« The Dave Ramsey Show

Wife Hid $90,000 in Debt From Me (Hour 2)

2019-10-18 | 🔗

Debt, Real Estate

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ram. Cecily broadcasting from the dollar car rental studios ends that day, Ramsay shall work that is done. Cages in the pay of mortgage has taken the place of the Bmw status symbol of George I'm they ran through your hosts. Thank you for joining us, open foams, AAA eight to five five, two to five: that's AAA eight to five five. Two to five starting this, our off is illegal and Hawaii, Illegal, how are you.
Good. How are you, sir, I just had a quick question. I asked you recently I got about today Seven bombshells dropped on me in the form of credit card I said I was not aware of. And I'm wondering if I should- current high interest rates, I'm wondering if I should consolidate on to fifteen year, where the Rachel be manageable, and then I could attack it from their without the a minimum payments been so high every month. I'm sorry! How does credit card that seven bombshells recur? Help me with this Okay, so I've been married for sixteen years when my wife and I together. She took over the finances, which was great cuz. I have terrible credit so we're able to buy a house back in like
Anyone then back in our philosophy, was, will spend any more then we can pay off every month and we did that. You know. If it's throw the beginning of our marriage in a kind of I stop paying attention. The finances and let her take care of it. Another day I opened up a credit card statement expecting it to be. Maybe another was in thousand range news. Nineteen thousand. And that was just the first started digging. Toto was seven other cards is a total of home equity line. Total of ninety thousand that I didn't even know about. While at pressure is God punch.
He remained came down guessing Jenner. That night was getting there. That night was a little stressful. Here I mean we ve got to beautiful kids and we didn't want to stress them too much with what are adults. Itchy Athena wasn't so bad. I mean she feels terrible, she's, really good at ping. Long time no she's, not my arm. She succeeded she's, really good at hiding it here So why was she hiding it? Why didn't she tell you? I've been asking myself questions. I've asked she has been scared to tell me she said, I think we've been kind of living the dream and she didn't.
She didn't want to. I mean I knew in the back of my head. It wasn't real adding up- but I didn't know, is that's kind of why open the credit card statement
I didn't know this bad. I guess had been happening for a long time. What your household income per hundred hundred and thirty thousand and holding your kids, I gotta twenty one. Fifteen and eleven. Are you gonna get church by chance? I want you to seek out a good christian marriage counselor and the two of you go see them immediately, because let me tell you the statistics around discovering ninety thousand dollars worth of deception and a divorce following our very high you, you have been got punched almost in the same way as if she's had an affair. The breach of trust is very similar, obviously different. Tactical actions but the breach of tat,
cost of her level of deception and your level of lack of involvement that allowed that deception to occur. The two of you both have some things to talk through. You are now involved in the money every month for the rest of your life. You understand never again. Are you during this? Our does not because as its because the way you guys we're doin it doesnt work. Obviously, and both people here in the house need to be involved in the budget. I don't mind if she executes the budget after the two of you agree to, but you both need to carry the weight of the decisions, because she does not have the ability to tell you or your family no hurry and she consequently ran up these bills because she wasn't good at budgeting. She wasn't good at handling this. She wasn't good at selling people know she was
good at managing the big decisions of the household by herself and that's where all this came from and showed all she wrote all she did was the best she could do, but it wasn't good. And so we are seeing in work with you both of you together, you don't take it up, she gets shut out. Now you get to work together, rest of your life and you sit down a marriage counselor, and you talk through how this made. You feel that your wife has lied to you for ninety thousand dollars, earth, because a normal human being is both heart and pissed off when that occurs, and if you're not both of those things now you're, not normal, pretty normal mocha and she's, pretty condemned and ashamed and beat down and has a lot of tears,
if she's normal now that are lies and deception are car brakes. That's what happens because she's been carrying the weight of this lie and high energy level You guys I've gotta work through that stuff, and this could be the best thing that ever happened to your family. It could be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship or it will call All come to an end sudden, and you won't even realize where it came from? If you don't deal with it, so sit down with a counselor. For God's sakes, you need marriage, counseling, okay, and then I'm going to put you guys in financial peace for a year, and that includes the clash and both of you were going to go to the class and both of you were going to get on a budget and both of you are going to stay in your family. No about ninety thousand dollars worth of no
you don't need to refinance your way out of this interest rate. Is not your problem. You problem, as you guys have been spending like you were in Congress, you guys gonna quit spanning you make enough money, a wise, expensive to live, but you make enough money and here's a dealer station, quick, math! Ok, if we They often already five thousand dollars a year, you're done in two years, so you're probably done in about three years. Thirty thousand a year for three years in your done, and you can do that- What you make, but your family is going to be on beans and rice, rice and beans. We're not going to the inside. See the inside of a restaurant must we're working there and vacation is going to be in your backyard. Did you gotta clean spoke earlier. You got a row, your sleeves up and pass this thing in the nose and turn it around. So I walk with you brought.
