« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1024 - Bert Kreischer

2017-10-12 | 🔗
Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor and reality television host. Check out his book “Life of the Party” on Amazon and his podcast “The Bertcast” on iTunes.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hey everybody hi is doing i got a bunch of common dates coming up coming up it's almost said common but with a g go and say going on and i changed it to coming up i wouldn't let joerogan dot net slash store you get all that stuff i'm trying this so the podcast is brought to you by dollar shave club ladies and gentleman by now everyone knows a dollar shave clubs ships amazing razors for just a few bucks i've been a member for a while and i use all the products i use their executive razor handle they send me these brazers is like i think i have a five blade me check going a shave club right now while we're doing this dollar shape there he goes oh i love it when you fill it out for you so this is how it works folks they send you the razors you can choose your set of razor and let's
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of your loan in real time to make sure that you're getting the right solution for you rocket mortgage by quick loans apply simply understand fully mortgage confidently to get started go to rocket mortgage dot com forward slash rogan housing lender licensed in all fifty states an ml consumer access dot org number three thousand and thirty my yes today is a great friend and guy you may know him from the podcast if you do you most likely love him you might know him from his travel channel show from his stand up comedy from his podcast he is the machine please give it up for my good friend bert kreischer
the joe rogan experience the i'm live here with super yogi bird cry sure newly sober athlete resting heart rate four thousand seven hundred and forty seven that's pretty crazy man i talked about i called my cardiologist right after i talk to you guys and my dying i literally was like hey joe rogan said i'm dying and he's like first of all he's like i respect you rogan but please don't listen to about your blood pressure medicines read some where that blood pressure medicine and anti anxiety medicine lowers your heart rate yes those are beta blockers yeah i don't know on that okay but which by the way i spiraled out and then my neck get my heart rate up as i was spiraling like i was like freaking out normally my polls would be through the roof i called my doctor he's like no you're healthy this is what we've been shooting for is you
stop drinking so let's just do what you're doing is like have a good time with it and so uh but yeah resting heart rate slow i might i've never felt better in my fucking life to be dead serious with how many days inn are you serious right were twelve days in say the 12th i'm one day ahead attacks i quit the day before i quit the day before because i was cuz i listen to you guys and all the fucking armchair doctors who are like going to die you need to be medically induced into a coma well you were telling us that you were drinking six doubles a day by the way i talk out of my ass when i'm drunk i don't know how much i was drink 'cause i was i was definitely terrified i was definitely terrified coming into the home stretch of getting so broke so i was like as a i'm i die hard lose if i talk to doctor drew about it i was like i like die and stuff and it was like well you can have seizures because it doesn't help
but i i stop drinking any have withdrawals is full good the next amazing yeah and that's until the me one house you know i heard the truck i googled all this ship but i think amy winehouse is just over the top it's gotta be the second you wake up till the second you pass out drinking come and by the way there australian tour there were hints of that like there was not i was flying in performing every night and i draw complains i hadn't planned to a bird that time i said there was i but i was i was it's been very measured with my boo so i wasn't going nuts did you feel good when you doing that like how did you feel when you drink it in flying and you felt bad i actually felt really bad and i think and i think we all tweeted this but i was like ready for this fucking month after that australian tour i was definitely ready great way to go into not drinking is final straw
we could do it or for two weeks and then fly back yeah i like fucking bring it dude you know what i mean i don't drink that much but i feel way better too it's weird it's like i would have like maybe a shot before i go on stage some nights but some nights not and then you know maybe someone go you want to be real beer and they have one or two and then maybe i'll have a glass of wine with dinner so you know on a regular friday night i might have for drinks and uhm now nothing for twelve days and no part i went off the pod to know 'cause ari was giving me such a hard time so you could record curve quikpark urine out of touch with arctic sorry i was like alright i told tommy i was like i'm just going to quit not tell them and then break it at the at the end of the month like it's easy the pots been easy but the dream have been different it is really interesting now when you don't smoke pot your dreams like ramp up makes me think like what no honestly i got just completely objectively i mean like that can't be you did not be dreaming like right
something happening i was my first two days of not drinking i couldn't out of lucid dreaming was i was having intense the dreams rose well aware i was asleep but i knew that if i could just i knew but i knew that i was dreaming and was like don't get out of this you having fun and so you a dream he's been intent by the way the really my favorite thing is just sleeping good like i'm waking up it's in the morning and going like feel good all at a man and by the way and i know that you're like bird fuckin' uber fan of podcasters there's like people have been introduced to through your podcast an like british or my favorite people i love that guy he's awesome and he gets coffee all the time now i look at that do you get his panic when i see him get a coffee for the past year i've been like dude fuck is he doing that so i mean when i drink i can't drink things i start shaking i get way too blood sugar e like really yeah
just regular coffee or had coffee i haven't had like a cup of coffee uh in probably like maybe like eight months now what is it about is it do you put some in coffee you know just how awful just black coffee so yes this is i'm a my blood sugar is low from drink and i i didn't sleep well i have a cup of coffee and it just and then i would be like how does brandon take naps in the middle the day like i couldn't stand it dude i enjoyed getting up and going to starbucks and getting a coffee more than i ever enjoyed going to a bar it is i get up and i like i'm part of the community i like say hi to people we landed from that first sober flight i took down i know that i'm going to get child when we landed it was me and brendan brendan walters on my flight and he and he was like oh randomly he ran into my flight i'd talk to him through text the night i was like dude i'll see on the plane we got to uh jackson was like yeah i'm hitting up sober october with you i'm not going to drink either and i was like awesome man really yeah i said this in
i've never said this i go hey do you want to get a cup of coffee and he was like sure we both got coffees at like ten in the morning at the airport i was like oh i got a ahead of me like i got coffee to like dude i had the phone one day ever had that when i got night i was like to see about a cup of coffee right to sleep are you worried that that this is like right now during this really great place right now your healthy your feeling good you sleep in good but are you are you thinking that this is just a vacation from your other life or you change in your life my therapist when my therapist when this started he said do not do this challenge i think it's a really bad idea but really he was gonna ask wh therapist do you have i've heard this like christy as madame yesterday that my service yeah yeah is this therapist telling him to because she's got therapist that she really likes but i just don't maybe therapist doesn't trust you know he said he said to me at one point
he goes so how you feel is a good i'm not having like any epiphany i wish i had an epiphany but i don't want to piss i'm just enjoying it i'm really having a good time don't know if i don't know how i'm going to get back into drinking he's like that's why you should have done this if you want to quit drinking should have just done it for yourself you should've done it out of spite for tom lauria so if it's not spite it's a fun little challenge like i look i don't want to do fifteen fuckin' yoga classes in a month i'm loving but we're doing it it's great but do you really want to have an obligation to have to do three a week yeah dude i can only you work in those parameters actually work to the extremes like when we said no pot no booze i was like i'm cool 'cause i'm not going to smoke pot if i'm not drinking booze i'm a teetotaler like i take things i take things to an extreme 'cause that's the way i can help compartmentalize things but i think question was like at the end this month when november first rolls around yeah are you going to just go get up will
obviously we are overdue already in new orleans yeah you know you guys do in new orleans we're doing the impractical among cool to cruise the web for awhile big j tony it's cliff there at the gala like we're all going on the cruise of the impractical jokers does impractical jokers guys are killing it dude they did the greek i saw six thousand people fucking mom that i would love to have sat in the front row where they sat me and shit on their show dad can't man i would love as a comic to be like i'm better than this but then they for get up there and they have such great chemistry in there showing like inside clipson but it's just a multi event so it's not like stand up it's like a bunch of different stuff that they do like they show like pranks people know they don't shut this show more pictures from their childhood like things that because we've known each other forever then when they
they tell stories about them traveling together it's it would it read she's really a great show thank you managing a phone me you and tom get a show store and we talked about sober october tom and i a bunch of stuff very quickly that we could talk about our hot yoga classes and aria like like my favorite whatever is when the eve of sober october re fucking put he's such a can't he puts out all our techs privately behind that we haven't been sharing with you on instagram in tell me that isn't giving you panic right now 'cause i don't i've said look we've all been like joes not quitting weed and then already managed or email which this coup de ta against you for pray for joe look i look i know already gets a lot of shit online and everyone's talking with already but i will tell you this has been exponential fun because of his involvement because this right in his little swing zone yeah when you said your when you said i'm not
quitting weed yeah are then branched off to me and tom is a get ready for assault on joe that's a good idea he's like note happening i want you to get your comments ready i want them to send in we're going to workshop each others comments i want you to be the first comments on this video that i post on things saying joe's not taking part of sober october so all setting up tom i love tom to death be such a cock his first draw i like this will not be working it's to listen to joe report will this for well ari is been he i think he's handling this the least like he's he's struggling bikini saying this is hard for me than any of you know like i think he's being serious i think he text to marijuana for self medication does and you know he has said his life up and i think anyone looks at it from the outside in he said his life up for him yeah he's his he's got a nice piece of cake yeah great apartment in does he wants east village he got
his friends they all go out every night will get him he's got you know he's one of the funnest guys have you ever go to new york to just let's go with the plan for today and he's like i don't know let's get lossed find some lobster somewhere but he's taking it seriously he got mad the other day when i was with them and i sent that text saying that i listen to your podcast sorry and it seems you have been doing all the poses but good news is is still plenty of days the month to make up for this the fifteen different hot yoga classes and he it's seriously not fuckin' superman that struck panic if you had told me hey bert those ones account but you could start up you still good he says i'd like talk off like dude i i with them and then my second i had to a two wing attack that was the first level and the second let i was like look just go to and however things that you didn't do from the other classes you can just redo on the honor system we don't have to do the whole class
the stand around like i was totally fucking with him but he took it seriously he's also by himself in this i feel like he's in new york yeah so like well text messages are weird man a good way to fuck with people 'cause you look at it a smaller sirius yeah he like you look at it and no listen asshole off national comedians in you're the this one out of all of us he said we hope you ralph reed oh yeah yeah i didn't understand the context i go i hope if we do like he's like i hope you ralphie and i was like oh you want me to die yeah with the fuckery he is and he is the most flamethrowing burn the bridge down kind of guy it's awesome yeah he's hilarious but i think that one of the things it stinks i wish this had been part of the better we should have stayed in i wish he had had gotten that yellow corvette yeah and i wish it had stayed in la this entire month
a big part of it 'cause there is a communal yeah like when like today you're like hey podcast at one hundred and thirty one go to yoga at one thousand and thirty meeting at ten but would have love that yeah and like i love tom will text me and go like this and this is is the fun littleness of this competition is like i can only go to four hundred and thirty one one thousand two hundred and thirty and i'm like yeah and then tom will be like well person no show everyone look at the distillery owners it was all there check all the hamburger joint he is by the way we had having fun fucking with each other but honestly i think our he's taking it seriously like pray for joe joes we'd addict didn't bother me i thought it was funny i was laughing i re posted a lot of it oh that was that was the biggest dude on stage in dc that first night
and people like people like we should take a moment of silence and i was like you know take a moment everyone out there and we prayed for you it was so much fucking fun meanwhile is like not smoking weed for eleven days one of the easy things i've ever done in my life it's not at all i just don't smoke pot it's not like wow i go on but some great sets sets been fun so i've done probably in the twelve nights are probably done like ninety eight native nine sets but the most sets of done no we'd ever really like since i started smoking pot like twenty years ago i have real i did i did spots at the store the other night and i had great stone sober and so funny is i i have a lot of apologies to issue on this podcast there's a lot of things that i said when we were drinking that i then did
and when i guess i was a little wrong about that like what like for number one is i don't drink onstage like i didn't realize that there's a difference between not ringing on stage and having to with you on stage there's a little bit of a comfort level knowing i can kill this drink and i don't have to deal with this like first night the saturday night i went on with no booze for both shows and on that late show was like oh i could use a cocktail and i definitely drink on stage i was like i wouldn't mind a cocktail right now so you were thinking before that you didn't drink onstage i say i go i this a truth is i don't mind forming sober i enjoy it but i would say like if you had said so do you get a no never but i definitely bring drinks on stage with me right like if you had a breathalyzer test like have been on stay it was driving would you get arrested but yeah yeah yeah i definitely got page that's number one apology issued two is a a are not real running now
i told you you come do my course do the course i do with me it's ruthless running hills that's where it's at man dude let's just say i didn't like i run on the time all the time and i i i can easily run under ten minute mile i go on the road and my first set of miles twelve minute miles and i was i was in pain and like whoa this is not the same and then i got to tell me miles like that feels like a sprint but you know you can get show you those treadmills that are like running there really expensive yeah i thought about getting one but so i do now is i'm doing they will work some sort of deal with them but who are the saving sponsors rogue rogue athletics the guys who made the reverse hyper machine that we have in the back and i'm actually called true form i pulled and push it out so i can see what it looks like but this thing different because
that you're actually pushing your own body weight there's no machine behind it it's just got friction to it and it's got like a slope and you run up on it and it really is like the closest thing to running i still think actual running is better but that is a very close second according to wow five but they're really expensive transform hit me up so expensive they hit you up with this though i'm saying hey truform hit me up hey true form will fucking do it free that we do in a free ad for you right now you look so going forward that that's a lot well some people can you know for sure some people would be would be willing to give the if you had to have one piece of equipment in your house house you know and you budgeted it out five thousand dollars is probably worth it if you could actually use it and get in great shape with it but i really feel the best way to do it is just go outside i mean i think especially if you can go somewhere where there's like a dirt trail and like a lake to look at it so it makes it more interesting
it's been one of the cool things about not drinking and getting out and doing road work is my wife source energy of like out there and going like it's fucking beautiful life is really beautiful yeah i go to the park that like where joe used to live right by this park i used to go there all the i miss the show he and and i go to this park uh once every morning we go my wife will walk it an i run it and i'm like bring it so what i'm doing is i'm doing road work play three times a week we price get on the treadmill the treadmill terrified of injury and then not being able to run so and i'm trying to run five days a week what you you worry about like planner something plant you had that for awhile have you had a vision is terrifying don't show where do you get that you get in the middle of your foot like where you getting uh like if this is your foot like right towards the heel oh yeah and then sometimes it will happen inside the heel and you'll feel it like when your heel touches around if you like glass when you started doing yoga are you notice were you noticing rather that your foot was
unstable and that like it it it's her it hurts your feet to try to balance on one foot and do the poses i did not notice that per se i did notice that what i noticed in the one thing that is i've got it what is the reason i will continue doing hot yoga or yoga in general maybe but probably not yogas i like to sweat is my feet are stronger yeah the girl lot stronger like i was gonna did bobby kelly i was going to text him and go ahead and you should start going to yoga he has the same problem planter fascia but i do and it really has strengthened my feet and when i run now i have no pain in my feet yeah makes a big difference is by i'm still heavy he's going on a diet i was i was going to say the girl we should fat shame him and get him healthy yeah i don't i'm not that close to them i can't talk with him i can fuck with you guys people could you gotta know who you can fuck with and who is going to take it seriously like i feel like i can't fuck with ari anymore like he takes its here
seriously he just needs to get his head he's over the hump of hot yoga he needs he needs to get high he needs a little weed and hug he might be a little weak love you love you are you know that were fucking with you but he took it to heart i think like when all the ariza welcher schitt when people are getting mad at him and attacking him online define like a little sore spot or a little area where they can attack and they go after you they don't understand like like how many people were going after you guys when you doing thomas fat and burns fat like you guys were going after each other for a joke but people were jumping in for serious people say really hateful things there's a website that some guy as i guess he believes it's a comedy website this is really nasty things about me and then like this one touch for savages savagery only and i'm like a man i'm a threshold comedian i know the funniest people in the world those aren't like great jokes like the really like birds normal die alone hello cool man thanks all of
that was the one thing was like i don't know but also you got to realize that these these people do a lot of these people they're thrown in there molotov cocktails in the party they don't they did like the just wanna get a response they just want to hurt you so that you can respond like that one thing that i will say like ours been pretty visible on my instagram comments like you but going right back in people fuck you i'm not a walther funk you and i'm part of you guys are you don't even read them i don't read the comments anymore ever done that with the tom and bird is fat thing i stopped reading uninstall together 'cause like i made my kids i go touch my comments you guys all worked out some sort of a deal right like ari is going to pay for something because he's already that's another part are you had i don't know why he announced to suck out of asia i think he wanted to go on the trip with us beat already planned this trip to asia yeah i was like i'll take your you when we get back and so i think we're going to the super bowl in worry going to the nfc championship
