« The Joe Rogan Experience

#1279 - Jessimae Peluso

2019-04-08 | 🔗
Jessimae Peluso is a stand-up comedian and television personality. Checkout her podcast called "Sharp Tongue" available on iTunes & Stitcher.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the program this episode is brought to you by square space, the host of joerogan dot com maybe soon the host of your website, you can make your own now used to be hard. It used to be you had a code yet and get a learner, a program that did it. It always looked whack It was on windows. If you made for a MAC That's not anymore! Now with square space. If you have regular computer type skills, you know how to move files around on the desktop. Can you do that? Okay? You can make an amazing website, you can't they have beautiful templates and simple, easy to use, drag and drop user interface than even a I'm dumb, like me, will understand- and you can use that to sell products and services of any kind. Each website comes of the free on line store and they have powerful Ucommerce functionality that, let's you sell anything online. So if you're thinking about starting a business, you could do it with square space
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it's got a taste similar to coffee, so the three and very well together, and it doesn't make you jittery it's good. I, like it from coffee comes an easy to use and care a single serving packets. You can stash them at your desk or in your gym bag, and you we have a special offer for listeners. This podcast. You can receive twenty percent off your four sigmatic order. When you go to four sigmatic, dot com slash Joe Rogan or use the discount code, Joe Rogan, at checkout? That's fo! U R S! I g M, a t, I c e dot com, Slash Joe Rogan or use the discount code. G Rogan at checkout for twenty percent off. Today's a hilarious stand up comedian, good friend of mine, from the comedy clubs of LOS Angeles and you I have seen her on girl code and a bunch of different things. She's awesome! Please give it up
friend Miss Jessie, Mae Peluso, Joe Rogan, train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, really centered for sure I sent him, it happened, we've been having comes with our tricaster doesn't want to try it's like not today. Every third show it don't: just wired won't go live. I centered the Cheeto I sent you did you make it happen. They wear wake and bake day. I don't do this, you don't know now I get it done. First, usually, can you not shut down. When you wake and bake, I kind of a cough things if I get if I get hired by o'clock in the morning like what's what's important, really I get stuff done.
I have like you know I'll. Do like my cup of coffee in a joint and I'll get some stuff done. I joke that. It's like makes me super motivated to do not a god. Damn thing, but I get stuff done. I mean all the stuff I get done. Is I like vacuum seven times, That's my apartment like four times the other data met thing you sure someone is not sleeping meth into your green. That's not put all the rumors out there now, but you got any petty. Bravo used to say that about girls like he would if he was dating cousin, Eddie used to work at a Strip club, and he did a lot of the gals that were performers there, and he said you really know when the girls a meth head. Could you go over house? It's clean, she's, always clean, and they could never clean enough. Maybe I'm a method or just a virgo, apparently speed freaks, not method for speed freaks when people are on speed. Maybe coffee is the thing that does that to me and then I just get focused from the weed there's, not one ounce of dog hair in my house really ship fresh, that's crazy! You have like fifty dollars, you're crazy dog lady, I Om3 dogs wait, don't you have like a pack,
get chicken in your backyard stood I used to some coyotes gotta mall. I thought you were up with a bow and arrow though we had an issue where our chicken coop burnt to the ground. Oh Fox, those fires, you on your ladies. No we didn't they, they manage to fly out and they were in the yard. We lost, two of them, because they wouldn't we couldn't round them up to get them into the chicken pen because we got a new chicken, but it wasn't as big and then good for eight. Those two and then they realize that they're all in this one pan and one day we're gone. They opened it up and got in and killed. None of them how they, how they open him up, pulled it apart with their teeth, yellow dogs, listen, went to mystic ones, domestic, but they're smart, difference between coyote and a domestic dog is like the difference. A hardened criminal on death row and a baby one hundred percent right,
the experience and what to do to survive on the server and murder. They don't have a house. There is feeding them food, I mean they're little wall yeah and and it's like literally a dog eat dog world out there yeah. What was the gentleman and Dan Cody America, the the author, God damn was he like a doodle lived amongst the world's yes Dan, no he's wildlife biologists in the historian yeah. He was talking about the history of coyotes and wolves in North America. Apparently all wild dog species came from North America even like jackals that, like they made it across over there, somehow like during the pan.
Period or some show me Pangia do not. That is it's an era! No it's well when they think that all of the continents were connected together, yeah we are one. We were one flat earth and there was one flat table flat. No, no, it's obviously not a giant chunk and then the rest was water and then it spread out, which is fucking, weird, was happening. How did that in? Like also is that happening on our insides on, like it's obviously on a cellular level of the things just splitting and being torn apart is here's the the modern Pangia map turn the modern country separations Latkes. Oh, this is what it looked like in the broader. I thought this is there's more out there talking to bed. She was still real America, which is that I thought there was some knuckleheads. I thought that is that really all of the continents together. Well, it shows you how much God Dam water. There is so much better at some einfach yeah 'cause. You really like to think that we're all dirt and not as it's water, it's so
which water, it's all water, it's like a little speck in a huge s ocean that was really crazy. Stills ground dwelling mutherfuckers have figured out how to suck all the fish out of that water. I know it's crazy that just to be able to get those suckers out, sometimes with their bare hands, and then they were like YO. We need something. We need the smaller situation, I think until they came up with the nets and stuff like that, I don't think they were real effective. I think they just got what they got and they ate that, but the populations were fine, but in the last whatever one hundred and fifty years, they've been using nets, they just jacked out whole OSHA, What do you think happened to do to figure out like the hook? He probably get all the pussy in town, the doodle I like Cook, the fish she's getting all those fishies, he was getting the ones that were way deep. What the kind of pussy that you would get back When you invented you don't want it in your modern mind, you don't back then you're like YO. This is fresh fresh. It only smells like must.
Intending to become an american welcome to new nothing. I will for sure yeah I coming to my room. Let's guess how long ago do you think they invented the fish shark? They even know how I'm going to say it's a really old invention. World Arrowhead yeah exactly like native before pre native American. Those pitches would just break if you think about a big fish hooking like a little thin wood bone, probably must be you think be too heavy thinking, would also break? I want to be able to hook it well yeah, it must have been bone. Yeah bones get brittle, especially after like you know they're off the body and they start to calcify and all that
I! How old do you think it is? It's got a really old juniper. What it says. Juniper wood was the first one time one two twenty three. Thousand years ago yeah the phone screen is there made from sea snail shells the other crazies, a bunch of informational, put together this in okay now island data between twenty two thousand three hundred and eighty and twenty two thousand seven hundred and seventy in that crazy. They get that close they're, basically in in an interview know give are take eight thousand and ninety years, one hundred years later in that neighborhood, it's like the is it carbon dating. I mean that's the only thing I remember from high school. How do you and how do you date it back? Do they find it like forensic thing where they grab a fly and they're like yeah? This was six years ago. 'cause of the Jews is on the wings. I think there's like a bunch of factors like one of 'em is the dirt that's around where they find it like. If they find on the ground. Then it's covered with dirt over hundreds and hundreds of years. That could take some of that dirt and left
yeah? They can see what's in it they're trying to test. I think wow, that's crazy. I want those earrings. Is that a fish hook that's how the shells yeah those are fresh Those are really nice. I would rock those. Would you the store all this fishhook found in Okinawa wow twenty three thousand years ago. That's crazy, so they're saying that the oldest fish took his link to the Norwegians, I would say Japanese. This is okay. Now, what yeah norwegian thing was saying that and up until the nineteen fifties there were they were losing I mean yeah I'm going to ease, makes sense. I wonder if they all figured it out the same time different spots in the world. You know whether it's one of those things like You know, like the there's. A some weird thing who is that is that Rupert Sheldrick is the more fake residents dairy. You get this weird theory that I think the idea set of some rat learns amaze on the EAST Coast rats on the It's will learn that maze quicker. What how like a like a little now,
so consciousness amongst the rats as weird as it sounds, there might be some sort of strange connection that all share and not just all rats but all living beings. His argument was that if this is damage tradable with a rat in a maze that, if they did something like with human things if they can figure out a way to to prove this? It's likely what's happening. Is it like he was. He brought up a bunch of different factors, like inventions that are simultaneously taking place like all over the world, but one and strange you should attribute so that education right like yeah? Definitely it's going on like that, the the trends that are happening in education but like, but they also think there might be something else going on underneath the surface like different realm like if you learn, if we're all a species and you're on one side of the world. You learn something the people on the other side of the world have like greater access to it in some weird
that's really bizarre yeah that I don't that freaks me out. Let's like Matrix the right there, it's also unprovable you bring it up to have real scientists to get upset with you. But what's interesting, though, is the map the map thing, the maze thing with mice and rats the because I think that's safe. That's been proven a pretty short mass thing that that, if you do show amazing tour at on one side of the country. They learn it quicker. On the other side, I don't understand how that can even be a thing Well, there's another one, that's really interesting, but I don't know how much of this is just 'cause. They didn't observe it before, but they've noticed that apes are starting to use tools like cell phones. Text each other. No, not that. Yet what I want monkeys using tools. I wants to go home. No, but apparently the use tools like to get like they'll stick sticks into ant hills to get ants
also use rocks to break things open for money, when I before I would imagine AIDS would follow suit, I think they have the. What they're saying is they're, saying officially that they've to get into the stone age. Oh boy, if we are watching if you sort of human evolve from b and a person that you know what we, whatever the we used to look like when I first figured out fish hooks grinding to today. You know the many many generations of change and all also to different that we learned that we are watching literally the birth of that separation between like the regular chimps that are just chilling in the forest to the chimps. Starting to figure out tools and weapons. Right, like the first day, we see a champ make a fucking sharpen it up and stay. Have another chimp to death,
yeah ST chance to become an woke. Is that what's happening? I think they're coming in in light and and smarter? I don't think just chips was one within a rank. Ten. It was amazing. I was spearfishing. No, do you got to see a nightmare? I mean it's really great, but like it's, a beautiful thing can be walking down the highway with a like a briefcase. Soon, I don't think it's going to be there you're freaky man that freaks me out, but it is so we're witnessing evolution, they're learning things and this one. I think their issue was that this orangutan had watched fishermen do this, so he apparently watched some fishermen like Stan on the ledge and stab fish, so I decided to try to figure it out himself. That makes sense. I mean that's how all creatures, essentially I mean puppies kittens they all learn is just to be it's to a limit. They don't get past. That sort of being able to use tools, get the picture that was a while. It is bringing a video too. So I thought there might have been had video of it, but I'm my dog opened his mouth. It is dog food container. When I was gone
a twist a twist yeah. I don't know how you did it. I got to get a camera. I I came home and then top was twisted. Often is Kelly was like. Look at that other picture, Ranga Tang Spearfishing! I mean that's crazy. If you saw that in a movie, you would say that it's fake so that looks like a still jungle book It's amazing. It's amazing we should get that photo framed, we get up to that photo, and let's do that. Really cool frame, so the frame I talk about this picture all the time that is so wild, so fascinating. It really looks like the jungle book. You know Have you ever had your 23andme done? I don't want I don't want to know about it, but like how accurate is it you know it's like. What's with this science, in a trust, a piece of paper that comes back. I wanted to go to the lab and see who's doing this like. How do you know you're, not just getting some like you know,
general packet that they're sending back to you. How do you know Why would they do that because they got your money? Why would anyone do anything? Why are mutherfuckers throwing fits? in grocery stores. People are crazy. You know we're talking about. If you get high yeah, you get a little bit just a little a little bit psychotic like the something yeah something happens, yeah and you really do like it enter the world. Schizophrenia, yeah, you just did it. How do I know this science is good? How do you know yeah yeah? I did it, what did it say, all kinds of stuff, mostly stuff? I knew that I'm mostly italian and irish, but they they put Irish and English together, which I thought was interesting. I've one point percent african fifty seven percent more neanderthal traits than the average person. I could've told you that I couldn't without even the blood work. I saw that I saw the paperwork in. Like the figures, I mean a new name wrong. Look at that! Look at that face. Look at that
but you're. Definitely neanderthal you're, like you're a link, that's missing for sure. No, it's just Italians in general and don't be angry italian people, I'm I'm Sicilian was strange monkey folk, right. That should be your next special title. So this is when I was in ITALY. We had a cab drivers and cab drivers would like to stick their head out. The window stare at someone's asked like will go to is a mod on this slow down, speed up these fucking guys there there smooth, but it's just it's just their savage they're like and then I thought about it was like well, of course they are like they used to be Romans yeah. They used to be hunkered everyone, but me, but you're managing how gross life must have been like back then, with people gross. It's great.
Now, but it's really gross then without plumbing and I will say years, toilet seats. Are the warmest I've ever sat on? Thank you very much so compared from here to the roman era, yeah nasty yeah. What did they do that There are oil? Their ship, though, went through the streets right in that part of the problem. That's why everybody was infected. In second, I mean there's no system. They couldn't figure that out mulch. You know maybe like fertilizer to pour over it, but that was it. You know what it was like is like people throw their cigarette butts on the ground. Like someone clean it, someone else will clean it. Some little. You know and will grab it some old, poor kid, but I mean so perspective. They were just in their own little yeah. They did no. They did not know they were living as sophisticated as anybody that ever did was new shitholes. Where you shared. That's a shad hole and you around a bunch of other shadow machete.