But you do the things I'm telling you to do or you're in a danger zone get with a marriage counselor trapeze class and I'll pay for the classes free to you guys. I want to be part of your healing. Not part of your problem is the Dave Ramsey Show
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Caroline Witherspoon Virginia Caroline Welcome, but I am sure I do think you are taking my car chart for time about buying property in for closure. We are debt free and we have the money to buy a property that we're looking at the assessed value. One hundred thousand and it doing my due diligence There are three judgements against it and two deeds of trust. So the total that's owed against the property of
play around seven hundred thousand when I with the lawyers who's running the sale. They have told me that the properties are sold with a clear title but it doesn't necessarily mean that you can get a title on the property after it clears the auction. If you can provide me a little bit of insight as to what this type of thing means, I mean I definitely don't want to get myself into six property on somebody else's debt. So is this something we can pursue we or should we run away now you need look out and it looks good asked value has nothing to do. The real value of taxes, like I said, not a good use of an appraisal number one thing when you do when you begin accurate value, actual marketplace, value of the property. Do you know any one, the rules they business? You can help you pull that together, yeah! Ok! So
would pulled out together an actual value any. If you were gonna gas. She would guess that it's worth considerably more than two hundred correct guess what what do you think they actual market you put a shot in the arm would sell for probably, guessing cutaway more three, three, fifteen! Ok, that's what I was thinking because to a two hundred in depends on your state and how update your assessments are those kinds of things at yours, tax, assessors office, but let's use three hundred as our example. Ok, now the first, the dates of the judgments that their recorded at the courthouse and the dates that the deeds of trust were recorded, that the courthouse give you the information that you all night the it sounds like that, the deed of trust that has been on the books, the longest,
which makes it the first mortgage is whose foreign closing is that true, I believe sad and that gate is twenty fourteen. So when the when the deed of trust was recorded, if the young it if it's the second date of trust, recorded, that's for closing the first day of Troy will survive. The foreclosure you'll still owe that if you bought the property, but anything behind the deed of trust that is for closing is cleansed, so those judgment lanes or clans there very likely, following that date of trust, to be very unusual for them to issue alone and indeed of trust if there were judgment leaned against the property, such highly unlikely that there in front of this data, trust, ok, but it's so that your second piece of information you need is you need to call a title company?
