Year. Listening to the gold digger podcast episode, one hundred that's right: one: zero, zero! We hid it. Today's ass is someone that is so special. I found myself closing my eyes and listen to our words as a resonated. I got it nodules avian speak onstage and I swear on my life was changed, and so I knew I had to get around the podcast to share her with the world and I know that what she said, as is going to touch her life? Russia is an incredible author, a poet speaker, she's, a teacher. She as all these incredible things, but, most importantly, she held Give voices to people who have felt silenced to non until today, one hundredth episode for something so special, and I promise you stick around till the end. You are going the closing our eyes and just soaking in knowledge was words

listening to the gold digger podcast with Jenna Culture, the life workshops, style, business podcast for creative girl bosses. So you can train from the experts. How does digging do the work and tackle your goals along the way to use your house photographer educator, artist and MAC and Cheese lover, degenerate cultures. Yo Yo Yo, it is Jenna here and usually this is appointed, to show where pod guess, who's talk for a solid five. Ten, even fifty minutes about some pride, that you need to purchase or some coupon code, and maybe you're like me, and the Jews fast forward through to get to the actual content, but fear not you don't have to do that, here. I dropped all of my sponsors in an attempt to get back to why I started this whole thing in the first place, which is to bring you the best free education twice

big. So today show is in brought to buy a paid sponsor its brought you by my free Instagram guide. Captions that convert that's right. I made a totally free guide, dissecting captains, they don't just get likes in comments, but captions actually convert your followers into clients, because what good is it now under your name, if it's not showing you results in your bank, account so grand this free the resources and more at J K in star dot com. That's right! We all love free! so hop on over to J K instead and up level. Your instagram game in no time are a golden There's! U r! N for one of the biggest treats I recently came across this incredible in aspiring woman and

today I get to share with you and to be honest, this is such a selfish episode, because I've just wanted to connect with her on a more personal level, but we decided to let you in on what a tree, and so I want to introduce you to knowledge, was avian. She is of an canadian author, poets, speaker and educator, and you may recognize her to self published books which our mind platter and the nectar of pain. She is an absolute breath. A fresh air in the writing community and far beyond after her personal experience, being silence. She had made a decision to string her words in a way that resonates with every saw at his soup where a deep level her mission is to give up. Voice to anyone who feel silence and within less than two years of publishing her first book. She now spires hundreds of thousands of people daily to dive into the depths of feeling courageously daring yet beautifully liberating way. I got

here: knowledge why Louis how's event in It just sat mesmerized not just by her beauty but the beauty in what she was saying, and so thank you. So much knowledge offer being Arme show you don't even know how much of an honored is to have you having me and thank you for your very, very kind words absolutely so, let's kick it off and I just would love to open the stage to ask you to just share about your journey and kind of where you ve, been in what has led you to today and who you are today the way that I like to describe my journey. It's the way that I see it exactly for most of my life, I felt invisible and silenced and felt like I didn't matter my voice didn't matter, nothing that I had to say nothing, but I felt muttered. I felt like parts of me were mistakes, my sensitivity, my aunt Bessie,

my ability to truly feel people's pain. Maya, let it be so affected by my environment, I saw those things- ass, about me that I needed to get rid of things Me unworthy love and unworthy of belonging, unworthy of being listened to unworthy of being understood. I'll that way for most of my life and the journey that I've taken to be where I am today in terms of having to publish books and going out and speaking to audiences from everywhere I go there through the Journey self Reflection and the journey up really trying to understand my perception of my work and why I felt the way that I did for so long,

try to uncover that and understand that that process itself was what got me here, because I wrote during that time. Those like very, very, very dark times. Instead completely? Shutting my feelings out and instead of completely putting my thought process out, I actually wrote down exactly how I was feeling and how I was trying to make sense of it and through that and through sharing that with the world, I discover that I'm not alone are not the only one there are millions of people out there who feel the same way and because they this invisible as I didn't, because they felt as unworthy as I did. They just didn't talk about it. So the number one comment I get is thank you for saying what I've been trying to save for so many years. Thank you for putting

