Next, as a bonus presentation of the one and worst in special Trevor Noah presents Josh Johnson Hashtag the daily show, is sponsored by free guy, storing Ryan, Reynolds and Jody Comber, only in theatres August, thirteenth, free guy tells the story of Guy a bank teller who discovers he's a background player and an open world video game now allow are content with being a background, player guy is determined to write his own story, save as virtual world and become hero of the game, get your tickets. to see this epoch adventure only on the big screen see free I starring Ryan Reynolds and Jody Comber. Only in theatres August, thirteenth.

her eyes were to arise. The debate must recover now good appraisals- again, oh my god, you're all we'll be made o me.

So great to be with all of you, this is incredible, is absolutely amazing because we did it. We live I'm alive, they I'd, think I'd make. It aims, call when I'm just now the survivor, that's not how everybody I know would describe me Are you a year before the pandemic right fully before the paid out walking in the Europe? Does look at the sky, love in my life cannot be happy and I stepped off the cur. That's all this happened so far. I stepped off the curve and I stepped on a bar. Ok, is there not a dead bird? Ok, this bar was also walk around that may teach it love. It is life we just collided with nature humanity. What's as us

there are the bird, the bird and I freaked out and the bird and I made the same noise. That is that so by that survives a global pandemic. If you can match the pitch of a pigeon out of fear than no, no one is checking for you and the man MAX movie. I you died in the first five seconds in that montage about what went wrong with the world's as you at a bar like like that's how it ends This is insane you global pandemic. Last year was crazy because, as the worst thing that ever happened that happened that everybody that's while, even happened in the world wars and their name after the world, you know that

A country like we seem to be working to thing out over there's became a little. We all need to be tested up. Some people thought The end of the world I'm pretty sure that in all their chaos, in all that uncertainty in all their fear, somebody somewhere definitely ate up.

Soon and we need to talk about it. Ok, if more likely that it happened in that it didn't happen. You can't tell me out of seven billion people know by were strong enough and dumb enough not to eat somebody to quick. Ok, did you get arrested this year like ok, I'm the only one way, somebody I am go. How was I suppose not that do this? Do we get the crunch, I'm going to say some both car just say so: nobody. The light Dave. Ok, that's why it took so long to catch. The virus. Check today will go, go check of today's ass. They sat mouse catches, guys say so. Belthrop wit

He's little guy me he was a little dry. I gotta go to jail of a meal that, whenever good of adieu that nobody like where's the justice he was a one stop meal. Ampere said all right. The daily show with Trevor Noah is supported by expensive, FI. Expensive keeps money moving more Ten million people around the globe use expensive eyes, pre accounting platform to reimburse expenses manage business credit cards, generate invoices, pay bills and planned trips from one easy to use up whether you're working for yourself management team or closing the books for your clients. Expensive I'd makes it easy, so you have more time to focus on what really matters download the app or sign up at expensive I'd dot com slash the daily show. Today the thing that bothers me now there's vaccines and there's hole.

Game plans for how we're gonna attack this thing, their people that want to act like they knew gonna be ok the entire time they want. Like they were cool the whole time and that bothers me It makes me mad. You know, There's more like we ve, never seen anything like this before to go before now. This natural everybody was at least a little bit panicked you know how I know that

food run in March member who were more people, but was the end of the world, and they ran past the food to the toilet paper. They thought we were all gonna die. They re a pass the cheese nets to what they were gonna wipe there, but what there's never been a better everybody there's never been a better add robot David. A soccer. My punch, you know, lady in the face, was in sharp. She hit the ground, ladys rudder within, or even the best got bears like. You knew Ok come on some people. There were quarantine, with their whole family, the entire time. You know

seven people like to bear to rouse. Let's say it happens Society crumbles. The investor She fails is Starting people there but there were just looking at their fattest cousin. Like is gonna, be you what you gonna do run? No it's too late for that policy diabetics. I know we don't be sweet. Ok, like I was a line for you. We ve been in people for four minutes strain of each people, jobs. A diabetic was where you were like none. If they it's like cake dependent definitely indefinite made me glad that I. Grow black in America

he's nothing here. You were pandemic in America, like in black irregular american. Similarly, what way way way? What's that you say food scares, medical attention is hard to come by and jobs in the community are being lost by the thousands was is a tool that even now, even now that we have a vaccine and there's a lot at the end of the tunnel, is a lab like people, dont want take it, and Stan, I do get it, they don't want, take it because of history is just not on science aside, we ve been experiment at all before, and we remember, but I will say answered Vaccinated,