in january and he's going before it already is nothing but fluid money so he got no dependents and we've all known that and part of me like i kind of enjoyed the i kind of enjoy the welter moniker you have a heated but i didn't enjoy being called fuqing did you see that tom posted when rafi died no what can you pull up his fucking instagram by the way i did enjoy this yeah thirty was this uh oh jesus christ so i've had to hear about the passing of ralphie may's heart was bigger than his stomach honestly i've always been intrigued by commas or kind of layers on stage little sweetheart every time i saw a big hug ralphie it's a picture me wow
you're smelling something with florida beer in your underwear and drinking fireball where jack daniels in philly at preston and steve even radio show on the other guys are great yeah they are on the other side is m night shama lawn what are those shorts they are shyness d bathing suit it's jean bathing suit jesus m night shama lama ding dong was on the on the show with you he was only show two and he was he like he's really cool yeah it was really cool really interest dick i knocked it out of the park once i would would you twice i would argue about the fuckin' signs with mel gibson oh i thought that one sucked swing for the fence this is yeah which one the one that plants come to kill you know split dogs life was that could split goods sequel to the unbreakable you know what i like though i'll say twice i like that elevator one devils in the elevator he's the one pretty good yeah but the first one six cents that was fun
great to me in a black guy sat in the lobby just have random black guy a random black guy who's sitting behind me and we both realize that he was dead at the same time and we lost it and then walked out to the lobby together and started i didn't know this guy i said this is cool thing about a movie me and this guy nothing in common where he's got cover his dreads tattoo is a medium sat in the lobby and broke down the movie i didn't know him but we were just sharing our realizations together i was like we hold on a second hold on so in like both there's always one of my favorite experiences after movies like when total strange get together no like shut up hold on wait what happened on break yeah those movies where people don't know dead or weird like beetlejuice number that oh yeah remember they died the river the car fell in the river i don't like movies like beetlejuice or like or like charlie and the the factory
during the new one i don't like it i can't watch anything where there's a little bit of fantasy like fantasy type thing so that makes sense no i did not want charlie the chocolate factory when i was a kid well the the old one yeah i'd never saw the new ones i would watch it the new one was a thing was just called willy wonka right wasn't even called the johnny depp one when he typed like this the way around it came from a book called charlie and chocolate factory the first movie was really wonka and the remake was the one with giant charlie the uh yeah what what don't you like about those i don't know that like alice in wonderland anything about i i don't know if it's like a bad trip type fantasy they freak man did you see the new alice in wonderland with johnny depp played the mad hatter i will watch it's great to watch enjoy the shut out of it it's really fun yeah it's fun digits freak out
yeah like there's a movie that really freaked me out i think it was called clown about this dad who gets his the cloud for his birthday in the cloud and show up so we goes down to the basement and find a clown outfit and he put it on is the clown for the kid and then that night can't get the nose off and it ashes into his body i couldn't do this movie that's a good movie fuct me i couldn't watch it i started watching it and i was like no kill me a trailer young jamie oh my god you freaking out yeah this like clouds but believe the green inferno he made but the cannibals and south of no yeah it's on netflix i think is it a horror movie yeah yeah sure people dying as gruesome he's really good he made that hostel movie he's also in users who is but is was that after these appeared you yeah
i keep hearing is fucking amazing is the new blade runner movie but it's not doing good in the box office apparently the to sign non disclosures when they review it where they couldn't reveal anything about the movie alright give me give me some volume here will play the trailer here kinda miss the cloud there's no cloud coming
everything's gonna be fine basically one to that of whoa it's not a constant can
a demon five children hello i'm trying dude what i say don't let me out
the kids are all right the sound is very loud distorted i want to see my number one whoa that dude i'm watching that tonight are you kidding me he said got some really good movies that have come out of the last couple of years what it what is he famous for i believe hostile is the first one he made motherfucker i'm not watching this movie then around two there was a part two he came back out to okay let's watch the trailer for clown two oh is i don't know look pretty violent get
been there see what happens ha ha ha i have the outfit on maybe not same people same people this is the twenty seventeen version just in time for us to binge this is we're going to do in the new studio burt we're going to watch some stop movies and do like fight companions for fucked up movies funny movies oh it's real kill it sonovabitch fan made man i can't i'm scary movies i get we get legit scared like i get to the point where i go i don't know and it's like jumping out of an airplane i go i don't know i'm doing this i don't i don't know if i enjoy this i got i sold when i summers in the the ring movie theater and i was screaming so bad that people are laughing while you get scared i don't know
did you see the new it movie no don't go to see that i would never i saw the original it i was like i was i was like stephen king's probably pretty good thriller and this clown showed up and i couldn't stop watching it original ones on tv wasn't yeah with any serious yeah yeah that bothered you that much only clouds i'll never drop out makeup they'll never happen really i did once i got mauled by a bull's eye put clown makeup on go to eddie bravo's instagram page and check out this new bullfighting thing they're doing theirs doing this new bull fighting thing where they don't actually fight the bulls these are acrobats they stand in front of the bull the bull charges them and they flip over the fucking bull dude people are take change it to a totally next level watch this oh shut up yeah nonviolent bull fighting so they don't kill the bull like this is probably first of all
it's way more interesting oh yeah feel bad watching it i mean i'm gonna feel bad this guy eventually gets a horn through his asshole probably going to happen but i'm not rooting for the ball like i'm kind of rooting for the bowl when i see matadors and kind of i think both it is completely retarded if you want to shoot obolon and kill it and eat it i get that but you should do it humanely and you should you know you should do it where your you know what you're doing you shoot the bull in the head or whatever going to shoot it in the heart and get it over with but they grab those things with these long spears and they poison them they do a lot of shit but this to me way more dangerous way more brave were in thing to watch i would which address is a major concern amongst animal rights activists what does the bulls aren't getting hurt but i don't this is nonviolent bull fighting i think we're just watching a loop that's what it is so it says
ole well this is the guide dpk dot m follow him on instagram he's of radical anti my gosh anti factory farming animal rights activist guy or girl i don't know if it's a guy or girl honestly i'm just sexist but his page this persons page her page whatever is just filled with anna right stuff it's always animal right stuff we went to a bowl type in i think in madrid or barcelona me and my buddy which only twenty two we know what it was we were like yeah we gotta go fly right man we were both it's like this is really upsetting kids that's like when you'd be like oh buck yeah both of us were like oh they killed it really it up really is sad but this guy put up that i found out about this guy this animal this guy and i followed his page because he put up a picture of a friend of mine
friend adam green trees in hawaii in wide hawaii australia because in australia they hunt feral cats and this guy was holding up a cat like a housecat they shot and killed and the reason why they do that is because feral house cats in australia are an invasive species and they are a devastating the local ology they just troy ground nesting birds they kill everything and there's a large population of them they actually have a bounty on feral cat in australia see they've made terrible mistakes with conservation in australia and one of the mistakes they've done like over and over again is introduced invasive species to the continent see australia didn't the winners in australia are they used to have
tasmanian tiger they have dingoes an they have crocodiles which are just the fuckin' monsters they are ruthless they have like serious saltwater crocodiles and then of course sharks in the outside but then they introduced a bunch of animals to both australia and new zealand to hunt they introduce tough hello dear and stags and a lot of different things tags in mostly in new zealand but in pigs wild pigs these things went everywhere they're all over the place they also produced a bunch of different like rabbits and things along those lines and when they i don't rabbits forget what it was but they but in cats and fox is to with some of the other species but then the cats and the fox is don't just kill the species they wanted to kill them kill all these other things that had no idea what a cat was like there was no feral cats there and so now they have a real problem with them where they just they run the risk i know this guy who is an animal rights activist his thought
is he seeing this monster shooting someone's pet but it's likely not someone's pet it's most likely a feral cat there's thousands of them hundreds of thousands of men australia and their age ryan an issue they hire people to kill them because they're devose eating all these animals that had no idea what a cat was so it's a much more complex issue than a lot of these animal rights activists understand and i was the on off because adam greentree my buddy gave me but hunting magazine from australia when i was there visiting him and i was going through it on the plane this pictures of guys holding up cats they shot like what in the fuck is wrong with you australians but when it's explained to you by someone who lives there it's not like we hate house cats these are not house cats this is like going out and shooting you know a bobcat that's been killing all the local grouse you know like if you introduced a cat into the area that wasn't supposed to be there and it was dead
stating all the other animals so you have one of two options either you just let everything go extinct and handle it or you try to clean up the mess that your ancestors sort of started before you let me yeah pictures of good example yeah yeah it's a very good example those things giant rat things by the way this i i and i have to i have two two six or by adam green tree he's like my my new favorite obsession he's awesome he you tweet you got to watch my buddy on this hunt when when i was in australia and i was like all my time zones were all up and i was not sleeping and i obsessed with that hunt he did started in colorado ended up in montana yeah i got obsessed with it and it was so much fun to watch it nobody's got off the hon i was like well i guess i'll just wait for the next on books plane but the thing is he was solo he will he will be back packing and he was covering up by the way i speak big i am i'm probably wrong who's covering like fifteen miles a day off easily easy easily and not just a flat walked
mountains yeah you got it he glass these thing i feel like i know a motor from watching this video every day he would posted on his insta stories and he looking you find elk hunting elk and he would find out but it wasn't the one he wanted i we'd see this al qaeda he's like six pointer or sixty six something six point yeah he's like six point but it's the right one i was it was they were young yeah i want to shoot a young animal you want to shoot an old mature animal and and then it one point there was a bear tracking him and i'm like yeah not just tracking charging him and who is getting he's doing an instagram story of these bears charging him and wanted to instagram pictures it's him hold up a gun and you see the bear in the background standing at a time legs when i posted that his likes or his followers went from the beginning we started this quest it was at seventy five thousand followers by the end of this trip he had done hold to over one hundred and fifty what is he at now adam
green tree he just got renewed his vows with his beautiful wife kim i feel like i know i really got no the guys like you've never met him i gotta introduce to him he's going to be here going to be here soon what does he got now yeah one hundred and sixty two is what it says yeah when we started when he started this trip rather look at those pictures of grizzly bear footprints in the ground right next to his footprints walking a look how big those god dam things are if you're interested in these instagram stories right now my friend remy warren just posted a another crazy instagram story about their time on afognak island in alaska where they got attacked by a giant kodiak bear they get by one thousand pound bear one of the guys wound up riding the bear on its back they were bear charge tim everybody scattered one of the guys hit the bear in the face with trekking poles
one guy got knocked up into the air wound up on the bears back as the bear was running down the hill for like two or three steps he was literally riding this bears back who's this guy remy what ramey warren isn't a friend of mine who's one of the like this like there's a hand him right now full of like the best bow hunters in the world i'm privileged to know but adams most certainly one of them so as ramie my favorite my all my all time favorites always gonna be cameron payne kaman hands a starting that's ramming like he's got some pictures and videos of the the hunt that they went on in a fog knack but he had they'd killed an elk and that's they down there the one with one antler and then he had broken off one of his antlers fighting and they we're cutting this outlook this elcop and packing it now and then they set it down and they were just sitting down eating lunch and they didn't have the guns on them they didn't they just were just unprepared and
with no warning this one thousand pound bear charge them just ran right at them into the camp just decided that he wanted that elk and it was just in chaos and everybody scattered and you know thank thankfully everyone was was okay but they got as close to death as poss i'm talking to about on the phone yesterday was telling me that literally inch is away from his face he was seeing gnashing teeth inches away dude what in the man what's feeling like i mean that's that's uh like i can't i can't write my head around but just following adam couldn't wrapped my head around what he was doing the idea that he like flu montana ten didn't like the hunt in colorado we flew to montana he drove our drove and then he left the car and then just went he got logged well he knows where he's going because he has he's a g p s and he knows how to and falls there's a thing called onyx maps you good for you know you be you download the maps to your phone and then you can you can stretch
your phone out and he was using solar pad yeah always try what i was trying on scandal is here yeah girls when kevin when i came in sunday this is so silly that this is like how life works and by the way i think when is a podcast fetal get this is following in adam i'm watching the stories and he's shown all this pack stuff he's got me and the girls are getting ready to go to rei and i went out to get some of his shift like some of this stuff 'cause i know i know that he's running only rocking the best stuff yeah the girls get getting ready to be home that next week about myself so i'm gonna start looking thing and i'm watching the stories leanne to me and he's like he does some video of the sun shining and he goes look kim it's cameron hanes is smile and i get the joke and i start laughing and lances who the fuck you watching who box camera days i don't like other friends of mine i don't even know these dudes but i go there are but you know but i follow them and know them so i'm giggling well you could be friends with them i just have to introduce you know i'd i'd i'd last
one night with adam who doesn't drink doesn't do drugs great i'd be in his camp going first of all we're having any whiskey out of your atom like we're going to sit here sober and bears going to use over right now i got that the things that you're saying is like no drug frank this is what i do well he had his father had no problem and so he is averse to it completely i have some friends that have experienced alcoholism like abusive alcohol is from their parents and they have the same feeling they just don't want to have anything to do with it they see how it just wrecks people and ruins people and that's how you man i don't feel that way because i've enjoyed drinking and i've never really had a terrible happen happened me because of drinking but being sober so these last twelve days or whatever the it's been and being at comedy clubs every night and seeing sloppy drunks like i've in three or four like rich like the other night store some fucking drunk guy want to have a conversation with me from like two inches away you know that you know
that's sloppy drunk close talk type thing and like who the fuck who does this zero people like this is one of the worst things about alcohol is like the people don't understand boundaries or how they come off or what they sound like and this bad things you're a great drunk by the way you know you're you're like one of my favorite drunks because you're so used to it you manage it well you're like a black belt being drunk was like as with all the problems that you've had with your health with drinking too much you read well i mean you come off like pretty easy you're a fun guy to be around when you're drinking it's not you don't have a problem in that sense because like we all know people that drink and then just they go dark and they get mean and they get angry you know so we've seen that that that that i never have had that i think that's also part of the problem is that i'm a good okay everyone enjoys me and i'm a nice guy i'm a sweet guy
that's the reason and even my wife so i don't have a problem i don't think i have a problem but like the woman's with me a lot yeah i mean she wouldn't be the one to know but she's like health sizes change my health i mean i'm that's the part six miles in under an hour the other day that's great for fast for me that's very good and yeah and it made it like and so our health wise i feel amazing now i know this that's eighteen miles in three hours well i couldn't keep that pace so imagine if you did yeah that's like that's the good i'm in twenty my name twenty minutes a marathon twenty six which is almost a marathon in four hours yeah that's i'm doing a half marathon i signed up for a half marathon good how silly which is to keep myself on the rails like i well i don't i don't want to lose the fitness i like the i like feeling good so this is was my question initially just feels like you this is a sprint this is how to change in your lifestyle like it feel like
what i'm worried about is like you just going to like this is great i feel great i've never felt better and then woo off the rails it will be a week of that month that you're planning but it's almost like you're planning to go off the road like this is just like i'm going to gather for a month and then no i guys i talked to tom a push about this a lot but like i will i don't wanna to party partying but i don't want partying to be i don't want i think you got out control in the sense that like i was i was like i get on stage and have a cocktail i mean i drink a soda one time on stage and then lost their fucking minds i killed it they just assumed it's whiskey right right right i think i'd like to find a middle ground of like of like where we can go and have a good time but i want to quit drinking on planes at number one that's my thing i'm focused on month no booze on planes and then i wouldn't mind like working out hard like i think i always say i work out but like legit
working out is not what i've been doing yeah like when you do a ninety minute hot yoga class you realize what suffering really is ten minutes into our first class tom looked over to me and he goes we can't do this then i might i'm looking at him i'm like why do you have ten minutes going ten minutes then go fifteen minutes add an hour he goes i'm done i'm done i can't do thirty more minutes and and and then we go you know when you get on your back and you put your arms out and tom each other and grabs my hand and hold it tight like a lover and he's like get me the walk out of here and it's gotten easier and like things that we couldn't do now we can do and only been like six classes but were getting
