« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1126 - Erik Griffin

2018-06-04 | 🔗
Erik Griffin is a stand-up comedian, writer and actor. His new special "AmERIKan Warrior" premieres on June 8 on Showtime, and he can be also be seen in the Showtime show "I'm Dying Up Here."
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
yeehaw lady is german how's everybody doing got a lot how many days i'm doing soon on the road headed to vancouver august 24th tickets available for that tickles their of my face tickets are available for boise id june 30th and bunch other places we added an extra date to calgary logan dot com slash tour for all that good stuff but moving got a lot of stuff happening not moving but you know i'm saying i'm on the move this episode the podcast is brought to you by omaha steaks i've been eating the things they sent him to me folks and their yummy father it is just around the corner but you hate the hassle and poor quality at the grocery store what better way to kick off grilling season then bye
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on the showtime series dying up here he's been a workaholics and he has a show time special that is out this friday june eighth he's awesome i love them give it up for aircraft the joe rogan experience trying my day joe rogan podcast by night all day live herrick griffin so we were talking before this podcast how you mix it up with the android watch but the apple phone very curious yeah see i used to be all samsung i love the and droid in the watch is great i love how it interacts but then i get a girlfriend who has an iphone she's like i want to facetime with you so why don't you tell to get skype skype app you you understand that you can't anyway i got a set standards what hey i'm not the same dan lyons same similar right but then they have like a at they have this app on the app apple now call gear with that she
you hook up your phone but you can't really interact with it you can't like talk or anything but it's actually kind of nice you just want to know stuff going on probably yeah we're saying it's probably better that you can interact yeah because jamie was tell me that they you could do walkie talkie with your i phones now the other day that's still being announced right now so i don't know all the details but the worldwide developers conference is going on the wwdc so they're not new operating system the new apple watch the new although like automatic work on detection walkie talkie mode and something else because it's just too much i have apple watch too i love it you can leave it at make it sometimes only my phone on bring my phone with me you know because you're gonna do feel weird when you yeah rebel here's what's happening now though i can kind of family i watch like some right when when you look at your watch what is a q x use like you want to go where you're missing out no now when you do that it's just 'cause you're looking at a text message so now it's just as rude as yeah
is that you were not this isn't helping known site help and when i go if i look at you you were talking i go like this and look down you think a just it wasn't us yeah man i just got a text too much right yeah it's got a tweet i got a retweet looking at you know what are we doing what are we doing i have no idea and i don't really this weird about all the stuff phones and how we talked everybody wants to text like you can't people call you you can get people to now they put little emojis and then from the mode now there pudding like gifts of real people so this is how i feel we're going in a circle because we want human interaction we want connection we want to see people so now we're putting their put celebrity up but this is how i feel today why don't you put how you feel today right not chris pratt pratt right right right a garbage can yes this is my mood is so right we're we're slowly getting back to where it's going to be we're going to actually be talking to a real person thinks
yeah come all the way around i think it's going to come all the way around what is this jamie the new thing they showed its you making emoji of yourself called me mochi there to do that with sandra sam sung this is how the ribbon him off this is what we're working together or something this is what i'm saying there were searching trying to find ways to be more ourselves you don't need an emoji of yourself just be yourself that they're going against each other takes on samsung ar emoji yeah they ripped off the idea cheap funny animals all apples ripping people off not they were first with the iphone the iphone was the first of these kind of things the first iphone but androids are real close down they're real close i mean it's very debated everything after that they were late like like on android you could copy and paste on android three years before you could do it or apple so you vote
it's been an android yeah i've always been android guys get another android i know i'm going i know i'm a man you get an android you get it you get an android with skype it it will be me giving buying her name is there anything native to android like like the facetime thing there's something that's on the well they do they have like they had like their own version of that they have their own version of that but i don't think people really use it they have their own samsung video but samsung has one but what if you have say like a google pixel phone that they might have but i don't think enough people i have a google pixel phone to make that even a thing oh really yeah i thought those really popular are they who you know if they mean one person you know that has a google pixel could call me i have one you know you do not have a google please do have one but you use it you were given a google plus about one why want to try it out but here's what happen i couldn't get text messages to work this is the
damn because you are hooked up to this what do you show me james they do have it it's what the pixel two or something like that maybe it's and video calling simplifies enjoyed video calling oh yeah i'll get that so does that only work with android android to android's ideally i don't know why they don't just work together why doesn't apple google just work together well they don't work together with text message see this my point is like really annoying that i message thing is what fucked me because everybody knew that i had an iphone so they would send because they have an iphone they would send me an imessage and so well i was sending people text messages like i'm not getting it i'm like send me one and they would send me one and i wouldn't get it and so i went online and looked it up and it said you have to decide apple imessage ok so i disable imessage then you have to call up you have to actually call uh someone i'm done exactly at that point you have to call up some
and tell them to take your email address off of the i message database ok so i do that and i say take this email while you doing that so because i switched over to an android phone is like pause like i just fucking kill the queen come on like you have alarm go off i'm one of millions of fucking people out there you don't know anything about me why do you care why why would you give but they like they literally the guy on the phone felt bad that i was switching over so then it still wouldn't work i mean it didn't work for dell get like one out of three text messages and it all happened while i was on vacation i just figured i'm going to try this phone while i'm on vacation fuck around you can't they they got you roped in with that god damn that i shit yeah that's there
we'll stand three feet away to where you are in the world and all that yeah people have apple what i think sam songs taken over terms apply for android you know yeah i love the samsung phones they make good phones they make great phones the difference between in the androids though is that samsung does not update their software very often they update the update security patch his position on me too but google pixel phones the latest software right when it gets released and so like when oreo comes out and eight dot one all these different operate systems come out there better supposedly yeah for for how long a week i mean i know it takes a long time before they come out on on samsung phones long time like six months sometimes yeah it takes a long time well there you go you heard it break breaking news right here maybe that's what the problem was but it also samsung puts their own shit over android real android dork swamp pure android and pure
are you really only get with the pixel and less you can are you do you know about how do you do you like can you hack them you can hack them right we could be like look like how you used what do they call the jailbreak your iphone on that kind of stuff they've made that just common now yeah used to be they would like deep down we're like let's say you had verizon so only use this phone on verizon ride with verizon stuff and then you would jail break it then you get like open it up to like all these other types of apps if they would stop being greedy freaks just stop being so greedy let use my phone however i want to be on your system i'm still paying your two hundred dollars a month for you stupid phone a service and do a little a little extra little x a little extra little extra don't get me start i'm getting you started mother fucker and i can't believe this shit we have to deal with eric ground goddamnit
weird though man it's like it's weird there's only two that's also weird there's unlike two operating systems that speeding side to side but that's how we are in our country we can only repay lookin are democrat apple or remember windows phone windows phone wasn't bad i wasn't that bad i had a friend with a windows phone is like oh this is kind of cool to add tiles it was like wind ten you know how windows ten looks with tiles that's like a came and went nobody cares about that and went look at you just i can't do i don't want to hear what everybody's trying to get into the phone game right crazy is how many we have windows computers it's amazing and the windows had a phone and people like now yeah well 'cause they know how the problems they had with their with their computer i stopped i can't remember the last time i had a windows computer i've strictly
nap because it's just so easy to use and it's still not easy to use you know what's not easy though apple does not have good keyboards like if you of a desktop keyboard at home and you can add a second keyboard you know like by a mechanic keyboard right if you are a writer if you like to write the problem with app keyboards is there's no key travel it's very very shallow so it's like just a tiny movement click click click click click what are uses i use a thinkpad and then one of the reasons why i use the thinkpad is there's like travel to is kia like this these keys have motion to them like if you just like your old school yeah well the thing is you feel where the keys are you feel like so as you typing i can just look the screen and i don't have to look down at the keyboard and they've depressed with your fingers like you have there's motion to it so there's no accidental pro
singer the keys did you take typing in high school yes i don't remember any of it though yeah me too i might have my high school year was the last year that they had typing at my school really i remember last year they they just they were say like this is the longer because they they had a computer class that they were starting i just thought to him like i look back on this things and i just go awhile how times have changed our generation is this like generation that is like we went through the first of all of these things i had a commodore sixty four did you yes i remember the first apple laptop i remember i remember like when game systems changed and cull t v and call waiting and like all the things that we were you know their answering machine answering machines are they not then no more answering machines and can even financier machines nine seven six numbers and you know like all all that
stuff was life sex lines yeah yeah you could call like i got in trouble one time like thank god i was calling a christmas i was going to call the christmas one first and then i was going to call the sex one and then i called christmas one person in my mom picks up the other one and i hang up and then my mom's like are you talking to santa claus oh shit how old would van thirteen isn't like that you know they just you into your soul even how we find porn is different now like yeah now you know it is so like why i'm like i'm thinking about you look talk about just keyboard is still have a little bit old school to it has school feel to what you're saying you know you you have anytime somebody's using windows i know it's like oh they're connected to the past still well i just switched over to a
recently when i fucked around with a thinkpad one day and i was like wow this keyboard is so much better 'cause i have a mac book two one of them new macbook pros you just you just can't handle you stacked not good it's not a good keyboard this shit it's not just bad it's shit it's shit there's no options like if you want a laptop did they don't give you options to for keyboard you can customize the now and you can get a different one like if you want windows you can get in a seuss you a little follow you can get human is a shit ton there's going to deadwood you desktop so i have an imac you can you can hook up sure yeah with a desktop but the problem is most of my shit i go in the oh third class action lawsuit over macbook pro keyboard alleges flop frog joint concealment gas in research king right here see but look at that keyboard look how fucking shallow those keys are that's bullshit wants to keep it fair
man but it doesn't matter that's bad for a writer if your writer that's a shitty design from how fictive yeah but make it a little thicker jesus christ who gives a fuck if it's a extra half a millimeter if it you have good keyboard feel i mean it depends on what you're doing if you're the type of person just write an email every now and then but i fucking right i need a keyboard will you need it so i assume that could take a beating too yeah i still fuck around with that when i still have it so i fuck around with that if i if i travel if i go online if i'm just just web surfing it's fine for the but it sucks a fat one when it deals with did you get a text message i'm already getting like you know messages about this anime is coming to the phone for phones going to only time i has blown up like this before is when a justin bieber posted a picture with him on the head thank you yeah one on his
the instagram and in my phone was shaking shaking for for for a month straight like i'm not gonna lie i can turn on the note about so you guys know what i believe in the turner notifications and i put it down like this is just i got talking about i guess thousands a notification that i could topple the government if you really wanted to like if we got political that's a problem i mean that's what we deal with which trump a famous person who becomes a president i mean this little kid is only twenty four right what the out is even it's easy to twenty four yeah just a twenty four year okay yeah james hate jamie take no it's not thank you good kid now he really is well if i give you one if i gave you a hundred million dollars and no parental supervision you do some dumb to do way worse yeah i would i i would listen right now i would do a lot of dumb if you gave me a hundred million dollar just out of no where i don't know where yeah he's done well for for this what he is
you know that kind of fame that that god possesses he's off the charts famous yeah but then so was so strong trumpless super famous super su famous yes this is why we can't get rid of the electoral college till about a way not to get political but it does help to hear it that but you can't break it but play the game well i just can't have a popularity contest but it is a popularity test number one even with the electoral college you just have to be popular in iowa where in ohio and know how to do that and just go over there and talk about muslims shake your fist wide we don't understand why we don't just have online voting or like or like or with their phone if you have to have a phone and then you register your phone so that i am ie number that your phone has is strictly for you they already have what do you call it like facial recognition software
phones have fingerprint so there's like three different ways to like register and then we'll get everyone's vote i will say vote should be like the columbia dvd member columbia dvd so they just they would just give it to you for a so use your your so if you're republican right yeah then your vocals to repel logan until you go i don't want this from i wonder what the numbers of people that people don't know we're talking about with columbia dvd 'cause we're old but back in the day you would sign up for like cassette tape yes and they would send you a bunch of cassettes like you'd pick like going to club yeah that too but they would send him to you it was only like a dollar and you would get like fifteen sets can you get like aerosmith and was still they still got it still on spotify look at no but check it out they finally made it so they or just send it automatically 'cause people work people were quitting the service yeah but they would send you so you would pay and you had like say three days and if you if you didn't send it back they would charge
due to nine dollars right so that's what i'm saying about voting this is how we should vote thirty five doll like that page right there he's showing us should be like all your candidates for democrat and if you don't you have three days to pick if you don't pick your vocals to them that's how you do it show me we just show me what you doing would you show like on the details what is a site says thirty five dollars for like two some like that ok free shipping is only eligible for orders of two more dvd's of the sub total of thirty five dollars pre orders are not eligible for free shipping right so they say that's free shipping but it's not free shipping is that what they're doing and they ok it's not yeah five each but free shipping us more than thirty five dollars free shipping on two plus dvd's but the dvd's are nine hundred and ninety five so two plus is four because it has to be in thirty five dollars you fucking crooks they're all crooks
the record companies are so gross i've been talking to people i had steven tyler and he was explaining what happens now with streaming server was great by the way thank you he's great right translate fascinating fascinating mean you want to talk about a guy was singing it all i'm never surprised when someone like that with that type of personality i'm not surprised see the kind of life and career he's had yeah those people aren't they're not there it out as a notch above the norm yeah he's definitely a notch above the noise super sweet guy too nice to everybody just all hug everybody in recording his time of being like yeah i'm sure it was a time in this life there's a super dick you think so come on to some kind of hang their famous you don't get that famous at time when people are treating you like just a god you know everywhere he went i mean the rockstar i bet
the pinnacle rock star right a list so a list actor professional athlete that that's the order but do you think they have to be dicks no no no you think they become dixie just because here's my theory about that is that the fame that level of fame is overwhelming people grab but actually all the time so you just develop this dickey thing just to keep people the fuck away from you like if you get to that i would imagine like that michael jordan or even bieber mean there's a level where you can't go anywhere this and i've been i've been around bieber yeah what's it like it's not a he's never alone got somebody there right i think he trusts anyone and that level of flight fame were you're just also used to you know give me a water are get the car right i to hear when you get used to that becomes normal just telling people just telling people what to do becomes normal this is good i was at a i was at a party and he was he was there and he's he's like play
in this music for his new album and each it's a mini says hey can you give me a can you give me a vodka he says give me a vodka thing and then i went i was like oh ok like i was so mad at myself because i'm over here like i gotta get back to your blocker i got away i gotta get this done for jail time yeah and then when i gave it to him i thought i should have said no yeah i should say bitch get your fucking one hundred and forty some years old there was a fucking moron playing piano same thing i was at the laugh factory and he was there who's your buddy my scooter braun you know scooter comes down and he says hell yeah erica justin would like to see you and i first i was like
your comment a walk you know somebody may but of course i was like alright let's go i went in their life and then i saw him too and i was like i realize like that because i'm i'm a nerd this way i mean i like i'm a fan of all types of music so i'm i think the kids dynamic i think very tell don't think it's a surprise that he's a famous writer i mean people get on him just by the way in defensive bieber real fast you can tell somebody they're great since there eight years old right you can't do it eight years old you're great your great enemies nine your great when you're great what is eleven your great but that then that thirteen is probably when he first went well am i yeah and then fifteen like i'm not great i am great at eighteen i'm fucking great now and then when when he finally says it then that's when everybody goes whoa bro
