to go to Al Anon cuz. I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what was going on with other family members and stuff and there's this pride and denial. You know because they called a cunning and baffling disease. It's the disease, it tells you you don't have a disease rights or the person that has it doesn't, even though they have Ed Ryan. They do this great job of convincing you. They don't have an everyone. Just physical fool, stupid you it's almost like like an affair and a family where no one knows, but someone knows, and it also everyone knows like everyone else. Something is all that I outlined on his very addicted, sometimes to protecting
a delusion. Sometimes the Alan are addicted to the alcoholic staying out all, I can say, lose them a meaning. It gives them adrenaline liked you now they say, there's like an island on checklist and when I first went through public offshoots you now it's we feel alive and time. crisis. We derive some meaning out of cleaning up the mess and then pouring them to drink and then waking them up in the morning and getting them dressed and pulling them together, and you know there's also this. I learned a couple years now and I'm like oh my gosh. This is how I drive my self esteem by surrounding myself with people that are such mess. As you picked a perfect profession dig out. I mean early comparatively,
I have my shit together? Well, yeah yeah. I know somebody people to fix. That's. Why wasn't any calmly Glenn lesson that becomes its own addiction? So for me I just thought of addiction. I thought drugs, alcohol, drugs, alcohol there, so many addictions there aren't really in the Zeit guys control is an addiction. Adrenaline is an addiction. Talks relations drama is an addiction. A lot of people have a knee jerk reaction to like sex addiction. Gallagher, let's just an excuse, so people don't have to own what they did not like. They can still on what they did and explain the whites and addiction, and my very simple kind of definition, is if you're using this thing to regulate your emotion in you're doing it. Actually stop. That's an addiction is that's your method that you make something your medicine? Yes, that's an addiction, and I think that the sex addiction thing you know is always gets it it just. I think that just triggers
All. That was a hard word. I feel it sucks in June, in general, dies Redding Sex addiction, you know, is if I was very threatening to me for a very long time, because it just like you're gonna, tell me someone's on the control of them. I just I grew up around people not being able to control themselves and when I talk about sex addiction, when people may have that reaction, unlike I'm, not gonna, push yeah. I know what that is like you need to be in denial about this, but a lot of it in learning about sex addiction. I went to I went into that area for while I dont identifies the sex attic, but I, ensure medic, love and intrigue. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, I'm a huge intrigue intrigue. I, when I heard someone explain Isaac, oh my god, when you kind of have these fantasy, miss censure relationships with people that you either work wealth or you know I know of and its away to kind of this sort of hoodwink yourself into participating in society when you're yeah, also business aspect, Intriguing, like you must put the
Blue or in the water and c O. Does this person wanna go to a slightly shady or low? but with me or I ever level with me like there's something other than just were acquaintance at risk taking yes, so in my experience it's like I need to know every human being on the planet is attracted to me, guess or or optimally Lastra May. Finally, yes, I would want everyone to somehow being with any so I need to check in If you are you're disgusting, examine you forget you love your enemies. Tat lasted, but I do need to know, and then I think you're total trash. Now we have this other Pakistan is a bow. This is about our different relationships, struggles and dating struggles and mine. Is this exact thing? Do you know your attachment? Ireland strategy, novel, we're starting this might be preoccupied in then you might be avoid anyone be love, avoided and so on,
you should head where I was, can we overcome by the way? I don't exclude anyone, sir I'd I'd say I'd. Do it more even with guys interesting so like there's guys on, sat and I start being flirty and all talk about their bodies, and hopefully they'll talk about mine. Now, just talk about bodies and by the wooden I'm not coming and I'm doing this it's only on reflection, where I recognise I'm doing this, which is I'm trying to hopefully get to a level with this guy. That he's never go. Into with another guy out because of maybe homophobia, something else or he straightened, I'm straight ya. Wanna have a unique novel. experience with this pursing because then we'll have something guess you want to win his interactions you want to be. Best he's ever it's like a memorable. It's some kind of way I want to. I want to share some unique experience that you've never had before, but then I I want to be your best friend, but I,
have time to be your friend at all hours, and I know so- please don't ever tax me again, but I also do ought to be here. So may I have absolute, I'm not taking on new fry unless its parameters bulls thing. So many people go through this and have dont have the language to really identify. It sets I mean it's a type of hoarding alike. I wanna be everybody's best friend, but I have absolutely no doubt that all three of them we need them, hi archives in like, like that. I wonder you others fingers ends and do good blood, brothers or whatever. But- and its also can, I think, on some subconscious level, like with the intrigue stuff you're, also just creating an overwhelming situation for yourself, our pressure for your creating for future pressure for yourself in your putting yourself in a big mess that you have to untangle, which is just kind of recreating our childhood circumstances, of having to be the adult that manages some big mess. Orangist weak, recreate the childhood circumstances of
one very needy needing a lot from you that you couldn't possibly reciprocate. Yes, which was a lot of my My parents were very emotional. I have a borderline personality care, take primary caretaker. I call them primary here take this for your parent. My yeah I do I do it is my mother is such a priority of term. At this point we will hear the word mother they already like rather eyes, but by you know it was a sick of very needy situation and I think I try to recreate someone like needing me really
yeah now is that I can be in that victim state of our God. This person need so much from me. I'm not consciously calculated at all warm any of this is happening. I would describe it as a zest for life and a deep interest in people. While it's happening now again in reflection, I must acknowledge: what's it servicing, I don't I'm level, do you think you're poking around four summons boundaries are just kind of slow course. I'm triassic! Yes, yes, I'm deep, because I'm also, I think again, there's so many variables to be released. but to say I am just trying to get everyone's approval that wouldn't be complete enough. But yes, in the simplest way, you're a comedian Amis meeting where you and I will joke or no one's round is, can we drastically different than the way most people cancelled cancer. Five minutes not to you and I are in the back of a cow bad now cancelled, cancel yards or run so in some play I'm always sussing out with someone I'm talking to you. How far can I go on? What I think is five risky? Can we get here? How what kind of territory can we venture into shore
because I feel most alive when we're talking about something that is terrifying to have made public. How scared can, with gas but an worthy only to people in the world. Now we ve been against I'm against them. Now it's us against the whole. You know work the olive Arthur. collar workers, or is it to gain a sense of like oh, where the same are familiar and what is the somewhat to see you again, MRS Gillig? It's all chicken and egg. Looking half of it is. I laugh hardest at that when I'm scared, Action on tension areas. Yet so I just I enjoy the most in Romania. So that's the chicken aspect now the egg aspect is what else is going out? Why is it that that makes me feel good are widely ass? I hear that its we're, knowing why that is the aid I desire. You get adrenaline out of that, of course, yes and adrenaline turns into delta me look at all my Hobbes, you drove up here there myself, there's nothing here without three hundred horse. I, if I'm not, I always it is
if a hidden, if there's not a like putting present threat of death on the table, it's hard for me to have a good tat can be done, can be there because I'm married, I have a life to protect ensue. all, were dancing around something? It's. You know yeah reddening that now overseen it's very height. Yes, let me point out that, as far as I can without falling off, let me say how far I can go. So let's talk about why that way you grubbing DC, dad murmured for Niemann Markets, shit yeah, that's it worked in public relations for Bloomingdale's and even Mark S and lived half in DC and then the summer's in Virginia. Why summers and why there was a lot going on and I would live with my aunt in the summer Tiger in Virginia and then I live with them for a couple years, when I was a teenager when shit just gonna hit the fan, so I kind of went back and forth from this like farm life with animals to living in George Town and go into new markets after school, with my mommy,
as we did: a babysitter scientists like live in Yemen, Marcus shared by my lottery. I think that was also may be. My first little drug was uplifting. That's good wine! A lot of people, that's the gateway. Can I never knew of cats? I grew up with our money if that was why cause there's a lot of people with money, the chaplain, you, but it's a pretty well and rightly yeah known around on rights right, it's a pretty solid high and a pretty solid. You know four weeks you no if you're gonna get found out, so you are in constant adrenaline Jean it's a good one. I know because there, Sir there's surveillance cameras. I could at any moment they could find now. What kind of things are you taking too like little cricket, yeah stuff, that probably at the time you know I thought was a big deal, but like paper clips
my mom's coworkers office, like loathing, nothing major. So my brother and I he's five years older than me money, and so at this time I think we were eight and thirteen and we went into Hudson's. Andy had really high and electronics, and we both wanted Sony, walk, and we couldn't afford that. So he stole one. That was, I want to say it was maybe seventy dollars right and I went all I. To the hundred thirty dollar? Auto reverse, really expensive, only put em both in our winner jackets and we're walking out of Hudson's in a security guy stops us I'm a so I'm fucking panic tat. He saw my brother steal this thing and he then ask me to open up my code and I open up my cb winter jack and I fold the edge over. So you can't see in the pocket where it is at. He looks at me and then he goes. Okay go find your parents and tell them. We have your brother
in this in cap? Salutes so many reasons if my life, where my brother I'd, kill me, because that was the story of my life like he got busted in, I got away in that just kept repeating itself fining moment. Yes and I I was so panicked that I walked like a hundred yards down the mall. Then I sat down on a bench. I put the Walkmen on the bench and then I got up and I walked away and then for the Nexia four hundred steps in like someone's, going to tap me on the shoulder and say here's your walkman and then I'm going to get arrested in the whole nine yards. But yes, very memorable. experience at a gotta leave a marked, I'm obsessed with how people shop left so tell me someone. Then I work with this committee and he used to work ass, a four up and he said the way women still lipsticks is they come in and they
stop the lipstick, invited off and put it in your mouth at walking out. We know now now than they didn't come back again and then bite off another one only and went on suppose you feel it would be best tactically pleasing the bite through Laszlo there's this really expensive face cream, and this woman returned it and said I am returning this. I want my money back and he opened it smelled it the same man. This man is no doubt I don't even like education and lower than that of dollars, the measure again they come in output, Manny then, and then China return. I love while ok now, when you were going to,
So it is our guide when you were going to Virginia yeah and you are living with Anti. Were you a different person there did. You have like a differ character. You tried, I started my very deep connection and relationships to animals. Ok had a farm, and that's when I went up this is a relation Viking no one where they can't and they need me. You know she had horses, she had dogs and I was alone a lot there. My sister did not come with me and I think that's right forms basically just the ability to be solitary and make imaginary friends, and you know, make imaginary characters and a journal and then just how relations with animals and be alone, which I think I'm probably was incredible for your future to have it and just being able to be a comedian on the road eighty cities a year and be alone all the time right, which a lot of people can't be alone. I think that's when it crystallize like. I can be alone for days at a time and before I mean does not help
