Jon Reep is an American stand-up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast "Fried with Jon Reep" available on Apple Podcasts and Soundcloud.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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like today is a hilarious, stand up comedian, all around great guy. You might know him from the Hemi commercials, been a million different things sitcoms and the like television specials he's awesome.
Please give it up for my friend, Mister John Reep,
My Joe Rogan sure you haven't alcohol. Let's get crazy
they're actually less pace ourselves, cheers or much ugnius. This don't do not do that too. Sweet dangerous
zero alcohol. How many calories, though we scared dollars Bro Ty, stay alive,
we're going to get your job back plenty of calories already. I have to ask you to drive in to me: no
it I got dropped off in a chevy. Oh my god! This is outrageous. I had one for a little while just a little while you figure like you, would have to have one for quite a long time. It was fun. Well, I'm going to backtrack to live there, so
first, commercial right that I gotta me
right. I did six of these things
and around commercial three I was talking to my
Jenna. I said man, you know if they ask
do another one
here we go thanks the worst I've ever looked in my life. I really felt like I was sitting in a desert like no one's ever going to see these commercials. No one's gonna know what I am is incorrect. I couldn't have been more wrong: yeah yeah. There is a look that bad ass. Did they give you one and you just go out and buy one? Well, I said: listen if they, if they want me to do another commercial see if you can get a vehicle and off right,
in my agent was like you know, make it their problem. He calls him up. He goes hey. I don't know if you know this, but your hammer, guy you're
spokesman is driving around LOS Angeles right now in a Suzuki sidekick and there
like this week and that's what I found out the fucking mobile device. At the same thing.
It's the lightest! It's a box
if you could put a string to it and float in the airs that that shitty looking jeep thing. Yes, why you have? One of those I did yeah red
I don't know why I for some reason I like that saying I got it in college and as we like it yeah the soldier. It was cool for tailgating and there it is yeah. We got it, that's that's the l, L cool J version of that one. What's the jeez, I don't know. I think I saw that the video window, because it's a complete, that's the one. I had read your ad that hard TOP Dan.
Yeah! I
that thing in North Dakota one time hit black ice.
Made a gust of wind. Just knocked me off the road and I was in a ditch, but it was. You know how people of motorcycles we'll see another motorcycle no way from it. It's like a little club that you're in and jeeps do it too.
And I started doing that, other Suzuki Sidekicks an for ovaries, I'd waive him nine times out of ten
It's like overweight, black lady and
I just went with that are like what does he do. This was like when the club man so, but
Yeah people live gonna, give me nice cars, but to do that with shit
cars, two yeah, that's
that's more fun! Yeah, like I see you,
they give you when they gave you him. It was a one thousand. Five hundred
dodge RAM, Quad cab, black log chrome, feel comfortable with and loved it. I love when I first got it.
You know it's like it's like in the middle of six of those commercial, so
this is right around LA with the windows down just blasting. You know Leonard Skynyrd and shit. Yes, perfect, comedy store and like park. It I mean they hated park in that thing. In that lot, 'cause it's gigantic. It's a wide and then like really man just have spider up.
Yeah Brendan Schaub's been showing up in his. He got a raptor, oh yeah realize how wide those things are until you stand in front of him like a huge fuck that fucking giant
vehicle and then trying to valley that thing anywhere in LOS Angeles. You know
tiny little mexican dude. So like really man well, the worst is. If you try to validate a stick shift, I try to. I try to give a valley, my keys to my bronco, and he didn't know what to do. You don't know how to drive a stick shift goes. No, I go what the fuck are you doing here, man? How can you have this job yeah yeah? That should be uh
part of the resume but can't drive all cars. It's crazy. Another thing, most people
How do you know anyone under thirty can could drive?
I don't think so. No
I'm thinking it's going gone, yeah Porsche. It doesn't make him anymore
muscle cars, one of the last holdouts like Corvette.
Camaro, I haven't driven a stake in a long time. Mustangs. You have no two mantra sure. Thank you. Last time I did, I was in Costa Rica wrote and I rented I rented a car and I'm like
I just assume all of cars now or when you rent a more automatic's. You know you get another country, it's it's whatever, and so I'm pulling out of the lot and it's like oh shit,
it's been a minute. It's pretty embarrassing, to put app available in popper like I got this when you're in ITALY. They all drive, stick shift even like mini vans, yeah. It's weird everything.
The stick shift over there. I'm not sure why I don't know. What's the advantages and disadvantages, I mean, what do you prefer? Well, if I was in
where I was in ITALY, it was in revelo, which is very
small, little roads,
tiny and it's like crazy congestion because of tourism, and
The guy was always on the clutch back and forth back before those like you know this is the
be annoying as fuck you on automatic, and it's like L a give you and if your commute,
into L, a bumper to bumper every day, you're gonna,
an automatic exact. That's what happened right. I think you're right yeah yeah, it's just more comfortable but flip the card to the work, but if you're on a mountain
good, like the angels Crest Highway, and you want to share there's something cool about being in command of the vehicle and
you telling it when it's
manly yeah. It is and got a dick in your
yeah, and if it's a woman gotta go WU. The way to close this one yeah, yes drive in sticks of cycle she's a rebel. She might be a problem. I hate great in bed, though maybe yeah for a little while
and then and then Burger had problems, she gets mad at you for email from twelve years ago. I didn't even know you that what the fuck you find this phone come from. That's my flip phone!
that might Zuki sidekick. We were looking at that thing,
from ces at Jamie pulled up? What is that goofy thing called? These are good right,
feel like I'm drinking a nonalcoholic alcoholic like a regular beer, Lantic Computers, Cosmo Communicator
at the floor and outside of anything that is, that is
wasted development, someone was doing coke and they decided that have a spaceship, but it does looks at it like you need to have the planet or a spaceship one in front of it. Look those metal wallets that you get to keep your credit cards yeah, but to keep preposterous credit, but you're, not using your fingers, preposterous missing your fingers. Would you fat, fucking
I'm not going to fit on that thing!
able to do that. I mean at this point we're so used to doing this. While I go back and go to back
That now do you ever go sideways on your Iphone
yeah. I just take a picture. I will never not typing no way. I thought that was the move. I'm like! Oh once we go sideways, that's going to be the shit. Have you tried on an Ipad? Have not it's not bad
yeah, side ways alive, yeah like we have to type on the full screen, video or both hands, not bad yeah, not perfect, but it's fun right way better than just your thumbs on Iphone yeah
accents I use was. If you can type, I used to think I would never get used to that. Just that you know the key, the the the screen without feeling it
look at that little front screen like you, gotta bunch of shit that comes in on it, look at that apps and stuff. I guess
no one's buying that son. How
there are so many options now, if you don't like apple and your can,
Did you like an android phone there's so many options? Why would you buy that thing? Won't even
what company is that exactly? That's also,
the problem right now that would be gone like. Where do you bring that thing to get it fixed? The screen crack
can you bring it to the mall? What is it? Is it Cosmo communicated Bro we're going to have to go to the future and fix this like yeah? We can do this in ten minutes. Nothing. Some si mean I gotta
text screen now and
it's not even that bad, but I've seen people
walk around with like Damn spy
a web on the ground. I'm like when are you going to go, get it fixed? What's the point,
glasses, falling off this? An indication of you need to get your shit together. Yeah, that's true! If your phone,
looks like a like a haunted house.
I would like you know. Seattle is going gonna, be
music? How cracked is her screen? That's a good point. Give me your phone like a girl.
You can deal with a little crack. That's probably something care! It's ok, she's cool, this little crack in the window in a corner. No big deal five years ago, fuck she's easygoing. She doesn't even need to wear, make up bro,
what if he decides to do like this and get the light
just right, 'cause, it's like a damn fool scroll matter will make a t. Is that part of the
last won't work now yeah? What about the other way they're going with the flex phone
well, not really going that broke, but this is another one that came out at Ces, two that they recalled Samsung recall the ones I suppose they were called all of 'em. They done release date now, they're, not going to know
I'm going to come out and they break in like crazy, apparently flixflux.
But then is it flexible at Bens, yeah,
How does that one work? All I'm saying is like open the video of that the Samsung One had like a little teeny
I don't know if line in the center of it looks like a little flat.
Aquarium that we put sea monkeys in it does right. It looks like one of the ones: it's like a pillar and a shitty hotel in Miami it's up there by phone for hours. Someone needs to clean the tank
They have a wild way, has a flex phone. It looks way back.
Other than the Samsung One. It looks thinner and it
I they just nail the design better and
the side of it. That's it a different
someone unknown or sorry. Royale Flex pie beats him son and, while at a market sells out, if this one was it full that fold in half
yeah yeah they're making these things where you can flex and bend him like one thousand times. Oh, how weird yeah? That's weird, how I spoke out fat. That thing is it's like Karen Vhs tape in your pocket
right. I mean imagine the advantages and disadvantages of watching porn. On that thing, oh there's advantages yeah, just like what I ass and then you got
turn your phone upside down. That's pretty wild, how it works. That is neat yeah. Well, I hope it works so that the version three or four in a couple of years is way better
and these broken ones yeah well for sure, you're going to see people at concerts holding up looks like
twelve inch ipads 'cause, it's gonna, be these God. Damn things in the Future
I've seen that before now, yeah
Disneyland. Would you do that? Yeah they're everywhere a man you're right now I hate it this specially, like a comedy show,
it's like the the phones, bad or not, yeah Ipad. I have a Tesla in uh.
The Tesla has this SH huge screen, it's enormous yeah and you get so used to it. So I go from that to another car with a little tiny navigation screen like what is this bullshit yeah? It's funny how you get use of things, so I'd rather have a Thomas guide. When I first
did you have one of those and you keep telling God he had to pull over every five feet bill Burr,
had one of those. As recently as two thousand and eleven
came to my house you to my house and it's fucking Prius, he still has a prius that asshole got a one billion dollars is gonna fuck, it Prius, hey pulls into my driveway, and I see the Thomas Guide is back seat yeah, those fucking that navigation shit. If that goes down, can't figure a way around town yeah you lost up in the
there's no connection! Tomasky works every time. I knew how to
good man back in the day. Oy. Ten, I know how to do that. You go eat that and that's why I need to go. Do I need to do write it down yeah? That was always dangerous, fuck up and also
super mexican community chickens around sounds great
is Sun Valley Sketch never been a Sun Valley. I think it is
I've been there once I got think I got lost lossed. I was like this is not so not
you got rid of your hemming. Did you say this is from the the guy like this? That should be worth some money yeah. Well, if I thought I could like auction it,
yes yeah our Ebay, like I took pictures with it and everything and work now. It was like this with this, but I think it was when gas was at its highest price in paper,
right. Now. I think we're moving on to other things out of high now in a fight
but I had it for
about two years. Well, I was married at the time
and that thing was hard when I would leave and she had that car it was just hard to back into the
the garage or any, we had the small two door, two two cargo
version. It was hard to get that thing in there, and so she she's she could better that we didn't need it
we gotta. We least a Lexus are RX three hundred and fifty for a while. Those are dope. I like them
I like when you drive like a backup camera in those things. That's very nice, but you drive a truck and then
get into a little car like that, like oh yeah, Gyle, I'm like a dancer
what was your first car
car was a nineteen. Seventy three Chevelle Chevelle S,
yes, it was a shit box. I drove it from the
guys house to my house and then it died it. Never it never worked again. I did I drove to my
girlfriend's house, and then I drove
back to my house and then it died. Yeah then I called the
by him fucking car
and he came and gave it
that gave me the money back and took his car. Won't in my car, I'm like it died. Just doesn't work. Wow.
Like a day. I had it for a day and then my
horrible yeah. Then I had a nineteen sixty eight four four two they're wrapped around wrapped around a telephone pole know what hide your yeah. If you didn't know how to drive back, then, then you had like kind of balding tires and you hit some water cars
just go sideways.
