« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1146 - Jeff Garlin

2018-07-25 | 🔗
Jeff Garlin is a comedian, actor, producer, director, and writer.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hello friends what the fuck is up i'm hit not road baby he next dates away mobile are august tenth thumb in kansas city possess nelson tickets left for that and then and the next one is for sale after that there's this a few for vancouver on august twenty fourth and then a few on columbus motherfucking ohio and that's september fourteenth and then the twenty ninth in toronto that's enough information joe rogan dot com you get all that good shit find out what the fuck it up nicely back despite gas brought you buy square space if you need a web i got a solution kids if you thought like manna chemic my own website you should think again because a square space you really can and i mean anyone can they have
easy to use drag and drop user interfaces and designer templates that then the process so streamlined and and and so simple that any normal person i don't care what kind of background you have in terms of computer use do you know how to put a an email with a photograph do not do that do not move some files around on a desktop you not to do that you send someone a photo from your desktop in an email you can make a website drag and drop simple super easy to use and you make a fuckin wicked proof national looking website easily like that powerful e commerce tenacity lets you sell anything online so if you can think about start your a business start ups store we sell stuff you do that easily through scarce square space what my echoes my my tongue not willing to make noises anymore
everything's optimized for mobile read out the box you get a built in search engine optimization factor you have twenty four seven award winning customer support nothing to patch or upgrade ever in its what joe rogan dot com is hosted on if you look at that website the squire space website there so simple it's a great solution free online store when you sign up for low free on always domain name if you sign up for a year i can't say enough good things about it and i can't stress how fucking easy it is to use how simple it is to use and they want to prove that in the way they prove it is by letting try it for free so go to square space dot com for its last joe for a free trial then when you're ready to launch use the offer code joe save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain i'm telling you i would not like you square space is in fact the shit you know what else is the shit stamps dot com lays german stamps
calm allows you to use the u s postal service from your own home it's the east this way to access all the amazing services the post office it never closes you do any time you want you do naked no one gives a fuck just i have to do you gotta stamps dot com you can gone the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in j r e they will hook you up with a free digital scale and a for weak trial so you get this digital scale you where you package's you buy and print official u s postage was our regular computer when our regular printer you take that posted you put on the package you so the male personally drop and often a mail box and you're done it's really that easy you buy in print official you asked postage for any letter any package any class of male using your own computer and printer it so easy so again you go do
stamps outcome click on to my father taught at home page you type in j r e they send you a digital scale hook you up with a for weak trial plus postage and you're after the races and you'll never want to wait live post office again it's a simple easy way to access all the services of the post office bitch and were also are you by the cash f ladies and gentlemen i like when something is not just good like a good product but it does a good deed with that product and this is where the cash app comes in the cash app is the number one number one so number one ranked app in finance and it it lets you do a lot of different things with your money first of all you can pay people yo someone's money could pay back with the cash app you can buy buy and sell bitcoin
buy and sell and you don't have to buy a whole bitcoin either which is how much is it that it's up supplement seven five eight thousand look you buy and sell you goodbyes little as a dollar you have to buy a whole bitcoin you could also deposit your paycheck right into the app or you can order free custom ash car to spend any more you like and with the cash card you have a thing called cash boost its the cash apps latest feature in the boost programme let you get instant discounts every time you wipe your card you get a dollar off every purchase you make coffee shops across the country when you pay cash card you can get fifteen percent off to put lay fifty bucks shake shack and more and there always rolling out new boosts so if you follow cash app on instagram or twitter you could find out what boozer next now here's work it's beautiful when you download the cash app for free where there through the google placed or the app store you use
reward code joe rogan you will get five dollars and ash apple since five dollars to just iran's fight for the forgotten charity our good friend just ran whose but on the pot cast many many times he has a charity that builds wells for the pig meat in the congo and who how many lives this guy has single handedly saved by his tremendous efforts he's been there many times friends many months of the year there is caught malaria three fuckin times doing this me he's a beautiful a bit using person and through the cash app and this programme we ve raised thousands of dollars we ve already built to wells the congo and more being bill it's it's a wonderful programme so dollar the cash out for free user roared joe rogan all one word you get five bucks and five bucks goes to a wicked cause my guest today is jeff garlon least germany might know jeff from probably one of the all time not probably deafening
we want the all time greatest comedies ever curb your enthusiasm he is currently on the gold bergs with me brother brian cowen fucking awesome guy i really love this dude and he's a hilarious deanna comedian to give it up jeff garland the job will gain experience jeffrey low joe i do a man young and handsome you are young and aunts and yes we are if we're not dead what that means thought more jet lag crack and how are you i'm a big ball a wonderful your big ball a big ball fucking you huge ball of wonderful aggressive with that statement i am i am they dont down may we d underfund don't doubt you consumer good to see you too well that's the latest
what is the latest about to start another she's a gull bergs and others the curb acting i want working within the fabulous i count i love working with brian cowen makes me laugh all the times here later whose two o clock i was then i'll see him by three maybe not but a point bring is i dig brian cowen very much he likes you too that's cool com the latest with the standard guerriere iran store lot at the store on occasion i don't do the store that much anymore because i've stopped doing showcase spots for the most part just do i have a regular show every friday night at the improv in the lab do you know in our hour in ten minutes occasionally i do flapper which is a horrible name yet in burbank but little club but great room a great room and i do that
on occasion on sunday night so i do in our going out of the house for fifteen twenty minutes not worth my time does it give when do you like an hour set do you plan your sets out or do you have like some material that you like to be working on it is that why you like the freedom of having an hour or so you can just kind of fuck around if no preparation whatsoever except that may think i'll talk about that tonight but i've no preparation i may bring up a story of told before no idea literally when i step on stage i have no idea what i'm gonna talk about what does help me what done for quite a while now as i come up to a different song every time i come up and then just talk about that song at the story of the making of that saddam hussein that's on what that song means to me that will usually led me to something that's all
the reason i ask you a very unusual style like i've seen you bunch time door very loose very little but it's it's a great things you have the confidence to do that yes like a lot of people have to be like super rigid in their preparation without a doubt you say things set up punch line and the correct order every night i'm only confident in the fact that i'm funny i am confident in any other fact in terms of going on stage that's joint report is the most important and so i go up with the now that no matter what goes down i am funny and we'll be funny but does it good night and are you do on the road at all hardly ever when i do the roads i did london in december that a couple weeks shows weeks couple weeks at a failure there what did you guys are theatre to small coffee it s like five minutes each somethin i don't even know pay attention as they have done that i've done lystra square of
a couple different relations where's good yeah i just gotta and then i got a new york on occasion and perform i use wait everywhere i play everywhere from indianapolis to seattle to miami like an all points and between you now tucson you know exactly like all over i right i've done and i'm i'm fifty six years old i've got to tv shows i develop a bunch of other stuff i'm passionate about might stand up get enough i don't have to earn a living by going on the road which i have had to in the past so i stay home and do my stand up when i can what right energy is the thing it is very nice and i've worked towards that that's a beautiful thing to work towards a thing that does get used that travel oh no it would
the thing that no one understands is the only joy that you can possibly get when you travel is the moment when you're on stage and if that's troublesome or not fun it's a drag its depressing but those moments on stage if their great saw worth it yeah now it's the thing also when you go on the road if you have to do morning radio bands of thank god you're health it it it screws up your time you know what time you got a bad because i like to set i dont worry is much and a consistent basis what time i wake up because that'll automatic be automatic i try consistently to go to bed at the same time every night it's a different approach psychiatrist told me and it has worked wonders for me a psychiatrist told you yeah that's but is everyone always focuses on waking up the same
every day right he said focus on going to bed at the same time every night and that'll be more productive for you and i do that with a sort of a half hour bump to fall asleep too maybe read for a minute whatever but in bad usually by ten i'm never going to a psychiatrist one want to show that i was on i was like the only person on the set that and go to psychiatry like maybe i'm fucked up now by the way you're functioning in the world that's great congratulations i have something i'm trouble functioning in the world has had an end day well it's like i going on stage i'm fearless and i don't even like leaving my house i prefer stay home i love napping the development of an apple if i get smokes amend again taken today i do
transcendental meditation i do all the chill things at home and leave to work i dont like going to parties i like good dinner party because that means i can have an your conversation with some one right but i would just at a party the other night a goodbye party for a friend of mine it was a general this house and i had the worst time i lasted twenty minutes they want people to talk to her comedians there are a lot of you in the chair for us as party but commitments of some people with men funds and are always very settling in iran i wanted no thank you i said my goodbyes to my friend moving to japan i am i said megabytes but out of respect to her that i went but out of reach
back to myself i didn't stay long man bonds and a hard line every time you go i don't belong belong here you don't belong there can't be done now it's bad weather that started happening when the man by man and to me like in a big way a couple years ago sam our and then there was a big drop off for a law does every big draw up exert i don't get it maybe grow you want you if you're gonna where a man but i think either lawyer lie and yet the idea it's ridiculous i was that ass station and studio city and i was seconds away from talking to this dude he had a man bomb that looked like birds nest with taylor with a war
