Every year on my birthday I get a letter. I never feared death before but these letters have changed everything for me.
Every year on my birthday, I receive a letter.
by: Richard Saxon
You can read the original story at FullBodyChillsPodcast.com
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Full body chills is brought to you by simply safe. Did you know that on average it takes police forty five minutes to respond to a home security alarm? That's almost an hour! Imagine this situation your home in the dark and maybe you're alone or worse. Maybe your kids are sleeping down the hall. When your house alarm goes off, someone is in your home. Your heart is beating so hard. You can literally feel it pulsing in your ears. Your mind is racing. Maybe it went off by accident. This kind of thing doesn't happen in your neighborhood. It would never happen to you, but that's when you hear it something.
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the trial you've got nothing to lose, go now and be sure you go to simply save dot com, Slash Fbc, so they know that our show sent you that simply safe dot com, Slash Fbc, hi Liz. This is Ashley flowers and I have a story. I want to tell you a story about some of the strangest letters that I've ever received.
So gather around and listen close
today marks the 20th anniversary of my father's death taken away by a single senseless act, but it also just so happens that today is my birthday
he'd been working late, as he often did, regardless of birthdays or holidays, and I understood it was a painful
for him and though our relationship had always been a bit strained. I never blamed him for making a living because as a single
either. He had a lot on his mind and I respected that, but that night on my 18th birthday, my father was hit by a drunk driver on his way home. He never even made it to the hospital,
His insides were so utterly torn to pieces by the impact that he simply died before the paramedics could even show up a few weeks after the funeral. I was trying to piece
together. The legal mess that comes following someone's death, inheritance and so on
and wasn't anything. A teenager should have had to deal with, but I was alone like no close family.
No one to guide me through the world anymore. Ironically, his lawyer seemed
more about my father than I did after
dealing with whatever assets were left behind. The lawyer had been given a set of instructions all prepared by my father.
Should he meet an untimely demise, so I signed all the necessary documents and was given some advice on how to survive the loss of a loved one. Then I received a letter. It was wrapped
in a beautiful silver envelope only decorated with my name. I opened it careful not to rip it apart and I started reading dear Ashley.
I'll start this letter. By admitting to one undeniable truth: I'm not a good man.
And I've been and even share your father. I've made plenty of mistakes left too many things on set. I can make up the excuse that I'm simply the product of my time and the people that raised me, but all cut through the bullshit
and just apologize. Your mother died while giving birth, it's a hard fact to live with and though I've seemed cold at times. I
I need you to know that I never blamed you for any of it. How could I you came into this world as a beautiful little creature? Never asking for life it appreciating every moment of it. I'm writing this. On your birthday, you've just turned eighteen and I'm staying behind at work to finish this up
I don't think I'll hand it to you, yet I'm still not done dealing with my own issues, but I promise that as soon as I'm
You want to man up I'll. Tell you all the things I should have said, as you grew up that I'm proud of you that I love you. I wish I could say this to your face, but I'm a coward.
Taught myself that emotions are for the week. So for now, I'll put this on paper.
It will be waiting, among my other things, an my last will and testament should anything ever happen to me, but that will hope,
leaving many years from now and by then. You won't even need this letter to remind you, you're, a better person me Ashley. I hope you know that
I'm sorry. I haven't been a better father, but I promise I'll change. I love you dad. My father had died the same day that he wrote that letter
He probably instructed the secretary to send the letter to his lawyer in the morning. I don't really,
well, how else that he would have gotten ahold of it? I read the letter a
little more times before folding. It neatly back up and I just sat down on the floor and cried and kept it together for so long. But right now I just couldn't any.
I tried to remember the smiles on our faces and the moments we shared, because that's what truly matter not the words that could have been said, but the time that we did spend together and that would have been it. My father had passed and life moved on. I kept our small house for myself. It was already bought and paid,
and I kept on with my studies. Then, one year later, on my birthday,
received another letter. It was beautiful, the same silver envelope just like the last one and on the front,
these like pattern of vines and bizarre, looking symbols and in the very center written crudely, but not without charm, was my name and I recognize the handwriting. His handwriting was unmistakable. The letter without a doubt, came from my father, but I I couldn't figure out how
I mean he had to have sent it over a year ago, before his death and the more I thought about it, I figured he must have instructed his lawyer to send.