Is this loading in there yeah? It's crazy, it's crazy, for you can't do anything about nothing about it. That would take a turn into it. Good luck, nothing's happening. I was just going sideways was like. I can't believe this. I just got this car. I had that one for a few months now and bang that one up just how to play
just hide yourself now, is with a couple of guys from school. You might get hurt. No, where are yeah, but it fuck the car up. I was in the Fiero, remember Fierro yeah, my sister had one of those is like a little ferrari
Remember these to do so small. These do for do Ferrari kits for those is it turned into a fake test, a rose
our Braun there, yeah, where those were
interested my friend Joe, had with those two. Those were cool little cars, yes and got right back in the day it was like either in my hometown. It was later this year that yeah take one of the the the ridiculous curate is adorable. Those cars are so gross when people do that yeah- and it's obvious-
It's like! No one wants that once you get. Is that one that can't
Is that a Fiero? It says great job, that's crazy! That one actually looks good. Let's have a beauty trick, some really dumb girls with that we go to Miami.
And really dumb yourself only dumb ones like if you were only looking for really dumb gouls. That's your car, DOM gold diggers.
Turn the brothers loaders? What is that in a plastic yeah? It looks like lawyers sloopers yeah, it's probably plastic rear window. Oh my god. They make some cars with plastic windows. Just save wait, relax, relax with that
we, my buddy and I he
had one of those we hydroplaned spun around couple times to
hold it hit another car that was parked at a body shop.
They had just finished it, no he's like cool
I guess I'm doing two cars
totally by slamming into a car that was just finished to a body shop yeah there was serendipitous uber. Is that guy's friend
get on down the uber yeah. I love over. I wonder how much that
vending, drunk driving. I just had this conversation yeah. I think what you know.
Others against drunk driving MADD? You know, maybe even the government should kick in. Like you know, these guys are saving lives, yeah for sure, because
if you're not doing that, then you're drinking and driving most likely most likely. So it gives you a real easy option: yeah, it's so quick
convenient. You don't have to pull cash out. It's it's great,
kind of a weird organization of both of them. It's like they're, trying to figure out if their employees,
contractors and then there's like this fact
you're just getting into someone's car. You don't know them yeah yeah I mean. Do you assume that you get a limo there's a background check right. If you get a cab, you living on the edge bright house goes right. We never now right Robert Deniro. If you look at me, I taught him about a psychopath. That's what you like, but
we get like New York City cab drivers. You get characters get either.
Like angry white dudes or
I like guys who come from other
countries like could tell you cool stories. You get like characters, yeah, weird smells and yet crazy smells lots of weird music, possibly a voodoo doll. But
now you know what you get when you get in New York City cab driver get advertisements need screens
like they have little laptops facing yeah and they play these
these credit card machine back when they play these videos about things about rest
Bronson this, and that shows
it's it's own network. At this point yeah like just the cab network, it is kind of right. It must be
machine that he probably has their own little loop, that they play Jimmy Fallon and I mean seeing him on there. Many times do and stuff
remember they need to do that. Hbo show taxicab confessions, yeah. That was crazy. I enjoyed that
who the fuck is signing this release, what you giving these people
to be on tv and they would say the worst stuff like if you're fucked up on coke and you
into a cab- and you start just talking shit about all the crazy sexual stuff that you like
and then afterwards, okay you're gonna, be on Hulu like fuck yeah. I am inside that thing. When you wake up in the morning. No no call doing met this uh this waiver at the right time. Yes, that's gold, that's a good move. How does that work like hell to get if you're hammered? I have there's gotta be some loophole.
I always wondered about that. The catch a predator show yeah,
why they sign with they have to sign a release. They yes or cops, they have to say,
they release yeah. You have to sign a release so yeah and then there's like. Is it entrapment? Even you know there was that whole thing too. Well that shows definitely in trap
pen, but it's entrapment. I support yeah totally. I support entrapment. If it's like yeah hey, do you want to fuck a six year old, one hundred percent until you do get in the cage you fucking piece of shit, that's right, yeah! This is starting to trap them all for now talk to you in a fucking anybody under eighteen. How do they get away with that? How do they going to show in their face, maybe because they were proven? Give?
t you waive your rights, but just by being guilty, you have no rights. When you're, I don't right
I think you understand that you have no rights right. Well, you have
any Sanders wants you to be able to vote even if you're a terrorist, have you seen that
he's like anybody in jail for anything like you should still be able to vote my wool. Ok, I don't know a lot of people in jail. That's true
what if they count as residents of the state
maximum security prison somewhere right in these prisoners? Have everything like they have all day. Then I need to do
and they register to vote while they're in there. If you have a few one hundred thousand prisoners,
yeah? You literally can shift an election one way or the other that's true. All you have to do is
get into that prison ego? Hey guys, here's the deal, I'm for shortening your fucking sentence is
yeah, I'm forgetting you better lawyers. People would start
campaigning in prison. Does legit mad like these laws are bullshit and you bribe him real easy with a little ketchup cigarette cigarette?
bring in cigarette truck in carton of cigarettes. How do you win this election? Marble reds? What's that name judges,
was his name. How do you say his name is tulsi
I'm voting for her. I decided I like her matter in person. I don't know I give up. I give up
not night pay attention. Anything else tells Gabbert, but if you could go into a prison like what is a what's up,
What's a giant prison population, what's the
biggest biggest one, I don't know
this one is the biggest one I don't want to be in New York. California.
Is that what is there a giant one in Colorado that Joey doesn't want to take the serial killers they stuff on the ground?
what is love,
what's the biggest one, let's take two thousand and four he looks. Ok, do you say fifty thousand prisoners? I don't know much about that. That's probably a lot of
people think about spread the arena right.
No, that's true! Well, no! Fifty to sixty thousand the biggest the biggest yeah. What's the small,
It's what it's probably some rinky in the ass, but a bit.
How long have you been in jail? No
I'm going to say a little lighter, I'm going to say thirty thousand, don't say thirty, thousands of the biggest they put money on this I'll put a dollar on this. I don't give a fuck boy,
I'll bet you a Heineken double zero.
We got game rich for my blood. What we got Jimmy's. I have to be very specific about what I look up. The finest answer soon, you want largest maximum security, sure yeah killers, not people smoke, weed known as Alcatraz of the South, the Louisiana State,
There we go, has an inmate population of five thousand. That's it damn maximum security, so
That's super criminal. Yes, if you go a little bit less than it might be a little higher okay, let's go with thieves.
It's going to mediums maximum is like violent crimes. Writing is present yeah the biggest prison. That's why I look more just prison that thing that popped up. Okay,
maybe a way off.
I thousand looks very occurred X in Florence. Supermax prison. There's one super supermax prison. That's so I think you're talking about okay, even higher without have way less people
transit, says well, that's even hired criminal yeah, even yeah criminal level like where they put the ice. Twenty three hours a day, Tom Tom Single cell confinement.
Five thousand is a lot of people. Confinement is so weird because, like we're just we're killing
but we're just killing you with nature. We're gonna, kill you with old age and shitty nutrition from home. Yes can keep you in a box with your own brain and that weird
yeah. So it might be more cruel to put some
it into a small cage for twenty three,
day. That is to just kill them. I think so. Yeah. If you just kidding it's over with
yeah? So it's suffering yeah one hundred percent, like one hundred percent, might might take.
Chelsea Manning who now free yeah, like they tortured her. They tortured. They did yes was naked in a cage by herself,
for years, I think it was like the
She was in Sala. Terry will have to find this out once James done with this search, I'm like looking around is the one in California is male only wear Manson is it's got three thousand five hundred there's one in Illinois.
Medium security, it's got a thousand okay, so way her way off by a factor. So
estimates. I thought it was going LO and I was off by a factor of ten. I don't know if it's just his counting into there's private ones, and I don't know if I could get the numbers on. Prime,
those dirty bastards stuff and on top of each other, although it makes sense if there were thirty thousand
in one place man, it would be
Contain that and control that yeah, what
is the largest private prisons. If that's
she was in solitary confinement when she was still a dude. Does that count
like, as her being like, has two different studies. You that you say Bradley or do you say Chelsea when she hadn't changed yet
yes, can you still say Bruce Jenner won the Olympics, or do you say Kaitlyn well Bruce won the Olympics. No, no Kate
what does it say these Caitlin? Now you can get right now. You know if you dead, name you'll get kicked off a twitter dead name.
Dead naming, and I never heard of no ESO se if you become Johanna reap, have you decided at this stage of the game? You know what fuck Emmys transition yeah yeah, I'm I'm wearing time for previously yeah it's time to get my legs waxed that what we got. Reeves, county detention, complex and pesos Texas has a combined capacity of three thousand seven hundred and sixty three prisoners and it's three sub complexes wow. So that's probably about it
big as it gets, yeah you've dug that car and you still can't get anything over five thousand. So it's in the thirties, three hundred and thirty, three thousand five hundred aboutthe world. So if
You change your name with Johanna rape and I saw
saying: hey, Jon Reep: what's it like wearing dresses, pretend you're a girl, that's dead, naming you a dead named you 'cause. I called you John.
Because I knew him is Johanna right right, Bruce,
This is the one who won the Olympics, but that's dead name. Well, that's what
don't be an John you're so insensitive. I can't believe this. I found this day and age. I'm gonna make you subscribe to listen in on the Llano Park, your shit together, shit. You need to get out
my timer so way behind. I just kidding about more similar to what she's doing,
I don't know there was a good name now to throw around yeah
Alyssa Milano!
she has she's active on the on the twittersphere. I believe so, yes, she's, very political yeah she's, always arguing people. I think as one of the people you know they they booted John Woods. You know, John with the actor they booed him off the
twitter. Again, like you did something, I
anything that big a deal
First of all, who refresh my memory- James Woods, I'm sorry James Woods, yet John Woods, people probably matter for dip. I know this New York cities. Rikers island has popul
in eleven thousand, but I don't know that other all prisoners or not- but I mean like there.
These are vacationers collect the sprite workers that live on the people want cheaper and it might be half town as yet.
Yeah. Do they really
perfect commuter. Fifteen thousand prisoners, verse fifteen thousand prisoners.
Say about our basic yeah yeah? Now we're in the neighborhood. When Turkey that's got ten thousand nine hundred wow
Ok, so it's about to get! He gets that's a lot
So if you go to a theater like
he didn't arena like fifteen thousand people like Madison Square Garden, that's a lot of fucking criminals that you can take care at all you gotta put on
the Chelsea Manning thing like now, she's free, but then she got locked up again for contempt of court, but I think when she was law
step in solitary confinement, they took away her clothes.
They wouldn't let her have clothes 'cause. They thought she was suicidal, really
I think that's just an excuse so when they okay, so when the key cold was was a male he's.
Bradley not dead. They don't do it.
The Olympics
That was in the was,
let's see in a male prison that
good question and then, as a female, does it go to a female prison? That's a good question!
well maybe that's why they put her in solitary, alright right protected from dudes.
I mean that's kind of a loophole that let's say, if I know
Well, I'm going to prison and I got like a year before I would get sentenced. Am I just going to get that sex change right? So I'm with females?
right I don't know, maybe or just your chance of surviving anymore. You just have to identify. Oh
do you see that male who identifies as a female just broke all these world records in weightlifting lifting the new one? Just came out. Wonderful, that's congratulations! Everybody! You broke everything fucking, so so progressive preposterous that we broke everything you have,
then that are winning winning women's world records in fucking weightlifting, which is like
dumbest shit for men and women compete again. So there's every one thing, even though
The tennis argument it's like! Well, you know: Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs yeah.
Bobby Riggs was fifty five. She was twenty nine and they say that he threw the match because he bet against himself all right. He was a big gambler. That was what I heard yeah yeah. I would say that two of our laws- yeah, you know, said through the match: yeah. Well, it yeah bad.
Ten is the woman that one says Chelsea: this is
the women who's winning is not Bruce Jenner records. Let's get a look
here. We go seems like a huh.
That seems like a very strong man.
Yes, so how much weight is that doesn't vary a lot of weight?
so this is about. This is about reps here, three hundred three hundred three hundred and fifteen
This is ridiculous amount of weight for a woman lift and
So if you're going to be a real woman, biological woman excuse me and lift that kind of weight. You have to be a real outlier, it's very rare, but this is so ridiculous.