into words what I couldn't put into words. So it's that mutual lol craving to discover yourself and see yourself. Through your own eyes and not through the eyes of others. That connection mutual craving is what got me here. I hope that makes sense oh and makes perfect sense, and what is here look like for you re now because before region dine we're just talking about all that you're juggling in kind of how your platform issue king growing. So where are you right now in your life? Well, lighted

this past errors. We might be a totally different place where I am right now is all about a year and a half ago publish my first book that was my first peak into the world. I had nothing going on before that time. I was teaching at the time and aiming to get my teaching career started, and now I'm at a point where I have to publish books, see where media requests from, all over the world? Yesterday I was featured in the New York Times and in the Huffington Post twice I just received Message right now saying I just saw you want tv on BBC and I was on someone sent me a copy of the weak magazine, saying they have your quoth, the mountain school they haven't under wit and wisdom. Under there action and they just took a picture of it same look you're here and so

a point where my words are just. I don't even know what how far they reached, because it seems like they reached as far as anyone would dream of, and I'm very, very, very great full or where I am in terms of that. At the same time, I going to schools and speak too students, and I do that for a free like that, it's not hard to have my speaking commitments that happen in other places, because I do believe that students, especially where I work fine work, you here, I feel it gets my responsibility to try to make a difference. Pressmen students as possible teaching and I dont know where that's going at this point. I am also pursuing my doctorate and educational leadership and

the working on my third book. You are, I am greatly like DR crowd of people. You are crazy in the most beautiful way and I think to those watching your journey unfold lake. It wasn't. Every year intention, which I think is almost more beautiful, because it's just organically happening, and I think that that is so inspiring because I think the world tells us to have all these big plans and have a five year plan and all this in its like, could you have ever even imagined all that has happened right now, honestly, I believe, because I Here's the thing I did science and undergrad I've got it like a bachelor is in biology. I didn't, in my wildest dreams, think that I would be writing or that I would be speaking to people. Like I said to you I felt like I was nothing. I was a nobody. I was just meant to do what's right

I was told, going to science because that's you I think that will get you a job at the end. And I felt like again with those expectations at the world was pudding. Only in that pressure, I felt like well. This is what I have to do and I went- four years of that and then I became a teacher and then I did My masters and education, which I love Should I love inspiring people buy I'm not one of those people who looks rules and says in this field I got here. This is what you have to follow, because I know from myself but I am has nothing to do with the fact that I did I'll do my undergraduate years. I'm here, because I listened to my soul. That told me every night right, just write about. What's going on, it's ok, if you three hours on one page being heard

as long as you are nurtured, your saw as long you're listening to yourself and trying to understand yourself, it's not a waste of time, whereas someone else would say I don't have time to journal. I don't have time to reflect. To get this done in the sun understand. But for me it was literally like in all how a person's addicted to like drinking or drugs or whatever that writing was for me. I had to no matter where I was or what was going on in my life and my paper were just there, were the gall that's what I needed. That was my dolls of I'm doing what right from myself before I even thought of publishing any of it at all it was waiting for me, so that's your original question. I would you have even imagined now, because wasn't. My goal was to be in place

where people know me or to be in a place where I have a big platform. You know close to a million followers worldwide and being renowned by many of the top media, this in the world. Really that wasn't my goal. Goal wise. What do I do for myself? Why me Smith feel like I'm nurtured and what makes we feel, like I'm, thirsty for more And that's what I followed and ass. That is why I am here. I think that our world nowadays like we are shells of human beings because of the pressures that are putting on ourselves or what we are supposed to do, or the rules that were following and were not actually even investing in ours also anymore, no because

