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20 Tools to Tame Anxiety | Emiliya Zhivotovskaya

2020-03-24 | 🔗

Anxiety is at an all-time high right now, and there are valid reasons for concern. At the same time, most of us have more control over how we experience this moment, psychologically and emotionally, than we realize. There are many practical, accessible ways to reduce anxiety and move away from panic.

This is why we asked longtime collaborator and wellbeing advisor, Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, to help us better understand anxiety, and walk us through 20 highly-specific tools and techniques to reduce anxiety and bring yourself back to a place of relative ease and calm, no matter how groundless or anxiety-provoking the world around you may feel in this moment.

Emiliya is the CEO and founder of The Flourishing Center, a New York City-based, B-Corp dedicated to increasing the flourishing of individuals, organizations, and communities. She is the creator of the Certification in Applied Positive Psychology, the Bounce Back Better® training on resilience, Positive Psychology Coaching Certification, the Flourishing Skills Group, and is the co-founder of the Positive Educator Certification™ Program. Emiliya holds a Master’s Degree from the University of Pennsylvania in Positive Psychology and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Mind-Body Medicine and is also an adjunct faculty member.  

As always, these tools and techniques can be incredibly useful, but we are not in a position to make specific medical or mental health recommendations for any one individual, we strongly suggest consulting a qualified mental health professional to better understand the most appropriate actions to take for your unique needs. 

Last quick note. Our whole team wants you to know that we so appreciate you, we will continue producing this show to the best of our abilities (though we are moving to a remote recording format in order to honor the need for safety), we love you and look forward to continuing to be of service as we all move through this challenging time together. 

Here is a link to the references we mentioned in this episode.

You can find Emiliya Zhivotovskaya at: Website | Instagram


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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey. Everybody shouted. So we are can win the embrace of extreme unease right now levels. fear and uncertainty that, for many, are leading to the experience of fear, anxiety, panic, and while we may feel like we don't have control over the circumstances and there may well a valid reasons to feel that way for concern that we do not want to be little or dismiss The reality is also for most of us. We do a lot more control, over how we experience this moment psychology. Lee and emotionally than most of us realize This is why I asked my dear friend longtime collaborator and good bye, prodded adviser Amelia, avatar skier, we just
I'll easy for short, because for obvious reasons I asked to help us understand the anxiety and fear that so many are experiencing these days and sometimes level panic and help really a whip You and me, and all of us with a number of highly specific tools and techniques, to bring yourself back to a place of relative ease and com. No matter how groundless the world around you may feel at this moment in time As always, these tools and techniques can be incredibly useful, We are not in a position to make specific medical or mental health recommendations for any one. Individual. always strongly recommend consulting a qualified mental health professional to better understand the most appropriate actions for you to take in your hearing, circumstance. Now,
about Amelia, and why I turned to her as our guide today Amelia is the ceo and founder of something in your called the flourishing centre. It is a big corporation or benefit corporation that is dead, hitherto increasing flourishing of individuals, organizations and communities worldwide. She is the creator of the acclaimed certification in applied positive psychology, which has offered in cities across the EU canada, online, worldwide, she's, train, over a thousand practitioners to date, she is also the creator of bounced back better, which is a really bad we'll training on resilience created puzzle psychology, coaching certification, be flourishing skills group and, as the co founder of the positive, educator certification programme, where they bring all of these tools and techniques and ideas into the role of education in schools. Amelia also holds a mask,
degree found the universe, pennsylvania and positive psychology is currently pursuing our phd in my body medicine and is an adjunct faculty member holds a master certified coach credential with I see it, as was over a dozen professional credentials. That is a long way of saying she really knows what he is talking about. An she's somebody who I have known for a very long time now and have come to trust with all sorts of moments that are really hard to figure out how to navigate through, not just because deeply wise, deeply studied, but also incredibly pragmatic she lives in the world where it's not about talking it is about skills tools and techniques that help us better in the world that are proven vetted and useful. Last quick note before region, then you will no doubt noticed the clock t of the audio this conversation is a bit different
our usual studio production values like so many others we, have moved to remote region for this window in time in order to he producing high quality conversations that will hopefully, serve as a source of wisdom and community inspiration and peace, while letting us and our guests continue to feel safe along the way. So as you hear us, begin to mix these newer conversations to our line up that we have already recorded over the next few months. you will no doubt notice. The difference in production values are high. Team wants you to know that we saw appreciate. You will continue producing this show to the best of our abilities we love you and look forward to continuing to be of service as we are through this challenging season together. I am so excited in it, fire to be able to bring this and oliver conversations to you, emilius, going to walk us through twenty
specific tools and techniques along that. She has been kind enough to create a very detailed information sheet with links and resources to go along with this, or that of any of these tools that job out a to where you're thinking that sounds like it would really help. I want to know more and I wonder how to start doing this right away will be a resource where you can immediately learned war and start to do the work. So you find a link to that right now, in the show notes, free resource, it's just something. That's going to really help you integrate, We think that we are talking about today and go deeper into any of the tools and techniques that sound like they really resin itself, be sure, to check the link in the show, notes and download you a copy of that. Ok, let's on jonathan fields, and this is good life project
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It is a I even work where it is. Creativity come from: what's the secret to living longer, ted radio, our explores the biggest questions with some of the world's greatest thinkers, they will surprise challenge and even change you listen to and be ours ted radio, our whatever you get your PA guests. so the ten percent happier podcast has one guiding philosophy, having
is a scale that you can learn. So why not embrace it? It's hosted by dan harris journalist who had a panic attack on national television and then send out on this journey of transformation and he's now on a quest to help. Others also achieve peace and happiness, and every week Dan talked you top scientists, meditation teachers. Even the odd celebrity in wide ranging conversations that explore topic, psych productivity, anxiety and lightness, psychedelic and relationships. The interviews cover everyone from bernay brown to cerebral ass to SAM Harrison more. I love learning from his questions and experiences and incredible guess think of listening to ten percent happier as a work out. For your mind, fine ten percent happier where every listen to pot casts I'm really it had this conversation. I have actually wanted to have this conversation with your failure for a long time force stances, none of us, particularly are happy about like we're having this conversation now, because we are seeing
the conversation around this word anxiety, kind of dominates, much of what people are feeling right now, and there's a lot of misinformation. There's a lot of lack of clarity, rounded, and when I'm really not seeing a lot of his. What can I do about it like? Is there something that I can actually do so I wanted to talk to you because you have always been made two person for getting out of your head and actually getting into skills and tools that make you feel better, kind of where I want to go in this conversation, but I think it might be helpful. Just as an anchor for us to start out really talk about just for a few minutes on this word anxiety, yelling, What it really is an end just honour on a basic level. What people really need to know about it yeah what I believe people need to know about ngo haiti is that it's part of a spectrum of emotions that fall under the umbrella of being afraid, very human, natural thing to feel fear, if you believe that something bad it happened, and
oceans, all of them fallen a spectrum. Some we're talking about fear. We can say something on one end of the spectrum as little as a cam just concerned about what might happen, or I'm feeling a little apprehensive about the situation to the commission, the other end of the spectrum, watches you're, not just feeling anxious. You might have a full blown panic attack and what makes for the difference between where you fall on the spectrum. Is everything from this Verity of this circumstance your facing, but also something that is under our control. We can actually control where that pin is on the spectrum going from I'm feeling a little worried or little fewer fall to I'm fallen debilitated by my fear and sofia human, its natural, and we want to be able to work with it, because, if you think about the increased experience of feeling fear what that usually comes way is a desire to want to run away from the situation and oftentimes
things that were worrying about are not things that are happening immediately in the moment were going into the future? It's all of that. What, if thinking and what will happen and what living under tremendously uncertain times? We don't have the capacity to project accurately into the future and what we experiencing is people just being paralyzed by their fear, and so it's to know that worry fear anxiety is normal, its natural, it's a part of your physiology, typical response of trying to protect yourself. But emotions are meant to be signallers to us. They're meant to make us pay attention to what's going on and our environment. So angers meant to signal to you that someone or something might be causing you harm fear, went to signal something, bad might happen sadness and to signal hey. You, ve lost something, that's important to you and when we don't know how to work with those feelings, we feel emotions just happen to us where, instead,
in actually use emotions and x dial them up or dial them down, depending on what were experiencing depending what's needed in the moment, endured times like this. What we need is for people to be able to access their creativity, their results, fullness and problem solved and when we're high levels of worry and anxiety. We actually want to do the opposite. We are frozen. We want to run away the last thing that we want to have people doing during these uncertain times yeah. I remember the resist they should between anxiety and action, take adding paralysis and yeah when Certainty goes up and the stakes while simultaneously we tend wanted it makes us feel bad. You know feel that this the feeling of anxiety becomes embody that literally changes our chemistry and our physiology nah neurology, and we will reveal physically uneasy just want not just the same.
