Oh you dirty freaks. It is Monday April 22nd, two days after four hundred and twenty and I'm here with my man, Tony Hinchcliffe, who has never been an individual guest on the podcast for, but we've done podcast before under the ice, chronicles, which, by the way is global on the death squad label on Itunes, as well as the whole area's Kevin Pereira's, podcast called pointless. Muff, said if you want to hear chicks, talk about sucking. No, that's video games and comic books. That's not exciting! Well! Well, we just give him a little falls: advertising Brian, maybe maybe, where people don't you know what this country runs on Son now, a muff said with Ryan Keely, Rankly Ryan, very, very funny and talented, violent killing and

Brian also does a gang of shows and he's doing some soon in San Francisco and Sacramento at the punch. Run in Sacramento and with this man, Tony Hinchcliffe you'll be there as well and uh We do Indianapolis together, yeah twenty, any other road. Never is great. He cries when welcome, but younger here here here, but two Twenty two legendary comedy clubs, SAM Tripoli's, well, our boy, SAM Tripoli, who's. One of my very good. Is it for many many years he's a fucking beautiful human being? I love that guy and very funny as well. So they are at Cobbs on Sunday may fifth and may third and fourth are at the punch line in Sacramento and if you never into the punchline is sacrament never been to a comedy club, the punchline. Sacramento is like one of the perfect comedy clubs to go to because it's been around forever

This is why those places like I don't remember the first time I work there, but it was well over a decade ago. It's a badass, old school comedy club and great great great comedy has been done on that perfectly set out really intimate seating. So it's about place, Cs3 very funny, guy, so May. Third and fourth- at the punch line in Sacramento and may fifth at Cobbs in in San Francisco, and there might be a sub. I guess there might not be though they might not. Maybe maybe AIDS get stronger. Maybe World WAR Z is for real, but maybe there's going to be a big guest. Maybe there's a lot of times. You can't say because the reason things like say if we do want to show like this, like we might have a friend, that's in town, it says hey, I want to do this show, but they don't an advertise, because they have a committed gig within x amount of miles with an x amount of months, sometimes not supposed to say that you're doing a gig like that's why I like it

go to like some guys. You still have a hard time with the comic store for put in their name up there, because they would have like a gig that they were doing it a big place or try to sell tickets for so we have an arrangement. So that's why I can't say, but it might be someone very funny. It might be some that hardly ever leaves LA and hardly ever leaves the comedy store. Wow. This is excel. I want to know who it is. Ok, I don't even know how the fuck it is yeah you do. I think I do If it is worth it is, is awesome, I think, comedy stories. That means eighty percent awesome. You know even the twenty percent mediocre, probably better than what you got in your town anyway picture a powerful ranking love said all right. You guys we, this podcast, brought to you by Tang. I'm so glad that when when we we pick up, Podcast Bonsor you're always like how would these guys a douche bags? You know like what, if that's like a big we're. You know when you take on a sponsor, because

you know I'm not a network, I don't have a channel, I'm just you know, I'm just doing this thing and I'm try trying to like navigate all this stuff by myself. So my attitude with the whole thing was I I looked and I said the most important thing. First of all is that don't feel. Do she like whatever we're selling and everybody looked it's too late. Okay, now for brain, do she I just want to make sure that we're selling is good product. So I get all these emails and tweets tweets, especially sometimes about Ting, about people saying how much money, they're, saving, hunting and guy have talked about it. A couple of weeks ago, he broke the chop. Just build from ninety bucks to like eighteen, I don't know how the fuck you did

one is doing that sound sounded completely outrageous. Well, my bills been that about twenty five dollars a month I mean I have to say that this is my second phone. This is my parlor phone Dan. Would you say that you use it fifty percent as much as your other phone or I'd, probably say my other phone? I use it. Fifty percent more maybe maybe a little bit higher, maybe sixty, maybe six so probably be the equivalent of sixty dollars. Something like that. Would you say that yeah that makes sense yeah. So that's still cheaper than and what like right now, I have you know the Iphone through a TNT as my main phone and that's about one hundred and twenty one, one hundred and ten dollars a month. You know fucking very pricey yeah what What team does is that, first of all the uses Sprint network, they have their own network. These one of the major networks in this country, one it's. It's got 4g! It's it's excellent and they also have the highest level the most technologically advanced Android phones, all these new fucking killer, Android phones,

the Samsung Galaxy S3 and the Samsung Galaxy note. They have the note two as well their fucking. Incredibly things. This would be like you really lost something. If you didn't get an Iphone like you really. If you try to get one of those early android, they were dogs. I did the first one was a you're, so stupid. Those things are horrible, that in those blackberry, screens these these have at one of those the black storm yeah. Storm of shit that was diarrhea your head, that stupid shit bag phone, but these samples, I have the Galaxy S3. It's fucking awesome, it's great. It's the coolest thing ever for like looking at websites, it's huge and it's very fast as well like the processor in it's not only clunky like like the droids bowl. So anyway, the waiting has it setup. Is they have no contracts, so you buy device, set it up and go thing. You can go fuck yourself, you just cancel. Not only that

You credit you an unused service. If you use only a certain amount of your bill. They actually like knock you down to the next level and your next bill. And they credit you the difference, it's beautiful. It's think you could ask for from a big company like a company that I mean not one of the bigger cell phone companies. I mean honey to soften companies, other actually, first of all, there's like didn't the big five or whatever you like T Mobile right, her eyes in eighteen t. It's so generally thought it was like this is like Verizon, powerful, Att, powerful t, mobile you're on a budget. Yeah right now. It is so it's crazy because Timo was their new towers, are pretty advanced and they don't have the you know, bandwith hogs, that you know a t and t and Verizon their I mean so many people were on their network when something goes down. Half the people have Verizon or Att

You know they're not going to have cell phone service, but then you have like t mobile guys there, like. Oh I'm, fine, that's a very timely, that's a very good point! Yeah, and Sprint is a big one. Joey Diaz said Sprint forever. He loves, I've never had other than this, but I got no problems with it and the the whole idea behind Tang. Is that they're just to offer you a service? That's you know it's just it's reasonable. You have to get fucked over. It doesn't have to be this idea that we all think that every should try to squeeze every last dollar out of every last customer think that shit stupid and I think most people are realizing that well so go to Rogan DOT, king dot com, and you can save yourself. Twenty five dollars off of either a phone or service from a very cool company were also brought to you by square space. So you have to ask yourself: do you want to make a website?

bitch. That's my question to you: Bitch: do you want to make a website? And if you do, let's get real, You gotta learn, know html, okay, you're not going yeah. It's just not going to happen. Let's be honest about another thing you don't need to. We can do You get to really learn how to put let shit in and it's going to be all fucked up and then I'm going to try to look at it on like windows, internet explorer, it's to look shit, but look it works on Safari. You don't have to do that anymore: with square space. You can go there and you can create your own website. It's so easy that you can set up a store just like that Brian did it. We were doing the commercial Brian registered a fucking thing on space started. What was it called dolphin service? Now that was a different with you did for square space,

