« Guys We F****d


2022-04-01 | 🔗

Was it tone deaf for Kim K to tell us to work harder? Sure. But we, the public, can also concentrate on more important things like GETTING BRITTNEY GRINER HOME!?!! This week's guest is The Bachelor/The Bachelorette's KAITLYN BRISTOWE. Hosts Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson talk to Kaitlyn about television romance, the edited version of yourself, and dating a pro hockey player (so Canadian). The man with the magic Johnson is Mike Coscarelli. 





Follow today’s guest, KAITLYN BRISTOWE, on 

IG/Twitter/TikTok: @kaitlynbristowe 


Follow Corinne Fisher on Twitter/IG/TikTok: @PhilanthropyGal

(And follow Corinne's store on IG @PerfectlyCenteredStore)

www.corinnefisher.com FOR LIVE TIX


Follow Krystyna Hutchinson on Twitter/IG/TikTok: @KrystynaHutch

www.krystynahutchinson.com FOR LIVE TIX


Follow Guys We Fucked everywhere: @guyswefcked


Follow Mike Coscarelli on Twitter/IG: @MikeCoscarelli



Song 1- Yes! 

Song 2- Uh Oh


See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome to guys, we the talk about fuck, what up fuckers, how you doing welcome to another episode of guys. We see Anti slut, shaming podcast, I'm Corinne Fisher, I'm Christina Hutchinson. Welcome to the show. Have you watched our special, yet we're going to keep asking you until every put it on the background person who listens to the podcast is also listen to the special. Yes, we know the numbers guy. You can't hide from us yet we see we have eyes and it comes to your house yeah and I'm going to knock on your door and I'm gonna wake you up and I'm going to go back and watch it. Please you're going to hate
mean for that yeah. Then we're not going to go on tour live with new stuff until you wash the fucking old stuff. Yeah you bitch is a threat. I just made a writer being here and supporting us. We really appreciate, I didn't run it past, Christina it's alright. I softened the blow softened the blow yesterday and Yang, I guess, unless you're in Baltimore, London or Dublin yeah, because she's already agreed to those dates, but after that yeah you're in trouble, yeah yeah those tour dates: you're, going to you're, going to you're, going to you're, going to regret your yeah or for Carling Colorado. For me yeah, I wouldn't take that away from you guys is forecast. Combined can go and our closer to Denver irony I now make cited. I look out our company that actual our special day on you too, for free. It's really good. It's very good yeah tell your for there's not enough rude comments, which makes me think
Onlyfans it's going to have negative comments on the Youtube Channel there trying to be funny and no one's going to know that, except for us yeah, I'm just tired, I'm grasping at straws, Karen you! good writer and then I'll go and delete that I was going say: yeah fighting destruction of your own mental health. Alright! Well, you know. I mean, after a while, after you've been torn to shreds on the internet a bunch of times fair, here's the thing if your skin gets really thick and now you're like come at me, bro punch me, I got thick skin now. I won't feel it do it anyway, Youtube that comes guys, we fact, without the you, in fact our space, today. Yes, a special, send it to a friend as present, so you before yeah, please and if end
It is a good idea that my brother comedy album, but I paid for it. Wow sometimes I'll buy my family members like an album from a comedian that I think they would enjoy. But, like I was like in one of our colleagues, not like a super super famous yeah, yeah yeah, I dunno. I think it's a good gift. I truly love comedies. I enjoy the gift. They gave that to me so get up get wise, also if your musician or, if you know musician, all the music IRAN, guys we thought is from viewers if you send MIKE Casca rally your music, your songs at a g, W, F, podcast, music at gmail dot com, that is the address gw of podcast music at Gmail, dot com, send your songs to MIKE he'll. Send you a permission, form slip thing for legalities cause Chad,
It's a yeah thanks for it to everybody whose music you allowed us to feature. Can I just also add: if you're going to send me music, please send me an industry hang link, but I also need an M p. Three. Oh whatever songs, you want specs, just gotten back. So this way I can just download it and pop it in cause. A lot of you guys, don't send me streaming links and I have to go, find it somewhere and then I have. I have this vision of just someone, someone singing into a phone on the voice, notes app I'll, even sending it to my yeah. It's day two. You can't do anything about that child. It's public domain: that's why I picked in the public domain. Oh shit element. We feel safe about math. Alright, if you want to email corinne- and I about what's going on in your life, make the subject line pretty clear and send it to sorry about last night's show at Gmail, a calm, today's subject line is Polly problems. You don't say sorry this kind of long. It's a bit complicated yet because its folly
had been with my partner for about six months. He has to I see and a lot of trauma related to his disability people suck and have treated him poorly, even his on family why it's twenty twenty two, whose making one of disabled people anymore, guys like Bible stuff year of fires, do not like disabled doesn't mean part of the Bible. Part but the people remember it. I ll agree whatever else anyway. This or is he has told me, make me cry it was. I was really enjoying our relationship but have been realising in past relationships and this one, the monotony makes me feel trapped and as if I am owned by someone I feel you. I want to always be able to make my own choices about what I do with my body. I communicated this him early on and continue to. As I began to learn about what although Polly meant and about the Polly Queer
in general- I Dennis I'd with it and I felt at home with the people I met in the area who were in the lifestyle this has all been challenging for my partner, who has tried to adapt but did not find it as natural as it felt. For me, I learned about the term the other day called Polly under duress. Oh yes, I've heard Dan Savage talk about many times I started to feel as though my partner was forcing himself to be poly for me, which is what poly and for his is referring to which is something I had always told him was not necessary as long as he could come to terms with my lifestyle. As long as I can fuck, people who can be monogamy asked how how you are taking his hand and going hey, come with me to Polly under duress you're guiding him your partner throughout that he's, acting in ways, I never thought he would in saying things to friends, and I had no idea he felt were true. It came to a point where I I had to end the relationship and I became so concerned about his mental health of soldiers were waiting.
I was just thinking of highly fucked up jokes him. I haven't. I can't make on this show somewhere else. I became so concerned about his mental health, but I recommended he go to the crisis clinic and get a value waited for impatient treatments are so I caught him. I brought him and he's in the hospital now, but he doesn't seem to understand the situation. Did he consent to this? He, the intake person we were breaking up for now. I feel awful and is, though I have have an m hurting. Someone so much in the process of figuring out what I who I am, I guess I'm can for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and that I should continue to be firm in setting boundaries with him. I dont. Ok, Anyone who bird someone to this site or lay air who didn't want to go after you were like hey, we're, either breaking up or invoking other people. It is particularly hard because I know he and colonel lies as a lot about his disability and sometimes thinks it has to do. I think it has to do with that. I recognise it does at a different dynamic to our relationship in some ways.
but it doesn't change the way. I see him as a person, it's the mental health and behavior that is concerning, and I can no longer support him because it's hurting me to do so. That feels incredibly selfish, yeah and I dont know what to do things for doing to show its help me a lot I'm way behind right now, but I'm catching up our current. Ok, you always see the truth in situations where I'm like what the fuck is happening. This email is all about you, it's that yeah, it's ever so on who's, like I'm so concerned about you Christina, I'm like concerned about, like you have you met my ma. I can and how I will wake up in the morning and think about you how exactly how obsessed with you that way. I, like your writing, like the the writer, is writing as if She is so overly concerned with her former partner, but really see knows all about you girl and you didn't eat. It doesn't seem unless you're leaving something out here that you're you're not been very kind to him. It, like you, you're. Saying, like you know, he's he's be mindful of
insecurities scourges. Disabilities, but was but you're basically putting him under duress yeah. The poly thing, is not the main issue here and the and the fact that you put it as the subject has a lot of mental health health Few surrounding his surreal cerebral palsy, which makes sense, I can only imagine, especially if people are making fun of you again, where Sure where do you live on a school bus in nineteen fifty and are talking weird yeah? He mags, and I expect you should you should go check out a comedian named Josh blow. He has cerebral palsy very funny. I would watch Crip Camp holy shit. well that one story about the two people fell in love and they both had cerebral palsy is one of the most beautiful things. I've ever heard. And then also I is yeah.
