« Good Life Project

Matthew McConaughey | Just Keep Livin'

2020-11-25 | 🔗

Five days into filming his first movie - Dazed & Confused - some 28 years ago, Matthew McConaughey’s dad, a towering force in his life, suddenly died. Matthew had to figure out a way to keep showing up, to keep going. His mantra became “just keep livin,” which has become a guiding ethos, a sort of lens through which he lives his life.

Now, nearly three decades later, an Academy Award-winning actor, icon in the industry, married father of three, a master raconteur, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and endless creator of moments and adventures, Matthew lives life as an eternal amateur. Fiercely himself in all parts of life, ever-curious and open, he seeks experiences, wisdom, and insights, always learning, always asking, always seeking, that give him some semblance of understanding what makes life worth living. 

Much of his journey, his take on life, fatherhood, acting, love, family and contribution is offered up in his beautiful and moving new memoir, Greenlights (https://greenlights.com/). It’s a philosophical and poetic window into the experiences and moments that shaped him and continue to awaken him to what matters most, drawn from 50 years of living, and some 36 years of diaries.

That quest - to figure what a life well-lived looks like - is one we both have in common, and it’s probably why in today’s conversation we jump into the deep end of the pool fast, exploring everything from nature and solitude to family, love, struggle, character, uncertainty, creation, the sacred nature of being in the spaces in between devastation and wild success, how the moment we’re all in has shifted his thinking and what the future we all being called to co-create might look like, and so much more.

That’s what you’ll hear. But here’s what was happening that you couldn’t see. As we spoke, Matthew sat at his desk, reading glasses on, and pen and paper in hand. Minutes into the conversation, he began writing, taking notes, regularly jotting down ideas, phrases, and insights, piecing together puzzles in real-time. Ever the seeker, a perpetual student of life, present in the moment, and open to whatever it might bring.

You can find Matthew McConaughey at: Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/officiallymcconaughey/)


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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The so five days into filming his first movie dazed and confused some twenty years ago, Matthew mcconaughey his dad. The towering voice in his life suddenly died and Matthew had to figure out a way to just keep showing up and keep going, and his monster became just keep linen, which has become a bit of a guiding ethos, a sort of wines through which he sees and lives his life now, nearly three decades later, an academy award winning other an icon. It
industry married father, three, a master, reckoned tour, entrepreneur, philanthropists and canada, endless creator of moments and Adventures- Matthew lives life as an eternal seeker, an amateur fiercely himself in in all parts of life ever curious and open. He seeks experiences and wisdom and insights, always learning always asking really trying to figure out some semblance of what makes life worth living. What makes a good much of his journey his take on life fatherhood acting love, family contribution is offered up in a really beautiful, moving new memoir green lights. It's a philosophical and poetic window in the experiences and moments that shaped him and continue to awaken him to what matters most drawn fifty years of living and some thirty six years of diaries that quest
to figure out what a life well lived looks like is one that we both having common in its probably why, in today's conversation, we jump into the deep into the pool really fast. exploring everything from nature and solitude to family, love, struggle, character, uncertainty, creation, the sacred nature of being in those spaces between devastation and wild success, and how the moment that we're all in has shifted his thinking and maybe what the future were all being called to. Co create might look like and so much more that's what you'll hear in today's conversation, but here What was happening that you couldn't see, as we spoke Matthew, sat at his desk reading glasses on an pendant paper in hand and minutes into the conversation had been writing taking notes
regularly jotted down ideas and phrases and insights. Piecing together, puzzles in real time ever the seeker, a perpetual student of life present in the moment and open to whatever it might bring simply observing. This was a really powerful signal to me of the way that he approaches every interaction with every being at he meets along the way so excited to share this conversation with you on jobs,. fields, and this is good life project. Not yet global private aviation leader, is known for personalizing every detail of your travels because net, yet standard is not just meet their definition of perfection. It's to exceed yours, discover more at net jets, dot, com
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standing out in the middle of nowhere like ink blacks, guys that store suggest driven into the ground. And their shooting stars can I got across You in my right ear, half reaching half talons stories and I'm just guessing it myself. This is an interesting moment. My go to places always been nature It's where I took stone and it seems like you know, for you there's something kind of magical about the combination of nature and solitude, also yeah. I, like that term issues over the edge where I touch stone. You said I like that I'll steal that, but a footnote you, that noise Yeah me for me: I'm gonna, destroy it always gonna, be measured.
I'm sam in l, a I'm in new york and I'm working and I'm hammered, thinks I'm worth mm pellet and the day to day have got a lot of responsibilities. I'm good at doing that, but all of a sudden, when I find is I'll go I'll, get ahead of time Meaning air, although like it is, it is yeah six o'clock, yet it's four twenty two, ah cheeks will slow down so that astronomers are, if I go click off of, I can check out to have my time in nature or be outside and get back with the rhythm that outside of my verde, ITALY stacked responsibilities, and I am comeback guys it. What is it phil? I bet you to about nine three fifteen and I look at their mark o'clock and I don't wear a watch or look at the phone as three seventy from america. Okay, I like a minute or two behind it. Actually is my favorite spot, be just a hair.
I'd like that, like a great drama like these, but the general was on that that that worthy these Easily on jars, just on the backside of of the two not on the front side of the wave just on the back side of the way, and then I find that things all that vertically stacked responsibilities that I'm feeling like accomplished his accomplice knocked down, you know run on reserve, lays down and becomes lateral in front of me atlanta. I could see it and all of a sudden, instead of the proverbial weight on the shoulders of that large stack, there's no weight on the shoulder cause. Now it's out in front of me- and I can see one at a time- can hop from really badly but get just as much done or more with a lot. Less stress after initial nature gives me back that clock. A thing for me yeah now I love a man. There really resonates also us out They can, interestingly gino this moment in time, where the rain
not just speed, but acceleration of everything. As just me like, boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. It feels like the way that most people are trying to quote. Keep up with that keep their head above water hold on for dear life is to accommodate it by trying to develop the skill of moving faster right and it's interesting because for me, what I've been really thinking about lately and tennessee is similar to what you just described. His will may be the better way to handle this is actually late to cultivate. The practice that allow you to slow down time and discern what really nurse were alone in china. They take it all in and keep up with. Everything you will There I mean our bandwidth, we deathly, but we do a definite song universally agreed on governor
shifter or or are a dream to sift out aloud needless frequencies or the did the non constructive frequencies to make room for a clear channel for the stuff. Matters as for dollar ashore, and maybe that do you know by processor elimination by process would make room for that is that that there really do mac, that our successful that you can do. You know how to make a living with this well, but also feeding, We will make sure that those bandwidth too to be deeper and wider and have more of it robots, you know in their transference to and from us and when they get us even more than autobahn. Smart nugget heart. That's another all frequency. I mean just a march sifting through, I think, said what what what matters, what does it and what's that governor.
for society and forces adventures his o this actually matter. I sometimes think that society is gone too. Now where they actually see most of news frequencies that they are the sort of like I'm. Take it too seriously. Maybe I can come for, like a man you dont, namely that there cannot be like size behind the reich, almost weakened gonna, do we know it's all soft porn, we're gonna get at it. If it were, we know it's all tipsy I mean this, although even eat. I even believe it think about that with politics itself is everyone? Can I get it to get the G8, and is that a good thing that things that we had reverence for courtrooms that were never. We were never allowed in. You know leadership positions that were bought What were there in that place on top of that hill? That now he will be like? Oh yeah, we've been in there. What do you mean the supreme court? I watched as duty.