the and I gotta go to meetings to make eye contact with people and connect with people, but I was alone a lot and I would sort of check out into these fantasy worlds, and I would you know, make these little characters in my head and his little stories you now, and I think that was when I first started. Writing I didn't know, that's what I was doing the area, and so when you would return to the sea for the school year, was the adjustment heart do as you very hard. I just I'm I was never I hate it when people and our business are like. I was never popular at school. At always noise. We gave way to a gene people in I've. Maybe it's true. I don't know I can't generalise about it, but I just is alone. A lot is a kid I remember being alone and making music videos in my mirror in organizing cosmic. I was just alone a lot and that's just something: people really talk about a lot. I think in recovery- and just in this moment where people are, you know,
deconstructing in examining themselves. It was an absence wilma. Now, more than ever, we recognise that the power in essential areas of community it's one of the pillars of any recovery for anything slowly, community and because on sort of primordial level when you're alone, a lot you know, are reptilian brain thinks we ve been exiled from our path. are our dry. I mean that's what I say. You know living alone as it can be so bad for you, because on some primordial level we know we don't have the protection of of the pack and used. producing less their tone. I mean it's very real, or do I have it that because you had a half brother, half brother gap here. Are you have a high and it was I assume, through father, guesser. Ok, so your had met mom and then had you and your sister. But you had already come with older brother had come with older brother gas, ok, but then they get over a five year. Gap, thou, ok, so these are varies The fact that anything on the internet- true that always so I use it
grandma, grandpas all summer, ok and again that pretty solitary, but I ll because they were noting. I mean you're, making me meals and like treating me like a fifties kid yeah and I loved entering into phosphate. the Programme of the law. Yes, so I really had that tube. For me was the nicest part of my childhood- that's cool. I think we forget about caretakers that aren't parents. You know my aunt didn't have kids and I moved in with them when I was like ten and they had never catch kids, so they, treating me like a doll no class, so it was your mom sister, my dad's, your dad. It was indeed lived together. They lived on a farm in two separate houses on the same oaks base, yeah yeah that'll, even that's kind of I I saw lading. It's not like. There was an evaluation. Didn't it s, just a purse not adds writers yeah. You know what I mean. That's when I learned about kind of chosen family,
you know how it's mom and dad and all these kind of labels of what means mom and what means dad and in a grandma grandfathers different people that can raise you. I mean it. We used to be raised in a village. The fact that there's like only too people that are supposed to raise us now is just wilds. You know so I was cut. You read that add up to have the time of one third of a person in general It is totally to me it was. I am actually really grateful. Looking back that I had so many adults to look too and to influence me and make mistakes, and not that kind of stuff, but I just kerbela around a lot of women that warrant mare, aids that we're single that were like animal women like a horse. When I know George, the horse women like women, they could like build Barnes, and you know one of my arms had twelve dogs and a horse that lived on our porch like
A side of the house was all lawn furniture, cause the dogs or ignore point, and you have a nice furniture. You know I gotta choose get up at five: a m feed the horses like I just I that's right kind of just learned about like integrity and discipline and a lot of things that I We need it, and so the EU obviously were great student pursuant to pen which were Serbs you more than you more than me. Unpin way it's a unified. Sky number. Remember I didn't realize what does Unifil we ve invented this it's too stupid to, even though without love, Nancy Universal Service hasn't people who went to fancy university. What now we're not even sure why, which is? Are we standards, lower. We we like status, it's weird, I mean it's definitely weird it's it's! You know I,
I didn't want to say about- I'm always embarrassed about it. If that happens, it is not worth it just makes. Everyone hate you. I was saying I have said this. I'm here by my friend Christine, went to Harvard Longitude quite well. I've been with her on ten different occasions where people asked her where she went to school and yeah. She says Harvard they go and then they didn't, she has had to sit there and be patronised for like five minutes and my boy, water, award for working with everyone feels less workers. People say: did you gotTa Penn state right wing I didn't even know there was a need that there was a difference. I then hasn't ago will know. I have we went to pan and illegal sorry, unlike Iraq. If I dont disagree, I'm a liar and then you're gonna find out what exists. I'm an unpardonable, but can you maybe take the approach? I do when I order food at to pick up a hundred percent the time when they go in the name and I go Dax and they go Rex, and I
yup with wherever they say. Oh yeah, I guess so much shorter yeah. Maybe when your pen say your yet? But but I've had people thence the personnel without using advanced aid, then we can just trying to kid person, because I'm an asshole I've, I disagree you deserve to say the I went to of fucking. I believe school. That's amazing answer now I mean it's idiot yet as well as an eye but I'll bring up the route. The reality who in this variables can change the world or whitney me. That's work on the world now that I see how people get into these colleges IDA there's some. I definitely something sketchy have me. Let me I mean just with what we just saw, what the Ivy League scandal. I mean it's funny, because there are some kids from. I want to say that applied to stand for that suit, Stanford they got in because they want now
Being an Ivy league school isn't even exclusive any more. The value of my degree has not down because you ve degraded it you don't mean so now it's not a big deal. Plo sued to get their money back from their application fee, which was only like eighty five dollars like so war yeah got a wonder: is it one percent? That's there on a shady back, dealing or is it twenty five percent its carrier? Is it's never been fair labour? Also, there was, I mean I remember when I was in high school people would pay to have as a tv tuner. That's yes already unfair, that I was saying you're reading about that scandal in your black. Like, oh, that's cute,
and you are now in the Koran. Yeah the whole fucking set up his career is the fairest thing that a billionaire has to spend half the milking they're going to college. I like that they should have to pay more get their case, that other people can pay less like this. Could this actually the fairest thing I've seen so far by the way? That would be the way to clean it up. That's just like your kid in wishing is one million a year in a while you another, hey more being. Has your already two privilege, yes of your your kid to go here, but in the kids, a dumb ass, yet exactly yeah, if you're gonna tell me have to pay for times, is that more? And then you agree on Algeria already privileged kid, their leaders, it all up, they too for more armchair expert. If you dare we are did buys zipper, cruder, owl, zip, Recruit.
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now butcher boxes offering new members ground beef for life. Can you imagine smash burgers for life? My dream: that's two pounds of ground beef in every box for the life of their subscription, plus twenty dollars off their first box, just go to butcher box dot com, Slash Dax or enter promo code Dax at check out, that's butcher box, dotcom slashed acts or and her promo code Dax at check out so, but was being a great student, a part of the controlled hundred percent. I now look back incomplete, obsessive control addiction because I felt so out of control and I also wanted to I am proposing what moms kind of thing was drained. The gate like to drink a young. Obviously she probably was a little bit of work. All is well Mercer, that's right as she works or ass off and it's weird because the idea of a work a holocaust such a crazy termed, because most people have
Work remain in work. Ethic is something a virtue. It's really becomes an addiction right when it either stops being fun or when you continued doing it. Despite don't go Matanzas, yeah consequences. So for me, there's times today were I'll, be working on something that's never gonna happen, or that's I'm showing up twenty minutes late for things or I'm ruining relations that someone ok. This is worker Hollis M O that's a great way to instead of the work ethic I'm having a choice right. I don't know that I've ever applied that lens to it, but yet looking around and going am, I You have my leaving wreckage and my wake because of this thing now, but we do the thing we're really, but I'm busy and I'm so important as it last week. I started a new thing and we sought to episodes of it, and I was really short with three different people like embarrassingly so had to make these long.
a man's- and I was like I'm just driving home, so disappointed myself on Friday, going like fucking and you can't get through one week without being an asshole to three people and then having to say sorry about walk. And then I started thinking and I've worked fifteen days straight and I have two little kids and you know part of it. Is it's hard to be a good person in the situation of put myself in so I'm not excusing it, but I'm like yeah the more that stacks up the less predictable. I am. That would be a red flag and something to go home. Maybe your do too much because yeah you're at capacity in your glasses, you know, have overcome yeah cause. I am now at the point where five snap or something I can. I can pretty quickly course corrects, like I m, pretty quickly, go ok, my hall to my hungry anger, lonely, you're, tired! You know, I'm all of those other time, not always the most obvious wine again Europe, for managing our when you're just being you're, not an acceptance of the serenity,
that's what it wasn't another difference of like? When can I actually can you know change the matter, and what am I micromanaging and just trying to take my shit out on somebody and have a false feeling of control, false yeah, then then I'll say coupled with I don't spend enough time. A magazine, my position in my status. I literally, if I'm in an argument with somebody. The last thing I am thinking of is: oh I'm number one on the call sheet. Oh I'm the person- that's gonna, be promoting this, like that. I have leverage that this director might not have I just think I'm in a battle of good or bad ideas. and I'm not taking that into account, and then when I leave, and I realize I heard the person's feelings I my first thought is like will, they should have then spoke up. Better might now is, and I, as a lopsided debate- and I got a fucking be aware- that is your home- presents you dont, never take into consideration, after all. Why
power tat we well imitating. Yes, and I dont think that either. I just think. I'm like we're talking ideas and take, took me so long to learn, or to believe. Rather that statistic- and I know in your post you'll correct me if I'm wrong please, but on that. Eighty percent of communication is not It does not matter what you're saying so much of it is how you're saying it, and Monica immediately right now, what my non verbal thing is early will learn getting scared and I'm completely unaware tat. Here I can't businesslike Does anyone know where ass his nose start
flaring I'd now like it. If I know that I have to have some kind of confrontation with someone what Alan ON is so great forest, it's in every programme of pause of at least being able to. If I need to say something when I press pause, regroup, cause feelings are not facts and delineate. What's a feeling here and what's a fact here: are we really running late or do I just feel like we're running late cause I've books, myself, too, girls, and I have lots of good to do it. I'm super important year. So does it feel this way or is it actually? This way, and I have to say about I've descend at least three text messages to people run by people to see. If it's just an emotional thing, I can't go the problem for the solution. I have to do now.
