« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1023 - Christina P

2017-10-11 | 🔗
Christina P is a stand-up comedian, and hosts also own podcast with her husband, Tom Segura, called “Your Mom’s House.” Her new special "Mother Inferior" is now available on Netflix.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hello my friends how the fuck are you i hope you're super happy today and forever todd but about bar today is october the 11th two thousand and seventeen this is a sober october for me and for arisha fear and bert kreischer and tom mother vogan subaru and i have to let the cat out of the bag fortunately that i have decided to take the month off marijuana as well i was going to get to the end of the month and then tell everybody 'cause it's not a big deal it's fucking easy to do it's eleven days and i don't miss it at all but they were holding it over my head we can we can wasn't part of the original deal you fox i can do it it's not hard i have zero cravings for marijuana
zero withdrawals there's nothing dreams are more vivid and i talk about that today with the great and powerful christina it's key i got a lot of shows coming up ladies and gentlemen san francisco on august or excuse me august see the pot i forgot what month it is i'm i'm lost october twenty eighth i'm at the masonic the here with the young tony hinchcliffe that is uhm saturday october the 28th a bunch of dates coming up denver november seventeenth at the bell co theatre it's out huge place but the first show is almost sold out second show the still some tickets available the eighteenth i'm in phoenix that's almost sold out as well a bunch create some that have been added a big one is the will turn on december 31st new year mother eve to
ten p dot m show sold out that's the one that rings in the new year but there's a seven hundred and thirty p dot m show that has some tickets still left and i'm with the and powerful ian edwards who by the way is in atlanta this weekend at the thanks golf you never been a laughing skull to fucking great venue it's real small and intimate i think it only seats i think it's less than a hundred people it's a really cool place n ian edwards is in my opinion one of the best stand up comics working today all the dates my comedy are available at joerogan dot net slash tour this episode of the podcast is brought to you by square space guess wat square space is going to be responsible for my new website that's right mother new joe rogan dot net will be done on squarespace i'm fucking pumped about that it's an awesome plan warm it's super easy to edit it's super
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enter the code rogan in the referral box at checkout itslegalzoom legalzoom dot com use the code word rogan and by the way we started on it with legalzoom that's right he started the first llc with legalzoom to form the company that i'm a part of on it legalzoom mother we're also brought to you by nature box get yourself some delicious mutherfucking snacks i get nature box to me every month they have over one hundred snacks that taste good and are actually better for you and i pay for this this is not like i don't get it for free i try to buy is many low sugar snacks as i can and they have a bunch of great options for that i'm really to the jalapeno cashews lately those are excellent i'm into nuts not those kind of get your mind like sure cashews to those are excellent they have a bunch of really good stuff
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will deliver them right to your door and right now nature box is giving listeners of this podcast fifty percent off your first order when you go to naturebox dot com slash rogan that's naturebox dot com forward slash rogan for fifty percent off your first order box dot com forward slash ash row again to to to yeah alright we did it that's enough honor dot com go to on it too i do that all the time though that on it commercial lot of people like dude you say the same thing trying to rework it go to auto dot com user code word rogan you'll save ten percent off any and all supplements and we have a host of awesome shed kettlebells battle ropes all sorts of strength and conditioning equipment also sorts a healthy snack max and supplements and the audit academy the link at the upper right hand
it's filled with all sorts of interesting recipes workouts diets articles on strength and conditioning exercise physiology nutrition on a dot com code word rogan and save ten percent off any and all summer yes today is one of the funniest people i know and a part of the funniest married couple i'm aware aware of don't think this i'll put them up against anybody on the fucking planet christina ski who's married to one of my best friends tom's agora who's the are there the get together to the hosts of your mom's house a great podcast that i've been on before and if you have a it's fucking super silly and really fun and she's awesome and she has a new netflix special that is out right now it's called mother inferior that's right father inferior yeah it's awesome she's aware she's great comic a really really
smart person and i love her so give it up for christina visit the joe rogan experience podcast by night all day mommies put your jeans up high and tight chris christina i'm so honored that you did that by being put in the instagram post omg i can't believe it i don't even know what it means you don't i still don't remember being on your show and i was like what is mommies mean what does everybody call you guys jeans silly it's just stupid it really started with like what's the dumbest thing we could call the show your mom's house and then talk about jeans and mommies and it's dumb so that far but it's hilarious like your shows are very fun silly show you guys like obviously have a good time we have the best time it is like it's a tom and i normally are and then we just put microphones which is good it's so stupid
farts i don't know i love it i feel like to i feel like we we serve demographic like ok for instance i was at the rite aid i was going to use a toilet and this guy stocking the shelves goes christina p and i was like yeah you know and he's like i'm a mommy this is freaking awesome like this is these are the people that the people that are stocking ship and driving the trucks in like sitting in cubicles and these days the podcasting world of humans yeah people that are doing other stuff yeah yeah yeah but not like switching a show like if you're watching a show for the most part you're sitting down and watching it but it's like listening to a podcast you're doing other stuff yeah kind of clean how stone whatever and laughing and you guys put up as well like how much of your show is video percentage of your audience that's funny video stuff with me who watches yelling like what's the difference you like the u two versus the audio it's smaller
the audio is the hardcores and then and then interesting videos secondary yeah but a lot of people would have thought no way like video is always going to be seeing it is better this is an added element yeah but i have a theory it's 'cause our show we play like porn oh clips sounds and stuff it's not appropriate for the workplace so if you've got youtube on your ear plugs at garner state your speakers or whatever and then it's all fun and then fired from your job dude it's better it's yeah never heard yeah god dam i can't believe how many meter and i was like texting him like don't forget your family child with me to buy like you would yeah no i can't that's the craziest part now but yeah it's been a great show and it's you know we have you to thank because you're the one that told us to start it restart the but you got an apple seed
i'm just see should do a podcast i would send it to one hundred people but luckily fifty of 'em listened you know thank god thirty probably but some of them are really good there's some really good podcasts that have come out of my stupid stone suggestions are you kidding me you're the the great motivator the great challenger the great beginner of fat in campaigns and sobriety i can't take credit for that that fat shame was all burton tom talking shit to each other but that but then you came up the the idea to have a chance for the challenge yes the weight loss contest well we sat down we try to figure out what to do you know which we should have like something fun like some sort of because there's also an issue that's going on like it's going on right now with ari and was going on with them were people on the outside think it's serious it is probably a good time to address this like people on the outside i think that we're actually mad at ari or that are he is actually like not good for his word that this is these are jokes folks were fucking around
i mean this is all just end so all you people that take it seriously don't take anything here and less we say this is serious don't take it seriously like all that bird is fat thomas fat so they were you are having a great time with it they were having fun with it and the uh the welcher stuff that stuff is bullshit alright right ari's like for still one of the most honest guys i've ever met in my life and for sure it wasn't excited about paying for those guys to go to fuck in europe for a soccer game right it doesn't mean he wouldn't have honored his bet but then it got complicated 'cause i paid for the baton i sent those guys to a basketball game post game in calves warriors that big game it was yeah for sure at the time i don't understand do you get it do i get it go to a basketball game was the most boring thing in the world for me watch some guys throw ball players in the world or in those two to home insurance and they do really good at throwing the ball in the hole really really good at it do you like sports at all really
for sure though still don't know yet so bored us but bores the out of me and and time to try to explain the to me for years and i'm like i don't i don't okay they run five seconds and then the stock and then and then it comes a show after the show or the four white guys talk about the fucking game they just watched for two more hours that was making the stupid jokes bad bad jokes that damn fucking commentary there the worst you can't find funny or people that skip bayless gives us his name we had a cat a plane with that guy right now he just keeps talking to you with ship breath oh god yeah i'll do it add to be nice guy i shouldn't talk person i'm sure and they're all in all dogs they're all bad looking dudes we all you know what i like terrible boring thing
so i like i watch watch professional pool i watch hunting shows like my wife comes home and she looks at our dvr she's like what the fuck is wrong with you this is the dvr kickboxing mma both big bow hunting bow hunting bow hunting you know like a real crime stories last time with the fuck is wrong with you like murder killing killing punching murder is so it's like most hunting i'm so obsessed with hunting like most of like my dvr is like these bow hunting shows that's your job so that's your hobby and are you watching it for tips and and stuff like that if i can figure out what to do in certain situations which seems ridiculous like we just shoot the animal with the fuckin' near it shoot it it's one of those things on the outside it looks like very simple but in the inside it's very complex that's how
everything ok like surfing going well that's super easy no name that's like the hardest thing in the world to learn to do have you ever seen an indoor one no do they have these indoor ones i have woman austin bro you get on a surfboard and you can go on it for like ten minutes like they say it's an amazing way to get good because you don't have to wait for weight this machine so they have this huge pool you get in there with a surfboard and you surf like fucking just keep doing it and you don't have to paddle paddle paddle out turn the fugen border around them well it's also i would imagine you're developing those stabilizer muscles right like i was talking to guys oh look at that oh i love it i love this stuff like look you just surf around and you that used to like balancing so this would be a good way i don't like that guy just just kidding buddy full stack them like his face is gonna be a good
way to develop all those weird like that's one of the things that you realize when you start doing yoga is that there's a is weird muscles that you didn't know that were weak but he's weird stabilizer muscles in your feet like the number one thing the miller first are you into any of these my feet my feet would give out for anything else like this is so weird they would just give out your ankles you mean oh my feet like the like the you're standing on one foot in your balance so it has to kind of like do all this like you know like yeah testing and while that's happening i like my food like getting fatigued like the arch of my foot starts hurting and i have to put it down dan yeah that's like took me a long time to get past that now were you huge fan of hot yoga before you who came up with this channel yes yeah i've been doing it for a few years now no i'm doing it's pretty seriously for two years i did it on and off for a couple years before that but i got real serious about two
two years and two months ago i just started doing it every week no what's the benefit of the heat call heat shock proteins there's a and this has been proven but there's the study they're doing right now i think at harvard about this because it's been proved and that's on a there's a woman that i have on the podcast all the time she's brilliant her name is doctor rhonda patrick and uh she like one of my favorite people and her she's done a bunch of work on so on she's kind of obsessed with cryotherapy cold shock proteins and heat shock proteins and your he has a response to extreme heat extreme cold by producing these anti inflammatory cytokines and when you go into a hot sauna i think it's four times a week if you do it four times a week it reduces mortality amongst all causes by forty percent no shed stroke heart attack cancer everything it's because
so the issues that people have healthwise stem from inflammation it's information from sugar poor diet but you can mitigate a lot of that information with sauna and i think yoga mimics the sauna because it is so fucking hot in the room right the room is one hundred and five degrees and then once you exercising your body through the roof i mean i like a lot of doing poses and my arm straight out and i'm watching water just four out of my body on the ground i don't have a shirt on right so it's not like it's coming out of a for wet shirt just pouring off my body drip drip drip drip which squeezing all the water out of my body and i drink a lot age sixty four ounce bottle of water and ice during the entire class so in that that is in a class in ennis sixty four ounces of water yeah so is a tremendous amount of stress on your body from that heat and poses themselves and so
i would like to see what happens when the results of the study come back 'cause things are going to show probably a similar effect to like the anti inflammatory markers in the blood that you see from sauna i did not know that yeah song is amazing if you can get a sasneham like near your house why not words time at this morning man they some you can like install a small one but the new studio has a sauna okay didn't come on over and that's so crazy yeah i'm on that a primal diet it had been done sinuses diet yeah for like i don't know almost a year now i mean that's the big thing she says my trainer i take palade said she's at the information information you don't want to be in a plane yeah now i see i got from a woman once she told me she's a trainer and she said and she was talking to me about back issues issues that people have and she was one of them is going to sound really weird but one of the best ways
we figured out how to help people with back issues is ma'am get them to go on a gluten free diet and i was like what this this is like a few years back i was having like some neck problems and she was always like a gluten free diet wide she's like well gluten causes inflammation and a lot of people's like oh that sounds like some new which would be bullshit right so then i started looking into it and then i realize like oh there's something to this and then i'm like oh it's not just gluten it's actually refer find carbohydrates and refined sugars and all that stuff but gluten you know maynard from tool know that dude no but i know tool is he's awesome is good really good dude but he he also has his own vineyard and and in a restaurant in austria you're doing austria's i don't know and don't tell me that it's a small restaurant that serves a small plates it's like sort of like top italian tapas i don't know but anyway he has they serve pasta what is heirloom pasta and i'm like well
i mean it's like we use heirloom wheat because the wheat used to sell like we we we that people used to grow like way back in the early days was much more low yield and the same thing that people have done to tomatoes and a lot of things by making them more robust they did this to wheat they made a higher yield wheat so if you have an acre of wheat you get much more weed out of it but it has much more complex glutens in it and it's more difficult for your body to process so one of the things that i noticed when we went to italy is uh and pasta over there and it didn't give me this horrible brick in my stomach feeling right you want to die afterwards is this why is it different he was explaining he's like your body is struggling to process this mod and gluten modern wing but he sells this stuff that's heirloom sort like those ugly tomatoes delicious heirloom tomatoes i love this same thing that's what it tomato used to be like they used to be this like weird
monkey looking super delicious almost like a fruit yeah you know even eat pasta i haven't had it in like a year like you know every now and then i have a nibble but the thought of eating uh all of it now it's repulsive just that empty there's no nutrition right there's nothing in it it's just dog and it's going to turn to slap on your body you know and i don't like it now i used to love it i eat it every now and then i still eat it i hate the other day i made sausage and by pasta like that i bought some of that italian yeah the real deal you get it i think it's called double zero wheat the type of they have yeah that's what it is and you can get it from italy get on amazon dot com i order eggs that are like super organic fancy ones eggs do you
checking yeah example chickens yeah i love that you guys have a nice yard just get it get a little chicken pasta next see you i thought it was jamie was good yeah i want to get chickens yeah i you know in europe the the yolks are nice and bright orange shouldn't be yellow no really nasty dino that's why you see vegetarian fed chickens like they don't want that chickens want bugs and worms and beetles and mice they're little monsters they nasty but it's such a good deal like you give food you let him roam around your yard they pluck at the grass and they bugs and you know they give the eggs it's like a super sweet deal now did they everywhere everywhere yeah aug you've already got two dogs okay your dog's gonna eat all the check this gross marshall goes in the in the yard and just go your chicken like easter egg hunt so gross a circle of life right but just gobbling up
chicken turds like dude you're so nasty nasty dog but he wants to run over and kiss you yeah of course and then does he sleep in your bed till fuckin' way no no no where does the doggy sleep sleep in his dog bed in your room no no no no no somewhere else in the house no he sleeps in my office ok it's cold dog bed he's got a sweet little setup this is the puppy you just got yeah he's eleven months now he's a big boy now he's full grown up golden retrievers they get to be like full grown pretty quick he's the sweetest dog they're awesome they're such great dogs are so loving and and they're such good smart anally dogs yeah and is really smart you know like he he just he gets it you know if you could talk to make my body like he just comes again he gets it he's like the communication with them is very simple you know and he's just like always happy you know just a big sweetie yeah a good demeanor those dogs but there is full