That's where so many bicycle Africa HAZMAT very incredible. Ok I'll take it, but I am fully backdated. I would tell all I tabled. I know in my life and out of it that this is the and again and notes. Wanna get caught. I didn't want to give it to us right away. Don't get me wrong if you're just out play basketball, it's a white beard and white coats, just walk like would you kids, like some free medicine, then yeah no, no back away, but there were whole states there are like which your turn nigger. That's how you know it's the good stuff, I'm sorry

The truth is tat. We. I know last year was scary. It was some people's people's war. Fears came true last year, there's some people worse, fear in their entire life is loose in their job and not be able to provide for their family, and that happened this people whose, worse fear in their entire life, is gains dick and being a burden on the people that they love. When that happened, I had my worst fear in my entire life come true. Last year

to be stuck in my hair. I know it does I like it matches up. Let me explain personal, I'm definitely allergic. Ok, I'm death. If I get stuck, I will die me plus. Be equals dead. Ok, that's the quick bad for you and this thing came in hot

it shot in my hair, like it belong there and at first try, to wit my hair back and forth, try to get it out that didn't help at all. It just got it more stock. So now I run up the people screaming for help, but there is no quicker way to look. Schizophrenia then run out to people screaming for help, and they can't see the threat so now run enough to white people in the park. Ruining taken next step in and people's passed, all I'm slip and enormous fail and snapped a whole shark uri bore no. What I should have done. I should have what I should have run up and should be like: hey, I'm so sorry, but if I could get your attention for just a second there's a bee in my hearing, I'm deadly allergic. If you can help me out, thou, be a literal lifesaver. Ok, I was too

for any of that, so I just ran up. Although like it's a? U S, Aurettes, it's gonna kill me forgot to measure up top that what I slipped- the harbours, our role by echo, so I did it. Get to run a bother regular. I was rather Bob like its Gansu Aurettes. It's gotta came back people were running away from me. I was there ever was absolutely horrible. The same thing that bother me the most the thing that really Dress me out even broke my heart. A little bit was this

the one tat, the one tat it entire life. That I needed why people to such my hair and they were nowhere to be found. I wasn't asking how was big. I was like I'm gonna and they were like. No, no, I know better. I learned about this hour. I went to bed surgeon, I gotta get big here, so I took a sensitivity, class where's, the twitter sponsors for the daily show comes to you from Norton three sixty with lifelong. It feels like everything do online comes with some risk buying. A paradox online sounds simple enough, but then the online store wants as much personal information from you as possible. What does your credit score? I color

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It didn't bother me before the definitely bother me now really upset me like, I'm done with horoscopes you can re yours, but don't worry me my ok as I I'm done, because the to us cared for me now, you'll find love and loves place when loves ready to do loves thing, you think, wow. You basically just said someone's gonna happen. Eventually, that's your prediction. I will just rather Horoscope with less words that would make me happy. I would rather open up a newspaper go down to where it says. Pisces Edges says: don't I'm sure I was gonna. Some done that day. The other reason I'm done with them. is because you know.

He was born, thereby here's got Assign whether you believe it or not, everyone has won right, every buys, Horoscope miss a global pandemic. It was cover whether you, like it Lee or Libra or like the scales or the dolphin, ended the dog. Whatever it is, it was common, no matter what so I still people who have the nerve to really by horoscope link. It says something very special was on the way for you really goodness and Mass got March meeting. There will still be mysterious. I had a hard time, then locked down, I really did in quarantine. It was hot really really hard, because it made a liar out of me. It did

because I have always said entire life Just have the time oh, if I had the time, learn other language. I'd get ripped, learn how to build a house turns out. If you love me in my room for nine months, I won't do any of those things which is. Rather, why