I'll find the solution somewhere else and translation is saying nothing wrong, which is the most annoying ADA when that's the solution, but I now what I have to have a confrontation at work or something. I will literally start to talk like this, because I know if I talk like this, it's just going to be perceived as an attack, just gotta be perceived as a criticism I have to sit down. I have to go. my legs. I mean I just now. I have just learned that you're you're so right, but I will often think because I am choosing my words carefully. But really my body is yelling. I feel completely out of control. I'm now trying to kid So I guess I'm sending a much different signal that words I'm saying quite often, but its money- you're saying. I'm feels ridiculous that what I look, quickly? In my many attempts to get sobers like, I can't wait till I'm in Vegas to come up with a plan. This day is over
like the day before I leave. I've got to think through everything that might happen, and I have to have some preview, no active plan to prevent me from making a decision in the heat of the moment and you're right. I never think, while I'm going to confront this, How should it go? What should I you know a plan? I just jump in yeah oh, and I do have to do that now of like sort of like, even if this does go late today, I'm just gonna say nothing just for today and that's why a big thing and Elinor is just for two,
He went on to deal with tomorrow. We have to commit to next week, but just for today, if you have an emotion, you're, not gonna, show it one of my favorite things that I heard and programme is don't just do something sit there and just having to sit there and tolerate that discomforts is really you know our drug. You know, you know alcoholics their drug, maybe I'll call. Our drug is often taking inaction, sending that tax, sending that email having that confrontation when, in reality, sometimes taken that action is just going to exacerbate the situation and make a negative contribution to your future. So a lot of time, the sober at least for me, the emotionally sober, take us like you're gonna, say nothing and you're just gonna be uncomfortable and you're gonna have faith which his wife does a faith based breaking thing:
that it will not be like this forever raw and in fact, if you just shut your mouth now in five days, you go hey. Last five days I haven't said anything because I wanted to see if it was gonna change, but now I feel so now you have at least some proof work with when you have the conversation there's a court. I love that. Sometimes the best battle strategy is a masterful retreat you know like the only way to win and do not play like it's taken me so long as I have such a combative, like I'm fuckin, going or anybody tries to fuck me. I've been fucked over so much and I'll just sort of depends almost swing too hard, which is making me think of what you said before about that making the amounts. In the apologies like that, such a slippery slope, you know for me, and just in the island on codependent recovery, because where the people that up
poligized too much for too long. While the immense thing is so tricky Gallagher, I've our I'd. Like sorry- sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry Sartori and then, when you actually do have to apologize. It's a very tricky area. Yes, I went to apologize. I sometimes in amends, is a form of self cares, not for them. Now. Ray apologies, not for them all. Always I do find more than anything like, especially since we you know, I mean most people with a lot of peat. There's a soul interactions all the time, and you know- and I just fine like making a quick apology and forgiveness. Conscious constant, like radical forgiveness, is just the only way I can get to the day. Yes, otherwise I will just stew and stew and obsess and pursue every which is a big part of Alan for several anywhere to separate. What is it It is not very recently Bulger morning anyway, since they playing some evil.
where embarrassingly aim r p may be pursued, I listen to that. You did you name it something. Now we get a gender we think it's female, oh did will, which I just love. One of my favorite browser is, I love that you call a toilet, commode others trying to elevate the turbine really quite forgot about that words. Saying groups are going. Is people just kind of me? You know I love you dont, who literally notable issues really spreading mainly about p babies and arts and groups. You guys are like a relationship in a systematic wouldn't by re. Allow bra oil all asian like have a platonic soulmate, so he's like more likeable. Let's make your diversities visually they're, going to be great, like she's half his size again, yes, Indian, Super Toxicology Mass
Thou ART Edna slave, don't jerk again I mean I have some welcome. Some are some remedy combinations of. Do you ever get nervous some pie cast about saying something, and I say it right and I think part of the trick is whether you're hiding it or not interesting. I got trouble forcing basket case, why do we because basket case I guess- is in World war, one. If you had four limbs amputated, you could fit in a basket you're a basket case and Can I defend you? Wasn't real trouble? I'm fine! I think I need a way to also I'm like who are you advocating for? Do you know someone? That's a warmer one wide river, whose existing in a basket, I was sorry, Gimme Mutinous personally other name like our people? My name is a real. That's why I was wrong thing myself, the cut! on such a basket case. How dear
you, try to take me. The hurting myself make it you look like I'm not doing those good bye like it. It's all. Just as you know I mean the outrage about the outrage to me is actually weirdly. Ridiculous that those applying well yes, stacks, let each other yeah. I was at the twitter offices- and I was talking about just the metric seven and twenty percent of people are on twitter and two percent generate eighty percent of the comments. Where were you so that you know it's very few people, but it's so scary to us that were projecting. You know this thing and it just feels Europe but humans of what was done. This there's also that human there used to be a town square. Wherever we go watch someone get hanged. We you know the Romans used to watch criminals get torn apart in the Colosseum. We ve always done this. We ve always had a a drama, addiction, self righteous indignation, obsession with you know it's like when you drive passed a car accident
Luckily you know it's just STAR Magdal S getting activated yeah, so I guess we ve just lost some the romance executive guy fighter, why that's that's word or people use something yell I mean I'm SAM Harris who I love, listen to on your back, as did the whole thing about the Colosseum and people used to come and yell out ways to kill the criminal they would participate. They will not go into the Colosseum going rose again yielding their eyes. There were pitching glitters, not exact tearoom apart and their favorite was to tie a horse to each one of the limbs and have the royal IRAN ordering outlets Cordery wound which, by which the same hairs. You know that makes a basket case
I hope, though, that you hope that the limbs is come out from the torso, but I am a fearful it rather than ever worked, so that was so fascinating about how work. No nobody can you keep it horses to run in foreign direction, yet think of you deleted debility! No more is vague. There, their path heard animals they should they all follow one in the guys like getting trample, I mean it. There was guy in the Roman, calcium, whose job it was to secretly kill the people that wouldn't die fast enough, because none of them a lot of torture. You know they didn't work, you're right. Why would I had better be any different from any other human endeavour in which there's autonomy error, I'm the guy who tend to govern the stab the CAP n Bill MIKE Mike Mike? I can still lags fucking embarrassing to me, like the bumbling nature of public money.
Oh, my god, you're gonna, gray, you're right, we're all inclined and I'm guilty of it is like. There is a certain arrogance that we think everything's new on our watch and then everything's the worst on our watch, and then we will witness the end of this institution on our water. You know there's some kind of arrogance there, but I also share yeah. I guess maybe he's I'm comedy. I've always there's always been arguments like this you now. I think this has made it the first time. It's it. It's me I have been in this. I guess this much, but I tore all over the country and no, he's talking about it, it's not it's not you know or to resign, and I left Roseanne and it was the biggest story ever you now and then I go to tamper with resolution which only the meme mill in line here, and then I tell him what the other one Did you sleep? Well, guy. Well knows you're nuts omega, but you do you with my idea or cancelled. I have a pick up
we can be thou know. Who can so? Let's go camp you can I offer you cancel candle to cancel Teasdale adds some take them and donor to the charity, some ok that sector can I keep ten percent of the profits while for administrative costs, because wasn't it does network? Ok, Matt Lauer kicks us off in the morning right. Bill. Riley comes and gives us some gadding political move, either wheat by Harvey, causing shows back until this is the right to know what are the only one reads like a granddad okay, we have to fear to sketch yea Greece Avail once said bottle opposite, but then we close out the prime time slot with Fuckin Rosanna, which was the biggest show in the last twenty years. There's no. arguing that the cancelled network could do like a hop show. Yes, wine steam. Does the movie the way I asked Stacy Kevin space. It could do a fireside chat,
That's it reads: Monica very nasty. Just again very monies joking and we are able to re- I mean raise money now, that's the only missed opportunity here is raised money give money to you now parenthood and times been, can make us money. Why not make them useful? There's a lot of I mean here's. The thing about all these men have done cannot allow them brilliant men. Now that's the thing is: some of them are pretty good at certain at least keep doing, think contributing some way and don't just be sitting there. Do they get paid at all I mean no, they were now really now do we pitch to them is just a pathway back to rail and snow. It's just. You are atoning atoning,
ok, let's using is not that you have any compunction whatsoever, but this is a way to connect your worryin bogged down in the details like red ideologists, just get it motion and then we'll worry about particular yeah, and lately I like do they get it on the other room and, finally, that we're getting really into like that. But if it's a waiter, raise money to charitable causes network always or something? What's your mark that you I think. Maybe we are guy now, if you have a lot of television experiments, ok, but I want to go through some of your fun accomplishments, which there are many first starting with going pen and gradually manga, combining two things we share punked in in in our latin honours. I don't think you remember when we first met you'll, never remember at it made me love you instantly you're off punked. I was on punk doing this secret season member everyone thought it was cancelled and then there was a secret season.
and this is back I had like- was twenty two I was broke. I had just read the secret. I was making vision boards. All I had was the metaphysical. That's all I had to go on were signs from the universe and manifesting things, and I was at a Starbucks on sunset and Cresson Heights. Where there used to be a verse. mega story. Cities store how long I was by the way I was most certainly coming out of an aiming Here. We have a meeting in the parking lot of that. I now there's a lot of elaborate meetings there. Yes, ok you're at Starbucks, and I walk in in your standing right in front of me and unlike I just man if, as I vision will without ads, you are not only by being on punch, you came up all the time, we're technical terminals. Oh my god. This is the universe. lighting or something. So I'm on pumped you're season that you I mean
maybe knew about me, but probably did answer a movie star by now. I'll just add, so you have full three b. I am at that stage coming from punked because I'm doing enterprise where people are saying, what's it like to act, which was all in my head, I felt equal worth saying: you're a junkie reality star. Why are you in these movies? That was my narrative at the time, so not aligned narrative its he's just so fucking great and everyone loves you write in I'm like normal and I'm kind of running from punked. At that moment, imagine I would imagine yes, which is. I am ashamed of his like what I had a great opportunity. It was wonderful. It was a fund show in a God What's that thing for happening cuz now I made a living, but in that moment You get in then you'll get famous for certain thing. You're, like I don't have a famous for this thing, but all I wanted was to get that. You know every time a new energy. It hurts my feelings having every compliment. Anyone gives me Israel action, and that is how it is now.