better at ignoring showing it more in like everyone knows us because were the two big bears in there this is so and but if i got in trouble for drinking water one time if djing water during the poses hey i can't do that you have to wait until both poses are done yeah set one set he that's so fucking pissed you want to go the weather no water and he was like and looked around me like or you talking kidding maine he's he's a guy teaching a class so yeah course guys the ones that you know what are the girls were like if you to drink water please do it when we're done with the pros all i see is that you like your everyone's work together this is the idea that be crumbs does is that you're all working together and that if you interrupt the work to drink water you're sending a bad message like you're not in the community you know 'cause there's something about but those classes it's like i've done yoga by myself you know
an app on my phone yeah it'll time out all the poses and stuff like that i can and do it but i do a lot of work in out by myself i do a lot of lifting and running and everything i do by myself i know how to motivate myself but it's so much better to do it in a class so it holds yeah it holds you accountable an it's plugged in no bullshit you this is going to be you and if a king to hold this pose for thirty seconds period this is thirty seconds don't you do it as much as you can in your fucking feet are shaking and doing favorite one is my favorite one is this one i'm here and you said here yeah i love that paul composed that i love them i just because of the catcher so it's like it goes right back to my strength and one works i love that pose i go deep moment when she goes out i go deep in the plane one where you come loaded one time tom and i've been talking about doing a calendar
the yoga challenge yoga could move twelve months me and tom in different poses together in the shootout thing you would sell the shed out of that thing it's a great idea jamie you would take to photography the couple put couples poses down by the there's no we're talking about jamie we want to do a vet hot sweaty maybe both in speedos so yeah and and and hold our favorite poses we get seen violence i'd wear those heart beats the shadow cg to the second we went in the first class we went in tom 'cause he's a guy in the speed only goes how are you not wearing a speedo is like this is your whole thing and i was like i don't know my fave tommy bond story in yoga our instructor starts telling a story you know like in between poses is telling a story and like the first thirty minutes of class about his son and him in working his son walking a the sun being out of breath and whatnot and then continues on with opposes last thirty minutes of class we are flocking panting
we're on our stomachs face to the left hands down by your side and i hear silent class of your tom go hey man ok what happen he just talking loud as shit it scared the fuck out of maine is what happened with you and your son in new york city that goes excuse me got done with you never put your story man i'm waiting for this ended story and you just kept dragging unlike any keeps talking i am shaking next i'm going to shut the funk uptown funk in yoga i finished goes that was it tom
oh he is so fucking funny did you see the video we did with the girl oh did you see that girl in the video we did with the girl laura ackerman she seems so good she was so cool shoe the instructor is that we know she was just a personal cloud the look on our face when we go the machine tank have you ever seen she could do them no no no you're the machine the what here play the video and watch the look on my face when i go we're doing the front are appeared in our sphere should know know know know play the video jamie this is the look on my for me in tom's face when she said she knows already we fucking lose archet high yoga class number two dollar singer laura laura how did we do yeah we shocked when we said we were doing no alcohol no weed this month huh
i will prefer joe yeah let's hope blower has the papers are you ready one two three namaste joe our thoughts and prayers are with you this week in vegas and we know you'll be using the cannabis yes yeah jobs also donating a hundred percent of the proceeds from the show to the las vegas fun you guys can do it shout out to joe rogan on that good job good job joe and ari you know yes you do don't know him but you know very severe youtube hello larry city so that to the destructor like hello he dude he is so there's if you like we stand up you would love being his friend 'cause he's so dry yeah things he does in that class are he's not
trying to be funny is being told to do that in class to just talking the man looked last god they do tell some bible stories though 'cause they have you held hostage yeah 'cause you're in the middle of yoga you know oh i said one time the lady goes out it's the one where you pull your foot up and then you supposed to take your foot out she was burt grab the bottom of your foot i got animal fat and then she goes there's people fatter than you in this class looked at tom going as we know what she's talking about people the way i have to say this i always sit on toms wait he's actually looking really good i think is hot yoga is really clicking with them oh yeah's wife is saying that he can get much deeper into poses and i can i have a hard time getting into depots but he really has changed his life we wait the exact same joe yeah but he's prob
more muscular than you know something something about him a lot more skin something about it just seems more fit oh it is it's been real you don't like two hundred and nineteen or something crazy will you at the weight loss challenge was the low to put two nineteen to twenty two is that because you're lighter now a new not the yourself watch a total jim my body is i'm curious to see the end of the month everyone says i look like i'm deflated to extend my ace looks healthier and so i took measure my stomach's my arms my legs and just to see like like the shift was two hundred and twenty four the day west i stop drinking well your face it's different like your eyes like you used to have the i've been drinking bags you know that a lot of people get yeah six one twenty four chest forty seven and are you talking about talking about your dick girl so you're doing
at the beginning and then when you get to the end you're going to check yourself again now what are you eating you eating healthy or heating just whatever you want well i'm eating healthy for like two slash three of the day ok like like i'm eating really healthy and i'm doing this i saw this on the podcast you did with some girl about intermittent fasting and fasting for one thousand three hundred and twelve hours yeah that's called intermittent fasting and doing that i'm doing intermittent fasting but by the way your teen is what i think they recommend you last meals at five pm or just one thousand pm and then don't eat until noon i am a lost meals at mid at eight hundred pm last night last thing i put my mouth with apm i do seven hundred and nine hundred i have dinner at seven hundred and then i don't until nine hundred in the morning and when i eat in the morning i drink butter coffee like before i workout i just have coffee grass fed butter and mct oil that's what i've been doing and then that's your first that once you have first start using yeah yeah could i go fourteen hours every day without eating
i've been eating a lot of not actions everyday five six days a week i try to do twelve hours every day and then the this thing i do is i drink too huge things of water and then that shit immediately as soon as i have those yeah and and then and then i'll eat i try to eat healthy in the morning i'll heat healthy in the afternoon after hot yoga man i fucking i cannot say no to a candy bar like i don't know if it's my if my blood sugars are probably yeah but i'm like i come home and i'm like i need fucking something sweet and but now you really healthy dinner yeah it's jack what it is you know your body is craving glucose it must be had a score bar cited so quick yesterday unless you have so many calories i mean i don't know how many calories you burn and fifteen they say that's it seven hundred and fifteen that sounds about right well it depends on the effort you know like if you do it one hundred percent like i can post through a class or i can do
everything at one hundred percent and the i've done both and the in the way i feel at the end is significantly different i did one class that was a mix up it was a bit chrome it was hot yoga and it was a it was a little like a little bit and that we did all twenty six poses but we also did flow in between them yeah that was really tough i thought that's the kind you went too i was like i'm never going to joes one 'cause it was like downward dog cobra bore you want yeah we're one more yeah i did on wednesdays do you really class hard very hard class and they add humidity to it really yeah i don't know they said just i said i walked in i was very confident with my wife's best friend and i was like they have ever done hot yoga and i said yeah i do backroom and they're like we're a little i was like no it's i get it it'll be but it's the same supposes right check now there
in between we add humidity so stand by the door like make sure you're matched by the door so they must have like a humidifier in the room or something i guess by the door and it was so much hotter in there that is like burning my eyes and mouth and they open the door and i'm going the doors was like thank god well we got a sauna that were put in the new studio it's actually in already so i can't wait to see this new build a song oh dude playhouse we're going to have the best playhouse ever also exciting it's happening we were set up set to move on monday monday monday we got to do a podcast mu tommy inori again one hundred percent when we're back party and get our hyperx yeah i'm i'm down bring back to baseline i tell i will tell you i miss i've never had a real one of marijuana like i'll smoke it but i've never been a guy that gets high on my own miss marijuana marijuana is a great thing but it's also
great thing to just be alive and be yourself and take a month off of everything i i'm enjoying this i'm enjoying this twelve months i've zero cravings you know i one thing that i miss it was non alcoholic wine the taste of the same because i really do enjoy wine i like one with a nice meal like you know i were harden i when i'm done working i'd like to go to a restaurant and have a nice meal or sit at home maybe cook for myself have a yes this detoxing they called the crocodile shakes i'm having a like a stake in some wind servers of one of the great pleasures one i'm missing i've only wanted booze one day this whole run and that was at the rams game cold beer on a hot day yeah nice cold beer all a beautiful day and i with two buddies and went in there kid and like and
we're going go to the corona little bar area to get a drink okay and i hung out and i was like i definitely want a cold beer and hot gonna and subpoena it's not just all and then and then that trade off your friends are you gonna go up your peers grab me a grubby one and then they come back you got a lot and but in the honesty i got to go with you i really enjoyed being the designated driver i've never done that so like i was like i drive everybody i'm responsible i thought it was really cool to show up and see my kids and be like that stone sober i like i like cold beer when you're fishing oh come on right like armadillo or something you know like hello amber nice look in freezing cold we reach into the cooler and ice falling off the bottle and you crack that fuckery all can heineken
could cold heineken sounds old sam adams on some amazing right now the cold sam adams not only getting are still would taste so good if i want to be on the on on the water like fishing with a cold sam adams so what would be the drink would be the drink if you're sitting on the beach on a beach bar and like saint martins in the sun's getting ready to set and somebody sir can i get you a drink what would be your dream great that margarita along a margarita yeah it's colds got the ice it's got the salt around the ram during a floater she was always mean your party in the whole to kill your partying all i can't wait i can't wait till i can start again i'm going to be with aris halloween night at eleven o'clock or he's like you started standard time clock new orleans we could have our first drink so it's i cannot fucking wait
you guys are going to be in halloween you're going to be in new orleans how we're going to spread quarter your kids going to tweak on that they're not going to be the kids on halloween they were little upset do they want orthodontics or you want to make money or yeah you guys have a job well that to work yeah get over it's just today fox yeah they were a little upset about halloween but we find a new orleans we go out that night i was i was already and i've been talking about it but i was like will go to a nice dinner will go out to the french quarter a little later see every hang out be sober and then come seven p dot m now when are you going to going to do halloween with your kids at all or just going to write it off ok how long on four come back the think orient are going to saints game on the sixth and then me sal vulcano nate and during the joy theater this evening of the sixth
so then you're at home level seventh won't you dress up your cloud when you get home fog that my daughter i love dressing as a clown and preaching the fog out she buys different wigs on amazon and as himself and just throws them on and put makeup on her face so we going to wake up she's going to be at the foot of the bed the don't freak me out the worst is someone dress is a fucking clown in my room dude i don't like that shit is it about clowns a freak people out there that you don't know who's really under that makeup there's like a weird thing right and also the bad choices that you have to make in your life where you wind up being a grown person being a clown like what did you fuc up like what demons are you hiding what mistakes have you made john wayne gacy really up in a kyle who he did because he was a guy that was like the one we were like oh there's something sinister underneath there maybe that's where it started maybe it all started with people it had to write
field like thirty something kids and bury him on his backyard did you ever see what they did a movie on him you ever see what he would do he would god what did he call himself here name for his clown wasn't pennywise pennywise from it i was about to say penny wise he would take he would take trick handcuffs and he'd go to how bring a guy a kid to his house and say here put these on me and then you put him on and then he go behind his back and he can do it he goes i got out in the kid like wait how did you do that and he's like here turn around and then you get real handcuffs and handcuff the kid and then fuckin' kill them so he wanted the element of fear and terror just killing the kid he won the freak the kid out you want to trick to come the two steps ahead of that shit i'm all i am so caught threesome my last drinking in dc i
there's a lot to do with being a baby getting handcuffed by the year requiring these two girls were like let's go to strip club on my cool they're dating and we get there and uh my spidey sense just shows up and they're like you're an open relationship right now is like not at all and they're like oh well as give you drink and more a part is like all other roofing me the they're going to rob me like they don't want to fuck me what do the fuck me they're going to move me get me to hotel room and then fuckin' take my switch off take my ring take go through my wallet take my cash out yeah they didn't obviously did not i'm a little over sensitive about it like that but they got me a drink i'm talking back margot hey make minute drink new drink like when i go out and i didn't see this one coming to me or make me a new drink i'll pay for i don't give a make me a new and then i said the lady i was like hey don't let anyone bring me a drink but you just you brings me a drink she was like ok dude you're paranoid very paranoid about that shit
have you ever been roofied yeah really alot alot how many times you been rooting out four times really yeah when just a i was the party animal in college people just drop it in your drink for a goof when first time having it was a bar i think it used to be called the first date on the first was a place right next door to the first overall i saw the campus and have to me and my hubby fixing up and like that's odd i killed next you know i end up in my roommates dog bed the next day i'm like what happened and then i guess you got fucking you got slip then 'cause you were out of it you were talking to the dog and that was the first time then it just is how i got slipped acid one time by a guy at a party do you party i was a yeah definitely is like all right and then next news like a man enjoy the trip and i was like why would you do that so
give it to you put in my drink and then kept drinking and i end up in a hotel room in the mirror and i'm looking in my eye and in my i can see my reflection of me in my eye and my buddy mike osborne i shouldn't say his name when it's already too late he had drank some of my same drink through sharing that brings a big like thirty two ounce cup and i'm still get my into my eye and i'm like i don't feel right i really don't feel right and i look at i was born and he's my case it in the bathtub he's like these are my feet and i was like i was like as i think we are slips on the manly thing is like you with that one guy this of this land to cry i said yeah he goes yeah he would put acid in your drink people asking your drink david you're welcome drink and i was like oh it's happening i haven't time in phoenix was about to happen i thought was going to happen was really adamant about me doing a shot with them and i said almost like yo man you're not roofing me army are you get looked me dead serious he goes hey man no offense what am i doing his body
so what is how my getting you out of here you see a wheel barrel like like oh yeah good call while he didn't have to carry you out to roof you as roofing and leave you there but i think they are left in the dog bed that's the part of the part of it of it terrifies me of like you know i don't get i don't join people give main i don't i don't do copd if you'll give me coke a lot like i don't do any drugs that they given men like i i appreciate the offer but i'm going to be i don't smoke weed with people anymore i i had a guy in cleveland that i wanted to do i look like a cop like completely like their copy was asked me where to get dmt and was like what and he's like a fit guy with a crew cut who's like real sketchy i'm like what and he goes yeah man we're going to get some dmt i go what are you talking about and i'm looking as come on man you know i go i don't know tell me what you know i go what are you talking about man will you a cop and he looked at me and
next thing you know he's gone it was real sketchy and i was like this i can't be getting high people i don't know you don't know people you never know you run into someone and they put anything u joint angel dust and i know ago that happened to he got slipped angel dust in his weed fuc that yeah i had a comic i've had comma on the go to when comics get in trouble on the road i always get the phone call one i'm need to run something by you i'm freaked out something happened to maine grabbing you right and i had i will call me when i was in dc it was like a am i gay something last night and i don't like i'm i'm still a little sketchy i want to just run it by you i know that this stuff happened you and i talked to him we talked for about an hour he was good and then he's like our daily show appreciate about i feel like a lot better knowing that i'm not the only one that's happened to
but yeah i mean you know people can do it if there you never know someone's motivations i mean you could it's nice to believe almost everybody you meet is great and most people look live your life and never made it one single sick fuck who wants a roof you you could be really lucky or you could run into one the first you decide to take drinks from people that's happened to a lot of people especially women i know so many women have been drugged so many girls have dated girls who are things with people i've dated girls who are dating friends of mine got drugged at a bar itself in common every girl when she gets a drink from bar has to literally like keep her eye on the drink the whole she gets it the bartender or something if somebody gives it to her boy already get a chance you already lost the chain of custody right some guy grab from the bartender who knows what he did before he gives it to you and there's a bunch of twisted fuckin'
men out there man really this up people everywhere but there's a lot of up man i think we we've been talking about this a lot does bill cosby saying that i think that that was a part of what men did back then it was super common yeah i will hugh hefner used to calm any droppers and that this this is like noted that oh there was nothing wrong with giving a girl a quaalude it's a panty dropper some girl wrote a book and said that when she first met half he offered her a quaalude yeah but see here's one thing do you quaalude yes i do and give someone a quaalude and they take it and then there fuckedup another thing to give someone a quaalude and they don't know what they're taking that yes and i think he did that a lot and i think that was the used let's be slipping someone a mickey yeah bill cosby and um that's a different animal and there's another thing giving someone something because you want to suck them and they want to you i got you
talk may want quaalude and now you're going to talk to me because you know you go there you know it's just it's just something really fuckedup about one and that you know i say i kind of say out loud with all this sexual harassment all the dirt that's going around like how did i dodge how do i like how is it because i got married younger but i just never was into that when you first of all you're not a producer whose holding employment over someone's head and try to get them to suck your dick there is uh difference between having you know unsavory male behavior that would be difficult to defend because you're trying to get laid verses what you're seeing it would people are furious about rightly so is predatory behavior nearby a person who's in power affecting someone's employment and career right and i was with whitney cummings about this and because whitney obviously she's a female prominent act
