Here. Listening to the gold digger pod guest episode number sixty nine. Today I am sharing something that I feel like a lot of a struggle with, because at the core of our beings, we are people pleases and we are yes people, I want to share about how you can graciously say no without feeling dealt in. What that's look like in my journey is not prefer within my business and within my life, so I want is to lead to our best. Yes is an intern, I'm gonna teach you how to say. No, thou letting others down your listening to the gold digger podcast with Jenna Culture, the live workshop style business podcast for creative girl bosses, so you can train from the experts

dig in, do the work and tackle your goals along the way: here's your health photographer educator, artists and MAC and she's lover Jenna culture. This episode of the gold digger pod gas is sponsored by honey book. Honey book is the management's after that I used to stay, organise, manage invoices, get paid an give. Every client and elevated unforgettable experience. Honey book is offering twenty percent off exclusively for gold. Digger listeners just go to honey book dot com, ash gold digger to get started and get your life back today, pay gold diggers, it's gonna go to her, and today I am really excited to have a common season that? I think a lot of us struggle with not a lot of us talk about it, because we don't even realize it. What I want talk about is how to graciously say no and how did not feel guilty about it now

the answers are, if you like me, you love being a people pleaser, and you are probably a yes person, you I have to say yes to as many things is you can you are likely overextended may be stressed out, maybe burnt out, maybe you're taking on things to simply aren't the rightful, because you really sink add saying no and so on. This sounds like a really weird conversation to have. I want to share experiences with you, because I have learned over the time how who graciously decline things? How did not feel guilt about it and how to really leaves or focus in Ottawa air. My time is best spent and where my energy, He is going to move things forward. The most now there is absolutely a time in my business, where I felt like I had to say yes to most of the opportunities that were arriving in my inbox Always would be getting these weird things reaching our people that wanted to collaborate in always just said: yes, because there is this,

fear within me that if I was going to say no, I was going to miss my big break or miss getting. There air, which, let's be honest, there is no there now I have a really strict criteria: and I say no to weigh more things actually probably say no to about nine ie, eight percent of the things that land in my lap Now one of my favorite books that my amazing amazing team member Caitlin got me was shown in book called at present over per. Right here is a line from her book I highlighted I wanted to print out. I wanted to tattooed on my forehead, but basically it says you cannot have a yes without or no another way to say it is if you're, not careful with your yes is used start to say no to some very important things, without even realizing it in my rampant, yes? Yes, yes thing, I said no without intending

two to rest to peace, to ground the news to listening to deepen slow. Action built over years instead of moments. I love that book and, if Thou sought, It's like a slap in the face or a wake up call. I'm not sure What is, but before reading it. I can honestly look you in the eye and tell you that I failed to rest. I really suck at it. Still do on day? is where I actually a time and space to rise. I would search for something to fill my time with avoiding this slow down, avoiding silence? Is you time and oh, I found myself welcoming the restful moments. However, few and far between they were- and I started to really look at life in business as a place that needed margin. In order to appreciate the meat of it without that space. Without rest, I couldn't appreciate the busy the guide I'd never worked out of here piece of have to I genuinely now wake up excited to do it. I'm about to do, but that doesn't

but you have to do it all the time. Twenty, four seven after our reach, the miscarriage drew and I decided to just get away for a week. We cleared our schedules and flew off too taxes which was superwomen super amazing and It really reminded me in just show me how far I had come in arresting. I was able to clear everything let might and take care of the stuff that was on the agenda into action. We rests again. Think I logged in maybe once to check email over that weak that was something that would have never ever in a million years happened even just a year ago. So When I started to really look, I what China had said in really we, the undersigned like every time him saying yes to things that aren't just the right. Feder aren't quite on brand or aren't quite what passion about it generally It's too a no to something else, whether that be a data

withdrew weakened spent at the cabin time with my dogs, a nap, maybe other clients that could have been the right fit. I mean have you ever now I can just raise my and may it is already in the year have you ever booked a client thy dinning, quite all right, but they were ready to book you and they want a juicy like. I guess I'll, take them and then your dream, It came along and you couldn't say yes to them. You had to say no, because you said a year. Some might not have been right. Man that sucks. Doesn't it now. Why does this margin look like in my life? freight now. It's you know it's weird. To talk about margin. I feel like it's a little trendy little hard to grasp, but Finally, have it it's like good this goodness gracious. How did I not have this before its looks like a month's about a call in Hawaii. His look like some really a new project are working on, including a product shop. A book.