So, let's all sit together, you put in your toes and you get a pedicure. That's what that little things like spread, your toes apart. Do you think that those folks had like curtains in between them when they shot? No, we look at that. Look at that corner seat, another one upper right there. How about that? One is touch and everybody's touching shouldn't there year, yeah they're, all they're all just in and having a conversation talking about the latest gladiator sports. Now. Can you believe the tiger God? I'm? I don't know I sound when we were there. They were talking about the front rows. The front rows were all the rage. Build people sat to watch the Coliseum, and that was when, if a tiger did get out, that's really usually got to those people and killed a bunch of home. But the IRA Ironic just there. A front row seat and then nature, like cow gotcha, gets part. Look at that there are jerking each other off, oh my god, they're shooting in sandals. Of course, they did everything in sandals who's the with the satchel all the way on the left, okay covering his okay. I get it
it and uh. Oh, I bet that's not true, but dogs didn't shithole. We got all this shit on the floor, shift on everything so loud, Is there like? What are the spoons for? eating should scooping the poop out of your butt spoons too. In case it gets all, probably scoop the water out disgusting, facts probably would schoolhouse water, oh boy, who's, this guy. Some guy would have video and discussing things yeah, you guys have the nicest toilet here ever I can't imagine I mean what was sex like back then, even though they were in their own era and their perspective is limited because of you know, just where they're at it still must have been gross, it's gotta be disgusting. They must have smelled. There's no soap, there's no soap? No! Well, they must have had someone point up. It was Like you know it just wasn't as fancy as our soaps. There's no deodorant the just oils in water. What is going on, Jamie against this order. Sharing that spoon thing, I can't
What is this poutine? That guy looks like he's in a real moment like with or if the guys are on it looks like little Dicky in Cosby. Here's the other thing too. Why not be a little further apart voice? yeah. Why are they so close? He fell with the robe, How are you screwed over there's a couple extra stalls here that spoon you wanna be reached? maybe for that spoon on your butt to break these loose. He was down a couple of seats, but home we needed a hand to hold. I think with that is. Is that would take that spoon and they would wash their hands and use their hand to wash their, but that's so Barb That's why I think you're not supposed to shake hands with your left hand in some cultures I think takes it but wiping and yeah, so you would take the water you pour it in your hand. If I had to guess and you lather your butt hole that's discussed. I mean why not grab a leave. Those aware Leafs anyways is Alvin. When these, when they come a point, a couple did around the only sure and leave outfit. I think the leafs. This
then the added to those of roman statues. When people got mad about the they got a little weird, they got a little modest they were set, their modest, then without any plumbing. Well, I think they! is decided additional bad somewhere along the line. I decided that along time ago, so they had a sponge on the end of a stick, they would no sounds great man, No! No! No! No! so you robot sponge, since we got these toilets that actually clean your butt with warm water when you press a button on the nicest, but it's also clean it's like what are we doing smear around? All your do. Like smear and some of it off everywhere on your Christmas on the handles shift, came out of your nose. Would you be comfortable just smearing it like that? I'm just going to go.
Why are we in Rome? Are we in right now Ventura ca, yeah? No, I'm a very clean person. I wet nap bong hole whenever I can all day long, keep it crisp good, keep it crisp and clean. Do you think that you would use those toilet thanks hell. No, you wouldn't absolutely not you'd, see me crap in the world. I mean this one, the one we have are you kidding me? That's the most luxurious challenge. I've ever taken in my life, there was like a remote control. That's like the upper echelon of society, crap right there. It's very fancy! It's not that expensive! Really! No! It's not! I mean for what it does. It's like very, very valuable at first. I was confused because there's a couple on Dell: what's it called Bron Bron L, Brown Brown, don't yeah save, give give some some love, I think it was for free too there's a remote there too, with a bunch of settings. Brondell yeah it's a very nice toilet and that's like a model from like many years ago. They have it nailed. They had a nail
oh no! No! These are recent. These are ones that we bought when we got the studio right yeah. It wasn't. Too hot either didn't feel like someone was just sitting there. You know ever have that experience where it's like, there's a but just here, but there's a pleasure that you don't want Well, I don't want to feel good I'd rather see the uninviting and cold day here. All the banks here is long since abandoned while the crabs. Do you do you, like only crap in certain places where you go 'cause on the road? You travel a lot like you, just gotta go with you, gotta! Do what you gotta do what you gotta! Do, I'm not scared discriminating in public, no, not even just being Joe Rogan and like being next to the person. Who's like booty gonna do I heard roses: shooting bathrooms like Venice Beach, though, are you going in there Are these public toilets in Bethpage see whenever you deal, then that smell of homeless that why no pee smell, that is Rome, there's a thing where she got pissed so close that people wearing forever? You know that
super ripe, pungent, homeless, crazy person smell it's it's it's the most fixed now, ever it's a weird smell, but then you get really Su Amor, but it's real similar like this is what what what you get? It's usually a person It's got mental illness and they pist themselves or ship them selves and get this really deep horrible. Older to them even know it's so similar, similar like same it's like the same smell like bo like really bad bo is almost always the same kind of smell right, exactly which comes first of all, that's the main reason why I've never been to fish constantly. Whenever I would imagine yeah, we're just using salt rocks to clean our pit. You know out that modern modern industrialized, you is really just a plot. It's just a plot. You know what else like further to your point. They really
views, it chemicals and ingredients. So this is like cruelty. Free, free, free, free nobody's like offended. Well, they make the product yeah. You need to get it all natural now, which is like rocks very seen, those there like mineral rocks, are supposed to rub your armpit work for she work at all smell. Like a salty homeless person, yeah. What is this salt in your pits? Work is that people who know it works if you don't have a deodorant or anything lemon citrus. It's a you know, anti bacterial natural notion, yeah that makes sense, but some oregano oil and that's it also anti microbial natural anisette. Antiseptic eucalyptus oil is trapezoidal some men in your nether regions, so that might hurt my hurt. The coach coach You made any of a so called defense soap, it's all made with natural oils yeah the best the I is designed for ground,
blurs 'cause grapplers get like skin, scratches scratches and infections, and a lot of ringworm and ship row so bunch times yeah I've had ringworm, about staff twice, and I had ringworm, I think three times more like three times 'cause I've had it on my feet, which is basically the same thing. You poke your finger and poop in scratch. Right, that's science. You are a doctor clearly that affect his wrongdoing. Warm like from like it's poop bacteria. I don't think so. I think is just a parasite and it's what happens is it gets through. I think through broken skin scratch skin and then it forms this weird ring like a like a bullseye dude, fucking gross. I can I can't deal with it like shows like the monsters that live inside of me. I don't want to know more. Someone sent me a link. It was Josh will sent me a link about the the little. Like might
that are in your eyelashes, I can't even handle people in their cars in the four hundred and five. I don't want to know about sucking mites in my eyelashes. Imagine if you could just see on the four hundred and five as you drive and how many people have lice dude cars. There should be that's the future. That's what we need. I don't want to know your followers. I want how many license you have in your fucking neck is a weird one this is around when I was a kid, but it's not around! First of all, I can't get anymore. Thank you know: you're super moon of Lice free, you're impervious to lice, but when I was a kid I was like one see this life thing out, because apparently adults don't get it so I'm going to who really know what
Hardly ever have. Last time you had your hair check for life. Well, I'm not hanging out napping in a kindergarten where children are riddled with it, but if I did, how are the kids getting it 'cause they roll around going head to head talking about. You know just gotta, be patient zero. What the fox going on with Paige Station zero! Some little kid, probably some rich kid whose parents neglect him and he's had been there for a long time. Yeah he's got rich lice rice marijuana funny stored perception. It really does it does it's kind of it's an amazing amazing medison. For your brains, super weird when you're not high, and you watching, people that are not this is seems unattractive. Right now now we're both sides. All three of us: let's write Jamies high to very responsible oven mitts on your shirt, Jamie makes you want, like a grilled cheese sandwich. I don't know why What is that? Johnny cupcakes cool
when it be amazing of grilled cheese. Sandwiches were super good for you, God it's my one thing that I just it's my food. Like the one saying french fries measure, french fries were the it's like when they found out that it actually turns your age back back, tries to trick that work, yeah 'cause, it's the fry part, that's the worst! If you just said the sweet potato, fries, Bakom, you're, good, that's bad! I don't. I think it depends. What kind of oil you cook it under, but I think, whenever you cook anything in hot oil, there's something about the way the oil breaks down, that your body is like what I think it far Synergetics. Doesn't it I don't know, but I like, when you use big words, I could I could you pretend you're a doctor again matching this? Is your doctor doctors like hey? Do you think I should I eat french fries doctors like, I think it's carcinogenic right God, dam!
this health plan, Fuckyou Obama, flux your Sigur pay care. You know that you can't afford healthcare come over my house I'll, let you know if your carcinogenic or not there's something real gross about people that are like. Oh, you know, get better healthcare go get better. Okay, like it's just readily available, that's one of the grossest ones! When you don't you don't feel for? citizens are our community. They don't have health care now, I've I didn't have health, forever yeah? I got We could go in and booked all the appointments. Did you everything I got the kitty cat checked got the teeth. Act. Nice eyes. Were you worried about the tf you have. The feeling, like you, have a cavity like phantom cavity like Shitya. Is my tooth hurt to have a fucking cavity? I definitely did my teeth were like crevasses OJ bunch cavities. She filled me like four times. 'cause I haven't been 'cause. Healthcare is ridiculous.
I wasn't eating candy again all these holes in your face. I don't know I think, like you know, changes in my life. Maybe I got ringworm from you to change. Change. Change is yeah little kids get all the time they do go. Do the Roland r I'm going to blow away blow your mind away. Hookworm is super common in the S, Ann It literally diminishes your capacity for thinking so like idea but looks like those rod Southerns in person Theo. No no I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to do that. I would never have her on bro. You know I love you. I love you no, not yet, but maybe people feel know his relatives have yet to say they feel VON Voice, like maybe a few people that I know yes yeah there were all hookworm. What so, how do you get hookworm walking around barefoot? I mean that
It's just too many opportunities to get these warms your body all for sure. That's so gross when you see dudes who go to like some foreign country in the get scratched and they come back, a bot flies gonna they're in their bellies wind down. He just died recently in India. I think it was India. He got a in fact. Action, he was having headaches and it turns out worms from pig feces had made it all. Way up into his brain and they were making cysts all throughout his brain yeah when he died shortly thereafter. They said it was so bad, they couldn't even give him deworming medication because of they did there. His brain would start bleeding and that you would suffer from a stroke what I am not going to sleep tonight all is warm talk. Certainly reverse pull those pictures up. They have pictures of the dudes brain
it's just like filled with cysts God. Why are we looking at him? 'cause we're dying. It's like ten in the morning. You know what I was saying before I forgot to bring my fanny pack. You gave me one of your fanny packs and I travel with that everywhere. Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoy it, it's the most trying to spread the resource full thing ever. This is my fanny pack. Right now can wear this for the same. One in a couple of people have talked some shit and I was like you better step back step back step back Pharmacy in there I've got my whole thing, so I can be a doctor on the road. Have a stethoscope I kinda scalpel. What's up, he complained of having pain in his groin and swelling in his eye, and then they found out. He had all over his brain. I mean I have pain in my groin every week, but look at his brain on the the right I'm assuming as a result is different views of both different. Those little holes or all cysts inside his brain yeah, his brain is literally imploding,
although those little spots, those little white spots, those are all little cysts inside his brain. That must have been painful, fuckin', pure agony, it must be pure, and this was in India. You said what country was this man of India yeah suck that in just imagine like people having not the access to healthcare in this country, but we're a little bit modern being in one of those countries and being poor, your fuct yeah. You really are your sofa, looked by swallowing microscopic eggs past in the feces of a person who has intestinal pork tapeworm. I never going to brunch again but think about that's, not even just pork tapeworm, it's the egg. Is in the shape of a person who has the tape it and see what God Jesus
Holy Health, get in your mouth and should I smoked a joint before this year? I am in a pure panic attack. You don't eat acid in India unless that person is an anti tapeworm, medication also never eat. As again I mean this is a PSA for anti acid eating. It is, I told you I had Ecoli a few weeks. Yeah that was my life will change me. The there's been a change in the way that the pork industry is going to be doing inspections at the government's going to stop doing. It apparently have like early May and the She is now taking over, so that'll be variable here. That's just if you want this is one of those things where people that are all in favor of deregulating everything you need to understand this shit. Like this happens. If these people cut corners, and we know people who cut corners before. Maybe it's not all of 'em, maybe most of them are going to be great. People are going to die, people are going to get sick they're going to get gonna, get all sorts of up things. Forty percent and replace
then my God, in the number of federal inspectors, by about forty percent, that is such a well looks like America and everywhere is going to get a whole bunch of hookworms. This is having the mafia police, the so then taking away be known. Ms slaughter line, slaughter line speeds so gross no one's trying to make it quicker. Pork is a weird one. Here's a weird one is too risky man. It's way too risky. Not even that I mean it. There fucking smart yeah with one of the weird things they smart, like a dog like a five year old. Aren't they maybe not your kid. Like a five mile. Wow shots fired wow. So doctor real doctor fired right into my reproductive heart, your five year old, be like what do you think he'd be like stoner. Hey good point be rude
they probably right. I'm sure you, I'm sure you have a great five year old. My kid will be chill. You know what he would be beating up your kid, but he made very nice. She be surprised. My parents were hippies. I know it's true. I do know that yeah, my mom's a super hippie, so we stepped up, but port yeah eating pig is weird 'cause. They are very intelligent creature there, but here's the other weird part about you, gotta, kill him because they breed like crazy. And in a while they go nuts are everywhere in the world. Their tusks grow very fast. They become very barbaric, very barbaric. Oh my see that little train yeah those pigs. Are they look like That's a wild board! So that's from my from Adam Greentree. He killed that in Australia. They have a problem with them in Australia to and how how hollow it is, but it's so it's so strong, even still yeah, that's a big gas hook. We should go fishing with this and see what we can catch up a whale with yeah. We could definitely cut catch like a humpback or something with this puppy. It's uh
thing their their teeth. Are there shaped like these weird swords It is crazy and they grow so fast. If you release a pig that those thing these things pop out a couple months, yeah the stats one while yeah they start changing when they're not taken care of. It's like it's like a member that movie with Howie Mandel, walk like a man Remember that where he was like a kind of vaguely he was raised by wolves or something it's kind of like almost the equivalent of him coming back to society is releasing a pig and it becoming wild. Not that I'm calling women, tell PIG but he's a nice he's the opposite of a pig nice gentleman, but he's also like a super clean for his neck and ring warm hookworm. Now, there's no he's not get any of the worms, but he might because you like, washes hands a lot too much yeah, you can do too much and you kill your skin there. You suck up your font on flora. You get the imbalance going on here. What do you show us Oh, oh, my God, man
this is how we Mandel wow he's like a dog man is a few ideas like raised by creatures in the wild in this lady 'cause. You know women, especially a white ladies trying to like you know, save him. She wants to save woman. Do good for him and so he's just trying to acclimate to society so strange, great stoner movie by the way. What year do you think this was the eighty nine seven eight These seven yeah always move Mandel's been around for him around and he looks younger now than he did then as you can that? Maybe it's washing your hair, maybe a good move, you watching it shaving it I washing hands. Yeah Is it normal hands, looks crazy. Maybe that's why so young now we're very clean, and this is you know we we can't handle like natural bacteria, exist in nature at Fox us up we're going we're going to end up just murdering ourselves how clean we are. I think much more likely we're going to develop resistance.