can he chill alone or does he need to be with the person know he chills alone he's you know i can just go ahead bro once just got shot in the backyard and he goes out in the yard he swimming by himself which is kind of hilarious like the pools there i've heard they do that here diving water by himself and then as he's really silly is as he's swimming he's paddling and he creates these splashes and he tries to bite him so it splashed it's like it's so silly so silly i love doggies are great i want a whole i want like ten of them i have these little shed dogs they're called brussels griff on that's my breed they look like pugs but with more fur and they're just so stupid and i love them but they always want to be next to you i want to snuggle chris can i am yeah they want to be near knighted by wouldn't it very soon i'm very ugly i know i like that show were going i know i don't you know people that don't like dogs like what don't you like about him then there sweet
loving tender stuck to see you all the time there is a weird thing now with people that only like dogs don't like people that's too much yeah it's like you're personally probably sucks man the person that strictly dog is yeah just to be around dogs and people that's fine that's a therapy problem you know the next step is horse people and of course people this horse people my neighborhood judge them uh i don't i don't like horses yeah i don't want to write him i don't like him they smell bad i mean they're pretty from justin whitney know i know which i see her on instagram she loves she loves her horse what is she what are they love so much about these horses when he's crazy yeah yeah very smart like one of smart people i've ever met but she's fucking insane in a good way but but she has so much information every time i talk to after google something like what what is she knows out tell me tell me about him weird she took she told of a weird violent sports a new
you know existed and she was telling me is why people have a fear of public speaking this is something that she said the last time she was on the podcast and i said why she's like cousin the asked when you spoke in public was because you were trying to make a case for your survival oh wow that's interesting they were looking at you like you up and there's a big group of people judging you that's interesting i would think it's fair of alienation from the pack at the same reason people are afraid of success it's because you do want to lose your connection to the tribe because it separates you from the tribe well as a comic don't you notice that when people get to be a certain level of success there's some of them like some of them someone just stay cool and they just hang no matter what like ron white ron white is always just hanging out right and he's about as big as you get i mean ran away is sold out fuckin' arenas right but you know i would ronnie like hey man what's going on you know you wanna drink gives you a hug and he's the best right but like some people they
get insulated and they get weird and then they lose touch with everybody and their comedy suffers yeah what you can't be removed from the world to talk about world doesn't really work that way does it know i think people well i don't know how do you stay normal you're super successful i think one of the is going to do a lot of other shit like the yoga yeah doing yoga like difficult doing injure jitsu hunting bow hunting when the hardest thing i've ever done it's fucking hard it's super difficult super difficult to get accurate super intense pressure on the line when you have to execute a shot in a living creature and then you know just to get up just with the whole the methodology g behind it and all the technique and all the learning and studying it and just i get obsessed with things so by doing things i suck at like yoga
bow hunting in jujitsu you get more humble you know i suck blessed you too that i do with other things but i still suck in comparison to people that are really good that's really interesting i like because i started baking very domestic and i suck at it unfucking terrable as you have to think but i have to think and i'm learning and i and it's for the well in the joy of doing it it's not it's not results oriented and i think that's the difference between hobbies and career right yeah there's no who gives a like it there's no results that need to happen with you and bow hunting if they happen grade if not whatever but it's for the enjoyment of the activity versus like results you know like why should i play the piano i'm not going to get to carnegie hall doesn't carry so you don't have to write who says you have to get to carnegie hall just enjoy the activity hobby and in and being obsessed with the process of learning zero beginner where as opposed to
if you're some mega celebrities superstar comedian that sells out gyan arenas you're not you're not a beginner man i mean yeah and if that's all you do if all you do is something you're awesome at and everybody loves you and you go out what's up everybody okay like there's a weird disconnected have as a people and you see was certain comics i mean you see a clear progression in their stardom and their act falling apart right what is what and that is because of the loss touch with reality an what's normal in the world and also you get to fucking comfortable rag complacency yeah yeah and you start believing that you're awesome right you know you're not either the self critical aspect of you know analyzing your act going over a fine tooth comb like when you just did this about all i'm sure you must have spent a lot of time like combing every
every word mattered every center mattered every joke matters that's why you're really good yeah that's that's the whole thing like you have to hate yourself i so much thank you so much i'm so glad you said that because i because i i you know like i said i i've told you before we were like october ninth i was just some duche bag who sold two hundred tickets in portland and i'm still that person but i'm saying like october tenth one hundred and eight million people now have access to my stamp company it's a bit of a mindfuck but the good news is i'm still self loathing enough to be like you gotta grind like you still i'm still going to the comedy store sure workout this next and it's always the work of it but you do have to fly you can't believe the hype that you're great no you know that you know
all the various incarnations your act is gone through and each bit is gone through when someone comes to see you like we're going to go see christina i'm with the mommies and it's the first time hearing all the material and they love it like oh my god it was fucking amazing you know better you know you've gone through it all and you picked it apart and you know i always tell people like that i'm not i'm not the biggest fan of me wait i don't i just i think we can do better no matter much i murder is all of your of your comedy so and you're like one of the most thoughtful thought provoking funny articulate like out you know what i mean you're really deep and good i'm it i like i i don't believe yeah you can't you can't yeah i was talking to thomas of in this morning to we're walking and i was like that i think that's how you keep your career is if you you struggle is it was the first yeah you know i mean like you
i think you're all that do stuff that you're sucking not too yeah baking do the hot yoga do pilates plies is very underrated falcon it kicks my ass i hate it i don't like to exercise but after i had my kid i was like i don't want to be brittle right and hunched over and shady at fifty like i'm looking to fifty employees like war thing yeah sure wh core and that's the thing that people don't but it's like a hip or word use like coworker working my what is that goes i don't know what that was it really means what you really got to work is not your muscles like your thighs or your arms but work the stuff that keeps you up right yeah all those muscles that stabilize your back all those muscles that allow you to have good posture oh yeah all those muscles that keep your disks from compressing and that's one of the things that yoga does it stretches you out and pilates i get back into yoga going to tommy yeah i'm going to go yeah yeah a kid a up i got the sciatica
you know your body literally splits in half from hell this is two two bones right to come apart and baby comes out and then it has to heal wounds i'm two years postpartum and it's just now kind of coming back but yeah dude in la it's brutal i'm sure being thirty nine or forty when i had a baby probably wasn't helpful but that what is it kicks my and i'm bad at it do i suck a polite he's and i am i am make fun of myself the whole time i'm like this to have perfect form the best at this you've ever seen like but i do you still do it yeah still push yourself well doing things the check out i think his giant for any i'm doing anything because i think that if you get you get there are levels of proficiency at things you can get lost in that thing and i think one of best ways especially maybe i don't know i'm just looking at in terms of creative endeavors because like stand up obviously is so dependent upon your ideas so dependent upon creativity that one of the best ways
me to have other thoughts other than like just my immediate act and doing shows and travel like that's the worst thing that happens in comics right they start doing airplanes is there any airplanes alderman hotel jokes and yeah they just lose their perspective right do other shit like live a life yeah live a life and do stuff it's fucking hard no have some struggle so that the standup struggle doesn't seem that stand up is the easiest part of my day right after you know doing it for fourteen years yes or whoever you are done running another different should i do the stand part is the easiest part you know so sing to i was thinking about you know i've been meaning for fourteen years before i got this first special and i was thinking about the crazy shit you go through to to be a comic and like the horrible positions i put myself as a woman to it's a fuckedup 'cause you're like a feature
act in your staying in like motels where the door faces the fucking parking lot and you're doing some hibachi grill and some weirdos going to try to pay you with a fur coat instead of the money this week you're like who like what kind of sickness was i in in my 20s and 30s where i thought that was ok a you know you really would only do it when you guys want to start that right now be such a grind like guys like dl ray yeah they give it up to that guy that didn't even start doing stand up to his like i think he was like four six or some crazy about like that his fifties now yes he looks great looks right you know i looks great he looked like just a few years ago he got sugar completely that's right he was eating candy all day had like a real sugar problem he went to the doctor the doctor said hey bro you're going to get diabetes you right now pre diabetic he's like see this look at your blood you see
the show showed the blood markers of your on the way like you are right now officially pre diabetic what do you do and these are well the gummy bears and shit and i can't do this i can't use voice either and i mean gummy bears man it's a beauty candy all day long is crazy as well done so bad for him is the worst fauria that's the devil it is double yeah but they say your body doesn't really differentiate between fruit and candy add trainer using trainer nature's candy nature's candy bar there are countries some diet gold he used to live with cowboy boots on don't beat that nature candy here actually have yourself a wheat biscuit he went he is a minor yeah yeah he was tell me about nature's candy the evil of it and i was like that's true it's just bucking sugar but it's so good now go the other day so delicious nice ripe mango
they make you should do do that makes me ship that's like lightning it makes me shut light fuckin' coffees caveman coffee stuff opens up sometimes sometimes i share it like the other day i shed and i tell my seven year old about it uh oh she's like daddy you almost done 'cause i was playing with her and i had to take this horrible ship it just yeah taking her to martial arts class and we've got home and i go i'll play with you but first i gotta go potty and i was in like five minutes just like daddy almost done i'm like look i should it was so huge was almost going to show it to you yes i say the poop i don't say shit i don't know why curse in front of that i do occasionally but here's the problem and she was three when my youngest was three were skiing students can since you like to and we took her skin and we're put our stuff back in and we had everything stacked up but we're in bags we get ready to leave
um my wife goes you honey you didn't put your helmet back in in the bag she looks to how much looks the bag she goes schitt something funny three girls three year old looking at her bag it's great and my black shoes goes yeah and we were trying not to laugh to encourage her but it was fucking hilarious 'cause it was a natural like she's like that supposed to say that your daddy says yes well that's the problem is that our our son has to comics from god or do you throw a tantrum and any pushes timely hits in and we're just like like that's ridiculous looking at hey buddy anywhere else now to almost two twenty twenty two months and we're starting to potty training stuff so we gotta come up with the word like you said poo or so
we started using dump 'cause we want to be good because it would be really funny when he's in school is like take a dump it's not dirty it's just funny so we started with dump but he can't say it so it's turned to poo poo butt at easy one poo poo poo poo yeah it's true man you want to give your kid a word for ship that they can't say no that's right so it's got to be plan stuff okay i wanna make mama dada boo boo right very simple now did your my son insists on sitting on my lap while i take a sometime jesus all right after us the difference in the way kids to treat the girl the mommy and the daddy mommy they cling to yeah me did you breast feed or did i did yeah i did for both use pump thing to both mandel formula breasts is there just connected to you just like physically
you are the source of nutrients in the love you the source of life is x much going on so crazy phillip powerful it's the best it as far as being a woman in society societally it's not that great but i will say that like reproduction stuff it's fucking awesome how is it not well ok i mean you know we're still second class citizens honest women are yeah you know your power is not it there's not room i don't really feel it's not really can now blahblah it's not really but you don't exist in the corporate world so where are you don't mind but where do you find the deficit well in stand up definitely yeah i mean i think it's starting to come around but if you look at lake where where now it feels a little regressive in terms of where we were in like the nineties email com i would say yeah we were we i think the sources that is but that's i i die you cannot i don't know i don't know i think nine hundred eleven changed us made us more
conservative in some ways a little more insulated i don't know i think it's just a lack of quality i think when someone like you comes along but for real i've told you this before i mean i saw at the comedy store like four or five years ago when i ran up to like one set that you had and i go yeah one of the funniest people alive here i can't take thank you you're very know your soccer aging of me and i always and so thankful you're the reason i've got a special and here years ago and you're like you should have an hour and i was like oh i should have maybe i should get a manager and agent like i wasn't even thinking in terms of being like what were you thinking let's fucking i just want to be good at that i just want to be good but that's the right attitude yeah chronically yeah the people that are like i need a special now those people suck right like the people that are trying to do some in its way out of their reach like the people that are like you know i need to be filling arenas like no you need to fucking good ten minutes you piece of shit
like we're talking about like the crazy people write the people that are really good at promotion but really bad at stand up but then however there's people who are really wanted you don't have enough business savvy so i think there needs to be some kind of like thing where you start to learn the business and you become responsible for that end of it and i think i was not taking responsibility i think we need something about stand up is that there's a very especially today and there's a difference between today and ten years ago or years ago because there's more opportunity and because there's more opportunity because of theirs you too and there's you know social media as people become very famous just through twitter open instagram social media so all this new uh unity has opened up more ability so people are less stingy and there's more of a sense of community for whatever reason particularly in la has a very good sense of community so even if you're not like
the most business savvy you can be around a lot of people like myself like other people that are encouraging and then help yeah and then to tell everybody about their friends and like it's one of the cool things about comedy like you go to like tom's page of someone else is doing something in the bill okay check out you know full try to it's fucking hilarious you know check out ian edwards by the way ian edwards he's at laughing skull in atlanta all this hilarious and finally i've been trying to fix his two fuckin' laid back he he's out it is yeah and when he talks you like what you like come on come on come on come on he's like opposite of maine is vegan he falls asleep constantly that motherfucka will sit down and in five minutes he's out cold oh no took pictures of him on the plane the other day 'cause we were flying to vegas it's a forty minute flight he's out cold he looked like a protein dude it's a lack of item that's for sure apply doesn't eat well it's not it's very does eat vegan
how cold is so funny but doesn't it doesn't take any supplements he doesn't like make sure that he has a complete balanced amino acid profile to his foods and like and i was telling you that either though that's a lot of work is going to work but that's what to do if you want to be book jerk he said elk they would eat it because i killed it you know he knows where came from it's not enough factory farmed in doesn't have to participate in the whole factory farm system so i'm a cook him some meat trying to turn him we get are you know put on instagram i would love to see it now i am a film that should have jamie set up a camera tripod the new studio has a grill of course now as of course as it grows big iron yoder pellet grills fuckin' amazing so so you're moving on my next
weather next week enormous doo doo doo doo doo doo doo it's daddy's playhouse it's going to be a good time i went there excited circle but so we're going to turn in when it gets over there ok yeah yeah why is he was it is it immoral thing is it moral thing it's a health thing it's a bunch of he was eating very poorly he was eating junk food and just bulshit food pizza and burgers and stuff and he he like shit any made a decision for his health and then and along the way start examining the moral consequences of factory farming and yeah he's just really smart guy is smart super smart and just again atlanta laughing skull this weekend is one of the funniest guys alive i just work with them so mellow the malus i've known him for i want to like twenty five years i'm serious we've been friends we've been friend
send some shit the early 90s what when new york has he been like that long yeah he has bone wet ian did is in his a really good writer and one of things capital on the ways he started getting a lot of jobs writing yes writing on television shows and that happens to guys where they do that it happened fitzsimmons is also one the best comics alive and they get distracted by other people's work and then people don't realize how good they are at stand up if you get a chance to see greg simmons he is one of the fucking best comments alive and greg and i start out literally a week apart from each other are you serious same club in boston he's great i let him his best is lebanese a great human being too and he's super funny super funny and super smart and just a sweetheart he just yes and just ridiculous he's so funny