follow me outside and i just went why one has been totally friendly i want to make this a conversation why explain i dont get it i feel like what it is like they're they're letting you know that this is me when i'm out when i'm at home and violent sexy i just undo the letter down i don't know what it is i just relax and rather big it's a bit following and now you're not exactly medical dear do she's ex your duty what is your has ever been mine i like a jew fro type festival happening when i was younger longer curly banana like shoulder length right known angels threat its with it air grows that long only on your head that right weird but i was your honour on your arm undergrown like robber plants whose hair like go for man bonnet go for it
the along here rockers of different rules as our guy last night a bed in a band based player man bun big ball around you know what i'm uncomfortable with the ceo hair cut in a rock band what are you doing with that fuckin button down can serbia has denied dig the band i think playing against type is a big bala delightful now that ain't we differ on this we differ on what he has lived i think group of men like i thought david bowe is banned ten machine that it really dig their music but i love the look of all them wearing the suits with close cropped erewhile bullies so i'd and so undeniably creative that he was allowed to get away with anything i'll do anything you want but but truthfully if you have any sort of confidence you can accept a man but there is right here there is chief bows but that don't you cut his hair short the warmth along here
maybe but whose car john travolta polo there she cut short areas and pressure from the other three actively to march tired of buying shampoo bullshit you're the op keepers ridiculous top rage due to condition their hair and have to leave it in for ten minutes that's a big ball of come on come on brow but for something that some reason why it is ok and banned but it's not ok for comic comic would long like lead zepplin here because you know what happens when a comic does that their whole act becomes about it and it's like dude that's just bore you jackson purdue i do remember some pretty crazy long hair like a band guy lotta material about his air he tells us a lot of it i know i just you know are you so when i was younger i went for the obvious i did a lot of material about having a big head now it is of no interest to me that you couldn't also do like the robber plants
sure thing either i have i have a robber plant shirt we're not here never like open now you know cause nurses do it better or nurses someone nursing on its powder below he wore it i'm one of the separate tours seventies and i for sale on amazon and i bought one it doesn't give off the same by yad different all right but i was one of my mouth sequiturs to tell people our time is you love the nursing industry i just if you are you are you love you love the nursing industry have said that the nurses anywhere they sir they would just chuckle there are now two million other nice he's on we're yet they don't know you're not sequiturs there s laughter nervous laughter he's a certain things are certain looks that came and went and people try to bring back like d member few beers back they were trying to bring back bell bottoms no yes study or work of a failure was bill mary was actually photographed a couple of days ago at a golf course with some
i believe as bell bottom all that's delightful because it so wrong that it's beautiful imperfect more easy to libya picture lydia them ah see there big ball he so pond that dude he's wonderful he is just so fond look at him he's the south carolina i think it's because of his kids that zimbabwe's yeah i think was a family thing he's a abuse on board danes show and boarding interviewed him in this small town where he lives in a while guy just kind hanging be a normal no girlfriend no wife just to speed up i know but you don't know that he doesn't have a girlfriend or sarkozy was talking here i'll show you sacramento that shows timeline he just denham do anymore leave me alone on stopped delightful we're like stay home tonight as america at the end of my shows always the audience for
actually leaving their homes to come see me because i know what an effort that is and i am so appreciative of it so you're just a home body type character yeah well you know what it's like my life life extraordinary so i want to live in ordinary ordinary life as i cannot make sense you know just com it doesnt have downtime ordinary down yellow man do you need ray i pay ass our men and i'm a big show like tonight i'm going to an opening of a movie my friend wrote it in our for it will not just be cool with it like a by no i'm doing why i'm doing it i do it but these are already whose party jeff process by you and i to a dinner party if we had one again i'm done though with the job for us parties definition is alot upon idle i know i love job for us but i am not going to any more of his party's tell him go by myself out of this house i d random put two hands
shoulders tommy love em but i well i'm going to talk about the man but the poor who are you who your friends what that has a man he's a producer brow he says helped me with a project and it was like a produces around the shoulders gonna love you i can't come you're fucking pull parties anymore brain it wasn't even pull party i was a thing somebody when i'm gonna bring my suit on and get in the pool and again the pool with ease two other people i d really noticed man that's unfortunate if it's not a pool parties to get in the pool that's always awkward suffolk i just in belong here you gotta be like a really comfortable person to take off your clothes nobody else has there's a pro naked good for you i'm sorry get it for me i'm all comfort what you're fit the fact that i'm proud of your angry at me now i saw your little first about here you're really
your passions are comedy and fitness that's one thing cs wanting hardly dare bomb to stir can werewolf in london yeah that's the thing in the middle of the day i recognise that i love that movie but that's when he was in trafalgar square yes yes i remember that moment scary i'm not here be in the summer exercising of the trial both were not happy unless i'm napping so we have our ways about us well but his buddies dear father i but i do exercise eight well i ate gluten free i eat dairy free and i eat sugar free that's often but that's good combination and i aspire to be more of a vegetarian but i'm not obsessed with it do you read a new treaty i haven't resonates box on the irish yes some that brian cowen even recommended to me at
i can't think of anymore brian mfa where they want to run counter to recommend kinda holbein i'll tell you what he recommended and they we're good i like every one of those kind of books even if they're not well read nor what have i learned something from my opinion i read a ton that's what i do when i went home i read a lot i listened albums and i read music and i please let us say albums de vigo record play ever rucker player albums ok why one thousand albums robot a thousand holy shit enjoy it give like a room that you go to you i'm going to moving into a new house which will be have a specific room that i will go into too strictly play guitar and listen to analogue yeah a view do you know him around at all i do know henry rounds when are you friends i mean but i do know he's an acquaintance of mine his fascinating guy he's a fascinating good man very getting that do
inspirational guy to inspires me i dig him i didn't be with him at largo dig him big time he's got these crimes is quarter million dollar speakers in this house like there's a speaker room like this this is the room also is all these albums and those those gigantic things other than dude on the right i think as robert kilburn who was the critic for the ella times that so much i think that's robert hellburners pretty you're so henry gets henry who obviously became panic re johnny cash he wrote the great johnny cash book that came out of years goes i saw you dig johnny cash by the pictures on well loved johnny cash dog named johnny cash just died recently unfortunately my granddaughters name is john that those those speakers are fucking crazy legally speakers he's got just new speakers there like eight thousand for apparent i thought i was not the size of that sets ridiculous that's what you wanted
aunt like two thousand and one a space out illegal looking speakers i don't want to go over his head but and i want to ask not really henry come on brow let me call the hours and ought to be that weird guy i'm looking for the day avoids since i know i do not really wanna on them but how many people do think oh no speaker i mean only but that preserve you have to be wealthy your that's where you put your money cook on their yellow one that you just look that that the same speaker except in yellow there are big ball rankers they look like plumbing supplies to look good i don't think they were good i think they would feel mystic again sally real why we get fat that by on camera the guy's name why would get fat and for our body oh yeah ok tonight it's a verse and i learned stuff from both but other stuff about nutrition and stuff and i'm in my
my most i was three twenty well and i am currently in the two forty yes that's my and i'm making transition now to hopefully low two thirds these someone the two twenties and then building up muscle and i'll never be fit like you and i that's i'm not saying that to insult myself in terms of like you know but you this a passion of yours it's not a passionate mine i just a live life at a higher level right and a better lavish one feel good i want to feel great authority so if i can improve delightful the big things cutting carbohydrates most noble fleet far too much browser that merely password me that's where the gluten in the sugar rum and the dairy and i feel good my my body not having those things i react positively my so anything else is ok for me can exercise do
i do policies i gladly this fuckin hard really are young people out his teacher is great i do i swim i work with a trainer i play tennis plank dennis morning there is once again tomorrow morning i'll be planted my tenants teacher play golf which is that fiscal however like a white was at this buying stuff the other day you know the golf start any want the guy very nice guy helping me one tell sell me something that off the bend over to get the ball i go i think they're bending over and is back stretching ma strings really i dont know that benefit i'd get from golf if i didn't it leads bend stone you not bend while that their these things that people have the band but for people will it really bad bans are now it's for lazy people that's why they allowed people so for me it's a matter of pride to bend because i have a bad back publican swinging ants wing yeah i love you back but do a lot of different things i love sports club when i was young
europe play baseball football team play golf or a tennis rather with count disease it tenants freak no i should actually by the way i just started again template tennysons i was a kid i'm actually talk to him about that of where we can play some thing about tennis those it's a lot of like go and left and right left and right and putting weird strains and prejudices unready rear its but it's great for a bone mass ok that's good for biomass that make hence pusher you're pushing rushing off i dig it how do i i'm not going to play competitive with him i'm going to hit with him right cuz he could probably beat me but i also weighs about seventy pounds less than yes so we can move by surprise replying he's very bright he's is he takes us physical fitness very seriously it i'll tell you about it oh yeah listen he gets very serious about half asking everything gets very serious ok you don't
i can never gonna get he's never gonna like come commit to being like up but professional tennis player right we'll get pretty serious about kind of getting in the tennis whenever she who needs the stress death when norm saying it's like a good balance i guess he's i did obsessed about things he gets obsessed about kind of getting anything's then doesn't go like this darted out do we just got through exact you are a follow through fucking mother fucking follow through purchase do as a walk around here and go or look at you you're a fucking specimen you're a specimen just try to stay saying just right do you mean give a girlfriend you married your wife must appreciate that what the physical nest why you're a good man but but being looking over and going my husband's not a fat piece of shit he's up that mother fucker and i'm gonna fucking
brains out tonight to say that now not not around me she should never should start bug in the house you would you as one month and whether or not there are better that's what she says to our friends are you married i can answer i don't appreciate pressure me that's why i can't i can't talk about that that's pretty good transitions healthy things are in flux there are blocking flux festival bad stuff it's bad there's no way there's no one here before i love my wife but i don't wanna go home and i being alone but being alone blows so there's no winning there's no warning i'm a sad young man but i'm really happy has a functioning at a high level on level on rising rising up here i mean i'm a basic adversity had an add on yes