jack would get us have. We have we certainly we didn't at all like it's all of walmart shop. There's like someone tween judge duty and the supreme court. There is truth rife. on any given ray, it's not like it's always where and when I got a job judy has lay handed as mysterious suits and in her I've heard, I've heard that averted the people that follow. Are that you that you know that said that say that but she had there. it's interesting? You use that line audubon from your head to your heart, yeah like trying to figure out. What's what how to open the channel? How to stop know how to find what's blocking it. I get the sense. Said a lot of people, don't even know that that channel exists like that, I feel. Is there so much living from the net that happens and certainly battle, overtaken valley, the faster we go I feel like the more we default to the head. We realise that the heart is there and matters. Let alone understand that
is a channel that exist. That is, is even worthy of focusing on opening the I mean add on a metaphorically, less call for me anyway. It's fair I'll call that my head the eye and the heart the way achievement compassion, thought belief. So I mean that seems to be the place as I caught the honey hole that the the sugar shack that the sweet spot of Evolution for ourselves and for all of us, I think, where those decisions that we make the choices we make the activities we make each day that actually, I think, are the most selfish and the most self less. At the same time, College term, which is in the work, is the egotistical utilitarian. I'm Abby I'm sitting here too and thirty years they're gone. I still like that. I still like people go. What the hell is that and I go, I love explaining. What that is
in the very literal. But I remember coming up with that that twenty one years olds gone like that, and that seems to be the greatest challenge of where those. Just go to the girl is dude and do that in the past, that I know I'm not big historian at sea, to be what they were tapping into the is again break it down those contradictions. An interim rim reveal that that that overlap with a paradox. Not being or not being compromised. being a loss of self when you were self less, is actually was again of self that reciprocity between the two that seem to be seen to be the place yeah. Well I mean especially if he, if you view us, as so many of the great philosophers, have viewed that there is no true delineation between the capital, less self us right and everybody else else out there like. If you look at it that if you come to it from a theory of one is not everybody does then
It makes you really reflect on both. What are you doing tonight? harm and what are you doing to tunisia, because, even if yourself wish, if you see yourself as being one with other people, if you cause harm to other people than you are by definition, causing harm to yourself yeah? So interesting frame to kind of bring to that well and even even on a a non mystical level, I would say on a practical level, if I wanna lie, cheat and steal from you right now, hey I'm talking to Jonathan right now, I'll have him for an hour so guys that stand to go. Rob's ass! I got him on camera comics. She didn't leave whatever baba and yes selfish for me, that is the thief, ran the robber right and got what I want. I need a new stereo channels, get great stereo heard about the contest area, but now
I also want to, but now from now on, when I walk out that door or I'll go my shoulder, I've left now left crumbs. I have to go next. I'm gonna grown up Jesus to the a butte next week Jonathan's there, oh shit when and I'm not going to go there, I'm going to nook going to go to new york. Oh that's! Actually where he is staying hotel he's in this neighborhood. I bet he's going to be looking. I'm looking over my shoulders now buying my time and purchasing time and my my time in my future and you know the future compounding asset. I've got some I've got reasons stress in my future. I created yellow lights in future because I'm looking around gone I'll job and in here or there in that I, like you, didn't stole from its at this gala ball or dinner in the restaurant
and I gotta go and people are you okay, new gun, yet I'll, be right back, I'm an object of stole. So what was the more selfish act? I would say the more selfish act was to act in a way where I don't have to look over my shoulder to see if Jonathan's air, because he's was to get his stolen stuff pack I am what creates more freedom and in which kinder to my future self, and I think that that is a. I use it with our kids a lot, but it has a lot to do with delayed gratification has to do with tea and ourself off for going, and I am not a I'm, not a- what do you call a hoarder? You know not like a hoarder I don't want to. I don't want to die with the most toys and go see that was delayed. Gratification. Look at my look at what I, after a while I like to live. I liked it highlighted it. Cake went around me the way there's a choice. There were there's a man, I'm not gonna go into the word. Moderation did. It sounds great regressive to me, but there's a way,
It's a choice there. Where were like, oh for the eye and for the wait for the now and for tomorrow yeah I mean it's it's interesting right because there, it's kind of like saying you know the the the most ready path to personal freedom is generosity. In compassion and a little counter intuitive. But then, when you think about it, the way you just laid it out actually like he played out in terms of how it will affect you if you were the opposite and that becomes a cage, not freedom, but so many of us don't. Actually in that way. Why do you think is it? Is it? Is it a? Is it a block to art to the the distance in our future that we're comfortable engaging with I mean it? You know I get it we're in a pandemic. I'm trying to look at this like we're in it for the next Three years was probably gonna be shorter than that, but because I'm thinking about it being three years down the road I've tapped in them.
survival energy and slowed down my pace. I'm in here for the long run, the tourists is gonna win the zinc and I'm gonna get tapped on the shoulder Internet. You can go reengage before three years and I'm gonna look up the oh, no, I can keep going now. I understand it's very hard for ce for someone, everyone to think that far as woah woah woah, I could think to the end of the week. Man Yeah I mean- or I can take to tomorrow- you know some people. You know when I try, to end. I cannot always is to go to the eulogy, I think back We have these little chapters along the way that I understand heart how it can be very hard for people to project into the future and still feel tactile. I guess with it yeah. I know it's such a fascinating. Quite some. I thought a lot about actually lately and down his nearly aphorism a bird in the hand right which is kind of the same thing but
senses it's actually about, and I'm curious what you think about this too. It's kind of a blend of two things, one as a fierce discomfort with uncertainty that makes us want to lock down whatever it is as latin animal immediately, because we don't know what the future hold yet bundled with an assumption of scarcity, vs abundance, which in some cases is entirely true, at least in the short term, and a lack of autonomy and competence to change that equation, that this scarcity and abundance equation. So it's like you know, if we're sitting here in a place of fierce uncertainty, we haven't cultivated the practices and the skills to allow us to breathe into it and know that this is an arrogant end. It may feel worse now, but this is the perpetual state of being
Then we assume you know that the immediate universe is scarce and not abundant, and we will never have a massive change that will then we're kind of screwed, and then we become entirely about like self oriented and it's it's a a life of grasping which, like goes back to what you were saying before, that is not freedom. It may be accumulation. That is not freedom. No, he said to the uncertainty in. I guess how worst bartleby uncertainty. And believing that that do what's out there is is scarce that it it's it's true stresses now. You know that goes back, go start off talk at that time. race against time. I try to have done enough. Time is on your side in trust, I dance with time beach it on that drumbeat just on time or from a slightly behind time.
When I'm doing I'm seeing time is, are abundant gift, its full allow, when I'm understand time my timeline going back around the book. Look at fifty years of my life I have My feet or more firmly on the ground and I'm dancing better with time because I understand, will clearly the song that, I've been seeing in her husband song to get and where I am in it now I have no, I don't where the next song, where the sun goes from your still like jazz, still play, but I understand what with averaged out the album sounds like you're not going to this point I am able to be a little more, maybe a little more present with that's the right word. I think that
it is. You know is seeing the world as abundant means. That is that really, even if, even if, how is that valuable, even if the drawl yeah- and I think it is such a great question against something I reflect on a lot and and to me, I think the value of that is that it gives us permission to act from a place of compassion and generosity, because really we we don't work on the assumption that if I don't take what's what's there immediately right, it will never be there again, I have to amass have grasped the hawk right and that, like, like you said you, ok, maybe you and die with the greatest amount of stuff, but who cares if not life? What lip right yeah yet realizing that that is the life that we inciting tell you yes, he that's what we give the blue ribbon for us accumulate the most.