that's true about writing for other people and 'cause i wrote for cartoons for many years and i do feel like it sucks your your juice we hear your voice and then i worked on chelsea for a minute and wrote on that show and i was like i can't do as i say what you feel like you're cheating you know our own voice while you're working so much on other people's stuff and then not at all add your own sure and then all of sudden your thing is done and you're behind yeah instead of like at the same just thought you were when you started your behind you don't even know your act anymore you got to go over your material you're not really working anymore it's not in your conscious it's not always there with louis c k i was talking about when he was a writer on some late was at the tonight show or something i want to say i writer on one of the big late night shows and he was he got it pretty young too and he was like this is the best job i could ever hope for and i think i'm going to hate myself if i stay here because
the i know i want to be a comic i know somewhere that i or something out there i need to be doing so it's like this gilded cage of of being a writer yeah well it's also being on a sitcom will do that being a sitcom did that to maine or yeah like you weren't doing your full potential was working all day and then and i was still doing sets at night but i wasn't writing any new material at all i was just doing the same set over and over again and i started to sock started having some hard set and one night the writers can save me and then i went up late the comic store and eight a platter of dicks just a full like a flake cnn married they bring over the over the top or derbes idaho height everything up and train and i just realized like i've become a bad comic like i used to be good was young and i got the show and then over the course of the four years five years and i was on the show i just my acted here it it in every
well as i gotta get back on the horse and that because of one bombing set up like a year half later something like that my first album that did on warner brothers how wow that was like ten years in a comedy the whole thing was like velvet cage you know like it's like all this is it i've made everything's gonna be beautiful now beautiful now not because you're not doing your thing do not do you say it's saying ask me like well what do you want to do christina we wanted to want and i was like i'm kind of fucking doing it like the pot testing world is amazing stannis great like but did you imagine should be kind of freedom that your podcast get has never jamming fuckin' dumb meetings would have to have with the higher ups about you can't see jeans can talk about music got a survey people don't understand with jeans is you calling each other jeans like i don't mind if you do it once just don't
don't do it every year and the moose soup lady what's sad about thing and and i don't want to it i don't like answering people for stuff yeah it it i don't like yeah the notes did ridiculous notes do she unfunny producer just telling you guys how to do your show and that's what that's what it can all the time yeah yeah how many times you can say one thing or the worst deal when you were an actor when you act on the show would you get lines that you were just like i can't how do i can you know not a news radio because newsradio is so good and the writers are so good and the the guy who ran and paul sims the the executive producer the cree the show was a genius and one of things it's brilliant about him he was still alive still genius one of things is brilliant about him is he let everybody have like dave foley it was like almost like the secret producer that show is amazing
because he was on news radio right after kids in the hall if you did kids in the hall where is one of them primary writers he's a real good writer so he would he would see like you know the thing is if you have been honest income before you ever worked on sitcom no one of the things you do you do a run through so you do it read when you go down everybody sits down you go over the lines you find it everybody laughs the right we'll go back to the reading room then to tweak stuff a little bit and then you go to the floor and you run it and so we going to run through as you like you start off ok we're at seen here in the break room bubba and you know maybe it just doesn't work it seems like work but it doesn't work and they would be the guy that goes andy why don't why don't we try this like vicky why you you walk in here and andy you walk in at the same time and you guys both say the same thing at the same time and then you know he'll like i would like a whole new scenario to get this point across to move us into the next scene and he would do that
in front of the producers and they would go love it perfect let's go with that and so they'd rewrite the scene and put daves lines in and i swear to god that might've happened forty percent of the time i wow so if you see that show like maybe forty percent of the scenes at least were tweaked by dave foley that's bananas and did he get the punch up credit and then let it go punch of credit but that was the thing like everybody was just working to do but oddly enough phil hartman did zero of that phil hartman was just like stick to the script and kill it but his character was such a beautiful character to write for this sort of obtuse ridiculous guy who is just like it just completely you know just did get it was like full of himself and he was so good at playing that character that they which just now his character i mean he would just go out and smash it that's crazy i was also young when i choke him out and get to see it but phil hartman holyshit right
yeah holyshit yeah i'm crazy i was i like i like rodney dangerfield an did you ever hear back to school when he got that script it was kind of a turd and the story goes that he took it and he rewrote like he wrote jokes and all the virgins and then go and send it back to the studio and they were like this is hilarious can we make this movies like yeah you could pay me whatever it ten thousand dollars a joke and i'll plug and do it that way like that's awesome like that's how day full it should have been like kevin hart does with movies where like he has a negotiate you for the movie right they say i will give you know x amount of there are and then but we want you to promote on your social media what you put in your twitter and you say ho ho ho oh yeah that's a different deal this is all my thing i know what you want that you got to give me my money for that that's what's up kevin hart and then in the the like what they can look but but if the movie does
well you know know know know know know know this is your mother fucking movie you give me money so if you want me to promote it on my instagram my social media like that's a business he's built up a promotional business yeah kaiser genius fantastic absolutely yeah fantastic why not why not you should be compensated or that does your following specially him this whole deal so i mean most of what he became he became causes coming central special and then relentless the social media stuff like really yeah mass about it and i've she's really funny super funny if you don't have talent he's one of the rare guys it has talent and he's really good promotion whereas most you know most of the people that are like really like there's a lot of people that good a promotion but they're not talented right you need to some kind of meat for the bone it was great at that though i mean the og gangster of it was dane cook if you think back to was leaving mister myspace yeah i mean he was the first two
i famous through social media the first guy ever yep yeah crazy but you have to have that in you i guess i remember reading a people magazine article i was at the dentist and as a people magazine article that said the dane at two hundred and fifty thousand myspace followers and also like watt watt was like that since it wasn't oh it was friends right now my god so many friends i don't even fucking know yeah it's weird when you're like two hundred harding who knows that many people you know it's really crazy is that my space it's just evaporated it did it's really butts weird till but the when it took a facebook took it took his place that the myspace still there like jamie go to myspace my profile you tell their tale it is sheer and miley cyrus perform on carpool karaoke on lincoln they people love that
car karaoke channel people not not normal people knowing that's healthy well sucks why does everything suck it doesn't necessarily all suck a lot of it so a lot of i mean i'm on the apple tv i try to i try to find i like this a flying stupid something interesting about that is that they're actually going to car and they're actually driving right let him drive he's driving how do they film that we filled with go pros and ship like this is my space but this is so strange it's like who's on this mother who's going now it's like a news site like who are the people see if i'm on it still is liz she's a musician others he is a lawyer i did i try to delete my page long they wouldn't let me i still be there you're a these comedians know all of them these guys are top
who are these people you don't like come on look at that guy with the hair i know i went to see him be super upset he didn't shave make funny comedy pictures ever in any your career all the wackiest yeah i took the stupidest picture ever i i had a a fake mugshot picture with lipstick kisses on my face i think i tried to like put a bra on my head so dumb also amazing i had a business card did you ever do that i never had a business card i don't i don't think i did and i had as a picture of me at four years old like making a funny face they're so cute yeah it is painful it's on you have a head shot now now do you yeah i don't have one when you get
yeah people coming here when you sign a picture for somebody i'm like yeah picture for me tickle in twenty years ago you pictures man you know those like you see it pictures at the comedy club is coming next week can you put up a headshot i don't even have one what do they put up of you just like they just find some shit online they print it they put it up i see that's how i feel now like come on man i'm online print shootout progressing well but yeah it's all there you don't need to have my name at the bottom of it you can write that come on i if i can sharpie is a the head shot thing was always big deal in boston because in boston the there was like the old guard these these guys have been around forever that will the top dogs and like the local seen those guys were like if you have a head shot you probably fucking suck worked on their head headshot kind yeah like the young guys always have like these new fancy head the old guys didn't have anything they would just murder
the sweeney plane at the kowloon restaurant just murder no head shot try to find a head shot up and it's faded pull it out of a window to sitting there from the late 80s so true whoever had their shit together most as an open mic was definitely the unfunniest like well there's a should you remember you probably wasn't around when you around but there was a thing call the comedy usa industry guide now when i first started out there was a thing well the comedy usa industry guide and they would send it out to all the industry an i was always like like super in awe guys had a big page like a lot of it was like college acts like a college jack back then was that was the pinnacle that's what you want to be you want to be a college act 'cause of europe jacked you can make like one thousand dollars a college or two thousand dollars a college like holyshit and you would think about oh my god i could do two colleges in a weekend and make food thousand dollar crazy is insane and i knew guys who are doing it i knew god
they manage clean your act up so you do because they're all stayed at a say that that was the best when i started to it was he got clean it out otherwise you're not going to get on the tonight show you're not going to get on the thing and i think they make and then the internet happened and everybody was like fa q and your clean you know there's different outlets now you don't need to you know there's k it's not it's just not the same you know what's really gross too the mediocre comic that suppresses the talented guys that coming up you ever seen those guys that like tell you what to do and what not to do one guy who is the host of like open mic night in boston at the time and he was a great massively mediocre his act was horrible but he was like he would he would go on and even if you killed even if you had a good set he would shed on the fact he had to swear you broke the fuckmeat are you were out there breaking the fuckmeat are like what like you know do that on tv is going to be
my guys are on tv and they are going to be tv and you're going to be back here doing the same jokes saying the fuck word all the time like what like what about like the comics i like like andrew dice clay or sam kinison i got for you man you're not dice clay yeah yeah they lost her mind you where you are on the on the totem pole but i was like well some clay like this is not this is not good advice no no i remember being told back to that way with comedy i think right now for female comics feel like right now there's a particular dichotomy between like the madonna more thing your you know young and hot you talking about like sexual stuff early you're me and if i can mom time i'm on stuff there's it's very it's different it's not like you could be just a person i don't think so right now but why do you think that because i think you i think anybody can be a reason if you just owning you can it's nine i don't know if i don't know he just marketing it i think it's the marketing and i think it's it's just marketing see i just think you
you not seeing it i don't it's not that it can't be done i think people look at our types right they think they look like something it's already been carved out my yes sarah silverman she's pretty inch talks dirty i can do that i've seen that and you see like these you know patrice o'neal used to call them babies like i got a lot of baby sling comedy like you know that this might be dave attell got a lot of comedy babies in the dave attell had a ton of comedy babies because people would imitate what they saw that successful when saw that thing and you go i know that i can do you like that i could talk like dave and so there's these people that sort of like imitated his cadence in his rhythm and like some of 'em agree gisli some of them like jesus christ your bike borderline yeah yeah am in i think two it's easier for the audience to identify a woman as
this is the one i have sex with or this is monica now i'm serious and i don't even mean this is like a woe is me like web like it's just it's just i feel is either there's women that you fuc and then there's women that you that are off limits that are somewhat maternal my experience in the comedy world hanging out with the dude's it was like the best thing ever it's me was hooking up with tom segura because it put like a magical lasso of a limits yeah yeah yeah yeah ability right right right i immediately he was one of the friends yes yes i became a off limits per i became a person and it was great like it and i find then as i get older and become more like less the ability stuff goes down i'll i really like it i really like just being a human so if i can go with this now i know what you're saying but do you think this is all in your own head yeah maybe yeah if the all reality is right and they aren't we all living in our own
yeah because a lot of like these archetypes that everybody sort of claims are inescapable but then you'll see someone that doesn't fit into that at all and you go well i didn't see that coming you know well i'm trying to think of like the big debate female comics and they usually either one or the other right it's either mommy or ellen variation cool right now she's neither she's screen short hair and it's probably a ton of person right here yes i would love it maybe she just gets hers eating now oh that's right up to get your toes done and just get the box eaten right but i would love to hear you talk about eating pussy and that would be like my favorite thing ever yeah i wonder if she makes a face i know i did when she supposed to make sure she
she but she came up at maybe she's super gross about it i think she's super rose i think i think its people are super one way publicly maybe privately which is really bad you know i've always thought about that about comedians you know you know the nicey nice ones well not just the nicene nice ones but the over the top like defenders of women they turned out to be super purvey we know a few of those always get busted yeah like you know like this people you can trust to like you know if you know where you stand with joey deus yes no absolutely i love joy and i trust him because i know it that's it like i don't trust not comics i don't talk about their dicks are jerking and jerking off for is that yeah thank you what do you what's the would you hire me yeah where's your darks the shadow self for whatever you're not addressing the darkness the darkness comes out and
i right the doctor health comes other places i always wonder what jim gaffigan's freak xyz he said click i don't know he might be the exception to the rule the right because he's so nice family guy yeah i think he really likes being a fan i don't i don't sense that a ship from him but because via our yeah was it down did you need your the rumors now see i did in show business circles because briefly i lived in the actors world right when i was news radio and i would hear it here back then that he really yes yes yes yeah you would hear it wow that was like one of those weird rumors that would go around bill cosby drugs people wow it was going on forever that's why hannibal tonight guys when hannibal talked about it on stage and it all blew up which is kind of crazy if hannibal you know he just happen to be talking about it and in some
it happened to be filming it and then the rest of the world is like is that true is that true 'cause bill cosby is always when people not swear talent especially like he big telling young black comedians not swear not talk about sex and he's like you guys at least i'm not raping people and everybody's like what wait that was like the rumor was always around yeah although i didn't i had heard creepy a little creepiness the but i didn't know but it was that and when so now when someone does something like that to people like that's one of the like that's one of the creepiest fucking thing a human can do to another human and the idea that guy who was america's father right in ways he was our black dad you know he was the moral authority he was a black man who is mister huxtable yeah you know and then the fact that that guy someone ride them as the big serial rapist in the history of america
really might be the case because if he really did all these people that he said he did i how many people raped more he might be number one crazy insane crazy and the whole time and with their hair put in one slash two an hour our guitar drug in them watch them plaza that's fine i can and he's got kids i know that even more up the crazy part was rational someone else's baby get a mother unconscious it's so evil it's evil and what about harvey weinstein yeah who flew in his one everyone knew about two apparently apparently yeah that's the yom looks like does the cliche right the disgusting
boss of the studio that wants to suck his dick had to get a role i know it's funny because you do you think like well is that kinda why you become like a show business executive to get checks not to rape checks sexual assault is all right off the table but but did he stand rape or did now it's coming that there's there's rape his last i checked today i know he's and he is not a looker like definitely looks like you type of guy that would be the type of guy is yeah which is what's up suicide threat prompts police response daughter this morning and they had to she called nine damn is going to kill himself be so overwhelmed with guilt and fear and remorse and just self hatred and you know he sounds like an addict you yeah yeah and that he's also probably a power addict you know like he's this guy who's like this