this comedian you know she's been originals and yeah and she knows a lot of these people she was saying which i'm hearing is how many women sucked his dick and got a big part so his dick and made it into a movie got like fight like it was a negotiating tactic like he was just that's how he beated i mean that's how you got laid it's like straight up predatory and then her friend had a really good point she was like what's fucked up about it not that he did it she was obviously that's up but was also up is that that was the culture yeah that's what those guys did before there was the internet before like there was any accountability at all like in the 70s in the 60s like that is what all those guys did that's what they did in a lot of those starlets that that's how you pay to play and that's what they did they had to fuck these guys it's like that's literally how it all went down it's crazy
not that i always thought that whenever i got something like elliott gould and i did a pilot together and is number in my in my dressing room should go to dinner one night and i was like oh i'm going to fuck him is he gay and i kept no i kept dodging him i kept dodging and he'd call him like birdman tally it i still i'd like to take you to a seafood dinner and i was like ok so then we went to seafood dinner down and get venice and we just did really nice and we talked about our user really sweet guy even at the end of the night i was like he's not going to kiss me or anything burton when the bears he was such a sweet guy and then randomly i saw him like five years later or maybe more than that maybe eight years later and i had georgia nila and i was with leanna nose with my family dad we're walking from baja fresh by the screen actors guild we walking out of baja shin saw on the news like bart it's early
i was like hey elliot and my my wife sounds like you know elliot gold nose like he gave me he he in this pilot together and he was playing a blind guy and we were doing pick we just couldn't get the line right the line was at girl came in well is vassy came in she was the bride we were at the bar to get married as you see it's all drinking i'm the best man she's like hey wait i have a beer and then i'm supposed to go of course that's all i had to say of course but they i wasn't getting the of course right they wanted to golf course to really navigate that that me and her cool they wanted make sure that we were cool i mean the whole that works there cbs is all there it's like one thousand one hundred and thirty at night we shot the pilot we just need this pick up i did it like twelve times and then elliott is a blind guy behind me and he leans into mine his bird how would you say it and i said what do you mean go say it the way you'd say it then just leave it stands back up which comes in she goes uh kind of
here i go is a duck ass watertight get over here everyone laughs gets a big laugh and then the director comes up gets right into my face goes hey you're fucking me in the fuqing ask right now do you understand me you are fucking me in the fucking ask you will never work again and he walks way at least then i'm going to go sorry you will never work again the vulcan poor guy was losing his mind but still the the scott i mean it's not the same thing as the sexual harassment but is is this thing of the power over you the power to like literally hold career hostage you will never work again like that is the that's always the big threat the black i mean how many people have you heard were blackballed right you always hear that you always feel like brett butler was brac black bald men i'll be grace under fire she's to be
not shown to you in the nude and by what let's just talk about the side stories you hear about brett butler that the share when you were young you going to a meeting you don't turn about yeah is it not locking yourself up in a tree throwing oranges and everybody yeah like what i i can't talk about it and then you're like what the what kind of crazy person tripler they're doing good morning america one time she was it's personal well she went through some apparently he's been pretty open about it you know what she did charlie sheen's new or show the newer show and in the newer show like she was kind of like that was part of the premise which was a bartender yeah he's kind of alluding to the fact that she'd made some gigantic mistakes and i was kind of like a possible plate to her like to blue she actually was but she was on that show grace under fire and chuck lorre the same guy that did two one slash two men with charlie sheen was a guy running it and she threw a drink in his face an said something
horrible nasty i don't know what she said i don't want to miss quote but it was something along the lines of you know no wonder why your life left to you if you write like this something was what yeah yeah yeah yeah like people look i've seen it people lose their fucking mind when they go for being no one to like in a short amount of time being the star it's grace under fire with brett butler it's rosanne like roseanne talked about it when she was on the podcast she was saying lost my fucking mind guy went crazy she's like is roseanne's the best you ever meet her yeah is awesome i love that lady i love her but she was talking about she's like i went crazy she goes all of a sudden i'm i went from being this housewife i have no money to be in star of this giant sitcom that was like at the time
when she was on roseanne was it like four channels and that was a legit kaechele giant show john goodmans or fuckin' husband at fuckin' show was giant she was queen of the world either do the review in that i know nobody come as an executive producer bodies it is producing it that's amazing yeah he's like he's like dude it's so much fun i'm sure how's it really is like yeah he talked about the writing staff is like nor mcdonald morgan murphy like just killer killers killers but you know but roseanne is in a position that you and i will never be in because it's not even possible to be in that position anymore because there's so many more stars now because there's so many more venues or so many more channels like you were just talking about we're talking about impractical jokers think about those guys were giant right now right those guys these are tv what the fuck true tv who else even watching that right it doesn't matter they made it through a true tv right sebas
is a giant star from what from fuckin' showtime who the hell saw that coming right the only gallagher it was the last guy to get giant through show time and now it's a basket right so it's ten comics in the country making money so that thank you think about all the different possibilities all the different youtube stars all the even cable shows all the different you know there's so many netflix shows i'm going to stand up specials it's a different world now it's really good star she was one of maybe twenty stars you know i'm now there's twenty thousand different world it is a number to it but i think the hubris cut is still rides with it i know i try and i know i'm guilty of a time at times we can get can away and also the pressure of a show rides on your back to that's nothing taken in consideration of all these are the people that are around you and they all have their own little thing then there's a with you and get over it a rhodes your own car concentration in your own
invision and sometimes like hey hey hey it's my fault could show it's the bert experience i'm everybody shut the give me a drink if i mean that's how it all starts i mean that's that's probably apple with charlie sheen you know that's probably what happens with a lot of these people they just get they get whacked out and i think also there's a there's a thing that happens to when you do a bad show it's a particular type of off the rails when you know you're doing an unsatisfying bad show and i think that was one of the things that was happening to charlie sheen news on tuna half men 'cause that was a badge and he was a great actor platoon dude st go back and look at his his his catalog of films that he was an amazing movies charlie sheen was legit and then all sudden he's delivering these lucky punch lines to a canned laugh machine
and he's just doing below and he's got a driving and it's just fucking who knows what he's doing well can get hiv mean he might be the if he got it through straight sex might be the only guy ever that's what they say yeah like little who else you know i mean it's not magic johnson tommy morrison sometimes everybody i've heard some things i mean i think who knows who knows what people are doing who knows but it had a whole lot of guys is it a little handful from this and you have a bit about it really you know they say sam they say the communicable these heterosexuals dive into eagles game on unfucking i name one dance is it's not our fucking dance yeah it was his one of his bits that got him really really criticized but then people will like is he right i had
some people from the cdc kind of my show in atlanta one time and we were joking around and i said something about what what it like like tell me about diseases tell me like i'm trying i'm trying to think of a bit like trying to like pick their brains for something and the guy goes i'll tell you when joke we have so with that and he goes you know we call a straight guy with aids i said what he was a liar i went wow well it could be a intravenous drug use yeah i mean i have tried to uncles died from hiv but i think it's drugs where there's that and there's also the medication they give the people that was apparently a giant issue in the 80s and the 90s um was that um azt that they were giving him az he apparently used to be a keynote therapy medication and is killing people quicker than cancer was so they stopped sing it to cancer patients and there was a lot of like real confusing when aids first came about you know there's a lot like
i remember there was some local story some story in boston about some scientists was trying to say that aids was a derivative of the herpes virus yeah they did know what the it was when it first burst on the scene and by the way do you everybody thought they had it you know i'm a the new but i got my first blood test for h i v in nineteen ninety three and i was my pants i was thinking about every one night stand on the road every freaky girl a let's do shots next thing you know your raw dog in some dirty hotel room in la all my god i'm gonna die you know just i think it i was so scared so scared and then we came clean outside only going to wear condoms from here on out between bella health when you hang up mine in ninety five my first day is tough yeah oh it's so nice oh is terrifying i by the way i've only been with two chicks ever but one of the girls had slept around with a lot of guys like pitch and gave me the clap did she
only two chicks and i got the clap that's hilarious i mean the job crabs now and i went straight to the class the dodgers i went into the dog to just come back from russia she's up my best friend tom was one of the guys use of a few of the clap a guy it's burning i go into the doctor and uh like i remember like a burning sensation but and i'm trying to get in front some like you know i i when i was the did a hike it's what's on a drink out of a trough so it's probably through that news like now did suck a cow it goes because you got the cloud but we've been talking around by the way like i was twenty two the time now i realize this car is probably just twenty seven he wasn't as a grown up presents a kid and he goes i've been running around i just got back from europe i hadn't had is go buddy cheat on you but who knows
man i don't think so isn't it funny to them it's like so obvious it objective you know it's like come on man your reference it happens all the time no no no no not magdeleine mechanism she's a rose she's beautiful she's the ally on my life and possibly loan ask you questions when you go to a bar you in your dick split up so we can cover more territory was like skews me because when you go to a bar when you go to young's junior dick take off in different territories cover more more surface area and then meet up at the end the night going this is who we talked i don't know because then you got friends cheat on you or man get rid of her she's more research is a hora member being like i thought you grown up now i know he's just a kid he's just a kid again and i was like that's impossible because this man i can give you the test yes if you want or i can just give the medication you get rid of it and i was like give me the test it's i'm telling you she's not and then he that i've ever had that ask where they put the q tip of your dick he never had that non it is not
rough one of the most painful things i've ever felt my entire fucking seizes puts the q tip how far down down he swabs it he said how deep halfway i guess so two inches well uh huh music probably nine i didn't get it he probably probably about an inch he goes in and swabs in as soon as he told me go grab on inside the table is going to hurt and as soon as he did it i was like she's a hore she's a hore i had girlfriend went away she went spring break came back with rug burn on her back are lower back looks like wow she just came get some cockamamie story but she was drinking and she rubbed up against a nail is drinking and leaning up against the fence like you rub up against nail over your lower back we will bear just
have to beat a scratch up your lower back on a nail like it was the dumbest excuse ever and i was like ok that same girl we went to new orleans to mardi gras house of my buddies my buddy mike osborne us with all my buddies is the first time i ever did coke we're all party and having a great time we're going to make out with some chicks i go now i got a girlfriend i'm going to and then you don't have any beads i don't give a fuck with cheat on her and then we run into her and she is covered in fucking beat my no at my buddies are like how do you think she got those i think the two places just give him the girls ah sadness thank god for those like is it to get out of your system to get those like you i'm so much more grateful for my wife 'cause she's not that type of person i'm glad i had those boots good to lower your notations too 'cause imagine if you like marry your high school sweetheart you meant when you were sixteen you fell in love she broke your virginity you broke hers
and then one day when you thirty five you come home and she's getting gorilla fucked by a personal trainer who looks like emmitt smith and he just softener in the corner of the couch and just fucking hammer in it you walk in the house it smells like pussy like what it smells like pussy and ass holes in the air like what the fuck is going on and you hear and she's like when you get annoyed you've never heard and you walk in the room right when he's jizz interface imagine the heartbreak see now like having you know what happened to me this is a girl dating we like kind i don't think we're like we were like boyfriend and girl so we're definitely having sex at fooling around and i think i was seventeen at the time and she was sixteen
and uh i used to have a paper route or i'd get up in the morning and deliver papers and i would deliver papers every day three hundred and sixty five days a year so i was up at four hundred clock in the morning on sunday sunday was the big day so saturday night people are out drink and they're still out i'm getting up in the morning and i'm leaving right so it avoided a lot of nonsense in my life i guess party when i was younger i barely party when i was in high school really barely because i was fighting i was fighting and i was getting up in the morning and delivering newspapers so those two things just knocked out all the booze i gives a few moment like one or two times parties a handful of times maybe i drank and smoked a joint or something sony but most the time squeaky clean just worried about you know being hungover and getting my ask kicked and training and stuff like that so yeah i was a fuckedup childhood but we worked out but anyway i get up at clock in the morning go deliver newspapers i go outside this girl
dating is making out with one of my friends in the front seat of a car there both locked up right in front of my house 'cause the guy it was my friend he was also friends with my sister and my sister was friends with the girl and so well the two of them were making small town oh yeah newton upper falls we live in a small town in just outside of boston and there may now right in front of my house so i'm like i'm awake sober i'm looking at them probably drunk during the car grabbing tickets and dixon like that i just slam my hand on the hood and went they both zero thank in the car and drove off shut up but it was good it was good i was like okay 'cause i wasn't sure like we date we boys boyfriend and girlfriend like i won't be at girlfriend are we going to do this i'm going to be boyfriend girlfriend who's that kind of thing like are we dating or just fooling around who definitely having sex but it was like i just not
stop having this one girlfriend that i had i didn't know if i wanted a girlfriend anymore it was like a lot of weird ship when you're seventeen but it's good to just see that early like ok yeah this is a good like it's good to just b devils like when i was eighteen girl that i was dating she moved away she moved to the other side of the state and i went to visit her and i drove all the way to visit her and when i got there she did not have sex with maine i was like wow but she was a very manipulative like she was a very nice she was what it was well obviously she seventeen shin people are weird when that age right yeah but she was it just clearly knowing that i wanted it and just deciding not to and just was but now that's all that was uh super valuable lesson of being like a needy weirdo you know because when you're eighteen you're so navy and just be annoying and if one person wants something too much it turns the other person off you know it's like you become
this weird little thing that you do dude not to say we're into a very creepy area but but like her saying that saying that i've been going through this a little bit more his daughter is starting to grow up and she doesn't need us as which is i mean from being like this little girl they just the entire let's go on a bike ride dad let's go let's go to catch in the front yard till like hey george let's go on a bike ride like i i'm busy how old now thirteen and that's when it happens hormones man yeah it's been it's been i think i naturally tend to that needy guy like i'm going like and i said wifi so said not handling this properly because i want to get i get angry i go who come like i called it do their go after the after the rams game i go here going over to his lips and she was like she's like thirteen shows uh this is the first i'm hearing of this and i go what do you mean the field looking kid i will meet you there she goes down
school is an early night we should probably and i go no no no no no but she once a decision to be home be home like reading a book it's much much round of personal sovereignty she wants to be able to control her own life right yeah but i was there's got to be a dad book out there of like how you to deal with your child not wanting to be around you come she asked just like i used to do this thing where i drop him off and then i just yell i love you until they couldn't hear me anymore like until they far away like i just go i love you and i love you i love you and like other kids be staring at him she said to me because hey why do you do that i was like i don't know i don't know you don't like it she goes there's kids show me that don't know that it's a joke and laugh if you didn't do that looks like ok i've been doing this since she was a little girl and i was just like right yeah yeah yeah yeah i can see that it's creepy and i was like bach man like i do like you can't do that when they're thirty
i love you dad dad my kids are going to wake up yeah your dad loves you there is is needy dude in me but i do feel like it's out of the break up you know when you're going to break up and you love someone they just need my space and you be like but hold on does this mean algorithm movies anymore or something and you'd start panicking i started having with my daughter and i said i would just you know like i'm not assessing her independence well like like i just part of me wants certain need me you know course she doesn't know that she needs me she wants and total healthy for her to establish self is own person and doing stuff but man actor i can see this is just going to get harder well there's one thing to take into consideration that you really can't fix and that's your on the road a lot yeah
when kids are not around you all the time and then when you're there you're really overbearing it's like hey i'm used to my own space and now you're with me and your young and i love you at school and stop yeah stop you run in my thing i'm working on my thing and you're stepping in and following it up yeah and it's like you know i don't like you know think about i don't think about the product i put out i don't think that there's videos of me and speedos or you know i don't think of that stuff but i'm sure that there's kid school that googled me and said some then or i can't imagine what kind of footprint leave behind that she's got sweep up and go and i never thought about that ship before but now i'm starting to realize it and i'm like oh like i said in the other day georgia goes i want to watch i wanna watch the parts of the caribbean five the last one of the six whatever and i was like watch that we start fighting about it and i just want us to be together as a family stone sober obviously and i have a moment of parking office i go hey i feel like a fact