You now have more filipino have or in that bandwidth we were talking about we're, not talking about the thickness of the depth of 'em. Yet we're not talking about how wide just the sheer numbers quantity over quality. Sheer numbers weighs what we what we clawed its way into it. We we've been taught to say that's the winner, that's the yeah. That's the rub, ain't right! There's what do we value and what we want to put value when do we need to rearranged at ladder of what we give our gold medals for what we give our out of always respect
what we say. Yes, that success in life, the definition of that changed over the years and we're sort of taught I'd, say I think it's fair to say, especially in american in the west, because we're taught that you know where the money and the fame that's it. Bravo you get the front row seat yet you gotta come off freebie to run the line. You got it! Ah, there's some! You know, there's the people that observed it front the line with a lot of money and some fame and I've been that person before that was like nah. I am right now and don't deserve to be at the front of the line, and I like money and have money now, unlike fake but
I'm not I'm not I'm not doing my best. If that's, if that's the top of my ladder of what I'm aiming to get and achieve yeah, I mean, if that's the metric, then things get screwy. It's interesting we're at as we sit here recording having this conversation
it's actually I'm a snowboarder and am is snowboarding at it with my daughter for years and years and years, and it is a year to the day of the the death of Jake Burton carpenter, who started Burton snowboards and effectively built the entire built snowboarding from nothing wrong with his wife, donna and and and our three kids and- and I was reflecting on it and- and I saw tribute to him this morning and here's a here's, a guy who has lived, I mean lived, drenched every just absolutely every part of life and his and everything he showed up to do. He has built an astonishing company, built it with his wife. You know and there's a handwritten note in the tribute where his kind of writing that is hanging at a bald faced lodge going out for powder day with his wife and his three kids and he's like
this is ed. This is it man right there isn't a yea. I am an icon in an industry. I built a stunning company, but damned if, like hanging out with my wife or three kids on a powder day, isn't the best thing in the world right right. It is that was that story. Young men seek one around the world seeking out prophets teachers, the meaning of life. What is it? What is it? What is it? Well enough? you gotta that the father his new born in born, why couldn't he asked
If we talk about silly question this, is it that's it? You know it's a good one, and yet sir yeah, I'm a I'm a big achiever. I love to achieve. I do need sort of goals to meet, feel a certain sense of significance and then, if I don't have those for awhile I'll, feel less significant and I'd have to go. Ask myself like what what what's with that have a little more fortitude to understand again that you've built something.
to get to this point to not have to be feel like you have to achieve or check this off your list every single day. Then again I go well. Parlor reason may be that the life you have that you you do like to achieve. Unfortunately, you've put some things in front of you that you, you are healthy achievements. Many do and to hark back to, I think you mentioned it. We were talking about a little bit with the abundance minute ago and this process that Burton's talking about in the process is what's making this dog unhappy on the powder doing what he's built this company to offer people to do more of that we have. You says that we did we don't land, there's not we don't get to the Tada moment. We don't get to the off. I reached the pinnacle, I'm at the peak now. What do I do? There's not even any sort of aren't the right words ambition with any any of your own
you're moving forward in the verb as anything we think of life as a verb, not a noun, and we all want the result. Emmy the result- and I know- and I haven't chased and I go between this hour- add headlines and write, destroy towards them. I'll, also jump off the cliff and try to figure out how to fly on the way down and I've succeeded and failed and both in both us. But I go back and forth between those two, but I I can easily say I've gotten a lot. More results, but what I wanted when I had my head down the process when I was just hammered and doing do in the de on, and so I ask him up goes you did it? My dear boy, oh, I was absent
What's fun surfing on, there is a snowboarding on the mountain, with my with with my family, and with that you were doing it, you were doing it. Oh was yeah whatever that mountain is for for for each of us, but hey we can avoid wigan feel like and understand that again that a little bit better, a little bit more towards what it is, who we are little more true. If, if we don't like the word better, that's as good as it gets that if ringer that's what I take pleasure in that, I don't need that. uncertain good, what were at achieving on the way to the unachievable- maybe that's a better way put it and they said do that for myself to join this guy
okay, you're you're, not you're, actually not you're not going to get to a final achievement, but keep achieving on the way to just admit that it's enough you're on the way to the unachievable, and if I can clip onto that, then I'm gone off. Okay, if that's as good as it gets. That's when I'm, I think enough for me happier in truth. I think that that is applicable in many different ways. for free, jealous yeah. Now so great, I think sometimes I wonder whether the The true value of vision is just said. It gives you direction, ryan. It allows you to invest in it linear way, whether reach it are not safe. Like you're moving towards something and that its debt feeling, you know
having some sense of direction. That alone, the hour for like his is deeply rewarding. Yo gives us a sense of purpose. I wake up in the morning he now the japanese color guy. We had a reason to get out of bed. Yes, no, maybe I hit it made it out, but the fat They can wake up every day and say like I have a sense of direction. I know where to place my energy, says like it makes that day, better the true value of visions and it gives us direction. Yes, thank you, I'm right a road that down. That's! That's! That's see: that's that's another way. I voice called it hey. You know Let me now I want to know if I'm going, I highly dream. I know if I'm going north south east to west, but did not much more. that gimme sixteen lanes and let me swerve, but it's lot because even get off the field. You'd after its fine cause, you still headed the same direction as long as I look up and accomplices in that general direction than great, but
when it does it define it down to be, nothing is it has a proverbial flag in the sand. That still has a sort of a finish line, but it's just kind of out there as long as we don't look up and go. Oh my gosh, actually go in the wrong way. On the twenty four mile bridge, cause. I turn around. Oh, if it as long as it's just in the general direction, then we can then there's the play, then there's and then there's the that's it that's the ride. That's that's the doing at swimwear with a twin, were we it there met yet global private aviation leader is known for personalizing. Every detail of your travels because not yet standard is not just meet their definition of perfection. It's to exceed yours discover more at net jets, dot com, the
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in accomplishing or being in accomplishing right end and that the division gives the being a sense of purpose. Even if you don't accomplish that thing, I'm out of here, you know I'm a famous tibetan buddhist teacher choked him tramper is no longer with us and I'm gonna butcher that the teaching, but he effectively said bad news. Is your falling nothing to hold onto nothing to grasp onto the good news? Is there is no ground? Ah cool? You know any free, buddies. if we can surrender their that's good years, beg you here. They are
yeah between a laugh at a tear right is there. It is ah yeah man how far forward, how far out there in the future too, we need to projector to realize it. Maybe he could say metaphorically well, yet the falling means yet on the way to death. It's all fall when they were born. However, many how many minutes were here- and there is no bottom here that ago, if you're in any kind of believer of impermanence well, even this check out from this life, that was, he did mediate bottom, They are still in the ground whose keep going now and then and then in my mind, ass it they're gonna, and how much is it what? What chapter of my follow man right now in this life is just an earth
the chapter and a long long barbers later in the chapters than they never any work now, but I mean it imagine if you can wrap your head around that way. What it gives you, the ability do is effectively refrain the fall as the rise refrain in the fall. Is that right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, in in in in it and if it, if it, if you have trouble doing that, just instead of fallen feet, first, just turn yourself over and tourist into a dive. That's a search! you're looking at it upside down either. I'm all for those kind of little tricks to your face, but I mean is, is can interesting right because you know if you want the things and know that you know that you write about your backyard, there's a moment where your dad tells you that sounds like a bunch moments where you that basically says yellow what don't have. As you know, it happened when you take, I won't be a lawyer allotted to go film school and he's like what don't have asset and it's kind of saying that kind of if you're in you're, all in
it seems like that is a broader philosophy that you really should really become part of your life, love listlessness, the sun, trying to unpack this with the basic and even if the times where we don't believe that or feel that we're wrangling with that is there what about the worth of just going well hazard the alternative sucks. I can just buy again process of elimination about it. We don't know exactly who we are. We don't have concept of that and we're not in the right but what them you safely, don't feel like the world is abundant were not build. The future holds abundant. Well, what's the alternative? If I go there were it's all anarchy, it's all for not the world scarce living and uncertainty and I'm Can I say that's why it's bear offer not man.