the world wants to convince you that that's not a priority. You don't have time to feel you don't have time to tend to your feelings, because if you do, then they call you selfish, because you're spending too much time on yourself, because there are bigger issues in the world that need to be solved and the fact that you're spending time on understanding yourself. Why would you do that? Does the pressure that you get from the world and everybody sees unfortunately as much it's important to make a living and to provide for yourself and be independent. That doesn't have to be independent of you doing why you love and doing so? thing that is making a difference for you at the same time that it's making a difference for the world like you, don't have to be completely distant from yourself to do something That provides for you. So many of the conversations that I have with people

when I listen to people tat most of their conversations are focused on work as a job, work as something that is benefiting them in any way as souls of human beings. You know what I mean so right. We face many pressures on a daily basis. Hidden formed was way and send definition of what success looks like in a certain definition of what we is worthy of your time and what isn't and in all much as I understand those precious because I went with them for a long time and I submitted to them. I was submissive to those precious for so long. I do have to say that, even if you are those pressures you still the choice of whether you're going to let that pressure pressure you or whether you are going to say you know what I know that some

the boy, and I think that things I know that the people I love, don't see devaluing what I'm doing. But what about what I see? What about the value that I see in what I'm going to do for myself? Because, honestly, if every person out there was listening to us right now thinks of what are the things that weigh them down the most. They are the things that they are not tending to, which are self worth confidence, their feeling of accomplishment you're feeling of how good a minor compared to the next person, all of those things that way us down, and we don't talk about them. So we give them a heavy your weight, but imagine that if you took ten to fifteen minutes every night to just sit with yourself,

often say you know this is what I felt today and I'm gonna try to make sense of what I felt today. What's the trigger that made me feel this way, you know when you feel upset something. Nothing happens. Any just feel very upset like really gets to you and you have a whore, all day and you just don't get it? It's just the down day and if one of your friends ass to how was your day say, it was horrible. Like idle I'm just feeling down that day, If you don't take some time to try to figure out, why did I start feeling this feeling was something that someone said and if it was something that someone said. What did it trigger inside of me. That made me feel that down. And when you start asking yourself these questions than you start knowing and anticipating,

and things that are going to cause you the same feeling- and you can just distance yourself from that. But if you keep putting yourself and situation where you don't even understand why you're feeling this down as your feeling is just gonna, keep getting worse day by day. That's why I think it is very important to let go of those pressure, the level of the documents, because people are gonna, judge you, no matter what you do. They're gonna judge you Fort they're gonna find something to judging for like if they can find something to judge for will judge you for the way you walk like that's. The vessel always get or the fact that you know you always look a certain way or no. You walked by me and you didn't say hello. People will find something to judge about. You select the pressures, let go of the judgments and focused. On what it is that you need a. How can you invest in Eurostat man? Oh my gosh. I think this makes the perfect sideways too

I want to hear you share again, and I just want to close my eyes when you do is talking about the idea of home and when you spoke Louis's events, you opened up with one of your palms and you really spoke about how you can't make it

home in anything or anyone else, and I dont want to keep talking about this. I want to open. Is that for you, because you have an incredible way of describing this and tying it into your experience. So can you do that, for my solution is all meaning of this interview? I told you that I spent most of my life feeling invisible silenced. I lived and multiple homes growing up in London on from the age of eight to sixteen for different periods of time, and I was constantly looking for abolishing. I was looking for someone to tell me you belong here, you're heard here, you're seeing here you are worthy of being loved here, your worthy of being respected. Here you are worthy of being listened to hear and I never had not because the people that I state

with that, I mean they were close family members, not because they wouldn't have listened. If I said anything, but it was because of the level of comfort that I had knowing that I was constantly living in different places, and you don't I share your day with just anybody. You have to go through a period of of trust and ensuring that you can talk to these people about what you are going through, and I never got to that point because I was very quiet. It was honestly a reflection of how I received myself and my own worth that just made me cry. I just felt like they're gonna judge me if I tell them, but I'm going through, but. During those years. I was searching for that place of belonging that place where I would just be able to talk about what happens to me on a daily basis, and