Strains of bacteria that are murderous. We already have the plane over there's a new one that they did just did you see that thing flu virus? That's like that article there's an article! Just came out about us some mysterious infection. That's been marked people that is to clean. We keep, we should have. We should bring back the roman toilets, just to level it all out. A bit have a couple of am sprinkled around. I don't think that's just a couple of am you know what you wanna parties. What's the difference in those in a port, a potty feel like work in a construction site. I can't hold a hand in a port a potty. Do you go to a look of music festival? No news, one of them in the blue, that blue liquid and not doing that a low point. I'm not doing that. So I can get that warm. That feels I'm not doing that shit? Don't do it barefoot show me Jim: what are people at the art barefoot at the as the deadly fungal infection resistant to treatment. That's what it's called That sounds bad.
Like a new solar system, unstoppable fungus, killing the world's bananas why man addicted to stepping on the socks separately? That's it. Let's see and dick to distance fungal learning infection. This is not real. This can't be real. This is like Stoner news. There's another link, socks aren't sexual says: Kiwi schoolgirl, we fall down a click. Bait click hold so who's. Writing these, like Gary Bucy who's. Writing these headlines. This. How about TIM, Poole told me ready for this. You know those clickbait sites we go to and it's like. You won't believe what she looks like now and then you click on that and then you go to another one. Just like never ending click, click click, click, click they get. They gather up all these clicks like if they have a site. That's responsible for four hundred thousand unique clicks a day. If they have
something like that. They sell it to another company. Those clicks, another company attack- is those clicks to their site and says we get one hundred thousand dollars a day. They don't they're, not real they're just bought their clicks. You can buy clicks. But what world are we in right now by and clicks? I don't have time. I don't have time please find out. That's true. I think it is. It sounds right now it is simple, doesn't lie, he's I know a lot of people right now who I believe it here's the thing is every, Very long. People buying likes people have done or like followers is the same as the same to the internet for a way to do that. People get busted because, like they don't have any interactions like so they'll put up something and I can put up a video in the video gets like one thousand views, but
I have like one million followers and that doesn't make sense, there's no. That doesn't make any sense when the engagement doesn't match up with. I watched people all kinds of dumb shyt the amount of time that I've wasted watching peoples, internet videos, so those little instagram videos they make but the morning you bought today about the the Florida headline home that was that was like V Florida headline for sure that, like what you said in the caption that with the jet yeah, I was right this bit about exotic pets. And when I'm in the middle of this bit, I just decided to start researching Florida. What inspired you to write I'll, tell you I'll tell you I don't want to do. The big brother would have to say Florida man tries to start naked
club at Chick Fil Aa Florida man was arrested after he challenged others to fight and to stare at his genitals outside of chick fil, a restaurant. Why did Dan Bilzerian say people in Florida? Just can't act right, trust me! That's a good job at himself points points to Bilzerian, or at least common, correct, that's funny. That is a ridiculous headline. Also, where can I sign up? It sounds fun. It's like thrones for meth heads naked fight, club yeah. Why not you want to go to watch from like a neighbouring parking lot with binoculars? Hell? Yeah! That's do you want to tailgate that you want to be far enough away? So if they start running at you balls out dick White in Oregon. Bees do yeah, keep your car in park engine running and then use those by no absolute You know I shut. My no me come out here, you channel Professional Jamie's, with your oven, Mitt Tee shirts that are gonna, be video of that right. If someone was out of the chick fillet,
If there's not video, that's a very depressing fact: open video video of almost any kind of yeah. Basically, it's people create interactions so that they can videotape them. Parents, man, they gotta, stop putting their kids on video. We gotta stop it's enough. You say that, but there's a little kid. That's like six years old that reviews toys any makes twenty million dollars a year, twenty million dollars a year in Disney toys. Just looking at imagine one hundred dollars I'll open up a box of toys I'll. Do it one beans, that's it! we want to see you open up all right, not about anything. I'm gonna find something else. They want to see little cute, kids, all dressed up in a tie in a diaper. What Is this going to help Fuch going to find another gotta find another thing to make money. Another angle yeah that kid he's making a lot of money on it, be the Youtube toy Guy, there's a lady who does it with just her hands a grown woman, did you do with their hands? She opens things up same thing for hands.
Don't know if they're beautiful, I don't know, if their feet out and start using verify what I gotta do. Yeah I'm an open children's toys at my feet. Is that weird? No, you should do it and see which one gets better views. Do it with you with painted toenails and doing we've kind of like neglected, toenails, neglected To now I'm saying like what little chips in your paint. You know so think about instead collected toenail day that also kinda hot, because it's kind of check they'll take takes chances sure he's like there should be never toenails in order, so she lives so move with you across the country she's cross market. That's what she'll do enter into a bank robbing scheme which you should not taking care of herself she's got chip toenail. Puts people first, mail check just can't get it together. Some people just never quite together right, yeah and then you see their toes and it's a reflection of their own downfalls, their own work.
Enemy or they have a job. Yeah too busy too busy mom job in a couple of kids who got time to do nails then, and less you know original. I and yourself you do me self. The nail thing is interesting, because Here's. Why? Because it's like a service thing that people love right of going and getting pedicures and manicures the people that are into that shit. They love it. They love Dunkin their feet in the thing and then they get to talk to each other. But um. They would never want to do that. It's one of those weird things it's like if you found out your mom was given strange, dudes pedicures, like that's sorry gig? He built all right now we gotta go to therapist. What's going on would say why? Why do you have this job? Do you want to clean peoples feet what what about it. Brings you joy 'cause. If you need money like you
I'll, just slice mangoes in the side of the highway or something different. This is not weird, that's one where people love getting it done, but to do it would be like well I get my nails done regularly. I love it. It's very relaxing but yeah it's it's that weird thing where you know saying this: it's like it's of those jobs- that's worked by non white people for the most part, which I think is interesting? Do you think that's interesting As a woman, who's got her nails done, entry level, jobs for people that are first generation immigrant. That, like what What happened realistically, if all immigrants removed from country, caribbean all the illegals, every everybody who barely speaks English out, restaurants would follow that's something we know delicious food. There would be no fun music. There would be some fun music, I mean some but like, let's be honest with Jack, does a lot of fun, fun, music, but there's a lot of fun like you know
their idea. Let's say this is a lot of fun lets. You know that that's true, not my like songs in like our culture. Can you do one of these and it fits especially at like a wedding but yeah. Everyone will be jacked up good food, no, no nails dealerships kings. I don't know if I know Jim hi how sounds very familiar, put it on? Are you I can't wait to expensive. No, no, it's not working is yanked from Youtube. Now, that's right! You can't put any music on anybody's content. I think I'd just somebody sent me a song of Gypsy kings recently dinner out forever yeah sounds familiar baddass latino band. When I love is 'cause, I can't speak Spanish. So they're singing. It's just beautiful, like whatever they're saying it just sounds great. It doesn't have any like I know there's a motion. I can feel the guys a when he's singing, but I have no idea what he's saying so I don't.
I need to hear it. I just love the sound of it yeah. It is very nice. The the languages like very melodic, like spanish Italian, he has a latin based languages, are very pretty to listen to this order a musical flow. Like you ever hear, people from Brazil speak Portuguese. I mean click been to it all the time that should have met that should sexy they have a way of talking this up and a down cycle dance. It is a little dance and then people where I'm from Like Syracuse, it's like you guys, went to go, get a sandwich like you. Just don't want us to talk, you don't know what it is It's actually trying to keep people from breeding. So it's like the place. Is it suck the most? Have the sheet accents because they're trying to to make everyone disgusting? Well, I guess
also they have a baby, then I'm only the just trying to limit the number. You know what over populations in places that so there's probably some like legitimacy to what you're saying to them a sense of doctor in your sign. Anybody who needs some advice, just call us at one eight hundred good, look: there's a a new documentary by the guy will cope. Cooking cowboys did cooking cowboy, yes and a bunch of the documentaries Billy CORD yep Corbin, you got it. I don't want to on his land, water, anyway billion a new documentary are called Skreet screwball, it's all about Alex Rodriguez in the steroid scandal, and one of the guys in is a fake doctor who would wear stethoscope,
around his neck, like he got? He got his degree in some janky overseas university and wasn't legal to practice. Medicine in the United States, but who called himself a doctor and he had like the stethoscope that had where public well in his office would walk around with a stethoscope around his neck hanging around his neck. I just think he's going to check. I heart always doing- is prescribed steroids, he's got this kid that was walking around he posed as a doctor and had mulch for patients, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I remember this is in Florida same place in Florida. To must be pretty. Of course it's in Florida. Is this name say: Malachi yeah, that's a creep! name! That's like children of the corn right. So how do you pronounce that name? Malachi Malachi yeah? That's that is balls wait a minute, that's not his real name. Malachi love Robinson. That sounds like a character from like some sort of porn o
There is Doctor Malachi, a love, Robinson, H, p, c dash t those thing HIV World is on. The things it is health care proxy mean, some bullshit amp. I don't know what the hell this sounds like a gas station in in Kansas. Let's read his his thing was sauces is a well a doctor Malachi love Robinson is a well rounded professional. The treats and cares for patients using us system of practice at basis, treatment on physiological functions and abnormal conditions on natural laws governing the human body that does and that's have run on nonsense sentence to Asu, missed it hold on. Second docs would love Robinson, utilizes, physiological psychological and mechanical methods such as air water, light heat earth, phototherapy food, an herb therapy.
Psychotherapy, electrotherapy, physiotherapy, mechano, therapy, natural path, correct, turns and manipulation, an natural methods or modalities together with natural medicines, natural process. Foods and herbs an nature's remedies, well what you just said. The only thing that was, but that was manipulation, but how? this guy like who? Who read that and went alright. Yeah, who read that was like I need to make an appointment immediately found the real doctor. Ownership, doctors that don't use manipulation. What doctor goes like this and uh all of them now imagine that became the new thing. I would not go to that doctor offices, so someone had to like rent him the spot, so they believed him to not just
he had multiple offices really set an off a office like an off. You gotta think a guy who's that good of a bullshiter that pretends to be a doctor actually gets. Patients got a stethoscope gotta website. Is it that good, it's good in If that he's got patience like it actually worked. Like imagine being so crazy that you tell everybody you're a doctor, you don't know it yet about medical medical practices. You read his little bio there and you get offices, and then you patience you treating patients, it's the same as like religion, it's a similar approach used by people. People are and go need in who need something in their gullible, more vulnerable. No, follow you anywhere for religion. It is either that or it's a part of your culture yeah, absolutely it's a cultural thing for sure it's when you hear about a forty five year old dude becoming a mormon you're like what happened. What are you doing? Your you're lost? Maybe just have a great group of
little also Mormons you cite fuckin' I'll, join you happen, you know maybe even like with scientologists what happens with people like, especially in Hollywood they just get so desensitized or like they get everything they're. Looking for more, I need purpose. If I was jaded, I would say that they think they're going to enhance their karere. You think so. I used to think that because there's a lot of like there was at least a lot of people in the film industry that were signed tolerate having a condo meeting now, but I did go to one of those some they they had like a conference tables folding table set up in sand Diego and they had like the to coffee cans with the strings on that hold on to, and you know like they ask you questions about your childhood and weird stuff, and then you say it into the coffee. Can you hold these things? It's called the it's cold. He called me this morning so loud, it's called an e meter, you hold onto it and it it gives you some sort of a reading on this fuckin' graph. It's totally non science.
Tortious right, but you know the guy who's. Who was really interesting because the guy who was doing it must be just like some regular dude who's in the church that they make do it. It's not like he wants to do nobody wanted to that tell he was like a volunteer because you like yeah, I know- and maybe maybe you have a problem with your data- some he was really selling it at all. So basically, how I am as a doctor is what he was telling the Scientology yeah. We should see what it's like just out of curiosity just to be in there. You know in that moment and see what the hype is about. Well, there's a lot of money right to date there mass of real estate holders they they've earn millions, millions dollars and they have tax free, exact status because it's a religion, tax exempt. Disable shacks is it's crazy. They sued and won it yeah sue. The IRS see this is the more on one side of the coin. Like people are good
letters. On the other side, people are idiotic to believe in, deal with half of the ship that they believe in deal with. So I think there were. There are a bunch of different things at once. You know, there's the wacky. Beliefs that L Ron Hubbard all that stuff that he created, but then there's also the clan It's like the mentality, like yeah part of the plan right, the tribal mentality, yeah. Absolutely it's funny that the Ku Klux Klan that kind of stole the word clan right work like say, get self conscious. It's the correct word for like a tribe of people right and it's it's not reserved for just group of white supremacists, I mean it. It definitely. I know, but indicate a whole bunch of groups of people, the God I used to play quake competitively. If you tell people how quick teams are that their clans, the great land people at one,
and they were, like you mean, like the KKK you're, like no just a group of people like wake you fucking idiot with a common mentality. That's it a group, a band of people, banned yeah brothers, that that happens. Just take over something, and then that's something becomes negative from then on. Well, then they have a platform as well. You know that they can then they're like social social justice warriors about it in order like chair in it from the rooftops and making tweets about it. Now how it's a up situation, they really yeah. Jim is doing that. Well, you know like when, if you, if you were to say any word, people on the go, this person said this: it's racist, like I was just saying, claim and I wasn't saying anything else, but it's like the Hitler mustache just gotta. Let it go it's too tricky. It is, Did anybody who wants to wear the Hitler mustache now and like you, can't really you can't
who wants to wear it is there is somebody wearing it work for awhile? It's right. He did throw my god. He did playing basketball, that's kind of fun. If he was playing basketball thing, he wasn't, he was retired commercial or something yeah, my god Hitler, you can't Then you can't even like: when does it become a Charlie Chaplin? It starts as a Hitler like when it gets the outer edge of the nostrils as a Charlie Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin had Hitler. He he might. He molded it after modeled, after Hitler yeah, it was a huge fan, a chaplain, absolutely there's. There's some crossover any Chaplin was a huge fan of Hitler. Hitler was a fan of Chaplin right in Chaplin. Just kind of you know: 'cause Chaplin was a little bit of a rebel man, so why did Chaplin? Where is master chief? I think it's like a little tongue in cheek, Hitler mustache boosted sales at hanes. Let me see that photo.