up on the road for seven years okay i should never done i will always feel that way i will always feel regret but these are the moment that i need in my life where we can all be a family and if you guys don't want to because i was gone for so long i get it i get it but understand that someone could just give an inch so that we can just hang out and watch this movie it would mean a lot to me ok i'm going store i'm going to get fish i'll be back in georgia just pops up she goes i'll go to the store with you and i was like i was like oh and then i was like well now i want to go to the store so we go to the store together we handle it though that's why i mean look you can't fix the past right hand man connect knowledge that maybe it wasn't ideal and that's a great thing man to have that kind of honesty because that's a great send to your kid that you know like if you have made mistakes don't pretend you haven't gloss over it just talk about it like about your feelings honestly i mean i think a lot of us were frustrated by the way we were raised in that regard the never
bernie ever saying they did anything wrong ever ever he knows i never i never my dad never once i'm sorry they didn't say that then nobody said then kids shut the fuck up and go outside you heard like nobody taught you anything you just let you know it's just like what you did parents went to school our parents have to work or other and you went to school and then when you got home from school there was nobody there you had a key yourself in the house and i can figure it out stupid those details i mean there's none of that today having one meal and that's what you ate all the time that's what you made yourself mom was a frog in a hole where you put the hole in the bread and put egg in the the bread and you flip it ever had that now he ever had that jamie i don't call it that what do you call it i have something or other i fear is really great the only thing i knew how to make he's put you take a cup and you cut the center out of bread and you dragon you do an egg inside that center and you let it grill
you flip it over there was the only thing i know how to make i must've eaten hundreds of those huh yeah we used to have to cook like one night a week we have to cook to the whole family yeah nose in high school yeah tour learn how to cook i tell you and then i don't know if there's the that their sponsored project but can i tell you one of the things that use my family together is fucking blue apron i swear to god the other sponsored the fact that the fact that they come in and my kids will eat something different and we cook a meal for four and my daughters will be like what is it tonight what's of four to do a print right and we have dinner at least twice a week we get two meals for the week at least twice a we do a blue apron well the good thing about it is how easy it is and there's no waste because everything is pre portioned and yeah the step by step photographed instructions makes it super easy it's a great great sir it really is this sort of selling wine they started and why now yeah this month fuckin' this month there's just this
for me they just started sending me wine wine is nice isn't it do you like wine i was i did six months over when i first started dating leanne yea tell me that we just wanted to be sober want to be sober in the first night i drank was in venice is italy or italy were there denny's restaurant tiny restaurant we were the restaurant it starts snowing is is snows two days after after new year's eve start snowing and i'm like oh this is fucking great so we go to dinner now it's dumping you see it out the window is dumping and lands like let's just get lost tonight and i'm like oh yeah and i go i need i want to draw i want a cocktail i want a glass of wine i want to enjoy this i said drug so i really want to glass once you guys have one who gives a funk have one have a glass of wine have a couple glasses of wine we go out and we get lost in the streets of venice and we're just hopping in bar to bar having a glass of wine and then
walking around one of the best nights of my fucking life and i was like thank you alcohol well isn't it different though in italy like italy is really nice in that regard like this a more relaxed atmosphere like it places that you so it's like a different field now there's we we are making a mistake with the way we live our lives you know i think that the pressure to succeed the hustle and bustle that people have is not counterbalanced in this country by taxation and enjoyment and like family time and like a nice long meal and like appreciating the rest we don't the rest the rest we appreciate a person hours sleeps three hours flock night and is just just hustling all day long constantly hustling hustling there's something to hard work and hustle but man i think it should be counterbalanced and i always feel that when i go to italy i mean we've gone to italy my family two summers in a row and every
when we go there it's just delicious food and relaxation and you're at the beach and sit at the water and just having a cup for drinks and kicking back and it's like my whole being just just he likes all the bullsh it just goes away like i don't pay attention to the fucking news i don't pay attention to schitt i tell my manager my agent you can't get ahold of me i'm gone i'm one for seven eight days whatever it is just leave me alone whatever is put the fire out and i'm just going be eating pasta and just go to these churches check out these beautiful places and went to the colosseum one year the next year we went to some beautiful search in ravello and you see all these amazing places where you just seeing places one thousand plus years old and food that's just fucking incredible you're eating sardines that are fresh right out of the water and pasta so with squid and uh and wine and it's just and you just not
thinking about anything but just laughing and relaxing and i think that's look i'm uh go go go as anybody but i'm learning as i get older that you got also have you got about once that out and you can't like you can't like have that other other on reserve while you're while you're relaxing you can't like beach in your phone and checking your twitter and checking your email constantly you gotta slide that bitch aside you gotta leave it in the room in the safe you gotta do something you gotta just not pay attention just somehow another figure out a way to let go and it's taken me awhile to learn how to do that man i was always like if you're not moving forward you're falling behind you know that's that's always been my thought process have this fuckedup um like aggressive i thought process do more than the next guy that's how you get ahead but that's not all is the case especially in our business which is so depended upon creativity and the mind and i think
your mind like you want you want your mind to be in a good place you know i think like if you're in it my mind is always in the best place when i have good relationships with my friends and my family that's what my minds in the best place that's the most important the cultivate that is the most important thing a lot of times we think most important things like financial success the most important thing is this or that these things get in order you know while we're going to get a new house so we're gonna get a new thing it said this and that and that's all bullshit like those things aren't bad took to have or to as a goal but clearly your bases it's got to be he does how cool but it's got to be things matters of the heart got to be friends and loved ones and family it's gotta be your children and your wife and mom in you're the people that you care about like yet those people like have good times of those people like happiness like that you
i have to have that if you do not have that all that other stuff is bullshit if you don't have friends that love you and you love them and you like legitimately happy to see them and you have laughed together and fun together than all the money in the world won't mean anything to it will be zero if you have a zero happiness register you know you will register zero pleasure for many anshel success if you know you and your best friends hate each other i mean which is you can have that it's not it's not like you know and a lot of selfish people lose track of that they don't understand how important the tribe is how important community is i didn't i didn't at all i didn't understand that at all up until this month as a month yeah i was man i have been at a full fucking pace at a full clip this higher year starting from when we did that weight loss challenge two
when you guys that that australian tour i've been in a full fuckin' and a and i had this on a couple realizations one of them was if i don't talk to joey d as in like a month that i'm working to alexis joey someone yeah and and in joeys joey i think christina you know chris i said the same thing to me when i did there podcast shake your work too much i'm working every fucking week i feel like i'm very blessed to be in this situation that people want to see me do comedy so i'm like fuck i'm in there every week and joe like dog i do two weeks a month does it if i can't spend time with my family to afford a podcast who gives a why don't you just plug in lights up yeah and i was like yeah i'm working too hard i'm working way too hard yeah that's my schedule my schedule two weeks a month i've been saying forever that's not all i want to do two weekends a month yeah we will say oh you're going on tour when do you leave like when do i leave thursday i'm back on monday like we talking about and i don't go for very long i usually
the friday morning i'm back on sunday like i'm not this is not i'm not touring i'm not gonna go somewhere for thirty days that i can't do that i knew of them do that i am doing that coming up but are you gonna do i'm due in two is your ones like a legit what the first once i think starting june it's the call in sick to work tour at the do to other comics we had a tour bus and we're going to do some venues did you organize it already i'm on the process we're in the process well why if you've already decided that two weeks a month is better i because because i don't do what you guys do so you would time very differently than i do 'cause you guys in so you can add shows and it's a big deal and you're getting a more bang for your buck i think when you do a theater i'm still doing clubs i think the money is probably in the money's is it if getting higher percentage but you got to be there wednesday night thursday
friday saturday sunday fly home monday and those just add up into like you don't have to do that you don't have to do that i don't know i never did that i don't i stopped doing wednesdays in like the 90s no wednesday or flying wednesday to do press on thursday i stop doing that but i i feel grateful for those places that had me and when i was in selling tickets and so i know what you're saying dc wide sold out a month ahead of time but i go please my body i have been supporting my whole karere i will be there for thirty more impressed with him that's very nice of you that's very nice of but stop your health very bad for your health could you call into call in when you're on the road but what i'd like to do is like i would like to do go ahead and it some of my friends got tour bus and not kill myself with the traveling do you know like straight out fourteen dates ten dates do the tore make some money and then go and be at the store right right because that's what you guys do and i or do this straight tours straight toward i just don't think they're healthy i don't
i come they wear you out you're always tired you wake up in the morning like fach you got to get to the gym get the gym get something to eat how many more hours for the show two hours i'm going to take a nap and then you always wind up being worn out and that's the thing i don't feel happy like i feel happy the when i'm home more you know like a it just i don't like i can't go thirty days i can't do thirty days with most i can do is i only this is 'cause the travel channel but i can do two weeks ago in two weeks at the end of two weeks i'm like giving the falcom a few years ago i switched to just fridays and saturdays there's like actually quite awhile ago maybe maybe one eight or nine years ago but it was one of the best things i ever did because i did i don't like i would think about like doing thursday and sunday and like oh then you just feel like it's taking up too much time i would rather do friday and saturday on the road and then come back home and if i wanted to set sunday i'll do a fuckin' set at the store the improv or something like that just driving a town
have a good time get home i just think there's a once that you have to have like we've all seen those guys that are older and really burnt out you know they just don't have any energy left for anymore and they feel like it's a burden a pleasure like i go on the road now it's a pleasure you know like i'm taking most of them smooth this month off did uhm the sixth the meraj in vegas i'm doing all the as of the shows i do in hollywood i'm doing a shitload of shows i did too last night i did largo and i did the store the night before i did the improv than i did sets at the store so i'm doing a lot of comedy but i'm home you know i'm doing this being home has been really enjoyable i go to i go to chicago in a week and i'm i'm i'm x because i'm going to be flying so i'm excited for that i'm excited to do a week sober and see like you do some hot yoga in chicago nice like i'm excited for chicago but then
but then i go like like in november it starts up hard again and i'm like like it cancel is i've already committed to these days i cancelled austin and everyone lost their shirt how'd you cancel it why did you cancel it so we're doing this month and i didn't show up in my calendar and then it did one day i was like nah i can't you can't because of the sober my cancel i was coming off of australia dc and then i would have gotten six days often gone right back on the road i'm like no man this is about getting healthy and being like getting my mind back about me right and so by if you got if you to refine your money just call the box office a loss in the refund your money him do it was a serious that's a serious choice right yeah i doubled i'm i'm not talk to tom almost everyday and i talked him about a lot about this business and uh like i'm at the place where they're adding you know to sunday shows an extra friday showing extra saturday show another thursday show he's already theaters uh
if you doing all that if you have all those shows i'm doing theater two theaters next year next year yeah i didn't like the money offer i see the money offered for me you have a good manager yeah yeah yeah the love i just left a meeting with her yet she's great but the literally the problem i didn't like the theater tour offers this year he was a member candid it was the money was just shit right and i was like this is the one year i can make money i can make i can make x of dollars at a club by doing i get ninety percent of the door and do an well thirty dollars to get it you can get some real money yeah or i can do theaters in its about prestige for maine it would be about oh i do
as as opposed to ten never meant jack to me but it does offer some comics i think it's stupid are these new ridiculous i got mad i'm a literally had an agent tell me now that you've you're doing theater so you can go back to clubs like years ago when i first started on contiguous mike what are you talking about stupid i have to do clubs yeah like i do the laughing scone atlanta by the way you know it was there this weekend because he in edwards won the best comics live yeah it's only like ninety seeds nothing is eighty eight is it yeah i know that because i stopped doing exactly i make my money i did that two years ago or maybe a year and a half ago i do everything i do little places i do the comedy works in denver still yeah i do those i think you got to do those i think you got to do the little spots man you know you guys house constantly i didn't wise guys in utah yeah i know yeah i remember that i remember all the time i was there when they put those tickets on sale and i think you came in as a call sold already like one
your buddy joe just sold out already already already had just walked away i was like wow i think it's like working out i think you have to weight lifting but you also have to have yoga you have to have running but you also should do something else like i think you got to have a balanced approach to stand up and one of the things is like intimate rooms like being right in front of bowl and then also not sometimes being in a big gas place like i'm doing the belco theater in denver that's like six thousand people that's the kind of place that you you have the big show it's like you're it's not in a minute but your that gets honed in all these other places to this razor sharp edge and then you go that place just walk send it home yeah and the roars of like six thousand people it's crazy it's nice to go into a big theater and go like i'm doing the wilbur i think in january or something i think i'm doing two shows and i think i like what i love about
that is you go in and for me i can do the hour i'm working on the hour i have the hour this new and then when they other the machine i go it's a theater it's called an encore of course i'll do it thank you for coming to my show flying all right guys there's nothing after me you won't find so here we go i always say hey listen i get if you have baby sitters and you need to go home please leave talking with me i did my show but these are for people to hardcore fans i don't have a point in time we gotta stop doing that story though you see it online because like do you think that a certain point in time bill cosby should have stopped doing that noah's ark joke it really i'll put it backwards ron white the white yeah never dinner salad i don't do it yeah can i what i really want to see him do it like if i go watch it online no a serum white going to see new i do but if you said wrong it's going to do an hour of new material and by the
at the end is a non query does tater salad i'd be like oh sweet i yelled out one of my shows recently bruce and i'm like can't do it anymore man i don't even know how to do that bit i literally don't know how to do that bit i'd have to think about it i have to go over it when i'm done i'm done put that she decided to move on but i think that story that's only for men by the way i would love to not do the story i would love like then not stop doing it now hold on though that story help from me he is such a defining like it's the a lot of people found me and for a lot of people it's my nickname it's everything about me it's when i stages right first thing they're all yelling is they're all yelling the machine but they just love you dude that's a that's a great story but if you have other great or is the love those two i died tell i do but our plus of new material every show but man is love in that i do not ok then don't do it i don't know
that's why i'm looking forward to this theater tour the wilbur is great i'm doing my netflix special there are you serious yeah i'm going to do it there in april first did the wilder common in baby for some of the wilbur as the year goes right after the weight loss challenge numbers were super slow did the weight loss counseled out the next day all right crazy so i go go to the wilbur and i'm like this is fucking amazing big fucking room i've never performed a room big by myself like sold it myself right so i wanna see what it looks like from the top like i want to see like what that so i go up climb up the top of the stairs at the top i go stick my head out and i forget i'm the person everyone came to see like i like i cause a fucking nightmare of a really should it you would have you doing up here and then everyone moves or something like that while you're at the shows that they show the fuckin' opening accidents page and i just never done that like i don't know the guy that was the feature act so i could go in and be in the back row this is beautiful i never been
the guy right and i fuckign caused a shitshow on the third floor he can't do that yeah i didn't know that yeah it's nine hundred people there man can't do that that's a great club too because it's three 300c comedy clubs essentially yeah three levels and it's like three three hundred seat levels so it's like intimately but there's three of them and they just stacked on top of each other sieges roars but there are also right there it's not it's like one the most intimate nine hundred seat venues you'll ever work at it was one of the best shows of my entire life i like where i just like that's it right there bam son fucking love that yes the wilbur well but theater that door on the left i walked right in that door and walked up like a fucking idiot there's a bar right up in between those two doors yeah and i just i was doing that place in the late 80s really yeah
there was a wilbur theater has two rooms it as this room and it has another room that's downstairs and that room used to be called duck soup which is name after the marx brothers movie it's hilarious movie i have never seen it it's fucking hilarious i've never got any see it it's all it's all i was type of comedy i don't know what it's called but it's like slapstick now it's not a slapstick it's like hey what a god the guys like i don't have one he's like no go grab me one down the street huh like it's like kind of like a it's a five buck and movies on the ship period style commonly get a sense of like the way the people thought yeah yeah it's like it's like kitschy almost like misleading words like that like almost like airplane like we look at this hospital hospital what is it it's a building with a lot of windows but that's not right now like those kind of like that kind of comedy yeah like dabbing costello who's on first what's on