Stevie until I fall asleep in secession. I watch tv and fell asleep so many times that the only way that I knew if I was if I woke up with the Rio dust on my colleague, waken up middle the data of mud, that became my life. My life just became screens knots. it was either my phone on my computer or my tv nonstop. I was either on the internet, are watching something and it got to be alive It got to the point where I knew I needed to take a break So I decided to do it. I put a put everything down at turned everything off: just sat in my room, how it just sit and I would think, try to be alone with myself and a quiet place like Sus myself out To know what I'm really about in here, and that was a tear,

a mistake. It was. There was a terrible. It was the day while the dumbest things I've ever done in my life. First of all, I'm just. sit and think it I'm not think after reading, think you're ass thoughts. These aren't good thoughts, AEGIS things. I normally be too distracted by tv to think and they were real down, and that was heart breaking. It was always talk about just send thought. I come up with a theory or something and I'll sit there like. Oh, my god, all these things are done and done. Don't pay to find out. That last thing was real dumb and I'm only want all key. That's what happens recently

HU I too, take break. I knew it because I got to the point where, I wasn't sure if I knew who I was. when there wasn't a screen in front of my face now because I know it sounds bad to say, but is an online me and theirs in person me I know it sounds fate to say that. But it's true, you know scared that the online version is better. I am because Online are trotted out: try to educate people, you know, update, I'd, take up for People that had dont know I fight for causes that believe in. But a real life ass, My friend August jumped- and I was like he probably days- ass young ass, my business,

Ashley, wouldn't be threeam if he didn't do it, if you don't deserve it let me turn around. I like him, scream my name like this. I want to be involved online. I try to educate people that I feel like or being ignorant, but you know what dont, do in real life way like I don't know where I get off talking down to people cuz, I got a keyboard in front of it online people. I dont know to keep following their dream. Ok, I tell me you can do it out of they can do what I can tell you that they can do it. Ok, and in real life I gave a street performer money to stop. I was online and I saw this guy. making fun of this kid for being too

skinny because he puts it to work out video and there was this big, do making fun of em right, and so I told him hey. If you won't get your ass be come this address. And in real life I gave my buddy Sean's address. How was I suppose, nobody's going to other people best. the daily show with Trevor Noah and the following message- are brought to you by price line at price line They believe every trip is a big deal, whether your reuniting with old friends, finally, meeting that new family member or booking a sunny get away. It should be easy to find a great deal on your trip in price line, makes it super easy when you're right to travel price line will help you save, in fact they can save you. To sixty percent off your favorite hotels in they even have exe

loose of deals on flights and rattled cars to now is an important time to save, and you can get huge savings on travel. When you book with price line, they say every trip is a big deal and that suit EC right now there are few things that feel as good as knowing you save money, saving you money on travel is price lines for day. They ve been doing it for over twenty years and save people over a billion dollars a year on travel, so visit price lying to get a big deal on your next trip, get exclusive savings now, with price line dotcom or in the price line, app. Does also relearning. be in the world. I was awful, before, but I'm insufferable now I am, I am off the year out of practice from being weird like I go, I go. I go on walks and I remember

I left the house for this walk right and while I was on it, I bumped into a guy and weed to each other hark both just war paying attention, and when I bumped into my mealy, whipped around to apologize. When I turned around, he was standing there and Gun had fallen out of his waistband as well. What did the gun- and I looked at it- and he looked at the gun. He looked at and here's they I was raised in the South rights I was raised to be polite. I was raised to you know, make people feel comfortable ass a born everything so out of pure instinct. Although I built down to pick up this bay as good about half way down, I was like looming up them up.

Your prince on this loose gun. He didn't even have a whole store. I'm sure he's gonna do some illegal with this guy s largest back up and he knelt down, and he picked it up. In his waistband and we just stared at each other, and then I went. Evening evenings were about Billig by Skippy, would issue a boom. Adored me As I was on walk because that's all I do now

Leave the house of walk till I get tired and then come home and fall asleep and walk again. I'm basically mound own you're logged out. What else could you do? That was all you can go pro everything was closed and so I was on this work and I actually got to see a public proposal and I saw this guy stemmed from this woman and he took a step back and now the ring out, he parted open asked her to marry him. and then she, hidden in the hair with a rock. I am now relationship expert that things like a hard. No that's fast pass right thing. Are you now and I'll know them? I know, what's going on with the made things, so I just had insert somethin for myself and if on bananas,