How are you feeling expressed my opinion without having any of those fears of Judge Door being told the young Europeans to sensitive for feeling that way or Any of that, so never ever ever felt that, except towards certain places, certain memories things like my journal was part of me feeling like home from the age of thirteen to sixteen and the debt. National home that I go by again. Is that those they go to and fully be yourself fully be on covered, like imagine your uncovered body, but it's not your uncovered body. It's you, your uncovered soul and heart and be fine with those around you see that so when I came to Canada, I wasn't happy with the fact that I was forced to stay here because of the war that broke out back home. So

stop training, then so that took away a lot of my feeling of comfort with myself and how I defined or how I listened to myself, because when, when I start trading, the feeling of being invisible got even worse, I kind of again I felt like I surrendered and my life was going to be in black and white the reason that I don't belong anywhere in the reason that I don't have that home is that something is fundamentally wrong with me and I don't deserve to belong. I don't deserve anybody to love me. I don't deserve Anyone to respect me, I don't deserve anybody to hear me because who am I like? Who am I in this world? It must be my sensitivity and it must be the fact that I young they had entered the little detail. That must be all those things are just making me completely

less and I believe that for seven straight years and then when I started writing again, it was when I started teaching and seeing my students going through the same struggles that I went through a sixteen year old who just arrived in a new country. And I started writing for them to empower them, and I realise with time that I wasn't writing for them only. I was writing for my sixteen year old self and helping her heel, because the day that I decided to stop riding at sixteen, because I was in a new place and writing was just too painful. That day was the day that I chose to not heal from what I was going through, and I carried that wait for seven years and I didn't start healing. Sixteen year old self until I started writing again and shortly after that, I

Someone who I believed was this was the home. You know when you have a dream home. This was the dream, because this was a person who saw the things about me that I saw were mistakes and were reasons for shame and just absolutely love them. As the person who gave me attention a person who listened to me, a person who found- Absolutely everything in me and I invested everything I had and when I say invested, I'm referring to again that sole peace that love peace back carrying all of the amazing feelings that I could give. I gave them to that person.

You know one day he walked away, and I see it now. I see the reasons for it now, but at the time I couldn't because I was too blinded by the fact that I no longer have a home and I was to be traded us feeling, like I put in I put so much love towards this home but so much care to. What's this home, I gave so much of my time up to to listen to this home and try to understand this home and I deserve to be part of it and I no longer an and again I am not referring to the physical home, I'm referring to the human being with time. I started feeling like my goal was to feel like?

more than it was to be with that person because, again through the process of self reflection, I was asking myself: why do I want to be I want to be part of someone's life who doesn't value me. Why I'm beating myself. This was one of the most. I opening reflections that I have I was to so hard to change myself too. Big game, a part in this person's life that I lost myself I became a person that I didn't know, and it just hit me out. One point when I talked about that picture that my dad showed me show me picture I was less than two years old and I was holding his hands tightly and I was smiling turn, my dad said

Do you remember this picture and he said women picture that you share on Facebook for fathers day. He said when I was holding her hand and that picture I said to myself. This girl is going places because of the look that I saw in your eyes, and I don't see that look any more and that just completely made me see things different. Lee, because I went and looked in the mere that night, and I didn't see myself- and I have described this many times before the same way. But I honestly saw a face. Looked like a sky that was choking. You know when the weather is just Monday out there and doesn't know whether it's gonna rain or be sunny or snow or it is. The sky, looks like it's choking in that the person that I saw in the mirror and that wasn't it True me that wasn't me that small! I am so I started asking myself. Why do I want to be part of

prisons? Life was not even going to love me, for I am I'm. I'm the change and the someone that he loves he should love me the way that I am. Why am I saying myself through his eyes, and I need to be seen myself through my eyes that shifted everything for me. So, instead of saying the harm that are invested so much and in the home that walked away and made me feel engines that I've seen that as a weakness? I said to myself, you know what I do have the right to feel empty, because it True, I gave so much love. I have so much of my time. In all day he's in months of my time towards this home, and now that it's gone of course, I'm gonna feel empty but I am the source of love, I'm the one who put loving home. That means I can make it again and put it in my own home in my own self, in that person that I