logical feel into away, but the physical feeling to go away and, and the thing that I think so much we do so often is we pull back No, we we become paralyzer. We we wee backpedal in a way we try. We try withdraw ourselves from where, the stimulus is that's causing it to us, feel that way. But but if we can't we move ourselves which is occurring servants. As for a lot of people, we can't make entirely go way. Then we just drop in The state of feeling like we're paralyze were helpless. There's nothing that we can do and what we also knows. Any anxiety has this invention, relationship to creativity, innovation and problem. Solving so we're sitting here saying we need to figure out how to feel ok and had had to be better for many of us had to keep doing, are working on currently very often at home, now remotely, and we to figure out how to make our brains function properly
anxiety also affects that ineffectually. Often our ability to do that you that to be the bad is the good news is. It is not even if the circumstances not entirely within our control, the way that our body at our brains respond it is- and this is one of the things I think you've been so brilliant at teaching me about over the years. Yeah. I just want to highlight what you said about the role of wanting to run away from the situation. Withdraw is the natural response for fear and, if we think about this as step ones a two step three. I think that step one that people want to begin to explore is recognised what you're feeling and know that its natural, its natural to want to run away or just go to bed and sleep it away, recognising that that's not going to make it go away, but withdraws the natural response, and I like to tee
That worry is like a banana with a banana appeal that the good stuff is the actual banana, but the banana appeal is the worry and I teach people how to actually peel the worry from the problem. Solving there's this tendency where we almost think like we need the worry and when you invite person to stop worrying. They start worrying about the fact that they are not worrying and that's because so often we think that we need to worry in order to be aware or alert that something bad might happen and beyond very very short term. Immediate stressors, like your walking down the street in you, hear, allowed sound and you have to jump away from the curb or something that is so new, immediately so you need to be able to get into more positive emotion, space, the words that we use and positive psychology is that negative emotions, narrow and focus us, whereas PA
if emotions broaden and build us so whether the negative emotion, you're feeling is anger or worry, or guilt or shame what that tends to do. Is it narrows our capacity to focus it narrowed capacity to think about what we can do, whereas pie that of. Emotions tend to get us into a more creative, resourceful, plaice and sole ability to turn on certain emotions in turn off emotions as one of the greatest capacities that we have as human beings. In fact I would say it's are super power that is rare. ever talk to us We can actually choose how we feel animals in the animal kingdom can't help how they feel am walking my dog down the street, and she sees another dog that provokes her. She
is most likely to just start barking be out of a threat response of protection, its she's not going to think to herself, while maybe I shouldn't bark, because my mommy doesn't like when I do that animals and in other animals in the animal kingdom are entirely reactive with their emotions. We is and beings have the luxury of a prefrontal cortex the capacity to think and to reason, and actually choose our emotional response and to be able work with. What kind of emotion do I need to cultivate in this moment? That's going to be most useful for me, How much worry is appropriate in this moment in order to keep me problem solving, or maybe a little hyper vigilant, but when do I
to dial that emotion back down, because now I'm safe and I'm home, and I'm with my loved ones, and now I need to maybe cuddle or use different skills to bring my nervous system into a reset place, because I'm no longer under threat, and so all of that is the type of skill that we want to bring into this moment. In fact, I would say it's the opportunity that this crisis is offering people is to learn how to become even more masters of their mind of their body of their emotions. Right now, very shortly. I want to dive into a set of tools, body tools in mind, tools which I think are super effect. interesting there's. One thing I want to ask you about which is One thing when we start to read to what's going on around us and spin into places of fear and anxiety when we in solitude or in one or two other people. When everybody that you now is that same place. You know behind
were that when this, just as doing it do you know who would pre we, maybe we have the ability to really step out and say well: is this rational or not, or if we don't, those around us will be able to sort of like identify what's going on, but when it becomes group think that changes. Yes, absolutely in fact, we actually have a number for it. Researchers show that approximately five is a crowd if you have in person standing on the corner looking up at something, they actually ran studies to look at how many people would actually pause and look up in the direction that their facing and what they found with one in very rarely did people stop with two people looking up in the same direction, a sometimes people will look up and sap at once. You had a crowd of five people that were looking up at a particular direction or one particular behaviour, then found that the majority of people would at least look in the direction that they were looking if not fallen, stop and look at what they're doing, and so a fight
a crowd, think about what's happening with toilet paper. Madness right now, as many many people are for looking to certain behaviour patterns, and I think that it calls upon us to get even more centred, to ourselves and what we know to be true and not be pulled by the crowd. During those moments are not to give in to things that are more emotionally driven and to be able to soothe our own nervous system so that we can tell the difference between what's mine there's what's actually needed of me in this moment, and what am I just reacting to georgia and I think this autumn it's not easy to make that distinction when you're in a state of near panic, rational thought is not the easiest thing to access. You meant one thing that makes us uniquely human, is our capacity to choose. Our thoughts are feeling our behaviors, it's interesting that you have frame for this that I had never heard before about whether the appropriate,
sponsors to work with tools that involve the body versus the mine yeah time I come from a psychology background and traditional psychology uses a lot of talking cognitive, behavioral approaches. Look at the facts. our emotions are linked to our thoughts, and so the traditional cognitive, Gabriel therapy calls it the abc model that in activating event, which is the a cause be a belief or thought to go through our man. And which leads to a sea and how we feel- and so the motto was: if you want to change how you feel very often change how your thinking. So, if I can I myself worrying about the situation. I went to catch my worrying thoughts and then direct, my worrying thoughts to more useful thoughts and can work and can work well, but it can work in a slow manner? And at this time that I was studying positive psychology, I was also studying yoga with you at sunday yoga studying to be a yoga teacher, and
so getting into the field of mind body medicine, where I was learning these body tools, and I very quickly recognise that, while a cognitive approve, two com. A person down, can It often did not work when a person was in severe threat mode. Its persons having a panic attack in your trying to convince them calm down, everything's gonna be ok. Well, you ve ever been highly worried. It's very rare that so ones words that everything is going to be. Ok is actually going to make. You feel better what we A deal do instead, I believe, is more effective, as during those high stress states is to use the body. It's the same. We do with children and babies when their crying. This ties in two how're bodies are physically wired, so we have an emotional brain and a rational thinking, brain or emotional brain is our core brain. It is the part of our brain that houses are limits storm and our migdol r and d
Rational part of our brain are human neo cortex is the lodge, reasoning, brain and when and somewhere in a state of stress is that our emotional brain kicks into gear are pre verbal brain kicks into gear, and the region you don't hold a crying infant in your hands out in front of you and just talk to the infant and explain to them that it's just a wide diaper and they're gonna fat in just a few minutes and everything is fine and instead you break. The baby onto your chest and you rock them and you sue them with your body intuitively We know that an infant has an under developed neo cortex that you're not gonna, rationalize and reason baby. You actually have to use the body to create the calm response. So advised to people the importance of being able to take your emotional temperature, so the first step has begun aware, I'm feeling something I'm triggered. I'm upset I'm worried whatever it is, experiencing, and then you
name it. What am I experiencing and how strong is it on a scale of zero to ten? Were ten? Is a fawn panic? in one is I'm common relaxed. Where am I experiencing this, if the emotion is at a four or five it's very likely that you can set, you can write out your worries. In rationalize and reason with yourself, but if you're getting into the six seven's or eights, where your body is physically charged with so much stress it's hard to inhale you're. A kind of grasping for breath were your mind is racing your most No brain has kicked into a physiological response that it's hard to talk yourself out of or reason with, or if you around somebody else and somebody around you is panicking and their emotions are strong. You trying reason with them, while their emotional brain is kicked into gear is not going to work. not yet
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We can't just gonna wanna make really crystal clear through this important through told is, if you're feeling the emotion is below a sex. Then we focus on walking through the mental sir, that interventions if it's a six or above them require something more immediate and we want of probably focus more on the body. Oriented tools get exactly ok So let's talk about these two different tools, because so we have these two categories. We have body tools to help us through a placement, eddie and mental tools where she have you have been kind enough to give me an inventory of ten of each of these, which is kind of mind boggling, so we'd love to do Go through the ten body tools, us Also the ten mental tools with you
religious deserve introduce people to each one of these things, and I know you have also been kind enough to allow me to share a resource with everyone where they can learn a bit more about each one of these so to our Nurse please be sure to check this. And ass. We will include a link to a free resource where you can just you cannot help and a lot more about all these things, but a meal. Let's walk through these etiquette, because a lot of people are probably feeling right now there in a state of six or above in terms of the level of fear or anxiety that may be feeling and looking for something more sort of immediate flash intervention. It's gonna walk through these on them one is exercise. so why
exercise work on an anxiety level. The reason that exercises so helpful is that we ve been evolution, airily wired to experience, stress and release a cascade of chemicals throughout our body. Cortisol adrenaline nor adrenaline are just some of the few that we hear the most about, and the thing about stress is that so often when people are experiencing stress, they dont know how to complete the stress cycle so the normal cycle would be that you either see a stress. Stimuli or in our case, because when we imagine something stressful happening in our brain, we know that the saint very similar areas of the brain light up as if you're actually physically seeing something. So, even if your imagining a stressful stimuli body will release these chemicals and in the wilds we would use those chemicals up by writing running away or by fighting back yet in
what often happens to us is that we end up sitting with these chemicals and in our body and were saturated with them. So one of them ways to decrease. Our stress response is to actually sweat it out and to force the body into needing oxygen. To come to carry these chemicals out of our body, one of the best, the most powerful ways that we detox our body is actually through our breathing by our carbon dioxide, carbon is a waste part nor body, and so were actually look move that waste out of our body and when exercise were causing a need for our body to pull these things up and out of ourselves, and so using up those chemicals and completing the stress cycle is a simple thing, though, that we can do and retiring yourself out. Tiring a worry mind is all right,
due to the use of the body and using exercise yeah. I think I love that because I think a lot of us don't really realize that a lot of the the discomfort that we feel with anxiety is actually chemical. A home is that does it there's a mental trigger or circumstance that changes, state that that floods or body with all these chemicals, that there are different circumstances would prepare us to act in a certain way, but their meant to be dead, he did when they dont state with it. They don't get dissipated. We feel physically terrible, but a part of that equation is chemical and I love this idea exercise can help effectively kind of like use up the chemistry. That's me not feel bad and get us back into us like a reset. More centred, more neutral state and Probably all of us know this intuitively because it probably a lot of people feel here. Said, or their sad or their stressed. You now and then four run or whatever I know is it. You got that you feel
better, but I think this kind of a fascinating explanation Also, the idea that it works for anxiety, I think, is really is good to know too so that's exercise and behind, do something to add about exercises. We've all have experienced the kind of release that you get when you get a good cry, n and part of the. reason that crying feel so good at times. A nice cathartic cry is that we actually released quarters elinor tears that the that's why they're salty, and so as were sweating. These things out of our body were actually physically its equal raw lake pulling out a towel of getting these chemicals out of our body yeah. I love that before we move on from exercise, I know that for a lot of listeners right now, when things are gonna think is well. She that's great when I could go outside and go for a run or when I can go to the gym and do something. But a lot of people are feeling sorta like constrained or confined. Do you recommend
Patients around that absolutely. We know that one of the most effective forms of exercise is high intensity interval, training and those are the time of exercise, movements that spike your heart rate and get you breathing heavily, and you I don't need to have a wide track in order. Be able to do that. There's a video going viral on facebook right now of of a guy doing triathlon moves in his in italy men on escape board. He swimming from one end of his house to the other and then he's on a little tricycle and then he's running in place, and so all that would be makes for very fun. Viral video. You dont, need to think about those long distance types of exercises being able to do things like running running and place doing, jumping jack doing things like mountain climbers, we if so many resources available to us online and on youtube, where you can find videos of high intensity interval, training
exercises that can be done in as little as seven minutes. You can get your heart rate up. You can actually get yourself sweating, and these exercises that dont require waits. You can use your body weight and introduce gravity as your resistance in to be able to achieve a similar type of work out there. I love it I think there are so many resources now that we can turn to to be able to I thus to move our bodies endorse. It may not be the way you love to do it, but we do have access to a lot of great resources. There on your list of body tools is you yourself soothing through touch one. Tell me about that and to end time where people are freaked out about touching anybody. How does this work so touch is the most primitive way that we can create a sense of calm in the body. Safe, appropriate touch. Going back to the image I gave you before of picking up a infant, that's crying and we swim.