last year, a lot of people moved in together, real quick. They were like this. It is the end of the world on that pay into rents, arms. Let's just live together, where I like you enough, will survive so people partner up and maybe that's what happened to them. They partnered up early in the pandemic and every day He fell more and more in love with her and every day. She got sicker and signal you month to their sitting at the breakfast table Major look, an area. Just thinking is not saying it's out loud he's thinking, while. the world may never be normal again. The world may be changed for ever. As we know it acts to be sitting across most beautiful woman. This This amazing woman that XIV and eats q-

leader inner cereal little bites. She uses to queue and issues. And across from him. Thinking this month and watch me to like him. Look in deep amalgamate there that is weird is making. I want my food anymore, soon the Landau watch a movie together here both her hands in his hands and he's just thinking like look at this these little hands these data? Little heads, cute as hands in the world and then she's thinking

this clammy been even giddiest hands is: do you wash its hands where he sat down to watch the movie? My answer sulky wet, why the sap and when I got a couple water, my here right now from his weak lingers up against my hands. Maybe that maybe they're on a walk or something maybe actually apples go out and do a thing you know not much is open, but maybe they go to like a froyo your place or something there, even together in his eye The move fro. You know what I can't wait tomorrow, I'm going to it asked beautiful woman to marry me, and I it down a one knee and ass. This angel to make me the happiest man in the world. And she was sitting there thinking.

it is Here- was a little lower than I can not be clean. All back a crack is damn cerebellum. If he gave me the chance, because I should mention out over measured it up top, but when she had him in the head with a rock, she didn't pick up the rock she has had a rock on her. She was just re, the hidden in the here. What Iraq, as he was to propose bulges walking all day with a rocket they're back pocket in hers was, is bigger I should point out. I was the only one who saw this. You know like it with public proposal. A crowd gathered around we were on people start to clap. Is proposal got collapse, but it only got to collapse because people saw him kneel and they even start they like. That is so we should make our businesses.

The daily show in the following message are brought to you by free guy only in theatres August thirteenth, in this epoch, action venture, storing, Ryan Reynolds Free Guy tells the story of Guy a bank teller, who discovers he's a background player in an open world videogame guy, no longer satisfied with being a background player is now determined to write his own story. Save his virtual world and become hero of the game, see a world with no limits and endless possibilities, also story Jody Comber Joe carry law well, Howard, boot, Carson Boot Car and take away TT, see a world with no limits and endless possibilities. You can't buy it and you can't stream at you, can only see it in theatres, get tickets now and get the big screen experience. see free, guy, starring, Ryan, Reynolds and Jody Comber. Only and theatres August thirteenth. Trot, take a break from I follow. You know what I really missed

I did it was like I heard it was weird it's hard to even explain. You know it's where its when it occurred to me that no one ever love anyone. as much as you love your phone. I know it How sad to say, but is true. It is I've had conversations of people deep, long conversations? Well like while right now in this moment, I think I'm making a friend for life of open up to this person more. They have opened up to anyone in years and eventually they do just pull out their fallen and start check in some and that's supposed to be rude, but it's not through the following is better it is. You can do anything you want on the phone and I'm just YAP and about my parents, divorce. They brought the following. This is way better than what was happening two seconds

going. He is a man. I'd drop my phone sometimes I don't one else here does, but about the noise. Is you make when you almost drop your father? The true heart, breaking noise is that you make it had even hit the ground you got just slip into. One finger is still in your hand. I mean it it's coming from deep in here it's coming from the heart. You wouldn't made it more its biological in you to make that noise, you're dropping your baby. think of the noise as we make when we see actual car accidents. This mess-

about, thereby, ok, I'm terrible, you see all should be reversed, cause truly drop my phone apple do all five stages of grief. I really do a drop it hit. The ground denial That's that's! That's! That's not crack. This is a hair I western Sahara and suicide, wiping Oblebee Gucci, ok, my father's five did not just Bess. Above all, just now, I'm good good anger I just want this phone right outside apostolic standing upon its six seconds, got cashier. Still, look at me the place they! Why even at me- and I ll- drop this well, do these brutal fingers bargaining

it is the case that the catch that's the case. Whole job is to be like the secret service of the farm and take the hits for the false. That's where it just like a little soldier. It took that a crack. My phone is fine, though depression. My ex was right I'll handle responsibility. That's why she laughed and honestly, I think she made the right move acceptance. You know what I just don't deserve. Nice things work I've given Nokia like deserve and invest more people now now things are open, Up and stuff and I went to visit one of my friends who I haven't seen since before any of the pandemic, no I'm assuming a whole year and he lives with his mom, his dad his grandma and his cousin. And was so good to see. All of them hang out a little bit catch up, and