No, I made a major websites but you're thinking of I bought Dick Party in my need my Dick Party in my mouth com. Didn't you, but did you build up of website? Was Christmas yeah? I did a dolphin sex dolphin website. Try to do in right. Now. It's right. Luke Brian is much more technically advanced and uh are aware than I'll ever be. He can throw one of these fucking things together very quickly and he did it through square. You know or just all, still doing a show as well. It's super easy. If you go to squarespace dot com forward, slash job, you can sign with no credit card needed and just try it out. You can just start building upside and, if you decide to purchase, use the offer code, Joe Four, it's Joe and four for April. That's all one word or one thing Joe for and then you get ten percent off your first purchase on new accounts includes monthly and annual pay

plans and again that square space, dot com, Slash Joe and if you're going to enter in the code, use the code. Joe four save yourself, some shekels son on your fat juicy website. It's it. Definitely I create a website on this in a way that I never could in real life 'cause. I am just way too a dd for that shit. I am not going learn, how to do that I had to. I have one where I'm trying to keep up with, but this looks this looks even better. It's dope, it's pretty easy super easy yeah, it's good go! Get it! delicious were also to audible, dot, com, I was actually listening to do. You know I got hooked on man, I'm hooked on. No, how dare you a real read super awesome Dan Carlin's, hardcore history. Dude damn ever since we had that guy on the show we had on the podcast guy was great to talk to a fascinating guy,

really really interesting, intelligent guy. But when it comes to history, he's been putting together like forever he's, been putting together these history podcasts. And they're like a show. It's not like a broadcast like this sloppy unorganized mass, that I try to fucking serve up to fucks Dan Carlin- puts on a damn show, and he he puts it on in like this really entertaining way and gives you this thorough history of all these events, but like really exciting stuff. What are you doing you chatting with Kira? I care I'm sick, hey dude! How dare even give people the idea to do that?

here is going to be super set with you and probably sue this show. But if care is like some super hardcore, feminist and she's like enough Joe Rogan Laugh, but if she's in India, fingering yourself or easy over here with the fingers I'm on a hardcore history among the Mongols. Now he's got this many parts. It is I'm on part three and it's fucking, amazing, it's so great, and it's available on audible dot com he's got all the back episodes I mean he's been. It since I think he said one thousand and five. So you know This guys got a solid eight years of podcasts under him. It's it's crazy and their awesome, listen to one on Germany in World WAR, two the bombings of Europe, he how fucking cool to listen to him.

Really bad! Go to you! Go to audible, dot com, Slash Joe You can try audible free for thirty days and get a free audiobook. Not just that. They also have stand up comedy on there. They have a huge selection of audio entertainment, not just books by. Podcasts like hardcore history and and- and so many other like really interesting things to listen to, using our pals, Opie and Anthony you can get that on audibles. Well, it's a cool service and I've been a fan for years. A huge of audio books. This hardcore history has been making my life like so much more interested in the last couple of days like when I get. The car- I'm not like thinking, oh, you know, get my car and rub and probably getting stuck in traffic, I'm going to go Let's hear more about the Mongols, that's what I'm thinking it's just give Khan was a mother. Fucker dude

is Khan killed, almost seventy million people by some accounts. I can't say more than that some accounts, but as little as ten million like he definite killed, ten million God, Damn unbelievable they're talking about armies that were coming towards China were the Mongols had been an in the distance. They thought they saw snow covered mountains, but when they got closely plus they were mounds of bones. Oh my god, The Mongols had killed ten million people in this one town it came to this. Megantic State and just killed ten million people. It was amazing, I mean a horrific terrifying, just the yeah that that at one in time, just in the twelve hundreds relatively short amount of time ago, there was a guy who brought

watch other dudes with them on horseback and just fucked up the whole world banded together took hostages, took the has just pushed him to the front lines, so the hostages would literally lead the way and people would be defending their towels having to shoot arrows at their own friends who had been kidnapped, their own loved ones, their own children, Mongols were fucking terrifying, it's terrifying to think that just one thousand years ago. Not even there was a dude who figured out a way to get hundreds of thousands of mass murderers to work together. Hundreds of thousands of serial killers, hundreds of The brutal rapist hundreds of dollars is of ruthless, remorseless murderers and they got together on horseback. It takes one convincing leader,

Damn Genghis Khan must've been a mother, because there was nobody like that before, and nobody like that, since his sons tried to hang on to it for a little while, but you know the the what the the reign of power all really came through that one bad fucker. They crazy saying that armies of donkey, led by a lion conquer an army of lions, led by a donkey the all about tactics, and they would be much larger armies with saphir superior strategy, cunning and just ruthlessness. Just everybody was terrified of them. They told everybody, man, men, women, children, babies, they didn't give a fuck, they killed everybody, they eight people they ate each other. If they got too hungry, they would draw straws, maybe you're out how they would figure out, if someone is going to sacrifice themselves so the uh we could go on and they would slow

out of them and eat them and cook him dude somebody. I was only one thousand years ago what fuck Man ban, you think it'll. Ever anybody will ever pull that off again. That kind of craziness That's terrifying! Wonder I I think if you have to worry about anything, it would be worry about all this beautiful city shit. Shutting down! That's the real fear, the real fear is. We have some massive disaster like solar flare did not so our power grid and ability to pump gas is gone. Our ability to drive back and forth to places is gone, our ability to get food

people's gone, and then you realize how nobody we are spread out and house dangerous. This is and how vulnerable we are living like this. I think it would take something like that to bring people to some place where you can get that many psychopaths all together, again yeah. I think it is now that we have the internet if the internet went down. I think she should. We get crazy, really quick, because everybody needs it and, as you Just to it now everything down to the gps and just everything yeah were terrified, I'm terrified of leaving leaving the house without my fucking cell phone, I'm a little bitch little bitch, the machine speaking a machine. Talking about the human machine or last on it dot, dot com. We sell all kinds of cool shit to get your fitness on kettlebells battle ropes, the newest addition weight vests know that armor Brian, it's a weight, vest it's not armor. How to protect you a little bit there we go.

We also have steel, maces and steel clubs. These are not weapons. These are designed for functional athletic improvement all these things that were selling like kettlebells and battle ropes, they're, all for to develop what's best to develop what they called functional strength. We have medicine balls as well functional strength. We sell a pull up. Bar functional like the ability to move your body around as one unit. It's one of the most important aspects of fitness and one of things that people screw up on is if they try to get in shape. They don't know what the fuck they're doing to do like too many bicep curls or too many, like bench press is insured. You know you can whack your body out, making it and balanced it. Some one of the best ways to get fit like a full body fit. Is it do things require you to use the body as one unit, I'm obsessed with that Obviously that's why talk about it? Every week, but I've seen massive improvements for my Jiu Jitsu athletic benefits of training like this, and

I always encourage people to do it. 'cause it's really fun too, and you can get uh great out and literally in twenty minutes, you could do a brutal. Kettle bell. Workout in twenty minutes, follow a dvd, Keith Webber DVD that we have the extreme Kettle Bell DVD. It's fucking awesome and follow twenty it's you'll get crushed and you'll feel good. You feel fantastic so go there, go to onnit dot com and so in in lots of different supplements. We have now vitamin c cl lysine and we, melatonin, Spirulina Arctic liver oil were trying to sell you just the best shit for your health and for fitness and things along those lines, and if you use the code name Rogan, you will save ten percent off any and all supplements how long? How long till you have like a health helmet. If it comes out, dude we'll sell it. If there's a health that comes out, that puts you in a healthy state of mind, what if there was a helmet that came on that immediately felt like someone was talking your dick, how quick before they would make that illegal. Like immediately like

found a spot on your brain where they can jolt with a electricity, and it totally feels like someone sucking your dick helmet that helps your helmet to helmet for your helmet, exactly ' do you think they would make that women would make that illegal maybe men that maybe only bitch about it. A lot men would make it illegal. 'cause they'd never get real blowjobs ever again. Girls are, but just put the fucking helmet on cotton. Why do you want me to do this would be a tough situation for women if the helmet work that way became you think they would lose a little bit of their value. Is that we Oh yeah, I think I think I should be walking around these helmets on all the time in normal. How much time do you think it is before something like that is invented, something that can re create an artificial experience like almost almost exactly I'll bet you one thousand five hundred and twenty years. I bet it's not that far away. Don't you right away, things are moving in shaken the end in bigger team of scientists on that right now than there is on cancer research, but you're right we have everybody's building the helmet. Everybody wants to get the dick sucked folks