Well, bb is when they are upset week, put them into a cocoon. We, we squeeze their body and doing this, uses our larger sense Oregon, which is our skin. To tell the body I am safe. Everything is ok, so if you can, in today's day and age, get things like massage or use touch that comes from appropriate touch. That say within. family, that this is a great time for people to be cut lang to be physical, close to one another, some of the famous Psychology studies on monkeys when a monkey was given a cloth, monkey beckett, give it soothing heading and traverses, a monkey mom that was actually giving it food the monkey we choose the cloth monkey, because this was the source of of soothing for body and soul,
We think that we can do to begin to get that touch and is going to be important, massage offered a rubber partners feet wash your hands. Don't put them in your eyes, are in your nose during your mouth, but if you are quarantined trying to find those tunisia with your family to say this is a really great time for us to cuddle if possible, make love is that we know are physiological needs that we have as humans, and if you are by yourself, you can use sir soothing as well, which gets me to our third tool, which is a new psycho sensory therapy that started a few years ago. Before we go there, so If you're in a scenario where, even if you're with other people, it makes and from a safety standpoint its it would not be appropriate to have other people touching you. Even if you are in this in a similar occasion with them or you're, just freak out or you just concerned?
and are there ways to experience the sense of what the benefits of touch without it coming from other people? yes self massaging self soothing touch, which I will talk about an hour. Our next skill which is having to do with but haven ang. So you can definitely do use imagination. You kid massage your your own shoulders and imagine that it's somebody else, but the great thing about the use of the body is obviously it's always always better. When someone else touches you and the reason for that actually has to do with novelty and element of surprise is a reason you can't tickle yourself. You can't ticklish Of course you know your own motive, and so we were when someone you can run fingers through your own scalp and give yourself a scout massage in that feels really yummy and delicious. Oh, better when somebody else does it for you if they know how to scratch the spots appropriately in. That's because there's this element
surprise, however, self touch is Another way that we can soothe the body right now, many people who struggle with getting into deeper stages asleep, are starting to turn to waited blankets who, as when they sleep at night, because it's that compression into the body that creates that safety. HANS, And you say I wonder also about things like massage. you know whether it's a massage chair, massage device- or you know like the like. We have like this arm type of thing where you can really do your own back and change their heads on it and things like that. You're part of it. I think is a surprise, but I guess part of his so really relate to the stimulation, which, probably also would guess, changes mystery as well. absolutely as you're breaking up that connective tissue, and not that, made having your body or places of tension, just in general, breaking up the connective tissue in your muscles will be calming. If there is
body mind and mind body connection here that if I told you to lift your shoulders up towards your ears and cleansing, your jaw as tight as you can your brain chemicals. Going to release a stress response, because they're saying hey we're getting tents, it must mean we're getting transfer reason. There must be a stressful situ should likewise getting deeply relax like taking a bath or being in a century deprivation tank tells body hey were right, the common, really heavy and really relax you're. Something good must be happening that I feel safe to be able to relax so when you're, actually udall using any element of touch whether were just using with sense organs for just relaxation and self soothing of the body, because we are physically being touched or because your breath, king up some of the tension, places that you might have tension in your body in your bag.
or your head, sir, your knacker, your jaw that will help to create a relaxation response throughout the body caught it. Ok, that kind of leads into the third one here, which something that is called haven they, which I know I have heard you talk about an rave about over a couple of years. Now what is how can I help happening as a psycho sensory therapy that was created a couple of years ago by two doctors here in new york, and it came out of a curiosity that they had around things like e, F, tee and andy are, which will talk about in the little bit as well as strategies there creating a sense of calm in the body and helping people move through traumatic experiences and memory is that they are having and they took with. The science was showing about those modalities and on the use of touch and so haven When you go to see happening practitioner there, looking at people who have a mig dillon, disorders, meaning experiences
that have to do with the medulla being triggered, whether it be phobia or anxiety or panic attack, or just a traumatic experience or strong, negative emotion and haven. Action or would work with you to use different tools to combine fist? we'll touch to unprepared that that emotional response with memory that you're having. However, in times. We can do a great deal with the use of self haven eying, because sir, if the evening is when you take the three different touch modalities, that these researchers have identified and you it on yourself, and it is a form of self soothing or petting of oneself, that concrete a tremendous amount of calm and very simple to do, because if you have permission to touch someone else, you can do this to them or you can actually mirror it for them and have them do it to themselves, and so during these
highly stressful times. I've been having myself like crazy. I've been encouraging people to haven themselves. The word haven. In comes from that the word haven t a safe haven, and so we use touch to down, regulate the nervous system and what the reason where's identified? Is that when you literally put yourself in a particular way and a particular pace that, soothing sensation begins to translate into a delta brainwave frequency and that delta brain we frequency is slower, brainwave frequency tends to be associated with sleeping or getting into our more trance like state and that's very differ then a beta brain way, frequency, which is what we tend to have when we are worrying or when we are women stressing about something, especially a high beta brainwave. Frequency is what happens when were ruminating about something So we use touch self touch in particular during self evening to create
common response within the body and then You can actually pair that self touch with a brain, tricking act but he saw a over the three different types of movements in theirs will obviously make the resources available to listeners, but Three movements go stroking the side of your arms from your shoulder down to your elbow, so your criss crossing your hands across your chest, so that your right hand touches your left shoulder left hand, touches your right shoulder and from your shoulders to your elbows, you're, just stroking downward and then, rather than rubbing back up, you just lift up your hand in stroke downward again. So it's this downward movement of stroking, the side of your arms that for many especially when you are more stressed out, the more stress you are the more in continuous you'll start to feel what just ten arm strokes can do for you of coming. nervous system,
the other one, is you can do the same? Stroking sensation across your palms wrist a finger tipps and risky fingertips like your washing your hands, which most of us are doing a lot of it swashing her hands in a slow like manner and third has to do with taking your hands across your own forehead, so you're, taking it from the centre of your forehead to europe, balls forehead to temple as a kind of straw that you do as if you were trying to iron out the wrinkles on your forehead, and these three times types of movement, have been tested to show that when stimulated, they will start to release a delta brainwave frequency and that dealt a brain. Frequency then converts to something called gaba in the brain and gatt. Is inhibitory, whereas
if the colleen and cortisol are excited tory. They get us revved up, gabba slows us down, and so what I love about, having as it's basically teaching people how to work with their own pharmacology and side of their brain, that we can actually create certain core mons see towson by cuddling and feeling connected something bigger than ourselves and then using our touch to actually create a sense of soothing. So that's great, This is something you could do during the day, but also sounds like something really really easy to do before you going to bed You fall asleep precisely better as well get absolutely, and so much of our stress response actually relies on power sleeping at night, because, if your stress throughout the day, then you are likely to not sleep as well at night, have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, and then waking up not rested in depleted than creates this continued stress cycle than you might be turning to more sugar
foods which stress your body further. So it definitely is so important to start to create calm in the body whenever possible, to counteract the stress response, got it and again, we we will be sure to check the show nuts because war. This is a lot of information, but we'll just put altogether few in a simple resource so that you don't have to serve madly scribble notes here. Next up you talk about something called butterfly taps or a criss cross. What is this said? These are some of the other physical exercises that we could do and when you are crossing the midline of the body year, activating the left and right hemispheres of your brain and very similar to the evening where your crisscrossing, your arms, across your body here your chris, asking your arms across your body, and you just start to tap one hand and then another. So it's acre flapping one butterfly wing after another. I will give a little video linking to this, but this is again another simple exercises, the symbol, Who says that you could do to start getting the brain out of this worried state,
a lot of what we're doing, as were using the body to trick the brain. in two or more commonplace got it, and thank you awesome so, together of video resource for that. The next thing is something that I have heard that has become so popular, really feel like over the last five five you're. So the thing and people call it different things right. Some people call it tapping. Some people call it. You have tea. I can't remember what that stands for tell me what this is and and what the ideas behind it and how it might help with anxiety you have tea stands for emotional freedom technique and its often refer to as tapping and you're basically tapping different points on the body, while repeating certain affirmations- and this is something that I think has become so popular, because so many people can instantaneously notice the benefits of it. It's something that has had quite a bit of research behind it, but it's also very hard to research, because you can't separate out
it's hard to run a placebo of it, even if you're having other than having people half random points, which has also been shown to be somewhat effective. But it is a set of exercises that you do tapping in a particular order of peace while also repeating affirmations now half of the benefit of ye have tea, and their exercises. Like these body exercises that were giving you, actually remembering to do it. So if you can catch herself in the heat of the moment and actual get yourself to say, remy use one of their techniques that I have learned on this progress and put it into action. That already is putting you ahead of the curve because So much of our tools for how to overcome worry, have to do and anxiety have to do with interrupting the response of something stressful triggers me and body is releasing the so any time we start to redirect ourselves to a new behaviour, whether it be tapped.
whether it be a butterfly stroke, whether be soothing and stroking the side of your arms. Sometimes you can even do something as silly as do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around. If that's exercise that you have associated with something that might make you laugh and actually interrupt. The pattern. You're gonna begin to see benefit. These topics The places are actually tied to meridians, which are known within eastern medicine as points of energy that we can stimulate within our body and when you are repeating these affirmations, along with the tapping movements essential your tricking, your brain into a new pattern, and after just a few rounds of this you're going to experience, benefit and but some people, argue that it doesn't matter what you do for a certain number of rounds. If you view sing something like a song for three or four rounds, you might find that you actually feel somewhat better as well, and that's because your use
your body, to actually shift your physiology yeah. I love that an end I confess to em. Somewhat of a sceptic of this modality fer a while proudly with some of the people who really popularizing no one is questioning their. I kind of like really does this really do anything and I have experiences benefit, and I know so. Many people now that have gone into it's skeptics is not type of thing. Where you, you know, it only works. If you believe it you just do it and it actually makes can make make meaningful change and there's, no downside up in shot. So why and attend to what I love it It tends to, and I a lot of these things to their things. It to change your state fairly rapidly, you know if not necessarily long term, solutions with the things that you keep repeating doing over and over two keeps early resetting
better way and there's there's no cost to them. You like there's something there their relatively easy to do. Yeah, there's not inaccessibility issue with them. Ok, so for number six you talk about something called forward for, and which is fascinating, because europe have a history in the world of yoga practitioners and as long time, teachers and there's a whole category of postures or us on us, that were served generally known as a folder forward folding and as a teacher, you. Come to learn very quickly. This, very identifiable and repeatable physio. Google and psychological response. It tell me more about what this is, what you mean by that Adam and how it works in the context of what we're talking about yes,
Well all the things that we're talking about that relate to our body. Tools is using our body to down regulate our nervous system, so he can calm. The anxiety calmed the worry response of the body when we do a forward fold, whether it be mr inviting you to stand up, put a slight bend in your knees and then bend your self over your hips to try to touch the floor. You would be folding your body in half in a forward fold or let's say I invited you to take what we would call a child's pose, where I would have you kneel on the floor and extend your hands out in front of you and allow your body to fold onto your thighs, letting your forehead touch the floor or a pillow or blanket when happens and we fold our body is wine. It gets you activating your vegas nerve, which comes through the whole front of your body and very often it brings more of your body lower. Then your heart, and so your heart does not need to work as hard in order to pump blood
into your body. If I wanted to get your body stimulated or excited or up regulated, if I wanted your heart, to start going faster. The simplest way for me to tell you to do that is, I would say lift your arms up over your head in from there, if it with your arms up straight up over your head, your heart is gonna speed up just because it has to work harder to pump blood up. if you bring your arms down any fold, your body forward, your heart rate act least slows down, because it doesn't have to work as hard to keep your muscles receiving the blood flow. So when we fully forward it starts to stimulate the paris summit in response, the relaxation response in the body, so a very simple calming routine for yourself, a really great one to do at night before you're about to Sleep is to spend little bit of time. Sit down on the floor, extend your legs and take a gentle forward.
