There is only one way You can grow and asked to reorient refrain the way that you see failure as being for you, you can grow without failing it, isn't possibility, hey My name is generator, and I am obsessed with all things: business marketing numbers and helping you to navigate both domestic and the magical seasons. Of this thing, called life of a small town nominated, a three hundred dollar camera grew and successful photobooth, and now we work from home run seven thing here. On line business, I teach you the tried and true secrets to building a career. You withdraw shy away from the real talk, no way money, hardship, broke, loss and marketing are all topics. We discussed here think that this is your one: stop shop for happy hour with a gallop. How mix with business will pull up a steep, make sure you're cozy and get ready to be challenged and encouraged. While you learn this? Is the gold digger podcast, this gender roles, kind of mixed cringe, a little bit right from the start, suggesting

that there is any role that any gender must fulfil is limiting and narrow minded. But let's talk about it. Let talk about what it means to bust out of traditional roles of what real men are. Real women should do. I'm proud of you. Part of this shift in traditional generals. I've talked about it before, but there has been drew his assent. Retired tyrant, includes chasing our baby girl around and making sure that I nourish myself after a marathon bad gassed, recording session then drew retired, we're not only com. Double in those quote: unquote non traditional generals, we own them. But, of course, still occasionally encounter the curious or confused person who doesn't quite understand why or how I'm the breadwinner, their antiquated you have a real man doesn't align with what they see in my husband and while society as a whole is largely accepting and expecting of a working women these days, it feels like the views of a quota,

yeah man are slower to evolve. I love speaking with and for women on this pod guess. But when I saw this man's name land, my inbox, I knew it was the perfect opportunity to offer a different perspective on the show, your partner is a man. This is a great discussion here together Hollis is the ceo of the Hollis Co. He is also the husband one of my friends- he you might know very well Miss Rachel Hollis, and in this episode we discuss what it's like to be the husband of that very successful woman. I ask him: gender roles about impostor syndrome and the wise men continue to believe about how a real man acts or feels. I cannot wait. For you to hear this conversation, let's dive on in here is my friend Dave thanks to five or for support gold digger so easy to find freelance talent for your business or projects, don't waste any more time get ten percent

and the service you deserve at EF, I ve r r dot com with the goat gold, digger You're still mailing contracts, vs snail mail are tracking payments with dependent paper and managing you're busy with anything other than a seamless project management system. It's time for any book start your free trial plus get percent off your annual subscription agenda? Jerk dot com, slash honey book? Ok, so we are doing something a little bit different today, and I am so so honoured to invite one of my dear friends, husbands, Mr Deva Hollis onto the shell. Welcome to this show Dave. Thank you for having me this

Awesome so Dave there's so much out there I mean I could go on to Instagram Instagram stories. I can listen to one of your eight but Gillian podcast that you guys produce over at the hall is company, but I really am excited to just have this conversation with you today into kind of peel back some of the layers and some other behind the scenes, especially your recent years, just running a business, leaving your job and joining your incredible wife in the force of nature that she is so this is gonna, be a really great show what get into there's a loud kings, and will you just said John Pack, it I'd like it likely put everything in the kids lunge and our starting to pool the bits and pieces out so Dave for people. I don't know who you are. Can you just gotta give us a walk through a view, your journey that sledging to where you are today and then we'll get into the really good stuff? Yes, so. My name is Dave Hollis, as you identified, I am the husband to Rachel Hollis

We worked together now and have for the last couple of years. Decided to do that after having had completely separate work, experiences and totally different career. So I spent twenty one to twenty years in entertainment during what time I worked Twentyth century far I had a role inside over Hellenes agency. Managing talons destinies child on a mall tour has varied, but your manager, I mean why didn't I do and then I started a career, for seventeen years, I worked in the movie. Studio that, as part of the different jobs I had, I would sell our film product to the people who ultimately bring it to the castle it's you, the customer seven years, I was there. I was the head of sales at the Walt Disney studio which at the time, had Marvel and

Pixar and Lucas Film in Disney as a part of the portfolio of intellectual property, and it was the greatest job on earth. Until it was the greatest job on earth, and in the midst of not being the greatest job on earth and a strange bridge between thirty and forty I started asking a bunch of different questions about why the heck I was on this planet in what it would mean. Sir, take some chances outside of things that I've been previously super comfortable snake connected to relax, certainty and predictability? In my title status, to give you some more when my wife and here. We are now two years later not must analyse, but now in Austin Texas working at the hall company, as we pursue this hope to patrol people's hands and, as they decide to use them, they might make their lives better. I love, then one of them first thing that comes to mind when you're talking about this, like as your saying at the word status, kept coming to me,