This is what you have your head. If your own ass so far up there that you're not really seeing what's happened, yet you think you're and you're also like you're talking about him as if he is mental, you disable rights and he he's not my understanding. He is only physic, glee disabled by your talking about him, as if He has like and less cable, well, then you I like wearing it like a badge in a way that that's the impression I get is a little yeah. Well, you have like a savior, complex yeah. There we go there, we go. I knew you'd friggin know what's happening in this email. It's So it's very range- and he just seems to kind of go along with it, I'm guessing because he, if you are, he loves you. He seems like he loves you, I'm guessing, because you chose him as a partner and sometimes when people aren't chosen as a partner by many people or feel like they are. Wanted anyone!
who chooses them, no matter how they are treated by that person in the law. On Rhine, they will feel close to, and they want to will that he won't want to remain loyal to you. Like honestly. This feels like, like it's like a fucking abused dog at this point, yeah who's like you're, the only one or like you're talking about You don't like, like feeling and it seems like you own him so again like Jack, but there a yeah I'm I'm! I know that you are This amiable being like yeah Why did wanting us to like yeah girl? Go live your own truth and fuck, whoever you want, but I think you're the one in the in the wrong here in this area.
As very strangely word air, and I think you really need to get you shouldn't be together, but you shouldn't be together because he shouldn't be with you, as you shouldn't be, with her yeah zealous boom yeah for real I and the Polly thing. I don't know what the fuck is that going on there. That seems like that was just some weird lame excuse. You made up to not hurt his feelings when my allotted to break up with him whether or not your Polly, that's your own journey. I dont actually care about it right now, because I'm so concerned about the sky that you drove to amend the facility yeah y yeah. Unlike start, and you can you Pherson who wrote this if your listening, I hope you are, can you write us? I will. I will clarification. I don't we are sad example is, if almost Something I'm not missing in this is inaccurate, the situation, but right now, if the EU off, like my mom
I mean also mean that another this man doesn't have free well because, obviously, like we have to treat him, you don't even know it The email is written as if he is less than one well person, and I don't think that was your intention, but that's how it's coming off yeah. I saw I mean first of all, he's in a he's weird mental state to begin with, because of his his it's ability, not just like that's been his whole life. His whole experience, so it's tender, his mental health and then you feel trapped again. You feel trapped. He doesn't feel so you decide that you want to be poly after exploring that he's so attached to you, he obviously doesn't have a lot of self. confidence, it has some issues surrounding being enabled person and then you allow him to become poly under duress and like again, like it's hard to say, allow because he has free will, but if
like in this relationship. He doesn't kind of I know, that's why I'm saying allow and if he was never interested and Polly, he doesn't know the vernacular like he doesn't understand like what are the options? What are the rules were bound like? What is that either? Look like I'm ever yeah. I got a model of the neural for this pike. Ass stop trying to convince our partners to be partly if they think of it on their own. They don't want to do it. Okay, that's the rule. That's the ground rule also to you guys when you want us to spice something up or relationship. The idea of slowly incorporating it like in the dirty talk first like pitch that first and see how you both feel about it and, if there's anything, to build on there. Otherwise I feel like these. Big conversations like do you eat. If you don't know what you want you be holly is a big thing. That's why literally called a lifestyle? It's a lifestyle choice. Life is the entirety. The whole fucking thing, yeah it's not just deciding like being a comedian like mean it's, you
It's all right! I'm going to have three! It's like deciding you and have three some. Sometimes it's a whole committed lifestyle with multiple p, involved, which Wild, because it's always the fucking people who couldn't master monogamy, then moving on to PA or polyamory. And that's how are you doing? It's like? You haven't even managed one person like having a baby to save a marriage. What this is so frustrating yeah yeah a lotta, you got yeah. This is saying I'm going to go poly. I can't even hang out with one person for six months, like your might. Are you out of your minds? Oh my god, you do yeah people Dorothy emotion. capacity and just consider you might be running from something and ask yourself what is it? What is that?
and we're literally in the business. I I was funny. I was talking about polyamory in a in a in a green room this weekend, because it's always causing a problem, and I know the poly community gets on me and I know like for shit. I wrote in the book like a lot of the book. Reviews are just like poly people who weren't getting fucked, because there's too many people in a relationship so the time to write, notes about book, reviews on like book reviews, dot coms, one of the benefits that extra time it's what you do with it plant a tree. I'm not saying it's, not real, I'm not saying it's like a fairy like it's. It's a fan, fantasy creatures. They finally amorous relationship. But what I am saying is it's rare: it's like a for leave. Clover! You're, not gonna, find it a lot and when you do it's gonna be stepped on and trampled have dog? Do our high you're gonna go? Do I really want this and you're just gonna go well, I said I did so. Let's just stick with it.
I don't think I know one person in my whole entire life, we have ever met on the progress of the pike, s white, truly feel as a Polymorphus human being and he's constantly he's a good part to his primary partner. But I feel, like also has hurt her through an eye to only no one person. It's does one. Grinned knows I mean we talk about sex all the time. All of our friends in all of our committee colleagues, bring are weird, is sex problems and questions to us all the time truly I've that person you're talking about is the only person around like oh yeah, that he is healthily. Balanced, Polly and, like you say, even with that there still you're, still gonna fuck it up it just have started using the word. Polyamorous
sleep yeah. It's high me they're, genitals, call to them there like must be partly ass, a mellow eager, not yet a little like the person that you're dating. We want to fuck other people. Three aura Cheech her you're a cheat her, but I also managing like the voices it if you like your in your head, your riving at a fork in the road and to the left leg. You know what I need to interrogate myself and go. Oh, why do I have these fears or hesitations or what's complicated about my feelings? Are I feel about his person then to the right is just that? Maybe I'm poly, and then you just do that one, and then you don't interrogate yourself, so you gotta. If, if you don't, if you don't clean it up, it's going to come back to haunt he has so many peoples in going Polly is easier than breaking up with someone, I think actually sitting in thinking about it. What happened here as you wanted to break up with someone, but he has saree Bro palsy rise it about it. So in a new tab- and you like some pilot- yes, instead of letting him go, you actually torturer asleep.