gluttonous man like if you look at his physical self right his face is overflowing his collar and just gluttonously more food i was the coke yeah you know yes this gluttonous existence it's not like a measured sought out contemplated of introspective existence where is just trying to joyce time here like wow how lucky i am that i get to do this and make these amazing none of these you guys are all great like that's i expect from like steven spielberg all right specs steve spielberg to be like this really like introspective full guys right enjoying the process of making amazing movies right but this guy but he's a creative thing harveys an executive guy right the money guy everything and coke and scrap yard suck my dick it is so nasty so grow but ok now on the other hand on the
their hand i was like you know hollywood is such a labyrinth in terms of like getting shit done and getting deals clothes and how this does this happen it would kind of nice to be like you want netflix special just inside and then i could be like oh that's all i have to do is suck that guys yeah come over here you nasty funk and then there's a special right way easier but you have to have a conversation with tommy listen tommy this is not sex yeah this is this is this job it's work right and then it's like cut and dry and it's an exchange you know i was in law school for two weeks in i remember weeks two weeks and i dropped out in contract law it's an exchange of something for something else right seems fuqing pretty straightforward prostitution is right is one of the weirdest things that massages legal but prostitution isn't isn't that something that is
because we do not like general pleasure not like general pleasure for cash like general pleasure has to be for love this to be loved and has to be given free it's the only thing in civilization that require to be given away for free everything else you can exchange money for interesting change money for food right it's not if of someone cooks for you right so that's normal so total thing but it's a very intimate thing feeding some yes yes of course it's loud hair salon the washer head to give you a head massage perspective that's one thing i miss about having her rub my head feeling in the world massage or foot massage people love foot massage i bet there's people out there that like foot massages more than like head up yeah for sure sure sure but then you put a camera in front of two both our king now it's legal you pam so what's retarded
that makes no sense babies yeah we're gonna babies because you can come modify that and that's a capitalistic thing maybe it's more common fiable as a product honestly i think there's two two factors one is the tax factor it's very difficult it taxes from people that are prostitutes in like not on on on on on no not at what we're that money going give us are cut and then the the other thing is the sex trafficking sex slavery aspect like protecting people that are sex traffickers because like you know you could have someone that was sold into sex slavery or you know in some way bartered there trip to america and had some sort of a sex slave deal that's where it gets fuckd up but there's been arguments that what makes that exist in the first place is that prostitution is legal here yes prostitution was legal it would be that
if it all go away much like the argument is with illegal drugs like if you made marijuana legal you wouldn't as much of the mexican drug you know you are singing you know you are seeing in america of course it's retarded an wait but wait the harvey he was the guy that give girls the shoulder rubs them massage him all size them didn't as him he would do according to these girls i don't know if it's true but he would be the got a beer i'll be right back he comes back in a bathrobe he's a bathrobe guy and but here's the thing i don't mean to make light of anybody sexual assault or whatever it was harassment but other work on the roof again team wonderful and but but what i eat but here's a how many women said yes that is fully a foreclosure yeah i was his move what we're seeing is his missed pitches right right here i gotta fucking triples in homeruns knocked a lot
balls out of the park with occasionally he was with him occasionally he was like this one of the bad boys and she's like off you pig as like welcome just come back to my room no no it's like shut down what happened are we just wish it wasn't connecting it wasn't connecting but listen i got all those a girl wants to be in the next fucking movie and avatar sixteen and right and she's willing to do the thing to get the part and that's kind of okay yeah the intense like that guys they can get the part and get your money and get on with it how many girls read the story when it broke and could still taste the asparagus we are flavored come the cocaine and vodka in his loads and the like a phlegmy like moan
he's a kind again as that's the white spittle in the corners of his mouth when he talks to you trying to hit on you go little boy bubble bars he missed his nasty nancy but that's a gluttonous man how to control it's not attractive is definitely not my favorite too is that he would jerk off did you hear this but he always green he wants to exist off of his loads but that's such a desperate thing like overcoming it can i have it no he stay here then you know like it's so maybe just dive in the grenade thank you have a thank you but i also like thinking to a i've seen so many dudes jerking off in public like homeless guys
i never got anything for it is it you know good point yeah yeah guys looked just fine here's about male sex versus female sex right is the accepting part of female sex verses the giving like trying to get take this ticket yeah got and the other thing is that men take it literally are constantly building come yeah while you're alive you come is backing up so if you're not like we have a bit in my art that was it was really based on advice that i used to give friend when i go we're going to be americans i listen jerk off first and then think about it i give your if you're having a hard time with someone you don't know what to do and you're gonna see them jerk off first and then see them and then you'll be able to deal with them without any sexual lust you won't be making
this is me as a as a young man this is a real issue with me when i was in my twenties 'cause i was so horny it was like i was a drug addict so i'd be like it would be like making agreements or self yeah she's annoying but she's going to let me have sex with her so listen just let's just change their behavior and mold to what she likes then you'll get the fockers that's what you need like otherwise just be beaten up but or one time i was supposed to go out with this girl and she was just so preposterously annoying it was so for us reading she just was always negative and before we went out before i went to go get her i've jerked and i was sitting there i was going what am i doing i don't even enjoy her company like she's not compatible with me like i don't if you can view just like someone as a person and you like having sex with him that's a relationship yes but if you only like having six of them you have some sort of a weird barter deal and that's a lot of
then a lot of you get and i'm sure a lot of women probably too but i can only speak for men like men to get involved in these relationships where you're really just in a relationship so that you have a continuous supply of sex especially when you're young and stupid when you're twenty years old you're basically a monkey you know you just like a little a person just trying to fuck and you just or lover she's really cool and why do you love because she smells good 'cause that it's feel good in your mouth like what is really going on right do you actually enjoy her company as a human being outside of sex doesn't matter right most of the time you don't and so if you just zhirkov first and then hang out with someone you actually like them then you have a real relationship like old i really like you i thank you yeah you clear out the the pipe is right you clear out the testosterone and now you to just think clearly it's super smart but i think i mean i'm just guessing i've never
no a media mogul but i would imagine there's a bunch of was going on first of all there's a bunch of people that are constantly kissing is asking and rubbing i saw a picture of him with renee zellweger and renee zellweger was like cuddling up with him and she had her hand on the many others arm on her and then some other celebrity to his right and there were like yuck yuck yuck it up but he was like pawn her he had a hold of her and i would imagine that there's all these people that recognize that he's a psych epicenter of power and success and you want harvey weinstein of miramax to love you and you would get close to him and you have a couple of drinks and you're doing coke together yeah right hand on his larry added an he's got russell crowe to his right and renee zellweger to his left and she's smiling they're probably hammered everyone's on xanax next thing you know he's got his dick in her butt
it's crazy needs a she's bridget jones diary number two number six great john i don't know if that really happened now but my point is that it's not just that he was predatory it was also that he lived i'm just guessing ok i'm not an apologist folks but i would imagine that he lived in this world where he was like roy lt he was essentially like the king of this empire right so all these employees is one of articles today i think it's from the telegraph this guy was saying that he was at a party or one of his friends at a party and they were having a conversation with this girl who worked for harvey ann harvey just said her name from across the room in her face went pale and she just ran away from
to run to hurley didn't say excuse maine i'll be right back just ran out of fear who knows that is obviously be interpretation after the fact right it could be exaggeration of what the actual circumstances were to fit a narrative but you got imagine this guy's just multi multi millionaire just orgiastic gluttonous java the hutt motherfucker just getting us make certain just we're going to be the biggest and then but there's also these girls they can't get and he's like close to them close to then that's bad but the anger right listen cristina thank you the one that goes hand on you want over the best come into my room let's talk about this i've got a proposal i've got a proposal we come up to his room he's in a bathrobe on like what is there just give me a massage then my neck is tense
do you like coke rocks what about cocaine caveat arco can carry out together that is is unbelievably him and i have say and i know hugh hefner was a big mogul and he did a lot of cool shit not for me that would be a tough gig to like living in the mansion being one of the girls like come over for movie night you know and he's in his pajamas and you know that he but sex them because you don't want to get anyone pregnant so that's what i read and what is it holly holly madison wrote but a look into her pocket yeah dawaly medicines the the pastry who the is he but that's them so that they didn't have to worry about birth control
correct and then there's a lot of like he would make the girls make out in front of him and then he would masturbate too it's also kind of i think is a way of avoiding possible pregnancies wow and probably developed a strategy over years of like ducking pregnancies wow that's weird thing to write to like be putting yourself out there as this person with a lot of money who really likes young girls in the young girls go all i have to do is catch one load it slowed down client stories about athletes that girls put holes in the condoms or the golden girls take the condoms out of the trash and squirt scored into their imagine how was i born mommy well it's a lovely story you mommy your mommy took a condom like one of them pastry bags and squirted that fucker in the i think well your mother fish
i think on him out of the trash that's crazy tended to throw it in the toilet but i had one saved in my mouth spit that one in the toilet and that's why you're alive wild while but then i heard that playboy mansion she wrote that it was run down and that they have like bunk beds and rooms and like it's not it wasn't as glamorous as everybody i can attest that i've actor yeah okay here factor a playmate addition and i was like huh this is an i got to go see that at the grotto the grotto was the people they were very nice the girls are very nice but there's like there's a thing that you're experiencing was like they don't have a whole lot of options so it's like it's an option for them to be a part of the and some of them loved it for sure some of 'em it was what they wanted and for some of 'em there's like a sadness to it it's like
and is also the some of 'em when we did fear factor like some of them were like older playmates admin playmates like ten years ago or fifteen years so there like pushing thirty maybe holder on and they like what am i going to do soon like what am i going in five years what i'm going to do in ten years and then there's not a lot of answers on the horizon so they'll you know go looking for maybe some old rich husband type character or maybe some way out finding selene you know maybe of some business they can start you know some clothing line like everyone's got a like a house on the scan but this actually don't really have a career they have like this sort of like opening into this world and then they would have the mansion parties right which i went who won for the marijuana policy project i hosted this thing this event and it was as rich is very weird and i was like they have bands
lane and stuff and you just walking around and just pot everywhere and everyone stone other mind it was extra surreal because of the pot factor but like you go by like where he had pets like birds and monkeys and shaped like what is this is but i it's but it's just the then there was no playmates that one that was weird because that was one of the ones who rent out and so i don't like his lecherous guys went there there little man went out they rented it out suites in the rent out the use of the mansion i did not know that oh so you can use the garage you can come in the grotto where everything else comes like the general public comes there too it's kind of nice in the grotto i don't know if they actually let open the garage door when i was there i don't remember it was quite a long time ago but i do remember like the grotto had this phone from like the 1970s we succeeded bold asked fondly because i think the upkeep on a place like that is probably super expensive there's the phone look at that old
ask phone and all the buttons for the lights and ship and you no he wasn't going to put money into renovating that because he was all he was like i'm diane and carol i also think there wasn't money i don't think get the viagra mansion i mean the mansion was like a location that actually made money right because it was like destination and they would rent it out for stuff but i don't think magazine was making money i think the magazine was really struggling once the internet happened and you can get pornography for free actually see everything see thing yeah why why by playboy like that like and cp like her but like just see when they took the they took nudity out for like a whole year what are you talking about they did yes why because they were getting crazy and we're going to be back now i would like a lab now girls i did for a little while insists the sales tanked now the crash team of max
did you know on a military base in the british ones that they let them look at teddy mags like they can get max magazine and stuff not enough weird american military does not allow you to look at teddy mag since well the american military has a very high rate of sexual assault no no no site do you know that i've been to the middle east afghanistan and a lot of those bases and i've heard bad story it is apparently a giant issue yes that is very suppressed because you're not you're not dealing with like a law in terms of like civilian law you're dealing with like military law right right so yeah i don't i don't know what the real numbers are but i've read quite a few stories about that's a real issue and if you don't give him an outlet yeah and you have a bunch of people watch their friends heads get blown up that's the thing i mean this your your whole reality is the window when you're at war and i'm not excusing anyone for sexual assault but i'm saying like the the world that you're living in
at home and then you are in afghanistan and bullets are whizzing by now who knows what these kate what's got the kids right because what the the learn back home who knows what this is who knows if they into the army as some sort of a parole deal right that that happens with a lot of guys as well i know guys that had to go in the army or go to jail yes i heard that in the navy they take a lot that to do those deals a lot yeah they did those deals it's kinda good though i mean when you think about it i would choose military over presently i got put in the boat i'm joe buck yeah yeah yeah i think you're right i think 'cause i was in kuwait i think and they talking about you know guys out of active battle and they're they're just so whacked out and i think that's what happens when they assault women and stuff they don't yeah crazy also have ptsd you also have te which are leased impulse behavior beer and c chronic trump
attic in cephalus see in some want to see and how it was the actual words of love path and cephalopod fee it's brain damage mike sense it's what football players get would boxers get mma fighters get it people with head injuries in one of the things that is a part of that is that you get impulsive and you do irrational things thoughtless things and it's almost like you can't help yourself and they think that it's responsible radic changes in behavior violent behavior amongst athletes that that have it especially football players you see like some of the like really aggressive up things of football players have done like they they attribute some of it to see t e this is terrible we are the nfl in nineteen sixty two researchers say the professional bull rider killed himself at c t e house today because again story going of course of
course you're writing a two thousand pound monster animal the of his balls tied up in a knot do you have you have you ever done like the military stuff during it in an act of war zone no it's i i can stand a few years ago like in seven or something i can't do it again i was so it's just so it's so nutty you're right and it's boys it's like nineteen year old boys that are just getting blown stepping on ieds like i go visit poison and hospitals with shrapnel in their faces and and crazy part is the guys that are injured they feel bad that not out fighting next to their you know fighting with their company or whatever they feel guilty that they're not still out there have you i read uh sebastian younger he ever read any of his stuff now he's got a great book called tribe and um it's a lot of it is about what happens to people in times of war happens to soldiers
the camaraderie that they share together and that even though is these haro wing did you know death filled moments of their life that when they look back at it it was their favorite time of life is an interest yeah because people apparently his in a lot of people believe this that people without extreme struggle don't find meaning in life and that the call grey local life stuck in traffic eating fast food watching tv going to sleep like that is the torture yes that's the torturous existence not the existence of of battle and the camaraderie that they share the soldiers are side by side fighting for their lives and defending each other the camaraderie is incredibly intense and the emotions are incredibly high i would imagine to that that high state your life is at stake dude and and take care of each other and that's
true there is nothing more depressing than the gray the graze the boris did that sister fee and thing like the pull the push the rock up in in the rock come think that that use act yeah that's absolutely true the drone the of nothing existence i mean that is what most people sell their time for you they sell their eight hours everyday plus commuting to jeroen time this droning on and there are a lot of people a lot of those people are listening to this right now and one of the things about podcasts that's amazing for that is people get a chance to hear the way other people live and think and then realize like there is a way out i am alive i'm alive and my brain is working and i can think and even though i'm stuck here because i have to pay my bills this is not permanent i need figure out my exit strategy and i need to start moving on now and they start doing that and that does
