Live from voters, Ramsay Solutions, broadcasting from our car rental studios. It's that day, Ramsay show work that is done, casual king in them, an awful mortgage has taken the place of the Bmw, though status, symbol of choice and Abraham. So your hosts joining me today on the show answering your questions as well: Doktor John Bologna Room, she personality and the women works on areas of your relational. I q questions about relief

interruption, John. What is it that we're getting a lot emails asking you about what types of stuff It is my gone gas oil Anyway, so we're getting a lot of questions were trying to get his MIKE Workin. Folks, that's what happens when you carogne of Irish Skelton Query whether skeletons bones got crossword say something. Now and anyway so doc. Only sure answering questions. The phone number here is triple eight to five five, two to five and I will talk about your life in your money order you all now you're not on he still bad ochre emails will just leave. If you can't talk, that's good, A funny well, anyway, he's quite you can ask him questions about relational. Like you there's a lot of questions coming.

Bout in laws on about kids and grown, gives, and parents and are grown parents and parents of grown people in marriage and fear and anxiety around their economy fear and anxiety around all kinds of different things, and so it certainly the krona virus episode that were square in the middle of you. You got questions of, of anything around anything else than we can do that. Did your leg John, the future. On the other side of remembering that might work of art again open A triple eight, eight to five five, two to five. While we get him wired endless talk to Samantha in Utah, I Samantha welcome today. Ramsay show I gave her you better than I deserve: what's up I have been working q we pay down my student loans and actually just paid off. My first point,

How much was around the world ten thousand hold on good for you think you know I'm right here. I still have about ninety three thousand left. I have worked enter with refiner thing in the past. Through splash, been getting email couple weeks about how low they re far right. Now which is very, very he'll compared them, my normal seven percent interest rate on what. I dont currently pay around in the interests, both road and rail, my quest, is how to anticipate and the benefit of refinancing sooner Then the interested Unfrozen initiative than those rates going back up while you're getting a clue. From splash. What rate

the wife email I got, which was just a general rate, was to prevent mocha em you rate is seven just as in Accra, and show that you're gonna save about five percent on that, In the mean time, between now and September, you will zero interest, correct crack, cocaine and so, let's see we ve got May June July August. You have four months of free interested, seven, What I would ask the folks splashes, can you do the refinanced starting September? One. One could now lock it he'll, get it all up and make it effective September. One In the meantime, you pay zero. Or if you refinanced, with them now. Is it z, robed until September? Two percent, after that I dont know how just do annulling this,

It's a really go watch united way because I now cause they're gonna be making a government insured student alone with refinance. It's not gonna, be a outside of that my guess as it might be interest free. Even if you re finance and September, and then the new right would just start that what makes sense, because I would guess that even new loans that are from recent are our there are. But if they're not than she, if you can start in September, one if not certainly going around the free until September, one and then some time in August pull the trigger on the reasoning, hats, but. But I guess the easiest would be if he refinanced now and the end you don't pay. Entry until September, splash May that shot up as part of this part of the care programme. I don't know, I don't know how that getting there, so many new answers to their staff, but be sure and check whether man the matter and see what you can get from their open phones for polite,

two five, five, two to five, you job and we'll talk about your life in your money, Patrick as well Ohio, I better go moreover amnesia most to talk to you alone can muster. They told me to be brief. I am they would work in every option. To get me into under an annuity I'd say about were on fifty eight, and so I have to go about six years together, constant three thousand dollars a month coming. No, but I put yes but I probably would have to sell off about Five hundred, Graham Watson, my stocks No! No! That's! Ok! Now stocks are you in mutual funds. I got the mutual bombs bonds, cds yoga

and what's your total pilot, what was all that piled up worth? Well as before the cologne on baby? I was about two point: eight So what is it? You're? Looking for the annuity to do for you. Well, I didn't know you know here's the thing at my age, how I might not make it to sixty you mean anything can happen. We sure. However, you are fifty eight mocha. Are you, but I'm not yeah yeah So what are you running the annuity to do what oh, I didn't know judo in times of down right now. So what's just say you go through a period of like ok. What's that you