So I I was like, I'm gonna go up and say something he would want. This would want me to say something: I'm like so convinced we're about to have this magical like kismet moment, and I got tuna like hey. Oh my god on punked right now, and this is so now I'm cringing alive and then my first thought was to go. Oh, no, I'm not gonna punk you! I promise kind of making a joke which I'm sure it's a joke. You got constantly and also a cute I would like you to meet my experts jokes, and I then that real moment realise. Oh, my god, I'm not famous. I bet people do this to him all the time come up to him all the time. you were so nice to me about it. Oh thank God, I'm just waiting until they get out of this. I taught us, and so do I pray. You were like. Congratulations like you. Just were so nice to me and I left like baby
in dirty dancing, I carried a watermelon. I carried a watermelon like that I'd I beat myself up for like days been with what did you say to him that was so stupid in your head? I was probably just a crazy person. No you coming out, you know cause. I was like I'm on point, but the punt was imperfection anymore well, I do? I do want to your earlier point, which is true, is about a year out from punked still one in particular. I remembered I ordered some burritos at talk about, and I said so yeah for beam. Burritos, no onions, please and the guy goes ok for breeders, extra onions and I smiled now's gracious and I got the idea, but but no onions and he goes ok for burritos extra. Stir, onions and I go on is a long day and I go I I know I'm Pont. I got you upon me No onions is ok. Ok, extra money in this
it just one man. I know I know what's happening and I'm trying to be nice about a fuckin. Please don't put means of like dont want onions, so there weren't there was a bunch of when the owl in real life or upon him. Yes will or like you just need a cloud in the world in your what someone in your doing something, give me right now and I'm like I hate to break it to you, but you're, not famous. I also realized I got hit on my motorcycle on Lincoln Boulevard and I was laying on the ground in the motorcycle. Hits live like a hundred yards in a guy got out of his car and I was very early bleeding negroes. Oh my god. I just saw that duty. Fuck, you Oh my god. I want any literally starts looking around for cameras with its like. When we got, I might die
The show like someone's, not gonna, call my when one, because they think this is an elaborate poem. I also had this crazy thing. We're after I was on it was just got was at a time before I was in any kind of you. No recovery for you know being addicted to people's approval, and all I wanted was to be friends it for what we were talking about before and I'd walk into a room of our peers or our people and our business, and no matter to me. Yes- and I was like how did I make myself a pariah, all I want is people like me Dick, and this is too and then I did the rose rhyme dislike roast IP fall and then I walk in a room, and people are kind of scared me and I'm like this, my living nightmare just think we do that we subconsciously keep creating this circumstance to confirm the thing we're afraid is year, as I already or you just invent the thing it, and so after that, I'm just gonna show this to you, because you're just so forth, I had it in my head that you didn't like me. ok for years, when you don't even know what happened that
come on. I we ever like too, which is plot twist, but this what we do like well, you'll, take a thing magnify it right. Some narrative, that's just gonna make you feel bad about yourself. That has no proof. It's the insecure narcissist. It's the I'm a piece of shit in the center of the universe. Yes, on the basis that the whole world revolves around and what is deeply fluttering to me right now and even something I can't relate to You would even want my approval, yet it's called mental illness and while they no offense, but it is right, but I think there's also like you're saying you know in beginning I again, if I'm not entrenched with some on it, the rejection reactive were not your best friends were enemies, its sole black and white. That approaches are not approach over very thin. Understanding of borderline personality disorder. Is that approach. that isn't there pattern that they meet someone they are in love with them, making
most amazing thing in the world and then they create some rift in then they become someone. That's trying to annihilate them. Yes, so interesting, so borderline per scientists are, I am not an expert on and they have a bunch people, my family, that have it. I was convinced I would cause I'm variances like rescuing animals, which is a little addiction I have and I kept begging my therapist to tell me. I was bored of Ngos, borderline personality right in areas like people, growing personality disorder, come the therapy and ask if borderline personality disorder like they would never subject themselves to this kind of criticism, because this would all feel like an attack to them. So there. You know, there's an inability to admit or character defects, and I was going to say that's the only time. I feel a little bit relieved that I'm not a narcissist is the fact that I'm a bit you waiting quite often unfair Manassas narcissists, don't walk round, saying there Narses right, hey, sad, perfect and Undermist Andrea, and so are you
gaming sociopath, like all of you, deliver sociopath and she was like no sociopaths, don't ask sociopath, rum and so borderline. There's a great book called walking an actual ok, about borderline personality disorder, it yeah basically its tricky because it is essentially a trauma survivor. So it's you know something truly bad did half of it makes, and so they trusted someone in real life And did do something that almost destroyed yes, so it really is the thing that so hard about borderline from what I understand of just having to coexist with so many borderline people in my family is that there are now they really feel what their feeling it's not fake, it's not manipulation, it's not a projection its. They truly feel the pain there feeling, even though its may be, ostensibly histrionic, ordered or dramatic, or you know not a right size reaction, India, they true,
you can't deny what someone's feeling right now so I grew up around and I think this is part of the reason I struggle. Admiration is like the tiniest thing would turn into an explosion in yours like how could this year, glass spilling but lead to their yeah. You know, but tonight the bigger the big leave out one or two borderline personality disorder. Folks in our lives over the last decade. Christened I entirely nobody has assumed a Mark Marin interview that therapist. Start. Joshua was right. My favorite interview matter still start sounding there is. There is a great. I is tat. Was my exclusive night club for the longest time try to get into fills a leisure like colleagues, celebrities Billy. Can you get me into fell? Silent abide, he's got another therapists. City works. What they did. A great book called the tools so far. It has some great exercises about how to keep things right. Sized or something called the death bed exercise where, when you're dealing with an issue, you picture yourself on your death, bad, very vividly and looking back
of like is this something that is worth giving my intention to do. You know I'm accidentally. Ah I bet that's the most common analysis. I run things tat. I love that when I was over achiever, yet my in teenage in college years, a lot of that sort of one along with eating disorders, disordered eating, is a big part of you, no control and perfection of Zambia and a lot of what gets me through even today when it starts a kind of bubble up a lecture that China that eggs picture myself on my death bed and, like I will so pissed off. If I'm on my dad bad going like all the time I wasted thinking about food, tat lay I'll be surmounted myself. There is a pride that comes along with just like being a student. You know I did. I did this many set ups in this empty pushups and I only eight many calories. Eight healthy today there is a sense of pride or of being reliable, and especially you know, for me identifies an adjective I'm able to resist something, tempt
I just feel good about my own. All, that's you know. Productivity in cooperation makes dopamine and think that would go under the umbrella of cooperation so that when the tubes you know, look eating disorders, everyone's is so dramatically. Different. I found the more you try to figure out the less. I even know because I've seen there's so much of it, my family, but to me my eating disorder was really just like being is thin as possible, you know it wasn't about being a truck. That's not attractive, so was not being attractive. It wasn't about like setting goals. I think it was just about being, is sort of small as possible without any real, really thinking about it and then just morphia of not seeing how thin I was. I look back a pictures and I'm dislike. It makes me shudder. I think a lot of eating stuff is also of Little Master Pretoria control exercise. It's a very isolated way to not have to socialize with people. I would only eat like certain foods.
Ever. Like I mean when I was a teenager, I would like only eat like Dr Papaya for three months, that was like my safe food like I was just like a aversion to risk taking in any way or doing it wasn't about fatter thinkers. The town of sugar? You know I left and then I would do the exercise thing. So I feel like when I first when I met you, I was probably coming out of a gym called oh yeah. I wouldn't want to borrow worked out that adds Jeff Gallbladder, Yad remembrance in genes the german genes, although numerous worked out, I think I love volume I moved to allay. I was on an ellipse go machine which was like all I ever dead ends and Jeff Goble, Amazon, elliptical trainer, and then, Jody Foster walked in on one next to her, and I was gonna gotta see this Hollywood moment in they didn't talk and I remember being like. I wasn't acrimonious management. We like wherewithal celebrities
we just in Time Yad was it's weird thing, whereas it was that it all just like the surreal moment that I had but up, but I would over eat a tonne and then I would work out for illegal for hours not to be Gaza, but you may leave triggering for people, but what's the craziest like meal, you, it wasn't like Corey, it was more like I'd, have it for boxes cereal, ok sure didn't mean or like five of those protein by as you know, I gotta get these like a things called ice, blended, cyrillic, milkshakes and coffee coffee by her and now we just go, walk in the travel for four hours and then that would be an excuse for me too, like not socialize, not go out, cancel plan,
and you know I realize now, I'm like. Oh, that was just kind of my way of hiding and isolating and not having real intimate relationships and consuming myself with a full time. Shame cycle, I mean, I know the all roads and addiction and isolation honey, much worthy all, but I never think of it is like subconsciously. That's actually the desire to begin with that. It just all is just a method by which to end up, isolate ass, be alone, because now, if you're alone, your chances of getting hurt your team if someone rejecting you're hurting you go down dramatically and unjust away to be lacking, control things if I'm along yeah, you know argue that may arise stage. Armchair expert. There we are supporting.