yeah so yeah anyway duck soup was a an experiment that the owners of the comedy connection did this is back when they really thought that comedy like clean comedy was the future and they so they decided to create an upscale comedy club a very up scale comedy club and serve like really good food and have like super squeaky clean acts perform there only was a disaster it didn't fast 'cause it was like everybody is like what the fuck like guys like sweeney and guys like lenny clarke who like you know they had a lot of dirty jokes they couldn't do the dirty jokes there like they were trying to like somehow or another like pure disaster is one of the owners of the comedy club had this fucking idea in his head that clean comedy was the future really classy clean comedy wanted just squeaky clean comma i mean squeaky clean no sex jokes no nothing it was death so they bought this they set this place up they spend a shitload of money on construction they put this thing together and it was gone
and within a year really and then it became an improv then but friedman took it over as an improv and i think they were in business with him for awhile i think bill right might have something to do with it and and then it went under and then the comedy connection open in faneuil hall so they had a comedy connection down the street that was a great club at one point in time dude they had the comedy connection in on warrenton st which was like one hundred and fifty seeds and next call stop which down the street which maybe three hundred seats and then and they had nicks comedy stop at one point had three rooms they had the upstairs room they had a downstairs smaller room and then they had this disco that's now a gay bar that's at the bottom and that was something they took over so they had three shows going consecutively so they have like steve sweeney would go on there and then he would go down to the small room then he go over to the big room and he would do three shows like that so he would do six sets or
nine sets so like yeah six pro two shows but six sets of two shows you know two like an eight hundred and ten but in eight to ten in all the rooms yeah oh will do six sets of night and then some of the guys would go over to the connection do a set go over to nicks and do a set and then duck soup opened and so like duck soup was degree that they got greedy got and that went under and that went under bill blumen who is the genius behind he still owns over right yeah he's he's uh the actual wizard he's like well fuck are you guys doing this let me buy you out in front i got here get out here and we take care of this and so bill took over the comedy connection in faneuil hall and that i became like a big success and then they goes you know he just said i listen i could fill this fucking place up this is like four hundred seats why don't i just buy the wilbur so he bought
wilbur and now that's like nine hundred seats now so that's that's the common connection now and just brings in big acts but the problem is that boston lost it's like local thing they lost like the local scene a lot of the older big time headliners they got older and older and his people sort of forgotten and then open mic night scene once patrice left in once per left the you guys coming up there's not a strong and i think there is now laugh boston's got a good scene last time was there they were pretty excited about the scene there saying this a lot of up and coming guys coming and gals excuse me and binary nonbinary people and they've developed like you know good group of like local people that are really doing the right thing trying to trying to really get good at comedy but push it there was stitches and there was a catch a rising star in cambridge there was some uh again sam's how to show it's fucking crazy like for a
call town i mean boss not small but it's not a huge city like chicago or new york for this this lovely small city you had a fuckload of comedy and really good comedy that's what i love about the stories that you could hit three stages in one night i do it all the time to trifecta yeah i've done i've done that like three or four times this year yeah i mean i'm i'm due to their regularly i love jeremiah's new state new material show yeah that's correct that that's what i wrote that joke the helen keller anne frank joke yeah yeah some guy just said on stage as i used to think they're the same person i page in the back you like that better be a fucking pit and i'm like no i'm just an idiot and then i open up flying builders with that and i was like that's still yeah i love that show it's a fun way an exercise i by the way and i just started getting the vibe like it took me along time to understand the or like
no are for me was a little bit of an uphill battle the main rooms always been it's like it was a great just a great performer like and i was looking at the or as like like more of like less of a club and more of like a workshop like no no no no you just get this is where you have to be able to sling guns you've got to be able to change subjects moving the jet look to really read a crowd and take their energy and move with like in this until it i say this but like in a rich oscar away he some of the could get o the or honestly you know 'cause he can read it audience and take the energean push it well it's a very intimate room to like a lot those guys from new york they used to be in on top of people because new york club we're very small which is really weird right 'cause new yorker so big but the space is small like you have of small spaces like you ever do the stand or a stand up new york new york is a perfect example like you could barely move on stage or caroline carolines is like a day of to table this table yeah you mean that this type of
bigger than stage caroline's and when you're you're there you're on top of the people there sitting right in front of you it's it's it's odd you know you still like where you from sir like that's why a lot of new york calms talk to the crowd and they also do like fairly short chunks right bits are smaller and that's all because they're sets i seven minutes long yeah i like the number coming out here with bobby kelly went public with probably the first night spot out here and uh age and i was like i remember i had gone where the puerto rican's that was like wait what am i going to talk about and i remember bobby getting up and going both of us are sitting back is like i don't like this clever joke clever ship be funny and both of us were like yeah how come they can be funny us yeah but with the words were used to like the analogy working out doing stand up in new york was like working out in the prison yard you had a broomstick and cinder blocks and you just wanted to get big enough so you couldn't get raped in the shower
and then working out in el a was like almost like being at a gold's gym you were sculpted you look good but you couldn't defend yourself in a real room and so like i looked at it that way and then i was like so if you do the road you can do a little bit of both and you can really have fun i think the road is where i really learned how to do stand up like for like doing an hour yeah that that was like you you need to be able to well you i have to do an hour that translates in kansas city you could do it florida strangers said that he goes you do goes they are going to anyway i want the art form is making strangers laugh yeah and you're like yeah you gotta make people that well that's why out of people who do like to do drop ins they don't people coming to see them they like to do a set where people don't have any idea they're going to be there there's a thought there's definitely a good there's a thought process to that i did largo last night which is what was that like they laugh at your setups like this
set up say their fucking dying laughing at the set up since it's so odd that say so polite it's a beautiful based on the rooms amazing it's a great setup yeah i mean it was weird didn't notice meltdown one time and and just told a story like just a story that i was working on and it so hard nose like this is a really legit comedy club fan in love comedy yeah any little nuanced to a joke there like they appreciated like men that well played i saw that movie in high school the alt homes though the problem with those rooms is that if you just work those rooms and then you try to do a set in the orur foxville you try to go on after joey diaz in the r and all you do all rooms and by the way the atom that sick fuck he will throw you on after joey diaz if he thinks you do a lot of all rooms you know like i don't want to mention any names but i've seen people just incinerate up there you know
'cause used to this like really polite set up sort of crowd the comic store you get a lot of this you have people that are like come on is the best club in the world huh cool come on you know you see they're drunk yet rising number hecklers the the the the back play is always fucking talkative like you have to that's a terrible design like they've been people figure out a work around maybe you could figure it out i don't know what the fuck to do but that back hallway always people and their talking and then even if they're not talking to people off to the side of the parking lot that leaks to the back of the room like you'll see people that are in the back of the store in the or you see them turning around all the time like what the fuck is so loud back there i was on stage one time and clearly i must say july go clearly someone very famous just walked into the hallway
yeah 'cause i could hear everyone like oh hey what's up yeah and then here's loudon immediately i just go i'm whoever i'm planning on bringing up next is not going up and i get the light and i look over i go who's next i'm dying to know and they go it's luis i went ok that's what i thought yeah you could tell telling somebody said just a bad set up in that regard you know the r is a bad set up in in the sense of that hallway but it's a great set up and so in the sense of the size as the space in the intimacy of it yeah the main rooms perfect manners perfect perfect perfect yeah i know that you great hang out in the back is the best you can't hear yeah me and sand tino and bill burl are and chris to lee last night were for talking howling just making each other laugh just talking shit and just having a good time talking about nick stand up special oops sorry it was just we had so much dick doe ever seen it yes
we're having such a good time just talking just shooting the shit talking about you know clubs on the road and do it's just it's like you get a chance talk shop you know get silly dude back there look out there's stones in your life where you go these meaningful yeah i remember a night i was i was just i doing birth conquer again and you m ber were sitting you were standing sitting in that corner seat with the door opens over to hit you and both you i remember you i don't know what have you go how much money is enough money i went what and they're like and you guys look at each other like i mean it's money like how much money do you need like you're doing on the travel channel again and bars like and nothing nothing you show socks like i just to stand up for both you sat there now and you're like you're good stand up man don't know what you're doing on this tv show just get back to stand up and i was like only tell you get that conversation and only your friends i remember i'm not going to get the funk you like dude you mom
roger podcast you do the road and you could hang out here and we all like i don't like is this your show you really happy it's so important to have friends that will tell you that too because sometimes you don't think you can do it you feel like i have to stand the contract i have to have to keep working but i knew you were on the road for like fucking week at a time like but you don't want to do this you're a funny guy yeah and you're not really working to stand up that much let's be honest you go on the how do you do stand up for weeks at a time i try to put in a date like jamming a date in between touring but we're doing travel channel but the truth was i'd be away from my family and then ibm s and not only that it's not enough like odd it doesn't do it's just like you go wow's rusty that's all you're going to do you need to be stand up comedy is like running you take 'em off running you're going to be out of shape now you gotta be fucking constantly going at it it's it's beautiful grind yeah my lap so glad you decided to bail on that shirt too so things to watch is on nose ones of my fitbit
i ran around the time i'm at four miles yeah but i keep it i keep it just to track my eighteen thousand steps but you want the other watch as well as a gift sentimental value is something that i'm isn't even right oh really it's like a bracelet bracelet basically a girl yeah gotta bracelet on guys wearing bracelets disturb for me could you doing there is a period when i was little few bracelet drives me nuts guys with like three bracelets on one wrist like hey you stop especially like italian guys like three gold bracelets brenda pinky ring a jury guy no no i've been a jury guy at times your jewelry there you have a pinky ring never have a diamond ring no have diamond ring i had a platter of bracelets before so yeah i don't i barely my car a seriously yeah i watch my corvette that's the only one i wash dog
my porsche i wash but the corvette it's just it's barely a car the core is like a art piece the funny thing about you is how how onyx jordan are you believe you are i'll tell you when we terminated the first hot yoga with the hot yoga we got done and we were really fucking floored and the first thing he said or is not doing it right there's no way do these and they and the second thing tom said was you know at this point in joe's day it's only like ten in the morning and he hasn't done kettle bells run or a podcast or set yet i'm going home and eating candy bar going to bed but that's the one and there's been pushing me through this month as i go alright i'm going to go and run now i'm going to i'm going to do more do more today that i normally do and i think that is only achievable
is it only people with a real true balance of like being sober and healthy and yeah not just getting off rails all the time yeah because if you do go off the rails of time your body just not capable of working hard and if you're it to either their steps right it's like you can't just stay run six miles a day and doing kettle bells then taking a ninety minute yoga class you're not going to have the energia bodies not you're not conditioned to do it but you workout you can work up to those things you could start off with just a light half mile run you could start out with junior tested in ninety minute yoga class you know you could start out doing all these different things and then over every time you build up conditioning and strength and health and you know i'm fifty year well dude i've never been in better shape of my life never been more healthy i workout all the time i feel great i mean really do and i always want to tell people that like you can't eat and obviously a lot of people have way more
requirements and i do in terms of like your your day job and stuff like that but the more effort you put into keeping your body healthy the better your i feel you're just going to have more energy i feel good all the time you know and i feel better this week or this month this twelve days in i really do i do too i love it i don't know i i i i i think of the first things going to be hard for me to take a few i feel like i'll be letting myself down because i i get like i teetotaler i first drink i probably do to bed does shots drink he'll have a glass of whiskey with ice something like that i saw him do shots in calgary here oh yeah and then we lost him he didn't used to drink i know when i first met him he didn't drink it all had smoke weed but he didn't drink it like he i'm a drink and when we moved to new york was out really yeah i never remember seeing him drink ever remember when we lived here we go to
the store do sound like a podcast or something and he get high but he just he didn't have heat candy does his thing like i can't imagine candy now mike i fucking love candy yeah well after a workout nothing wrong with that some people actually like candy like a lot of lifters on a lot of people lift they like to eat candy they work out really yeah we punish those sugar supplier the muscles controversial some people don't agree with that some people do it some you know it depends upon what kind of diet you have normally you know i as they were from bread and pasta that's it that's awesome yeah that's a big one do that you'll be you know my friend cameron hanes is running the moab tomorrow he starts the moab two hundred and forty which is a two hundred and thirty eight mile race and he's been running a marathon a day for months in preparation for this and he begins a two hundred
thirty eight mile race you could track it at ww be a dot moab two hundred dot com m o a b two hundred dot com and i you're going to be able to track his performance and where he's at and it will take shed probably and also you outdoor they'll be posted live video at ua outdoor you outdoor under armour outdoor i think that's you out or the instagram page right click on that real yeah it shows all his stuff he's out there represent an under armour running his fucking it's funny it says when i first started off running i struggled with bike a now two hundred mile race is it's not that i was with this amazing talent your body gets used to what you ask of it if you don't ask much of it is going to give you much if you don't ask much of it it isn't going to give you said twice for some if you ask a lot of it
it will give you a lot so we should tell them that they repeated that sentence you can edit that edit that shit jesus christ under armour you should together he's a fascinating guy man it you know whatever with the podcast thing has done its introduced me to people like him and adam greentree who are just i find fascinating yeah and it may not fan made me a table i picked up today i put it on my instagram and that he just put like all the i guess all the stuff i dig and he wanted the things he put on the side was no one cares work harder yeah like yeah t shirt yeah it says one of his sayings and that's that's real i post something on instagram today that there's less to this you it's we're talking like i'm i'm very self critical like super hyper self critical one of the reasons why i'm hyper self critical as i know people who are israel savages who really are doing ordinary things and
people who are self congratulatory for no reason drive me fucking insane why don't have close up your grand but your it's like half joking yeah yeah but i but i have a very low threshold for reward i do i do it is like a storm drain but again and i had i i think i have like like i that's why i'm doing the half marathon so like i need to start i want to start test myself i want to start saying to myself let's break too hours in a half marathon let's see if we can do that right but you're right there is i think i do with physical stuff because i was an athlete growing up and i just go i can always jump back in but we want to to stand up man i am beyond fuqing critical i look at some of these people put hours and i go like like like i'm not going to name names but man there's some people people have said who'd i will say names but they close their special history jokes and i was like yeah you can't match
you don't have friends i never yeah yeah are you sure this day my friend i would have told you don't do that shit was she wouldn't listen but here's the thing man a lot of people that get caught up in that other stuff is one of the things we were talking about like you do in the travel channel imagine if you're doing movies all the time you do one hundred and twenty three movies year movies you know how that grind is sixteen hours day on set you don't have time to hit loves you have time to grind you're not going over your material you of your lines you're taking naps you fucking tired all the time because especially if you're not an athlete not someone who's like really fit and healthy and eating really good foods your body is worn the fuck out by the time those three four months of filming are done and then you have to do press junkets and you have to do that and then you know someone netflix hbo comes along and offers you all this cash to do a special can you do it yeah you're not going to say no and by the way your agents your managers in less there fuckin' top
of the food chain they don't know shit about what it takes to do stand up because they don't do it you have to have really good manager goes listen we really need to manage the time that in the energi the focus you put on your act because you one shot at doing this act and i and that up before got a lot of us have before we've all done set where we weren't really prepared we weren't really and you don't know what what it takes until you do it wrong and then you feel the sting of mediocrity and then you realize like oh there's no substitute for running two hundred miles you have to fucking run every day there's no substitute there's no substitute for stand up here to grind you have to grind you've got to watch your set you've got to go through as it wears a lazy writing you got a much of the good writing and last hour special i did i think the one that really helped break me to sell tickets and whatnot was was me looking at it from the person travel channel perspective of lazy just get the work done get it up i just get
the last i don't give a fuck and then and it's hanging out with the with going club i'm there's a lot of laziness in this act and going i need to i need to really be honest with myself and go this is this is hacky like this is i'm not doing the work in the special i think that applies to everybody that does everything it's not just to our creative endeavour of stand up comedy if you you're whatever you're doing if you're a fucking engineer if you're a chef whatever it is whatever you're doing where you focus on an it gets good if you feel there's more on it it will get great i mean it's just you have to figure out what's missing in it where is the weak spots where is the holes what could be done better approach it from a different angle you know one of the things that i will do and i've been this is a thing that i've been doing a lot over the last two years i'll take a bit that i know is killing it's doing well i'll take that bit i know it's done so now i look at the same subject with open eyes but completely fresh