and I actually Dave out of the two of you, you and rate I almost identify with you more in a lot of just the ways that you think and the beliefs and the patterns at you, ve held for your life and when where's visualizing. If I closed my eyes and visualize that shift from leaving that place of status with Walt Disney now working with your wife, lock me through it felt like for you I guess it was interesting and hard complicated at an amazing like so many of the emotions are held up in one at the beginning of May deciding to leave a thing that few word I can see now so clearly that I left what I knew for what I needed, but at the time I was leaving something that I knew very very well that I was very comfortable in or the operator to pursue something that would make me uncomfortable like on purpose. I was choosing to leave something that I could

do without having to use a ton of effort for something I did not know how to do well, and that was jarring too about every single part of my identity? And it was against the backdrop how I'd associated my being the President'S- distribution or how might be being a member of the italian motion pictures or how I I get it to go to these events are getting to tell stories of these people that I was interacting with afforded me so thing in the world, a glory in the enough category. In the I see you and in some ways have any potentially for the work that you're doing with faint differently of you to leave those things and then have to hope that there could still be that information in the pursuit of something that absolutely made more sense to me because of what I knew we were trying to go do, but yet because there was not yet Roof in some of what we might have in the world of impact it left. People say

in their hands in furs from yonder. I greatly I was so worried so so worried about what people would think of making a choice that totally made sense to me and asked what they did not for them totally compute like they had this constructs that they were continuing to live inside of and I was suggesting that I was going to leave that constructively. In some ways. I'm sure there was like this. What does he know that I down, because I'm standing inside of the space, There is also some legitimate life. Have you lost your mind. You get your place out sometime, I mean I'm tired story is this: I guess it's interesting illustrates a little bit of time. The car the text that I did not have that benefit from now when I was leaving the company when the title that I had and the worry of one people were thinking. Wonderful is that I approached my wife in

conversation on how he would do this work together with was this topic of title she is founded her company previous. Sheikh media spent fifteen years worth of time, building into something that I could consider leaving the Walt Disney Company for and as much as we made this decision before grow. Wash your face came out, which was a huge influx of appointing the business she spent. Those fifty here's a decade and a half of blood sweat tears, helping poor into a community and stay connected in a way that would afford the workers is doing to actually can act I came to her and asked if I could become the ceo of the oven, my

requests. I can justify it all day long because man, I had this story career and I felt like I had an undue- have some amazing things that come in to an environment that were absolute needs of her business right, she's, the visionary creator, I'm the practical, pragmatic. Greater and greater in the Congo. That's a skills are part of what makes this company work as well as it does bite. My ego was the thing that was was the thing that was asking for a title generously, because I think one she knew how hard it was for me to make this choice and how much I was struggling with the identity shifter the idea, the idea he shouted the beginning. She said yes and it took I'm a man, it probably took a year of us being in the work and a year of me being removed from the weight of the opinions of people who were never ever actually even thinking about me. For me,

to appreciate the ridiculous of having asked or is it do that in the first place and honestly, like the idea that here we have men as a part of the audience, but it's a primarily female audience. They were serving I'd like she As the ceo had been. The ceo is leading this community of women and the idea that my ego- would be a reason to come in and ask yourself anyway. We made this shift for me. This shift back into being the chief operating officer, a thing that I had been playing role wise. You know months back now we ve done it, but it's it was a faith in time that meant so much and here we are now two years and it could not matter less to mean anything happens line and how time Greece perspective. Yeah really? Matters has been an amazing thing, but that just gives you a little bit of a sense of how jarring and disruptive this decision was when I was first having to make the choice to leave. I think that

beautiful illustration, and also a real, cool way to look at how Rachel knew that, like you did, need that significance in that sees in an hour kind of offer that to you. One thing: I am just thinking on so hard as your sharing those in an Rachel's fifteen year journey, because overnight success is not even a thing I think about alive. Listeners that are listening to this show today that side. Hustles that have Hobbes they're, the ones that are staying home in raising the kids are shuffling kids to soccer practice in Munich. Once the kids are in bed there, starting their blogs, ur serving the world are creating an online coarser. Whatever that looks like for them, what was it like when you like. Do you remember the moment when you realise, like Rachel, build something that is so bigger than just her, that is impacting thousands of lives and vaccines. Pour your entire family along with a team. Do you remember what it was like when you kind of realise like this is unjust

side outside this is an actual legitimate thing that is new being out a very quick speeding, yeah instead, because it was probably six months into us, having moved our family, we moved in June two thousand and and around the turn of the year that we were sitting having vision casting session for what was coming into thousand nineteen, where we have the team. Live? How many people we have on the team? What business initiatives we focus on whether they were launches or live advance? She had another book coming out. There was this moment where I actually was landing on the year in review, and I started back in January of that years of six months before we moved I can remember how the pragmatic practical Damien honestly, I tend to kind of go in my how we two things to what might happen in terms