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worse news in and to make it even easier to try, see beady, p m or any of sea beady empties superior c b. The oil products there offering arm chair is twenty five percent off their next order when they use promo, go Dax at check out on sea beady, M D, dotcom once again that Sea MIDI, empty dot com, promo Code Dax for twenty five percent of your purchase of high quality, see MIDI oil products from C b d. Emily. Ok, so can we talk about? I am in favour of rose. I think people that, like rosy, should enjoy them out. I'm no one saying they should happen invited mitya idea. Now I've been invited to a bunch of them. Now I love now. I just I know I can't I'm too sensitive. I like for whatever great dig I could throw out their whatever innocuous signals said about me. Would fuck me up for a couple? We asked they just like a too much of an all or nothing for me. Oh yes, your rate at them like. What's the really
kinship for you with it. Knowing what I know about now, here I mean there's a reason. I was able to do that very well what I was unconscious and unconscious person with no it had nothing to lose, and I think that part of the reason I think I was successful at the beginning, as I wasn't famous enough for any one to eat, make fun of you. I didn't know one paid attention to me at the Joan Rivers rose Keziah there. I had no credit. I had theirs. I mean Gregg Geraldo had the best joke. I think about me. You just wait when he Cummings is here. For summary, then that's all anybody mention and then maybe a whore joke or a slut joker of when we slept or waited this Joe. You know something bad, but I have not done the roasts for a very long time, because once I had a modicum of successor things to talk it just it was to work. But at a woman there is only a couple wasted
body actual history face at the same time it it I've been in the in the rooms, and I was right on the rose before I was ever performer an essentially. If you can't get someone under no one can say she's gotta. Eddie Career right, no one can use not fun. I can't I can't say you're, not funny, there's nothing I can get you want. So then we're just grasping for strong. You get to a point worth almost a compliment when somebody goes for your appearance because they can't go after anything else. You know I remember when we did. I may be in trouble for sharing this, but we will do the role of Bob Sagoth Soccer and already was on it, ok and see where the road all these fat, jokes and you know whatever us, for he had gone, sober and lost the weight, and you know eight years ago, when you ve made magic whose short end already last minute had a very rough thing happens as one established zone. Yes, okay, so he cancelled yeah, but we ve got oh geez,
pages of drugs and we have no one to go there. now we do, searches turns calling every heavy We want to make the or finally we get gender garland choose, not that bad Jeff has just lost like a hundred and fifty pounds. The jokes are literally, I think closely to whom is like that bag chair? Oh, no, sorry, that's just Jeff Garland Garlands like why not bad neighbours so rude all faith can give. This is like matching population for trying to fit. You know, and you also relevant jokes, any right. All the horror, jokes and you're like in a lot of times their booked. You know people will cancel and
It's some one else in your just three members. Susie S, mind was on one year. We had all these jokes. I feel equal written, fully PAM Andrews issuers, thereby giving institutions because the US we're like you know what would be careful she opens. Her mouth comes, gotta come. It was late like what put about by the way in others, since it should be a great relief to not take it personally cause it's Eads actually we'd anyone right now. We just as I am not minimizing that, but just the way that its made. I think it's important that people are able to just like take that with the grain of salt as well. You know I mean I remember when I did, I think, was the flavor flavour roast when I mean care topless lake. Very hurt. You know it was really hard to watch him in PAM Anderson. I've already made an apology to her publicly, but she like she was ready to get up and walk out when I e, when I went for
Oh, you know it with its brutal. I think we all think we're a little tougher than we are now. I think we might think we're a little less stuff than we are Also, I think I become a perfectionist in my character, defects where I'm like I'm. I take me so long to admit I need help with them vulnerable then around my house- I need help. I can fix this computer myself. I need help with a guy. Can totally do myself. You know sometimes I like overdraft, but you know I member least lamp in Algeria and I crying after the Trump roast just crying real, because had lost all this weighed and they still were doing the bad jokes. You know it's a! U, just you can't win, but that's the nature of. Yeah you and I still love a good rose stroke and I love writing, rose jokes now, like that's how my family communicated storing up yes answered with in my family tat. I love it. I guess we give each other shit. And yet I know, there's unconditional love, and I am not sure that there's unconditional love with all these acquaintances, honesty and America
yeah and America yeah and its trick. I think that the hardest part about the rose from me is correct me. If I'm wrong, like, I think we tend to train people how to treat us and when I was doing the rose and people with say horrific shit to me. I would laugh because number one I did think it was funny yeah footing muzzle, aren't be objectively form. You know someone, that's a good joke and in our whatever their times I would fake laughed too and then strangers in the airport. You know at gave for in dismay
lay off computers. They like that is ruined my day, but I also get why you think you can say that, and I think people want so badly to just connect with you and I dont think people are gonna come to go hurt her feel totally right thoroughly. Article make her laugh like hey or yours, like ok, you, two thirty on a tooth, locking the door. Levin replied. I don't like you know citing for me there was that no you had this explosion, which was to broke girls with me. I was that the same pilot season to whom it was so that's a tonne two happened. Somebody overnight in the workload are another achiever. It's not, and I was not an as like this isn't even closer. I should today young yet cause you done through a talk show in there to re reading all three. At the same time, yeah, I think I think that's when you first went on,
or maybe around the era that is probably correct, yeah. Yes, I think so, and I black all those It is our view. Do get your front has to go about your own nice. I'm just gonna receive that. I'm not going to argue with you know by you and every back. If you weren't phantom, you? Ok, I believe I speak for themselves, gnats how're in just something happens to your brain. You now, just the nine diseases. Can you guess and you're, just a guy just when you like this, I'm so Tiger and you're so much quicker than you ever do Letterman it's. The only thing to me is the same idea Letterman a couple times, and this probably won't hold up well in the meat to era by Bert. I remember a publicist saying to me: he loves a good perfume Did she just like I'm, not saying it's rain, but just where a great perfume and I went to
wherever New York Lupus Bloomingdale's Barneys or something- and I went, I said what is Europe perfume, this really happened and they set of perfume. It's called child, oh and I did for I know I was here today- of Mega law, dot com and I put it so much on that. I got a migraine. I get migrants, I can't wear perfumery migrants, we're icing the back of my neck. I was like pounding coffee. I did an immature acts which I take for migrants and I go out there and at the end of the appearance which went very well who had you smell, so I wonder you it was a very big deal- was very aware that, and I kept waving my hand towards, like you see in the appearance of I'm totally get him to lay all my child, I shall be called energy or, if they told me he loves when a gas as a cucumber and his ass. It was he thinks it's so funny you what I'm trying to get out of here. I would have thought on it, so I wouldn't you any shame about wearing a pretty. Do you hear that
about how he shake hands with someone if he likes their appearance. Oh no cattle under the rugby what what? What have? I think that if he liked someone's appearance, he shakes their hand at the end sort of like how Johnny Carson used to invite you- How do you know? I use a tremendous. Your two shows I'd like to have no chosen than to have two shows its people were not in this business would know your average person, probably cells. I dont know twenty pilots before one gets. May twenty elapse before it's very low per then, if I didn't have, should not go before the ok that pilot never right, so then of the pilots that get made they make twenty five or somethin. I order two or three for the new season so that you know just odds why's that happening adjusts incredibly rare right Rand. I have to imagine overwhelming and a lot of ways. Yet one of them I wrote and made with Michael Patrick King,
who did sex in the city and the come back so that one day you know broker. Ah, yes, so that one had a higher chance just because of the pedigree of him sure and we got cat Jennings attached to at the time was not doing television. I mean this is the horror movie stars did tat. Only now we got big deal and I think that the other one kind of happened, because you know Embassy- was doing these single camera shows community. I guess the office was on at the time and the idea of doing a multi cameras Rick, just like because they are cheaper? The multi am, as you know, for people, I'm listening that don't know its having alive studio, audience the way Seinfeld Infer it could have on the entire episode in one or two days. That's right and it's. They worked cool, the time, rotten, any ideas don't think are very popular, but not in with critics right. Yes, you know so for them to make this cost them. You know and they had nothing to lose and it was like. You know this silly thing that I never thought was going to happen and they really What's his name, your name levels,
gotta go so why not at all? You know- and I had written this show for Crystal Leah over best friends and where was and what, if we just, I was always writing with no intention of anything going like I would write specks for tv shows that I was constantly trying to teach myself how to be a writer. I wrote like a bunch of pilots, I wrote specks. Shows that never got made like. I had no idea what I was doing. I just started writing the chauffeur me and Chris and NBC ended up buying it and we ended up making at an early hour. This has never happened, then end up testing well right and then it just sort of happened and nervous completely unprepared, and no one knew what was going on needed to years of rights, which is a means of yeah. I want to use a show, is a good amount, I mean as basic as a sort of annoying, but I was doing and we
the shell runner as well, now, ok and I could never find the right team. It was before I sort of knew how to hire and before I knew how to collaborate, and I was so afraid that I was so inexperience and I just started hiring people with a ton of experience, which sometimes works and sometimes does it. I also didn't know about. First acts are supposed to suck rise. Second, drafts are spoke suck a little that like it does have to be perfect at this stage. You know, I think, especially for a multi camp show were you know you table we described and then, sir five days later. You shoot at weight to do the job pass until Thursday Janata me like. I was like exam Did myself trying to make a first draft perfect, because I didn't know it. You know, I'm saying I also didn't know you know this is little inside. I think everyone can relate to carrying more than everyone. I mean woods.