and then run with that on it dot com, Slash Joe Qi, the music Brian. Let's get this, it started boom. Son, the Joe Rogan experience trying my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day we're full Tony hands Claire. If that's me, that's the song powerful Tony, has the song. I say it like that. I sing like a woman and if you go, that's me like a little kid: hey everybody, so these are put that on a loop when you may have your own podcast, when you guys gonna do a protester. What's yours, we are at a are in the works. You too, I think this pre production have niceness niceness and he's going to be with me uh this Wednesday night at the ice house. We want to do the icehouse ones. In that sure one thousand o'clock, ok, mom, is going to

two, as well as Tom, Sugar and Bert Kreischer. Oh shit, bitches! That's right! You heard that's right. Tony is an up and coming young stand up I love one of my favorite things in life for real, this really is absolutely true is when I don't know about someone and then I find out that they're funny when I found out about you from Brian Brian, told me about you and as a comedian like one of things that every comedian always loves is seeing a new comedian. Like some someone who knew is funny. Like does another one like who there's another one. You know, and different styles and different. You know different takes, but when they're funny like it's really gives you a lot of hope, and I was in la the entire time, like you started, comedy You know and then started getting a name for yourself and then eventually got to the point where your regular doing you know podcasts and

comedy clubs, and so that's a really cool thing to say: yeah, it's really so much fun. So few people pull it off. You know I I love watching. Somebody who comes through like some new person is funny you know, 'cause, we're all fans singing like you said everybody's a little bit different and everybody has their. You know their take on things, but when you find one there's nothing cooler. It's sort of like when you love comedy it's like watching a baby being born just like that wow yeah persons, hilarious and when you know like you, when you run into someone, and you realize that you know they started out so key and you probably saw him like those during those first couple of months like and then within a couple of years they become competent, then boom they become really good and they like, like ARI, is my favorite example. I it was there. When are you first got on stage like one?

His first sets when his earliest sets- and you know, watched him become like a real they're like Arisha fear, is like a real killer. He did Tom Sugar Party a day, screw had a benefit rather for his doggy, you gotta stick doggy! If you love dogs, you love Tom Segura. I don't know how you would donate. I think they have like a Paypal thing or something. Let's go to your mom's house: podcast, dot com, your mom's house, podcast, dot com, Tom, secure, just the coolest guys over, and he had this show and already went up in fucking destroyed destroyed with a bunch shit that I hadn't heard before too there's a couple bits that were really funny that we knew he writes like a machine now yeah. It's awesome, he's he's just coming up with so much con yeah. I think you also realizes at this time that he's, like you know, he's like in he's, like a real comic now now it's just a matter of doing the work and

smart dude. You know he knows how to he knows how to put it down. He knows what needs to be done and he can go get it done just as a fan of comments, so cool and someone pops up to bill is another one. I got really lucky with ARI because he was the first person to ask me to like do a gig with him him and SAM Tripoli. So was those two guys all of a sudden. All at once I went Hoyer with SAM first and then did a gig in Like Irvine with ARI. What year was this? This is about two thousand and eight that's so recently, do that's awesome five years, you don't yeah as being recently, but you know there was like a year or so that I was doing it before you even get a road gig like that, your house building it yeah. I was you know, just writing bicycle, from open mic to open mic. How many guys that started out with you! You know we all have like kind of like groups of people that we sort of start off.

Around a similar time, and then you watch each other either fall off or give up or or some people get through the net. How many people that, with your class, do you think got through um with my true class, I'd, probably say about a good: it's a tough one, because there were still pulling. You know what I mean still don't know who can make like a pro right hook right at the end before they drop out and have a new fifteen minutes that crushes and it's a breakthrough, but I'd, probably guess about seven hundred or ten right down there. That's a good number like still doing I mean you know, I'm counting my original starting classes. Like a good. You know sixty seventy eighty, ninety right right, yeah, because I know the I mean I'm I'm. I stayed in Hollywood and built in Hollywood, like LOS Angeles, where they feel like a lot of people, start somewhere and then come to LA and, like you know what I'm gonna, I wanted to just have a like an NBA style perspectives. Like Chapelle once said, he was going to a spot on

each one night in the or really late, crushing making it look like I mean it was just unbelievable in the three or four hours in it goes to the back. How many guys are LA comics in a lot of people clapping as, but how many of you are like work here at the comedy, store and started here at the comedy store. It was just two or three of us. The clap he goes you guys are in the same. Is performing to a lot of comedians right. The thing with him coming back a few years ago was like the the you know, the audience that got to be. There was there, but the back of the room filled up to the gills right and he said that it's like learning how to dribble in the NBA starting comedy at the comedy, and it's so true, but it. But if you think about that start learning how to dribble in the end ok and you're in you're. Just used to the motion of one thousand miles an hour, then it works out. I think it's like anything else. It's a more difficult, but also

more rewarding pursuit pursuit, I can take an easy route through life or you can you know I mean not as far as being a Navy seal. Let's be honest, you know, even though Doing comedy is hard and a lot of people that I have figured out. It's not nearly as hard is doing something you hate and being stuck working forty hours a week at this job for the rest of your life. Until your heart stops beating 'cause, you have no passion right, and I mean it was a real struggle for a few years. I really threw myself to the I didn't have sure I didn't have money saved up. I was just I was just doing it and then I got the job working at the comedy store a couple months in like as a door guy, so I started getting spots lot there, which is what I wanted. You know what the problem the story like yours is that it worked so there's a lot of kids out there that I will try that same thing, but there not fucking

me at all. You know it is a it is. I noticed that a lot a lot of people come up to me and say I'm thinking about starting stand up Tony. You know what do you? What what do you think and sometimes they don't they just sometimes a one out of all the times. I get asked this from somebody that wants to start stand up. It's like you so really have a crazy mind ingrained in you. It's not something you start and learn like bye was in trouble every class in school once a day at school, like every class. Every teacher hated me never touched it. I was never like spill milk on somebody. I never did anything physical, but verbally, I was just it's it's what I did is pretty crazy and I mean you know. So you just always talked a lot of shit totaly to the extreme. All the time and the like

energy. You know what I'm talking about. That's not even now like now, I'm like all, even though I'm still young, it's like I'm, not half of the quick wit that I used to be before I realize now. Wasn't I overthink things a defense thing. You learned it from your parents like learning dad. It's really an interesting situation is the way I rate I was raised with so weird that it I know it has something to do with that, because I have these four older brothers and sisters that are much older than me. It's like I, I mean it's twelve years between me and closest sibling and they're all much older, oh wow yeah, so you probably exposed to like they probably give you a hard time. They probably fucked with you really having a little brother super cool. They were actually super cool. That's how I sometimes I wonder how it didn't end up like that. I mean there were times

that was the old. You know you were adopted. Why do you think you're? Well, you know what, when there are twelve years apart, I don't think you're actually going to get there because they're going to be sweet to you, they're going to be like happy for their little brother and sister. It's when you two years apart, you know I've known a lot of brothers. It fuck out of each other yeah. I've seen it happened. Luckily, with the age gap like they were in college, when I was in kindergarten and stuff, but it was Intere but that is. I definitely think it played a role because I was hanging out with twenty year right. I was a little kid and they probably thought it was really funny when you talk shit too, totally. Probably that's what I would do. I would talk shit and I would put on terrable terrible it shows the whole ongoing joke was that you can clearly see you know. I had seen comedian magicians right yeah. I was just trying to magic, but I was bad at it, but I could just lay all that privacy It started. I had to get good at doing it on purpose because it was happening accidentally and I would just try to follow through with it. So you start