what can go wrong. Game ways to eliminate or reduce the possibility of bad things happening changed a bit in that way. But at that time I definitely was I have a bit of a scarcity mindset, a scarcity mentality, because I Hadn'T- yeah. I've been so fully immersed in the business that she'd been operating in, but I didn't really have an appreciation for while not only what wise, but what could be and, as I was looking at this like what is two thousand I t going to be for us. As I look back to the beginning of two thousand eating in all of the people, that I had all of the car genes that I had about things that I did not yet have perfect proof for part I think we're so well together is. She has an ability to investment detail visualize. What possible and she can cast that vision and in till she is able to find some

put it on a piece of paper draw out. Show me a picture. I mean we, help me an airplane to go and see the when someone else's running their business actually sitting in a room so that I can all. This was the idea you have right. I just have some of that insight and in two thousand nineteen at the very beginning of the year, I now have a years worth of work that sat evidence of the things that were possible, that find. The way I was able to actually plan out are two thousand nineteen. Because of all of these facts now sitting in front of me, the proof of what was possible and I was really the first time I connected to holy cow we have ourselves a business there. I should say that every way I was acting to holy cow. We have we ourselves have that right was translating into business by I was struggling to see how we can help but kind

twelve months earlier. That would make the decisions we were making make sense and Europe and here I was in January, two thousand nineteen between Christmas and new year- is truly. I was sitting reflecting on the the number of people who sat and live events, the speed with which we want to solve the current. Where people who sat and live events, the speed with which we want to solve the conference's into two thousand nineteen that having yet happened. And that was when it fully landed like holy cow, were onto something because the way, the p, are feeling the value and the things that are being created or having an impact in their lives and its becoming this, no all rolling downhill, however and I think so many of us we like forget the law, journey that leads to what people see today. I mean it so easy to do that. I just had a facebook memory

up, and it was like a decade ago I shot my first wedding. Reach came from the wedding industry to it. It's like that feels like a lifetime ago, but at the same time it feels like the blink of an eye, and so I love that perspective. It either way with everything I just have one of these moments. I just have one of those moments Rachel had this crazy its unity to speak stage with over this last week, yeah unreal she's doing this tour. She called as someone from a team in call and asked if she was behind the stage was a thing she talked about wanting to do literally. Forever and as much as like Man I was all about honouring this awesome accomplishing about goal that sheep cast a vision for years and years earlier. I was more based on the work that it took to good enough to be in a position to be invited, because people see a lot of times right I'll see, you ll see the work that you are doing and they say, oh, my god, you have figured out, you see. Bribing

You didn't see Rachel standing with no cards handshaking and mobs group. When she was not a good speaker. And then having to follow that up with the big all, but she got at the assisted living facility and then follow that up with the Tuesday night Church group, because those things she kept by yourself, and while she was not good at speaking, are the thing that for this opportunity to get the invite for the stage you just now here alive staff that publicity around what would happen twelve fifteen years ago is just not in anyone's memory yeah. Why love our you tie it back and help us to remember, and I think that some that I respect so much about you. Knowing you on a personal level is the way that you champion Rachel and one question that I want to ask you, because I think that this happens for a lot of people. Listening to the show is a lot of times

We tell people about our lifestyle. If we like casually mention my k, we're going no for a month, people will look at drew and they'll say what do you do and then he asked to somehow fumble over his words to talk about what I built in the business I've created that allows us to have these amazing life experiences, and I know how you can talk about Rachel when she's in the room? And sometimes I wish that she could hear those things that you say, and so when people ask you tell me, Rachel. What are you saying? Oh my goodness, Well, I mean I talk about proud. I am of her because of, though, like eggs and all this she was in my life for helping. We believe in what I'm also capable of relay the workers She does for community in the work that she does on stages or through coaching or what any of the work that she that's that

work has had as much of facts and impacts on my life and the life of my kids. So I'm an ice from this very legitimate place of an appreciation for her willingness to utilise the gas that she has been afforded to matter bring lighter the world about praying possibility of wipe your life. Can't be if you believe that you are worthy of who they are fully living into it I mean I was in a stock place I was an eel stock place on that Britain thirty and forty and she was the light that I was able to follow out of a dark place, that I dug a hole for myself, and so I'm appreciative forever. When a beneficiary of some of the mindset that she has some of the motivation that she has, because I don't have it right like if I have to I do a comparison, Trask in distress They re rightly, I have been set