two point. Eight, and maybe we go for some bad times or your download to or you'll five hundred grand at the time, I'm workin right now, I'm not real big on go on I don't like being underperform right now and too much micro management, don't count on board beyond all good, but I don't want to. I won't do it, friends like that. Listen. Why don't you just stop? You know, there's a thing: what you're trying to do is gonna get protection for your principle. And what you're gonna give up, and in return for that is not worth it. So just today in good mutual funds and have long track records. Have you ve got some for volatile stocks or something you do need to move out of those which you needed. Anyway, in this this crazy Thomas revealed the risk that you were taken so, but basically you know fifty eight, when you're sixty five, seven years from now werewolf

two point: eight, the became to point for the it'll be at three points. And so we will continue to grow. The market will recover and I would just continue to do what you're doing, but maybe dog, back watcher invested in the something a little more conservative like mutual funds. I thanks, Patrick, where we all have enough on our plates right. The last thing we need is to not get a good night's sleep like about how effective you, be during the day, if you can't even think clearly, because you didn't actually arrest that's, why the region's I've been recommending tuft and needle my family has their mattresses and they start as low as three hundred fifty dollars. Blush try it out. One hundred nights risk free go to tee and odd Gamba figures out they ship to your door for free that tea in dot com,

Lastly, we got doktor de wiring working again here. Well, that is worrying, but guess the wiring of the studio where he sets anyway, and that is why I will always be encountered. Workin on my wiring three years, you became a daughter of psychiatry. I'll tell you it's always Hasta is always something I'll get. So we were trying to save before the break. Where did been getting emails about the types of subjects people are asking. Doktor did the looney. What, they're asking about relationships and marriages and dating and mental health challenges and fear and stress, Everything outside of you know the that the tens

things that can see every day. I'm get some great email from all over the country. Ok, if you wanna ask questions of him around that kind of subject: open phones triple eight, eight to five five, two to five, that's triple light, a two five: five! two to five air aerial is on the line aerials in Georgia. I aerial welcome that I've, Wranglership Nilghai thinking demonstrating my call aerial. Are you I'm going thank you, so I've been struggling with game, I'm not right for my bipolar tudor border for about a year. Now, I'm working with a psychiatry. Another day, behavior but one about, but I can't seem to quite curbed by spending. I'm not good enough. More diet, but I'm definitely not helping us. My baby that number to work, only hoarding money during a crown of Aristotle, where China stay too much as we can.

What do you know how long? How do I help curb that need to spend more and not hindering us from getting out of their as fast as we possibly can? So what is it? What is this compulsion feel like? What does it look like for you? I get real anxious. I fear like I need to buy something to avoid something why so it out bipolar. Obviously got a lotta, we do it it's it's, probably where the most diagnosed mental health issues in the country and is probably the most over diagnose mental health issues too, and bipolar two's, notoriously challenging to turn regulate into diagnose. How long have you been working on a psychiatrist. I'm around a year now. So what I would do out the short of saying something, I would say that you may feels unhelpful, which would be just stop

I would put some prohibitory behaviors in your world right. I would put some blocks that are gonna. Make it challenging few net may mean, haven't some rules about not get on the computer, not purchasing things, giving over your debit card to your husband, putting people in it, They're gonna prohibit you from that behaviour and, more importantly, finding some alternative, behaviors they're going to fill that anxiety gap for you. I love that already framed way that you feel rise up in you is this compulsion that you have to go do a thing. That means that you can come up with other behaviors that are more positive. Forty, It may be like taking a walk and they began to exercise it may be. Something nice for somebody, but its funding of a That's gonna do that same dopamine hit the buying something is but isn't gonna hurt or fail in this time of trying to save your money right,