we're trying to be good yeah right, but then I just got good at being bad. Magic yeah. It's a funny thing. When you, you see someone who grew up like in a weird spot like that's, I think all of us, like every comic I know, grew up in some sort of a weird situation where some basic need wasn't for failed, so that it creates like it's weird personality totally. I even though I love comics, when it doesn't, beat that weird personality. It just creates fucked up people. You know like, if you don't put it use like creating something that weird energy that comes out of a weird life if you that she will haunt you like that, can that can wreck your life if you're one of those really creative people or more impulsive dole and doesn't do anything about it, don't doesn't focus in on something yeah. This is right and that's an interesting point because of me. I didn't have any creative outlet until like after heist,

because the theater women always wanted me to join theater yeah, but I never did, and I I mean the only outlet other than doing it in front of people all the time and just you know being me, I had nothing so then I spent a few years like what I might, because you don't know that he, if you're just a kid that loves making peace, laugh that you can be a stand up: comedian right when you're in Ohio there's no people in L, a are really lucky or in New York around those areas, because there's comedy there at least you can stumble across the comedy club and go and wonder what's going on there, I might go in there tonight. One time. First time I was ever at a comedy club was at the comedy store and I had signed up for the open mic and gotten on. So it was very grandiose. I mean you know

was beating out of my chest. I knew that it was something I was going to be doing forever. No matter what have you knew it? You knew there was something wow. I definitely didn't know it. The first time I went onstage I was. I was scared, shitless to them waste more scared than I thought I was going to be. Oh, I never. It is unbelievable. It was so creepy because what ended up happening was is blanked out and forgot everything that I've been. That was the one time that I was. I had a couple months to prepare for three minutes. Did you bring notes on stage with you? No I've never liked I've, never liked. Having notes on stage with me, that was a big thing. Man getting ready. Your notes, that was a big thing back there, you go on stage with note still yeah 'cause in the beginning. I definitely went on stage with notes when I first started doing it, but I saw like really good guys go on stage with notes when they were working on new shit. It became like part of the act that they let you know they were trying to stuff out by looking down at the paper, and so but you

to do the first one free ball, yeah, really bad, in ah, I somehow was just digging myself out with by calling out how terrible it was. I just basically saying wow I just blanked out and I've been getting ready for this. For so so I just ended up doing what actually ended up sort of becoming my style, which is like calling out. Whatever is happening in the room except I was just joking about me by thing you kind of have to call out what's happening in the room right yeah and that's. Ah, that's one another good thing, rather that the comedy store provides no crowd control right, none the place is madness. Any night could be madness. That's why I like it was someone anything can happen at the comedy store, for example, when we did that show in Indianapolis, and I came out and looking at the masses of

but the first thing that I noticed to my left is this lady? Let up next to the stage that's doing sign language to the to the audience and I just couldn't help, but the start like I'm at all. It's a you know. It started just with I've never performed in front of one of these people for I've, always wonder what that would be like, and I'm noticing that she has to keep but with everything that I'm saying so like I went off on this whole run about it. But it's just so much fun for Maine, and I could trust my instinct and just keep going with it, because I, even though, like I wouldn't have known to do that if I was just trying to just put on like an act right right, right, yeah, which is also great, but I I got to go off on a run there, and I could trust that in sync. You know by the end I have are doing blow job motions or face, because I realized that if I said the word blow job, she has to do that much, that is. The jerk off on the face is the sign language, for that yeah is blowjob, or at least that's what she was doing actually was a he

because they switched halfway through the whole thing, but they switched. The chick was like enough. Tony Hetrick cell. I think so I just quit. I can I don't I don't know what happened? Did you have a back up so close? Maybe the get tired yeah, I guess so signing Maybe you need like really good hand. Cardio ended up being crazy. I had you know crazy ton of Tweets Indianapolis with so much fun and everybody was like Hash tagging sign language because I couldn't even believe what was going on yeah. I did that once in San Francisco. A guy brought his own. Remember that yeah is that right in the front yeah guy brought his own sign person I was like wow, that's pretty gangster guy was definitely wanted. To see comedies like hey, tell me what they're saying crazy was a really nice guy was that was a fun show he did cipher,

what he did, because it was that I was obviously a timing thing he didn't talk, but it was really funny really funny like you could tell the guy like really enjoyed, stand up comedy and even though he was deaf, you still understood like what interested jokes, it's going to be weird 'cause he's only getting it like two dementia right, you don't, if you don't hear it yeah man you're missing, so much like there's a lot of guys. Joey Diaz, perfect example of slash two of what money is how he sounds like on the way sounds, is fucking intense his voice? You know it's like when he when he hits those things when he starts screaming about something like huge screaming about its blue cheese with Buffalo wings or go fuck, your mother, it was just a fucking ranch dressing. He went on this rant about ranch dressing.

An on paper. It's like there's nothing funny about that at all. But if you hear him, if you hear joey- and you see him do it, it was one of the funniest fucking things ever seen. My passion deep, but I mean maybe this guy, had like a deep sense of his own timing. You know he could interpret it in the funniest way 'cause. He was obviously a fantasy Now me enough to hire his own sign language person. I've been it uh, college show once where they they made them have sign. Language was like part of the rules like if someone spoke they had to have someone there. I was wondered. How complicated is that sign language I mean it seems like it seemed really I was watching some parts of it because at one point when you were on, I walked around and sort of was watching from the side, ledge area, and I notice that when you said the word at one point, black cock, this guy had to do this thing where it was this giant like

right! Well, that's the strap on bit right. It was. It was something like that it was when you were taking questions at the end. It was like you were talking about Dennis Rodman's, talk or something like it was like very improvised, so the king Jong IL thing I was noticing this guy has to do this thing like that. Sign language is this: it's like so stereotypical like it's just giant in his hands were so far apart is like he was describing a tree stump or something like that with his hand, signing I'm like that's black cock in sign language. Isn't that hilarious, that's what they would come up with! That's the move! What yeah so blowjob is This I don't know why it's down. Why is it go down because you're always on your knees, but that's an awkward angle. How tall is this dude you blown that Insue would be out. I see you blowing a giant a child made sign? You know If so get on a chair as ridiculous angle.

They have that your standard angle for sucking dick that doesn't make any sense at all. Don't knock container thiet Timer for Angie you almost killed so the first time I see you, I just think it was brilliant. It was at the time was absolutely brilliant. Is the perfect time if at first you don't succeed, five, till you guys get a room, get a room, your fucks! room when we're in a San Francisco Sacramento and then share the room while you Shannon rooms, because this and get your own rooms you fucking weirdos are grown men, stop pretending like you're in high school, ok, get up to her daughter, going to go fishing and then get motel room together, shut the fuck up, dude, get your own room, God damn? What is it? Thirty dollars a night? You cheap, fuck, thirty dollars a night have you seen? The commercials will keep the light on for you,

Thirty dollars, Joe! We were talking about it on a recent podcast. I think you were there. Tony, I think was ARI. It was. He was talking about how funny it was going to the grocery store with you, because, like you'd be like I, you know how much is macaroni pasta. Sauce like you know, twenty dollars would do. Is we want to phase two dollars? I don't know when anything, because right I have a forever. Bravo always makes fun of it says that I would be the worst person ever on. The price is right because I literally don't know anything costs, so hey, there's only room enough. My fucking had for so much guess, there's no room for that. It's got no room for as long as p riding the streets over the price of toothpaste. They are, then I'll start paying attention. It's like I got shit to do. I can't be worrying about which it costs it's fairly reasonable, but I have friends that are like wealthy and you go a steak for thirty nine dollars to telling me that this steak cost thirty nine dollars like. Why is this steak dinner? It's just

