Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian, actor and podcast host. His new special “Hey Big Boy” is now streaming only on Netflix.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Slash Rogan GO. There learn more protect yourself, my guests. It is one of my best friends. You might know him from the sober October podcast that we ve done together. You might know him from Bert Cast. You might know him from two bears one cave is New POG Cassidy's doing with mild one of my best best friends girl. They have applied a pike ass. They do. I think they do every week right and he has a new Netflix special. That is out right now. It's called hey big boy. It's fuckin hilarious. I love him to death. Please give it up for the great and powerful Bert Crusher experience there were large cheer. Sir, why the world is on fire. We might as well do
I've been clean, clean for seven days, no booze, no, nothing! Nothing good! You face, looks good I can certainly see in direct difference when I could drink. Do you feel trapped by your image? So your party image, I would never have said yes until this week, I've exe for the first time, in a very big way, like robs Ike, no road. I do a social media among them to a story to stop. I'm not trying to put I like when shut down a kind of shut down with America, and I was like Today, Manasseh hammocks sober for like fuckin two hours just relaxed It is nice to be home for a while. It is not. See you realize what a beating our lifestyle takes on your body, the travel and then, if your booze into the travelling, the booze, together, so why we should tell everybody what we learned today
revising my thinking about this virus because of Michael YO, Michael YO caught it yo is healthy. Fuck he's he's not, he's not any higher risk group like he's not he doesn't have any pre existing conditions he's in shape and he got it and he got pneumonia too, and he said it was a. Apple combination and he thought he was gonna die and he was in the hospital for over a week and four days ago said he thought it was gonna die. That's fucking tariff, bankers, Michael Yos, healthy he's, not some. Eighty year old man, I talk to my friend Doktor Peter TIA, he's emission and he gets together swam from out moment Maui? Yes, he swam all the islands he's a fucking straight up savage, so his take. I it is my question him. I said this crazy shit. What did you take on
how so many people experience very few symptoms, but others get wrecked and he said I still think most people below fifty five sail through it. I've had to patients get it shitty, cold and loss of a sense of smell and taste, which probably return soon, but still a small fraction of these folks get hurt. I know a dark taking care of a twenty eight year old fitness instructor on event a later in New York City today, why he said, maybe some genetic predisposition, we know blood types matters a is the worst. Oh, is that best based on Anti Body SAM. He said more positive, he said, but I dont think that X planes more than some of it may be shit like that. Being he said still too soon to tell He is a straight no nonsense, no bullshit, guy I listened to everything he says. So when guys like hammer concern, I get concerned and he's concerned he's got
this. I don't wear disease, nothing that he said it's weird. Did it seems that people who spend more time with this get worse is like it's not like. You, like, like doctors in hospitals with prolonged exposure, get really bad nurses in hospitals with prolonged exposure, seem to get really bad where some people, it and they don't get a bad. It's weird is very very strange disease according to doctors, and I think, we're still too and a figure. This out. You know it's just wow, it's it's. One of those things where everyone just sort of absorbing the information as it comes in and you gotta be open to adjusting our opinions, my opinions. I really was concerned with old people and I was concerned with sick people, how, after Michael YA, like ok, this is not that straightforward term. There might be some some other crazy factors here. They liked for some people, yeah like Idris Elba, who looks fantastic. You know fine, but me
the other people are gonna have a real hard time of it, like Michael YO, likelihood sickly guys, a big, robust guy, that's spooky one. I mean you, your podcast, with the austrian chick electric and little, let's get the fuck out fuck in settling the back. My tour bus- and I hear this my god? I've had a few cocktails. I had a joint. Let's go to bed cause this guy kind of our own mine here in a little bit about that wholly first thing, did I told Jamie first thing I did. I sat up in bed. Knows Google that mother Fucker was like you wrote a book didn't fuck that guy got by was ghost. I was so freak tackled in the fuckin. Biogas was crazy but asked her home. Is he predicted this shit literally, ass if it wishes to where I was gonna come from. He was a very inside of me, but TAT kind about way now rightful dude and it was a great pod gas, but man, it's I'll, tell you right now, Joe, you said you
said so guys that are over wait, the drink, a lot, the smoke of stock and even by the way, I thought you were besides, I don't know why Jerry I heard him talk, knew how do you want to say it, but I was like piecing together at all my good friends whose my one from takes care of himself: the worst? It's? U is me it's? U I quit cigars. We beautiful booze another drink now, but there still ok, man lay out. You stopped. This boss and got healthy, drink water. Only water for a month in value pull the shit together. Paramilitary health is, relatively speaking, compared the fuckin savagery. You do your physique to your body to do your form to your you're being by just downing booze consoling you're great, but most people would be a really fucked up if they were in your position that's, we were all we were marveling when you ran that man finally, to smother fucker
party so hard and he just random marathon, like it's crazy, you're, a very like Do you see. Mortier was right, where robust you're, a robust guy and reason why you're able to endure all those booze is because your robust, but if you didn't, do the booze man, it probably start because whatever the fuck is keeping you going. With all this booze. Imagine what can we do like pouring sugar water into a fuckin? Sixty eight charger creates clean their voyage, replace the heads that that Hammy will per you know like you, you you must you. You have to have great genes, does know either way I mean how will do no worries Ivan yea. Forty seven in relatively speaking, compare the fuckin savagery. You do boozing, I posed with you it's it's it's a rough go back! Now! It's like smoking, we would Joey ideas or would be real from Brazil to stop. You not
at least you don't draw with Hicks ingratiate, expect a tab. You don't smoke, we would be real, I didn't see other. Never. I see that and then Norman on to Europe with May mark Normandy and more Norman's Boozer yeah man, today's entity tapped out addicted ambien. He was, he is the funniest, while being I really love he's a real comic man, I cherish guys like him Andrew Schulz attorney but showed unjust, bore. No man up these young guys come up everything to me Christian Democrat. Coming up to do you are you, you know Crystal Stefano. I do not know him well and I know of him. He marries funny giggles, whereas fund are very funny guy there's a good crop, good crop of real comics, who honour this thing that we knows it's weird thing: we do. You know it's like what we as a very strange game of
saying funny Silly shed and then trying to make each other laugh and then but you're standing what we're doing don't say. Oh you really mean. Oh, you know you a joke about this. Like know, those guys will do that cuz. We know the game. The game is to be funny, that's the sister game be funny, and you sometimes you say ridiculous shit to be funny It works in terms of false part, and sometimes it blows up your face and sometimes it knocks it at the park, and so you gotta take those risks throwing every now and then it's the people that are this thing that understood and what we're doing and appreciate that those are the most fun people. Because you never have to think about them, getting upset you for saying something or them taking you literally are seriously or them not even taken you seriously, but calling you want to pretend that they're taking you seriously so that they can virtually signal which I've seen before, but I've never seen from anybody funny. It's never from anybody. Funny always from these half assed sort of half cooked versions of a comic go. It's never.
And I was telling you I'd. I got no conversation with worry about whether what the parameters of a joke or after the hook Brian Shit Yoke and He said something that may me likes fuckin stutter step. He was like you like it. You can see joke he arguing against is not a joke. Cancer is not a joke, it was a joke, but it was a joke say no new Atomic said that we think it's funny windows joke, and then I and then I, wrap my around remember one time I had a dance on fifth grade and they didn't stage right. And they were saying you know just see. No, the word the parents in the ice boys maiden the boys girls. Maybe it s a girls. We just want all the parents to know that we're cool and may Chauvelin school that you like a little preamble I say yes lungs or white hand. A man, some parents, guy so upset really really vases humor and they were you being seriously guys. I'm joking
Obviously not a professional comedian dancing with girls wanted as a boy and an that's what I didn't ask our. That is no! No, no! No! That's gonna more mad slogan, the special ass just times I spoke said the worst things to people parents. So weird because some of them are super cool enough. If you get lucky leg, I know, a really grew. A really nice group, a super cool parents of like my kids, friends and it's a pleasure years when we get together, it's fun like I enjoyed their company, kids enjoy each other's company and we have great times together it's so I feel so fortunate for the friends that I've acquired this way, you can find cool people that aren't comics. They do this reality. Now you can get lucky. The problem is people that take themselves two serious you or people that are under the iron fist of like office, politics, an office behaviour and business behaviour. Those people get they get consumed because there there every
Day and when you're there, you gotta bullshit every day you weren't at tie slippery bottoms your shoes, the whole thing's nonsense right, and in Europe you have to speak and behave certain way. Chemic, jokes, but anything and sometimes you're. Working with girls and you working with guys and everybody's flirting with each other. There's always crazy office politics of people trying to move up the ladder and why they're trying to move up the ladder they have to make sure they don't say anything. That's going to sabotage their career, just trying to be funny or just you know a little out of hand. The company Christmas party cocktails anyone ruining your career. These people are always, on the other always suppressed. So when there around someone. Who's not just cut loose talk. Now now you stand no jokes but think, but looking at you, though, that could have thought you're serious. Oh that's why it's dangerous might not be nebulous, switch gears well, who sometimes people if they knew you gonna Joe Grandma, something they'd be fine, but then you say so
my Daniel. I've only got as he says. I have to stand up and denounce racism. Now does those that's, the craziest part about abbot special have gone through a more my daughter, oldest origin, night tenth grade. My youngest is an eighth and those formative. The k through five, those that that's the thing Enron of being apparent cause. You meet a lot apparent that you don't know yeah and you say shit you find out shimmer one time we were a drop off and we found out. We have an email about some which will call it. And the mom Senate from her work account. There was a fuckin porn star like all out war and drop of miracle. Dad's. Look about your fuck me. Take a look at this. That's that's one thing: tough to switch gears from with a guy Girl! If your porn star, I don't want to go legit, it's a tougher, it's a tough road. Is it a man for whatever reason it's weird, it's like if you accidentally
did porn, but when you clearly like him, court action has heard her at all, not at all a did porn and everybody is like but there was no studio attached. It was really independent, she's, like she's like been clerks and porn, and then this idea that somehow another magic we got on, I would have been heard. You get this indigo she asian process like when you see like an old mainstream porn star, that's been like a bulb tons of movies that very rarely do they make a job and then just do regular move. Tracy lords is a bit of an example an exception, but she had some stuff. You did John Waters Movie state some stuff killer, She has poor women, their good. How dare you it wasn't it Zira TAT, really in there's our pussy, but you just like her sucking as deck and that's good enough. I don't think you should ask for too much more to launch. Did one
you got a letter was better. It's like her first set. You know, like you realize, like you get. The gate to strong. They never get closer. She's she's, not like you know. It's not a world class professional, wise persons, porno like our fucker with rubies, latterly alleged while just catch on a good day right because it is that's what this will use all fuckin floored. All those kids go and find my way, those people that would raw dog it with her bees and not tell you about this. Is me and my vacation in this other group chat and these others comics, like these kids just stupid. How can it be so irresponsible? This now and I just haven't all calves. They want to fuck that's a they don't care. They want to fuck end drunk in Mexico like get out of here that they want to fuck northern floored Florida on Spring Break bidding me there in or there and in others,
people in Texas. There was this thing about these Texas kids in there there were piled onto this. This area together like this at an a will, if some door, party area, but they're just stacked in their like sardines and people are wholly flock. I get yeah you, you didn't. You didn't raise your kids right what have you dead? Even if you did, if you there hung around with other kids, are fuck ups they're gonna fuck up. We all did that. I buy, was involved in a lot of really stupid shit because was around some kids that we're sketchy. When I was a kid, fashion. I lived in Jamaica, plain to make plain, was like this, this area that we lived there for about maybe less than two years already year and a half, and it was like on urban section of Boston that since been gentrified, apparently apparently nice. Now the backdoor schedules all kinds like everyone, irish, kids, italian, kids, black kids, puerto rican, kids, but
No one was getting good parenting. Everyone's parents had people were drawn to delete their chaos, people they there like. It was weird there, while people at the whole block was filled with while people the worm, bad people, there wasn't like a crime, infested dangerous neighbourhood, but whose sketchy and every one was a mess everyone on my block, my next door. Neighbor, we ve talked about this before they were a punk rock band called death in the shopping mall and days. To play downstairs in the basement, and so They have these sick layers of carpet set up in the basement, so they had carpet all over the or car below the ceiling. Many many many many many layers and these guys would fuck it go off in the lap of the people of Tibet Play Guitar, fuckin screamin and I was, I guess, Hausa left and now thirteen Youse thirteen years old, because it was a minute, was middle school right before went to high school? I was thirteen years old and
I was like fascinating, is just becoming a teenager Mixed, or these fuckin savages these savages they just below playing crazy. Fucking, loud music, and you didn't see punk rock people a lot back. Then I remember there's a kid at the bus stop on they'll Mayberry Programme haircut every morning, guardroom school. I will look at him, he's a man lock is Mamma and ever more. Why may I went from San Francisco to gains Will Florida, which was a college town you into gains, will ya housing gains. Will Florida when I was eleven to thirteen you and River Phoenix and TED Bundy I tried, but it so we lived there for little bit. Now. Is life just kind of college people and in the apartments we lived in a regular folks, It was nothing Craig. You didn't really see too much. Craziness involved is as far as crime or a sketchy folks. Everyone was pretty normal
differ races, different backgrounds, but you know just people apartment life, but down The Bosman. Those kids were, while did Breakin Fuckin warehouse, buildings, and they were in this everyone, knew how to steal a car do like thirteen. They they were all smoking. Everyone smoking. I got immediately, went into this crazy environment of well well. Well, well, I was like my dog Marshall and like a room, full like rabbit german shepherds, those like hey guys, can we talk of his out, I'm from apartment, complex used to like semi urban kid interesting transition is a young child. It was rough men whose rough most tenant move to neighborhood. Where was very aggressive, learn retention! same sort of situation. We will have that we lived in a real white trash neighbourhood, but my dad kind of sheltered me a little bit and then a move them would like their resolve. Boys like they're all like little, older than me, and I'm remember. I learn the word faggot real, quick. So first
that and how hold a nice communal ass, will serve to really important things to have environmental coming home and be unlike the Missouri faggot go get my darling my what areas yeah you can! You can certainly get ruined by bad kids and no one knows that more than dad's dad, see. You hang around what sketchy? Kids, a gay and looking around that Fuckin guy dad see, where that stuff goes costs sketchy boys commit murder. In I'm saying I just sketchy boys joined hang sketchy boys, rob cars and kill people drunk driving and set fire to warehouses. That's it sketchy boys do sketchy, boys can get you locked up, like de la sketchy shit when I was thirteen years old- and I remember thinking my wow these guys been doing this their whole life and there are thirteen largest stumbled. I just want to be someone's friend. My fact is that this, when I took up fishing
a really going to get the fuck away from these kids. I didn't you raised. I didn't have your brain. I kind of just picked up with them every time man I did not feel protected when I was young and its work. The reasons why I value community. Today, when I was young, I felt like really disconnected my parents split up and the mama moved him. I stepped out and he's a great guy, nevertheless tab and wouldn't, but we moved around them. So. I was never around kids and I knew for a long period of time and I never felt like. I was safe because I remember excite kids would always start fires. It's like boys view of the new neighbourhood boys always want start fights, especially of girls, think you're cute, you're cute boys want to fuck. You mean when I was thirteen like I've got to get the fuck away from these kids, and I found this late That was near me. I really got inefficient. Call that you make upon Jamaica, blatantly stock. It would travel.
And there was bass and they're all kinds of fish meal and fish there. All that I met this whole community of people fish there most like older folks. They would fish their end, but you learn about fishing are fished like all the time and all the time You know that speaks a lotta who you are because Is not who I am like was dull, then went back, remember a member totally anti tolerance, Ipod and Muddy Caymans, like the only guy like again, and we go on it on sales, doc, lad. Friends like that to those of a friendly, Victor Brow, ski never get. He was the most criminal revolver. Friends and he was sound, we'd we're thirteen. Do sell and we'd at thirteen or you just call em? He had the weed and who, just like I do that legged scenes shit like even Routine, wasn't meaner! I thought that was a nice guy below you just come mobile. What's up man having cool you guys
cool year like seeds and wish? I had a fucking car has never been a guy. That's been cool at a party like you're, better off you're, better off that catches doesn't he's a son is, does the no one should be confident Europe, a jelly bag made out of of fuckin human skin, covering these brutal bones and there's no roof over your head? you're in on a planet and there's no does no roof to the planet, so it is exposed to the universe. A shooting gallery of asteroids out there in the only thing that protects us is the thin layer of gas. Above our heads, you shouldn't be confident the commission's. Exactly how you are exactly are you? Are you just need better methods of coping than alcohol, but the way you are is a good way to be its. Not that confident thing is not good. It's good. If you have specific goals like if you wanna be a fighter, I have to be confident but then, like you know, Evans is, of course here for light, have which
been awesome. Guy he's a totally different human, that's crazy! I had a Mamma, my podcast and now that he's retired like one when he was a fighter, you have to kind of be me You have to kind of be specifically kind of Argos, your dog, who is a beat stewed without thinking rampage race. No wait. I know shot Evans. I know you. I was a rampage you're right, you're right, I'm so sorry, there's an I'm racist, I'm so sorry that it has had a great fight. That's why those two or connected because they were both coaches of the ultimate fighter in the peak of its popularity, is on the most heated exchanges ever is then stand like an inch away from each other and call me a bitch in Russia Are you a bitch? I remember that they would go back and forth to each other, like all my god he's gonna throw down on tv. It was very, very tense and wish I'd want to fight. But, unlike he kind of have to be confident to be that guy back, then you know to be a light. Have we champion Vigo knocked out chuckle
with one punch, you have to be that, but what you not do and anymore it's our shared, like this real spiritual guy, he's a vague in need. He does psychedelic sneeze, really intelligent, like real Rio's pleasure, to sit down and talk to him, because you realize you see the metamorphosis, that the evolution of maturity as a man is like a different person. Now he's abandon his old his own skin, his old skin. I should say and become a new person. Very different new person like a really peaceful, really friendly, really nice got it was. Was a great guy, but he's like more at ease. Now does what, when you and when you talk about me back and open of booze, and what now I don't always is Much like I've had a conversation with alley. One issue said I, you tore a lot and I say yeah I was in my head. I it's this week. Your thing about, like I gotta I to work like when the space, who came out that was shown on unearthing to not to any press.