I don't even want to. I don't even know where to go the next part of that story, unlike all of them. What I feel like it's a cop out yeah I mean your world becomes safe, yet. and it's not even safe, because what it becomes is safe from the perceived. True sense of the outside world, but you're completely subject to your own internal. grasping spin, been sorrow, grief because that entire time, your grieving, the lack of access to everything that you have inadvertently excluded with just possibility? Love inaction, generosity, adventure, all these things in the name of safety and shape
it. Is it and to see that you know where you think safety might be the rise, it's actually the inversion of the other. It's actually the fall that yeah yeah. I. oh, I like that. I live like that, really like that that that point at analogy of the fall, if grass tat, then that is the right yeah you know to it. It can be a lot dulled told onto. But again I mean the very least maybe we should go with it. Just did if you don't get, it does just understand the alternative has know our ally. the alternatives on the altars. No fun we can go on and on about the alternative. It's just like. Do we want to wallow in that? I talk about it in a prat. Try to talk about it in a practical way with it. In the greenlight analogy of you know,
Sometimes will catch a green light and life because you know coming upon the yellow light, the thing that ooh this could be drawn. This could be a crisis. but if we slow down for too long, we rubberneck you know. And our lanes now going in all twenty five and ended in the sixty five, because we're looking at the the the the drama, the trick, the perceived tragedy over there on the other direction of traffic on the sudden written you will find yourself dwelling in a red light and making a mountain out of a verbal molehill and making a real crisis maybe something that we should have seen the yellow impressed on the gas and blown through What is it now learn that you're onto a green? Is I'm not going to give that crisis credit, because it didn't deserve credit that that that that
where you know, and we love to seek on to that of It- that which is short term. begin our ally without abundance, which is we seem, we see as abundance that safety for them safety. We all have gone today and says I am going to day the safety of going while at the camp raise me up, and I can't do anything that I can feel good about myself. For I'm going to at least put You down- and I put you down- I feel out well that short money, and we see that as a bandit. But I would even argue: that's not selfish it off or self sets its self destructive again is. It is it's short term things get off too and how we love sports teams. Fortunately, we love to applaud
You miss and shot, I feel better, suddenly, peoples, I can feel better about you miss in the shop than I can feel good about me. Make it that's. The math, doesn't add up. There's no women now, she saying if you lose all then. Means I didn't lose and somebody else who who failed. So I didn't I didn't gain in wine, but if someone else fail, her feel better about visa, but it's a short term than last time. That's the guy at the party that how's your round and tells the great joy on somebody at the party that you know he wouldn't tell. If the purse was there- and you laugh, then it was a good job not to scatter ravaged, for he was a long time It's tough, but then you walk away and you lost respect for him any he lost yourself because you actually laughed our short money
The star the moment, but I never trust a guy. It's the same joke on me and it's like he. You also. I think you inadvertently take from yourself this opportunity to feel what it feels like when you do. The right thing when you rise to your own best say that analogy of you know hoping somebody Mrs the shot, you know so that you win. You know it's a hollow win, even if, like the score says, you want, because if you, your winning simply as like? What is the score? The end of the game look at bright, but it you measure winning, as did I do What I showed up to do you like it was, I add my best, regardless of what this war was did I did. I prepares bryce hard ass. He could and then show up and give everything that I could and that person missing the shod or that person not being an equal partner, actually doesn't allow you to do that, so it actually like it harms you to a certain extent to wish that
I want to europe, and I want everybody else's, show that their absolute best right right and then and then no matter what the score shows at the end of the day, I want to be like steel, you absolutely brought it. I absolutely brought it this year is a good game. This real good, you know I always say in even developing characters and characters, obstacles and up positioned in and what is their resistance in scripts? Music quote. You know it's not really a risk less than those to fight cycle Ali frazier man, you know ali for her, no both her and let's both be in our best shape. Let's both be peep performing, and not have any body that
From the outside not have any rule, change does not have any goofy reverie calls pure competition, pure good confrontation, and then, let's, at the end, see where it ends up. We don't like that. We love to pick fights that were like wow jeez. Amidst it's it's it's it's ali vs, the right man, yet the door to the eyes, there's not really You haven't look, he's pounded him, oh yeah. He could do that with this. The large right on behind his back tablets but but but I'm one again like wow you're, not really picking fights, not that it really costs. You had a great teacher penny and was always like it's gonna cost you what it costs shit every decision choices she just gotta, make sure kasha not going to get 'em all but make sure which the cost to get it. I know for me if I, if I get something done, I
I like to kind of when I can work for myself and go for the pull it off. I can look in the mirror and go yep yeah. Let's do that. If I don't pull it off, I can look to the manga ear. You a lot to do with that, but at least I know face to face. It's the it's the it's the wonder, I'm not sure, and I go I'm not sure how it all happened or how he got here or how we won or how we lost in theirs. But I gotta call me- and I had a blind spot about how that happened at not as much fun. I don't sleep is, that night when or lost because of the limbo and, in the end, the in depth the blind spot as well. I don't understand how it happened, though, even on the failure side. I'd rather have a lot of times a fit. Oh you with understanding why, rather than a victory, not knowin how why there? That makes sense,
Oh ok I'll take some of those ones, I'm at a one hundred percent I'll just say it's good to have resistance, but not all day. Every day give me some reads here saturday that a flip flops, yes yeah, but but the whole idea of stakes right. I think this is so fascinating to me, because you know you take about the world that you inhabit. You know for a lot of your your working life, which is it the story. You know end and we, as the consumers have stories we love. The story exists between reality in expectation, right, we'd, love to see them grappling. We love to see that the protagonists and everybody in their having stakes bit. They ve got asking the game or we don't care The best stories are always where the stakes are high and we don't know how to that end. We must Summing blocks and movies and tvs
That let us certainly step into that world, but when were invited to be repaired agnes in the story of our own eyes, yes anew, and we have to make a decision about like whether to you like in vast, where they have stage were terrified of that. Yes, yes, well and in the end, then we think we want We want to be the kings of our own castle or the author of our own book or the hero in our own journey visas. She said If we think about what we love about art, we love to see the verb of the overcome me. It's no fun which dine is boring, jeez the stories over once we get to the overcame. We just went to see the overcome. If we see life it ourselves and are also in a constant state of trying to overcome you never get
spot we go. I had now I overcame it's all Hayes again back to the verb. It's it's the the fall without the floor. It's constant trying to overcome and we can see that and not get frustrating go. Why are landed yet others? If he said this note there still ground? Oh what? Oh, then this go without that that did you just keep turn the page. Keep right on the book keep fallen for long enough people do, you know for gravity, sank, hear you I I say this at this time this t shirt I'd made I love lou. I love making like you've, probably seen the bumper stickers, the book and it was a stick figure walking on the on a globally earth anderson it's all downhill. Actually, like
try dividend is all down hill had if Iraq as a world round another, what I said it did at the drying, sons always shut, and I will always companies like our that's that's that's it, to call out to weed out now is actually scientific facts if your above the clouds, the As always out so anyway, it makes its two ways of flippin a perceive fallen to arise. or seen, are perceived scarcity in abundance in which is actually which is actual there. There now telling every minute, I mean you get either a framework that you have yeah like red, yellow, green light. It's the core of your book. You know it's it's about sort of like having all the moments in circumstances drop and your life, or sometimes you create them in transforming something into something that it wasn't. It's an AL chemical process, men out and our second about those three different call them states like the red light state, the yellow light state, the green light state because we inhabit
one of them is right- and I am thinking to myself you- the aspiration is- is to turn it into a green light. Whether to read our yeah. But I'm thinking myself also ensures how you feel about this. There's something that there's some my head, which is saying the most sacred state, is not green and yellow. You know, because that that is this, the state of anticipation and possibility going both wait right. I write writing to slow down stop or you can run yeah yeah yeah, that's cool! That's the verb! Actually interesting cause. I've been talking about this over the last few weeks. I I you know, sort of criticism and new ideas start to crystallize and when I'm talking about greenlights is like
one thing is: it will live up to our dream, then were just fly and now how we were gonna. Do I guess we're gonna circles, there's no real! There's! No evolution
from I was raised by my mom to see life is one big greenlight mean resilient. Yeah fall down, hit the yellow the red get up dust yourself off. You run on that track. You step in the pothole yet get up and dust yourself or your comrade, but then, when I noticed in my early twenties that year in australia was like whoa wait a minute. I loved that mom's put that in and she's eighty eight still praxis, sir god bless her. She changed, you get a lick, but I'm like okay resilience has been such a great value for me. That's gotten me so much and I think we could all have more of it, because our bodies or minds or souls are much more. I think reserved than we give them credit for. But I notice, if you get up industry, if you step in the pothole in life and you get up and dust yourself off so quickly, move on you become a repeat offender, meaning you step in that damn panel every single time and to stop
go while I've done that and did that price euro or three times or four times or six thousand times or maybe you said dust myself off, I need to stop get up. Clint, look back at that puddle walk back! I know the other racers in the runners in the race are passing me up now for the first time, but let's go back and have a look where's that power turned the thing into blind spot track. Okay, have a look, do a little create a yellow light to go Let me have a pause in those that next time around you get that were out here, comes a bottle of sidestepping step around it, take another path, etc, etc, and then some evolution, a it's. It's also what can agree nice story: are we talking about wealth in their battery powered green light, We are talking about an earlier fame is a fleeting battery power dream. I did stare the shines bright, but it's gonna go down, but what are the solar powered green light?