Ask your mind. It looks like action date nights out with no phones, it looks like not flicks marathons or random trips. Our papa weakens a yes to them thoroughly funny. Because I have none of that. In fact, there would when a really good chance that I would still have none of that, had I not learned how to hire and had I not learned how to graciously decline, and I think at some point I realise that every I was saying yes to these small things. I was saying no to the big things and the big things are the things that make impact the big These are the things that change lives. A big things are the things that move me forward in bigger way so that I can make a big difference on this planet. Saying yes to so many little things that I never actually got to. The big things like you might do This was stacked with those monotonous list of projects and those really big important.

Suited the bottom and they never got touched. Saying: no has actually affected the profitability of my business in a really good away, which might some surprising but here's how, by saying yes to things that really drive my business forward, I am able to not only be more profitable but to work from a place of rest. On a place of stress now, allow out of times you're going to get opportunities that land in your remarks are in your messages, and the thing is that those opportunities are uniquely disguise, is an opportunity to move you forward, but the truth. Most of the time, it's an attempt for that person, two of their business forward answer when I was saying yes all these things for fear of missing out or missing my big break or ruining our relationship or starting relationship. I was,

really not being able to focus on which direction my business is going. It was going in a million directions because I was doing a million things per million other people, but those million if things were moving, the millions of other people's business is forward, while mine probably was sitting a little bit still now that we ve covered. Why saying knows important, maybe you're, like ok, I'm gettin it I'm gettin it like. I gotta start learning how to say. No, let's cover how to do it. Graciously because saying no can feel a little Ikey configure letting people down can feel like a negative thing and as a people please that was super hard for me at first, but I wanna explain how I handle it now, because no oh, does not need to be a negative thing in your life. It can actually be the most life giving word you can ever learn how to use and so I want to show how to do it without letting people down, doubt feeling that gills without questioning am I making a bad decision here. So

number. One way that you can say no is saying: hey like now is not the right time, or this is easy quite the right fit. But how can I support or encourage you in another way. How can I pray for you? How can I left you up? How can I answer request Jim for you here Can I give you an opportunity or an offer. A product or service can help you when you say no, it doesn't have to have a period after it can say: hey not right now, but how? Can I help you or what can I do, you beyond what you're asking of me now, even though I am often saying no more than yes, I still try to support each person that lends my remarks if airline king for say one on one mentoring on a specific topic. The link them or send them to freebies or blog posts are passed. Episodes that I've done in order to get them started, or maybe I'll point them to appeal during my industry that I think might be able to help them. When somebody incur.

Fires, about a non wedding session operation with my fever photographers in my area that do that type of work. That they're looking for same is if I'm already books on a wedding day no doesn't just have to be short and called it doesn't have to be. No, you can genuinely show that you care and support them. Even if you can't complete the ring Christ, as they may have hoped when I was first turning out ass, a photographer, I legitimately would shoot any possible subject weather it was a dog, a human, a baby, a wedding. I would take anything anyone that was willing to pay me any money to do what I loved but surely after I started to realize like China, I love weddings, like I love wedding, so much I'm saying yes to newborns and senior portraits and families? Maybe that's good will you do a lot and NOS four weddings that I really want to do, but it?

it's weird feeling like every time. Somebody inquired and I was going to say no, I felt like I was just letting him down like man these evil. Gonna, be so upset that I don't do this. We here's the thing guys. Nobody cares that much I hate to say that, like we put her those on these patterns stalls and we create he's boxes that we put ourselves into and then we get angry that we're in them, but guys were putting ourselves in them in the first place, when I start to realize that people actually respect me. When I say hey like I am so excited that you want to have a family portrait session, but trust me when I tell you. I am not the girl for you. I M a wedding photographer through and through give me a veil and some fancy shoes in our will, but give me a few remember anxious kiddos and I might flail. So here are some amazing family photographers in the area within your budget that are available for your date and guess what I'm action leave living out that whole community over competition movement- it's not just words,

hashtag. I am supporting my p as in the industry, when I do that- and I am all supporting those people inquiring who cared enough to even ask if I was available, think about it, it's not a negative thing. When you can preserve what you love when you can. Reserve your time and when you can point people the direction that's going to help them, what the hardest things for me is that we get so many emails every single day I mean guys, I'm talkin hundreds and when I first, and finally got help in my inbox. It was like this wait offer my shoulder and fairly certain thou in Caitlin join my team I'd thousands of unready emails. They ve only got up volume as I continued to grow, but I feel I feel like I want to help. Everyone like. There is a desire within me, but I knew that I couldn't do it on my own and I knew

