Joe is joined by Bert Kreischer & Tom Segura to discuss the challenge for Sober October 2.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ladies and gentlemen, how's everybody hey first off my fucking tour is over. Thank you everybody came out to any of the shows. I had a great time. Definitely my favorite tour. Ever fun. It was a lot of work getting it all together, put it together the hour and it airs, tomorrow, night October. The second will be streaming. You can get you want. I hope you enjoy it the best I could do at the time and my goal is always to do better, so my goal now is to do better than this one for the next one, and I think it's better than my last one. I really do. I worked hard at it. I hope you like it. Thank you, everybody thank you, but it came out to Toron toe on Saturday night, damn that was crazy. That was definitely my
the most. The real show I've ever done. It was the biggest crowd ever performed, for it was fucking absolutely massive and the people were amazing. I always say it and I'll say it again. Canada is fucking great. It's great does literally: twenty percent less douche bags. That's my quote I said cuz I mean it in Torano is, without a doubt, one of the best country, one of the best cities, not just in that country, but in the world that's run, is amazing, and then we went out to antler afterwards, Michael Hunter, the guests on the pod. Gas that had been on before who he. He is this amazing restaurant that specializes in wild game and he gets protested by these vegans. They protest and stand in front of the boron and try to tell people not to go in there because their murderers, and so because of that he decided to cut up a deer in front of the window
and when he did that it got and national NEWS and then the vegans ramped up their protest. Then I had him on. And when I had him on the podcast, his his reservations went through the fucking roof. It's sold out months in advance. Now it's crazy, so we went there after the show. What's came down Jeremiah Watkins was there Tony Hinchcliffe Bruce hails from the just for laughs festival. My agent, the lovely powerful Stacy Mark, was there and then we had a fantastic time. It was. It was amazing, the food there sensational US, Thank you thank you to everyone. Antler, thank you, Michael and his all of the farm people that he works with and man, it's just surreal, so good, so everything was amazing, the whole night the whole and again that's the that's the end of this big giant or it could have been a better ending.
Very, very happy, and now we move on this. Podcast is sober October podcast because, as today, no we know booze and a fitness challenge. This is the new thing we got a fitness challenge going on. All the details will be revealed during this wonderful podcasts. The podcast is sponsored by the cash app now. If you've heard me talk about catch up for a very enthusiastic about it, because well it's the number one app in finance, that's on the app store and you can do things with the cash app that you really. I don't think there's another app like it. First of all, there's a thing called the cash card. Now the cash card is a debit card that offers instant rewards that comes with and features that not even a credit card card can offer.
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percent satisfaction, guarantee, go to meundies, dot com, Slash Rogan, that's me, undies dot, com, Slash Rogan and last but not least, we are brought to you by mother, fucking square space. If you've notice I have a new website, it's a beautiful new website and that website was created by square space and you can make a website with square space too, and I mean you, I mean anyone they have got it nailed it used to be extremely difficult to make a website and you're going to fuck it up a few times. If you try enough to go to, Oh Lord HTML, you have to learn how to code nightmare, not anymore square space. Has the entire process boiled down to a perfect blend and what they've done is cry? today. Beautiful, easy to use, drag and drop user interface with phenomenal artistic designer templates
You cannot go wrong. You can make a fucking gorgeous professional website in a minimal amount of time. You can do all sorts of different things that you think about you're thinking of telling products online, like maybe you make some stuff you can make. Those things and sell them. 'cause each website comes with a free online store May Maybe you're announcing an event or a special project, whatever the fuck you're doing, promoting a physical or uh online business Square space is the way to go. They were a sponsor for quite a long time before I decided to shift my website over to them. I just couldn't give any reason why not to the we wanted to get a new website, and I was like let's just fucking, make it ourselves with square space and I'm very happy that I did. They have powerful ecommerce function. That allows you to sell anything online and everything is optimized for mobile right out of the box. They have built in search engine. Optimization free and secure hosting nothing to patch or upgrade ever in twenty four slash, seven award winning customer support an
so confident in what they have to offer. They, let you try it out for free, go to squarespace dot com, Slash Joe for a free trial Then, when you ready to launch use the offer code Joe to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain, you can't go wrong. Folks square space is the shit Is it sober October? Aricia fear is in New York City right now, so he got on the phone with us briefly on speakerphone to shit all over our plans at the end, but will work it out. Bottom line is a belt will be involved. We will have a belt a sober October champ, and it's going to be a good time and no no booze, no pot, no nothing for the entire month of October. Who so with out any further. Do please give it up for the great and powerful Tom Segura and Bert Motherfucking Crusher,
the Joe Rogan experience trying my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, David ceiling. We just did this pretty re. How is it a year ago? I don't know, I don't know it's already October, what no blonde one of them backwards now one of these backwards. These are so good to smell it wo you know everyone was commenting on your blunt rolling tech after the Elon Musk thing control and I know they were like. I knew that and they were like what did he just he can barely roll a blunt I was like in the professional world. It's a pretty real good bond. You can't that's not good smell so good. They taste good too. There's those are phenomenal. They uh I'm a blunt man. I know it's probably bad for your lungs, but there's something about the tobacco gets,
a little high up in the marijuana sort of like spreads you out and it puts you in. New dimension. Yeah! That's that's a good one. I'm get greed after Halloween kids, oh yeah, how high you'll get to after the thirty day. Last year. Last year I did I did comedy. I had no idea what I was talking about. While I was on stage. I was like, oh, my God, just four hundred people in this room right and even know what I'm saying I almost thought of bringing in all my marijuana and booze in here like like, like in the old west. When you turn in your guns and just dumping him on the table 'cause, I have so much marijuana. It's ridiculous. I know it's crazy. I keep a bunch. We got the stack of whiskey over there and then we got another cabinet full in the back. You can get up hard for here in this place, ripped on the
yeah for the day that we were. We did the podcast on the day back yeah. Those are, those are fun ship. Those are so much more fun when you sign Gary in front me when he's sober, I'm such a grouchy dog, he gets like legit angry, like he could joke around about anything when he's high when you tweet. But then, when he's not smoking weed like wait, wait, wait. Are you fucking SIRI? He gets upset you remember when you text it at the three OC, like I don't think you're doing the right classes. Do you. You're crazy? I think you're going to have to do them again. Obviously, I'm fucking joking around me liar. I love you and called you right. He called you upset oh yeah, he was upset. I don't remember we texted or called, but I go ARI. I love you, I'm just joking. I'm sure you do one thing about arias. This is one thing we could say. After all, the welching talking on the nonsense. Ari has rock solid ethics
yeah rock saw yes, he does like if rs is going to do something he does it. So if I'm fucking with him and saying, I don't think you doing it, I don't really mean right right, you're, just kind of your poking at it So if you're out there ari- and you hear this only fucking around- I know you do but he can talking you for the next thirty one days. It's too dangerous. He came. He came to our class for that last one. He was like so so much easier than my class completely questioned how in my class one and we didn't Encino. Yes, he was like this is so easy compared to what I've been doing in New York like it's all easy. If you go easy, I guess it's all how you do it. If you, if you do hot yoga and you go one hundred percent every pose yeah, it's fucking hard man, who's, teaching, yeah, it's not, but this this guy Can I go to yoga have a drinking problem. Legit drinking there's
this guy that I go to yoga with. Who is he's. It seems like he just doesn't ever go one hundred, he sort of just kind of like you know you put you arms above your head. He always does this he's. Never doing this full stretch to extend his palms connect connected when you do that. It's hard, if you just kind of half ass every pose and do this yeah, you can get through a ninety minute, so you're not doing the same thing. If you do, if you do any uh, if you'd like a group training class somewhere, you can see people and there's like that, sixty three year old, lady who's, like doing it with his half she's on her knees. She's like this is hard talking at a normal rate, you're like you're, not you're, not doing it and I got in trouble at my Crossfit class 'cause. I was just getting pissed, growing up every day I was throwing up every single day. I was also drinking a coffee right before it started. So it's throwing up coffee every single day and in there just snapped I go hey the black guys not doing his burpees. The plaque
that's what they said, Joe that's what they said. They go him and we don't talk like that. Have a name I don't know it, but I'm pointing to him he's is burpees of and then Joker made out of it was hey Wendell, the gay guy says I can't you that guy, but you're not doing your fucking perfect. I might do it about to Crossfit. I like the idea that we're doing this in his general heart rate sensor you can sprinkle, then I wanna go to spin class and by the way. That is how, if you want to like get a real bomb in those points, it's about a bump in heartbreak, sustained xcelerated, heart rate, so spin class is going to get you a bunch that that you know I mean it's. It's not like Joe than of you know, he's like a wave better athlete than you, but it doesn't mean that we pretend that doesn't mean we don't want to fight me that he'll automatically beat us because he's in better physical condition. You can actually beat him if you're going to push
all the time. What is it in your brain that makes you do that? 'cause? We just looked at your me. Peas. Do you burn one thousand calories? Is there some sort of? I talk to Pat Mcafee one time he said it's about explosivity, it's about rape and murder. My heads Phil, with that: stopping rapists and stop and murderers and killing child molesters. That's what I think about killing bad people when you workout yeah. That's what I do when I get tired. Tired, I think about like saving someone I care about, I think about stop bring someone is trying to murder someone. I love! That's what I think about. I love your I'm not kidding I think about my second wife. Think about that. I think about protecting people. I care about What's on you'll, if it's hard you'll go telling someone trying to kill me yeah yeah, so you're like pretending yeah, I will have words for that. That's what you gotta do! ' 'cause! That's what that's! What if you think about worst case scenario, you're, tired
and someone's trying to kill someone you care about, and you don't have enough energy to stop them. You think you learned that switch in, like tight window, good crew, yeah Lerner's, martial arts for sure yeah. Yes, you sure yeah yeah, because that's the scariest place you get. Everybody like the scariest place you could be. Is life and death so like it just putting yourself and always wanna lose weight? Ok, good yeah, that's good, but that's not you're, not going to save yourself like you got you gotta put yourself in like animalistic fury, that's how you get it. You gotta put yourself. You gotta, put yourself in this state of just one hundred percent effort. Yeah. I was pegged at like one hundred and eighty one one hundred and seventy seven beats per minute for the last three thousand five hundred and thirty five minutes. That's really! That's really gotta do it. You know
that David Goggins guy got my head with just in breaks the sock yeah I can. I can get there by going just great with it like, Lick you in the mouth. I just want me to be the fourth at five and one slash two hours this where I'm at and is mom doing, and I can I can wrap my head around that I don't know get my head around like I don't know the explicit if any of it, I'm going like I'm going to save my family and then getting, but that might not work for you, but there still could be a different tactic that works for you You know, I mean, like other women, even like bat, going that fucking hard to where your body is complete. Really giving out? There's part of me that goes hey man. What are we doing there, like when I'm working out. I go really hard. Well, you got. You definitely have to protect your health right, the last you want to be doing this and having a heart attack. That's what I've always my fears I go. Is the body yeah easy, but a good way to look at it, but I've been doing that kind of working out forever. That's how I work out yeah but you always go crazy yeah. I go crazy.
I think you have you ever thought about someone who, like really disrespected you right before you left yeah. I mean I read that to All that happens online. You can't read that shit open up might be I've gone to like a moment. You know we like. I wish I would have cracked that dude in the face, and then work right thing for us said no, I have not, and I know I'm definitely know what I want. I know who I'm thinking about them and try it. I don't see any name yeah. Would you run with in order to like just really get yourself into that place. You know you don't have to think about something: that's terrifying and negative. But to me that's like that's the ultimate position that, where you're going to need Energi,
this is so silly that one the best shape I've ever been in is when I met my wife. Has a hundred eighty six pounds to hand read it any type in skinny Burt, I'm still fix. Yeah yeah yeah, I don't know, almost had a six pack animals three pack and I had like side a little little oblique, I'm going for that this year this month, I'm really I'm going hard. This month, I've I've gear, I said to Jade Jamie admitted B, o do with myself everyday, I'm going to fifty air squats and fifty pushups. I was going to one hundred look at that. Look at skinny, Bert, damn dude. I was joking of posing but you're a fucking stud That was when I was in spin class lookout. Skin your face is what your sphere face super skinny after last year, sober October, that photo that you posted that you sent to us look at my skinny face, I'm going. I'm going hard this month. I really am and I'm going to enjoy it last month. I think last time I did it was out of spite. I wanted to everyone. I stop drinking this month, I'm going into it having not drink. A third as much
his last year I mean meaning, like I've, drank three slash four as much does it make sense, and so, but when I was in spin class, we had Bob from the biggest loser was our spin class teacher. Crunch. This is the idea and the great women's Bob, the coach for the biggest loser coach. Intestine, because I never watch that show he's he's, we was amazing. His inspiration was so connect key connected to me so quickly, one time it's before Thanksgiving and I'm looking good, I'm going to go to a wedding, my buddy's wedding and I'm on bike, and he goes alright. Everyone out of the saddle is going to be the saddles for two minutes and I'm like fuck this and then he says. You're going home, I felt like he was talking to me- goes you're going home for Thanksgiving you're, going to see all people in high school all the people that didn't want to have sex with you, do you want them to want to have sex with you this weekend and I was like yeah. He goes then stay out of that fuck. Who saddle stand that saddle and earn your thanksgiving dinner and go out to bars the night before and say I won't fuck you I'm better than you and I'm just going to want them to fuck me. I want him to fuck me damn by think of that Bob. I think in the hard in the
dude that can motivated. So many comedians you know just being is in high school and I'll. Show you guys I'll show. Do you just people that take that take some straight to the death bed till you're still like yeah there still like yeah fucking, Sarah Fucking seventh grade. This is for her yeah. My motivation is, I think, I'm getting to the bottom of it is. I want people to like me. There's a love you I know. I know, but I think it's uh. I do that not healthy way. I think it's pretty speaking of it, thank you, Youtube you to liking. My special is the best compliments I've gotten he worked hard at it, Thank you very much, everyone in secret. I need streaming right now, but Joe Rogan Special STAR drops tomorrow tonight tonight at midnight I saw that do that
trailer is one of the best trailers I've seen for a special in a long time. I worked hard at it. I hope people like it some people going to hate it, but that's normal. I worked at it is harder than anything. I've ever worked on ever for sure this hour, yeah yeah, even went hard on this one. Now I could feeling to go, get done with something that I did the best I could do. I did the best. I could do for sure one hundred percent- I couldn't have done it better, but did any more. The only thing that we can, you could say is, like me, be a little more time like maybe a month or two more time on. Some of the deaths like be never know when that is you know it's like there's a there's, a there's, a sort of like a period where we're developing and then the mature and then their solid, and then you never know like. Are they done or is there like one more tag line that I'm missing here 'cause? You know how like it's always the case. You the film and then right after your done. You have a brand new tagline that makes a bit file times is good stories like the next Saturday at other fucker, the next week I wrote that did that special. The next week come in I'm in Michigan doing some theater Ann.
I have that Alexa bit about trucking Alexa come back. I talk to Alexa like I talk to women and whatever that is in the next week, the better we say the flashlight attachment for Lexus or you shut up the way I want to and fuck him, like God, damn it where the fuck was that God, damn it you're mine, doesn't open up your mind, isn't open up all the way till it's like doesn't have any pressure, so it's like the pressure is gone and you're like oh, I could take it here. I could take it there and you're like I wish. I could think like this before Rick, word, but you can't. You know it's interesting is that we've talked about the after the specials over like I don't have any material, and I don't have anything to think about terrifying, but you always find it like overtime, and then before you know it like wow, I got a new hour yeah, it happens, it happens. It happens quicker, the more you've done it yeah yeah, because you know you can do it. That's one of the sad things about these guys like I was talking to a guy the other day like how long you been doing comedy and he's like seven years ago. How much time do you have like twenty minutes ago? That's fucking ruthlessly unaccepted
terrible, I know, you're lazy. Would you been doing comedy for seven years? You have twenty minutes and out of those twenty minutes ten, you should throw away right, that's crazy, but that's what but they're not doing it enough, you're, not doing it enough, not enough sets in this. You know, it's hard to do an open, mikes and when you're doing open, mikes everyone sucks. So you were going to hero if you have anything, that's remotely humorous and so yeah. But then you, try that remotely humorous stuff and you do it on at the ice house and people like you. Like you, go on between you and you, and you know you do this bullshit they used doing an open mic night and people just not having it's a real sets are so different than Well yeah I mean, if you don't, if you don't get in front of real crowds, and it's not, you know it's not entirely up to you. Obviously, when you're starting out it's hard, what do you mean? What do you mean? Real crowds like a real show, a professional like not just over Michael yeah, those bringer, shows and open my codes,
It's invaluable like even if you give somebody an opportunity to come on your show for them like an up and Comer, because they don't normally have real audiences perform in front of yeah, it's giant for them. It's a wake up, call yeah! Then there like holy shit. This is we'll show yeah people have expectations, they pay money. When you go to one of those open MIKE nights, people are just drunk and everyone's terrible, so you just laughing and basically anything yeah. Now you got it so can kill, but how bad they are. Yeah people are just like slam. Leadership made almost career out of that Peter Chen. This guy. Who is so bad I Chris Maguire was auditioning for Mitzi and Peter Mitzi thought was funny. Missy was so hilarious. She thought it was funny that one of the worst comics in LA don't pull this picture up.