it was a lovely woman lovely woman go down that's what things are going on the road you appreciate peep when you come back out my idea when you with him very create yoga not everybody if there was an everyday staring at each other and we know i don't care who it is keep your best friend we want too much time with somebody else for rare exception right is that bad yet to be terrible we terrible him almost everybody we'll get you know you need to be around variety in terms of like different the liberals variances most by the way i don't stay home because like staying home cause i want to avoid experiences i like experiences and i'll go haven't pray for one i when i deem that experience like jumps party now good heavens i leave but a moment of amazing experience its new and i'm taken it i'll stay dumb accent
yeah well you know what you like as a health if there's six years old man i know you're a man i'm a man i am i'm your man i'm jeff garland here actual lies a man i'm an actual i am aspiring to grow all the time that's what that's my thing to be a wise man i aspire my goal is to be a way eyes met and i'll never reach it not mother be stupid but i'm saying it's always evolving i have a friend and many many years goes at our house and she had a sign that said enlightenment is possible in this lifetime i saw that no woe well that's that's deep bobby levels on and putting you at a higher place than you are i agree with but true enlightenment i'm kind of about cynical i'm more of a critical eye there you go right that's possible nuts and i've never seen it i'm not seen it but what it's like you
i'm not going to deem it impossible because in whom i and as i say saying there's no god that's like made me saying i'll tell you kill can i don't know right and it's also what exactly is enlightenment and by whose standard beta right so maybe if you very low standard for enlightened and here you reach whatever that level is you go i bet it my lifetime look at me like if you are if smokin indigo indica listen great music and haven't fantastic sex after great meal and then some this is not a nice disposed to meditate and sit in a roman and then you know be mindful came about fuck you how about a big ball of fire by the way can we make that happen for me that i smokes america listen some music have some great sex after a great meal arrange that this can be done so that it can be a garland it should be done
for tony says to me your jeff garland tony who headscarf yeah yeah it's is right well i i tend to be confident i committed skills we should add a funny but outside of that i am not lacking in competence but leaving my houses like i said quite that's what i'm saying is like by whose definition is enlightenment is like say if you want to go to a concert you you wanted to go to a great movie wouldn't lie person enjoy a great movie i went like my version of an enlightened person would in fact enjoy great movie i i've been enlightened the concert i saw james brown when i first got out of prison and i found that that that performance that he gave way the most enlightened performance i had ever seen was this when he was in the car chase was at that prison yet i was the last present he shouted cops because
believe so yeah that one was his someone else used is bathroom right now what happened somebody actually i don't know i know that he got drunk with the cops but maybe it was i don't know there's a bigger budget someone using more worrying is that he had got not a president the idea that james brown was imprisoned i think the maybe i remember in this incorrectly but i think someone used his toilet and then he got mad at that person and shot at something like a shot the law or something i don't remember that story but i assume you're looking at operate up a now so of a five year like he was in a high speed chase they shouted tyres out
amber it this way something in a car though maybe we're pretty sure they shot as tyres news driving around on my rims he had been doing a lot of blower some agitated and didn't mean no normal we're time by james brown is that agitated who gets that he was fucking phenomenon as you use yahoo state chase them up to eighty five miles an hour involve fourteen car sit and stop as he feared for his life you i started now i feel like that that's what started he was he fired off a gun because someone used his toilet by the way a two stage chase i'm guessing you live near the border pilot mars wacky states georgia ochre movies like george florida could bring randy close to each other in georgia florida line is not a ban is right doesn't know wheeler walker make fun it says you ve failed abated pull over that's all but i am appreciate that's why they were pulling over there are going
after whom i might be wrong about that pvc memo confusing him with ok chuck bury was one it was filming people go to the bathroom right i think he'd like to go in the peer like two p m ladys i'm pretty sure interest i'm pretty sure first general when i enjoy greenest brown music i'm not thinking about this thing about it other side in said that restoring really i wouldn't say right from here goes a deadly weapon in a public gathering attempt to flee police driving under the influence of drugs ok he report thirdly storm to the insurance company next to his office waving a shot gun and complaining that strangers were using his bathroom as time reported that drawing rooms for six miles go are you kidding me years later this episode but frame the two thousand fourteen brown bile pick ok
eighty eight i'm guessing that i saw him after this her it was right after that it would be nice be laid eighties early nineties jesus christ you did six years was never while six fucking years how much is sober em up he was on pc piggy they gave him a year for each miley drove rheumatism tcp habited already surface but at times erratic behaviour came to a head in september wow peace he peace a tricky will sang in the present choir betty did shit man you gotta jeff like steel in the car and your fuckin sallies james browned anybody we want to do that's a hell of a story yeah help him right some songs get on up do see when he opened up for the muhammad ali fight with
torments and now you're nunnery holy shit was credible that was incredible incredible he had so much power there was something about a man who cannot zedillo's just power give you the homage power prince wished for that power that kiev will prince it but he had no no way everywhere but prince look yeah our later that i didn't know james brown was ridiculous i can't sing and i looked up to any musical talent tells you know what a waste elvis was dissolved had that power and he didn't use it he added early on and then he could never dance like james brown though if or if he did but it would be different it's a different kind of power if he just took in harness already earnestly this look at his door do you know any such as the pair surveys show you is god damn drama down do splits i don't know he was not human and by the way
he's not a really flexible enough to do a full split and yet is i'll drop and down on state you know he was wearing a turtleneck that night and i said don't cut that baby let's leave a little bit let's put your initials on there i think that that was done in advance of the girls i fucked around poem yet league is china has banned i don't envy those people do you know when you see people with bands torn all those people all those working pieces have to fall into place the latter but god damn what are performance what an ice armor and i saw him a blue my mind it literally bloomer well would interesting to is that you know prince who died of painkillers he died from conventional he blew his hips out dancing like that was though is the thing you know that that apparently is a very common thing my friend maynard maynard keen from tool to central he just recently has hip replaced
and he was doing his he's big into loves to do too and he was having a really hard time doing certain things so i went to a doctor see what's going on with his hip and they like to your concepts like it's just now is a functioning and again on gay eyes that's the hip replacement is one of the most unusual ones in terms of like its ability to restore you back to a fairly normal state other than of right bring committeemen delightful i would have been no there's no get up and by the way when you see someone moving around like that on stage i will bet you every penny i have their not funny callum moves on stage is very funny aid as a move like like i'm going to throw us care i saw upstairs in the in the deluge no the improv upstairs you're the green room thing ok there's a mulder on stage with a thing and i walter to our room where the go funny not funny
i can i can watch and whether the comedies coming to them or whether there are pushing and most of the move around people are pushing it but carry was a move around guy who's always really funny but move around the differ sort of way does their wolf does accept installs stuff like all things but in this sort of way i'm downwards when just stands there in talks and then they're doing something movement it's not good jim carry there was a pause ryan it's part of who we is yeah that's not what i'm talkin about i'm talking about people that just oversell shit by serious physical lies in what should be just pointing the way you say it not even what you're saying the way you say tom cigar calls it dancing
it is the most toxic areas right i'm cigarettes funding is genius he i used to call it english putting like english yes it's all around totally on and answers is better they deserve a divergence boost their moves us is what i'm talking about so jim carrion brian cowen do not have danced right digits are funny and they also move here there's there's a reason for their moving but i don't know any moves commandment and yourself one years ago i remember each time i saw someone mining having sex in pumping here i would just go not funny now it would like it was a sign of like what if there's a bit where you have to mine pumping pumping air there's gotta be a bit pumping air you mean like it's gotta be growing puzzling s some bits what but but who doesn't know what that looks like why do you need to pump maybe there's a reason something unless like threatening someone having a heart attack pumping right
or if there is if the content is about europe physicality that's not dancing right dancing's when you when you put like like when you when you're doing this accentuate what you're what you're saying so screw that we don't need while you ever go to open my nights i used to do i'm up until recently really i would just show up and say can i go up and do ten year now and and what was really fun was when the person who had him didn't know i was now that's great and then i watched as other people explained and it was cool guy didn't have an attitude you know that and i would do my sets and the audience is open might notes are real their terrible latin
together there to see their friends or their rehired or whatever or they been beaten down by the only unfunded shit totally unfounded shit over and over and over again so yes up until about four or five years ago i used to go to open my what what's fascinating about over might nights is you watching people try to figure out how to be funny like you watching people like and you go to the store like tonight and you you go there it's can be a packed house it's all as lee fuckin andrew santini one alley wants are killers and you you're seeing high level comedy and over and see get you into that vibe undergo this is a great place to be but it but on open my night you're seeing this like primordial ooze you saw your english l organism things that you're really shouldn't be saying sometimes
because every now and then a little i exclaimed people get as much state when you start get as much stage damage can without people saying you that's good too that's give good advice but you need to go on stage over and over and over again but dont go on stage at any popular places go on stage at them luckiest could you only learn from when you suck that's a big part of it for sure that's why i was dry jill i've really admired charlie murphy charlie murphy was essentially a famous open micro in well when he started me when he started he'd never done stand a comedy ever and then he was just a really funny actor who was the brother of one of the great comics time you're gonna chapelle show and then start doing stand up and you know charlie would just just fuckin do is go do it an innocent yet some rough sets to when he was famous like really fame sir you think when i did did those things that i didn't eat it plenty a