and then i try to rewrite it i try to rewrite the bit i've got right quite a bit almost as if i don't even know how the other big goes and i write a new version of it and sometimes when i write a new version of it i'll have a whole new take that i can add to the first version and the only you do that is if you're not complacent the only way you're willing to do that is if you you hate yourself if you want to just grind it out all the time yeah hi there are this i'm working on now i feel like a feel like i've gotten two meticulous with it like i've gotten to the point where i go every joke step closer come i'm i'm really doing more stories i'm not like doing more like premise joe i'm doing legit like story that's what you like to do right yeah well you know what i have to credit already on this is i didn't realize i was doing i was doing like mateer will you know like have you ever put a vegetable in your checks make sure to use a carrot not a cucumber cucumbers do you know like those kind of like fun
good party stuff right mediocre mid comedy at best an i think ari was the first one there was like dude your stories are really good and we started about what he was doing doing this is not happening we started talking about stories i got really into it was a guy much better at stories than trying to do what everyone else is doing if i can do my shit and just be me like i felt like i was people stealing material from me so i do a premise and i was like it's common ground like get pulled over by a cop or you know it's like who's stealing material from here right so i'm not you know i'm not getting into this so but you get into stuff in your like and then i was so these stories about me like the machine sorry totally so fucking much like i remember i've said the times just said a million times more i did this podcast new like that you store that's your clothes are you need to fucking figure that out and i went to columbus ohio that first time i was a that next weekend there's a kid the front
there's a control machine right and i was like no it's not it's a grogan said you should tell it bert bert we understand it won't good that's i remember being like oh these are i get like ok i learned so much out of telling that story about how to write stories and how to do stories and i think you know people come to my show they one of a good time i don't wanna hear my view on feminism they don't unless you're you view on feminism is really funny yeah liz it's funny later it's what you've you feel but like but if you like saying how many comics right now are so like us a lot of liberal comics are like agenda first only second and i'm like damn let that guy that's crazy i'm not going to push out agenda you want me just going to make sure you have a good time tell you the time i got fucked pissed on a table i talk in in all that rain what ever your gender is it happens to be hilarious like it's gonna be organic right and that's you know i mean don't think you should put yourself in any sort of a box yeah i i've i feel like i feel like if i if i like it i'll do it yeah but then i died this
is it about catcalling that i thought was so fucking good but i was like i was like what are you doing do it if you like it don't worry about it man you can't box yourself like i remember one of tony change clothes ex girlfriends was like i think tony should be all dark like what hotline she was i think i think we should just stick to all dark and i know what the fuck are you talking about why would he do that how 'bout just be funny all the time i had talked to him but he's like she hates my bit about squirting
i'm like she didn't like the fact that he was doing sexual jokes so she was trying to like give him some relationship advice like he should be all dark just be moody and dark santa fa cup is like when you say something in the green room and yeah you know one of the comics then he gets up and leaves another car because it's just so you know his dad's gay that's the worst here like why didn't you tell me that in the middle of it is like i want to see where you took it when you go places do you get like a crowd in the green room like we your guys show up like yeah that's not good yeah and they always want to like reach into the fucking cooler and grab beers and talk too much oh yeah two thousand nine hundred and five computation problems so i just would i just believe myself no i just leave alone green room i've had that a number of times does the
first man when you show up on the road and like the the green room becomes like a hang out hey this is my body he's a big fan and and this is his girlfriend they're gonna let me ask you a question how do you write your jokes shop in so how do you come up with material it's funny i've been thinking about doing stand up for awhile 'cause a lot of people at work tell me i'm really funny and uh you know i mean i watch you when i go hey maybe i can do it i get the thing i get the most is people in the meet and greet line going i gotta tell you my machine story so i mean there's one hundred and fifty be behind you sir these long ones i these ideas lesbians who wouldn't stop playing with my dick nice i didn't mind it we're doing the pictures on there lesbians are barely counts give girls like i haven't felt a dick in a while and i was i would do a picture who used to be a seems to be a non lesbian yeah just be a breeder what happened why did you go to the darkside did you ask her know but she
you got me hard lazy would not stop playing when she's doing she definitely did during pearl terrible girl when you find someone like who pose powers sexuality like there's a growing i was like hey can i like people always go hey can i grow carpenter nipple in the picture is my shirt off i go yeah yeah whatever this one will take up with nipple was like yeah she did some sex stuff to my nipple that i literally knocked my wind out of me i went hole was like hey can you tell me what you did so i can tell it in my wife like those fucking amazing you could say my nipple in a bag fault don't feel shit useless they don't work don't even work god dam things up numb like elbow that's what it's like football very simple it's very similar to an elbow i don't know man ball sack like you could paint my ball sack with pliers i wouldn't feel it
skins not very sensitive but it is when they take this right let tickle my go right up in maine they suck up yeah really like a way chiru master like if someone asks they would do they would suck their balls up into their bodies kick in the nuts and doesn't even hurt really know i thought they did though he's fucking idiots but they're a bunch of guys that get kicked in the balls and they somehow another can endure it oh we did we had a bit on the tv show where there was a strap you put the ever see this now it looks like a seat belt but it goes around conquer it goes it knows for some spike show it goes around your feet and then it rides your inseam so it's it looks a seatbelt but it's it's an in shorter than your inseam so theoretically when you kick it your foot the foot the strap stops the foot for his your balls okay so that makes sense so imagine if you had really really strong in themes and you couldn't get to the ball 'cause the inseam didn't move constructor your feet yeah so we get a punter
and a professional planner and call gag is if i get it i'll get kicked in the balls but i got this is going to get the strap on fun right right so all right i get kicked in the balls so i'm standing like this but as he goes to kick i squat down and i then loosen the tension and she's crying i got kicked in the balls by a pro paner oh my god is fine i went down and would lose a ball from that man very easily i know a couple i have lost a ball a yeah they get kick the nuts and sparring and they lose a nut i thought i lost it not once in a tournament my balls swell up like a fuckin' golf ball it was like this some more like all black guys it was it was big and bread and it turned purple later it was awful yeah i really thought like because i had in the old says the cups that you would have were like they were cops that would sit in jock straps an he would throw a kick like a lot of time
the ball would like poke out from underneath the cup so when you get kicked in the nuts that cop was slamming into your balls not good now they have really good compression shorts in the balls like get rich like there's thing called diamond mma cups they suck straight to your body in the outside so often they cover all your junk and it doesn't go anywhere you could literally get kicked in the balls these things on to be okay and they have the steel tie cups which are the most ideal most uncomfortable but the most ideal because the big tie up through your asshole like a g string like fuckin' crank up back there and the time i thought but it's a steel cup everything is just talking shoved in there man i remember when i was a kid and they just pulled a cup out of the out of the bag and it by itself in the throat in your underwear yeah they do that and you have to raw dog the cup in your underwear just say and all of your deck what a stupid design balls are yeah on outside right and everybody knows it every knows
now they hurt like there's nothing that hurts other than your eyeballs things it's like your balls everything hertz right within your ipod yeah it was even the eye hard yeah horrible right yeah that's that's your balls man i said to someone one time we were about to do this snowball fight for professional snowball fight so they take them with snow pack them and they're basically ice rocks call ug gossen in alaska and so we're about to do it and the night before i said to someone no like you can hit me in the deck it would i'd rather be hit the deck on in the balls in there and those are the scroll on it she was like you telling me you have no feeling in your deck and i feel in my dick but like if you punch me in the dick like just yeah you hold my dick in punch me i wouldn't as bad as if you help my balls my hand punch me so because they were doing this year he goes and someone took the snowball right when it starts and it hit
on the head of the dick and i thought it exploded in my pants i thought when i my hands were cold so i couldn't feel i was like when i touch this dick it be in pieces on now like cigar and it hurt i've never felt pain and then she came up as i'm riding because i thought i could punch you in the it wouldn't hurt i was like i was wrong when animals like animals all have their balls in the outside but they've never figured it out like i think chimps probably figured it out but when they fight other chimps they attacked the balls 'cause i know they do that with people when chimps attack people they rip your dick off and then but you're write your fingers off rip your dick off they pull your eyes out twenty do they know what to attack they're not to kill you they're trying to maim you try take away what what you need and want back and ruthless little animals i did a podcast with calvin the other day and i go and i love the way his brain works and the first thing out of his mouth have you ever seen a hairless chimp
and no and he pulls it up and i'm like he's like the woman was big leaving with that thing bathing went like sleeping with it she's having sex with it most likely to hide too she as she would just give the chimp xanax yeah given xanax and red wine the one that or that lady's face off in connecticut connecticut giving him xanax red wine yeah look the muscles on not only that the the problem is we look at that and go oh yeah it's like a body builder nor now that's a chimpanzee like those muscles are like corded steel they might be the same size as a bodybuilders muscles but the dance city of those muscles is off the fucking charts look at the is it cool scheme arms are dude believe me i've spent years of my life staring at naked chimps but that's it with mange that's what that is there some sort of disease disease his hair falls off will you really see their anatomy yeah a stunning difference between them and us i mean there's a lot of similarities
it's really really interesting is that that is an intelligent animal i mean an intelligent animal that now uses tools so much so that anthropologists are now thinking that or biologists rather what would it be what would it be the studies champs z well no devil knows anyway whoever the fuck studies chimps they have i think they've universally concluded that chimpanzees have entered the stone age so they are using tools without being taught so by other champs they're using tools independently and they're using tools constantly and they use in all kinds of different tools and so they think that with going to happen is eventually they're going to figure out a lot of other stuff and it could take hundreds of thousands of years but can panzies literally chimpanzees are monkeys have entered the stone age i mean this is from the bbc they're using
rocks and tools in there cutting things and breaking things open with tools and he would say it's not the workmanship that makes them special if any a casual observer might struggle to even identify them as engine tools it's not there and that's exceptional either they're only about the same age as the egyptian periods what makes these tools know where at the the hands that held them or human these own tools were wielded by chimpanzees competitions and mccall ox hi sarah oxides hills monkeys i thought i was on the call but it's a bird i i don't know anyway monkeys the sites where they have been on earth or the basis of the brand new field of science primate archaeology so what they're saying now is if you think human beings right at one point in the history of human beings
are we were far more primitive than we are now right if you go back and if you if you want people believe in evolution if you go so all the way back you know we were some sort of australia pithecus right it's like some sort of uh pansy like humanoid thing and that we more and more intelligent for whatever reasons and over the period of two million years the human brain size doubled and they think that hunting they played a part of that cooking food might have played a part in a bunch of factors played a part in that but they think that if chimpan please keep going the way they're going now that who knows what the fucka champ looks like in a million years i mean entirely possible that they could grow to be a new type of super intelligent primate wow yeah i mean it was us right if you believe evolution obviously i do but if you believe scientist
the most studied in the field believe that human beings in this form we've existed in this form for somewhere in the neighborhood of half a million years plus right i don't know if that's the right number but some i think it varies back and forth but who knows how many thousands years before that we looked exactly these mother fockers mean we've been around relatively recently i mean if you look at the the history of the human race versus the history of the world the world like four one slash two billion years old the humans haven't even been around a million years i don't think that's crazy four and a half thousand million years old for the earth humans less than a million so we're fuqing were recent recent people a recent thing that have figured out how to radically change our environment with tools so now these things
have figured out how to start using tools on a regular basis so this is what happened with us millions of years ago or whatever it was and this is happening with them and this is fairly recent we have now recovered buried stone tools from activity areas of the stone to of all the stone tool using primates who is going to be weird man i still can't understand how they can teach him sign language and talk to them crazy but but how did like crazy yeah you know humans have a very weird relationship with primates too it's we you know we expect them to be pet you know that's what this crazy lady in connecticut where a friend got her face ripped off that's what they thought like and the people the guy that got his balls ripped off his face ripped off in the chip stores feed off you remember that guy that guy had a pet chimp and
hm got too old and when they get older incredibly strong and super aggressive in that they don't understand the concord consequence to bite someone's finger off this is a sound bite your finger off whatever give me finger yeah and that's what a chimpanzee is mean there why to survive in the jungle insanely harsh environmental baby chimp look at that and that's a little baby end they're wired to survive in an incredibly harsh environment and that includes like fits of violence and and retribution violence there fucking ruthless man you know they they gang up on other chimps and they plot out war like they go after types of other champs and kill them and then like target them they somehow another figure out a way to communicate how to ambush other champs a lot of video on it too it's fucking ruthless man really harsh it to watch uh
i made a gorilla laugh one time how i was at this point i think it's called monkey kingdom in miami and then this depressed gorilla look this i had this um circus adam before and they took out his canines oh jesus 'cause they wanted they wanted to use them so they removed his kid wanting people yeah so they apparently canines in the gorilla kingdom are a sign of like how you can become like a we don't have canines then you're just shunned you'll never get a partner so they could never get this one car partner i forget to do dental implants i don't know the do the hockey players you have all hello they didn't it doesn't seem like they could do that get in some nice veneers says give me a operation while i'm under human teeth will add up to a little gas bomb is is a it's his the fox going on them up i like you with dogs he's really depressed ann
what is i think it's called monkey kingdom is what is the name of a place in miami the goal is really to she's just too depressed gorilla i bet i can make him laugh and then like you definitely are going to make a primate laugh i swear to you i swear this did not get included on my show i swear to god do an impression of a gorilla i just started want and then slamming my chest and then i went number one like this and he went home went i literally lost my mind i was like i did i can't believe made him laugh and i was like that travel tales i don't see why that's important to the show i just made a the river level at depressed one yeah how oh how far starting with that so you have no falcon idea i had a show i have a i have a clip this is the frustrating part is i we did the last season of birth conquer and i did the whole thing i of everything that we shot it was my thumbprint that we were
presidents and it was as i am very proud of that product and we showed it to them and that's not all brand and so they buried it but in the process i mean it's it you it was too rough it wasn't about like there no intro reads i wouldn't do like my name is bert and i'm outside cedar point the home of thrill rides in the middle of ohio like whatever it is did you do instead of would be like i would say stuff like new jersey is like a fat ass like uh like not every likes it but if you're into it you get it does that make sense and they were really fun reads and they were so irreverent that if you saw there's no you're not turning off the show you're like what the like right yeah so one of the i said the beginning i say hey listen can you just that we have in there it will definitely go viral can just tear them to promote the series and they're like no we've got this we know what we're doing and so they didn't do it so
one of them one of them was this thing pterodactyl it was a ride in colorado that's fucking amazing if you go to their web if you go to travel channel's facebook page and see how many views it's got i think it'll blow you away by the way they never aired when the show is about the air they aired it later on accident and it's the if you think the networks ever had ever in it being alive when the error by access by with the one girl aired it by accident didn't know they were trying to part ways with burt put it up and it's got swing yeah how many were used to learn forty two million yeah two hundred and forty two million views got one point three million shares two hundred and forty two million views yeah let me see that oh
oh my god i told him i said is insane i've never been seen something with two hundred and forty two million views i said hey we got some viral videos and they were like now we know better than you dude eight hundred and thirty four thousand likes that they know better than you fucking idiots and look at look at the fucking screen picture it's me falling off a cliff on it let me see this play it add a little thing to your thing well the a hundred miles an hour into the canyon on the terror dactyl how do you freefall has hasn't work here in this chair it strung out to a fault chrome
what i don't understand what's keeping you alive to string a cable strung across the canyon my and that is tied to a string in the middle this is why you see colorado i could do by the way there is one that is ten it's funnier than this they took me spook house and it is spook house please don't say it involves black people it's in it's in so i wonder if i i tried to post it online 'cause i used to let me post all the content and then once we parted once they as they were ready to part ways with me they were it is who is their idea of your idea they asked me what i want to do the president of the time out to get lunch said we so we want to do what i said to my therapist a second think i'd i don't ride roller coasters i'm done riding roller coasters something that is my idea i get all then if you want to do something we can do something but i don't want to