that's a that's a huge factor in people's futures to hear the fact that other people have been stuck i'm now you've been stuck stuck in ship jobs hell yeah i mean i park and did it i had twenty two jobs in four years when greg from college yeah i'd affecting philosophy degree and that was you know totally useless and i tried everything before i became a stench trying but name it dude dog walker parking attendant production assistant i worked in a cannery and i've done it like without cannery cannery in chats i worked in the cannery lily and flick cans like these cans here yeah like laverne and shirley were to the beer thing whatever i worked in the cannery very very short job because i wanted to know what the world is about i didn't know what the world was about and i didn't know that i i just didn't fit in anywhere i was a paralegal i was an immigration paralegal corporate paralegal the guy at the time you don't need to have any kind of accreditation you just had to have an attorney saying that you were and so i just learned it was fucking crazy
yeah remember attorney says yep here's your stamp immigration partly because i i worked long enough not right now now you need to get a certain certification yeah i'm i'm an ordained minister well i did it online he did how long did it take five minutes meaning that there is no training yeah no i just like i think i sent in some money i don't remember a long time ago i married some people though you did yeah merry these two people that one fear factor really nice couple married them that's nice of you to do people ask us to marry them and i like i don't know that i do it again it right that people ask since i'm like nope i'm want to know and i think they're still together so that's got worked out bich as an addendum to what you were just saying about that cubicle life that gray life and i don't know if this is a function of like turning forty for me but i've had
this thing lately where i'm really acutely aware of my death like i've always been very essential like i've always loved thinking about my death is it frees me to be alive not four thousand one hundred and forty one and i'm like who i feel like i'm not going deaths door allocate i get this weird thing of like it's so short like you don't really have a lot of time on this planet and it's really weighing on me now more especially now that i have a child and like like i just want to stay alive to see my son yeah but then you realize like how much your life are going to fuckin' picea way doing it you don't want to do working in the fucking cubicle job you don't want to have you don't get many years don't mean you don't get many great years right when does your body start to really take a shit like seventy seventy your fucking rough 70s or rough thing like you have a lot of bad days i would imagine yeah i think one of the big keys and this is very hard for people to imagine
don't enjoy exercise is exercise size is not an option it's a necessity it's in assess city for body maintenance so all these people who go i don't want to workout oh no i just i'd rather just you know eat whatever i want and live while living you know roll the dice and i'll be fine if it doesn't you don't just have a heart attack and die you slowly rot away and then your body gives out like it's not a quick and easy process it's not like you and you the quality of your time is not the same the quality your time with exercise is far superior than the quality of your time without exercise because you're more relaxed he body functions better you're stronger you can do things you know you don't have to be helped so many ways like there's a lot of people they can't even open up a jar of pickles you know there's like their bodies just not good it's not working good you know that's it
i want to be that person i'm not saying you should be a bodybuilder these should have a six pack you don't have to do that but you should devote a certain amount of time a week for body maintenance and you'll feel better it will a better decision making abilities you'll you'll be calmer you'll be more removed from the stress of the everyday grind because your body is experiencing some press some workload and by doing that putting out that energy it frees you oh my gosh and i just the i met so many people on the road who came up to me and say please tell joe rogan thank you because i lost one hundred because i've been list him i lost fifty pounds i started exercising because i've been listening to joe and that so just know that people total listen you and totally have changed our lives it's a lot of responsibility but but yeah i don't fucking like pilates i hate but to anybody listening that hates it the way i do then pay somebody pay somebody who hold you accountable
and then you have to show up and they will they make you do it just go pay somebody you know what there's a thing that people don't have any money if you can podcast means means you have a computer right hopefully if you have a computer if you have a if you have a regular iphone or something like that you can go on two and you could play a yoga class doesn't one of you don't need don't hear renee you know i mean hot yoga i think is better because it's like more strain your body but guess what regular yoga is fine it's fucking great for you too yeah in all the also for body weight exercises i tell people that with that one exercises like yeah if you can afford to have someone teach you how to do it correctly that's good but you can learn everything you want to learn on youtube that's not amazing incredible i unclogged clark drain
time for a soup from you too i was like we have any money and the battle was full of up and i was like i'm not gonna pay some guy to come here and just snake this thing and then that's it and i wanna do i went down the hardware store got the thing but today but i got one of those once i got one of them power snakes great fucking snake the shit out of my watch my dogs in the shower and it would just caked up with her it was ridiculous i had just like her pie i would pull it out of the drain like these big wads specially brewed my my new english bulldog mix he's got a lot of hair and when i would wash i'm in the shower i would pull these hunks and marshalls the worst though the goldens the worse he pulled his clogged everything up so i just got one snakes hair it in there and it
follows or wait it's way down and cleans it all out and then the water flushes don't pump that drain down there though it eats away your pipes right so good you know i don't think i should have fuckin' become like a plumber or an electrician while i was doing stand up in the beginning like as a day job because i should happen to your house and you got a call that when and they come out they have all the power the guy who knows how to just fix your plumbing electricity is not a small job site not easy not saying that but the guy that no how do i do that has all the power in that situation and you're still vulnerable you know when your lights don't work or anything in the whole yeah you're like oh you have the knowledge of the power to do this please help me so you think you should become a plumber just to learn it so that you can do for yourself or get to do it as a job as a gig that should've been my daytime today but if you do that as a gig like that's not an easy gig to get it's not easy having apprenticeship you learn how to deal with the union there is a lot of schitt involved now that yeah and you know i could skill it is but
it's also super long hours like you're working you're working hard like plumbers work you know it's a long hours i was hoping i could make my own hours a bit more well and the good thing about some like that so is you have your nights free i'm talking be so tired yeah you need lazy day job that's what i found stand up it was the best just have like a nine to five they didn't give a should about didn't have and too much energy what was your would your nine to five job that you were when you first started making it we started work yeah well the best job i ever had was that the girl scouts of greater los angeles so fucking fun as john was part time an i would like help the girl scout cookie drive sale i would sound and i was cool on chelsea lately at the same time so i will go to the round table and then go work at the girl scouts like the next day that's crazy yeah it was fun it was fun that was like a easy paycheck they had to let girls in the cub scouts now yes now is advice
first it to the cub scouts are going to join the girl scouts the boys are going to sign up for that one how dare you how binary yeah super binary about my son now we're we're so by here in our house we just by my son of football a football book it's in the shape of a mobile and explains football to the boy should do that and right next to it put a little dress and see which one you choose i can tell you right now let me choose is it so so funny now that i have a and i'm like this is the kid likes dirt he's playing the trash can right now he's dinosaur say all that stuff cars he's one hundred percent heterosexual well it might not be might be just like a super bear had greater muscle bear i'd like that to character because if he's tommy's it's going to be harry's far carrying a wolf back here
magic is a little baby and starts growing back here like oh my god you're a baby but the fuck jamie went google babies with back hair there's gotta be like some iranian wrestler baby iranian russian manly little baby was fuckking thick back hair what is the youngest ever child that had been there's got to be some we their genetic thing like hirsutism there you go that's a hairy fuckin' baby jesus is that has ever clean that's the heraeus baby ever i oh baby oh kids got no shot that could not really a werewolf ok look at that hairy fuckin' baby that's insane that babies entire back is covered in hair i can't hear that it's going to be a savage i bet he's wolverine
this probably seven now just shack big traps and shared giant shoulders covered with fur yeah we took my son to someone else hippie classes you know annie they teach whatever they say jet like were stimulating his frontal lobe right now mike nair not yeah right bouncing balls it's called bouncing the fucking ball and then she brings out a box of dolls and there's girl and boys in the class and my son is like night i that shit like he just totally doesn't want it and then she she tells me you know we should teach him to like dolls too and also sensitive unlike don't worry bout it shut up oh yeah first of all like it's not interested he's not going to i'm not going to force him to play secondly no how to be gentle we have dogs in the house he learns to he's not a stupid idiot kid like you know but the forcing of it i was like alright we know flocking whatever
weird that someone first of all the the idea that you would know what a child should play with at two and you this person who doesn't even know the kid yeah right and does she have babies of her own i don't know i don't know probably should know that too yeah so this is like thierry nicole now that she's trying to apply to a living human in some sort of experimental way and teaching as dogma the s i knowledge and and so is the just don't have kids yet so weird fucking macrame biches smell like patchouli and fuckin' incense and they my is so crazy stickers that's cute they're choking those baby baby spawn australia ah massages and stuff that's kind of cool that kid smiling you know it's really creepy baby chiropractors people that yeah they take their babies to chiropractors in the chiropractors adjust them as well yeah cracked the next
born babies not enough money in the world of their mind yeah i would never do it so how do you even find a similar for your chiropractic for you won't get the out here and help with college earaches reflux basma allergies sleep problems adhd and bed wetting bandwagon and it makes them psychic he can see the future they read your mind shut the fuc up it doesn't do any of those things you fucking assholes course not baby crackin kundtz nap that is uh one of the creepiest things and this is the other thing to have the best possible start everything is marketed that if you don't do this for your child they're going to be developed fully behind every other well i have to tell you on the human race now for forty one years i'm not fucking impressed and i'm not worried that my kid is behind all these assholes because most people aren't really doing much anyway so i'm not so worried about getting ahead he's fine but crack in it
yeah he needs his neck cracked zero evidence that does anything by the way zero i don't but i don't know about it i do know about it yeah fortunately yeah i went into it i had a lady on who was written articles about it and it was all in vain to share a guy who's a magnetic healer in the eighteen hundreds it's one of those things it's grandfathered in that we like to think of as being a legit source of like medicine yeah they call themselves doctors yeah it's like a medical school it's like not jinger centering like they put leeches on you not that kind of well it's just leeches might actually have a medical benefit yeah but the only thing that seems to help is adjusting lower back for some people alleviate some pain but the problem is is like some psycho semantic should going on with people there like some placebo effect like zephiel better yeah kind of all time does not like you're looking forward to feel better just being touched feels better getting a massage feels better but there's no like one like look if you go
orthopedic surgeon you have a tear in your knee they replace your acl that's fucking real you know they really fixed you if someone just takes you guys ok relax i want you think about your shock work but it sounds like i'm going to get hold on i'll get it ok i got it i got it i got it you can get anything now asparagus and it's terrifying it's terrifying have somebody do that to you i don't like it you know girl died last year some playboy playmate should character she got adjusted and she developed some sort of a blood clot and died good and someone someone i talked about that and people that love chiropractors or are chiropractors they emailed me ok now so you're splitting a negative both chiropractic that woman had a medical issue that she did not dissolve just listen to maine if she can get through life and not have i stroke until someone adjust her neck how the hell is it just your neck good yeah she had a medical issue what medical issue yeah she
unlike getting her neck strangled like what is going on she she bleed easy when she hemophiliac like what's causing why doing that there's no evidence that that works it doesn't do anything i don't know i don't know shit about it i don't trust it though i don't let anybody it's crazy how how prominent it it's everywhere we had a girl tell us when our son was eight weeks old and he was crying at like around five hundred o'clock every night it's like it was as witching hour newborns often have time i did a cranky she goes this is our our nanny at the time she goes you know i i senses energy is off it it might be because he sensing her your anxiety in well i have a friend that does reiki and she normally charges one hundred dollars an hour but she'll charge you fifty because he's so small jesus cry that's when they do this like barbie thing they go near you enerji with the handwriting have you ever had somebody do rag you won't want to blow your fucking brains out
i had a lady do it to me and i don't know what it does but they hover over you right over your shacra whatever the fuck that is and the whole i'm like i'm so angry that this person yeah like what are stop it because we want to try it 'cause i heard about it and i was like well is it like a massage i didn't really know enough right it's not a massage it's nothing oh she didn't really know jesus christ rickie keep in session please give me some volume so i can understand how she's healing her vagina she's hovering over pussey she's like this area is hot i'm sensing warm you might have syphilis go to a doctor what's up with your socks been up on with those socks yes she's shutting out hold on shock start at the
start the third i look at her she's super healthy actually placing my hands on the client because i don't want to press into her eyes uh huh you're not near her eyes you crazy bitch no it's her third eye joe own sorry for approximately two to three minutes that's why it's infuriating it lasts forever i'm just going to take you through each one explaining what i'm doing super healthy looking as you go charlie wall so it's got to be legit so i can surely did a miser i know is wrong like a nineteen sixties kong food diagram right this is where the death touches all push my stupid chart i had a lady corner the calmest door and tell the cheese are a reiki healer and she we put my hand out and i go what are you going to do she's like i'm just going to just so you can feel it
so one of my feeling she was just put your hand out and just empty your mind oh ok so i put it done i put my hand out and she just hovers her hand over i go what are you doing and she's like you're not open this is not going to work if you're not open i'm like well it's not going to work then 'cause you just hover in your hand over main she's like i'm the healer my pitcher crazy your your mind she she's a shyster these are hucksters now is that they believe i don't know if they believe some of the well i don't want to generalize them into one giant group but some of 'em must believe they're doing something well i think you to believe it's working until it's sassy book yes exactly my i mean look i've been hypnotized to stop smoking cigarettes and let him that's different you only have to be open to it yeah but you know sis is legit and i think that's one i've talked i'm i'm see if you agree with this i think that's what stand up is i think when you're killing like safe
watch you if you're on stage and you're killing and i'm sitting in the back of the room i'm letting you think for me i'm like calling your trance right you're like i'm not i'm not thinking i don't know if i agree with her and maybe she's wrong and a like a dress i'm sitting there and i'm allow is like of your killing and i'm locked into you and i'm really enjoying the show i'm allowing you to think for me an i'm falling into like this trance in sort of away and when and where give me laugh then like i i have confidence in your thought process that a let you take the with the reins and i just sit back and have a good time i think there's something to that because i was hypnotized for the first time last year by a friend of mine seems name is vinny shoreman and he does a lot of work what he's a hypnotist but he also does a lot of work with fighters and he puts them in this state and it's your entirely conscious while this is happening but he puts you in his very very relaxed state and you go over things that you would like to work
undergoer things that perhaps bothering you go over things that are you about the past but what it is is about putting you in a state of mind where you can relax and think and not be over well and by extraneous information or things outside of your control that's real that's like israel's meditation is real but this where over your vagina and pretend i'm cooking here i am energy you're not open joe you're just not open to it if my hand was a marshmallow right now and for a bit because i'm she's like that she covered her everything it when she got to the vagina she stayed there for a long time she was like this is this is the area of your travels is where it all stems gives us my hands or they smell them so stupid it's just
people always want to fight like there's something wrong with me i have anxiety and living in traffic i don't like my life someone fix oh i'm going to put needles in your head and all over the place and these are going to dog shittin aftershock rod have you done acupuncture once too and i hated it i was so angry the whole time it hurts it fucking whites for me it did i meant maybe she was doing it wrong yeah is having migraines like ten years ago but it's 'cause i was on this birth control pill that was fucking with me oh no no no it's because you didn't get the needles you know why it wasn't open enough to the dolphins do raky maybe if you just break it right in there