turn it down it's too late the master's already been let loose lies already mature right he's already become a an actual adult an he probably has no come left in his body at any given time is just a certain load all day long it's just recovery time for him he's got if heat we did i need some pussy tonight it would be like american idol auditions i would be crazy and that'd be the if you seen that a guatemalan volcano eruption have you seen that we're running from the smog it's crazy only girls guys it would you would you would you know like that much coming down the mountain headed towards you it's it's that guatemala russians scary man there's nothing like that in the comedy other than chris d'elia yeah he's close he's close but even that look at its quantum allah most violent eruption in more than one hundred years twenty five people already dead and just
it just happened yesterday it's a fucking crazy man some people have died after erupted yes on the earth is getting back out of do that's two hawaii and this one be real fucking careful surprise new zealand hasn't had a couple of raw do they have like a live volcano in new zealand i just know that i think can you fact check this but i think new zealand has the most volcanoes in the world but really i was just there you go one of those stores and they're like you know what you do over there well i wanted to cook islands captain look around the cook islands manage pirates showed up beautiful vacation and there's no americans which is what i love you going someplace and all american i don't go to in sonata we must not go has given this beach you know right right i don't wanna be around a lot of sense o'malley is yeah yeah yeah i'm like going to while you're basically beverly hills respect yeah devil hills down water yeah volcano
map of new zealand jesus christ fucking pot wanted three million four hundred and fifty six thousand seven hundred and eighty nine ten eleven twelve one thousand three hundred and fourteen fifteen one thousand six hundred and seventeen eight teen volcanoes that right like you can't lie on this show 'cause this guys going to fact check you right away yeah well this is not that is insane but i'm telling you right now beautiful vacation oh i bet i didn't like actually like new zealand like i went to oakland i thought i'm driving around downtown la like seattle or something i don't like the city about a city guy i like this kind of shit like outdoors nature beaches yeah well the nature there are stunning i want look at my hotel window and the sliding door and like there sand and then like the waters like right there or mountains yeah exam something rainforest something something something that's different from this urban uncle that we live in all the time you've been in costa rica i have been god just wanted
regal my girlfriend we just started to get together and it was it was good as they are to get together yeah we were close to wreak yeah well i mean we're we're i mean it was it was it was too soon along as they used to it was too soon i thought maybe we like for five months you know but it was i chris this time and i'm with her i would let me make this special so we go to costa rica you know i do it up and she went christmas with you and not the fan yeah well she's jewish so they're all monsters how dare you gotta be careful with that kind of time this day and age people are various careers over just girlfriend jewish is beautiful family so she was like i don't care about christmas anyway so let's go but i don't go see my mom who moved to my parents just moved to malaga where is that in spain like to the southern tip of spain in okay they went on a cruise one day stop in malaga and then my mom's like we got to come back here cost of living is so low i do live in
i kings over there like a great two bedroom condo with like malibu type view six hundred euro a month what yeah dude it's telling you right now you gotta look up the cost of living in spain it's created a lot of people from britain they retire in spain because our money goes a lot further oh i've heard that i've heard that people go there to avoid taxes from france yeah it's a lot of stuff so i take so we go to costa rica and it was fine it was great it was one of these risks works where like you could get room service twenty four hours order what you want all covered in the thing but i got sick joe oh no and i knew it was i arena sector will kind of sick it was every hole in my body something was coming out of it okay and then i was on a call i was in bed i've told us i don't feel good and i made is a comic q i made a joke at her that she didn't appreciate she was mad at me about this joke so i'm also telling her like look i'm i'm still not feeling well and then it happened i'd get up and i have tried to vomit
and then there was nothing like vomit in my hands i will run to the bathroom and then it's just like it's coming out of both holes like just and this is going on for all night i'm dead the way she was acting all my god shell shack is it ruining the trailer wow so at the time i was like oh well we weren't as close as we are now we've since resolved the issue but at the time i was like i can't be with somebody that's not going service while i was sick bro wow she was already writing it off well i'm going to go ahead and get a fucking cheeseburger and then that was making me more sick the food smell so i'm outside but then she like i was mad at you for your jokes and like i always i always tell her she goes she give me one day you know my brothers they used to tease me all the time when i was growing up that i said then why'd you get
the comic going on if you know how we say we get with her mother you know we are you know number the qualities are so think whatever whatever you're close to in your life so she's accustomed to people in a hard time your heart i'll she didn't like it she went so i'm i'm we're trying to balance it out you know this could be compromised you gotta meet where near here you gotta go games ever is when you just dating someone and you go on a vacation with them and it goes sour and you stuck with them for like five days and some and they usually happens by the way on the plane ride over something that happens on the plane where you're like oh i don't like you and we're going to be on this plane for six more hours and then you know you're going to get to this hotel i mean that's why you have to be compatible with somebody before you travel make sure we compatible oh yeah you have to make sure things even things like like i want to go out and do things
going for outdoorsy person and you want to like leave the hotel or maybe you're not maybe your person that like most to take advantage of everything in the hotel or you're on vacation and you want to chill that has to be a stab or you're going to be in a situation where you're like what do you still doing in hotel or the other person is like i don't want to where are we going out i like margarita in front of each project sort of jank margaritas and then fall asleep and here the way we survive though we survived it you know we made you change your phone though i know that was the common soon as its overthrow soon as it's over right back to say aren't you going to answer yeah i don't know i don't know if it's going to be over we're coming up on a year shit yeah we're coming up on a year but i hear people you know what it is you people like you it's your fucking fault you can work your on stage talking about your great family and just i want to and how you deal with it yeah you think about these things man how old you know i'm forty six so you thinking about shoe
in live ones in there and make him think about like you know what maybe it's time you know what it is like i'm not super successful but i've enjoyed my career and now i'm oh i enjoy this i want to share this with someone that really cares about me and one thing safer chichi she she i feel the love you know it's awesome we do feel alone she's very loving woman a very beautiful and so she got used to after awhile and understands you joking this and write pre she ate you knows your good guy i tell you with something that she did this is why we have been talking about her right now something that she moved me joe the other day we were having a little fight fight and then it was uh you see i was like we're not communicating i told her you know what she did she downloaded communicating with your man audio book and we sat and listened to it together and it was like that's why i quit amount
but i can check this i know but you could change my phone number through my phone and there was like it was like it was like the guy that wrote the book was talking about her that was the best part about it he was like it would be like something like you know you know what you shouldn't with your man is don't have a a look on your face of discussed when you when you're mad it was like all these things and they and then there was one more warm going like this i have my hands in the air and it was like if you may body language if he has that's your time to back off and i was like did you date this guy 'cause he's talking about you right now but i thought the gesture of being like hey i need to improve i need to like change how i feel or are like you know maybe look at a self self reflect that the act active that self reflection with her that was that's volumes speak volumes for her care
after that it really made me go ok you really want to you want to make this work and that's awesome yeah i said ok i want to make it work how old is she twenty nine ok yeah so she's at that age action out of said that i'm not as good a so much trouble why not suppose tell i'm not supposed to tell her that she she wants your heart well the cats out the bag now so fucking right let's say your name so you just go to my instagram you going to six oh my god so i'll just as lady yes i know i know but that's the problem you know me but nobody sees no because she she will doesn't want people to know right so she was she wants people to notes think she's twenty three so i so i said hey that makes me look like a creeper creeper even the even this age difference is a little iffy right so it's weird how we just make rule as to how old someone can be to be with someone else but it changes at for awhile right like once you get like the dude is
is like ninety and the woman's fifty we don't go far go fuck whatever i would say to me it's like this gotta be thirty like you know like she's at the cusp of it i think that nothing was the woman gets to like two thousand eight hundred and twenty nine thirty in that age range then this other part it does in matter depending on what they got going on in their life but it's not about the age just about experience level it's about where are you in your life so the one thing i struggle with is that like but i'm knee deep in my career but i remember when i was thirty i wasn't doing this i was right i just started you're hustling i was hustling at so i go i have to remember that to discuss her hustle years so you started doing stand up thirty day at that i circle yes that's our late start right i started i will into a comedy class when i was in my early 20s 'cause my mom is one of those supportive women i said hey mama i think i want to be a comedian next day i'm signed up at the at ucla extension you know
with a notebook in my shoes like you're really yes on my mom if i said i want to raise if i said i want to be a rock climber my mom was like okay let's go she would about ropes and like hook me up with that because you want to be out of the house you want to be like when i was young you know so i went to the class taught by sandy shore oh jesus yeah i thought i thought this is going to be herman seashore daughter her mom owns the comedy store i'm going to make it you know that was the advice this mother fucker right here boy joe rogan how good was the light was it from us i misspoke educating this this has i really i i i i i need it as i said listen to anyone if you want to be comic one comedy class just for the comfort of environment in the support go to one comedy class but after that you gotta get out there to open mic so you gotta do it on your own but i said
just one comedy class is something wrong with another wrong with it so i went and i love that and then by the way the uh showcase for the graduation was at the comedy store in there or so the first time i ever did stand up comedy was in the or to comedy store you know where was it it was like ninety something then i was like two hundred and ninety three and you know what i remember specifically it was like after our show they just rolled into the or show first round stage carlos mencia wow he goes on and at the time he was like in uh all bad you know you say that's not right the time he was like you know who that is welcome to larry and i remember watching him and i'm at the time at the time i remember watching him thinking i think i can do this you know because that might have a great set the great first set you know you know how that goes is supportive only crowd and i'm you know i have my my funny hacky jokes that i was
one at a time just my new what i thought was new i remember one of my jokes was like i was like how come you can't recognize superman and then i would take my glasses off you know like i'll like look i'm clark it take him off superman you know that was like i thought that was hilarious at the time pretty tells another one of my jokes that's a good one yes i had like a you know had black categories on jeopardy already you know blind singers barbecue holidays you know i have i was killing back down with the ship so i saw it brutal though when you go to a real show yeah with that and and crickets but an open mike night it's we're really does open mike night material where does all ok an open mic nights and you like this some good material i just go to develop it i don't even think it's even open mike i think even worse is doing it in front of a crowd you know this is what happens to get the begin side try but i love it you know when you and you go into middle america when you first were coming up and you are still a major headliner and then like the local guy will be there right that local guys now going to joe rogan show
in iowa and he's going to be before bring in front of two or three hundred people that type of hacking cereal is going to kill with those people then then that person now thinks that this is how you do it and they bring back to la in new york and then there like how come this is in work and then they're seeing like one thousand other comics doing you know talking about the same subject and then they don't realize how they had to find some originality and what they're doing and that's the hard part that's the hard part there is not a lot of subjects to talk about you know you're not the first i'm going to get married and have daughters but this experience that you had is personal to you and convey i think that is the hard part right you know people kind of go just surface with their material is hard to delve deeper it's hard to have the confidence to drag a subject out to like when you first start out like you premises are so short and then you
from one short premise to another short premise and it becomes it becomes a bit becomes a you know a set and then i you're talking about often talk comics like that it's like music you know if you heard a if you heard like a net tunes beat you could hear it from a mile away you could know when you hear it you go oh i bet you neptunes produced that track or you know the dj premier he would produce a beat and you know that's a premier beat your comic your comedy is the same way when you're working on things you work on it in your way that if you looked at volume material you might now see the common thread and that's how put together an act right three minutes forty minutes that's how you're able to talk about a subject for so long because we've now woven together these thoughts that we don't think are connected but when we look at him you go oh which i'm actually this subject actually flows into this
connects very nicely so what was going on so i'm watching again i'm watching mencia at the time i'm just young kid i don't know what to do next i just had great set i thought and now i'm looking at professionals and assignments eaten at that particular time i was like i saw him and when he talked about taco bell and stuff i thought you know i think i could do this you know and then he brought up chris tucker tucker went on stage and i was thought to myself i don't think i could do this just the way he was so like what is voice man you know just distant chris tucker was on fire back then yeah just on his whole persona and i thought i don't know and i didn't know what to do so i fly it around i did open model you get nervous when you sir chris tell yes i do so powerful it was just so it was something special about what he was doing and i he thought i don't know if i don't i just was i did have it at that time and i was so just nervous and scared and arrogant
because i was a funny guy so then i would go open mikes and then the same people doing the same shit over and over and over again there wouldn't go to another but my four other four weeks and then i see the same people and i thought well how do you get from here how do you get on the you know just and no one and i didn't know there's no mentors frank does not people go let me help you with this you know you even talk to someone like of your stature at all like you know at the time you could just be some over marker and by the way they do that you know i mean i only the comedy store in some dude comes up to you you just kind of like what do you want to talk to me about right now dude you just kyle is approach i think especially when they work door guys i feel like everybody just a comic that's different that's but like there's a sort of but even still like it's like i don't know if it's such so appropriate for a door guy to come up to you and be like yo can i open for you at irvine you know i know some guy just did that the other day
bitch i don't know you i don't know you know i have friends by the way at me i used to do that i used to that my brother john you know johnny sanches your first was coming up i would john john even open for you i'm a juggernaut is that what you said i told him i was the gel i said i'm trying to bury these headliners mandela what i was trying to that's i thought she told them yeah that's what you thought you were you supposed to do also check his watch look at the time yeah so you'd be he's tease me ever since it's one two fifteen years later he still teasing me about it but you know so i decided no i don't know what i was doing you know right i don't know how to what do you what do supposed to mean now there's no clear path it's not just being a doctor there's no right or wrong way either you know i didn't know that's true too grew up in a way i was born and raised in la so i'm in la trying to get on a stage where i go to the i was telling you earlier i saw you at the laugh factory with her you know like a
man you onstage like i'm not like you were just given it there's a certain energy you had about what you were talking about that i was like damn what happened to this guy i remember the first time i was like mass some woman hurt him that's hilarious for some some something happened and i thought i don't know if i have tapped into that yet i thought at the time i don't know if i've tapped into that so it's uh long time for me to realize i know this is what i want to do in life right everybody is different you know like some people go up there and they're excited and angry bird shit and some people go up there and there mellow and that's the funny part so that i wish i knew what it slow there's no low punch lines you know but even if you like sigur a perfect is x just can tell a story have you captivated yeah there's no anger yeah there's no like screaming emotions cigarettes just chill out but don't you find yourself you
ever gone have gone up a bit because you have a way of performing like you know you have a you know as joe mode you know you're on there is going to be powerful and you're you're like really and then have you ever just gone on an kind of like not done it that way but then now you get laugh at a completely different point and you're set with new mateer for sure could you try to find you trying to find the b i sent material up to fail sometimes i go into a bit slower and i'll go into a bit more casual and try to ramp it up rather than like try to make it like sometimes when you get a new bit especially when you first start like this big is shaky let me just get it out of the gate with a lot of momentum so that i can kind of coast with it but sometimes i'll say alright with this bit might be all just bullshit or what tom calls tom zagora kalsom dance moves yeah icicle english and english on the cue ball because sometimes you just