But while I was there now, she had while I was basically my boys, grandma gotta crush I'll be out what to do about it, and I heard a couple hours. This is not a hallmark russia. This woman has carnal intentions towards my by me. Ok she's not mess around ok, I was I was. I was hanging out there at first of all. She waited here by leave the room they hit me. Yes, I know she a predator, ok, you wait till she could make any says she say right so that everybody left room for a different reason. She got right up all be just about face all over me and I tried to lay down easy. I try and make a scientific about the pandemic. You know I was like male MA am

We should social distance because you know right now: I'm not vaccinated you're, not vaccinated. Ok,. And you're in a high risk demographic. I would hate for something to happen to you. what I say and then she went. Our swedish, I'm high risk and how reward so I just My buddy like glue anywhere he went is where I went at the house. Just I was. I was right behind them everywhere. He went. I just didn't want to be left alone with her again cuz that lady she's aggressive okay. And I'm not gonna lie she all

but I think she facon it cause she's all but she's fast, because we would leave the room ass. She would be in the room with us at all an hour to arouse. She just be right behind me. What are you running? How are you doing this But she was behind the issue pledge by bus and coach and bus. Is that all lady sexual harassment? The nobody cares about you know, even if I tell people should be, I will she's. Eighty five, you should have a faster ass, it just move, but she did my by their whisper, thereby ear you firm, like my mattress play- oh my god, oh my god, I am going to leave as so. I left and I don't know how. But she got my number. I think she got out of my buddies fall where he would pay the tetra as

it's been sending me. Nonstop bars traps. Ok, but their granted powers trap socialist picture the food that she cook, but still still there is a new window involved. You know: she's the picture of a cobbler the text to be obdurate, act break you. if you want to come off, I'm going to throw my phone in the river bank. This way bore than I love myself. Starbucks cold drew theirs like it especially come summer, when your bouncing from bike rides the beach trips, the backyard barbecues, it's the bold, smooth, ice, cold coffee, taking up their powers your summer day, find your happy place at Starbucks order ahead on the app I just want people to be happy, I feel like we can be happy if we get out of our way by guy

I have friends who were in trying to date in New York, stuff in specially female friends will talk to me about there apples tried date night, pardon city, printing, the age of the Alps and everything- and You can have one friend she came to me with this Stan was the list of everything that she was. In a guy you I told her honestly cause I care about her and Egypt. Make that list in the train borrowed it. We have to have that will help. You forget the memory I'll, tell you right now, there's only three things: there's only three, attributes that you can. for in a guy that you're gonna make a partner there's only three unit.

To pick two ok take to those three. Whichever too, you can live with and move, because you're not gonna get all three I hated for you, but it's not. I'll go over them right now. There's good dick good person gotta shit together, you need a pig to those who travel to work for you and move on and if he has one leave, one ruin your life, just one

Firstly, I have friends complained to me about their ones and I'm falling asleep listenin to the story, because it just boring as well. You told me you had one to begin with. So what are we really talking about? It he's just good person, don't have good, do don't ever shit together, just a good person. there's a room like this now coming out on the whig is gonna museums on a wider wars more. It is just good dig just to dig now the person don't let me sit together. Just good dig

that's literally a builder, that's what it is worth stressing mega mode of his dick in his sleep and nobody vibrator back at the shoreline. Even come about, they like it's, not gonna happen. If you treated like what its form you're, not gonna, get all three and I hate it for you. I really do sincerely. And every time I have this conversation with with my friends: sometimes they they get said not every time. Sometimes they do get upset and there like no

No, he is all three. No, no! He s all three. I know I feel it. I feel it here and now he has all three. If you, We think he has all three he's: gonna kill you murderer, putting on a facade assure all thirty three without TED Bundy had all three. You know I know, and tat is just nice. You know it's just nice to meet a guy that, like has a shit together as a lawyer, and everything like knows how to noses way round. The bedroom knows how to listen. Why you look at me like that, like that's how it went every time Joe. You wonder what bothers me. What really upset me. What even scares me a little bit

no, which too I now get to decide. You know, there's another person's decision about me. I'm scared we lay back with my girl years from now right years from now just lay back we're talking about this, not lean over tour and MIKE I'm I'm dick and a good person right and she's. You have a great job support for the daily So with Trevor Noah comes from Mayo me wines from diversity.