old over your legs or take a chance suppose or, if, in the middle of the day, you need to take a break or you're feeling stressed out, can even said and then put your hands on your desk and fold forward, resting her head on to your hands or from a chair. you can actually fold forward by spreading likes, facilitates there's room for your body to fold in between her legs and light body to sort of hang down. You also, get some bonuses and hear such a little, such as a little bit of traction to your spine and to relax your shoulders in your neck. If you ve been typing for a long time are sitting at the computer for a long time, but this is a very simple way to kick up that relaxation response by moving your whole body into a specific position yeah. I love that and have experienced it many times and so accessible to pretty much anybody which I really love so number seven. You have written down as singing or chanting. Tell me about it
yeah. So there is a nerve in our body? That is the nerve, that's responsible for the relaxation response. It's called the vaguest, nerve and vegas comes from the word vague, because it's this nerve that wanders throughout all the different parts of our our body through the front of her body in particular it enerve aids, the most in our guide and also our in our hearts, and the way that the two nerves pass in an up through the brain is the one goes the each go through the knack on the sides of your neck and when we sing and when we each hand and make any type of sound that reverberates in our throat, we actually can stimulate that vegas nerve. This, the mantra or sound one is an interesting one, because anything that makes the m sound the gets that vibrate I'm going in our throats and that vibration can actually help stimulate that vegas, nerve and-
this is a simple thing, but that we could do, but obviously, when you are singing or let's say, chanting, some read a prayer read something: it actually has meaning for you that can relax your body you're, going to get an even stronger relaxation response, but sometimes singing and just like or screaming or making sound is one of them, the most a simple primal ways of moving one energy out of our body, because we are making sound, but also when we are chanting and humming weird that vibration is actually going to create a relaxation response by stimulating our vagus nerve. The I love that I saw some research last year action by somebody you from what I recall is a mentor of yours from Your study of mine, biomedicine, dont, remember who it's a person who was who doesn't really fascinating. Research and research was compared them
but toning. So what you're describing at seeing our chanting? He is like a more sanitized. He, like joliet toning, that kind of includes all these different things and on they compared toning for three minutes with. I believe it was a control group that did nothing just sat quietly and then things like meditation or mindfulness or breed and they found that tony actually was equally, if not more effective, at creating really fast physiological changes and state. That were long lasting and for a lot of people much easier to access. So it's really need to Some of the research are starting to emerge absolutely so next up on a lot of people going to like this one baths and in particular you also talked about not just certainly the water but the sound and yeah. So again using the body to down regulate the nervous system. So hearing water create
it's a the hearing, especially the sound of the water breaking, is important for the release of ions and and how that impacts. Our brain so can be very, very calming to also let the warmth of the bath warm your body and relax. Those muscles Ivacy can throw in salts as well to help with the relaxation to use the role of sense as well. Our sense of smell is them one of the most primal senses that we have in it directly goes into our brain and creates a sense of relaxation when you, when you work with different scents, and so it is a powerful way in a simple way to create a relaxation response. Also, if you just lay in a warm body of water with your eyes closed, just the process of being prone and laying down within itself is helpful. Laying there, with your eyes, closed doing your best to relax, tells body. Things must be safe
If I could lay her close my eyes, one of my men towards doktor guy tree Debbie wrote a book called the calm brain and she posits that perhaps one of the benefits of forty in psychoanalysis. Obviously there might have been them more, probably many other benefits, but you say one of the main benefits if you can lay on a couch with your eyes closed with a complete stranger for thirty five to forty minutes, just talk about anything, that's on it on, on your mind, rascally creator, like station response in your body, because numerous a part of you must say why must be safe If I could lay your for this long and just talk and any time we just take the time to lay down, but also use the power of the water to relax. Our muscles is powerful. If you they get a little whim half with it. You can actually spike you're nervous system and spike your stress response by taking an ice cold shower immediately after your bath. As a way of actually doing what's called her me says, very short, a burst of stress actually create a deeper sense of calm afterwards,
So that's bonus for those of eu ninjas out there that, like to follow the the whim, half cry with them, be side of things, but we can use our body and making is the sound of water also if standing in the shower, letting the shower run over your head over. The crown of your head is another way to get those those relaxation breathe brain frequencies going. I know a lot of evening practitioners that will do shower meditations, where they combine the feeling the water hitting their head as a lot along with some of those affirmations and and use that to create that sense of calm yeah. I love the idea, potentially experiment into combined some of these things, because a lot of them really are pretty easily combine a ball and not about purse I dont know why just but I love standing in a really hot shower with a strong water current, I think the combination of the heat- and I think it can almost goes back to the young
The touch you get, this stimulation of the water, surely pulsing on your skin with the heat and then the sound of the water there. Three things together have always been one of my go to some number nine here is probably the single saying that I Aren't you most often about new, like almost a decade, long life on this practice, but the thing that I think probably preceded it and have experimented the most and has really been one of the things that helps me? Bring me back into a better place. Most rapidly is breathing exercise, as you know, in the world of yoga, wheeler this has brought a roma, which translates roughly two that the thing that logic constrain or were contain or manipulate the bodies, energy, and, if that I have found that if you britain a certain way, it makes you soup. anxious and super alert, but if you breathe in a different way it. Actually. Calms down really rapidly at that that's been one of the most powerful things from the en masse, included, except I
tell you that, at the peak of some of, I stress, stressful life events. I think one of the more stressful events had never faced was when my mom was so, dying over the course of three or she had fought ovarian cancer for about ten years, and there is a in time where I normally as a yoga teacher. I would be able to call myself down pretty quickly using my breath and then I actually found her breathing exercises- were doing it were cutting it and that's where I needed to go to using my body in and getting a combination of things. I think I went to go see at the time a crane sacred therapists in a massage therapists. Naso did some water therapies and other things I needed a little bit more, and so this is where we say. If you only have a hammer everything like a nail and, however, I would say that breathing is not like a hammer. It is like one of those swiss army knives that has like fifteen or twenty different. was on it learning how to leverage our breath is probably the single most powerful tool week
and work quite within our body. That's our capacity to control our nervous system and its basically as simple as the fact that every inhale you take stimulates your sympathetic nervous system, a little bit more and every exe, Well, you make stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system a little bit more and very simply put these are sort of like the gas pedal and the brake pedal in your body as if you want to give herself more gas, it means you need more sympathetic response, which means inhale more than you exhale. So that sounds like do a few of those you'll get lightheaded and pr like already, I just got a little bit warmer. It's like le MA said and nodded not a good thing to do. If you're already anxious exactly exactly I'd, probably stress some of you out just listening to it and if he wanted eight more relaxation. It means you need two up. Your parasympathetic nervous system, which means make your exhale longer than your inhale. So we
train ourselves, the key when yours, first starting off with proteome? I is that you want to find a natural com enough place to start these practices, because for some people they jump in too much too fast. They'll start doing trying to inhale for five and out for tend to quickly and what happens is, as they actually stress their body bit a bit more it. It can create the the opposite response, or just start with, where you're at and the simplest way would be to just in hell and exhale and count. What is your natural breath pattern for how long you, naturally one in hell for and how long you naturally want to exhale for and if your sightly, anxious or protein anxiety, your now
I truly couldn't have a shortened exhale, and so then all you're going to do is extend, try to make it a little bit longer a little bit longer and work yourself up to a place where your doubling the count for your exhale compared to your inhale yeah. I love that and it's funny idea, he'd be average person breathes something like sixteen times a minute, and I'm with my with my current program or practice has been this way for quite a while now I'll, myself down to two to breast a minute and on occasion I share this with people and they look like really read: how can a human being actually live on two breaths, many of it's fine to do. If you take months, to allow your body to adapt you're not achieve triggering. I stress response by you, know your body thinking, something's, really wrong arms. You have to be really gentle and really gradual, but once there I mean Being in that state, for me, is, is kind of semi blissful one other thing, I'm cool
is on asking about is very often so I do that every morning idea than a morning premium a practice which is right after meditation it. For me, I very often place one hand over my chest, and one hand over my abdomen and even if, not doing my property Ahmad it there. something that happens to me that simple change. Do I put my left hand over my chest or my heart and my right hand over my belly button and within, I want to say thirty seconds, they're sort of like this wave of calm that sweeps over me. I almost always do it at the same time as honey, I'm a, but I'm wondering if, if beyond tat, if you're, aware of something else that might be yeah you're, stimulating the vagus nerve, so our vagus nerve, stimulator it innervate is the most in our gut, which actually is our last sta, our tenth tool for people, which is soft belly, eating, so it's a great transition into it, but over your
and the hand on your your heart and over your solar plexus, we are bringing war if you're bringing that energy and you're going to get a greater vagus nerve stimulation. This is another reason I get another guess we can make this an eleventh tool if he'd like, but just laying face down, while sleeping with your head fitfully sleeping face down, isn't so great for neck positioning. It is actually more soothing and more calming to lay face down on your belly, because, when you're getting that weight to your chest into your your stomach area, you're going to get more vagus nerve stimulation. This is why many massage therapists will start with people face down when they're, giving a massage and then flip you over is because you're going at your nervous system will down regulate much faster when you're laying on your belly button fascinating under rule. I always knew I felt the birth of physiological eight, the physical and mental effects really rapidly. but I nevertheless that was so probably what was agreed that circle suited
it's great, so you brought up the soft belly thing tommy. So that's really number ten. What what do you mean by soft belly and how does it had? This is when we combine visualization and affirmation with the use of our body in our breathing exercise. So been mentioning this biggest nerve, allied and mentioning that the vegas nerve and nerve aids, the most in our stomach, and so this is why there is a strong integration between our guide health and our emotional health and our mental health and the importance of good, healthy nutrition, because our food will actually impact or mood, but in terms of breeding in the field the mind body medicine. We do a very simple practice where you put your hands on your belly and sort of like your call to do one hand on your heart one hand in your belly can put both hands on your belly and your action
breathing and trying to send the breath into your abdomen when were sending breath inter abdomen, were more likely to be using our diaphragm to try to get our breath lower, and then the affirmation with this is slow and low. China's slow your breath, but also low into your belly. when you are actually imagining and visualizing your stomach softening. It actually can up that vegas nerve response, much stronger, so relaxing into the belly breathing and you can actually breathing either slow. The word slow and, as you breathe out the word imagining the word low or you can breathe in the word soft and then exhale the word belly and in and body medicine. This is used a lot as a strategy to create a deeper com response, pretty rapid, and with all of the technique said, were sharing today whence you, to establish a practice with these things, your body will learn to be trained to drop in to those places really quickly. I would beg Jonathan that you could be kind of gun,
bout your day than you drop into your two breaths a minute practice and within just a few minutes. Your body goes, oh I know what I'm doing. I know it would have supposed to do right now. We're supposed to be calm right now. Is that true? of your nervous system that we can create by taking on these practices yeah for sure, and in fact I think, as a matter. Second, at this point, but again it had no in the early days he now to be alone you're my body kind of reset, if I'm stressed out or gesture or whatever it may be in a matter of a minute or two a couple minutes. Yet it's a really powerful. It's a really powerful skill To be able to have its like some data, to know that you have that available to yourself, no matter what your circumstances are, I think, for all tools is just really phone, especially the idea of being. About two to work with him and potentially combine them and caesar like what are the two. that work best for me at any given moment in time. What are the ones that work best together? What's most excessive
well to me at any given moment in time. What can I do most easily mice, First is through someone else, super helpful, ok, so that wraps up our ten body oriented tools to help you move through work through anxiety and they can be used in lee intertwined gauge compounded whenever really works for you, but as amelia shared with us earlier on theirs hold where, when the emotion actually is what he described as part of a five or below sometimes there is a different type of tool that and be troika more of your and go to and causes mental tools, and just like we had and body tools to share with you a meal. is a huge fan of underground I actually had to call a much bigger list down and tools so that we didn't have our six arafat yesterday we want to share ten mental tools with you to come,
about to tap and get you to a similar play but differently. Again, these tools that may also be used in combination with some of the body tools that we talked about about before we jump into the ten different tools million? Is there anything else that you feel is serving important in the set of these we want to continuously cultivate the check. And with yourself and checking and with your body. So that is how you're gonna know it. in a place where I can just talk back to my thoughts. The way we're going to talk about it now or do I need something different and so the more times we're checking in with ourselves throughout the throughout the day. Where am I at? What do I need where my at? What do I need the better, and that will be a good way to tell tool you're gonna, drawn from your toolkit love that It's kind of funny, as your mentioning that I was thinking about house People set their devices or there were balls you now to kind of like vibrate I have a little some sort of low alarm or some sort of buzz to remind it.