The goal of almost everything, she's, believed in the world of personal development, from the word go, I am dead. Leaving been someone that, when I as being more fixed mine, said to her growth mindset and I still to this day and never will be. I dont have the motivation in my belly like she dies. I she went on the morning and it's a heat source. I really am she's levitating, she's, radiating, Angie were she's, got it happening out right and so part of life. I know this is a question of how would you describe it? Part of it is late. I just I feel fortunate for her our willingness to life fully live into who she was planned. This plan to be because in really amazing ways. It's how you think differently about who I am on this plan to be untrue. I can in beating bag, lies, I may believe or limiting, believes I subscribe to actually Women who I am too

been and by the way, majority right layer, bizarre choice. I made this hard choice, difficult choice, to leave something that few people might leave two and a half years ago, I've made the choice but then still fumbled my way through really becoming Honourable, and who I know myself to be the day struggled through. Really I mean working with your partner gal. Any work easier, I mean working with your heart got any work of your partner. It has been the first two years of our marriage and it has been the artist to you. Years, of our marriage like we're just finally after two years and figuring out how to do well, but come without having a ton of bombs along the way near. Let's talk about that that transition of working separately to working together because I truthful I fear that I think I think it's a really scary to me till I gluten the person. I love the most into the things. I love the most and walk me through

who just some of like that push back in that hardness, and also how you maintain like a relationship outside of work, because to me I feel once you jump into the pond, like you guys, are both just treading water there together, like? How do you get out of that? Unlike sea life outside of work yeah? Well, too, the question I mean we really had to be clear Collyer about. Why are superpowers each individually are and how they can be utilised for good, and it again a superpower. There is a negative side of them and how we could minimize any of the negative that comes in our greatness and so for me the thing that I am best at the how the operation, the integrating role that I play here. It does come with its. You know downside. That is that and she would be describing the White hey. I've got an idea, but like most dangerous one that someone worry and every day and before

the beginning right at the beginning of our working together, I would barely allow her the opportunities even breathe, that vision that idea into existence without shut being on how we get it downright usually how hard it would be for us to get it done, I mean I tell them, I remember as a funny story. I think it's a good when, like I came out of it, areas in our relationship that have me thinking that part of my responsibility was to manage her expectations, young, I wanted to try and keep her from getting if I hadn't resolve with any of her big ideas. Because of what I thought as my love showing up well for her relations, and there was this time where she can to me with this idea back when she still working primarily inside out like those things there was a sheet media time of life where there is a blog in its she sleeps the figure out how to make them

the opportunities that are showing up coming out of the event planning space running this block and she says to me one morning, the shit, going to be the host of a cable, tell him, a programme that is nationalists, indicated and I looked at her like oh well, I'm going to grow a horn on my head, like I'm Eu Foreign, like what you taking up an my immediate reaction. Because again, I think this is the way that my love is meant best ashore and our relationship was too dimensional eyes for her. The probability of that dream of hers. Coming together, so She didn't put herself in a place of getting hurt and so I told her, I bet there's a three percent chance that that will happen. And she He made a luck. She absorbing the comment and said nothing and four months later, four months later she the master class impassive aggression and calmness. With a view to table with a box and has been raft and unlike

oh well, what we have here as she said. Oh you got me a gift. Well, what did I yet you, MRS Mann, has today I don't even remember, buying this. Yet what raids? How did I get you? She opens this box and there's a necklace bracelet inside, The bracelet small charm, with the now were three and eight per signs stamped on it. She had it bracelet me, my guy. She tells me that failing that I'd afforded her a three percent chance of accomplishing has come true. She has book and become the hostess of a nationally, syndicated, cable television programme oh well. I, like my chrome, served medium range. Rascally total strike is a thing. There were two very, very important things that I now have the clarity to appreciate and I try now to apply into our working together. While I was

truly. I do believe my interests were to try and keep her from being surprised by the possibility of not achieving a goal, and so trying to keep her from having to experience, disappoint and so in giving her that three percent chance, when I was really saying was, I believe that you not accomplish this. In fact, I believe strongly that you went on to gamble shit, I'm giving you a ninety seven percent chance of not succeeding in the pursuit of your dream I didn't see, but what I also said inadvertently was that don't believe that yours strong enough to handle, disappointment. If this doesn't come to pass, How did you know my wife? My wife is strong enough to handle anything any day of the week twice on Sunday, so I have to they connected to the attic, nature of my old self thinking that keeping her from

getting excited about things was in any way in her best interest. And now have to take the learning zone of that story from twelve twelve thirteen years ago in our life and remind myself now because now away together. The capacity were my job is to operation lies the ideas. My job is not to tell her why she can't it's not to tell her why it's a bad idea that you're right, we still like other some bad ideas, sure, but my job two in partnership find solutions to the dreams that she is able to have that. Frankly, I'm not and when were able to do it in a way that affords me the chance process her dream and affords heard this these two, let that dream actually fully breathed into existence with out qualifiers. Out the reasons why it will be challenging, but it then, with a set of solutions. That's when we work