But if there is a way that I could take down off my plate, I could serve a bigger audience in a bigger way and so didn't say. No. Never, I didn't say eight. Let's just leave these unready moved on. I found a solution, so the next step of encouragement that I have for. You is to have accountability it. Is so easy to fall back into saying. Yes, when you should be saying no, you guys love what you do, which I know you do and amazing opportunities come up. That are a good but maybe not the best fit in your tempted to say yes all over you have someone that you can call, or until you write, by them, think it through and asked If I say yes to this, why consequently be saying no ass people that have accountability one of the earliest things that I did in my career, which some people think is whole areas. As I said, I will not shoot weddings between daylight saving time, so when the clock falls back or when it springs forward that,

poor five six month window whatever it might be. I will not. Take a single wedding on now, a lot of my peers thought it's crazy. When I said those- but there are few reasons- one I hate the winter to it- gets Billy dark and called out, and I want to be shooting in that. But three I knew that I needed to have a very cold and hard deadline so that I could his politely decline and not wonder like who, should I take this winter? What anger this new year's Eve wedding so I do that should do. That is at the right thing. I had to create these bound trees, and then I had to have accountability. And a lot of times, things had come up or really dear loved ones, would ask me to photograph their weddings during daylight saving so, and I have to tell through I'd, be like look me in the eye, just tell me to say no still me to say no I mean to say no, and so accountability can really be huge out. For me, Kalen I gave keeper of the inbox, so she is absolutely up to date. Every single day on my goals on mice

draw on what Priorities are in the business and she does her. Absolute bason, my gosh, you guys she does a great job of protecting my schedule. She the first one to see all of the opportunities- and I am less tempted to say yes to the wall, instead it should be saying no to so. Basically, Caitlin goes through my inbox. I cannot login until she has gone through it, she will go through Read all the messages, respond, all the emails and go through all the pudding job opportunities, and she will only forward on ones that she think find p a potential good fit and then, the one to make that decision now. Having some do those like be the gatekeeper, it might be really far off in your business, but I can tell you that as absolutely changed my life because every day I was starting out so overwhelmed by all these potential things that could be doing that almost was just paralyzing actually doing things I should be doing, and so having

just really go through flag, the things that she thinks are good fit politely decline. The things such as mine be within our toolbox. At the moment, man, I can't even put into or its. How amazing that is so I just share a few specific examples that I consistently say no to within my business so that you can print understand like ok. What does it look like in action? and so I want to just help inspire you to really right down examples of things that you will say no to and in turn, then you can. I dont list of things that you will be saying yes to, because a guest f, that's funny, surf guys so number one any time that there is a non wedding photography inquiry we have I can't response that we send out it's a template, it gets right. To the chase. It tells people. Thank you. So here's what we say we say thank yous,

oh much for reaching out and sharing your photography needs with me. I am absolutely the honoured that you have inquired about my photography services at this time. I am solely focusing on a wedding photography and unfortunately I am not cheating expires e over the years. I have decided to dedicate in specialised my time into one area. Photography so that my brow Aids can have a one of a kind experience, I truly hope, you understand, I am so happy to pass along any recommendations of talented photographers in your area, and I am just so graciously hoping that you can appreciate that I am saying no and that's it and here's the thing s white people, respect that they love that they acknowledge tat. Also We do not really really really good job of branding ourselves so that people know like hey. I don't think so really does is, but I mean is worth asking about and then, when I declined, it's not a shark, so you're not

go to my website and see a bunch of family portraits and then have me say no, I don't do that. You have to be very specific in how you are laying out your brand, your image, your webs, What you're sharing online, if you're, showing safety you don't wanna, be doing you gotta stop now guys, because that is why you're going to kill You need to get inquiries, her work that you're not excited about trust me That is a one way street to burn out. So we created it implant so that Kate Lincoln quickly respond in my tony my voice in my brand and get back to people it away and let him know hey decisions and they we currently offer, but here's some solutions for what you are requesting now during my busy season, we also have a response, because guess what I am not logged into email all day every day. So here is what we say during my busy season. We say thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story as you can. Agent summer is my busies in both as an educator and as a wedding photographer and while

who would love to, and then I answered in their request my time and summer is spent hustling and relaxing with my sweet family. I share it about what I'm doing on my blog and podcast in poor all of my energy into supporting entrepreneurs through my online. Courses and the gold digger podcast, and we link to all of our resources. We politely decline in plain that hey guys were busy. This are busy season. I hope you understand or respect that and we hit send with confidence, and so it's good, just remind people like hey, we heard you got your email. We understand that you have a need, but right now we just cannot fulfil it now we also have a response for people looking to trade product for post. So, if you don't know that is, I get so many requests every single day of company I just want to send me their products so that I can post about it and what you don't understand- is that have worked incredibly hard to grow my following, and with that I am