Wow that larger that is so crazy. That is so crazy that is while even he had to give it up even Michael mother suck in Jordan. What is it with that paragraph? Say? Jordan, camouflage This is the mustaches to a small extent with the corresponding soul patch under his bottom lip. But the lip beard appears to be exactly that: a beard trying to disguise teutonic neighbor upstairs great sentence, that's great! That's a great teutonic to, neighbor, that's really! No two tonic means, you know to tonic, means of never use that word capitalized. I hit it hit it. Maybe like probably 'cause, it's not a real word and mother Fucker thinks it's a game or something like some internal to really Two two tones denoting dramatic germanic branch of the Indo European Language family. Definition you like what we make so go back to that go back
that statement again. That's the statement that were just reading from yeah. Ok choose we're trying to disguise its teutonic neighbor upstairs house. So maybe those people wore those stashes, maybe Hitler got it from staples, is germanic right, yeah, but like who's leading a dramatic, maybe it was a dramatic mustache. Maybe it was all a mode of the times yeah I maybe a bunch of people at Hitler's kind of like how there's full beards. Now is a full beard. The Hitler of ours is just like a common beard, think so br600 have somebody wrote, will roll around with the Hitler stash today that be really wild. You can't you can't that's too much right you, but here's what's weird enough talked about the sense to why is it okay to dress like Genghis Khan Con? It's like gang is con. If you wanted for Halloween. Is it okay yeah?
What do you mean like it shouldn't? Be? Ok could be a Nazi. You can't be Hitler yeah, that's I mean that's just it won't. Let you well, it's also kind. Lacking creativity like you want to be a hit like dressing up like a sexy baby. Are we really doing this? SIRI doing that no one needs to see sexy. Babies no needs to see Hitler well slow your roll those some girls should definitely dress like a sexy baby gate, so girls can dress like sexy babies, but dress like a baby and open up packages on Youtube. You could just like a baby, and open up packages on Youtube, no one stopping you like fighting these invisible foes 'cause. You just said that it would be Q and now before it wasn't, when I wanted to do it, I don't know what you're doing I don't think you're serious. I wasn't I don't really look around cut to this afterwards and it's just ten videos of me opening up packages of toys, yeah they'll, just cereal, yeah, in your underwear in my underwear, you with my terrible, terrible chips, toenails
it's amazing how many people have created a career just reviewing stuff on Youtube, like others, tech review, guys if they make load of money, even have to have like degrees in electronics or in engineering or anything they just have to have a love of tech. My girlfriend, for it will unbox therapy first, will Louis like think about how many views those videos get his videos he's one of the top ones, but there Marcus Brownlee who's also been on here. Duncan yeah. It's really weird, like as a viewer to watch somebody else open gifts. It's like it's like the worst part of Christmas morning watching other people have gives you like. Where the hell am. I toys people get really into it. They do sorry, do you think it's bizarre Flossie card is my favorite. I've been visit things. No one else, yeah yeah! This is a jack black. What looks like a like a powerlifter tattoo his hand, nice like full out right,
and he uses like he uses. Technical terms mixed in with, like slang, and he has a cat- He'S- got a cool little cat. That's always like in the videos hanging out and he opened his unbox. Are you so super knowledgeable guy yeah when he, when he reads like when he's talking about like the different details, what cameras doing dumb? But he does it in a funny right, like he's very funny, yeah hits also knowledgeable? So, if you're, a like me, and your intellect phone tech, call all I'm really in the phone technology most fascinated by innovations in phone technology, because I I'm watching. Someone build a bomb mic stand it back right where they fuckin'. Next versus going next, this is ruining us now. They want to make him faster and better and more into the all hands. To like you saying and so this is this Flossy Carter shadow to Flossie. As far as the field lightweight super comfortable, you can easily, where these all day and for the
look. This will take a look like when you wearing them neck tattoo it's, but some people like him, some people, don't these really ain't, my cup of tea. Now what I am Again it's exactly what he's there's pictures of him on his instagram he's jacked like he lifts weights, is huge. What's his background, I don't know, that's why we looked at ten million, seven hundred and fifty three one thousand four hundred and ninety five views. Whereas top and truly wireless earphones. He's got a huge following, but it's because of that. Because he knows what he's talking about, but then on top of knowing when he talks about is kind of fun. To listen to his voice is interesting. His voice is making a whole room. Yeah invoices full powerful voice. He should do it TED talk. To show me the way fellas out there, that carving their own niche and gals. Reviewing things talking
things like there's so many different people doing shit like that. Now it's interesting, I guess it makes sense. 'cause, there's such a huge space for the techie nerds to indulge in that stuff and become fans of that sort of. Also, no one would have ever made that a television show and even I was a television show. People might not a watched. It yeah. That's one of the error on on you to where you can just clear at your. At your leisure. Does the beautiful thing about the on demand was tech tv though, but this one. So this is sort of just replace whatever Jabba Tech TV was never this in depth, they would go. You know they would LOS over things, they would have like a synopsis of. It was still tv. They still had yeah, they started. I commercials, I guess they were. They did everything like a television right. It was great I'd, love, remote control. I mean not remote control. What is it called on touch screen? Savers, remote controls, MTV I that was able to Jenny, Mccarthy and Chris Hardwick Chris Hardwick a couple extra.
Yeah. You need a soul patch, then as well yeah. He had like a downstairs. Hitler Hitler in the basement is it allowed to have it in the basement. You the basement, just not in the attic. It's too close, but isn't it weird, though? I'm not saying that anybody wants to dress like a Nazi. I don't I don't want to have to say that I have to say that, but that, if you dress like a murderer from the past, like Genghis that Well, you actually get in trouble now for cultural appropriation. You know where you wouldn't get in trouble is at the Renaissance faire when they have like heroes and villains day goes on what you're doing with your time here. If you had some squinty eyed thing going on with tape too far right now, we're taking it too far is not. But why is it weird that a physical characteristic like eyes, like small eyes is like offensive to discuss, is half it is fascinating, but I I think is it offensive
or is it people enjoy the feeling of being offended? I think there's a there's a sweet spot in the middle there. I would beg to differ that some of the people in society who are, if ended by words. Term sentence is aren't necessarily truly offended as much as they want to say their offended. I am one hundred and I'm bored with you so loose So sorry, thank you doctor. So I have hpv. I can't I mean people get offended girlfriend. Did they love it that's getting offended and you know what they also love doing not doing shit about it, but in their defense, But if you see like a movie where a dude is playing, an asian man but he's Why do they do some malarkey with his eyes? Mother,
What do the room into a leprechaun, some irish Charlie Chan, a marquee, the focus I was that special effects might have changed, went to a chinaman all I God, Damn leopard conduct you. Should be an Englishman. No one has a problem with calling someone Englishman become a China man, though you're getting weird there. It's just getting weird it's exhausting, or offended, and then it's like girls being send it in writing articles about guys that are, bring me two moments, but they're not going to the vet. The rallies they're not involved community they're not really like moving the needle they're. Just screaming is a good to go to rouse. I think it's good to be also actively in physically involved in whatever movement you believe in. I think I'm saying it and posting it on Twitter is a facade, but it's good for likes. You can get a lot of likes boom. I mean, I guess, there's my balls on it- you're you're creating a conversation, but I don't know I just believe in like living walking the talk?
a little bit more? What the fuck are we just talking about that because oh chinese actors that get fucked out of rolls by wife They don't do that anymore, but Two yeah one of the big ones was Charlie Chan. Charlie Chan was like a famous detective show member that show was it. What was it as a white man? She was a white dude playing a chinese detective. That was like super wise, detective busted, but he looks like you know, like guy who eats good, like Matlock because the commish- no that's, that's all right there, my holy hell, yeah, those trow Jan I'm offended yeah. You should be here. More like he looks like a shity magician who looks like chewy from the comedy store he doesn't remember chili, that is offensive at the same thing happened with
Let me see that picture. Look at that. That is ridiculous! I can't happening there. These he looks like you, the casino in upstate New York, you ever hear him talk? Can we play something it was very offensive. Oh my god. Anton Tano solicitous of Charles I'm shock right now. It's a gym. What do you think what year? What year? Do you think this was one thousand nine hundred and forty five? It says he doesn't say Scarlett Johansson had that whole issue member she was cast in that movie and it was supposed to be an asian role and people went crazy over it. She bailed, let's hear some of those here. He goes. I can't they had already. You have telephone me quite a minute. I got your telegram. I started watching all trains, you contact, mysterious, Mister, Rausch or picking up the meeting after training ha just one of my man over there. He and I have trailed him for seven hours, play music
they could help it. I think if your apart on our address so we've got close to to his face. He doesn't really look remotely in a taped his eyes for sure they did some weirdness, but not much because he looks like every housewife in Bev Hills, minus the facial hair, the pulled back, face, yeah we like take off ten years, but back then you know this guy. Could get away with that. You know what a lady in the Saran Wrap she's, a ghost or something dude. What's happening that is bizarre, Is that what you would do to wrap up food is just enough to just something budget and take it home after the party balloons. Put your food inside of it Images put softener fuckin' face. What is that ship? So, whenever she's wearing like a glass veil or something Shia Labeouf
this is Luis Gomez and time travelers. This is, I mean Isn't it great to live in this time? Where are movies? Are so much better, but we're going to laugh in the future. Looking back at how stupid things aren't today can't see it coming remember when you thought the look at that guy, that's a cool chair. What is that dude? So another chinese guy that do this is not really chinese. Gonna think he's got that some terrible face make up. I think added to I think that was like a like Joey Dheas on acid look at without Headwrap Head, wrap tape. It doesn't like tapes, a regal Like a I tape, yeah, take an acid really ruling a kingdom. After a couple divorces, Eight year old tape, yeah, that's an offensive! Well, that's what they used to do, but look John Wayne as Genghis Khan. That's even dumber 'cause, even change anything, including the way he
talk. Like John Wayne. We're going to go out. There were gonna fuq up these Russians. He talked Do you like John Wayne, but he was dressed like a fucking, a it made me cry. Laugh, oh my god, it's so dumb! Oh, my god, you have to see it. How it? How would they made that movie where they're like this is it. This is volume that they didn't know everything sucked I think that kind of suck for sure is only a few like gone with the wind like what do they do? There take a few movies. You know: rose citizen Kane like wow like wow. This one doesn't suck yeah. I got lost in the filling it out there, yeah Gangus Khan, I mean, but the likeness is a little to a while, he look at that. Beard went from playing like a sheriff in some wide West Wild town to Genghis Khan Hollywood was so white washed. It really really was well the new backed into
They did a John Wayne Movie, they would sell a million tickets. You know, that's that's really. What the but the the thing is. I mean an aspect of that still going on it will on you know, and I sort of I don't know if you feel the same way, I get it to a certain point like when you go out in the comedy clubs in there like a Youtube influencer booked on a weekend, you're just like Dafuq, but then you're like well. I kinda from a business standpoint, if they're filling the room. I did a gig in in Arizona once and they had a daytime gig books from a Youtube influencer. They pass this place out at one thousand. One hundred am with like twelve year old kids, as fans was his name, Bert Kreischer. Yes, it was it was a Bert Kreischer Day show up top Walter did Burt does those day shows he said: he'll do radio and then I'll do a show at like noon, for people that don't have jobs yeah. It's like work call in sick
so we call it something like that that yeah call in sick to work done yeah yeah. He took his shirt off the kings game so funny that, ladies listen to him he's looking slim, that's only like nineteen months pregnant, the protrusion in this part, eight year old in the valley he's going to eight year old inside of make sure he takes his shirt off in the are now every time yeah. I used to take a shirt off only in the main rooms like bowl or keep my shirt on now. Now we decide No more of that. Does it come off all every show reset right. We did stage takes his shirt off when you decide When that happens. I wonder like. Is there a moment just right? That's how you do it pre MIKE Graber grabs a mic, well, his butt, he is a source of pride, enjoys with the fruits of his labor yeah his appetite for indulgence, I don't know if it's a boy as much as it is a building. It's a body people
once his body they know is the party animal takes his shirt off and they go alright. It's Bert Fuchie who is fun. It is a lot of fun, sub article that was written about that. Like talking about I was reading. This guy was like talk about how hilarious it was. It's yeah, definitely the party he isn't animal, and sometimes you know I mean there's the opposite, where people are just kind of right on stage. If I don't get a laugh just by taking off my shirt, I think I'll go for it. Why not start off the, but now the problem is, I think, Burt owns it, which is weird. You know like he's like you think you should have some like a little bit of a feeling about it. No, like he owns it like you wanted to go up and take your shirt off people go. Would you copy any that's a good point. This is the only one doing it he's the only comic a d robing every time, but there's some weird ones like that. I'll Bobby Lee takes his pants off. I mean I've seen that that weenie a few times winking at me from the green
rooms of the comedies should probably not tell people that were stopped doing it. People are probably get mad, get mad at things out. He can you cannot do it there like take off the shirt, there's a jump on him. Onstage Tagle yeah yeah, but I mean there's a couple dudes who go clothesless yet their pants in their shirts, but but it's weird that does Burts. Yeah? It is weird you're right, though, if anybody else were to do it, they would know that that was a bert situation. There's another one like that, but we were just talking about the other night. The comic store, like how crazy is it? Someone like took over like a thing, yeah, oh, stand up. Comedian I think so, but man I want to know what it is. Well, there's like a couple: there's a comic in New York or just snaps. Like a snap what time it's at one thousand, eight hundred and eight Frazer Smith. I love watching Frasier Smith when he's like come on people. These are jokes and he likes yeah. It's like it's like a time keeper. I like that right, yeah,
yeah. It keeps you in rhythm, its musical up there. Sometimes if it's going well, it goes well. It's weird how people can become like a thing like this is the guy who talks about food. I know I was thinking about that like how what what what comes first in that scenario, does it naturally evolve or does it happen once and then the person builds around it because it's a krutch, there's there's a fine line between the art in the marketing, exactly yeah in who you know, do your thing like it's a short life, Why not find that little niche that works for you and fucking make that money and have fun bring some joy to people who gives a. I have a problem with people talk about people, going after what they're doing and finding a little trick to it. Who cares but he's doing people get angry, get tricked God yeah, that's true! That's true! Fuckin' trick can't believe this ship dude
I remember those this lady who reviewed video games she's like talking about video games and they found a video of her from years earlier, saying that shows the and play video games. Ah yeah. I know I don't even play video games yeah. They were using is like evidence shows this. This is during that whole gamergate thing might this is evidence of the world has gone mad. People are arguing over whether not someone is a real video game player, not even a real player. You fake play. People have too much time on their hands man too much time and they get stuck in that they get stuck in that, like web universe will not just out like yeah people. Change like I, wasn't playing video games just three months ago now, jamie- and Jeff and I would playing him every few. Okay. We play this quake game Oh, that's like a video game. Jamie funk me up yesterday he beat his app Beat me. How did that feel doesn't feel good? Are you good loser? Yeah. We have fun. We have fun. We talk a lot
I was just going to say: you probably talked a lot of shifted Jamie after he lost. No. Did you cry? I did what he did. Fuck me up on this one map that I was very angry at this map. Key so black. You fall off and you soon and he did a much better job than Maine. He owned me on the other, so that evens out even sounded kinda evens out by just a certain degree when the invite I liked that one map that we play on 'cause when you do go out, you do suicide, but it's not that that other one. That is just like every time I get in if you're jumping and you don't look behind you, like Fox Yaya, watch yourself, all yeah explode when you hit the rock, sometimes next load. How many times I fall this summer, thirty, not joking! You really are no! No, no and here's me fallen got damn it fuck this map, check this map Sonovabitch, yeah it suck God,
suck what the fuck and then Jeff's getting good to become problem. Jeff Fuct me up. Yesterday, too, I think it's good to have like I wish. I was good at video games. I'm not I'm not that bad! I wish. Why would you want that because I think it's good like the hand, eye coordination and just like I don't know, being able to relax and play game, you might find Fuckin' Chinook would be them drone pilots in Vegas. I do so. What do you think about Ufos one hundred percent real one hundred really see one. I did really see one really I did in New York City. This was years ago. I was walking downtown is the bartender. This place called Puffy's tavern inch in Tribeca, walking downtown little sunny day and I'm crossing the street, I'm just looking at everybody, everyone looking up like what are these people? Can I look up and there's this, like? I don't know like a weird oval chrome thing in the sky pretty pretty far up, but you could see what it was and I was
talking, they don't like what is that he was videotaping is like I don't know, we've all been standing here. It hasn't really moved. Just was kind of suspended in the air, not a lot of sound at all, and I had to get to work. My all right. Well, I gotta go make cowboy Cox suckers for investment bankers, so let me know what happens and I went to the bar and it was the news at the bar, and it was just this weird. It looked like like that bullet bullet vibrator thing Or like a little suppository in the sky, it was like a like a like a balloon like almost like a balloon, but a little bit more elongated, very quiet. It was bizarre blimp not like set up right, almost like in this was oval shaped like it can be a soda cans floating in the sky, but all tide up, yep this bizarre, but that was the only real time I was like what is that huh not remember being a little kid thinking that I might have saw something, but I might have just convinced myself to sales board.