Ariel none will work to know anything near as much about this is John. Does, but I've been it up as you, my guess, over the thirty years are doing the financial crisis of working with a bunch of bipolar folks over the years and the Good NEWS that I've seen issues once- and I can hear the way, your framing your sentences in the way you're thought These are about this that you're really making dramatic progression in you know you you're getting you in your happening to the situation more than its happening to you now and that's the beginning of healing, so I'm a congrats. I should have a hard fight urine and the way I would treat it if I were in your shoes or your husband chooses to say you know this person you when you're in that manic, state or whatever state it is that's causing you spin Like John said, you gonna have some things around you and my it's ok,

saying that you are permanently disabled or something like that. It's ok to turn all the money over to him for a little while until on the other side of this I'll give you another example, I've worked with couples where one of them is addicted to cocaine and there's one hundred percent of cocaine. Attics of ensure layer, bankrupt and listening and healed up the cocaine right, and so I just the money away from that person, while their healing and any controls and treat them and don't take this wrong. But four per took to protect you you and your family for a short pretty time, just freedom fighter for your old to say I'm gonna, take care of you and your at your husband is gonna. Do that in your attorney stuff over here? you're doing that right now, while you're, rational and then and then progressed

Lee and incrementally, as you get control over these things, and I think you're close to that listening to you, I'm not a dark acacia, that's not worth anything when I said that but but mentally as you since healing and since control over these behaviors. Then you return. He starts returning elements or debit card discussion about budget, something that doesnt bring anxiety to you and you participate and gradually and incrementally, more and more as you here and get your met, you may be sure, I'm a college that you get under control, we get balance and it takes a while to do that and but but you know what it's not forever its until it's like. You been car wreck, and until you he'll, you can't do this that Everything is what that's the way. I look at it from a practical standpoint on another frames up with doc, stuff that what what do you think you're right? I think defected you're asking this question, tell me, I think they are right: you're you're down the road. Do you take your meds you're up and down.

We have seen where everyone is good for you, I'm high five and you for a mere, where in Georgia have five to you here from from Nashville, that's easy when the bigger challenges books were taken, the medication, so one thing that's gonna, be a gift to you is what call a series of little winds and so writing a letter to your husband or having a small note that says, I'm turn this over for this season is gonna that you not some he's taken from. Something that you are giving to him here. Gonna, be a moment or you're. Gonna have a little win here that you're taking control of this and then everything's gonna be in place of this behaviour. I'm gonna do the following: I'm gonna do something to go for a walk when I feel that that that anxiety, when my that bill here talking about man, industry, one up and you're in your chest. There Good Lady Aerial, proud of you you're doing. Good staff and all the time I predict a year from now you got a completely different life. I think your own, that track, I really do, and so anything we're doing it's just you know against like someone

in a car wreck. We give them time to he owned a year from now. You know I got a friend of mine, those in a horrible car wreck and she's a Christmas and she's just now, and I doubt it close them, may it is able to move in his hand Torreon Allah it takes to heal from from an injury, and Mental health is no different than physical health. In that regard right, and I would even say we don't have to have bipolar Abed correct, to say The season Anita turn my computer off right cause. I get extra stressed incident, I watch too much Netflix than I step too late in their sleep. Well, nigh start lupin right, so I think all of us it, whether you have it bipolar diagnosis or a correct or just regular personnel comes all of us need to know. I need to get out of this save your and our need to have an accountability, porn Ronnie to turn this particular I'd. Have someone asked me neither

what that other bull ice cream ready to have that those those checks and balances and good for Euro? That's very good, and it just does. I may I looked up and in all and I'm working at work every day and I still looked up and gained fab me in an already was overweight, she's, not cool day, a tall share and impose my wife's, I hope not, and so she got like zero body fat, which is simultaneously wonderful, she's, my wife, but also shaming, right insurance. So you know something about a week in Africa in two miles every morning I just had to go to some good for you. You know it's well swaddle model fashion, but but I'm don't you know, and I was walking up the stairs yesterday in my house, I went downstairs, did Alma Morton, routine hug, the kids have my wife and I was walking steers mindlessly is like

thirty in the morning with a bag of chips in some Easter candy? I do this for relieving. Peeps are the r r c vs cocaine man, they ask us, but I thought what are you doing in so yeah ass, my wife. I need you to step in and help me in this. Why transition to churn them hesitate due regard, but because she does loves health food anyway, but, oh, my gosh, so yeah me, but you you know, what's it where it is instantly with two days of starting to do at whom I walk every morning, feel bad feel better. Your brain clears up and you you're not this rain, because there's nothing on the screen of helping me. No lemon wins. Runaways authority may also help and probably around the business here, but looking at this She says world on the screen all day.