Are slowly ghosting him through polyamory, hear what she's saying anything that's going to make them feel bad. That's awful! I don't think it is yeah. I don't think. Is you gotta change your ways? Breaking Someone hurts a lot? it sucks in some ways. I think it's worse than getting dumped become Is you have to like hurt someone and you really hate them like unless you really are like this on the bags yeah cause, you don't have to worry about. I know the worst is when you actually think that somebody's great and you're
it's not ready and shipping, you just very just not you'll like it whenever you just right for you loved them, but you're, not in love with them that right around or you're gonna have to now it has to see their faces, and I have to see them actually like start to tear up or when I get hurt there feel or some think they really like you, and I want you to help every eye there actually like right at her began when somebody again there were leaves out and was set aside. Actually, if you prepped yourself to be like our IDA, what am I gonna say, I'm going down and oblige. I saw it on Monday and tall and there, like all, I'm glower they pay issues like the arms there was. Oh, is that Dell breakups work for awhile lighted, the debt eventual somebody disease had this blow out fight. Where you are
it's like fuck, you, I'm outta here. If you're in a hot relationship yeah have in the sex yeah, that was the most Jersey thing. You ever said that he thought it was just a lot of doors laying on the floor and in England my chain with my finger. It turns out it's a lot of quiet conversations on a couch where you see the pain in someone's face. I'm so sorry his life Baltimore Maryland. I wanna be highlighting the goobers March. Twenty fourth of the twenty six London UK may twelfth at the Lesters square. Theater and double in Ireland may thirteenth at the venue that I was gonna put in and I didn't but go to my I'd, say Christine actions in Dakar for decades, and I was
Well, podcast. The voices in our heads, that is the new episodes, are only available on Patriot, so you can go to patreon dot com, Slash, Christina Jensen and sign up, and- and I love you so much and Collins Colorado April 15th and for shows the comedy for looks like a fun part of town. I will be there get your tickets either. link tree link in my Instagram bio philanthropy or the website for the comedy for or fisher dot com? You have multiple, This is look at me, update my men and then without a country mad. If you want to learn, about Ukraine Russia, but you also want some dick jokes listens and without a car with me and Shane Smith comes out Saturday. Is where every listen to pod, including full video on Youtube, will explain everything to you yet and then you'll oh really. They decided to kill a lie. heads and ruin and entire neighborhoods for this, and then you'll be sad but
yeah you're out a country very young laughs along the way. I think it's like a comedic political progress, but it's not like. I we're not doing slapstick. The news is just what are you there? I don't have a tv, you guys, I wouldn't know yeah listen. It was later when travelling by president those families, those young down any. We had a rated ever viewed guys you fucked on the Itunes Car park. Casta please do so give us a give us a rating would have whatever you want and leave a comment, but I hope as good as it keeps us at the top of the charts and people are allowed to discover us, and we want that to happen and subscribe, sure you watch the dumb bitch will our as well as our special day. So much guy I'm in stock? We love, you were some bad. I was looking for. I will list of topics that I wrote my phone
I owe case so something that I was thinking about that cause of saving my personal personal stuff, for, though the Luminary bonus episode, which, if you're a subscriber then you'll now you get them twice a month and but The Kim Kardashian, like you, got a fucking recently, I mention Jamila is unable to be eligible under my best. She, oh, she like fuckin was rude like The meal is always road. Yeah sure she was like. I was a people magazine. I analyse rumours like Jamila Jamila was like you fuck. What fuck, I should have said, I take anything Jimmy all way because she's also the one who has the I way Instagram accounts that I've talked about on multiple pike ass, an obsess web where she just takes people of fat pictures of fat people bikini is immense. Yes, you're, so brave buckling Y yeah Jimmy. That's why I can't
Europe meal Jimmy. I dont like way. She calls women brave she, just as a lot of bullshit on the internet is one of the hottest people to ever exist on his very and then she post big. She started this thing called. I way how people say things that online yes used to be in a body positivity now she's into body neutrality, cushy realized. It was ridiculous when you're in our size to be body positive and right. We can fight about this. Although you got a very strong stand us and gives it gives its always people who have never had wait problem monsieur like just love, her body like it's just like
I don't get love your by. We love and just like your body is came up on your own uneasily. Locker, you talking about your body is capable of a lot of things I mean, I think, is called again nerd about the sides of your body. If you find yourself having like an eating disorders, if you see if you feel any certain, what neurotic way about your body solve Europe's Legal covered up the fact that we want to be hot we're trying to make think of other reasons, never it'll. Distract yourself from the nordic thought I'd sooner acting ass, something together that zone in fairness, those who are french Miller, who I am I ran, we share the same- I don't know, but the her clap back. I've I am very anti clap back culture. I think it's kind of like saying weird but like yeah, she did what she had said to Kim Kardashian in regards to her like at people, are just people's don't want to get up and work, it is Her whole sentiment was that you lived a pretty privileged life. You kind of had an advantage to love
you getting an early start and working. Didn't you didn't do not sign. You started working in a diner in New Jersey and rise like like how bullet Abilene our way, but it is, she has found. I she really as a hardware, great evils: I've jarred worker- and if you come from privilege, ok, it's what you do that privilege they're doing pretty good shit yeah. We give us time. I understand that it was tone deaf, and I understand that number I don't, but also working in. Business. We know how people clip clips, I didn't have a lot of you all know, one commenting in on it heard the whole interview area and Italian. They and they also clipped that exact thing to piss. People often make people our eye. She would say that she's a whole world, of course, and furthermore, its it. You know, I think, a lot of I swear kind of proving how right yeah cause. We had all this time where we weren't working to comment on Twitter on the fact that she said people weren't working and then also as this
ownership of high for people people don't work on. You know down across people that we let our are they just don't do the same and its I mean and this another apply for the unpaid internships paid. it's salary, I have a lot of quote: unquote: producers, I don't know how to do anything. Yeah yeah, you just teach us, you know we're all trying our best out here and yeah, oh, but what does he doesn't bring up? Is so you know how, like I'm a sucker for toxic guy kind, sure do like toxic women and weird. about one in particular over text and they're they're like this. This chick who's kind of like notoriously just a toxic person. And and and she had commented on my instagram and I had this friend who has a sniper like I dunno. Yes, too, it's so funny, there's like
look I don't know like a part of me. I guess at like clings to tie I people all around me wanted to go like are a girl yeah see you see that, like I wanted to make plans to hang out with her know. I'm not, but I wanted like I, I almost like acted like that. I don't know if you're a tractor, no not like Fucker and NGO like it's this. It's this puzzle piece. It's an old part of me, but it's so funny that I just noticed that I guess this desire to like please her light yet a Smith persons like a fool on Bali, yeah yeah, bully yeah, I dont like while it so I'm sorry. I didn't, but I thought that was interesting like that, if you have it- if you're kind of magnetized towards toxic people means a huge problem, I work on, but its funding to observe like with men but also with women. A part of me wants to be like a girl, that's crazy, as these are like the middle school or in me that still wounded.
Combine all edgy yeah, I mean I'm, not alpha energy right hurt the heard this girl's toxic, alpha energy, I like was it outright and I like, went to bow down to and then also Christina Merida. What are you doing there, but I do not like a lot of emojis in the comments but whatever, but I thought that was funny. Is and also I mean like it's funny to me like when, were you know, work Kim Carta can like she, and there is also a part of me that things like that purposely isolated like because, because you know, Kris Jenner is always behind it and then- obviously it is she like what the next day, her in P Davidson release their first Instagram official pictures as a couple just like what they do. Is they the carnation turbulent genius in the cycle fan the flames cause a problem, then hilarious.
Because I was skims order that I rushed guy, get common, that's gonna thing little girl, but whatever it's just like. Ok, I like it. I like this sum, this cold getting up in arms about a fucking, sound bite that a celebrity said just over it and like it, and also its like. If we want to, we just need to redirect our attention and right were by talking about this constantly or just giving these people power, and I don't care about something you are now cause. I. Finally, the cartouche Osthoff tribe be money smart, but with your energy, where you see and your own energy and what you put your energy towards, and you put your energy towards like making comments about the Kardashians online and like a screen names, you can make some shitty comments. I would a year a bad spender? Yet like. I don't even like, particularly like people who grew up rich. They do have a certain like about them but, like I all
Don't I ain't that you grew they give. You were born into a rich family that you should constantly have to fucking apologize for your existence. All helped hiring you. I hope, but there is a difference between somebody that is born into a of rich wealthy family. That sort of does something with it and is not constantly fighting the attention of the public, which right words, giving its hurrying down fight already giving us great pride, hardly eyes that he's a good business. Lady is good. The business aspect of the card Ashton's Aside POT Europe to Europe, to the credit of your point that you just made they are called Lee they. They survive after life blood, that's ships that it happens, that fuckin family yeah, like what of FARC
God spend a little more time on you guys. All of you like, if Kim, did all this about all rosy and was and is not in the public eye, but she became a billionaire as a businesswoman, even with the advantage that she had done all that there is any chance that she gets this type of backlash from people. How do you get backlash from people when you, when you kind of you know you ruffle feathers and we ruffle feathers when you're being yourself really knew and then you're having a generic pc? Here and a new need to get a be famous yeah like a part of what this part of Kardashian Britain's very there's fame. You know it's a look, the created a whole mug and then also, more importantly, W N B, a star Brittney Griner God. Oh my god, he's the Gsb. I dunno, if that she had marijuana vape cartridges in her suitcase in Russia, they're, not even sure. If that's even true, I was going to say, yeah they probably planted as well
she's been detained in Russia, unlike the. U S is basically working out to get her out, but this is like like go, get her guys, sizzling, a very serious situation, and so it just like it. Just bought it may, of course, there's always been serious situations going on in that does not mean that we're not allowed to talk about publicity around we're talking about now but, like I just I was like laughing to myself, because every one was up in arms about fucking came Guard Ashton's aside in fuckin variety meanwhile there is a whole ass person. Seeing, are and have led a one. If color is, because it's the same fucking people who are so mad about Kim Kardashian telling your work, who are that who are, who are also the people who are constantly sharing like this many women of color went missing, but it's like we're. Ok, there's! This is what would happen right now, yeah is happy right now. What can we do? A fucking talk about it in other, while also member of the old you'd be to you now