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Mayo me wines, a camp of California luxuries, tough, because I also lost people. We all did to a certain degree laws, people and some of the people that boss, like I, had a friend who passed away and people wait during the height of infection, so we couldn't gather, we couldn't go. I'll be together and morn him properly, and so we We had have a zoom funeral. I know you ve been to assume meeting but this had all the awkwardness of asean meeting. But it as a funeral. It was terrible because it if you look at a real funeral right, we're all facing-

body were all collectively face in the same direction. Looking at the body and on zoom we are facing each other and I'm not gonna lie another by looks upset enough for me: ok, there's some people, screens or blue and, like you play and cyber talk, I can already tell why you blew. Nobody else is blue. There was what do those each of you no longer meet the chips, jobs that they take it because they make a noisy the chips, completely muted issues, pressure, Pringles, preacher point, as I know you at your house, but there's a funeral was horrible. people didn't know they weren't, muted, one do that was like is a pillow knows,

Willie. I told you really don't look at you almost brainwashing you're, gonna love. They got him almost, although they must have their lives here, go and then bear me my best airborne we're, gonna, muted, I'm not muted. Got on their here's. The thing was at least one family member. There was allowed to be at the funeral home with the preacher with the body in everything, and they said that he, each to a really Lifting sermon especially if you grew up Christian or something you started the things we ve all her before you got up their act like it was a fool house, even though it was just a webcam and one and he was like seat c c c. The Willy nilly Willie maybe day. We already know that we not really did ok,

This body is dead, he saw his sow. His soul was up there with over Dame are this: how is with the one? That is what the wandering Willie out there doing do more water? Would Jesus right now really will be able to get up in the clouds? No, no suffering, ok, really in a better place now willing, maybe dad I, but he is not gone. I sure. But his connection had a lack So all we heard on our end was willing.

dad that about sums it up it s, pretty we really good for the best, then I'm gonna die, not now one with a long life and everything, but still like, eventually we're done and I say that because I feel I feel at least I don't know, but I think that I'm a good person- and I do the best to make the world as good of a place as I can for the people that I meet you know If I heard someone I try to fix it,

if someone is heard already, I try and make them feel better. You know I just want to help, and I think I think, I'm as progressive as you can get. I don't know. Maybe. But give me eighty years, I'm sure, hit a wall somewhere, it happens to everybody everybody gets. What they act like there's this huge like there's there there's this huge battle between the two, relations and there's not issues. Medicine got too good so people there were nice and then should a dad are still alive and very upset, saying terrible things and better than anybody I could be one of whom you know. I know people who martians all Rights movement right for equality. Just be able to have what someone else has by virtue of being a person, and they got dog sit down. at the ship beat out of them. Ok,

even with some of them just some, but even with some of them if you bring a marriage equality there like, let's not get crazy, Let's not get crazy what we're What were you doing it for them sixteen year over their whole, enhance hold the line sitting in sing and we shall overcome who would have thought your grandson would have to overcome you. You know what tell me I'm wrong is true. I want to find out what my line is like just be that That was nice to everybody and then he D. Sounds like a pretty good. Life goes on Super progressive guy now, but give me eighty years I'll find a thing. I won't even do it on purpose. Just won't did it. You know automobile person as one, Stan, I know what it is now, but it's coming

back back and I can take a guess. What is is gonna be robots. It will I get too good is not to love when I put in a body and then there's walkin around amongst us that everything and then years later my granddaughter brings home a robot thanks given- and I like it- I like it at all and now that all races their potential in nice, young man, could be more respectful of my house right. But I'm still there saying all the racist stuff Lena my granddaughter like- you can fuck em, but don't Merriam River tweet

medicine to dinner. My pay SIRI pass the salt grandpa. Let me say that that's their work, I am bear the word. I beg you get to say no Our dinner was so why you're here grandpa like a blunder, certain grey what his grandfather

a blunder, ok and they kept him in the house. They worked them to death and then they threw amount when it got old. Lizzie was in the house. You know one why these outside robots, like one like it, was a lot more sub me and have it that art we do not for you people gotta watch you every day we are doing, but I do it. They do you think they like the work. Baiting complain now, every every week I can go anywhere without you guys, marching time back bought lies matter. What I ve been, die and nobody says within our love about telling their job is that in it,

