The jocko underground podcast number 118 sitting here with echo Charles and you are the a good person to discuss this subject with that is How to treat other people But I'm gonna get it very a little bit more specific than just other people in general. Yeah, but how to treat people that Let's say I guess a good way to describe this would be in the service industry and the reason I say this is because you were a bouncer for many many years and I'm sure You have experienced how many years we were bouncing for seven seven years. Yeah, so that's a lot of Friday night That's a lot of Saturn. It's one of the nights was big down at the bitter end back in the day Friday Saturday Just Thursday Friday Saturday, okay, that's a lot of nights you did that for seven years think about that

Experience interacting with other people yeah so You got treated Well, right you got treated Get treated poorly. Yeah, maybe even you were disrespected at some time. Sure Look out a bat. Give me an example of someone. Mm-hmm that would come in that you'd be like mama take care of this person What how they how they treat you? Nicely. Mm-hmm and were they over the top that they have to slip you a hundo or anything like that They don't have to necessarily but There are many ways to treat me nicely as a bouncer, treat a bouncer or the doorman, whatever you want to call it, nicely. - Brivery, yes, works for sure. - But can bribery cover up being an asshole? - Uh, it can. Mitigated but there's always it makes it kind of weird for sure, but if they have a this weird

expectation that it will, then no. But if it's like, if they're being a dick or whatever. - Whatever, and then they later on say, hey, I was a dick, and then they give you money. Yes, it helps a lot. - Okay. If they just say say I'm sorry, even though that helps a lot But if they say I'm sorry and they give you money, oh you're flipped You know, what if they're rolling up to the door and they're like, hey, I got four friends You need to let him in. Yeah. And they hand you a. Yeah. Like, and that, that has happened too to, and to answer your question. No, no, that does not help. So the kind, yeah, when they come in trying to like essentially love. So what do you call it? So when you sub sub. Whatever when they basically position their self as like superior to you. Okay, and like

Right off the bat and real aggressively and then they throw out money kind of like here's your money kind of thing Of course, you're gonna let me do whatever I say. I want to do kind of thing Yes, that is the the step in the wrong. Can you say I'm sorry sir that doesn't work here. Yes, sir Now so - So that's the nice example, or the good example of someone that you're gonna take care of kind of, meaning. You're gonna be cool to them if something happens you kind of be on their side a little bit right if there's something goes down How are they treating you? What are they doing to you? - Yeah, they're being nice. I would say they're treating you like a person and not just some spiel. Yeah, I think that's kind of what it is, treat you like a person, like trying to kind of like what you call level with you. Yes, well if they can do a genuine good job with that that'll work for sure. How do you Distinguish between You ever had someone there's two things I've been talking about I was talking to someone about the other day looking someone in the eyes Yeah, right

Also saying your name. Yeah. Ah For me if someone says my name repeatedly It seems weird It's one of those things, Echo, where when I hear it, I'm not sure why they're doing it. It's, I can't quite figure out why. They're doing it. Does that ever happen to you, Echo? - Yeah. - You see what I did, I did it twice. - Well, yeah, yeah. - But people do that. - Oh yeah, fully in, so yes. - It's a little awkward. - I am very familiar with this phenomenon and I did some thinking, so it might be spot on. It feels like it's spot on, but I don't know, you tell me. When someone's trying to like when someone's it depends on their personality first off because some people that's how they talk like you get an official Talker like maybe some news dude and you talk to him in real life Like that's how they talk a lot of the time. Did you ever see Wolf of Wall Street? Yeah, so in Wolf of Wall Street

Street one of the phone scenes where he's selling Leonardo DiCaprio selling something some penny stock he said the name I think it's a little bit too much he's like John let me tell you we haven't had seen a stock like this in at least six months John I'm telling you This is he says it like that and I thought to myself I get it. Yeah, I see what you're doing And maybe on the phone, maybe it's a little bit different. Maybe a little bit different. I think you're right. But it still is awkward to throw someone's name at the end of each sentence. It just, to me. It doesn't seem right. I mean, is it the same to you? It is the same but to throw it in there like one time or like Maybe maximum too tight depends but like for example to throw it in one time does help I think but At the same time, so there's pre and then there's post, right? So like if, then there's just.

A real general way of putting it where if I'm talking to you, let's say there's this thing where maybe I'm trying to get something from you or convince you of something or whatever. And then you throw in the name. I think, Oh, I can feel that. But if they don't throw in the name, and then afterwards, whether you gave it, From They got from me what they wanted or they convinced you of whatever and then and they throw it in once, then it works. It makes you feel better. - Okay, let me get a little bit more specific. Yeah, we're at a bar or sorry a restaurant sir. There's a waitress where it just comes over Hi, I'm Beth. I'm here to be served for tonight. Okay, cool Then she walks by and you go Beth. Yeah You call her by her name. - Yeah. - I would say, excuse me, miss. You know what I mean? - Yeah. It seems like when someone gives you their name and they're working as a waitress or a waiter

- It's a little strange to me to be like, hey David. Seems weird to me. I don't know. I'm even thinking about it because yeah, there are all these examples that that it kind of like wait That wouldn't work given certain circumstances, but that would work actually really well under other circumstances same scenario. So if this weird wave that you got to go with like perfectly and when you can land it bro you are rolling but if If you do it, if you're off step, like even like a little bit, it'll just work against you. I think, I think so too. Like if someone's so give me an example of where it's going to work. Say if it's a waiter, right? Or waiters, right? Instead of, excuse me, as you say, Beth, you don't just bust it out necessarily. Like, Oh, I saw the name tag. So I'm just going to start calling you Beth or whatever.