You do know. Proudly I woke up to bodies day. Do you know I had that huge bodies, thing planned and yet organic illicit show. I had all these like all these marketing ideas and then it just because I hate the world stopping and it took a couple days of like depression of just like all my man. What do I do about the special I got to promote it? I got to get out there and then I think it was perspective. While I was walking to the garage one night- and I was just No thanks, I go. I should make a video to let him know my special on Netflix right. You know my head and then I went home and then there's a lot on this world and my special being washed is not the most important thing. Also. I dont think you have to do much. I mean I think, havin a few conversations like this. They are looking for How do I get down the internet? That's what they're really worried about the word about the infrastructure there there really worried about the power grid to really worried
internet authorities are the throttle internet just so many people are simultaneously streaming yet think of how many people are home right now and how many of you when you leave amount just watch Netflix me staggering. We want so what the special my girl, my daughter's last night, this demands now- they saw your bits. I do not know the bits performed it and I want to say anything, but the one about her have an appeal, and oh yeah. I some rough was out shoes. I got poor girl blue outer pussy dad the one they react to do that if they had me, but my dick on the shoulder there's a lot of them at their her. They were touching go, but we want. We just watched it like quickly look through it and then, and then was big cats, big cat or a
targeting what is holy, fuck Joe? What is it this is talk about full confidence. It's it's all Netflix might be. The most amazing. So I've ever seen its about people who own big hats, like tigers and but the whole thing imbalances about petting, Cubs, cub, padding you gotta Adam, whether real young and then they stay cool with you won't know. So these guys make a living off Cobb petting. So they bring the Cubs roundabouts com and then what happens is the Cubs grow up and then they end up with big fucking cats right and it is, I won't. I you about it, I'll, let you watch it and enjoy it was. Someone is like once you ve seen it there's no reason for me to tell you about it: is this autonomy. Then, even if you treat your really really well, you got him in a cage. Tat does not want to be in a fucking kid. No shit, they don't want to be an Atlantic code red someone ripped off Brenda's arm. It is someone Duff summons arm Joe. You gotta watch it. It is a hundred and eighty seven cats, honest Oklahoma property. Oh my hundred
the acres or sound like my arm around. It is my god I'm going to save it, for when you watch it and nobody can rip someone's arm off desolating I'd like to work seven days, my God was an alarm Novak arm Social. Now, she's a stump lost up all my work. Big, easy that is so crazy humanity if they just start eating part of you and you like, I, so that in a leg get this part of my foot, the one I found a job off Craigslist is. I never seen anything like this if you, a job like tat people going to sign up, no matter what it is about, a job to go on, castrate, wolves, he's gonna, be guys like you thing. I can do politically. We haven't even got into the fucking criticism that not even the crazy part when you get that, guys lifestyles this guy married what visualize gate a logo married one, dude brought in another dude a throttle? That's not the crazy one, the crazy ones
I live in South Carolina, that's gonna, fuckin, nine wives, who he grooms. This is what like really look everyone. My special big boys on networks. I thought can watch this self furs wow that strong praise. It is time your king, a minor, put it on my phone the girls, mainly girls, watched a big boy and we fuckin. It was funny we giggled. We talk through whatever that. The idea in credit I put like all the stuff is from my put this period party cake. I put the I put in a credit support like her test. My dad howling like an hour and then big cats comes on big king was called hydrogen tiger, king that it and with in fifteen seconds georgian Isler, like our era, was up where we found our show it's fucking good. Let's go into something about people and giant crazy animals, people who want to keep those animals as pets.
This is russian due to think who has a polar bear swims at the polar bear. Have you seen known swimming pool with a polar bear, he's like hanging out with the same Catalan with it s like what in the Are you doing? You don't identified that little bit, because I do. I definitely do as a dot ado with big dogs, but I think it's cool. You know to watch because it's not killing him. You know it's. Look at its hugging am kissing, am until it divides not. Well, I think if you keep bears, I think, you're a different animal, because if you keep bears really well fed, they don't do not just predators their omnivores right. So if you keep bears really well fed, they're, probably pretty chill- and I wonder if bears like people like, I think if you feed people only vegetables, I really believe, as they probably less aggressive
because I think your body probably doesn't think you need to be chasing things and killing things because you're not eating animal protein, so bodies like just relax and strolled just pick berries and grasses and stuff. You know, I think, if you do the same thing too, bear. Maybe just gave the bailiff apple pie eyes blueberries out of a total death row. He so big look I mean look, here's the problem is, I would love one yeah, don't you you're allowed to have one for real good reason because I believe that you fucking dogs, man, you ve, seen bad dogs and people of bad dogs, there's a lot of Ulysses, have dogs ban and allay yeah? Well, there's a lot of people that, like don't they dont, train their dogs. Well, and their dogs like really aggressive, and they they jump up on people
now imagine it was a bear. The did that just a responsibility, little length of its next so crazy. If such long necks but the just what it is it's it's. You know that the animal that it is it seems ridiculous Ishmael to have that in your backyard. That's a polar bear, the governor with that guy lives, whereas it is out of the Ohio Oklahoma, cities are highly alone guy who shot himself and let all the animals are they talking about that on the fucking thing, that's part of the reason that its illegal to have a fucking. Big, however, is that Guy Northern Ohio and raised. I would I, like those Savannah cats, kind, Anthony, gloomy ass, Oh yeah angles. Yes, services like those isn't that, with their com serve all cats yeah. Those era apparently never really tame than ever. Really tame are dogs, though welders, I think maybe John Jones, Think John Jones has CUP of him, but he was feeding their
like you see the John Jones or someone else who had a mood, I know John has some big cats. He took his gaze warmer. I will inform you that I know that our party row you dont, want peace. John Jones goes through the dark lines that I see as it can you pardon me. I just go party with John Jones Brown Daily that unit one episode. You call me up like acquit equipment show. Call me do this anymore, but yeah so that he was feeding chicken bones. Not sure if it was John or someone else, but it's crazy. The cats are making these crazy noise like wisely, given it whoever the guy was, was given the chicken bone while he's given this cat these bonds, The cat is getting really angry, like real scary, like you, might just jump on you invite you like primal shit there, not a regular cat it. Do you give a regular cat chicken bone, though be pumped?
but they're not gonna, go crazy. Cat noises thing was making what savings fine servile cat growling while eating one on the environment, to talk to us all time it everyday. Does I'm I've seen your cat catch rats? Oh, Usually I mean I put on his grim a bunch, but all cats rats bring him into the house and then let the rat go just exactly. What I want is got four and you to watch it caught. A rat is fucking fascinating. It is built in brought its like. You can't get that at that cat brain ever know built in Let's built him, the system yeah. That's that comes no matter what the cats life is like. If you could have a little bit I had a rag doll cat and chooses lovey little ball of fur. Just just flopped her back and Pat all the time and choose that's all
interested in detail, she saw bird and then it was locked in o locked and should make these noise. And here I have a bit about it in my act away- I think I saw you last special. I had the whole bit about vague and cats. Some lady was mean did mean. I went to a page and I looked up. Hashtag, vague in cattle are holy fuck this thing and then started going down this rabbit hole of of people with animals and cats, in particular how cancer the strangest animal that we keep his Patsy. I have two of em. I love TAT, her sweet, my dot, my eldest daughter has now middle daughters allergic. But when I'm around them, I love my love them, but you gotta do weird share with personal, yet castrate the males. He had a fix him all like My dog Marshall is affixed. He's fine, there's another role. He's not gonna get laid he's around me all the time. Then it does fuck with their energy and its irresponsible to have a dog's testicles and just have them.
Bunch, babies, unwanted babies, you write absolutely, but the idea, that's the only way and has to be that he said the dog s duty to be fixed or you your irresponsible is Nidal, going to fuck a lot make babies. Now you can be a responsible dog owner and the dog is not fix and dog is more energy, like police dogs and other affixed. It's for reasons reason cuz. I stop producing testosterone. There's a lot of problems with we. We got our dog Priscilla fixed. A simple mastiff and we found out later that when you get a dog fixed, a bomb to fix to young heads up to enable massive owners it can fuck with their joints. Yeah. This is not done graphical maturity to reach physical and charity. You your party, needs, though the hormones that it was born with them in this whole idea behind you know like being a young, healthy dog, and then, if you trim the
dogs balls, you're, changing with the dog as and you can do that my point was you can do that with dogs or you can not do that with dogs like you can have dogs that have the test with, but with cats you have to do it, if you have a male cat, they're all fix or they will pissed off All your Fuckin house, dude nasty male cat, there was a fair, ok that I raised and a, two corral him in the bathroom in order to trap him and bring him to the veterinary and fixing the wiles correct on him. He pissed on the wall he lifted up his tent pistol over the walls. I do what the fuck am I through a tower a bathroom or something over, I'm going to scoop them up, and I fought with this cat fought with them and stuff them into a laundry basket and took him to get fixed. We have to get them fixed
voting. A cat is Falcon when you show just how weak your he so little to he wasn't a big cat. At the time you wasn't even a year old in August was gettin a fixed, so I think you're gonna fix, like seven, eight nine months, sunlight them. She was ready to fuck me up man. It was hard. I said. Had a corral him get him into this fuckin launch basket bring of deduction. Craig was my that's an arrogant men encina before he passed resting. Please use Greg and then, when I was bringing them to he's in there. Are you guys going to be able to get him out? You want me to stay there like no, I think we're going to be able to handle it and then afterwards I came by to pick up candy. What's the fuck yeah, the feral cat Please say yes to getting some kid. When I was a kid you how to get a cat, Michaela and all the guests, sure ones, and then you fight a cat, a tree, yank the and can't do that cats in the tree, man, first of all, without a ladder
might fall the airline, even with a lot of you, my father, might jump on you bite you and you might freak out. Spaz like a cat, is freaked out for its life up and treat it does not get down here. They might, they might fuck em. I caught you sued once a hook on EU, though hook on, and they start fuckin trying to got you yeah, my cat. That was feral, he was. He was a trip. I would never have broke out again, but I had a lego crazy connection with them, as he was you now use or legal, a jet wild cat like when I first got em lock myself in a bedroom and hang out with them for a few days. Just just read books and add a little box and brought food in their speeches mean I'm hanging out together because he was really little, but when I would pat him you'll be fine, he would prefer a greeley loud aid be fine, but soon I put him down a hiss. Me and run away and trying to climb up the D. A currency went crazy, So I had a spare betterment is: has those living in the sea no and I just set the bedroom up a set it up for me and the cat, my car, I did
we'll get to know each other as a kind of shit. You things you doing, you're twenty seven. You don't have a girlfriend? You like, I was gonna. Fuckin live with this gap for awhile. Is me in this category? Hang out is read books for two days: locked in this bedroom with this Fuckin wild cat and he would calm down a little bit. Let me per let me pat him nude per not done. I'm gonna hit me a runaway. This went on for two fuckin days and then, finally, by the end of two days, he was preaching, but then it today, like this guy, just seems a pet me give me food, and I also I could always come up to him and pet him. I could always, but no one else could know what none of my friends no one can come over and put that cat just me I was the only one he had agreement with. It was super cool with other cats like when I brought her the cats and, like I kept a stay with him for two days, then I introduced him to my other cat's back spasm fluffed all cat, and then they got along instantly like I was like cats, I can trust cats and she's
Catalonia. That's my grandmother who was working gray, get trained plains of automobiles one. You can this other cat that it had from the time when I was like twenty five and that cat was caught in the city. She didn't like anybody, but may she just was a country cat always was a country tat. She chooses weird cat. Some cats are just weird You know, and then my other cat, the fluff ball catch, fucking love. Everybody everywhere that came over, should rub on your leg and pattern. Cheaper, everybody loved her. You could scoop her up and just start rubbing her belly and she would prefer I can anybody get anybody to pick her up, but two cats. There are their little thing, everyone at their own little personnel. Judea talked him by his cats. At one point, time on how many, as now it had eleven cats delighted to bed room apartment does like that is so insane and they all had personnel these men. They are some of em like he. He was the only one that could touch and other one.
You know. If there are real friendly with everybody catarrh their trip, you have to fix them. That was my point. Is a dogs you can have a dog that has balls and their bright, like my dark, partial he's, great aggressive at all. In these three he's he's seems like a fucking cooled unease the sweetest he's the sweetest, but You can't do that with cats to fix all of em they'll piss, all of your house, if you like, if you ever seen a male cat, there hasn't been fix. It lives like on a farm Ronald, they don't even look the same fear. These big heads, the big Pit Bullhead really. Yes, yes, alley cats that are litter, not fixed or barnyard cats, their famous for being like vicious vicious animals. Their different, they look different the balls, the thick every muscles yeah. They live thick heads guess, I'm losing female cats and kittens
think about it. Like my wife, my wife lived on her grandmother has a bar like big farm and there's always cats, urban think I'm only seen the females and the kitten yeah you you're protein females, kittens and fixed males see castrated males they they dare different, they don't pay everywhere and their more chill. Still, if you see a fuckin, barnyard cat with with his balls like there was a sketchy animals garden I don't think I have a the deck in the day when you'd be like our cats read my car like that. Was it any more of it back in Florida. You just leave the windows down cat sprayed my car one time and I was like fuck to smells like: was a spray everywhere, the spraying house. I would like to open up my Jim bag. My catapez to my chamber. We had dogs, a series of amendments. I was in the car and my girlfriend in college and we, the dog film, of Pissed, Oliver everything My little sisters in the back. This girl leads foreigners The brown statement about really was on about your shirt is it goes. I must
soda on my shirt. Am I lose sisters tat at the time? She is you. So over your shoulder, she was like her I'm a little evidence, I think, are don't piss on you Growth is not as not cutting reserves smell it. I guess she pressed on her fucking CERT, while dogs a piss in your bed, there Matthew Capsule Piss in your bed. There, man don't piss on, like the piercing, a pillar of that. I was never gamblers and also as a doll person, dog and reptiles of reptiles for a long time. Yet I am fascinated by animals. I love animals, but if your companions, it's it's heartbeat, dog. So if you could go through with all the dogs you ever owned right, yeah, reboot one genetically and get that exact same dog back today can do Marshall could marshals already here had a massive named Johnny Cash. I merely on Canada, is a swedish tolerant. I met you. His
start over. I loved him he's a sweetheart. He can just. It was a real sad watching him age, because that, at the end he couldn't walk, and I just have to pick him up and bring him in the house to eat and then I'll carry him outside again see if he had to go to the bathroom. But he was at a certain point. Is life really could only lie down. Tell or did he get, thirteen which is very, very, very or a master was very ill for a massive. But it was really sad, seen him seen him slip away was rough. You know it's it's there. It's such short amount of time. It's really is thirteen year sellers, nine right now and I made it feels like yesterday. We got her. We got a new puppy how to keep her young yeah as public on our really So much has gone down any other day in the publishers jumps on the better. We find this bitch just started liquor.
Based on our planet. Rude dog does our place, can work out for others, dogs, like our do jump jackdaw around, I d jocks a baby at a joke when the old set that are probably retired. Now that we're of what I do instead of rate weeks at least eight weeks man, The main humble he's been, it's probably gonna, be several months before easily could be longer. It could be, you know, maybe they find medication that, even though there's not a vaccine there, some hope for a few different kinds, medication, one of them is malaria drugs. I can't pronounced aim of top. My head and there's another one that shows promises well and they think that it might be possible that people could catch this than you'd give them the medication it would wipe it out
There is also there was some speculation about Tamiflu, but I don't think there's any conclusive evidence. It shows a term of flu helps it, but there is some these anti malaria medications. I think that they think has promised, but what concerns me is, it seems to be so different with different people. That's what's weird about this, makes it like scary right now, for everybody's the unknown, like we're in the unknown like now, we ve, never been in this situation before as a culture where we're locked down and the whole world scared of a disease, not not in our lifetimes mean not since, like the spanish flu and backed, and there wasn't as much transport Haitian. There wasn't as much distribution of information, so people programme as well. As we are now of all the various cases all around them all the time. Cacena we heard about cases in ITALY in Fucking, Austria,
yeah everywhere were hearing about his all over the planet. I think that was the case back door and spanish flu days. I think, was probably harder to understand what was happening right because it will probably only got the newspaper in the radio back that and everybody had a huddle around at a certain time and those are the asters of information, whatever they said. That was it, but now you get all sorts of conflicting information, even from doctors, man of red doctors that think it's nothing and then I've read doctors that were terrified is like wow. This is nuts, and then you know you look at. I don't and paying attention to what these senators dead there's some senators. They had a behind closed doors, meeting about the corona virus and China and what it could meet the United States and the various impacts, and they went out solar stock immediately, do and then the, but at the same time they were talking about how under control the government had it and how we are prepared and how it can be
fine and meanwhile they knew they knew so they are two faces. They are a public face there given to us try to keep us com, and then they had a private face which realise that the stock market was gonna, take a huge loss, and so they sold everything and made immense profits. Basin information that they found out for these closed door means about the krona virus, how they spoke, Does that legal? How are they supposed to handle, though out of like legally? What are they spoke with I've using? I don't know what constitutes insider trading. That work. Do you understand how that works? I give you any information that can allow you to make money online, that what one's trying to do like. If you like. What is the point of planes stock market? You know things and if you do not what you no more, because you know the guy was a president- tells us something about suddenly gonna do in units post trade, then, because of that, information, look all right. Ok, I'm sure, there's a logic to it. I'm a moron don't run by me, but if that's in an insider trading well, what is it what the senators do if they knew
that the coronavirus is going to wreck our economy. If they knew that it was coming down like a fucking storm of hail, that no one could stop if they knew, and then they bailed out and made amends profits. That seems so shady I'm so shading that they didn't advise. We look you're supposed to be a leader right if you're, in a position of an elected representative, you're supposed to be acting in the position of a leader and if your way to lead is tell people one thing, but act in a completely different. Directions. Tell people everything's going to be fine, but then start selling your stock at a profit, and you don't tell other people to do it because you're worried that, maybe that information is going to cause some ripple effect is going to destroy the economy even before the coronavirus hits just out of panic and fear in people going to act wrong, but you acted in a different way than the way you were talking. You acted like this shit was going to be real. You act like there's going to be a real problem and then the question is like how much of a problem did they think was going to be? Maybe
dump the stock that those can be a little problem without be ok more, but if they found I was gonna, be huge problem. Then it's not will. That seems weird to me too I don't know what should the rules be with? information in the stock market. The stock market is gross like it's the whole thing's gross like what we base our economy on this known madness, This is the way that the two thousand and eight slash two thousand and nine breakdown was two thousand and eight. Start my crash. It was based on literal numbers and an investment. This is No, no, I would actually say that one was more real than this one. This is a good start. Markets crashed the way that you're going like it's based on. I know that it's it's commercial businesses, their loans, gonna come and it's gonna be tough for them, but at some point you're like I wish you could just Purnell freeze and go hey. Let's come back and like two months, where we were
make sure most bad like that's by birth. Is them the ultimate real? Because if it's supposed to be about confidence and things rising and falling dislike the ultimate expression of that there's no confidence. You can't work. Of course you know Russia right if it doesn't crash here that its nonsense. That was the point because, there's times where meetings grooming of people buying like crazy manufacturing is up, everything up, everybody's happy can consume satisfactions up and people buying like crazy in there, so many industries that are happening in facility jobs and unemployment, the lowest it's ever been ever in the history of people and then all the sudden, it's not anymore, or course it's going to crash. So it's going to crash this is the craps. This is the big one. Is the big one of our lifetime, maybe the biggest one ever because if she could go on for a long ass time, this is scary to did you think of all those people?