very, very, very careful about what I share. I want you genuinely share things that I love, and I also thing, that I should get paid to advertise their products because I've hustled hard to grow the file. Lange and gain the trust of my followers, and so this is we respond when we get that request. We say thank you so. For taking the time to reach out, share the dreams you are dreaming and for letting me into your life. I am so thankful to have opportunity and platform to work with such wonderful people to be entirely Billy, candid and honest I've been getting hundreds of inquiries per week for wonderful companies and beauty what causes, and at this time I just need to politely decline. While I figure out what my next steps will be, my feet is art He felt with puppies marriage. My photography and the few causes that I'm intimately involved in, and I ve built my brand. I'm living authentically, keeping it real and doing good and in turn I have captured a lot of attention. But with that comes the time to do so I'd where we are headed in the direction we are going and why we would like

I have to share all of the good you are up to. I have two regretfully say no, I hope you understand at this time. We are not accepting product for post fewer still, interested in working together, I am happy to send over my media kit for more promotional info, nation, and we can always team up. Let me I know, and I can get it over to you and said hours it is twofold. As saying hey. Thank you so much for reaching out. I'm really proud of what you're doing I'm excited for your business behave. I also have my own business and I am using my platform to share that and if you want to partner up in a bigger way. There is an opportunity, but it's also not locking into saying yes to something that might not be a fit while it was supervised to get a lot of free products at the beginning, it's not my lifestyle anymore or like. I want to be very, very careful about What I am sharing and I want to make sure its genuine it's coming from the right place and so that is how we handle that. Now, when it

I'm saying now a lot of times. We just don't know how to do it in so, if I can encourage you to sit down and make a list of your nose area says and then to craft template responses to the was no so that you are not constantly Ryan, bending the wheel or customer. Each email, based on the request and taking up alive your time or just feeling tempted to say yes, because you don't have time to write the no response. I think it would just Thank you so much time so much energy. So much stress now. Looking back when I was on my upward trajectory as a wedding photographer, I went from twenty five weddings to twenty seven weddings to thirty weddings- and I kept say yes, yes, yes, I kept adding more to my play. What I do realize at that time was that I really was saying no to a lot of things I was no to my faith. I was saying no my marriage, are saying no to my family. I was

a no to a life that I had dreamt about the life that I wanted when I lived corporate Amerika now or does not have to be a bad thing. It can be gentle and it can free you up for it, right, yes, is, I have learned so much, over the years, but I think one of the biggest things I've learned is to really protect my time in schedule so now well. You know the ways that I say. No. I want to share some of the ways that I say. Yes, I, Jane DOE to one on one coaching, I say no to custom water colours. I say go to a lot of things that are only serving one person because they feel called to a higher these to serve a mass audience in a really meaningful way. When I take on those personalize projects. Its taking up time for being able to do things like this podcast or create new options are freely thirdly new weapon hours or build new courses, and what I did realises that when I was saying no

to these who by actually could have been saying. Yes, yes, I hear you, and I see that you need help. If you can just give me some time, I'm going to build something, that is not just going to help you, but it's gonna help hundreds of Their entrepreneurs that are, in your same spot took me a long time I understand that, but now then, about this place, I feel like I am so zeroed in on where I'm heading. That knows. Yes, you are so much easier. I talked about this episodes, but time now money is my biggest motivator, and so, if we really want live as for life. I have to make sure that I am fully my days up with the right stuff in that comes down onto knows, and yes is it's on a grey area guys it is very black and white. I see it so clearly now, because I feel like I have these big pulled project so I'm working on it, I know that these little little little gases all add up to a large amount of time. My time here is limited. It so limited. I feel like time is MIKE,

currency in every single day, my bank is filled up with certain on a there you have- and I want make sure that at the end of the day, I can play God- and I can say, I used everything you gave me- I use every minute intentionally and I moved myself by business and others forward in that time that you gave me today. Thank you. God and so today, friends, as you start to think about those, I want for you to know that no does not have to be negative, that You can graciously decline, you can lose the guilt, so they, you can say your best yeses in life. I can problem do this when you start to get to that point where yes has become your best. Yes, you are going to feel on top of the world here, going to feel These are focused on where you are headed and you are going to make a bigger impacts gold diggers. Thank you so much pertaining in today as ours, you can access to show notes are gold, digger, podcast, dot com, just click on the link to show notes, check out

show today, in all of our past, shows thank you so much returning in and Intel next time, keep on, dig in your biggest schools and don't forget that it's ok to say no thanks for listening to gold, digger dive into show knows for this episode and all past episodes at W W w dot gold, digger podcast dotcom. Thanks for listening and we'll see a next time you gold digging dream chaser. You.