what it, what are you doing? It's a number, it said: what does it even mean? What the fuck is it even based on to shut your mouth you're not broke, spend the thirty nine dollars you cheap, fuck, you Whining asshole yammering fucking perspective lap, douche bag. You know, get it together yet fuck. I want something real real person would that Morton Steakhouse Place wonderful place. Yeah I love it, and I was just in the mood was the only place near me that had crab legs and because I was just moon is inside Vegas. I've been thinking about this crab legs from Vegas and from nine yet from which is the most amazing things ever so I went there to get on. An a half pound was sixty like sixty five dollars, and that's a lot you get four legs is what it was, but did you watch that show with the dudes die, get on those fucking crab boats? No, I did it. That's why it's so much because it's really hard to get that's sword. World deadly, catch. This is what I was getting at then, the two days later I was thinking like that. I wanted more. I wanted,

so then I went to olive garden, and they had to wait. So I went to the place next door instead, which is like Outback steakhouse, and they in there and they had a pound for forty dollars and then you can add another half pound for fifteen bucks. So I cut a pound and a half for slash two for and it fries pretty much exactly the same. Exactly you could tell that it came out like when you pulled it out, it was like a little harder, I guess, you're, not as buttery and mushy as the other place, but still exactly so you think they just overcooked it. Maybe I think they were frozen. You could probably tell that. Well, I think they're all frozen quite honestly, because they're coming from Alaska It's much more because I was like all that place probably gets it yeah. Well, they just know how to fucking. Do everything right? There's certain places like Morton's is the one flemings, Fleming's Fleming's gold chain of those things. They just know what the fuck they're doing. Now it's actually work at Ruth's, Chris Steakhouse wait hold on a second.

I know what you said, but I thought I eat sexually worked at Ruth Chris Steakhouse. That's what I heard you say that I was like wait. What the fuck did he say in that place and then I realized it was a slurring or I used to. Actually I actually so, I think I used to actually answer think well. Well you ever! If you ever heard someone speak in another language that it'll just rattling off and you, if you don't know what they're saying you could never discern it is more than one word going on there. You don't know when one stops and another one ends that was example I used. Actually you know that's what is that? That's not a word. It's a good Jeff Dunham, better, something! No, not Jeff Dunham. What's his name, the might might be a redneck guy Fawkes rocks where the Jeff Foxworthy Doesn evident like like things, you would write down like dj

E. Eighty DJ, it's like you know there was like red redneck vocabulary. Have you ever seen show swamp people weather just alligator hunting Holy FUCK man. Only to buy alligator shit anymore? I I don't like alligators, so I buy like alligator skin things when I was a little kid alligator ate this latest dog and I never that I lived there lived in Gainesville Florida and there was a place called Lake Alice and there's alligators. You see him all the time and I didn't nothing other because nobody was scared until one of them ate this lady's dog- and I was like oh you, mother fucker, but when you Watch. These people are on these shows these alligator hunting shows. First of all, you only fucking alligators, there are 'cause. They are killed shit load of 'em. You know they have like a tag that they can fill.

Remember what the guy was saying, but it was like. I think it was like five hundred or something let's find out alligator tag limits in Florida. We didn't talk, how was being in Texas during all that fucking bomb shit and like fertilizer things and crazy crazy. We, we will miss the fertilizer thing 'cause. I was only there for one day, but that the bomb shit all of it is just the whole thing, is when it was something like that happens. It's so scary, you know Katie, I waitress Katie from the comedy store yeah her cousins. Like you look at this photo right here here The terrorist guy right here in the hat this is him dropping off the bomb, because this is the restaurant and he's walking the opposite way so that he must just dropped it off right there. Here's supposedly the kid that died, oh God hears her cousins all right over here and they all lost their limbs. Oh God

so they're they're, to have like a benefit show soon. That's just a crazy picture. 'cause it has. It all in all, together what the fuck man. No one knows what any motive. Yet the where we're at now in the the news, it's all purely speculation, because the brothers dead, the youngest brother is he got shot in the throat. Apparently the only way is communicating is writing things down. How is something I just understand and, of course, there's. A million people online that are shouting out false flag, false flag, the government trying to take our weapons and tighten down security and this what? Why that's? Why this is happening? Did you read the kids Twitter, like I stay as to what it was spooky, I don't see it that his to his twitter was really spooky is weird, it seemed normal then, but then he would throw in like little things like fuck the police and then or something like Mohammed, something I think, if you're going to

paraphrase a guy, his fucking murder, the least you could do is go to his twitter page. You lazy, fuck and actually read the nutty twisted the most stress free guy. That's what that was one of his tweets. That's why he said that he goes on mostly kind of a stress, free guy. This is, after he had blown people up allegedly, of course, this is the kid that survived the one. That's dead. There's all these disputes about what happened to him. Some people are saying the cops ran over him he's saying his brother ran over him, the thing sounds like, and people are crying out conspiracy, but one thing you have to realize about information whenever there's a tragedy or whenever there's anything. That's like really scary. Like this, you know this terrorist bombing, its people, panic and you get a whole bunch of different versions of the truth, and it's not a conspiracy a lot of times. It's just no one knows what the fuck is going on. Everybody is terrified,

and story spread very quickly like they thought at one point in time that one of the suspects was a missing university student from Brown. He was, I believe, is an indian young man and his family had been looking forward for like a month and they distributed this. Video and people are saying this is one of the suspects that this is what would happen become like a jihadist and left, but that wasn't true at all. By the morning we found out it was a totally different person, so this is now this wasn't like a conspiracy to like hide that information, and I think, that's really impor when when people are looking at events like this wait till the dust settles, don't just start, fucking called out conspiracy and calling out red flags and false flags saying that it's some you know, Nick

various thing going on whatever it is, is horrific, but jumping on the immediate conspiracy bandwagon. It's like man, that is one of the worst things for the cause of questioning things and if you ever wanted to be ago disinformation agent. What you do is the moment that anything happens, start yelling And screaming it's conspiracy and expose every single aspect of it that you feel is corrupt. That would be the best way for the government to protect themselves from any thoughts of being labeled. You know as being a part of a conspiracy because there's so many nutty people that do that with every single event that it's like they've cried wolf. You know yeah. I was so nervous with Greg Fitzsimmons at night because he was actually down there doing shows, and I I text him and he said that in the shows were cancelled, uses in his bed watching movies and shows are canceled that that one, I don't know if it was, was it Friday,

right. That was, he flew all the way down there yeah that was, it was crazy. On Friday night. I was what was crazy is how horrible CNN was there like an hour and a half b but then you like. Look that what hashtag Watertown gave me. It was just like guy, throwing grenades this happening. This happened was so insane reading that on it was also, it was amazing how censored everything was or delayed. It was on the news, like you, think you know that shit. You know people are going grenades and I mean that would be on the news immediately. You know, but they were just like talking like you know, we're still looking for this guy. It's incredible everybody's, a witness now and everybody's a cameraman there like what what's happening is you know, people on the street herb beat the news yeah because they're right there to every you. Also, don't get a filter, meaning you don't get anyone correcting it either. So it's interesting because you get you get, instantaneous news, but you don't get it vetted. You know it does

people, don't make sure that everything that's coming through his kosher, not to the new. I always get it gets it right. They don't and I guess it's better Do it that way where it eventually sorts itself out, but but people that would step in and sabotage that process and create this, like a government agency, could be pretty fucking successful it and that I think, and there's probably a bunch of people that are hired to do that shit all the time I've been accused of it myself, but I will tell you that is incorrect and I think, like in those Starsky and Hutch movies like when someone would say or tv show any any cop show they used to have to remember in the old days like some would say. If you're a copycat like when someone's undercover undercover cop members like there was a secret password, you got to ask him: are you cop yeah cop, yeah man, I'm too smart New Jackie Camp on his heroin, you know there was some magic word. I think that was a create.