unbelievably well together, We have a system. I know you can't see them, but I'm doing air quotes re now that telling yourself is working by what would it look like if you could have everything in one place, I'm talking invoices contracts, messages, questionnaires, timelines and more no more posts if his runs, get contracts out last minute, no more, bank lines to deposit your client checks, nope, all of that is inside of honey book, plus way more way way more honey is a simpler way to run your business. It's how I send invoices collects payments, create community craft, workflows, export financials and manage projects from end to end. Here me when I say my system, pre honey book was archaic and, frankly, scary, then dug in Nigeria waken up thinking. I lost a contract or forgot key date in a project timeline. If that sounds you honey book, one you sleep like asleep, trained baby start, your free trial plus get fifty four

and off your annual subscription at your dotcom, slash honey book that genetic adjure dot TK slash honey, but for fifty percent off your annual subscription this past launch my team- and I were content creation machines, blogs, pod gas, graphics, emails like we turned tons of stuff in house, but there is one thing we couldn't do ourselves actually key to the success of our launch. We user freelance on five or to create eye catching animated videos that served as Facebook in Instagram adds five or connects businesses with freelancers, who offer hundreds of digital services, including graphic design, happy writing web performing film editing and more so you don't need in how skills to complete a key project. Final you're! Looking! instantly just search by service deadline, price reviews and more you'll know exists what you're paying for a friend known

oh needed with twenty four seven customer service in quality talent that you can count on. Take five and check out fibre dot com you'll receive ten percent of your first order. If you use Michael gold digger. It's so easy, don't we to any more time and get the service you deserve. By going to F, I d e r r dot com coda gold, digger diver. It starts here what You just said: have you guys read the book traction yeah, yeah. So no mind tangle Jimmy Traction, Romania, if anyone's listening- and I haven't read it yet, we talk about my episode way back with dean by IRAN. Me, like the separate rules, a visionary and integrate or, like I honestly, reed the definition a visionary, often because a lot of times it's easy for us to try to manage both roles and and truthfully, those two positions are meant to butt head, sometimes to challenge each other, to really see how is

vision going to actually come to life whose necessary to make this happen in. So it's amazed to me that in your marriage, you guys are able to balance these two roles, and always not perfectly but to be able to play off of each other's strings, because I feel, like you, like you just said when you guys and like stand in that truth and standing your superpower? That's when their real magic happens, but that doesn't happen without a lot of learning moments in between here and by the way. Another great book along that same line is about our rocket fuel. Yes, yeah right in the atmosphere, read that that's also had some similar, similar idea really getting into the specific the specifics of one in a greater. Do and unlocked for a business, and it's been a gift for us to spend time in it. You asked the queen I didn't answer it. You know how do we create the boundaries are the ones you disengage in the business after a certain amount of time and that's complicated, rightlier, The complication is,

Yes, what like you know, there are certain things that we no longer I love and again, so I guess what like Arthur certain things that we no longer I love contract work. Now you know we're implementing some new human resources. Software for the team. Do I love now, but on the whole really do level. We do inside the idea that we would per hard limit on ok actors six p were no longer going to talk about this component. Your thing from work is cougar languages. We can do something about it and lemon on it would be pretty. Lebanon cannot like who we are at our court, but we are were maniacal about our routines, their habits that we have for both our morning, but also some of the things that we have, that reinforce Our relationship values like standing in my area. Thursday night does not matter what It is an bravely in several years well. We ve had plenty

times when we love each other more than we like each other, we were still one on that day. In its inside of the day our commitments of intimacy. I want you to watch into tax on work. Show this topic, but guess what a priority in our relationship, and so we prioritize it as they allow doesn't use what happens after a certain time of night in the bedroom intimacy is the way that we approach act. Pursuit of each other every single day? No matter what now you know There are times, though we together in the same building that we decide that you know far dry, but we're gonna drive the ten minutes from our house to office in separate cars like there, there are some things that we need to be here, to come together and not feel overwhelmed by the amount of time that were spending together that pardons in spending I'm alone in like us, each pushing each other for committing to of care

inside of the kind constructive cell care, including alone time, where we're allow the space to think and feel, and if it's not appear running or massage would everley it might be sitting on Iraq, doing nothing but sometimes ask we together and enjoying each other is as much about making sure that we have space away from each other so that we can appreciate it. When we do. I love it. Prioritize like your individualism, two in one of my favorite things about you, Mr Davis, is your ability to like just say what you think is bs sometimes, and when you speak, I really listen and leaning, because I feel like there's a lot of things that you say or I'm like everyone's thinking it David to sew on saying it, and so on