might niger everybody but but what i had was i was in control of myself yes and it didn't fall apart whereas if you're an amateur would fall apart but it does it doesn't mean i did well but of course i remember one time dice came and to the store this is price for five years and made five years ago and he came up to make us go about you and i was very respectful very nice and i said now i really want to follow you i want to see what that's like i've never followed you please go up there and golfer broke go for fuckin braga how long you know it goes well maybe our great got there for an hour i get nowhere to be i'm gonna watch it and i want you just a fuckin hold nothing back and then i went up after him you know how i did fine didn't do then do fine because i knew how to handle myself my backpack yes the craft of what i know one out but there's
oh following that with what i do which is totally did went and having the audience go this takes it do all new place now did you ever listened to the day the laughter died rubens add with him yeah yeah you fucking phenomenon great it's just eating shit you every two hours he showed up a dangerfield for people i don't know it's literally i will never forget i was starting out i think he did this look this up when that was i want to say it was like one thousand nine hundred and eighty nine one thousand nine hundred and ninety nose after that it was a fairly early it was fairly early as i was very young and run away i might have been then because i was still living in boston nano it might have been then because eighty nine because when i was thinking about me living here now but it was the it came out the first am i lived here while i was living in boston and i was just starting out and there was a great comedian they might donovan who to this day i want to find
guys ever seen in my life and my donovan was laughing to the point where he couldn't breathe at die doing this sat while he was doing fucking stadiums i mean i was doing enormous nassau colosseum what's in the ball twenty thousand people it was a big is convening of all time and he just assizes show up at danger fields in new york city randomly alike on monday and tuesday night doesn't tell anybody is going to be there i mean there's thirteen twenty on the crowd he records to different sets and he has no material i mean fuck it he's making things up as it goes along and people getting angry at him and their walking out and he did a bit about richard nixon about how he eats ass and when he eats ass he does it like richard nixon hills i call on us ass he's doing is richard
an impression of eating asked and for whatever reason might done we thought it was the funniest thing you ever since he was wheezing like couldn't breathe talking about days doing this impression as i was this lake i'm ready for comedians but for the people that were in the audience like a guy gonna blow your about us funny as a glass of milk the guy said that children and left the best things on the album these people like kansas girl you're about its funding is a clause on milk walking off and day shit non limits but that too have them mindset to be at that not just the top of his game but literally the top of stand up ever no one before him had ever sold out madison square art multiple nights in a row the way he did mean guys i've done it since then dane and louie in this been a bunch of guys of little aziz but no one did it like he did then he was the first ever to do
and to do that and then to record these fuckin awful sets and then put it we're gonna fuck it puts guaranteed was rick i idea you think so without a doubt but no no it i was dyson guys and i know record i've had it with all their ideas why married and fight rick reuben thats where gruber next i see it ass never asked him that but that sounds to me like regrouping going let's do this interesting idea but it was such a crazy bold move i remember thinking at the time because i was terrible one thousand nine hundred and eighty nine when i came out i was just like confused like how does one do that one is so confident the release something that son because i had as i was when i was nineteen smee in my girlfriend marta me and martin
we're sitting in my car and i had accept palermo listenin to dice it was just called dice and crying laughing crying life is before it ever done stand up and i never think and while this guy is fuckin somethin like what i would like to add that the amount of power that he had like on stage and these have roars well what the crowd and we're sit in my car laugh and our asses off to the seat this cosette was new see to it that the couple years later he decides i'm just gonna put out some that sucks the comedy died today laughter dire miss gallagher i'm fuckin paper boy hats on the cover no it's out loud mandeb pickaback why and a little picture of him on their sellers i can picture i think or maybe it's big picture of impaired amber about the big picture we should get up oh yes
so but is small in comparison to the actual c d see if we can get jamie let's get a framed copy of that and put it on the wall somewhere released as a problem like generously image i guarantee there's vinyl guarantee let's get final c4 goodbye vinyl look on you very well know fair i didn't get it for years later it was a i've seen of do that at the store i've seen him go up late night the store look at you look at you over there and just start talking share to people like mean what do anywhere wear leaving loves whenever he isn't that actually people's hands zone
big j orison whereas weightlifting gloves in homage zhang worry that doesn't know that that's great you i was trying to get the two of them together in a pot casper scheduling was never really we're not shake and data for forty bucks aims by that should not be afraid wonder bucks i'll go to date he might not have it guarantees a you pay for lunch i'll give you the day the album and we have seen is instagram dyson tramp now it's hilarious it's so random it's like an old the rich world famous guy who does whatever the fuck he was supposed to have had caught your lunch for them a million times i never one those things well i just never outright yeah yeah he is this diagram is him like with gold jim t shirt with crazy sunglasses and he'll do like these little sketches there's so random and weird like him talk to a girl
maybe we should do suddenly in the girls like ok i click on this play this this is like is this is this holiday boring about it we should do that what are you still use the time which is the we are going the other after words egos and he's got another what a follow up we gets mad at him self for not doing anything about it i go to the next video at side had there's another their play this well what a beautiful night her europe
if this is what a beautiful that's what i'm eleanor carriage india there so random the videos i guess the text in that videos like i should have done something was wrong with me its but this is him why did i leave i'm so dumb but this random it's a good is he doing who's this he used to do that at the store he is to have comics do these sketches you ok you're gonna run through the good the door there you gonna knock him over and you gonna go what the fuck ok go in i would do any run into the door and knocked you're the guy over and above what the fuck perfect do it again and you just do this film it was like the chest tape you know i got old one really and then he would edited together himself but it did nothing with it and this is like dicers giant
just fuckin top of the world giant and this is what is due to amuse himself will correct the comics we're just do it jesus christ you too so happy dice is talking to you is the reason why i started doing the road i would just the store all the time was contrary to store one time when the beggars it's funny should do i go here it was you will moreover why these assholes for money because you good fuckin do whatever you one go to the road as i care what did i do the road because i was just doing tv shows and then you know do you do tv shows you kind of trapped in this this is how you
you're living you gotta cannot always be acting and always begun on additions as i care i was because i was making you don't make real money at the story magritte fifteen bucks a set of economic i've spent one year i'd ever collective check and then they ve ever had them again at the store yeah probably i'm guessing the number sets i did pride by twenty five hundred dollars five thousand dollars predominated don't go back to the club yes turn back the clock donated teddy charity by on behalf of the store the now not charity you dont into the charity of the store i don't care good good good donation that sir places a fascinating place really i was gone for seven years and you i've been backfire or for now did sir
it is i love the original room it's incredible the room that's got it go and the main vital if all three i dont there are different the belly rooms ok and the main room it by the main room performing in the main room does not bother me i hate the green room really hated why cocaine piano in the middle of the room and the best piano further behind ring is most those people i don't want to see hey around bacteria they use it i know this is such a negative vibe really i think there's a lot of comedians play there that are a big bullet dead weight oh yeah why but there's a lot only name said babo there's a lot that are joyful and great and i dig and i like watching and my favorite thing to do is laugh at my fellow comedians but on the flip side some people just man there there their presence just depresses me interest feel them
ok maybe do an impression just my met my dodo dodo doo but some really i think can ya out because the thing when i started comedy which is eighty two working through comedians really were a group that stuck together you don't now i think that a register i think for the past i think it's changing in late now these two thousands to wear was every man for himself and a lot of peace but it wasn't like your part of this fraternity it was like you i'm gonna do this you know my thing with competition is go do your thing at the statue more great if i'm additionally in your additional got beat me in the room i don't give a crap but there such a competitiveness and i know that part
why eddie doesn't do spots because eddie murphy eddie murphy because when i was or them i would say one or two you he'd say that the looks that i yet in the vibe that i get from comics snap pleasant know exactly what he was talking about so weird i have the exact opposite feeling comedy now and about this particular like the store and like the comrades that place i don't i don't get a pilot i did a lot of people there but the people who i dig no i dig him right and i am not i don't i don't know anything it's not like i said right of course but there's lots of guys and gals that are great but there plenty of em that like please step away we live in a conversation but this with a friend of mine recently who was living for a while and placed it he hated and new saying that if you're in a place where everyone's negative you really kind of forget the people can be pause without it
so why should i leave the comedy store and at least half of the times play their leaving their driving on feeling like not positive so we're with where where by the i sometimes now arrange the only set that i do at the communist or now is i sometimes close these seven o clock original room show because there's no one after me so if i'm five minutes long no one's giving a crap right and they have already seen the whole show there's no it just and i can do that zip and do it and get the hell out i'll do benefit and in the main rumour like i did what tony show bright till tone we're gonna bring into the full jeff carl bring wanting to bring you in the folds of the nine eleven fold by them i know the nightmare of nice conversations with him but the other people are always there hovering hovers i dont like i don't like a hover over is done over and cut his brute
when you're haven't combines washington if you're not grew up your group is not about making people like a guy don't care whether your people a goal sociable how you do your comedy but of your ultimate go isn't to bring joy into people's lives what's the purpose if it not about the labs enjoy why and so i find here's the thing i don't dig lahti ego running around the store when i'm there and most people i don't like the biggest egos do you think that there are more dream because you're very bush guys and maybe that's where you getting network weird via cable i've been told that before but if i thought that that would be weird so i don't maybe that's because you you're you noticed right i'm i'm not an amount in alcohol but i do know this line from the programme which is what you think of me is none of my business which i love that's a great prospect great perspective