To me every year on my birthday, and this sounded like something he never would have done, but I'd already been surprised last year, so I just opened it and started reading Dear Ashley, where do I begin
I'm not even sure if this letter will reach you considering where I am, but I'm giving it a shot. Anyway, it's been exactly one year since my death, though I have to admit time, works a bit differently here. It feels like a hundred years have passed since you turned eighteen.
Yet I know that for you, only one year has gone by I'm not much of a pose
but I'm sure not even EDGAR Allan POE could have found the words to describe the beauty of this place. It's simply put unbelievable. You need to know that I never suffered the car hit me at such a speed that it killed me.
Instantly no pain, nor any memory from the incident. My world just disappeared
and a moment later, I woke up surrounded by the most beautiful light. Where is here? I'm not exactly sure. I suppose it's heaven, though I can't say exactly what I did to deserve such a gift. It's like a city here stretching endlessly, as far as I can possibly see just buildings and
flyers covered in silver that stretch up into the sky, hiding among the clouds above perfectly constructed and each magnificent in their own way. There are no horizons here. The world only ends when it's too far away to comprehend just tiny figures dancing in the distance, but it's beautiful nonetheless enveloped in colors. I never even knew existed. It's perfect. We don't feel hunger thirst or tiredness, yet the food is bountiful. An always taste excuse
I don't need it, but it's a joy just to feast, none, the less, never feeling too full and her gaining or losing weight. There are some things that I can't tell you the guard,
or angels, I'm not really sure what to call them, but they're telling me. I have to follow the rules Appan asking they simply scoffed
You told me to figure it out on my own they're, certainly not the beautiful creatures that I expected them to be, but that doesn't really matter.
What matters is that I'm looking for your mother, but in an endless city, that's easier said than done. There was really no like register here so
No one can actually tell me where to find anyone, though I suppose with an intern
ahead of me, I'll just have to keep looking. The population is strangely scattered here,
and no one I spoke to has been here for more than a few years. I suspect that there's some kind of hierarchy in this place, or maybe we have to one-
further into the city to find our loved ones. It's a lot to take in
and I wish I could tell you more, but now I need to go in any case. I love you Ashley. I wish I'd said that, while I was still alive, but at the very least this is better than nothing love dad.
I wasn't sure how to react. Sure I mean it was his handwriting, but it had to be some kind of joke.
I called up his old lawyer an asked if he'd sent the letter on behalf of my father and he denied it saying that his job
Basically, the moment I sign over my father's remaining assets here on earth. Next, I turned to the few friends that I had
really interrogating them about the letter without revealing its actual content.
And they all acted innocent which made me feel guilty. They had been gray
as long as I've known them always there for me and without them I couldn't have survived the passing of my father, so without any further solutions had to just let it go
I put the letter alongside the rest of my father's belongings and forced myself to move on, and I almost forgot about it. I truly did, but then the third letter arrived yet again on my birthday exactly one year later, dear Ashley, I found her after an impossibly long search. I finally found her
your mother, Helen, the love of my life. I knew she had to be here. She always been one of the best people. I knew. I guess I should explain as
Read my last letter time doesn't flow as you'd expect, at least not here. Despite that, we keep track of it. Just like we do back on earth. I suppose it makes it easier to look out for our loved ones,
It just feels longer your mother she's, not exactly herself. I found her on top of one of the spires,
Actually, I've never seen her look like this. She looks nothing like the woman I knew and loved before. Yet I know it's her. I can feel it in my heart. She so skinny Amais eated, even and on the brink of starvation
I didn't even realize it could happen. I myself haven't eaten in weeks, get, I feel completely fine. She just keeps repeating the same sentence over and over. I don't understand
I tried to be good. What did I do wrong? I tried to.