and asked them if you can pay them for a simple title, search, probably cost you a hundred bucks and then ask them in the event that the first the, if that the first deed of trust, the first mortgage is for closing. In the event you the property on that. Would they be willing to issue tidal if you became the owner based on that foreclosure sale where they actually title insurance policy, so one what will it cost to get title search done to based on the title search? If you bid in that position, would you would they issue title insurance and that'll? Tell you if you're getting clean title or not do not. Bid. If you cannot get clean title now, let's go back and look at another scenario, just for teaching purposes. Ok, I think you ve got a first mortgage. Foreclosure going hairs was sounds, To me the way, the lawyer, when you call them the the succession
rusty or the trusty doing the foreclosure explained to you, the titles gonna be cleaned, which would mean the first mortgages for closing. That's what it sounds like. Let's pretend for the sake of argument, just show you understand that. It's not the first one. It's the second one, and let's pretend the first mortgage you call and get the loan balance? The current loan balance on the first mortgage is fifty thousand has to be paid you bid in the second position, meaning if the second date of trust is for closing that fifty thousand one have to be paid. So if you bid one dollar at the foreclosure say, oh you paid fifty thousand in one dollar a pang where'd. You would add your first more the stays in place to any bid your making, and so would not bid on this property. You know you know
first. Mortgage very much depend on the sovereign powers more. If there's a first mortgage, that's two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. This properties not imply, forget it walk away, right because you rebuilding toward him. Fifty thousand, if you bid one dollar and you don't want pay that for this property, the step you're trying to get a deal right right. So it looks to me like the day to day I can find one that, when fifty five and when the second is that one forty for that matter about the second, if its not being a whore closed as the SEC first as being for closed the second go away. Now this
Linda can step up and bid to protect their position. Then these loans aren't with the same bank. Are they that I dont know or ok that's another region? It gives quarterly, but the second mortgage lindore. So you think the first one is one forty four and the second one. Fifty five now reverse rock at one point: five one, and if the sort the first mortgages for closing they're going to step up they're, probably going to bet one hundred and fifty five thousand four hundred and twenty dollars point thirty two, which is their loan balance plus their legal fees. Properties worth considerably more than that and if nobody else bids their willing to take it for that, because they can put on the market real her lighter and sell it and get their money out right right, so they're gonna bid there one fifty five, come in or Brady to do that and more because that's how thou that's! The bid is gonna open with the first mortgage Lindore with their balance, push legal fees.
Ok, then, the second mortgage can bear up to their balance above that and it costs them anything because they own that position but if they don't show up and you bid a dollar more than the first mortgage, the second mortgage will get that dollar and the judgment. Lienzo be clans, don't get nothing and you'll have clear title. Ok, you she others work. I do yes, I do position that is being foreclosed, is vital to understand and get a title company to verify the numbers that you've got there are, those might have been the original If they're old they may been paid down, that might not be the actual balance is now, so we gotta get out of that as well, but the big information What position is being foreclosed on? What's the building actually worth, and and can you get title insurance after you buy it if you cannot get it insured by
after you buy it. I want to know why and I'm not buying it are almost two thousand foreclosures in my life. I used to do this for a living. Can you tell I hope, therefore, that you can do it safely, but you can do it wrong. I watched a guy bid. What he thought was a first position in a second position, one and he was three and fifty thousand dollars off on this purchase and looking at him go and do what are you doing? It goes managers gotta they all like me, a plus three hundred and fifty thousand, and what the second mortgage foreclosure doob. And we got hammered because he didn't realize use bidding and second position. He thought his bidding fusion everything's gonna be cleared. You shouldn't bargain about idea. The announced that would have about the new part can appreciate you felony, and on that
and yet I think these judgment wage war about at all so very interesting. That's gonna font, crusher, paying cash, get title insurance, but to get a bargain. I think we need I like it, I like it is the Dave Ramsey show death
in the lobby of Ramsay solutions on Baghdad, Freeze age Logan Kelly or whether say guys our yeah. I, Mr Andrey, welcome well good to have you. What do you guys live normal Illinois, normal Illinois? There we go up. Ok, I got it t shirts. Now from normal, where we had only will your weird and normal now that you're dead, re love, it very girl, and your son is whether some his name and Age Bailey ended he's ten years old, Elaine is ten or I could show how much debt of you guys call paid off. So we paid off ninety thousand three hundred fifty three dollars and thirty seven cents and thirty one month,
good for you and your range of encumber about two and a half years was a hundred and fifteen do a hundred and twenty. What do you do for a living? We I'm a claims licensing analysed, I'm a learning analysts front entrance Many co couple of analysts, so you shut down analyze this. What kind of death did you pay off it was ninety eight thousand. It was mostly student. Loans like like the themes today is like. We dont want our son to ponder the same trap that we did so we want to set a really good example for him very good. The Anti car Sally may in a car, so you gave the old woman her eviction notice, you set it out of our house and you never common back, never I love it. I love it. I love it will congratulations. What put you on this
thirty one month ago. Will our journey started about eight years ago, when I first heard about your programme and we did financial peace and we did it for about five years, the wrong way, and so about three years ago we were living in Texas at the time and we can head does a real low partner life. Everything does seem to not be working out for us, and so I have heard you say before that. Sometimes it's not a financial problem at the problem with something else going on their life or both three years ago we just decided to come to give our life and make over, and I found a different job that much happier in and we really work together as a team. I read boundary is Henry Cloud: wishes live tv, and so that really got us on the same page together and we have been attacking it and part of that journey. Was we decided to move from Texas back to Illinois, which is Weber from home.