Ones that are going to shine on further into that long view all the way to the future and are shining back or up and down, has and will continue to shine after we leave this life and boy can those be the ones that we seek and seeking those You're you're at your seat, you find the yellows and even a red, but you- hopefully it's in that in that yellow light that you that you come across, that you create for yourself at the right time. and or create that red light. When something you gotta go, I need a full stop. Man, I gotta eirik, completely recalibrate here but even making that choice area talk about is the young is in the yellow. I met there. There there's the auction, there's de there's, the audible, There's the at every moment got another decision here I mean To my mind, I was like is the sacred state right right here No, it's a we aspire to the enlightened stay. You know yeah, but then he like
lighten state aids, I'm done that made. It is not yet like you get up the morning, chaplet carry water. You know it's like these. no state. I mean in my mind. When are you a vanishing like when you pay, bag and you go out to the desert yearly cute, you, your stepping into the yellowstone your step into the sacred place. you? Don't know if you're gonna succeed or not, but the ingredients for a soup, you know that could is awful or orkut is awesome, are in pat with you and you're, actually saying I'm going to go there and see what happens yeah, that's where the magic is adding yeah, they're back to etc. The value of vision is that it gives direction. You know you've just that. You pack the stuff up so many times. You know it is it's a simple metaphor breasts, but I still like it is like. What's the hardest part about working out, putting your shoes on the title three times
It's about getting out of the door I was I was. I was too afraid to go, see what was in that treasure. Chest journals. and then also of a sudden and yes- and my wife gave me you know kick in the backside, packed him up. Put him in a car got my water, my bourbon and my beef and headed out before I was out of the driveway. I was well yeah fuck. That was all it's all. It was you said packet and you just had to pack up the car and put in shut the door pull out of the driveway. Oh it was. It was party time, and you know it was fine. It was exciting and go ahead. When I was going away to go, be packed, I didn't know what was going to be. You know, but yet you right just see pack up the backpack and whatever it is and head out. go find out. Yet that is that is yellow,
that yellow in that proverbial, yellow, constant, yellow therein lies a green light, yeah they're in a really past life. I was back in in the city as a personal trainer, and I used to meet my clients very often and we'd work out outside in central park in new york, and I used to meet this one guy like three or four times a week at six am to run now. You can't see the rest of my body. I am not a runner, but I did it because he I like that that that was my job, and this has gone on recover months and one day he shows up at six in the morning and my body hurts it's dreary and he jogs up and he starts
I can up and I'm like for scanner man. He a duty, go home right now. It's like the the only reason I pay. You is because I know that if I'm paying you ominously like wake up at five thirty five get my shoes on be miserable. Put a t, shirt on and go meet you because you like you're there for me, Right, but once on the here, I don't need you to good just me here tomorrow morning. Please make when I show up if it didn't show up for you. I'm good yeah I have my ah hm how many of those ama amateur of life is that right there? I don't want to do it, but I know after I do I'll be really happy. I did
should that have just overcoming that little resist not get at the door now go. Do it go lend that hand go spend that time with your kid now take off. Time goes to a go at that sit down with your wife cause your so busy in two and three days, or rather ten p m. You can check it out with each other for the first time. Yeah. I take that time to yourself. You know, none I'll, be fine. Nobby, but now go go. Take a take, a mosey that he didn't take little the little quiet time. Listen yeah yeah then they project is supported by name. So it's that time in the year were a lot of folk start to think about their fitness schools. Getting their bodies moving myself included, I actually recently started playing a lot more attention to how I was feeling my body and also really came to realize that I was carrying a lot of information in my body and potential disease risk in the form of way. So I will an intelligent and sustainable and supportive way to increase my health, lose the widen inflammation and just feel bad.
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that is sometimes a power of habit and ritual is on it it just there. You do certain it's kind of interesting a lot of what we've been talking about is being really intentional about the things that we do and be, president of the things that we do but in those moments like that, we were just talking about that's, I think a lot of times where women were it comes in where we actually. The be here at allows us to step in to actions that we perceive as being unpleasant, even though we know they're gonna make us feel better. I we do them. You know it's just that normal grooves, it's the repetition of shown up shown up, show not shown no longer becomes a conscious thought process. Yeah just happens and suit a minute fascinated by the question of unity.
Where is a line in life like? What do we do? What is it makes sense to put into the habit folder where it just becomes unconscious, and what is it? What is it makes sense to put into the intentional before we present and let it unfold? However, there and then I think it is a third bucket right, also ritual, which is at the things we do every day or every friday, night or every year, for you. I know you have a bad you practice before you eat meals. You know where it's like. You want to behaviour to happen habitually, but you want the experience of it to be. Intentional yeah? Would you say the habits come first and they create the intentionality and need to create it creates the ritual. I mean rituals hard.
You teach rhine, others rituals. I had that I'm brain tissue about because that to prayers before a prayer for luncheon and gratitude for lunch and gratitude for dinner egg. It brings a family together, it's it's! It's sharing a personal, each wanna go round the horn say one thing and it kind of brings us together it it it it a scattered day becomes less scattered for everybody. The communion How can we working very self involve, like you sit down here, may child say something there. Thank you forget that day and I listened at sea from their point of view, so I'm becoming more aware of the world around me and not just through my own prison, which I know is good for me: he'd selfishly, who feels good and it relax. It's me in the work I go back and do after that, because I thought of the
through my son's eyes because of what he said and gratitude at large. I'm having a better conversation with you here so to speak, or I'm seeing my work can be more creative with it or do you think, there's a or all three of those buckets dancing together. Do you think if you think, there's a governor in an aversion habit intention ritual yeah? I think, as she goes, it's a really interesting question right, my immediate my gut level responses, maybe the opposite actually started intention numb, and then you make a choice. What will then? Yes, you have to split out the behavioral pattern and then the your behavior, so the behavioral containers the habit. You know it
think the thing that I wrote to happen over and over, but then the actual behavior do I want it near like if I have to ritualistically drive everywhere I go, I'm going to be exhausted every time I get to the car. You know on that to be fairly habitual, I'm going back and forth on making the same commute every day for years. here. I am your brain, the isn't all conscious and that's a good thing, because it gets hyper efficient when you go into habit mode and it gives you the bandwidth, the juice. To really give it to the stuff that matters, the ritual and Andy. The novel starfish doesn't happen, I repeat a basis, but I think in the beginning, with its bad intentions like the church. Would imagine anyone choose because I have to choose. I have to discern what bucket I want to put different things into and then what near the third bucket is just neither of the two, but just I just want to be present in whatever novel things happening
What does that land with your sheriff yeah? No, I am I'm pr completely purchased at it. Yet, if im with you on intention, first cause even the intention to form good habits and become a slave to good habits is an intentional choice. What about you know here that our come you it's just that it is just what I gotta do but he's gotta go now worth more than what I do or I always do you know or I've had I feel like no. Actually I love him to make that I really worked for me cause I'm going to get some work done or the tunnel going. I know I'm actually not getting any work done. I'm going to listen to some great
music man, music. I don't have enough of my life now. I really want to get back to some great album or not. I've been listened to way too much music or listen to an audio book or something it's going to inspire me or feed me. It's going to be a bit of meditation on the drive to, and from and and I've had you know we do that ops and we look forward to that. Drive that and that drive has real intention
It's not just ho hum damn it. I got that hour and a half hour drive every day we make it. Can we make it really useful to feed us there now? I love that and- and I think, let's riff on the the exercise example that we're taught both of them different ways earlier also like most people, the example like a jar or or a run five miles. You like three days a week right and I don't do it because I love running, I do it because I just you know, I know it's good for me and it does all the yada yada rate and that repetition for most people, the behavioral container, for like I get my shoes on, I show up. I do a it becomes automatic, but then the actual yeah fifty minutes running most people spin out into all sorts of different things that they've listened to the audiobook. They listened to their songs, to distract them from how nasa, repetitive, the actual behaviour, as we should and gems all time right like what was it
we're seeing that happen when Jim started, trying to optimize revenue per square foot and they put in tons of treadmills and all sorts of other stuff. It's so monotonous and maniacal that the next biggest investment is. You know devices to distract you from that. You know, but what and like here's an interesting challenge right like what could you do with nothing outside of yourself to turn that exact same behavior or experience into something where you're hyper present? And it's nourishing you know, and so I know, people that run and the focus pretty. Intensively on their breath and on their steps and on the world around them, some steady drifting offer some place or instead of listen with your buds in that they never along with me. I they never won with anything. They want to be utterly present in the breath in the statement that therein as their own money, and I love you, but that is a practice. It doesn't come naturally for most people
no, no, no, no. I do know some of these people you're talking about and that rhythm of their breath in their sex become their music. That becomes their mechanism that becomes there. There click track. And how does it speed up near the hill and how does it slow down when you go down the hill? Where is it from the beginning, when you set the baseline to where you? get back five miles later. How much your heart rate gone up in the BP hymns sped up in your two I've. I've had practices that I didn't stick to him, for he could happen How are we going to placate myself? Isn't age or are you know, there's some sport game. One of the here in the background of sudden kind of enjoyed the fact that that hour was over a little quicker than I thought it was going to be
Yeah I mean look at baseline in a way? How much are we all were conscious or not part has been stripped back to our own facility, through this seven months of coven. I missed, you even know have it has gone on long enough for us to continue wherever healthy practice, we ve been forced to find a new habits. We ve been forced baby without attention just been forced to because winter was thrown on us, we didn't seek it came in may You know how much of that we take forward. As me, When we engage when we are told consensus, they weaken delegated, or do we snapper right back.