Who are paycheck paycheck, you know with white and tables or teaching spin glasser whatever it is. I that's where my brain goes is like how come by there's gonna be wait if I can help people yeah. That does not mean that I that's all I do all day spend like do they hit me also like say, there's await a bible job emails. I send you a neighborhood. You could do that with certain restaurants. He could support restaurants. Mama fear, restaurants in Vegas. Guy tunnels is in Henderson and are these men Calabasas? We should go to Amway back in the day, but they're they're doing a lot of takeout and then they're also raising money for their employers, which is very nice. You know, and I think the store doing something like that- we're all going to donate for the weights you know, there's a wait. Staff is completely shut out of luck and they were doing you no good business down there until those folks, I'm sure they have bills like serious fucking bills, and it's just piling up and there's no business. You know I mean they win
from having a great place, we can go on and count on x amount of money per week to all sudden gone, and no one saw common. That's never happen ever. You can't blame them for not being prepared, but you know their part of a comedy family man, we gotta, we gotta take care of them, particularly at the store. We should set up some for the improv to end We should also you now just figure out a way to you now take find out who's hurting I've whose in trouble look especially in unity iconic that we now little people do Browed, but there's nobody without find them now There's a lot of comics in our community that, like there go unchecked, to you know, middles Middle Axion out at headliners their desire to have on his right particular first few years. Headliners with even Megan X amount per week in Europe hey your own flight knowledge as you gettin by but you're not kill in it, and then you, you probably have such an apartment costs random on water, or you know, I mean
New York City, those guys fucking apartments, York City are ridiculous. There, so expensive, so think of all Those comics in New York City, they relied on that system of gone clubbed, club and picking up the tab for people I know a lot of comedians in New York dislike nukes, probably the most condensed comedy club community in the country when you bring by far yeah how many clubs eating or in the city, the twelve year Total Mountjoy. Yes, dear colleague, Dangerfield myriads of vulnerable zones are growing. There is never going to show we didn't. Joey was in the middle, you can actually knew. Tat was my spot. When I lived in New York, middle amazing laggard comic can think in another comics level. As soon as you said that my two gloves, I thought of stand of need in Dangerfield, I'm counting those gonna carry. Those above danger feels as though the weirdest one.
Does that was the one where they film, those HBO specials with Rodney, Dangerfield, IA and It was always empty. It was always empty. There was never anybody there. Man except prom season, prom season, you'd, be doing stand up to like seventeen year old kids, and it was madness. It was madness. During your story. Billboards story about gettin heckled, a danger to build now. My favor I made, told us a number of times and I met him told on our biggest my favorite part of it. View memorabilia younger right little more, cleaner, low, Morleys happier eyes those evermore has opened up a plan that banning bills nowadays is high. Energy. Happy ACT is to a problem like prom crowd and buncher fuckin, bridge internal policy and is not get anything,
got in this guy. The backers anything ran on stage is a faggot, and I didn't have one pull out. I just went far common. That would you be prepared for the other day by think about, I think about. Am I number? One thing this whole thing is, none is made me think how much our waste shit I waste. So much Georgiana, wooed, fruit, fruit, Bananas, Badges doling out, none of them have been eaten, gets its waste and health man. When I heard you tell them Pakistan, so glad to know that you are talking to me because I heard it is. If you're talking to me, I told Brian Cowen, go you ever do apply, you think just talking to you and he got the fucking time. Never talking you Brian Cowen, Lever targeted by council called please I know is that it goes one time. Jovan said my name.
The one thing that we need a new era of always was a newbie say this and I ve always I kind of written you off about a goin like well. You know what ever you gotta get off, that blood pressure medicine near the second I heard China's Gower medication. I got one month above literally thought. What am I doing? What am I doing, impoverishment and want to just get unshapen, get healthy and and control. My weight are not dependent on a pill to come in then, if I don't have it I've a stroke, you can do it to bird is not sighed the realm possibility when you consider how well you're doing while your boots in his heart were probably- and you always like fire for sober October. The first year I was worried us like man on a high gonna. Do some people were actually to
male came in. He could die delicate when guys drink a lot and they stop drink. It's really bad. Apparently, that's what killed Amy. Why now stay apt? Everyone kept tell me that has killed anyone else. You know. Did you know that broke one thing can eat host upon cast an you'd, have a fucking thousand of them people until you shit that you have heard for so one of the things that people love tell you is about? You could die if you stop drinking, you can die. You told me that, and you said to me, you were like you give me a hug, and you know you don't have to do this man I was like I was flipped out. I was worried because I was like damn it That is how we kill Bert magically trying to get Bert Healthy, like it turns out to kill him Amy. Why now style did I love anyone else dog. She was this man. I will throw on an album. And listen like rehab
or some of her great sauce, a shudder authenticity is, I got off anticipate her voice is unmistakable like looseness to her voice, choose Wild per Borg, I love, work. Yeah York is great to man, Tunisia, a totally different way like I had a long pause against totally different. Higher sound, but yeah but authentic. And so sexy man like New York, was so hot and just doing her own thing like electronic music and this time, when it wasn't selling here, but it was like However, here ever hers, I saw it's all quiet by Bork last, oh, so why you did it amazing degeneracy be org fuck up that me out of my respect, their this person thought they could just get Reiner faced with a camera. Just cause, she's famous like wouldn't know pearl
that this is now agreed upon. You show up or persons just at the airport with her kid Yorkshire, their kid he hadn't you deal with that. I just I most of the time like. If someone wants to be interview and me when, at the airport or somewhere, where I'm not, you know, I'm not expecting it, it's just not smart sought. That's not! I do this ain't, the we have conversations should be your your thoughts, they're gonna, get viewed by millions of people shouldn't be something you say when you have your first cup of coffee maybe you're half on inedibles coming off the fly, picking out of your luggage and you didn't expect arrived DMZ and they like, when you think about the corona virus like stop eaten bats. You Fox meaning that no meaning that does not work, but you, you know you're there
Fucking Ella acts at seven thirty in the morning getting your bags. If that's that's the problem, it's it's! It's not smart and then was the weird thing that happened during the Roseanne Times and rosy and I was gonna, do the podcast for the first time for the second time rather, and she had that that crazy conscience recently removed from our share in the whole deal Do they were showing up at places where we weren't, with with cameras their share. But the comedy store with cameras trying to capture, because guess, if, like all you got me on camera, gotta talk to you, I guess what News is if you watch like local news, it's a bunch of p appointing cameras, stuff and then loosely why journalistic ethics to see like what they talk about, what they do and what they feed you over the next half hour and they want to be number one in the ratings, because you know like channels? Evans right now is kicking our ass. I just really feel like we gotta get unseen, quicker and issue
it becomes a sport ear. You invite you. This is not necessarily the information theirs. Personalities and jobs are at risk and that there is so many factors that are contributing. Unlike in moving what you list in two and see in a certain direction. It's not the news, it's a news programme, its their interpretation of what they think is the most important stuff to focus on over the next. X amount of minutes, because life is, fucking nuts. We have access to the whole world, you can you break the whole world Sixty minutes, editing show right. You can't show everything, there's millions of things that are fascinating, that are going on right now, positive and negative, so they about it out you know what are you gonna do calabash this woman out the hard way you care who should pay?
p in order that our great now, let's get back to murder and death and then fuck and feverish, I said to someone I said: do you think that this via carnivores a recovery, It is based on the news like sand working. Back then, is almost like no men. They began their asked handed them payment of them for so long by tromp. This where the making the money back and then you wonder like like I like Chris Cuomo, I like him, I actually I, like I watch it when I get upset when he got mad, that guy about the Fredo thing I got upset for Marco wish. I was there. I go to justice substitute, don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that it's not like the n word. I understand this guy's a dick in your letter. You know he can't be addict dick to you, but let's relax, it was relaxed it site, it's provoked, though any was trying to get out of it. Like you got, you know it's like it's like doing. Jiu Jitsu and you make terrible mistake and also need trap in someone's triangle. He's got a tab
I have now and you gotta live to find another day. He got caught, don't get your neck fuck SK, I hurt you and when he was trying to like see eager when a guy called them Fredo a first altogether. Gonna break account because such is shit like just just as a passer. By they did it again, a Lopez Hooters, one time like they, some guys Lopez, Putin to Georgia, that is a joy arranged. Georgia has said something: my god build a wall or somethin obscured and they videos but they want they want the viral, that's what they want. Something cauldron, Fredo rather videotaping. Rather looking for reactions are they give views that I can't move yeah, but freedom, Emmy giggle its so you just say, but to say that that's like the end, African Americans do nobody own Fredo stop? It was slacks he almost halo, simpler, more enjoyable as why didn't get more enjoyable. So ridiculous, if you watch God,
the two you wouldn't be able think of anything requests Cromwell when you want that scene. Knowing him, I think, I I call on Friday when he comes on the tv. I love raid love em. I say it like what with a free with a framework other is the governor of New York. They look strikingly alike, brothers about debated a very impressed with her was brothers. Responding to this, though, with the I understand that there is a certain point time where he wasn't shore with, really shut down. New York you know now. The way is responding to the stairway carries himself he's very he's very. Iraq is in no nonsense. Person like the way carries himself I like, and I don't know I don't know anything about politics glancing about what it does, but you can sort of at least gather
from the way someone handles a crisis like how they how they carry themselves. He gather whether not you can trust them. If shake it's crazy and he seems to carry himself very well. That's very important for just the morale of the nation and a weird way That's why I leader is very important because when someone's a real leader- and even though it is gonna, be people that hate them people, it appears that everything they do and that's always gonna, be the case with the leader of the free world right. But if they can somehow or another shift the way we feel about ourselves shift the way we feel about our. Can I give you a there's like pep speeches and a really good presidential address a really good one. Just gets into that why people get upset about people not being able to talk. Well, it's a big fucking deal now and to people why you, joking on Joe Biden, cause it's a big deal he's in there. And about why people get upset about people not being able to talk well, it's a big fucking deal now do people
Why you joking on Joe Biden, because it's a big deal he's in that the biggest fucking sweepstakes on earth, who to control all the Thermo Nuclear weapons and the entire economy in everything that gets done inside the United States of America. One guy ready go like whack, you gotta be able. If hawk really well want that job. This is part of that. Is inspiring people swore phase. Obama did better than any of them. You could say which one about Clayton he had some good speeches to think Obama was even better because he was just measured and intelligent and articulate and strong. There was something about. The way was talking that was Confidence inspiring whether or not it was right or not. Whether ninety made bad decisions on the anybody can do that fucking job. I don't think it's a death sentence. I think it is for all of them. I think they get in there and that's a tornado of fuck of things that they have to control things. You have to pay attention. Do things the responsible for honey,
There is a difference of fuckin pieces, emotion all over the world. All these pieces in motion, all these pieces and you're supposed to be the one guy that makes the decisions on all of those and chooses the right people for both pandemic, eggs and the economy have just one view. You even understand one, even then international relations on top of that holy FUCK, and then you got it. The North Korea now we're in China is denying lecture me things a juggle brow. It's me, Let's that's why reg underline the wonder of its where we're going back to a rag and like I did you see math. Mckenna his speech. Now, it's not as a good year, what its its maximum economy right, like we are we all bought into em in the mid nineties. This is our are our dream. Unc is easy. Of our dream hunks for man. He just sit airily sister, that taxes draw about red light. Green light is a yellow light right now,
when an adjustment I get out, I got I get like I sat up in bed knows I gotta go fuck and work out. Man like that this isn't we can do this. Well, I think, for the people like you and I who you're gonna be ok financially, it's not a scary is a different thing for the people were financially. It's gonna I am greatly there are severely real big decisions made to help those people, because this is not exaggerate- people not wanting to work. It's a situation of people not being able to work because it an invisible enemy that kills your loved ones like if there's ever a time or the United States has to come together. This is the time and I think I think we're capable we're doing that, and I think if we do the right thing and we come out on the other side, I think we're going to be stronger. Tsunamis wronger and not in the not too,
missing the losses and the people that are badly miss love once I'm not I'm not even try diminish that I'm just trying to save for the people that that will survive we're going to understand what it's like to go through a real adversity together for the first time in a long time as planet, not just as the United it's not as Germany, not as Japan. Not, as I rack know, the whole thing to gather cause it's everywhere and the whole thing together is a giant problem forever, but it is and for everybody that survives no matter how bad it gets or how good it gets weather at Morse and changes the weather doesn't the people that survived. We have to learn from this. We got to learn. We got to learn in every way and we to learn how an learning, I'm learning right now, my own personal south, like how I'm shifting? How have you the world like that everything has to go back to me being able do shows whenever I want to stand
whenever I want and travel wherever. I want to go and not worry about. Killer of everything has to go back to the example of I'm used to you know like just you know, history. You know how the world works, There's countless examples of civilizations and no longer exist. They got wiped out by playing or natural disasters. We are well aware of this, but yet none of it ever registers and we never think it applies us. We never think this is it This is the one is the one we are really pay attention a fucking. You see them taken all people off the beach now, but they said Santa Monica. Like we're closed, it beat you fuck faint occasion, people. They're, just son, tanning and hanging out of my girls one no for a hike yesterday. I went think all the morons that are out hiking. The thing is it: this required us to act fast, and I think the human race is giant
and what is so huge numbers so spectacular to get all of us to coordinate together. I think it's like an impossibly long, battleship. Think of a battleship, that's a good one, times bigger than a regular battleship, just a battleship. You think how fast, I think, turn its checks. Can it be so slow? I never thought about the right of cellular live speedboats. You can just take it if you're on a battleship them other fuckers hard turn, and I think the human race is like it's impossible to imagine battleship. It's like a battle. Ship hundred thousand times bigger than any other battleship, it's so big, it takes up like one tenth of the ocean. That's our biggest bout, Manette mother
there, s a turn. If I think of barely turn back, that's us and I think this thing required us to turn. We ran it's like an iceberg. There's a giant thing it head of us something hit us this change in. Virus it jumped to human beings and we have no immunity for it and that's what it's like. It's like like we are battleship does not turn quick enough for this and we didn't have the proper pepper Grecian for something like this, because we didn't see it even though we know as possible. We didn't see it happening us. We made some preparations, but I dont know: what did we ever figure out whether or not the government actually did stop. This pandemic office and close down this pandemic office is a true member. We're trying to look at the other day digging through that was
fun. Something was changed. I don't know about closing the thing. It's an interpretation sort of discussion that, like I don't know her ass. I wish I d like plot a fact and all sorts of websites like we got it, took too long to find that were a good answer that was worth sharing like I don't I am going with. I don't know what did you think that when you? What did you think when you read it like? What were they specifically saying? Definitely, there's different people in place and what I had one of the things I read along the path was that there was like a meeting about possible pandemics. What's up with a team of people in an office, those people are no longer there, though there might be people that replace them because of how many people have changed over in the ministration, so the people that are in those places now we're at the meeting. So they don't they never got. Those like notes basically do shoot another round of that, because the same stuff that up to nine eleven there like these with these raw warned like it it's it's
thing to see high. In hindsight inaction where you're like I have this this comedians burial airs comedian, who doesn't come any more. A woman named Andy Psmith in fucking, early February. She sent me a text that I figured she had postpartum depression. I was like oh she's lost her mind is too bad. She was really funny. She had a kid might be going through a divorce and it was hey. I've been translating these chinese documents. This fluids get lot worse than anyone thinks we need to stay home. You need to start spreading. The word you have a pod gas like, so you thought and I thought I was far longer was out how many weeks goes. I pulled up right now. She just texted me last night. She wrote this was February fifteenth, she wrote a poem classes it's me again. I've been googling translating the shit out of this virus
situation for weeks. Stop travelling, tell everyone to stop right now. I know I know I come off. I I can't fucking reading glasses here. Look at these Hereat boys you're trot so blind. I am well from the same criticism become the fuck off of really gonna stay until they wait until they tell us tell us to stay off the streets. That's where we are today will be too late right. Honestly, everyone just call sick Tuesday, or they gonna do suitor I'll come on over and see. If I'm lying, His genius really is by the most Americans testing, ever just lazy, paid refusal and probably our last ass, to legally shift power back to the people who forcibly be dragging us back in suvs, maybe you're already say in a safe hillside bunker. I hope so sorry the downer rant, I'm sending this all the more people I know for a view. Because all my dumb whore friends, have no grasp on strategy or intuition fuck,
stay home learned a net learn had an interface mascot. We could all stay home and jump the gun save ourselves, and then I wrote on fucking the day my special drop no on fucking March, a month later, I wrote oh shit, you are right and if you tell me about your medication, to get my bottom all stewed in and by the way not a discounter, she was a fucking tits, hilarious comedian. Why'd, you stop! Don't should a baby, just a major beef with like Schumann Nicky Glaser, like legit fuckin, chick resorting to rob you, but that fight hard work unless comic standing, called item on our current link so again burned to the ground at Americans, because she does that's who she is he's a fucking man he's a nice guy, he's a great guy he's.