And also as your memory recalls, you recreate what it was. But do you remember, I don't know Anything really, but I was going to say, is I've watched this Bob Lazar are in area. Fifty one documentary boy holy shut It's really interesting. It's a lot more interesting than I thought I always like to like dismissal of the faux stuff 'cause most like this nonsense is so silly, but my friend day Foley, who are you? I treasure, and I value his opinion very highly. He told me that he started getting obsessed with ufos. He said thanks to you. Obsessed with you because I'm like thanks to me, I don't know even obsessed to minimise alot of sessions, I'm sure nobody and I, when we used to work together on news radio, I was deep. My obsession with ufos, I was convinced what kicked it off just tearing
people stories. If you only had one experience as a kid, I don't even think I really did have an experience. I think I probably saw jet fly overhead and, like I think that might be useful, and I talked myself into it. I don't think we're that you had an obsession not based off of your own experiences. It's our job always been super super obsessed with space yeah. I had a really good teacher in seventh grade science and a He said if you really want to make your brain hurt, just look up and try to imagine something that has no end you're right I mean I mind, has no end just you can't you want to hurt your head just, cup in the sky. I understand. There's no end to this. Doesn't make any sense to me and say because everything else in life and existence has a fine allergy to it, every single thing yeah we think, but it, but this guy when he planted that in my head. I remember thinking wow. I never even thought of that before, like I just looked at the stars, inability Well, there's a star: they look cool, oh there's, the moon,
my love. I want to go to the dumb kid. You don't have the perspective of like the vastness of yeah, but when I was thirteen, this guy said that thirteen, maybe fourteen, no twelve, yes, twelve somewhere in that in seventh or eighth grade. You just started Aranea. From him saying that to me and then being obsessed with space after that obsessed, like one thing that the teacher said and I was immediately like what like there was one of the first cool Things ever heard. It's cool. You know where someone cool, he was a cool teacher. He was a Vietnam vet. There was a couple of these guys that were Vietnam, vets that were super scary. They were scary, it's good to have teacher like that, though, so many like that whole thing like ours, educate system really fails a student sometimes, but have teachers who invoke curiosity out of children who actually care and have a you know, curriculum that they bring to the table. I only had a couple teachers. That I can really remember but yeah. I think three, the three
Is there really remember like wow that lady was so nice of your entire schooling. Yeah same I had a really cool misled was my first grade teacher and she his line up outside of her door and she always had to pop collar show he smelled good, shows that popped collar and when you walk in her classroom, if you had Tyler should pop it. So everybody said in class on the pot color the Larry brought this like right like it just we felt like we were our own little clan in there like the miss. What, when clan, that's what it was like when did you know that you wanted to be a comedian? Early early on, like eight years old, I was young, it was entertaining my sister no shut, but I didn't know that make a career out of it. 'cause where I grew up. There wasn't those like out You know we didn't have like theater or any sort of court Cheryl. Beaujour that I could you know, adhere to him. Just like
ok cool, I'm going to be no gay people. Let me translate, you know gay people we did, they were hiding because they didn't want to be murdered. Lol, lol, jk yeah. So how old? When you first on stage nineteen, oh yeah, I was nineteen years old. I thought he had to wait till twenty one. I didn't realize that you can get into a bar performer right now make sure you don't drink. Yeah there was this cool place called the can't around, which is a Boston right, but You know you know about all about it. Cambridge area had this. Are called heb lounge in downstairs. There was this little performance. Space called the third rail and I said, improv for like six months and then one of the dudes like you should try stand up you might you might like it, especially in Cambridge, were doing yeah. That's why I started stand up and in Boston. This was an sti was one thousand nine hundred and thirty six. Now what you are doing that my can't do
That's what you would hear the scientist I'm the doctor. I don't have time to do. Math after work too busy with my calculations about the size of the universe. Stethoscope, I can't do the math yes, I got ninety two. So what it means now is night. Nineteen I don't know what year it was twenty nine thousand and twenty hours in twenty two years ago, two thousand and six holy twenty three years ago. What eight years ago, thank you are bad at just like me. Well, it was whatever that may be counting making numbers on. It was so thirty six now, yes, night stand up when you're in nineteen. Almost twenty years ago, almost twenty yeah yeah dad was actually on tape. You have I do the first time ever. Don't stand up much. I did I. I thought you had a me up for months like got to lock me up for mine. Why did I think I could do this in my? it was just everything you imagine it was it was. It was all the things other things it was just
all the little clumsy, clumsy and fast. And not rooted in like a narrative about my life. It just was sort of a reflection of what I saw Yes, sensually you go up, there need imitate something until you have your own voice for the most part yeah for sure, but I have- and tape and I'll never forget we even videotaped afterwards, my dad came out from Syracuse to watch it my dad. He said he since in october- but he came out here for my first stand- up- show and he's like they're going to be fine. It's not in the industry, he doesn't know shit. This dude is like you know, sold real estate and Barton like he wasn't like in the entertainment she was a baby can be fine. You're great, High energy he's like you're going to be fine 'cause, you then you got high energy that some people, like people like okay dad. So It's kind of always thought about that, like aspect of it like just might
my physicality and not feeling embarrassed by it. You know what Jim said your dad, he what about Steven Wright yeah? You know he definitely like comedians, like that one of my dad's favorite comics as Stanhope, he loves Stanhope honor. Forget I did show a Stanhope in Syracuse. Actually, in my dad was next to me were watching Stanhope and he leaned over. He was like man the mind on this. Guy is like one of the brightest brightest people I've ever heard in my life Dutch, give out more. He well he's in a grave now he's only- and I was a ghost- is probably a drunk goes to some girls house right now, because you can't find mine stand. I was getting ready to film of the special yeah very excited. Watch yeah, it's gonna be great sandals he's he's like the. I don't think the equalizer when it comes to what's going on in society. He just has a way of being like boom. This is what's going,
when control and with people being offended by terminology in words. Here's why it's ridiculous yeah he's good like that. Well, he work You know me he's a guy that he and he works on his own schedule. He decides when to write when to perform. The tour went to do that and he is always like. I might just retire right back at it. You special coming out next year. Yeah he's always is always work and he is always working his own glass designer yeah he's he's amazing. I love watching him that is out there because he says, like he's, basically an older version of the guy. He was like twenty plus years ago. He's not he's not change, rather than like become more wacky yeah, let's fucking goofy suit. The body suits and it's coming soon, so it's walking suits every time. I see him, but here's the thing. Like that's one of the things
owns the, so it's just gonna say tell where, where the suit, if you were a goofy suit ago, really shitty suit, like Stanhope, where, like it's dusty, peach, colored suit with ruffles, he wears hearing loafers like old man from Caddy Shack yeah. He looks like he used to sell. Rs twenty years ago in the outfit yeah, and I love it phrase long lost cousin. He looks like a twelve. Toledo, cousin from Toledo sells cars. He looks like a ghost from the titanic. He rents out clown. Look at him. There shoes in the shoes will shoes you're right. That's that's this thing, yeah! That's just look! No terrible suits and he's been rock. Look for quite awhile now, like he used to draw like normal person? Welcome smi, I mean So there was always a level of a of eccentric
We could replace his entire wardrobe for forty dollars. You could go to a thrift story. Yeah I mean you could get that jacket for two dollars it. It's amazing that finds a mall that seem to be tailored to think he gets the fraud he takes. These get think he takes these shitty fabrics to like a real high and Taylor and he has a more excellent fit. It may get some pretends he finds them. He does not find someone. We definitely get some nice tailored shirts, a bomb jacket that sure into its not bomb, though it's all nice- and you know it is nice and clean, but I've seen it looks like a bomb that struck it rich, real, quick. If you got money fast, in order to do so. Just bought the same suits but cleaner. Now, if struck it rich they'd be wearing like the fine Those things really on the windows, those department stores and they were on the outside in a garbage bag to Prada yeah yeah. I would once you got on your feet and cleaned up and stuff. I don't know. If I place, do you use the fact you're rich now I don't
if I'd be able to? Actually I don't have an Accra fashion, I'm in like a gangster hillbilly overall outfit but works? I don't know if I'd be able to like just know what to wear after being homeless for so long. First, you gotta kick the heroin and the pips stain yeah. You get a kick all that yeah get a clean, your body up. You got a hundred billion dollars in the bank. Now Claude, what I'm saying there's a little bit of a process you No you're not going from like shit stained shorts to gucci pants. Well, most people don't even make it. You know when when people win money in a lottery, Adele as always, spend at all or go crazy, so we eat, I don't think people get adjusted to that idea that all the sudden boom. So we just drops off a giant chunk of change. If you got in here, it's money from Grandpa yeah he's a million dollars like you're gonna burn through that as most people. I don't even think it's reserved for homeless people. I mean like rappers athletes, comedian yeah, it's it's like that. It that's what goes back to our education system, we're not taught financial risk
ability in high school. We should be listened to as a matter. If you teach comedians finance. Most of us are not going to fight a start. I was like whole sieve. I wanted to just at least have something save for the future, because I knew that about myself that I did not know enough. So I started a save some and googling for every Kevin Hart. As like real knowledge about finance. There's like four for dudes like me but no idea. What's going on, it's got like a custom gym in sixteen cars on the way I don't have anytime for thinking, but do you like that, like but you know as a woman, you know our indulgences are like you know, going to the spa or maybe shopping like. What's your thing like on a day off, what do you that brings you joy- that is, it is a commercial Realtor material thing obviously
your car's engine with cars, but I enjoy the I'm. A big fan of engineering like I'm a mom, I love mechanical things like leg. I think my favorite car have this because it doesn't have any power steering doesn't have air conditioning. It's got. An air cooled Engin, so one of my favorite cars. What is it which car one thousand nine hundred and ninety three Porsche? Rs America? It's a really light car. Some really how fast is not fast like a modern car like it's definitely not fast compared to my Tesla Tesla. Is the craziest fucking car I've ever driven by far, every other car seems stupid. What model c dumb it's a model, as I was just one hundred and twelve fucking preposterous. How fast that cars? just a technology on now, and does it also have auto? Yet all right drives. Does everything how does that work like if you're driving on the highway? If you set up auto, does it legitimately go to your destination,
you have to hit this little thing to switch lanes to see that you want to switch lanes, but it'll switch lanes for you it will drive with the speed of traffic, so it'll slow down when traffic slows down speed up and traffic speeds up, it turns it makes perfect turns wow, it's crazy, Could you just be yourself now and let it go? You really shouldn't, but but you could you probably? Could you hold your hand on the steering wheel like you're supposed to have light pressure on this team will apparently some crazy fox. That's what it looks like on the screen. Wow, they just updated it like last week. Yeah. They updated it to recognize, stop lights, that is I mean the future is now that is so wild ants, but someone told me I don't know if it's true, it's irresponsible for me to even say it, but I'm going to say it do it. This is your
cast your living room going to go crazy. Someone said that you can bypass the touch sensors on the steering wheel. That knows, if you're holding on the steering wheel with a tennis ball, these shove it this fall in there, and if you do that, you go to sleep well you know what, Modern Darwinism will take care of the rest, I hope not I like you, I don't want people to die in his colorful today either, but people do dumb things all the time, but there's France, is in those kind of cars in the the cars that I really liked. I like make these mechanical cars the field. You just feel the gears like see this guy's got tennis. Ball is going to orange. To shift in there he's got a little citrusy. It works for driving as well as getting rid of bacteria yeah. He debunked this autopilot orange hack. Oh, he debunked. It owes to see if it worked or not. I see it seems like it's working. It does look like it's working so but you're it makes you hold onto it like,
every now, and then it doesn't make you a whole lot of it all the time as it should fail, fail, dunking failed. It actually does work. That way I mean how much is going on in your life that you can't I enjoy driving. I enjoy the mechanism of it I enjoy. Where my mind goes, I like blasting, my music May or may not hit a joint mayor may not allegedly, probably not, but you know I enjoy driving well, I do too, but I think if there was a button that you impress, and so you drive in the car just drives. You hit that button all the fucking time most of the time when you're in traffic, you just don't want to deal with straighten specially in LA going to the airport I get up in the morning, and I just hit that button hit that light Napa in, let's go bench press a button that barely pay ten tap. That should all the way the airport yeah see. That's there's certain situations where it would be useful. Definitely, but when
you're driving like say, if you're driving in a canyon, you know what you're up these hills and and and drive around these. Like a beautiful scene, scenic places, you want to be dry, even like a little sports car with a manual transmission, braking those wheels or feel it grabbing the wheel and hugging the corners like immediate care person feel like he. He can add that to the Tesla no why not feel the gears? You will feel the grinding. You won't feel the shifting of the all the gear yourself doesn't have any gears. They give so many oral experiences. You have to be lying to me about. First of all, here's one the reading of the engine, like we when you get up to redline when you're shifting gears like this sound that especially a really well engineered german car has when they hit those high. Rather it's just up. It's a symphony of coordinated mechanics,