I don't know what are some of the mindset shifts that Rachel subscribe to where you were like absolutely not. This is bs, because I think that there are a lot of messages out there that can make us just kind of question. Like is true for me, it's true for that person, that's great, but what is actually true for me. So what are some of those messages where you like now now now knocking at well Is that the beginnings of my journey in the personal development were me pushing through the barriers of the belief that person development, urban growth generally with something that either was reserved only for some people like something out of wired for growth in other people's. Aren't. That's not that's, not real, but truly, I was I was pushing up against some taboo, but I had around the idea that people who raised their hand- for meeting help or the p, well, who were reaching for personal development, were broken

Then there was something in there being in their make up that made them not already good not already enough for meeting held in the first place and my distance to taking. Tools that could have helped get me out of my way earlier were ridiculous Some of the ego related some of it against the lens of masculinity and whoever me tell me what it was to be a man or not, some of it, just a faced mindset right here in my wife when she decided to go on a journey fur She wanted to address like she was really starting with anxiety for a while. Then she was realizing that she was coping with alcohol in ways that weren't healthy and she like every time she ran into something that wasn't. Working as well as she'd, how foreign alive she decided to go on a journey to see how she could affect. That's in a positive way and when did any word. I finally me

injurious, because impersonal incredulous likeness, stop it yet Louie Snake oil. Forget it and then I'm sitting there stock, you add even stock suggest that I wasn't descending. I was truly just becoming a lesser version of who had hoped to be. As a dad as a husband, as a person is sleep at night, not totally in love with how I was showing up and how little I felt like I was using the potential that have been afforded me and I started asking some better questions. My journey started on the couch. If there is to be honest, I guess I, and when I started unlocking some of those answers struggling with the idea that growing like This was possible for me or why I did. I associate somebody negative taboos to the idea of meeting help and I started unlocking some of those answers at there, a man at work but it also gave permission to sit in the audience of personal development conference and then listen to applaud, cast and then read a bargain. Then you know that

Tools work my answer and slowly melted away. Some of the scepticism that I fell and and thank goodness for that yeah yeah. While in what I love about your book that just came out get out of your own way. You talk about all of these lies and what I think is beautiful is that you have these actual stories that happen in your life. That shit How you re framed your mindset, how you reshaped this lie to become truth and the thing and a gift. You and both you and me have is the abyss- to tell a story? Is that allow the reader to imagine themselves living in them or to apply that principle to a story that they ve lived? in their life? What was it like writing a book, especially when you live and sleep and breathe next to a near times by seller? What was that process like for you, because writing a book to me sounds like the most daunting

saw crushing beautiful experience upper it was way harder than I thought? Maybe Jana, like I mean like I cannot under stress, overs dress. I can't say enough that it was hard, so he was here it's crazy, just like to repeat element of a picture of the like arc here when I was first handed the printed out. Another have no nine nine by eleven have by eleven. When I was first handed, what movies unfriendly Pedro rang out by now on top, it has not yet been submitted to the publisher, but it's done I read it and had an I'm just a meltdown. I mean I had a headache attack because I the first time like this isn't like our process is not one of sharing our work as we're going. The process was here's the finished product. What do you think

now what I thought was and what I told her was. You cannot published this book yeah I Why, in my bones, were certain any if you get a partner? Who has that, like the voice of certainty that they go to, and they really wanna make sure you know that they know I is my certainty. Voice did seller. You had not wish this path, I've been again like coming from them. You go and that the work that I have like we ve done so well of managed during the antics of face get Instagram purpose trading, how good everything trust me it's good for her any is vulnerable and honest about these stories was like getting do all of the good that had been done in building would have been no, but also the vanity for me of, or the ego for me as a chapter chapter five, where I'm not painted in a grey light up Certainly sir, I was not being a great human, then or a chapter

a struggling and badly those things that Most of the time people are not interested in having it out the world and I definitely was analysed the people who thought they shouldn't be out and then the power of honestly sharing these stories in it, fundamentally changed the way that I thought about how one. Universal struggle ends up being everyone. If your listening in your struggling news, yours, you men, who you are all struggling right like there's just universe on us to an end. Story telling about things. That you're going through with honesty is the way people can see themselves in your story. That is great we too have come to that recognition in various. It was too. Militating. We heart it was now scruciatingly hard for me to stay

backed into how valuable me being honest about my struggle might be for the reader of this book. Here I was writing because I felt like I was going through therapy it. Wouldn't you were in a landscape. I was right and so once finding. I'll, tell you that when, when the hardest tapestry right when a thing once I'm proud of stuff is the chapter the lie I drink will make this better. In a dream will make us better. I talk about how my casual relationship with alcohol TIM into. I'm saying that became far less from casual and it's written, very much in real time. As I am writing the book, as I am learning to work with Rachel, as I am struggling with the identity shift from having left Disney for the House company, as I am scaling a business faster than I frankly have those skill set to handle every single day