Great guy amateur got onto it? Onscreen, oh, no, but she's wild she's man she's told him Jeffrey sunglasses like the Fuckin real Vulcan, while gin. She said that to me, I'm like download a month ago and I just I go puss partum, she's, crazy, poor girl. They're saying this. Senators is closed door, meaning that they had this disclosed or me. There was in January. This guy named respectable lawyer that a follow on Twitter, whose one who were sent to me. And he had a series of tweets about it, documenting it laying out, and you really, oh, my God, it's like did they really know or its again. It goes back to that thing like. What are you supposed to do like our you allowed to just start talking about that. This is coming like if you're a senator and you find out about something, what what are you responsibilities
Did they give you a mandate and what you're allowed to talk about or not allowed to talk about because they sit you down and have some crazy meeting with to tell you the sky is falling. What are you allowed to say Tell you when you're allowed to say how does it work black twitter? as that this was a distraction deserves a comet hitting us out. Jesus are bus drivers, I can use. I cannot. I wanna make livestock right before the fuckin big one hits how country where my my another thing about it might not have been Peter a tear that said that unwanted with this to him, but you just a guess, I'm wrong. That said that people that are around it more often seem to get, sector amendments amount of want to look right now, but does this take that away from him? But if that is the case, that's too, so it's so different than anything else. It's weird with what's weird to me, is how some people, apparently nothing happens, and other people just get wrecked like we're talking about the same thing. What is this thing? I had each one in one: did you really be
I just figured it out like couple days ago. It was this, just I've ever been in my fuckin life, and I was like and I may I market down as like. I thought I was gonna die was at over, did is Central one happens a lot. America was it mostly oversees had happened. I was talking to drew. My part has happened around two thousand nine in December of Ember December's when we had an outbreak in America in America, my cousin at it Doktor drew's, tell me about his experience and I was like that's so far crazy and I told him like sixty I've ever been and I recounted it. Then I go through my scream. For my my facebook photos- and I look that's December, two thousand nine and I go dude. I got it to an end when it was I'm tellin, you wanna say I've never felt like that when you don't get off your kind of breathing but you're, not getting us injure long and my wife didn't get it. My wife didn't get it MIKE. Didn't get it. My mom didn't get it. I, with all of them. In a memo Evan, I got an airplane I drank, and that is what fuck me up a drink.
Can I got in a match? Go, and I was I mean without a doubt. The sixth I've ever been does sickest. I mean gasping for breath could not be comfortable, throwing up chills. It was with the worst. Has to vaccinate Maman. I thought it was the eyeballs written after walking ammonia and then we're too. In about it and I was like December thousand nine! That's exactly what I fucking got it that one had a really high fatalists asian rate in it within forty two fifty year old, somewhat crazy, word fertilisation, the balance right, vitality, Where should the position, but I was thinking that you came say it that way: It's funny. How saying something wrong the wrong way to some mealy makes your fuckin moron. You could say
The most interesting and complicated shit ever within. You said in the milk, the fatalism version of it all, but what what the fuck fatal you fraud is like when you use the reuse of a saying wrong. I went I pitched I passed a movie and Hollywood and I use Salter the earth as if they were dirty people. These are the real source of your Athena, the people you want to stay away from. Oh, no, that's the it's in a funny, but that's This is how easy it is for us. We cannot wars were fought, oversaw the literary fought for war for wars for wars, the killers result. You ever salt saw, it was so important saw, was everything because sob allowed you to preserve food Take fish and meat noise everything's, you can cover, and salt in a salt prevents growth of bacteria, so you can keep things even at room temperature for longer covered in salt, and you can, if they're out, exposed to the air
percent yeah. So the salt of the earth was like a an incredibly valuable thing. Are we really use that wrong, but is there apparently the subway. Think of that, wasn't there long man, people haven't fuckin wars over saw this this whole situation is as force you to think much more globally and in France dangerously transcendentally tried one out but like down their of those two words, go together ever, but I like you, you would you like a good. Over bloated that I want my daughter's relaxing is a movie about the great depression yesterday and I was like that can a real knowledge as if it were, it seemed like shit. That will never happen us because it would never happen as economically as fucked up as the economy is. A good dips comes back because the
same amount. People need the same man. Oh shit right, so you gotta make stuff. Just comes back there that same amount of people willing to work, see my people healthy same amount of physical resources required to make that shit. Okay, let's figure it out how to make ash it again, and then people make the shit and they sell the shit and things keep moving is different. This is more more disturbing than anything we ve ever seen, because it's something that nobody suspected at all the the consequences of a global pandemic. Nobody ever thought: oh no the whole world would have to stay home and no one would ever work. No one thought never never them early on that. No one thought that no one noticed script about that, but then some people have to work rattling. Supermarket people in health care people and firemen and other people who have to work illegally. Piece of work just kind of what kind of put in a bag
and eight on it, but it's all going to keep getting out right. It's going to keep getting out if they get it, but if they get in there in contact with people all the time they're going to be the bridge between people and the disease, because not everybody can just stay home and it sounds like we have to go door to door with people with fucking hazmat suits on delivering food stay in your house to stay in the house for two weeks, like it's going to get to a point where, if it keeps coming back like do they keep instituting difference, different measures like it's just started right. An already were, we can't have public governs more than ten people can have a particular restaurant. You can do a stand up show can't go to the movies, so all the things are done. Gyms are closed. All these things are closed before and everybody just stays home with what? If that doesn't work, what do they keep ramping it up
you know what it's like five months later, they realize what we ve done is instead of lake, letting this disease below through what it's gonna blow through quickly. Now it's like slowly trickled endeavour, It's gonna effect still affects the same amount of people still infects the same model, people that mean they don't know whether or not that could possibly happen there, hoping that it wouldn't, but it could flare up again. That was that's another piece. It concerned the word it get flare up again, that's one of the things. It's crazy uncertainty, yes, exact! That's the number one thing, because we are Wanna pretend that all this shit makes sense, even though, where temporary life forms When I started even though, even though the stuff,
are the powers. The solar system itself has a finite life span, and things have changed so much, even though all those things exist. We still want to pretend that the world's going to be the way it is right now forever. I think this is not good for us in that people are going to die people going to get sick, but it might be the survivors of it might experience a shift in the understanding of what it is to be alive. What it is to be a person? What this life is? Is life has not it's not about fame or money or getting your point to be the one that gets accepted by everybody or you know, arguing with the latter. Still arguing with the right. It's not that it's life is people hanging out with each other and stay alive. That's what it is you interacted with people like, we were out putting a fence up her front yard, so people walk down the street, it's kind of cool.
The wave into each other people, are saying hi people are appreciated each other a little bit more bigger scared Gus. To me, the other day goes: Heaven I dont say: gunning is how you guys hold not done. Another good I'll bet, you guys really cool water. I like a fuckin his toothache in the middle of the night to the night right now to go to rite aid and there's open and I'm so grateful. You know you take it for granted, let's go right ahead: nest for driving they're gonna go the pilot open like wherein shut down upon them, urban, poor young lady sitting. There gloves on a mask, advise him Amazon, when I go is like never said this, I say thank you like thank you for being awake hell of a pandemic working here so that just a toothpick like a fuckin too thick people risking their health? This? I hope that we still feel this when when things start to clear up a I'm off to optimistic. I really do think we're gonna Fuckin, Flanders
Curve and things really go back to normal and everyone's gonna be safe book. I hope the p We are still that way. I hope it weighs with young kids. It weighs with me because I'm a little older and I feel like I'm- I'm allowed myself to change in a grateful way of like seeing things and noticing things Maybe I did notice because I lived in Florida live in different places. Open happens, we're kids, hope, kids, my kids put phones, down and one interact and want to. You know too. Did a month, my fuckin two months on my phone, I'm out on an only go right, a bike somethin. You know you well these levels that this can drop. This is one level One level is stay at home in on another level, this could drop as if the grid goes down. Now there's things that when Christ things that we rely on that we don't even we don't think twice about hitting that light switch and knowing that all that Giuseppe Power and all these lights and then my refrigerator is going to stay on and then you know,
can I keep being able to charge my Tesla every night. You assume all that, but there is no guarantee, is no guarantee that this fragile systems can stay in place, particularly if something bad since, like solar, like one solar flare, could wipe out our whole grid, one big one can wipe out minnow. I mean one asteroid impact one. You know one crazy super volcano eruption. Why? everything all of it, and then those things are real. They happen all the time there. There are a hundred percent real, one percent real and we ve documented history of them in the planet, earth Fuckin, thousands territories, acid. Why don't we just don't live that long man
We don't live that long as we forgot. We forgot that all this shit happened and we thought that, because you know from my my life from sixty seven to two thousand to those nothing, nothing like this, the things I just don't happen, but amazing, it's amazing. Many people have called me about guns, shadow bit guns in this new special and everyone's. I came Give me your gun guy, there's a good place to moved time due to Texas itself a ranch. Thank God. We trained with. What's his name, yeah Taran Tactical! How to use my gun. I feel very confident in my gun yeah it. It certainly helps to get some training in Epeat. That's a that's going to be a big issue with people shooting people accidentally with people that don't have good firearm safety and they haven't been instructed correctly and they just go out and shoot guns. I don't know what the rules are on today in terms of being able to buy a gun. When I first bought a gun, there was no rules,
you weren't, a criminal, you just get. It got Moses when I first came here. Ninety four are really the rules. Now, our it's a twelve day waiting period and you have taken tat tat S, a pretty easy mediator. You buy the gun and then they have to avoid Tain T deafening away. Don't I don't get me wrong back then, but what I'm saying is there was no instruction known other known drugs are gathered, that's what I mean like there is no need. It didn't have to show your proficiency or you didn't have to deflation, Hell yeah you. You know where the safety is, and you know Movie magazine, you didn't show anything. I didn't and he gave me some play bullets like their red is immeasurable. Those, you know, you're comfortable, your gun and and they didn't work. So I never figured out. I just really had a gun at any minute loaded. I was like a gun and on what to do with it and then turn taught me everything, and so that the owners. I know how to do anything with my gun by bought. Two guns did not a fucking out a bullet. Joking most vital, but it's true I put em,
bullet in the shotgun, and I want to go, but I didn't know how to get out. I was I a Nobody can go. How do we get a bullet out of a gun? His cowardly, Florida yea, I might call the cow. Had the gills, I will call Anthony gloomier first, find out another one attic went on more and more when I get crazy, we're having drinks like gentlemen over a short period time. What is it Our and thirty six months into the pockets perfect we halfway space to just perfect. I feel perfectly now no worries I do want to send you off the after the wagon in our man. I had him like the look we're epiphany about like I want to be with my kids right now. You know like hang throughout its when I'm hoping is good, can come out of this right for all our hopes and cheers. Thank you
It is my pleasure to hang on his wants. You are I love it. I love you may go whisky the bubble address. I just love the fact that this company started out during the pioneer days. Does the company from the seventeen hundreds that's ridiculous? Jesus did for the seventeen hundred zero one company as per gotta, be one of the oldest companies in the country. As what's all this comes out, It means that I think that shit was around like like right. When the United States is being formed, we are Levi's or not. I Levi's or the eighteen forties right. I don't know they were canvas right. These canvas tents. Well, I think yeah. I think the canvas that they had back then was probably made out of cannabis to grow hemp. That's why I was so adorable, that's what they use for clothes forever. Apparently, I've had a Hampshire, it was kind,
TAT. I showed you happy when I was wearing a sliding doors fighting as I like to see that transition and Joe or you smoke we'd, but dont loved you. It's you and you get into like an oxygen bob. How do you still have a hemp key from Cesaro? It's fucking crate amp is it's it's a weird fabric. It's really really durable, like I might have keys, never ripped ricotta, no man, the stitching might go eventually, but man, cotton keys. After a few years they give out. You know, I'm always do trying to kill you yanking on you and shit. They rub their armpits to get bleached a bunch of times to get a weaker the start ribbon tat, hath, mother fucker. That thing is arrive at all: it's an alien planet. I was an airline. It was the name of that. Do you had the best fuck
This is nine years ago you talked about a guided, can about work out and I held on my computer and urban and I'm Keith Weber is that is like a fuckin twenty Mrs little kid about cardio work out, almost incredible rate was like heart attack. Oh yeah yeah, it's an you could do with a thirty five pound kettlebells you hold under thirty five pound caliber withstand don't shit due to thirty five pounds on ability, throw that around a ten minutes in I'm ready to die. That's the one when looking for some time, I won't let weightlifting my thing, we're not like when I read I wanna put mass on, because I don't want my bones to follow. It's all I do is run all issues run its spend glass at it, but wanted to. I want to do. I want to put wait on like on a lift, wait, that's a good move! I like that
you're saying to you: dont want your bones to fall apart there. That's, you will need to take time. If there was a supplementary, you could take. That would actually increase your bone density. Do not popular our supper. We submit be so popular everybody when one takes him that actually increases your bone. Dances and makes it less vulnerable to breaking your leg. If you fall down, that's when the shit go sideways, when sixty five, you break a hippie breaker femur, that's a game! Changer broken bones, You want to maintain muscle mass and do the best way to do that by picking up heavy things. During this isolation period, though one things you can do, especially because we're assuming. This is only going to last like a month or two we're hoping one of the things you can do is you could do a lot of fucking calisthenics? You know you can do all kind of like you can do significant numbers of push ups and bodyweight squats and if you have a chin up bar just a chin up bar that you fit inside a door with perfect. Just can't one of those-
get one off Amazon gift to kindly screw into the wall, so can't fall off on you. You dont want to die, of how should we get silly? He tried to flips back and forth. You follow your face. Is no hospitals, tat things opened it asshole but if you just get a regular China bar just a chance a bar pushups sit ups, doing like like a bunch of Different body weight exercises like pistols, and you know like one one legged squats, indifferent yoga routines, you can get sure added jobs are another Herschel, a story that he actually got jacked from doing pushups instead of the stuff in between commercials of shows you would watch. No, yes do that. Brain that's my brain, I love. I love nothing more than a punished. Challenge like a punitive like. What we were doing that won the road. I was like because Marty marking Doktor Wahlberg Doctor or did their push us. I met a joke video going
push outlay. We're bullshit push dude. I did fuck him sixty of em, but why did they do the Marquis mark? The stud money Margie has up were better than you. Don't draws its even gets man. If we call Marty Mark. Definitely I got nothing. Respect for I got numbers. I love that gotta he's on the great act he's only campaign right now, like you but in my news feed about what about just, I don't know clear like a pr campaign, I don't know what he's I don't know. What he's doing? It's probably all about him. You know promoting a movie or something like that answer for hires enough airs very fuckin. Inspirational guy duty has fit. He is book Nice is one of the best Knight Fuckin ever ones. These ever he's got a lot of great movies. He lit legally legitimately has allowed great movies, but like as a human being like when you look at like his dedication to fit, ness bullshitting. You really is up at five o clock in the morning. Work Attica beast every real deal. He is like, I think, of you a pivot, in just on acting. I think you have price similar personalities.