Get up and move their body. Should there not just erlich, sitting all day every day, nonstop I almost wonder if you could do that to us we sent during this window. With with that, checking that you just mention you feel like that would be useful or with that start to get to a level where it would actually be too much. Now I say I would be tremendously useful. In fact, that brings us to our first mental tool, which I call catch. The chatter you have to catch the chat in order to know what you're working with so the same way I wouldn't feel comfortable. Let's say something was wrong with my computer. Taking a screwdriver trying to take my computer part in trying to fix it cause. I have absolutely no clue what the parts are all about her, what I'm actually taking apart, I'm not going to go, I then and work with what's broken in my computer. I can't work with my thoughts if I don't have the capacity to catch my thoughts, so catching. The chatter has to do with being able to pause and ask yourself what am I thinking about, or what was I just thinking about some of are
very aware of our thoughts and we, you can use the image of a radio dial, sometimes you have to dial up the volume in order to hear what's actually happening in there, for some people they're so aware of their thoughts. It's actually gonna be a matter of of of quieting it down and when we talk about putting systems in place to help you catch the chatter. You can begin to work with both. So one to do. This is absolutely lately to said what we would call in psychology primer, which is something out side of yourself. That's going to remind you to pause and to actually stop and notice what was I thinking about, which could be a smart device or or a wearable that gives you a prompt. It could be a post it that you put on your computer. It could where every time you walk into a door, you you ask yourself: ok, what am I thinking about in this moment when you write down the thoughts, what happens as it can really quiet down the chatter oftentimes the thing
go through our mind feel like their overwhelming, and it feels like it's just so much. Some people. might relate to this experience where you feel like you, ve got so much to do under to do list and the ideas are just overwhelming you and then you sit down and you actually write your lists down, and then you right the list down and realise that it it's gotta, be more than that, because it seemed so much more overwhelming, but once it and down it doesn't seem so bag and that's because, when the thoughts or just in our mind there constantly oftentimes looping, and it's not that we're just thinking lots of different things throughout the day. We tend to find trends so catching the chatter writing it down becoming aware of your mind, is going to facilitate the remaining nine mental tools that we're gonna be offering you and it's real the doorway and to start to work with repair up,
aid, rewire, you're thinking. I love this as you remember that also saying well hell: what is the thing that people don't have to be pretty to check many many many many times a day, but actually already in the habit of doing, and that is their mobile device, their cell phone. While I was almost taking, what of it, create a little video that said one by thinking or whatever the appropriate prompt, is or not a video, but but an image and made you're the lock screen on your phone number at the jolly every time you picked it up. You would see that, and now would become every time you let your phone. It would prompt you to just pause for a heart beat and no is where your thoughts are. Yet. This is a skill set that I I know differently as meta awareness or leak from the world of meditation and mindset, training and- and I agree that I think it's sort of like the it's master skill for all the other I said, skills because it helps you can.
Become aware of where your mind is at a given time and that serve unlocks the ability to work with it yet absolutely Let's move on to mental rule number two, and that is talk back to the thought. So we have identified some thoughts now and your saying: let's start a conversation Yes, right sort of conversation, the simplest re frame or conversation that we can have is to separate, you from the part of you that is thinking so off, We have this thought that might be I'm angry or I'm scared or I'm frustrated and in all to actually work with our thoughts. We have two separate ourselves from the thoughts and feelings that were having, so this the list, re frame and any time we start to refrain. We are redirecting our brain, whether we are redirecting our brain, because we feel ourselves getting stressed out any use of physical tool that I gave you before or europe.
nigger, self chattering and you're going ok. I gotta use one of my tools. Your pattern interrupting the simplest one, is catching herself saying. I'm scared, I'm overwhelmed, and you say a part of me is blank A part of me is scared, or I am feeling scared as here too. I am these things when you are it when you are in secure. How do you change that when you are overwhelmed. It feels hard to change. So we can see to get ourselves into this habit and a lot of it has to do with our english language, if you think about four eggs. But in spanish, if you were to say I'm hungry they is the word tango, Andre, which means I have hunger, it's very different to say I have hunger verses. I am hunger so we are condition through our language oftentimes to receive our emotions and our thoughts as things that
are a part of ourselves which make it feel harder to change, but if we can, start to do this very simple catch and redirect. Then we start to gain control over our thoughts, and this is a simple. I'd version of which you by cognitive, behavioral therapist witches were separating out the trigger the thing. That's how meaning what we would call the facts or in a in adversity from the b b leaves were having about the situation from the sea, the consequences, which is how it makes us feel, and so we are going to start to cry the separation from here's what's happening. Here's what thoughts I am having and these thoughts are not me. These feeling are not me their experiences that I, as a human being and having and when I can create initial separation, then I am able to actually work with these things. I love that because it takes it from being an identity level Faye, which we,
often have really serve it. It's brutal challenge to try and change that, because, if it's a part of our identity, that's a really big shifting to a feeling thing which is it is something that I am not. Of course part of who I am identity. But it's something that I am experiencing and and that gift is really powerful because makes you so much more changeable abolish or like subject to change, which I really love so much. jump into number three, which is about recognising the thoughts that are part of your brain. That's trying to protect. You tell me more about this being able to recognise that when we experiencing fear and anxiety, this is the emotion being able to signal to our body. Attention something bad might happen and continue to treat emotions as signallers. What emotions are a chain reaction of peptides and proof.
Means being released within our body, their chemical reactions and we receptors within our brain that catch those chemicals that we sperience as an emotion, there's, no one part in your brain, that's responsible for excite mention another part of your brain that six, that's responsible for anger! It's this in chemicals they're just going through different receptors and so on. igniting that were physically wired. To experience these things for a reason and fear is trying to protect. You worry and anxiety. Are your brains attempt to try to protect you and it doesn't really know the difference between what is a act will fear or what is projected fear its impact to know that when we look at the areas, the brain that light up when a person is imagining something to win actually experiencing it? There's very high overlap. Scientists predict as much as an eighty sent overlap in our brain. When
imagining a worst case scenario to one were actually physically experiencing that worst case scenario. So imagining yourself running out of food and not knowing what to do that can actually trigger your body to start physiologically reacting the same way that it would, if that was actually physically happening in front of you and so recognising that physiological reaction is they are to try to protect you even Oh there may not be immediate threat; they usually isn't an immediate threat, so many p. I'll do what I call second degree imploding, meaning we angry that were angry we worry about the fact that were worrying posts who just being able to recognise. Ok, I am experiencing this emotion. This emotion isn't me, and I can I can let this pass. It's ok, and rather than fighting the emotion being able to save, key brain. I know you're trying to fact me- and this is
helpful right now in austin, He brain for getting me the worst case scenario of what happens. If I can't pay my bill six months from now, I really agree hate you. I got the message: I'm ok, so strange as it might be. Appreciating your brain for worrying actually calm down, because again it just it's just trying to protect you, and so often people try to ignore their worries. Try to took to push them down and, if you imagine, the last time you were in a swimming pool and you have a beach all inside of your hands. You can push the beach by underwater and keep it submerged underwater, which I would say, pushing your worries to your unconscious, but then the men you get distracted like you're, taking a shower trying to fall asleep at night and you relax. your hand that beach balls, gonna pop up to the surface and a lot of what keeps people up able to fall asleep at night is because, although
Each balls are that they ve been trying to submerge all day long, arduous popping up to the surface. But when start to do these different cognitive or mental tools that we're working with right now, what actually deflating the beach ball so that their not needing to pop up- and than resisting the worry or giving into the worry, instead just saying. Thank you brain thank you for doing your job to try to protect me, I'm ok, actually com, the brain down. yeah, I mean so interesting. It's almost cameroon to a dive, but when you describe it, that makes so much sense, and I kind of love, you'd, say hashtag to flip the ball We have certainly, though, if if we can do the work to make that happen, I think it could be so powerful that some super help also number foreign your list is something you call. What is being taught me about this? Yes, this is actually my dear friend and colleague, rainy jean run
one of the most brilliant online programmes for children, teaching children. How to manage fear and anxiety, and she it is children about the two different parts of their brain. emotional brain or what's the olympic system and the rational brain, which is the human part of our brain and our neo cortex, and she says that one of the things that happens is we get ourselves caught in a case of what effing? What if this happens? What, if that athens. What if this goes on indefinitely what if I lose my job? What if I lose my customers? What if I get a disease? What, if I'm passing something along- and I don't know that I'm passing it along uncertainty- is going to cause our brain to go into a series of what? If thinking now we talk about this separate brain regions and obviously but at any given moment were operating many many different parts of our brain and its. I wanted just
simplify it to say that when we are hijacked or when we are triggered, we have more. energy being fed to certain parts of our brain than others our emotional brain verses are rational, brain and she as that, when we get hijacked our emotional brain, which is supposed to be responsible for what is happening in the moment, starts taking control and take responsibility for what. If thing, now the capacity to white. If the capacity to think about the future actually a uniquely human experience: where are they the animal in the animal kingdom that huh, a sense of future orientation and the real for that is because we have this neo cortex, this human part of our brain, the frontal lobe that enable us to reason and to think and
no evolution airily that once our ancestors actually developed the capacity to have a sense of future and have a remembrance of the past week, not to worry about the future, so we can actually mark the birth of what a thing with the crew nation of the neo cortex our neo cortex when we are in a state of calm use what a thing appropriately? It uses it to be creative to be future oriented, to build, to create and to innovate that is a very important and powerful thing for our neocortex do and our emotional brain is responsible for what is it? What is in this moment, it is. The part of our brain that is keeping control of your body temperature regulating at every given moment. It is the part of your brain that is helping you orient. Where is your body in space, so you don't get to go and you don't feel like you're falling. It's the part of your brow
that, in this moment is dead. staying or breathing and your your heart is beating. All of that coming from your emotional brain, your limbic system, your reptilian brain, your core brain and so when you catch yourself in a state of stress, what, if ing the ways that you can actually claim this back and say I have come back to what is being what is happy in this moment and give brain the opportunity to do what its wired to do, which is our national brain is meant to help us work in the moment and help us problem solved and in order to get that problem solving back on We have to get our neo cortex involved says before I gave metaphor, which is, I think, of it as a banana, where the peel is the worry and the banana that you eat is the problem solving and we want it.