now go ahead and make it first and then put it in your own ass feel the allergy massage your inner colon uhm i only did it once and it was the the guy was a chiropractor too so he had double bowl going on yeah it just in my neck and then he stuck needles in my head and i was trying to fix my shoulder that didn't work turned out just a little slight little muscle pull that i need to get over now what do you think about psychics and mediums bulshit art yeah yeah i think i go with i think it is entirely possible that we sense things that we don't have a an understanding of like sometimes you well something weird like i was talking about a friend of mine yesterday and i hadn't talked to him in awhile and he emailed me by the blue right i don't know if that's coincidence
i don't know what that is but the odds of it happening you got to think of how many times do you think your friend and they don't email you right right like why is it then when you think about them and they do is it i don't know but i think there are times where you sense things that you don't have a sense for like there's a feeling that you well you don't understand and i think we sent things about each other and maybe there are social cues that we're picking up on maybe there yeah maybe people give off pheromones moans when they're upset maybe maybe those trigger you because we're like sort of designed to avoid confrontation certain individuals but i think this idea that look at you and like your family is from i sense a farm deserve farms are far minivans no plants so implants yeah no but it is a potted plants it by though yes yes there was a potted plant than you are
close to a woman yes i am my mother my mother was a woman mother yes yes i see your mother i'm trying to picture her name is there in a in our name yeah yeah novak dylan yeah yes to to want to see this lady she knew everything about my mom a friend of mine went to a chiropractor another chiropractor psychic same should and same shit different he went to chiropractor knew all about my grandmother i go yeah don't you know your grandmother you about your grandmother right so you chiropractor telling you that you already know or psychic rather till i can't come on the car i now is a great healer about things you already now so the allen you things are in you know like they're not psychic right right writing you the point questions at the the the getting answers that the giving you leading questions you're answering them in a very naive way and you're giving them the information because the con artist tell asal to tell you what your future is tell me are you with
what the lottery number is how come they never pick the lotteries fox that's write an houdini had this thing where it didn't he work it out with him wife or something that was like a code word so that when he died he would go from being and have the word that they would know and it never you know happened maybe didn't like her so i'm running a faction known rocco's i go by penn and teller i'm friends with pen and love he just tells me it's one hundred percent horsh it yeah like one hundred percent flat out you know that james randi challenge you know that i was offered one million dollars to anyone that can prove actual psychic powers no ones taking him up on it no ones ever james randi that's the james randi challenge not even the wasn't long island yeah i think she may be abortion artists i one i think i got hosed i did a show a podcast in the lady was she was good because i
i think what it is is people can read your unconscious it's one unconscious mind reading another unconscious mind i imagine i feel like your father was in earnest my right i guess but that's the thing telling you things that you already know right affirming what's already leaf or whatever in u versus new information when you think about rogers it's flipping stupid oshit right yeah channel can i tell you something never i meet a girl and she's like what's your sign i don't like german actually i knew it you're so to jam what's your husband i'm like don't please don't like i can't pretend like i i can't i can't describe sorry sorry yeah god how can you not believe you're such a scorpio it's just it's just now it's silly but you can find traits in people and also two people that match all sorts of different like i could be a virgo yeah be a taurus
this stubborn your god victoria such a pisces that women are such a leo how could you not believe you're such a leo yeah 'cause i read any any horoscope many of it would probably apply what what what i really wonder about what those are bullshit and a real hot our scope thing when you talk to the people that are super into it they they literally want to know what time of the day you were born what part of the world you were born and then they're like well you're a gemini with cancer rising and your part cut stop it makes my asshol popular like even hearing it it's a million alarm bells are like dum dum dum dum i can't i can't again yeah have you ever about it forget how funny bit about how ridiculous it is it's just
it's it's it's fine but it's it's selling well we're searching people are always searching for meaning you know we're always searching for someone who knows something that we don't hidden knowledge the secrets to the universe because there's so much uncertainty yeah that leaves open this possibility that someone has like i've been gifted i have a gift that's great tell me man i went to a psychic once just goes i went to an audition in new york and i was like what are we doing a life ins yeah walk in to train station like going to a psychic so into psychic and she's like you have a brother no i don't cycle brother i feel like maybe you have a brother you don't know about no no my mom had me when she was twenty i have a sister shut the fuc up yeah she made up a bunch of stupid shit she's talking you're not sure what you want to do with your life yeah now i know exactly what i want to do like what this is terrible i don't know what you do i had a lady just tell me
before i shot my special psychic she goes i go what do you see my future and i knew it the special is coming and she didn't even know what i did for a living and she goes i see you is like an interior designer just guessing yeah you have a real flair for style i go i certainly do not this is the last thing i'm good at where two different color socks but look at me i'm going to animal like i don't know what i'm doing crazy lady wanted to go see here because there's a podcast there's a friends podcast they are mediums on and i thought it'll be it'll be silly it'll be fun and you know i got that suckered in that day i think i did i really did i i don't know if i'm being honest 'cause my mother died two years ago so i was kind of like an i now that i'm looking back she did totaly lead me down like you did your mother was kind of nutty though my mother was mentally ill yeah like legit choose a borderline personality disorder and then had schizophrenia
details it was where i could do do you have to do like self audits you mean aggressive therapy for the last decade or so before you make yourself type shape yeah i do look in your own brain go in my wacky twenty four slash seven yeah yeah well not twenty percent anymore but because i was i grew up with my mom my parents split and then i was raised by a crazy person and so i've had to like you learn how to think and what's the right way to do stuff and i like i said i've been in therapy for a decade so i've had to learn you know like i just had to relearn and it's you totally can you know that's the thing i and i that's why i talk and talk about it to be like pour poor me i had this thing but just to let people know if i up kind of wacky you can't fucking fix your brain you can re orient you can change how you think you doesn't have a yeah
if you go to therapy every week dude and if i don't like i feel it like i started see i got a may i have a whole regiment it's the exercise it's the he it's eating right it's sleeping in you got to do it all right otherwise i mean i get out of whack we get out of the therapy so i believe in psychotherapy like getting back friday and i like to go back to the initial wound to the root cause i like to go back look 'cause it what happens is you get woon did way back when right the childhood trauma the thing and then you grow up and it gets triggered by whatever stuff happens as an adult except now you're all fired up and you're all angry and you're so overreactive and you don't know why well it's probably not because of what happened today is what happened back here so if you resolve the shed back here then what happens today becomes a lot clearer and it works for me so yeah makes sense right don't think about what's going on right now think about why you feel weird about what's going on yeah now what is it
did my husband really just look at me funny and that's why i'm so furious about this little thing or is this something that's mommy daddy way back here yeah so i think a lot of us live from the past you live from the past wound you make all your decisions based on on that programming so if you're fucking wires are crossed you're going make bad decisions over and over and over again i would imagine that any time spent thinking about your behavior thinking about the way i think just examining your own mind is it is long as you're really doing it justice really being like so many people don't ever think about the way they thank you know they just caught up in the whirlwind of life the mom antm of their own existence next thing you know they're like miserable and fifty like what am i doing where am i where am i right or it's the divorce and then the remarriage is someone to be better right to fix it he's gonna fix at heart mice he's my soul mate i'm a
fair i'm going to do that i'm going to act out here how's that going yeah or i'm going to start doing you know drugs alcohol whatever gambling compulsive that'll clear up this stuff right the gambling one the weirdest to me yeah so many people that are compulsive gamblers i see that hmm to get that itch i'm so scared of gambling you go to vegas i don't oh i don't like it i know it's not from work there i have yeah yeah i worked there a lot you know i work there like three four times a year you know for the ufc yes and i now spend zero time in casinos yeah use to spend time in casinos 'cause i would stay in a casino and then i would work in a casino but now i just stay outside of the casino 'cause it's just i don't enjoy being around that energy i agree this is frantic gambler energy we see these people you walk by the card tables not just look in at six right well you like watching down
put an opium den yeah yeah yes yeah it's depravity it's low energy low frequency the lightest take the airy synthetic the time stops the i don't like that and you know it's what i throughout two is that everyone's got the ship the addictions the gambling the compulsive behaviors because we're afraid to feel the feeling you're just afraid of the field the biggest is that but i think it's also there is a reward to winning and you're chasing this reward constantly i don't necessarily know if it's being afraid of the as much as being addicted to the reward you know that's a tale like i was reading this article that the guy who created likes on facebook was saying that you know not only does he not use facebook now that he's got like a thing set up on his computer where you can go to read it and this phone is set up or you can't download apps like he doesn't like he's like that whole like thing we go to check to see how many likes you got on a facebook post to manage something like that like that reward
system is like entirely it's addictive and it triggers this this thing in people and that hi hijack your mind i mean literally like the title of the article is that like this technology can hijack your mind without question at the reward system right like little rats ding ding ding i got the cheese i got the cheese or see those people in front little slot yeah yeah feeling good just droned out then when you're in the reward system you're not thinking about the stuff that's bothering you denying everything's great thanks let me daddy good good good to think about that yeah campbell is weird one man yeah i don't understand it because you're really self sabotaging you know games of the storm hello oh yes i've heard this yes he's a maniac yes hundreds of thousands of dollars a night watt yes
mania that i did not know savage wow yeah savage noble what do you think what's the motive there what went to lee il ok nice i think he loves i loved him by the way as a child i did too i think so so funny i love being friends with them i love that i'm friends with dice has the coolest but like working with joseph talk to me in love 'em but some he loves the thrill of so no i don't know but what it but the thrill the way i avoid gambling altogether i'm i'm far too frugal but i is it the is it the thing of like i can lose everything there's a little of that there's a there's a the rush of winning to such as the no the notion that you could lose everything it's the rush of winning while dana white's a giant gambler he's gambled he's lost as much as a million dollars a night is this is
search is a search for ski president the ufc else high who i think the note is your band is dana white boy band member i'm thinking it's sean boy you know what i mean how lately legally i love break dancing i love that whole i love that era there's a instagram page called stance elements okay the the guys are on another level yeah this young korean kid the ship he does like defies physics the column like pocket kim or something think that is his name he's on that stance elements page do there's a school you can go to and learn to alarm i have a hard time with english that's the guy yeah what is the name bobby pocket people in the pocket okay go to his
watch this guy like this yet but no you can't believe that she can do look at this look at this thing look at this dude seriously what in the fuc what this come on i mean what in the fuck this guy is on such another paul than anything i've ever seen before he's like taking this to some complete a new place so read he was on so i was looking at his instagram page instagram page link comparison this working yeah and this was on it this guy was on it and i was like what in the fuc and then started following stance elements on instagram since our phone lines on instagram i realize like oh my god no idea this was even happening like there's an it's girls too there's a bunch of girls scroll down to see some of the girls like you see like there was a girl with long hair with a hat on keep scrolling down keep scrolling down
there's a girl out on like dance floor type situation with long hair and a hat like keep going you're finder keep going no no that might be one of 'em hamas' grocers is a there's a bunch of but but this can do crazy to like their unbelievable athletes give me some music there jamie but it's like it's a crazy like jim name styx rhythmic gymnastics art form thing like so do the dance thing with they're standing up and then they get down on the ground so hard to it's pretty imagine doing this ship now no but what's really interesting is a lot of these people that get into jujitsu are particularly talented at jujitsu because they have amazing control over their body
of our best students from ten plan to do to is geo martinez and rich martinez his two brothers and they're both break dancers they start out break dancing and now they're savage ju jitsu fighters and it's one of the reasons why is because they have this incredible control of their body but i'm fast i go to that every day i'm like what's the new friction that finally put do you find your instagram jams right so you have a lot of jams on instagram what's your other jam let's go oh boy i don't know i follow a lot of nature pages trying to get into that see yeah nature is metal is one of my favorite cool and we've been in nature is metal bombana horrific fucking animals killing each other you do you like that 'cause you always do post shift like look at this fucking easton and it's like some crazy animal yeah tell everybody look that one yeah dude these wolves fighting over a deer that they killed that's banana yeah they're covered in blood
there's a one that's going on right now it's not visual but it's a story on my friend ramie warren on his rampage they were on an island in alaska and they got attacked by a giant grizzly bear a giant kodiak brown bears one thousand pound bear knocked him over ran through the camp one guy was literally riding on the bears back as it ran down the hill they literally the bear literally attacked and there was so many people and everybody scattered in certain directions and nobody got killed but they easily could have gotten killed and it's on his instagram page there's that video but there's also an instagram story if you're using the app and you click on this little icon it's like one of those we see like one hundred dots in a row and he broke i don't know how he did it he broke like a long video down into fifteen second chunks you record the whole video and then take you gotta take time to put it up on the
but bridget how do you do how do you do one with a seamlessly going to the other where there's no breaks just use the next fifteen second part god it's a hello but the a better way maybe there is a better way he did is so seamless it seems like there is a better way maybe they're better at it now anyway one thousand huge kodiak brown bear charge them 'cause killed and l and they had the elkin camp at the meeting camp and this bear just ran over the top of the hill full blast at them knocking people left and right and they it was only because there were so many of them that they survived and nobody got hurt one guy hit the bear in the face with ski polls like around the and the bear scrambled like he said leader there was giant gnashing teeth inches from his face and everyone went full bananas everyone went full reptilian they didn't see it common they had bear spray in pistols but they couldn't get to in time they like you think you can handle this like you think
you're prepared low would have done this next time we should do this like there's no next time there's no you have no idea how you're going to react when one thousand bear runs out you hell no hello ma i mean i had we had a rat in our house and i was like terrified of killing it and seeing it dead in the but i was excited to put down those traps you know like the snap traps i will fucking kill this thing yeah i wanted to get like a night vision camera just make sure red band saw it yeah actually on film like the the rat getting great in the traits horrific and remaining now the trap gets like hang out i know for shooting all over your house and shooting in your kitchen that's all i want is to see him dinner in the hills on your in the hills you get ratzinger no nine they know so silly is that that rat
i mean we eventually caught it 'cause i poison the funk out of our yard is like home again though i loved it it was it felt good to kill it but if i can show up dead one day my kid was playing right next to it i was like oh my god it's here it was all stiff and i got to like throw it away and it was good but it it made me realize maybe this is like whatever tangent but i think i'm becoming more of an atheist too 'cause these aren't you realize that it really just is like humans versus the elements like it's just us trying to build a fuckin' house trying to keep the road in south trying to keep your shift safe bears from eating you trying to keep your young safe trying to get them raised its we're just animals but got like cars and iphones and shit you know yeah there's definitely a lot of that shoot well vision i have the cd rom here at work screams but yeah is it out is it down i was trying to find it i don't remember exactly where
it had it he's got it up somewhere on instagram i look at you caught them good for him and this is a good we have this one too it's an electric one i believe but was here in the minutes walls and shallow god damn it rats on netflix dude the movie stop what you're doing because i'm about to relaunch rats now now bro it's amazing it's so scary their nastiest there's so nasty and you really know many there are there's so many oh my asshole just tangled annuity overrun no they say the weight in humans and the weight and rats might be the same i'm sorry really the weight the weight machines give rats like there might be as many like pounds of rat