you do understand exactly what you're saying you're doing that thing that you do that no makes people laugh yeah it's really difficult and it's really difficult for me because i'm just a funny looking guy you know you know i'm not a looker you know i mean i'm cute you know saying handsome fella don't handsome guy the mustache works with you know my qualities right but i know that like that i could do a thing that are they laughing at what i'm talking about like are they run with me emotionally or the with meat intellectually or they just going my god this guy's funny right and this fall it's hard to recognize that yeah right like what do you want from them yeah do you want to connect with them do you want them to laugh do you want bowls do you do you want them to appreciate you they just you just want to have a good time for to even want them to laugh at how you are connected to what you're talking about mom because that's different to
you know like if your political comic people might laugh that like how passionate you are about being a libertarian or how passionate you are about you know being a thief maybe they don't agree with you or maybe they do agree with you but they just they they're laughing at how you are can did to what you're saying and i think that that's another element that's and that's a whole other thing you know i look at all friends that you know we are we have a lot of peers all our friends that we just go i like that they all have something different yeah in that way yeah you know in the simi it's an amazing thing to watch it's a crazy art form so we can tell you how to do it like any other art form yeah it really you know like if you went into music or i wanted music like we could like you could be in a rock band or you could be in a blues band or you get a lot of country music and everybody would be clearly defined but you just do stand up yeah it's just stand up
i mean there's no there's no categories you know what's funny about that those i know that there's no categories but i do think that it is similar to music in that we're not going to change the rules of communication and i think that's where we will get in the way so like when on a piano you're not going to make new chords it's still going to be g you know what i mean and certain chords when they go together are not going to sound good no matter what you're not going to invent the wheel so i think baseline of comedy is like just being able to communicate your points and i think one you are person that can communicate your points and their solid and clear then on top of that there's going to what the entertainment is going to be but you still like you know when somebody says they tell the story and nobody says anything and they go well you know you had to be there well that's a horrible story teller that's that's what that is you'll never hear joey diaz say that never yeah
be there sucker like that would be like well i don't know if i want to be there bro you know yeah you had to be there means you failed and communicating so i think we don't need that level even though all comics are different in that level of like wrong with so when you say set up that is important where is universal to all of us you have to set this up yeah this is the case with all songs and everything too but their styles is there certain styles of comedy i guess there styles of comedy but they're very so much there's no distinct style if you heard like put an example hank williams junior like well that's clearly country you just here you know right away here brand yeah yeah there's some twangy about this country yeah it's about the story i love come
she would a good story driving down hwy you know whatever you have to do is here like a couple of words yeah yeah yeah i know what the fuck this is this guy just doesn't even have to have like music behind it you know what you said your comedy at the time it was the country music of comedy i think you misrepresenting however it was a story you know you felt that the anguish i don't think that's what i was doing at the time are you trying to look back we're the hair with a different guy yeah you know you weren't this you're you're a solid muscle now but i don't know if you have what your body fat count right now i don't get it checked okay that's a that's probably better probably better to think that it's better than it probably is i think if you went that you might be disappointed the last time i checked it was ten percent off not guys not very low i'm probably like thirty percent thirty five percent body fat that's crazy yeah that's something that's not good
you know what it is i i might but my blood pressure is good that's good yeah 'cause i i i i told me your box and i'm trying to blacksmith are working on which is i'm going to the boxing thing and it's like i got a glove works club works in century city shit in your box yeah it's pads and our guys hold the thing and there's something that tricks you with that though because they'd hit i hit back so after i've done that a few times someone can run a public like fucker i wish somebody's unique testy i wish somebody would test me like they're going to hold up their hands and fight me like this but in about going to boxing is changed my perception of women women in the boxing thing like they really when you see a you know i'm working out with five people in the woman goes in any guys that come on no and she's like just like god damn this is she's good this is great
i think you can handle yourself all my preconceived notions of like and it's something stupid stupid mail thing is to see a woman fighting and then our first thought is oh yeah somebody hurt her you know you got a lot of that in you that with me i had people everybody is one eight okay but if we just this is like therapy is coming out maybe i was hurt maybe you need a cassette maybe i need healing himself upsets i do i do i'm working on it man just did your oldest fuck this far is kids that there going what is that they don't even know what i don't know what a cd is exact laserdisc you little fucks won't yeah what is this the box been cool i like it's fun workout angry women are weird though it is weird somebody sent me a picture of this mma check and choose this woman who is down and she's i don't know who the lady is i have i'm not familiar with their shoes and fight ufc but she's got
blood on her and she's going like this as she standing up over this chick actually is issues like this like damn that an angry and i can't do those kind i catholic meal you have see i don't leave i just too violent for me i just get i have yet been live you know you want to go i would go and i was watching the other day now because i heard your voice just one in la in august i want to i want to go so good seats it just seems so like by the way i find it like i i don't i like watching women hit each other you know i just don't like it maybe that's my mail thing you know but i think that like how can we be in a society were talking about no violence against women what alexis pay per view well no no violence to since women by men's ok jean this is violence against women were competition do you think that that woman have rhonda rowsey amanda nunez do you think that i fight better than her now she'll fuck you
she will fuck me uh that's amanda nunan ok but if i hit want to browse the in the face right good to her and i go out on a date we have will be something happens you have a scuffle and it's on video that punch ronda rousey to i'm now a pariah in society for the rest of my life but this this woman who trains and is like a beast beat her up i just i can't get the disconnect i can't there's not a disconnect it's competition support so i don't understand what you're missing the connection such a big deal between i guess eric griffin first of all with
announced you don't know how many what brown he's a killer okay well maybe they haven't i was proud they had a tough match ufc fight so they have a tough patch that we're going out to get the job done and also don't read it some strange and i what she would just copy laugh i'm tired of being with a killer you know she wants you want if you want somebody cuddly soft mice office squishy and win the lottery i don't know you wanna punch inner yeah can you does that ever happen i don't know maybe have you ever punch anyone your life a girl no that's not what i was in the sixth grade i think i had a fight one time and that's the first time i learned you know suppose hit a girl she was a bully right she was a bully issues pushing people active if you did something to me and i punched her in the no matter what she did the whole yard went you know like you don't hit a girl
and i was like oh but not remember everybody hated her like a second ago then all of a sudden so i knew it that one outside all you can't do that i know there's some kind of difference i learned it then yeah it's a good way to learn it before it gets ugly before i guess ugh yeah 'cause i was still a little kid yeah it was like it was probably younger than that breaking his jaw right right right right right right and you know what pissed me off too she i would never forget this is so vivid in my head that she me immediately went from bully strong like run this too fuck me and i was like a little bitch i'll say what just happened if we want to look her up yeah i know just what the fuck she no her disaster of a life it was condoleezza rice actually not kidding but if it was somebody like that it would be crazy she's angry at you for punching are all this time starting wars assyrian shit but i'm saying it could happen i'm with roblox go back to the diff
between getting you punch and ron is that would be the last punch you ever through lip you on your head on the concrete smashing had opened stomp you into a mud puddle all this on video all they would say is fair griffin hits what or he had come in yeah right right right good for her to mastic abuse long strong woman i don't know i just i don't want free stream that in rock will run as a professional mixed martial arts champion choose a champion and one of the greatest female champions of all time i didn't like seeing her face look like she shouldn't have fought that woman i just i didn't like to sing and i got a bit of what i'm saying it was i couldn't i didn't feel any
that i didn't feel any of the the competition if you train right now what i saw is a bruised and battered woman that's what i saw well and have money my problem is you must be talking about the holly home fight because that's when the when she was dj about it that's when she got head kick june bloody interfere was announced it was on the man who has pfizer just forty eight seconds of not goals in the face that was a quick fight she just got the beat out of right now fight but somebody this anymore but the there's lessons in that seat you can fight in mma and there's there's danger in this consequences but if you're in shape and you're prepared correctly you can fight but there's a a lot of women that weren't prepared correctly and rana fuck them up that's just how it goes though the lockerbie also like sometimes you're the hammer sometimes you're the nail one thing we also have pumped her up like it was a a money marketing it was great marketing
two she only there was a little that means if we i mean i pumped her up the water but it was me doing a lot of but it was based on what she'd been able to accomplish it wasn't based on bullshit it was based on for actual performance inside the octagon against people like cats and gone so against people like sara mcmann which which he had done was supremely impressive but you put but we love a champion we love undefeated would love being there best ever we get behind that right and that's it was behind her going into that fight right and it didn't look like that that what they should have been behind her going into the fight maybe the holly home fight calling him for even the whole the whole fight she was under massive amounts of distractions she was under she was there and they were going to roadhouse remember they're going to roadhouse movie she's having meetings agents and and they just thought she could fuck up any bud on the plan that's what i would say that problem is
in less you are one hundred percent all in with your training and you're learning in your development you're making sure that you've got the right training partners in the right coaching and the right staff and nutrition and all these different things if you do if you have any any part of that missing then the people coming up who have all those bases covered they're going to surpass you but there tal is it too and that's what happened with her your knee deep in the world you know everything about it as a labor's right just looking at them standing next to each other i was like oh shit so you looking at understanding next to holly holm you thought the rain is going to get her ass beat yes when i saw it i was like going to work why do you think that i don't know rochester i test she just looked holy great physically she looked bigger she was i thought she was physically bigger than this person but they are seen sara mcmann rhonda
stop sara mcmann in one round sara mcmahon was an olympic silver medalist in wrestling and she's a tank i wasn't into it like that maybe if i had seen that i would have been like well this is going to be a good fight could you but that was my first time looking at a house like this isn't like this can be a good fight that's just you know it just said that i do didn't i just didn't think it was going be a good fight and then when did you hear you hear you guys talking you here like i was going to get out holly homes actually the box or in this and then i'm like oh she's wow this is to go well and then sure enough didn't go well that made me have like if the respect level for female fighting if i'm just coming in like at that time you know it was like rhonda rowsey is everywhere she's in movie she's in like you know and then you're like oh wow this is great fighter ever i hear this is this she's the attraction of a lifetime and then you go ok alright i will check it out let me check out wow that girl looks big i don't think this is going to
and then she gives demolished and you're like why is this a sport i think that was a big blow for female fighting what are you talking there was like one of the best things to ever happen to me fighting ok were different in well i think she should've one would have been the best thing no no no it's good to know that anyone can lose even the greats even the greats they get is compared to boxing too much is what is boxing be undefeated boxing we love feed it one blemish on your record in ahead it does something then it doesn't work like that memory right because in mma there's so many different ways to win the only one is really undefeated at the top of the food chain is well two guys could be nurmagomedov who's the lightweight champion he's undefeated period mauled everybody except al iaquinta the distance with them and you know but still be disaster still beat him
jon jones is really undefeated john jones has one loss in his career but it's a disqualification is easy guy that's been disqualified 'cause he was well on drugs or something got caught with some shit in his system that he shouldn't have this system and how did he get it in his system we don't know it was only in there for a very short amount of time there's a lot of speculation we don't until that gets ironed out by the way one of my good friends in the whole wide world is eric coke he's also a ufc i'm a fighter you know air coke from two proof is jim yeah yeah ok it's good but if you know how i know we play video games together oh no shit yeah yeah yeah mother fucker he really is he's he's a crazy dude now i know so if i'm in public and some shit's about to go down i check peoples ears oh that's a good move yeah but i'm i'm finding about looking into his ear look yeah but some be it's out there there were guards yeah but be careful nobody
i'm not going to fight anyway i know but don't one more year boxing i might i might be like you don't want test me start doing that passing she started to start thinking yeah melissa noise i'm making how to talk talk talk talk time know that kathy one quick the first time i ever boxed i was like robinson in woman cracker box each other no we were back to each other by craig list on the box and he took me to do this whole black dude he was like in his sixties right old school black to so i got an in ring with him the guy he was like i come on in ring you know i'm in there and were boxing three minutes i have so much more spectrum boxes after doing this so he's like you keep hands up keeping her is up you know what i'm like alright and then he hit me in the head joe because he didn't keep you and i was like he actually hit me twice some locks in man blank oh and then it's like your own blood it was like thirty seconds left in a fight and he put his hands up and it was like finished up
st on the street and i was like kicked him in the nuts i would like to see those off i what i did box again for a little while to recent so that was one time it was what it was so hard it was like that's three minutes i was like how can these people throw fifty punches well you got a bill hold up to it error i'm going to make this thing comma coming here i want to i need to workout i need to laugh you know laughing like you can see what a joe rogan work out this key is your doorbell out top home i thought about doing a while ago but good as it i'd read this i do too many things publicly i'd rather just keep someone myself this is a man who has a family now has has the level of success that he is comfortable and now you starting to see like not everyone needs to know everything it's not just that there's value in
doing things just for you i'm no no no no no no just working on stuff and doing things just for you don't do things publicly like everybody in this day and age but he does everything on social media have done a bunch of things put them on social media but i think there's real there's a benefit like why did you do the things you do like what what i do the things i do for to read one either i enjoy them or i think they make me better they make me better person like i take all be on your tape i do a lot of yoga i did yoga today do i do it a lot and one of the reasons why i do it i think it makes me a better person i think it makes me more mellow which i think is good i have a tendency to not be mile mellow it makes me more friendly i think it calms me down and i think it's very good for my body so i do it all the time but i'm not about to do some yoga video i got to stand up for that reason yoga kami calms you down yeah yeah i understand that you stand up to like it does it calms me down if something happens to me i go directly to the stage that's a great way
work on it though like can develop mateer no that's what that's what yeah even sit in this like silly like if i see a movie that moves me i might go onstage be like go see this movie where are you working out now i know you do the store and i know you do the factory but do you fuck around and go to the haha or the ice yeah yeah fine my start was when i knew i wanted to do this i was going to open mic's and then i went to long beach they had displays cog marked the queen mary and they had a laugh hope this guy steve kimbrel had this really shitty club on the queen mary should we did fear factor in the queen mary goes right down there and i remember they had it is someone's doing a room there that's the room you're talking about so what i what i did that and then i started doing the ice house the annex that's a good room at three shows on friday shows on saturday so that started doing that from there i went to the ha ha and then i was like posted on the weekends and then terry luck terry from uh you know glad browser so what are you doing wednesday night wednesday night
you want to the ice house yeah let's do it wednesday night ten pm one thousand pm that's house i'm with joe rogan tony hinchcliffe's on the show two tony so then i went to i went to the ice house then i started going to ha ha and then i gotta showcase at the comedy store you know mitzy didn't even look at me she didn't even didn't even talk to me what year this as it was a year jay davis got past so i wanted to kill myself i see ok with jay davis that's not route jay knows his fucking face he knows so we're showcasing the same day as she passed him and then didn't even talk to okay so i was in she watched me went down like i said you don't like it that's what i thought which really pissed me off here is this again do this month been two thousand and two thousand
and three hundred ish so this is when jay was aunt orgasm with dane cook yes dane was supposed to showcase that night too but he refused to come 'cause he was dane cook and i get it so he refused to show killer so that's what i hear i shouldn't even say well that was the no day now i should ask before but i had you ok so i know louis ck didn't get past this to black i get it i mean this is like i don't like she got her old there so i get to showcase my then friend amad amad is set up showcase that night and i didn't get past so a year and a half later had to do i had to deal with tommy you know and and listen as is what people get on him and i think tom he's out there thinks i hate him but i so there was a method to his madness you know maybe if you didn't even know it it worked for me because he was my villain he was my enemy okay so i had to get past him he was the gatekeeper i had to the past so it took me a year and a half of like