Who is hosting the open mic night really yeah. She thought was funny, but I knew that Aguirre was going to have to audition permits here. So I said fuck that so I called it the stores and I'm hosting. I said I'll- host Open, mic nights. Ok John also hosted the open mic night, just just to keep him from hosting it. That's great. She did that, like. I say for your gas yeah yeah, because the news get up, you know this. You do would be to much to address any of three minutes. The b too much too much chaos to address. I hope so the show is a favor one time and ended up snapping on lady in the audience and ruin the show and they were like thanks. Why did you do 'cause? I arrive. It was a showcase for Montreal and I arrived at the show before it so there's like a seven o'clock thing and then the nine hundred o'clock showcase- and they asked me to that and a lady at the seven hundred o'clock show at the earlier show is in like the front row just yelling out, drunk
and she's older and she's, like yeah tagging, every comics being commenting on and I'm like, I'm just like, so your table like well. At least you know the show's almost over. So the show ends, you know, people leave, we get rice. Our second show I look. She stayed in her seat. I was like you got to be kidding me so. Second show starts and I'm already you're primed. You know like if you watch something that gets you agitated and then yeah, like overreact, yeah, you know like your price, for it. So like I started and is like I said MIKE my first joke and she said I got
you fucking Cunt shut up right and then no one knows you have a history of people in the US. Don't talk to her like that and I'm like you, don't know what she's doing so then it just went really give it up. For this. Guy wants to go to Montreal. It was terribly terribly no, but then she ended up. Leaving her friend came back in one must age goes. Did you call her a cunt like in the show, and I go yeah because that's my friend and I go linear can't too. She leaves and her son comes back. Her son comes bono. Me talk to you for a second, and I was like alright and he looks serious too, and he was like. Did you call my mom? Kant when I go, which one is she this lady over here
that side and I talked to basically the lady who was the friend should I go. She was what is going on. What I go, your friend has been disrupting yelling out people drunk belligerent. She goes. You call her this. You call me that, and I go alright. Well, I'm sorry, I called you that, but I'm not sorry. I called your friend that she is, but she is and she's like you can be nice person. I see it in you, you yeah yeah, as like yeah. I go get your friend out here, no one to hear okay, she's like okay and then her son was like. Thank you. There's a very disrespectful to my mother. I was like okay man we're good. I go back host this disaster that I in the worst train wreck. Well, some people just think
that if you're saying something they disagree with it, they don't think that they need to just like wait it out. I think they could stop you in the middle of the problem. For me in particular to a lot of my bits start off. One way like they look like they're, going to be way more outrageous than they are, and then I turn him around sure, but when starting it off and then you just attack like like you open up the bit, you don't even understand what I'm doing is the whole thing about freedom of speech. In a weird way, I had a joke about pedophilia, and I just started it and the woman this woman, who was a fan of mine. Everything she's goes no and then now it looks like I'm's pro pedophilia, I'm in uh fucking punch line. It looks like I'm in the fucking kids because they don't know how to finish it. Now. Those people shouldn't be allowed. It shows, because they're not even letting not even letting the the the the art form take place yeah, you can crafted something something would like. Let it play out, you can't. Do that mean you just they should just just kick out you just like your fucking up the whole experience for the whole crowd
like a guy like Brian Holtzman, would literally never be able to perform in the audience is filled with people like that. So people like you and I who enjoy him, we would never be able to see him 'cause. His whole act is saying outrageous shit like that that absolutely he doesn't really mean right, but the funny thing is that with it's in the turns right, getting you the for the other funny thing is: is that he supposed to act like he does mean? Yes, what yeah like that people are like always like you know they get super upset about. This thing is like he said this and that yeah, but don't you get that yeah? That's the performance I use of this joke about the second coming project. Do you know the second coming project is on when they first started fucking around with jeans and cloning, though the there was a group of radical Christians that had this idea. I think it might have been bullshit eventually, but what their idea was that
going to take some genetic material from the shroud of Turin and they were going to clone Jesus, was what, if you clone Jesus, and it doesn't come out good, like you know they had to do Dolly the sheep like thirty times until they got it right like what, if it, if you What if you clone jesus- and he comes back handicapped and I had this whole fucked up thing about them following around this Handicap- Jesus instead of turning water into wine, it turns like dog shit into cookies, and so this fucking lady, this lady, goes next subject. And she's sitting in the in the in the front row. So I did the bit to her. I just
looked her in the eyes- and I kept doing it- you know by the PO of Christ that compel you- and I would do it- was a horrible bit we're talking like one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight or some shit like right so is clunky anyway, but she's literal the saying next subject, which is I'm never going to never going to listen to you like what no way that's like when you tell someone shut the fuck up, why would they shut the fuck up no that doesn't work. Nobody just you want them to shut the fuck up. You have under no understanding of the power of persuasion or the fact that other people aren't you like you, not in control of other people. So if you tell someone shut the fuck up like that, doesn't work this is just a poor way of you understand. You don't understand human beings, but you haven't thought this through. You just know what you want your selfish little head, and so you say it to them. This is how most arguments in most fights get started because people don't take into consideration at all the fact that
communicating with another human being has their own set of emotions or own life, their own prob bombs, our own ego, it's true, there's sure fire way any comedy show to hear more of the same. Yeah topic is s like MAX yeah next, subject fox on the internet and that's what I sometimes I prefaced it when I go hey you got like. If you don't like what I'm about to say, is I have a couple of things now that are little. I think too far. I could just come talk to me after the show, don't even do that? Just don't interrupt things. I've had bad people change my mind on but like I had a bit that worked on the ipod test very well, and then I tried it in a club in this black chick came up to me and he said this is really fucked up joke and I was like really super racist or something they're super races like the black Eyed, Crossfit, racist or who I think it might be a worse really. I don't know, I don't know it didn't bother me, but it, but it is lacking in DC, was like I love the show all of it. I just think
honey goes. This is a year ago, and I was like I'm part of like. Is it a bit? That's in the special then? No, no, no, no, no, no know and so uh. Couldn't, and I will it's it's it's all. It's almost like I didn't want. I want to tell it, but I to figure it out to work it out by anyone have to deal with all the fuckin steps. Step two and I was like yeah, I'm like it's, I'm I'm not gonna die on the hill right. I don't know, don't really talk about race much in my acct, so I'm like I don't really going to die on that hill. For that bit, you gotta do with a bit like that You got a look at. It is if you or someone trying to deconstruct it like you're someone who's trying to tack that bit so you for me a bit works best, the very for time. I do it and then, at the end of every every every work in bed, I do around that to like take apart and figure out another way to approach it. I swear, I start fucking it up. It's like the first time I say it. I go poop. Let's hope we can find that that's on the polar opposite know know occasionally I'll say something good, the first time, but most
every time when I say something that seems like a sprout or a seed and then I'm like Meh. Ok, I'm going to. But do you how much time do you spend listening to recordings a lot a lot now I look back to that last special. I did it obsessively and then I got in, but I got into recording and now What I do is, I will bid out if I don't have video like to have video 'cause. I think the video aspect really, let's me know so why things were like. I have this bit where I, I do my eyes a little different and it was killing and I saw it on video and I got to make sure to do that. But for me it said it's almost like, I'm always check trying to chase to get back to that first time I told it right that feel and yeah I like to clip it out and then put chunks of like alright. Here's where the Starbucks bit is here is this This is and then look at the different ones and go. Why did that work better than this one, but but I'm So I've gotten really into editing videos and stuff. So it's a lot. Easier for me than it was when I first started now, I'm just like oh real, quick, sync up audio and because I'll do audio and video different tracks sing come up and then just clip am output
folders audio and video any man? What I do I got a little nerdy about it. I take a eight four six an an audio recorder, it's a it's a zoom recorder, zoom, h, four hundred and I'll. Take my camera put in the back. If I can, or I have, the club run run video, but I'd like to sync up clean audio and clean video. That way, if I do have Bing fun like Hannibal, got on stage with me the night and I was like oh cool all the shit that I could definitely put on. If I want to do the Hannibal, I'd have to run it by him first, but I got real clean audio of it. Well, that's interesting! So you are doing it through the sound board. No, I do it through the H. Four six is like the best it's it's and I have a basically surround sound MIKE on that which ones are called again with each forty six, it's bigger forty six zoom zoom h46 right, my right on that, or is it just the eighty six million eight hundred and sixty eight thousand six hundred and eighty six H4N zoom zoom six audio recorder, and how big is that
it's about the size of it's about the size of this box like a fucking test, they make a looks like they make a zoo in the smaller that I take with me now that fits in my pocket. It's like the size of a lighter, that's really great yeah pulled it up. Let me see what that looks like pull up. So what I like about doing on my phone, though, is that I have them always I mean all the time and then I sync it up in my car on the way to the gig. That's why did the other night to listen on the way their new stuff helps giant on the way out you go like that. I, like the I, like the puzzle, solving aspect of Putin. Other sets. You know I mean we, you go like a man like. Why does this when I do it forth, it kills. But if I do it fifth, it's garbage You know you try to like figure out. Well, maybe this needs punched up. Maybe there should move here. I like doing that. I, like figuring that out yeah there's always those mystery punch lines that you didn't think we're going to punch line and crushes like what the fuck is
what are you laughing at? I don't get it like what happened there too, though the time that you guys are in the back of the room- and I said I just think Anne Frank and Helen Keller- the same person- I didn't think that was funny at all and you're likely something that's a bit and I was like no that was had stand up on the spot on the spending on the spot is the most useful, fucking thing: yeah super which one is I've got the H6. I've got the H4N and then the H1 When is the one that says that take with me the age? Six is the larger one. That's like a tayser looking thing and then, which is when you take with you between one and that's really little. What's a comparison, the sound between h, one and h, six, a big jump in my opinion, yeah yeah same Jamie should be the same. What I also I would it would be it it should be the same microphones. They six just collided to six tracks. That's what the sixes HI logistics inputs! This is probably just one track, maybe it's too it's
Yeah left and right. That's what it's two microphones! Oh interesting, that one is a great! I take that with me and it shows you how much time you have you put a sixty four gigabyte mini sd Jordan and you get like one hundred and eighteen hours of recording. So if you do I go to bed is pretty quick but use lithium batteries. It's not about. So you see if you do it a many as D card, you could take that many sd card and put it if you have a phone like, I just got an android phone. I got this galaxy note. Nine in has a it takes up to one terabyte of storage, holy yeah. Look at the stars. Is it new yeah, but it takes an sd card. Yeah shut the yeah. It takes an sd card. It takes up to one terabyte of storage. It's phenomenal displays phenomena the used to be that they were like way inferior to. I phones, it's not the case anymore.
Fact. I think, like little bigger screens yeah, it's great, pretty pretty to make sense SAM's on the c arm. The the fingerprint reader is instant and as a a pen we could write on the lock screen. So on the lock screen. He could take notes and write on the screen. I haven't written in my joke book and forever. I feel like wow, yeah and then you save those to you know it's there. That's really and then this also works as a remote control. So if you're playing music, if you play music on this thing, while you're playing music, this will start and stop your music for confirming he's gonna stomp out your Iphone. Now I don't know man I'm trying to figure out what to do. I've always had numbers go to that same phone. No, but the other thing about the new I
on the Jamie was telling me is that you can. You can have two different phone numbers. You tell me that now Brian was you two different phone numbers on the new one yeah you can take. It takes like a second cart so say like if you have a this line in a home line, and then you take that sim card out the business line or you disable the business line, and you like fuck, you so say like if you have a phone that only like your best friend your wife have and then the next is like agents of other bullshit. But are you just set up a whole? The call a number for like people? You don't want to have your number, that's good yeah, but you can also do something like that with what is that thing from there's a Google
Royce Bryant? Doesn't Google voice has some like that? You can have a separate for that's that that you can have them re routed to your yeah. I have like a business line kind of thing. Look at this. This thing, who works as a remote control, so check this out, a crank it up. You take pictures of the two right up on it if you're using that, then what thanks a present, yeah box kind of heavy yeah come on about how it is because you get like ten dot. Six written book fits in their bank. That's perfect and charges. It's Bluetooth, nice sink so to your phone, one of those as a burner phone. Well, it's a thousand. Hours. You wouldn't really want is a burner phone, it's kind of even more phone yeah, I'm leaning This is my main phone. I really am. I mean I'm gonna say the thing about the walled garden of iphones. Is you just get used to the ego?
system. Right now my zone is all on my iphone. This thing still sweaty touch it. If you want this one yeah we only drink some to see her murder. Straightens idea he's got to think like that. Just get things. So what on something after someone, you love, so we, let's, let's talk about so for the month. Yeah he's gonna! Think about himself just gotta. Think of that I think rage, I think, of killing coyotes with my bare hands, I think of uh. I think all kinds of crazy I'll, tell you what I'm gonna, I'm not even fucking around I'm going to find my inner voice speaks to me when I need that exclusivity find you dark place, that's easy access for me. So so so would say.
Why is it so? Why is it so difficult to Tom for Tom for sober October? He should take time off of thing about murdered, bear Reese, and he has no, no him, as wife been doing this thing where you guys had like. If you murder somebody would you turn me into the cops going away by her answer. She was like one hundred percent. I was like. Are you out of your fucking mind? She goes well was in an accident, I'm like no. I just told you that I killed somebody. I got the body in the trunk and no one knows she's, like your psycho don't know what you're going to do you're going to kill me next week. I want to kill, you know she's, like the white, you kill this comic. Is he pissed me off? It's like it's. You know yeah killed, somebody that I get yeah, and I'm like just like all that lady a cunt right so like get out of hand shouldn't have to go to jail forever. Here my fucking ace right, you're not going to turn me in she's like oh now, you're unpredictable shoes, you're right or die. That's good! I thought! Don't worry, maybe rather die. You call me if you kill someone, I've got the
double already yeah, I'm taking to the next level. If you come over with the body in the trunk and you gotta in the trunk. I get the shovel and you come out and the body starts to get up out of the trunk him with the shovel make sure he's dead yeah close golf where we going nor gonna go drop. Nevada desert you too much for me to have figuring out of place to bury a body yeah be hard right yeah. I can take you to places guys. This is the conversation I wanted with her and why would she do this without it now man she's, like I got babies now at fucking, all right, whatever yeah anyways. That was just she's like. Why did you kill a guy was like alright? Let's hypothetically, we talked about that on the right of the desert, called you a cunt, so I would kill him. I killed the guy called me. I totally fucked up my coffee over yeah, that's definitely excusable. She said she said if it's somebody like hurt the family, there's something that she was like, then it's one hundred percent, so she goes. But if you're like laying in wait just like premeditated hanging out like stocking people goes dad, I gotta turn you in I'm, like. I still think that's bullshit like
You are my wife. Why? The fuck are you ratting on me? My wife would do the killing for me not to give some broke in our house and no questions asked already know your wife, a gun. Somebody give her the gun and get a life. You think you teller, she yeah should be should be like. Alright gotta go has she's like a nose. Maritime alright guys. We didn't break prepping, for this was your nice to the kids. There you go yeah man. What's crazy. Is that used to be super normal to kill people? What do you mean like in human history two hundred years ago, super norm? the killed somebody yours didn't in a deal yeah now it would be key match in like. How normal, though, where it would be like it wouldn't even be worth bringing up that you killed somebody that day I mean if you go back far enough. It's like yeah people are just stabbed in wait. Wait, there's, there's battles on do think they had their me too movement of of going
tell me about killing people yeah. When did people just like totally stop killing people? I don't to be a movement we're here like guys, my my dad was murdered and no one cares. And your dad was murdered like that. Kinda hurt me too. Isn't this fucking sucks man to like the dark ages, coming out of their own oh dark ages, where they had no free will. When I watch when that game and when they cut his dick off in game of thrones uh, it kicked clicked with the part of me where I went helplessness. The idea that you can, so this isn't fair you're not allowed to do that that helplessness. It gave me a panic attack. Think about that when you're on the treadmill son them my dick all there you go cut in anybody's dick or just think of that feeling just think of those kind of people out there like helplessness and if you're tired, you can get away they when they bound. I watched, I watch the Marco Polo and thing and when they bound
little girls feet. Is that uh the Netflix yet was great? I didn't watch that I watched like one or two up, so it seemed ok. It was crazy, good. Why? Like history, I like anything history, that's why I like, like I used to have on Dan Dan Carlin. Do I love history, and so Marco Polo really knew Genghis Khan, apparently yeah and so I think he knew Gangus one son, I think it's oh yeah you're right yeah. It's click on yeah yeah. I like him a stickler for details so well. The cons. The rain was along time mean they during Genghis Khan's lifetime? They estimated that he killed in his people killed ten percent of the world's population, God killed so many people that change the carbon footprint of the world change? How many people were burning things literally changed it in core samples like when you do a core sample on the earth. The carbon footprint of human beings is less while he was alive because he killed
one out of ten human beings that lived, so he was eco. It was ecofriendly friendly for what he did. Yes is very shit: the weird thing. The Dan Carlin goes over his wrath of the Con Sears. It's like one of the greatest hits history series of all time. I can't recommend it enough. It was like a life changer. I wish I could go back to the day. I found it yeah and you and I I was like seven part series whatever and I'd play it laying in bed falsely wake up enough to go, find out where I left off so good and I have dreams of being a con. I remember having a dream of learning, how to shoot a hole of a page and in the air we had to wait for all well for host off the ground. I had a dream 'cause. I was listening to it sleeping dude. I had the most fun. I'm sorry keep going now go ahead. I had the most active
what was it when you dream in your wake lucid, I the most lucid dream last night now the most lucid dream I walked into this because it- and I was I was on all fours- I go, I'm not awake. I think I'm dreaming. I went. I am dreaming. I said interesting affect crisscross apple sauce with that what a beautiful woman to walk in the closet and a beautiful woman walked in the closet. When we go down well, and I was like yeah- this is a dream: there's no cheating, my wife, some Vietnam. Let's go down on her, I started going down and I was like: where is this leading a fucker I Sasha Fucker, and then I was like oh
yeah we're fucking her, and then I woke up with God. Damn it. I wanted to stay back in it. Shouldn't want to fuck it all that pussy just wasted time just having his clip like a ten inch, Dick big black ten inch, Dick stuck in your throat, my almost drowned. What were you saying about, Dan Carlin Genghis Khan. I don't remember sorry, it's you're, going to access your rage for from you know from one of those mower yeah access, you're raising about how he couldn't and you sucked her dick is on the return trip setting. That's I guess yeah I mean that that I used to do little tricks like that to get myself to work out harder. That's why that's why I have those in my head, the was like when I you know, I just used to always feel like if, if if
worst case scenario happened and you needed energy like how tired are you really? Are you really tired? Are you tired, like I'm tired, I just need to stop or you tired, like I can't survive right now or tired, like with someone I love dearly is in trouble. I can help them and how tired are you in yeah? That's think of that chevron levels, a tired for sure yeah. I'm gonna put those things up every a mother, even so, when those those images of these workouts everyday, I'm doing two a day you're going to work. As I moved to a day like that, yeah me too, I already did mine today. I walked three miles. I'm going to do on that bullshit fucking treadmill that we were Andy Stump sternal! You don't like that dude it just is not enjoyable! 'cause, it's hard, it's hard as flight, so. The whole idea behind it's difficult, we're going for point total right to move right. Well, I mean there was two like what are the other thing that the initial thought I had was like. Last year we had one thousand five hundred and ninety minute hot yoga class
the idea was going to do those two well, the idea for that was that it was difficult but attainable right and you have to be disciplined to do it so now, you're going to do two has today yeah and fifteen men yeah. I'm I'm account the yoga as one as one. Okay, okay, work out today, but and then another I'm doing the fifteen hot yoga classes on top of all the other. What is this number? The one old one thousand five as your cal burned. I don't really that's what I said when you walked in I've, never once Bill Murray thousand hours of work out. So if I take that ours is a lot what's a normal work upper I mean if you're doing intense one. Now I mean actually I got a bunch of them. Locked in here
It says ninety eight percent of my heart in rage attacks it's going to adjust. Yes, it's one. Seventy five yeah it's going to think is because I'm old it just thinks my heart rate doesn't go that high anymore doesn't know, I'm on the juice. Their number start to something. It's two. Twenty minus your age is your max heart rate, okay zone or something like that. Well, that's not real! So yeah, the older you are the lower. Your max's was broken, the it don't work right. I should be dead. This is where it should be. I don't think that's like the max here. Alright, I did it workout couple days ago, sixty three minutes. Seventy two percent effort throughout eight hundred and sixty four calories burn. That's a lot! Eight hundred yeah, that's a good workout yeah and this one that was sixty two minute workout is over so yeah. This is a ninety three minute workout I burned one thousand three hundred calories is this real yeah yeah? You could do that. You can do that, but have to go hog whole hard. This is kickboxing. Oh yeah,
Oh yeah, you did a ninety minute kickboxing we did kickboxing for part of it and then she got a trainer now yeah. Could you how many money bags couple of Netflix special sell out a few theaters, and then I mean yeah, he's not saying more than selling out theaters. I just pre sold sale, sold out everything so now everything when you move into arenas, hello. How was Toronto is it like when you do in ten thousand people, ten thousand six hundred people at the Scotia Bank of the AIR Canada Center, the UFC's back there in December, but there are definitely going to be like one time. I was here alone talking Angela's, and then you see it like filled for events like that and that's where the fucking raptors play. It's so ridiculous. It doesn't seem real, but I gotta say the show felt like as intimate as a set of the store, really not bullshitting,
it was it was fucking nuts like yeah, it was fucking, easy peasy. It was fun I mean it was literally like any other set. I was I was service that I wasn't nervous. I was nervous that I was calm and I do a lot of sets leading up to it. Like when I did, I did you know are constantly do sets, but I did like, I did four sets Thursday night? I did ideally yeah. I did the ice House Wednesday, so I did an hour plus the icehouse. I did three sets on on Tuesday night yeah I mean that's, that's I think, that's the key. Is you just gotta? Do yes, so anyway, yeah you have to just do so. Many that you're you're, just just like working out, you can have any doubt you got to be just in shape.