I didn't managing that anxiety and managing the stresses and the pain of the impostors syndrome and the feelings of humanity I decided to. We don't take. What was it relationship and mute some those feelings in a way that has me drinking more than I ought to It wasn't in so I got the address for the book back. I got the at its back here. I am I finish this book. I am unbelievably proud for having pushed through all of these feelings. I am a good enough to read this book and you know as much as Rachel and I for sure are not in competition with each other. We wouldn't be human if there isn't a part of me that site man she is two of the most prolific box in the last decade. In the last two years and I'm going to try and follow up on that. But will anyone try to compare what I have created to what she created and any others securities. Now, as I did,

at his back, and I open up this manuscript and it's all red and the only thing I can truly sea and that red is all of the insecurity you had about. Your ability to right has been confirmed in these red letters. And my on casual relationship. They all went to a place that, on that day, I had to decide, did I want to actually make it to the release of this point that I want to show for my family. My team, in my wife, did I want to Experience the benefit of the good I knew I was asked by a guy new, intellectually, that I left isn't gonna go pursue discomfort yeah it made perfect sense, and here I address you on the day I got these at its back. Decide did I want. Actually the recipient of the fruit of that growth, because Alcohol is not a local anesthetic right. If you gotta go

we mechanism- and you think that it's only treating the anxiety. I have bad news for you. I was taking the anxiety away. At the same time, I was taking the joy away. I was taken the Euro impostors syndrome away. At the same time, I was taking the opportunity to learn and grow from me not having the ability to do the work I was doing and in that field you're having become part of my strength and the story, a future. And so I you know, I M writing in the book that I haven't had a drink in a year in Part B, I needed to have improved print, something that I can stay connected to committed to, but I can teach mice a drink. In fact, when I make us better by the writing process was hard and now here I am, you know it's been eleven months since I turned the book in I've, never been prouder of a single thing. In my entire life, I should say that I am proud of my humans and proud of my marriage professionally,

something that I have created. I had a great career. This is, while the greater than anything that I've ever done in terms of my pie in part because of how aging heart, it was actually these stories in the honesty of my struggle down on a piece of paper because of my harbours, and I'm positive there. I just know that it's going to be a resource for someone else who is also in a season struggle, I'm so for people to get their hands on the book in what I love to, the way that you guys, but three as it is a matter for your guy or a girl, a man or woman, husband or wife, like you can learn that other side that different perspective and figure out how to apply that within your own life, your marriage with people, you love with the people that your struggling to love- and so I just think it's really beautiful thing, because you can identify with any of those lies and see yourself reflected in your stories in a really cool way that allow

you to see what's possible to an end, as somebody who has also struggled with a fixed mind, saying just somebody that questions everything. I think it's really cool too see the other side of the coin and kind of get inside of your head. So I'm really excited about it knew I appreciate its been really interesting. I at the beginning this journey. I got this statue on my arm. A ship is safe in harbor, but that's it. What ships were built for and I've got. It's as a reminder of this intentional choice that I made to leave the harbor of security of safety, of status, of title of being weighed at a time of that whereby the opinions of other people up for the army, China needs to me the recipients of web. A ship is actually for the waves. The shabby right he waters those see that says on the other side of the Jedi and I got

tat. You like, in part as a commitment to my wife, and I in fact would fully said to me being that both on that water is a sign to my kids, that I want them to always be the people pursue the discomfort. Those waves, but mostly I d, get it for myself cause I have to, and you will you also, if your listening and you like Manual, make a choice and you yeah, I'm gonna go chase. This thing I can myself, my deciding to Lee was the hard part and by deciding believe was a hard part. It was them getting of the hard part The last two years have, if nothing else been, defined by what I call a season of being unmoored and it first my body was rejecting to be someone who could maintain balance the champion that tattoo now in the mirror- and I remind me

now grown into and become comfortable with my identity and the captain the ship. When I look at that, to now in the mirror- and I remind myself in unlike in a way that would have me if I was when Rachel Hollis conferences. I beat me wonder woman posts. When I look at less than light. I look at that how'd. You know my damn right. I was for this in less I'll bring on these waves, yet all by its like anything. It just takes a season of getting your sea legs in the unsteady aid unmoored nature of. Using after a big leap. But it's so worthy em, one of the things that you said in Puerto Rico, that really stuck with me in and one closing thought that I want for you to leave us with. Is that you said you said most people are afraid of failing its they're afraid of people watching them fail. What has it been?