we went belly room and and just hanging around and people keep saying to him hey you should put eric griffin you know so then i go another showcase it was in the main room during one of those bringer shows they were doing the showcases during those and she was there they had her in her booth and i did my say i ran the light to who feels a this well we're here we're talking about this this is like a like a yearly so it's like two thousand five you know two thousand by two thousand five two thousand six and then it it's around that time two hundred and thirty four five six i'm not sure when it was you know and then as i'm leaving they're they're bringing her through the the the main room and their you know their hair helping her through the whole way to go to the kitchen and she stops if you look that means says you are funny who knows the only words she ever spoke to me that's all you need that's all i needed and then he comes over his eye while you're gonna get your your your she passed fuel your inner belly will now head butted him right now you know this shock in my
all right up and then he told me i had to be in the belly room for a year and i knew that was a lie one past me so i get but i needed the i needed to challenge you know you know one of my best moments for me personally i like we did there yeah i had you know because i gotta tell you through your hand back tonight yeah bad richard over at a comedy and magic you know and i love you love richard try to showcase for richer the nicest people ever so not they treat comics that i see you go there you go there not to do comedy you go there to get food and look at a hug hug people hang out with good people man for real so i remember i tried to showcase for him i sent him a tape and he was like agattu dirty and all this stuff and he wouldn't pass me honey this is a years later now maz jobrani is doing a show and he says he won't be on my show so i'm stand in the hallway before i go on it with that mc and then were joking about being clean and i said you know what i'm going to pull my dick out again
the suit is walking down the hallway this guy to suit his walker eagles hey please don't do that and i go you know i'm just kidding we laugh a little bit we laugh a little bit i go onstage murder it and then i'm headed to the and that same guy in the suit comes running at me and is mike is the owner of this letter and he says hey he goes man your whole areas were aren't you working at my club why don't i know you at that moment richard is in the hallway and then i look at richard and i go yeah richard why am i not working here is it what would you know you do give you you know you your dirty as i complete clean i play churches i played cruise ships i'm a professional comedian my point about this is that moment of him score coming and like being like okay you're in and after that i was in worth waiting for as opposed to like kind of bully my way into places like i felt like i earned that
and since then rich and i were friends you know it's like but i had to i had to earn yeah darn it i had to like find the right moment i had to like you know what i mean i've been on there could have been on the wednesday night i saw show with joe rogan before possibly do you know joey like you have to get into these situations joey can't work me the ice house the one place why they won't have them two thirty what do you do he went he went up with talking about sniffing his balls and want to make one too many cock sucker doing the pigeon stick his nose up girls asses was going down on behind i do the pigeon they would just fuck it first of all he was murdering to the point like drinks phone off tables the lights were dimming with their short now and it michael like you you know mike's the sweetest guy in the world because i love you i think you're amazing it goes but i can have you in club you're just too dirty seems like look it goes i understand yeah it was he was mad you know he's like one of the only guys that told joey that can't work
but joey was already successful by then he just would work you know joe is works with me so he just didn't want to do it yeah did joey com you know what i gotta say like one of them one of my favorite phone calls i've had is joey is calling me the other day he's you know i don't do this sucker you know at all you what your really good on i'm dying appear and he's given me company that's beautiful and i just no and i was like when it comes from someone is one hundred percent genuine yeah and in a way the way he was talking about it i thought i was like oh that's great that's what you want that's what i learned when i got back into later too by the way when i was thirty i knew that you had to get the respect of your peers these people that you would do this business with have to think you're funny because those are the people they're going to get you work well they have to like you guys are like you to him that's a big one like him to be a nice person and you don't want to be hit what you are not very nice person but one of things is nice about the
how many store for sure is that i think and this is our attribute this to the internet because i think what's going on with the internet now there's so many opportunities for the commute for comedians now that we're not in competition with each other anymore i don't think we ever been they used to be i like that man the 90s in the 90s everybody was like doggy dogg it was different there was a lot of people back then that felt like say if you got something like you got a tv show why did i get that fucking show those people that it was a limited number of things is what i call famine thinking ever that expression as i know it's likely that expression is a deadly it's just a poison to your life and the way you think of well the world that a lot of people have that problem that famine thinking i think people still feel like that now but i always always liking it to golf you know i think that the we are on a leaderboard but we're still fly
against ourselves seven oaks golf court competing you're still competing for the championship there's no competing at the comedy store i know i know i know but what i'm saying will stand up comedy today i think there's so many opportunities there's so many places to work so many stand specially doing the road there's some theaters so many comedy clubs so many but there still only fifty weeks two weeks year think about that what does that mean how many headliners are there in do you think you know real ones three hundred i'm not joking i've ok that's ok is maybe worldwide well there's only ok well then there is enough then 'cause there's like how many how many do you think there are how many like mizore five hundred there might be five hundred left at a club though there's only fifth two weeks for the web book wine club but that's one club so there's nearly utah i have a right it is to this hundreds of cities well i mean it's still it's still it's still a fight out there man to all that thing for the good week it
what do we get july fourth weekend shows it a bad weekend so little because i get i get mother's day father's day july fourth did i get those too well i do those weekend yeah you like 'em you're doing you're doing once the last time you did a thursday night at a club i don't use do thursday night in the weather in the store i'm saying you don't do that to thursday nights on the road like even on the road theaters different but i'm saying like there was a time when you got your block where you were doing fry play saturday and you're out yes right clubs at clubs so there's still that just because i just got tired of the fucking grind you know what what got me more than anything is doing morning radio where you had to get up early in the morning and then you try to get some sleep and you never could and then you just wrecked and then the only time you didn't get the radio working it doesn't work anymore but back in the day it did you based on what you do it they're crazy they're crazy that's a waste of time so is the same thing as a guy uncle something psyche
it must work in some places i don't know i mean i'm talking out of my ass if i'd i sometimes we're going to go on when i go on stage ago who heard me on the radio no me while you were up at five o'clock in the morning i'm up if i lost it yeah that's the thing is like if you don't get good sleep that in that's a problem with doing three weekend three nights in a row in different places when i told i just in new york i was just over tonight you got the third night both through nights in a row if you're just in caroline's that's ok because you getting up in the morning in the same hotel room but when you get up and you have to go to the airport and then fly by the new place right right take a shower go to the gym try to wake up that's where it fucks you up three it's not by the time the third night comes around like damn i'm kind of worn the fuck out well you just said something that's not even a part of my thing like you you use you said get up go to the gym
i gotta add that you gotta add that this is not made that one man i fly somewhere if i fly in i put my fucking bag down i unzip it i take my short doubt i put my fuckin running shoes on or whatever i'm going to where i go right to the gym right right to the jim i don't fuck around because if i don't i'm not going to do it i feel you come up standing in a nice hotel and they have a twenty four hour gym that's my favorite i just put my fucking headphones ronan just whatever you know what to do in the gym get on a fucking elliptical machine and do one slash two an hour to make it make it make you sweat you know what i like to do this is going to sound crazy but i love doing those like german insanity well that that's what i would fill that spot
check off like when i get to the screen back down take my shorts all get my one sock ready i never did that who does that try to people say that why would you jerk off in your shots for people are gross and this one this is supposed to simulate some sort of like dyngus pussy some sort of some woolly pussy hot pussy suck suck yeah even then then feel like you cut your but anyway bring like a flashlight with you on the road you're creep yeah yeah the moma that they go through your bag that you know at the airport at the airport stanhope did that once right after nine hundred and eleven he traveled with a briefcase not a brief is a suitcase filled with dildos and rubber fists and all this shit and of course then checked it everywhere and that was why he's doing it their like open up his bag and like what is this is my sex toys and they can't say shit
sex toys aren't outlawed have you seen how crazy need sex robots or looking yes but i mean yeah you know how this feeling we have about self driving cars there's a there's a fear out there about self driving car we're not there yet it's not going to be our generation to fully embraces it were ten fifteen years away from like this is going be a normal thing right this the same thing with the sex dolls alright when i see them i have a disconnect of light i can't i would never just they just look you say that now but if it gets to like x makeena well honey gel that's coming loses they wanna be self cleaning their life size sheep a google search sheep come you got that bookmark to know why you know is this one on the left for pedals files this type in sex for about a
this girl mannequin with realistic features what in the weo that is creepy as fuck i don't know about that one right there to jesus christ that is creepy that one of the left on the real problem was a fucking little kid that's what i'm saying yeah that is creepy as shit well i guess that's one way to jamie don't click on that display it's not a sex robot i don't know why it's popping up there yeah then why did you click right on the tablet but hold on a second but that's under but you have sex robots what's coming in the first thing is shocker sex robot on girl mannequin with realistic features that's fucking gross let's meet harmony the sex robot go to her go to look for at least a grown ass woman sex robots at her go full screen let me see this shit one i've seen this always some
those are my only my god well that's what she looks like yeah it looks that good yeah we're getting there she's so it still something oh wow jesus that's how they want to look ahead covered just to ask so weird oh god that's even we need to look at the whole where the neck is cheap is a system they look at the booty yeah so damn done is unbelievably lifelike though crazy like come on man this is a senior science fiction movie if this was one thousand nine hundred and sixty is a sign fiction movie oh she can blink slowly and seductively look at it because she's blinking eclipse right now just i don't know if this was a science fiction movie from like the 1960s and they have this would be like whoa this is cray easy because it would be so far removed from yes how are you best is no way that this is get up and look at what they're doing but this is not far fetched this is the close you know i think you know what i think that this is going to be bypassed by is
virtual reality like brain links assumption sort of thing where like you can stim take the mind in a way that you think things are happening i think that's going to bypass all of this technology i think it's going to be both but i think i think you're right that that's coming too i think but i think this is coming too i think this the ability to have like a real realistic robot that will fuck you that's not hard 'cause you just get all the moves that it has to do a lot of moves ice you know also they'll be quiet you know i think also a good thing if it's possible is have a move have a robot like that to practice martial arts on i have a robot that throws punches and kicks we now use on that see now you thinking about improving society not just for sex so you can have a robot teach you to play piano teach you how to do like i'm just talking about a robot that you can fuck up like leg kick
we have seen though body kick in is not going to her training thing yes yes yeah totally possible have it like a robot in there cooking how it doesn't it doesn't move quickly but it moves slowly so you could just work on drills and shit is there to have one oh no no no no no they don't jamie this is just a fucking punching bag that moves back and forth some stupid at things done that could try though i don't want to take that throws like throws back it yeah i want a person this is like but this is good for is hyperextending your fuckin elbows you're going to miss this thing and hurt yourself something that's a good idea honestly i think your idea about having so having a sex robot that same technology used for fires arts yeah trainings yeah because i have a dummy that i practiced ugetsu on but it's still it's like this call above a dummy he just lays there like this and but i can
practice arm bars and triangles i could do reps on it i just do right right right but it's not as good as doing it with the person but it's hard to get a person just stand there and let you fucking choke him over and over but a robot what could you get us male sex doll we get a a you do order it's because really i want the butt hole sealed i want the dick from where we hold on hold i don't quite the mouth when post i want to hold on hold on hold on why does the butt hole need to be steel so you don't want to be tempted no one can accused me of emotion and it doesn't even work bro i'll show you take the guy joe what is the butt hole still work i don't know i specifically called and say
no but why is this cock so large are your closet glistening was it smell like strawberries should always be dirty too yeah yeah why is your feet a couple specks of blood on it it should feel like this big cleaned and used you keep the plastic on it like a phone you know when you get your phone but those those real dolls they move like a real person like you didn't mind practicing on the girl real doll you would order the girl real dog with like small breasts you know so like the breast don't get in the way and then he could work your mouth get mark zandi trials and then when you're done you there you go this was probably like dating in a no we different than dating when you're dating i'm quite a few data ufc like do you think rhonda rowsey in her guy do they have like they get excited like that when they're like
at each other i doubt it or they just stay away from that completed i bet they do that but they don't even train together well she's done fighting now she just does wwe which is great i think that's great for her but she's great at it she's very good she's she's a decent is a decent enough actresses and entertainers she's entertain yeah and that's why this is supposed to be anyway so all entertainment right it's like what is it for it's just to distract you and give you something fun to watch but we're so close to roman times where like you know we want someone you see that bare knuckle boxing event they put did this past weekend no second with that man i understand i just not into like watching violence like that i have a problem with it like muhammad ali like how he was in his later in his life i go why would anyone do this even going to watch professional athletes like oh my god this is what i'm saying like i can't wow
they did it in wyoming legalize bare knuckle boxing that just looks horrible well the idea is you can't hit people's hard with bare knuckle so you're going to get cut up a little bit but you're not you're not on the same kind of head trauma no that's not true to do didn't know and what about what's his name to hit flutie tom jonovich the old coach from houston who's playing in the nba they used to fight in the nba in the 70s this this fight things to fist fight i used to have real fights and somebody seventy seven and clocked in the head and he broke his orbital bone so this was normal things man it would just fight i'm talking about he found it see yeah now see the replay yeah because he came you know so what's what's happening here it's hard to see what's going on rudy com's and this guy clocks him in the head
said what it was looking at the run to the area watch here comes you just coming in to like so i stopped the fight and this guy he was coming at home and he's running right towards him that ruined his career yes well that's an orbital fracture and that's really common in mma it happens all the time but like imagine with knuckles no i do so you really think that it is bad i'm telling you thinking with gloves just work just as bad you can hit harder trust me you hit someone hard because it doesn't hurt your hands does the gloves are not protecting the opponent the gloves are protecting your hand so i get that i'm doing this boxing i take my hand out these gloves in my fucking fingers are killing me right take take no no glove and go over to my heavy bag 'cause that heavy bag is stiff go over and start punching that i know it's working and i get the same with punching a person fourteen ounces sixteen now so i'm not sure which i don't know why but sometimes when to fourteen ounces i feel like oh this is a little more i got a little more yeah to lecture oz well yes and
well these are zero ounces it has moved very funny that those zero hours globe well ma there four there four ounces how i couldn't even listen that looked terrible those guys faces that can't be you could break domino's dude everybody's nose gets broken in the ufc everybody everybody's face gets bro orbital brown this is your world man i get it i hear you i've i turn the thing on and i hear your voice and a lot of details let i i'll ever on fx how's it going this to rogan you just go in and you sound like a totally different person is crazy you get like you're like that you're it here in a whole different like in that two you know you just sound like if it was like rocky iraqi movie you know
and then you hear the announcers that's you right there you got it down well but doing it a long time i know who they are you know so but that's your world so i'm not trying to diss but your world but i just i finally from that with that you see in with that punch that was nineteen seventy seven they probably did know how to fix those things back then but now they know how to fix orbital fractures and to is along those lines doesn't make it ok but i'm telling you it's not that guy punched that guy with gloves on have been just as bad unless it was boxing gloves boxing gloves hoop what we got hurt as much because you're dealing with a big thick heavy pad you know box goes eight ten ounces depending on the fight on you know yeah i know you sent it seems like it's working designers work yeah it does well that's what i don't know that is better what would you get mostly is cuts like you see those guys were all cut up because the knuckles the bear not those skin hitting scared yeah this here's this field
i do this and i'm not going on i just feel allow i just feel that would be like yeah well it's interesting because a lot of i was saying for the longest time you shouldn't have even wraps on your hands i go 'cause it gives people an unrealistic idea of what you could do with your hands and why are there pad on your knuckles when there's not pads on your shins or pads on your knees or pads on your heel or pads on your elbow 'cause you're smashing people with elbows there was way more power that you can jenner hitting someone with an elbow with a bear elbow than you can with a bare fist a bare fist if you hit someone in the forehead or even in the cheek sometimes you break your hand but not with the elbow to elbow you could hit four head