as there are pounds of people that's one theory they don't know like it's just guesswork how many rats there are but they're convinced there's as many rats as there are people new york there's seven million rats but they say it might be as high as the body mass the bio mass of rats in the mass of people yeah that's why i knew when i fucking found one man when you find one there's a bunch these unfortunate that were not part of the comb study were found hung by the lower east side resident last summer they hung rats while they hang those are horrendous while they hang 'em just to let other rats mom listen you can't see my fuckin' neighborhood let this be a warning you can't be seen cuban rats cuba my husband went there once and they're called nutria oh yeah yeah they have those in the south they hunt them yeah good they pass
only they taste good yes yes people cook them apparently it's like guided did anthony bourdain have it on a show that was on know who's on another show was someone show someone had a show about like edible wild animals that people take for granted i forget what it was called but he cooked nutria and it was delicious he made like this kathleen or something was he in uganda i think that was in uganda no using the south is i think you're going to get him a rat and he was like it's delicious and you just knew that he was being he's in a yellow curry sauce i had squirrel i hear it's greasy the way i had it wasn't greasy but it was good it tasted good it didn't taste bad then bad blood is not good you gotta think it's it's eating acorns you know it's like that they just i just said rabbits like if you ever eaten yeah squirrels probably same i've had
rattlesnake jambalaya i'm supposed to go hunt alligators with body mind does hello hunt for alligator dinosaurs do you basically purse on road rules back in the 90s we went to a crocodile farm yeah i run road rules yeah and you didn't know that really this tv yes yeah the rare step child of the real world do i was in a winnebago we went to australia how do the red haired stepped it was the same producers or something same company university and with the real world was like the flagship awesome show and then like a fraction you know watch the road rules do you no matter units one of the guys who is the pretty nomad yes he's the guy was a producer of fear factor that's right yes yes yes that's a friend of mine with him oh well too late that whole error i do love my canon he's great
yes a lot of good i forever yeah good people come here but anyway we were to the crocodile farm and this is back in the day there i am on this american here look at you and not wearing jeans by the way dude you're a baby i know you're like a baby that's crazy that's you yeah which zoom in honor low res guys wound how old were you then like twenty wow crazy haircuts ninety shares funny that like how people get on those shows and they like way maybe something will happen at this how few people things before i did never you know who like michael michael yo do you know michael yeah i do video show on the first ever episode of fear factor really yep yep good he's really great guy too yes we've heard of but he was like one of the rare guys that made it through fear
coming out and how many how many people do you think came on fear factor being like someone's going to see me and i want to be like discovered probably a few right but you know it's not that wasn't the show like some knock american idol now in american i don't think about all the people that were on american idol it like what is the percentage of people that are on america's got talent that actually have a career afterwards it's well you know who i did was melissa vs in she was on a g t h u t as a kid say who's missile most most of his here she's now on saturday night live she's an amazing impressionist i'm on this girl dam was on instagram every day doing like gwen stefani chailey hold what's his name osment whole not jelly suck my nuts he she would do these obscure things and they were spot on and she came on your mom's house and pretended to be gloria stefan and was fantastic we played the call for
gloria estefan and she was like oh my god this girl's amazing like wow she's on there so i would say that's for sure i know melissa v as in yours the main terry fader guy he is a fuckin' theater in vegas at the mirage but wasn't he always i thought he was successful prior to be on i don't know i mean you want america's got talent that's like his credit it says winner of america's got talent and they have theater named after men vegas it's terry fade or theater season two season two what are they up to like season ninety now who wait hold on who's that season ten guys trying to be terry fader this mother fucker what's he doing pause this mother british canadian yeah i mean look he's got puppets like there's not a whole lot of guys with puppets in america like stop and think about that with the numbers of people that have like a puppet act that are comics today well we got the big one what's his nuts who
come on the guy who had the same now yeah yeah yeah that guy jeff dunham dunham just huge huge huge yeah he sells out arenas in in like crazy markets that you wouldn't even as one it our she's twelve yeah that's ridiculous like if i can get of stages noches da that's what i my name's simon simon simon every council x i'm sorry it happened yeah how a and then that spice what's her name scary spice yeah the comedian that with that very well he made it to the finals his first like sting you didn't la i think was uncle tony he was uncle tony how you time spoke that's because names preacher lawson and he made it all the way to the finals eyes get high energy comedian yeah i think that wow killer andrew yeah very muscular as the kids say he's taking a chance wearing tight clothing to hell yeah it's tracting from his from his stage persona
you see now that's an interesting we're talking about this with brendan schaub on our show and he doesn't like to dress to attractively like showing off his physique on stage and women huge tits i promised my special was like how do i fucking these enormous cans the people aren't like it's on our jokes too but takes him please you know it's something about ted's well that they're your first thing we were at the beginning but when you're born and your mom goes here you go and you're like these are great yeah where can i get more of this plus liked it sorry guys stare at its with the hope that like almost like like when you stare the sky every now and then you see a shooting star
which is every now and then wanna pop out like little nip slip does that really happen yeah nip slips are real i've seen nip slips i've seen girls like they bend over to like fix their shoe and it pops out oh my god did you see that like don't worry big deal i looked away as soon as i saw it and being respectful so what age does that look at what age is that all calm down and you become like a civilized i'm sorry it's actually the question was is narnia land i think we need stops working look at harvey harvey weinstein's like seven years old how old is he said disgusting getting his rape on he's too old to be that raby cocaine yeah she sixty should supposed to sixty yeah can you come this nasty nasty hard yeah of course the four twenty
look at him oh my god a guy bounce back this is not no not so what do you do ashley in today's culture where it's there's no hall pass anymore for this right he's this i go into hiding or like bill cosby do the complete deflection like i don't know these images are talking about using total denial but he's also blind as he's almost completely blind and so that really look at him like cock eyed sh it it's like it's almost like his body is like rebelling on his reality you know set up the evils making in blind i was a fan of his in a big way when i was a little kid worse i remember thing to bill cosby himself i mean he's always eyes are all up now yeah yes
really aggressive glaucoma going above and place whether it's the folded hands like rudy look at that picture right there don't get cody does the mug shot it's just so weird go from that picture to the on the upper right where smiling like what happened like this was this was the we thought we were getting right now we're getting jello pudding america looking nice i would imagine if you were the girl who this guy raped oh my god how to watch him be like america's sweetheart you like no you're a monster you're you're you're taking people's humanity it's so crazy what did you have good thing he there's a freak you know they know what they're signing up for he's not drug anybody that's true and and everyone's kind of aware yeah hey guess what you're it's creepy yeah not going to be great but there's an exchange here you get free rent now you the pajama thing even harvey's not
drug in anybody i don't know that yeah i don't understand i'm just talking shit but i'm here so the stories that i'm here and he's just like just crush ryan like again he's missing a lot of pitches like over the years right so if twenty five women have come forward how many did you just fucking knock it out the park inside the mind of bill cosby why won't you wish we could really get in there i'd like pills re recorded that album and people sleep and yet that how is that you're the favorite so like i need you to be totale dead i don't know i've heard theories
what was the reason i heard that was kind of interesting is that when you are that much of a celebrity in a time where there's no repercussions the internet right now that your your thoughts of who you are in comparison to who who whether people are is that you really literally feel like you're royalty thank you art you're better than other people when i worked at a casino once and they told me that this is before bill cosby got arrested this is when the allegations are just before they're even emerging this is before anything happened they were talking about how weird it was and that he may the employees all sit down and watch him eat curry he he they have everybody in that was working their door people box office there to sit in the room with him and watch him while he ate uhhuh and then he had a security guard talk him into bed like literally talk him into bed at night when you went to sleep
what would the curry though it did people to watch me and then watching take a shift later on in here i mean you could you could be jen person say well maybe is like his way of getting over stage fright like he gets over the feeling of watching him because all these staring at him and then going on stage like you could be an effective strategy like if you really think about it if you have a room full of people that just staring at you and you just doing i'm a and then you go on stage is like you've kind of relaxed sure to the make any sense i mean also i know now i meant does it does for somebody who would who would i just for me personally power move of doing that is such an saying like hey we thought we were doing watch me eat curry it's so absurd it's like do you really need that is that just with a woman who is working there was telling me
and that's how she was thinking about she's like he's so weird and i was like how so and then she was just telling me all these stories blue in the dressing room it will be standing around that's a power move though twenty people that's a power that's hey do what do what i say yeah talk me in tuck me tuck me in i keep climbing bed and you have to like like a little burrito burrito sleep baba booey shut the light out now leave who it's so dark well i you know like a lot of these people have like a whole team of handlers you know yes open the door for mr cosby you know like mr because we said now on you know you you might want to buckle amount from buckle up mr cosby mr cosby sits there you buckle mom just drives weird right yeah it's it's i'm not even like i don't know i can't connect i am now some people i think probably like the idea
of royalty like being royal for instance i get jail terms terrible i follow on instagram kate the new royal name in winslet kate of berkshire shire whatever fuckin' print princess kate shaw and it's such a kate middleton yet kate middleton yeah and the fantasy i think in addition to the lake thing right that that sort of whatever culture is a culture of people putting forward there best image all the time you're not really posting yeah and imagine the absolute hell of being that twenty four slash seven i mean i would get so much but and look forward to that like someone to someone go i wish there was some girls dreaming of being gay it would be amazing i want to be kate look at her she's very pretty yeah no she's fantastic
yeah things got hog on him no tall skinny guy might have a hog the brits are not known for hogs i lived in going for a year i did not do anything i didn't touch an english hog but i had it a gay friend that was touching all the hogs he was like i'm not impressed not impressed now what do you this comment great grandfather john committed suicide at age three thousand forty three his sister julia remained a spinster her whole life i believe she lived with weather ebenezer the ship right if i could comment is that leaving a bunch of comments really just weird tell you this iran deal what kind of a scandalous and disgraceful gnosis is this i'm not one of the grand and glorious vetted ones privy to the global secrets like these guys are nut this guy is leaving some interesting comments
this is a kensington royal instagram page how many likes do have their hundred nineteen thousand connor it's on you royals it's on your numbers two two point two million damn spit at that you know that's a great instagram is passenger shaming that it's fantastic it's a it's a flight attendant and takes photos people putting their nasty feet up on the trays and acting like fools and then she puts it up and they talk some shit it's yes see people look at this look at this nasty putting her feet up on the fucking thing oh yeah i just had someone do it last week to me they put their foot between the seat see how that dog is there foot was there you saw the football you're looking at photos right there just say anything no i just took a picture and put on instagram just like it is nasty people are fucking gross and sometimes their feet will touch you
like if someone's hand touches you no big deal yeah that put your stinky feet connect with the other day the same one that's making me with escape bracelet daughter made this bracelet for my seven year old she's fucking larious she had a band aid on her finger and she kept it on all day and she goes dad my finger my finger i don't want to smell your finger she was it smells like roses and i smell it smell like joey diaz feet so now and she's laughing is like disgusting i thought it was so funny that she got me to smell it that i gave in after all ok that tiny little seven year old like it's just so funny to her so good it's funny when see this about your son and the the gets older they have their own little way of talking and thinking about things and you can with you in the little calculated way of interfacing with the world so weird i see it all
i see some manipulation can he started yeah words words like that then he can say certain things yeah it's cute it's like i love it it's so amazing i like it well stranger making people it's bananas and we look at him and i'm like tweet we made this did lana one weekend in virginia beach when you're at the funny bone dude back to reading at ruth's chris hey and then miss fine him yeah do you got like when he sees tommy now with this crazy fitness routine i mean he but he looks fantastic i mean i saw him the other night i was like jesus christ without great you look alike he's like he lost all that way for the weight loss challenge and then just around with it he is so much happier now and i i sing the praises of the fat shaming campaign and i think that shaming is such a wonderful tool to get people to jumpstart whatever it is that they need to but people don't want to hear that no but
is a wonderful it it's not it's not necessarily bad to feel shame shame is okay in small doses is known only to you yeah yeah he you know some we'll need to be motivated yeah and then whatever or where they can get but the thing is it's it makes people feel bad and people don't want people to feel bad yeah well feeling bad is what makes you change but some people may shame you their shame you because you're just being mean any positive consequence that come from that are just inconsequential they just they're just lucky yeah you know but in this case i think it was a constructive shame and now they were both want to lose weight in there tom and bert were both shading on each other equally back and forth so but what was interesting is like fans got really into it and we're really mean about it yes and i really funny about it we got many submissions on your mom's house international submissions of like english teachers in their classrooms like teaching them how to say bird's in english and then like speaking indian or something it was it was really cool
tom started doing like local tv station and talking to them about how fat burgers how do we get online and it just got crazy crazy you know and then people go to bird show and yell out tom's fat and like tom shows people so fat i the bird is fat campaign took off a lot lot more i would say that got some heat and then i think his podcast birds is struggling in comparison to tom's yours that you guys have a much more powerful presence online yeah and it's like he for the wrong dude he did he did now sober october there are eleven days in days inn yeah today's eleven yeah it's just so everybody knows i'm not smoking pot all right why because fucking bitch smoke pot like i can it's just that wasn't part of the deal and i thought about it on september
for us it or whatever it was september what is it thirty one three thousand and thirty and i was like fuck this i'm like i don't need to smoke pot i'm going to take the whole month off pot too so i've taken the whole month potan one of the things that's interesting is my dreams are english hence i had a dream last night and maybe cuz i'm pintan tall is harvey weinstein chip i had a dream last night there was some russian woman who was like married to some russian dictator dude that was seducing me do you miss seducing your the number oh oh yeah woman was she was like some really hot russian woman but i was terrified of her because she was like the wife of like some really powerful man and she was like making me hang out with her and like i didn't fuck her my dream but like i was like you know basically like being submissive to her you know he was very
change and we were on a boat somehow or another like it was super vivid we're looking at and i looked out the window and other but was really close to us but it didn't collide with us while ago but it was like super vivid and i was thinking like wow like n dumb this is last night yeah i was thinking i didn't have any alpha brain before i went to bed either it wasn't like one of those dreams but it was a really vivid like really and that's one of the is it heard when people stop smoking pot is that their dreams become very vivid and you remember your dreams now anna my therapist will do dream analysis on me at and usually people who represent either feelings you have or you don't really you dream and symbolism right so the russian lady could be whoever it could be other your sister your wife you're blushing represented power to me like the feeling of being alike you know like it's it's very unusual for a man to feel like they are in a position
more woman as power of them unless it's your boss right so for me it was like this feeling of this woman who i couldn't say no to and i was scared of it because she was like those she was married to some dictator announces that come into my room i want you to hang out with me she was really beautiful i was like oh ok yeah sure i'll do whatever but i was like really like now we did get it on no not in the dream now unless i forgot that part yeah i mean really weird it was like because i was like i better do it she says like one of those things yes and i was thinking like me one with that that's if that's what it feels like to be like like on how to deal with someone like harvey weinstein yeah right that's what planted that seed in my head like if i was a young starlet hoping to make it in the business and he was the guy that held you know possible my my future in front of me