So that we had about twenty of doing what we would have done, which is to put it in a new house. We decided to do it the right way, and so you took that money paid off one of our student loans. Moved in with the mother in law. For a couple of miles, then we ve been rent in an apartment and now we're on babies, step three be all right for a down payment by the surrounding area, and you each of the twenty thousand equity job started the whole. That's noble! Yes, we had made it the carpet off before that, and then that really does kept going. And then we have had my student Wanta, ok, so that that enables you to knock out even faster, though you had a recent your home. I know what you're doing a complete make over would remove into a new place. Yes, we're gonna live with the mother in law, them around movement, own apartment, we're getting new jobs and we're getting. Rather that absolutely no! That's good yeah? I like this move well done. You guys very how you feel, I have no payments, it's a huge relief and it does provide.
Freedom and choice and in its there was actually sort of a middle point where we paid off all the debt, and we were just starting to go beyond the thousand dollar debate and if we were a little scared, because we couldn't It was like this, but it's amazing Budget putting pride and pulse aside and just really working and the weights designed and sure enough within no time at all, we had that buffer, where we felt safe, the three ace or like how can we re now? good good you're. That changes a lot too when you get that implies well done you guys. So what about person that says to you then. Yeah you're out of the german apartments yeah. Well, what
Oh sure too, that I have. I wouldn't change were very blessed to being a great apartment so where it were in a great school and our neighbours, a really nice, and so we we haven't had any complaints there and in it. You need to get that I from some people every now and then and at our age, to be starting all over again. It feel like sometimes at the little rough, but I wouldn T inject braving and it's making the house experience so much better like we're having a fine looking on villages deciding like where we can do and when, when the time comes, the tough they will be next summer adjustment and think I wouldn't change at the apartment would have been forced into it. We're going it alone on our own terms and with our own plan and with a down payment in that's that's right. They do so. Thank you. Well, if somebody says to yogi over the answer, I wouldn't taken a power. This is my life and I'm living well good, for you is part of what
as you quite worrying about what all those are. The groups. Thank you now start will live in your life. That's a boundary thing. You know I'm going to do this and I'm really, I wasn't buying a house to impress you anyway, darling husband, one for us to live in so it's time for you to be impressed. Like that, after a debt for each Graham an omelet you'd, do you just don't understand these people are on a track to be millionaires and that's where your head so we make a hundred toy diversionary payments made right, while in a pretty low rent and a nice place and directions back to that mindset. Shift is like opening your mind to not try to do it like. I was trying to do plan my way open. It's not the Logan Ramsay plan it's the day Ramsay put us at once at once. I opened my mind and it really was faithful giving that really was this remind said because
doing in our way. We were out we like to give, but we would try to give at the end of the like after we paid Oliver bills and then we just we'd. She convince me, thankfully she's a huge blessing, I'm to shift that too. Let's set aside money to give first and then It was the same income in the same because we were give what we wanted an still pay off our bills. When I saw what happened with that, faithful, giving that my mind was blown and, as I go cable, what else should we do differently so that that was really this star? That's cool us very cool, it's a great place to start Congratulations, you guys were very proud of. You know where your biggest cheerleaders. I really think this long. I hear with our biggest alienated yankee if he has kept us. Than in just been every other there, everything their views and jobs in and does everything we ve been turn I live together. You look forward, ruin, coffee and sitting down with us.