I say you video. This is. This is shows you how ridiculous the crowd booked, but when your but you're you're, also getting used to arenas, can yeah. You know it's weird. This is your fourth arena. Fourth yeah, maybe fifth, but did did Columbus Vancouver. I did Columbus did Kansas City Kansas City was works outside was weird like it at the theater yeah crazy yeah. I saw a so this is the biggest one. This womans bananas can, while men, don't stress and twelve out of town, are doing tours of the exact same time. Next year and I'm stressing doing theaters one thousand two hundred and twelve hundred in the theater going like fuck it. How do you like It gets normal man after a while, but a couple awhile, you can see it when I get on stage like like like watch when turn the lights on. This is what's really strange.
Look out over the entire audience. That's madness! That is, that's wild men do that upper deck. It doesn't seem real and it just happened and you did This and the same night, bird at the forum. Twenty thousand note bergans, not twenty thousand dollars, nine thousand the western forum, the great western forum, I don't know how it is the thing online said it was? Twenty thousand people are wrong, 'cause deemed over. I said it's nine thousand. I think they just made a mistake, but huge either way it's huge I was thinking last night. I know you. I know that you're not like this. You know you're a little bit like this, but to compare different times of comedy right, compare people, I know only comparing people, but is there ever been a time in comedy where the
as many acts were selling arenas. This many acts were selling theaters and this money after selling out clubs. I don't think so. You will birds sold out Madison Square Garden which is way bigger than that massive square garden. I think, is eighteen thousand and three how about this sub at question is ready to sell four he's already sold out three, they opened up one slash four show at Madison Square Garden, just stop and think about that. That's almost eighty thousand people, that's crazy! That's like a fucking NFL Game stadium suggestions. There never did this time like just look at theater comics, just legit selling like multiple theater shows allies. The Dalea. You can name any of you like You go down the list Aziz there's so many comics selling theaters theaters that I don't think, there's ever believe. Now. There's never been a time like this. Never There's never been a time when this many comics are selling out multiple one thousand seat places and then there's the big first of all this Kevin Hart. Who is the biggest of the big? He sells outfit
fifty thousand a cow Williams, is actually a lot bigger than he is Katt Williams. Oh yeah. I watched it breakfast club. Joking, I'm joking. Look at you. Didn't he got Williams, just slam of pay attention. I was pretty fun. I like that. I like I like tattoo, but he's biggest cabins are bigger, he's the biggest monster so he's like fifty can sell fifty thousand. He sold fifty thousand Philadelphia when he did a special yeah there's only one of him, but you know it was quick close to him that people forget about is Larry. The cable guy goes Larry people with selling out football stadiums, 'cause Josh Wolff was opening for him and Josh Wolff took a picture and showed it to me, and he goes do this was me on stage opening up for. Larry, the cable guy you like yeah yeah, but people don't think about. First of all, Larry the cable guy is like the most humble
plus doing that in like the heartland, so people will just dismiss it because it's not right like in la chaux or rye right. So those two guy, I think I think Kevin Hart- is Numero Uno he's number one yeah and then there's propel could basically do anything. He sells out Mass Chicago concert with the fucking for him, not to form that I would bother with bowl yeah, that's huge. What is that one thousand- I don't know that's like twenty thousand. He has Ampitheatre offers like left and right and then the who maybe like yeah, you do a show. It's like you get like seven hundred thousand, be like I'm going to the bathroom and then just go does that you will because he likes it yeah and likes the intimate shows well he's. Also. I hate to use a term like this. Please of the german artist. Yes, he's just trying to do better work, any better comedy and we evolve. It he's one of the rare guys they could do a special and then the next week will have a new hour. Somehow comes out works. I know mean he just it's supremely dedicated. You know yeah,
So there's him there's Chris Rock still sell out pretty big places. If Louis, came back. I think you could sell out giant places, giant burr cells out everywhere. He wants to Burke and sell out. He sold out Boston, garden, which is like eighteen thousand Wells Fargo Center in Philly. How big is that? Fifteen thousand? That's crazy. We could sell out all those places it's really hard to put in perspective, and I think you guys can understand this, but I mean You are selling out clubs. What like six hundred and seventeen years ago, were you just doing clubs yeah yeah for sure, but when you were when you were still still do 'em when you're selling out just clubs, that's an achievement in this business, I mean to sell out weekends and add shows achievement, so undermined when you go in and you San Jose or you do whatever and you
so everything and then go out. My got like holy like there's too. So it's the possibilities are endless. Yeah. Well, I think it's the internet, it's that's what it is its people and then there's there's like this network of calm it's now that everybody knows about you know if you know about bill, you know about Joey Diaz. You know about you, you know, but you it's like there's this thing going on now, where everyone sort of connected yeah, that's, never existed before and then uh, a lot of these people. Not Sebastian he's one of the rare ones it doesn't, but most these people have Podcast Kevin Hart, doesn't obviously but Kevin's major movies Sebastian actually does well, here's a podcast, wait, Coryell peak reality, I don't even know, but I don't think they. I don't think he can get to it like weekly, but definitely siriusxm? I think it do it specifically for seriously does it whenever you can get to think so. I think you've probably but even in this long is of the three of us, but have you ever known a coming comedy when comics were more friendly
sounds like everyone's on the same team. Yeah yeah. This is a completely different thing. I've talked about this before it's because I really believe it's because the internet, and also because there's no things were fighting for anymore. Like tonight show spots are stupid: shit like that or sit hum auditions, but in the past it was like is three channels, and there was that night show in the Letterman show, and everybody wanted to host the tonight show, but Jay Leno was hosting it forever or Johnny Carson before him, and there was this competition between comics, where they were just cut throat and there's not that anymore. Now, instead, like radio show, radio shows always shit on the other radio shows, always they always so good morning, shows in town this shit on him. It was all shitting on everybody, fucked him, a coward stern was notorious for it yeah. We do the opposite and start wars for ratings yeah, but we do the opposite. We all have successful podcast, but we all have each other on our podcasts were all super friendly
about it. We all promote each other specials. We all we all, hang out together like There's a camaraderie amongst comedians. Now it used to be like might be some camaraderie amongst a couple, but would always go bad. You know that and then there there was never like a bunch of real headliner's trying it out together, like they are now yeah, I mean the even the simplest things like to lead us something funny and I'll. Just put it all talk about on open tabs like half a million use yeah yeah, and then you just go like I mean delete. It might be one of my favorite people to watch these days 'cause. I just watch his instagram. What you doing right, he's ridiculous. I can totally talk about all my open tabs and just share it with everyone and just go: oh great, Bernie Shaw, but like dude, it's been funny shit, see Dean, Delray, sing, yeah. I saw it because you posted that up yeah, it's got so I put that on my instagram is another good example. I put down on my instagram and it's got like seven hundred thousand. You can really sing. Yes, yeah. I need him like he can sing like what
wait a minute. I didn't know you could do that yeah, it's got yeah. Six hundred and seventy thousand dilemma
I told them. I just send me the whole video man. You do you die, go, do your murder, man yeah, and he did. He did call in the night at the tone in and he was so excited, and it was so amazing to see like birds showed up. Everyone was in the
with the room and he came off you like that's my first late as well, and I think Dean's fifty yeah you gotta respect to do. He started stand up like forty six or someone like that. Yeah, it's very it's! Not it's! Not common is not that common to stick with it and keep getting better. At least it'll be on the end of cone with him there in dean, just three comics and that's booking, but there's no celebrity just three comics and D. I only wanted stand up and just like, oh fuck, yeah yeah, That's why I saw someone said it was it felt like the green room with the main room in the comedy store? first look at, let me tell you some might Burr bill. Burr is living is best life right now. He does these that when he does the garden or when he does the forum, they come in with the Adam Comedy JAM and set up a thing and they do a full concert to an empty. Then you, before the show they just do it for themselves. That's awesome! Exactly wanna play the four. Oh bill told me he played from two hundred to six hundred and thirty yeah just play
all day, he said I was exhausted. I was I was worried. I was too tired to this show hilarious, but that's how much funnies haven't gone. So what would you do if you did like? Would you set up a football game and play football yeah? What would you do? Man I mean I would watch one. I would just invite people to come watch a game that means he's. Fucking flying helicopter, yeah, yeah hum drums mean yeah yeah. Now he no! So this is an interesting time, but this is also it shows you that, because of this camaraderie and the art that every he's doing really well. It shows you that that's possible that these the old way looking at things the wrong way. That's just selfish famine thinking way, this is wrong. How high are dj to bring me out to an event like that, though I was doing arena Really I will do that. He does that. I think Chappelle does that. I would call a Russell brought out Mc Shan out on always bring on stage to all his white audience and he freestyled.
Use all the Briggs and all the white people just sat there staring at Russell and Russell. Are you fucking kidding Maine? He brings like old school legends everywhere. Well, he he'll do a gig and then, after a gig he'll go to a club and dj yeah. Well, he can actually use it like a real de Jerry with jet records and scratching and all that stuff. He knows his yeah yeah. He gets mad at those electronic music, guys a call themselves. Djs, that's not a dj. Dj he's goes back but yeah I got to be able to get vinyl yeah. I think through the Kerr, AIDS yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. No, he knows his stuff and he really does well he's another one that sells out he's at that other place. The place that I was in November, hey that this goes bank loan. Yeah he's done that yeah bunch band, so he's another one. Town selling out giant places there's so much of that going on like a seven time doing that to tell yeah at least it's overwhelming, and it really is- and I you know what it is: uh The guy said to me one time, and I think this is what it is. I had a guy come up to me at West Palm.
I was doing new year's Eve drunk as fuck both of us probably were both shirtless. I'm doing I'm doing the greet and he goes he goes. I need to talk to you for like two minutes and already did. I think you wanted to fuck you no get this alot I get I get. I go, I'm good thanks. Why don't I, and so I go there like sir, you gotta move along given two minutes and he's like he's like dude, I'm a fan. Do you know that means of ok, and he goes no? No, no you're, not listen to me when you do well. I get happy he's like it makes me happy to see good things happen to you. I will always be a fan, always support you as soon as he said that I thought so super silly. But I'm before I met you, I was a fan. Look at when you win that one, but Carlos stuff went down. I got I would die behind your back and was like I'm a fan of Joe's a like what he's doing that's c setting up for me and we're wait being a fan of something so fun. We have become a fan, but I think what podcasts have done is allowed you to end
They become intimate with your fans and they support you in a way like people go out and they see a video of dean singing they go. Oh yeah, I'm happy like well happy for him. When you do ten thousand seats, I think there are people go and fuck yeah man, my guys winning. Does that make sense? now. I know what you're saying yeah, I think we're fans of each other too. That's big two. They also people realize like hey. Someone. It doesn't mean that somehow another you're like a lesser person, you know yeah, but I'm sure Bill Burr is a fan of Chappelle. I'm sure, chappells a fan of Chris Rock, like people are fans of other people's art, whereas I think in the past that Wasn't the case it was not was about separate camps, yeah, it's like I'm in this this you're on that site, which is so dumb so dumb, because you can also it's like you know you can like you, can like one type of music the most but still enjoy other music.
I think that when the internet opened up all these possibilities, that's when it happened. I probably seems like it to me: yeah, I think, was podcasting yes, but like pot broadcasting yeah, that is the internet. I'm sorry! I was thinking of Youtube for some reason. But can you dice and Kinison, they hate each other. He said that was the way it worked. I was the bullet hole at the store, the belly room store. That's good SAM Kinison brought a gun and shot the fuck in sign to let dice know that he was going to fucking shoot him. He didn't just pay have gun, he pulled out a gun and shot a fucking sign. It's really crazy yeah they did. They just fix it. A few years ago I was mad when they fix those they should've left. Why would you fix that yeah? It's really crazy, though God start doing that to you, but just checking see pulling guns and guns on Wordpress name shoot in shoot design yeah, but I think those guys were doing coke too, and we
smoke pot? That's true! It's way different. One of greedy of this whole thing. He smoke pot. You want to hug people, you do coke to look for a fight broke. Fuck, you up a hold. You gonna fuck your mouth fuck, your mother, fuck, your mother's mother, I'll, dig up her mother and a fucker bones. Then I'll start a business yeah, it's it's also there was everyone scratching and clawing. There wasn't a lot of opportunities. I think it's the pot too, though I think it's like guys like D's and re, and you and me like there's a different sensibility, there's like A more generous sensibility, I'm big on generosity and I'm big on support. I think you have to do that.
People around you. It does become contagious too yeah. You know when you have it done to you, you want to do it for that, for sure, yeah giant yeah help out opening at help out other comments, as you rise up they'll do the same. They'll do the same for the other guys and you I'm doing that for a start, taking guys with them on the road around yeah, who do we like more than comics, and where would you put you want to hang out with more than two medians you know and like there were the most fun for us to hang out with what we could say. Ridiculous shit and then will laugh at it. We won't like. Well, I don't know why you said that time. You shouldn't call that lady at can't specially not at friend, and then you know. I think you are son, an apology. I mean if I was her son, I woulda clocked you yeah yeah, it's like people, wouldn't think it's funny. Of course, if you were working at Xerox and you
all that people would you know they bring you any reliability, we gotta. Let you go. I gotta. Let you go it's true. I know when those are the worst people to get stuck at a dinner with or something you know, you're like shit yeah, you just torture him, it's the worst yeah I used to feel terrible. When I was around this people, I used to feel like there's something wrong with me. You could yeah, of course, will stuck up super conservative people. I would just think something wrong with Maine. Why do I think this way? Why do I always want to see that inappropriate thing? Yeah? It's like a muscle, twitch go just see how far you can make it horse. You start talking and then the location on a footrace. Looking mother about this asshole I got and then you just see eyes widen in there like. You like to we're not at a seminar right now right and that's. What's bullshit about seminars, yeah, I mean came back in if you are in the world of business see. I really think this is one of the reasons why so many people are
fucked up and so depressed. I think the world of showing to showing up to a place and then having your b Savior limited into this very narrow and rigid parameters all day long, an your livelihood in your success of your face. Family and whether not you can send your kids to a good school all that depended upon whether or not you're willing to play the rules yeah. You have to wear an outfit with a suit at time, because if you don't, you might be unpredictable and you show up with that t shirt and he's got a football shirt on at work. Put the fuck. Is he drunk? What is your crazy he's doing drugs you can't if you live in, join around people that don't just light joins our own people. Yeah. I thought, my goodness. I crash test was stocked by nine billion dollars, crazy yeah, but not really it bounced right back about that was that world, like the guy can't. First of all, we were drinking whiskey. Okay,
Ok, no one has a problem with that which is way more of a hard drug way. More of a crazy drug, then a little puff of a joint weird ring in whiskey? No one cared. We drank whiskey for three hours. No one cared smoked. A little joint. Only thinking inhaled didn't look like it then look like I'm just took eleven. Ninth grader didn't know what to do. Took a little puff. Yeah, you know yeah. New kid in school. Just beats everyone just wants to or I do it too, not bad fascinating. That is crazy. No, you didn't. I mean another layer of wood in California, exam totally totally legal yeah, it's no different than having that class of whiskey. You know California said he could fly with it now, what lax said you could have an ounce of weed with you on an airplane. They said we don't know what the fuck is going to happen when you land somewhere, but you can go to lax with an ounce of weed by the way I looked up private suite after I talk to you super expensive, so expensive. Expensive. How did you know about it? Sam Harris, he told me about it. Yeah yeah,
people. I don't mind going to the airport and saying hi to people. That thing is like so ten thousand dollars a flight, it's pretty. It was round trip yeah. No, it was three thousand dollars. It's with the membership. I thought the membership was it and they're like membership gets you Oh so you pay forty five, be a member and the twenty seven hundred for a domestic flight per flight yeah. For like your own insurance, you know whatever your own meal, zero check in your own tsa yeah, you get! What I owe you room. You hang out. I think it's cool for like like a family vacation or something you know. If you're Chris Pratt, it's definitely makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Summer. A list actor type person should go anywhere yeah if you're Tom Cruise, but he said, but those guys they have to fly private. They do they own their own planes yeah most of them. You know
I think there's some article online about John Travolta's yacht pull up John Travolta's yacht. It's probably got I bet. If you went over that fucking thing with a black light, it would look like it was like a Jackson, Pollock Painting, just pretty fucking splatters Jesus just just got a new yacht everywhere, apparently, The cabin boys place really is lighting up at my place, got five locks on the door. Just got bolts on the inside, I'm outside all the deck and so really worn out here. Yes, you have very weird latex outfits for them to wear yeah, it's the money that that fucking guy must have God, He's got his own jet and he has his own like a jet jet. He is a seven hundred and forty seven yeah, there's a seven hundred and forty seven. Yes, and he has a runway in his house. He has like multiple planes.