Answer. To leave with me, but she doesn't even recognize who I am anymore and I can't simply force her believe me. I tried up here, it's impossible to do anything to
Anyone against their will. I
realize that when I tried to write down what I saw in the first day, but found that I couldn't form the words it's hard to describe, but we have free will here as long
as we follow the rules. Anything else is literally impossible, the angels
their attention to me after I hung around your mother for more than a few days. They told me
leave her alone? I tried to explain, but they wouldn't listen.
I had to leave her Ashley. I couldn't stand to see her like that, but I'll keep checking up on her. I promise after I tried the
ideas I could think of. I asked some other people here for help, but most of them are just like me new in clueless the few veteran
I found only tell me to let it be that I'll get in trouble. If I keep messing around I've, gotta go now they're. Looking at me, I love you Ashley. I hope we don't see each other too soon. Just live a good life. It's far too shy.
His handwriting seemed rushed tored the end. I must have read through that letter a dozen times trying my best to figure out what was going on
They had no means of tracking this letter. I couldn't do much other than listen to my gut a.
Change as it might sound. I believed every word I was reading. I decided that the best thing I could do is respond. I would write to my dad and see what happened
honestly. I felt kind of stupid, as I put the letter down at my doorstep, expecting it to like magically vanish during the night, but even the smallest chance at contact
getting him in the afterlife was one worth taking, of course, when I open
and the following day. It was still there MOO Shi with smudged ink from the small storm that passed through over the night defeated. I could do nothing but wait for another year
as my birthday rolled around again, I hatched a plan to catch. Whoever was delivering the letters I can't outside in my garden waiting for the culprit hours passed
I waited from the early hours, but as midday arrived, I decided I finally had to call it quits and head back inside and there it lay on the other side of my front door. On top of my slippers e, perfect silver envelope, with my name on it, dear Ashley
I found someone willing to answer my questions. They claim they've kept an eye on me for some time, but that I wasn't ready to see them, so they kept waiting, hoping I'd one day come around, I'm not
exactly sure what they meant by ready, but they say that until I see with this place truly is I won't understand.
Unlike my other companions, these people, weren't smiling. They didn't seem healthy, but appeared as sickly twisted
human beings that have long since forgotten who they once were? They gave me a heads up, though, that time only passes as fast as we need it to that year can feel like a century or it can pass by in a week whatever that means they mentioned something they simply refer
two as the dome. They say it in the center of the city and almost impossible distance away. They offered to take me,
once I'm ready, but I can't I need to stay. I have to take care of your mother. Of course, the silver
He still stands tall and magnificent with the food has lost its taste drink just feels unnecessary.
I've indulged on occasion tried to recreate the feelings I had when I first arrived here
to no avail. My only purpose now is to find a way of reconnecting with your mother. I know
I can get through to her. I just need to find a way while I search
answers, I still visit her from time to time just to sit by her side as she stares off into the distance
maybe I'll one day get a glimpse of what occupies her mind, and hopefully she knows that she's not alone. I know she's a
broken, but as long as I'm able to I'll protect her, I promise you that Happy birthday Ashley
happy. I have the opportunity to stay in touch, even if it's impossible for you to respond. I love you dad
tell my life went on from then each year. On my birthday, my father sent me a silver letter, just updates from the after life and as bizarre as it felt I felt happy to have a connection with my dad, though it had been partially tainted by the image of my sickly mother standing a top of the spire. On the fifteenth anniversary of my father's death. My life had taken a drastic turn for the better. I just got engaged to the,
love of my life after five years and this all came atop a promotion at work. All in all, life seemed to be going my way, and my birthday was just around the corner and, as always, I eagerly awaited that silver letter and there it was
hang on my door step, except rather than a perfectly smooth envelope with those vines and symbols that I've gotten so used to. I found a crumpled piece of paper.
One covered in a handwriting, incomprehensible phrases and drawings. Ashley she's gone
your mother Helen. I went back to the spire, I had an idea, but she simply vanished, leaving nothing behind no trace that she ever even existed. I knew something.