Very like I've never nodded. I don't know real. Never. Madame He was at a. U have see once, but I dont commentary and some thousand celebrities it look over. Try to catch your eye, say hi. You know I got from Jeremy. Render us very excited, really Madame de Morgiana, big hug as I do, he seems like a really cool he's. Really cool is really cool. They are more and more robbers. Pitched push upload. Legit what kind of earlier lurk Hazel a legit stud. If you look at his work out mean that goes after you don't get built like that. I don't care what you're taking you dont get built like doubtless work. Art does no magic, peeled and all her work gate like whenever someone says all either on testosterone placement. This, that's wonderful, I'm sure that helps doubling else, but young bill. That in unless you workin out hot dog, draws up your bullshit now Morris morsels? I try set push up little bullshit total bullshit worries about the room
way to do a push up, I'm not being a stickler, but legitimately for your own body. Dr Oz, is actually doing it better and that he has his elbows closer to his body. Follow me here, like your hands in front of you, this, and this is a good motion free shoulders. The lot of you will think that this is not a good motion that this elbow out. It's a different thing, and maybe it might be better to do it the way mark Wahlberg is where you not go up all the way I'm so I got them confuse Doktor OZ, to us the Aberdeen arrive or doing it rats rise. I got them confused and he laughed him in its polos where's. The Robert was going away better. I'm sorry, I said it the wrong way. I really thought that was thought that in front of us for some reason as doctors is, why did I think that this is strong weed obviously the guy with the fuckin hadn't gloves his mouth was Marcie more so my lady. I am my push up so my instagram gloves on I looked at these programmes
Dr Oz. Those are real fucking pushups they're, not neither one of em we're doing represent do you know argument? You know that marking mark can hang the fuck out of here probably decided to go in for numbers and can't lose a doctor OZ by duly jet push up so doctor. I'm doing us bullshit push our strategy, here's the problem with, I love my Robert but another model Pike, but he's he's not he's not on the table, the way you would be without cameras yeah he's brain friendly. I wanted. I want these doing great these joint areas, but I want to do our part gas. Don't do it of a taxi off of air. I'm sure he's? Also man he really is. I was in Boston Medford in the ship, the aids. Smaller, like a thing in there. What is it? In order to set up you dig into the Wilbur. The Chevalier sits seats, morbid, it states in Medford, Medford Ionized, outlived their full were ok,
so I know you. I know you ve sat and talked about limiting ever none. I got obsessed and bill Fuckin sucks about this because shut. You obvious that there is also talk about them, but look I'm not Rob arguments out the uniting the light, not as different spots, and I was obsessed I want. I want Someone can online do this. I want to all the Boston comics. All of them, even like Dennis late, like all of them all with them on and put on a map tell me about that local area, because if you do that with Florida is very simple. Wrapped around Jim Brewer grew up like lived in, Brooks Ville. One point: if you of Florida, you know Brooks fill you know who moves to Brooks Bill right. Like I want. I don't so tell me fuck. Seventeen year old World war to vat, and it's gotten my kind of people like us. It is like borderline retiree. That's what I want for a neighbor. I want a crazy old do with guns, with a high
young. Why? I think that I wouldn't know it's eyebrow. I like you do in it, but I want to know all about Boston and in life Almost all my friends, I wanna know about their neighborhood, where they grew up and how that define them, because I you're Boston and I go was bill day and Gary Gorman really lived in Boston Boston. I lived in. Newton, which is a very nice community. Its outside abortion, which is a Newt number, falls where I lived, which is like the blue collar parapet, even the blue collar part. I went back there's a few years ago. Its idea, it's beautiful, really, oh yeah, so nice, I lived across the street from the Charles River right across the street and is being asked park at the time. Rivers back there, and I could hang around playing it when I was a kid Newton a very very almost it was suburban, but Also like elements of rural shit, there was a rivers in, and forests and stuff they were really close by
lot of woods. Rwanda treason woods where we're Matt Damon and benefit from Hell. No, I don't where there are from a more of an urban part. Me, like I said I lived in Jamaica, Plain first full year, which is like sketchy, but Newton wasn't sketchy at all. Newton was nice was a good place, grew up. It was pretty easy. Mynors bullshit between kids but there's always bore every week, fucking everywhere you go. You no bullshit between kids transfigure their way through life, but, like all familiar, is a pretty nice place to live, and also man, I think he's a fucking giant benefit grown up where gets cold winter. I really do I never. I think my kids get screwed getting. I think there. I think you get screwed if you live in a place where it doesn't get cold. Why? Because it builds care, after it also teaches you about whether in nature like this a reality of the consequences of going out once called you could die out. There is a consequence of driving on the road where you can't see where you go on the roads
exist anymore, because so much now yeah, that's real. That can happen or didn't happen to me until I was like twenty nine thirty efforts on average ruined So yeah there's a butt This is something to be said for a it is cool to be a grown up and see snow for the first time I'm sure it's I appreciate it more than I did. I snow. I get so excited. Ass knows why, till I was seven and then had it again when I was thirteen. So all years living. California, Florida obviously never saw. I saw no one time when I was in San Francisco. Member has likewise is interesting, sick one, my my strongest memories from
emphasis. It snowed entail over the snow Snowden Tampa in Like nineteen, seventy, eight and thirty nine. I remember it so fucking vividly it shuts shit down, but it also you get pays you back with character. You develop character. My favorite people almost to a person in terms of like their attitude about things, these costs rebel yeah the I've, almost every people who so many of them are so many of our core, whether people, so many of them is a few but I'm really close. Where that are Ella people, the boy raised here, and so I like them less Is that the numbers of people that are interesting that I knew I said there is less bumps on them There's no urban allay like yes,
represent a Monica power was outlined. The thirst for private outline. You do what was a hard day, a kind of rain and re angel. Remember North Ridge. I bet you do I was I was hang out on a top of had like when I lived in Newton. We lived on this. Really steep street and there was a part of like above my parents, bedroom or you could stand on the roof. So you could go out to the back. You climb up. Ladder extend the roof and me my friend, J Jus. It were now I was John Joint Jays brother James, my friend too John and I were on the roof and work is jobs day. My sister and we're watch the cars slide down this frozen street and slam into curbs every they went down. The street was fucked because they did now there was it was all black eyes. The whole street was black eyes and
we sat on the roof and there was not a goddamn we give due weight to how many black eyes, no not black, guys like I oh Christ, she writes I had a visual has three was a black public or black eyes. Those words why people carry a big hole. You got so much better it s. Almost like I winter weather black eyes. I probably we ve had a lot of wheat in part. Our goal probably learn my learned much better with Larry Water supplies of guys, like this land boycott, like is cars just bouncing off the curb, and so we call the cops, and we tell him hey this. All these cars, like two cars in a row have come down this hill and bouncing off the curves, and so the cops came down the hill and they fuck bounds to Europe's his
get dipshit and we're was familiar. Jonah Watson's bounce off these curves would like this is fucking idiot. Did you not listen? We called you man, I gotta see. Aren't you come up with a thought? You grow the video call dominoes in the same way, everybody else did the same thing happened like we know better. We know better we're gonna come I can show you home out to dry, the curves. What I really believe the growed up like that is good for you, I think spending my high school years in Massachusetts was really important. Really important needs shovel smell, like that was one of the ways we made money like you get pumped when it snowed out, because you could charge people
she would go to this Ladys House, and you know you knew she couldn't shovel. This fuckin long asked driveway making negotiation like what I'm looking at it, who try to figure out what cha cha cha. I'm trying to do my math mass, always terrible wildly symmetrically it and you're going down to zero valuable trade m thinks fourteen I'm trying to figure out how long is going to take to dig to feed a snow from forty feet of Dr Weir. Never write. Whenever my daughter's price point on that assembly were great, some people were really generous, even give tip in other pay, like maybe hundred dollars to do a whole long, ass, driveway but broadly, would take you all day now, when someone has one of these motherfuckers that goes up to their house and you gotta in it's like feed us now you go. Do you? Don't you realize how much work that is? Did I would come home racked just rack
dude I we were. We were at a year at seven thousand feet in Fuckin, Idaho, right, low on oxygen. We been written snowmobiles drinking beers all the way up to this year and I get there in the whole fuckin deck is covered. Nurses, fire pit, I'm so excited afford. Can I go I'm a shovel the deck and I was like him and you're a fucking heart attack, and I guess I don't know I'm good. I'm good I'm good. I've been so, at about shovelling snow? My whole life right. I've never done it sucks, The mouth with in I gave it to my body John sales. I go you gotta finnish man. I can't do this the kid man I got my poor level of loves. Did you know Many old Ladys hurt themselves trying to shovel their way other house every year in cold climates when they don't have someone like a support system like seiners, Monica resident and help them the lot of guys that I know that the EAST coast
I it live in the neighbourhood of their family or anywhere near their family, like it's almost like understood when its nose out you go over to your mother laws house any dig her out cause. She start that's right shit Marianna. After that. I think that it's dangerous in its Devlin added fucker of life, were you like you come to California. I thank God is no snow and that's how I was when I first moved there. My thank our there's no snow part of me is like man I learned from that snow. I learned a lot of shit dude. That taught me a lot about perseverance, because I used to deliver newspapers. So I drove every day I drove every fucking day every day, three hundred and sixty five days a year I was driving. Hunt for years, because it was the best way to not have a job. While you have a job, if the job was, I just had to go somewhere and get the newspapers and then follow through and throw them out the window. But while I'm doing that of my shoulder now tell me what to do, and it's not the worst pay in the world. It was pretty good pay, thrifty, nickel, isolated
thrifty. Nickel Intel has he shot? Sentencing of in the job is. I came at a pace, goods like four hundred bucks or reduce one Thursday. Will you woke up the crack of dawn? They filled my Jeddah front, seat, backseat and trunk with thrift in it those and I had to run run thrifty, nickel. That was, I was like a savings magazine, like I say, ok and as an movie singles had just come out and so has listened to the soundtrack. Singles out movie. It was mad. We now know met Matt, Matt who's. The good lookin met that we go up with that was in beautiful girls. Matt Oh man, I Helen Magda. I can't see him I see I saw face now, Dillon Mozilla, pony boy, I join with those who said that my head portable one more dude, and so it was came and chrome singles there. It is man a whole sound. Try your Sedgwick
you better Matt that was and I must say that that whole these preposterously handsome he's he's a good saw. The person striking. We bumped into each other and he doesn't Matt Dillon hello. I've got like that has a curse too handsome to buy cocoa, For most a cafe is past good. I don't know man maybe doesn't want people, no, not me and have no, not me at him ran ass. My friend told me about the way we had. I would welcome He was with the little guy Roma from from beautiful girls who goes as she goes, a guy's hamburger and he goes one may to earlier too late. The little in a little guy from those movies. He was so good, no beautiful girls, one the great fuck movies, ever
let him with Chris Coronel who's. Gonna Democrats Coronet was on his right think that she was famous she's, a summons daughter, Somethin, Bridget Fonda, Chris Cornell was one of the biggest bomber suicides was out from it was from Xanax right. I know what it was from. I don't know what was from a Mina. I think there's a bunch of different sunny Garcia was what the fuck me up. Big big surfer from allay or from Hawaii had a noble, o dude, by me out so bags of a bit, despite not How to serve at all a huge serving thin and so on? I will and sending our she was like the first do that version Brazil, hypocrites who Fletcher. I tattoos like you when you're like brother, use one of the parasite different cod then but yeah he key commit suicide and like Portland or somethin I see remembering that now I didn t know about him, but I think I remember reading it now. Bourdain was ours.
One for me, I wish I met him. Tat was one of the ones round like you know, you always think like ours, so smart. I wish I could talk to me so smart. You know. Sometimes people eating didn't get in a bad way, then get in a bad way being a pull out of their bad way. Sometimes you need to know. You know that their sir. The desert does a light at the end. You get it. I don't know what it was and was chemical or emotional animal when it was, but he had so much to offer this perspective was so unique. You such an interesting I like a genuine and just he could feel a chaos in em. There's a fun guided the scar like when you were when you first found them and because I think a lot of people found them on their honour their own, where there were like to this fuckin show.
No reservations is awesome. Did I would love to see him you and him drunk gather? Does he made me tap out We were carrying limit pheasant hunting in Montana Movement, camping aboard dangles hard in paints, and he went out and pay, and I felt I couldn't find weed. I thought I had weed, but I had a vape. I had a vape pen, so we bust out the vape pen and they're passed around the whiskey when we barbecued and he keeps going he just he really kept going. He would just keep going if you wanted to go. He wanted to go to the Netherlands. He wanted a past pasta to the next dimension, escape. You know he would go heart, loves you so interesting. I just really enjoyed is company. You know he just add on never, never knew anyone like him. The very, very different guy. And I always was like happy have liked me
because I was always a guy like that. Can work like I come off the wrong way. Sometimes people you now giving you do what you did some money journalists. I know I come off the wrong. I come off wholeheartedly the wrong way with intention. I peoples that guy's, a fucking idiot I was telling Jim Norton this morning. We show times. My special machine hell. I keep saying Helen, that's her name. She works at Showtime. She made it very, very wise tactical decision. She said. I think you sure this is a bad idea. Is it really is because I just I just think that people are going to change the channel man. Was she right? I had the lowest rated special out of all of them yours, a lower rate of special and then when I did when they story went viral. It was because my shirt was off. The people recognised it
I think our soon as I think it's the thing were like when big government puts an entity in front of you like one. We show time puts out for you and you have the remote. You go. I fucked our guy like thumbs down, but when you discovered on your own online and you go The sky was that the onus is on use, your more forgiving, listen. I think. That's the cool thing about I guess I'm like what we do. Is it like irony Bert. I remember discovering your pockets isler you and time is. I must be absolute. Three you Tom you do. A I was a baby. She saw Tommy on the screen and clicked it. Who's on twitter dwarf made maybe Myspace, but clicked it It was snowflakes and I came in and ILO was watching you and Tom on my laptop and I I sat with either my lap and I started watching it and from and it must have been like episode three for maybe before you start carnage, your own experience, I was fuckin hooked
and I was a rider die mother fucker like because I found it, but is it, but if you put pot cassock because I'm not sure, but perhaps I may Pakistan and Pakistan new biogas, it's it's like I gotta find when you find yourself, you fucking love it man and I found I found Bourdain sitting in my bed. No reserve she's came on did know what it was at all didn't know. Anything about our than members of food and I fuckin he did this monologue that I was like to that's what every guy hosting television wants to do is Milo brilliant ass, his really it was a grey rider. He wrote it was great writer as well as issues to super unique when he got in Digital us happy here so happy because I was I fuck is shared ourselves like, like I'm gonna, be closer friends with them now cause is energy yeah you're like his knock on well yeah. Was named John Dudley, Jellia Jamb Dudley is, I guess he is called for
It is like an arrow he's. GonNa Plata get what you need to know about those that other brother with him. It was like such an interesting shift because When I had known him before you smoking cigarettes, and then I met him. No, actually I met him after he had stopped smoking cigarettes. I knew of him when with smoking when he was on a television show, and then he had his daughter when has daughter, stop smoking, but I remember reading Dat he decided to take stands rather than clean. Does diet cuz, it was just so important him to eat well and he did wasn't exercising at the time and he was drinking a lot, but it's so important for him and for what he does and what he loves just to be able to eat. Well just eat the most delicious artistic creations master column, area assassins and so there what he decided to do and then, when you gotta, just who he didn't neither the high blood pressure, medication anymore or the widows.
I cholesterol bathroom letter. He didn't unity more. He was his whole body, like transform, he seemed so much more when he was already in any seemed so much more grounded and and and how yeah, but in some ways, but to me that in some ways not like in some ways, I was like watching him age very rapidly. Physically, look how he looked like gum, an idea- and I love this guy to death the towards the end of two images of public bow. He looks he looks like he's. It looks like you struggling like gum. His his body is aging a lot and it could be just because he,
traveling, so much drinking. So much could be many. Many many men travelling travelling with drinking is is very different, living at home drinking draft. It's all rough, it's all rough on the body, you know, and then you know, probably all the demons whose baffling that he succumb to in the end anyway. You know there's a that's there's something about that, but there was something about that fuckin. Look that he had when he was at that place. It was like me wanting to talk to him tat? He knew he had some shit to say what a fuckin brilliant. My oh, my wife was before us. Watch it on my wife, redder kitchen confidential does at his was at his Emma so this guy's fucking, amazing, Bert and nights bear with island? I watched it came on TB. He will also you met some fuckin fascinating people yeah. He was when the first ever do the progress to do member or is like gas famous people became an remember when bag limit. This is like a throwback ribeiro. Unlike our he was.
Mozilla is like Brian read them Remember that I talk about the. I guess I back. In the day we hear you had a landline that would ring for no reason at all citizens, Kip of Nepal, another war whose the fur Guess you got on the progress we are like shut the fuck up, Gram Hancock, right. We wouldn't grab Grand Hank Gram, Hancock and I believe it was granted Duncan and I and we sat down This is way way way way way early on and I had picked up one of grams books. I believe it's, I always say footprints of the gods, but it's really fingerprints of the gods and pretty sure- and book was about Anti civilizations, is all about how there's some there's a man.
Ass of amount of evidence that points to the possibility that earth experience some sort of a cat, a collision MC disaster somewhere in the neighbourhood of twelve thousand years ago, and that all the stuff that we see in these older civilizations, it's really complex and confusing. The reason why it happened in there just like this down period in this a period again afterwards. Is a giant percentage of the population was wiped out by an asteroid that they can prove hit and he's been proven more and more and more correct. Ass time went on and for me just as a fan of that subject, because, like just what we are experiencing now this pandemic and just with life in general, we we love to think that things a static and nothing static and there's nothing sadder than someone does recognise the not static anymore, rightly nothin, sadder than a woman is in our eighties, is to put onto which make up. You know or a guy that state aid is still doing push
so the frontline flaxen for the neighbors vague kimono, Miss Mary. This nothing sad about people, don't recognize that things are not static, and he is he's like the guy, who sounded a wake up call in my consciousness. Look view what year was that man September twenty fifth, two thousand and eleven while the is part has been going on ten years now. He has started to that in turn Duncan has not without one I thought he doesn't, and to December It looks exactly the funniest visas thing, but we, have these loses a flashlight? my left shoulder. I was just telling me about those days, but that was listen man. You could only have done that podcast. The way we did it. If you did it that way, but meaning that, like no one has to be watching no one cared. If
mean, and they then we were blasted out of our minds for the first like eighty or ninety episodes, maybe even more nor will I was so high during every episode member. We do that ok, no shots! I remember that big fucking volcano and it would sit right next unit. We just keep smoke in the entire times of you to sit next, the Red Ban on the right. It would just burn the whole time sometimes would be in the middle of conversation ability. We started the pod gas as food. I remember I remember that time so vividly it was like it was like a shift in the fucking universes of like I'm never going to arouse. I was it is, but one of my favorite stories the way I met you is the last where you show me Joe. I went up to your house you at the door, Eddie and you're like hey man ago, have an event. I get to see the debate. Can take your dog table. I need to get high and then I'm ready to do this in your like caught off guard you like. Ok, you took me back on that I'm a gigantic ass to me now deprivation tank. We Plato
Nepal went out to that back where the swing set in the chickens and had been smoked. Joint Redman showed up, Chase we're very lucky. He said: hey man, you gotta tell them is usually every time you gonna stage, if you hadn't done that, I don't know what the fuck are you doing. If you you know, where's what happened at first night right. So I tell the machine story to your podcast ego, so the best stories as one does I told you, ladies and gentlemen, you days ago. No ghost Autonoe stage, hey everybody in Utah, tat. He is from now on known as the machine Yeldo machine everyone to be shows until you tell make him tell him I'll stage, so I gotTa Columbus next week. I go do first showed Thursday may, like maybe hundreds people not not sold out, and they start Tat. The machine go ahead guys! It's not! A stay story is due in the front row. Death squad rider die desk, Quad covered headed Topaz Hebert. We understand that can be funny, but you gotta tell if you know ones to be good.
Go ahead then come on guys, rubber and ever started cheering you can do about it. You can do it through areas. I told it make at the bar there like you, we had to figure out cobblestones both from that Mean Tom do in our weight loss challenge right the first time either we learned and that machine story went viral that week that we that machine learning viral week you guys did began the challenge or finished child away and when he Shea leered, really the machine story went viral that fuckin weak. I say they go, they go, you know I am always end the luckiest do in the world. I think I think I'll work car bomb very, very, very lucky. Lucky that anyone in the world right just I stand by luck but man, the luckiest I've ever been as is making friends the guy member you tell me.
Are you coming out insane? I was, I didn't want make friends he came out of the shared. The ice has ruined Esquire chronicles came out a shot and a beer. You say goodbye ago, thanks You, like you, know raw trying to be friendly and acknowledge. I gotta like no like, like you just can't let us and I was like no understanding acknowledge that means like when we call you cause back and we and you like normal thing. There's you go me, Joey, ARI Tamir I'll try to be your friend when we have to tell you that I want. I don't want to throw anybody under the bus. So, as I explain this, I'm going to be very careful. The reason why we're saying that cuz we know you had been friends with a tyrant cells will burn you, we are real friends.
Thank you, I'm not trying to tell you what to do or fucking scream at you or belittle you. We actually like you we're going to bust your balls, but we bust everyone, bus everyone's balls, that's half the fun. The boy evaluate like beaten kid worksheets is Christ. We get a light. This crisis, I you gotta, call one saturday we do and I go on the treadmill and you go now commodity. I south and I said, I'm good and I hung up bright and then Tommy call me back in time to go. See him and you got a letter Your friends fucking comedy I've just come the fucking eyes House an hour, and then I heard you wanna get over here and I've been going over the results we have. The lion and Blair? I knew it, but you know that top. It isn't this fucking weird business like half the fund is finding a group of people. They can enjoy it with its half the fund all the fun. May my opinion used to tell me like about I'll. Try bloom with Joey and Tom, and an aryan machine Elizabeth
just the game through our travel with a group of guys now and it's so much fun yet to get like we ve been nor push up. Towns is not yet wasting go fuck it. Let's go tend to dance Josh, the Tommy's guy that he has opened a louder. Josh potter is fucking whole Larry, hunger really funny Mahal Larry he opened for Tommy. I happen to be in Vegas, maybe like the last get out of the year I was in, it is for the? U have c and just coincidentally Tommy was performing at the Mirage seem to hang out with them. We all went out. We had stakes, we fuck and had a great time on Friday night, and then we went to work to see his show CS shoulders. A first time I ever saw Josh murdered is also really funding from Buffalo. We too, as indeed run into every now and then and men. Thomas arms and Lydia. I gotta say Tom special price dream in right now, if you're watching this extreme The scoreboard hog he'll, be guess. I'm
sure that's really Morrow tomorrow, Tommy's on tomorrow and which gives real good for the goose given the gander. We gotta progress to various cape chickens. His where bear As one cave say, it's of people can understand this augurs well. You don't have to shove it in old. What is it about saying things fast? Ok, ok, ok, debasement gave dude. I get I get my brain, or rather I augur I'll get verbiage in my head. Like by soldier regained. Although MAC leafless yeah, do you name wrapped double triple jasper S. His his wrapping confuses the fuck. Me I gotta, do you understand how someone's lips can now? Did you hear Eminem when he did that Eminem challenge you saw Jamie, I'm sure could be a new about children, but MAC lethal is probably the fastest.