tat. We were and go up, who has done little blip, because we have been forced to do inventory, whether we realize or not. I think everybody. And that's a good thing, but will we I'm here is where we have all about it? Mr, whereas this time been, I've been a yell like her a red light in our in art and our yellow light of choice were our floor was moved like really move, not just shaken moved enough. We're collectively. We all get a lesson from this there. It's like that is. Is it an an act of reversion or progress right? It can go back to what we were talking about earlier when you're talking about resilience. You know it, it can be.
bit of a double edged sword. You know, are you reverting you or are you resilient because allows you to revert back to the way things were and get back to normal, or does the resilience move you forward into a new reality that you create? That is better, maybe not just for you, but for society at large yeah yeah death is it is. Can I have the same question? I think a lot of people do right now. and I know what I hope for Yeah year. Yeah, and you know what I it's it's the other questions is, and it's you'll know what I'm talking about, but in I don't mean because it's the Chris thing as time has been tragic for many, an awkward at least for all but is it has gone on long enough for us to learn. As you know, the sabbatical dependence the walk about day, the forced stripping of certain
certain necessities, the lack of all the options other frequencies that we could go and get Have we have we gone without the right things for long enough to actually go now and I'm just changed I made my value system has changed. My ladder has been re proportioned about where my values are an egg and come back to the lab, they never can say we got dance again, but I'm a different person. I see the world differ, I think is going to be select. I don't, I don't think we're going to do that as an overall collective. I think that's sort of a utopian sort of pipe dream, but. I didn't comes back to stakes, will document, or else you know as a new yorker we got hit. So Hard and so early years, nobody that I know you like in the europe that there wasn't sick, knew a lot of people who are sake and didn't lose somebody pretty quickly.
As the stakes for us like, we were touched in a way that now a lot of the rest of the country is getting touched it in, and I agree that it's really weird right for you to be saying, Has it gone on long enough and at the same time I understand what you say in that. If we are looking for yale a society scale, a fact that leads to an evolutionary impact that constructive and good and compassionate for everybody you know, like human nature, is really weird it rarely ever changes. He out us being brought in some way, shape or form. niece, I wish it was otherwise in this kind of what we're talking about you were pretty were pretty thick I can't raise in my hand, road map it because I'm gonna run in either as it begun personal, it's gonna become personal and ours. We dump
an honour for me. I sit here in a privileged position. You know my pantries full That was able to get my mom. She moved us for a visa. beyond this for seven months work in a place where the hibernation- pretty doggone luxurious unable to community with world. Do my work? Pay the rent through things, I'm doing remotely understand him sit in a privileged. Has it really become persona, for me. I don't I gazelle yama and put my end up doing up that's got really up to me I'll, see, we'll see you now you week. I dunno I mean I always thought like like isis as like. Ah nine, eleven, that's going to do it. That's but he was gonna break his heart gather. We finally got somebody like you know
first thing since hitler that we can all agree on bad guy. Yes, this is going to be inversely good for our society. It didn't really met some parades. We had some overall, you know as an entire country and even outside of those walls. It is as nations we we didn't. Really. I dunno I haven't seen it that we really came together, made some evolutionary change and overall I'm talking about as we as a collective. Obviously you know you meant something even different. Do is more person to you being there in new york and to new yorkers either in new york. It means more personal behalf, Nor was it to us, I thought I was can be caught something to be so personal to all americans that we were really going to quit. Looking at the mendacity of certain things were not command
should now we measure the people, know what I'm gonna matter. What checks? You are, what ratio or whatever hey we're in this together we got it, we got it. We ve got a band together here and make sure we handle ourselves more than revealed. But if all didn't completely happen, I would argue, though, coded with dinner kopen games. Ah, there's another secret weapon. You know inner invisible enemy who wants hand to hand combat to win Ah, this is a different kind of thing. Go on forever. First got all that sort of americans like get out meet him at the gate, todo how do However, none of this will be a real where, where mass exodus wouldn't do you use your big it your biggest sword and shield in this battle is actually to go home first,
in order to where I'm at where that is the shield that hasn't worked on a consensus level and then the fact that it was all in this election here where you know different stations were making their own had different you know different. They had a different tally sheet for what for who what we are losing and who, how many people will religion for what the body cameras has tallied up on two different two different scorecards leading to What were we to where we believe we are now you know how much do we go to describing this. How could I believe that it has to be personal idea to me that it has to be? I would love to believe otherwise, like I'd love to believe you read a book or he see a documentary and like that's it. I think
rare person that does serve as a catalyst. Very personal when you say, has the intention that right there's some illusions, it needs are actually to say: I'm gonna make this habit, though, because we intellectually low say, offer one one for all, but until it gets on my property until it gets house or in your neighborhood. Do we re do we really stand up and go I'm taken from their thing. It's a rare person who does- and I have I have thought of and have had, I have talked to some of the smartest people in religion in science, in philosophy, for a lotta years as part of what this entire here get. My project is about then one of the big questions. I've always asked and in some way Perform is how do we awaken? You know to some sort of constructive change that is not just cognitive as not just from the neck up, but
you know, is felt in the heart and then manifested in behavior and without desire aspiration evidence sure at all helps, but until we actually feel the weight of it on a personal level, is the rear person from what I have seen? Who is able to create a pretty substantial change in the way they interact with the world, the way the care themselves in their lives and then sustain that chain ye brought at nine eleven new yorker it. What. and tell you is in the three four five six months immediately after New york was a profoundly different place. You would walk down the street people with look you in the eye, is against the rules in new york they wouldn't knowledge your existence. They would say hello. There would ask how you doing here the strangers and everyone to know? How can I help? How can I be of service
even when we feel it so viscerally. There's time You know the further. We are from the experience of the immediate pain, the less. Weird behaviorist. Alas, I also think that there is a window down charity. You feel that this there's this window for us to turn the behavior change, indent ritual and then into habit, and if we don't do it by the time at the paying its far enough, than the behaviour to vanish, as we everything you there, Well, I hear you. Ah I hear you. that little those windows of opportunities? They do open up, when you go. I think that a window of opportunity, if you go for the thing that, without taking action in the yard,
it's window of opportunity. I think I'm up it's usually too late. If you see it, you feel it is true. He hit it and- do you know that I've been thinking about that along with where we are where we are now at this as a country, I was rowed right near the dealer think we need right now stabilize. Are we ready, but As am I am I wrong, I know you're stabilize right now. That's that's too passive. I should take advantage of the confusion and the anarchy, and they ate in an and anger and the confusion disruption? The disruption that really take advantage in show a new way now, not catch your breath. I didn't think re value and us right now catching our breath as people either in extreme side of things better