peel away the stress so that we are what, if in from a calm place and when we are, what is saying were able to be in the present moment and letter emotional brain do what its wired to do very cool. That makes let us it lets I've been to number five. So your number five is designate wary time. Tell me about this this is creating a container for your worry, so What do you do with a brain? That's filled with lots of what, if The same way that you might try to contain a child's timber and from by sort of knowing that it's going to last for assured certain period of time, going to say, ready, set, go like get it all out. We want to give you some time. I'm your brain and opportunity to get it all out because trying not to think Five research has actually been shown that when we try not to think about something it actually dip,
it's us and uses up more energy then it would to actually have the thought so offering your thoughts, a king keener where you say to your brain, ok, brain you have twenty yes, and over the course of twenty minutes. I want you to give me every what, if give me every worst case scenario, every worry that that you have an you actually say that this is the time. I am going to worry and me you designate twenty minutes of worry time every day for the next week and when you find brain offering you worries out of that window of time you say, Thank you brain, but, right now, not worry time. I've had lots and lots of clients have great success with this particular exercise. because throughout the day there just able to say thank you brain you'll, get too that tomorrow. You can imagine that your brain, your capacity to focus This is like a stage and there's only so much room on that stage were all right,
facing a lot overwhelm in how do navigate this time, because so much of our attention is being ripped in lahti, from places a lot of people are just multi too, asking and their finding themselves. Switching tasks alot pulling up their phone looking for, though, most recent update from the news checking their email. All of these things are feeling that mental stage and when we get caught- with anxiety. It's like this It just gets filled up with only the microphone, microphone being hugged by worry and giving it a container can actually give you back the control of stopping it from happening in a Those moments where you don't want to be worrying, love that get em It makes so much sense to major sir say let it again, it's like another poached. Deflating the beach ball right S, replica buttons just spreading it and peppering at saint. This give me all day every day
create a window for kitty container for poor it all out, so it certainly is out there. We process it rather than bottling in love, and it's an we create windows. You, sir, like designate sacred time around it to not go there, so your number sex is, I will handle it I've handled it before I'll handle it again. What does that mean risk? from the brilliant work of susan Jefferson, who wrote a book called feel the fear and good anyway, I've been giving rise a little bit lots of tools, let me give you a little bit of a background to about me and my own relationship to anxiety and worry, because Susan Jeffers book feel the fear and do it anyway actually transformed my life. I was raised by a chronic worrier where my mom had a phd in worry, I also have proposed likely inherited a heightened threat response genetically because I am
Of of holocaust survivors, my grandparents, my grandmother, was a holocaust survivor and we, well that we have that threat response within us, but on top of all of that, my mother had what I would consider to be the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to appear in happen, and my mother and father had my brother passed away when he was twenty four, and I was fourteen at the time and some all eddie. Being someone who worried all the time about her kids. Having had had the worst possible thing happened to her made her than worry about me more than she had ever worried before. So I was raised with the type of experience where, if I didn't pick up my mother's call, I would have seventeen miss calls from her and then, when I finally pick up the phone I would here. Did you forget? You had a mother, with his guilt and this sad frustration that I didn't pick up her call because of how much she worried about me all the time and then
after saying no mother, I thought it was borne by immaculate conception and I would then need to call myself down from how much stress I got from her. So my tendency was to be a high level worrier and to have to deal with my own anxiety responses, so nothing I'm sharing with you guys. I've used in my own life and susan efforts. Is book really was Turning point for me, because she me understand the truth bout worry, which is any time your growing any time doing something new you're, gonna expense. And worry so everybody else around you time, there's uncertainty and lack of control. Your gun to experience, worry and she me understand that we don't worry about the things that we think were worried about. We worry losing our health, we dont worry of losing our job. We don't actually even worry truly about losing somebody else in our lives. It's important to us. She says I
all worries funnel down into just one fundamental worry and when you can do with that. One fundamental worry: you can actually deal with all of your worries and so that basic worry is that we wouldn't be able to handle it something catastrophic. think would happen and I wouldn't be able to handle it, and we can't talk back Who are worried, thoughts. The same way that we can talk back to our judgment. Thoughts are judgment. Thoughts were judging ourselves in the situation and we can actually use evidence to refrain what we're thinking to ourselves. You can't give evidence for something that has not happened yet. So I can't promise you that things gonna be all right, and when you have a person whose, having it an anxious experience or their worrying and you just try to kill them down by saying things: you're gonna be all right. Well, very rarely does work
words, soothed and nervous system or in you can't promise that, and you can't promise that you know everything is going to have this type of outcome. The thing you can promise is that you will and let your hand, some way and she an affirmation that she says you can talk to your mind and say I'll handle it. I've handled it before and handle it again. And that one of the most powerful things that we can do for ourselves right now to bolster our sense of resilience. Is to think back about all the ways in which we have been resilient. Things that we didn't think that we were gonna get through, that we did get through and guess what you wouldn't be here listening to this right now, if you didn't somehow handle it, I've handled it
Well I'll handle it again is one of the only true talk backs that we have for worry and the more frequent you can start to redirect your self to that affirmation. The morgue Actually, we are physically changing your brain. What we know about neuro plasticity, as that are thought And our behaviors are often habitual, so we don't realize. The patterns of thinking that we get ourselves into if you're a high level worrier or your prone to anxiety, you have neural groups and synopsis that are frequently firing to a specific pattern, but, as you start He really internalize this a handle it I've handled it before I'll, handle it again. time you redirect your brain, your creating a new neural pathways and your pattern in your brain with this new. Tendency and overtime. I'm your building, your own self efficacy, because it so import
right now during uncertain times, to find something to trust in to find something: you believe in and whether that be a higher power or your own resourcefulness. Your body needs to know that it can trust that it is okay, somehow will get through it. So that's that site from Susan jefferson. That statement has been in my brain and very frequently that's what I'm repeating to myself. When I'm finding my thoughts really going to wear, case scenarios. What, if thinking so, here's my question around this? If you don't believe it in the beginning, will it still do its job and against the second part of that is repeating this over and over and over and over eventually to train your brain, to believe that it is so There is something to be said about fake it until you make it or better way of saying it is fake. It until you become it. Repetition can be helpful.