I know this eminent challenge. I wish you play it why I heard some Eminem shit recently that was really fast to really really impasse really fast to, but I think MAC levels on the level of how to put the two of em and fast. Above all my money on My money on that level, far more action. The sciences, sixteen ninety nine words in sixteen seconds does ninety nine words and sixteen seconds when you are younger. Did you ever think like there was a celebrity that would love your comedy but when you are younger and you're like a man's word, one of the weirdest things ever was looking in the audience in famous people to forever to ease
who, whose number Amans Jesus it's fun, guys like me on twitter areas. I only wish I could be the considerably area that brought you to together time using their economies and now you're gonna love economy shows his son, I think, La Mon and his son brought his whole family on New Year's eve, the improve one when we can go on one year. Rather it was weird we're, like tease, cried genes him in the fucking on it. When I was a kid I had loved kiss, they were awesome when I was a kid cod. Damn man, like my favorite bat, the weird bow these people would mark you if you, if you loved them, I was obsessed, remember the movie. They then, where they are nobody is the environment, a car with abort. Yes, ever the row, the power went out in the middle and me watching. I cried.
We'd. How reexamined levels of delay. That pervades house almost been seven and I was only does the greatest movie ever my parents came in. I go we're not done we're not done. I didn't really cry, but I might as well as we do em it's fucking powers. My dad My dad, who would wake me up anyway for the seven eleven commercials where their eyes, lobbies and a crank and I'll be go, shouted shouted, shouted out loud and hop up regularly school, first great old, every kid that was into kiss identify with a particular member like my friend Javier, was really in a Peter Chris. Oh my god, I was hard core and Peter dress there met Peter creates. It was certain. Do that thought. Thereupon, Stanley, Sir induce that, like I was a gene, Timmins Van. I wasn't it
when Peter prisoners really I've, always really solo album night school. Everything that I would be spiritual enough to be tuned in aid freely is eight feel is a space. Man right, he was a do, is mellow with the guitar, the crazy guitar. He had a really good. So our member states, the Solo Adams, their faces a year ban any or groove love. That's on duty. I some amazing. I vote likes the branding of kiss meaning like you met them in the suits them in the suits you addressed to kill. That was a fucking. Do I trust I only that I hate June. Seventh, like I want a love for barriers at its heart. Remember the story, but I saw one day someone sent to me. One of my friend said to me us talking about you hating Jean Sims. Am I gonna conference about that? A bad interaction with them There it is true that sells such a bad ass in clogs he's. Claude there there are different kinds of people back then cod, I feel like
there's no way. We would ever be able to understand what life was like being a bunch of due to a world famous. Women make up marked openly marked by so many members. The music community, whether its radio stations they wouldn't put if they thought they were a joke, and you are a fool if you like their music and then they take their make up off for a little member, that kiss unmasked member, that a one, then nobody was anywhere where guys back pack houses at USC with Jean Simmons looks like girls like art pass, but they wore everybody out. They wore everybody out. They stayed in the game I mean they replace two members a freely and Peter Christa. Rotating than now, and eventually they replaced with new people to play the same characters. The new dude is the cat dude in the new dude, his space dude and for a while they try to do a different like that added a fox one. Guy was Fox
and here you know, member, that the air when Peter Chris was gone, they put in some new do instead of a cat, he was like a fox. It is a real problem and that the hard core kiss fans like this is fucking bullshit. You know the a kiss fan Kevin James concerns being Kevin. James two nights in a row went to see kiss in l a I think I think was at forum during their comeback. Tour cause thought they were never gonna come back again. So me Kevin James and Manner what year that was, but it was in the nineties whose again asked the Fox Eric Car is. Car, forgetting about nice guy, great musician, don't me wrong new character's care.
James and I could not be more different. The eyes it he's a great eyes of great I mean it will carry. You would love. I know I know Kevin, but it makes you really know MIKE. I know I'm tight with them in I hooked up with my manager. Wee wee wee the same manager we have from the very beginning, I've known Kevin for FAC, twenty nine. Years when bulgaria- and I were tight, Gary Valentine S Day- would guarantee a love he's a great guy. Gary Valentine, let my favorite stories ever one time or the Improvin. He goes briski shot waggery any crabs. He grabs too, any hands me one, and then he grabs is any takes us back when the improper candles they a shot of a candle wax olive resumption of hydrogen online now appear about. Is dumb. Fuck him funniest human being managing a shot, a candle, it does spiced on this because I think that our I can be good. The idea is that interesting, what did they one of their pit?
the real name is not there. Don't be given up their real name, you fuck fuck, I as Easy Christ, Bert crisis caused and travel evolve, get different names, whether their brothers and sisters. Kevin's, is an interesting cat. He really is very interesting. Guy requires at one time in this house. When the hungarian and a couple of guys now's gettin wasted, and he was just sitting there looking at me, and he has I guys, but he party him for, enjoyment because what they got all your success and he's like her. I said Kevin only doing us are different and I wish you good luck. Was, he was so you I remember he drove a good. I was a Jeep Cherokee on its third season, Ghana Guines. He had like he was very conservative. Never yeah! Well, he's he's a guy who plays the cards close his chest. No, such as,
we duty and it has been a Guatemala he's. The only reason why I have ever been in a movies lab Edison, terrible movies it nobody saw before, but does that movies did once I didn't need to do anything any anywhere anymore and in terms of acting was his movies. I did two of his I did a zoo keeper and I did here comes the boom and the only reason why did him, because I love cabin? If he's such a great it was fun to is so ridiculous. I had to learn how to dance, so I can took months and months of my time was really interest, I saw that dance can actually do since overtake us. My Sebastian out some of the sum. In all fairness, some of what you see is not actually make some of it is me, but there was is due to the professional dancer who is like a state Then who was amazing? He was amazing so that this for its clearly me. I definitely did a lot of stuff all the stuff of Mean Leslie Bib, where the holder and allow us to have. That was me a hundred per cent
but this through so much better than make way. Where were you couldn't tell they stuck here and in our view is like built like me and who would it was perfect Neuchatel because because he was really good like when you see how hard it is to actually dance. You go my god like when you see a problem, real professional, it's one of the most dismiss things of people. Oh dismiss it. I got what a frivolous pursuit Vanni have dance, but if you can really dance, it's so impressive when someone is, full control of their body. That's Tom said to make some a better answer than dude I did a thug come. Let me tell you that Cocksucker auditors, my daughter's my daughter's, sometimes video, and they looked at their there like way Tom can dance. I go even so that when you saw my video and they go, you paid someone teach at a dance. I go sort of
fuck you you haven't you been long ago. It looks like it looks like you. I try to do that. Irish stands for the release of the special, but you got appreciate the fact that time, Stephen Seagal carriage deliver like if you are this. Video and aerial made fun of it. We want sit, we giggled, but the fact that it inspired Tom to drop eighty thousand, what every spent eighty two thousand and ten thousand it the fact that he made a reply. Video We honoured that you did that Ngos, because I love you. Like when he put out meant so much to pigs. I go. I thought I put out my dad's video and aerial made fun, Why did we giggled, but the fact that it is fired Tom to drop. Eighty thousand, we spent eight hundred thousand aren't. I felt that it was found that he made a reply that he made me so fucking excited when I went so DP went so body, he ordered years. Ojo was right.
You realize what he did he made me. He taught us egos. I sat and- facial regardless of what we talked about. Oh he fucked you har brow, Bro you have no times stamp and they're going this zone get entirely. I swear to God when the guy Had the mob sheen shared on, we sell those it. We sell those now bugging going crazy, they're, all at my. So just move sea like I'd. It's fun to wash our fans, like our fans, go back like go back and forth with us like bus balls with us, because that's all all we do there but I know it is it is, it is. Fun is cooler. Vessels are airum back to back. As I think was a look out. I won his vessel. I want
his vessel be number one running on Netflix without a doubt, but don't worry, but none of this is not enough, because no one has that and I want to watch. I know them in mine will be number two if we had an eminent get one number two than other Look at the fucking, so sad caught the loser. You ate joy ideas, poor guy, that's a real person, while gentleman should take this time to better himself. We can all do better. I can sometimes people just go off the rails. Gaia, went off. The rails is diet, man, diet, dives. Everything is that I'm not on the carnival diet during all this craziness sums eating on this, in cowards, because I like the supply Jane and the way things are is no way I can justify only eating meat unless a Montaigne, my meat like the Elk, meet them our eat Belgium alone, how I love you.
Don freezer bags for you, fuck yeah, I'd like to. I love you in a way to man. Eleven people cook it, but other than that. It's like I need to eat food like I'm, not concentrating on weird dieter and it make sure I could eat only meat, but I'm not even thinking about that right now. I'm thinking about right now is like making sure that I make the right decisions with everything that I do from out, because I think we're in unsung territory or Neverland. How long do you think you can go I don't know, but here's the thing we will. This is what I really feel like. We are going to do this together like it's. Not the problem is even thinking. How long can you last part of the problem is even thinking why? How long can we last alone can all of us last, and I think this is if the power goes out, that's who were really forced to cooperate.
And I don't want the power to go out. I want to figure it out before. I want us to take this plunge into the apocalypse and baby steps. Please. My question You host a shitty game show now hold on if it meant giving money people in need of money, and this time they go Joe. We want you to host who has been millionaire he, but why would I do that? That way, when I could do a right here, not just say I'm just now, however, everyone anywhere else No! I don't want to boss, you can't do it. I can't believe nothing you do. You could do if someone's looking over your shoulder, telling you what to do something corporate guy who just wants to make sure that he can keep paying his mortgage and funding his lifestyle, and you know it mean He'S- got a lot of experience Television shows. Just let me handle this stuff and you do your job and I'll do my job Lavalava. We going to have a talk. You drink too much again, do fatty belly out all the time networks? Don't like it when they see no you're some fuck, indifferent day too,
they had and all, but in and I'm sure you appreciate the gig, they gotta travel Channel, like I appreciate the gig you're gonna fear factor, but it's not that it's on a great job. It is a great job, just like everything in life. If you have higher expectations of yourself, if you want to express yourself in the most accurate way, the best at being comfortable in your own scant here, what we can do, that is by so you can have some fuckin giant dank rolled machine- was hundreds of employees all with their job riding on whether or not you say the inward Jane part. It have lost of people in the corporation drought ram. You can't you can't say those words. Do you realize how many times
corporate razor behind Bert Entertainment? They would like like what the fuck are you doing? Well, that's. The irony is the irony is! Look how successful it is without any of that intervention. If you just are yourself, if you just are authentic, that's what you are and that's. Why works? That's why? I podcast work, they work precise. See because there's not a machine behind them. There's not a giant corporation behind him, the counts on their work because there their independent, that's the only way you get real people debt for the fucking thing that you get when you make people behave in this weird way. It's a good thing, it's like you're you're, not getting an accurate representation of what it is to be a person. You can't count in there. They just lying to you all the time and that's why politicians and political speeches are so strange. They almost
universally act like no one you ve ever met when they do in those speeches from the standpoint of a do, nothing with their thumb and doing their best. Barack Obama impression you literally putting on an act putting on. I have no idea who you are you. Be a morning dj from Fuckin Cincinnati, Hey Eureka coming out with a hit routine year, Europe, the early people, either people get our. I mean how many those guys we're interchangeable. How many those as where interchangeable and they would then you could put them in a trip club. They could be a chip club dj. They could be irregular dj top forty. There was a voice now one someone's talking that voice
You have no idea what the real thoughts are. You ve, no idea you ve got a clue and that's most of what we got with like the today show like give Matt Lauer had a podcast and it turned out that he was so pig created a Paypal Paypal. If you like, I knew that guy was a pig village. We solve the fucking, also energy Liam into it. Well, if he was just We actually was right like when you do. When a show like that like something like the today show one of the reasons why people so angry because you ve been pretending, you dislike wholesome character. All this time you ve been. Tending how grew to be met, lowered. It has met Lauer Voice, but he's talking about porn eject off to his excellency Kaliko born in back right now from our it's my allowing little up again? Wouldn't it be better if you feel that not be that guy you're on tv into
who you are when tvs off. I don't think he knew he was ever. I think you is that I think what to find my flower was being famous, is fuckin Did you find a lot of us getting into this business and not having a lot of it shifted the good ones stuck to what they wanted to go. What they wanted to be, and I think a lot of people still just wanna be famous, I think it This is what you know why, when the reasons why it is hard to be but bizarre to be famous someone there's a thing that out in its hard to get why get that he ever seen like some some people, their intellect exclusive things. You know you I mean like you, you want one like give this only for these bags in North America, I've gotta get it. There are no girls, get like certain. Shoes guys get shoe. Yea Travis got oh yeah, there's a lot to do during Jordan's like specific old school Jordan's. I'm looking at you,
Eureka sneakers Nigger head right, there are not right. The meagre sends a pandemic about one. I thought you are or their self icon her, but I get it man I get it. I get it. I get in some ways, but you were saying people that are into elite things, correlate needs at famous people, yeah it's hard to get that bag and it's hard to get famous. So when you not famous, it looks like a thing that will be cool to have like I'll look. Look at this patchwork on that red carpet, cut em! Look at those shoes damage! She pay three hundred thousand hours that outfit look at a chain. Oh look at this! cash got out at a billion dollar. Bulgaria right this is hardly get man. If you'd drive around town fuck in two thousand and one Honda cord, and you see someone step out about boo, very wrong that you know cause a million dollars a college
God, but Lane you know, there's a certain do certain things you see that you just get like really jealous of not because you would actually want them, but because they're so unattainable and people fuck up with that. That's my girl get asses that are too big. Crazy and they get this bizarre diaper ass. With these little skinny legs and the two things don't work together. Why it's his they they overshot the mark right. You painted your house pink slowdown. Ok, you had a bad idea and he ran with it I think you look good for beer and you go and pay the whole. What I saw some guy who built something at his house that was basically a fuck you to his neighbor. He built like a middle finger. Somehow I refer you always three chimneys. He had three news like this: to build like a fuck you to his neighbor.
The aim of bugging investment. I don't have that kind of money. If you can find the guy that is literally fuck, you money, I think again trouble for it. I think I think maybe he'll, like you, said something about her. Thing Johnny, my fingers, that's your that's! Do you live wrote that cause I fucking hate you Johnny Depp has a bigger realer flipping off his neighbor. I think a gorilla huge food the joint efforts like eighteen houses, but He wanted the last one of a black our assembly to buy a guy when cell that's right, the ozone hole blog, here's a whole blocked by the way this house, one time, ok, would slow down do. I have a voice from Johnny Depp. I haven't deleted enjoy talking to him and he was walking Aachen awesome I was drunk and Marguerite is in Hawaii and stand hope manifold with joy and as a man. How weird is my life
I can tell talking to Johnny Depp Wise hammered in a very chair. We talked to instead of call me one night and I let it go to voice mail. I regret it so much, but I got it on voicemail boat Johnny with the big meantime, are working on a script majority. Are you really get fear? We visit on the bar I was like and then all the sudden everyone got interested and I was like fucking I'll write it. I tell you what I enjoy talking to him he's a very wise guy he's is a very when we talked to him he's there. You know he's a dude experiencing something that small fraction of all the humans who have ever lived been able to experience experience, fame and the most preposterous, staggering level imaginable, and then he's expire
That is almost like. He owes people something so is being held to the standards that that none of us would ever want our own laws. Beheld too, and some weird fuckin legal battle between coolly who did who to what will happen in this recordings, and all this chaos like a goddamn like live in this out in the open, like this salt. Like this? It's sad because you look at him in a different way. Does that not one? You are largely the pirates movies he's manually is somebody was so good in those movies. Like so good. So many levels that I've seen them all and we just the first week a pandemic. We just whilst all of them all over not only brass Go Donnie Brasil, for me as if he so glow in blow locking out of his world his he's one of the best actors. We ve never had one of the best american actors, that of ever existed for, show out Adele and
and I'm telling you is someone who talks to crazy people all the time and talk to him he's as remarkably put together as you could ever expect a person to be. This is famous, as he has he's a really good guy. Like you talk to me, there is talk and he's just talking to you. There's no he's there for you, stalking, yes, good guy he just experiencing something. No one is prepared for he's: Johnny Depp, Johnny, Depp AIDS. Tat. What I haven't got deaths are that this one bitch is one one want have a billion people on this planet is experiencing some weird shit. You know, he's not a bad guy. Stewed network scissor, as it is done everything mean that guy is movies, is how many moves are less ballpark and I must say fifty I think, you're right, I take any say all right. Wasn't
one Jump street ass you, I went to one judge, dream fame, whose honour, but I'm afraid you re looking for good or ill. You killed him. Freddy Krueger, Fellini comes back is like this find a way to have a guy with claws, forefingers poisoned how did you get your, whether worse, guy with claws her fingers list these three guys historically in film, with claws Fingers will reign, but he's is different because they came out of his knuckles right. They'll is confusing broken off, but still came back for Friday, itemised faint watching them. My god. Look that belly amazing. That it cannot either so long tea would alley. He was beautiful. There's a beautiful man like that, like that's, not a normal development. Congratulate
to him for making it to be as normal is yes, but he had so is with this guy. Who was one of the worst with the clause or fingers, and then it becomes Edward scissor hands who just kind of confused what what stretches a character to to play that as this I confused my payment just as Edward Penis lips, In other words, the things you do. You know where I really enjoyed what the loan range the more recent and he played a comanche and there was a this is like I've. I kind of got into this when I was reading empire summer. Moon is a book about Comanches about IRAN. Audio. It's amazing, I say: reading I'm lying. I listened to your book to but Deniston reading things about it on line. One sees us are reading about is that Johnny Depp played a comanche in this, movie and actually like. I did some weird shit. Yet illegal stuff bird on his head, which apparently some of the comanches some different indian tribes. Actually dealing crazy horsey.