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open vultures hours. We talk about your life in your money. This is the Dave Ramsay Show joining me on the show today, Doktor John, the lonely remedy personality, answering your questions about relationships, IQ issues and, of course, will take your financial questions as well. Fourteen day trial for financial patient. City await this is now the third week we have offered this for the first time in thirty years, warning we're not going to offer it a lot longer we're doing this as a gift to you guys to get you going financial biodiversity while you're stuck at home, and while Some of you have lost your job for trying to help. You show you can nine financial Peace University. Lessons there is, I have

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is your twenty one days of state with it and we're gonna use it as a continuation thing which it you don't have to quit at fourteen days. Use the free part stops after fourteen days, So again they Ramsay dot com, slash hope and you can get all kinds of goodies there and on this whole digital engagement, is a new thing. For me, reader is in Colorado, radio, your question for doktor D and me my question is, is it saying stay in a marriage, bad. Not fulfilling its mouth good marriage. But it's not a bad situation for me. You got to be a little more clear. What is what is fulfilling? What is what is good was bad. Ok,

We have no relationship, we sit together eat em, both your mom going on with her marching the book tube, but Tom. We have not much in common, and I have with it's a good. I have my own life and he has his ass. Living in the same mouth, so your roommates, How long you been married death fourteen years so when's the last time you sit down and looked at me. I said his I'm feelin last weekend had that conversation go play back for me, this is why I had written Amano, because I'm real good will express myself in writing to you and and so on.

He never responded at all. So I finally asked them about it and he said This is how I am in this is how I shall always be so he asked me My question is: are you saying to stay what I would so I don't want a famous and Dave. You feel free to pump in Ottawa frame this as a are you crazy or are you not crazy? I'm a high marriage guy a value in it and I've got a wife. It's been awfully forgiving over the years. Is I've gotta muddled, my three way through trying to grow up and learn what a husband supposed to look like. So I'm a high marriage god, never gonna it can be very rare situation that I tell somebody you know you shouldn't. You should bail out something the other side of it is, You gotta ask yourself the question the what I call the or what question like. What's the line? drawn the sand and what's gonna, be the other side of that I know a lot of grandiose folks, they generally and me in men. I found myself in one of them are really really

to change. They are talking about out everyone's reluctant to change off here. Just now, and you're gonna have to put a line in the sand and say here's what I needed to be in here. So this is gonna look like, but this vague picture of it's pretty good except we'll have a relationship and I'm here all by myself and my life, you got to be a lot more articulates ongoing it I'm going to recommend you get a professional counselor or a pastor that you trust and someone you can sit down and help you walk through it at almost guarantee you that a response from a husband. A tv. This is the way I am. This is how this is gonna. Be that's not a true statement. That's a statement of hurting guided two statements.

Last guy, who has no relational skills, doesn't know what he's doing and doesn't have the ability, much less the courage to come out and say I need a change in than some help in Europe. When we weren't broke with emerge seven years and we you know, we should have killed each other in the seventh year. During the time we went bankrupt, we had a little babies and we were bankrupt and we didn't have enough energy to deal with the relational wounds that came from that, and so they they pay. Up three years later, as my friend Henry Cloud says, he said when you bury feelings like that they have a high rate of resurrection, and so they came and we end up, emerge counselling about to kill each other. Once we were healed enough to not in a way we were and survival Sweden deal with our feelings and

and so we know at the tenure point, diving churn judged about called it and marriage counselor. That's a good friend of ours to this day saved our marriage and our lives probably, but we just did not have the tools on our own the deal with it- and you know she gave Sharon things to do and to say and to think and meetings to do and to say to think and books to read and on you know, we spent the next three. Years on a journey learning how to be married and learning how to connect and how to do that. And so with John, I think, plugging in with a good pastor, a whole series of marriage clashes and and arm. Resting in that it, even if you're doing by yourself, it'll, give you phrases to say words to bring and it'll give you a lot more clarity because