Thank you MIKE. I think w A N b, a kind of said that, but I just wanted to put it out there thanks for specifying. I actually didn't know that I didn't know that everyone in the NW is engage at nuts but wish yeah way more fun. But it's like you know if you want to be. If we want to be, I just like don't like the everyone's like getting on their high horse, but then getting on their high horse to talk about something that just is not in fucking important, like Kim Kardashian, Kardashian, say whatever the fuck she wants to say and stop giving her our attention, if you're so mad at her about right. Exactly that it'll go away. Your feeding is like oh yeah, that's like following somebody on Instagram and commenting on a picture. You don't like going idle like this on, follow yeah it follow it's free to do that. You just press the button. I also I also thought it was an especially bad time to come. out on her when she, being a motioning abused by car
yea and doesn't have an doesn't have the full support of but like if you read her. If you read her twitter replies, it's mostly people like calling her. a whore and you know, people who thinks that she shouldn't be allowed to wear a bikini because she's a mom like what this is like so this is like this is like you know, old school slut, shaming happening here, and I think just like a lot more important things to to worry about. Yeah yeah, I agree, is it it's yea right. When could he changes? I call it that guy said because no on and without a country she was like. Well, it's easy sorting to be you'd. I was like will know it on your own gaze. What has to be yeah, but then I heard him he was at a late, the scheme and the announced him over there bigger and the guy the announcer said. Yes, I was like ok, I think he s here, and this proves me grab. This kind are right guys, our guests woof pop culture,
our guest is a canadian television personality and a podcast host. Her podcast is off the vine which current and I were just on. It was so much and yeah he's best known as a contestant on the nineteenth season of the bachelor and as the the bachelorette divas season, eleven in twenty fifteen! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show Kaitlyn Bristowe,
none of your rug, though no peons, my father and my own gap was Mary scandal, particularly when they want to say is strong, thinks he's just dumb. Holding his Jackie allows them in an immense land. No man can be tackled, but how come he remembered tat? The first great? That's why I'm gonna rules out entirely steal that ain't got inside Mercedes, Aaron Pussy use the GEO strategic cover these men, I mean milking ray. You gotta, pay me
we are here with Kaitlyn Bristowe, so excited to interview you you bachelorettes. Yes, what What year you bastard, so this was two thousand and fifteen the that show, is is it is a part of pop culture, its apart of like the like dating. It's just there's so much about that show. That speaks to like the culture of now, and That time I remember when the bachelor up the bachelor first came on and I was like wait. This is what it's gonna be like when I grow start dating hunks very excited to watch it. What what you cause. We are talking on your podcast earlier that you were very protected in your upbringing. Yes, what do you like? How paint us a picture like in what ways? So I but in a very small town in Alberta in Canada, man
it was just like one of those small little happy towns where we were like stoked when we got to Walmart and there's only you know like I think when I lived there, like fifteen thousand people- and I this had a really good childhood, where my parents were happy and It was an dance lessons and skating lessons, and I are good friends and our cousins and aunts and uncles errand was so close and we'd go skating. Ponds and play hockey in zones? Canadian that we just we just? like a really really sweet? upbringing and she and I like. If anything ever went wrong, my parents would want to fix it before it made us work aid or ino He just wanted us always be happy which later in life. They ended up getting a divorce. When I was eighteen years old, which is a lot later in life than most people. I feel like an I started just like not being able to cope with anything bad
the main whether that was like. I remember our a dime or of even it's like. If I was in a relationship, I all of a sudden was so scared of any released anything bad that could possibly go wrong and then my anxiety started where I started thinking about what if people die would and I started spiraling, because I never had to think about those things, and I lost one of my best friends when I was nineteen and it just oh, my gosh, so that was all those back to back whole. Yes, so it was just to still just like- I did not a copper things. It took me all through my twenties to work through therapy on coping with anything and my dark what do you think that your parents were actually as happy as it looked at lightning, obviously not later, but yeah Laguna? Like do you or talk to them about like why they kept things. hidden from you. Yes, so I've talked to both of them about it. My
I always call my daddy's just like one of my heroes it he is how I would want to live. My life is like my dad. He is. Thirty years sober, he still attend a meetings, he's a mentor he's just so humble and patient and kind and caring, and so my mom's, an incredible human being you so spunky and fun and choose the best mom, and I think they really just prioritized us as kid right. I don't really necessarily remember big blow blowups happening, but if my parents argued they would have a family meeting. We'd all sit down and talk about our feelings holy crap. Yes, it was. a divorce was like pretty healthy for what it was, but I knew like by the you know once you older and you see your parents relationship, I'm like I knew they weren't in love. I know they weren't like
you know, they just seem like good friends who got in small arguments that there is no affection between them and it just felt like when they told us they're getting a divorce. We were like not surprised around the age, I dunno I was that was the third grade. They tried two separate and that's when it was really confusing Zaza. What I was so young, but they got back together like pretty quickly. right, so I can't such very bizarre because it was, I just felt very like protected. I knew nothing bad would happen me because my parents would take care of it right. Did you get No sir, I think that's like sometimes weeks. I also had a nice childhood. It's it's. It wasn't like as happy as Canadians, Lady S, orders by it was totally it was very happy and healthy, and I think Even like you seemed like you doing and Alec almost like you're like it like something wrong that, you don't know how to handle bad things, but, like
I truly believe our childhood is how it's supposed to go like you, if you like, your parents should be attacked you from anything like that's what the whole point of it should be its allergy o Europe. Your parents should clean up your message for you or I like. If you can do, whatever you want run a mock and your parents will take care of everything but yeah overall throughout childhood, you should feel protected and, like your parents, have your back and I think some people. I feel that way and then a lot of us I grow up and like the few people who had no sheilds, it's a feeling. I always feel it a moment ago, apologizing for it and safe, not apologise in foreign rival, because, believe me, adulthood is, as you described, a fuckin slap in the face where we had a nice childhood so say sake brewed in its true. It makes me think out to be apparent because yeah I I wouldn't change anything from my childhood. It was like so magical. and happy, and I have to spend memories of upbringing and all of that. But then how do you cuz? I would like to have
eventually, and then I'm like how do I protect them and make feel safe and loved with also happy them get like doses of reality and not feel pain. I confusing yeah. I think being born is traumatic. Just you know, being born is is a trauma in and of itself just just ends, because like either way, however, your childhood went you're still the real world is can be, can be scary can be great. It can be all sorts of things and sell. You might find yourself in a place where you're like. Oh, I dunno how to handle this right and then you learn. I think you could also use art, like my mom used a lot like art and story as a way to expose me to not sir the ideal listing childhoods or experiences, and that's a way to do it without actually like damaging the case. Is that you're not gonna like bring them to like a gun? got a and make your way home. You know you're, absolutely right. You do need to expose people all met. People who, like I met,
bling college you just like Haddan ever at anyone outside their race or religion. Just say I didn't know anything other than their own existence and that's also dangerous and kind of just annoying at a certain point like you're trying an okay relax, but I think there's there's a way to toe the line and have your kids feel safe. then loved and supported, but also firstly, on that everyone Have it like that? Did you send the parents showed you through art, yeah, I love that humane trees like I knew what was going on. I just knew it on a larger level, citing so much think like oh my neighbours or going through this I mean I did actually have a alcohol, a neighbor who things weren't going well there, and I did know about that. So I knew I knew that I hide. I had a good, but I didn't know that so many people were having like trauma experiences within the home. I knew more about it like through, like celebrities who were you
in Tina or something I feel, and I mean I think back on certain things that, like now, I see were traumatic like us, certain ways that my my this relationship with food and how that affected me, but in my childhood I didn't realize that until later in my life shore, pieces together, before you went on the bachelor. You were younger what how what was as a very very dark place. This person- and I said actually speak very highly of him, because he truly didn't nothing wrong. So I really wanted to be a dancer when I was little and my mom the professional ballerina and I wanted to follow in her footsteps- you on yonder dance, studio, idea it's my whole life. I didn't go to college because I was trying to audition and I was part of a dance, company and I'd moved out to Vancouver to dance and I kept trying. To go to all these auditions, and I met this guy. When I was about twenty five and
he was a hockey player manned Canadians, leather occupiers. Their high was so in love with him. Probably it wasn't a healthy love. I thought he was my end all be all, and I I love a tender so deeply and I was willing to you know, move to wherever he needed me to move to to follow his career, and I will he gave up on my dream and line my what I was doing- and I was okay with it in that first moment, because I was like I just I have to be with him, and so we lived in Winnipeg get an Newfoundland, and then we went to Germany and he played hockey there and when I got to Germany, I am at this point shell myself, because I'm realizing okay, I haven't worked in a couple years, which I thought would be amazing, but I hated it
I had no friends- and I was on a nine hour time change from where my friends and family were. I couldn't speak the language we were in an area that definitely was not like touristy enough for people to speak English, and I would go to the grocery store and I would just sit on the floor and cry. Trying to read what like something was cuz. I love cooking and I was like maybe I can just like cook and I couldn't even find things with the ingredients and Google like it wasn't a because it is now like. I didn't even have data on stone that I get like it was just terrible, and I He was going to let you know cuz you was on the road playing hockey and the German was really kind of clicky and they didn't. I just couldn't hang with them and it was full and I just started realizing like I'm doing nothing to fulfill myself. I have nothing I am emotionally financially in every way. Relying on this one person who now he's feeling the burden of this, he sees unhappy he is. I am he's also trying to process himself that he's had to.