Like I get it. The the full story behind patrol to this private jet fleet, as good as arm out the window. Thank you Flies are the window. Fucking commercial in the back room is just it's like a slip and slide with baby oil and solid. Look at that look. How many has got multiple gulfstreams? You know he flew for Qantas as a commercial pilot. He did yes, he actually let him fly he's that good of a pilot that I think he has some sort of commercial standing with Qantas. He is a military jet. Just in case someone calls him a homo fly. Down a that's really. Gonna is mad at him asking to get a hand job at a massage, see yeah. That's it's nice tits news stories about Hashtag Baller holy shit, yeah. That is ball and that's a crazy
hot man. I mean that's like one hundred million dollar yacht right there. Cause money. I mean how much money you make from like pulp fiction here that one way that we about the being a russian spy, his for you know like his like wealthy, like his wealth wealth. Wasn't he he kind of depleted when pulp fiction is like around ninety three yeah, and then that made him so famous in hot again that he he twenty million dollar movie guy for a while that was lasting, face off yeah. All the area is off so he's, but he's doing terrible movies. Now yeah. Is he yeah, as did that Godi movie it's supposed to be? We should probably have a fight companion for God, I heard it was really bad. I've heard it so bad, I'm in you wish to which we should do November rolls around. We get drunk again yeah yeah. Let's get that hammered and watched as God movie it's supposed to be a wretched sack of. Let's do it.
Yeah yeah yeah will do that because we won't be in and do that was the other terrible movie were meaning to do that with. I have it on his head, roar that movie about low, that's right, That's right. There was a movie where a guy who is a lion trainer actually made a movie with lions and a bunch of people that were making the think or play that put the clip with through the clip, and now this do. You have the wrong music planned at this. This is a scene flash trailer from Gadis the music is really the sting song. That's how which piece of shit movie. This is the trailer sucks. Look at. This is like an acting class to let it play out. Oh well will youtube Yankees for the audio look at them
tell the truth, I already there's a look. He just did put the truth. He looks so fake in the world. You thought, ok kill it, so they can't do this. This is so bad. It must be like you can't even do a mobster anymore. It's like it feels like a joke to play. You could do it, but it would have to be like you have to James Gandolfini back to life. I give James and the feeling was alive today. He plays a product moving yeah sure because you believed it right. It's got to be authentic, yeah, you believe it, but he got a b y. It's it's got. Be I mean Scorsese could probably do it again. It's just there's just bunch of people that when you play a young guy- and he just looks like a grown up- Danny's oqo, hey, I really do need to demean the greasers a tire,
but many birds after the sopranos came. Everybody wanted to be italian. It was one of those gross moments in time where all these Italians were like empowered and they were all talking like gumbaz, and they all wanted to fucking get together and have pasta little pumpkin pie in the oven, like ramped it up mozzarella most Adele start doing the hand gestures like the guys come out of that going on, and you know as a person who is legitimately italian. It was disgusting and, like you, fucking apes, what are you doing? Yeah yeah yeah? They ramped it up. You know like greek people, like I'm italian star, attending the he would pretend sure it was. You know there was a time where there was so many auditions for so many fucking movies. That was all about attacking all Italians. This life. On the line to this that we are not only about you played a guy that the
a power line, guy super intense story about life, on the power lines and they're coming down. This is by the way we should somebody. This is probably worse for sure what the fuck, how 'bout Herb cowboy. That's the premise of urban cowboy yeah we worked on. The line will have a devil feature. I thought be a three hour night. Well, we play Gatien will play life on the line. Will sing will have people sync it up? This is what we'll do this mark? Those two mark, those two movies: and so we'll get those on the Netflix and will, after silver, sober October is over, it will get fucking hammered, will bring a five gallon jug Tito's in here it won't click, two movies, and I love it. I love it. I rented a Bruce Willis one to laugh at like I was like this can be a piece of shit and it didn't get it didn't get bad until like twenty five minutes were left was actually this particular movie was this.
I think it's called death wish, which is, I think, it's a movie death wish Bruce wolves, yeah yeah yeah, and it was actually really well done until third act. Then it like fell apart, but I'm watching it like this is going to be a piece of shit and thirty minutes him. I said good Fucking movie It was like that with the snowman. Did you see the snowman? yeah, I was a snowman death wish. Bruce Willis is better than I thought yeah, but that movie got delayed for some reason wanted to delay because of ups mass shootings or something I think so killer yeah something along those lines. Six point four and I'm I am d b I mean the trailer. Was this no man? I got real dog yeah. We talking to a guy me ago. I enjoyed Hudson HAWK Big Post office, good Marlboro. Man was hardly in the monster man. Percent rotten tomatoes to the snowman and spoiler alert. The snowman ends its this guy
is only spoil it. It's so ridiculous. It's so fucking ridiculous. What's it about A serial killer who snowman is Lee, Sing snow Mansas hints and he's cutting off body parts and then arranging 'em in the snow. Michael fast bender is a uh call. The cop who is to solve it, who is Michael Fassbender Guy, is actor Prometheus, see the it takes place abroad. Right, doesn't it takes place, but man wanna, talk negatively about Val Kilmer's performance is so disturbing that it pulls you out immediately is terrible. It when he's going through the stuff and they dubbed his voice, in what in this they had him dub his voice, so they took out his voice. 'cause, he couldn't understand, am I guess, and then they had they dubbed his voice. Aurors would move. I mean it's like it's so bad that it road pulled you out and you like. You definitely should just not in the movie.
Let him get healthy, I think he's doing better. Now, hopefully, no, I think, is, I think, he's going into remission I'll, tell you what man he fuckin Sts stole this show and Wyatt Earp. Remember that now, Kilmer AMA Huckleberry, remember that shit, you name all the heat the doors he was murdered? He was a monster Barris Val Kilmer is a motherfucker. True genius cv get that scene from him with Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, Only in wider the funniest piece of shit he made this ain't. Did you see that and I like the same, and I like the famous superhero movie right now. I was like a spy like I play again. I get in disguise this all my God, kids versus the very end. I have it pulled off. Ok, the audio be pulled up. This is a great fucking scene, and this is a great scene, just the thing about the scene, as you believe believe it.
When I do realizes the wrong guy understand the scene until some recently walked over your great, but so with you our day, I beg to differ so we started the game. We never got to finish people. Can this Youtube yeah? I didn't and they use. This is him The reason the guys could understand whether I was scared. It's 'cause Doc holiday once to die in the gunfight. Yeah 'cause he's dying yeah. He wants to be shot, but also he was killing everybody Doc holiday was a fucking monster. And this guy was wanna, be bad ass. I've never seen this. You never saw this. Are you serious? I, like westerns, hey horses, you have yours and do what he or
then I was never like. This is this? Is all horses, Tom and only time in a way it is. I don't like is that if we I don't like their hats, he resents. I really I'm serious. I don't like any of it. Are you me now, along the best movies, ever not interested because usually they get on a horse, and I don't like their hats mass still bothers me. I like the mustaches. We can sweaty. If they win, we got close, they are to each other. You think we really just did that close to each other and have gunfights oh yeah, done done time, I wouldn't mind doing a gunfight within Tom.
It was an issue in the days you know. For so with us too. Strong doesn't seem as good second time around, maybe in the context of the entire movie. I love these mustaches. They all look like all comics. No Kurt Russell is weird in Camas, make home hand batched ice cream wait a minute are all comics are all comics real anymore. I felt like that does evaporated, as I'm really, I think it's still real
there's, no real. Might one of my favorite things watching all comics go up in the main room. Yeah you see it. You know that you, the kind of get walking shell shocked. They already know that it's not that they're crowd and you could see, I didn't realize what that look was until you just said it yeah I've seen it. Before and I've always been like. This is your first time here and then uh, can see in their eyes and you're, like I'm going to love it, this immigration in the World PAN it's so funny to get more aggressive. You can tell it's like unnatural things. Getting crap be in progress, a mother rest of the Progressive yeah. I remember when all was like thought of as you you were. If you were all you were like soft and progressive and sensitive and kind now alt is right. Like all right, you think of all you think of all right. Yeah like that's all you hear about now, is like alright, which is like
assholes, you think of racism, you think of xenophobia, that's true yeah! I didn't even think about that. But it does you say all most people's mind will definitely go alright now over the last few years, but like in contact in the world of comedy. It actually, oddly, usually implies somebody's probably far to left yeah, but only with us. I think right only with income with audiences. I don't think they even know that expression anymore, I feel like true all universally publicly- has sort of been hijacked by all right or at least that the definition of it, the men hijacked by all right people. That's true! That is true. Grant I'm I'd. I don't yeah. I guess so am I I I I was just soon there's going to be an all left right. Well, I think there was, but I think the problem is
once you say all now. Everybody just thinks right see I would've automatically turned out already left out. Left sounds made up what are they alternative to the right of it? It's the ideas, this young right, so ok, but assholes. So the right, if you think of conservative, you would think of like Lindsey, Graham you think of like people, you're, probably races where they keep it under wraps slippery shoes and Lindsey Graham, was a chick. Until this week I literally went that's a dude. I thought it was a six million dollar woman he's got the southern accent that you can't tell if he's gay or not- You know it's the same thing. Well, I do declare play some yeah through the whole yeah hearings. Whole thing so strange. You gotta, you gotta, keep your head down. If you do not agree with the like, I I just I just tweeted
That can you imagine defending your high school yearbook. That's all that we did. I saw that and it was a fucking shit show. I saw that and I was like I was like I'm fucking out yeah. You can't people can't recognize that you're, not in Porta this guy, you not in support of anything like, but it's it's a real thing. Your search of signal, simply so that people know I'm on your team member that I'm just I'm just a fucking comedian, we're just making an observation early. Can you imagine defending your six year high school yearbook? Do you guys remember, remember Hicks's bit about Clarence Thomas no Now, I'm sure I've heard it Hicks had a bit about Clarence Tom. When they were they were trying to bring him into Supreme Court. I wish I could remember exactly how the bit went, but it's a great bit, but it But his porn collection like mister here, oh yes, yes, yeah, you're, familiar at all with Clam lappers volume, one through dandy, all of 'em
all of 'em yeah. It was just like this funny bit, but examining Was there any better way? Lindsey? Graham? What do you see I after he left where they decided? They voted on that they're going to well the voters. It's gonna move to the floor, but they decide like you know, we'll try to do this extra week of the FBI investigation and then he goes somebody's going to have to explain this to Trump. I guess that'll be me like to the press. That's basically, it is a not so subtle way being like dumb, dumb doesn't get it so Trump did one of the fucking reporters today, one of the female reporters said he goes. He pointed to a woman and he said, go ahead and he goes she can't she which she can't believe. I called on her end. She goes well, I didn't think goes. Yeah you don't think yeah. I got to get that.
I'm sorry. She was. I'm sorry, sir, like listen, this was this. Was this you never do. Was he says success? Wasn't he can't help himself he's crazy, yeah G shock that a picture that I had a state of shock? I'm not thinking! That's okay! I know you know. Thank you. You never do. I'm sorry, no go ahead. What that's our president? That's such a call Crazy thing to say to someone yeah, I know I know you're, not thinking you never do. You must be someone. That's written, really negative things about him. He knows you know, he's got the hit list and every all all it is. Is that piece of yeah, yeah yeah, of course it's all the whole things Maggie. He keeps a record here. They have records of you know anyone who slide m anyone, who's written anything bad said anything for sure. Man see, I'm I'm not a confrontational online conversation. So part there's part of me that goes like I always,
but I wish Kim Jong own would be a fan, so I could go over and party with him for a week what the fuck is wrong with you don't think that way. I know you don't think that way, yeah loose dictators in party wooden, bro yeah! You want to party with him. I would really yeah yeah. I like Fidel cash. It would've been cool, kill him and Dennis Robin. If you went over there parted with him and then just like save the world that no like the next morning, when you're, like I had the best time he's like send him to a labor camp just like yeah, yeah fuck. You want to lose some weight. How about? I give you one grain of rice at day, man that would be fun. You drink piss, my piss! That's it! You wanna stay hydrated, here's a jug! This. I guess I'm the only one that thinks that way: yeah yeah yeah now wants to go party with the time with the fucking, serious ruthless dictator you get. You get offered a private gig there like hey man, it's it's in Pyongyang yeah
seems we gonna fly you private. Are we going to pay it before Eric? I need a little bit up front. I think maybe deposit flight private. It's going to be really amazing. Mill dollar super private. You know what flying privates like sitting down So awesome just sitting down. Why would be amazing, you're sitting yeah? It's nothing! It's not like you're flying private people rubbing your feet How come you didn't know, but I think you're looking ice cream ice cream ever gross amazing movies play in the music is fucking full 3d. So rounds. Of course you could, you could make all those things happen if you want, if you want to fly private Dan Bilzerian probably does that when he flashed it's the draw for flying private uh. Obviously I can't afford it I'm going to forward it, wouldn't make any money on the road, but is that you get done and you go home do you get done and you go to get on a plane and you fly home or you just wait twenty minutes and you save thirty thousand dollars, not twenty minutes. It would be nice to get on a plane. You fly private, you fucking cock, I've done it, but you comment.
One calling has no idea. He just doesn't make him a copy you for private, though I don't fly private. You have flow private up for like yes a couple times, but as I never like, as I was like, I just got to get home it just it was. You know it was it instead of doing crazy, Transpo to get to a gig yeah for a short of short light, though I don't do it like an array call them out, just call them out for fly. Providence of that 'cause. I got thought about in the news like when the be nice. Those like yeah, I would you know, is that one, the gross a celebrity things ever is the posing and from the private jet yeah dude. It doesn't you know it all, but it cut comedians. Not do that, though. Yes, they did yeah yeah, I'm not once, but I'm saying like our world is not our friends. No. I know a few that sucked the do it yeah I've seen. Are you looking at me you're looking to you 'cause, you know who I'm talking about
I mean it's only if you do it, it's just a weird thing: it's like you're you're would definitely pose in front of it shirtless. You know he was okay, yeah, okay! Well, what if we were all on a private jet flying somewhere and we post this would ok yeah, because if we had a gig, an asp in to celebrate after sober October is over. We decided to book a gig together and we all. Shirtless hammered on the runway. Looking rip, 'cause we're going to lose shitloads await, that's fine, Let's do this. I really excited now how much what's the most amount of points you've gotten in a month in a month, I think it was right just under forty five thousand one hundred and forty five hundred a lot. So if I most I've seen somebody do with seven seven thousand seven. Well, so that's crazy yeah, but that's like you're really really going after it all the time. You know, probably probably on let's
thirty more than twice of what I did for fifteen days right mmhm. Now, that's crazy! That's a lot of work! Well, here's the thing we did discuss, though so did with the bat. Well, what are the stakes would run right. What what happens if you, when we have it is, is first of all it's just us, because ARI isn't even in the long walks in New York, we couldn't stop giggling, it's because, like pictured already shirtless in New York with a chest, strap on yeah, you get five points you suck. Yeah he's. I don't I don't. I don't think he's going to San called me and said We wanted to do it, but it is not going to do this though yeah he's not gonna. Do this for these also not going to he's like Silver October ish, I can't go off everything or have a stroke. Well, besides, you can't go off everything. He just can't go off. It immediately he's actually going to a doctor this week and he's going to get himself checked out, which is a rare thing Stanhope. I don't know if you know this stand up his
sort of a policy to not go to the doctor and when it breaks he dies, that's his idea because I didn't want mris doesn't want diagnosis, doesn't want recommendations, doesn't want you, no, actions like this going this week, he's going to go this week to get himself check doubt to make sure that he can go. So I think I mean as much as Stanhope is sort of a fatalistic. Loves being this lovable drunk and you can't feel good to just always be drunk it. Just can't feel good. I don't know he's taking time out before. I know he's taking time out before smoking as well. I know you quit smoking for quite awhile at one point I think you would like to be healthier. You know I mean I know he would. He would have more energy as he would make his comedy better. I really do not. This comes on amazing. It is, but I just think you have more energy. Yes, ma'am energy is a big thing,
So I think- and I also think is something to do and connect them to us. He's out there and fucking Bum FUCK Bisbee Arizona hanging out with a bunch of dorks I like I like partying out there pointing out there is fun spot you like partying, anywhere do party in North Korea. You fuck the invites out there. I hope to God. Someone just put this in front of him encrypted email. They go Kim. This and then I want to watch a machine story, and then he watched him. He goes out. Let's make another one: let's make new stuff I've had I've had moments where that, where people go, we could get you into some trouble and I get fucking scared. I was with the contents in the other were like really. You can have a baby elephant if you're into it or not. Damn do kidnapped a baby elephant. Yes, some another try to kidnap this elephant from sanctuary. They give it to me the back end there that the missile was going into kinetic back, and I was like party put. A part of me is like if you get a little bit of a buzz of men, but
That was just that sounds like a good way to die. Yeah yeah, yeah, good. Yeah it's all about the Insta stories, the. How do you the time to do those in stores 'cause. It doesn't interfere with actual life like how often do you present in real life when you're doing I look at your dots on your instant store and like Jesus there's like seventy dot. No, I don't ever put that many. I put up I'll, probably put up ten a day. That's all that you thing yeah What's up is that minor yours might be mine. Why is it beeping? Do I take it off of this now having it hanging like that? But sometimes it will just do it anyways, but it's finally working out if it beeps one beat means it's on that three beat means shut, all the beeps off on the app, so I could use it in yoga class yeah, oh yeah, I don't beep and of course You know you can wear those sensors right. If you wanted to like make get a good reading to start it worked out, it was good
I look, it insists. Doors will get Instagram as part of business. Tell me again things annoying. Are you looking? part of business unlimited is part of my business and so I go, I am very present in life. I don't insta story everything, but like in moments like when the rat runs into our house. I definitely a story that, and I always my phone is in my pocket. I like how you're like I'm very present and then right before we start you like I'm terrible at this at home. That was not a good parent, I'm taking care of my kids by myself, my wife somewhere traveling abroad. These dots bro that ain't ten dots like this one. What the fuck are you three hundred and forty five thousand six hundred and seventy eight looks like more. I said I was cool with a bag of rice, but it's only one pm and you have a doctorate in the summer from last night and yesterday, twenty four hours, okay, yeah, I I
I'm like I'm I'm parenting by myself. I can't do I'm not good at it. It's a good chance to bond with your kids It is, or they realize exactly how out of touch. You are with their lives. Well, I'm not one for giving parental advice, but what I would say to do is abandoned all other things you do while you're doing it so think of yourself as like a mom, a good House mom like instead of like trying to squeeze it in with all the other you do. You won't be good at it. If you do that, if when I, if, if if, if my go somewhere and I have to just take care of my kids. I don't do anything else. I schedule nothing, nothing else. If I do a podcast, I have to do it during the day while the kids are at school and then once there I don't go to don't do shows that night. I don't do shit. I just hang out with them and we do shit make sure I do like to take him to a
pottery class. So we'll go to you know like dojo boom going those bouncy places, they've, trampolines and just do stuff with them an adult, but leave your phone off leave your phone off. Your kids are, there was last year you want your wife to contact you. Maybe that, but don't look! Your twitter just hang out with them. It's some! It's! You have to like have like rules in your head, Kids are a lot older kids, though yeah, but still you want to enter with my number and how old they are. I know, but your kids is awfully young minor minor like fourteen and twelve and so yeah. But don't you just hang. With them and do stuff. Last night we watched dead, pool, we're going out to dinner tonight, but yeah, but just the actual getting up. I was telling Tom I got up at five hundred and forty five to get make them breakfast and my daughter, my oldest, ordered, already pulled the trash out, put it by the door back door. For me to take out was lit. Give me a speech. It was like just so. You know you need to be ready to go at five hundred and forty five, like you can't just get up at five hundred and forty
kind of like slow roll into the morning to school, see they've got to be, should be a school at eight. I think, and but it's easy lecturing you and Leanne was loving it Liane qualities like you got to get going. You can't just get up and be Gilbert your daddy on duty I made the mistake of saying I was going to make pancakes. Everyone was like you can't trying to make pancakes and I was like going to pancakes, making pancakes I've got the standard batter stern and they're like we did I think that's already hungry, gotta go and so yeah scheduled, lends a gangster with that shit. I just when you fold me into her My brain doesn't work like that right, yeah. I get that, but it's like when you're just hanging out with them. Just them. It's got. Realizes. I mean it's for everyone that has kids there's. You only have a few of these years.