Wrong even before getting there, the buildings have always seemed impossible eat all, but that time I just couldn't get up the stairs they kept going for days
weeks of climbing and once I finally reached the top, I was alone. I searched the entire section of the city, climbed each building to the top, after whatever person was willing to talk to me, I don't know what to do
I haven't eaten anything since we last spoke a year ago. Nor have I had a drink, I don't sleep, I don't
Do anything other than search for her. I will.
To send you a letter earlier. I needed to tell you what happened, but I had to wait because of those rules damned rules a few weeks ago. I approached one of the
cards. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but if Heaven was real, then God had to be somewhere up here. I asked the guard about it and he laughed at me:
He touched me on the shoulder and whispered a few incomprehensible words into my ear. It was like a fail had been lifted off me. I could truly see this place for what it is. A concrete jungle
with the sky so dark. I don't know how I didn't notice it before the bill
things around me once would I considered works of art so perfect, a creation that simply couldn't be built by man? I finally see them for what they are
old, run down concrete prisons on the brink of collapse. They should.
Fallen long long ago. Get there they stand.
Find all logic of pitiful sight to behold. The people I came here with have long since gone.
All of them are heading towards the dome in their place,
and binding, more and more people have been here for an eternity hundreds, thousands of years and they all seem the same they're all diseased. Whatever features they once had, whoever they once were doesn't matter anymore. They'd simply existed,
for far too long, an eternity of time to wash away what once made them human. I think
time for me to wander through the silver city. Maybe I just need to reach the dome. Maybe I can
find your mother there, and maybe I can finally get some answers. Whatever the cost, I can't go on like this.
I'm not sure how long it will be until I send another letter, the road toward the dome is different, but this is just something I have to do. I hope you understand dad five years pass without another silver letter. The first
I was worried. The second I felt scared, but as the third and fourth rolled around I honestly felt relieved, it was as if a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoe
I never been much of a religious person before my father died. Yeah, I never fear death.
Now. Knowing what awaited me on the other side, wasn't the perfect Heaven we've all been taught about, I felt horrified is guilty as
it makes me feel I never wanted to receive another letter from my father and honestly, I didn't think I would, but there still is habit ingrained in me an today's, my birthday, the 20th anniversary of my father's death. So I go out check my front doorstep and there on the ground, Leah Silver Envelope. I slowly pick.
Up in on comfortable in dissipation. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. When I looked at it there were these crudely drawn pictures that covered the front symbols. I couldn't decipher and drawings of a dome like structure, surrounded by bizarre shapes that I assumed to be twisted
buyers on the inside I found another letter, but it was.
Filled with meaningless phrases, jumbled, words and sentences. I couldn't understand it was a mess of erratic handwriting that were nonsensical and horrifying from this several pages filled to the brim with text of varying sizes. All I could make out was the following:
They gave us everything. We wanted all the imaginable pleasures of the world and more only to take it away piece by piece until there was
nothing left with the memory of better times a cruel joke played on us by whatever creature rules this place. I thought this was heaven, but it's not I mean hell, we're all.
In hell, but it's not a punishment. It never was it's just all there is death. Is the big
of a nightmare that never ends and there's no way out no alternative. I'm going
enter the dome. Now
I don't know what I'll find on the other side, but I feel this will be the last letter I ever sent you enjoy what you have left of life Ashley, because once it's over you'll be right here by my side,.
it was written by Richard Sachs. It was produced and performed by me and David flowers was the assistant producer for the series are theme was created by Justin Dan
This story was modified slightly for audio retelling with the authors consent. So, if you want to read the original version, you can go to full body, chills, podcast, dot, com and be sure to come back tomorrow. So I can tell you another story that will give you full body chills. Full body chills is an audio
chuck production. So what do you think Chuck do you approve? Thank you to simply save for sponsoring this episode of full body chills. Remember if you want to be spooked, but not scared. This Halloween season just visit safe dot com, Slash F,.
Transcript generated on 2019-11-06.