experience, does an all guy, I'm not a doc. I keep saying is over and over, but my experiences is that if you don't lay out a series of things like Johns talking about and say at this point after I've tried these six things, I am done. If you dont give some Clare of what your expectations are and if something that you are not moving towards those expectations I am done, happen is just as vague build up and what I ve observed with our friends, the stuff of theirs is, you will finally just lose it. The switch, lip and there'll be no talking you into it? No matter what he does, no matter, how He is no matter how much he wants to participate, because you know it and it'll be quite surprised to him, because it just

bill to a boil and then the thing just explodes enters: no, no reeling. You back in then you'll be gone. You'll be off the planet and arm if you're like most but like a lot of folks, I have observed what that's called, but I've, just the switch flips. You just get done. You get to the point that there is no there's no return here and I think is a good moment. I wanna call out the the runs across the country, the wives across the country that are penalised by this who are now have retreated to Tiger king for second round right, who are just unplugging from these relationships as a survival mechanism. I get it and I understand, but your partner deserves more your kids deserve. And your family unit deserves more and you have to lean into how avert uncomfortable? This is right now and, however, uncomfortable going to continue to be in the weeks to come, but you ve got a responsibility either the adults in the house. Do you ve, got to be the adult here: the husbands and wives, both

yeah and if your life comes to you, the courage to say hey, I need more from you, Hey this is just how I am don't do that. You're through child. Those whereby Amazon Way could you find me today, you start today stop stop loses rams issue. largest whether my eyesight you're, welcome Ramsay show

They live great without you guys you to watch up, ok, We are going through this new type of China now with the corona virus everything. I'm still working from home, but I was thinking of going. And starting a five business, but I we feel a little fearful about doing it. So I wanted don't you guys about how to overcome that fear on Georgia? here you feel in Georgia Failure to what, we ve. What I've figured out is. Is that no on is ever successful, that all people are met that are successful are colossal failures. They just

Don't engage in things that create fatal failure. They have lots of little minor failures when you're driving down the road- stay in your lane, you correct continuously and so that what the other the the the tendency to drift towards another line is a failure. It's just not a fatal failure, and you correct two percent Other than a rather than a ninety degree turn, and so we are have failures. The trick is to stage in addition to grow your business and to launch a business in such a way that it time the failure. Is not the church at the thing. The new thing you're attempting is not fight logging example inside of our company. We have us the thing that we shall all the time around here internally and our leadership team. We are now

going to launch something that if it completely crashes, crashes the whole place in poker Poker power launch. That means and put all my chips on one hand, not gonna slot. All ships would only James Bond. Does that right or not normally trip to the middle. The table on one hand where, if this thing Doesn't work, we're screwed the hollow places coming down. Thirty years worked coming down around my ears based on one stupid, but decision, and so are one thing that we really believed in but turned out to be a stupid, but decision So what we find is that we're going to fail and we want to fail dangerously friend a member but John, we'll call failing forward. You want to just look confused stumble forward right, so you do that, and it helps me if my fears and are if I was

right I was gonna lose everything I built for thirty years at big terrified and any by that wasn't wouldn't be wise, in future of your starting a new business and it's gonna, you know you're borrow a hundred thousand dollars and will take a second mortgage against your house with the SBA to start business of ice cream, parlor doesn't work, you can lose home without terrified me and I wouldn t slab inside find another way to open the business without as much risk meaning. My fear small, because I'm keeping my failure small John John, from up tional standpoint. How do you deal with it? I think I go back to that statement these, talk about the old wives tales about the astronauts in their heart rate, never getting up because the planned planned plan. They had a roadmap and they had a plan, and so when the launch actually happened, they were ready for everything that was coming and obviously you can't you no every up and down in a business world, but I'm sociable. What business do you wanna get into? What I want to do