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Whereas a comic it feels like there's another level, it feels like you to do two things you have to both give people permission to laugh and make them laugh. A very tense time were a lot terrible things are being said, but allow people don't mean to say terrible things. I love people are worried about what people think if they say something in it, it's tents, and so you have to both. you have to give people permission like hey here right now. We might as well be family, we're having a good time and I'm sure my thoughts with you and I hope you enjoy them and if you don't understand, but I want to open up the floor and give you permission to have the best time passport, the things that I'm setting and then you have to give people so good enough to laugh at. I say that. because this next thing telling you. I want you to have a good time with, because idea

I was visiting one of my friends and over endemic, he he got a bar which is where our about it is I gave the he'd you lives at a studio, it, the biggest bird I've ever seen any now his apartment is a quarter. Bird is just it is cumbersome. It is reversed by Angelou in their disburd upset Nobody is having a good time, it's weird, because it was out of him to see a majestic creature and be like love. I can't be outside, neither can you, but he did. He got it this bird as apparent. I know it is apparent, but is the biggest parrot I've ever seen in my entire life and why I was hanging out his place at one point. It went to the bathroom and we went to the bathroom. I think I do

no, I can't be certain, but I'm almost sure that, while he was in the bathroom, the parrot. Serbian were and, although I wasn't sure about picked up on it at birth because I didn't say it like a due to say it like a bird unama sitting there on my phone, I hear. That wasn't it, but it was quite had all but notes a bit it. You know, but I was I know, I'm tribute I just went back to me phone enamored like that with that one might have been spot on. I think he trying to tell me some, but maybe he's warmonger Dumont, fight a bird and went back to my, shook it off and then the third one by one,

I'm staying on. It then was like MIKE Das, and when I turned around he was looking at me. I'm like he is clearly doing this. but it was where I know what to do our part and because a crackers, their whole thing anyway, the daily However, no ears edition is brought by the twenty twenty one for Bronco sport. Have you ever been off road adventure I'm not available, gravel on Asylum Freeway? I'm talking about dirt road maybe been climb in a few rocks. If this is the type the adventure your seeking this year, the twenty twenty one for Brussels Sport DAS, the issue be there, get you there take your adventure and travel with ease,

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I've, only mention the internet a couple times. I think I think it's important to point out that the internet All it is, isn't amplifier, you know when I want that came along it changed everything has changed the world as we live in it. It change what we care about. It change our priorities, all that stuff, but all it really is deep down to its former. It's an amplifier. If you won't do it's gonna help, you do more good than you ve ever done in your entire life. You can reach people that you never could have. Otherwise, if you want to evil is gonna. Take you to a darker place than you could ever a match like for the good things right as for example, there was a little girl. Some of you may have even seen the story there. There was a little girl that was eight years old and she had brain cancer, and parents didn't have a lot of money and they didn't have the best insurance. so as Americans,

we're gonna let her die. That is what we do here, all right, she obviously being eight and having a bad brain and not having money, was irresponsible. She should have pulled herself up by her seven year old bootstraps and made enough money to support her dumb cancer branding right. That's can dogma. Ok, so we were gonna, let her dad, but she said no, no, I'm not going to die. I now without a fight, she decided to sell lemonade, she's gonna, sell them and aim to raise money for her surgery right, which is adorable but sweetie. That's not gonna cut it. Unless you are charging champagne levels for this lemonade or have child soldier factory levels other being pumped out of produced you're not gonna, make it I'm sorry but ass. She was sound, eliminate every person that she soul

a cup of lemonade to she told her story. She told them why she was selling the lemonade and then those people start to tell people and then some Facebook Instagram Twitter, someone started Gofundme for this little girl and then she blew the amount of money that she needed for a surgery out of water right, just great that's amazing, that's the power of the internet, that's the ability to connect, we all of acts to each other. We can make impact the changes, those lives you know, but there is also a bad sign. We all know it. When I was in high school there was this group kids that they were cool and I'll I don't like that. They like me, but they terrified. because all they ever did was prank each other and it was like it was like to hardcore core and it was really mean any weirdly always brought them closer together, but it terrified me in