Wow. This is quote what what is this comments say? Congratulations on performance! Anybody knock! The hard work speaks for itself, hey whoever you
you yeah. You have in your nonsense in the case of what is what is happening in the first place, because people tolerate this, and that is nuts, if you, if you had a daughter, the train, your whole life to be a weight lifter,
she's really into it, and this fucking guy
as he identifies as a woman and then compete as a woman in weightlifting. Just fucking
top yeah, everybody just stopped you're in
crazy town. This is a
really crazy out yeah,
fucking miles how it's legal. What legal is it legal? It has nothing to
do with being open minded and tolerant. It has something to do with logic, just basic reason. This is
craziness. This is your enabling people to do something. That's preposterous! This is nothing
do it being open minded, are kind of people. I'm one hundred percent for people
being trans sure, I'm one hundred percent for people doing whatever they want to d'oh. Just don't hurt anybody and I'm cool with that same here, but this is just you're in make believe town. Why not pretend you're a fox and go live in the forest, like your dear men, make believe this is make believe you can't. You can't just decide you're a woman and compete with women right
this that's make believe you can all I there's no advantage make believe that's make believe, there's an advantage. Fucking know, there's an advantage. Yes, everyone knows. This is crazy,
see that in the NFL you know you got like
before and after is it two different looks
see this person is saying I don't want to shame this person. Look someone's letting her do this right. You know it's nice to problem, that's the problem. They should sit. There should be a transgender league right or there
should be, you know some rules where you have to compete with the chromosome, your birth, you don't have to fucking compete. Most people don't compete in or
I sports most people don't and if you're trans
Maybe that should be something you can't do it, and particularly for girls who transition to boys. You know at school in Texas that won't let
this girl is transitioning to a boy. They won't let her compete with boys, so they make her compete
girls and she's on fucking testosterone, so she's taking testosterone to be or he's taking testosterone. Whatever you want to say I get so confused to become
Zer, is taking testosterone to become a boy and then now is forced to wrestle with women with young girls. In fact, all jacked rat
Jack. Like a boy. It's like a boy wrestling girls, crazy, probably pop a boner, doing that I don't think she has one. Yet you can get a.
Little thumb, but it broke. You grow a thumb, that's what happens. Oh yeah
yeah, the clitoris gets a little bit bigger yeah and did that ovary sort of like start getting
suspended in a I don't know they come to this dropped. What do they do? No wonder the one of if they remove those parts you know because they do has to
Tommy's on women when they have disease and one if they do that when a man, when I'm man transitions from a woman yeah, but a man trends
actions from a woman yeah when you used to be a woman and now you're going to the yeah. What do they do? I just
can't wait to the day where they can do it genetically where
a woman, really becomes a woman like a man,
comes a woman or woman becomes a man but guess Wat, even if they do
here's the issue. If you knew that a woman
took steroids for thirty years and developed,
Jane, tendon, strength and muscle strength and then stopped
on steroids. It is a scientific fact that you are going to keep a very big percentage
those gains. What are the game? What is the percentage that thirty percent of forty percent, whatever the fuck? It is whatever percentage that you would keep after you get off the steroids that is sick,
if Icant in, even if you're, not currently on these performance enhancing drugs, your body,
has been artificially boosted
to the superior level through these drugs yeah
and you lose a lot of the feminine unity lose the breast. Yes, there's might not come back.
I mean a thing. If you take estrogen the probably me I don't not a fucking doctor, I'm a moron
What I do know is when this is we're in nonsense, land, it's not it's not saying that someone can't become a woman
and the woman and I'll talk I'll call them a woman I'll treat him like a woman, I'm cool with it, I'm a hundred percent cool with it right. I'm is open. Mind is I come with this, but this is. This is unfair
for women, which is what's so ironic about this, because everyone supposed to be looking out for women if you're looking out for women, but
also blindly progressive to the point we let in shit like this fly now you're not looking out for women, because
now women are in this weird position where you put in them at an unfair disadvantage. Fucking crazy. I agree God damn it makes me want to drink real Heineken
I'm getting to the movie on this double zero. No, they just sent this stuff to me. It's good yeah.
Used to love Heineken light. I talk about that subject a little bit too much, but it's just it's a symptom
of a sick society, it's a
symptom of a lack of rational thinking, a symptom of
just just being bending
were backwards so hard to be progressive and open minded that you're just you're
giving into these extremists. These crazy people that are looking at this
completely delusional. When will it snap back home? It's coming trump, that's! Why
Trump's press, but that is he's gonna win again. He's gonna win again other who can beat him they're not going to be there's no one who can write he's going to win again he's going to win again because of shit like this. The more shit like this happens, there's
what's after truck down there,
is another four years, Son Donald Junior-
Donald Jr was with a friend,
of a friend of mine, his name is crispy and he
he's a disabled, veteran or he's very able, I should say, but he's wounded veteran. He was missing his
bag amputated burns over most of his body super positive attitude, great
anyways. He doesn't get political online. He took a picture with Donald Trump Jr and Instagram took it down
for violating the terms of service. It's just a photo picture of just photo with hesitance son yeah photo with him a truck junior to stand there and they took the picture down that likes. What that, what do you Dylan yeah
maybe they a glitch did when they do that. They give you a reason, but they just do what they want. Well, he
he posted it. On his. He sent me a direct message about
two yeah. I actually reached out to him. 'cause uh on, follow him, and he follows me, and I was like this shit real and he's like yeah and he's super Paz.
About. It means this guy served our country too, and he's a great guy like his his it's is
Instagram handles crispy, eleven be yeah and he just
put it up there and they said that they got him for terms.
Service and they took it down and he put it back up again, good good for him. So this is the photo right here. Let me say when asked Instagram says that they didn't do
so they didn't do it, but who took it down that. However, in some spokesperson, told Fox NEWS, the post was reviewed but was not deleted by the company after I found the post did not violate their standards, but that's not true, because it's missing spokesperson said that there are a number of reasons I post may no longer be available, including the account holder delete, Seether, the account or the post. He saying he didn't do that, so it could have been some
exactly, I mean you can't prove it yeah. I don't know the compiled. This dude is not an attention whore and he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't
then lie about it. That's ridiculous! I make twitter, Instagram could be lying,
It could be a glitch too yeah. You know. Sometimes it's for two. It is glitched. It looks like a massive conspiracy.
He said they sent him notice. It said it via
in terms of service is so if he said that he's okay, yeah, that's what I said back to pretty sure. That's the screen shot. You want to make sure that that says you violated something yeah, that's what you want. I mean
it's just so weird. What's going on now, everything just seemed so fucking preposterous yeah, just like on Facebook, Twitter, all that
Jeff. If I get, if it's something negative, I just you know, that's gone, I don't I don't let a lead. People just are bashing me on that stuff. I
okay! Here it is once I landed, I open up Instagram and got a message that your post was taken down for violating instagram guidelines. So the Pope Post that,
yes, he did well there you go in a minute. Let me see if they did
I posted a thing saying it: okay, here's what he posted it. It said: wounded veteran violated community standards by posting, with Donald Trump Junior. He didn't post the
notification, but you probably don't even save it right now. Would you please? I believe
I believe I just thought you're right. It is a sad
overzealous employees. I think there's now yeah, I think, there's a huge company yeah I mean you. Anybody really get a minute yeah what the what that, what they were, the ones you think the reading do
pics been fucking with them on the other way. The other way around someone could have just flagged it by a bunch of boxes just made it disappear.
All right to get a reaction like this yeah, so it could be simple, as that, can you do that sure? So, if you just had a bot,
wouldn't Instagram review it manually before they delete it. No
so they could just be taken down, happens. Another accounts for that doesn't get reviewed. That way that just got taken down because it got flagged so many times I don't know well that's why
thing that we did learn from talking to what Jack Dorsey the CEO of Twitter, like it's impossible to manage. There's too many ghosts they're going up right now by the thousands.
If you could see everyone, everyone in America posting on Twitter right now be like it would just be fucking I mean imagine if you can see it all happen, supernova explosion on my God of ones and zeros, just bustin all over the place and text just chat. Who do you think like if you woulda grab somebody's phone, the most popular person gets tweeted the most
just look at it. Just looked at it yeah. How fast would that go? You know that, like just that that one account
sane of years ago, so I don't
I have my new follow a lot of people or do you just yeah put other people yeah. I follow a lot of other people. I just followed when everything is. Someone is interesting, so he's got cool pictures of fallout guy yeah
thousand hit like first yeah.
Let me see, let me go back here. Yeah, look at the check, so what else is persons make sure that not whacking? It's really funny people get mad at you for certain people. You follow people that you just stop
following R Kelly now, don't tell me
do that. First of all, first of all, don't tell me to do whatever. Second of all, what am I doing in my boosting up his profile? Please fucking R, Kelly. I don't know it doesn't matter if I follow. If I don't, I want to know how crazy here that's right, you did. You see Tyron Tyron Woodley
UFC top welterweight former champion had a thing on his instagram page of him watching r Kelly getting interviewed.
Where who is who
denying that he knows how to hogtie people targets laughing at him play this play this. He still here all in this interview, yeah, crazy shit, ain't funny, but dog
gotta hold that people? I see people
all done
Ha ha, that's good,
he's not using the confident today, haha to whole house. I follow r Kelly for the same reason that Solarius yeah
I love real talk with you ever watch that video real talk. We played it
podcast multiple times real time,
one of the greatest unintentional comedy as it's ever been real real talk, yeah, all my god. What is it? It's r, Kelly Song? Okay, he's an argument was girlfriend on the phone. While you are for a girl, I was girl for the phone is like kittens hair done and the smoking stogies drink. It's got different outfits on yeah. It is still in the conversation and there's one part where he goes. I
I wish you would burn my clothes real talk.
I wish you burn my mother real he's serious about that. Listen. I absolutely feel for any person that he's victimize all absolutely do you get what you cannot deny that it is fun have colors that to this day, this call they just
try, try, try trifling, that's right. Who is who did the is best african American saying of also Rifle Trifle Flynn trifling and it's one
white people cannot use its too.
Pronounce it too good. On that word. I own that word as much as they own. The n word right, OP trifle link, you can't be traveling, you can't eat, renounce the Gian trifling yeah, you can travel in yeah. That's why why people are not allowed to use. It was running exactly s. Their trifling stuff there try political shit. This is a bullshit in trifling ass, trifling! Well, here's the thing I bet gay guys used rifle in a bit
I will pull it out out with him over there, but it's trifle
and, as you know, it sounds like a rifle that you travel with. It's a trifle. It yeah like a AAA travel rifle there. Thinking of banning those are good for long range, bring a trifle with how many people do you think, had to look it up before Webster had to answer this question. What is a trifle?
definition try for laugh, lacking significance or solid worth, such as
as a frivolous trifling be trivial. A trifling gift see chiefly dialectical my
God lazy shift list in a trifling fellow. A trifling fellow diners are trifling fellow. Is I that's the most english thing you could ever side. It got very wider, counseling! Fellow he's a trifling fellow.
Don't bring your ass over here without raffling fellow yeah? That's a word bro! That's a legit word! Trifling. Shit was going to say something else.
What did we talk about right before you, r Kelly Kelly? I, like that point. He didn't
album where it was a lot of just talking
in the closet, yeah yeah there's a whole series of videos
Aziz had a whole thing on that,
I think you did like Aziz. Ansari did a bit on it. I believe
so I know you had a bit yeah about r Kelly. It might have been about trapped in the closet trap. The closet is great, but it can't fuck with real talk. Real talk,
we'll talk to the jam. Have you seen?
weird Al Yankovic trapped in the drive thru. No, it's really good.
No! It's the same length as R Kelly's trapped in the closet, and it's the same and it's
all about being trapped at a Mcdonald's drive. Thru 'cause, the person personal friends taken too long,
and it's like the fact that he did the whole song is,
yeah, yeah respect amendment admitted respect its
it's animated! Oh my god. That's hilarious, which one is this. Is you
weird had our been around for a long time? Man yeah- I mean I remember when Michael Jackson's beat it came out and he had eat it, eat it yeah,
and that is it said that it was I'm fat yeah.