Need any stuffed hawk on his head, but a he played this. I really weird character. Man like yeah plate, but It was a really weird target was outside also what it was like super fuckin natural spiritual, Tonker Tonto, who brings alone ranger back from the dead. The brains are bad for the data that movie, but it's a dull movie, but you're interested in it because of Johnny Depp. Its part mean that the character so ridiculous, his native american gather, bring someone back the debit Johnny Depp plays it so hard core. He plays it so to the bone that it's, like you really lucky this there's this guy brought him back from the dead that Tonto, though the right the original tonto is bullshit got into law. Trouble towards the end of his life for plan red face auditing that they call it is red, face, is like we were not really native American. I think
Is that what you're saying or is it that he was native American, but that he played native american movies? I'm a little high, I'm Frankie's MAX get out now how did we learn made me? Maybe, like port part, more mask important remark, and while he was a thing, the fact is that he talked like me so horny caught nothing miss her. Maybe a dazzle areas is that anything either it is acting on the side of the house. That's it! It's a chimney Nice is this. If I actually on the outside of it, is cactus, that's a cactus, it was paid. All you said it wasn't a chimney correct! Oh so it's just cashless has found a picture that, like you, did this to pass off their councilman neighbours, the aid and like them, but I would highlight I'd. Billig my gods coastal areas the amount of effort put into Bolivia that right in his back yard. So ridiculous and that's a council.
That's. Why is it that way brought it up? That's just try Jennifer you time. Maybe we're gonna pay attention that guy's Haiti saving a fine, Johnny Depp Guerrilla. Yeah, well, you're, really, a gorilla, I think I saw it a gorilla, none other like a big guerrilla inflatable guerrilla Fucking Flickr flipping off his neighbor. I think I touched it went down Must you drink there? There is the idea, but is a giant I was pretty way someone out there a gorilla in congratulatory, for so we as the sculpture right in your neighbors backyards. You wanted by the house and they wouldn't sell it mountains. Let that girl, I love his hat, be a good neighbour. I love his hat, ate it guy example of hats, great job. It's almost like he's apologizing for being so good. Looking so dresses, goofy don't get that place, what sort of way
rages? I'll bet you do that just lose a lot of weight. I come here on our own. If you come out of this better than anybody like. Let's maybe maybe that's one thing which do maybe all she get together and have a quarantine challenge. They wish together. Approval of Zagreb, Galileo will not under the table come on, man would say self ended up in. Idea? What he's scared of an end? No, unless get him finish line, I'm so into this. You know this is our brain worth. Thinking like for all of us like what, what better way to turn this into a positive, then to like to make some sort of healthy competition out of it a lot so brought over yeah, I love it. I give us of a break tonight to boot today would boost brought we just in case and we're doing upon. Casper passion you gotta pick.
Many special nerveless we're going to have. It was a success. We did exactly what I wanted to do. This is perfect everything. I everything. If you told me in college, hey man! You know that Guy Newsradio Radio, you going prove that I'd like fucking driver It is just wrote a letter I mean this is like my life's works out pretty good, so all of our lives have been enough. For me to be me is one of the weirdest things to know that I could wrap my head around hard time rapidly had around all time, and indeed You, like an I, not to draw this belief. It brings about perspective of like, like honestly, just like how fucking lucky we are like when I think of me Lego. We started the fucking store. You gotta help man, I'm like overwhelmed by that we need you like a comic relief or something big on our platform? What we can do, what we can raise money we could deftly do that was doubly, don't it as well.
You know, I'm donating waiting for them said something that, but I think we should continue to donate, and I think that, particularly with the people that we know we have a system of all of us is the weight staff there's the management staff as a kitchen staff and all these places and they ve all taken a big hit and in its far worse for them that it would be for the same amount of money for us. So I think we can pick up some slack yeah. I think we all do that. Together we figured out like a good system within all the clubs. We can keep everybody. Ok, I think that's does doable. I don't think that's bad. I think they'll be great for all of us, a thing of gray for all of us as a community in a will realize k, we cannot shipping Do you know I have a lot of meat that I've been given out along my comedian friends now I'll be take us I m at last. I love that makes me feel happy Billina arose and I got into a bone arrows good beer
avatar, an eerie aren't I do in the new house, yet we know full well what I can build rebuild the new house anymore, but we had nothing of his back. Let's get you back yards from your old use, the back yard for the new house. We live in the old, now exciting last forever in this is gonna, be here I hope Knightleys, there's gonna be a bum opportunity. It's gonna be the best thing. I'd say it's an opportunity for us. I kick it. No one can say it's going to be there, sir. It's going to be that we have heard a lot of people, the trod either Comfor people or they try to push their point across animals if they ve can win this argument, Then there is more likely to be true and its comforting in some sort of a word were, but no one knows no. No, no one knew that it would go to no one knew form, to go. No one knew four months ago that four months later would be here. No one zero people knew that
we didn't know that what we don't know its common for months for now it can compound. This is still right now, even in quarantine. The best time humans have ever had ever on earth are obviously not for the people who are the victims of the disease, but we can be ok come on how this and it could be a wake up. Call for peoples live in these lives that are unsatisfying an end, and you know it and figure out a way where we stop trace, chasing bullshit behove, arguer life stop chastened, bullshit, two major men, just perspective it and I think it if I walk with any fucking perspective, that a better man, I think is now in the two on for every week area, fuckin baronet remember like keeping back this combination with early long she's, like you're, talking like it's going away and also from the right
as such. It alleyway important sheep, Josie, Pye design them in a wholly from our our Ngos, eternal yeah. I guess you're torn like it's going away ass ago, YO. Ultimately, you were right. You cholera, This is what I am talking about. Lady, where the gun I began for six goddamn months. We have no idea, I mean, I don't know mean they. They might have literally know nothing about when the window of a vaccine is I've, heard elaborate numbers from twelve eighteen months. I do months, I do not know I've heard all sorts of different stuff about promising medications within the first couple months. Do not know, there might be something they come up with in a month or two who knows do not know the cool thing about the new cycle is waiting for hope like waiting. For
How to get online and get excited go breakthrough today or that's why I like a goddamn man once the shit go sideways? That's when you need a really good leader. You really do need someone who is honest when all the bullshit goes away when everyone's worried about it and an invisible monster that wants to kill your grandma wants a sneak into her lungs and shut them down when one people or worried about that kind of shit, you really want someone who has their character in order. You know on this is this is one of things that we should really take deeply into consideration when we talked about someone being a president or any any politician, anyone who's the leader. How are they going to react when it goes sideways? How are they going to keep it together? Are they going to make you feel good about this, the reality of this world, or they going to just freaked you out with bulshit,
you feel less connected to a because you know that their words and not honest there not accurate and not not heart, felt its spitting out bull shit and you like fuck this goddamn cars going sideways down the highway, and no one knows what to do so. We need to vote for the rock I'd above for behind in one hundred percent. I would I'm all in for the rock is, as he is about everything else in life, be greater president, but no one should be president give it. The rock could like what you need is a figurehead to let you know how today is gone. Work out here as blank uses? Those inspirational speeches mean a lot here and in the rock and give us every morning from the iron jungle. Just a guy, big Day legs Harrison. The colonies do have a right. Now everyone loves the rock if he became president. Forty percent of the people would mean start hating. No, yes, no honour percent Brown unify the country. Impossible can't be done. We love
resolving. Really love tat. I loved you know the launch in there just be me, talk about a dummy is read as new this year has got biceps save much of me shit to, and then a trip his decisions what the economy is doing, and what does it do it in that, like that? Why would Do that I would you just keep doing Jumanji movies, never loves. Jumanji movies are so fucking luck with the latest ones. Are casinos the fucking homerun gap which she came and Larry Dude I tax of her like, are nowhere that well kindly someone's of danger No! No! No! I named rights. I called her out on like Israel, one hey this fucking amazing oxygen is amazing. My daughter's Lubbock Vienna lover she pines use. Ok, thank you, demonic, cheaply, Danny Vito talking up suddenly are watching governor Duenna jewish axing when uncle freely
came in. I went he'll blobs she's earlier Danny to Vienna. Love is walking around with Who is she stole the movie at that point, the rock when the rock goes off brand and he goes up We gas pitches, somebody I get my horse gives a when he paused to kill and you're like weep israeli afternoon this, while the rock now he's when he explained individual areas, do they were Oh that's right. Seminars play in twenty one, a lethal weapon, Danny Glamour, Gang lover yea. I do have a horse funniest here and in the rock was planned Danes for that you, those Jumanji movies, do not lead to divert. The second will be just as good a far better than the first one. The first one ice came out, and I said grosses about movie overseeing entirely from forty seven years old, university or better one. It was a perfect movie, they could take a family to and the second one was the same way
Move you ve been looking for a family moved to watch, unlocked down right now, and you haven't seen Jumanji to its excellent is really good. It's fine man, Kevin Heart is a talent, a special talent, so in that Red Headed throws kicks that chick is bad. Ass. Gorgeous jangling back lays among its fund a watch him be not something other than Jack like what he's good. At the due to place. A football player fridge his eyes on the idea that the Instagram, if my Sophia. It's a great cast. Man is on areas. Every walk, a movie funny the know Kevin Hart, like my daughter the day. So it's not about Kevin Hart and I said something she goes, but you act like you know, I'm like oh yeah, yeah. I know Kevin. She goes you don't know Kevin Hart fuck, I dont know Kevin hardly know ever like leaves out him about New Kevin hearts. Brother is acknowledged, professional pool player Kevin Hard Brother is in the front row at the dizzy, improve one night and are making jokes, sometimes forget some fuckin horrible joke
and he laughed and hard- and I say you look like fuckin you're, like a dirty ass, Kevin, harder, somethin any goes on his brother, no one sure yarning already go fuck brother go. No, not niggers, I'm his fucking by the This idea go I'll. Fuck is brought. I told you, I told him all the cabin our stories I have is a legit professional poplar for real yeah. Look really good. I watch videos of imply now, like this guy place, like a problem like he's a place like of your watching, like any like real professional play. If you
Catch yes, began nine ball. Events like Johnny, Archer, Plain Earl, Strickland or Shane Van Bony. He plays like those guys like legitimate, really play their pro yeah, washing ploughs, like always like a real pro, while did you, I said dot documentary documentary over this up with cabinet nodded. He had looked like legit back surgery, yeah like cut down a spine. What did they have to do our job by the fucking accident driving to work one day, but does it get us a brother yeah? His brother plays really good, like really good. Like, as a person who's been planned, pool. I've been plain pool for almost thirty years. When I watch plows, I, unlike ok, he's legally like washes, he's doing this drill, watches going across
making room for his brothers aside jet good now. You know like, like a real professional pull Blair any give. He has his like videos that he'll put out of instructional drills like he's doing right here. This is a positional drill. There is doing to try to get in line for each each ball basement by fucked up here. It's gotta areas. Oh oh, he goes the other way. Once you pass the side pocket, then you go the other way, that's interesting. So the high deal just done just drilling cutting balls in off the rails very difficult to do, and he's too is lacking like meek, eminent or someone. My thought like, like a real professional he's, really good washed and plan ass. I sit Kevin. A text message to your brother is fucking led Chet, like he's a real pool play his brother is legit horseshit yeah dude, he's really good. Like he's a guy that, like looks like the wind legs, paint daring, Appleton, daring, appletons like,
use a top sneaker player in England and then came or played America who accessing replete English eight ball to, but then he came over to America and start dominating pool and so that guy's playing guys like that, so Kevin hearts for others bland, like top notch world beaters in pull tournament. Wherever there is, is good credit to fuck EM masters. Other mom exit like how I've sexes piece of shit, assisted dad's com that did everything it was a guy, that's not ignoring the author, their child, as if only that men always think that whatever is done dad that ensures that all daddy issue genes is, there must have been a fuckin savage who I'll do that? That issues! That's why you succeed is because you want to please you gotta think that's
the kid it could be that could have been. It's not see that whenever we try to make your motivation for anything or your reason for success are by and everything one or zero and there's a lot of factors. The lot of factors heartbreak kid lead people to success. Lou some guys get their heart broken this man. They just go. Ok, gonna, show you time to teach everyone and want to fuck me that they wanted to have fought me, and they are no time to teach someone who says the Euro lose some of these the love and they chastise. You say you're losing your, like you think so, ok, while our Czech and you with you a check in with you about six years and see how this works out their girls, I want to give trophies to try and go to him and you did it. You told me
going to make it, and I want to thank you so much do that the people you know in those emotional moment, so I can say the most mean shit cuz. I know that it's going to hurt, but sometimes it works. That's a big fat shaming! Sometimes it works I don't know I was fat until Tom told me- I was fat. I thought it was good. Looking I swear to God. I look at those videos. I go areas like I'm fine, when I was opaque perfect, I was like you told me about a grew, a beard IKEA. It anymore. It's funny like fat, shaming, feels bad, but sometimes to feel bad to make changes, but so sometimes fat. Shame could be like the most valuable thing anybody can ever do to you, but you know anybody do it to anybody. I don't want to buy. Do it to me I don't want to do it anybody, however, its very value. If it happens,
how the hell he's like a gold. They can make you rich, but could also burn your hand. Did you pick it up? I think you probably should you'll hear from the burn. A listen to this act when I run is called active in their skype. And whose sometimes that is coaching we're talking about coaching, my wife lose makes gotta trainer. Sometimes coaching can get to the heart of what you need and there's a part of this fuckin run. I do with it. Aim Regos, you know all those people to talk about you and I go. Tommy tell him we're all your Tommy closer. Their legs are always Craig it up. A little higher ago do you have any regret for underperforming in the sober October, however, any our red vaguely. Why didn't you wanting you get after I couldn't I never could whenever good got it function, my head, my city, fucked up every time fuck my hat, but there was so much trash Talkin everybody wanted.
B you there, but it's gonna get ahead of you. I got so overwhelmed by those buyer subject olbers like so overwhelming, then it will resume at one point. One point Tom talk me off allege negroes, hey a remember, you're, just a comedian I would really goes. You are not an athlete you're, just bird and you're a comedian don't lose sight of that. I would get like oh get over fucking wound every Shelby, sober, easy pc. We all did fifteen so sober which macaws hot yoga easy easy. We'll have a was that's what I rolled into like no big thing, and you did a high with marshal and I did a hike, a dog captain. I lost my dog, but the whole jobs that are lost model about Joe. You do Mamma do too two miles for animals like amused by the brutal appeal procedure, and then I pretend lose Priscilla Right is a joke. Yeah and that's where exploits to fire, ignore.
Knew that I had a high school of luck and then I started getting like overwhelmed. That idea was sleeping. I was like getting up to run my back. My sciatica was hurting. It was like it was so fucking aggressive that, like all fund that I rolled into one contaminated lost challenge and I just drank the whole time and lost like forty pounds. All that fund so lost in this rugs. Eyebrows, like for women If we can win I have an experienced anything like that, since I was about twenty to twenty one years old. Those last time acts parents that kind of obsession well, something nickel leaked into the marathon and you're talking about the marathon, and then all the oligarchy me at home and are at the root of an anti a champion of game for the pay off
I was like. I entered l a marathon, a timeless, why a samurai Marathon niggers you'll have to Ireland. I have to get down there. Is there is a gay? You don't know what you're doing it may cause you got, so they couldn't negroes. No, no, we don't care and those like, I'm gonna, do it like. I was like just marathon, I remembered, but that there's a attachment I have to whatever that focuses. Where I go, I do for specials right so dialed in its really unhealthy, but it's not because that's her create something great like when you do a special. I know how much energy put into it you think about it. I was asked obsessed Cuz. I go with this picture. I was like. I don't want to be the guy that does the same special three times in a row. I want to grow. I want to. I want to create. I want to show my big fuckin. Why whale was like that Starbucks bit? I
Where I go, Deasey thou o my Macedonia and I go that's from me- and this is a way of thinking it- it's guy walks and will bar where I was was an old Mars to an old school Jonathan present. In my the way, our tells areas- and it defines me laughing it jokes, but in the end it called my friends. It was like my favor, jerk ever written. I love that obsessions nigh healthy man is not healthy, it'll, be all right, It's not that it's not healthy and all agree with that. I just think it has to be balanced out, but I think it is because you know that, like that bit when it came out, fucking killer it needed that. Me no need all that obsession for it to grow. That's how bit that's a great that we have of a busy really enjoy a really cracks. Get up there and people really laugh hard. It's hard to make one of those, and I think this is the it's it's worth it for you. You giving into that obsession so that the audience had experience like a really well crafted really rock and joke
but there is no other way to make the man I can't. I don't know another. Where do don't think there is another way that every special that I've ever put out a voice fuckin hated immediately afterwards. You know what I was doing while doing. I still can't believe you like this crap, you added it paid, knows it and listen to four hours and hours and hours you fucking, aided by time is over just potter said to burn a dove, our forebears, what gave our guy because human love special, I went, really Yours is brimming gun bids awesome and just Potter's me he's like its awesome. Atomic Go Tom did, you think was also because we all those some of those like for reuse, like I dude, I know you hate it, because you see it too much it. Isn't it you gotta realize if you're seeing a special over and over and over and over and over again all the surprises gone right, she just analyzing the light, the mechanics of the the bits- and maybe I did this one.
The first but down there in the second, but you not accept sing what it's like to not know where you're going the audience is the only one that gets experience that so it's so hard for you to get up, and then the one thing I always say, imma say it again. This is true. I don't you say when you have you in the audience: watch especial you're getting a hundred percent. If you at home, watch Netflix, you might get seven. I dont think you really get seventy project sixty paragraph sixty percent of what it's like to be in the room, because, as a human there's, something about laughing in a room full of two thousand other people laughing and you're. All your little buzz like by doing it onstage you take a shirt off, they go and everybody then do it. It's like this. It's a big part of what stand up comedy is easily doing it lot, so we almost just getting around France point. It's like Google MAPS when you watch net in real life
chewing on Youtube or something like that. A watch on Netflix its I Google maps, because it's not like being there give you if you stood there on the ground like like this, looks different on the ground like the the mountains. This way, and I was looking at Google MAPS, I couldn't tell them looking down this thing. That's what it's like when you're in the audience of economy club is like being their verses watching Netflix, which, like Google maps its way, it's way not being there being maps king of the visit, the fuckin rain forests he's go, look in their spread, it out pictures with a skin, fucking ground looks like from the sky, but it's not gonna be like going to the Amazon. I that's where that one of the obsessions I with my last, not this one The last one was note where I had one experience with tig.