Now you only you only have a few and then next thing you know they're adults, two hundred and fourteen that happened overnight. You know I have friends that don't have good relationships with their kids and it weird it's weird to see this sucks sucks sucks. You know sucks swear to say kids that are resentful angry at you. You got that coming for sure, yeah for sure Right set, comma, no teenagers is tough men in his top thing. Well, first of all, being a teenagers fucking you got like remind them over and over again you're dealing with a torrential downpour of hormones that you, You just don't know what to do with you remember what that was like yeah you're, so confused all the time. Configure bodies in fucking disarray in life, for you is probably exacerbated by like them being like this generation and knowing that your race,
and I mean start that you can always drop so fuck it and we're always drunk and racist, and then the Crossville people picketing outside your house, where are steaks so we haven't, worked. Ok, so the most you've ever most you've ever gotten is so what did I get today? Two hundred or something like that? What do I get to eleven yeah? So two hundred and eleven, the normal work out for you right yeah, I think two hundred is like it is a good strong work out. Yes, a good normal work at so if you get two hundred well, if I did to two hundred twice a day, Jesus men days a week, you plan on doing that. I'm hard sun, I'm trying to kill Bert, yeah, I'm in for the challenge there Mickey mantle gene. I want you to say that Mickey Mantle Gene's real well, oh shit,
the you've. Yet to it you just heard what he's doing. I know, and I understand that I have that I have the accessibility to get there. I'm up the challenge but you're planning on Joe you're planning on Trans actually yeah, but your specially planning out four hundred points today, yeah you're right, or what yeah I might go seven. I might try seven days a week, so how are they really saying four hundred points? If I do different things, that's true! That's the key to it. Put in eight thousand points, yeah close to yeah, I wanna try every yeah because they thought the only thing is. I have a hunting trip. That's can take me away for six days. I have a cruise that state tomorrow is that a is as a new way for for Garrus, but when I'm doing a hunting trip super, I have no idea. I think I'm Bobby Kelly is going the way I'm doing the hunting trip like send this to Jamie. You see what a typical day in the mountains is like when you that's some of the most brutal workouts I've ever done. 'cause you're high
looking at altitude an when you're at altitude, man, it's fucking. I did twelve miles a day. Thirty one thousand steps shit 116th. Floors at eight thousand one hundred feet. Well, just so you know, if, like If you wore it, that's a that's a typical day in the hunting if you wore it by the way. For that you would just you know, it would come out to some crazy number. How many steps do use. I mean that's thirty. One thousand steps twelve there twelve miles in the mountains, but it's the thing is the Ella, you're, going up and down hills and stepping over logs and you're always always breathing heavy, I mean it's it's rough anywhere for that yeah, okay, yes, Jesus Christ. Marathon, I guess mean that's another marathon, At times I have to run around the goddam cruise ship all right, so so you're, a hundred twenty thousand points a year.
A month would be you doing two days. No, you can get that many points, there's no way. What are you talking about? We were talking to eight thousand at the most like he said he said. Four thousand five hundred was his best. His best One thing, that's crazy! I was working out like Pro, probably twenty two or twenty three days and doing you know something like two hundred plus points each time. That's amazing okay, so a thousand is right. Now, yeah, that's crazy! Okay, your best months, four thousand not met the without, like being in a competition. I've hit forty three forty, four hundred, let's say: okay, Joe immediately would get six thousand. If you just did what you did today every day of this month, close to it for did it every day, but that was is the morning workout doing Tuesday we're all doing 2A days. I get this working high school here we gotta have to someone called the Fucking Rock, so he's getting nervous, I'm getting service
mistakes on this and I love this makes me more exciting than anything. That is good, but I have a challenge whatever it is should all come in even an just make re pay for everything, never he's never going to catch up. And big shout out our I mean our we've said it before, but he really did come through on that bet. He did I'm saying on when he took us to the game. He bought crazy tickets and I thought they were Much less. He gave us a first class experience nice and we should make him do it again. Yeah like what would be the steaks It's gotta, be something that we can all participate in Floyd, Mayweather, Manny, Pacquiao, too, that's a great front row. We're talking about that
by the way I the way to say whatever you want about me being on my phone, the entire time I have the best video from that of the last, the lead them to scoring a touchdown, yet five radio tape, the touchstone and then cut to Tom Inori yeah. I know it's great. That was a really fun weekend. That was too big that place. This going. That's where Larry the cable guy performs, my god. It does warm. The places like that. That's a big is audiences. Are when Floyd Mayweather Pacquiao, I don't know, I think it's in December. Is it in December tenth tentatively, it's just too much to do that yeah. I would definitely oh my god yeah it might be in Japan, though yeah really I'm fucking so into this, might be a demo booked it yet. So I don't know, there's just talk that it might be there wow guys. Oh let's go.
In Japan, town that sounds crazy, but it also that's like asking artist. Come football, one hundred grand yeah we're not flying coach. Are that way not flying coach across the ocean lost it, but there's no way he could win right. So someone has to win someone else to win, but more importantly, one person is going to lose If you beat me and I beat you that don't mean shit 'cause, we're all beaten, ARI right. It's like a skins game he's already, but you know he's going to be like I'm not doing the phone. Maybe, but maybe he's listen this right now he's doing should we call true- is getting any sober. Twitch my gramps to even more ways like fuck you, I'm going to win, I'm going to fucking went what ARI goes crazy and just fucking goes whole hog everyday. He six hours a day takes spin classes and crossfit classes, and where is it during Jiu Jitsu, Floyd, Mayweather
is planning come back in Tokyo before his rematch with Manny Pacquiao. This is a couple weeks ago. So so you want to tune up fight huh, I'm gonna be real yeah yeah, I'm I'm you know. Would you go that you would go to the title? Yes be an interesting fight. I mean they're both past their prime, but it should be a fun event to we mean it will kill just knocked out Lucas Matisse, A and Floyd hasn't fought in the years since he beat Conor Mcgregor. That's not a real boxing. I mean it's a boxing match, but it's on a boxing match at an elite level of views. If he was Boxing Terence Crawford or someone who's like at the very top, now he's not in that kind of like zone right now, but he still the best ever. If not the one of a handful of the greatest boxers in the history of the world ever
You know no question. What we should do is tear the tear. The winnings okay first place pays for nothing whole weekend. I like this idea. Second place soon pays for their for pays for their take that whenever least expensive race for the ticket and nothing else third place place for all hotels so that the last place just pays the. Most out, but he's not he's, not dropping. So fourth Let's say the last place. Person has to cover flights, but they can use their miles see. The problem is, like no, no, the loser has to wear a beard of my pewbs and he's gotta he's gotta clean his face with my come. You got scared me public, this fucking, all of us. Yes, it's so sad context. We have to drink all of our piss. I was solving over my shoulder. She goes no, no we're not drinking everyone's pissed. He said But it's like you, gotta, be a pan handler for six hours on the corner
was like I'm that already yeah yeah? He wanted us to do really ridiculous shit like walk down the street naked the tears of paying for it. So it's like not all it's a good idea, right so person, take the whole beating first place pays nothing. All we get through. The first place should be. I don't cover shit first place should get like a belt. We should make belt sure so October belt. A real one like a real real wire like a WW, yeah, yeah yeah, all rock Tober. All that we need a sober October belt. Champ was the champ Jamie, This is a project. I need you to look up where you would get a pro wrestling belt no knock off shit. Oh my god! I just got a beautiful. I just found my inner voice when I workout that fucking belt- just all my god, I'm in voice kids so excited in her voice. So you're going to start doing two different Bella. I might be doing three days. Wow. Look at him. Look at his series. He's excited now: dude,
Oh that I found out now tell him he ain't shit and there's no way he'll win. This will fire him up even more tell me, I can't run America, you can be definitely recommend this we'll we'll win this though there's no way away, while Tom he's got reverse psychology get Pepsi belt who, for once a Pepsi, but I know a guy diabetic so what which what we have on the is it me about the right there. It's a muted, John, on the bill. Okay, so we found a company that makes belts. What is the name? Is company program belts, dot com, a nice okay, so we need some sort of a logo. We need, like sober October is definitely the name of it right. The sober October felt and undisputed, so we're at shoulder Champ, and we like time with champ, oh yeah, we have on it still guys should be our our faces.
Grave than it should be like the like. The no smoking sign, no blue sign, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no needles, yeah, no, no on the side, yeah needles, piles of coke and then a guy trying to suck his own dick hello. Everyone yeah so will have to come up with. How long does it take to make one of these belts listen month, let's find out whoever program belts. If you listen in three to four it's all perfect fun. So if we finish the design signed by the end of this week. We might be able to have it at the end of the month. You might be holding up that build up how's that feel fuel entirely. You definitely won't be only about definitely either Mary, JO now wow, there's no way flights lodging tickets. Mrs missing there's no way three thousand five hundred and have never worked out with them. I've worked with them. What happen oh, he gives up he's gotta we ever workout together and have done like hotel.
Like Pre, that's right, we worked out before but actually we went when we were in Phoenix. We went to a like a mma gym. Oh that's, right! Yeah! That's right! We did. We worked out Dominick's to go to Barry's bootcamp together what happened? I don't mind were throwing up if I workout like I like and then I seems like you enjoy it. I do I. I know that I've done it as hard as I can do it. I get it. I've thrown up before growing up that girl came into my green room this week and threw up she was looking for the bathroom and just fucking threw up a much greener. That's your contract! I I started throwing up by the way your your promo, you showed me, bring in more vomitor's just so you know I cut a promo, I'm doing it will be dropped. Next Monday, we're announcing my tour next week, but I'd cut a promo. It's all you erling! No, no! No! It's just
What it's like being a one of my shows! Yeah chaos. It's chaos yeah! Well, your shows are tales. You you're not doing just a comedy show you've got like a whole party experience happen. Then we I mean I could stand up in stand up straight, stand up and then a lot of times. I do a meet and greet people get to talk and hang out. I think as a fan I like that. So I do that and a lot of times at the end of the night and a lot of times I go I'll, be at the bar next door and uh. Everyone goes to the bar. Those are fucking crazy. Do you think you can do that when the crowds get to like three thousand in four thousand course? Not, I don't know uh. Yeah, real, lucid conversation about what meet and greets are going to look like on this theater tour 'cause. I don't want to get rid of the meet and greet it means it as silly as it sounds, but I think it means something for them to hang out does, and I don't want to charge like one hundred dollars for a meet and greet, but I definitely can't do one thousand two hundred people like I did when I did the will.
I told everyone to go meet me at the bar next door and it was fucking chaos and he was like, like literally elbow to assholes, I just was not. I couldn't get to hang out with anyone. I was just taking pictures over and over and over that. So I want to try to figure out some work around for a meet and greet for this theater tour because do when I Scandinavia. I want to meet. I want to meet you Yes, you know. You know one thing that annoys me: those pictures, what people have stack the pictures they want in the sign in the South yeah yeah. That is not does not like take a picture with me. That's not what you. Sign this for my friend sign this. For me, that's like you're, asked me to work and they, therefore machine and they go they come out with the one, though ok, there, you yeah and then the the behind it come to the side and they're like in this. This in this the sunset some guy, the other day at thirty yeah whoa yeah? They they've they've run into the air It is like six dudes and they have stacks and like a menu, you're showing up, and you want me to work. This is what you're doing you want me.
Stop what I'm doing, and you think it's only it's only five minutes of your time. That's true, but you not really a fan, you're, just a guy trying to get me to work for sure this is you sign 'em now assigned one sale sign one I'll sign one and they get mad like some guy got mad and Philly. Remember that, did you get upset? he's like you do know what you're famous you fans and I think you're not and you just told me another fan- you told me- he literally told me he's like you know we would sell well equals yourself like seven dollars. I go, I don't give a fuck what sell my sign more, absolutely works so well. I know I so I still don't don't don't show up at the airport and harass me then I saw a sign one. Do you do a meet and greet used to doing great today? I used to do I'll still do that, but I used to do meet and greets at the Chicago Theater for three thousand seven hundred people. I would wait and take photos with every that's cool as fuck. I think, but you can't do it anymore. People go too crazy. Is the podcast it got. Crazier and crazier people go crazy and they were there would hold on your arm
I want to tell you he changed our life. I want to tell you like long stories like look like there's five hundred people behind waiting. I can't give you fifteen minutes here yeah. I can give you five minutes it just it just got too strange and it just got too many people wanting to get on the podcast, like You gotta get me on. I'm going to tell you my story about beating drug addiction. Like I'm sure it's a great story. I can give you a stop. This is not how this works. You know there's just much of that too much it's not if it was just high. I want a good picture. I had a good time great, but it's not that. Then it was all these agenda driven people that all with that want to do things and they want they want you to do things for them. They think there's too many people that a bit on the park as it is regular folks, and then they get on the podcast and now people know about, and so a lot of p thank like hey. If I just got on the podcast, that would make my career totally. You know whether they're a singer or they have a book or this it just gets too annoying. This is a it's just.