What year was that that's kind of been that he's it's going to be late eighties early? Not yet it is hello. My name is real real. How old is here weird AL
that'll be eighty five years old. I think fifty nine, what
five, twelve back, then his first song aired in nineteen. Seventy six,
He was a big on, so he was really a doctor
and Tucker Demento got a room hit. I listen. I was a kid, but that's a they played all these weird goofball nerdy songs yeah, he was the king,
but he has a huge following alley. So he'll sell out places weird AL yeah that makes sense yeah.
He's got so much if you ask so giant body of work. I like his hair too.
That panel is a super nice guy, too yeah and smart have hurt yeah with everyone smart. What else can you say that
yeah he's a good dancer too, except his
gender? You know well, so he's not trifling! That's why
Definitely not trifling yeah, that's,
it's like there's certain words like that one?
you just seem so ridiculous. If you try to use it. Oh this one is going to say: yeah, were
talking about,
but my daughter is watching these. You tube videos of this there's, this young, gay fellow yeah that does make up tutorial seems Charles all. Okay, he is enormous. Mike is enormous.
You know he probably gets more views in any network? Show that's ever been created. How old was this? Fellow he's young Leslie twenty
Okay. What would you say Jim I'm trying to call you out if I should bring the says he I just blasting a pop in my head during Coachella. He got accused of being in this viral video that happen. It's at wasn't him, but there's a did. The ferris wheel could tell it not. Have you ever seen that in I'm talking about no the big famous thing that people take pictures in front of during a concert you could see a silhouette of
somebody getting head in there and it's two guys really. It's a very vivid video that was going went super viral on Twitter. That night,
They were saying it was him yeah? How dare they he's all about makeup, not head,
sons of bitches keep it. So we apply your lipstick. It keep it clean, but it's hilarious, my sister, my sister, my daughter, sits in front of the tv cackling watching it just correctly. Is it supposed to be funny? She thinks
swimming. She thinks going for laughter. Why don't know
he's covered in crazy makeup? I think what she
laughing at though, in all fairness was he was making
fun of someone subscriber six million sixteen million people. I think he was making.
One of people that put on too much makeup, so he was going crazy with me. She thought it was really funny that is fucking
banana, sixteen million people and he's doing makeup. Tutorials, that's great! He looks great, that's the thing. It's like
we there's an audience for this Kardashian all kinds of shit like this, that you would have never expected
because on demand access, especially like through computer, is so easy
It's so easy, just type in the next thing: Jon Reep just bone. What's next, just pops up yeah! So like these people that no no
work in their right. Mind like NBC, would never say, hey that young guy, let's get that guy to do a makeup, show that get the fuck out of there.
First, you don't know shit about ratings. Eight million subscribers, that's crazy, would be a fun game to play is like what rabbit hole would Youtube
bring you down if you typed in this, I just let it keep going. That's on its own
problems, people think that a lot of those algorithms are essentially designed to get you angry. Oh
his stops see. What's the next thing, yeah
inch our children, what are they teaching our children next? This is the problem of illegal immigration. I knew there's a fucking problem and then next thing you know you just more and more angry yeah. That's like the argument with Facebook, too, is that there trying to figure out what gets people to engage.
Age, and so the algorithm realize
what you engage with, and then
it's what they show you more and what gets people
man yeah it that makes a man
I watched fight videos on Facebook all day.
Just like you know like brawls, in a schoolyard or like you know, just it just
keeps going on my old man what's going to happen here, this kid, his age. Do they? Well, you know
I'm not that I don't do much of the fighting. So when I see it as like. Oh this is interesting who's going to win this one, and I like it. When the you know, when the the underdog
yeah I enjoy watching it yeah I mean I will watch them. I want is to it's, obviously, someone's about to die,
that like a like. Her couple punches to the face of the best
ones are when someone deserves it? Yes, those
once you enjoy, when someone's being a real dick yeah someone's, like listen man, you're being a dick
I just saw- is a guy on a it was I want to
old middle eastern couple there on a subway and this dude's like smacking his wife in the face like that and this other guy's he's across from him and he's recording it and he's like no, not
not for me. They walked over there and see a tough like eight times. A stop than of any of this stuff punch, and should
so it's nice to see it. You know
yeah, there's one of a kind of like a bus,
and some guys running his mouth to this old white guy who's. Obviously ex Vietnam, Vet and he's telling like just leave it alone, then leave it alone and it comes down there and then he walked up to the front
and they just states the shit. I love him and- and you just see blood coming out of this face and, like you know, he started this. He engaged that whole thing that guy
is walking away and then he goes the best ones. Those are the best ones. When someone deserves it.
The thing about, like a guy smacking, his wife in public yeah like how, off
to he smacker that he's so confident, they'll, just smacker
yeah everybody right like it's. It must,
I think, it's acceptable and everyone else is cool with it. You must think
he could just get away with things yeah sometime
people just think they can get away with things.
There was not many people on that bus in this video,
so I think I like the most anything I don't even pay attention to it or that most people just gonna, be too scared to say anything yeah. That's what mean that this is where it gets real
jerry 'cause. That is the best argument for the end of all privacy
is that no one would ever be able to do anything like that. The whole world will be watching
Any honest like you,
You might it depends on what kind of action you could take
It literally see everything that's happening at any time everywhere in the world, yeah
we are not everyone's got cam, so it's like it's close right, close then they're going to have those fucking foldable things cops honest you're, keeping
yeah the people on us now a little bit until too much alcohol is involved.
To it, because if you think about
I needed a speech on secrecy was like in nineteen sixty one or sixty two about how a born secrecy is.
Dangerous, it is for a free society.
Talking about secret societies and secret. You know, pack,
in the government. He was basically, I think, a lot of it was him talking about some of the
the shit that experience in intelligence agencies, but,
when you have like kings or when you have people that are in power like how do they wield that power? One of the ways they will? It's all secrecy if they want to execute people, and then I kill people are tortured, it's all secret, no one that the world is not privy to it like what happened to him. They took him to a bunker, something and they're beating the shit out of them tortured,
like North Korea yeah exactly there there just isolated from the rest of the world and who knows what the hell he's doing over there. So if we, if we just of the stuff that allows us to know yeah, no, that's the perfect example of power in secret.
See right now, like they just take you and make you disappear. He's executed a bunch people, oh yeah, the way don't even know, I'm sure that, over close to the tip of the iceberg,
I'm sure that still goes on here, too yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure people are killing people for someone right now
you know some of them deserve it. Yeah give an extra one for me right now, stopping a man. It's it's also weird like what will accept people die?
I'm from like, I was listening this podcast. This wolf lady
she's, a wolf biologist. She was talking my friend, Steve Rinella, on the meat eater Podcast and she was
talking about how we accept people getting killed by mountain lions like it happens, happen twice last year
it is not it's not really common, but it happens, but the moment that people start getting killed by wolves in America, people gonna get furious really yeah because they re introduce more
wolves of the nineteen. Ninety four that's right,
so that so that's their outrage that we
did that too yeah. Well, she was
Klay. They were saying it was reduced to really interesting things about the podcast of all a lot really institutions, but to that really stood out, was one that these these people, they they
and reintroduced these animals in one thousand nine hundred and ninety four. But there were already some wolves here and the wolves would probably eventually made it down there. Is it Yellowstone right, yeah yeah, but that we aren't
did they brought him in and it wasn't just a natural fixture. We have this thing like so many ruined this somebody fucked this up and the other thing
that they number them instead of name them,
because if you name looks like others, Delores Delores killed some, she will have to take her out and we can kill, not Doris, but I know
or three Wolf one hundred and fifty seven right, yeah yeah, that's true, like inmates prison given
exactly it's easier to kill easier to treat like cattle right so, but we did
one guy killed that mountain lion? He fought back
yeah. That story turned out to be horseshit, yeah, that right yeah, that the mountain a was yeah. It was a real kitten had been separated from its mom. I think his mom got killed,
and was really really small and really young. So it wasn't like
he might attack it. Do
Alright, he
well he's talking fucking little bit. Yeah he's a bitch
if he's listening right now, I'm sorry, but I think, will happen you're alive and we're happy love. You better, not touch, wolves, buddy
I think it be, was starving to death and it took a chance to try to kill him yeah, that's possible too, but it was very small,
thirty pounds which still a thirty pound cat. It's fucking. I never saw pictures of the
cat that one I the side either, because something and ate a lot of it by the time. Now,
Did he say how he did it? Did he put it like a toe cold or did he he said that what I choked it stepped on it? Something like that? Oh man, yeah! That's! If you saw this thing going around the internet about this wolf pack being tracked, this actually six of us
moving gift over time, but oh yeah. I have seen this it's amazing. It shows how they never crossed territories, cool six, different packs. I think yeah.
Well established their territory, they mark their territory and then, in all respect it yeah. It's like over Minnesota yeah
Minnesota is a shitload of wolves. Apparently, if it keeps going and it's a picture, Jimi Hendrix
This content is, if you pull back. Wisconsin is a shit. Little of wolves, apparently like thousands
yeah yeah. I could see that and it's a lot of no woods up there.
Land, not many major cities. I think I saw on once. I think I saw a wall phones, but was you
like in the wild yeah, it was big.
It was, is either a coyote or was a wolf, but I think I might have been a wolf
because it was just getting dusk, and I was in alberta- and I saw this thing run across the road I was like that might have been. A wolf
but if you see a wolf this the spooky thing is: what are they doing? The circling you checking you out.
Are usually alone right now this is a lone wolf, but that's rare. That's an asshole,
kicked out. You ever seen this video. This one is great. Look at the size of the thing comes walks across the street.
Oh my god, this book Jesus, that's a bear that such a big wolf that saber.
No, that's wonder what that way. Is that it's a big ass, Wolf, that's what that is.
That's probably one hundred and thirty pound, Wolf or somewhere. Is this
If I had to guess this, be Russia Wolf, it's had be legitimate.
Problems with wolves where in Siberia they have these Super Pacs. They would get together like because they were starving. So you get like one hundred wolves would form a super PAC,
We kind of do whatever the fuck, they want it once they get that bag and they started killing horses yeah go in a horse stable, so just
that worked out a horse, easy yeah, but it's just the idea that
the Super Pacs they realize
It was too hard to just take over shit and all these pesky people in their guns in houses,
so they got doesn't fucking horses now Siberia's always been an interesting, but in Russia. No,
you know have you did you do up there? One thousand nine hundred and ninety rap before communism fell. I was there for three weeks well,
four communism. Yeah yeah we do over chart was in power, whoa yeah. It was new spy, pretty abstract
only a little more visual, slow, wow,
pretty good. Would you say I said hello, I don't understand please and thank you
that this award- I remember it- was this program founded by
MIKE D Eisenhower in the 40s uh. It's called people to people where they said the Youth of America to uh,
countries to hang out with that youth to promote world peace and that's all it is, and certain kids from high schools are selected,
and yet they go even a Washington Dc. First for three enough for three days, the the the debrief you and then you go to another country- and ours was russia- is awesome, have a great time, wow yeah and a
Bert Kreischer. That too, you know 'cause. He has the whole machine story. I said I feel like I can't tell my russian story, because you you
and it's so much with your machine store that. If I do anything about this, that it's going to look like. Oh ok, you do you got in Russia story. Do you should tell it people want to hear it they'll under
yeah? They don't think I kind of got in trouble 'cause. I was trading illegally on the black market over there. We do it on purpose. I didn't know it's doing it because it's likely story
it like tell me more.
That's kind of what happened this dude
I was talking to this after, like a function that we were at. You know where they, even
the some town, some village and they come in. They greet you with bread and salt and they would dance around, and you would just
with him and hang out or whatever, and so
I was just talking this kid. You know they speak perfect English. You know we're the ones that don't speak Russian, so this kids trying to teach me Russian,
yes words and I thought he's pretty cool is before the internet. You know. So I had a bunch of these
pins that my mom gave me from a phone company where she works. She could just give a mate pens. I love anything with English writing on it. Anything american they're, going to let it bubble, gum jeans ink pens, so I was like yeah.