to invest in which is me, I'm going to walk around looking for me, both welcome me into their lives before I welcome myself into my own life before I see mice else for you. I really am so wherever I go now: definition of who I am and myself worth isn't dependent on the humans are the places or the ideas that welcome me. I have a home within me and I will feel like home wherever I go. To be honest. We all have this love hate relationship with Instagram we find ourselves scrolling were ash taking our way into oblivion, trying to crack the code on how to it more followers and were straight up exhausted from the rat race. I get it That is why I want to help you this show.

Is made possible, with the help of my totally free install resourcing to help you write captions at convert to use hashtags at actually connectivity or dream clients, and so much more hop on over to jail, Kay instead dot com and get your hands on my resources created with you in mind. That's right to free ninety nine and it is waiting for you over J K. Instead, dotcom go dig on in an all see over on the Graham. Good. I'm just like closing my eyes and listening to you, because I think We often do this in our lives without even recognising a you know. Absolutely we do- and I again I hate to tell people you're doing this because something's wrong with you like that we are hard wired and Bernay Brown says this were hard wired for connection. We want to feel like we belong. We wanna be welcomed into people's lives

sure thing, I want to be heard. We want to be seen, but the mistake that we make is that he always aim to be seen by the people who don't see us, because and to be heard by people who don't hear us, because some. How is a self fulfilling prophecy c of I'm not good enough so I'll, go after the people. Why no aren't gonna hear me. I know we're going to see me because they don't want you, and I tell myself there you go on proven to myself that a worthy, because those who are not welcoming me but imagine I've, looking at an experience where someone makes you feel like you're unheard, where you know it could be any contacts. It could be in a relationship, it could be in the workplace. You say something and the other for in either ignores you or,

It's what you say in a way that makes you feel, like I just said it and you're taking full credit, or day here you, but they misunderstand you intentionally Imagine that you, instead of looking at that as they did that, because something is wrong with me and because I deserve that they do that to me and instead thinking well, I said what I had to say and their choice to not hear me out. Is there boys and reflects on then I would never be like them. I'm doing what I know is right: it is that shift in your perception of splaining the way that people react to you or treat you. The change your life absolutely through? I want to hear about. I mean the fact that you are writing for yourself and then went on to publish what was it like. Pudding

your words out into the world and make how did that come to be, because I imagine it must have been really scary, was scary and at the same time it wasn't because when I decided from my words out there, I was still under the sole overwhelmed by that same feeling, love who do you think you are and the reason I published a book. My first one mind: platter, is: I wanted all of my writings to be in one place and I wanted to say I have a boy and part of the reason that I didn't go towards publisher and, like I did not submit my manuscript anybody pitch it. I didn't do anything just one: on Amazon, myself published it. The reason that I did that was that I said to myself. I dont want but myself under the mercy of someone else, accepting me or someone else saying all this is

I just wanted to do it and I did and anticipate that my work would or that my book would reach nearly as many of you. Was it today. I said to myself of this book makes a difference for one person if it makes a difference for one person who felt in the same way that I felt of feeling out of place in feeling, like I don't matter and feeling like I'm in Isabel if it makes one person feel seen and heard tat would be enough for me and when I first put it out there I knew that I was opening myself up to people saying, oh, my god. She focuses watch on feelings. Something is wrong with her. I knew that I was opening myself up to that. At the same time, I was educating myself on vulnerability and I was edges myself on