Were we entire dignity of man? Taught me the big one of the biggest as an ever learn stand up. We did premium blend together and she went first in she for the first time in my price to deck like literally sucked it was so bad old age, and so on. Sure minutes and I went After an eye murdered, I thirteen or by murdered? I wants to taping, take destroyed because her jokes were amazing, shame play for the rooms play for the people in the audience that people on television- and I That's what you're doing here I am like raising my voice. I go and like what's up you feel like everyone, homesick do doll you shit down other somewhat have to watch and take that I went don't play for the people. The room playfrock play for them in the room, but but make sure be cognizant. That you're making this for a television show shadow whether she met a general purpose or knob man. I watched her so my premium blended. She murdered my bombed up on tv and I was, like
You d, I don't go in and go puts up Jacksonville, as you murdered in person, a bomb Don T Mobile TV, because I possible my energy was sold. I ordered in person because it was there. Our people can events you, the abundant tv measures. I view, can pull up premium blends, but you did well in front of the crowd in from the crowd, but I was playing louder on the mighty smoke too much we might have. They could knows that, as is heading dignity, slackened, Dick Jirga, shyness lighted, you just did their regulations on that exist in this area. I wonder if people can get less concerned about politically correct and I think that the region Jimmy our Talkin Melick gender Pro, They are not really just call me whatever you want to call me. His toilet paper should be nice to each other and fuckin relax. I think that's part of what we're going through as a culture would the outrage culture has because it wasn't anything real to fight against. No
there was not nuthin real. That was a real problem, as opposed to every other single era of humanity produce which is. Fill with strife in trouble. The only one. Look at guns, the gun, control ship, there's some kind of disarming updated anymore out the window of so many left wing people line up by guns. Now every yes, including my friends, wives, who used to be? a bad. If she'd they even heard talk about they will get mad and other asking that the husband go, get a gun, no bullshit. Go about what kind of gun. What do you have? Where do you keep it? That kind of, shall I well well well, do that so that sets off the board gets off the board. The people listen Once refrigeration goes! That's when you see what's up once power goes! That's when you see what's up, we live in a ridiculous way. We,
given away, that's only sustainable if a super fragile system days in place, minutes robust in terms that it handles millions and millions of people, but its fragile in the sense that one. Again to solar flare could wipe it out. One earthquake could wipe it out power surge. Is something crazy that you know asteroids shower that his earth wipes out everything that there's we would not. So Annabelle, wrongly sustainable under certain conditions, and a big part of those conditions is the power grid how much is going to change the way people behave, meaning hospital gardens dickens. Rabbits like now wishes to have community little little look a little patch of garden in every community. In his have an area in, I have at five houses of one empty lot for fun. Allows these really brilliant right, one of July the size of a lot that the house will be built on, and then you just grow vegetables and have chickens, even if your vegetarian folks listen to me chickens
you don't hurt them when you eat their eggs is no hurting them at all. If you, if you're, if, if you're feeding them well, then exit be nutrition. Is the really easy xo coyotes around. That's might the number one problem that I have is coyotes with target the chickens but other knives, let him go out in the yard ban. They fine bugs to eat worms, and then their exit delicious and you not hurting them and they prefer being in the chicken coop to go out and group for safety you shut up. And there you let him out the morning delicate. There were like my friends the best in your wife.
Ever did in my entire life affecting me was convinced my where to get chickens ducas you you get healthy food. Almost every day you get several eggs, which we had a high point. We had twenty two chickens alluvial ten exit day every day, ten eggs and I'll eat six eggs for breakfast, really good, delicious. Just fuckin nutrient, rich protein, rich and known, gets hurt like a double yokes one time who my favorite the world. The problem as if you want more chickens lending and have to resources are cocksucker their ass, all the scream in the morning. They wake up. Everybody piss off your neighbors. Everybody wants me to do to chicken. Lay in an egg is loud, David. Tell him I'm mercury, don't apologize was Tommy and a chicken that my bookmarks What about my really aggressive, tells goes where the fuck are we going
I wouldn't matter of his unit as those of the light that were every day a fuckin egg came out here. Twat we can eat it, wouldn't be so ridiculous. His chickens, guinea thrown eggs to, and you have to keep them from fine that out really I have they find out Mister, Peck and eggs. So as an exit out, there's yes of an egg falls and breaks, you gotta be really careful the chicken and find out about it, because once they fought looked a little dinosaurs per o little dinosaurs You know one of em try to bite my youngest daughter when she was. She was very young time. I want to say she issues someone the neighbourhood of four or five, when this chicken start Pegana toes and my what my wives, like, oh, she probably thinks her toe Where am I gonna? No she's trying to eat the baby incarnate fucking
chicken is trying to either the baby. She doesn't think she's a worm. How come she doesn't think. I'm a fucking word, since this thinks that that thing is slow and often young enough. She bills eat it because chickens to tell and things are Varner. A little proud man, you ve seen chickens with mice before right. You have your seem in real life or the mouse. No, not real life. I've seen several times. Rats run amok homage inner chicken, coop Leah others. Those chickens will turn on that wrath and catch him then catch that mother fucker. In a corner, though, tearing apart, I don't think it about hunt rats, my polygon well rats it anywhere. You live in California, Withers hills and people, you're infested and fruit, trees, yeah fruit. RO after your backyard, it's fucking infectious garbage cans on a regular basis, garbage cans outside in ways inside thing find a way inside your house. I live, live in and see no in this place. It owes renting those totally infested with
It was found that big rat here run around in the fuckin owls. Also I set a trap wants and I went out a saw, there's a rat and lazy so back to better Micro clean in the morning and one of them the more they ve eaten it, the Rhapsode eaten it. The rats had eaten the other rat. It was a big rat to do a big fat boy like a pregnant squirrel, fat rat of big rat and this rat trap kill Mozart, hole which allows time I got to be at the sat in the morning, so I left that, rather than I went out in the morning to go. Look at us like Oshit, hold wow menagerie in my house. At that time I think about it. I got rats eating each other in the garage. I got a pharaoh, Tat are locked in the room with I've got to pit balls. I gotta fluff bobcat, hundreds of those surrounded with weird animals
Think about it. I remember hearing you talk about those times when you come home and the dogs would have thought over something that happened twice came home and the dogs were they tore each other apart horrible. What warranty males with one female that I got from the pound of Bryan Callen, Bryan Callen call me I've been selected. You got to see this little puppy, Pitbull she's, so adorable you're going to see you're going to fall in love with her. You got to go, see her he's at the LA animal shelter, my god dammit. Okay, so I went down there and I was more on so I went down there and I saw this little thing and she's trapped in in the LA animal shelter release of the time. The place that I'm thinking about not sure if I'm getting the name right was a no kill shelter. They operated. Nations then keep an animal life for a long time. So she had been inside this place for several months and soon she was really kind of weird it out.
Be in jail for that law, not getting a lot of human contact, and so when I took her home and I would Petre and love her, she would get really aggressive with the other dogs to keep them away from her because she didn't get enough when she was younger, so analogies far getting love. Love was so valuable that other dogs, she didn't think of other dogs is being your friends studied them is lovely lives, so they would I'm here yeah. So there's a couple different instances. It happen in one of them happen when the poor guide apparently come over and then the poor gauss petting, both dogs and one dog attacked the my female. My little female attacked the bigger mail to keep him away from getting pet it. She didn't want him to be patched while the pats it was just a mat left and I had a bit about the did it, but it's basically out of prison dog I mean I brought him. A prison dog is dog, had been a prisoner, a giant chunk of its little
and by the time I got at home, it was not tolerate any bullshit and it had this attitude. No matter what you couldn't it love people know no fear at all about it being mean to people, but around other dogs was very dangerous, very dangerous. You never knew it. Just it's out of other dogs is being feeds. You know it's out of. Love is being like a very valuable commodity, and other D Stealing her love God, that's crazy advocates rather jaws were not like that at all at all one of em. I had him since he was a puppy and the other one. I got her like right around the time that he was a puppy and she was only maybe a year old herself, which is another rescue dog they really best friends. So there they were fine together. There are many dogs, have you had in total five at one time I had five at one time. Other members Certainly one dozen was barking one another
Cummings light. Now me love dogs. I love em. If I could have twenty dollars of toys, but it's not fair for the dog. The dogs You know that they're family members, man, indeed love not slow to link this dog marshals different any diver had, because it is this zero challenging in him. There's zis oz he's not bargaining anybody's ground ever his ground like to play a cup of tea, would like it. His mother, and am I gonna? Do you got that? Tell you guys, but his tales wagon, like is no aggression to him. He just all love. What was the vote by the german shepherd? a goal retrieve area by never had one before, but I heard the great dogs a voice heard there really good family dogs lab a black Larry, tell a gale which was far in the quiet
more. She arrived at the bottom of the pool and grab rings yeah mean those are dogs. Eight people used to hunt ducks. You know that those kind of dogs there's task oriented dogs- you could teach them do things like marginal. Whenever he comes over to like like in the morning I get up in the morning, and also my puts up. Brow was obvious. I wrote who always grabs a toy always rather grabs time brings to. I can never just comes to you in and pets you. He comes to you and shows your toilet he's got because his genes are retrievers, so Zaga Bird hunting dogs with somewhat shoot pheasant or something like that, and he would grant grab it and bring back or whatever whatever bird it was an that's. That's like what he's doing any, hold it in his mouth brains. Due to show you have you rarely tears as toys apart Susan Harry's herself, metals tat, his camera he's a swedish go swimming yet I was eyebrow arise it I want to get my aunt Izzie, as our noble Mastiff only get her in the books. You can tells you how embassy.
Six months, and I get her and soon be a year ago and soon Priscilla fell in the Bahamas. All fuck, and this should not a swim yeah. She got output We didn't know she fell in. She just came and you can see this in his dogs eyes like just you, ve, no fucking idea what happened. Soaking wet and when I get wet, and then you see She fell off the like the steps and then under way out, but man, you think you gotta teach it all the way out. Poor. Yes, you have eaten away the pool, and hopefully you gotta have a dog dog friendly pool more more than one ladder somewhere. You know you don't want. You don't want before we have to take the dog out yourself. No yeah does no good. You want what somewhat costs tarred for dogs to when they had to pause up. I agreed to get her whole body up as easy as uneasy I'm like it is for us. You know you get your hands on the concrete on site anywhere. You push yourself up and sit on the side door can't do that dogs gotta, go up steps molested, like some super dar something but yeah metaphysic
up to me and I like twenty dollars. I wanna get Priscilla Mona as the two dogs, the order or older dogs when they pass will have this fucking Idiot dog, easy and then tests is an idiot powers. It spoken six seven months, but the young man get a teach him. Oh yeah. She just as like signal learn man. This dog has so much Fuckin aids like it's almost like just like blind ideal. What were you gonna lashes on crank all they all Fuckin day, I'm weakened eyes. It bore mastiff yeah That's why those are great protection dogs, so much energy. She has got man, something goes down the back yard. This bitch is on the whole, right out there do me she's raised for some do that when a regular person gets a belgian mellow moi and sets bringing that goddamn thing around everywhere. Like all look at you, you little fucking demon
little black haired deem availed him mullahs. I d take out prisoners as at the fuckin. It's like a term of several of the Nordic, exactly exactly the german Czech elegant on the, but it looks so fierce man. Those dogs there, that we had. We use them a bunch times, unfair factor, let in that light as voters thank this fucking live and go to the roof lunatic. This guy down their wild dogs. Man in terms of their letters, is unlikely that thing fly up. That gravel have you seen the one where there is? There is a treat or a ball hanging from a tree. And so this Belgium now jumps run. Up the side of the trunk of a tree and ITALY sideways. I twenty feet in the air to snatch. This ball loses this thing: walk in Are you tight serious across two buildings? Bro, you don't want nothing to do with his dog. That is, a dog was clearly not trained in America
That's going backwards! Now you don't want jack shit to do at this dog. You use you just do not The thing we have Yea Gala TAT, mother Fucker go their amazing look at that. Oh my god do about that about a jumping over this guy's back and jumping into the better that truck as speeding those treat lightly. The financing This is in these things have, and you really only get that kind of vets. Let us as and when the dog. That's like that's eyes. It was not a giant dog like What do you think that weighs building the very big at sixty pounds, yeah, probably sixty or seventy pounds for good. One, although we were just talking the other day about someone who had won. Was really young and it was already ninety pounds somebody how one x it. Who is that those saying that as one that was like six months, all that was already ninety bounds was it Andy was talking about somebody?
Yeah, so the averages like seventy five pounds for male- that's like it's on the high end this guy had one. It was already ninety pounds that was six months also. They also had doubled canines. The ones do shown us light Gray White like two on each side. They have to canines hot. So if you find that image double canines belgian Mamma, a patchwork, that's the thing to do reading there making hybrids. They took great fruit that makes it with orange. Didn't do sums but like that Gaga grapple draft, more integrated in Abu Ghraib level. Together the grapes is about little get double canines shut. Some of them have to canines. I couldn't live at the door. I almost bought a dog Argentina and the guy was like my poor. I bought it. He was there.
Can you grab the dog in bed with you when I go yeah, of course, because I'm not selling it to you and hung up on me, You got it they're certain dogs were, you have to become the master relic like dog origin, or like bull mastiffs, but pit rules on steroids, yeah, the guys the amount of you, once gets ability you, you, ve lost Thou citizens have thank you for stopping me. Silly forget TAT, You know I'm running this house Betsy. I sleep in his bed where the fuck you work on your father, my wife and my go that no, whereas an error imagined such growl anywise humping your wife's lagging own. What have I done and let this giant biscuit to comfortable? the house. A two hundred pound murderous die, also fuck your wife, looking appeal in that thing, that's a most beautiful dog I've ever seen in my life. It looks like it the clown. If it was an evil dog, it does look like it does go back to their picture
So I think that things like petty- why is it is their picture textile, because I love you. I just thought it looks like that's one: that's anyway. The Cairo does Bruckian Petty, so gladiating get one. Now very wise. Doesn't look at that fucking dog, my gun, the muzzle thing preposterous, whose last time you attacked by dog I've never been attacked by dog. Oh jeez, that's their looks like the rock of it was a dog a building tat. Will you that Jesus Christ, and that plays a hundred and already about that's a girl to that's a female dog? try to try to grab onto half hearted to stop it from killing? You good look. There's! No one party, you that looks like a demon like a sweet face demon. You got wandering around you. You are looking to kill burglars. That's the dog I wanted, who build on that Fucker Jesus Christ,
That's it that is a crazy dog to have around your house like you got a really be on top of things. I believe that what the collar lily that won the middle- oh, my god, look a little Shaw. God dammit forging an additional most hard that ray you, God Brow, that's a polar bear! That's like Heaven! has any different. Has it different those those and courses are fuckin ridiculous, shit with dogs? If my I've leaves me I'm moving Malibu. I'm getting kind, of course, want to dented dog Argentina, those heard fuck all the fucking muscles in the chest about thing come on man. That's too weird. If I feel I can have a dog like that. Also took you. Have this obligation to work that mother fucker out every day that day, that you have a super athlete a super. Have you thing have your yard being your like? That's a different kind of dog, that's of dog, that's what it was like you're not outlined in bed with you.
Of course, our why here's a heel wrought running shit son. You gotta, keep those motherfuckers on a leash train them. Well from the time the really young or your get one that's trained, but even then I of one of heard about, like Belgium alone was in particular, like you, gotta be the boss something has to respect the earth. Is that what is our cow shop got he's pretty little town. I windless those wife at all. It was like fuck, you bet, she's like? Oh? No. I got those crazy dog at my house, listening to me yeah, but if a dog thinks you're, not the boss and it becomes a boss, I can't decide to Brandon with the boss likely this big Motherfuker with a deep voice. Six foot, five or whatever is around his gigantic and so on What does a Hebrew? The dogs are? Ok, bigeye go with you in the wise around like who fuck you. Who are you
where's, the big guy. I think I'm the big guy mother fucker. That's why you have to get a dog when it's a puppy, you know and you get a die when it's a puppy than you know, you're the daddy like when I get up morning and marshals. Wait for me, my brow, so I say brow who was it right in round in circles and shit like it's. A healthy relationship like he's in fur. His whole life he's associated me with Goin on, runs again belly rubs and planned. So it's like when it don't you get a dog on its feet. Ground, but have no idea what was going on. You don't know it was gone. You weren't there you don't know. What's going on you get to your old dog, its trained train, how Bio we there Megan assume from some guys, because you trust the reputation, the really good at raising dogs. But it's not the same relationship as when you raise a door from the time. It's a puppy now puppies her there's nothing better than the door. We have now got me because we rose in Phoenix
doing to show my website. Like I worked on the road me, she was hey. There's a puppy like twenty miles from here and I went to the house walked in and this fucking dog climb up in my lap later head on my shoulder and just went to sleep, and I went that you're going home with us. It's to their two adorable puppies, like are the cutest thing that you ever get to experience other than maybe and maybe even more than a baby cuz you not as you not is concerned about them being vulnerable sea can appreciate them more. Sometimes less it's your baby. What's your baby, you just so full of love. You don't know what the fuck do, but other those babies are pretty cute, but other people's poppies are always cute Bobby and thereby the way more. They saw a door, the universally adorable and something about a pub even the way they moved move kind of funny. They go playing. Looked like you, remember the front page of right: love like its having fun
with such as were right now, with this puppy were still Bobby, but it's big and you're like hell. You care not just jump on the fucking, bad and fucking. Just I, like you ve ever, given that lessons d give lessons on home for a while, but I'm not gonna start. They must argue this. Can dogs of, let me die, make the rules. Man you gotta make the rules is she is. She is she's fine hilarious, but may she gets up like just get up on your lap play should have rooms with dogs are allowed to go in you taking a shit and his dog, a walk in the closet, grab a shoe and just walk out to look at me and go sorry. I didn't know you were here Bulgaria. She learned how to.
When the Trask here like Cabinet, just to grant the radio is years ago. What did you say? No, just now you get a trainer before it's too late. It might be too late, and maybe this may be my need. In MILAN. For this one I ran into Caesar belong here. Then I e neither an interim as fate. Where was I do on destiny of art. There is tat. You have revealed a future episode of his show at the fuck. Man can do their bert, that's ridiculous, a written, and where was I murmured Caesar more one? Where were you that's a good question? Fuck? I must have been somewhere like like some sort of event. I don't know, but you need to have him help. You fix your fucking dog near this fucking dogs all over the matter. It is already three thirty users
Oh shit, weeping over leaving our three and a half hours. Ridiculous is also Moslem Alonzo in this, but I am so I'm so glad that would all this craziness. We can still do sunlight, this fog, known social distancing, yes, we're not make out anymore and I'll, be guys at home, listen and stay safe in and Bert Christ Hey big boys, available right now, let's break the internet. You fucks pollution available right now, on the Netflix go there enjoy That's it bert. Crusher Instagram Bert pressure on Twitter do even used but anymore, I do you. Pay doesn't mean people now. I read it without my glasses and tat- is a good move. Just love in retreat, but it will take you brother, learn. Learn to man is always always fun by everybody. Precision. Thank you friends
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We can. We can still do these fun, podcast gas. I hope everyone out there safe I'll, be doing well much loved you off by and big.
Transcript generated on 2020-03-24.