Let's, let's be pen pals, so
exchanging addresses. You know like I keep in touch with you. Why not, and I give him a pen,
he's in his address and what I don't know is this,
it's already kind of in trouble with cops
for trading illegally on the black market? I had no idea, and this cop just grab both of us, the US into the hotel
and no one saw me from my group get grabbed by the way, because I was
doing my own little thing that this did right. Learning russian cuss words. So we go into his office in this hotel and
they're, just cussing each other in Russian, and I don't know what the hell's going on I'm like dude. What what is this
in big trouble. Here I mean you know he goes that this bullshit, I'm not worried about that. This is bullshit and they scream some more. Not a cop doesn't speak English and so
basically my translator disguise to the cop
and my hey man, I'm with this group. You don't know what's going on, and so he kicks that kid out, the russian cop, and now it's just me and this russian cop and I'm looking at him and he's looking at me and he looks at my bag with all these ink pens and he's like it goes like this is like.
Let's see if I call you wanted in so I had in my pin- and he looks at it is that kind of cool he puts it in his desk and it goes away and it comes back with this big ass.
Russian pendant, sickle and hammer thing with,
he's coming out of a pretty cool. Looking thing. It is headed to me, then he goes like this, so he technically arrested me for trading and then he traded with me, yeah nineteen nineties, when that happened, that's pretty crazy,
It was fun to see all that shit though right before it fell. Did you see like lines in the street for food or anything crazy like that yeah um not well yeah? Well, I saw linens to red scare of Square Lenin's. Tomb um
went to some smaller little, dank, U villages
which swimming in the Dnieper River right close to where Chernobyl was like fifty miles from Chernobyl and whoa so but yeah there was definitely tell it was definitely some poverty going on here
but not not to the extreme that you hear you know
didn't see like these lines around buildings
for toilet paper. Anything like that, but you know that's what it
communism was on its way out too. So it wasn't in the worst part of it, but it was definitely
I was eighteen. When I went over there there's a picture of me in Red Square and I got acid wash jeans. I got a bugle boy, t shirt on and I'm wearing a fanny pack with deck shoes, and I'm just doing like this thanks, so that was fine man yeah,
to be a hell of a flight to right how long's it take to get there. We went to Germany First little layover there for like three hours Frankfort and then how so yeah I I couldn't even tell you how long that thing was
it's been a long time. Seven. Now that isn't
interesting country to me. It's always been an interesting country because it gets so fucking cold on and that they're hard people
and they create all these amazing fighters. There's so many
great fighters and rest and wrestlers have come out of Russia.
Former Soviet Union drag off rocky.
Five thousand four hundred and forty four,
the new one was scary New Orleans from New Creed Rockies,
You know that I've heard I haven't seen it yet Drago's son is
fighting, who called creed son. Do we know the actor? Is it out yet the creed-
that I think this filling out the son of Drago. I don't know some russian cat
okay, probably already famous over here
I think so I don't think so. Yeah, there's the guy look at him
Drogo this is son. This is my son like a badass it does. He still badass. I'm sure that this is
Joe, is perfectly square. That is like a dam square. How much bigger you
is Sylvester. I don't know how tall is Sylvester. I don't know, I think, he's about nine.
He's taller than me: I'm fifty eight ok, so he's either five nine or five hundred and ten. Ok, so that a little bit Drogo must be huge like how it
Let's say he is 'cause. Everybody was jokes around says, he's five, eleven or and eleven thousand five hundred five, fifty five, but they do that with everybody yeah Tom Cruise,
of ten see that makes sense. So he's two inches taller than me: five, ten yeah, okay! Well, yeah! I think I'm fifty nine, I don't know, haven't measured myself in a while. How tall do you think? I am, I think about that.
Time now in high school, I always like, if five have dinner table, eleven people are bigger. Now we're old people that are small and as people get
bigger and bigger. These kids today that are getting hitting puberty when they're six yeah,
hormones in the meat five five,
they probably accentuated, is height for that that scene,
that's just his hair five inches. Look that damn hair looks like he's almost like a foot taller than he doesn't it yeah. They probably had
they probably had him in heels, and how to barefoot or something barefoot or something for that shot
like at one point during this movie Rocky said, go ahead and couldn't hit me for real one time.
Just when you know so make it look real because they were always
you know there like a ninja piling on the swings and it almost took him to the hospital
that's right, yeah. I talked about that in like almost stopped his heart, dumb idea. Dolph Lundgren is a beast right, he's a Caesar professional yeah, Kickbox, Kickbox, yeah, really good Sylvester Stallone longer and put me in the hospital during Rocky four yeah. I believe it don't like people
bro. You know he. He also liked the realism, though I guess
one of the even use the clip right
He also has like
cruise in his neck from doing the Expendables. Oh yeah yeah. What do you got? You just put intensive care for five days because of that
this with nuns walking around Jesus Christ,
wow insurance company would not pay out until after they saw the footage of the incident once they did. They wrote the check. I want to see that
He said. I see that punch. He hit my heart so hard that it banged against my ribs and started to swell and that usually
happens in car accidents. I got punch
beast: man is a giant dude. Why would he ever he's a serious striker like he knows how to throw shots? If you watch him in his movies, he's ah he's obviously trained yeah. I want to see that footage. I want to see that part out. It's gonna be
out there. What, if Sylvester Stallone? Wouldn't let anybody see it the way it just want to embarrass the way. Cried
it he's like that lady grapes and falls down with she loses her breath. You can never
be an action hero again. If somebody sees you cry, that's true right. Some cz, like legitimately cry from a liver shot. You just shit yourself, he's looking
why shitting yourself is probably
the most embarrassing thing. A person do right, yeah yourself, like a a guy who's.
No for being handsome and debonair, and you just can't make it to the tone in time. There's no control over and shoot yourself in your car. Were you driving? You know, white leather seats. That's the word!
It's it's gonna happen to it happens. Everybody is gonna, be
time in your life. If you eat risky yeah right yeah, I think of the
this handsome person in the world. Not only does he have an all around the world splash it all over herself at some point in her hotness a day. Most likely.
Do you remember that I don't like thinking about it,
Woody Harrelson moving.
Was it now was up, was he's throwing up
Woody Harrelson movie where he played the bowler. Oh yeah,
Oh a kingpin kingpin yeah! That was a scene right. There wasn't a shit scene in that
I was I'm thinking of dumb and dumber. There is a should see that well he's all set in the year and all that's about it really! Well yeah!
yeah. That's right! That's right!
I know how to do it is that a fairly brothers movie at king, dumb and dumber as big shit seem to with Jeff Day
That's right! That's what I'm thinking it's laxative in his yeah hanging, he's hanging on to the lid like it's going to get shot to orbit and he's going to make it all this weird noises
yeah, because Jim Carrey was TLC on his girl, poison, poison, his friend yeah, that's it
there there is full on but kingpin was it a fairly rose movie
that's that's one of my all time, favorite comedy movies came
I think that's a great guy. It's great. I remember loving it, but I haven't
getting so long, I'm going to look at it. Look better. I'm scared to watch movies that I love
again yeah. I don't see him and, like the light of two thousand nineteen ago, yeah yeah, I was terrible yeah. I know that's happened. A couple times happens right yeah, you remember the so far only yeah look at that. Don't worry,
that her that her
amazing
he's. Who is such a good movie that I saw on their make up had to go like I I'm sure that was his decision. We're gonna make your hair just fan out randomly because
This cat look like a spoiler on a Fiero there before Donald Trump yeah. You have like a little trump thing going on there. It's very similar professional bowler. Now in the PBA that has a full on
Orange Afro right now, really and he's like really good and he's from my hometown, see if
or bowler. You gotta do something like this standout aware, like purple, glittery clothes or some shit that smart, it's just branding these peacock and he's like there is that dude from Hickory NC,
see. That's why he wears that shit
Please get Barbarossas got to. I mean how the fuck out
you get attention when you're a bowler exactly like that might be the only way to save bowling they might have to like
so like roller derby and just knock into each other weather bowl.
Out of bowling man, I've never sat down and watched bowling, always get a good friend,
Tommy, what's his name
bow- are real nice guy. I met him at a couple of shows, but this guys are e
pro bowler we're talking about like the financial opportunities of bowling.
And it's not good.
Pro pool players away on both surprised, it sucks it sucks fat. Dick
Tommy are his? I'm sorry,
told later recently I bowled my kids yeah. I find bold yeah. Maybe I think that's it yeah Tommy blues. I think
with was yep. That's him did turn hundred percent
I went to see him. Bowl is good God really fucking killer bower.
Can you make it curves now now now even tried to email that mother? I do too right as I stand metal I do it as hard as it is certainly possible or it's just
starbright for people to watch and now they have it they have to miles per hour up there. You can see how, if it's like a damn, you know yeah pitch and bank, I'm trying to get that fast yeah. I just want to smash those things I get annoyed at the guy.
This is like curve. It really good like it goes way over here. It just whips real fast and then a gutter ball.
Well, all that, for a note, the fucked look at all that you did. You have shitty whip. Now. Watch me right down the middle struck.
To me. Bowling was always like breaking in pool it's like yeah, it's cool to break the balls, but the real cool things to play the game.
I'm like this. Is you just breaking the balls over and over again, it's the same. Look every time. Every time boats like bowling bowling, you
breaking balls. That's all you're doing like when your boy
When you got pens just knocking down the pens runs actually more eat. It's the same thing every time yeah. I know the combinations are different in the way the collide in the where you impact is different, but it's still the same thing. It's a done
I'm game. I'm sorry and my grandfather was a big bowler man, bold leagues, and he had trophies in his house and shit used, love bowling.
When I was like a little kid. I was analyzing bowling because he take me bowling with him. I was like this is in the nonsense. Game scams: nonsense.
You get into it just you can smoke and drink, and it is a thing
they have in the EAST coast in Boston that they don't even have anywhere else. It's called candle pin bowling ever see that shit, it's worse, smaller version. Do you bowl with a softball?
that sounds more fun to make, but it's huge in the EAST Coast, hometown Ohio. They got a few places actually with Jack bars that have all these lanes. For this thing, for candle pin bowling
it's called pins or yeah. I was looking down on that. So I came from my grand Father in New Jersey. I bowled regular bowling like a fucking american right and then I'm over. What's his candle pin bullshit only, would you guys steal this from Finland or something? What is this nonsense? Games with my pins, all market now see I didn't know is that that is ridiculous. Now they were shaped that way, throwing rocks thrown rocks at pins. What I was talking about this is really just the bar
Is that this is not what you're talking about? Well, I mean it is, but it's way smaller and it's really just like a bar game ono. This have like five lanes or ten lands, and he could
so but it, but it's the same game
been bowling in New England, they'll have like bowling alleys and you all. Let's go bowl and like all week
and only people like what candle pin only
bowling alleys yeah. So we're going like these candles, that's what I want instead of
fire it only works on the east coast. For some reason, there's likes a few of those things like about this. This highlight
people are places that long ago and fault that boggles fast size actually is way smaller, and I was thinking in my head. I want
miniature bowling. Kind of
Okay, a little ball too steep bottle bit yeah, so it's kind of like candle pin bowling but
depends of the pens are different. The shape like candles. That's was called candlepin bowling. If you look at the mess in pens and not on the lot but like fat on the bottom, it's like what of what we've been here,
yeah boulder, not make a commitment highlight, I think, is one of the most corrupt games. Oh yeah, someone, someone try to tell me explain: it was Joey. He was explaining to me how high life
works that it's all about gambling and the only reason why it works is that people are betting on the games and so because
people are betting on the games. They get these guys, these guys just fucking missing it on purpose and yeah. It's like it's rigged. I might be wrong.