oh what they think of me as none of my business i just know what they're putting out there that's yeah i think sometimes people will look at you and go well here's a guy who's been on in some of the all time greatest television shows ever you know you're you're a god that's got a massive you're you're you're your compliments as a comic and performer very enviable so maybe perhaps they suddenly i like best elm is a generous guy on every level i liked being generous and i like helping comics stick in my hand out do what i can now so i dont feel that i put anything that they should be fearful of out but i think it's their own issue i mean i remember when i was yes but i was starting out i would get real uncomfortable announced around really famous people ability allowances is feels weird runs guy in real life yet that that can well you're not a man here you ve always been very very friendly
that's what i gonna it anymore i like to be a warm papa person who most prefer stay at home and i'm gonna go out if i'm gonna go to the farmers market if i'm gonna go to the store i'm prepared to talk to people take pictures of people be warm to people engage with people because if i dont want that stay home right and so if i'm in a negative bad mood i really well go do my sad and get out but that doesn't happen very often but i'll stay home near that's why downtime right you gotta be able to recharge gotta be able to reach our dynamite do not allow myself that i used to be worked so hard i was reading article yesterday about tom cruise about tom cruises life been restrained jesus christ jeff garland what is going on your phone number a ringer what is it you have something to do a man and a woman dad dad
due to a man and a woman is so that some it's french movie she's rights that although certainly i am i supposed to know the but i actually saying that with you know jack replace piano in the average yes jeffrey not jeff richard i've still got scott he and i feel deferential start looking to managua that singing tonight and the audience most of them go it is a well known for a second which i make fun of them very but in the middle of the show just look at them go sailor johnson lend them more than them and not all john said anything anymore i'm done i tell the audience that i'm a very accomplished french gibberish which is what this but yet a great song so do you have custom ring tones for one from people call now i just have a valley the one with ngos a ringers off which is off now lasting owes us into his buddy
i rose is alive and well buddy guys newest album he's i think about turn eighty two on the negotiating chapters out a new album unjustly i too and it's a bad ass our course it it's he rips it hola mayors but that inspires me to still by every about aging is about relevancy how are you contributing right like carl and no one would hear the george crime was doesn't matter seventy five what everyone does a memories and relevant he's into ireland that's what i aspire to relevancy to control beard to mankind to my art to everything he's all i'll never be like you know someone says who's that old dude i'm not doing anything based on what i'm aspiring to do that there is a right right now because i will be to my best ability relevant that's an interesting perspective because it's really true but something that people don't think about you know it's like like rock stars in particular no one looks at me
jagger ngo wise guy still doing it because when you watch him do you like oh jesus he's still do in haste i don't know he's yes watching them live as ridiculous by the way he really moves no kidding around like at the oldest thirty not least phenomena is ridiculous these seventy seventy something cereal shoot loads in the hot models he had a baby bristling that's my stage name but yeah yeah is it that's my band how do you have that state name that's my bans name i didn't licences so i'll give it back to you my apology bruce springsteen's another one springsteen's sixties right away i saw that i saw that show and i my job was on the floor i could not believe this coordination is broadway show it was one of the british things that are heavily for turns to morrow if jesus christ and he works
i believe twice a day every day does it really does yoga any trains with weights and civic fine mick jagger shitless as a sure there's yeah but i mean like recent right go to tools gotta tools to the right and then go to your time and the rio that's all i know they say right recent see if you can find a recent one there's a lot of pictures of him was close off jesus christ mic provoking shirt on the hot model interesting man there's that's why sadia there's always exception there far right when you got there that's a mother not mick jagger son of a bitch forty with the beard i know that for sure so that's they all this when i seen ok well
either way the guy you crazy what is movements are what's amazing his voice as not i think is still amazing where he moves yes it's blue at it's so beautiful he does a lot of yoga pressure goose work out mick jagger work out cause he's incredibly disciplined apparent and then look up barnaby jones reunion just out of curiosity come and look at em look it up by their takes up yogurt seventy three vega i was already dead i should take up aerial yoga i guess you're doing it on the ground didn't work firm enough there were not enough in it take it to a new level that just ridiculous incredible mick jagger diet and exercise programme live long like a young but if we only
as i was just in thailand and when you go to the bathroom right by the toilet they literally have one of those garden causes that you'd wash car with play with the days those peppers necktie food this kind of the latter that your creating d like this just let's be honest it is not good enough you gonna need a hose down so everybody funny if there's a guy waiting outside the bathroom to explain that to you you walk out he says you you're probably a little confused but toilet paper analogous plan of nothing there is something i put up on my instagram today but a sign that i saw that said please don't pay on the floor and unlike how many people have to be on the floor before you ve put a sign up and says please don't be on the floor
the way of your personal peace on the floor are you really gonna go oh i was going to now i'm not at all i'm stopping the early executives like please don't rape but the truth is about floor paying it p ends up on the floor some does some does for a dude for decades now nothing i read that that's very honest that i read that i agree with some guy said because a smartphones i p sitting down much more than i would like to admit that's a fact which i represent about that here and there was no sit down like wild stake shit and if it doesn't come out just p and i'll read my phone just read stuff you guess no it get it look at people with their phones that's a whole thing he had a problem of funds as a tool no i do not but as a avoiding being in the present i do yeah there addictive their addictive the very addictive and by the way i gotta be honest
i don't remember the lash out were somebody didn't pull out there from the last show ones when we worked understand i'm pierre someone even if it's one person right i can't even remember somebody not doing that and that's the alt that so disrespectful one of things i did before my last netflix special that i filmed in april was i am one on tour for three months where you had to use those phone back did those yonder bags there a giant fucking pain in the ass above away i pay a lot at largo and i would just make an announcement and that if someone does you could come out i mean some people just feel a gay but i gotta just answer this text yea about just gotta do this but i a big family is about but my responses yeah yeah but i'll see you later yeah there's a definition but where has is that it's a big pay me ass those yonder back but the show was like ten percent better because no one had to
and you sit there and you would actually be connected to the show people a durable border forgot a focal point mood would have about this what forgot attacks come limits i characters name and i have one you'll have a name for the care oh i m not alone that stand toby toby ok told obi this toby we ve got a telephone call company are gonna leave the show to answer the phone doubly which buyers caribbean movie is your favorite for more focused huge identifying and one of the reasons why did it because because shipping was tell me how much enjoys it and hannibal hannibal handlebars tell me how much enjoy using those back to but another reason was this woman complained that when she went to my new year show that some girl behind her maid to separate phone calls and was saying happy new year to people during the show during a show she's like this stupid fucking bitch was making
phone calls while the show was going the way i've i've been behind in front of next to that person that's a crazy thing to do me your anna performance alive performance in your calling people in talking them or even answering the phone and talking on the phone but i think if you have signed with a stern language saying you'll be no pain on the floor broke out but i gotta be i really respect my audience and i really think that that would eliminate the handful of people that would be duty near most because i plant life go a lot at largo they make the announcement and i have i have now first seen anyone during my show my those exceptional that's an exceptional place yet but but you can create an exceptional i guess in your audience with by respecting that i certainly agree like it's like you know when i go someplace then what will stamp on my hands i just go no no no no now we know stamps on my ass the dormant
usually says let ok really we do not look i don't really drink alcohol so but but like if i go to the barn order drink the guy's gonna look for my stamp point being as fuck all that i gotta have respect for beautiful bicycle festival is likely to misleading also when you go to the bathroom and they the sinks mind sinks where its and says your aunt even though it doesn't always do it but man those those ones are you push down and they get ten seconds that so disrespectful wrong wrong wrong really wrong to mankind your bothers me what's really wave your hand nothing and it gives you a tiny little strip a paper will stingy asked he's a paper drier hand away but the second gimme a real fucking piece of pay low at any rate does powerful new blow ones now there's no good i dig him there was an article that i tweeted about those things what has promised like shit dust in the air for people with syria by by the right
not a promise and the shit does so you're saying people take a dump why so weight and then don't go to the same to wash their hands they just go straight for the dry or think as its fun and let's spread the shut around the thing is with that when you hit that drier dust from that the wind kick set up this science can enjoy science is too much for me to think that we must promote a thick listen man i did know research i just posted an article that i read that has it those things are really unhygienic and then somebody goes a if joe posted and it must be look as he did his risa could be very click baby right they just got yes some bullshit some bullshit some guy bob was a doctor i'm tellin ya their shit there that might character of bob was an angry doctor don't shoot me am i right toby shit dust yeah yeah yeah i was on the phone have time time watchman
hand dryers sucking fecal bacteria and blood all over your hands study fancy brow our thoughts go joy so i will not be using them anymore i'll issues the brow drier and when i touch the thing to have the towel come down i know that that's very clean yes now no no that's not but at least not belarus noble but just set up like this way there's no women no winning nobody you gonna take a dump in public there's no one well there's also the issue of like becoming some o person whose fuckin completely crazy sports peril all over their body everywhere the goats are afraid of everything they touch and then they don't build up immunity that's a giant issue with with i got going any people who in an audition won't shaken actors hand because they ve got that's not my dear friends with how we and now the how it doesnt touch you dont you don't even bang knuckles anymore whose bang
for a while and when you do knuckles anymore he's got worse since business he's a good man he's a very good man i really like that guy lie i did but i want to hug i'm gonna go commitment to give me a kiss a website where you can imagine what are you notice you re such a nice man he's a good man he's a very good guy but i when we get over that because i think it's insane not gonna happen by not people i work with a moment does make any sense to want to change joe with you i don't know all your own psychiatrist joy to change you're not going to change and that's with addiction with anything if you don't want to do it nobody try the way when it comes to addiction or behaviour like always logic does not enter right you can present your logical cases to all those different types of people doesn't matter they got a one