and face it had everything what the hell out good head but to me it was a temple i'm gonna have you pull something up because i i sent this to shop there's something that give me one second here and find this because josh emmett cv could fight just google this josh emmett detail hellish road back to health following jeremy stephens ko animated like stuff you got over there what's this yeah as alfa brain it's a cognitive insurance right should just a limitless pill it's not going to be talking about science and so this dude i can't even open it i don't have you bite it and tear that do dot code by stevens who's like one of the most ruthless now knockout artist in the ufc and he's got major facial fractures major his like orbital
well it was fractured his cheekbone was fractured his nasal cavity was fractured like fucking everything is fractured and he just had emergency surgery like the second surgery he went to orlando where the fight was and they either missed diagnosed him or they missed some of the injuries but he was still fucked up they didn't catch a lot of things he says and then he went to another doctor got an mri and they immediately took me to surgery like do how whole head is broken now i don't get it this is legal here's my have you fought yourself you fart in this stuff not there was no mma whales fight i kick boxed and i fought in a lot of taekwondo tournaments there's no there's nothing in you to not right now i'm fifty years old the fuck am i doing doing that they got to get like a forty two and over league they don't but there are some guys that are in their 40s is still fight but it's just
i met a young man's game right what's it's also a young man's game because by the time you're forty you gotta think you've been doing for a long time which means you've been absorbing a lot of punishment for a long time which means you're probably your beach probably done do you like if you want to live into your you know 70s and 80s and be able to hold your bowels in and nowhere keys are you know there's a certain point in time we can't get hit anymore do you even other sports you know if you ever see these old basketball players he can't walk yeah it's crazy knees get devastated yeah they just get account they're like jock doc river clippers tickets side see doc rivers he's on the sideline he can't even is also really tall guy in that down alone all those leverage points yeah and all the impacts the cons and especially i mean laws guys they didn't understand overtraining the overtrained had injuries they just toughed it out and work through them back
injuries weird spinal issues that's why i think they should let every professional athlete for like there's a week period where they get to take some steroids and recover a week if it's not enough ok well you know but to be on a cycle you have been a cycle for eight weeks like us on an off season you get that six to eight weeks of like that cream steroid cream right and and and cryotherapy whom you know well they can do the crying to get your body like dot i agree with the doctor gives you the doctor gives regular people steroids to recover from certain injuries sure and then we're paying these people to entertain us well we should allow them to like ok well here's my six week period i'm going to get my steroids in and get myself back to normal will start training camp i agree the problem is when you go on a cycle like say if you wanted a steroid cycle your endocrine system shuts down and so then go off the steroids your body has a
normalization period and a lot of time i don't know the the hard numbers but i think what they try to say is it's fifty percent of time that you were on the steroids so say if you're on steroids for three months you would need a one and one slash two month recovery period before your hormones normalized and sometimes you need getting your monster normalizes a bunch of things called clomiphene there's a bunch of doctors is that although as i also illegal stuff yes all those are illegal there you go depending on what you know what the break patients are what sport you're in but in mma went to other sports do you watch football basketball number that are you strictly i don't even know the rules i don't know what's happening when i watch football game be literally a caveman whistles i'm not i'm not i'm not i just don't have any room i'll look i watch professional pool one of those i got you must love going to canada you want it
canada and i turn on their espn in canada snooker and and they got like they got the darling the i'd curling make i thought like oh we will never sell this bullshit in x men come may israeli we just ran out of shop he nasally yeah so it's not that like i don't i'm a caveman i like what up jesus jesus eric how you doing that on mike got a big nose push that microphone more feet away but yeah but you're blowing hard with that's not soul you going deep son just made people grow up his people listening you're funny of the fluid coming out of people's nose is so vile that sound you know like when something like you're on a basketball court or something like and someone does uh so yeah you see it like what what
from the guy that wants to watch blood on people's faces i don't want to watch blood on people's face i just think that it would be i don't get it for a lot of that a stick you don't get a thrill out of when somebody gets punched and then they turn around and they're just like they're just like you know i don't get a thrill of the all right i get a thrill out of knockouts for sure in the end which is worse guys hitting people with big shots but it's like not specifically about blood in fact i think i don't like blood because it gets in the way and stops fight stops the fight yeah that's the argument against elbows actually said it the cut stop good fights but they also knock people wanted to throw that out like a big boy you're garbage over there with the garbage is this bug bug fucking just seeing it is like bothering you it's certainly double wrapped it right there right there drop the double wrapped it sit on a table that's not trying to get out
yeah i don't know how we got from sex robots does not it was a circuitous what happens on the market yeah i watch it a lot you know you go from like a way how to get there we don't even know we don't know what we did not know how it got there well i guess i should probably also you know plug my you know my new special coming out is that why you're here that way when is it coming out and how can the folks at home get it june eighth on showtime american warrior i sent you a but i know you watch american warrior yeah it's called america well with the american eric is in the name american and so i have that would go american oh i like oh look at that america on show tile like it that's actually did that looks cool i like the background you feel much at in portland at the star theater in portland to the love poor gap was great and i and this on my first batch of the ugly truth that i i was
talking about kevin christy drew that for me did he really yeah it's that's amazing kevin so talented i wanted to be on a road and then like have a chick in next to me with grenades on it you know to mean like why did chicken cross get it yeah that's a great picture though man that's just as he really did a great job that looks amazing yeah so this one i really go for it on this one man you know i'm talking about what show protesting i'm talking about the kneeling for the national anthem me to type your words going in on this going in hard happy with it i am happy with it and because the thing about like one thing that's weird about specials now that you know they had to be you tell already from that a year ago or two years ago and it's like we're not allowed to like you know topical
do topical stuff like because it's so much content out there right now it's like give it out there i want to know like for me like i want to know what joe rogan thinks about you know just this going on i want to see you talk about it for thirty minutes on a national scale and we just don't do that and we got to do that now i think we should be doing that because they put that stuff so fast anyway then it's like it's not it's not special anymore if you need to stop calling him specials you know they're not what is the name for them if they're not specials is our continent name it should be like our conversations so this isn't there're griffin conversation of rolling stones don't put out a special they put on it now they put out an album like what do we do we put out especially with special because it was only five hundred am or year and you had to be a giant to get one and it was like it was like it was like a celebration of your career and your fans it was like i've made it hears this fans could go yo to not fans come this this guys really funny and you now we're introducing four of 'em in a career akarere this is my
second one now nobody saw the first one you know to mean so you first one was not long ago either way two years ago that was last year it came out last year but i taped it years ago here before so it took a year to come out it took a year to come out because they wanted to come out with the show i'm dying up here sundays on showtime they wanted to come out with the show so the same thing happen this year i'm dying appears out you know and if so doesn't show time can they watch it on amazon or can eventually they'll be able to but this one is showtime on demand yeah you get to showtime anytime app showtime anytime in uh yeah you could watch it there or not i just think that we need to i want to here with all this stuff that's been going on especially with trump in the trump era imagine like do you see what he's done today
the things he could do martin self do there's always he will pardon pardon himself all caps in all caps zero pardon like this is like a like we did this what people did i did i do it i voters airy johnson has on my podcast voted for him it was just one sec yeah so would you say well that's a vote for trump really in this day and age how do i just say not because california in california went for clinton anyway but um 'cause elect coral com ology a by the way if they took with the guy with electoral college the republican candidate would come to california the goal to know the and it get one thousand and fifteen votes right for them anyway so no more than yeah in northern california so anything between services and you know all the way down the five hundred to come into here too not just now in california is people think in northern california as being like san francisco but
no no no those hours solid yes rising above services you can drive for eight hours and still be in california that's all time for his a day drive yeah if you go from mass here all the way up to oregon it's a day these people to live on the east coast and midwest they you know they they could in two hours they can go through four states united mean when they have it is not a sign over here guess it was tough to i want to change into like three california that we heard that shit they don't want to do that shit they're talking to put it on the ballot you poor state it wouldn't be good because la would have all the but yeah you know me would the la sf san francisco and then farmers yeah they just want to it would be another what they do to what would that do to the electoral votes typing question like we have fifty five now so then it would be like what like the main epicenter well however there's urban ethnic people so they're going to not going to draw those no jamie california is the fifth largest economy
world in the world jesus christ yeah take that worldwide we beat out the whole over the uk we beat out the united kingdom united kingdom is schottland too right that's not just england schottland who else is it is it ireland is that the uk thanks christ in place isn't it like twenty percent of the entire population of the united states live in california and thirteen percent or something like that something silly it's like one but we don't know the real numbers i thought i thought it was way more than that little bit less there was more before i thought they think there's twenty million people here i don't think there fucking counting did you forget it does anybody you did you get calendar yeah one of the counters they count anybody that especially all the people that are here illegally how many people do you know that it really illegally i don't know people there are legal i see noah lot of people are canadian i'm just so bougie now that i'm not even around people that were
maybe they don't we don't run in the same circles actually the lady that cleans my house in my belief according to the market and so you know no i don't have a house yet i'm save i'm just i just bomb weird about it i'm just i did move collected i always feel like this job obama now is the last job i ever have and i'm going to need my money well let me stop you right there you're funny dude i just always going to do well but i always do i want to i want to get the house i want that want to get the house i want to die in do you have a podcast no i don't time the next thing i know i'm working on it done when you're you're good at this yeah i i am in the perfect i know i'm gonna you know what will be will be competing right see i have everybody on my podcast known people that supposedly competing but i want to do well i i think there's enough out there for everybody i really do i think that this is amanda nichols own personal time anyway when i watch you daily your podcast then into the next one it's not like i like you
live anymore nothing's lies with you more that's true no i don't i don't even know when my favorite shows come on i just put him in the queue yeah then i watch him all my shows come on on sunday night that's how i look at it right that's when i watch tv yeah that's so so that's a non unique thing and most of the shit i watched these days is on netflix yeah it's all streaming yeah wanna juggernaut they are they don't think is sustainable can't be why is that doing so well yeah but here's the thing if i drop sixty million dollars i'm netflix i dropped sixty million to make a project right when you watch it in ten hours then you're like hey what's next i bet you i guarantee you in a couple of years netflix is going stop this the whole joe comes out in one sitting there going to boot in chunks why would they do that because you want you anticipate
anticipation fired what it does to your brain of the board room as soon as he walks out of that i'd be like fire am no made of him he's retarded their spending have any idea what he's talking about don't anticipate psychologically feels just as good as actual achieving their thing that in dissipation you feel like waiting to see what happens next week all year on a showtime show i see what's going on this mother fucker right here i see what's going on you're trying to like justify being on the showtime show and i think it's a good thing that they come out on sunday it is a good thing it's a good thing you can bitch at the end of the season see before before engine would you can still be in ship with this model obviously is uber successful like one of the most successful things ever then why are they talking about their losing money all the time what are you talking about the data article about look it up losing money netflix made lyrics for hundreds of millions of subscribers so but they put out paid ten dollars a month they may
make more money than anybody but then also put not money if they're given end of comics twenty million dollars to make special stand up comics they put out fifty two specials even if let's say they paid one hundred one thousand which i know they didn't they pay way more than that for each other that's still a lot of money right there yeah i like how you didn't even bother counting to one fifty million worst and doing simple math in my head i'm like five hundred dollars twenty five weeks is that it's like fifty dollars that is a lot of money it's a lot of money damn it paper they give they they made stranger things stranger things is an expensive show damn good show that people watch it in one week it's over there then but then you're saying as a netflix person
people are justifying that by ten dollars a month they spend that's when they have their contact sconce we come in and they have to keep that was likes is really close to sprout surpassing disney's valuation you know crazy it is but i did nothing special by the way in two thousand and five oh shit yeah and when the og original was og son you imagine twenty million dollars off well i'm happy but that it's showing you that you're incorrect netflix is making shit tons of money no no just be is there valuable doesn't mean that they're making a profit taking on debt so like playing a business so but how much make it just like it's just like uber coopers evaluation was they took on like another eight million areas may eight billion dollars what does that mean though when they do that but is it based on their earnings like 'cause they aren't they making millions of dollars a year they're making money then they took on more debt so just to reinvest it back into the company not really interested in turning a profit maybe for two thousand and seventeen they're looking more
two thousand and twenty five that's what i'm talking about you do you know what you're saying did you guess it's not sustainable it but hold on a second but how much do they make let's find out instead of just guessing not that i would give a fuck but obviously eric does cause you so invested in show this guy's model of what is what time do to you so this is like that at that time i saw you netflix special that i did in two thousand and five we actually sold to showtime so i got the rights to it and then how you going back to netflix give one of them licensing deals my licensing deal is going to know what it's going to be my first special i did with rooftop which was now owned by amazon so i think you can get the audience can you get the audio on i think amazon is going to buy netflix watch watch time has done for sebastian and i'm i mean it's not a bad place this is not about where my looks right if showtime wants to be in the air griffin business i'm all about yeah no i hear you man in a little showtimes
great i'm actually ran so my special comes out on friday but only ten minutes at a time so the next week would be in the middle of a bit and this is what i think about bill cosby soon in next week that might be the new model man american warrior episode two we gotta come up with you gotta with some kind of gimmicks so many specials out just keep swinging that's what i'm doing now look be on stage there's no skits in the front or the back end good there's none of that shit it's just anybody introduce you or just walk on still somebody introducing new shit is just walking on stage yes you know how you doing it so it just turns on i just walked onstage ok that's going to be the next one no introduction introduction last time i like you know that's a waste of time i need especially when you have to cut it down i had to cut out nine minutes nine minutes to people understand how long nine minutes is on on for comedy
that's a long ass time so i was shooting babies how many did you film i did twice twice as good yeah if i had to do it again i would want to do it four times what i do and i would take the two second shows me the one you know well i did for last time in san francisco my last one and you just want to boston i did for two but you got for money hear me yeah you got to pay more you guys you have four money but you know but for me it was like i know you want to be loose and because of that i was looser in the first show i've ever been 'cause i didn't just think i had two barrels i was tight as fuck in my first show here and now we're going to crowd so that's important you know so it's like these liberal pretentious white people were talking about but i'm talking about all kind of it was you have to own it when you talk about this stuff you gotta own it you have to own it unapologetic and that's how you have to do it so the second shot was so loosey goosey and i thought i think i captured something here d
portland is an interesting place 'cause it's real liberal to the point where they go so far left it there like militant in a way yeah yeah yeah yeah but i had a great time there man i was i had a great time there last time i was there i was like six months ago and i fucking loved it do you find it like out there it's in this trump era i find that comedy has been challenging it's differently it's not just the trump era it's the era of outrage yes yes but that's what i'm saying is i find that trump people are angry winners they're angry winters like you want you guys in office the glowed are there gluten then you say anything in there just like fuck out now if you say anything bad about trump i have fucking come harder they come hard and i get it i get it that's your guy if that's your guy that your guy get it this thing of the assholes assholes have never been represented before
for real i don't know i think there's no for real at a few not by a politician who's overly asshole ish definitely when is it when is that ever happened i know never and he's in i'm a very abel gds calls the stable genius after that tweet as dark as dark where he says i have every right to pardon in all letters in all capital letters myself i will look at this morning and i got sick to my stomach is just a guy that doesn't know how to do the job and it's not his fault that he was given the job like well he was the one who went after it i know but he is not i'm state is not his fault he was the best candidate in the republican party they should be the one that should be ashamed of themselves i'm watching uh the trevor noah show in east was showing this clip of trump at a rally this is not he's already one and he's up there saying you know i