It's too overwhelming, but the mean Green is actually like. It's like part of your brand. I feel like yeah. It definitely is like when we did. We did that Chicago that theater run with avocado in Dayton. All those guys owns mellow your I like it now, None of the guys wanted to meet and greet, and there was like one thousand people waiting outside the theater, and I thought I just thought that's different, because that's who I I'm like. If I go see a band I am, I am like soup. We're, compelled to go talk to them and tell them how great I thought they were part of that is who I am, and so I went out and did pictures with I'm wait in the alley at the Chicago Theater and then, when some because you have no idea, I love the podcast. I love Tommy. I love weight loss I beat you know. I love that correction. I remember one time I was in Schottland and I was like I just hit. How is anyone any fans want to have a beer with Maine and there's three guys showed up and it was right, Bobcat was on your podcast and we just bullshit about bobcats appearance, we'd all listen to it. So you know, I think,
but I don't know what I'd like to teach. Maybe charged only did like weed out the people that don't want to. You know yeah but see. There's the problem, I'm not! That's! I'm philosophically opposed to making people pay for pictures and making people pay to hang out with you. I I just, I don't think it's right, but there should be a way to like just in the early as anything in less you charge money or pick people so like there's a company now that does that the disease v, I p things and and someone brought it up to me like you- can make this my I'm like, I'm not doing it no, but you can make some stop not doing it. I mean I used to do it for free for ever. I stopped doing it because too many people got too weird, but I'm not going to charge people I'm not going to do it, but I know a lot of fucking people to do a lot of people and they make a lot of money doing it. You used to do it right. What being great yeah, I used to also feel
you know honestly, I I I like meeting people. I meet people on the street. I meet them when I walk out of the back of the venue. I was there's people, there always meet people, but I I just don't I don't I'm not that good at the meet greet it's not that comfortable with it. I don't like it that much is definitely not in not being shitty, but it's not you you're, not like I'm, not very so. You know, people that there's people that are demanding and they're like. Oh you don't love your yeah, it's not true extra thing from now now here's the array, the arrangement. Is I work hard on my act? I do a lot of sets. I prepare take the show very seriously come to town I do kick ass, show that's that's their arrangement. Thank you, Goodnight Ardiles done now. If you think that you have to tell me some, Fucking Life story for twenty minutes or I'm not your friend like no. This is not the arrangement
it's not like you're demanding too much and you're. Also not aware of how many other people would want to do the same thing. Yeah like it would be impossible. It's just it's untenable, you can't do it. There's too many say that for me, like anybody who wants to wait outside that door, I'll me, anybody to shoot. Fucked up son should have said that that was a mistake. They're not going to wait there coming right now getting ready for camp. They have a little trailer out there right now, Tom's Tom, so it's amazing that we're friends, because we're so very different men. There was once that comment on his instagram. That made me laugh so hard. Compared to my comments. It was hey Tom, I'm real sorry for looking at you at the airport. They said. I'm sorry I said hi is that a high near the airport, but it's just Tom's face just like he is he's not maybe that's what it is is when some guys at our time on hi, and the guys did not say I walked away. He he came up. I still remember it. I was
It is a stomach for Easter that you might want to murder. He came over as I was about to take the escalator at Hartsfield Jackson and he he goes hey, I'm a big fan. I go hey man and it was like a quick thing. He was like big fan. I go thanks a lot appreciate. It got on the other and never thought twice and then he wrote. I'm sorry see that I bothered you at the airport. I was like you didn't bother me at all that's just someone is trying to get a reaction from you. In person. He's not really sorry, yes, nothing to be! Sorry, for you know I mean well, I'm the exact opposite is like he just wants to keep it going right. Now, I'm sorry, don't be sorry going out with you with your dick taste, like butt burn yeah. I know whenever because I did I was at the I was at the hotel. They'd Bella Tore is going on this weekend in San Jose and so is all fighters. Right. Every day I ran into jet big dumb, a car, okay, the elevator. What a great guy was great countries like I knew who he was, but I didn't wanna like I was afraid I just working out he was like. Is it high
Just got done. Working out was like yeah. I wouldn't want to bother me cuz. We were mutual friends and I was like does he know who I am Rogan. I went, I know exactly the you are and then, but so that big room is big fella. No, no John, there's a different guy, I'm sure done as a big dick to Methos he's got a hamburger. What, when did you see, massages dick in the fucking thought he saw his dicks dude? It was legit. She called me about called you because I didn't see the fight because the fights on some deuce, the thing called Daisen D A's, it's called the zone they have. The name is with Michael buffer. It's pretty it's kind of a commercial about how dumb? How do you spell it D Az and does own it's about he's. Joking about, I know soon it's called does own yeah, it's called. But but it's not zone is no ok man. They can't
change. How people pronounce things phonetic, Lee that stupid someone primate it got stuck well, boo. Saucy just beat the shit outta Roy Mcdonald stopped in the second round. I didn't even get a chance to see it 'cause. I thought it was going to be on tv, and so I went to check my Bellator, my dvr, and it wasn't even there when you begin with his dick beat the shit out with his dick. He could. I don't know how long to cut weight without cooking hog on it with his cock wow. I want to see that footage. How big ten inches I'll tell you it's bigger than this that fatter than a water bottle borough I'll. Tell you right now, certain point time you dig becomes a liability limits, files, water sure I don't know what he the ring with him. I think every girl
be unsatisfied totaly all the time soon as they pull it out there like hold on a second, I get outta here out and he's like what is one hundred and seventy two. He weighed seventeen. Do that day, because I got on he weighs more that he fights at one hundred and eighty five. He cuts wait to get to one hundred and eighty five. He used to be a light heavyweight champ. So used to be fighting. It may be a little bit thing wrong. Maybe I looked at the schedule and I think the scale was off. He said You say that you would send once a day U8195I weighed two hundred and thirty somethings Gegard could make one hundred and seventy two he would destroy everyone in the welterweight division. He's a murderer is that name Gegard Mousasi Gerald. In this lecture about different person, I'm dyslexic. So when I read things when I read things, I don't see it right away: Moose Aussies, a monster man he's one of the big losses for the UFC cousin. My pin he's one of the top two or three hundred and eighty five pounds in the world at the UFC at beaten Chris Weidman, and then he goes over and fights in Bellator now, but apparent
they just came up with some large cash they're. Trying to get big names over to bellator other men. I don't you know, I don't know anything about us. Seasonal hammer me about that, but like do Bellator is really cool just being down. There is like tail son in Rampage Jackson. Like fifty cent was there. It was like a really like uh. If, if you're a passerby fan of MA, then you're like oh, shut, the fuck up there doing really good fights, they have big, they have big town, there. Now they have Michael Chandler was one of the top lightweights in the world. Rory Macdonald is one of the best. If not the best welterweight in the world he's definitely like top two or three free, he's, beaten, Tyron Woodley, who is the UFC champion? Who, I think is the best story they snagged over? Then they snagged him they have one early so was. I have a vandal is way past its prime and so is rampage. You know those guys they had, they they're doing the legends torn family just knocked out family yeah, but generally doesn't
Look good anymore. Let him get on the Jews that Adam JUICE, it up. Don't you set up, but you know they're doing a great job, they're doing a great job there really promoting these fights. Well, there pudding, in the welterweight division they have Douglas Lima was one of the best in world. They have up Paul day really who can knock out any living human being. They have Mens Larkin. Fifty cent was given away a cash price. Jesus Trejo got into the steam room with fifty What is two award Bellator? What is it a welterweight grain prize winner, one million dollars cash price? Didn't he just go bankrupt, fifty yeah, so this is part of a daily had with get the strap brand, which I guess he owned owned and sold. Part of that money into this. A million dollars goes to give the person one million dollars cash prize. So the welterweight Grand Prix that they had course I've just fought Lima. Those two guys are excellent to chorus. Coffee
other top ten guy in the world. I think and he's fighting for Bellator 2L to Lima beat him Lima, and Rory. Had a great fight. Rory beat Lima by decision so there's Rory Douglas Lima, Paul, Daley and still to this day, like Paul Daley, can knockout anyone he's so fucking dangerous. A puncher always do he's got a left hand. That's just a nuclear missile, so he just knocked out Lorenz Larkin, who is also a top welterweight, there's so many good fighters over there now so many good fighters in general, yeah yeah, it's me is coming up. Right now I mean there's the top talent, this fucking fight this weekend between Mcgregor. And could be Birmingham it off is going to be crazy. That is a crazy fight. This Vegas right yeah, that is a fucking, crazy forgotten that I don't know what the fucks going to Are you excited yeah? How cool is that
it was? It was on this cruise. I would totally at your for tickets, yeah, I'm and I'm super excited, speaking of which, on this on this bet, K G. This is Joe, I'm just okay. Do you think you can get us free tickets to like so so we can take that out of the cash prizes, because that would really to go Where I'll get you free tickets for the UFC for sure. Do you think I think we could leverage you who to get us tickets to a boxing match yeah for sure we can get some tickets as opposed to pulling that. May that may make the prize right if it's a program, but if it's like right right so, like maybe I'll get the tickets for the fight I'll use leverage to get the tickets and then we'll make a big deal that we're going to go and then we'll get like sweets at some we'll tell somewhere lodging and the loser has to pay for like some extravagant meal and cry, We got to be on the and then and then
yeah we going to Vegas yeah. If it's a. If I wanted to kill for some fucking stupid fight, yeah, let's go private private jet Vegas 'cause he's talking about fighting this guy. That's not Manny Pacquiao in Tokyo, he's not talking about fighting many pack If you fight Manny Pacquiao is going to vitamin Vegas. That's where the real money is you're, going to spending a lot of money. Should we get matching suit, you're going to lose? No, I'm not going there's no way to win the whole thing. I think you're going to come in if your fantasy, that you come in at the Did you win the whole thing? Cinderella story should workout with me once kill those fantasies kill. Mom kill him dead, I wanna know I wanna know what you think you're going to get
I've got a page numbers right here. Okay, what do you think is going to have a friend you know so the so you should see mine the help. You're scared, here's a scaring me! I know what I have to do now when I go home tonight. So let me, let me understand what do you think you're gonna get that that I I want to know what you think you're gonna get you're gonna call you shots so well. Tom is already achieved more in a day than my first workout you've already achieved. Two hundred and thirty says most of the most I've ever done in a day is three hundred and eighty three. The eighteen. Well. Is that a 2a day? Actually, I'm sorry it's more than that three hundred and eighty in one workout, but that was so, but that was how did you do that seven miles, and I did mostly uphill and then I went around and like so, it was like a of a hike run right, so okay sustain heart rate for for an extra long period of time. Are you guys are and when I wear this elk hunting yeah
yeah? You guys will never can I get five hundred today, so I'm gonna have to you'll do more than that. You want side action. You want actually going on, like top top top workout side piece. I gave right rather than most single day most single day today, so you can do, let's say, hike like that are uh, and then go back and go like I want to get like another one hundred points, I'm going to go on this. How long does this battery go for long time, cancel your for a week, yeah really yeah. I I didn't charge mine for a second time till after I had it, for over saw okay for all skeptical people. This is not a sponsor. No, we don't know anybody that works this company and I don't want we we talked but in text messages I said we should do this punk rock. I don't want we shouldn't do this. We shouldn't have a co sponsor now now. This is a good metric system. Should product we're going to use it. Because of that- and I don't want it- I don't want him to sponsor us. So this is non sponsored
this is it and if it's a piece of we're gonna get to say it's a piece of yeah just so because people do for good one corporate. I like the side act, I like the side. That's part right now! It's like! I wish you do this faster CALL Kim Jong Moon's woman sponsored fly me out to pick Sean young. Is a nice place with you so that you know I do it for real. If they hit me up and then I'm going to switch royally, though I probably, but why would you want to do? now. Why would you want to go to know it's about the stories I like? I like I like crazy stuff, like that? That's exactly it gets too Demi on brand, most single a work out gets a new suit. Okay, that's good, and then all three of us have to buy them a new suit. Are you? Are you just texted LISA? How do I register this thing or is wow in Ok, most single digits are going to compete, but he doesn't exercise It was so great, most single days to suit and we're gonna be in the best shape of our lives, so
skinny suit everywhere, again yeah. We should right, he has to email them for a facility code. Yeah, it's easy to get us that right away. You're right, we should wear, suits to the gig yeah yeah. I've never even had a suit right. Yeah we'll do we'll. You know we'll. Do our contact David August of the guys to make my suits? Yes, your your suits yeah. I know David August yeah. They make awesome, suits, making sure handmade. It's got like a little bit of flex to it. So if you're built like troll like Maine, you can move around in these things is the flex around their belly. Yes, everything was that June. You two guys yeah, but David August is yeah. He makes Gregory. Yes, we when Tom got his fat suit, it's with the Chad Chad dancer and they went got suits. He does that. Is it yeah, yeah yeah there's a document we called. I need you to kill the time in which
Really it's on Amazon, Prime and there's a scene in the Commandery where we go and we get suits, made and yeah the with where I go with Chad and it's it's really really fun man I mean yeah. I went to the same district that already got his made in and that guy Danny I went to Danny they always they have like the names are really sit there. Like did you get yours at Joe's? thanks. Like that's the designers. There, but okay, does a great job in first place is for nothing second place. Most single day gets a brand new suit. Should we do third place plays lodging fourth place pays for flights and we fight private. I like it. I like that man are you gonna for a flight you're gonna play lodging yeah right second place got to pay, for something was second place. Yes, I was gonna pay for whatever the dinner one big know where I lodging might be more than big dinner
bald american girl, crazier dinner bottles of wine, for one thousand dollars. You realize if I'm in oh, my god that now getting panic 'cause, I know that I'm going to be in didn't wanting to drink it. There I think about the dinner I went to Ralphie with Ralphie may mean we went to dinner family. Who is one my favorite stories we've been partying all weekend, and this is Hawaii. No. This is a Bahamas Bob, oh yeah yeah, but you got to set it up that at the time you're like middling or just as a freelancer act yeah. I was a feature act. How many years ago, because of this is Lianna NICE first trip away from Georgia so from our daughter ten years plus it's gotta be at least one thousand and ten eleven years, but you can actually find it. If you can it's all my video, because I posted a video at that time. So it's probably two thousand and seven maybe before trial, and wrapped his kid before I started birth, conquerors, thirty, seven years old, a thirty six years old at the time, Ralph is killing it Rafiz ball and I'm headlining some. Maybe for like one thousand five hundred
x, two thousand bucks on headlining, and but I'm I'm still featuring at the time, and so maybe I've done Jamison, comedy tour. That was so. I had a little to bit, not much no money to speak of so we What to do this game for Paul and young RON and the first night there we go out to eat and it's a huge dinner like how much do I owe nothing like oh player. You know I got that Krisha, don't worry about it, If you look, you will have a great weekend, I said no, I I got a proposal, don't even usually awhile when you're wrapped around women. Having may so. We go out that night goes drink and we have a great time. The next night we go out to eat, everyone goes out to eat and, roughly once again I go to pay for any goes out. Hey boy, you know you don't mind, no good around me just come on. You have a good time. We go to a show having Amazing fucking show we drinking again Robin picks up everything. The last night there we go to sushi at Nobu, anally and says you can't arrive, you pay. You got to pick up the bill and I went ok. So I go over the lady before her
before I'm going to screw up numbers I'll. Tell you that right now, but I go over the lady before the bill comes, and I go hey the big guys, not paying here's. My credit card and she's like ok, so we and I drink, and we and I drink rap is getting like boats right boats. So, just like you know where they place, I mean they brought out fifty pieces sushi but like you could eat dolphins, and so- and I am when Saki Bomb after Saki Bomb and the lady comes with the check and it's like two thousand dollars. I did not have two thousand dollars and I did not. I didn't have enough money to for the tip like I didn't. I was like. Why do you think you could pay I didn't know what the bill would be. I don't I've never paid attention that stuff. I didn't know what I just do you ever eat out. No, but I didn't I wasn't paying attention to what the bill would be. I thought would be five hundred dollars. Six hundred. I didn't know how expensive sushi. Was that everything is through the roof mmhm. She puts the check in front of me and I opened it up, and I see
see it and I immediately freeze and the Angus. How much is it and just instantly? I go you that what is and she goes and Ralphie fucking fucking our shit, bark, Russia, you fuck! Now you should. Let me babe are crazy. I then I go Ralph Ralph Ego don't worry player we go out and win it back. So I go to our bank machine and I plotted one thousand dollars and I go over and I put it on black hits red I'm down three thousand dollars. With John Matter of minutes. Lee initially Snipes lied to you, we'll be able to speak. To me is probably one of our biggest fights we've ever been in we're fighting in the lobby. Unam hammered she's mad because you bet the extra money. No, because I said fuck you that's how much it is never talk to me like that you're. My partner team. I did want to stay in the moment it was more money than we had. That was like.
And it was like probably three weeks on the road from, of course, crazy type sign, and then you gambled away one thousand like a fucking God stop making managing. Yes, sir, okay, let's Lou Gehrig's disease, that's my favorite part of that story is just like you know that you got shamed. You know that's what I love about it, what it? What makes you feel good about that. Just with my friend to I gotta run actually. Okay, do we have to work this out right now to we have to bring the already in on this right because he came to I have no say he couldn't be here. We all right now we all right now, okay, comma, let's see if he answers
so all at the same time. Who answers, I know, is answering stingy jail. Did you get him? Try and God what what to do this full, stupid thing: hey you're on speaker with Joe and Tom, we can all hear you and we're done. And just like that You do not have to use my voice, hey we're talking about the bat here's, what we're thinking right so with these Myzone fitness trackers, Joe Two hundred today he's plans on doing two days, so we're thinking the person who gets the most most calories. The most points burnt in a week had doesn't have to pay for anything out of this challenge.
Everything, murder, my agents now calling shit so. The bet is away from we're: fighting were we're going to a fight in LAS Vegas, okay, Joe thanks, can get hang up. Your fucking agent in the boys don't be scared. First place will have to pay, for nothing. Second, place would have to pay forward. Thinking? Maybe one meal third place will have to pay for lodging. Just let me fucking finish. Third base will play for lodging. Fourth place play for you're talking about talking about, to give you a detailed or something? I don't understand, okay point. So what I would suggest you do is tell me what you're talking about and they give me the details. The person with most fitness points points for the month will get in first place. The person with the second most fitness points for will get in second place, and so on now
There's a side bet going, wait, wait and the prize is going to a big fight. A big boxing boxing match in Australia. Mmhm, yes, first place a person with the most business points for the month will not have to pay for one thing, second place: what about a pubic hair beard? add all those come on. I knew he would turn this into humiliation. We all we all come on the losers face, though that's part of it neic, the goblet of our piss combine piss and I'm eating ass. Target weight, but so are you in is the end Are you in on the bed I can rush your state, but I don't I don't know what weekend is says. I don't know whatever we can talk about free pull up the weekend throughout the we have to figure out the weekend. It's gotta be a weekend yeah, we'll figure out the weekend. It's an event
Boxing match, I tell him this yeah, but we're going to be high as fuck. It would be fun and tell him this. There's a belt involved. Oh yeah, the winner gets, belt, we're getting a billion belt sober October belt. And you have to defend it every year, you're having it made. It's going to have pills on it with a line through it heroin on it with a line through it. A gosh cuz on Dick ok! Well we're going to go to see Floyd Mayweather Rematch, Manny Pacquiao. We don't have to do it, though will take place nine years ago. I want to see it. It would be fun to be in Vegas, but like a gentleman yeah we're all together, we don't have to work, were just all there to hang out I'm going to smoke cigars, Lego, fucking gentleman takes place sometime in December, but they haven't made the date they haven't made the date yet
you're in right gone all December, where you going european What if we go to a good we event to, I have to work. You want to go, see a an mma event you take off and go see UFC in the middle. This damn and get high. There will do a bunch of heroin this band. I can't I can't take off one ok, I tell you One thing: we could do one that I don't have to do, because I only do that once I don't do the e s, p, n ones and the is some of the S p n one's going to be really big. I could be in the audience yeah yeah. Let's do I do that. Okay, okay, no, we don't worry about tickets, okay, all right the loot. The fourth place has the foot plate for the flight and we're flying private. Yeah just to Vegas, it's not a lot. If it's of Vegas event, though, I'm probably going to work, it would be
ok, so it's just! We have to be like bug in New York. It's not that much to RON to help you figure out where it is so. Did you get this thing registers? Let's take care of that sorry, I sent you an email if you email the email that I just sent you a text message. If you email that address they'll, send you a facility code right away. We got your message, yeah yeah, yeah look! I just did just so. It is saying sending email to support at I sent you all the details to say I need to, of Did you buy yours on Amazon me too, Are you in for a tier two financial bet for a UFC of? or Joe doesn't have to work and the humiliation money. You know what let's find it, let's find a sweetly.
Despota humiliation in this over the last place. Last place has got. There's a punishment involved. Everybody's pissed no no no goblet! Now, anyway, you guys are fucking friends, Tom and they're, like no straight from the tap like a yeti. Tumblr yeah yeah hold on. I will use a jre tumblr and will will write the piss champion on it. This right here will keep will always keep it on this table, so will know that the person drank the other peoples. Piss would be like fucking Forrest Gump this month and then why? Don't you guys just come on my back, I hosted fear factor I'll drink, a gallon of piss right in front of them and you're not going to have to be the one drinking piss when did either Tomer ARI, I'm worried about my friend yeah sure. He doesn't believe that you could ever possibly win this there's no way birtle even come in fucking. Third, there's no way what
sorry sure you're what you're going to a days and and but what about? What about birds, Mickey mantle gene, uh! That would help him you're on the road, a lot or no yeah, I wanna cruise next year I'm going to I'm trying to get birth to die, trying to keep up with Maine the number to four days, I'm doing four days. Yeah! Good luck reported ok there for fucking knickers to pack, but here's the important thing but it's something we can all get behind. What what is pop. The loggers are. The only problem with that is that we got our first gadgil Gonna. Be fine that, though we can do that out and then we'll add, we will come up with a and what maybe this will be fun will is a very tasteful yet meaningful punishment, Mer final for last place: well, taste:
Well, you just you're at ARI's, wheelhouse tasteful. He wanted to be humiliated when frozen, hotdog up your asshole. That's what he's talking about God is too slippery and break off and get stuck her till the end of April. I really don't have any weeks opening well, we could certainly do something at the end of April. We could figure it out. Look yeah, we'll figure that part of it out but you're in right, you're in on the bed. The bed is first place pays for nothing! Second place pays for a meal third play. This pays for lodging and fourth place pays for private jet. You're in you're in right in what's wrong. That's your name! That's! But that's part of
humiliating just got you pay so much money. Just don't come in fourth and for get in so those long walks in the e village yeah. Those are definitely make you win. No, I don't want private jet. What are you talking about shut up? How about a helicopter? Cruise ship Winnebago across country why's it gotta, be money related. Well, it's just it's just like. I just write a check and doesn't do anything Mason Well, Terry, yet, but we're all like the whole thing is that we're having fun together? Doing it's not supposed to be like really, he wants you to suffer. He wants to drink his piss and wears pewbs on your face. You gotta get the names of the three winner Tattooed on your left, on your right hand, on the side palm of your right hand,
none of that yeah, but I do like the belt. I do like the fact belts great. We have to defend the belt clip the belt that way the person who has the belt, whoever wins they get to keep it in their house and make videos and five bell very motive Any idea all the social media, social media points. You can get stand in front of that belt, letting everybody know. Bill? My bill and Tom will finally have a belt that fits him, so keep going, oh it so this is. This has nothing to do so. It's not about how many calories you burn. It's just about these weird points that this thing make, which is basically related to effort. It's like effort points yeah, it's a good. It's a good system.