If you're a highlight player, you like full, do Joe Rogan. However this this podcast again, I get my information from the church of what's happening here. We go look at that. Damn glove is look how they play
With that it looks like somebody with a one, long freaking nail. I think they're holding it right, solid, wrapped around the wrist yeah they're, holding it like a like
your tennis, how much more fun would be if we watched a baseball game with the picture. Just had that thing, boys
it's so stupid this game looks so damn it what's the goal. The goal was losing. I don't know they're, throwing it off the wall and then another guy catches. It I'm going to throw it
but they were somebody here to get hit in the face, pretty quick, they're, putting forth minimum effort even when he falls down. It's like that. Guy he's fallen down like he's, trying to get a foul
well yeah. He done it looks like he flopped and soccer the soccer flops that all he soccer flopped it that's why
we'll, never make it in America the flop you can get up thirty years of flopping.
Wait watch it on tv. We know what you do. You know, though I think it's catching on the NFL and then be a flop they're starting to flop a little bit more because they see what happened. Isn't somebody analyze who's free, throw to the analyze? What you mean
is someone that Anil there was an ESPN analyst who analyzed um. What's the guy's name of the big crazy beard, really good basketball player, oh from the clippers
how to I don't know what I literally don't know shit go to,
who Andrew Soul, Kevin Durant, is that it,
Andrew SALT and got Andrew SALT Schultz's twitter, page
so he he had it up on his twitter and I watched it. I watched it analysis
France Treen, so him when he's challenged any through the free throw verses unchallenged? What is a large part with the beard? I'm sad James harden Blank okay
challenged, meaning someone's trying to block him or is a free, open Shaka when he has a free, open shot. He just jumps up in the air and does his three is three pointer, but when he's challenged he throws his legs up to hit the other person. So
to fall down in his ass. Then I could
a leg. Kick associations move? Well he's, not even
even a self defense moves he's like making forcing contact with
so that can fall down. So it looks like it's in
it looks like you got fat, so here you'll see him watch watch no ones. There watch watch the jump jump straight up in the air just straight up in the air and this guy
I analyzes several shots. Where he does this,
then then they show when he's contested and when he's contested, he jumped
up in the air and look. He throws his body weight forward and all falls down so in the hopes that they'll be a fine
yeah, they're, saying like. If you look at the way his body moved when someone's contesting him, he moves when
leaning his legs towards them to make contact. You think that's involuntary or voluntary, involuntary see. The problem is that pencil neck doctor fucking pushing that
just have him he's out specifically non specific in the last two or three years for for getting himself to the free, throw line right at a way higher clipped and almost anybody in history. So, like that's what they're also family, you can't fault him for that
using the rules of the game sure to play the game right. So this guy is exam. Who is this guy who's? Examining this? You know what I can tell he's gotten ahead of Intel Center Guy, so
they sports and a guy is analyzing this and he's realizing that the legs are
moving in a direction towards the other player, because the guys there
which is might exactly be? What he's doing it might be that or it might be, that he has a different reaction when someone's in front of him, like you almost want to kick the guy away from him yeah, I don't know most times, fouled. Ah three point it's empty as ninety
five sixty more than anybody, so yeah
I'm going to be on the sons got van pelt. Doesn't yet, but it made it a rule to cause. You may correct. There's a big thing that happened over the weekend on their game because you have to give the guy a space to land, because a couple years ago there were a couple defensive players that got in trouble for hurting people there get their ankles turned ruining their career, which has been running this team's chances to a championship. Lots of money involved, yeah they made of it's a flagrant foul liking. It's very bad to do that. The referees, all the sudden didn't didn't call this on.
Sunday, like the very first time all year. They stop calling calling it that's. Why they're talking about really and they stop calling it it because people taking advantage of it? Why they stop calling? It is the big question that people literally talking about for forty eight hours like. Why are they doing this? Bringing up the question of like? Are the officials really involved in the game and
It's become a big discussion. Another reason why I won't watch it. Do you watch sports? I watch football. That's it yep
do you worry about brain damage? Well,
yeah 'cause! It's going to ruin the NFL. Do you look at a different links? Go down before the way you look at it differently than you did like.
With that concussion movie uh? Well, I played high school football. I've. I've got hit so hard that I've seen stars and that kind of stuff, but I think that could happen. I don't look at it differently. To answer your question. No, no
I think it. You know they might change the helmets and I've tried
the year. Do you member like when it was just leather helmets? There was less concussions 'cause. You would not lead with your head
now. You have a weapon on your head and people have used this such and so,
I would love. You know how they do throwback uniforms. I mean, let's go throwback, equipped
you don't put the weather helmet back on. Take that take that stupid face mass golf. You really should
but you have to change so much
change so much in the way people there's so many different factors. The way that
this, where they set up plays, would have to be a new game. I don't think it's going to happen. I think the perception of
helmet being safer, fuck. The game up, I really think, did but alright
to think that bare knuckle boxing like they should have
knuckles in the UFC, but then I've been watch
in his bare knuckle boxing stuff and people get cut up so bad now
thinking. You know what it's better to have padded knuckles, it's better! It's better
fighter so that the letter helmets were padded. They just weren't like a hard shell in the area of Shell. Is what made it up. You know yeah. I used to this as a weapon, so that's literally the only we gonna be able to stop some of this brand
and you're still not going to stop at all they're still colliding into each other
They say these guys are getting brain damage from getting hit in the chest they get,
in the chest in the head snapped back in the rain swatching around, so their skull. Well, there too they're changing, I think, maybe like a younger like little league. Now, it's like you can't do tackle football until a certain age. So now everyone's you know it's all flag football to a certain age. I think now, though, that'll probably happen to see
yeah, and then the practices will be different, where we only do pads once a week.
But for the real game will be amazing if they ever came up with something that definitively fixed it, like some stem cell treatment or something like that, that region
related brain tissue and bring you back to your normal state right. If they do that, then we have to worry about it anymore, but until that man, but that's gonna, be around the corner. That's close. I
think that's a very complex question of how to regenerate neural tissue brain
tissue how to get rid of all those abscesses and all those things you see in those people's brains and f c t they develop these like holes in their brain yeah. It's serious shit yeah, it's um wild ass sport. Did you play football or no? No!
No! I wrestled in high school. I was little man. I wasn't arrested. One hundred and thirty four pounds yeah little bit of good running back football fuck outta. Here there was enough
dude, look sure the fastest guys are small and just you know, doesn't faster runner, fast, kicking and punching and stuff, but it wasn't really a faster runner didn't do.
Running, but
when I was in high school and I was wrestling, they would
going to tell me like the coach coach Murphy, who is also the wrestling coach. He was also the football coach and he's like oh come on you're a sick fuck. You should you should play football and I was like dude
that guy plays football. We have this heavyweight. His name is Bobby Baker. He was three hundred, he was enormous, was so big. I was like he's not squashing me. The fuck out of here
Artists I've ever been hit was by little did in practice, probably like five seven,
and he just he was ah d B and it was a practice. I was like third string running back in there like. I was just running up the gut and I was falling into the end zone
right. It was over and he had a run and start like twenty yard head start and it is like he came up from out.
The ground. Where filed and knocked me back up, that's the hardest. I've ever been hit was by a little guy
so think about speed momentum, Dedo
oh yeah, with a hard helmet. That's what he led with that. But you know how fast
I go really good athlete can run and just think all that mass behind them adjusted
crash yeah yeah does the
see those guys get hit in the amount of force behind them? Getting is probably, unlike anything in sports other than a car accident right,
other than like noise car yeah yeah. I think they should bring.
They should. You know how hockey that you still fighting Hockey NASCAR fight yeah pull out in the pit. Stop wants Duke it out
yeah. If there's a caution, everyone else's lap- and you got two guys- would have a beef pull over get out of the car.
In the middle of the infield weather apps. We have a wrestling ring and it's like full on, let's go get in the rink will get. It will give you two minutes
and then, if you win that match, maybe you get a little time shaving off you know, so it's there's advantage to add watch that more
If it were like half wrestling, half man put the naturally brain mascot
NASCAR is a weird one right, because it's it's obviously fun to watch it's fun to be there, but it's not
as phone as formula one. You
formula, one you like well, this guys are going way faster while those wheels yeah yeah. I mean that's
a whole nother thing. You know those wheels
much it's over you're in the air right
yeah these guys and ask a lot of that happens, and it's fine. That's true that one wheel, wow yeah, those guys die yeah. Well, I guess NASCAR guys did too not as much anymore but me there. Anybody is driving a fucking car going.
And I, what am I saying but there's something about. If you ever see the video between they showed Gt3 racing versus formula one racing, it's the same track
and they show a good Gt3 car like a Porsche going around
this car really fast, and then they
all the same exact path being taken by a formula one car you, like Jesus, watches, watch. I pray you get these yeah
One on the left at to hundred am Wolfe how much faster they are now
same track. Does Amtrak exact same turn? Look how much God, damn fast
sure they are bad things like that, so long car going on the right, I don't know that's insane. It see
amazing, perfect line, he's cutting see how the line the perfect racing line is cut into the groove. Like you see that darkness yep, that's a bunch of talented drivers. No thank you. I think the fastest I've ever been like, maybe one hundred
and and fifteen you ever been on a race track, a bit on racetrack yeah, but not at a pace car.
You know a NASCAR yeah, but the, but the Daytona five hundred has that huge. You know the incline and just being down there and seeing that standing there next to it like. Well, I didn't know
that's steep. You have to go fast day on that them, then yeah
a while yeah and people get hit up there. The bump wheels up there and collide and fucking spin out. Look at that thing. Yeah, that's not it.
Yeah? That's a serious bang! Look at wow like a wall that is little turned to the picture, but
What is what do you think that degree
is like what angle they they've told me before Africa. It's probably like it's pretty serious, though twenty
degree thirty one degrees, wow wow, that's crazy! That's in fact that I mean if you would be nervous you're on a skateboard on that, then you have to go a certain speed just to stay up on that. Probably right.
It's such an american sport. Man now
car, so American, because it's allowed as fuck the cars are gross. They look this
they're, so gross look and yeah. They don't look anything like a real cartoony sponsors are all over it. Even if you have a really nice car, that's supposed to be the model that that cars and that the cat Askar Caro's gross net and they the decals that make fake headlights sticker
yeah, but I have a wife and put that on there yeah. What are you doing? Why you lying to Maine yeah yeah? It's
fascinating piece of equipment, though, that we've decided
make these things that just drive really fast and then hurl them around the circle this oval over and over no high tech like everyday count every drafting of it. They know it every angle, that's all that back in the day, it was just
couple good old boys and moon shot trying to outrun sax yeah. That's that's what I want to see that was hot rod and in its finest that's what it was. That's what I want to say put moonshine in them cars and that's funny. That's
it all came from US guys are trying to figure out how to get the fuck away from cops. Cops.
Several chandeliers cars, men, hello, you think they had to chase people like Caprice classics does a dentist it with, but bench seats here. This is the worst car for doing with dress shoes yeah, I'm not gonna, make him wear a stupid shoes. It here, yeah.
Looking at some Nike. That's back in the day that
the early bitch
I was on the ocean was Daytona five hundred the first event. You know, I think so
think. Well, I don't know, I don't know about that. I know that it was on the on the sand.
First Daytona was on the sand. I believe out these air on the sand. Yeah
the driving in the sand. This is crazy, they're not going as fast all those cars,
convertible, those the batmobile. They are convertibles
their convertibles
wow. That's what I want to see what I'll bring back today, convertible in NASCAR. I want to see these dudes faces. When did why they made him in convertibles. I have no yeah well that got the roll bar yeah, but still
I mean I bet it gets too hot in there and they probably never air conditioning right, yeah
It's probably it's on fire team here to get out when you don't have a roof. Yeah yeah those people probably died. Those things all the time, those shitty.
Ours, and if you are a car racer back, then you were going to crash.
No way: gonna you're not gonna, keep together every time. What's the fastest, you think you've been in a vehicle
I to you know you'll say where what country it I in
this could be in Germany on the autobahn in the one hundreds yeah yeah,
there's some.
No, no, that think that would have fallen apart yeah flying off the
the newest cars, though the
is there in this horsepower war, where every year they have to have a faster zero to six.