they told me to say drain the swamp right i don't like he's saying this i don't like that but they said it would work i would stick thank you he even has contempt for the people that believed the bullshit that he was saying he has content for them by just going like you know i said these things just to get elected and it worked and like these other people they just were horrible candidates campaign christy and so he was chris chris chris class kevin chris that he was on my mind the guy that drew might be awesome artists awesome artist so you know kevin christies right listen to this going what the fuck would i do it right i know true that also covered for offices shit out fucker well why wouldn't you be an asshole why would he be like a sore winner you know what i mean using closure i get it but it's the age of outrage and this is like what we're seeing from this roseanne stuff like dude i've been called a racist more time times over the last few days for defending roseanne so i'm saying that i know her she's
mentally ill and then she's all sounds pills i don't think she's a racist at this and i'm going to say this too i think that this is a just because you can doesn't mean you should situation can i tweet something inappropriate of course you can should you when you have all of these things sure the lead of a show you your you know it's a show a family show you're on a family network you have a lot of peoples jobs that are depending on you and i think there was so the error in judgment one hundred how do i think that she's a racist i think that i think that if she had just called the woman just ugly and talked about her her job what would this have been the same thing but you add you know it's like if you call somebody a bitch that you call somebody a black bitch and all of a sudden that changes it
yeah if you call somebody a black monkey bitch then you're like ok where is this coming from well perfect example is samantha bee calling avanca trump affect cunt and she said it on tv she's i mean that was prepared like someone wrote that out as a part of her monologue she set it on television and then the apollo so you're not sure to set it and are they in tvs like we're good but the average size is not good there pulling out left and right but here's the with roseanne she is not well this is a fact like i know i've talked to her she's told me i've talked to other people who know i talked to people who worked with her she's mentally ill but he talks openly about it but if you're not well done second she's on a host of medications she's on antidepressants she an ambient she's drinking she smoking pot she's sixty six years old she's not she not well she smokes cigarettes she's out of it like she's got real
more mental issues now here's the thing if she had problems with her lungs and she smoking cigarettes and coughing up blood would and doing but shit like trying to run marathons would people go hey you know what the fuck is wrong with you you think you could run a marathon but you you fucking stupid no they wouldn't because they would go she but an illness this is why she can't run this way she's coughing up blood she's got a mental illness she's mentally ill this is if right that's why she's done so many different medications such as mental ill what if you we're starting to get mentally ill are you saying that like saying like sort of overtly this things first of all she didn't know that lady was black they have seen that woman she does not look black she thought that lady was jewish when she said plan of the apes she said because of her haircut 'cause she looks like that lady from the planet of the apes she where she swears and she squared to be on the phone this is exact words goes i would never fucking say
now you think i'm so stupid that i would call black lady plan of the apes because i thought she was jewish she goes look at her she doesn't look black that makes it look she's it doesn't but she's she's jewish too i mean those are things someone said well look she did she did she dressed up like hitler and had jew cookies and she was bacon and back in the day yeah she's a shit stirrer by the way she's also jewish you know i think the free pass on doing that but i think that when you you make a mistake this is what's missing from our society now she made him steak you should be allowed to apologize for that mistake live with the shame name and then you move on but what we going to do now is remove people from society altogether i don't want it likes it i'm not going to we're not going excuse her behavior we're not even going to say that there's a reason and whatever the reason is all the mental illness and all this kind of stuff it's still a mistake what happ
she's well enough to work on a television show so i'm saying she made this mistake and i'm not with i'm not with saying that she's a racist either 'cause when i even when i read that i thought i don't i'm just saying as a comic we say things that person is going to translate the math into like well this is because you don't like black people or women or you don't choose you don't like that's not how we operate we just trying to be fun we just trying to be funny and i think that she system error where this is that you would say to be funny in biting yeah and that thing once look back on it she went oh i didn't know this person was black now the people out there listening you can believe it or not but at the same the susan rice comment from a long time ago is way worse 'cause she susan rice is clearly black and she did
a common a long time ago i think it was like two thousand thirteen which said susan rice is a man with a giant swinging eight balls that's what she said now that is way worse that's why way worse and that is a woman who is clearly black i mean you look susan rice is it she's not racially ambiguous at all this other when valerie i don't know her name jerret she's she's got straight hair she's got light complexion inches of the taliban intent though yeah you're talking about right button it's it's or her intent was to be funny she is obviously not do but first she was drunk and on ambien and ambien is a class hamilton morris sent me an email about this is explaining it to me and i talked to a sleep therapist about it there there's a a type of drug that ambien is that's called a hypnotic
and this is one of the reasons why ambien has so many weird side effects associated with it my friend kevin james kevin james got up in the middle of the night cooked a meal went to bed got up in the morning and he had a leg of his wife i confronted him like did you just do that is i don't do that and she's like no the foods in the traffic you cooked it you ate it is like i did not i did not eat that and she's like ok if you didn't do it who did and like he had to like come to grips with the fact that he was an ambient he got up cooked a meal for himself had no recollection of it went go to sleep my mom was an ambient she got up in the middle of the night and drew do on the shag carpet had a white shag carpet in her bathroom with lipstick and with nail polish like a little kid she i don't remember doing it at all scary shit i know a bunch of people that have had weird experiences on that stuff but if you stay in a somebody's house and you
we're an ambien and you messed up their shag carpet you apologize apologize for it but this is what i'm saying is that maybe say she's also she's also drunk to be an then she smoking pot which i'm sure you're probably not supposed to do either when you're on those things and she's an older lady who just got off of an exhausting schedule that almost she in her words almost killed her she was she bronchitis when she was filming and she's not doing well you know she made a fucked up mistaken she apologized but everybody wants a barry herman and i'm not with that i'll tell you with you it's like you can't that's the society that we live in right now that's just like why jumped out rage right now what what what it not just outrage but we won it and your career like why do we want to end someone's career for up like it's one thing like here's a thing like if she was not mentally ill it was nothing wrong with her like say if someone from let's just pick a sitcom
you know say the guy for that on stevie's to stevie still what's on tv right now to stevie a different type of tv yeah yes on cbs or just to get a new one that's on tv what's a new one i could see are you the one of these guys haven't anymore don't have any anymore it's a big thing too so it is okay all right big bang theory is what that is pretty blonde girl in the big bang theory i don't know again what if that girl gets on tv and she or she gets on twitter and she says something totally racist throws and bombs you know and there's nothing wrong with her she's like this is just how i feel and then they come after and they go will fuck this bitch she shouldn't be on television she's racist she doesn't represent how america views people in twenty eighteen she's archaic get her off the fucking air this is but this is you can't get away with this anymore this is in 1920s this is two thousand and eighteen that would be acceptable i understand that if you found a real hateful
person she secretly has like a swastika tattoo somewhere and she's she's an evil person this is not the case with roseanne there's just not it's just not the case she's an older lady who's mentally disturbed and on a fucking host of competing locations for her consciousness well that should be the reason why she needs help but yeah we gotta get her some help but please crazy things like she was america's sweetheart just a couple of weeks ago nine now now functions that travel weekly everybody hates are quickly and people calling me a racist for saying what i said right there this is not this is not an unusual thing in our society like with this code this is this very much reminds me of the salem witch hunt in this is the same kind of thing a little bit right you know it's like the scarlet letter but how how old is this a scarlet letter and we're still doing that hi fi ism yeah right yeah this something that we are prone to it do you think it's because people are scared that they're going called out
put themselves so when they see someone is doing something wrong to go after him attacking with everything they have to almost to divert any sort of these people are scared that people going to turn on them especially in this day and age when people turn on people for like you know the garrison keeler story he's the saddest story in this me two stuff because gary open killer is a guy who had the lake will be gone chronicles is this pbs show radio shows ongoing for decades and he's a writer and he hugged a woman she was he was consoling ari hugged her and apparently while he was hugging are his arm went down her back on her back and he apologized she pulled away you apologize you center a letter e apologize you know but i'm sorry i didn't mean to do that she says don't work no worries don't worry about it year later when all this metoo to frenzy she brings us up he gets fired they pull his name off the shelf for touching a girl's back it's like
frenzy was so hot they didn't want to be accused of not doing anything so they pulled this guy i know you know there is the worst side of it there is the harvey weinstein's the world is that there's the people that absolutely monsters right there's those people but then there's people that just got caught up in the wave of out and it's just it's a strange astray it's time like that there's there's no balance to it while the pendulum's going to swing s swing until you know our our balance out i mean this the fact the me too movement is not a bad thing 'cause it's bringing up some serious issues that we've had it's exciting it's a great thing to happen so in the mean time there's going to be collateral damage for that until we now get back to a time when we can like men wack like gentlemen and will be able to have in personal relationships with women at work and in a setting and make it professional but at the same time we
so we don't want a sterile environment you know when you when you go to these like seminars 'cause like even for our show now because of uh this you have to have like a sexual harassment meeting before you start well they had those in the ninety exactly i went to those for hardball show that i was on in ninety four but one of the things they always say 'cause you can't define this you know it when you see it well that's what they have to say about pornography but that's what we've lost that ability to understand that like i think that that applies to me that is not a good definition it's i know but but but that is the definition is the same thing that goes with over sensitivity i think that too i didn't know it when we see it and we're but we're not recognizing that is you know you're acting and this is a bit much right now sometimes did you hear about the two college kids that got drunk and had sex and the boy upon waking open so bring up decided to preemptively accused the girl sexual assault because he was intoxicated so he filed and went after her she got suspended from school they had to do it
is otherwise you know they would be sexist 'cause they do it all the time if it's a boy and a girl it's always thought that if a boy do you know the occidental college story so pretty famous story from a few years back where these two kids they were in college the the guy called attacks the girls you know i'm coming over slick you have condoms he said yes you know like so clearly a to intent is been established right goes over has so there her friends convince her because she was intoxicated that it was sex under influence it was rape and so she goes to the universe officials and they they suspend the boy he sues and winds and the whole thing is the whole thing's chaos because this kid gets kicked out of school actually did it when i need to know that if you want yes i think yeah yeah yeah let's fact checked that occidental but now you got to have an let it not even interact with when you have to have a notary well that's what the people so maybe i consent to you know so here's where it gets even screw here there was a real
article the other day that was saying is it physically possible for two people to simultaneously sexual assault each other and their they're debating this in a college 'cause they're trying to figure out if two people are both drunk and like they get together and they're both sloppy and fucking hammered and they decide to have sex do they both sexually assault each other isn't it really about choices that we make well it's also about responsibility for your actions if you're an adult if you decide to get in your car and your drunken you plow into a bus and kill a bunch of people know he says oh eric was just drunk he is not responsible for his actions you're responsible for your actions if you're drunk if you carney kill somebody but the idea is a girl comes over your house and you're drunk and you know you're not know for your actions enter specially if you're a girl in your drunk you're not responsible for your actions then if you're having sex with a guy but you're definitely responsible for your actions if you're a girl and you get in a car and
i've been hit someone but i can say it but at the same time though like girl a girl or anyone should be allowed to be with her friends or with his friends and you get sloppy drunk you protect you should use right it's not okay that somebody decided to like go far with it role you know well the most egregious cases obviously because because that was a at his thing i mean if you do did do what everybody's accusing him of doing we have no reason to think to didn't he was taking people that out of him as a mentor and thought that he was going help their career and that was his hustle and he would just drug him they wake up with their pussy sore and their fucking pants off and not knowing what happened and be super confused it's horrible i mean that's that's the war that's the worst version of it and then but then it's like you know those things were saying like this that is hard to define there's no like really definition you can't put it down in writing to say like this is what this is because then you got
situation where you're out on a date with someone things are going well you think it's going well you get into bed and then that person in what for whatever reason decides i think we should stop i don't want to do this anymore and that that could be on the same level as drunken somebody azizan sorry kids club in him on the head that girl right that crazy fucking story five thousand word story that diseases does ari thing is just about him not being a gentleman right that's all that was not dad but she was just grossed out by it and decided to go after him but you know i know i can understand being in a situation like you know people got on the woman 'cause they were like you know why he still bloom three times right but i understand that being in a situation where you're like you're this happen to me alright i was at a comedy club you know i told this girl this is years ago i told her i said she was like i'm coming back to hotel like no i don't think you should i do
it wasn't like i wasn't she forced herself on it wasn't coming please plane manage if you were a girl that's that's where it gets really scary first of all everything she's saying to me this whole night up to getting to my hotel if i would have done that to a woman is all right so abuse like threatening from the jump now he won't talk about this i mean but just what happened so i guess i saved or i was like i don't think i thought was really into our house at the time i wasn't i was like i don't know if this is a good idea i think you should go home you know and then she's like no i'll walk you hotel because we were hanging out of the hole this to everybody's hanging at this place after the sunday night show you know okay we get to the whole so i go well thanks for walking me but i think you should probably know you're going to clean did you know it's like i'll give you a massage it was all this kind of stuff i think you should go i'm not really and then i did my eagle kicks things on my walk you know all right you you like you like this okay to get up funny gifs tears i still my
maybe maybe we shouldn't do this you know and then she starts to like oh your oh yes you're not into me it's because i'm i'm hideous or whatever so now i felt like i have to fuck her i felt like i gotta do this it's like i had to do this because i don't want to become a because like i'm but you know what not saying about the reason how i apply this to the disease situation is the fact that girls in a situation where she feels i guess i have to do this like say that we want to do it now we're speculating really expected the situation where i didn't necessarily want to do it but i felt like the social pressure of like well may i have to follow through with what i'm doing right yeah no i get it yeah that's definitely in in in the morning i have i have to fly woman i think in the morning so we're finished and i'm like i said hey you know you kind of go because i gotta pack and she started to cry
boy and i thought this if this was happening now this could be a situation it could easily be somebody she could tell her story differently so we don't know that's why there's no rules what this we deal she was aggressive and flirting is she wanted what she wanted and she got it you know so that's something this is ok depending on the person that you're dealing with but that same situation with someone else right could be no this was horrible right i did i i i felt i felt intimidated i felt you know it's all in how you interpretative will interpret it yeah it's definitely but it depends on who's talking and whether or not your tractor like he is a perfect example if you and your girlfriend decide to get drunk and you grow i was drunk and she called you up and said come on over you know i'm horny i want you to fuck me if you went over and did it you would ensue some people's eyes be guilty of sexual salt because she
is drunk and she couldn't consent and this is why i never done that by the way but one of my ex girlfriends was like that she wanted to get drunk really she was i just wanna have sex when i'm drunk i just couldn't do it because you were nervous about it it wasn't but it just it was just me personally i did i don't drink well you know trick i don't drink at all so i always felt like if i'm not drinking it just steals like what she says she wants to do something right like she does normally want to do right and then she's going to get sober and be like why did you do that to my hole or whatever you know any like why do you like what you said that you have to always come back to well you know i was drunk right i mean really me i don't you know that i'm like okay i don't want to be the choice maker and i was actually so best thing about not drinking right in that situation if you don't drink you never have to think like that by the by that's why sometimes you want to hang out i thought sometimes i don't want to hang out with people that are like if they get by dumb drunk you're out and then it then i become responsible