was his own dream of being in the age at which he he had got in there and then had been sent. So he's trying to process his own legal feelings about discipline. It meant, and how could you him during that? If you are also in that place, that you're in exactly I just was I truly like a child. I would cry every I would throw tantrums. I was ninety eight pounds I couldn't eight- I was just so depressed and it got to point where we went back to Vancouver, which is where we lived in the summers, and I completely had him sound like it was scary and he and you know what I'm gonna go. Take some time I take the night you stay here and in the morning I was like. are you coming back and he's like I'm not coming back. You have to leave like
can't do and I was like I have nowhere to go. I'm like I don't have a dollar to my name. I haven't worked in years. I don't have a place to stay like I don't know where to go, and I had to move back in with my parents at the age of like twenty eight and Oh get. I went on antidepressants depressants as prescriptive prescribed valium, because I was definitely feeling suicidal? I I felt like I nothing which, of course, we're all dramatic in a heartbreak, but it really did feel like a lost that I didn't know how to handle. Of course, my in skills not great and so yeah. I ended up being addicted to Valium and I was I would just lay on a couch. My mom would come up with you. Videos of like like a hidden hypnotist you're going to be okay and I would just lay there would try and eat something, and then I would just lay down. I was just a shell of myself and until I got to a point where I was like, I can't do this anymore, right. Did you know when you were
it's. You were having like temper tantrums when depressed did you know why no I mean. Maybe I knew because I like, I think I knew like I'm supposed to be doing something with my life like I would try so hard to make like stupid, Youtube It was er, try and like make a funny thing and you're like this. Isn't it good when you're neglecting your own needs it? It will ruin your life until you stop, like. I haven't done that so many times I get and you're like for me, me so long to realise that. That's why I was upset and depressed Catholic. I didn't even understand that I was doing that and so on. to figure out you're like oh. there's another path: okay, hoof yes yeah and ice? I was like there's no way I'm getting back like I didn't want to go start working at a restaurant again and start from the bottom and, like you know, when people are twenty eight, and I think I'm so old. Now, like what I asked about your restaurant,
it's just so stupid, but the restaurant biz and started to work my way up and I would and then I found myself again cause I was like I was working, hard. I was working my way up in the restaurant biz. I want to learn about wine. I got trained under a Somalia, I got to train servers. I got to bartenders? Help of restaurants around canada- and I was starting to like finally come back, but it took me a good year and a half have just been a shell of myself mm wow and then and then and then how what happened after that is that, when you were on tell me you're wondering how did you get picked a beyond heavy, so interested in its processing? Attics we're not like super bachelor bachelor at people who like so we know how you do a holy shit. as we want to know yeah, so my girlfriend, I think I I had a similar dream where I was like. I need to be like a name, and I need to have some sort of like platform, and I didn't know what that look like and my girlfriend was like. You know you
through all of this heartbreak and you're. Finally, getting yourself back she's like I think, she trying on the bachelor- and I was like They'Re- not that didn't, take Canadians and choose? No, actually they do they they taken aliens. I think you are a season and I was like no one guy hurts one created foresees a. I see she sent in like all this paper work for me and I was kind of like a was kind of a rebel like in my twenties, and she I remember her. Calling me with my sister and they're like have you been I before before their filling out the paperwork and outside oh and really weird right, so they kind of spilled out all the paperwork for me and sentient photos and then I got a call- a year, Darwin said. I am fell and they called me in there will, like verbatim words, were Hey Caitlin, Stacy calling from casting with?
let see the bachelor wondering. Are you single yeah, and why was like loose, the dating a guy at the restaurant, and I was like yeah fully one hundred percent one hundred. Nowhere in my life, like honestly, I would have to be head over heels in love with someone I will be like yeah. Actually, I'm single as of today yeah yeah yup. That's amazing! What what was the process like to be to to go from that? First phone call to be like you're going to be in the show, so it's so different for a lot of well, because I know girls who have gone onto audition like after additional and they go to casting calls and they go through a process where they just called me and then I flew out to LA and they're kind of, like yeah we're going to have a show. I tell you what you can and cannot do cause. I know we at reality. T v, as we all know, is very produce is very not real gas and and so was there?
just like did you experience like such shaming or like oh, I know you said when you left you, you experience, allow or early after the show you experience as you'd sup with someone yes I experienced a lot of manipulation on that show the hands of the producers yeah, Oh it was so that even the producers to this day will be like you know like We, we really learned a lot from that season, because they saw that I went into a again very dark place from what It happened on that show, but basically I fell in love like night one. with somebody really bachelor. Guy knows. So I was oh wait. Maybe I'm going forward too fast. I was on the bachelor and then I was, is the girl, though, like I was like I'm going to cry over this guy that I don't know like writing right to bid
I was like just trying to like chirp the girls it behind like in the decades to try out money, one minors, but they are not so what I was doing like outdated, her face and like them. Like a head, what do you think about Ashley? I, and I believe I like, I hope she gets her period in a short time like cancer on yeah. Now, let's try again, they were just try and, like you know, cause I didn't I was going to be there long, so I was like I'm gonna make an impact, and I'm just be myself and like I can, out of the limo. You know that all the girls have like a limo entrance, oh yeah, so that I thought I was coming out for the bachelor. He was a farmer and yeah he's a farmer, Maya, Iowa and real yeah with not hot, and I walk up to him and and, like I dunno anything about you, I just know your name is Chris and I know you're a farmer and I was like so you can plow the fuck out of my field any day. Yeah, that's fun as shit, and he was like that and I was like a loser That's an ilo boy itself on me about.
It's like, if you don't think, that's funny like we're not going to get along, because this is my sense of humor and he and I I ended up going into like the final three and me in Bali, and it was honestly many places to get doms yeah. That's pretty good. Did you bone that guy? Oh yeah yeah, so that was bad. Iowa farmer but embed sounds very good and bad. You know what it was actually does fortunate part- was we were so tired and it had been like a moment later. We had travelled for two days to get all he lit up like he had been getting no sleep because, as the bachelor bachelor, you literally get no sleep, so it wasn't very exciting and then we're both like snoring within thirty minutes, and it was actually just a nice night asleep if anything they perform ones. But yet any dump me- and I was so because I was I had to be in this-
I quit and my hair had to be in a bun cause. We're are in a temple in Bali and I was so cocky. I was like. I can't believe he is sending back home like clearly I'm meeting his family, and so when he didn't call my name. I was like you bitch yeah, and then they made me the bachelorette and that's when I was felt extremely manipulated, because I have not been elevated and I have not heard you know. don't know how reality tv works, and I thought the producers were my friends right I think it was a while you know also you fell in love with a guy right away when you were the bachelor rat. Oh that's, gonna be way fun, because there's always hot dudes wanting to bone or get to know you. I be wet one hundred the one hundred percent of this. Can we just talk about your real quick? That was a question so like okay, where do where you mad that you got dumped because you wanted to win or because you actually ended up caring about the guy.