Someone else's on your show as a writer they want their own show yeah yeah. I didn't understand that everyone's there to make your dream comforts- and I didn't know yet that's telling someone I like it when you don't isn't helpful, not spoken words which leave your leg. Codependent seem before any kind of codependent recovery I wanted everyone to like me. I love that. I love that in every woman, like all she lives this. Let's keep doing this instead of telling them what the two. It was more. I didn't know that being a good leader was, if you say no to someone tell them why they learn how you think, so they can start. You know, I guess I'm just saying I would just okay. I love that. I love that to everything and then I go change it and then later I don't understand what she even wants. I just I didn't know that, and I didn't understand that people are adult and they can handle the truth.
yeah they're, not gonna, disassemble and unravel, because you told them, you know it. Let's cut that jobs will be. You promise yeah we're onto Condescend year Peter. Do I find that to be the very hard as part of being the leaders who see, I know to people's ideas that they care about another part of my Nina my disease as I, whenever one to be healthy and lived there I do and if someone's not in the solution of someone's just in the problem and not you know that service, I just have to sit there and listen right and that's the part of of this that has taken me the longest, some glad I have time for service, and I have time to help other people, I'm very busy and envy them me, which reminds me of the stats Marin. He said something that really made me understand. Why meetings were? So, while least for me- as when you get around a group of people- and you admit something super that you're ashamed of or embarrassing to a the people- and they not that we are not now gray centres the room and that's when you can have grace thousand Brazil and that's
back that's what good you're so alone. In your shame, in your again, we also from terminal uniqueness. So we think we're a unique scumbag on planet earth and come to find out were pretty much all scumbags and it's it's ok When you go to port her. Look how many views the video has not innovation Megan the book in which one you good search, proud. One million alone, not alone here, a comment I wanted. You would want one, theory of mind that you'll be uniquely called I did the area that I know you are. You are now the person that I've wanted to interview me more than any one else, since we started two years ago, seconds from now until we got that done. Two thousand and ten who is second, is Roseanne Because- you know that I do you remember that I was trying to get you unresolved. no, and I never got to me again.
Oh, I wouldn't I one thing I think you're on something and I would have gone on a second while I didn't know that one, which is, I was renaissance There are, of course, what interests me is starting with the fact that she's, incredibly smart, vary. So there's not a chance in the world that she didn't recognize that that tweet was gonna be problematic, at least that's what I think so then I go and sorry like it or not, not defending it Fifteen years ago, on a rose, you could say shit like that role as a comedian, Yo Yo Yo should I mean you're our thing about the rules, so those might the Louvre glory! Probably and yes, yes, when she's at arose and when she's not at a arose, is twitter, twitter and outlet for comedy or is it the US that that nets
this murky, but, most importantly, what I looked at was she had do once whether subconscious or not she just too smart to have not known that could have been a real big issue. So then the question for me as or why would she do that in so my to active theories on it? Are this woman can't accept that people lover to a degree that she would self sabotage many times and Roger. I look at the singing of the national anthem and I go. Was she on her way there going one of two things either. I know these people die Really love me they're. All saying they love me. There's all these signs saying that America loves me. Twenty five million people are watching me, but I don't really believe it and I'm going to test it. I'm gonna look like someone in a relationship that doesn't believe the person loves him increase these tests. to confirm whether they loved them are not like. I open my browser and it s a shit. I'm gonna go get program. If you give it to you, I'm gonna make it. Yes, I need my outside Samantha, because the thing
happen with your show. Was that happen in a decade, or I mean that it that first episode, we even knew, who must have had optimistic hopes, for that was unheard of, like twenty five million people or something, that has now been in a decade now, while it did she go, this is I don't deserve this I worry about us lay. Ok, the call to tramp, which may day you know was a big thing was the day after the ratings came out. Ok and the tweet. Really, I don't know the call to train. There was a she turned colder called Trump are something ok and shit I was gone by this time, but she tweeted about but in that kind of you no one did the great numbers came out and what oh, my god, this is such a non, biased show that is both left and right. Jackie voted for Hilary are just time the joke was a chapter, but if it's just I
panicked and she Roseanne voted fur Trump and dad dad didn't votes, because we just thought he wouldn't have use unit working and in they gotten fight about it. Jackie showed up in the pussy had you know, was it felt balanced, yeah right? and then everyone went ok, even though her personal politics or she's into Trump. This is not a trump show, we'll never set his name. We worked really hard to never bring his name up and then so. Every success shows not biased the left liked at the right liked it and then the next day Trump called she called. outcome is like I love Trump and made it like a Trump show right and it made the left go. Oh damn we thought this was a show that was going to unify us, and now this is a trump show raw or something here. That was the first kind of like unnecessary drama. To your point, creating some thing after so much love was coming
her next day and may be some sort of. If I'm gonna go with your theory and then the tweets, the infamous notorious tweet was the day season. Two writers room started again. We too whence it now gives it just. It would be so easy to not send it yeah yeah. You know it's easy to safe, to say to inadequate if we so easy for you to sub drinking it. So for me to stop drinking. I mean, I think, that's a work kind of doing, but I think what learned once I got on the show, is there was a little history of these kind of tweets. What his depending on who you are either good or bad. Like me, a consistent pathological thing more like more the reason to hate I've, not re, making a judgment all, but there were some others, that. I think the word you I wasn't out of nowhere. You worry I'm glad pointed out some tweets from like three years ago that I I just know about writing right, you're, not coming through
those tweet I mean I can't I have some bottom lines around social media is ok and refreshing. I gotta get out of your all got up yeah. I gotta get out of there you now, but if you don't know in SL I they have bottom lines like for some guy might be no hookers and if he doesn't go to hookers he's got sobriety or might be no jobs emphasised rousing, might be no intriguing and could be you guess. Sat at this is just what now I d go past. This point they actually I went to a workaholic synonymous, meaning once and a woman had a bottom line. That was when I need to p. I will get up and p o while, like I can't need to pee. Ok, you know things like. There was a woman with a crafting addiction who was like. I will do one scrap book a day. That's my like lightning. I love peoples by what I was given up because it earlier, but I just drove now, which is out of all the addictions and most compassionate towards peopled eating disorders, because
you see I have you waited reunited three times a day. The eating stuff is so insidious. I have so much compare. I mean I've been through it. I've been enough and also you know so the eating disorders, you know, for anyone listening that has friends or yourself is because it's about control. If people try to help you It gets worse all right to help someone org. You know control, because you just want to shake someone a gulf, brick and eat something it's not worse, not better exactly because they can't see themselves. I mean I remember when I went to an industry or their best. I wrote about this in a book, I'm so I've. Some bears to talk about a publicly is my first time do. she laid me down a vine and other longer right, and she lay me down on a piece of paper and drew her, my body in a magic marker and made me look. My body as a drying, unlike my thighs touch it all and you know- and I still Conseil I was going to say I can't imagine facts or even relevant
Oh, it's not rational. I use drink water before I go in sandbag yeah. I would literally frank those Puget bottles of Ebby on water, so the I would weigh more, you know, and the crazier part, as I thought I was getting, with that you're, so delusional, you think you're. Actually, hiding now I mean I used to like at dinner tables, grab a piece of food and, like put it under, table like, I thought I was getting away with George, like that's the delusion I mean some have been addiction. We do a two words like people, you're like he doesn't think I'm drunk you know, and nearly everyone knows you're eating disorders. You know have after having some family members with a two, is the more you try to help the person the more they recoil into their disease because they feel less and less in control inclination is to intervene and you can say you know you can set a boundary for your own sanity and go. This is just too hard for me to watch. My bottom line is until you get some kind of help I can't be, your life. What you can do that you know, but a lot of it is because someone wants to hurt themselves,
You know it's very hard to get between some one in their self punishment or self deprivation me, you know, cause there's a getting a high off of that. It's a trick, and there is also the trick about time and I have eaten source of his often times its linked to sexual abuse as a child. So there's also so much to be revealed their that you can't tell someone stopping a sexual assault. So how can you know so when I see that now I just try to have compassion and just go You know my lane and just hope that they come to some
innovations. I can share like attraction. Promotion only say our man that he's think I'm I'm not gonna call the personnel, but we we were interested in a very popular tv show in by, I would say all estimations. One of the leads is just the literally dine in front of us and we think the obligation is for us in like film and television can do you think we should be putting people on there the what if they were to come to you between season one in two of Whitney and again I don't know who your history, when you were peeking and knowledge about, but let's say they had said to you hey. We want to come back for a second season, but we can do with you at this wait. You're gonna have to gain weight. What would not think your reaction? What a man? I think it is high time that such an interesting question and I want to be authentic. When I answer but here's what I say. The reason I talk about it now is to kind of compensate for the fact that I feel, like I put a version of myself that was really skinny out in the world
I feel guilty about. So that's part of the reason I grow like I had a problem like has, even if nobody's connecting the dots are nobody noticed or no one? No, you know what are you talking about like? I feel the need to clean up the mess cause. I have regret about it like you were about example, yet, exactly exactly, yeah I mean I don't know, maybe that intervention would have worked because it would have given me. The consequence I would have needed was I conscious enough are mostly sober to understand. my father would have padded my club is some rather would have done some functional or add eggs, total lady. What a whirling bulky sweater anything I probably would have been was addicted. As I was to drugs and alcohol. I did sober up for movies because I was more addicted to becoming now get out. As for one addiction, kind of a clips is another area, and I think Tom Arnold one of his book said that the only thing that saved him initially was being more addicted to being famous them. Cocaine LAO aim his ability to be fair
I mean it's just its tricky. Like I mean eating disorders is so baffling you know the smart. You are sometimes a worse. It is because you could check yourself, you know, so I don't even know if I knew I ottoman like where crazy, I don't know what I would have done, but I'm sure I would have had some cunning way with lighting and clear was to make it seem. Like I'm sure I would have pulled some. You know, but yeah I'd. I don't I don't know Well, I adore you and I love how honest you are now Europe podcast good for you, which are doing still currently rapidly. I just I am just starting to have started in our EU loving. I realise how much perfectionism I still have you know cause I'm just like that. I wasn't being funny. I mean I'm having a now cause, I'm still trying to figure out bypass, like you know, as a stand up, the thing is your money. Every twenty seconds said. I feel I always just feel, like my biggest fear in life has been boring.