The ship is in, am I being am, I being is that a foolish thought that no actually, that would be half asking it to say yeah? Let's, you stabilize right now actually know now's the time where people are looking for direction in a change war and a a an affirmative forward, moving action for with which to choose a new and move forward. Yeah I mean we are the entire, world is in yeah is inner, a yellow they get out, and the question is: what is the path to green? You know like you, stabilizing, actually going back to read, or is it at all guided towards green the it's really easy now and there's no you it's easy did certainly take a binary thought process here, but you know we're both
Nothing now lives enough life to know that you like doesn't work that way. It's all great yeah yeah nuclear corrected in at least two anyways yeah there, you go the usa. Is that all this also value to that principle? prison, pearl jam line or somethin autonomic bought. You said it, but you know you change J, a change! I stay the same I mean I. the hands of time and and fads come in and social movements come in and they swing this way and that the other and, if you're, in a if you're, in a pocket near the inner ear, pretty solid place. Even personally, you. Become a very dynamic person, ways, even though you are pretty much can stick into the same thing, because ears chains, eyes changed what was the lighting change
the time of day, are more social movements, change which it was there which they do this. Since come and go and there's Then too, some sort of consistency that you go. Oh actually, that will reveal itself to be a very dynamic, different and and an affirmative and healthy way forward. You like them. I was doing that you know twenty years ago as well, she's brand new. Now I mean look. I I idea to given a concrete example. My own life hell. I go wouldn't ask of her best act now, all of a sudden after that happen, I would say Stephen. It would be a bold print. And it was novel- oh my gosh that so great listen to this terror And I'm over here snickering gone. I said that
it years ago and it was on page fourteen, but I see it. You know, and it's not sure how that applies. We're talking about a two hundred bring up. That aside, I mean how much you know is there worth in that I I do I do think that we have as a hotel and as individuals realign our value system. I I do think that we have to we we we we have to take out of this or need to take out of this. The answer to their personal question of I value what. And make the eastward we ve been right, we ve been massaging this the entire conversation of that long view,
you live in a certain way without the desire that the result, when how do you use it without the pay that without the candy at the end, but there is candy at the it? That's the. I think. That's the thing like what was it that made new york after six months where they said. I look at this relationship. I had it's more personal, I'm more of a community of it crowd. I dunno did crime go down, I mean probably a lot of positive things came out of that, but then, when did it revert again away from the initial injury? What is it about as thick as well that we prove it again? That fear will absolutely cannibalize compassionate love Almost every time in are in our human mammalian mind, it works really political campaigns, work always worked.
Where do we go now? The affirmative actually has teeth the healthy true as teeth, because it does. But what is It's that we don't again it's back to that. I don't know what I'm am, but I'm going to feel better about myself. Have I put aida, it goes back to that way. Just go to the fear thing. They'll go to the I dunno. Let me just let me just look at something. in on that alone. That makes me feel more clean, I'm afraid it. What is it you know that we can say more of us. I think it's individual. I think it starts in the mirror and I completely agree with you. I mean I think it does. You know and we've got a window. You know where the stakes are high. We are disrupted, were personally affected and then that opens the window, but the window closes. You know it may be a day. It may be a month and maybe a year
but it's it's like from the moment that is open and every subsequent moment as a process of closing. Unless we apply effort to keep it open and life while it's still open, build the structures for sustained change. Yeah, you know, and and and part of that I think both individually and be in yeah. Like large scale is you know, we love a common enemy, but but we do ourselves or do society so wrong when we made their common enemy, our fellow human beings- and I think, that's the place that were in right now, rather than seeing with joy. There. There is something that needs a change. There is a source of pain. But it's not my neighbour. And I think that's where we're sideways, but there is a window. You know and I think we're all. rain right now. You know, and china wondered, I think, gum do you know,
window for me, as always like what needs to happen for one person to see another person's humanity, because I think if we asked if we can do that in the end changes in our answer is, but I will almost forgiveness have ado with that, and I am glad I am that words comes mind because it goes again back such aspects, given somebody else at africa stops I mean: how much do we, how much do I not like you because c mon. a part of myself that I don't like. I always it's a always supported, and always you know, Charles forgiveness seen as something that's not regressive? Again, that's new testing, we're gonna brimstone this situation. Well, as I cannot see a great and aggressive, because I do think these things have to- but the spirit routing needs. We got that science behind me
or if we don't we're lou we're, never gonna get fifty percent hours per week. We gotta put the nuts we got it. We got, we got, we got it. We gotta see the proverbial cash money from the doing being, our better self being our true ourselves being are more compassionate self, no one ever or whenever that, whatever those things we get bitten umbrella that we can all go yeah, I'm poor that now show me how to get paper. their show me our show me how to pay, and my rent show me how its upper me sleep show me how to improve. My relationship. Show me out proven me and I'm enjoy my own company more but all Oh also also need to pay. My rent now can I pay my rent can have a nonprofit idea for profit, I'm in but it, but it needs to be for profit. You know it can work and where could those two? We understand that those or make our exit build a system that that's what it pays? That's what it
I use that's what society rewards cause. I don't I'm not at all, not right now, my life, I'm not up for, and I don't even economic- I'm have trouble fathom in the fight of taking it out of a capitalist so that I get and then I'm there with you there. are utopian philosophical conversations and then there's like ok, but we're waken up in this place. Right now What do we do that practical, unworthy? Balzac where's the swedes, by between those two right here you gotta, go into the philosophical side. You know, but at the same time yet a wake up in the morning be like. Oh, it was the intention right. I got through to put on the table and I have read it and I got people waiting on me and I'm scared you now gotta deal with that and- and I think that's where that's where the work is right: yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, nah, that's where we gotta go from yellow to green,
and sometimes it sometimes is more linear and more easy to figure out and then sometimes it is at scale and the decision has to be made collectively yet, like you said, Stuart individually, but then you know the adoption has to scale right for something to really happen in a major way, and- and I keep going back to- I knew it's one of the things I do you like do I do I help here. Do I make introductions? Do I do money. Do I like raise my voice, yes and at the same time do part of what I'm trying to do, and it's interesting to me, because it seems like part of the choices that you have made, especially in this early later season of your career have been to tell the stories that allow us to see our shared humanity and people who don't seem to be like us in ways who we don't bump into, and and and allow them to see. Oh they're, Buffy god's grace collide whether you're, religious or not.