I actually would recommend what our next is. Tool is, if you find that you do lee that you economy to stronger tool, you can still work with this point geller affirmation, but you have to give in detail so I'm saying I'll, handle it. I've handled it before I'll handle it again, but a person I don't know if I handled it before. there really saying is. I am not sure I am satisfied with healthy were handled before so I am not buying that Amelia. I could have done this me? I should have done this differently. That's usually the only time that they're not buying that affirmation because from my perspective You're standing, you have a heart, beat your breathing, you got through it now. Could you have got through it in a different way maybe- and this is where forgiveness needs to come into play- where you can make peace with your past, this where you can remind yourself
it ain't over yet and like so off. in my favorite quote by steve jobs. He says you can't connect the dots forward. Only backwards. So you can help yourself believe that thought a little bit more by actually, sitting down what are all of the things that you have handled and see. You really gotta go to the detail in order to be to start internalizing that affirmation a little bit more, or remind yourself that perhaps it go the way that I wanted to in the past, but maybe that has happened for reason. Maybe I, be here today if those circumstance had not happened, the way that they did so you can deep in that one exercise through detail or Can we start to rip, did and over time you'll get there. But I have to be this I'm not a huge fan of that approach, because so often it's just
a slower approach, I would say, have to repeated a few thousand times. Maybe I don't even have an exact number could be different for different people pending on how resistant you are to accepting the affirmation, but when you actually self more details about it. Then I think that you, able to actually internalize internalizing and you'll get their faster. That makes more sense to me and it feels like it leads kind of logically, inter numbers and which I have in my notice worst case best case. Most likely tell me what this is. He had this is a great intervention or exercise for people who tend to be prone to high the worry or panicking- and this is the type of exercise. That's one of those more detailed exercises that I would put into practice you simply saying I've handled it before I'll handle. It again doesn't work, it
means that you ve got a part of you. That's more prone to catastrophes easing and qatar revising when we teach this two kids we take this snowball thinking, one worry leads to another leads to another leads to another. But the word get stronger. The the feeling of worry get stronger as You go along so this exercise is really good to help the brain. Stop that tendency- and if were he's get really strong for you. I would actually do this one. And write it out, and then it will make the other things that you talk back to your thoughts in real time, a little bit easier, and so it goes on ass. You recognise the fact that, when you are going from, one would have thought to another to another, or this will have and then this will happen and then this will happen, porn to know that the experience of the
worry we'll get stronger, will get even more powerful, with every thought that you have and what often insofar is these aren't realistic thoughts, but they all just feel real and the reason they feel real is because your brain puts them into a step by step fashion. So It sounds something like I met not going to be able to go in to work and then my team is gonna realise that they don't actually need me and then I'm gonna get fired and then a monk and be able to find another job in today's economy. and then I'm not gonna be able to pay my bills, and then I will have to move out of my man and then I'm not gonna, be able to find another apartment. And then it will have to move back in with my parents. But then my parents may be sick. And so on and so forth, and it's like one thought to another, and then, if you just get caught up in that bought up catastrophe using, you may find
herself at the worst case scenario of die alone on the streets by myself and I am doing my best to sort of act this out, for you guys it makes more sense when you actually are doing in real time or you're walking a person through this in real time. But it's basically the says of indulging your worst case scenario. Thoughts, bye, bye, sickly, letting it out and saying, and then what happens and then what happens and then what happens. But we Stop there- and this is really important, because sometimes people will just practice, lead their worst case scenario thoughts out and they realized their worst case scenario. Thoughts are little ridiculous and then they feel better cause. They got it out. Some people feel worse and so this is where you need the other two parts it s and I'm gonna walk you through in a moment and so The key is, is the odds of you living alone on the streets by yourself, given the fact that you're being asked to work from home right now no logical relationship, logic says
if a then be if it is he then it is war about that has more of a logical progression. Then the first thought and the tenth thought that you're having, but because, our thoughts go in step by step fashion somehow appear in his gonna think that its reasonable that it's a reasonable thought that I in a die alone. On the streets by myself, and the, what is needed is that it is being asked to work from home, and so it's really important to help people see that their thoughts are unrealistic. So we do worst case scenario thinking by writing out all of those worst case scenario, thoughts and we say to our brain and then what, and then what happens then what happens and we say given the fact- and you just go to the very few thing it's happening, witches and being asked to work from home. How likely is it that I'm going to have to live on the streets. likelihood is euro per said, there's no actual relationship, direct relationship for
point a to point. right, and so I have people actually go through everything that they wrote down and give me a percentage likelihood for that. Then we go to the best case scenario, and the best case scenario is like unrealistically best case scenario, This is like the phantom, they think gang Oprah ever How do you get so car disneyland, fantasy type of thoughts and sue? You start with the thing: that's the trigger witches. I am being asked to work from home and then though, to ok, unrealistically ascii scenario. Then what happens I love working from home and then what happens then. My boss tells me I never have to work from. In office ever again, and I can always choose where I work from and then what happens and then get promoted and then what happens? I win the lottery and then what happens I buy my island and then what happens in so your basically trying to go to these kind of
fantasy, crazy, best case scenarios that are, unrealistic, and then you go back you do the same thing you say given the fact that I am being asked to work from home? What is the per cent? likelihood that I am going to win the lottery and you go zero percent, and you do that for all of them and the reason we do this as we have basically teach our brain, your kind of brain training it as though it's it's in a lesson with you, your bed ITALY, saying these unrealistic, best case scenarios. Have this in percentage likelihood, as these worst case scenarios, but because we're in beings and were wired with a negativity by in our brain. We ve rarely are having a hard, I'm falling asleep at night, because we're thinking about these wild best case scenarios that can happen we're having a hard time sleep at night, cause we're thinking about all these worst case scenarios and so on train, your brain to recognise, hey neither These are actually real and
engaging that fantasy thinking and kind of ridiculous. king, where europe must laughing, where you're laughing at your brain like gosh. That's ridiculous me buying my own island. It actually get. Your brain out of that emotional limerick system response which enable You too, then get to the centred most likely scenario where you go. Ok, given the fact that I am being asked to work from home. What is most likely going to happen, which most likely going to happen is that it's gonna require an adjustment period and then what happens and other people in my company are going to be adjusting as well and we're gonna have to work together and then what happens and then we're gonna be out this fer. You know a couple of weeks for a couple of months. We don't know how long and then would have. and then eventually we're all gonna get to go back into the office and figure out It's gonna need to happen, then, and so on, and so fourth and you're going to what's most likely gonna happen, and I ve
this exercise with hundreds of people and what they experience is that, after you go to the worst case scenario, in the best case scenario, you are better able problem solved with actual syn areas that are likely to happen, which is the kind of problem solving you want to. Have you don't wanna be proud? sobbing, worse, case scenarios, because you can't one highly unrealistic and their very hard Actually do something about you wanna be problem. Solving on most likely scenarios, but we have to get our brain focused on me Be able to do that. so once you do the most likely scenarios, you can go back and you can do this percentage likely hoods, given the fact that ambition asked to work from home. What is the percentage likelihood that eventually things will go back to normal? Pretty high what is the likelihood that I'm going to have to have a adaptation time to get used to this darn high rate of ninety percent. Ninety five percent, then you can set up a game pie
But you want to be planning for most likely scenarios not for those worst case scenario, catastrophic thoughts that come from in a state of anxiety. So this is so interesting to me as I did a variation of them I will do it fairly. Regular basis is now as an entrepreneur. Somebody who's founded a bunch of things because I have lived times in this state of perpetual high stakes, uncertainty and anxiety, the followed this brings up for me and I'm sure it's on some people's mind also is what the worst case scenario. What, if the the likelihood of that nato is not zero? What, if a likely That is ten percent. will do, how do we handle a scenario that up one is that I found you cause, you know how Yet. This is a different scenario, but it's it's your our study and company, I knew the average company has a yelich. A very high rate of failure
so my worst case scenario and I'm founding something Is that your hide likelihood, but maybe it's even ten percent. You know What I found really helpful to me the combination of adding the question in well. How would I recover? and then literally map out right out. So if this happened This is how I would get back to a decent place and also bundling it with number six above which is it it is at your I'll handle it. I've handled it before I'll handle it again. I found it you like that those two and adding that one additional question, at least in my experience, when? In fact, you know you do have the better oh for tough, scenarios and two percent naturally it is meaningful that that can be done in which really helps me her step back into a place where doesn't change a circumstance, but it is hinges serve the way, their experiences, yeah. Absolutely, I would say that that's a beautiful example of the way in which
you're using your banana pun intended where it's you using the worry as a signal or two, you hey pay it. into something here and going through this. worst case. Scenarios like you said. Ten percent is not us extremely high percentage, but it still valid it still there and you want to who's that to inform the actual banana, not the appeal which is problem solving, which is what most likely centre, the purpose of doing worst case best case most likely is so you can get access to your neo court. ex your rational thinking, brain so that you can actually problem solved and so the looking back to say, I've handled it, the next step after I'll handle. It is what are my sheds and those two to come, naturally, when you are in a calm, centred problem, solving place there when were using our neo cortex to white, if
but when you're emotional brain is what a thing. Then you get worse case. scenarios that are paralyzing? They don't make you want to step up to the plate. They make you want to run away and they keep you problem, focus rather than solution, focused so low the strategy that you put into practice, because it's you being able to redirect your mind out of worry out of three and using the fact that your worry is signalling to you, pay attention and use it for proper sobbing yeah and as your saying that, I am also realising that what We very often do fires, sir, like got myself into a tough state. Why? as I would use one of the body tools first, it's funny that I think I'm sort of like realizing out loud that this was my process. Now that you've given me language for it, you know I would. I would go for a run yo guy word mountain bike. Whatever it was, I would you something physical to take me from
seven down to you. Like a four and a half and then once hours of four and a half that would give me easier. Access to these mental We were talking about the sort of like a two step process for me yeah. I love that one of them words that I used to describe what I do with people, as I say, I help people use their stick shift actually shift gears. So often what happens as people get stuck in a gear that they can't down, regulate front and oftentimes you have to pass through neutrally can't just go from fifth gear and just drop down into first gear you have to slow it down? You have to slow down slow it down and when you could just the car to fix had on you and so be able to a connection to your body, we, this mastery of being able to drive our own car dry,
our own emotional response and recognise that we have a lot of people who try to talk back or talk back to their thoughts. They try to calm themselves down using them he'll tools and, as we said, the body is just it's an easier way to self regular. whence during those higher gears, love that I shall let some let's drive into our fine all three here. Number eight on your list for the mental tools is my from this witches, as as a sitting practice as a sort of formal practice has been in my life on pretty much a daily. his fur around ten years now what you mean by mindfulness. Are you talking about? Mindfulness meditation are talking about a state of being or or some blend of, the two or something else yeah, so that the seated practice which I have also is is a huge part of my life. I have often
Turn to you, John a ban as my pillar of ultimate self regulation in bed. I know that got a daily seated practice for me, I have been practicing mindfulness since I was eighteen, but meditation has been when I was first introduced to meditation, has always been a hard thing for me to have a daily practice around, and so I will say that I have a- the relationship I have to my meditation practice, which is actually sitting on the cushion. Focusing my mind is what I do on the cushion, is what I do off the cushion where cushion my mind wanders I bring it back my mind wanders. I bring it back the way that my practice. has been. Is I from the practice and combat, I wonder from the practice I come back and the difference between in fairness and meditation is meditation, are practices that support a more ma.
In full way of being in the world. So the reason we practice is so that we have a habit in place that were able to take off the cushion into that did they things that were experiencing mindful within itself is a state of being present in the moment in a very small if it away in a way that is non judge until open, hearted and next to what is happening in the moment and one of the most famous books written on mindfulness is a cartel is the power of now and this and fullest mental tool of utilizing mindfulness, whether you're doing it as a practice on the cushion and training herself, to have your mind, wander and bring it back. have your mind, wander and bring it back or off the cushion. Is to realize that you are out of the moment and when you realise that you're out of the moment, because your mind is going to the future or its thinking about the past, just
recognising that you're out of the moment brings you into the moment and if there is any, are to unity that I believe that we as a species are facing right now, I think it is embrace the thousands, dear old are of training mindfulness, because we have no other choice right now. I re east tradition, has fulness and meditation as a core component of it. Every speech troll and religious tradition, has contemplation tie for silence. Focusing of one's thoughts on prayer on different things as part of the practices and the reason for that is because it helps firstly, soothe our nervous system and bring us into a more calm place so that we can act debate, our neo cortex. So we can problem solved more effectively and its. training ourselves out of that emotional brain that wants to
hijack our thoughts. Have us worry about the future, have as ruminate Our past rumination is, can the first people as a form of self flagellations just beating themselves up. I can't believe I said that I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I said that I can't believe I did that mindfulness training helps us, be control of our thoughts, and so whether you're, taking the practice to first sit were stand on a cushion and just noticed your thoughts and focus on a single point. Like your breast weren't go object or single word. I use my breath. I think you do as well Jonathan as a product. and then, when you notice your mind going too places you can simply say the word thinking or I'm back just bring yourself back into the moment, the more times we do this. We actually build our self regulation. Muscle our capacity to override are knee jerk off answers
so that when you are out about for a walk when you're with your kids, when you are Trying to focus in your mind is out of control. You can bring yourself back to the present moment in a more powerful way, I love that it has been such a central part of my life and has helped me through so many stressful. We know, is an arm and become something. That's also just made me so much more aware- and my experience of the practice is a stranger scales. One is focusing attention to his what's new known as been monitoring just be more present, unaware of what actually happening to and around you in the moment, and the third is dropping and that's what you were talking about. No, you start to become aware of all the author of the huge volume of things that you start to spend in your head and, as you can more aware that it gives you the ability to realise it. That's what you're doing then choose
let it go and shoe to let it go to keep dropping, dropping and dropping it until it becomes more and more of an item. Process, which has been a just usually helpful for me and again. We won't you as well nothing here as a mention We will include in the show notes are linked to where you can get more resources for all of these twenty tool, so so many great ways to drop in a practice. I have also found out one more add here. That will be one to last to that. For me, The people who are beginning a mind from this practice that, like a guy, did mine from this practice, tends to be a much he's your way to access it, and there are so many different ways to do that now. So here let me actually I'd onto that went before we move on one of the cool thing. can do away, is definitely having died in mind from this practice. There's lots of them. You can download I had a lot of success with recording my own and listening to my own voice through a mindfulness practice, because when your listening to something when your mind wanderers, it's nice
have something to come back to, and I've had a number of clients as well find that they can drop into a greater sense mindfulness, just by recording themselves and listening to it, because your mind It chatters in your own voice, so hearing your own way, can actually help with the process that really you said it chasm, I'm thinking that in the studio now averting six years, or so, we give our guests the option of where we are recording remotely now Let me offer a window of time, but nor must always been in the studio and I we were headphones because I have to monitor the sound, but we give our guests. The option of wearing them or not people love it because it was the sound of their voice in their head and some people here it for a heartbeat and then almost rip off. Because I can't stand the sound of their voice in their own areas, so experiment you may like
if you're, going to have a preference, and it may be really strong one way and really strong the other way, but I think the the the the bigger invitation is is to experiment the cyrillic, whatever especially so, let's start during a full circle here we ve got two left number nine of the mental rules. Is five senses announce taught me about this. Yes, this is one of my absolute favorite ways to teach people how to do. Been to the moment so often here. The word mindfulness in it seem sort of an esoteric or spiritual, and now mindfulness is being brought into schools into organization. So it's gotten away. More scientific, especially as more research, is supported it, but people can still kind of make a big to do at its like. How do I do this thing called mindfulness when you think about it? It's dropping into the most and the easiest way to do it is to ask yourself what do I see? What do I hear what do I smell? What do I taste and what do I touch?