Little bit of both the bad deep down that I think I didn't win, because once I have once I was removed from it. I was like away that was not my guy reviving. I saw upset about that your role as a global player in the moment I was like, but I love him and then I'll. Never, get the therapist for the show came up to me to add me and I was crying and she like why you crying- and I was like whoa ring he dumped me and she goes Caitlin. He would where do the tears you are meant to do way. Bigger things are in Iowa. This is not your guy and I was like no shit. That was the first time somebody had been real with me in like two months. still filming and yeah. So then I went on to be a bachelorette and thats yeah when it was. It was fun, of course, because thirty men wanting to like date, you and in and they're all, I'm assuming mostly of hot oh attractive, but my season was fucked because they made two girls, the bachelor
and the men had to choose- and I quote, Who will be the better wife I hope that some that some crazy, but I wouldn't let the shit out of what does that back why stay away from the show? Because of stuff like that? It just feels a little archaic to me. especially when we're doing a show. Where were we, we just progressed progress so far from that lifestyle and it's so much more traditional that I would ever live my life, but I M so fascinated by it, because I'm fascinated by peoples want
live their lives in public. Our obsession with other peoples, relationship counties even general, like its core and also the fact that they picked you to be. The bachelor means that you are obviously the most interesting person on the show that all about me thing. They never ever have picked a bachelor at that's like in I've got tattoos, and I like not like you're all american sweetheart, I'm not the girl, right or, and I feel they usually had gone with that and that's what the girl was compared to me, and I was like well, you know what I said. No at first, I was like I'm not doing this and then I thought They wanted you more Caitlin percent, which my skills with and but look these guys like they cast the guys for who they want to be the bachelorette. So I I just told myself If these guys are all like, she was quick. Religious and very, like you know, she just completely different from me and scientific. all these guys are here for her. I don't want to meet them anyway,
like they're not going to be my kind of guys anyways. So I went and assume I sat down with like ten of them unlike other year. For me, these are these guys are here for me, and then I became bachelorette. Someone like rides in on a motorcycle me, a couple of hockey players yeah. Why? What of the belle of the ball? I may not approve when I hang out with like three guy friends that are attractive, I'm, like I'm, the prettiest woman in the world. Imagine it pedestal that that is the time that you fell in love with somebody right away: yeah yeah, it was now looking back to and I can see that the reason I fell so hard from it. For him right away was that he looked like my acts that one that I tell him that there too and Germany and I think tat. I was like oh my gosh, its two point, oh, and
illegal users have information on who used today offers are, although they did. This on urban is ok. I hope I buy your time, but also the skies like perfect bachelor, like material like that. I feel like you would ve been picked regardless, by ok, yeah he was like, and then I did fall in love with who he was through the season and that's how I ended up getting engaged too okay, oh okay, yeah, do like how many of them did you have feelings for well, okay, you know how it sounds so fun at first, where you're like. Oh my gosh, you get to just date. All these guys guys were dramatic the girls, and there is so much Ricky shut up drama going on in the house that I was like so many of them. I like week, three I was like ugh like why they all got weird. There was three I actually like really liked and By the end I was pretty like I was actually
one hundred percent sure who was going to pick, but I still really did care for these two guys run like it's so weird cause. If this guy wasn't here, I would have to pick one of them like it's so weird to say, yeah but yeah. I really liked three of them. How many of Did you fuck three nice That's also did you do some with other guys, like fingering or, like you know, something out like some like cup, the boob or something or trainer. This feels like so long ago, but it's funny because in the fantasy like sex, is important to me in a relationship it. If I'm going to marry you and get engaged you on this show like intimacy and having sex is going to be important to me and when given the opportunity to you know take the relationships as far as you possibly can to see is like I was so set on Sean. But what, if something intimate with been changed everything, and then we had the true beautiful restrained, unlike woe, so I would die, was like with employment
excuses for myself, but also in like justifying it because I'm Why? Wouldn't I take due note of every man would do that any woman who is opens? Oh yeah, it's a lady locks and serve talk eyes on a platter, fuck em, all Kate LE, except that bitch and heart, though, that I got here the incredible opportunity about them. I believe Caitlin, what the fuck am. I missing a grey every day that you have to have std checks before you go in our screens and now either cameras in those sweets or no, not good. There's, not cameras, that's so the fantasy sweets does. When you get to have a full night with somebody with no cameras, or I got what happened to me, was usually in the morning they'll just like that. who says so pick it up and then it'll go do an interview, but on my season. They start bringing the cameras to the fantasy suites in the morning to see like Westar Energy in the morning. After all of this, and they
ended up taking? noises from my morning, sex and like debating it over another part of the show, and that's There is political, yes and so on slight change by women. Why, in the bachelorette? It's ok, you're! All where there are literally meeting you in captivity, to borrow a swell s. Surprise book ethical. What are they expect to happen? You're human beings as everyone's projecting anybody who does that shit on the internet? Anybody take them down. The internet is spoken, projecting that's so roundly, but what what did it look like it seeks to your life and then how do you make you feel how to handle it? Well, I. It was a roller coaster, because sometimes I thought it was funny and I was like the right. Those people are nets like this so money, and then it got to a point where it was my relationship where he was like yeah, why did you sleep with other people and then bat
all the pieces affect him it me, but yeah. So if you ever ordered and have like three minutes. You should Youtube Chris Harrison reading out mean tweets to me on the live, show because as he took it, he he he a friend of women, the S ears. He goes read the seventies trees. Just so people can like get them. Point of what you're reading everyday and there is like and been like you belong in a dumb stir. You are a floor, shut your legs, your d dean. I refused for my daughter to watch. You do anything and all the one daughter got exactly exactly what I thought, and so he read all these people are like holy crap and yeah. I got that all the time funny cause. It's like such a gray area of like what is accepted. What's not, oh, you know
that that happens in the fantasy suite, but because you think I did it before that. Then now I'm a slut. It's so bizarre to me, so I really the actually handled a pretty well until it affected. My partner so much tat, he was hurting to shame me for it and oh hell. No, what that says something about their partner, hello I got shamed for years and so it a guy yeah, what little bitch yeah yeah so that the changes never ended and that's why we ended because he was never able to get over it and thought that that ended, because I like have the most supportive and accepting human being in my life now run like hell, did I do that for three and half years of feeling, shame around be like that. Was it it was his choice to pick me too. You know I picked him as a partner on the show, but he had the choice to pick me as well. Knowing what had happened
and ego get the best of was being a coward yeah. good though so so I imagine when you break up with somebody that you publicly were engaged to on a tv show about that exact subject of whole thing. You gotta fucking, deal with everybody's fucking reaction. To ask you gotta people go, why you have a? Are you going to repeat the same fucking story, a million times yeah I mean it's, that's why I was happy to have a podcast cause. I almost like just wanted to your him like, as if you too, would have done and with your but I was like we have both such different views, why this ended
and his is yours. You're, a whore and yours is that he is not supporting you and shaming yield, adding with that card, not your problem at the rising, because he said your a horror, the passing laws you to clear the air, I imagine tat it was able, because you know media is nor gonna try to have a voice for you and they're gonna write articles and headlines, and a lot of them were actually correct in their linking up with our aid. But at the the day. I wanted to say it on my podcast and I wasn't like I actually texted him a lot in it, because I was like look at the end of the day. I don't need this to be messier than it already is rife burn. I know what happened and if I knew I had to speak about it, because I had shared that part of myself with the world and how they knew who I was, and they were. Vested in my relationship that I thought it was fair enough I had to at least share like what had pretty much happened,
without making it even messier than it was so it was. I hated Mitt, putting out best statement like we'll remain friends and it said, but I was Google bullshit it's all that to appease people, gather and appeal to this fake fuckin that they don't even give a shit. It's like yeah people, people have no fucking life man down, now you then move on to meet the person that you are engaged to now. So what's interesting as I was trying to process the break for the year for a year while they knew it wasn't going to work. So in that, Last year I was like trying to trap all I want to spend time with family, and I just like giving a space and trying to like models. We myself off the relationship, because I knew I deem Marceau, I feel like I had. I had already accepted the break up.