why you, shifting and youth, really hit the fucking you blip on the downshift like on the downshift. You do what's called heel toe in where you got one foot on the brake and you go like this wrong so that as you're going from third to second give it a little extra juice so that your engine rpm catches up with where the gear is going to be when you get into second gear, is going to rev higher. So what and you're all just like a coordinated effort. All these things are happening. It's not just sitting there with an orange, steering right now in around. Is there something else going on? I just came in my pants from that whole description of don't say anything made, fart sound, but here's the thing it doesn't matter. If you make this sound, I want to feel the shift. Taking you push the
No! It's all about the chef Jamie you're, pushing your foot into the clutch you're, putting the thing into gear. It's a mechanical action. You can't fake that now you can't think that even Elon, I bet you lankan face not going to listen. Did it would be less good than what he has. What he's got is better than any other car right, this basic level of driving. It's not you, know, you're, not interactive with shifting and everything which is probably the fun of having a car where you can actually drive it manually. Well, there's a feeling of bunch of things. First of all, with his car, they don't have any gears it's just one year it doesn't shift, it doesn't change yeah, it doesn't hit a red line and then you have to move to third gear right or it does it itself. It just has one gear and then on top of that this giant navigation screen, I mean It's huge fucking thing you've ever seen in your life, it's like fourteen inches tall right and then on top of that, it's got. Like all these safety features. It's looking at things in warning you about this, and it shows you all. The cars are around you as you're dry
driving. A look at my mom in the front seat sounds like just to get something over there, something here. Account for that huns like alright shut up what, if your mom was psychic into just sending it to your brain? Just give you that's what it's like. It's not saying anything showing it right. It shows it doesn't like, say everything but doesn't have like a fart machine in there. I read that there's like a fart machine in the Tesla's wife, Read more I was well what would cushion it's a fart sound that it can make if you want to write so people sewing machine. Do the pharmacy would make actual farts makes noise, though right yes right so I mean essentially it's uh machine, just not like a well just sound effect, mechanics tool, machine. There's a machine there's like the yes, that's great, there's enough for me to get Tesla kinds of farts. What yeah you can have like wet farts short little tiny, farts, hookworm farts. What do you think of hookworm farts smell, like
like rotten fish carcass some dead worms inside your body, but like like a river soaked carcass. Have you ever seen an animal? I know you have a lot of dogs. You ever seen Amil out worms. I know I I definitely don't want to, but now the images just vyve in my mind. I have many times like how many forms we like worms coming out of there, but, like you look in but you see like little worms. Yeah you've ever seen, yeah it's super complicated crazy. They have it. They have had so many dogs in my life. That's, why does that mean that they are? not normal dogs. I haven't had them crap out worms, while they probably did get do you know they didn't right, right, right, right, rescue dogs, yeah, the d place I when I as a kid our dog had it, and I remember watching like little worms come out of her, but I was like this is crazy. Little white worms wiggle around in her butt, and I was like what in the fuck is this nature is weird man
I on everything, yeah yeah, there's an organism feeding on an organism. That's all. This is just organize it's feeding on each other yeah, it's one big fxxk, faster organisms or more leech, fest yeah. It is a leech fast. These things I think they thought you think those parasitic worms folk know they probably separately. They probably just you know they just divide themselves. There's no sex happening. They're like it's gonna fuck. Did you see that hi sounded they found in the middle of the Everglades. It was seventeen feet long. My I was a so. I googled it I saw this is one of the things I took a certain that was talking about exotic pets. I googled it they get to. Thirty feet long. I can't even understand that that is ridiculous. So then I went a whole. I did. I saw that Python whole direct rep.
Seventeen foot, long python, carrying seventy three eggs captured in Florida's everglades. Another reason we should just get rid of Florida: snap, it offen push it into the ocean. There's too much craziness happening there, fuckin' snake. Now here's the thing that freaked me out: I found those snakes get twice that length, so this only been going on, apparently for like the last, fifteen or so years they apparently didn't have will population of pythons in the Everglades fifteen years, did somebody's pet. Get loose that thing had seventy three exit: no, no, they didn't get loose. Some asshole just released his snake right. Someone just it out the window and then it up the balance of the system. The escape from a breeder will be destroyed by Hurricane Andrew in nineteen. Ninety two: well, that makes sense a hundred percent. So we're moving. It is so great horror movie. Somebody write that script 10s of thousands of Burma, Pythons are estimated. Now we live in the area and that's just now. They've completely white
without all the raccoons, all the skunks. All the rabbits is almost no medical, yeah they're eating alligators. Now nice things eat alligators at the video to see forget that dude naked at chick fil, a is a photograph of one that died. Is alligator chewed its way out of its body, nature is, so brutal man, nature, is so damn ruthless, but there's some beauty in that ruthlessness. Just just that. Like dying desire for survival that existing in creatures like that that can't there's no empathy. There's Sympathy they're just going to eat their way out of you to survive, yeah, there's something cool about as long as it's not your five year old kid that gets snatched lutely, absolutely that's a god. Goddamn nightmare this this, but this for you guys there was this one doing this isn't eating. The video look at that is a different. This is an anaconda and Anna came in, says Python eats out.
Gator alive. I mean it's whole thing alive. Is that a python for sure yeah? like it is, it seems like it is. That's actually a video of me eating a grilled cheese in two hundred am looking. It is set up a look. How It's all the way down to the fucking tail. That is amazing. I wonder if snakes have taste buds or if it's just for pure hunger to just stop and think about what we're looking at here. This fucking snake just ate a whole alligator. There goes a tail. Oh his body is my guide down. Look at that. Even then, he's got to go away still because they're vulnerable when they eat that he's gonna go and just hide in hide under a canopy. Well, the Why snakes everywhere on earth, well now. There are in Florida yeah, but I mean they're not everywhere, because if they do, they really could just eat and then go out need again like real quickly. Like how a line could write it would be they would eat all the ecosystem would be destroyed. They need a boring thing where the alligator chewed its way out. Look at that
so kind of bad acid. That alligator looks like the tail popped out, even yeah. Maybe detail. You know, 'cause. Those tails are very strong and they're. So thick, it's like an armor. Go to that website. That's wild man Jesus that is really wild, but that's just shows you how hungry these fucking things are. They've eaten everything that's out there, but so their masters, their their ability to capture something and then kill it. That's that vicious bread, an alligator like those kind of hard to sneak up on in in capture and hold on to, I don't think they are I don't think so. No, I think that's one of the reasons why it could get it so quick. I think they just lay around most of the time. I think alligators don't tweak because they don't have any natural enemies until the pythons came along. I don't think there's really bad gas yeah. I don't think they are equipped for this yeah. They probably not equipped for you're, probably right where they're just
The snake found a vulnerability in the system is like I'm going to snack on alligators wonder how long it takes a snake with this nasty gut juices to breakdown alligator hide three hundred and thirty three days three to four days. That's my guess. I'm gonna say at least a week to breakdown all that, maybe even longer yeah. It's got to have some gnarly like a acids and it's tough to break that down some shit like from the movie alien. Yes, like battery acid, just burns right through it. Why aren't we like using snake? Ask to break down rust on cars and stuff. We should be looking into that yeah. I would clean of everything probably would set up everything. An enemy to Recreation of the python alligator battle suggests that the python might have survived its massive meal, but that uh, Gator came to the rescue and bit off the snake's head. Oh, Is that the alligators Bich being like no the force of the tussle. The new theory says, is cause the python, while most so Alligators
I'm a him. I only ate alligator homey came and rescued the have any homies. Really. No, the the ah souls with tiny little brains, and they just choose things and suck him down. They just fuc reptilian style. Do you ever see that video of the crocodiles and they go to feed them, and It was on my instagram Jamie that one with Talk about will Deathstroke radiation goes to throw some chicken now for the crocodiles, the crocodile snap up, the chicken and one crocodile reaches over the guy next to him and bites his leg, hello by the car taco, Bell's leg and his role- oh God snaps it off and shut down Swallows it and the other alligator, the other cracking rather doesn't even budge. He just got his arm. It off is like what happened to my Phuc, You realize what these things are? They don't give a fuck. There is so
easy to watch their dinosaurs, doesn't even freak out that its arm got bitten off and swallowed by his name? Well, I will say, if I mean really delicious sandwich and some bites me, it will be like I'm, I'm just gonna finish. The sandwich I have to be on is how long we are you if you're very hungry, he's not even finish he's lying there and the other alley or crocodile bites his leg and then rips it off. Watch this That's just watch it boom now watch they run in see this is snacking up and look grabs it and then watch Gator old, deaf snaps it now. Watch Chuck sit down gulp, but look at him. He doesn't even do anything you suck bro. He just lost his leg and he's like what the fuck bro I mean. Those are. Regenerative right. Yes, they are, they can he grow another paw up, whoa yeah, they grow other pause, all the time that do that is so wild, well, it's the same gator dna in my face. I bet you, that's really good for
like keeping your fresh or you look like scales. You want that to be kind of cool, forever scales, I'll be super here I could probably capitalize on. It does not have to worry about what you look like right, just not skills to your for absolutely into them. Right now, I'm not gonna. Wear any rouge. I got scales, I'm a go out. Some girl had to be the first girl get a face tattoo. You could be. The first girl get scales, probably some surprise, a really long time ago, Some which got a face tattoo well most like rival, yeah, most likely, try, definitely tribal. Maybe like one of those call, Andrus tribes. What is this Jamie? So it looks like a snake, with alligator inside of it, it does take three days for it to break down, I think, scientists doctors coming in coming into your lane,
Watch out, I'm a doctor in a site in the know about got, I know about God S, it's, because I'm a tally and I've got a g to. It is a real thing that science, that's a silly in science, is good before going to a gym bag, anything all meat balls. They give me the agenda. You know what's crazy about the Everglades. If this is our is now imagine what it's going to be like twenty years from now on these things just keep. Reading yes, good takes it's gonna, take a few. Generations for that to balance back out, they need to put some wolves in that area and get it all back to where it should be well, they have crocodiles in there now too, there's been. Worm, sightings of Nile crocodiles, not american, crocodiles, Nile, crocodiles. For the same reason, that's wild for the alligators are yeah. That's fucked yeah, it's fucked, because those are the ones that eat zebras and share their going to everything. They're going to be watch hide your kid hide your wife yeah, they don't definitely they be raping. Remember that guy he I mean he. This is what I'm saying,
found a lane and he capitalized off of that little moment. He did for a little bit yeah for a hot minute, and now we know who he is by just saying a phrase. Yeah I met him. You did yeah Mata Mata, one of the UFC's. Oh that's wild. How was he a gentleman or very nice super confused about his life looks like it's going on here, and why am I here? Everybody knows me like you went from being just a regular guy talking about breaking yeah. He was on the news interview to do it on the news. He was so funny that He came like a viral star and then next thing you know, like Dana White Flu amount to the UFC were hanging out with him backstage that slavery is like what is this life? wow. How about that like cash me outside girl, she is a She's precious rapper she's, like twenty million hours on Instagram toot. It she's wrapping up a giant billboard on sunset yeah buildings for the of the whole thing's body, be id what about being but bad baby, Dad Bobby bad but saudi beating if I was able, but you know when I
Sometimes when I workout, I put female rapper station on Spotify and she pops up look at look at his hair. Now live in your truth when it hold on a second, formerly gay yep, and that's in announces his baby boys birth. After expressing a desire to get married, also confusing headline but live it, do it informally get well. You know he looks great. The You should be open to change people who should be. Do you think that some can be gay and then that it could switch over absolutely they stop being gay and they start being attracted to women. Absolutely, why not we're on a dot suspended in nothing, that's expanding! Why not? Why not? I think that so stunning to think right, like what is that possible, because I think what you just said: people exist. Some people exist in these comfortable bulls and they have the routines and they fear change because of the exhaustion. Because of what it takes. I hear somebody else living a life that's outside of their little bubble, regimen they freak out because,
It reflects their own inability to change themselves or their fear of changing, so I think a lot of that with people like look at someone like Antoine Dotson who's in a wig and where his lip gloss or like. What's that person I don't know that's a way. That's hurtful could be his real hair. They trigger you. That's really disappear, says exactly same here is Beyonc, it's his real hair, the same thing when I wake up is real too by the way. That's a real woman, ok, response aspect, yeah, better watch out those hips will snap you, and turn on people that way by bringing something up that they didn't even say and then saying don't ever fucking say anything about her right, but I didn't like what the hell out also and you're on the defensive, be careful people like that. Those sneaky fox- and I know what you're going to say next Yes, that's mental you're going to say that Donald Trump is a strong leader.