well he he go so far as it he puts down a trail of paper towels in his hotel room never has to stay on the carpet yet and that no this i don't want to know this one i think about how we know tells me i want you to be happy and hotel swamp she's happy once you steps on the paper towel you know what special i loved as a kid how we from maui oh yeah was alerts told me i told us the other ninety goes that we share i laughed really hard at that special well it's because he's very funding that is self critical every funny person i've ever known thinks there's time examining this best response is just thank you yes good response i'm glad you never do men and i feel that we look when people come up to me and they go you're my favorite character and curb your enthusiasm what it really does look him in the angle really really who does all the exposition larry david your pray bread i think you're wrong button every blown
when somebody says that to me i can tell that they mean it but all of them would know the difference because i say thank you to all of them no one lives there that shit people do say stupid shit that did not really mean to they want you to respond to them i'll tell you the battle of fame is weird i learn that when i was at a few that true and i had this moment where fame became clear to me i found myself waiting at valet parking with tony dams and it wasn't like we were even looking at each other or will knock one moment together i really to say hello and not cause i'm a big toe don't i am a fan or any reason it was just the fame factor want to meet it tony dams course not even my kate tony i'm jeff garland prejudiced tony dams and so i thought this is fucked up shut up i say anything he seems very approach
it seems like a very nice fellow button but that is not here when i was a young man i always wished that i was as nice as tony dancer cause when ice see tony dance on taxiing although shows like here we seem so friendly like why and i be nice and friendly when we weird if as you get into show business you found out he was a prick but the truth is i ve never never at a bad thing ever say there was a fist fight with him at the calmly store one night a really i long long time ago i want to say like this before my time start their ninety four so someone said some stupid him somewhere back the day and tony dance was approaching nobody's area really good box he actually took a profile in between taping taxi driver taxi rather when he was first season and between first and second sees a news offer a few months is like fuck i'll have a fight and then is what am i doing actor now is
and that is something got multi with them oil a man with whom parliament when you see someone like that given your fight you know whoever approached him really there were times when i felt like it's just not worth it yeah because you you lose would actually have every person i you lose i don't care if someone calls you and nazi where a kite any bad word just move along the other reaction right leg just some people that would come up do you jeff garland hey why don't you like you fuckin think you're funny because your own caribbean matter ever like maybe once every two three years but you're the continuing the character which is now but some guy who's that we know that toby elder brothers and ass all just math jimbo i said no but but i just have one i don't get into it you know what you think of me none of my business that includes fame of people come up and say things thank you that's the right thing to say yet again
and then you want to say to them sometimes and you know this one could you move along because age stay there they just stay there and its really where there was a due to the convicts were scared the hell out of me he told me how much i meant to him and then he d leave and then he was telling me personal things about him that we're not repeat them because i don't wanna you don't let him run at item but he's there tommy things are going you're really scary individual and i want never have said the words move along but i actually moved along into an area he couldn't enter animal was bind the rope you know by the cars or in the bar in other something to get away any still tried you know
skilled people get crazy you know what bothers me sometimes you'll be in the middle of a serious conversation with some another tat their tellin you somethin like really intimate and some of the goal we're very bad pop up up up up up rubber you like word to tony just tell me suicidal in the middle of a kind of early ass ripping right up in front of a bus and yeah give a fuck no it's it's it's a big bowler wrong it just because really just be respectful unkind anyone it comes out means respect for and i'm going to anyone comes with me as an asshole i'm kind thinking noticed hungarian and ass all digital because they are either you're an asshole you're not you're not but if you have a couple of drinks in you don't know what to say other works the number one rule with someone who's is drunk too much but telling them that their drunk that's good saying hey man you drunk the amen i'd really i don't we talk too drunk people not always it's the it's the only goat
there's no other go to win that situated drive i guess i can do so because whatever it does it really plows into your ego and so i just make the quickest connection and get out it's a good move it's true but i'm appreciative when people come up to me i'm appreciative and i treat them the way if someone i dug specially comedian if i told them i dug them i treat the people the way and the more the warmer and the more interesting the person is the more i give them of myself how does that david handle it he's not bad i'm a big billy do you know about that tax system goes through because it was i saw him become famous you know he was right area he created seinfeld but that still wasn
the pain that he has now so i saw him through curb your enthusiasm become truly iconic so he's head trouble figuring out how to people want to take a picture people you know how do i do it and it's always changing he's never an asshole is really want the greatest common shows of all time thank you on oversight and i have to say the new season we're about to foment act october the storyline maybe my favorite and its really subtle and fun it's like one of those things like a why it's like i think people watching it will feel that their living a fan and after the first one airs i'm happy to come back and talk about it you're wanna mean here just that premise where we're going is delightful i love how each yo gives him sort of carte blanche still i do you not take a couple years off do it the fuck you want like yeah somebody great yeah for larry it's not about the money ralph core it's about can i do another
show that makes us different than men shows in history yeah and he he only wants to do good work and enjoy himself otherwise there's no reason yandah an hp always smart that way there genus there i mean look anything about this the show sopranos fuckin game throw now they are now or how to let us show our show they from what i understand they give lot of notes on their pilots but one should become a series they cannot leave you alone that's amazing in whereas when you're doing a network shower from other pay sources i've heard that the notes never well when i was an anomaly radios the easiest thing to ruin with notes can survive notes comedy cannot because it's like the doing com like you know that the dominoes and if you take one
and just move in a little to the left or the right you're screwing up the whole thing that's very good when i was on his radio we weren't successful and that is when you get the notes we were so my friend lou morton who is one of the writers he would shirt every monday after the reins would come in with a number on it would take a white t shirt and write it and one day came in the numbers had eighty eight i go fuck dude really goes year were eighty eight unlike fuck goddamn known as i remember years right five five years are the point bring is that was an hopefully successful show barely there are rarely may lose the mayor that pretty great now know for sure it's definitely better than being cancelled but the point being is that we're never hit so we always got notes constantly getting notes like we need a gay neighbour we need a black eye we need we neither this we need that we needed
of interest we need a fine watch that show by the way the gay neighbour in the black guy if that was the name of the show i been that's probably good night yes it can gain a guy learned extra gay neighbour and if the problems that there's a lot of sitcoms and i don't want to name names but i watched them and i know they're very very very successful and i watched them and stunned i don't understand it's like their speaking a different language i dont get it either i don't i don't but i watch comedy may i think it my erika i think there's too something going on with tired people know you're gonna something that i notice this is something that recent to that audiences now respond to what they think is supposed to be funny like real comedy fans doug news radio like people doug comedy i think doug news radio people did comedy dig curb do we have other kind of fans to yes
but i find that carmody fans really do get comedy right but everybody likes to say they comedy or they watch comedy and they meant the very sense of humour right so i find there was a show are given example and this one was like the specific and i don't care from slamming it it was these something in the girl in the apartment be near the bitch in something being i was led actress very town did but i watch the show and the rhythms were this is what comedy is it wasn't funny it do a natural vibe to it no reason for me to keep watching it but it was done style that others shows have done since where the it is our comedies done this is the way we spend a line or do situation and i dont know why but it always of involves a lot of that that putting the the the spy
on the ball or what is it dancing in english as it has a lot to do that because even if you watch a lot of nickelodeon shows are disney shows they tend to do that they put the spin on its never funny enough just to have here's the thing about comedy tv comedy i think for the most part you're supposed to be enthralled with the situation by situate so the situation lucy guy into a situation there and you love that lucy dealing with the situation i really i bet in the entire your time lucy ran on they ran on the air that there might have been twelve great jokes that she said in this situation you're laughing on how she deals with the situation is very good and you look at any great comedy and that's where this its larry david deal where the situation yes it's it's so am i by the way what thing larry and i are very proud about with curb your enthusiasm if
about says something funny to the other one cuz we improvise we laugh so these shows you see why people say these lines written by writers and then the audience laughs if it's on stage but yet the actors laugh at one mother raw rises mainly sense so on a lotta levels it's just not right and then there are shows now that i've watched for made five minutes where my i cannot believe how there how terrible they are and yet their successful huge success hugely successful i'll get it yeah when you guys do a show you don't really have like a fool script in terms of the way it was very tight outlined we have seven pages ratline larry is written the story right and in story may be a half dozen things are like he says this or she says that you have to move the story already has restored purposes not cause it's a great giraffe and then i play
at every time differently unless i'm told by the director or one of the producers we have a meeting of like we need to get this across this not come across in i'll make an adjustment but in general i try and do a different every single tat i so crazy in how many takes we do well larry and i just ass he and i alone and seen it we can we can to have a scene done in less than an hour but if there's a bunch of other people could be three hours while in the ideas just like this is what needs to take place we we have to figure out how to get it across the fact that the referendum it is broken and we're gonna have to go by ice and who's gonna the eyes i don't drive by the ice rather than you are just talking it's more in depth that's the story is really there but yes how we approach it and sometimes can change that that's one of the reasons why the show is so good because it seems sore ghana when you guys are talking it is it but that's what i we don't rehearse as a major ursule the gold bars