They were heinous to each other, but it somehow just strengthen their Bonn. So glad that they liked me, but I We in the group. I was for of them. It was two guys and was two girls and normally like the coming of age story, would tell you that there are going to hook up, but that's not what happened Everyone in the group had a difference. difficult other outside the group, except for one girl. Her name was Beth and was hot. for best defiance find because she was too intense. She was alive She just she always felt the need to up the ante, taking farther than they should go She met a guy. but a guy on the internet. and they hit it off immediately. She thought he was Q. They are the same sense of humour they, want to go of travel, the same places. every day she would come to school. She would tell us about this. She would tell us away. I know he so cool

like him. So much and here's what we talked about everything and they Friday came and on four Then she told me that he wants to meet on Saturday. I told her. Oh don't do that. That's terrible idea, because I should point out this is an online dating in twenty twenty one. This is online dating in two thousand, and eight ok what did twenty one there's biospheres mutual, France's pictures from multiple angles. It thousand eight all you were getting with online dating was a description that was hopefully accurate enough to get the police, I told her no don't go. I should point out. this gotta give her an address to come to.

He said meet me in this neighborhood. Do this our group s door and I was like you actually making it too easy to kill. You do not go. That sounds like a murderer. Ok, but she she was young and she was in love, and so she went. She went to their neighborhood through that alley through that door and when she walked the door it was a funeral home, she was so can you. Who's, she was looking around everything. She walked around the whole funeral home and she saw that the there are only one funeral and it was his. And she was so confused. She was looking at him. Look in his family in everything understand it. Gotta call on or phone, and it was friends and they

you see they found this dude picturing the obituary, and so they took it and they made at all my profile with it, and then they found her and then they just chopped it up. They just chatted and they can't because they know her so well. They obviously could make her fall instantly in love with this guy. They know all the things that she likes. They know where sense of humor in all the places that she wants to travel when she gets out of high school. You know and so they had her, come there on a Saturday Valentine's day by the way come see. The dead body of this do she had fallen in love with that is How dark the internet That is what happens when we,

access to each other. We can change. each other's lives for the worse, I know right now you feel bad for Beth. Don't she got em back over the core, of a decade. She back. All of their dad's told you. She was intense, felt. The need of the anti does not all she did

She married one and we as they don't know that still part of it. Maybe she loves this man or maybe she's like you got me good in high school and now I'm your mom right, you out of the will harm them. Just Johnson thanks. So much had been making a huge mistake, if I didn't say an extra thing right now so alive. You can't know we do. This thing was to happen a year ago, and

Has the pen and we had to hold it and hold it- won't, do it in a way, the main everybody safe and if bikes, job, good, and so I I know I'm up here, but I'm not the only one that put a lot of work and, alas, when tiers of people who could even be your night, they have to lie. Do men from airlines or hobo have lagged doping. I was Barman but like, but please I want you to give it up for calmly central giver, via account even afraid. Your director, all the amazing people, kept us, say tonight, every person after Mass God you all this and one last thing I this visit. Been so important to me. It's been one the most important things in my life rob watching coming century- I grew up watching specials and so now to have one is dab solely in saying it's. It's a dream

come true- and you are all part of that, and and and I want Thank you so much for being here and for being part of it. You mean that to me, you really do and in an honest We if, if last year, taught anything it is to do whatever it is. you want whatever it is. If you think you can't do it, if you think you won't be able to do it, you will eventually need to give it time, and I promise you if you don't give up, I promise you, you can make things happen. Okay, a couple people said. like spirit them to do calmly everything, but I hope I can inspire you to do whatever it is that you want so important, especially life is precious as not promised I'm at people ask me what I feel like my: It would be like if I didn't follow my dreams. I didn't get on a plane from Louisiana and moved to Chicago to start doing comedy and just there are poor and do an open minds until I am, I

I got comfortable in Chicago and then I was scared to move to Europe. By did there too and people ask me what what I think life would be like if, if I did, it on those planes. If I didn't take those chances, if any, may travel. I have to tell him I guess we'll never know you saw my this has been. special presentation of Trevor nor presents Josh Johnson hashtag for more jobs, jobs go to Josh Johnson, comedy dot com and for an extensive slate of comedy central original Stanhope titles and Series go to paramount. Plus there are

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