you are a host for higher i want to have a focusing on stand up my podcast i want to do stuff that means something to me this is like last year is last set full year ago full year ago roughly probably today um wow like yeah it was october it was before we had done the weight loss challenge i was the fattest i've ever been i had rapper to conquer there is about to start airing so yeah i think was october my special had narative my special there in november and she said what you want to do and i said i don't wanna ride roller coasters anymore and she's like ok and so then they fired burt yeah pretty much wow but my therapist like don't go in and just ask for a job say what you want and don't don't do anything other than that what did you say you wanted to do like what was the idea that you wanted to do a show but i'm i think i'm doing i'm going to be doing you gotta do it another show i'm going to do a show with my buddy tony the guy was telling you this running roseanne but it looks is a premise pretty high concept like yeah doing
in that and then i'm doing scripted which is what i wanted to do right but i had already shot this product and there was this one thing boo cows where it's like spoke out it's a haunted in our colorado what you what you know the place i'm talking about i have been put up for you in ohio but that's not from upper to conquer that's from birth conquer how old do i look at it from twenty sixteen gotta joe rogan shirt on if you i swear to god if you watch the full video of this it is the funniest thing you've ever seen german they just clipped it up and try to make it short and i was like don't air the fuqing the whole video 'cause it's me going but not the whole video about twenty five minutes like eight minutes but it's me doing like an our tour to the spook house and i am losing my shit why would they earn because but they bombed out at you at this point yeah you know you were leaving i think they just a little like their learning about different you look they don't like to wear my shirt no they can't why can't you just wear a black shirt off a cough cough travel
thank you thank you for wearing that that's awesome it's just me getting scared for you so much bigger and now he's very different human i know that's so crazy like do you see yourself there and go oh my god i'm unhealthy it makes me uncomfortable go to the very end i'm sweating profusely but like this is i get scared push my system on the oh well i don't even look like myself yeah your how many more pounds are you there for sixty two six thousand two hundred and fifty so you're forty plus pounds have yeah wow just drinking crazy it is amazing how you've done this you know january to today you've essentially change who you are you know you haven't i think i probably would've done it without all of us being apart like it's been fun yeah you know yeah i feel guilty that you guys went through all that i didn't do anything
that's one of the reasons why i was willing to pay for like that's where things get up like my intention to pay for your trip to the basketball game was a good intention but it put our in a weird place because i kind of stepped in for him then when chose to bin for our users welcher maybe if i do didn't do that you guys would have sorted it out quicker didn't to do that you know i mean when you said that you're like now don't worry already done it i've we've been friends along time this i had on my pocket when you said it it was very like you didn't sound like you were and feel like you're throwing under the bus at all i didn't feel like it but i think he felt like a little bit but i also think there's blood in the water and when this on the water those fuckin' online piranhas they just find a weakness i found a spot and if you show that weakness over giving out milk for a cat that's why you were telling him about the comments don't don't fucking respond to those comments you know don't don't do that
he did he look i love him to death he posted something shity real shity one time he knows it and it knows it knows it and if they don't know it they'll never know it i don't give a fuck but i watch the comments roll in after that and he didn't what are you posted and i yes it is realized he didn't realize there's a long story and i'm not getting into it i love ari and i don't want him to deal with it but like he didn't what you posted he thought it was posted something fun and he but it was like proof super serious and then do it these people role in the comments a man tom have said a number of times did write down names don't ever forget the guy's a really horrible human beings on here like don't ever forget there are fucking lunatics online like legit lunatics of course like when when
when you said you weren't going to smoke weed and we put the pray for joe thing out to this guy wrote to me goes don't ever forget you are nothing without joe rogan that is our medison we need this medison and if you're going to deprive us of our medison i was like are far cry who the fuck do you think you're like i would drive us of our medison people just killed his lot of broken hello there man and all who ever you are few that guy look man i didn't take my medicine for twelve days i'm good i mean but some people here's here's the thing right i used to do a joke about this that i did have a medical marijuana card before it was legal yeah it was a legal only medically but if you do didn't get a medical marijuana card went to a doctor and they said no you should go to a fuckin' hospital probably something really wrong with you because they were giving him away like candy like anybody could get a good medical marijuana card and someone said to me like well you are
throwing it in the face the people that actually need marijuana for like glaucoma or ptsd or whatever like we're doing is skirting the system i might yeah yeah so what i'm still getting we legally i'm not hurting anybody by getting we legally stupid like promoting the fact the weeds awesome and then also there's the thing with like it's fun for the calming you down and giving you a perspective in life i think we'd has made me and i think it's probably a lot of other factors as well i don't want to say it's all weed the weeds made me a nicer person because my get me more sensitive and i think that if is one thing that we could all use more in this like everybody gets carried away and everybody is a work in progress and people all say things that they probably shouldn't have or just acting were either impulsively or you know just go with the that's in your head and you say what's on your mind it doesn't come out right yeah we've all done that right
but marijuana for me highlights all those things and it almost ruthlessly introspective way that makes me a nicer person makes me think about especially when i'm in the tank man when i get in thank god i smoke weed i just think about it and very brief thing hole like a god damn seminar on isolated that i should do that staying the new studio i should do that tank new studio the tank i do before i quit before october's up for them want to try it sober and then one in november i want to try it high one time well it'll be installed in the third week of october yeah yeah the tanks come in soon so soon as it's welcome yourself no no it's a new one they took the one out of my house crashed by the folks if you're in california the float lab is the greatest no place in the world and this guy is like a lot of people credit me for making isolation tanks more
popular i'm very happy that that's the case but my think experience dramatically when i hooked up with crash because i a friend who was working on my tank and he was fixing it and i had an older tank it wasn't the best tank but it was good and i had a lot of great experiences in it but he told me about this guy in venice that and this place called the float lab and i said well what's the prince he's like his stuff is just like super engineered it's like the best stuff like you don't have any of the issues with like the bladder the bottom that hold though that you know the whole the water in breaking because he doesn't use water bed bladders and said he uses those things use for ponds like quite ponds like a very thick thick plastic everything has air pumped in it so you get fresh oxygen inside the tank he just like so he uses like two waterbed heaters and they work together simultaneously his
he has a really excellent digital calibration system for the temperature like he is it to the next level with everything he's got an ozone filtration system that kills all the bacteria kills everything he uses two gigantic jacuzzi filters that everything gets run through these like tiny micron i forget whether the number is filters where like they filter everything out of that water and for me it's only me in the water but be for public ones it's like critically important that you know you know that you're not gonna catch some weird skin disease or something when you get inside these tanks so this guy i get in touch with him got it bank from him he installed it in my basement and then you know i'm just i can't shut the fuc up about things i love and that's my problem is i'm repetitive as fuck but it's that's why thanks very good at things i get obsessive in that mindset is like constantly droning on about the same things constantly and sometimes that becomes a problem with podcasts but crash that guy
he's a mother fucker behind tanks if it wasn't for him the tank we have even knocked on non crash tanks non float lab tanks other tanks in the world they are that is the gold standard his tanks are the gold in all the other tanks since then have elevated in quality substantially because of his contribution when i first started using the tank which is like earth two thousands like two thousand i think i got one in two and three and i think i first time i got in one was like two thousand and two thousand one and i have one of my basement two thousand and three from that time to fucking hold business now they're everywhere giant and the scars on my place like no and i was like let's go now call the owner and this is i gotta say this to this owner in omaha
the guy we can't go drunk i think in it but yeah i want to do it bad well you will you do it i'll have you in like right after it's installed but so we get a new one put in 'cause it s a so crazy constantly like innovating these are constantly like even if it did to tanks perfectly normal that's the old one the old version we got to get rid of that we got to take it out we got a upgrade upgrade everything like he's uses knots with that wow now he's a mastermind he's like a like a real mad scientist genius character when it comes to tanks all that's all i think i i could yeah how to get a tank i love it i tried to get into tm tm transmitted meditation and transcendental meditation missed the fucking class well the thing about tanks is you could do all the meditation tanks but you have way more disconnection from your body and i think that's important it disconnects
your mind and your thoughts in your ideas from your physical frame like that's what people are trying to do when they meditate like you trying to sit down in a comfortable spot and just concentrating your thoughts and you absolutely can achieve amazing states of mind in that way but i feel like those states elevated substantially from the tank and everyone i know that disagrees is never done the tank people that have done that i go oh yeah people know that meditate and do thank as well go all my god this is a game changer it's it's just a completely different environment really the people the people that resist out of talk to a few people that meditate and like do you met and i'm like yes i do i'm meditating my tank and like wow that's not the same thing like listen you fucking hippie i don't know what you're talking about i've meditated regular too i just try have you tried it no i haven't this sort of a cup yeah shot of a got because it's a it's a it's complete now actually occuring psychedelic state so anybody who's sober anybody doesn't want to work with drugs i always tell them getting that god dam hank and you'll have a druggie
dance without any drugs or you don't have to worry about losing your mind you have to worry about addiction you have to worry bout overdosing or getting you know someone give you the wrong shed you can get in that bank and legitimately have a psychedelic experience yeah i got to try it but the big thing this is going to sound once again this is going to sound lot of realizations this month are going to sound very very childish and pedestrian one of my really hard things going to sleep like i didn't we call him an assisted sleeps in our house so we go to sleep without drugs or alcohol and i had seven this year total i pulled down fuckin' thirteen in a row and so now the idea of sleep doesn't panic me the way it used to like last time we podcast these young ladies and then i just just like i was like i'm going to bed now and i got in bed and i just close my eyes that's great the two year healthy like i was like i was like i'm going to bed now burt i'm proud of you i really am i really am
so what you've done is considering your lifestyle and how long you been doing it that way it's amazing and i know that you you it's the challenge of a competition that sort of like motivated you to do it not a lot of people have done it man lot of people would have quit by now a lot of people would have found some excuses or got some way like i it was my friends birthday how to do a shot with him you know like this is all sorts of real weird tricks that your mind a play on you to get you to quit you know in a bunch of different ways but i'm proud of you you've literally changed your health you turned your health around picking up very short period of time i appreciate thank you joe i got a lot of those people because a lot of people are doing it with us you know will noonan his quit smoking which is a big i can deal hard really big you quit smoking but fun to hear the guys who do did fall off that i tega i was with you football on saturday i'm sorry brother and you like you like yeah i know i know the feeling yeah i know what it is too but you just have to make a rule
you know and just try again you know it doesn't have to be sober october you can do it in november just but there's a beauty cool thing in having like a set schedule tomorrow begin so briody i have to do it i'm going to do it for thirty days and if you can do it people prayed for me and now i'm off of marijuana going right back though can't wait i kind of wish i think all of us kind of wish we were all together for the first night i know i'm kind of bummed out that you guys are going to be new orleans but will come back for another podcast will get super due to get on a plane and come over here and we'll have some fun together an by then he will already start smoking pot again so probably more happy ari oh yeah only at the new studio to yeah to that wall all three of us get together and and have you we should do i know if you are is going to do yoga after this challenge i think discount and it for us you know do you think you will i love to be called a chore
how to set my alarm clock to jordan a did you listen to his podcast when he's talking about it i did i'm a cock damn professional comedian i'm a jewish entertainer in new york city i like to drink and do drugs this mock anger is so awesome i was howling laughing driving is eager's house i got there i go have you been listening to his podcast he's like we only live once thirty five minutes ago at thirty five minutes a gold for me and you like i'm not sure if everyone is listening but me and you should listen i think it's meant for us he decided to go with it it's it's awesome he was the one that said no weed he was the one he personally goes personal have a problem i love you and if you're going to do no booze i'm going to take away the thing i care about that sweet and then he texted that to me tom and then i'm that video of me run thing and minute i was like no weed and i said
it seems like i don't know if joe knows about no weed yet and then you were like hey guys i'm not doing no weed and then always like oh i'll pull him into a corner and see if i can get him to do it it was it affected me at all the bullying i thought it was hilarious i thought it was too but i was willing to do it because i was like alright well two things i thought one the it doesn't look good if i'm telling you guys to quit the booze and then when it comes to wait i'm like no no there wasn't a part of the deal but i'm like i want people to know that it's not hard to quit weed it's really easy and yeah i know i'm only putting it for a month but i'm telling you it's fucking easy like it is really changed nothing about my life like i can do all the same things i think marijuana like anything can be abused but i also think it's a valuable tool and i think if it was long as you use it as a tool and i think one of the things this experience i think i'm going to use it more judiciously going to i'm going use it less i think
i'm going to be that way with alcohol i want to enjoy it i want it i want it to be part of the party as opposed to it be the thing yeah like i wanted to like except like like uh like i very accurate state it is going out to the patio in the store sometimes you do see something that just part of my night was like do my set go to the potty on the store yeah as opposed bur i was think bury uses boost properly he's like get done in settings like you want to have a whisky you go back to that back bar yeah whiskey with them and you talk about something for thirty minutes now overkill like all right i was i just made the drive home interesting i'm going yeah he's a discipline guy you know he's he's are an interesting guy in that regard he works really hard to very disciplined but it's also very smart in understanding the trappings you know worth things can go wrong yeah these are wise man his there's a lot love them out there man you know you just gotta find him and cultivated and we're very lucky very fucking lucky i will say me purse
i'm very lucky to have the group of friends i have because i got i look i remember you telling me a long time ago over a shot of whiskey you don't have to have shitte friends lot of people like you just being just let them be and but you out a few people in your life there were monsters i was not figuring out remember you were like yours are really good with the ice house you're really good guy and everyone's trying to be and just let it happen but i'm so protected well you had that one monster in your life and you know once you got rid of him your everything kind of went smoother and you also realize like oh like other comedians actually want you to succeed i'm not trying to hold you down they're not trying to push it on you and like literally remove parts of you there they want you to be happy they want to enhance and then also you realize that there's beauty in that community of like seeing will succeed in being happy for them and their happy for you and you happy for each other and everybody can get together and laugh yeah i mean
so it is called me the other night in the fights on and he goes dog fox let's watch a fight i want to see my dick muddy mouse i saw that the video of you guys all together and joeys high as fuck you know you got a contact high you probably broke the rules by hanging out with joey i definitely thought about that in two days it just seems like joins in time have you seen that video of him joey diaz like talking about like his state of the union address his talk making n korea glow in the dark find it i think i know make it it's on we're americans were in a green shirt it is yeah i was crying literally tears roll down my face when i was watching i think it's on the mat flavors world instagram account yeah i know you could find it seems like it's pretty show me what is only what you got says october missile it looks like yeah that's glasses off seafood
display this will go out with this bert kreischer i'm proud of you man that really am going we're going to leave you guys with the great and powerful joey diaz
get up cox suckers it's all over listen we had a rough couple of months walking katrina's cousin maria the other one puerto rico houston fuckin' florida listen it's been tough up to now the earthquake in mexico the white house level the funk is going on but it don't matter they want to shoot it's time clusterfunk is shoqbox suckers they want to get down and dirty don't forget who the fuck we are you understand me what about this mother fuckers out there you send a message to that fuckin' n korean he's going to be sniffing my dick and stuck in my asshole that's the focus on the north korean like a year is going to be an island is going to glow in the dark
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is the last podcast unless something goes wrong from the old studio next week next week we will move on to the new place we have to move everything and then the great and powerful greg fitzsimmons our first guest at the new spot oh so exciting and do yes i'm excited we're pumped we're going to have a lot of new content for you there going to do a lot of different things i like saying things like that new content sounds like i'm some executive tick head and some programming guy going to have some fun ship that we're going to do we're going to have cookouts we gotta grill at the new place we're going to definitely have fight companions and i think along with my companions were going to start doing companions for other ship going to watch like terrible movies two companions we're going to have workouts that we live stream you can work out with us that's b
really fun and also very easy all sorts of good stuff we might even do a podcast from the sauna 'cause i know already love the sauna this fits that's what they call it the jews they called a schmitz get that'll be good and yeah life live in the sauna maybe a new podcast we do what kind of quick and can handle one hundred forty degrees we need special equipment now jamie says no he's a fuckin' audio engineer biches will be okay alright folks that's for today thank you so much for tuning into the podcast and thank you everybody this is a and historical episode because it is the last one that our current place see you soon bye thank you love you guys
Transcript generated on 2019-11-16.