And now they've gotten to the point where they're they're ridiculously fast, like the cars of today like if you just bought a regular car today, it be faster than a muscle. Car was in the nineteen seven
and you would even feel you know even tell you're going that fast like if you bought
look a Honda accord today it probably handle better and
drive faster than any super car from nineteen. Seventy right, yeah probably find a gas.
It yeah the real, no way safer, yeah one more boring. Have you driven a Tesla, no struggle? I love to those stupid
Is electric cars zero to sixty way quicker than gas? You wouldn't even believe it. I mean it's kind of be right: yeah, it's just instant.
Instant power and that one has four wheel, drive the,
The Tesla model S, one hundred d yeah, it's got four four wheel drive
and so it's got an engine the front and engine in the rear, and it flies it's. So it violates physics that you get like a whiplash and that thing of roller coast to do you can't believe how fast it's going. It's stupid and they're making us
of stupider one they're, making a faster one that goes zero to sixty. In one point, nine seconds lowered yeah, it's a Tesla roadster. It looks dope too. It looks like a spaceship. I would love to have one.
Do you. I used to live in la where you at now. I move back to Hickory North Carolina
to him. I was out here eighteen years. I just couldn't do anymore no! Well, it was a couple things you know. My career has always been like a roller coaster that good years bad years and uh actually just admit I miss my family. Haven't you know
just a lot growing up. You know so in the market was really good. I had this condo in studio city about it for a certain amount, and then is
It gained value- and I thought well this if I'm going to do this now, is the time to pull the trigger, and I think I saw you at the Improv One now
I'm out of here, I'm bouncing yeah. I
Code, so much right, yeah. Well, that's the thing too, and the industries change, like you know,
I already have a manager in a agents not like. I need to be here for every little audition I'll, put myself on tape. I got eastbound and down on a tape. I got her
a tape. You know and then now
the second audition yeah you fly up for but, like you know, get your foot in the door that tape
I could do that now. They have changed so much. That's if you want to
and you do so much stand up on the road. There's really no reason to be here unless you just want to perform at the store all the time. That's right, yeah so, and I moved back to hickory and
going to get myself a nice Lake House on Lake Hickory yep.
Still want to do that. But then soon as I get home, you know Thanksgiving Dad has a stroke. So I see that happen that you were seeing someone else stroke. Now you there when an app. I was looking right at him and it was weird, but that's a funny guy, like
it, may be because we're going to eat Thanksgiving dinner late. It's like it was like a six pm thing. We were doing to get other people in the house and so he's complaining all day about not eaten like I'm hungry, really with an eight and eight I'm looking right at it may sit next to the fireplace and he just like he just like knows that smoke just head first run to the hardwood floor. It was like a like a stone as I that's making a joke. We haven't eaten you,
but it's it's making thing about like a little blood sugar or something- and I was kind of laughing in my brother's, like knew he hit really hard. His head hit that floor way too hard for that to be a joke. Then you walk over to him and arms curling up one eye's going like that, and it's like this is a stroke and we called nine hundred and eleven. They came pretty quick, but he suffered some serious brain damage right here and so he's paralyzed was left side now, but I was in a weird way happy that I was at home when this happened, because you know how we're still out here, and that should happen right. I did. Do you hate in life yeah, but the fact that I'm there and able to help mom out you know
going through all this thing whole thing because she's got glaucoma and she's got brittle bones. You know she can't physically lift him up and do stuff right and the fact that we were in the house and able to help it's crazy
that it was. I didn't, see the drooping of the face. I didn't see that happen. You know that's what people say when you see a stroke, you see like the drooping happens, yeah like that
fat chick in total recall. You know two weeks. Let's see we're at explodes, get ready for a surprise. I thought thought
that was what it was, but no he just
the floor. So have you
toward it all, since that or if you just small, just places I couldn't I didn't take on extra gigs at, but I didn't cancel the ones I had so the ones that I could drive to. Definitely as well. Let me go. I have a brother who's there as well so um, but I definitely didn't take on anything for you know since Thanksgiving that it wasn't already there
yeah it's but he's a skilled nursing facility now and they showed
the x ray. You know the mri of the brain damage that happened. Yada collided artery, he's got it now. He's keeps getting uti infections because
he has a catheter. Is it also it doesn't just fuck with your muscles. It's the organs on that side too. So his black,
It's got to re how to operate so he's got a catheter in owned and that that that's just opened you up for you TI affections
want and those I don't know if you know they're, like U Thiha infections, when you're older, like it really devastates, because you you hallucinate, so you see shit yeah and it's weird being in there, and you know he would like to make sure that bears not out there like a bear like he keeps hearing her think, there's a bear outside the window, so yeah that I was happening back home for that. But it bears where you live. No, no, not that not that skilled nursing facility
I mean it might be some points. Yeah no bears allowed to say, twins, don't trouble. He used to be able to just make a joke about work. What's dangerous? Yes, I know, but uh yeah hoping for the best.
Going to rehab occupational therapy physical therapy. Do they think that he'll be able to recover some function? On this left side? I think they always want to
it dangle a little bit of light of hope at the end of the talk. I'll chase is panicking, but you know some people recover quickly.
Some people, not at all some people. Three years later, can recover. You need a three years later I mean you know
so we're just still we're still doing. All of that John Singleton just died from a stroke.
Yeah and he was one five thousand one hundred and fifty one yeah. It could happen
Anybody teenage Luke Perry same thing. Fifty one stroke, that's right: yeah, yeah, crazy! The of structure had fuck man. I wonder if those folks smoke cigarettes
My dad definitely did yeah yeah. They say that cigarettes contribute pretty heavily, he
to smoke a lot when he was younger and then quit. You know when he was in his late forties yeah, but that was a lot you know back. Then we could smoke it twelve years old or something whole pack. I don't know if Singleton smoked, but I do know Luke Perry did yeah, and this woman that I talked to was a neurologist was telling me that that's ah significant factor
it raises your chance of stroke, pretty significant yeah. So I'm back in hickory, but I came. I'm I'm gonna cut my ideas to come out here. You know if the policies and keep doing it right, yeah and and it's a store house are less.
Scientists now was good. Seeing you ma'am you too man. That's that's on the roast battle. That's out of my comfort zone food. It's me this. I thought, maybe I I know you're nice guy, but unlike okay, because
shake hands. I've got the Hogarthian gladly hug too well Brian Moses. The host of is awesome. He's such a nice guy that when he does, that show
So it seems like it's. Okay.
Because he's so nice, like any some funny too, like him hosting it, and it seem like it's. Okay,
Jeff Ross being there yeah yeah sort of like a limit. My no kind of what the rules are and are you know, listen the
just an interesting cat right, like he's really created like roasting, is yeah. It's like it's come back he's covered up that whole yeah, it's all
call him call him now yeah, but it really is. I mean there was so little roasting going on before Jeff Ross, there was roasting was a thing of the past. Was old, Friars Club club deal yeah? It was like
call Jerry Lewis Dean on that kind of stuff. You know it's kind of amazing
to amazing yeah. They were great,
I like. Those guys are so mean to each other that they were all friends and they were laughing yeah at while it's happening. That's also the difference to its like those grows. There weren't that many of them- and they were friends and like legitimately friends, that's the thing,
yeah. They already were friends yeah now like who am I doing right and I'm
not slinging yep mean mean. I thought I could get to know you before. I can really bust your balls, otherwise I'm just being a dick, exactly
It is just being a dick, but it's really clever yeah. It is.
I enjoy every time a far yes me too, but I think it's a great show showcase for joke. Writing one hundred percent yeah
really good for the best ones. Although this the quickest right to the joke, you know the
Is this a guy last night and pulled out a laptop and was trying to do some voice created, like you know, Stephen Hawking Voice or something I'm like this is taken too long it it's not working like just the internet. They, the next guy, had like those looks
four words: Pat Pat PAM yeah, that's a skill I wish I had see. I
like I get up there, I'm a goofball till stories, I'm animated. I move around. I envy those guys who could go but a bang but boom. I wish I had that skill.
You could develop that skill, but but you've gotten better at over the years, but you have a style. You have your own John Reap style and people like your style. They they would be mad like a man, why you doing that? What's the bottom, but I think this guy, I like the guy, who tells a great story. Is he doing impression of a comedian yeah? What do you remember well
When you first started out, there was like a way you thought you had to be yeah. I only did you do anything
like cringe either that you look back on now and you go? What was I back that yeah?
where I used to come out like I used to dance a lot. I was the hickory dance machine.
Dance machine. I would come out dancing real
what kind of music whatever was it
You know something from jock jams volume. Two snap! I got the power. I got the power
come out dance and I made up stupid little. Do a shovel dance, a rake, dance and mark
dance and then I would stop and do comedy, and then I would get bored with myself and then I dance again in the middle
this is last featuring and then our dance again at the could dance machine. My favorite one, though this was uh
actually proud of this dance. It was
any guy, washing women's laundry in the eighteen dance, it's very specific,
a guy. What look at you? Oh turn it off
jobs in it, so he smells it well! That's before the
Look at those chins face how that baby face.
This was a week ago. I think
it's it's like you're going to Russia.
I think it does that
theater in right outside of Hickory place in Lenore, like seven hundred people, wow
yeah out of shape right there. Where did you first start doing stand up and Rolling
North Carolina, Charlie, guided nights, that's a great spot. It's one of the people love it! It's like one of those clubs on these because there's it is didn't somebody by that place. Yeah it.
Williams, Tommy Williams forever sold it to
red raider Bradley
they are sold it to the guys that own helium, so that you know Philadelphia in Portland that club chain. So now they own it. It's just called good nights. Now they took the Charlie off of it. So
still a great club. I don't know Charlie good. That was some cowboy. I think. Maybe they didn't like that, what's wrong with traveling and Charlie's great, but you played there before yeah bunch time. It's it's hard
not to do great in that club and it's also
kind of you know
ruin you in a weird way. If you start out of the club where everyone kills all the time, 'cause you're thinking. Ok, I got this well, it's been a week. I've nailed it
come on world. What do you got and then you go to some other little shitty, one nighter it's like now. Now you can't dance here,
interesting, like what do you think made it so good? Was that the dimensions of the room? Was it the crowd because of the town that sounds cool town, yeah towns? Great? It's a college, town yeah, it's also the capital. Yes, you get
mix of, like you know your politicians, your college professors, your students and right outside of its the
with the world, so it's a mix of everything and it's really close to campus too. So I don't know, I think it's
just that club was good at what they did. You know like you go
to one night or sell bar. Like I remember the first time I did a gig outside of a comedy club, it was just a bar- is uh-
pool Hall that a comedy night
when I went there on Wednesday and mean
so they got walk in with the Canadians. In there, like, oh yeah,
so we're here for the show the committee
select oh shit. That's tonight huh,
alright, I wanna go get that amplifier, so it's like there's among are you kidding me and then
get to tell people to stop playing pool. So you could tell your jokes there right away people hate, you might get people to stop playing pool and go back to cook nice. Oh
wow. That was your first venture. First, one
outside of a club was like a one Nighter Pool Hall, wow yeah, that's a rough first one nighter yeah yeah
Luckily I had to like ten minutes, but that ten minutes seem like an hour
good goodnight's also was a club that had been
around for so long it it's such a
history, because there's so many comics is unfairly came through everybody came through there, everybody. I know everybody came to everybody so, like the p.