I get cripples mean an smell beauty. Remember that seem worry. We loudest alike. Remove. It is a great one. They account for that meeting. I go back in time and pretended and when the knowing and did you know that their hands on the cover of the poster is Christina Hendricks his hand. Why have you read the hand model yeah can now just a little piece a trojan horse. You have asked of the mechanism and of Athens overlooked that somewhat London Christie. Two hundred to when I think your hands as things up my God, Gilbert she's, somehow in the bedroom door? Birch and she says, like the worsen, you could be as boring ash yeah. She says you are so not boring, or that's very thing here, whether you're being funnier you're, not if you're, just being yourself you're. So interesting, we gotta talk to you for some
longer you yeah yeah, you don't. I also feel bad asking my friend. I feel bad ass gang oars and whereas I have to just go like people will say no: if they want to exert their growth, adults he'll be fine, and then people ask me, and then why are you asked me what I didn't think you'd want to eat, so it's the next layer feeling the idea of you know thing and I had a couple really big heart breaks in television that we're just Things at him know about it, get who doesn't know it, but you know herons, I know about it right out. I tell you think about. All you do is talk about how big a failure- Andrea, everyone's memorize, the total international and domestic ships. Everyone I meet knows it may do. Has I think about it gets Then me while like, but isn't it a theatres
aren't you know exactly. I think I did it out there, like a final word on my street lying there like. How much do you need? You also need to determine whether the poverty and even that is gonna, think how much better than that. I hope in this pact has a view represent its become like the number one downloaded now won't be able to make this joke. I find a way of Agnes ten years later, whatever, like the biggest downloaded movie on ideas all over, for you wrote a brutal please stop downloading is what we need is to be a failure. I adore you, so people should definitely listen too good for you and then also your netflix special people should still be watching. Can I touch it
is there anything else. People should be I'm touring. Ah, I'm doing a torment twenty two cities across Amerika in do you like touring? I love toying, oh god. I love it because it's a nice reminder that Hollywood is not America. Aha and I love being around. Not Hollywood, people are bus and I like meeting my boss yeah like seeing humans and will the two or have a name how dare how dare you ok? So people should search. Why should they go for tickets? I dont know uncle just Google agree. I think it is probable commandant by that there's. Some are scalping, now don't buy it if the tickets not be more than a hundred dollars, but my instagram, you can probably find it ok, great yeah, so good for you can. I touch of the tourists called how dare you do comedy and there's no politics in the hour which We really need say you ok. Well with me, I adore you come back while the tide of pleasure
and now my favorite part of the show the fact check, with my soul maiden Monica bad men, good morning. Monica I do I heard baby. Are you know that don't be silly B, update everyone or now cause some people saw a picture of you in the hospital nor pretty concerned about you. A lot of people are asking me about you, yeah. We can update everybody, ok cause it is an update from the pain and the bad. A year ago, while April lads it'll be a year ago in April and Vorhees, let everyone in a man, that's chair. Everyone knows that a p then, the bad a year ago and was an update. More recently we had a conversation on here cause. It was brought to my attention that on a day, on a day and on a Monica, Jes Le Boys day that may be the seizure Europe and I am shame written
Yes, because I I from the get was like big deal, you paid the bird keep a moment. I was so near dismissive that I was dismissive. That is one word use and certainly would hold up in court, but mostly I just didn't want you to worry about your health rights you thought I was. I thought it was to stand alone thing- and I was like to see if this is happens, a bunch much at times, then we can start giving concern, but I was I was wrong in I'm embarrassed I felt very sad that I hadn't been more supportive of you doing more investigation. ok, you don't need to be embarrassed or sad. I did do more, education? I already had a doctor's appointment, just an annual physical which everyone should do arm cherries. Do. Thou should even, though, turns out doesn't do very much because my stands on it. I mean away.
Blood working up, so that's always got bear. It was a new doctrine and I said you know I was here last. Here I had this Sudan to ERR is Brook Linens COD for Clinton's were so and in could tell. As I was saying ass, she was getting like like she was She was also this business and show like ok well, we would never do any further testing unless something happened more than once and so it was probably a virus which I was already like. Lady. The boy was my word: exactly do is obviously not a virus, but ok, Proprio guys classic peep heaving. So I left the nice guy that was maybe eight Tuesday and then and then my mother and I and two of our girl, for
and we went to Vienna Molly. Yes, he went to Vienna, we had the last time we had so much fine, a man after Vienna, we had two days in New York and the morning yours was to come home. I had a seizure you're sleeping when Molly I was sleeping in the bear with Molly, but we were all in the same room. Offer of a hurry to said part was Ernie funny business when you go slept together now I don't like you hook up just like bump legs or in what's bump into each of them that I can recall, but I do think they were full beds? They weren't like kings, All they were like falls. I all ok, so you guys are, but we were. I had changing the body parts that I can remember. No intersecting circles. No circles were touching the, so I and came to and Kristen was there and shoe she said. Do you know what I told you
and I said no and she said, okay, you had a seizure and then and then I looked and there was like a man there, her Mona Hama, and I guess we were the whole. I have very little memory of this whole time Anyway, we went to the hospital and they did no more. I and MRI was clear. My or a couple due to a home soon Monsieur said: Molly basically woke up. Could she heard you gonna gasp yeah then you're stiff is aboard warning we started, Google him. What to do. One thing said liked start timing yeah which mom timed it and it was about a three men in an answer yeah, so real scary. Everyone now I feel very bad that they had to move all those.
Make. You feel better than to help someone you love when they need. You know has that, because when I was in high school, a girl had a seizure in the cafeteria and I never forgot it like. I never forgot. I still have that memory sort of seared into my brain, and it was this get one of the scariest thing. have ever seen and I didn't even know her. That's gonna say you were a teen, be it wasn't your close for, but I think it's worse. If someone you care about dilemma as you some would you not love if I had a seizure help me when you feel great in that capacity I mean I would I would help you, I would want to help them when you feel like gratitude that you got to be there and help someone you love. That's a turkey quest, I mean, I would feel grateful that I was helpful, but I would not feel good that I saw you in that position. I think I would feel pretty traumatized by that. To be honest,
that's where I guess my desires like that. I would dumb build approve. Do a friend that I would be therefore them when they need a mouse. So I would look forward at the opportunity to demonstrate to you that I, like I'll, take care of you yeah, that's it! Hang gear, your sister Carly set a similar thing, voted you yeah. So oh my it, but I am so so grateful that those three were there and that they handled everything so perfectly they called the free and then they called nine when one and you know yes, so I guess I was still has a boar, and I would like us to push through. I guess Kristen thought, maybe for second than I was just like having a bad dream, so she grabbed my feet, then she like pounded my chest, really large, elaborately atoms. You sold to see how the wrench ass she she did her.
Early. We I get her shirt off a meal issues brought up in bed. It was clear that that was not my help. helping and only amount of the dream. Yeah oh, but it I'm gonna House would offer, but my eyes were rolling into the back my head and I was forming at the mouth of you. Wonder, therefore, to you well: well it some its yeah part. So anyway, though, is but the whole day at the hospital by the Good NEWS is we got to have Lee Berger said aggregate tie, ITALY were we state, an external? We got burger car. That Berger is so good a lotta people were upset at me because on Instagram I said if this was my last meal that be ok prior to
the seizure- yes, yes, then, a day later, at a seizure and so people than like that, I said that right. So I policies, but also I stand by you. Gotta pick. Alas, me exactly as we just learn from a K. His gun include dairy queen proudly, my two, I pray do Emily's burger, followed by a two pronged peanut butter bar fan of bananas. Will blizzard well. I also in New York. Try to new deserve this cake from superiority. Maybe we'll have a nice piece of gay introduced by Molly and in it two very plan average. At the side and I was like- oh no molly- we lead the these data showing off no end. It was unbelievable, vanilla, cake, but has heard this marshmallow topping no m wearing. It was unbelievable, so I might add that and my last stalled male. Who knows? I got Emily Emily Burger twice it held up to
are insanely high bar that we have criticised and spoke yeah for a year and man is delivered so good anyway, MRI was clear. Nobody, tea was clear. Yes, I dont have me too, murders I'm seeing a knowledge is tomorrow here, in LOS Angeles and but you're scared appropriately, say I hear you manoeuvring with some metro found fear for glass, days here I mean it really was out of the blue room, really go to God. What if I was alone right yeah I mean it, so weird because I was I had like this all happens and I was alone end, and I mean it was fine he may was buying. It was fine, but you didn't really have conclusive evidence that you had had a seizure because known observed at work this scenario, or how long a lousy gr everything that happened yeah
he also your honor medication, to make sure you don't have another one. Until you see the neurologist everything in the in the medications making you feel fuzzy little bit. me and I don't like it staying at our house now, which I love. I think the two that the headlines are. Second Emily burger level Sound so tell me about the big winner, selfishly yeah. I feel like vulnerable yeah hills, scared and vulnerable, and I also kind I feel like it was a before I mean I don't want to feel like this. I'm trying to nominate a right now, I'm I feel like it was a before and after like that is like a moment in my life that there was a before and now there's an STAR. Now that don't know that I'm gonna have these indefinitely
I can't drive right now. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do that. It just has in the very scary part you no, no info, you don't know it's what your futures gonna look like and that creates a ton of anxiety, normal yeah? Then you gotta go away with NGO today at an ever seizure, they're, not having one now yeah, I dont, have cancer release in the brain might have back enormous cancer men of spinal killers, Kurds who didn't check for them, but aunt one of the armchair he's said that originally originally, when I first started talking about peeing at one of the armchairs wrote that happens to Monica again, she needs to go to the er immediately cuz, I'm a spinal surgeon and that's indicative of a spinal tumor
I don't give a spinal too. I don't wanna be dismissive of it back pain. What with us from the tents clenching while you're still a boar light, is a further Well, that's the opt in the end. We love you in here I'm not being dismissed them, but I am also telling you you're gonna, be fine and have a wonderful life. I know for sure. Does again you by your house, that's true: the air gets. How can it be fine here anyway? me. Coming we make things was delaying manage she towards Africa here before it's, not that you and I have ever disliked anybody. Never, but there. Times when you're really point for a guest, and I'm like If you really want this person and then they come in and I fell in love with them, as has happened several times ahead, and that is one of the rare cases where I'm like only I would
I have witnessed our guy and then you are just in love with you, because you have heard her interviewed before and I had and whenever I wasn't, I was not Devlin not opposed to having Herbert, also took a chair and then- and she really blew us. Out of the water and she's awesome. Yes, she so cool and so insightful and thoughtful, and You posted a video yesterday and he was yesterday it's her. She is ring, oh it's her in the middle of the night standing in her driveway staring at her garage, and she said this is footage of me sleepwalk. Oh my like oh, why? You lock yourself in your room Gary speaking of that. So also, I guess the night before my seizure. I slept too oh yeah, what were you saying? I said? Oh, my god
here Europe, as maybe your many miles and miles You know Aaron talks in his sleep Secondly, I've heard him talk, I mean the volumes of my favorites was he's like dead asleep and I hear fucking, damn damn falcon big Chrome fur Dan is com. Dreams, the having about magnanimous big chrome, Ferrari, money yap anyway, so sleeps weird.