for you to transition from this position of power and title and status to join but into something that you might not be good at to jump into so many categories with jewel and on your own and in your own right. What has it been? knowing that you could be setting yourself up to have people watch. You oil, and what is it felt like for you as a man were verse, evolve, really disconnected from everything I've ever known. I mean like a mile job. I was the person who talked to the press on the weekend to position the way the movies whence I mean like. I was good at talents, story, I think, we're good at telling stories in our own head and I've been good, managing the objects and marriage. During that you know, things were great and I will not say this. I just me the advance on this really beautiful moments, of being by myself for three days and in

three days of me just sitting literally on Iraq in Tucson Arizona sperience this opportunity to really look back at the times where pain was at its most it present in my life every single time that I have any experience with pain in the last two years. There was a single thing that was presence in experience, and that was dissidents, and by that I mean every time that I'd suggested, I wanted to be a certain person. In a certain way live, my life according to a certain set of values, but new myself to not actually be doing that the distance between, do I wasn't you I suggested I want to be was dissidents in ruins, and that space would show For me, a shame that says he was shot for me. Is pain,

in some way of feeling like man, I'm under utilizing my potential or as I'm putting my head down to sleep at night it on your pride for how much effort I've put it. Whatever might be and when it comes to failure or like being embarrassed about what people might say. If you were to fail publicly light trying to manage you're the way that you are doing things, but not failing it's like the guarantor of keeping that dissidents in your life, my home jesting that I'd like to scale this company and I'd like to grow. Isn't the visual and I'd like to be someone who can write books and create the growth in sight of our business, and there is A single waited that's possible, and that is too fail and learn from those values and so you're, someone who struggle with failure or failure, because it

people might think of you failing, but you are opting because of that fear to not grow, and I can t He was of every ounce of certainty in my body that I had in what I laughed at the water the company, because somebody clearly I certainty and security, because it how strong the teams were, because our strong leadership was the intellectual poverty was so good. I didn't If the work is hard, I wasn't growing and I was wildly under fulfilled and if anyone an for growth, you will be. Failure as being for and there's only one way: you can grow and asked reorient refrain. The way that you see failure as being for you, you cannot grow without failure, is an impossibility only way that you browse is through Duvalier, and so you know If I say I wanna be these things are where the company in this way or short this? What well for these

people. That mean something in my life. I have been wondering So what are you sure about can hopefully get most of them right, but in the times I doubt learn from our mistakes apply those legs to who I am So what are you sure about that? thank you so much for everything for sharing for coming on firm keeping it real. I am so grateful. Where can everybody connected? You grab your book, from you all the things. What have you done? I really appreciate you having me on its size. Such a pleasure, not just to be able to come under who will show like this by me when I talk to a friend, I appreciate it on Social is where most of our things live. I'm it Mr Dave Hollis Sir Day Palace on Facebook, Hollis Somebody has a website, Hollis, CO, dot com where you can find information are alive advance. This darn book, are coachee or dark product. Are all this stuff

it lives there, but As you say, the spot just came out this last Tuesday. I am so on fire forward. My why you so badly to em. I want you to grab it. I'd like barely, would just like shit for something that I've made, but guess why I am so dang proudly spoke of you. Gotta get out of your own way. The book tat, calm, there's some cool bone says that we made available for people that have bought this book, including a free herself. I have a blog if you don't want the monks and about back heaps, of course, but I'm sorry this book was written with you in mind. Thank you Dave. I hope you enjoy the conversation and just as much as I did David. I recently spend some time in Porto ego together at a mastermind, and I told them Dave you can come on my show, but only if you are entirely honest answer all of the questions and he did just that, I'm so. Excited about his new work and get out of your own way. It just came out, so you haven't gotten a copy, go out and grab that an.

Read about the lies that Dave has believed and overcome and the mind such have said, has gotten him to where he is today. I sincerely love this conversation. I hope that you did to. Let me know, who you want to hear from next, have over to gold digger abide guest on Instagram tagged to people that you want me too interview and ask all the questions, sue Ann lie. Always keep on. Digging your biggest squalls? Thank you so much for hitting play on another episode of the gold digger podcast. I'm over here giving you virtual high five, because you just finished another episode of the gold digger part guest tobacco thy way too fast for anyone else. If you want more head over to gold, digger, pod, guess, Dotcom for show notes and all the discount codes from today's sponsors and, if you're looking for a new. Grew up. Movers and shakers like you'd, have bounce ideas and ask questions: deserted, join my exclusive community for gold diggers on Facebook. The links with