Fiction. Yeah yeah, that's not change their. That's me yeah, but people always thought that it's a bit of it. You know, that's, that's, probably some this information. The cops put out there was an accusation. Recently, the d a put out a false paper about, them not being able to track people by using I message because Imessage over the internet, and so there like an article like a like a site like if you're planning to sell drugs like do it through my message, because the d A says it can't read it, and then you know the d a pressuring at but it turned out that was fake. There was like the da made that just get a bunch of assholes that are drug dealers, your dog, just I message me. I don't know what accent that is. If that's your nationality, I apologize. It was just part of the moment thing and it mean no disrespect, but you know like,

the DEA made. They put out fake news to trick dummy and using I message to sell drugs. It's good idea. It is it's very crafty, but it's one of those things where it gets to. The point of you know that's not total entrapment, that's just lying, but what happens when you have undercover people when you have undercover, people involved, those undercover people, Excella Coke, and then you arrest them. That's crazy, you know why it's crazy, 'cause, there's no real, okay, you're, not selling coke. You arrest him so, you're saying that they wanted to buy coke, but you weren't even really selling coke. You just got him to act through the moments, a good point. I never thought I'd talk through it. There was no coke to buy, there's no crime to commit, they might have thought they were going to commit a crime but there was no real coat. They don't really buy anything you're, not really selling anything. There was no real transaction to fake transaction you're playing, make believe and that's fucked up

because you're also trying to arrest people because the more BB arrest, the better your career looks so becomes a quantifiable thing. So you can talk someone into doing something. Illegal and then arrest them, and then it helps you, but that's crazy, because people talk people into sucking their dick people, white people into doing all sorts of stupid shit. They didn't really want to do. They just did because they got persuaded 'cause people could be persuasive so if you're, some crazy, sociopathic fuck. That just so happens to be an undercover cop, and you want to talk people into doing shit for you, so you can arrest them. We need to put you in a cage. Okay, you! get crazy, fuck yeah, Tony yeah, you saying I'm an undercover cop. No country could find out about that. The internet is one of the first we had to vet it, but we just figured we'd run it by you. First see how you react: Well, you know I have to tell you once you bring it up it, I'm an undercover cop. You know it's just the whole idea that they can

tend to buy drugs from you and then arrest you it's like what are you doing with it? Why don't you go get it? Stop! Stop that you're selling fake drugs, you're buying fakes, drugs. Stop it just cut the shit. Stop trying to trick people. Ok, easy catch me! You don't stop playing games, pretending to criminals. If you catch me, don't Jesus Christ. Can we be everybody to be a superhero, superheroes dump tend to be under covered drug lords and sell you fucking illegal guns, then arrest show yeah, I think, with the drugs that's good. I think they should keep doing that predator thing, though the drones know the particulars. Catch a predator, like dust in the guys that are trying to hook up with kids and stuff yeah. That's different, predator insurance got it okay, yeah, but even that you know what's what's that up about. That is like what, if you got like a really weak, dude and he's a profile and he's gone through, like you know, to counseling and he's got like all this. You shit that's heavy in his head, but he's going

figure out a way to never abuse again like he got out of jail and he's trying to go through counseling he's trying to straighten himself out and then along comes the fucking to catch a predator show and they this troll. His ass I don't know how they get people to get into their site and chat with them. She, like that. I don't know what those people say back. I don't know what they get to say back, but sometimes you know they have the kid being extra. Easy it is. Fucked up I'm having a party in Lincoln Cookies. Can you bring? You know sweet So, as always, sweetie have some sweet tea, something while sweetie makes you wanna suck dick. This is there's cookies on the table. I'll be right out then that what's his name comes dance and powerful Chris Hansen, how many crazy people is that guy man, do they still do that or no that show. I don't think so. I think they got in trouble. I think I don't see a lot of what they did. First of all, I think you have to get people to

sign releases to air that stuff. I don't know how they got anybody to sign. A release me not really considered news. Maybe is that I don't know, I mean how did they do that, if you really, they probably cover their costs through lawyers? What if they really yeah 'cause it's worth. It did them to have it just totally speculating alasani know better than anyone Why don't we look that up real, quick? Let's say how to to catch a predator? What do you think I should google? How did you catch predator, get them to sign waivers sure, watch what what you, Google man that in your right, yeah no kidding right, hey what was up with you in the Google glasses man. I saw of Taylor. Hello, just call me honey, honey, honey sweetie by how did kids when I get them to sign waivers yeah. You can like get in trouble for like looking,

too much in to catch a predator, but when he tried to avoid being busted in them. I was thinking about that the other day like how do you even know what's going on, if you can't do all certain things like I was thinking of looking up like how to make a bomb just to see if that's out there like nobody knows if that's out there, if you don't google and everybody's afraid to Google, it makes sense. Yeah yeah. Did you do it? No, I didn't. I don't want anything to happen, which is why I think I left an impression. I will you know something I was curious about. I wish there was a thing you could Google, where it's like. I don't know, you just don't get it, but it seems like any crazy. Could I don't know the internet's power? The scariest thing about shows like to catch predators. You see that these guys are like broken Now you see there like horrified when they get caught. You see. They know that it's fucked up. It's not like the Is remorseless cold, incenso

unfeeling? You know, they're, not scared. When they get caught these guys fault part, it could get see their horrified at who they are. It's really it's scary, scary, to say: 'cause, it's like a glimpse into madness. You know that Guy Chris Hansen guarantee you now. This sounds like some hippie bullshit, but being around people that are that fucked up on a regular basis, and broadcasting them and paying your bills based on broadcasting them and All- and I mean it under the guise. I guess you're pulling these people off the street and that's always a good thing. Well, you know what happened to him right. What was it is that he got caught cheating on his wife or something like that big media thing. Now he got with the camera, he was with the bone bone mean he look. I don't know what the fuck that guy's marriage was like you know. I don't want to crack on the guy for that

I think there's a big difference between that and you know. Of course you know some bucket child, some consensual. Shit he did with Secretary whoever right that freak is. I hate him for that, but it's being around all those people that were kid fuckers man. That's going to wear on your soul, it's going to wear in your soul that just even see these people over and over again and being in their presence when you know most of them, Probably I mean I guess this isn't the first time I would. I would assume this isn't the first time they probably already had sex with young kids already. So you watch that it's just it's it's just it's really. It's going to be a really depressing view of the world, and it is only so many different things you can expose yourself too

twenty four hour time period and you got you know three hundred and sixty five of those twenty four hour time periods in the year, and you got one hundred of those years. If you keep your shit together, but most likely no and you're going to spend time, in around pedophiles all the time and it's one thing if you're and that's your job pulling off the street, but I don't not exactly sure what good it does. Making a show out of that? You know, I mean except scare them got. Everybody make us aware, but I feel like you know how can I mind them being outed 'cause? It's such a heinous crime against humanity, but man. It seems like a fucked up thing to broad I asked you know it's like what do we want to concentrate on it's one thing to like work on a cleaning that up, but as a piece of entertainment, programming, you're, gonna, you're gonna concentrate on someone who wants to victimize children and you're, just gonna focus on that a lot. I think it was a hit because you know they're the ultimate bad guys. You know you're looking at the villain of all villains right, you might have

fucked up your own life is right right, nobody's lower than a child molester everybody can go fucking piece of shit. That fucking p is beyond the couch. Picking your fat toes smoking, a cigarette juice. You there just can dry skin on your toes and just drop it on the floor, this mother piece of shit. I hope he rots. I hope he rots in jail death is too good for him. I hope he rots in jail. You know what they do to child molesters. They get him in there. This person is fucking, wretched, stupid human being is barely an ape. I get the shit on this child molester feel better at voiced, grosses me out that Boston, lady, I feel bad