I thought right now. The comforting by have is that maybe this these seizures are connected somehow to sleep and that I can get that figured out you. Could they both happened in my sleep and I slipped the night before so maybe sometimes just alright, see: media Pia DVD, actually CBS must be really good procedures, so when will have I see I am see these names were: allows users, Watson, S, work they got around me when I tell them policy. We, the commission, but anyway yegg. So she was sleep, walking you're just staring at her garage in the Middle three in the morning after Ray yeah, I mean I wonder if she would not know that she even did that yeah. She made a back into her better what icily bog. When I was a kid I used to her boy,
demand a dream. I was in a room with no windows or doors. I fed that dream several time area, recurring and I woke up with my whole family going Dac stacks. Wake up, and I was in my brother's Room- stand on his bed, allow hanging on the wall, and that was down to flights of stairs. Use down in the make up top hearing, these a check on more to sleep, walking, If I were you, I would move because I loved you know I would have been so scared of you with your demented asleep eyes round eyes, because a cute little boy, five years, younger sources like this sport was checking. Can you imagine your sleep and you wake up and there's a small boy with the glowing wide eyes. Do that so scaring some details, Ruggles Blue eyes, cycles loosely.
beyond sleepy glassy legs and holding a knife law allow in ever now. You just don't know so she said that eighty percent of communication is non verbal and that's like a common phrase in psychology today said. How often have you heard someone say over. Eighty percent of communication is body language or non verbal. The numbers represent the percentages of importance that bearing communication channels have. The belief is that fifty five percent of communication is body language. Thirty, eight percent is the tone of voice and seven percent is the actual words spoke in a while, but it also says that this varies between people.
and one way of increasing accuracy as by applying the three cs of non verbal communication conjures the cliff contacts clusters in Congo. Ruins context includes what environment the situation is taking place in the history between the people and the other factors such as each person's role, for example, in action between Abbas and employee. Looking for non verbal communication gestures and clusters prevents us from allowing a single gesture or movement to be definitively determining a person's state of mind or emotion. Sure crossing your arms at your test can be a sign of being resistant, close minded, however, the person shoulders are raised in a teeth are chattering, they might just be cold Tal, shivering, tat, the other versions, finally
congruent do spoken, words match the tone and body language after someone falls as a verbally state. They are fine, however, their faces grimacing in their voice, a shaky you might want to probe a little deeper, broad or the nursery home feeling. How are you feeling really home will carry sure a hundred percent? Oh ok. They need a tissue. No ok, I'm gonna give you one anyway you're cold water on your face, all the frontiers of answers sad one asked me home how you doing. off so sad, yeah, ok,
that wars romance wayward way way. Where's the fucking, saddest stated a basket case. Yes, the origin of basket case. Originally, U S slang denoting a soldier who had just lost all four limbs, thus unable to move independently dykes, blessing someone who loses all forelimbs needs. here is a catch, for them is leading to be transported in a basket. I'm as you think of anyone deserves. Not very nice denies have amended language, it would be them their non. Verbal communication is to radically reduce dear diminished. Here you can leave very much based on their torso, only a tartar okay, so she talks about a horse pulling all the lives and you
all that quarter, roaming, quartering yeah cornering, is cutting and hacking par away. Onboard give us the cornering, is just disappear. Map dis in Bam Burma on four December, Bobby. Is this dismember? Oh, my god, my God, that's journalism, ice easier! Not again Oh he's gonna. Blame me to my gun, blame all my stuff on medication to mortgage providers anyway, concerning quartering too caught and hack apart. His entire body into four pieces and thus be punished to death, and such four parts are to be hanged on stakes publicly on for common thoroughfares. Yes, so it's just like getting ripped apart. Basically so could happen by the horror
grab them by the grandmother to some parts of this horse. Arming I can we can I get you to give a public shout out. I imagine he listens. Ok, but you and I love this art the poorest la my guy he's. Basically, the mark Rabelais are he's such a pervert. Yes in our Brandon Pervert, oh my god, his instagram is so special. It's all cartoon drawings, real, rudimentary, yeah, real Purvis, the couldn't be purveyor, you love yet so I reached out to poorest Walker, and I got an original Pisa artwork from articles- knew how this in some are for me, as in its and I asked him, can I suggest what you drawing wanna be disrespectful do shrank back and he said absolutely away, ideally would have to do a cheerleading and ideally being caught by the post after this is perfect. and then, when he sent, you can only be described as a masterpiece. Oh my goodness, it even its interactive
As a pole, down in the frame yeah there's a flap in that cheerleaders in the air at the beginning, and then you pull the flap down and she starts lowering now and then she swallows the whole spotter he disappeared where's into her heel. I think about how you catches her by the poor. He questioned whether those within he disappears and such like a well thought out manner. Yeah. He took it right over the top. He really did it's such a special case of our outpost picture. I was brave enough to ass the year we get caught by the but whole or the posts. Of course he went a step further if you ever swallowed a rather you're on your own and other might have happened in the history of cheerleading, proudly guess: anyways spectacular masher, where you hang in your home, like a clause that I'm gonna make it dedicated realm two per Venus
and I'm gonna hang them in a hang, my beautiful painting of the Baltic. cowboy, when regional, original liquid dab and my white elephant I received day painting of an octopus that is made a penises, aha so all those gotta go in one space, probably in the same space where the p baby, let's see, are young, and can I also recommended that be the room you do God doses of mushrooms and that something that might be a little money. I can do mushrooms now. That's probably something off the table thing so see. Ask Europe, but you know how it is reassuring. That's another thing I'm not supposed to Well, I'm not drinking right now and I hate her.
Hey! That's all I want to do I wanna, dear colleagues, we are talking about my windows on pills, it's always running in the back yard. Oh yeah, I can't wait to go to he's with you will be so far. Why not drinking, yeah. I just want to be really badly. Oh, yes, it is can do something. I also want to be driving really bad long, as you have been doing since you're, twenty one o thou. So by all things five day. Six days now has it was Saturday morning, sun them so Saturday's day Monday, word day, great them
I am inclined to say that, as long as you know, I don't think you would have wanted to this bed before may have no reason updates only cause. I can't I think, if I just was- and I dont think I'd be thinking too hard about it, but I've been told you can't do it right. Unlike what, if I can't ever gonna say you can't jog anymore Ok, to trick you and that's fine, you canny broccoli, while I did think about that cause Christen went to policies and I Hey go into that pilates caused me. I aids, an amazing pilates class, and I do is vulgar attributes soon oh hard, and so I never want to go and she went yesterday and I was like I can't go. You wanted yeah early on that, but I couldn't tell you not exercise now,
but that's gonna run, and I don't think I should do that kind of intense is really intends. I don't think I should do it any of that till I get at least see the neurologist senior right anyway. Okay, so Roseanne in the Trump call that was the president called her I congratulate her on the success of the dead. You, yes and the call was confirmed by White House Press secretary, sir. How can be sanders? Tromp was thrilled with the sitcoms huge ratings and also wanted to thank bar for her support. The comedian is vocal, Trump supporter as her character in the Rose M reboot. In an interview with good morning, America, bark and from the call herself sing, it was pretty exciting. I'll tell you that much. So that's what that was greater. One were good talked about. I don't know what it was like. He had a food tip for her. No, you try knowing about it.
Can't call ostensibly to say like good job at all, but the news I give you try out labour version. Three of your tv should have you tried I want it right now to what's road writer, your face. We told everyone about- box. It arrived it arrived and there was a mouse a massacre. Is actually really well packaged Was it a hamburger or was it a stake? There was a hammer it looked like it was gonna, be so man. I mean the fact that I had to throw then the garbage it was the largest thing I remember had to do. when compared to when you drop cocaine and carpet. Oh my god, it's gone. What am I gonna? Do fucking snored the carpet in between the hairs and went ass? They sat by it. I did keep the clouds.
I wash them twice and millions of mine builds growth. Yes, Sir Kay around with great anyway did american beauty when they cadmium word. Yes, two thousand best pitcher Christina Hendricks hand on the sir. Yes in and hand very exciting, you said american beauty. Thorburn says the worst thing you can be as boring, but quote is I don't think if there's anything worse than being ordinary code, ordinary and its means safari its not the rubber Gowk Debts Ah, that's all. I love you and I look forward to your updates from tomorrow's impure. Everyone will allocate everyone, ok and I think it means can be fine meteor. I love you.