He's just saying the normal stuff she'd say to every single customer and then you start going above and beyond what the normal customer does, then you're out of step a little bit, just a little bit. So it kind of throws you off. But if you're like, hey. Sarah gluten-free thing. Oh, what about this? Oh, you know like and you're genuinely concerned about the many now your relationship gets a little deeper See I'm saying once that depth starts starts to develop a little Bit thin you can throw out oh what's your name by the way okay Beth okay okay I'm just saying because you have a little bit more of a relationship that would warrant. You calling her something a little bit more personal. That's what it feels like. - I think I might be a little bit hypersensitive about the name thing. I think I might be overly sensitive. - That's possible. Because to me I Wouldn't be surprised if people said no, it's very I wouldn't be surprised if a waitress told me no We like it when you call like I wouldn't be surprised if that was the consensus and I just didn't know it Yeah, it seems a little bit too personal though. So I liked it as a bouncer you brought this up when, cause I noticed that shit too. When they're saying your name, you're like,

- Game tag? - Yeah. - That said Echo on it. - Yeah, oh yeah. - It seems a little bit much for me to say. Echo, you know what I mean? Seems a little weird. Yeah beforehand. So like if someone if - If the person didn't need anything from me, or if they were leaving or something, and then they said, like, it felt good. It felt good. Kinda like, okay. See I was wrong. I am wrong, but on the way in though if they're like hey, what's up echo? And I'm like okay. I see what you're doing there. These change. This is a pitch. It's some kind of a pitch like On the Wolf of Wall Street or whatever like he's going heavy on the pitch so it's not as genuine but If they're saying it and they don't need anything from you, you're kinda like, well, he's just being cool now at this point. So if I, you know, did that to me. Mario Lopez, you know that is? San Diego guy. - Oh yeah, yeah, the actor guy. - Yeah, yeah. - He's an actor, right? - AC Slater. - He's a jujitsu guy, right? - Jujitsu guy, yeah. - That's how I know him. I don't know him from acting, I know him from the jujitsu. - Wow, I know him from everything.

- Okay. - AC Slater days back in the day. - What's AC Slater? - AC Slater was his-- - He's on a kid's show, right? - Okay, I saved by the bell. So I was at, we're at the bitter end, Mario Lopez rolls in and I was like, oh hell yeah. On the off night too it was like a Wednesday or something like this he came in he had two guys with him I checked their ID of course I don't check Mario Lopez ID even though he had his ID already that's how you know someone's cool he's not like hey you should know already you know. Do you know who I am? You know who I am That's real - brother. Did you ever that have that happened? Yeah. Oh, yeah Bye. By anyone that's recognizable to normal. No So there's nothing that were like dude who I am. Yeah, I'm famous Diego Yeah, like guys who like everyone knows me here, you know but um So he rolled in or whatever, two friends showed the idea, whatever, super nice or whatever, and he's San Diego guy. So you'd expect him to be like, Hey, you know who I am? Nope, didn't, right?

Everyone knew I liked Saved By The Bell. They played this, this was kind of a big deal at the time. It was like a little prank they played. So anyway, what's the premise of saved by the bill? What's it about just teenage years the struggle the struggle? Yeah high school the struggle Is he the main guy? He's kind of the second guy. He's the main guy Zach Morris who is Mark Paul Gosselin So he was like the popular main dude and then there's AC Slater who's kind of his rival But Slater was the athlete who could dance at every he brother this guy could do anything go could dance. He could dance good He was an athlete, he played all these for wrestler, like badass dude, he had big muscles and stuff. Yeah, yeah, he's the man. Anyway, so. He goes in, the bartender, Casey Jones is in. His name, bartender, and then one of the waitresses, Maggie. They conspire, they tell Mario Lopez, they're like, hey, that guy echo outside. He's like the massive. I'll say by the bell and you and all this stuff And that's for real. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This was

- Like back in. - Wait, when did you watch Save. - Like in high school, stuff like that. - What's it about? - No, no, no, like college time. - What's it about? - It's like, that's actually pretty good. It's funny now that you, if you watch it now, it's like kind of whatever, but in its day it's freaking good. - Who would watch it, was it meant for, I thought Saved By the Bell was for like 12 year olds. - Aw, maybe, I don't know. I watch it as a grown-up straight up. It's freaking fun. Anyway, it was awesome Shelley my opinion still is by the way, so They tell him this, Hey, that guy's a big fan of Saved by the Bell, like his name is Echo, he's you know whatever, he's a big fan, just so you know that's what's going on. So he was like, Cool. I didn't know any of this, I was just working. So he was leaving and he kind of had this smile on his face or whatever and he goes, he goes, Hey Echo, thank you. Thanks man. And I was like, man, this guy's the coolest guy, probably in the world at this point.

'cause he's like this massive star or whatever and he's being cool and he said my name. See what I'm saying? - So it helps. - It does help on the way out. He didn't say it on the way in. - There's a time for it. - Exactly right. - So. Bye. Being nice to people that are in service roles is going to be a big deal. Garner you a lot better treatment in that situation. This is the main point that I'm trying to make right now. I was going The airport the other day and I see people getting treated like bad. Yeah the service people bro I'm not look can people be jerks. Yes, they can but it's also their job. They got to do the thing Like can you move your foot out of the aisle? Yeah, I'm sorry about that. You know what I mean? People get so hostile. Oh like the flight attendant Towards a flight attendant towards a TSA agent towards a waiter towards a waitress towards uh You know the guy behind the counter at the store like just be if you're nicer. Here's what I know So I used to have to make flights

In the Apple not the Admiral's aid. Mm-hmm And then I have to try and get seats on the planes like try and get the Admiral a good seat Right try get an upgrade on Delta Little excerpt of what we are doing on the jocko underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen jacounderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms So we are not subject To their control and we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast which will as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors and we're doing So we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. That we are we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen.

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