To say that if you're like wait, a minute you're going to say that we need border security, I know what the fuck you doing, racist like no, no, no, no! No just trying to have a conversation here I mean we need some border security. Don't we bought the goddamnit down that wormhole with crazies working with the border looks like in Canada, the middle of the forest. I would imagine it like maple syrup fountains, no, that's paved it's like not paved. It's it's like trimmed. All the trees are trim and then people can see in hop override, there's like a path. That's one hundred yards wide that is like the border between us. Like say if this table was like barren rates on this site force on that side, that's what the path is like the entire length of the the connection between the United States and Canada. So that's true. It's crazy! That's trippy! Also, did you just call me bear and no I didn't. I said it's barren, not you. I was like true, probably that's wild. Have you seen it in person? No! No! No! I just found out about two weeks
That's really cool crocodiles, apparently can't regrow their limbs oh that's a bummer. Are you sure I just looked at even their tail right, other amphibians can but crocodiles and alligators can't I guess I can live without a limit to it says, but they can't regrow tens of you, would think they would, because you would think genetically there's similar like salamanders couple websites, I mean I'm not I'm not. The scientist here Well we we know you aren't because you right here, I'm not a scientist either there can't something that sounds good. Your doctor of Rogan Comedy is like that just looks like a power line. Path down to turn out looks like cocaine. Big line yeah because snow is no touchy zone, I have no touching zone to zone right there. That's my it's all my zones, there's no crazy! Does the border between the uniform, that's beautiful. If you go up there and that is God's country that is spectacular,
Would love to blaze a blunt and walk that whole fucking thing little freak you out, do you ever go, hiking deep in where you got no cell phone reception and you get to not like words that deciduous but like in you know like Judy Send you a second big word of the day. This person is playing in the big words, but I am somewhat well read. I'm a fucking doctor. I forgot you were doctor who doctor has to be a doctor of something I feel your doctor of I feel you're a doctor of comedy sure I don't have it, though there's no there's no I know, there's no mastery. We when I talk about this before- and you know I said something like I don't know. If you're like comedy and, like I'm, just trying to figure it out you like none of us ever will I I I'm not saying that like you're the end of it, but I think I was one. Seeing you on stage at the comedy store in in his hinchcliffe was next to me, and I know you're doing your set killing and having to having a great show and this woman yells out in the middle of a joke, and you just can't going
you are so disciplined? You didn't miss a beat. You didn't now, you didn't give her any sort of energy or tension? You just were so like in your joke and I I just looked at Tony and he was like. I know everybody else would have went to her. Wait. You know totally just like abandon their joke and messed up the flow, but you just I that I was like damn I need to. I need to stick to my jokes. More than like indulging, who are yelling at me from the audience? Sometimes you have to indulge in. Sometimes they are also going to ruin it for the people around them. That's the number one thing to Google you're, you just can't Login hang, like people said, said that to leave there with this lady called him what she say she goes you're a planner comedian a real community. And can deal with someone yelling something out like crystals, shut off a cup and get out there and they kicked her out and that was the thing that you're a planner for saving all that I'll text crystal. I have nowhere. Yeah fuckin', planner bro, you such a planner,
Comedians are the most unorganized people ever if anything, they're the worst planners. Sometimes you have to address them. Sometimes you do. The real problem is that there fucking it up for the people around them. They think they're just they're interacting with you, but they did not take into consideration the fact that even if you don't like what someone saying. Let them say it because there's three hundred other fucking people in the room and you, don't get to decide. You're, not the program director. Decide what you like you don't like it. Just because you're in front of the person you yell something out if the whole audience is sitting there, watching the performance and the guys working his way through some material that or the woman by the way. Sorry, let him fucking finish their show. Man. Do you find you? Have which gender yells out more or is it equal, our it's equal, it's just dumb. Equal men to women said minors draw most women really. I'd say for me. It's been like ninety five percent women. I think I'd probably say
Maybe this is a little bit of a a new van and a little bit of a number difference in favor of men. Doing it. Obviously you we have a more male dominated audience than I would yeah, but guys bring their girlfriends girlfriends like that. Can you listening to their always listening to him, he's a fucking idiot and asphalt. He really believe what he's saying enough people just listen! You can get confused and think you know what the fuck you're talking about. That's what he that's exactly confused. Just 'cause a lot of people are listening to him doesn't mean he noted the fuckries talking about and you worship in, like. Oh, my god do you love him and you in a bromance is now it's going on. You should be embarrassed other side. I don't give a fuck with Joe Rogan yes, man ringing that God isn't even up disgusting, his very angry ill, he very angry a man ape it will also. The appeal is that you would like a manic. Well, I
get girls, I don't want to listen to Fuckin' Taylor, Swift, songs either I get it. You know if you're in the car and she's like haters, gonna hate you rock out to Taylor a few songs that are not bad you've got daughters in your house. I know you dance Taylor, Swift, I probably have been hammered The thing is it's like it's not my thing. It's not like what I would listen to all the time yeah, not my go to and people have different go, doesn't make it right. But if you get someone else's go to bear it? they were taken to a musical, Jesus fucking Christmas. It's a thing I musical I went to like three musicals. One of I only went to was in it. Do is tell everybody. Jessie Mae might have a bit of a stalker issue with John Stamos. It's stalker ask, I am not stalking
very nice man he reached out to me. When my father passed. He was very nice to me. He sent a message. She was very, very nice. All joking aside, you do have about good photo shops of you with John Stamos in various positions in bed on a plane together on vacation together. I'm sorry Caitlin, who, my fair oaks. My friends make they superimpose me. I find a photo of his money and I'm like put me in this there's one where he posts picture of him on bed like from like full house air out. Like somebody put me on the back and then I apologize to Caitlin, I always apologize to his wife and child. I mean for the most part I just joke, but it's so long running joke that you've been doing for years now. Kidding me like. I love him as a kid, and I I told this story before, but I haven't had a poster of him above my bed as a kid that I live.
Play kissed so much I wore a hole in his mouth. Don't you be rude? Don't you know who Joe Rogan completion? through the paper, I'm not worse. We looking at. I don't know what I mean doing all the things yeah all of the things yeah, but I I went to a musical. He was in bye, bye, birdie, very delightful, very talented man, and then I went to a couple others, but they are sleep in the other ones, the ruthless there, It's in the intermission kills me it's like. Why don't we just get it done just go straight through yeah. I think I would like see the book of Mormon. That's like oh yeah, you know, that's that's the exception. I saw it's awesome yeah, I would imagine their their genius of those guys are geniuses. It's real! It's just really well read to a really well written. Rather, it's really funny is a really good story, more information in there. They obviously did their homework, but I saw a cat once when I was on a date as public Nineteen,
Yes in general, who keeps their scary in real life? Why you want to see him sing and they're standing upright the nightmare you're a dog person, not a cat person interesting, I would like a hairless cat would like a sphinx. I think they're cool just shoot in the box in your house perfect. So do I kiss your house I'm going to change my toilet to be roman? definition of bucket yeah. They irritable cats are weird man, cats. I don't a couple cats, you you gotta zoo, I'm so jealous. I want to come over and everything in round two of my dogs died recently, I'm sorry within the last. I guess it was probably almost a year now it was Marshall said He didn't understand what was going on. He looks like he's just pure joy and happy. He is all the time he's the happiest are, let's see so he brings me joy to start following honest he. So how follow your dog on Instagram he's my buddy he's it's so weird but you can see you guys have a straight bond, seesaw affectionate.
Turn off leash in the morning when you go yeah yeah no take issue no he's been he's got tick medication that he's taken, but we have caught him with a couple of ticks on him now look surius her. This ticks are probably like. We struck gold, he loves it. We never seen anything in his pure joy as that dog is like running through the canyons He just loves it, he so happy. So how do you keep him so clean? I mean. I know you got that like Joe Rogan experience money, but he is luxurious, cold, water I mean water and I've seen these. They really, and they wonder why they lash out- Marshalls not like for cats when you die cats will start your face in like sixteen hours. Dog I about a week out long yeah, the titling. Wait that dogs wait about a week you little bit more? They want you right away. What you I think, you'd wait. I would you know what you were. I would understand. Can you just keep throwing is it you?
this rolling him over to you, which is wine, might woke me up yesterday. It was fuckking, really whining whining decides to get up like I got home from the comedy store like two and then I watched some goofy. I've been on this UFO documentary kick watching UFO documentaries. Yeah, I told you is David, those I'd say I started talking about it, but we were talking about that. What were you did? You have something specific that you would say recently that documentary one of 'em is area area. Fifty one Bob Lazar an alias area. Fifty one in flying saucers, it's uh some documents, on this guy who claimed that he worked on these alien ships in area. Fifty one in the 1980s angels as time's gone on more of the things that he said have proven to actually be true, like what being an element that he talked about element one hundred and fifteen. I think it was called
organism from outer space, known element like a man created element. You know like this carbon right, yeah well, there's an element that they created that he talked about way before it was ever publicized and he talked about this thing and then it turned out to be true. He talked about these these uh hand monitors that you would put your hand on this thing and these law, and these metal lines would detect the distances in the bones of your fingers. The exact distances in everyone is different. It's like a signature thing and that they could find out. If it was you or not you, it was trying to go through where they would scan people to Bio scan would literally measure the bones in their fingers. That was Marcia and why it is in the nineteen eighties people said, was horse then later on turned out. No, they did have that in LOS Alamos. They did have that in in the area fifty one and that this technology,
is very, very advance, very, not just very advanced but very, not It's not well known at all, like very few people, did this guy, who was created with this documentary, was very difficult for them to get photos of this hand. Scanner, but this scanner, did exist and existed exactly as this guy described it in the 80s I mean that's super progressive for that time is also important. That did approve is top secret clearance to get to this place. They know that he actually worked there. There's people that worked in the same LOS Alamos LAB with him. He tried to say, never worked but his names on the manifest. It's very strange, like they've, tried to erase parts of this guys passed because he he filmed a bunch of their crafts They were flying around like he knew what days. This is the thing that thing right there put your hand on that. It actually measures the distance of the size and length of your bones. That looks like something
That's inside of an escape room in LA I went into this documentary skeptical understood yeah. Well, I am so done with all those things, but listen to this guy talk for awhile after awhile like what, if he's telling the truth like if he's actually telling the truth 'cause, if he's actually telling the truth, there is some part of the government that add access, at least in the 1980s, to alien technology. I mean it was a case is probably is some truth to that. Crazier things have happen also like just your mentality of believing him. It's probably the same thing that made Dr Mallika I love joy Robinson. The third become successful, con artist yeah. I mean This dude there's validity of what he's saying in this documentary, which I can't wait to watch or he just really great? At painting a picture, some people are so good at convincing. You that's true of truths. True there's you know
people with borderline personality disorder in every sort of spectrum in but there they become really good manipulators. That is true. However, usually they do that in more than one avenue absolutely this guy's not doing yeah, so it's just documentary then also hasn't varied. A story. Like you mean he might have, change. The way says things in terms of like the words he chooses, but The actual story is exactly the same as he was telling a long time ago. It is a self produced documentary, their production company, no production, that's where it's like. Okay, there's a possibility that this was this guy's been around for a long time. I remember reading about him and watch videos about him. You know twenty years ago I mean, don't you think, you're somebody who you said you you know- and I know this about you- you do love space, you're, you're, obsessed with that. The idea of what we are in in the solar system. And beyond, like how impossible is it to think that there could be a creature that could breach our atmosphere with some advance this technology and be able to just sort of chill. You know
scoot around Scoot scoots Magut check us out in fucking peace out back up to wherever they're from building. That's how they would do it but yeah. I know what you're saying you know exactly: they scoot Scoot scoot, scoot scoot. They just kind of cruise around? You know they're looking at us, we had an interest in college and he said if you brought, uh, an atomic engine to these people that live in the victorian air. And said hey. This is this: is a nuclear power plant like here here check this out? They would fuck with it. They wind up getting sick from radiation. They'd, wind up dying, no one would understand what it was or how it worked. They would never figure it out right. Why would we assume that This is only from that. One time with this one device. Why would we assume that there be some other tech how that maybe we'll create some day in the future. I'm paraphrasing and very poorly. Okay or someone else from another planet, would create that we wouldn't
understand at all, and he said that's what we were dealing with when we're trying to back engineer the propulsion systems at these things. Did they you some gravity based propulsion system. And it was something that would manipulate gravity in front. It's very. I don't I'm too stupid to know the science of it- I don't know, if he's If you were scientists, you're supposed to know these Joseph I have to get my I can. You should I want to get an honorary one. Like Cosby Head, it's gone now he doesn't have internet anymore, at least automated. Once they could take back taken back. He can't keep those yeah. He could keep that. Actually, I think he wrote an essay and that's how they gave his dog I'm just not a hand rose more than one doctor? I'm yes, sure you did and it didn't it didn't deserve them, but I think I mean there's got to be stuff out there on a percent, a hundred percent, but I I'd like to say: there's not it's like cats.
You think this is just it. No! No! I don't think it is, but it is entirely possible uhm. I use that phrase too often it's in really possible. You gotta get a mashup of all of those Polaris like one hundred and fifty thousand to the, where the most advanced. It is a possibility because something has to be the most advanced absolutely and something has to be the least. We could also be a on that part of the spectrum or maybe where the ask to evolve. It's one hundred percent hundred percent possible. If there's, if there's an Infp, Number of life forms out there like, if there's an infinite number planets and there's an infinite number of earth like planets. That could you know have beings like us on it. Who's to say that we're not the most advanced. Maybe there
all like people from the 1820s yeah, there's still caught up to his linxi it they're still doing you know. I think that chiseled in stone and chisels, but I'm talking like old old ship. They don't even have pens and papers yet like the Orangatang that fishing with a spear exactly there's just a bunch of advanced orangutans that are like you know, put in hieroglyphics in caves. It's possible. It is very possible totally possible because we're just we're just basing it off of our own experience and perception of what we have been exposed to. Idea. You know the other really Bing scenario. Is that their time travelers? Oh It's really exciting to think they are, is some being from the far distant future that understands that come back and observe us and see like things went wrong where things went right, but do so in a way that is minimally intrusive as possible and occasionally interfere that things that gives me chills that freaks and once you start with time in our purse,
another and how it exists in like being able to hop along that spectrum of it freaks me the fuck out, there's this movie. I saw called a ghost story- Anne it's not horror movie? It's kind of about that Patrick Swayze. It's a Casey Affleck in Rune Amara. I think Rooney, Rooney Mara, it wasn't in. It was a ghost I miss Patrick Swayze, so much you miss and I miss him is one of those actors. I love if you could bring Patrick Swayze back and and and and take away your full house boy who how dare you what's his name again, Joseph I mean that's a tough call. I mean Swayze gave us. Us dirty dancing, he gave what up
before you move those hips those when he was a surfer member that was point break. He was the rebel surf to do you remember, the video on Saturday Night live of him and Chris Farley doing the Chippendales audition iconic Conic comedy that is like such a great crossroads between beauty, Chris Farley. Chris Farley put it all out on the table during the sketch. It is so funny. I miss. I really do Miss Patrick Swayze, but I heard he was so fit, but yeah he smokes cigarettes. He did it. He really yeah. You probably have cancer. He probably smoke cigarettes to stay fit. Some people get stuck in that you know. They're afraid of letting it go because they think it helps, with their physique in maintaining the look. My models do that stain skinny yeah 'cause, it's an upper. Yeah Chris is your heart rate and all that and what not? It also get killed. Your appetite, I think until it kills your taste, but you can't taste anything.