I'm going to do it from Boston. Boston is in a bad position right now. Oh just don't you know this Boston thing, women, one of things that is fascinating, is that they like there was a thing about how they weren't going to read him his rights and then, ah this you know this thing about how whether or not they were gonna. Try him as an enemy combatant or try him as a civilian. It's really fascinating that that's becoming like a really issue. You know the way they decide to approach it like. Is this guy American that we're gonna try as an American, you know or someone when someone with some commits any form of terrorism? Are? They are the instantly just out of the club, or do we try him as one of us you know? Is it a? Is it a war thing? Are we at war, how we gonna, how we gonna go forward in this yeah? It's interesting to

it's interesting. The way we label things. You know it's interesting, okay, any conspiracy, theory, aside, that all these nutty ideas that are floating around one thing we know for sure there was bombs that a person put in place that killed a bunch of people that didn't do anything wrong and. We have to figure out how the fuck that happens, and I know that sounds super simplistic, but as a human as a species, that's evolving. Clearly as we were talking about the Mongols earlier and like what they used to do one thousand years ago, our most heinous acts pale in comparison to those of our ancestors. But when something like this happens, you realize that people are

still capable of such embarrassing ruthless stupidity, arrogance and just horrific insensitivity towards their fellow man. The idea that you could just take a bunch of people. You don't know and kill him and may moment just you just were in the wrong spot at the wrong. Time and I got a message and there's only one thing that gets people to do that folks by the way and it's an ideology right, it could either be a religion or it could be a cult or it can be The you know some group. Do you belong to that sworn allegiance to a certain code or set of rules, but that's the only way you get people to do shit like that, they. Don't have an ideology: they just don't do that doesn't make sense.

No evolutionary benefit to doing that other than pleasing a group of other. Like minded psychopaths someone, you have to be amongst a group of people that have very specific beliefs that, above all, let's take precedent so that you're willing to put your humanity aside for your crazy believes in it completely irrational display of destructive power and that you can kill innocents that only from ideology and we get really lost. We start talking about religious freedom and religion, and you know, and atheists are guilty of this. Just as much as really religious people are because, whether you call it

being a Muslim. What do you call it being a Buddhist? What do you call it being a vegan? What do you call it being a Christian when you call a bee in a Republican? Would you call it being a Democrat with a call? You call it being a passive. When you lock yourself in anything, you become a part of something. That's almost been decided for you, you, into a pre arrange set of opinions on things, and some of them are batch, that fucking, crazy and just like Mongols, gotta hunt two thousand mother fuckers to row come across Russia in Europe and China and slaughter millions of people. You can't do that unless you got a cause, you can't do that unless you're part of a group, you can't do that unless your group is separate from the other groups.

And the only way that ever works is just someone's gonna talk you into that. You got to be a part of something, and with this kid apparently was a user user. You know the one they're saying that it he was pretty radical religious young man. Now, whether or not that's true who knows yeah it has to be, it seems to be the one thing that all these people have in common yeah. Well, I think the false flag people are thinking that, like somebody gave them all this stuff and that they were talked into doing it, and then it was a plan to road civil liberties that they would sacrifice a few Americans and clamp down on laws this is this really is classically what military leaders have been doing since the beginning of time. You know like we're talking about armies in

past would actually sacrificed soldiers and slaughter them so that the rest of the people could eat. You know they would cannibalizing cells. That was they. They had a talk. Somebody into doing something like that. You know the first times many. Does that super awkward yeah? It's you know it's it's hard to believe that in this day and age, with the like, if you look at like how amazing humans are capable of being, you know, like here's, a perfect example Oprah now I know Brian doesn't like my love for bro. I loved that you wrote for low price Ryan Higa, but, it's an honest appreciation for what she does because Oprah, like you know, I had a friend who worked for like man she's like super dlp is weak. Bitch Bailey an hour and how the fuck you going to try to be a stand up. Comedian can't even go two hours without peeing

My friend was like he worked for and he was like wow she's like intense. You know, you know she's like really. She has an idea what she wants and she gets it done and he was like. I think it's probably intimidated by it too, because he was working for, but like stop and think about how much night that. Lady does like that. Lady is like so nice. All those women that come to her show they feel great. Everybody leaves positive, I was reading this thing. The other day on give energy and that there was some sort of a study that actually show the negative energy is contagious. If you find out if you've, if you hang around people that are negative in it, it doesn't just affect you when you communicate with them and becomes a part of the way you communicate as well, it becomes contagious and one like super aggressive, contagious negative person can actually affect like a company. I think That's why it's important that I mean companies have been really focused on that. I think ones that are really of the social structure within the organization, they want to make that you don't get like

really negative downer type person any sort of a role, because if you get them, you know that they can really fact like if there specially. If you had some guy like you working on a big project, you know someone guy who's leading it needs a douche bag and everybody shows up ah there's very few things in life. Worse than being stuck like working the job that stocks with a boss who's an asshole. Why we're all bosses mostly asshole who is hiring people. If I look back at all the jobs I've ever had it. The majority like they were? Where is the assholes? They were never the people you hung out with or wanted to hang out with. You know, they're always there. I was a terrible employee, so I think any time ah boss got mad at me. I totally deserved deserved. It grows a shitty. I did a shit job mowing lawns. When I was you know long, landscape,

remember the card guy hired me, I fucking scalp his lawn. I didn't know how to work a lawnmower. I lied just so you get the job like my friend did it and you said you could do it easy? It's no help in some part, but it was hard, the first did it was kind of hard to figure out. These are old, shitty lawnmowers. You know, and I scalp the shit out as long as I could hate mowing. Don't you hate it? torture, it's not it's not easy. When I was in high school, my friend Chris. He, the one of things about Boston, about growing up in Boston. Boston is like a really in G like they. They have a lot of ingenuity, there's a lot of like people get shit done this like a strong work ethic there like clearly way stronger work ethic than I ever experience here in California, like people are so used getting up in the morning car out from the snow there used to shit like it's a different

kind of like there's a different kind of like mentality there you know, and if you grow up there, you go african. What we were talking about, that I had an example. What we're talking about just before that boss? Yes fuck, I had a point and I completely lost it and trying to figure out why it is damn it. You can take your after brain today, I didn't. I took it, but not until right before the show. Fuck mowing lawns Oprah: no, no! No! It's passed over dude. It was the mowing lawns things about. Oh my friend, Chris okay, when I was in high school. This is what it was when everybody else was like you know, a job at like Papa GINO's and shit. I was like making spaghetti and it was like pretty easy boy job. This kid had, a lawnmower empire.

He had a landscaping empire had a brand new car. He had people working for him. He had lawns that we're going while he was at school. He had guys working for they were cutting lawns wise at school and he come home and he go and work till night time and then show up for work. The next day he always had new sneakers on he was like grown man by the time we were seventeen, this fucking kid I I'd, never been around more people. That made me feel like a lazy bitch. There was, Any dudes, like my friend Jimmy that I used to let Jimmy to tell you this guy, like he had from the time he was in high school, yet his own electrical business. He worked for after a little while started, doing work on the side by the time we got out of high school to do is get his own business he's just bustin ass, one thousand and twelve hours a day driving around like a maniac you're around people like that you you develop. That sort of you know that sort of tenacity that exists

like not a lot of spots in this country, you know- and I think that dealing with like environmental conditions, there's something about that. That's why people from New York tend to be funnier. You know people from Boston tend to be funnier, 'cause they're dealing with so much bullshit all the time. How would definitely and Kim trails it definitely think we're coming up with that were raised- has a lot to do with that type of crazy factor of your communication. Skills really think it's down to like small talk. If the city that you're raised in a row, means alot, you're, going to end up having to talk with your friends more or if it snows a lot, if it rains a lot, if it's a windy city things like that. True, going to be endorsed. More really apply socially for sure, right, yeah in California, could sleep outside and live right. Hi hi got drunk Tom. Hardy didn't talk to

sports while smoking cigarettes, that's it don't you think that Ohio of today growing up in the same place where you grew up would be very different because the internet, because kids growing up with the internet, be a lot more tolerable. That's for sure, yeah right, yeah, yeah, that's a a totally different world. Now the whole world, all sudden got lights, turned on everywhere lights, turned on in the new start, showing up all the information started flowing, whereas before you rely local newspapers and Fucking tv news bitch how the fuck did you what was going on. I don't know anybody know what was going on back then man. How did anybody know so? I think they're saying that there's like certain laws that apply to pedophiles. That's why those guys were allowed to be put on that show and there's a reason why they quit the guy killed himself while filming it. Suspects, somebody tweeted well, if they were being honest when they say good riddance week show it,

are they trying to get rid of predators are trying to catch him? It's not it's bad. If they commit suicide. Well, we all God's creatures even the ones that fuck kids, I mean. What is that? That's ridiculous, why they got sued for one hundred and five million why don't they just come clean and give the guys a gun on the show, and go listen. Sir, is a bullet in that gun? Put it up to your head, fuck this trial, and that would be, will pay for your funeral and will you know just watch reality and then, as soon as he blows, his brains out go site film it get a close up on him. Where were out just get out of there. Just leaving there put on tv knows going now