How I need to night again submit the pressures of the world and tell myself, This is what I believe, and this is what I'm going to do it, regardless of what people have to say. So Yes, it was a big job and a big exposing moment for me to put my words out there I saw my purpose. Wasn't again. Gain an audience. It wasn't to gain attention. My purpose was to liberate myself and say I dont care more about what people think. This is how I think this is how I feel so, once people started, sharing my work and peoples. That thing in saying honestly, the number one comment I get is thank you for pudding,

into words what I've been trying to put into words for years? That's the number one common I get and I go lots. Thank you for giving me a voice. I know I'm not alone you Helped me more than a therapist has helped me not that I'm saying that I'm better than therapists, but there the power in telling people me too. I felt the same. Two or I feel the same thing to and, like I said to you earlier, we tend to high. Those feelings because we feel so ashamed of themselves. Nobody talks about them its purpose, if they're, just they're. So am I a person in their struggle, feels like there alone, but when one person says me too, then another one says me to than another one. Does me too now create. A community of people who are saying saying

God, I'm not the only one. That must mean nothing is wrong with me. Then a nation there, the power in another person story relate into your own? That is better than light winning the lottery because he began the soul, you just felt validated and you can't put a price Absolutely I mean I feel like what a gift to be. Permission granted to be that person that kind of paves away because, like you said people, Try to sum up, their experiences are to put words behind them, but often struck. If they're not gifted in a way of doing so and so You are like almost opening this door. I'm still try, I mean honestly, one of the most insane offers and gifts that you could ever possesses human being like. How does that feel idea

you understand the impact that you can have. I'm still trying to. Yeah I understand now. Joy is like this pine sized, like those reviewed, tiny woman, like it's just in saying how powerful you are. A friend of mine yesterday sent me a picture of a little and carrying out like a big. These them would staying. This. Is? U, like zoning underestimated you today this day that I was never stand on an ant ever again. You'd, better honestly feels so liberating it feels so liberating and I get

very recently been receiving messages like aren't you worried about how people are going to read like the nectar of pain and see how vulnerable you were an ant and how you admit to having certain feelings and end you're talking about your darkest moments of like pretty much begging, someone to welcome you into their life and all these aren't you worried about that now that more and more people are knowing about you, or are you worried about the judgment that you're gonna get as muslim woman who is out there who too? Many is wearing a symbol of oppression. Are new worried about things like that, and I say I am not worried at all, because my goal is to me the difference in the world. I want to change the world. I want people to perceive talking about feelings differently. Say you know who I am worried about people reading my books and seeing the vulnerability that is like dripping from them. I wouldn't be a hypocrite.

I won't be a hypocrite to say that I feel that, with every copy of my books, It is sold with every video that I make with every For that I stand on any stage that I take any audience that I speak too. I think like I'm, changing one more persons, I have one more audiences life, and I don't doubt inside of me that by telling them that you know it to break. Yes, yourself and embrace your soul and learn about yourself. I have no doubt, my time on those issues, I am giving not that much to start. Changing their lives in too much better lives, so going that's your question. I feel.

I feel liberated, I feel very accomplished by making a difference for as many people as as I can not crazy the to say those words after Just thinking about how you felt silence to just even say, like I feel liberated is not crazy. It is because I never thought that this day would come. I never ever this day would come. I gave the power over my own healing to the people who would not hear me to them. HU. I gave the heaviest weight of validation for myself and for a long time I felt like I don't hear me, then I will never be hurt. I will never be able to hear from this I was I was actually I was waiting for them to say what happened to. You was horrible, start here from it like it

myself permission the start, feeling that thin and start grieving and getting them south out of it I was stuck. I was stuck validation so much of saying: I'm gonna make my own voice. I dont need anybody to define me. I don't need anybody to say Nashua, you have a voice starts, speak I'm gonna speak and I'm gonna give myself a voice so that then I did that succeeded at that. I, and tell you how I want to cry Don't cry. You can try every day. I know that, had I not been silenced, my voice wouldn't have the power that it has today.