right well also the dreams anyway my shrink says that when you do your dream analysis a lot of times it's feeling if you can't deal with in waking life so it's the feeling in the alright what do you how are would think they would say about this i don't know 'cause i don't know enough about your personal life it would have to know more about your dynamics like between your wife your whoever else is in your world because it always represents other you won't you won't ever dream like if you have problems with your mommy or daddy it's not really you never for whenever it's just so weird but when i dream about my father a dream about howard stern like i associated with two yeah so howard stern shows up so they have a similar sense of humor i grew up on stern and i see stern is like a paternal you know he could be my that like in a lot of ways he's my comedy dad like i grew up just worshipping our story whenever a true master and i know it's like have it it's a dead issue would you be weeded out if you did a show i would have love it so much to
dream that's one of my i don't get geeked out on celebrities i don't really care would be the only one that i i'd be nervous is the most important thing that i ever did for sure to me in my mind he who is like a like i didn't give a flac files on it tonight show that mean anything to me i was never a tonight show comic in my in my mind like all those things were like for people want to do seven clean minutes and i was a kennison guy you know i like kennison i'd i'd i liked i liked dice i liked you know i like richard prior i didn't wanna be that kind of squeaky clean comics so to me howard stern was like this groundbreaker like he was like the first guide average is doing all talk show on regular radio right i mean he's do songs used to play records but then it became just the stuff in between the records was even better and then it became all that and
as a kid i mean i'd heard like there was some funny shows in boston with back in the day when they had real djs chill like that but i'd always heard about stern you know and then once i i first started listening to them and it was like he was on a boston as well and i was thinkin like that that's the that's the holy grail like that when you get there especially then back in the day when he was unlike regular radio and everybody was listening was like he'd kill eighteen million people listening to a shocking crazy nothing i ever like that before or since now and i used to i worked in my dad shot my dad had a forklift repair shop and i have to work there every summer and i starting at like twelve years old i started listening to stern he was on the radio here in la in the mornings and i would be so bummed when those four hours were over and then i have to listen to the liver fuckin' deck head was on after like whatever fake nonsense radio and then like butt bongo yes they came out yeah does this and they're like the you know the the kkk guy
it was so it was so radical so funny yeah member private of course i've seen it a million times yeah you know me too he also represented this fight against the suppressive free speech of the right wing people that were in power at the time because the fcc went after him in a huge way they were finding his station hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing like potty jokes or something yeah talking about penises like they would attack them and like literally find them hundreds of thousands of dollars it was a direct assault on free speech because wasn't even words they were saying right wasn't even forbidden words like topics we're deciding what people couldn't couldn't say and he was for all of us tor comics he was at the the line of that i mean he was the guy that was taking the hits
in a lot of ways it boosted them you know because everybody was aware that he was like being attacked and people were outraged yeah but it was it represented when bush was in office when the ambush was the president we were all kind of freaked out by that this was happening you know the this guy who is this really funny guy they were deciding who's a criminal and they were station hundreds of thousands of dollars for what for making people laugh like so crazy yeah so for me it just represented so much it was just so so crazy it was just are those the most nervous i've ever been in my life the night before i did it and actually i did yoga the night before i did yoga in my hotel room to calm myself down and it worked yeah yeah stupid super calm it down with the beat like i would love i would probably happen man do do do do do do do what about going to say oh i forgot now
and now get mommy brain hey i got funny brings real saying bring it yet for sure is it totally changed i don't sleep through the night anymore wake up on the engineer thanks to write like what was going on for the okay i sent everything man spidey senses are always on his mother mansion i know it's a get a little human you made with your own body it's talking bananas i don't know why women act like it's not the biggest deal in the world it is the craziest thing in the world women act like it's not the biggest deal i feel like it's very normal for some people like i just did it i just feel like we need to be like blown away by it constantly and we're just not going away by tonight well but you don't have a fifty hour week day job and it did head for a husband you know i mean oh wait maybe that's why yeah those were my gaffikin kids still alive guess i gotta
i don't know i mean if he has the experience is different depending on what kind of relationship you have with your partner yeah definitely partners on so you have a gate my there are a partner like about guys do that to me but as a girlfriend once well you know me and my partner we've been living together for awhile like what your partner partner that's what that's how this is actually here tom on his wife is that's that's it that's only for days that's not for certain crime yes criminal could business partner but the fact that we're talking about it was just such a weird way to describe it with my partner monroe for too close for comfort or s put a strap on on you bro watching as good as it gets last night and greg kinnear those understanding that movie oh really i love any angry will part what made you angry because he's a racist going to fix it with a pill you're so stupid it was so fucking stupid as it like she seemed it's really sweet woman who had a kid and jack nicholson with his old cotton that's as good as it gets like what kind of
suck in messages after people but this is so stupid i never read the writing was so dumb was like oh you're going to fix his racism with a pill get the fuck out of here that is so stupid they go a little better now i don't hate specs like i could stupid movie i hated that movie like this poor lady she seems so nice like maybe find a nice guy who sweet to you i never out of it that way that she just settles for this old shitte racist repo who needs to take drugs make him someone normal yes did he takes drugs to make him not a racist is the stupidest idea ever any kind of manipulates her by sending the doctor over to care for her child she's she's in need she has no money as good as it gets yes is not hang in there sweetie you can get better you like better those pretendre jack nicholson couldn't swipe right
she could not ask why no there was no swiping magnet just gotta find some other nice dad and your kid gets along with another fucking brady bunch type beat story of the man what's your name alice just died right now who's alive still dad died of aids website that was bananas right from the dad was actually taken in the key i had no idea that's when we great can years character his parents disown him because he's gay yeah and last night i was like can you believe this ship this is like what twenty years ago this was that was considered a thing that you would disown your child yeah now it's still is with the yes it is but i'm saying it's crazy yeah yeah yeah south dakota they kill you you will wear normal now the internet i'm kidding folks run out of things to say they are free ball they bow hunt them the quiz the bus
button quiz is that what you guys do behind thing about the gays no no the gays aren't edible bow hunting feels imagine i was reading this thing about cannibals part about the so weird i guess you had to dance around you you couldn't be likes my boyfriend my girlfriend was his wife he's call it was connor's partner people are so well it's almost think that a guy like that is like so programmed by like liberal cynthia louise that he's like he wants to put her in cool ground is not my wife i don't owner she's my partner we're in this together play drinking like book the kool aid man just men out there that just wearing
aubrey shoes walk around with tight pants on take a punch just barely getting through life let's talk about early man a man that i you know it's so funny because tom yesterday he goes you know actually no you're you're like a nine 30s man also a cigar and according to read the paper these buckets well you know cuz i'm a little traditional i actually am very traditional about this kind of stuff good look the truth of it is the fucking guy at wearing the string bracelets and the thumb ring in the ponytail and your chachro alignment in the reiki that's just a fucking thing for him to get laid at the end of the day just trying to convince you to fuck him trying to play the spiritual angle that's right yeah this game this is what i'm saying on stage last night you know i did jeremiah watkins show ever do that show now i have to i hear it sounds fine stand up on the spot yeah make up things people yell things out you things i was saying we're talking about
now feminists somehow the subject came up and i was saying if give me one of those guys a pill that would turn them into that thor dude that chris helms worth do they would all take it thought on powerball yeah and then you know just be themselves they wouldn't have to like i was i was talking to this tweet that i read that literally made me want to punch my fist through the fucking laptop guy said i'm not calling myself a feminist until women tell me i'm doing feminism correctly like he's the cutting off his dick in offering on a platter i don't need this i'm not about that i'm spiritual well and here's the i mean at least for me appreciate when a man is down for the cause like i i get that but it's not sexually it's not attractive to data a guy that's like a girl for me nelly i like i like men it totally one hundred percent sexist probably i don't know what i am a girl be sexist i even now i feel like it's okay for a girl to want traditional
gender roles it's very suppressive if a guy wants them that's the thought process oh i see you're saying yeah 'cause we have the option to be like the stay at home mom or the career lady but if you want like a guide to be a man it's okay but if you like a woman just shut the fa cup right banger right people but you're considered the prescription say i like a guy who just grabs you by here and fox my mouth right now what she's so empowered wow there's a lady that she's not what changed yeah give yourself i don't know i don't know you know what i don't know i think i just all issues stem the real issue all of our issues stem from actual sexism actual discrimination if if we didn't have that if we just had people judge by on the merits of their behavior in the character and what they're capable of and we would just look like this one
it's about the stand up comedy world like maybe audience members like you i mean you would be able to tell much more than i would that they you know i i definitely think to some guy see a girl go up in the goals for going moves roads would issue for me right that was the whole environment i just came up and for sure arms folded yeah what is this girl gonna reform a great how long she up for fifteen minutes remove to compose yet how to present going out for yeah but in the world of comics it's very egalitarian yeah if you kill you at your comic right like nobody none of that no one in the comedy world looks at alley wong as a girl she's amazing she's just a comic can't she's she happens to be a girl but she's she's just a killer right that's how i really looks at her yeah like there it's like there's like a thing there's like a level of the video game that you get to where you slot into uh oh this is appear like she's a kid
you know and that's that's an interesting thing about the world of comedy like when your killer people think of you as a killer doesn't mean if you have a vagina or penis if you gave you straight if you're murdering it you're in that group right it's the great leveler right it yeah it's a very very true yeah because like nobody can hold your hand for you want to get up there no no and and it's it's so it's a very ballsy thing to do and and either you few failing you fail harder you succeed you succeed hard there's no there's no middle ground but i definitely think and have a way harder go at it because i think that sexual topics you either are the slot like you were saying before or their weird because if you're just a regular woman and you're talking these strangers about like how you
your asshole licked and you're really embarrassed about it people like what the fuck you know and girls who get mad at you if you're attractive girls get mad because their husbands laughing like don't think it's funny she helps she's disgusting yeah and then politics are almost off level you mean people get mad at you they will get mad at you if you like if a trump supporter and a woman in your on stage and there's a bunch of people in the audience there are liberals will get mad if you're a liberal onstage and there's trump supporters in the audience and you start shooting on trump they'll get mad at you stick to the joke i would jokes yeah what i've noticed is that at least here's my my thing i have hope for this the millennials i think they're change how comedy is consumed the podcasting it's millennials the early adapters and they grew watching sarah silverman lisa lampanelli all these mother fucking bad bitches so now in the millennial comes to his show that twenty year old boy doesn't have the same bias that the men
i started in front of her you know it's a given that a woman is a comic now it's ray cooler to way different what do you think there's i would like to think i'm not alone but i'd like to think there's less sexism yeah no less accepted yeah i mean when i started featuring i literally called the club in the midwest and i was on chelsea lately can i can i do your room kite headline orange is featured a no feature well i've i've already booked two women this year low yeah year the whole year guys that's fifty two weeks fifty of them yeah anna like well never under your fuckin' club again but you know i heard she like that the whole time coming out book two women imagine if that was with a guy oh my god you guys it was that hard to get into comedy already booked too dude we only have so many swinging dicks you know but again you know but without feminism shih tonight i try not to look at the the problems of the world
trying to fuckin' transcended like i i can't even spice which angry at feminism all this ship when i was in my 30s and then i now i'm just like you know what i don't give a shit i don't care what society wants me to be or what the fucking rules are i don't care fa q at life is too short for me to even worry about what this person thinks or the society is thinking well i think what you're seeing like on college campuses where people are super radical left wing progressive is and i think you seen that with you peoples well i think people are just trying to work out the world you know and sometimes they work out the world by assuming some sort of behavior pattern and that behavior it could be right wing or it could be left wing i mean it could be feminist it could be you know whatever they could gender queer they'll try that out for a while i'm going to shave half my head and wear nose ring and say fuck cisgendered men and like people get weird yeah that's true and they just
whom these patterns and try them out for a while almost like dressing punk rock you know yeah start wearing doc martens rolling your jeans up you know i love that yeah i was really good at that did you use my lane i was punk as fuck dude goth and punk for any weird piercings now those are the now now i you know i was too sensible 'cause i knew that i'd have a hole in my face so controlled yeah i only have one city tattoo i got a tramp stamp in the 90s on road rules who do you think that that scroll things because your mom was nuts yeah yeah my world was out of control so i was like i have to be response well i was the one that was responsible from the time i was you know little little cry grew up fast the parentified yeah that's it is now you find that a lot it's interesting it's like i have this
i've talked about this is bryan countenance a lot of my friends are dads it's like all my interesting friends came from up childhoods but i don't want that for my kids knew right so what is that like all my favorite people came from shut up childhoods game recognize game son you know what i'm saying yeah but it's because your wires are whatever across the certain way same way similarly but you don't want to suck i have the same dilemma believe me i don't want my son then again i'd be super thrilled with my son grew up and was like i'd love i'm going to be an accountant i'm just going to be normal yep i don't want to be in show business like this is the this is craziness this business not for normal people's bradley ave that you've carved stand up yeah what do you mean you too yeah yeah we've carved marble crazy it's bananas and i just i mean when i look back on who we started with like fourteen years ago and attrition rate i mean
there's no reason it's just bananas that we can even make a living at this like there's no reason i should be you know i'm saying it it's crazy something that you know you start off and you suck and you keep working at it and suck less and then you start getting glass and you start doing better and they start and you keep building and you keep moving as long as you keep moving and sometimes you have setbacks like probably when you were doing chelsea lately and me when i was doing news radio and you know and you just if you can get back on the horse get back moving yeah you can pick it up and next thing you know you got a motherfucking netflix not well wish it's alright now shift right there mother inferior help it's available right now and then i will wrap it up with this mother inferior available for scream streaming screaming and streaming both right now goddamnit christy
in the present ski ladies and gentlemen and make sure you watch uh and listen to your mom's house fantastic podcast an let's do this more often thank you so much for having me super fun thank you too alright folks will see you soon bye thank you everybody for tuning into the show an thank you to my sponsors thanks to square space future home of joe rogan dot net go to squarespace dot com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code jo save ten percent off your first purchase of a website oradomainthatsquarespace dot com use the offer code joe thank you also to legalzoom handle yo legal business online at legalzoom and use the offer code rogan in the referral box at checkout to save yourself some cash that's legalzoom dot com and use the code rogan and thank you
also to nature box delicious yummy snacks with no bullshit no artificial flavors no artificial colors no artificial sweeteners nature box go to naturebox dot com forward slash rogan and you can get fifty percent off your first order box dot com for sasha in last but most certainly not least we are brought to you by on it go to and and i t use the code word rogan and you will save ten percent off any and all supplements mom fran that's it for today i up i was supposed to have i had a what happened i had false damage down for tomorrow but that is incorrect that is an error on my part he will actually be here in november i don't know how i i went back and looked at the email and like yeah have fun that i do that i do not know so we're going to move that around
so i will be back tomorrow with somebody i'll let you know then alright bye
Transcript generated on 2019-11-16.