well it's the worst when you're sober yeah i think well i don't want to do their behavior so fucking gross gross when you see your and especially if you have like a female friend you're not you're not like that with them but then you're out and then she you know her skirts coming up and you see the creepy guy you see the guy that he's like he's like oh man what do i do right now like if i don't stop her from going and then something happens that she doesn't want to happen is it my stopper and she's like here in fucking hater i love him so cute and we were going to have an amazing time and you rockin hater this all this harvey weinstein and all this kind of shit it's set it set ugly dudes back like twenty years all my advances that i've made with hot chicks has just been like i'm so glad i have a girlfriend during this time power here's the thing it's not about ugly it's about harvey wine
teen being in control of a studio exact and scaring all those girls into fucking him and allegedly raping some of 'em you know i mean i don't know what he did or didn't do but he definitely did a lot of shit i wish i just wish that a lot of these people it's too maybe now people will have the courage to like come out could could it to hear about like this happened to angelina jolie and then like student there was a certain time when she was like most famous woman in hollywood and she didn't say anything so since we live in a black ball i know it sucks if you live in a culture like so the maybe what that's why some innocent people are getting getting caught in the crossfire so we can obliterate this sort of behavior in attitude from our culture but in the mean time while we're going through this is going to be some killers and is going to be some people that are going to get caught in the crossfire did you ever drink no never and i never i never wanted to
when i was in high school and i had no friends would drink and stuff and i just i did was i like to taste you know okay i have i had half a beer at a party one time when i was like what this is disgusting you know and then it was you know it really decided to for me it was like the nineteen ninety nine two thousand new year like going into you know y2k going into that i was at a party that i was like i never want to be like this people hammer just that wasn't
one right everybody was super drunken two y two k they thought of the day and so the power was gonna show i was taking care somebody's baby well you know yeah because that's what it is at this party i had a baby who the gives you a baby no i was taking because there there were two everybody to me was that i got a drunken left you with their baby i had the baby come on it was a crazy part of these people with the baby and i stopped in that and he does the husband he support his eighteen years chris was baby sat was ready so the bells i'm taking care of people so i think that i you hear these will you hear these stories about people die because they're choking on their own vomit so like this people that are like passed out like this so i got turn people to their side cheese and i said i never want to be like this your turn
people holding a baby and holding a baby sister work there was a shithole party man not invited i got invited i went through some of my friends i was i was the wolf in this shit dude i was the wolf so if you're having a party and you think it's going to get crazy you call eric griffin i'm going to the wolf the craziest party ever heard oh so after that i knew i didn't want to so i recently i went with a buddy of mine to vacation and when we went that deal was he was like oh man you gotta have some drinks so i had like a head like a banana daiquiri on you know and i was like this is ok and then i had you know when you resort vacation always be like a special at the bar you know like he had days drink i said i'll try it i had like fifteen for that thing and i was loopy yeah i was ready to tweet races should so i was i was like now what about we'd
no we'd either never never never my current girlfriend she loves we so i tried one time that you get nervous as house yes i i don't like i said how do you i can't be late you know so i just want to double if i did have joe if i did ever have comedy what would you do i'd be crazy person well you're crazy person now he just becoming a dallas comedy i your good call the person you're very nice guy i legit need comma this sounds like one of those cliched type of things but i i rely on it i go to therapy you know i go to there and it's been great for me you know it i love going to therapy i love cuz i feel like i can talk to somebody and an intellect price things on a level that you can't necessarily do with regular people and not just dance human nature or something yes yes yes they can go overall yes why you did this or what security that triggered that and apply and i've learned things about myself i'm only things about like like
but i'm i was only child you know single mom song there's all these things i've learning about like why i interact with you know my girlfriend the way i do because of my mom and like you know my friendships and why get angry about certain things plastic things on stage you know so i'm really why i have so many of these types of relationships in my life where people are like needy you know like i've myself being liked and one is trying to help i don't have a lot of equal relationships i learned all these things probably felt vulnerable as a kid and when you see vulnerable people to help them yes you can relate i am a mom to my mom went through a lot to get to the states you know she was from off you know believes in allah central america and like just coming hearing her stories and like you know having having to like be somebody to take i had i was fifteen years old how to take care of my mom like you know you know her emotions were aware and i and so then that had an effect on me you know but i did learn is until i was able to go talk to a professional are you close to done i never met my dad single parent
you never met my dad so thanks for bringing that up i don't know mine either mine joe rogan he's out there some places out there yeah i've never my dad and then i thought people did you ever want to meet your dad did you ever see you know it's funny my mom mean i met him i knew him until i was like six oh that's worse i'd never knew that i think that's if you little bit and then they're gone that sucks good thing is it it made me realize that you can't count on people but you you can trust issues yeah i did definitely that's resources there become someone that people count on brand count on people that's what you do not have a tight group of friends like me and my friends are very close i get it i would do anything for my friends and family to see i have a certain there's a certain level of loyalty that i have because of that yeah well you understand it was someone who grows up in a big household filled with people and the family was always there never was there you might take people for granted a little bit you know
where is for me camaraderie and closeness and all that shit means a lot to me it's very very i remember asking my mom about my dad when i was like i don't know one thousand seven hundred and eighteen you know and she got really offended you know shows like i raised you and that made me think like i was like but women have their secret like they have their things and i didn't want her to i never i don't regret your i i don't pride and i didn't want to find out like she you maybe he wanted to be in my life but my mom was like you know who knows you don't see the could remark she could've been vindictive like that but i don't know but i didn't hold it against her but he told me his name and she was like if you want do this on your own you know that kind of thing and i add the name for like a week and then i forgot it and that told me that it didn't matter so i ever since i never worried about it good for you yeah some people do that it bothers him for their whole life one thing i know when you have kids your bond with your kids it's like it's
i mean i i would assume that everyone's bond with their children is very tight 'cause it's on unbelievable love connection that you the children are you true unconditional love is not just true in conditions like big there a drug like they give you they give you love to the public my daughter might my youngest was we're planned the other day in the pool and there's a one time we were just laughing about something together just laugh and i'm looking at her face and she's laughing and i felt i was on drugs yeah i love that i have for these people is so it's so intense it's it's it's and it's also i didn't get that when i was kid i didn't know exactly how saying man parents my mom worked my step dad was a really good guy but no ones ever around you know that there was no and when they were done working everybody was tired you know i was a latchkey kid you know when i was like seven years old i live in san francisco would go out and do a magic show on fisherman's wharf by myself just wander around the city they would open the door you just
seven i can imagine that i spend a lot of time by myself too because my mom was working and until by yourself trying trying trying to make it trying to make sure that i had a good life so i'm just by myself eric if you have kids with young lady or another young lady your connection with that kid will be it will blow your fucking mind it'll change who you are i feel like that's what i've been lack and that's why i've been more open to you know thinking about these kinds of things you seem like a dad yeah well because i nine a picture in your dad right my whole life i've been like you know i've been that that role for so many people in my life right now holding a baby into over drugs take i'll be taking care of people like paying a whole so that's why we still like i always feel like you have already had at one of my best friends in the world is like someone that i that that's like i've i've had to take care of you know he's had a little drinking problem in yeah but i've been there the whole time and i and even though people would be like you know you you you have to like you know the you know that people think that you know the the
set alarm hit rock bottom yet but i i'm just not like that i've been through that to add uh very good friend of mine just my best friend who died of heroin and he was always fucked up it was always something it was always he had a crack problem for a while and then got on pill tools and it was he was either snort net or it was like he already lying very much reminds me of this guy and joey diaz did a little bit too met joey was like right after my friend john it was like before johnny died john is still alive but i've known people like joey because of my friend johnny but you know it's just i always was there for him i was always trying to take care of him i was always trying to help him but it's just he was always there's always something going wrong and it never and but there was these brief
comments man where he be fine we'll be last we have the best time and that's why you fight for if those times because i was always i was always thinking that one day he was gonna get it together i would say thing with my friend is like this still going on with me right now it's like you know when you have you deal with someone that deals with depression real depression you know losses mother and you know that how that affected whole life in this like so i'm there needs younger than me solve i feel this mentor ship and i just feel like a loyalty that i just can't shake brand so why you know so that's that and i know when i so when i go to their baby i want to ask why am i this way and then i realize the comedy has been dampering mayo depressions or my own feelings 'cause i feel like i'm d playing with it in some way so sometimes i go and talk about things and i talk about things in a way i just no holds bar because i want to i want to get this out like this you know i if i don't like something and then
combine that with we live in a society right now with people don't want to necessarily hear an opinion that is not theirs definitely a little of that right and so then therefore we get this like it becomes is tough more and tougher to do what we do but it's not going to stop me from doing it but that's it's sweeter and sweeter when you pull it off you know especially yeah controversial yeah i just got to navigate the waters and see exactly what i feel like i've been the i've been doing another i think i did it with this special i think i i try to talk about things in a way where i was like okay you may not agree but you don't have to vilify me right now you don't have to like you know you know but i'm anyway it goes back to like you know a like who we are as people because of like our our parents you know right you know and it's like i my i love my moment of my stepdad steph does a great guy i'm glad he's in my mom's life you know they're often spain right now the move to spain like like say like a year and a half ago and so they're they're
you know in uh i'm happy that she's happy in the later part of her life that's awesome you know yeah that's mean look man at the end of the day it's be just about enjoying this experience just having time with people you care about and enjoying it and it's hard to figure out what i mean we're very very fortunate in a lot of ways but one of the big ones is that you and i found com and you imagine we don't you look at other people sometimes we go how the fuck they live without telling jokes dude how do they over the killing this is some bullshit happen on tv ago that guy needs to go do open mic so you know you need to go get that out there to get that out well you know that feeling that you get like friday night the or just nash and you get off stage like it tell me there's a better feeling 'cause whatever i was feeling it all goes away or but that's why i feel like i do think though that sometimes we're like putting a damper on it and that's necessarily go away but we found another outlet to get it out well you just
got a little intoxicating you taking a little happy pill but you know like this there is happiness and all sorts of things that you enjoy dylan i found uh i try to fill my life up with activities that i enjoy doing but family zabih one two man family is it's a it's a different thing just you know and i'm all i have all daughters it's all my house is off itself emma and everything is female so i mean i talked about it on my special about you know the bruce jenner thing about you know like that my last special the one before this one it's just that if you live with crazy bitches long enough eventually become yeah it's like i am becoming like more the more familiar with a more feminine version of yourself so my god i'm so much more feminine than i've ever been ever so much more tune with how girls thanks so much more tolerant of like nonce let's talk 'cause like when your kids are talking nonsense talk it's just different but it's
you realize like if you and i'm one if i'm around like women when they're talking together and i'm an observer in a wash them they just talk about different ships me there at the end and then when you we've just talked about different shapes for like two hours but with you like try to interject interject and go hey you guys see that bare knuckle boxing fight that was fucking awesome ugh let's get away from the area yeah like for them what you're interested in is stupid and for them want to talk about whatever the fuck they want to talk about that they're into at the moment whether it's shoes of the royal wedding or whatever relationships have been in relationship for this long now has taught me patience patience is taught me patience taught me like that to accept the double standard that that things aren't supposed to necessarily be equal that they're supposed to be always think that cycle one of those scales you know and you put in the scale on this side and she puts different things but that's how you bounce out but they don't have to be the same thing you know people don't
love in the same way so you except you shouldn't expect it to be the way you give it but that becomes a problem you know that becomes a problem i had a girlfriend once that she she didn't express' love in a way that was like hugging and she didn't want to do it that way wasn't affectionate she wasn't affectionate she like if you buy me a tv or something you know but so weird and i understood though because it was because her family wasn't like that they want it wasn't hard they weren't a hug people but i was there i feel sad for people yes i do because we you mean in a tech interaction we need a connection we need to you know we need to fuel you know we to feel that we also need smiles we need smiles from people i would tell my girlfriend like you know the the most beautiful when you're just like being smiley because the moment she is in a site when i do he does have a relationship i wonder what you did what if she's mad is is she mad i know she's mad what
i do or what did she think i did pre emptive like if i do that will she oh my god do i know it's like a davinci code man we're just trying to figure out what i'm learning with her but i remember i was with a girl those dating at the time i was in my 20s i was very young at the time and i was with a couple of my buddy and we were talking in this guy was he was bringing up that this guy was having some crazy problem his girlfriend and i said oh yeah i go she's she's crazy and here's a problem i want to get rid of her 'cause she's fucking hot and i go she's like was that girl from real housewives not real housewives desperate house terry what teri hatcher this who's back like she was in one of those fucking me movies one of those summer movies way back in the day you know terry hatch is a few years older than maine so this is like
i'm talking this with this conversation took place in the 90s so i think the way i described it then i said like a young teri hatcher she got so mad at me that i used teri hatcher young teri hatcher to describe and i i remember sitting there going what yeah i just yet use use you're such an and i'm like what did i do our talking about this guys gotta girlfriend was hot she's hot like young teri hatcher there she is oh yeah she is stupid hot like but she wasn't like some movie where i forget what the the premise of the movie was but there was a guy a movie that couldn't you couldn't deal with the fact that she was taking cash confused anyway my point is
i didn't get it i was like what did i do wrong of course she was mad that i didn't use her as an example of someone really hot god sometimes she was million ways sometimes i know now here's a pro s comics like we're like you know we like to think of a logical ways but we also like to analyze things yeah so like you know so like you she asked like how i feel uglier you have to be like get to know at that moment hello is she fishing for me to say compliments complement one more flags are like this she just woke up in sometimes you just you you have to just be like are you look so great today i think you got a pre emptively just throw those in there did it just it just decorate the plate with here's a vigorously you know it's weird she knows you don't believe it
at this particular time fixes beautiful know know know know know know know say fucked up no i'm saying she's going to know now i heard you on the pike now i'm talking about fucking bullshit me i think they know when they just need it and they know you know they want you know that they just need this right now whether you want to or not they just they they know that and that's what they're really connected to he's doing what he's doing that thing for me right that's all that it is do this for me and some girls don't need that shit at all some girls don't need it like a stupid it someone needs something else his goal you save that and say that and get that debt credit yes but you know if you know the baby girl in her twenties is is you know that's why i had to start doing boxing because i you think you have to fifteen right yes i said i gotta like you know i like the things i have to do after work
magic yeah man because in a few years the thing is like there's a definite deterioration of your physical being as you get into your 40s if you don't keep up so if you keep a not not look at me if you can come out fun cuddly guy but i got to get i got to get there so it's in my my i put i put on weight so i packed i walk by a donut shop in our game my two pounds what do you eat i just a horrible horrible yeah that's the thing yeah so you died smokers not and i gotta get that died in gear but i don't i don't mind eating wild my problem is this if it's in front of my plate if it's all my played out eat it so i have to shut down on what's on my plate when i met you you were thinner yeah but my weight is always fluctuated you know why i remember this i'll never forget that we both are good friend arcia fear i'm in the hall get a comic store i just got back from the middle east so i was eating like a fucking eric prince over there just just a fat fuck
when i came back i'm in mid conversation with ari and in conversation he leans over with grabs my cheek i'm talking about my car he he grabs my cheek and he goes like this what's going on i went to the gym then next day and i saw end up with a personal trainer like that next day because the way he did it i will like oh shit was i forgot so i had to just get back to it i just been comfortable well he's a comic yeah you know he saw vulnerability