Everything is glue. Maybe you should smoke that's the only way you should look asses by smoking cigarettes. They don't taste it and those brain cysts like you have to have to choose, This is brutal, dude you're, making me loose stamos and get hookworm, I'm just saying stamos, Moster, Swayze, stables all really most for life. While sorry sways see on the other side will be, and I will be messaging. You later stop for a moment really We consider what you're saying think about the great films Swayze provide us with, you fucking selfish pitch. All of entertainment falls in my shoulders, roadhouse, I like. Also. You know. I know I know I feel look it is. I am D B, a poster for roadhouse blues your
either going through ten seasons of full house or roadhouse either full house are oh, no, it's full house or roadhouse dude. I mean ok, red army. In selfishly it stay most put an overall spectrum and Swayze alter mankind for mankind. Yeah. I will I'm sorry Katelin, I'm going to have to go with Swayze Swayze, that's we said we're going to start doing. Jamie is doing like fight companion, for like terrible movies. We do not stay most. We should get barbecued and play showgirls that just had its 25th anniversary. You have two people, don't even know you don't know the cult classic. And amazingly bad movie, it's so epically bad, it's kind of like what how I felt when I watched the dirt recently. It ended this gals karere it did. It basically, no, not at all didn't know. Did she take off
after that she stayed. She stayed pretty plateaued, but she was this. Who is on her way to being a gigantic superstar choose the star of this movie she's super hot she's, half naked. Then she took this movie, I'm speculating, but I thought she took this movie because because it was going to be the next thing and being such a such a brutal failure. That, maybe I don't know it's so good, it's so bad! It's good! It's crazy! It's got great actors in a to a common, belongs on land, called the clock tower, because a great actor actress, Gina Gershon, do she was amazing. She was in bye, bye, birdie was stable son on Broadway. She was amazing: what's the cast scroll back all the way up to the top? That is a great cattle all not just images. I mean her body the main thing in this obviously yeah, it's kind of like number to me more when she did that stripper movie.
Well with Logan said Gi Jane. She was amazing in GI, Jane anymore do a stripper. My favorite part GI, Jane Elizabeth Berkley, my favorite part in GI, Jane. When she says suck my dick moves like that, so I need to put that on a t shirt now, just she said suck my dick in that movie, yeah. She was like on her way to being a Navy seal. That's great! You know the Gi Jane's going through boot camp start my dinner member, those like to suck my striptease? jeez dude Domi, Moore's body in striptease was all the things She was so banging in that movie. She still beautiful, even number, I just the movie burnt into your head. It's just one of those movies that I I remember, she's she's, like jacked in that movie, in dancing very awkwardly, the very awkward stripper dance that happened. It's going on with that. Now looks like she belongs in a wedding dress like something on a television show tonight show host like Telemundo. What do you think she's?
doing these days. Some people get Super SU famous weather everywhere, and then they go. I think she's just chilling think so. I hope so she's, just chillin and just kinda- you know what was it. What we can do another movie. May maybe in a tank we absolutely should. Maybe she should do I'm sure the windy. I don't know because it would tap into a different era. We have What are you a manager now your manager at a doctor can be where she's got where she is she's taking a break. You know we gotta couple projects on the table. I don't know what you're saying you know what she's going to do. I don't know who didn't expect you to like defend you She can't do anything. I don't know like no ones, pressuring me Jessimae, who is marijuana. You still high three hours later, all I've been high for four days, but who's your sleep crush, will have one. You don't know, I'm good! You don't have like a like a fan. You know like a fantasy chick, maybe Madonna from the 80s wow. She was young, bold choice,
pointy bra was also. You know that she was never going to get hooked on. You should take off yeah ok. Well, do you think take care? You know she liked her consumer. She wouldn't like me yeah. I knew she would like me for long. That's that's a real strategy that men, some men employed like this one is not going to last. It's great, that's an honest answer. Yeah, it really is yeah. That's the That's the allure of the positive independent woman, powerful positive, independent woman is like she's, not need to need me: yeah yeah, need it all. She's, like yeah, well see there. She is yeah. Look at that help from the that's all really oh yeah, that's that's from her closet for sure she's in, like dudes briefs. In some Doyle is on her legs and apparently show on Fox mostly like to smash, said Warren Beatty, Sean Penn, bad boys see this movie that this this is the three
yeah these are the three. I know these are the twins of the documentaries about you haven't seen snow, identical strangers. No, I heard it's fascinating. I was brought up their day because you guys are talking about something I forget which podcast. That was that this movie sort of bleeds into that. Spoiler alert movies, Mccants boil it right: genetic testing type yeah, in the day like in the 50s right, they were doing it like in the 50s and 60s in in, like an orphanage yeah. I need to find some time to watch that, but everybody recommends it yeah. Just when you think, like a revelation happens in your like what the and then another one happens. You like this is got to stop and then you just like holy hell and then it's just a thing where, if some want to get something done. Sometimes they take really drastic measures. It's selfish and it's terrible and it breaks all at you know rules, but I don't know they do it at
Well, we're spoiler alert. They do as an experiment for awhile. Do it as an experiment on these guys on purpose. Yes, I want to find out stuff who is running for finish running an orphanage in not in withholding information from the families. God just have to find out how it would workout Well, what they were doing was nature versus nurture they were, they were seeing. What affects it, has an a child based on how it's raised by also by socio economic status of the family, about the neighborhood. It's in about the type of unit, the love all of those factors and what results it has on the individual right. What do you say Jimmy that's kind of in the data? They have a bunch of data apparently somewhere and it never came out. It's missing. It's gone. The files are just gone years of them. Basically, ruining
the lives of children and the effects of that is just dissipated into thin air. It's such it's such a heartbreaking story, but it's also very interesting and that's why I'm saying like how would you ever not that that needs to happen? There is a question I mean you would find out. Unless someone did something like that right, you just guess I mean we could look at all the things that are happening in society, especially with like mass shooters and people who commit these random acts of violence and go back to their upbringing in their rearing. I'm pretty sure I would take a gander, and I guess it they probably weren't raised, the most amount of love, there's certain things that you don't really know how it's going to workout until you experiment yeah, that's what I was I think, it's a little brutal, but when people are scared of that kind of thing, because that's where Hitler came from yeah, that kind of thinking like I mean, You hear about some of the experiments they did on people, man, that was just scary. Doctors, supposedly, I think, came in with the operation paper clip oh yeah is that deep into oh, my God,
that's horrible, it's pretty fuct up, it's! You know it breaks. You know what operation paper clip was: wasn't that something like Hitler thing back in the day with babies? No, no so the scientists that were taken from World WAR two, so the United States took not sign too, including Werner VON Braun, who is the head of NASA write a bunch of other scientists? and all these nazis that were working for Germany, making rockets and involved in like high level science, There are America and sort white wash the thing they called it operation holy Werner VON Braun, when he was at the head of NASA, he was a fuckin' legitimate nazi, like the I'm in wisent all center, so that if he was alive today they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. I think they're still, you know still does sprinkling of people in there for that sort of they've changed back
down to the far ends of the earth? Do that's car each of them? Those are very powerful positions to be and to have that sort of mentality driving it. That's scary. As for sure, you know it's really crazy what Argentina, Argentina and South America a lot of went to Argentina and South America, they fled Germany and TIM Kennedy who's. A good friend of mine who is a former UFC fighter, has a soldier He was on a show called finding Hitler where there was there's been speculation, over the years, because so many landed in South America that Hitler had escaped and lived out his life in in in protected by these other nazis. These South american towns, there's towns in South America compared to theirs towns in South America, where they all they do is speak German. They have October fast. They have photographs on the walls of their grand father in SS garb. That is
very, very scary. Do this credit is very scary. Blew me away when it when it when he was telling me about this disc and he's a no nonsense guy. So when he's explaining is like you gotta understand, you're coming these towns. Everyone is german, oh my god. They all look like Germans. They all talk german. Will have german like houses in German. Like the in style stuff in their house, czar I mean Craig had to be what happened? I'm I'm only no! No! No! It's just! Maybe not what happened. Hitler right pretty sure that it would die, but I'm sure they they relocated and that's definitely what happened yeah see if you can find that yeah, Jim find that is so it'll blow you away. This is America. Look, it looks like a Germantown, it does look like a german town. It's crazy, there's a whole village these, for can people, I mean and there's not just one, there's many many of these little little pockets. That looks like Oktoberfest BAR, that's really bad I mean that one looks a little japanese that well there's video
as though we would really raise either drinking at a stop signs and, like the whole deal. That's a really wild nude, it's crazy! What we see we couldn't get a mall. I mean they had to flee somewhere, yeah they're gonna, set up shop, make it there make it their homogeneous. They saw the ship it hit the fan and said, listen, I know a place. We can get some cool margaritas. We can catch some fuckin' toasting waves. Let's do you want to daydream. Springhill request S, America, that's wild! I never knew that. It's yeah, I didn't know it either. It's crazy, That is really crazy. Man is too much to know. There is too much, that's when the great things about the stuff you talk about on this, is you got the Jessica plus information. Most of I don't know if it's useless waste and time If you don't do anything with it, do you ever take in Cbd with thc?
he it's great. He delivers. It got a bit of a problem. What's the matter, the Robin hi everyday. For the last six days same, I pop these little pat tablets. In the morning it's b, C, B D, N T age see it's not a lot of one to one yeah, it's one to one perfect! It's amazing yeah! That's you know that they work with each other and they help the thc helps deliver the Cbd and vice versa. You feel great yeah. You feel balanced I feel, like energized clear. I don't know about you. I clear. No no problem in terms of like feeling foggy or fatigue. Not just the right amount, but I fuckedup and took one an hour before. Went to bed last night, I went to bed at a sensible time. I knew I was going to do a podcast with Jesse may and might as well. I want to be awake and fresh I got you babe, so that's fine, but I went to bed and I taken one like an hour or so before I was in bed. I woke up two hundred o'clock in the morning: bang ready to go freight train fill of ideas lab lamp
it can hear. Did you write some stuff down? Wrote, that's cool. I have. I keep my laptop right now by the bed. I started doing that too. Near in the bathroom next to the bed, yeah a good little league, if usually everyone's else sleep. I grabbed the laptop and I do go into the other room, and I just start writing, but I keep it in the bag. I put it right my bed. So if I have an idea in my head twice, I've written bits that about to be like real, legitimate bits, because an idea came females line there an I said I gotta just try this. I just run in the other room and I start writing and then boom. It becomes a bit not always wild. I mean sure twice over the last year, like legitimate bits have come out of, a random thought that it was pop into my mom was laying in bed now were you, you were you on the marijuana's both times. Yes, I mean there's something to it: Definitely when you, when you have a a moment to escape
like in on your data with information all the time just day, dreaming being bored. That's where the creativity for me is the most active like in a good nap or even just in a drain, you think of something like in the shower driving those are my ideas? I've had this similar situation where I'm like? Oh, this might be a good joke. Yeah! That's the argument for ignoring phones to the allow yourself to get bored and when you allow yourself to get bored, then that's when these creative ideas will come like if you're in your car, like the other thing about that, little car that I was telling you about it doesn't have a radio, it's great radio, so you have to daydream. You not just date, like you're tuned in the thing is you're doing a brand brand yeah. I do think about stuff, like I used to come up with some my best bits when I first are doing comedy when I was delivering newspapers, I deliver deliver. Papers in the morning in out of my car check him out the window. How old were you when one wow and when I is doing that, I would come up with some of my best bits when I wasn't listening to the radio.
Just driving around and then I have an idea why? Why is Is that we want the funk? Is this yeah just be thinking to myself almost like those hours became productive? They are yeah day. Dreaming is probably one of the most important things you can do for your brain, especially for creative and people in general. You know, I think, when you're doing something that requires you to do something mechanically like driving even just washing your body. Paper route. Anything that you sort of have to do this like regular, machine thing, your brain sort of just can yeah Rome in the woods and just pick off little idea. For the reason you know able to sort of give your brain a break? Your brain, always need to be stimulated externally. No, I thought that that's probably one the causes of mental illness that probably, which is uh.
We do a lot of neurological issues down the road like yeah. Your brain needs a break. You know those synapses can't be fired, all the fucking time they gonna shoot to do, give him a nap. You have amount, I'm exhausted, you know the brain needs a break, but yeah. I definitely, I think, of random things. Sometimes in the shower You can you can do that, while you're driving, you could do that, while you're in the shower running like I like to run in listening to books on tape, but sometimes it like to run and just listen to my voice, just the breathing and then you get into like psych yeah state, that's deep, deep, Bro, so deep, and on that note it's already noon, it is dude. Fuck yeah five, three hours of hanging out with you yeah, I'm still it's not and started a little late, because we had some tribe crash, caster We also started late 'cause. You had me on these. These magazine machines. That's a sponsor the so right. These
amazing! I have like chronic stiffness in my neck from traveling. Sitting. Awkward in Jamie was nice You have to give me one of the. Yeah they're, awesome, but they're great for leg. Releasing these weird hard to get muscles in your back. Line that thing yeah to examine it, see it's like real light to. You can carry and take it with you. It's some! who's, the first one was it Michael Chandler told us about it: yeah. He was the first guy that it's, before the so as muscle to target it yeah, but where the v were girls, who, like that v formation, that muscle down there, the dudes have the v, you probably let's see? Ok, yeah Jamie was talking about this. I think, just go with that's what we are. You know, you're on to Sears ever sign studying I am, and what kind of podcast is this? I'm a god. Damn doctor Jesse may tell everybody how they can find you on the internets. You can find me my websites Jesse may not come back
the female we may on twitter fun of me because of that Instagram is Jesse. Maple loose and you can check out my sharp tongue, podcast and she's touring all over the country. Hilarious stand up comedian, my friend, I love this so much one of my favorites thanks for having me on this was such an honor that we find it yeah. Thank you, bye. I'm a scientist. Thank you! Everyone for two into the broadcast, thanks to our sponsors, thank you two mushroom coffee from four sigmatic mushroom, a lick serve mushroom coffee. You could save twenty percent off your four sigmatic order when you go to four sigmatic com, Joe Rogan or the discount code, Joe Rogan at checkout, that's Fou! r S, I g M a t. I c e dot com, Slash Joe Rogan, or use the discount code, Joe Rogan, at checkout for twenty percent off. Thank you also to Movement Watch is, ladies and gentlemen. Constantly drop new styles beautiful
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Transcript generated on 2019-11-09.