But I will never say never say that if I could do it all over again that I would go through the pain again, because it was too painful, and I I would wish upon anybody at all to go through what I went through me. I went through some very, very dark moments where I just see. Not that I was suicidal, but I didn't see myself as part of this world any more. I didn't see a place for myself in this world. Anyway, I felt like I was in this dark dark, dark corner where I was giving up on myself in every way you can imagine as As someone who as a student, the teacher as a speaker as a writer I fully gave up on myself and someone else what a state in that. Spot and I didn't so

I dont know that if I were to go through that pain again going back, if I would followed the same journey by Do you know that the journey that got me here and allowed to be a survivor instead of someone who completely surrendered, is the fact that I didn't put my pants down the fact that I kept driving without caring about who. Why, where when and if someone was going to read them like I mean I just imagine and try to envision you in these days and what I think I just so incredible is that even in those dark days, you're writing almost hear future self or to people that are walking

without even knowing you know like worse so strategic these days and were so thoughtful and so plan and you see the beauty that came from such a struggle from such a hard time without having any intention, but to focus on yourself in that beautiful, our space? Like? Can you imagine if, during that period, you knew that that would change lives and ill at ease live like I said I didn't think it mattered altogether and that's what led me to to because the powerful thing about writing is that you have the ability to shape you're writing, however, you want you have the ability to end your story. However, you want you have the ability to arrive, against a struggle that you're in right now that you just don't see an end to, but

a powerful is it to end one of your journal entries by saying, but I will conquer I will survive, This is a hard thing that I'm going through, but I am going to get out of this house Our is it did you see that or do you just write that, after any struggle that you have very, very, very powerful and that's what I did through my writing. I had this is horrible. Yes, this feelings horrible, but I'm not going to ignore my feeling. Just because it's horrible, like I have last night, actually have something of a friend of mine. She said to me I'm feeling very down today, something is wrong with me? Why am I feeling so down and I I said, listen why You feel that something is wrong with you for feeling down. Feeling down is a natural feeling worrying Making the conclusion that something is wrong with you, because you're feeling down if

you ought to try to just leave it. Feeling down this is but I'm going to do to get myself out of that instead of saying I'm feeling down. Therefore, something is wrong with me, how about I'm feeling down. So I'm going to do something about it. That's what I did through my writing, and so there the impact that I believe that's the change and the element that caused the impact that my writing his cause affair. That encompasses all powerful the could you a human needs do instead of shame themselves for the way they feel

their stand in the way they feel and therefore heal from it move past it in rise above it at is so powerful Mcguinness. Could you this is off the cuff, but would you be willing to share a little bit of your poetry before We sign off today. You can pick anything I just hearing your words come out of your mouth. Absolute, let me just open a few here, so would you like to you you mind flatter or the nectar of pain. I love the nectar of pain, but I love them. Both saw the one calling, it has really revolutionise my life and hopefully many people around the world is the one from the nectar, Spain and not one, is the dedication of the nectar of pain which symbolise to me, but the book stood for an it. These mountains, that you are carrying your only supposed to climb to me. Symbolized

if you imagine all over these things, I hold you back anyway, you down every single day like feeling that rejection feelings of I don't belong here. Billions us something is wrong with me. Please thank you up? Would you carry them around with us everywhere we go. We do like it's a known fact that that's why kids. Do very well in school. They carry those feelings around with them everywhere they also before you, haven't interaction with someone new. You think why would they listen to me that mountain that you're going on your shoulders, tells you why they listen to you and the weight, because so happy. So I, change the way that I thought of it and said: I'm not going to carry these mountains are not going to carry these burdens, I'm going to climb them and overcome them, and the reason that I chose mountains is that mountains are a they get when you climb a mountain,

it's the same as healing from any kind of pain, because it's not easy. It's you have steep slopes and sometimes you to a point where you have to go down a little bit before you go back up, and sometimes you have to take a break and half through, which is what we do so the time we get so tired and we think I'm just gonna go back down. That's when relapse happens in any kind of situation you say undergoing to go back to my level of comfort. I can't reach the top. This, but once you do and one you overcome that struggle or that feeling it so liberating few encounter it again in your life. You say: oh well, I ve done this before I can good again so, rather than from his I'm in a red, the poem that I read it loses event. Thank you. Rising me one thank you for a silencing me. You lead. Need to break the silence of thousands who met humans. Like you,