You're in correct sorry you're right away by the way interesting going after they get to go okay. What do you want to do? What do you think it should be Search humiliating thing or the rest of it, but like I would probably meet you guys in Vegas, I wouldn't go down late and then go to bed. Tommy buns has to leave, will sort this out, but for sure they'll be uh alt involved for sure. Do you like the begging begging for money, we're not really interested yeah boring tests? Ori? How about this? Can you agree on this tiered structure? If we find an event that you are come well and really excited about yeah, I'm gonna meant to go to. We don't have to be I mean I think, UFC would be fun problem, never never seen UFC fight, but a tiered structure of punishment, meaning for the structure three humiliation for number for belt for the winter single,
Hey by the way single day, calorie burn the person with the most points for one single day that person a brand new suit that all people have to pay for men suit yeah I got. I got Hong Kong to make it now we're gonna get David August to do it only the guy who makes suits for Conor Mcgregor and me yeah, ok, Tom really, so we only make sms. Did he really you? Just joking? play seven years now, he's I don't think it does wow I would trump will get the guy who make suits for Putin. Maybe we're not Kim Jong Uns Guy by the end of this yeah, I like assume we can make for this event. But honestly, it is just only forgive me. I think I'm actually gonna go on this till I probably may at least yeah, but that's be that'd, be fine. 'cause will have a belt yeah.
The winner will get to parade around birds already got the sitting on a shelf his plan, which is his little Instagram stories in front of the belt. I can't wait for sure lose enough. I don't know I listen man. You got a lot of resolve. I saw how you manned up for the fucking yoga challenge. You might man up by the way I'm doing the yoga challenge two yeah yeah for sure I'm going to do fifteen hot yoga classes as well. I'm hard I'm trying to Gilbert hard, I'm trying to match joke. I want Bert last time you work that was probably when we did Jujitsu together, probably ten ten twelve years. Hotel
I want Burke to fall apart. I want Joe to recognize a Mickey mantle gene death. Bullshit, listen, fall apart. I wanted to fall apart, trying to keep up, though, yeah? It was making mental doing now, he's not good. It's not good he's. Not! I just did all my measurements, my pre sober October measurements, not good what do you wear right now? Two hundred and forty six he's dead that guys dead. Two hundred and forty six chest: forty eight belly, forty four waist forty or Bellic, no belly, forty, eight waist forty four and then calves and biceps, or one thousand six hundred and eighteen. What were you at the end of the weight loss challenge? Two hundred and twenty Two hundred and twenty two, maybe wow. I was two hundred and sixteen at the end of sober October last year, wow I'm going back, I'm getting back, I'm getting back! I'm telling you right now. I have motivation. I'm want that belt. I want that belt. I'm not going to pay for anything and I'm I want to look on your face when you're like when you
look at some of my numbers, you're like what the fuck is. He doing he keeps his cheating is cheating. He put it on his dog. Good luck with that you're. In my this is my wheelhouse motherfucker, my wheelhouse. I'm excited. I'm excited, so excited. This is not my wheelhouse, I'm so so I do I'm Everhart. Do you see like get five hundred today? I want to see if I could hit five one hundred day everyday. Our fuck, I'm going to wear it while I fuck I'm be This is the tortoise and the Hare the trend towards my way through this month. India, at a hundred that come back from heart rate, is four hundred one, so it is okay, zero, search for point them in it. I don't know, but I had the shit pegged. I was at
Ninety seven percent for one slash two an hour, I'm gonna get none of that. You are just do it I'm gonna try something ability code, we just go fuck. In crazy, ARI, tiered punishment. One event we all can agree on correct ARI single day. Most points suit. We can add humiliation per like meaning like if we come up with something during the month that we all think hilarious texted to each uh put out on social media and we hold ourselves to that yeah. This will do to do this that and I'm happy nine months later, because they'll be a belt. If Bert, winds will never hear the end of it. The belt will be on the shelf in front of every fucking Instagram video. He makes it like hey
My new me Khabar, crusher, still Rock Tober champion, collect, I collect call so Brock told her. That's going to be is what my motivation is all the murder and death and his motivation is all just going to be like Instagram stories. Begging for money. I'm not I'd, be amazing. At that rei, remember I parked at the Boston Comedy Club, that's my That's my wheelhouse is talking to strangers. You know that true Why will you not do it? I would do in a heartbeat. I would do that for a video. I just do it, for I don't care about begging for money. I don't think he finds it enticing. Yeah. I had a pile of dead paper I get it do it out will figure. The tiered structure will make it so that second place as much a third place. It doesn't pay as much for Joe Rogan dead. I'm definitely going to that. I, by the way, I'd tell you
contact with me and I averted my you look at me like. Are you being a fucking serious, I'm so excited about this very first believed in a lap. You gotta double our points. I might take the whole month off comedy on my workout day and night. I might just want to see. I want to see what my body can do. I might just go really crazy. I got a lot of machines here too. I'm the only one plus it has a full gym. Yeah. You can come over anytime, you like fella. Are you talking to? Are you can yeah? You could use my gym? Fuck yeah! I don't know how to use half those I'll show you how I work.
The closer together taking my trouble, dropping it off you're, actually fun work out together. We make videos, you are better Turner, going to get either way when it's over we'll get fogged up. So are you going to be around at all anytime in November, ARI November? Fifth, he said fifth. Sixth, six. He said I think fifth work from one which one works for everybody to think that it will take to do the fifth of the six, like fifth work, better for Tommy. Okay, that's that works for me, man, the fifth, the perfect fifth or the six either one. Oh! No, this
six! I got a show. I have to do the six that night at five o'clock. There's a television show to do what I can do. The fifty. I think the FED will serve in the fifth work better for Donna to see if we're back. Alright, we'll do the steps, so the fifth will get plowed we're gonna bring it. I'm going to get a kegerator, get Tito's; What do you need re for? The fifth will get it in advance. You like whiskey, right yeah. I love with Pappy Van Winkle. What's your favorite bourbon text me your favorite bourbon will get a fuck, in case of it uber drivers, okay, no Tom! Can? the fifth works better for everyone. Fifth, is everybody so sober October? The fifth will be the celebration day.
And then the day where hopefully yeah so when he flies back we'll get them fucked up as soon as he wins is going to be awesome. I'm sure they will. I'm gonna go towards one right now on the go. Put another work out: they'll email, you a me immediately and if you are in need, no did you see. And to support the email that I just sent a text message, they didn't say: well, they'll, send it too quickly Um they're going to hear about this first of all, they're going to hear about this, so they're, probably going to email. You quicker, but if you have a Ideas about the design of the belt feel free to time. In there too 'cause we gotta order that soon 'cause it takes like three to four weeks. Yeah I think, would be cool to have each of our faces
is one of the side. Things with thing is hard. It's like you have a joint near my. I have a tee toes in my face already, in is Mouth and Tom is a piece of cake, we'll figure it out, we'll figure it out, hi guys are saying about love. You bye, crazy for so side, for this is gonna, be fun. Did I I need these things in my life. For some reason, I don't I'm not. I can't motivate unless I about your goal. It's serious motivation. You know what else to say. You know I was a little skeptical when I first thought about this, but then in using the app while you're using the it's, showing you your actual numbers, while you're doing it and when you're, when you're, when you're in the middle of it, like you're, seeing the actual numbers take place really yeah. You accept my friend request. I didn't know. If I go, I know notifications on
Show Tom, okay, okay, I'll go look at where it should be, except other people. No just the three of us for what we want to live your life. Like that, I don't I don't. I don't know kind of is going to be fun, but it's going to be really going to be a good one. I wonder how much weight we're going to lose. I'm like one ninety seven thousand one hundred and ninety eight right now. I think I'm going to get down below one hundred and ninety do body measurements. So I think that, like I did chest across the nipples belly across the belly button waste and then biceps, calves and thighs I'll tell you all my exact measurements right now. I think I just think it was accurate. My blood pressure today was my doctor. But my blood pressure today to figure out well now, because when I do so by October goes solo, it's not bad No, it's good that I'm on medication. He wants to kind of met, watch my medication so that if I were you one less art and Laura everything Jesus but number. You want that shit because I have high blood pressure, one hundred and twenty nine over. Ninety five is it today, but
set of thing. You have high blood pressure, is because drinking, I think it's the lifestyle inducing these from being overweight and probably from drinking all, but some bad, the able to get you an pills, but I've been a good. It is better than a stroke, but I think me being proactive in getting Encino see a these past. Five years has been the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I said there is significant side effects to a lot of those things really yeah you to look into that stuff. I'd like to get off the pills altogether like if you get it I'd like to get down, I would like to, and we talked about it jokingly, but I'd like to get below two hundred and five. You can do that and keep it. There cinnamon you got to two hundred and twenty or you get to two hundred and sixteen you said at the end of silver October white. What's to stop you from losing eleven more pounds, you could do that
hello, my friend campaigns when he was getting down to run two hundred and forty miles. He wanted to get down to one hundred and sixty nine or below. So you know what he did. He ate two thousand calories burned off three just kept doing it every day same time, people say they can't lose weight, I go so you can you just got to be willing to do with the people that actually lose weight. Do hungry all the time. Losing weight is hard. I don't have how I lose weight is not the healthy way you crash. I go drop calories below and then try to brute can't do that, because we actually discussed this on the podcast very recently, the problem is your metabolism crashes as well in your body goes in this famine mode and it wants to protect Cal so anything you do eat you gain back much quicker and then it's far more difficult for you to lose again 'cause your body has a mechanism in place to protect yourself, because your body thinks it's. We have the whole a lot of these towers. It slows you down your we're talking like one of the guys
Norton Norton, whose uh he was involved in Bodybuilding, and he saying that his blinking was slower. He was blinking slower because, because you know shredding getting down to like body weight yeah his metabolism crash so hard that he was literally blinking. An thinking slower and thinking is for you for a comic stare, able to be thinking slower when you're on stage is the last thing you want. You know if you just work out like a fucking, maniac and eat healthy, just cut out the sugar in the fat and all the bullshit. Body will slim down, I'm just going to go clean. A nutritionist talk me through how to eat when they say well the thing that here's the thing I always had a problem with she was like you need to eat before you workout. You need a little bit of oatmeal, but you need some enerji for your workout. You don't necessarily I fast cardio all the time. Well, that's what I've been doing the sixteen hour fast, She might be old school that there's a lot of people that are neutral
and and the science behind athletic performance is changed so much over the last five hundred and ten years is not. You know just talking to some. And and nutritionists might not be the best person to talk too. They might not be I don't I don't want to say 'cause, I don't know her, but she might not be on the ball. I just I feel like I had so much information, especially when you listen to this podcast you get so information. Zach bitters, like you, got to go fatty, needs and then and then, and then you hear of Jordan, Peterson's daughter, SAM Matin, all these, and then you go to a very specific situation. She has severe auto moon munitions, severe yeah and the server is, which is most likely according to other nutritionist, that I've talked to she's probably got some gut bacteria issue that she need to get her gut biome sorted out. It's also above my pay grade. Quite honestly, I mean I get interest doing this stuff when I talk about and there's some things that I could say with certain amount of certainty, but not really what you shouldn't
shouldn't do in terms of each individual person in their diet. I would say if I was you what I would get down to is, I would say definitely start eating a lot of vegetables. That's pretty universal everybody agrees, except these crazy carnivore people, but I think their situation is like either an elimination, diet or a calorie, restricted diet, which is not really the best for performance. I don't think for the kind of shit you're trying to do. I think broccoli, Kale Spinach, all that stuff sauteed. All that stuff is fantastic for you, then, on top of that mean, obviously I eat red meat. I'm a big fan of red meat. I think you should eat just like very nutrient dense meat, and I think you should take multi vitamins just to all your bases, there's a bunch of like really good Greene supplements that you can add to water, or you know little packets. You could take tell your calories, so you just eat until you're, full yeah, really yeah. How many calories you think you today, I really don't know if you're the gas was ldl, because pretty lean
yes pretty lean and he looks like you're eating, maybe eight eating- maybe I probably elk without a day for sure the least yeah I mean I, you shoot when your foreign pounds of meat. I have some for you if you want. I definitely do I got a bunch of sausage Elk sausages sensational, really you'll love, it you'll love it yeah kind of it, I'm definitely up for that. Yeah! Okay! I got a bunch of the back okay. I got these freezer bags to take home with them, but I would say they just cut out the sugar in the bread and the pasta, and if you just do that, you lose a ton of weight, you lose a ton of weight. Just doing that, I mean this was gonna, be awesome. Damages vegetables to seat of you know, get yourself well, fucking, big bowl of broccolini and cook it with butter and olive oil and put garlic salt on it. It's healthy! It feels good when you eat it, your body, bonds well to it. You know just only good nutrients man and just rely
going to have to get a lot of rest and you're going to drink a shit ton of water, 'cause you're, going to be keeping up with some terrifying numbers one hard this month per car ready. Thirty one days, man, thirty one days, yeah the end ban cool, I'm not look amazing! Jacked shredded you gonna be like Skinny Burt like from that photo. I maybe maybe is it t r t to the few win. Do you know how you should do trt? Would you ever get your hormones test protested? She getting tested is to find out where you're at it will help everything helps your immune system helps your enerji levels. Really she concentration yeah, it's literally a hug of enhancing place. You can get to your t. W! Don't you got to do is look at that picture. It My 40th birthday, it was on my 40th birthday slender face see right there. You are like five pounds from being shredded
if you were right there and you lost five- you have a six pack. I did that cusp. I lost that weight in nineteen days. Wow see them problem is when you do that the YO yo you crap. Why is a picture of me shirtless run under Bert's picture this? That's me when I was like twenty six. Oh my gosh. I had that lets me on news, radio, twenty minutes, twenty seven you sexy some. What so the other problem is losing the clues in the way things are crash. The problem with the crash is see if you lose the weight over the months, because just burning it off like a madman but you're eating a lot, your body is not going to be in famine mode. Your body just going to be more efficient. It's going to need more hours and you definitely should lift weights. That's the one thing you should do over this more and lifting weights also add to this ice. My my plan is lifting weights,
kickboxing Running hills, yoga and then various cardio machines from the versa, climber to the rower to the echo bike. I'm going rotate the mall, so I can keep doing all of them, so I can do different ones. I got the my house, I got the the SALT Air Fitness trainer, don't deny yourself any food, though just pound food, yes, pound food, all the time, because you're just going to be going to be so hungry all right. I think you have above I do dumb. If I figure, if I do two days, and then and just go. I know what I got get a day: yeah yeah, so it keep going. Yeah, DOM Dom Dom rain is going to be great for all of us about that today, when I was when I was working on is like wow. This is up there. It's when you looking at the numbers on that thing. It's very motivational. You know it's, it's only before when I was in college, I ran and what was really fun. These studies, these runners journals, is to get. Can you run and write him in? Like
tracking your fitness tracking, your workout- is it's really fun to look at numbers and stack up it's looks like it feels like some like almost like a hoarders vibe or like an OCD vibe yeah, it's definitely better when it's on this app than it is. If you just know you worked out, yeah yeah hi is what I used to when we fitbit first came out. I used to get. I had to get to twelve thousand steps every day, and I would I would land from flight get into my hotel room, a bottle of wine and just start dancing, and weird as fuck like. If someone came and complained I they would think I was on math. Yes, it feels good feels good to set goals. But I always tell people like one of the best ways to get things done is to write things down. It is it's a. Huge motivating factor like you have a list of shit that you have to do today and check those bitches off and then, at the end of the day you feel good. Like you go to bed, you feel good. I checked off all those things on my list, I'm better. Now I feel better than I was before
I have a big list maker huge when you make a list, it really does organize day, but I will when I was shooting the chute at the pro thing. For my tour next week and I shot at this weekend in San Jose and and I was like I had all these different things I needed to do. My wife said, make a fucking list and I went oh yeah, so I wrote down all the shots. I needed that I feel like I didn't feel like I didn't get the night before and then just banged it out. I was like wow those fucking easiest shit. Yes, so much other than like trying to remember what what else do I need to do and then like half ass and it you know what you did. That's very impressive. You came up with a new hour, pretty fucking quick. You come up with a new hour. I came up with it. I may be like February six months. What did you do to ramp up? Your writing super aware. So my biggest thing for me, which I think helped me back and I
I've talked about this a lot, maybe a lot, but when you were in production brain you didn't have room for comedy brain like when I was making tv show, I never did have the room for comedy, and so I might be obsessed with football. So there might be something wrong with me when I'm in comedy brain and which is when I'm when I'm doing a special, it's focused on only that material like only Ariel, but when a doctor on the special I just went up and was like here. It's it was a most enjoyable time of my life is like everything was a bit walking around. I was looking for things and just being inspired by the littlest thing even to this day, but part of the reason I like to go over New York and do podcasts and fuck around. I was on Anthony Humanist Podcast. I came up with two bits in the moment then I was like do those are those are going into new environment and new feeling. Your brain is firing done not denying myself the opportunity of a bit because of it is silly or goofy or hacky. In my head I go that's okay, let's keep working that and so
I have right now. I have like fifty five minutes that I'm that I feel is really solid, but the goal now like we were talking Tom and talking about untangling. It is like we've it in so that one that follows the other one. So right now, I'm playing with these bits, putting the different places trying to figure out what to follow a bit. That's the funnest part also right and then once I do that, and once I have no, when I'm doing my next special hazards becomes less fun for me is like but I don't want to go to the store 'cause. I don't want to write new bits but like in the salad days when you just all writing a love that shit just growing up. Stage and going in LA and be like. I bought a gun and just going just
on the energy me like all minute. I'm in it, I don't know where this is going right, could lose them right right right, one by not me joking, I went bought a gun because I thought it would be a good bit. I went I went said: did you see that on stage you know you should, but that should be part of the bit? Are you serious yeah? Okay, yeah can done. I bought a gun, his I was driving Burbank and I was I get all this done talking I was like. I don't have any gun material I was like. I should buy a gun and I was like have a real gun nut on your podcast. To talk to you about guns. I should you know get get on locally in the war. I did that guy following around the two he was on my part, a good guy, yeah yeah, he's great and to be black yeah yeah in I'm gonna. I'm gonna be like the progress of guy. That makes it seem like there's something wrong, you're pointing it out. Yes, he happens to be an african no, but in that you have to bring it up in a culture that is so interesting that they it's almost like the. I feel I've like when he had Mister Michael on MAGIC Mike that MAGIC Mike
Killer killer MIKE on it was really cool to hear this to MIKE Magic Mike through their proper white guy MIKE it was cool here. Their perspective on it is culturally. You will see a comfort, an array come from this like white redneck, yeah, no he's well, you know he makes really good points, and I mean it wasn't a lawyer. He was a lawyer right I think he was yeah, but he makes really good points in terms of personal safety and responsibility. The thing like people who quit NRA with Mass shootings and all kinds other crazy shit, which is not really totally Eric is no NRA. Member has ever committed a mass shooting. You know whenever something happens, they think. Oh, this is all because these people, you know, want that. Other people have access to these kind of guns. That's the
real connection. As always an ad nauseam of talk about this too much is psychotropic drugs. Those people are almost all on some sort of psych medicine. Balls yeah is it caught? Is it because asian or correlation? That's? The problem? Is the psychotropic drug? This car is causing them to do this, or are they on psychotropic drugs? 'cause crazy and they shouldn't have a gun anyway, and it should be more difficult. One hundred percent and that there should be some sort of standards in terms of mental health in terms of weather. You've committed assault, whether or not like those kind of things, whether or not you have a history of mental illness, whether or not you have a history of lashing out. More violent, outburst. Yeah. Those kind of people shouldn't have guns that the kind of People
I think everybody should have access to it. Gonna, I think that's a little irresponsible, but the kind of people that think no one should have a gun. I think that's irresponsible to scratch crazy talk. I mean it's not going to happen in our country now not in this one, but you should have him on Matt or there's other gun nuts. I could turn you on to my friend Justin's alleged gun, not just him and him. Just in college he's been on my podcast for he's a diligent Chinese like seven feet tall, but he's a real gun, not he's LAS Vegas he has so many guns is not how many guns- yes, I don't know where to go. No, no! So I'm thinking of the the the fighter, Frank Mir is a big gun. Guy he's a giant gun guy, Frank Mir strapped everywhere. He goes Skellig one in his ankle, one up his ass for ten years of really
interesting guy, smart dude. He did not this is there something about cage fighters where there is there's a they're, very direct and they say what they mean and they mean what they say. Tate was the first person that ever ran into that was like that. He he texted me and I didn't text back any Texas. Again and then he texted, hey man, I'm starting get feelings about this text me back and then I was like well yeah, Frank Mir said he came to my podcast and we had a cigar what we do in the podcast and he just like touch- and maybe I'm such in this weird bullshit Hollywood world, where people don't mean what they say that I used to that and he goes uh. That was a really great cigar. We should do this. We should have another one. Ok he's like what are you doing it like eight tonight and I was like cigar, yeah sure I'd never see him again. He showed back up at seven hundred and fifty five he's like right in the car,
hello, my backyard we spoke. Another cigar is just talk, shows like he funny. This being sincere is an oddity. Yeah. Is this the world of acting? That's what it is in around these the world of auditions and actors in producers in exactly this, this this strange will bland. We live in man this right here. This is, it happens in other places, but it just is very prevalent here, yeah like where people just aren't genuine in their honest you, but this is like people just lick their finger and stick it out in the and try to figure out which way the wind's blowing and that's the way they go because everybody he wants everybody to. Like them out here, because everyone is auditioning for things, this is such a strange place. Man I saw my buddy Eddie is a like a man. You know the Cuban from Florida bill for this fight. His folks check, you know just a regular guy. I thank you. Ma'am actual man, he came up first time came out. There was a comic.