That lived in that town there were used to good comedy. That's right. They got great comedy every week and
in the 80s was the heyday. You know what else is like that zanies in Nashville. That's my favorite comments, fucking great spot. Where is my favorite one, so fucking great, say nice card and places this shit. Yep I've been going there for years
is a lot of dead teacher in those walls problem
yeah. There is eight by 10s, there's eight by 10s of comics. Many of them are there's a guy name, Brian Kylie Minogue, Bryan College. This is a different one, another when you're thinking of the guy from Boston. This is a different one
same name, but he started in Nashville is big, big, big guy right by the way, like five six hundred pound,
you know, he's a polite guys and he had loved open for you and you know, do the road and all that stuff. I said sure you just show up at these gigs and you wanna go up I'll. Let you have I don't care, and so it got to be a thing. You know he did it. He did a gig for me and uh right outside my hometown and then that night he goes well. I'm just gonna drive back to Raleigh tonight which, like a three hour, no drive and he died on the way there. Some drunk driver hit him and he flipped his car and he didn't have a seat metal
because he didn't have the extender he couldn't physically put it on, and so I don't know how big you are if you're flip on that car you're going out the window, and so they killed him and his head shot, hangs right there above that door, and so that's why
of many people on that wall. There is no longer with us. A lot of comedians die yeah, but that that, when do you think that zanies was started. I want to say in the seven
he's probably there is, I think we started Chicago
yes, Zanies Chicago is a real that is north winds that that's the Chicago one right that looks like yeah yeah. It's not. This is yeah
yeah. That's a weird angry that the lens club that way
yeah, that that is not as great to me, because it's long and boxing and the further you get back to the bar
area, the more chance you have to lose them back. There yeah, but it's still only one hundred and fifty oh yeah, that's trying to shit, but
it's a national perfect! You get the flanks, it's it up it. It has a balcony right there in the top shout out to the door from send. Everybody just has
good time at zanies, it's a great club
for everyone, and then second favorite would be Denver.
I was bummed out when they locked Denver is fantastic, but I was
come down when they lost the punchline in Atlanta. That was another one man they lost that went to a parking issue. Is that what it was yeah
now when it was shaped like a barn perfect,
they had a small balcony, but they just packed people on top of each other
yeah, so you didn't have room to be. You know on your phone or talking it was like you're right on top.
People you to walk through the crowd to get to the to the
page. You hung about that one weird green room, the whole time yeah, but there's no bathroom that one weird green room, yeah elected spot and then
that sign on the back wall. That said, quit trying to be Hicks. Yeah
in the end, there's all sorts of writing on the wall, which is Weird Atlanta, has Rourke kind of hit
party
sh. My mother was an upstairs area too. We look down like is it was about and when the the dj was out there, whatever it's really have like that's what our office was, and they had like me is like the heckled. Let me dealings. Five people could set up there. Now I did. I did a good, practical joke that place one time this is the median and James Sibley Great Guy, very funny Southern did. We were sharing a condo somewhere. I think in Myrtle Beach and
as a joke. I thought it be funny when he's leaving to put a condom wrapper in his bag,
not telling
are you so so I did that right
and then this happened here no, but I could still he goes away. I don't see him for a year or two. Maybe three he's divorced now. Well, the first thing you did
this is Atlanta punchline. He walked up to it. Like you, mother fucker, you know what you did him come in divorce.
Like it was a long thing affected. I am so sorry stupid. It was this done already had it. I would have planned out. It was sitting right there. I just do it in there ha. Maybe he'll find a one as he's packing to go home. I didn't, I didn't think you felt the about right, so I felt really bad about it, because I'm a get you back and I'm like okay and that stupid green with
they have in that corner at the punchline right, where you're sitting in there there's no act
just to plan through more. If you just poke your head out, everybody can see you like who's in there what's going on around, so I'm sitting there,
He goes all right. Here's what I'm gonna do when you go on stage because he was opening for me. I'm gonna
but mustard all over the door knobs in here, ok and you're, going to be in such a hurry to get out of there and go back to your stupid, merch type
that you don't even remember that I told you there's mustard all over this or not and you're just gonna grab mustard on your head. It wasn't as good as me get to him with a condom. Obviously, but
He was right. Like I go on stage, he told you was going to do. He told me he was going to do it. I said cats out the bag, James not going to happen, and of course I grab it right away. I was like: ok. Are you still close with him? Well, not as close as I can be, but we're good we're fine. Did you have to talk to his wife? Now he's got new life. Now it's not going to be
one for once in, as was the first step, maybe so for the the first him that's right
you're. Welcome, you're, welcome. New life. Glass is half full down. Everybody yeah welcome new wife,
God's plan. That's right!
I was like God moment in a lot of ways. What if God was one of us he is it's me is not a song. Yes, it is who sang,
but I've got Jane Osborne. I think yeah. You know it's really funny. Am I right yeah Jones born pretty close,
You clearly not impressed with the speed of that as very quick, like a dj from the 90s jock jams yeah
Whatever happened to that lady, that was a good song yeah. She uh had her nose pierce, he had beautiful, curly hair just said: listen! This is not for may I'd rather be a hippie commune somewhere doing yoga every day, who I wonder what she may be. She is doing
probably, but she still out there still there still making it everyday I'm hustlin to to to. I also love that one when I go to the this, that's
my playlist of working out when I get on the treadmill, every damn hustling that one keeps me going any sort of got. It does Katt Williams.
Though, when I saw Katt Williams do his bit
like you could have any stupid job, and if you hear that song you do the best, you can add it. It was a great bit yeah, I'm like the
and that's where the first time I heard the song
yeah yeah, I'm hustling earlier on the treadmill. Katt Williams has some all time great bits
yeah, especially the earlier stuff, all that pimp chronicles, please, as a murderer
sent out murdering
so far, he was coming up like when he was starting to blow up his stuff was so good. It was so good.
Who so waited he talked excited to an Android, is really fun. Man, fun shit, great com
so there's Rick Ross on my playlist
and then I also do soundtrack from Flash Gordon Queen, you know you're the
try to get that that was on there too? That was but that round or whatever yeah rocky. Obviously, how does move
he's a kind of inspired me me when I was a kid and get that soundtrack. Then I get on that elliptical machine,
and now I'm doing the elliptical. You know for the universe like Flash, Gordon Latin Mother fuckers now
given the planner ever watch, the old Flash, Gordon from the 1950s
one thousand plus my son was that shite shite one in the 80s. Ah, I was on a plane not really recently, I guess more, like a couple of years ago,
and they had one of those video catalogs. You can just watch stuff yeah. I was an international flight yeah and it has
old tv shows and it had Flash Gordon I watched a bunch of episodes of flash
cord is wild. It was weird it's weird to watch it's weird to watch what people thought like space is going to be like in aliens. It's so strange. I mean I think Flash Gordon is probably from the 50s right. There was a comic book. Was it yes, so originally a comic book, so you can get
pull up video off. They need to remake that voters of the green room in the punch line. I was looking for that Hicks line we've showed that before, but I wish they would remake flash
and make a comedy that keep the sound track because it's queen, I thought he would write these huge queens. Huge right now. Keep the Zack same soundtrack, make Flash Gordon a comedy jack black kid does. Were you thinking of Flash score in the mood
yeah the movie? Does that I'm sorry a way way way way. There's a regional flush with making the merciless made about eleven am colitis. I'm bull like look at him. How would how weird is you look? Look at flash like
that's what they thought: people going to be wearing weird neck collars in the future belt buckles like such a strange look man it just
lightning bolt on your chest.
A good deal of it. So we could watch a video because it's so it's so weird to watch, because it looks like what
Is a fifty sixty four to fifty five
Ming, the merciless? So this is where he like it's so shitty
like the special effects were so this is not even the movie. This is
but I mean I'm saying the claim jumpers, Steve HOLLAND. As Flash Gordon Irene, Champlin Dale Harden look she's hot.
It is hot in a real way. Yeah was still faking. It back then
same care. I've not seen this though so this was a whole tv show. How many episodes do you think they made for having guess I bet they made,
fifty or something look at that she's got that shirt. She is hot.
That's what that was like a drill, yeah, no she's, holding a drill. Women back then all have flat butts unless they did gymnastics. That's right. Unless there's some freak of nature, accident huh and there
that is. Some sort of deals does do filler and that's a jack hammer is that you know what the Hell Jenny ever looks like that TIM Tam, that their guns, that's what it looks like. What is this thing?
This is a thing I do it's for massage, oh shit benefit hurt.
Probably do it right in front of a microphone like I did. It's great doesn't hurt
muscles for loosening up muscles. That's what they had
yeah, that's their weapons. Let's meet some punch in the face real fast, it's always weird see and what what people thought the future is going to be like once the futurity hits yeah, because if you think of the movie alien, I did
we figure that out. It was like two thousand and fifteen or something like that. They thought the first one was in
thousand with soul? Yeah yeah
view original yeah. I was twenty yeah. If teens yeah it was something along yeah. It is we're not like in well back to the future's classic. You know their future was well. Is it too? What was the first
teacher 'cause. It happened in nineteen eighty five and they went to in the second when they went to the future. But it's two thousand was Noah's Ark, two thousand and fifteen, or something right yeah, something like what befell is the billionaire now yeah 'cause. He took that stupid sports almanac in bed on the budget shit. I've watched that a couple of years ago, at a movie theater in Bozeman MT with my family. They had like a back to the future night weather
planet in the players old classic movie. It's fucking grade holds out. What's up it's so good, it's especially cool to see an old movie in a movie theater. I can know the
do those sometimes in certain movie theaters will have like those screen an old movie. This fucking went to the Hollywood bowl and watched back to the future
with and had orchestra playing live
the soundtrack you know
the movie as it's happening, and you kind of forget that that's shit's happening right now,
so we do that. Every year we go to see the nightmare before Christmas yeah they do that yeah yeah, it's great! You ever go to the cemetery watching
no forever. I did a show there once though he did yeah Duncan Trussell used to host a show that God love him. So what
outside, no
or inside there's like an inside place. We just stand up. It was really weird yeah. We did standard at that one at the concert there and shit yeah. They have that one gigantic white wall and it just project movies and everyone sits on the lawn. It's like five thousand people.
How weird is that I watch purple rain cemetery. Look at that. I watch scream. This super weird
screamed at the horror movie movie,
being a cemetery. That would be good, that's actually a great movie to date. Yes to this be a day you know I was there watching a
purple rain and Dave Chappelle was there they come out there,
the dj they do stuff. Before and after the movie, it would dresses up like characters from the film wow yeah, it's awesome
seem the rain. The movie lately great, that's great! No, it's yes! And no,
and the acting is so bad. I mean great sarcastically
the press is that so funny what he does this one when he first makes his full face on film right and this man, the movie it takes.
Minute there's this one same: where does Appolonia is walking off these mad and he just like whips around real fast and his hair comes, and does that? And then everybody in that in the cemetery was watching this for, like five thousand
people, every girls yeah look at it.
This guy was four foot one. Oh man,
There is eighty pounds kind of changed. Music yeah
I was a huge fan yeah.
Was this one? In if theory, a came out was the first time like I, French, kissed a girl and touched a booby was in this movie. Well,
It's also like there's a lot of white bump. He had turn this movie. Yeah was a lot.
Yeah didn't he hits her in the yeah and he
like. I want to be like my dad, but he actually hits her yeah and he says he says the F word as well as not wow yeah. That's right, I'm afraid to say anything.
How don't do now? You know about dead. Now you got something I wish I had. I was free deadnaming with dead. You can get
kicked off a twitter for life, bitch for life,
I'm barely even on Twitter, really yeah
I'm on there, but don't know Facebook seems to be where my people are really yeah. What people are those
rednecks from hickory. Is that more of a thing I had nothing wrong with my space I was ok with.
To AOL Man,
Gmail hangouts, like this you've got mail. That's perfect! As per
yes do there was one before to was Friendster
Friendster couple. Other ones, but
this, is my space den face
it's gonna, be the next thing. Tick talk
Is that a new seen that yet that's like music videos, yeah yeah the world would
I annoyed with the commercials for it. Eventually, people give up yeah what
the next thing will be, something in your brain. That would be a chip. Yes, and that's going to happen
cloud where everyone's just hanging out with each other? Yes,
some virtual world when you're in an avatar- and you get to be a perfect person out there, yep that's going to happen I'll, try it out
with the world we live in is very strange. Jon Reep is certainly is that I'm glad you around to provide comedic, entertainment, sir. Likewise my friend thank you,
gonna be next working. People come see. You oh good question next
I am going to Dayton. Ohio
uses in Toledo, Perrysburg Perrysburg also a funny bone,
and then it's all on John Raitt dot com. After that John and read dot com j over there, always good hang with you, man like. Why do they around tonight? You know yeah.
Yeah yeah
laugh factory on Friday, ok beautiful by everybody purse. That's fine!.
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Transcript generated on 2019-09-25.