chose not to use their hearts the love to allow their consciences to be just or their broken pasts to heal the wounds of the broken thank you for loving me only when you needed someone to love you, you lead I understand that in times of our need for love, our hearts are the most beautiful thing. You for leaving me when I needed you most. You lead me to myself, you leaden. It's an eating, my own heart. You lead me to my voice that page ninety eight of the nectar of pain, amazing, thank you so much work and everybody find your books find you So I look, I'm measures they ban everywhere. You go on Instagram on Twitter on Facebook, if you probably have signed under the podcast, so I won't be able to that's my name, my boss, our on Amazon, because I'm so publish that's the main stream that people from by multiple

bookstores, have you'll be able to fund them anywhere you going They are not their little order them for you there's another one that I would like to read from the nectarous pay. If that's ok with you, yes, please, oh gosh, and then one from mine flattered just so. People can tell the difference between the two the perfect this one here. They walked into my life. I felt like the chosen one. How could a king, like him, love of free soul like mine, How could he love you you for this? thence you'd have to run is far too far, and this soldiers of the battles you'd have to win are gone long gone. He's, championed wars and you're still training the fight run marathons and you're still learning to walk he's cities and you're still learning the maps He sailed oceans and you're still building Europe both must be.

Foolish mind crafting stories with invisible, ink and reading between the lines that don't exist. Then you told me that you love my smile and The time after that, you asked me what perfume was that I wore I felt so lucky than a man like you wanted me in a kingdom like yours and when the gates. Bend and I entered inside I son I think that pleases, the eye you see worked so hard to build your four but forgot to tidy what's inside The years had tainted you every corner was the torture that you'd inflicted on every vessel. And now I look back and think what it fool. You were to think that you could conquer Queens Kingdom like mine. What a fool. I love you my eyes purposes

expanding the other days, I've been contemplating idea. I've been actually wanting to make an audio books for so long and it's just the fried bread. Only. I published my first book lake not even two years ago and the natural thing came eight months after the end, the way that everything happens, optically that's the way why don't have one year, and I put that among the page and I just read it and the feedback I got way maize like we might need Grab age, all relieved from my flatter is Let him go. We often letting go to negativity because we take it as giving up and giving up. As a sign of weakness, that's not always true. Sometimes letting go can be as positive as holding on Sunday. Holding on can be as negative as letting go, letting

What makes you miserable isn't the right decision to make, because, while one opportunity that you are holding onto makes you cry or harder and other activities patiently waiting for you his patiently waiting for you to let go of what you have and hold onto this new opportunity. When you might go of what you have to do it the right way? Don't let go feeling weak, don't let go feeling like you, ve done anything but your absolute best. Don't let go feeling like you are not worth the opportunity. It was not meant to be worth your pain, although it may have been painful think deeply into the purpose. That made you take that opportunity and if you The chief that purpose then take pride in it, give yourself credit Don't ever let anybody put you down. Let go feeling, like the biggest winner and low

loss go home with the opportunity that never appreciated you reflect learn, move on hold on the next exciting thing that the world opens up for. You and put your best forward for your best will never let the inner you down, however, regard what a perfect ending to our time together. I feel like I'm just going to take audio clips of these and listen to them every morning, so that I can do have you in my life and guys national post, incredible videos that are just so inspiring honour in programme and all over social media, so I feel like it I just need a dose of you and our daily lives, and just thank you for sharing your story and for sharing your words that are so sacred to you, because it truly truly is changing other people's lives. Thank you so much for saying that

and I'm not trying to say anything out of not being honest, but the fact that you contacted me and asked me to speak to you that contributes towards life, Feelings of what I am doing is the right thing, and you are making me feel hurt, and you are making me feel like. I have a voice, like a really really mean that, so I hope that the higher. Thank you thanks for listening to me. I'll digger dive into shone out for this episode and all past episodes at W W W Tat gold digger podcast dotcom thanks for this and we ll see a next time. You gold, digging dream teeth. Are you.