don't even do a lot of rehearsing but i have to stick to the script if i want to improvise on the goldberg i have to let the producers know not to get permission to let him know this take i'm gonna do something different and i have to let me follow actors now that's it i am already odor adjust to go from two different styles i will i dont know that it's difficult but i find the curve your enthusiasm way way more enjoyable sure but i'm really proud the goldberg just the number one show on tv that families watch together so i'm very proud of that and i get why people dig it it's not my style but when i watch it occasionally i don't watch a very often i get why people dig it i'm not confused the shop right rather than on a mere like these other shows we're talking about i'll be confused as to why their successful why they're on their but other one
i watched a watch modern family i get why people dig it right makes total sense here so it's it's much more enjoyable doing the curving its energy and all that but i still dig the gall birds and i also dig the crew and i did the people i work with i did the writer so it's a very positive wonderful experience i'm lucky amount one of the most popular network comedies amanda as popular alternative comedy has yet to be so lucky dot what by the way i'm grateful i keep on doing told them every dont say lucky so much rises it was a tailor because grateful because i do we have something to do with it but not for me though standpoint ran like i've worked hard i've done this i've done that so i'm just incredibly grateful you're lucky to i think i'm like by the way what if i told you i'm not kidding that duties not me so much that might be the only thing
disagree with them on yeah no shit now lucky is good now roger roger dog daughtry always said be lucky and it's just that means no matter how great you no matter how much you have to do with this or that if you look at it that you're lucky being by being humble is a big bullet the apple the combination of being competent and being humble you can't beat that being aware that you know you could be born in ethiopia you could have been that funny i'm in the middle of nowhere yeah i know to be fine big i'm ego eagle s worries me and by the way i was ignorant another one time to think i can eliminate may go you can't you just gotta recognize it when he recognize it and keep it under control what you say hey man don't major yacu without sums are going to have to do something and as i'm thinking about it what i say yes to this out of an eagle move you know of doubling dynamic yeah yeah i think that's what
the one of the main reasons why actress i so much is to try to keep my body imbalance and into not in terms of the way it looks but so it doesn't get in the way and i think that a lot of your bodies imbalance than that helps your mind oh yeah that helps your soul for shall not it's not vanity thing may now that's about it as do i definitely like looking good while them but that i think that's more of a respecting yourself that's it that's a self respecting to me does deftly that but i think gum how new body which is weird was aware because that's about something that people more people generally love they ain't going to the gym but they go you feel it your best when you're exercising that is amazing that is awesome i wish i'd get out for a week just let me brower for a week i'd always rather nap anything my avenue stand up i'd like over
over napping sometimes eating not as much anymore doesn't make it's not a big thing for me the more so i'd say sex and and end up and stand up and spending time with my my boys that takes precedence over my boys are eighteen twenty two madly in love with them and so that takes president's i rather be with them map yeah by women there another when they were little taking a nap with them i wasn't haven't yeah as a new iron and they relate laying against me goodnight nurse yeah that's the pleasure of having children like having to these people that you love more than you could ever have imagined levin someone more than by the way that's thing like one having a kid there about to have a kin with its wonderment i dont say oh you know because you can't explain it by its truly a thing that you can't exe wayne and you only sound like an idiot when you try going or yours
it is no you can't tell me are you to me and its sole bit much bigger than i ever could have imagined it's a day for one thing that you can ever imagined like you become a different person to this like a litter the does an actual switch that seems to go off and the chain of course away let me just say something because you know people at nine people where for whatever reason that's which doesn't laugh amazed day the most imports in person in their own lives that's why it's weird and it throws me and that somebody i do not want to be friends with now and so people that are bad parents that don't like their kids it's unfair area unfortunate it's a big bowler wrong it's such a it's so sad painful i think there's certain i mean there either has to be levels of sociopath right
love is i think there is to me i don't know anything about the topic we must but you see people people sociopath behaviour yes and yes go oh ok what's also the business that we're into did the best draws them while for sure they want the ice to do a joke about it that the problem with actors is that they have this big hole in their sold at the need to fill up with other people's attention say not me i'm different nuts i'm up here with a microphone right or by the committee and i different than than for the most part then act we get as you also know that to be a great actor you can be dumb as iraq oh yeah he only argues it's the only art for misuse a little take up something something it's the only art form and i know plenty of real intelligent actors but i know some that are so talented and if i could never have a conversation with a might be thrilled
be amazing because they're just so dumb but when the time comes and they said they can become that person they can fall into that role and is holding something wrong with them they could do wayne fishermen has a bit about it he now less you for just mentioning wean family impediment love him so that a pilot with them whaley back in their dead he's gay so fine very views are rock man i've known him since i'm twenty years old i met when i first started doing comedy i why we're from i'm from chicago but i started comedy i'd move deplored or with my family south florida from the same little town in protocol plantation florida outside of fort lauderdale we did it together twenty years ago ninety ninety eight a thing it was something that was his last
right but love observed he had a bill that he was doing on stage once about actors in groundwater stage dude you put it you said it the way you said that you said the rat because like also he's free right does he just doesn't have notoriety he's not worried about running into these people that he talked shit about onstage sea can be free it's like he was like it's not normal to be able to cry on cue she's like yes you can cry on cue guide cuz you're fucking broken is something wrong with you by the way that's another change in the world of stand up the number of people who still and started from the comedy boom when people were getting set comes yeah actors saw this and they went oh if i do stand up i'll be discovered yes and
so that's brought a lot of people that are truly comedians to carmody here which i can spot and there was a dude its bottom oh oh oh my god yes there was a good land battery who was actually funding and he was actually good and he said if i don't have a second i'm quitting at by next year and he didn't any quit i remember his name who got i tell you off there talk about an outline for no so but the point being is is that if you're really a comedian it is so part of your dna is so part of who you are like it's not who i am no comedians it's part of who we are on a deep deep level the passion and hearing the comedians truly have four comedy and that's why i look get up
comedians as my brothers and sisters of you're dealing with ego if you're dealing with your act are you trying to get famous if you're dealing with the competition that i got no part of you when you look at me you go jeff garlin no choice but to be a comedian then you're taking on the same wavelength as me because i have no choice i have to be a comedian here's some people get very very resentful those actors like resentful of em there's plenty of room and i remember some famous actors trying stand up you know if not i would try and end the eighties like i remember wishest what's her name she was shown young oh yeah yeah she was coming into the improv an irony i'm trying to do and stand up was but hers was full of shit so i was the only one they're doing to help her everyone bent over backwards but he wasn't sincere and she did it for five minutes but they like being
a famous woman is beautiful yeah now but the point being is that people forgot about anyone can do whatever they want but do me a favor if you're going down that path don't screw me with your negative shit he's she's an interesting ass a writer whole article about her and fame and her struggles with it and you know you people forget she was in the original blade runner she was phenomenal actor so beautiful stunning stunning so good to mean just so i also georgia probably was a variant urgent woman and there were flaws in her life and flaws in being an actress and thought by the way being in the public eye is not especially now with social media is the opposite of a walk in the park new you are i am not entitled to any privacy not entitled any alone moment right i'm walking in a part i'm not and that saves me to look at it that way
yeah that i'm not entitled to it because if i want to be alone i'm all day my living room reminiscent my back yard and look up at the trees and the breeze man i can't see the breeze by computer breeze but the point being is there there that worlds of any privacy for you in the public eye gone and you know when i met like a restaurant or the airport in the thames e people come with a microphone say a word why help themselves that crap then they turn off the mike and they know that at this point out and i'm very friendly how you guys don't what's going on and i know some of them but i dont have the right to walk through the airport without them in my face that's part of thing the element of demand ever get out those as you say something stupid people get mad like any border only thing you get out of that is saying something stupid and people get mad at you there's no winning theirs
what time what you're gonna say some the thames ie and people going to watch and go that was oh damn and cyclists possible it certainly possible you can be found that is its iron shod that is such a long shot is alive specifically dmz yeah bourdain got a shitload of death rats when he was at the airport and they said if you were going to cook dinner for tromp and king own what would you serve any said hemlock just a job he's a funny guy something funny and nobody that thing you there's no winning yeah snowing because by the way he could sit at a dinner party right here of someone's offended and their tool right yeah we could say that by the way you can say that in a room full of eleven republicans yes and they will laugh yeah your opening yourself your sale middle world that's right so i say anything you know you can as my comments about things that go on in the world
i know i have us an answer that will not get me in trouble that's the case today with how many rights a euro yourself up to the world not just opening how about never when i went stage was ever in fear of going down a path ere i would say something that was wildly inappropriate not while not an appropriate from the standpoint of taking a risk but just as my sense of humour doesn't go way to use certain words like i don't use that word not guess i'm scared of anything but i saw i saw people who that and do that it's like that like michael richard go richer the permanent nets that by the way example but about you know when you lot of stage and i think it might have been tom papa who is standing in the corner he went up to my went weird crowd having no idea that is low