Fully and like almost grieved it a little bit by the time it was over and and like of course, it's in so much time. Now that I truly do I only actually gives you are doing well cause. I don't care right, then other bass. But what is this asked. But when it was happening, I and so now study and the way he spoke to me everything I was like so confident in it being done that I'd like it felt like like weight was just lifted off my shoulders and like your Marie God, I did not realise how on earth he like in full? I was feeling until it was just I was free of it and so I met Jason, pretty quick after I I didn't want to date, buddy from the bachelor world, I was like a fuck that I'm not, and so in my podcast I always interview bachelor people I was visiting a friend in Seattle to visit her her family and I was like,
who lives in Seattle from bachelor world like a podcast with and Jason, had just come off the season, and when I got the podcast studio I had been EL, that on the phone for going to pot costs with the bachelor guy. So shortly after a break up and somewhat by here as a crime in- and I remember, the uber driver turning around me and same insane. Don't let anybody talk to you like that, and I started balling. when inside an adjacent comes in and Jason is, like. Mr Happy go. Lucky positive energy, like sometimes I'm like you, can't always be here, it's an office, and so he put him in and he would we had this little tie and I was like I'm going through it like I'm really going through it I'm. I hope I can like do this podcast justice for you, but going to turn the beat around like it's going to be fine and we had conversation- and I was like you remind me of home, like a Canadian than it was
like really sweet, but I walked away from it thinking that guy needs to be the bachelor and he walked away from it saying that girl needs to be my girlfriend, and so we ended up talking for awhile as friends. He actually helped me with finance. He was, he was a and the we have a bank in Seattle and OSHA, so he helped me with like financial stuff, and I was trying to help him navigate the social media world after call, and then we just I didn't stop talking and he had. He tried it. He sent me a picture of a girl and he was like Scroll was taken on a date. Should I go and now that's always how that's how I seal the deal all the time like this guy and I are kind of seeing each other I dunno, should I tell him I'm seeing someone or yeah totally and then it was just game over from there. Now we're engaged and he's a nice person, oh he literally the nicest person at within five seconds of talking to him you're like like they don't make them like him. anyway, I like you, I like he is US
sweetheart he's just it's so funny. his mom his family's incredible, like get along with them so well why his parents have been married for thirty seven years his mothers, jewish, his father's Catholic in his brothers, gay and it's like sit you're all except dean, wonderful, human beings on the planet, and I just they feel, like my family, now It's it's amazing! Oh that's! Good! That's good! That's wise words for anybody listening that is being mistreated in a relationship because it's something we ve been talking about the Pike S lately is verbal abuse and tallow. Just not acceptable at all, but so many women's civically find themselves in this place where they never thought that they would never allow themselves be treated that way. If a friend was treated that way, they would immediately know that's not okay, yeah. Yet you get stuck in this. The bottom of a well almost where it's coming from your partner. Did you find yourself like
because I'm always I wonder what it is. I can I I bet your relationship that was like lightly emotionally abusive, but not not like to a to a degree where I was being like name called often: like when it happen is: do you know right away That is wrong or you just is it confusing or I was eerie almost ah, I leaned it's while the relationship I almost felt like I had to make something up to him, because I knew what I had done had hurt him so badly, and I knew that he and I knew that those were his demons that, like what I did was probably worst case scenario for him because of what his I had done to his dad and so I felt guilt anything like you, weren't cheating on him either I showed this was the one I have a show yeah. I didn't you you don't know what I'd aligned with eyes trigger yeah, yes, and I do so far,
for so long. I felt like I had to make that up to him and I allowed this abuse to happen. Where I got to a point where I almost adopted his, men's and then I became insecure and the relationship and I became jealous, and then I became emotionally abusive and name calling because it guys gotten to that point in energy. And then it felt like, like you were saying, the bottom of a hole where I couldn't get out until you really you know you have to Those demons- and I was like I gotta like go- family. I got to surround myself with people that love me and I have to get away from this, and so that's why I started point in getting away but yeah three, I am we're! U very open, like we're, you open with your friends and family, about that. You were kind of thinking of leaving the relationship or were you quiet about at gnaws very I told my family everything and I have like three. Solid, best friends who have had
for one since I was like seven years old and the other two since I was about like nineteen, so I share everything with my family, my dad specifically because he is just like. So he's just so of I've wisest so tv so wise, but he really is, and he really knows like like what matters in life and how people should be treated and he can just turn say it in such a simple way where you're ground yeah, so I was very open with my family about it, that's good, that's good! Where did you did they say like for calling you, those Terry, oh yeah, it's it's funny because dad being the compassionate man he is. He was like Caitlin, I'm going to I to Nashville and if Party, to open to it. I'm gonna have a conversation with him, because these, like I've, learned so much through. You know a divorce relationships and just through living life and making mistakes, and so he flew there he flew to my house and
a conversation with them and I guess it went really well, and I came all I was like okay, maybe something's going to shift and then the next day it was something said to me, and I was like dad. He said this in a ghost per day: It doesn't really sorry Gus FUCK, a horse, Kate leave why are doubts so sweet peas, the vessels, that's very ate like a meetings are like this: it's just like the the Aae rules in the handbook and stuff it's. It rooted in like love and kindness. Unlike gentle psychology, daggled in there and punch him in the fucking face as though he had a conversation with him like an adult. That's nice, yeah, so cute fuck, a horse
I like what you said about adopting another person's demons, because I think so often that happens in relationships. I was like thinking back to to other relationships. I've had were the Douro, remember any other relationships where you adopted someone's demons hood, Yeah I feel like. Free relationship. I have almost done that to a certain degree, it's funny costs Try to take Jason to therapy cause, I'm like so you've got to have some demons in there somewhere find that you're trying to sell my mom yeah yeah, but yeah I'm like I'm trying to think back on. like my one where I was really heartbroken over like. I think I think, because he felt like such a failure. not getting into the NHL when he had. He had reached that point it had been sat down and I at him feeling, like a failure made me feel like even more of a failure, because I was like
Why are we even reached any top to go backwards? I got just down here and haven't done anything yet. So I'm a girlfriend of your error, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Well, because I think it is, so it's like had then looking at this and that that it's like a pattern that we all have up in the in our relationships. How do we set a boundary so that we don't inherit the demons of our partners, because I think that's like one of the important things of being- and I don't even know the answer to this because I have to be really careful about. HU. I d like as far as like people with depression cause I don't depression. But if I'm around someone with depression, I have like a glass, half empty attitude for sure, and I really easily be sucked into that. Like I it's hard for me to even be around people depression, I'm not yet, because I'm being sensitive to myself and I know what I need and the energy to be around like how do you, how do you navigate it and and set yourself up for success without, like?