When you are in your senses, you are instantaneously in the moment? So and I find myself having a lot of mine chatter and I'm feeling really anxious in my mind- is kind of going rabbit and then, let's say I'm walking down the street and I just can't focus because, if scott thoughts all over the place, I will start thinking to myself. Where do I see a discharge to take it all in and just name things I see, right now I see computer. I see microphone. I see computer stand, I'm just really that that drops me into the moment I'll, ask myself: what do I smell? What do I hear you your senses as the simplest way to drop into the moment? could do this if you're doing mindfulness meditation as a practice tuning into your senses. It's a nice way to drop in, but it's a powerful way to take from this out of the cushion and into the world asking yourself. These questions helps us
the process, the same way that if you're trying to savour let's say you're saying I want to savour a meal, you can ask, what do I smell? What are the flavors that I'm I'm reaching for when I, engage in my coffee drinking meditation. I try to make the first sip as sensual as I can, and I asked my What am I smelling? What's the temperature of the cup when we inter senses that instantaneously drops us into the moment another variation, it's kind of the same technique and I was trying to say eleven in here: Jonathan I'm not gonna lie. I know you made me cut content, and I put these together is a sneaky. Waited is get another one cause. This one is just so good. So we, fine mindfulness. As a non judge, mental open hearted awareness of what's happening at the moment, when our mind is in this anxious place, we can drop into them now and combat anxiety by point
and naming- and sometimes if you're doing this by yourself, you can point and people won't think you're crazy if you're in new york, city and europe about who you can point and walk around and people will think you're crazy parts of the world. Maybe you don't point of winter when you're doing this, but it's the poor says of naming wait you see as just than now, and not the adjective So you train yourself by taking the adjective out the descriptor out, you're just focus on what is around you and what you're noticing- and this is a trick. It's a brain hack that I give to me of my clients and many of my students, as it quick way to drop into the moment, and I My favorite waste knows if ever gotten from a client was at a fast pace, york, city, walking, voicemail and my kinds kind of out of breath and she's got Amelia. I mean
I had the worst day at work today and I I was. I left the office and I remembered what you said and I just started walking down the street, and I knew I needed to calm my thoughts down because I thought I was gonna, like jump out of the window, be as my boss, who's driving me crazy and I just its name. What I saw and I usually tell my client do this for at least three blocks and you will find you'll feel better she's like and it worked, I'm walking. The street and am going person traffic, a car hot dog stand. And she said- and she gives in the things that she needs and she's like, and I feel so much better and and the excitement that she felt was now just the fact that she was no longer anxious in ruminating truly The excitement that she felt was that she realized she could take control of her own brain prior. You're being taught these skills. We think are thoughts just happen to us and the best could do- is just not be buried under by them, but when
He actually start to put these skills into practice. You realize thoughts or just thoughts and they're, not that serious and sometimes they are serious and you have to learn to tell the difference, but this process of just aiming what you see and not even saying you know pretty sure, You can just say: shirt gets you training yourself to be in the moment and it focus. Is your mind in a way that is a simple exercise and when you re director, What's your actually calming that stress response, I love that and I love how you snuck into diner sad understood and make it all the way home, which is actually, Because I can't go through in the last one here which will call ten point: five, which did the same I call certainty, anchors and am, and it was observation that I had a decade ago, one hour's researching a book that I rode uncertainty about how people seem to be able to.
The state, in a certain amount of calm equanimity in the face of law, term high stakes, uncertainty where there was no way to change the circumstances they just had to live in it to be able to function and be created and problem solved and not get completely crushed by the nature of the text. and what I noticed. That was at pretty consistently there's a pattern where the meat the people who were able to do this. Actually they created Huge amount of ritual is asian, but not in the work. Not only that area where they would he now fly without a tether bud all this relate the mundane ever departure. There lies so they would eat the exact same thing for breakfast every day they would wear the same shirt, the same clothes they would he no good the same place at the same time they were there huge amount of all. The things that any up busily opportunity that they had in their lives.
to have something happen on a consistent daily basis no matter what else was going on. No matter what the source of high level uncertainty was. these things would still happen. You know there wasn't linked to those things they would make them ritual ized so that they would just automatically happen every single day, and I realize what there are actually doing was they were dropping? What Call these certainty, angers, dear creating moments throughout every single day they knew something that was grounded, that certain where they could touchstone and find a moment apiece. Those will always be there at all them a certain amount of stillness of anonymity in the context of a much bigger life that was very often perpetually. on tethered and groundless and highly uncertain with high stakes, and that that really help them can be oak. In the world and when I realized was that I had looked at this in the context of
very often high stakes high scale, creative orange withdrawal endeavours, but it really is of abroad, gale set in the context of an uncertain, This well, I'm I'm curious weather You seen this, whether you have experienced it and if you haven't curse where they have any insights into. Why it? My work absolutely This is I love how you call it a certainty anchor, because what it's doing that anchors do as they ground us. They plug a sin. They tunis anne and we. As human beings are wired, with a need for autonomy or a need for control, and in a time of k, ass uncertainty and unknown control. The things that you can not at the point where you're a o c d about it, but but taking a firm enough grip on things that you can begin to put into place and create structure. Is such an important thing to can in the chaos and I introduced
to my my passion for positive psychology in my body, medicine, I've spent over a decade in the fullest. awful study of tom and tolerance, Essentially, the weaving of masculine, feminine energy, and we can talk about this. Pole already the fact that everything in life has a yin and a yang great, so the yen the feminine energy and the yang as the masculine energy. All that is yin and feminine is stuff. That is always changing and all is Yang and masculine are things that are constant and certain and care ass nature up people change, and anything. It's mercurial is feminine energy and to them we are in power from an energy right now, in this place of uncertainty, the man skill in energy is all about that witches, unwavering that which is not changing, and we all
turned to time and space as them skill in energy. And so I do a lot of certainty anchors and one of my teachers from tantric philosophy is David data and he and I have for the past week, I've heard David's voice in my head a lot: David has the saying where you says, find the walls and feel the floor and and died that idea of feeling the fact that there are walls around you. You are safe, there's a container around you. What is the thing that very certain in this world gan. It's not the guaranteed cause you can go up into outer space and then you lose it. But grab certain feel the floor. Underneath you feel that you are anchored field mother earth underneath you. So these are types of things that can help centre. anchor and ground us, and so I love that you talk about the behavioral patterns that we can put in that way begin to have control and
have certainty in an uncertain world, and there too times swear if I'm in a place of stress, Worry I little say to myself: Amelia feel walls feel that there is structured around you. There are strong things protecting. You Amelia feel the girl. And underneath your feet or feel that whatever you're sitting on right now has something that eventually connects you to the earth and those are powerful things too. round, especially in this time of chaos, where many of us are grounded. So, if you're, if you're Then you have to stay in not being punished, but you are being grounded then ground during these times finest two anchors, the lover. I love every frame on at two arms helpful for me to understand it, so we have moved through server and a description. what we're feeling when we're feeling anxiety to understand, when its appropriate to use
Anyone ivorian combination, the ten body wars, and also the ten mental towards the sometimes, when you get him use em in combination in ways that work best. So this is incredible. I have learned so much. I hope you listening have found this. I know this was a super It was very in depth and kind of long episode, but we did it because we wanted to really go deep and get practical and gives useful tools to start navigating all this and start to work with them to find ways to be better, in the world and in whatever circumstances come your way any sort of parting thought before we bring this all the way home, just that
we are. I shall speak about myself am sending you all so much love and so much self care and self compassion and patience during this time and to reach out. If you need some, for it, and I am happy to connect with any one that has any questions about these tools or if I can be a resource in any way. Just know that I'm here, I'm grounded disdain, grounded and happy to be of service? the people are organizations out there that are meeting to be resilient during this time. The thank you so much. This has been incredible, as I mentioned before. Be shortages show notes, there will be a link either to a document or a page somewhere. That has full listings of all the the twenty different tools and skills, resources so that you can review them, store to figure out what you might wanna start to work with our explore and also learn more about the different things so excited to be able to share this with you
is everybody. Thank you so much for listening, and thanks also to our fantastic sponsors, who help make this show possible. You can check them out in the links we have included in today's show notes and while you're at it, if you've ever asked yourself. What should I do with my life? We have created a really cool online assessment that will help you discover the source code for the work that you're here to do. You can find it at sparc, a type dot com, that's s, p, a r K, e t, Y p e dot com or just click, the link in the show notes, and, of course, if you haven't already done so be sure to click on the subscribe button in your listening app. So you never miss an episode and then share share the love. If there's something that you've heard in this episode, that you would love to turn into a conversation, share it with people and have that conversation, because when ideas become conversations that lead to action, that's when real change takes hold, see you next time
Transcript generated on 2023-06-24.