right, you know, and I think, if that switch gets flipped, so many other dominoes tumble after that, like you said that promise happened just on a one by one basis, and I hope that no theirs, That is why, at my head is constantly going to. How can I play a role telling those stories where I'm not beating somebody over the head and saying, listen to me like see somebody else's humanity, and simply I'm sharing a story where, if somebody sees it, it is impossible not to understand that we are in this together. Well, we could if we could get a true measurement reciprocity measurement for how we get a like response from the solo we give out. That's true that hat that that happens. Sometimes I mean I happened in good ways: re out of pure ignorance, Js I got one
I got great responses from things because I didn't know better, you know well it back and that guarantees you could have been killed in that position. What we do in that. Well, I went into it blood with child eyes and I got a groan or for response. back where but unknown the laws, rules, regulations or wisdom that have now been like. I wouldn't get within a mile from that place in that time. But how can we intentionally understand? How can we have a tissue gonna put this out? It comes back, but it's tangible skagen has got to be tangible. My my hunch is that it We individually can say. Ok, I'm going to give this a shot. I'm gonna look in the mirror and say I can be a little bit better today. Maybe it's absolute more fair, maybe that's a little more responsible, maybe that's having a better sense of humor, maybe that spin
a little more time to herself for children, baby and a better father whatever that is little bit better. I could be a best, let's make sure we get orange in this there's no best when I get there. So let's take the pressure off her buddy or I'm going to forgive disperse or I'm going to forget the selfless thing and do a little bit better. If enough of us do that, that is inherently becomes the collective change. And it actually doesn't ripple down it actually envelops and you look around and you go oh yeah everybody's doing it. You know and all of a sudden you go. How do we make a change, did make the policy we didn't legislate. The doggone thing we. Show people that you can learn and I'm not more time at live longer. We shall maybe you can live you no more joyful, existence and also succeed in life. By valuing these things that we can all agree on I see I can't see you unless you see me
and see me unless I see you, but what we give out every day it does. It does usually come back once got a in we're, not uncovering not about uncovering. Some of you were gonna go. What are you talking about what site a mere my talk. Now, ireland, guy and I'll be sought rocket science at these deaths are thermometer teaches that weave grown out of the wood, the weeds run over that proverbial diamond dennis. but we had it. We got it. We have achieved our garden again and ask ourselves the question. We all want to be again on the cap aside, we all want to be relevant. We want to be there and significant you know with it, which I think is different, yeah well and I'll even go towards I'm trying to lean into that. These things that that are the candy that we reached it like to try and say, were here's how relevant here
Fame is great. Yes, it's ok to want that. I'm not saying don't want that, but for at what expense right mixture first, we go well not at the expense of this part, who I am, will grape this eliminate the. What were what were we, what we're not going to do to get get it, and it's ok to have that but we know right we're in a time where major distrust, especially by the youth. Anybody can be an expert they just say they are. I do, however, doing down there and tell my family bread launched. This is the latest news in june. In your name's john doe, and you just made it up and she had a really cool title that made it sound real and a good font. It looked really professional hell, I'm not sure where else I'm getting the news from so this guy's, you know, with newsbeat of the world facts on check twenty four, seven as jada. Listen to this guy. I just typed that up this morning and he's actually playing routes at you know. Where do we
Oh, and also this are we in a spot where we're getting so strange, into our individual spot in our little or little little tribes that we're not actually sure whereabouts, but we just know we don't like, thereby a weird spot where cause I'm seeing. I've got I've heard some people come to me. They are having buyer's remorse on this extreme individual note that they're going. I were, I need a purpose I needed identity. I ran to this group and now that I'm hanging out with them on actually send these are not the kind of people that are why be hanging out with, into four far scenes and buyers. Remorse. So is there, place in the proverbial middle come on over here come on over here. Let me look each other. At the place we were going to go maybe aggressively. Now that's an aggressive place to go at a pro active. That's and I dare you place to go, whereas before I thought it was like the woodsy place to go, but now I'm like. Actually that looks pretty bad ass. You gotta be a bad ass
be there because it because there's not many people there, maybe that's it because it it's not popular it. Also, it's actually rebellious move. yeah I mean, I think, there's something to that and I also go that route. While the way batter years can become a full circle. Hara in the beginning of our conversation about nature and solitude, and touching stone and and there's a mythology behind that, while there is a def, a fact which is positive in a lot of ways there's also like theirs A literary mythologies arose like I, like. I went to the there right there is this intense ethos of self reliance and an independence which, on the one hand, is really good right, because it is, it gives it It's a stance of self efficacy and responsibility, but, on the other hand, taken to the absolute extreme
also potentially alienates us from a greater sense of responsibility from lake. What so many people with the finest character in their two's the greater collect it to the whole? You know, sir. There's like this there's a sweet spot. I think there's this theirs is jewellery. Where are we on a cultivate, the skills in the practices and the capacity for self reliance and responsibility in and take responsibility for ourselves in and make something crete somebody contribute something and yet, and yet, like there's, no human being that can exist in isolation for any longer than a heartbeat without crippling themselves and crippling society and eventually crippling the world, and I think we're grappling with a cold.
or that is sort of like those those tensions are coming to a head right now, but I think we could all use a little more self reliant which gives us courage to go. I'm going to engage, I see the collective, I ain't a feat, true part, the true part of understanding, or self relies is not unless you want to become a hermit or a month I made were most of his art, but is that you, you didn't go I'm courageous enough to see myself and I'm courageous enough to be constructive with my mother, my fellow man and woman I wonder, though, whether part of self reliance is not just. It is almost a delusional believe that it's about the ability of not just public.
Skills to take care of myself, but also then that removes me from the need to contribute to others in arrive anna. think I dont think that is assumed in all the early writings and other thinking about several lines, but I feel like on society writ large how that's gonna got lost along the way. You know it's a good thing about the Hannah. You grew up in right, you're, right about this so eloquently here, there's a fear sense of self reliance in your family, and yet you are devout to you. Like your mind, your dad. Your brother, like there was nothing that any of you wouldn't do for each other. That doesn't mean that you don't have this capacity for self reliance. It means that you also understand that it exists within this larger context of contribution and and love and elevating he not not just your own existence but other
yeah. I mean and look in and in you know, in trying to put teeth on these empathetic terms and things that we all know are good but can feel like out, I don't get the tactical or that of love and compassion. lloyd, their letter, wherever that, whenever the forgiveness you know these new testimonies is new testament did this, My I grew up were made. Are you if you read the book, my love and I feel a house was furthest from passive as it could be. It was downright bloody. At times it was hard core. It broke down. Walls, it defended, you know, places coordinates on the earth. That could not be that that were unpalatable. You know by anything or any nc at anytime and
The love had tea, I mean just like the truth. I mean, I think this all this hat. If we can put the issue, if we can put the edge people can understand the edge in the teeth of these things can have so their scene is more tack out their seen from the more callous more cuts are more callous selves as o, better weapon. It back Oh, oh, that still rock and roll. That's not a symphony, I'm not going over there to europe's notices rock leaving could be put it there. People can digest That will understand that it has huge by two: it: it's got banks and it does everything out yeah. Well, maybe we can a morbus understand that dennis, Aggressive move, I guess what I'm saying
a word. You know that that love and fairness and in ten carry yourself looking after each other that aggressive that bears the bad ass. You know, yeah I mean it's. Love is not a stance, you know it is it motion right no edit and, like you said, it's got teeth sometimes, and it's got arms that wrap around you. Sometimes if there is a good place for us to come full circle also at so hanging out here in this a container of good life project. If I offer up this one phrase to live a life but comes up, I would repeat: what would the one you want? You said it's. I'm really dig in right now, true value of a vision that gives direction a lotta t about our real simple. When we talk about
How can our teeth times, man we're lost wonderin I like we're in right now and hard to have hope. In I'm remind my mom give children in people's give you a lot of books. Children, I'm ever goin it just feels like like I like. I don't like that, I didn't we do. We ask for books similar, because many people are often up a lot of books. I got ya gotta read this one and I remember phil, hang on a sec, look at the huge deck books and I was reminded of what certain month my mom said early on and shouted and cease to be a common denominator crossing about raising Joe, what do you do and as always wasted- and I wish you Luck- you just love em you gave and that as a repair knows
love and our children, the most in the truest way, is not about saying yes to everything is not about every single It may be a hug in a lesson learned, but it is about teach them national putnam, what there that what they love, let them now navigate their own thing? That may be enough harm. Maybe let them get the bumps and brews you don't want to, but you know rather not do the thing that breaks their arm, but let him go get the bumps and bruises get some dirt under their nails, and I figured out. But if you love them, you can't go wrong and, let's think about that in our own lives, as all love is a weapon instead of as a maybe a passive regressive thing that we like to. I lay over here well with a thumb to loving, then I'm then I'm going to lose. It trust it just is actually a weapon MM. Thank you. Man,
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Transcript generated on 2023-06-18.