I am a recruiter, so I would be recruiting I'd, be doing it independently or non organization My biggest beer is because, single mom. You know everything don't just my income or something wrong. You know I sank some year, some pretty clear, noncom people. With that I gotta go to work my family, just world class at it, but another the non computer are pretty pretty happy and I'm asking the desk. Did you create aside business where you can grow something where you you're keeping your day job? I believe that would be. My recommendation is to one if I think, let's get you a copy of Christie Rights, business, boutique plan book, my wife followed that its remarkable is just a step by step guide for how someone situation can start a business that she can grow and then obviously

your job until you ve got something that you feel confident that you're ready to rock and roll Likin thickened with whole. This does your family, you have. You can launch the business as a sad hustled by Johns talking about an what say you get thirty years or hours? Our choice fifty to seventy percent of your income, working on the side. Then you can drop the other one without as much fear rhetoric, and would you say where we say that I don't know trot a jump into the boat until the boats close enough to the dark, get you're in I'm up enough. That's about getting close the darker side! How so that you can make the leap to full time, without so much risk Annie is in Utah. I anyway, driver amnesia hiding doktor d and so on. Only military wife, but my husband separating it guess this year and I was just wondering how much money. Should we save until we can start be sap to again

we'll time. Thanks for a service you two hundred miles you been in and we who actually infer about six years. I got out last September Roca for what gonna do and when will we know if he's doing it, so it's could not happen. The key note for shared equally, Gee idle, I'm going to school, but it can't hurt now with everything going on. We don't know you don't how long it will take for his gee. I got back again or is still required him to do the amount of the masters before they pay pal, No, they don't. They just start paying you when you do it. That's a bill works. It's it's gotta, stipend. As well. So that's all greatly going to school is not going to work now here tonight. Separate, and then he wants gesture, probably in the fall semester, to do what he wants. A gopher eyeteeth for computers before you.

Therefore, yes, ok, you're, getting a for your information systems. It's gonna, take him for years, you're, not gonna work for four years, yeah! Ok, what do you make a minor but stay at home Bob about the one. That's gonna go back to work whose we just had a new born, so Well, maybe he's working while he's in school to looking down- that's probably gonna be true, so I think when you guys get your incomes stabilized after this transition. When you would start your your baby steps and, in the meantime, you Pollack, catch to make sure you can do the transition I think he's he's enrolled in school, gotta GM money flowing he's got his good sad hustle going and you ve got your new job and that's your life for the next four years once that stabilized than we plug that into your budget system.

That makes sense yeah. I just wondered if there was like you know, a magic number we could save up and then start that because you didn't united, it doesn't matter if you're gonna drain the magic number. If you five, two hundred thousand but your burn in ten thousand a month, you're done in Denmark, I'm not saying that what happened but of being stream, but you can build up at what feels like a big Pollack cash, but it'll burn up. If you don't have a plan to support your household him hitting show me your goals during this for years. I know what you put your life on over four years. I don't want to go to school, get information, sensitive degree, that's wonderful, and I'm glad I am glad that we, the taxpayers, are paying for each one of the few things that we had to pay. For that we're glad we pay for ticket you not to give him a fresh start after the Miller but yeah. I think that's a good thing to remember for all of you out there that fits with this in an John. This is what we ve been saying since, since the Show-

down, became nationwide and and became everybody's reality is if your income is unstable and by the way this is what we have set for thirty years. This is new to the corona virus. If your income is unstable, meaning that you're about to be light offer you just got light, offer your fur load or in their case it has not been nothing do corona, but they're going through a transition. Yeah. You just push pause on your baby steps and pile up cash to kill cover the transition, but then, as soon as you get stabilized again, meaning you get your job back. Your other saw the furlough. You start a new career in. Occasionally. Ilusha transitioning established in their food your plan. Then you push play again in that it gives you a piece to have their transition cash absolute baloney, lonely with me this day on the day. Ramsay show appreciate you guys. This open phones, interpolate, eight to five five, two to five anytime. You ve got questions for John. You can email him directly,

ask John Ramsay solutions, doggone ask John at Ramsay Solutions, dog Gump at this hour, they Ramsay show in the books. in the middle of these uncertain times. Ramsay solutions wants to give you some hope for the very first time ever were giving you financial Means University free for fourteen day after day, Ramsay Doc, arms like oh, so you can watch if you're looking for

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