yeah yeah get act like the devil that that he yeah just hire trained but the thing is meant i'm doing the box in man i just started box and you can you can get someone to do like meal plans for you know there's a bunch of those companies that will make you healthy meals to keep it yeah you keep him in the fridge i want to just do it i know i can 'cause i've done it on your own i was vegan for a year you know could i did outlook oh my god i was crazy but you don't want to mess me up as i did at the end of the year i did that master cleanse what's the master cleanse remembered amassed cleanse with cayenne pepper and maple syrup for a week i did it for he pulled over ten days i got today five then the two days of years that your how to get used to like having salad and soup and then i had a fat burger like i was bad went from not eating
from a year but you know what i learn from being vegan for a year is that the meat is not necessarily the main course is just a side dish with everything else so if you have a good thing a broccoli a good thing corner thing of mushrooms and then you have a good thing a steak you don't have to have the steak and then you could have some great side dishes well there's a lot of people that eat carnivore diet now so a lot of people that are eating just meet i think it's also a lot of weight at all about moderation man i don't know you know even it's different for different people workout you workout you got to work on a lot i try to work i've been working out twice a day well there you go my my main thing is one hard workout today a day and one less less hard workout today now you think if didn't do that that your physical physically change i would diminish for sure because when i take time off if i take time off i notice diminishing maybe but maybe that
but also let's say average health is here maybe what you're doing bring do up here so at diminishing you're talking about is just going to bring you to a more average normal le but still in great shape yeah maybe or maybe you're overdoing it i'm just wonder definitely not over doing it because i monitor everything and making sure that my health is good in my body is in good shape but i just know that if you don't use it you lose it there's just a fact that and when i say workout twice a day what it means is usually i'll do yoga during the day and then at night i lift some weights or i'll run the hills and then at night i'll lift some weights not doing a navy seal workout twice a day no no no one one of the workouts is like pretty calm the weight lifting
scouts are almost always pretty calm and less i'm doing like a cardio kettlebell workout or something intense at this gym they have you could do the boxing and then another days you can come in and you could do like weight training active weights and start doing that one too i bet a big thing with you is just what you reading bro the animal cookies the circus animal cookies i have in my kitchen right now it's not good not good but they how many little packs but i have a pack of fifty right so every time i have one i think i'm only having get it so i have to i'd love to eat just two but the weight get calls on me so fast it's so annoying that it just sits in my gut area especially as you get older like ostrich
i'm big in the middle of a little legs it's harder and harder as you get older it's what's happening right now i gotta stop 'cause that's why you gotta keep up that's the whole thing oh man you gotta maintain like i work on my comedy i have to work on my physical at the same time you'll feel better i want to feel that way more energy cut out the sugar say ha here we go with the sugar but sugar ingrained you lose thirty pounds cut out everything that is delicious just eat salads and fish eat healthy have some red meat but in moderation funny crazy fries a lot of chicken fries drink a lot of water and fries bullshit it's mostly's potatoes and oil what are you getting out of that really we when's the last time you had some fries another day yeah exactly you know what you get out of these brushes yeah but you just can't have it all the time
no that's sad as moderate salem say install moderation saturday night it a nice italian restaurants in pasta last night spaghetti with some fucking marinade our sauces some shrimp it was delicious we just had the same meal i had it last night yeah every now and then volley duvall or or diablo diablo is in the details yeah i like it taste good but i just don't allow myself to do it very often most of the time i eat real clean good for you i'm i'm trying to get there but if you could do it i don't get outfit defensive just saying i've got it i'm in your corner i'm not defending going in maceio angry is just mad at me because i know i should be doing to run out of here and go right to the gym i'm going to leave the building i'm just going to go right over there that's what i'm saying i don't even really big plenty of equipment we could workout side by side i should've brought my stuff i got stuff of course this is me trying to get out of it already got it bring my joe i got my shoes i did boomer orthopedics
getting for comics this like it's it's important to alleviate a certain amount of angst you want to go on page with a certain amount we're upset and you know you like pissed off that shit but you don't want to upset onstage hating you right you know this is same please i don't like comics to go onstage drunk i don't come they need this alcohol or or people that think we'd like you know people that think we'd like out of mass and weed makes you lazy but late people shouldn't smoke weed right i know what you're saying well as a person who smokes weed it really bothers me because i'm not lazy at all and i just i hate that connection between lazy
people in weeks i don't think that's i don't think that's what makes you lazy i don't know how to use it i'm not so i agreed that's why i'm saying i'm not saying it makes you lazy now but if you're already lazy and then you do this is not going to be a winning combination it's not just that it just looks bad yeah and you blame it on the we look at j r smith i think i think that was a weed situations j r smith from the from the call you have no kill you know clearly cappuccino he jumps in to press the microphone heidelberg i know that guy i know we're talking about anyone cavaliers he like he did something really stupid it was like two it was like three four seconds left their their tie ball game one of their other guys at the free throw line he misses the free throw jay r smith grabs the ball instead pulling it up to win the game he dribbles out 'cause he thought that they were up and the look on the
face was like that kind of like i've seen this high look before i'm not saying he was always no i've heard stories and he smokes a lot of weed so and i'm saying like those weird people out there like there is an example of it there brilliant people that smoke weed there successful private have to look at the barn had on his face what the fuck man what do you do first of all first of all how jacked is lebron look at those fucking shoulder six hundred and ninety two fifty probably six percent body fat the shoulders on that thirty three years old too and he's getting better december his shoulders are fucking epic there's another page where are my strain on where he literally looks like an avenger like he could be like some sort of like keeping the fuck away from jeff novitzky look at the picture look at picture of them right there that one smiling look on his folks size fuck
one hundred percent oh that's a high guy and i think the owners understand another stoners i think he got like he had a little brain slip i guarantee did you know when people are paying you seventy million dollars or they paid him off to try to drag it into seven oh my god here you guys go boom that's him there's plenty of pictures of me that look like that too when i'm sober they did catch you you could just look like you could just look up jerrod smith high and i'm sure there's a website so he smokes a lot of weed oh yeah there is much slower smoking well there you go well distant doesn't like one is the nba has it in their contract they don't test for weed they do test but it's not as stringent as ever for weeks these guys are getting high here's the thing for pool for what you are told you i play pool pool marijuana is a performance enhancing
drug one hundred percent it makes my game ten percent i don't believe you don't have to i'm telling you just not make your make it pain better it doesn't actually more sensitive trust me the reason why basketball players find it better to put some into some sort of a zone now you see in the liberal james knees we'd know like there's a lot of pool players who are top of the food chain who don't do anything right but a lot of guys who like it say that we'd bumps their game up quite a bit and i'm one of 'em it makes me play better i'm telling you you no because you don't smoke weed experiment i want i want you to play a few can you when you get a plane pull you planks now i'm gonna play pool sober okay okay then you can see the results and then see problem is if i paper sober and then i smoke i smoke pot and get i will have been warmed up for the playing pool sober and i'll definitely play better high any separate expense pepper days but the problem with separate days is it have to your body has to be like
perfectly in tune in order to get real accurate results 'cause one day i could have lifted weights which fucks up your pool game like nothing here we go tell you do business with you just pick two day my best games i was medicated matt barnes on his game day use of marijuana map part two will not be in the hall of fame who do good player he has all right but he's just all right i want to i want michael jordan to come out and say that then i'm gonna be like oh wow you know what i want someone like that i'm a little bit no go don't miss the role players let's see you're saying this does a guy doesn't smoke pot i when you limit for ju jitsu for ju jitsu it's a huge part of the judges who were a lot of people get high ants and and then to junior to and they say makes the game better what's the practical use of digits well if you and i were in a fight that would kill you think you would have
he would kill me anyway so tell me the practical okay so this is just for that moment but when he's in another time no no it's not just we just want to be high if you are like a walk into your car late at night and then three guys came out you you would would you want to let me ask you who was perfect circumstance that you're is late at night you had at your car i don't think you understand meryl that's what i'm just saying would you want to go down the what was your farm you prefer to be sober high it would be the one to die yeah find with either one yeah well that depends i mean i'm not gonna be able to do anything different if i'm sober or high and fit no we're not talking about drunk now if you i said what i want to be drunk or sober fucking i want to be sober oh no i'm not i get it if i'm worried about getting hit and i'm not sure about reaction time or one of the things about pot is it may
do a little bit paranoid who puts you on edge it makes you aware of shit the other thing is it focuses you like very cleanly on what you're doing like if you're doing out here just drawing now i like it but if you're drawing or music or something along those lines we really try to focus a lot of writing a lot of people really like it for those things because it makes you really focus on what you're doing but there are no vision well i think what happens then is that that just whatever they were doing on that they don't apply it to because i have a lot of how you will be i have a lot of a lot of pot head comedian friends yeah but and if some of them i know that when i started with them i know that not doing what they're doing now than that they're not they didn't dig text just keep going big exceed their expectations big cattle of part of it was because of the pot i don't think it is i think the pot is common option uses an excuse it's not the common denominator is no work ethic how much did nominator is it did it all didn't help the work ethic don't think
hurts or helps i think it's just it's a fact serious study on this yeah i mean the study would be skewed because a lot of failures that get high all the time be in the study right but a lot of winners again highland time don't wanna talk about it i think that and i think that what by the play i'm with you one hundred percent on this i what i hate is that the people that don't have any work ethic look at somebody with a work ethic that smokes weed and then say well look they may it it 'cause they smoke weed and i'm like no they would have made it without the weed yeah they would've made it without the weed that's what i'm saying before i ever smoked weed already on television they already had a warner brothers cd's no yeah start smoking weed until like two thousand i'm not i'm listen i'm not anti weed but i just think that with any i think there should be moderation yes no i agree like one of the best things i do last year was ari and tom segura and bert kreischer now we did this sober october thing
for a song a song it's a no lose no pot and we had to do fifteen hot yoga classes in the month and i i learned a lot in a month i really did are you different are you different person because of it no it was good to go to get out here that i've got a job yeah i know i have another really now she is forty two twenty bro yeah i'm doing another one on one and we don't i'm going to going to see barry cat scans you can believe that gradually katz is a cat that's gonna be if of interesting day for me with this will was who would just by the pot board of what if it was gonna say stone thought no it's no it's not whether or not you smoke pot it's whether or not you get things done and weather not you write out what you're supposed to do whether or not you actually try to achieve goals whether or not you're actively trying to improve whatever you're doing whether you build cars or make carpet cabinetry it's just about whether or not you
working towards succeeding and improving and i agree listen i agree that i'm not anti pot i'm i should we based on evidence of the people that are around a lot of us we should be anti pot i should be anti pot do i know a lot people that made me sad like i'd run sad him with that how many store and the black probably going to eat on human yeah and i'll be like not doing anything yeah i do anything with your life and you want some we'd go get a job because it's so i see it's me yeah but then you also see like ari who get high all the time and are constantly working or doug benson who is like most functional pot head i've ever met in my life style de he's weird one or snoop dogg yet this is that there are people but there are people that are they are the exceptions not the rule i wonder there's a lot the people on wall street to get high there's a lot of people that are involved in like the tech world that get high a lot and what what people think about it is that looks like everything else man it can be good for you or could
fuck you world up you know i mean moderation i think there's some benefit to it and what the benefit is vulnerability creativity makes you feel vulnerable and makes you re exam things makes you look at me people call paranoia i just think it broadens your your awareness is a stand up you already have a level of vulnerability just going on stage and talk buy things for sure so that's like my sure the some of that i don't i just thought that's my drug does a good drug to me and it's it's definitely not one it's going to ruin your life hopefully yeah let's you tell about planet of the apes joke twitter holla on that darien ambient air in ambia she got that old school yet she got that ambien from the motherland i hope she bounces back but i don't know if she will has anybody bounced back from this new era of fucking hate and anger no one is bounce back i think i don't think like aziz wasn't taken out
well i think it's show was cancelled or anything like that i have a show except the netflix show and he didn't do anything to the point where it was like a crime but a lot of people went after him like that samantha bee lady went after him and she's going hard everybody yeah she's going or whatever but and that's that's what i said well yes sir thing yeah it becomes a stick at a certain point you know it loses a credibility sort of efficiency she means it means well support invoice the problem with going hard on a person is you're only getting one version of what happened you know like it even not talking about going hard on a person who committed a crime you going hard in a person that's involved in an interaction with two people but i i would like to see though is like someone like samantha beta like ask disease to come on her show you wouldn't do that do it now but that's what i'm saying is right that's what we're missing well that would be you which is already attacked it's all entertainment i mean it's like isn't that the whole point of it is pro hurts for him well in the sink in
as he can handle himself in that form i would like to see that i see even that i think those forms are hard to do you know i did uh ben shapiro's podcast that just aired yesterday he is a sunday special thing that he does and is an hour long in every fifteen minutes he stops the conversation doesn't social and why i was sitting there doing i was like i really liked guy i really like talking to him brilliant guy but this is not the best way to stay loose in the have a conference like this cop i got you i guess you this is the best format yes it is kind of conversations that we've had over the past three hours this is the best format could you just talk nothing nothing into apps you there's no sensor this year there's nothing you have ahead of time please don't talk about this and also like its best with friends like you know i care about you know not friend you know we're going to have fun and
no i'm not looking to get you or be weird with you gotcha gotcha podcast i'm trying to have fun with you and we had fun you know and this is like the best format to get to understand people i think what we're missing today in this world in this is this is just an open thought people need more opportunities to be cool with each other and less it take advantage of less the opportunities to attack each other and i see a lot of attacking lately and i don't know if the attack thing is because there have been so many agree geass crimes that need to be corrected like huh every weinstein or like you know fill in the blank with all the other monsters that have been out there it's late i'm hoping that people can you keep texting you earphones on your much that is weird it's different colors all the time it's always changing get that x what happens when you get that hit the x then it just goes to whatever else
i think somebody's listening to our podcast right now and somebody texted my girlfriend and she's like actually just send me a text message right now you better not be married but anyway i'm hoping that it all balances out i hope that it comes back around people just i think that it will you indian just be nice to each other well i mean we simply by example is all it is it's a hard thing we have to lead by example that's why i'm saying these issue is it men as a man we're having out here is we forgot how to be gentleman interflex alien disease situation if he just been a gentleman i don't know what he i don't know why resident obviously what i read the story of he was trying to get with you know they were texting back
fourth and it was like yo yo gallery with the dinner they ended up in this place and it was you know it was like maybe you don't bring a check to you barely know to your place now maybe there should be is different time for sure right if you're a seller because it has to but if you're a guy like that it means that you know if you heard tony talk about women as someone themselves at your time what is supposed to do act like a gentleman is what i'm certain that got affected meaning schilter the excuse shouldn't be is like you know like that's like a man way to say it to would be like you got all these hot chicks like you know one of us ignored these hot chicks yeah maybe you should well lucky you mental here's a guy who had the girl come back to his place she know to her and i should have that's my whole point i should have i should have like started but i my own ego get in the way i let my own like you know in security to be like well this cult really is into me so let me let me go through did not hey just because you can doesn't mean you should let's and with that i think we should
and when is your special june ace showtime one thousand pm that's this weekend friday june eight friday night but i'll also be irvine improv on friday so shall you know we can all be it or you want to come see me there and then show time i'm dying to peer is airing right now on show time episode six will be next sunday before so check me out at eric griffin i love you beautiful weather appreciate beyond those fun enjoy for having me i really appreciate it you do it again do it again you still your own i will you be onto right i'll be on my first guest on air griffin pocket alright yay we did it thank you sponsors thanks to the people at oma mistakes giving you all that yummy meat for father's day
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and the cash apple send five dollars to justin wren's fight for the forgotten charity to build wells for the pygmies in the congo oh alright that is it for today my funky fresh we will be back tomorrow and i will see you then bye
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.