was over as you know why because by the way i'm ever being furious because certain people that came down at him on the news like the next day or to work people who i had heard say worse things in their stand up and they were talking shit they were talking stuff it's like when someone swimming in a river of shit you know throw shed on them i agree let me use women there shall have a good time you chose to get in the shit you know but i'm not gonna throw shit it's loaded wish how i felt with roseanne you no one roseanne by why do you need to say anything else except she really needs some sort of help and some hours tat not like oh she's a nazi arise a person nano she needs help see that's the whole thing why do i need to women are they weren't steam or any of these fuckers come out i don't have it twitter account because i also now just like dmz how
till i say some the pisses somebody right but there are people and i must say in their names and i want to get into a thing who will come out and go that's not the way to behave or you ll let me like i do i need to say rapers by do i need to say calling a successful accomplish black woman something bad is bad no you don't need my comment all these people twitter think their comments necessary only dad into this and will be part of this dialogue now words virtue signal in itself everybody now that i know the riverside i'm on the right side it's a bunch of what it was that we were going to assume that making the right choice i want people to assume because they're not gonna hear what my choices there's a guy was a journalist who was angry in saying that the lack of below back from other can
indians about lucy gay that that they weren't screaming at how horrible this speaks volumes and other what's that i know what you're talking about that's what speaks volumes about this dude he doesn't know what he's talking by the way should anyone disrespect to woman demand my knowledge never show we'd be sexually forded but women are in an appropriate way no doin i say that we need an and say this is wrong now it is i'm telling you this is then no gaze i know of nothing i know five days of coming out of him now admitting that he did it not all it was crazy like denies guy was accusing all these other communities of being pieces if shit because they are not wrong there and you dont need my pink condemnation of zaire if someone's swimming in a river of shit i do not
to throw shit no it's like what are your requirements as a person when something happens if there's a mass shooting do i need to stand up and say that that is a bad thing right now it's obvious that was about that i do i need to comment on everything that how then we need a common and if that's the case learn action i can do to help right or is it just commenting we're does nothing nothing nothing oh really you're letting us know that's i'm saying these certain individuals and i'm thinking of two and particular who i know and like both of them kids three about their three of them actually can one i don't know is well now but i'll tell you afterward ok always in these situations say the obvious lawyer who wouldn't believe that and i get furious missing one of them's great old friend of mine and just a comment every time and it's like yeah i have a friend does the same thing whose accomplish stand up in its always how do we were this without givens kind
it's always about or anything that has anything to do with women like you we're standing up for women but while i knew i lives in hell right now he lives in hell is marriages shit here literally hides like he's in hell he's in health we have some monster it's amazing it's amazing there but it s an amazing though it is just like they just almost like he's like like when i do i comes difficult down the line which is definitely come like it so i want to have the kind of guy i will have a rubber conversations with my friends drinking coffee hanging out sometime even talk too loud in a coffee shop pays tunnel shit you have event but but i wills another by the way here the one you know the worst possible you could ever hear comedians at the funeral come on guys what comedians are saying to one another it is stop that would be on forgiven forgiven but it's just the way we deal with greece
from those such while its also the inappropriate thing at that time is very funny to someone like you or i very very fine i was sitting right next today fully and we went to the mps and fill hartman had just been murdered and he nominated for an m any loss to this guy from frazier and dave looks over make us the fox guy due to win then great and we're we're like cry and see where drink in words is so bomb doubted is death ruin and dave says that he says like atolls tray faced with the fuck i have to do to win well that's really funny is in the mobile was just about we say the most inappropriate things in tragic moment to make it i left the majors lab but i'm not going to say them on my twitter say them to other people by the way any time i have ever tried something sort of inside with someone not on the inside and terms of comedy it has been
a disaster is out of her every time how about you are you don't even privately like like with a party or something what about with your kids pair your friends are errand the biggest fight of my wife i looked back over the years are when we either went to the principal went to the meeting we went to the open house as something i said yes i have never loved parents gave me one that you couldn't get mad at me for was i convinced our tour of a school that the building was hon i'm working on it that was kind of funny you freaked everybody out including the school officials so yeah inappropriate you're in appropriate jeff garland more big ball of inappropriate have to be but but but it's sort of we get through life we many ideas and ended the thing is we
wired alike we are we share dna yes what we share something where a brother and sister had worked together so member coming off stage this is like a classic one coming up there caroline doing a benefit and not come after waiting to go and stage collins on stage colleague and he's fucking eating i'm thinking this crowd sucks fuck them but i'm gonna go do my best to benefit some guy comes up to me and he says i can't wait to go up i go thanks because this guy i'm gonna go just know you're talking about my brother my brother there is standing up they're doing that the unit complementing me if you're fucking with my brother that's what i told them because it's too true right we are together we experience something but that's what i'm saying there's a uniqueness of specialists and not everybody is part of that everybody is an actor trying that means a lobby for areas a lobby or because their ego there
the singing voice made wasn't good enough i'm just saying its line and by the way the well that i have problems with almost no our true comedians yet aware it's a big brother like like we're really when we're together you know it's all never it's always eagle people and it's always people that are doing it for the wrong reasons and by the way not me sitting and judgment it's me getting what they give me and by the way i dont have conflict with them i let him you know that's a male in a long time ago that's ego to put my shit on them right but i drive home feeling sad so i enjoy doing i've learned to not have complex took took away for what i would disagree with something i billet fuck you but that fuck you doesn't anywhere it's like the same thing is like when something happens in you complain about it on twitter but we are not changing let's talk about change did you read about that girl from sweden from sweden maybe who
a mere playing with the guy who was all sent afghanistan i did read that this morning i have now ribbon more i had the guy was belongs to forded informed now she knew when he gets back he's gonna die he's gonna be murdered this guy that was our out is what is the stock is only read the headline of ireland the whole store so she's on the plane specifically bought a ticket knowing that he's being deported to she didn't operations and activist she's an activist but i dont know what she's done in the past all i know is she refused to sit down and at a certain point there was a soccer team on the flight stood up whether there were other people who said we back but there are also a lot of piece of shit down you're making us late so he's going to die and looked at her putting yourself on the line and she was ass she and the guy who is being deported were finally a score laughable because she did a research and a arrest
i told her that the captain can have them both taken off the plane and take off any time so the the story was that he was being deported because of ice as i do i see i didn't i only read the windings of the rhine jim so but he we're deporting him and he was getting it sent back to afghanistan where he was going to kill us the vienna where time when we will have every time there was a story i was reading about some woman who was devastated because her her daughter in law was being deported and choose a trumps porter and her daughter in law is being been in united states her whole life and being deported and you know just couldn't couldn't believe it couldn't you know came over here is an infant that kind of thing when you're in illegal aliens knowing gives a fuck up you ve been here for thirty years your women alive for thirty two then you get sent back and that's that's a disgrace really is a disgrace
it's a horror but it's a horrible thing and the like will want to choose for transition this young girl young girl believing so strongly that she bought a ticket applying and then wouldn't sit down but what happened while thou but if the guy still get sent back does your care but she's yells teach it did something you did something and maybe you won't know you don't know but that's more than just her putting on her twitter account this is not right wrangle being deported this is so actually doing something behind so i waited i think that doesn't injure somebody else and it can inconvenience as people but nothing more than that what if you had a layover though had a big provide away huge i'm i'm on your side and other from the fields sold out our no i don't care filming ethnic special no film especial i am next next spring
so when you did me down with a gull bergson curb i'm going to do in that book special so a year from now essentially somewhere in the range of the witness summer or less than a year does so when you do that will you change your approach where you have an outline like you do in curbing like roughly know what you're gonna talk about what i have stories and things i've been telling on stage that meat coming out of me so we'll tell all those but i what i'm doing three different locations here now lay and three different shows sega film it here i'm familiar three shows i'm not doing a big theater i mean i i played big theatres but i'd that doesn't help me for a special just the typical come out to the big applause do my deck goodnight every but right now i'm gonna actually tom but can actually directed viewed it was his idea is found
around during the day and then how my day comes into my show that night for a lot but i have some prepared but between three shows i should get enough and hopefully to be in it trusting thing that's what i aspire to do make something worthwhile an interesting as opposed to billing my ago i don't care courageous sumter my friend i am it's too long in coming and that i am i'm well to have been here people ask me like you know i don't really know joe i go but the first chance i get which was the other night when i saw you where was like how can i do the thing i really want to and you're like yeah you know it was it was so simple but people have said to me all the time go on the show and i'm like yeah i well you know but being busy like yourself it's not like that
cartoon or i have a list call joe you know right and so did it we dead at work and i will again any time you won't do it yes it works it was an honour this was great i had a ball i enjoyed it yeah thank you mr dimas ladies and gentlemen thank you thank you jeff garland these gentlemen how racked love that do thank you thank you to the cash app download it for free for the app store or the google play store use the reward code joe rogan and you will receive five dollars and the cash app will send five dollars to justin brands fight for the forgotten charity thank you also to stamps dot com go to stamps dot com click on the mic at the top of the homepage and type in j r e and they will hold you up before we try plus postage and digital scale that stamps dot com and j r and last but not least i think
you d motherfucker where space squares ladies and gentlemen do you need a website i know you do bitch stop procrastinating make making yourself you can do it and you could try for free go to square space dot com forts joe free free trial and then what you ready to launch use the africa joe to save ten percent off your the purchase of a website or domain joe broken down com is a square space site duncan trust dot com was a square space sites doug stand hoped outcome and more and more more some awesome platform right thank you love you pritchett you live
Transcript generated on 2020-03-11.