these demons. It feels like your quarantining but like from your partner. It does, I think, I think honestly, like my answer for a lot of things, is doing therapy and work on yourself so that you can at least acknowledge your own demons. I think a lot of young people like Thinking back onto those relationships where I was adopting there is, I don't think they even dug deep into why yeah those demons and how they could approach stem and how they could work on them. So if you have to people in a relationship that can dig that deep and acknowledge, like the shadows that they have lived in and lived with. If they can, of be aware of that and have the tools to work on that. That's setting boundaries right there, which is something there. I when I first started my Jason. We like what our boundaries, and what do you need and what are your non negotiable, somewhat negotiable said like it was like very at all
yeah, it was almost like business trends to local or regional yeah. It's because any for you really fall for each other. It's like hey. Let's talk about these logistical things that are important to us in a relationship in its anything. It's such a comfortable time have that conversation because there's the stakes are kinda low cause you're not like fully in it yet, and so that's like a best time, in my opinion, to have that combo That's a last part cask exo many times like a colleague who I'm like oil crush on them comes on the show, and them we can unpack how they act and relationships and immediately, unlike in the north, but never o angers, absolutely not unlike they never needed to know. I never had to go through the experience. So what really will to you in a sexual relationship like what are you prioritize? What are you value and yeah? I think again it's probably a simple answer, but it really is communication because I have I'm blanking on the word of it. It's like I
have anxiety around things going in there, whether it's dark a doctor. Meaning even a tent on I, like I cringe and I clamp up. Hurt me and I'm like go. I have to be to have the conversation to say like but I'm not enjoying this, but it's gonna. Take me a second to get into it ran right, so I think be its import. to be able to have that communication with my partner to be like you, I can me a whole taken when you who are dealing like you want to have sex like we're we're they have to set the mood I'm going to have to feel comfortable, and I have to like really talk an easier way through that. Otherwise, I'm I'm just it's not going to be enjoyable for me. Oh yeah absolutely
yeah, how are you able to have sex then, with cameras lake around a look around you or even cause? I know like the cameras, aren't in the fantasy suites, but it's just like there's still, it's still a very feel. I imagine a very public place to be having sex I mean I was in such a dark, I will. I honestly was like all even know where I am who I am like. I can talk to myself, your friends, I had an amazing. Was we rambler nation sleep there? provision in the south. It honestly felt, like I I don't even know how to explain it. It just it felt like, you know it was set up so beautifully. There was a night, but we're in a castle in Ireland with a fireplace roaring and like a bottle of wine and language reckon bear rod. Blake so is like was that ok, I'm gonna she's his cries
They had no energy floor at your like manna. This is like a disease princess Diana, I'm so tired of it exactly how how how does internet still kit at you staff or like how do you have you balance that any bones the intake of social media are like the intake of feedback, really yeah I I you definitely still hear it a lot from a lot of people. You know everybody has opinions and I have been on the last two two seasons of the bachelorette as the co host. So anytime, you put yourself in those positions. You're opening up in Andorra spur criticism and I I go through Like I always say, it depends on where my cycle is that, because, if I seem like, I truly think like
self worth goes down. I believe what people are telling me on the internet. I get upset about and then lay down man and it's a different point of my cycle. Unlike now my gosh. What's wrong, you- it's not me and likes it. All just depends on where I'm at, but I'm able to like. I have this app for Iphone track everything, and so I'm able to like look at that'd be like oh? This is why I'm responding this way, and knowledge is power. So I'm like trying to like empower myself through my cycle with how I deal with relationships with instagram with criticism and all of that Do you still run your own instagram? Yes, ideal I like it. I dont dive to deep into what people are saying to me in like Nasty Dan's or on red at threads. Like I tried to not pit engine, I tried to laugh at the people who make immense to me like so like somebody
women do seem to be so celebrated for getting married and having babies you're, not on your brother, seen on your own career. They want the people that are at home and have made those division, and while we talk crave for that yeah, you take but they come at you and, like aren't you, Three planning a wedding and like you're getting- older look at aren't you. I thought you wanted to. Maybe in unlike we- can be celebrated for actually working really hard on a career right now I flew my eggs, I'm doing fine log off up also like how old are you, if you don't mind me, asking I'm sure it's out in the public anyway, thirty six, yeah, okay, so I'm also thirty. Six people are are crazy about about that, and it's like anything. I also think it's because you're coming from a very specific world, the bachelor batch retro agenda has Europeans. And I have a more traditional perspective on the trajectory of a woman, but even us being in you know, living in New York City in having this off
we lay very pretty I serve and feminist You set out in the sexual podcast people still aids a constant complaint for all the achievements that we have. We ve written a book we did at TED I can still like people get me. Excited when we're in a relationship, and I can't think of a more boring reason to get excited like it's barely exciting for me, like I don't I I'm all the way on the other side, but Jesus it's just. How do you is it's like? How do we remove that from from the heterosexual female brain loved here as it was in autumn. I didn't, I dont know I do think generational, like things, will yet yap a little friend just because You know we still have people who have, thinking and haven't like dark, very open minded. So I think that You know where the generation where it's like, oh there, have their not having kids yet like we are that general
patient, who is waiting longer, so I think the next one will be like normal. I don't I'm hoping yeah did you did you? Have you had a conversation about so many things with your fiance? I guessing children was one of the big parts of that conversation. Yeah and what did that? What did that yeah? Like I'm sorry, I'm curious. What that look they because for me, that's a good deal breaker and so many relationships, especially at this age, where it's kind of like you know you do have to think out time but like I am not at all interested in having children and I feel like that really turns guys off. Well yeah, it depends, but I I mean I knew I do not want kids only through okay. Actually, I shouldn't say that I've always wanted kids. I went through a very small period of time where I didn't want kids, because I didn't want relationships in general and I didn't interesting a boy I didn't want. People to go through bad things or like bring someone into the world are going through that phase. I do
Jason, is like very much about having a family and can't wait. and I too like I'm just- I feel like I'm supposed to be a mom at some point in my life but he also knows that I'm I feel like I'm just at a point, my career, where I want to put myself still first and our relationship first and then look out be ready to have kids and probably a couple years or next year, but right now, I'm like so focused on things that I due to set myself up for success instead of family up for success. he's told the same pages me for that nice was oppressed freezing your eggs the governor office after the appointment she was like. So yes, three, a freeze rags like now I don't do it it's the best, it's so empowering that was when I started.
being less critical of myself and what my body look like and started celebrating what my body to do, because it was a magical, and you know that what are you get the older your eggs get in the last year, eggs gettin your body actually meant to have kids at like sixteen. yeah right and that's when you're the most like so each year, I froze Magna's thirty, two and honestly. It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I mean It sounds of hormones. I couldn't go on birth control. Hormonal, birth control sent me for a loop saw Michael the hormones you have to take to get the extract. The eggs extracted yeah. I was not ok for like three weeks but like what's three weeks compared to life for me now feeling that's that, most aping utterance, yeah yeah. yeah, it was.
Yeah my hormones, I can't take birth control because of my hormones and my hormones were all over the place. I looked like. I was four months pregnant. If you looked at my blood work, it would say I was pregnant. but the overall, like surgery for going under is like ten minutes very simple. We'd go about your day like you couldn't heavy exercise, but that's about it. Oh okay! Alright, that's not too bad! You could do it. Yeah yeah, I I lead I'm single though so I'm like I need to meet somebody that I want to procreate with, but I guess it's a good and it's a good insurance, like you said, yeah Don't do the any time, but sooner the better. yeah, ok, we're gonna! Do I'm like office. Should then don't. I was sixteen you now just six sovereign and those on a shelf. It's also like twenty thousand dollars, though, is it not yeah thick? insurance cover it. No, of course not
at what is unavailable and Canada for free or for cheaper? Is it works? Oh I don't know, I did it in the cargo. One of my best friends she works for over its opportunity. Clinic in Chicago is one of the best, so It didn't with her but yeah expensive yeah, but you could be worth it when the baby, I like it. If you want one yeah, yeah yeah, it gives us nothing. I ever thought about lots of people. Lots of people, do it actually, I think, a lot of like women female comedians, because we are a group of people who are working. You know so career focus for so long you lose sight of so woody. Why not yeah? Thank you. Much for being on the show Caitlin. Where can we find you? Where can we listen to your podcast social media handle? What what would you like to promote?
I almost socialists are very straightforward. Just at Killin Bristow on all of the things my pipe cases called off the vine and non Thursdays. It's called grape therapy and its basically on apple spot. If I were a refined pockets and I have my own wine label, which I'm so proud of, because I didn't just like slap, my name on somebody else's wine and jack. I actually put so much work in this wine label and it's really doing well and and it's called it and spare us in its spades Pharaoh's on Instagram and to top it all the things that really good. If your wine drinkers, I've got a penal law, a cab, rosy no gratia my whole buses drinking that right now on tour and everybody loves it and then also I have a apparel line for scrunch, usin, sweat, suits and hats View edit and it's amazing- and I think that's all
awesome some, you have so much going on good for you. That's that's incredible! Thank you! So much for being on our show. This has been guys we fuck,
the Anti slut, shaming podcasts will talk to you next Friday, guys we fucked is presented by luminary, created and hosted by Corinne Fischer and Kristina Hutchinson, editing and music coordination by my Costco rally, theme song by Rob Patterson and Jake Cosan suck my wet ass pussy for consumer advocate that before, but now it's an area, let's keep it. Who cares? Does everything a handler for dreamland caffeine of a man filled with work and still support the claim that killing my grandma but my brain again again and again, sober lives? Our lives, pesticides, doctors, delay in disguise, game play ot, rainbow roads, LSD, all my GMT, the brief bottles asleep or shut up your brain breaking sleep, my life with my life, the kids that get another credit card, late fees and the next century up here, don't come cheap. We all got a cheap paper. The fucking excuse might not be my pick for my muslim identity, Molly Zealand and I keep a one hundred screaming remember about the second. These.
Transcript generated on 2022-04-02.