His name who was holding court at the Hollywood improv, and he was making fun of me like as the judge Ok, I was laughing and I was laughing. Yeah, my buddy Eddie just kind of looked sideways and we got in the car needs white. Why did you let that happen? I go he's he's super famous. I mean you know it's like whatever he's smaller than you when you just fucking knock him out, and I kill that's not how it works out here he goes yeah, it is it is. It does say that shit to me that's how it works, I don't know if you understand more than you just knock about and he's like dude. I don't like that. Disrespectful shit. I was like it's different out here and he goes no, it's not your dad is doing, is you're letting it be different. Well, it depends on how close you are with the guy, because, if you're really good close with the guy and he's saying funny things and you think they're funny- you laughing sincerely like we bust on each other, all all the time yeah. But it's not disrespect
so it's just hilarious. It's just, I think it's. I think everyone knows that we're all close friends in that it's our language, but there are people who are not. Your close friends, so they look at bird over there with global blue and then they'll start fucking with you and it gets a little slippery gross especially there's. There's a it's nurses and it's guys who believe it they just. They think the out for you. Yeah and it's funny. I definitely have change from that when you know when you're young and you're hungry in this business- and you want to succeed- you don't tell a famous guy, though might be able to give you work and then don't talk to me like that, because then you almost like blackball yourself right well, you've had so bad experiences. We don't need to mention any names. Have you had some bad experience with that particular comedian? That was like that word? You know, we've talked about it. There's there's mental mentally ill. People that are in this business to an ounce is. Does that it's tough, because I had yeah
like that. I feel like sometimes I draw the men yeah. I understand because you're so nice yeah- and I am I I but I'll say this- of myself, I'm very creative and I like to around I like to you know, and I think some people see that as a weakness. I I'd I'm there's someone that I'm told you privately that stole from me. There was a friend separate and it five men that, fucking makes me angry. So I go. I remember when it happened and I had already dealt with something else that was similar to that. I remember the my wife's Lake House. When someone texts me said a man. Did you give that joke? Does that person close like no man? It pulled this thing in my in my id that was like I remember thinking. Did you do you think I'm weak? Do you think I won't say anything. Do you think? Do you think that you can do it to me right and I didn't say anything I didn't say anything 'cause. I learn the first time around that it really almost like all these women that come out about sexual assault, it doesn't benefit you to come out and say that someone stole a joke from you. You just did Issaquah
still, I know I know, but it's coming. It's not coming forward thing. Where forward like you, look at him and said: there's no benefit and go people go bitches lie. I got another, don't there's not a lot of benefit to go and say being raped is now you're going. That's what to find us and you're you and you got to defend you so from something you didn't do to yourself, and so, when you get stuck from. Obviously it is a stretch, manipulation, but to come out and defend yourself. People do star attacking you go. Why would you even say anything to you? Just you just jealous? Well, you have to play. Self out on a limb. If you're talking about someone taking something like a joke for me too, because you have, you have to hope that people side with you so like say of some famous person, still something from you, you have to hope, when you come out that they're, not that a bunch of people going jump on his side and attacked you, which is totally possible and if they do
then you're in your out on a limb to that went through. I went through and I screen grab everything that was proof on up quickly, screengrab everything yeah. I got everything yeah all in all that I'll never do anything with it, but you know one man the good lesson is now that person you could write off forever. It's like what was it was of Goodfellas. Was it what was the movie like? You got off light like now. You know for twenty dollars at two dollars. Whatever is now the person. Never us talk to you again, yeah he good. You know you it. Sometimes it's sometimes when someone does something like that. You, like, okay, Now. I can write you off and read, write them off in a very interesting way. As a comic to know. You know or had it you never will. So what I have I can make more that shit. That's I do for a living
So when you really don't have any material and you don't know how to write, you don't know how to write new material. Oh shut the fuck up, so that's what you can't do suck a dick there's, a two there's two different types of mindsets: the type of mindset where someone like steals someone else's ideas and tries to pass them off as their own is the kind of the opposite mindset as to someone who's, creative 'cause when you create, if you're thinking about a bit and you're, not thinking about yourself and how the bit is going to work for you and how it's going to kill when get out there, but when you're stealing, if something like say, if you have a bit about lollipops and I go- I wish that was my bit. I'm going to steal that lollipop it that it's going to kill, and then I that lollipop in it crushes, and I call I feel so good when I do that lollipop it they get addicted to it. That's one of the things about people that get called out for bits and say I'm not going to do it anymore, and then I already did that.
Did at the laugh factory here, because they get addicted to get addicted to the reaction that bit gets so there you're addicted to coming up with new stuff like, and I am, and the people that try to be creative. What you're trying to do is you have trying to like summon these ideas out of the ether trying to pull them out of the air and then once you have them like. Ok, I got it in a bottle. I got in a bottle. Ok, now, I'm going to add things to it going to be I'm alive, I gotta Fuckin, Frankenstein and g it's alive and then one day, months and months later, you trot that bit out of the improvident fucking crushes and that is one of the most amazing feelings like someone like SAM Tripoli, color bill, Burr, come up and go dude I love that yeah just go now like its worked in. I got it's often if we, but we all love that about each other, to I love when someone's got a new bit and it goes a new. What is that bit? You know do food. Your last this hour that comes out to much tonight at midnight, I remember watch,
can you run it in the or at the infancy? Probably like eight months ago right when I was getting ready to in February when I was getting ready take my special. I saw you doing yours and I was like. Oh shit, is this your new material and you lookout get ready to film in a couple of months, and I was like oh like do that's the greatest feeling When use it as a comic in the back- and you want your friends just fucking murder, it's in spite, as you wish it. You haven't heard yeah yeah, that's the best yeah, but people that still never get that they will never get it they're missing that the it's sad. It's it's a sad thing, because that they're always gonna have to live. This weird lie. You know it is the weird lie of creativity. Is creativity is so slippery and you can't be thinking about yourself. That's not what it's about it's the op! Is it about that? It's all about the idea, it's all about how it gets to the people, it's all about how it works, like you have to like take yourself literally out of the equation, but the people steal it's all about them, it's all
of them getting a good feeling doing someone else's bid, and I really think that that there's there's this weird balance to the world, and I think when you, when you do that, I think it takes away from your ability to do. The other thing takes away from your ability to be creative. I would almost argue on the exact opposite: when a bit gets up and running and murderous, I almost feel like I'm lying to the audience like I'm cheating going going like you know it like I've been doing it too long. I have a hard time doing said to the store. When I'm, when I got my already, I don't, I don't go in there for a minute, I'm still a spot from. Someone who can use it and I'm just going up with shit that works like come on: Burt yeah, but you're, giving the audience a good time and you're keeping everything sharp. That's the other thing like once a bit is done, it's you can't just leave it alone If I had it today, go up and do my Bruce Jenner Bit, I wouldn't,
able to do it, I don't know how to do it. I haven't done it in two years. I literally wouldn't be able to do. It is one of my best bits ever and I wouldn't I wouldn't know where to start. I would have to go back, listen to it and then I would have to go. Do it a bunch of times and get it polished again? It's really fun, though, do when someone calls at a joke that you haven't told me years and you're like I did it this past week. I do if I, our twenty five minutes, show our 20th show where I do my new hour and then at the end, whatever bits I want to hear I'll, tell that's nice and uh it's two men shows so I have someone to fifteen minutes and I do the rest and that way I feel like people definite and here flying dildos with a machine or, and someone called about mexican kid in the elevator, and I was like whoa haven't done that since, like my first special remember how to do it, I didn't and supplies I started doing it and I was like, and I was, and I just kind of you're. My muscle memory goes back in and then you're like and you're, so much better of a comedian. Now that the things that you would have never said back thanks, you didn't know how to do it. You just
we're adding adlibs in an it just kills and you're. Like shit man, I had a guy come on stage once he asked me do a bit, I don't remember how to do a bit. It goes. I do. I go get up your bitch so probably about stage, and I had him kind of do the bit I go yeah. I remember that part. Ok, ok, you know. I saw some guy on Instagram he goes- he was doing my machine bit as a joke. Like he's open, mikres, maybe ten time onstage whatever and his friends, I guess we're fans- and he was like twenty two I got involved with machine or with the russian mafia, here's how it happened and they all started laughing because I'm just kidding I ain't doing that shit, but it made me giggle 'cause. He missed he misspoke is not the way. I say it. I got. I got shuffle with the russian mafia or something and it made me giggle- that's hilarious, yeah, yeah, it's weird how people interpret when you do. Something
and then that people really like it and they take it, may make clip about or something or the add something to it or the the one of the weirder things he's been the animated ship. The people do yeah and now sees like you go you let it. We were talking about this, the other day that when you're in this room and you doing this podcast just seems like you and me are talking and that's one of the reasons why it works or me and whoever else is here, but the for the people that I hear it you're, the not the actual numbers that you're dealing with this you deal with millions of people like that. Doesn't seem to register in your head and then you'll see these clips, an issue like these memes. You see these videos and you see like these animated shorts, and you see people do impressions of you and you're like wait. What what the fuck is it takes, and then you see people get tattoos of your face on their ass or something like that like.
On your calf to get. You smiling your beard on your other cafe like what the fuck the machine Yes, I do to have that Russian T shirt tattooed on his body, and that you made with the machine with the russian language with you like looking off into space, one of the insane swearing at the tennis, especially like I mean do when I, when I saw that movie Joe Rogan, is Roger again I was just used guys a wizard. Whoever did that shit. I had gotten on a show in ox nard and my kids were in the other room, my wife there's a new one out with you know I just reposted it with Burt stops talking shit that made me that made me giggle so hard I could not, and I just got in, I was in a room by myself by families. Another room, and I I was
dude. I wish I hope this guy knows how much joy he just gave me like. Whenever I was thinking about you know like my set or whatever I'm dying, fucking laughing. I would like to thank you man, let's them on effort that it takes to listen to so much audio, that you can have a conversation play back and forth between a dude and his self. Like you know my videos that guy must have to listen to and how much editing he had to do to do that. Do not wanna fanboy out, but I'm a huge fan and it cuts to you. I was pissing myself, I literally hit you know what like when you get excited, and you like, I think you would send it to me- maybe maybe, but someone said maybe only sent it to me and I'm it was too late, but I wanted to text everyone and go. I want everyone to see this and then, when it cut by the way, I'm already giggling some then Cut to me is the mangy chimp. I fucking, howling. I am howling and I'm excited hairless gym, like oh geez. Look balls under particular rip your dick off yeah, no fuck,
and then, when he just did the new one, I'm going to go pick up my daughter when he just to the new one of me drinking. This is thirty to thirty five yeah, this poem from that time warp. It really is the time warp and when the fuck do you ever sit down talk to somebody for three hours. So best is the best thing about these pod. So that you literally sit and catch up and bite, break balls and giggle come up with brilliant Chan challenges. Students changed me change me as a person my, but my ability to communicate is so much I'm just so much better at it than I was nine years ago when I first started doing this really are there. Is I mean I I I can say this as a fan, I think anyone who listens. I've been listening to podcasts always is in the podcast. You've changed immeasurably in all most of the most renaissance way is like you have conversations with people. I wouldn't know what the fuck they even do, but there's still. Hence, if exactly who you are very measured in what you say and how you put out your ideas, you listen your way. Interchange. I remember when you stop saying faggot. I remember like when you like. You know what I think, I'm going
Stop saying that on like in conversation, I remember I was like. Oh that's a good idea. Maybe I should stop two. We were in the old death squad e where W was it? Oh in Pasadena, yeah, yeah! Well, the problem is it fun thing to say, and you don't mean it in a homophobic way, it's still fun to say I still about every non age like a fine wine? It's a fun thing to say, but the problem is the way it makes. Other people feel it's not fun. It's and language should be about intent. It's should be about you're, conveying your intent through a sound, but the problem is it's not working correctly like if someone is hearing it on the other end and it's making them angry anyway, but now I'm silly, I'm being silly about it. I'm a silly faggot
like no? No, no! He can't like okay. Well, it's not. This is an effective use of sound to convey my thoughts yeah and is it worth it to piss people off you know? Is it worth it like? What would happen with Tommy and the way word retard, which he's not calling anyone that it's not the the bid is about forbidden language he literally all he said in that bit was you're not allowed to use that word anymore and in saying that there was massive protest. There's all these people freaking out They don't even want you to order the sound it's a real problem, because that kind of thinking is nonsense like this, it does say that it can't be used ever, but you can't it may that it's a word like you cannot say it. You cannot utter it, but it's abracadabra that it's a magic word. You can't even bring it up conversation to understand that we are changing. So this word whatever the word is
that you can't say it anymore, because people remember they were trying to get rid of bossy. Remember: bossing, oh yeah yeah. They were trying to say that boss is a sexist word. You shouldn't use bossy abandoned it, but it's that point is that they'll try to find something to be offended by and they'll try to put whatever. That word is into this forbidden category, and then you have so many words in that category, that it's gonna be crazy and then you've noises that you can't make. I think the real thing that's going to change. I really think this is going to happen. Is we're going to figure out a way to bypass language is going to be a way to directly convey information to people without language, and it's gonna happen through some sort of tech, analogy and Elon Musk is talking about it on the podcast or something called neural link that he's working on that some sort of really revolutionary way to increase bandwidth between you
new and ideas and how ideas get to your head isn't going to be something that you wear and I think that's going to be like step one and then you're going to be able to do that from person to person- and I think you know this were so invasive now, with social media like it so and and cell phones, an electron, everything is in your life and people are getting closer and closer to each other, and one of the side effects is that of that, is that people now realize they can hurt. You so they can attack you easier in there and they can tear things down the light things on fire because they can not necessarily because it's a wise thing or it's a measured thing, or it's really well thought out thing they're doing it just because it's a new saying that they can use like you gave a champ in Ak47 and they just started. Shooting up the jungle mean really. That is what a lot of people are doing with social media, but I think that is just a stage and that eventually we're going to bypass language. I really do I really think that yeah this is gonna, be like Mochis. The medic can communicate
through, like a form of hieroglyphics. Almost this is a conversation I need to have on November fifth, when I'm high going to be baked baked drunk fucked up November. Fifth, I can't fucking wait, let's wrap this up, so we kind of have a parameter, will figure it out as we go along. I've got a written all right here, I'll, take a picture and leave it here, alright, but This is a figure. This is awesome. This is awesome. It's going to be awesome. The bell is going to be this shit. 'cause we're gonna have that belt every year. Yeah. I can we get up deluxxe belt too fat, leather, brass, beautiful, alright! you're special tonight at midnight midnight tonight. It's called the strange times. It's amazing relive us all the material, the store thanks I'd say over excited for you, man, I'm sorry too nervous to by everybody. Thank you, everybody for Tunis, the podcast and thank you very much to our sponsors. Thank you to square space, the host of Joe Rogan dot com, any phenomenal way for you to make your own website and you could try that shit out for affray. Why fuck around you need a website? Well then, just
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text to Linda Pritchett, fuck out of you and will see you soon.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.