Sheets in they every dollar about their yeah you're, Andalusia, like it on this point. Will congratulations you gas! Thank you, gotta copy across organs book for you every day, millionaires because you're gonna be one and will show you what it looks like possess. The next chapter in your story just chapter one chapter two: this isn't the other story. This is just the next chapter, ok, so well, Daniel, very, very, very proud of you gun and Kelly and Bio in failure, by billion Bailey and absorbed, and want to miss pronounce your name and ninety eight thousand dollars bite off at thirty one march making once they have gained a one twenty county town. Let's era, for you screw three zero one Fine,
you guys very very well done very well known Megan. On Twitter? Is debt saddling something to consider when getting out of debt? Well, if you can't pay the bill and you can see, the bill it's better than not paying the bill. If you have the money, pay the bill, and you owe the bell. You should pay the bill. You told them you but when you signed the papers and if you have the money to pay it and so otherwise, and I have a company for Estes that owes me forty thousand dollars from fifteen years ago. I suspect I will never get that money. Would you bet I can, but on the right but if they call me up and offered me a settlement, I would take it in about an instant because I am counting on nothing because I figure Never getting anything from them, but if they offered for ten cents on the dollar. I'd take the foreground
but more than I was gonna get and that's the way these banks look at it. Sometimes so, if you're broke and you can't pay the bill then you sat on if you can pay the bill, and you owe the bill. You pay the bill. This Dave Ramsey Show.
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your will mean a new will any time, there's a major life change or any time you change states. You would need to set a new will, and so you re right. Your will certainly up to you what you put in the will and who's gonna. We taking care of your children in a divorce situation unless their father is unfit to care for them, and the courts have ruled that the bee dip difficult, even with a will to keep your children from their father in the event of your death, but of the courts have ruled him to be ineligible and I'm not an attorney, but a means understanding through this logically with you, then you would decide who's gonna take here. The kids somebody's gonna happen to you now. I cannot think of a case like none. I can't think of a scenario in which I would leave him
any mere x, I would leave money to the children in a trust that is to be managed for the good of the children, and someone else is managing the trust. Maybe your parents, your sister, your brother, I don't know, but that's managed for the good of the and that can include and should probably include, some of them he's like. If you had a million dollar life insurance policy on you, you will pay that into the trust for the good of the kids. If you were to die, but your couldn't get his hands on that because being managed to spur someone else, but income off of that trust to support that children should be going to him. He should be getting a Czech once a month from that trust. Morally speaking, too, to take
of your kids and assist in caring, for them can also put provisions in the family trust to take care of your kids when they turn sixteen, you could help them by a car. In our case, the way I was written up, we paid half of our kids cars and meaning we match For one day, and so when a matching plan and when they turned sixteen, we pay half of their first car, and so, if they saved up five bucks, they got a thousand other car, and we had that is a provision in the will, but the trust of sharing and I died would do the same thing now that trust is long since disbanded, of course, and will never work ever occur because the kids are now grown and they have their own cars and so forth. The next
we said was if something happened, that they had a major medical event, and some of the trust me to pay out some extra money to take care of their health needs of child. Had a major health issue than some. The trust money can be used for that. The sum of trust money can be used to pay for college and then after college, In our case, ours was set up to where they got some of the money upon graduation. They got some more at twenty five and some more thirty, and that would be all of that would have happened if we had died. Why, while our children were minors, that's just an example of the kind of things you could put in your will and this trust you can make it do anything you want it to do, but it would be highly unusual for you to allow your ex husband to manage your wealth for the good of your children. If you're that trusting of him you, probably
didn't beginning a divorce, so don't think we're gonna go that way. So I put some one else demanding the money and then you determine based on the situation in eligible it legally who's gonna take your the kids. If something happens to you, and all of that is the will, and as soon as the divorces finalize you need a new will that simple, atomism big life changing get married. You get divorced, remove states YO change in wealth, substantial change in wealth up or down. You need to re look at your will and rethink about it. We revisit and go two hours every year. It's a big hairy deal with comb through it. Look at all the different things we've got structured is everything right with go over that with the attorney with over, family with over with the leadership team here it Ramsay. So there's something happens,
coming to our much everyone is aligned on. What's gonna happen, there are no surprises. You should always by the way everyone needs. Will your Mama bear legal forms, dot, com and get your will going? Everyone needs a will. And it doesn't take, but about twenty minutes to knock one out of basic will a hundred bucks, or so knock it out and it's just good management of, Your life is really kind of a it's a. An emotionally strenuous exercise, because you have to actually surround discussion dying and I call it the Monty Python meeting that we have once a year. Better solely of One year on, we all that stuff right and so because we're sitting Talking about me dying the whole time for this to our meeting and we go through all these details of, what's going to happen in the coming year, insurance figured it out that our stay plan is predicated on me dying first, which makes me a little worried like she has a plan or something so everyone needs a will
colonel is weathers in Pennsylvania, high colonel. How are you. I gave a good her you better than I deserve. What's up, though I just graduated college about, month or so bad regulation is what your degree an anchor human computer interaction awesome. I'm currently living off my emergency fund. I have like two months runway last. I'm starting a job in November. So I'm not too worried about that November. First, and I'm on baby step three phone. It's so counts now, once they start working out set aside the fifteen percent of the income for retirement for sure, I'm thinking of feeling much more than that now I need your advice on what to do with the remaining I don't have that. So I wanted your advice on it: have fun
stupid goal in mind for random thirty, but I want to hear adviser that you have one stupid gone. Did you say well stupid as an annual hoping to save up a million dollars by the time, I'm thirty. How old are you. So how much they had to put aside to have a million dollars to secure a hundred and thirty. Out and per year. And what are you gonna be making so I'm gonna be making like just the salary is going to be one twenty. Then there is gone bonuses I'm going to get the sign on bonus, that's what I'm not worried about replenishing my emergency fund and then Realistically, I might be able to say one hundred and thirty. My expenses are like three thousand a month right now: for details. You figured out how you're gonna get there
Tom you setting all the first thing you should ask yourself is what has to be true. To be true hearers mathematically. We have to set our sights two hundred and thirty and key Eugene darting, with your starting salary out of college you're starting income is big enough to support your goal and your income shouldn't go anywhere, but up from their right right, how to get more and more and more, I suspect, you're going to get those gold early, because you're I'm of lovely not beyond a mole not be linear, it'll, probably be on a curve right and I'm not counting for lake beside Giggle House, while I'm working like for the weekends to work that little more income, how did you do some kind of sad gig? Instead a burn, your merchants, you phone right now, legally I'm not allowed to. Since I'm an immigrant here, I have to wait for the real job again
that's the only reason. I'm not doing it goes back to wait for the real job to kick in. Ok, good, good for you! Ok, you don't put that in dumping, Our green card jeopardy man about. Tackling the whole point. Very, very valuable for you right now girl man can, delays lamp the other you're gonna. Do I get I mean it's pretty simple, your investing money, and so don't care where the million dollars is, then I would max out every retirement that's available to you and that's it. If I raise and anything it's available at work for a one case like that MAX all that and then above that investing in mutual funds turnover mutual funds? Cuz. You won't have much taxes on them as they go along their taxi cab, which means only as you draw it out and then only fifteen percent. So I think you're gonna be a millionaire man, I'm proud of well done this is the Dave. Ramsey show
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Transcript generated on 2019-11-23.