The the the cops goes to NBC in the in a bring him in for questioning look. You saw what happened: okay, folks, kids, again my gun, okay, we're going we're good here, right, yeah! Would that be illegal? I would say yes express if you got in a gun, permit hello food it's really depends on the gun law? Maybe you could do it if you gave him the gun and said whatever you do. Do not shoot yourself in the head right now on tv, Gavle smile, a wink! There was this weird comic at the at the store last night. Do you remember this target? There was some norwegian comic that I did something for Michael Jackson or something, but he had this huge Wikipedia that that just goes but how brilliant this guy is and how much money did he write? His own Wikipedia is one of those, but I mean so is connected to or like a lot of these tv shows and stuff, but anyways his wife comes up to me. Goes hey fat man come here

and I was right in front of and she was and to tell me that she wanted it that that he has. A nice house appeared, he will pretty much was trying to get me to come back to them, how their houses for origin, for it is what it seems like she wanted. You both probably what they feel like Hollywood's about right, yeah news like if I am going to make it too. If you have to give up the listen, we need urges all the time. Norway only way to make it as comedian. So weird yeah, that's that's pretty odd story there and then, and then she showing me these photos in her phone she's like look at their parties. We have an it's just like her in this uh, girl like she's, a comedian she's, the wife of the ones, just like going around the whole place like bragging about her

and how many million yes, she was very cute, but this guy look like a bear, and you know when the bigger guy with the suit. That's like four sizes to snow were probably both CIA in guys are going to slowly worked. There is slowly going to make it into the organization they've they're. Looking into this whole death squad thing like with his desk, we have to worry about them. That's what you you you're, the guy that I wanted to take up there and show them bug you and hit you with some fucking, some hypnosis Europeans, just they just don't have like normal sex, is going to be some manchurian candidate type to this is going to happen. Cia do is going to drop in an pill in his drink. That's silly bitch will be hammered, will drink anything he sent his way. You know what all the waiters that lady that drives around in that pink corvette yesterday What's my my excuse me last week this was my.

Point that I see her maybe once a week and it's always random places like I'll see in Hollywood. Hollywood wants us here a lot around here, but like that just tell people she is, She used to be like a rich wife. I guess that would post photos or these billboards, like all over just kind of promoting her, and don't think she really had well, that's one way described yeah. I don't think she really had anything going. She just had a lot of money to play with, and so she pretty much made seemed like she was a big deal when she really wasn't chooses a rich wife, yeah. Well, the billboards with these giant bill would say Angeline on them in like big letters like whoa, it's Angeline and she's. This really pale lady with giant tits, and she looks a little odd like she looks like like really like photoshopped like really like brightly lit, like it's really, to discern like key features, because she's, apparently she's very old, and when I came LA in ninety four, she had big billboards all around town like several of them

that said, Angeline it was just her and then her management's number it was her in their underwear is really hot yeah, kind of crazy because you know she was. She had a really nice body. I guess yeah but look at the daily do that yeah! It's like. What's her face Dolly Parton, yeah, but by the time she was doing this I mean who knows how old she was in that picture, but the one that you see today bears no resemblance yeah. I had no idea who she was and we were shooting something at Hollywood and Highland one night in that crazy, like area and all of a sudden. She put up and people were like, oh my god, there's angelene and it it took. I had no idea who this was and it took like four people twenty minutes to be able to explain to me what the big thing with their well, I think she's, but in LA she's, like a icon, yeah she's, only sixty years old, at least, and she still dresses like she's, like

yeah. I've seen her several times under what she wanted. She wanted to be an actress or like what I don't know. Is this good? interesting marketing campaign, but what's really it is. Is that how much I sear? And that's like one of the the car's where you're like? Oh that's, her, that's her! That's her like how many times you actually drive by people, you probably know and drive around the same cars that just so we how small LOS Angeles actually is you will in that sense? And you know it's also like the spots that she had to the spot you're out, like I said I just sort of a coffee bean yeah, there's that's what she looks like now: yeah yeah. This is yeah I'm sure she's, a nice lady. Do it no hate but Wouldn't do that I mean look man, nothing wrong some being that know that, so she is she's fabulous. Let it go get it fuck this low kitty right here,

put that away. The whole thing away is a grandmother. Man show some respect well, she's, mother or grandmother, but you know that whole wanting to be famous thing. So strange thing she was like one of the original reality stars. She created her own reality show by just putting up billboards a reality show became our life. You know, no one was filming it, but her life was a reality. Show you know I know she was. I knew she was a couple years after living here, so I've known who she was since 90s, six ish, ninety seven ish Wow- I remember when she pull up. She had her face some kind of like kind of asian fans and shoot his mysterious yeah whoa. Yeah, that's a that's a strange strange world. We live in my friends, man. If I was a porn star, hot chick porn star, I would buy a pink corvette and be her new competition. Oh, that would be so

you call yourself, angelone, yeah or Angelina. That's a good idea, though 'cause I mean that's how she got her. Attention is saying that you know the mother angelene. Maybe you could have like your whole thing was about like how you get a rich husband, who allows you to freelancing your porn career and that you know that would be the whole thing said. The husband has no idea what's going when he comes home waters happening in here. Who are these guys and you gotta explain while they were tag teaming you you got to say you know it was all so I could get better with you honey. I just they're they're, not tag teaming me. They're teaching me this

it's very controversial. I should've been this not going anywhere. Have you ever been with a girl that you're just completely haunted about like that you think about like even after it happened? It was like why the fuck did idea that this part of being drunk, so part of being drunk. That's the beauty of life. If you didn't have those stories, then you wouldn't have those awkward moments and if you have didn't have those awkward moments you wouldn't have. Some really hilarious shit, to talk about when everyone else is drunk as well, and they can understand what you're saying that's. Why drunks have the best stories, the being drunk drunk stories when they could just really cut loose and be free and not worried about it? I have friends from in the Boston days were the best stories when they're, drunk and in somewhere along the line, those fucks become alcoholics, anonymous people.

All the stories stop feeling I'm going to start getting in alcoholics anonymous soon, just being at the comedy store going that comedy club so much you just have to fucking drink me and tony battle with his almost every single night where were like, have you got a drink? It yeah? You know I mean you know what's interesting about, you know it's like either the nights going great and you want to drink to sell great, where fucking boring boring and you want to drink to have more fun. It's like there's, never number to time. Where just like in the middle, like I just that's yeah, if you do it every night, the show the really can wear on you. I'm very lucky because on my end of it I'll sometimes only have one slash: two a drink or one drink, because I'm very little and I'm very reactive, and so how many beers did it take to get you fucked up two and one slash two. Probably

two one slash two beers in your fucked up three I'm fucked up three- and I just decided to tell a story that I wasn't sure if I was going yeah. I normally don't get to my third drink until pretty late. Oh really, that's funny! Yeah! That's weird! How much do you weigh probably about one hundred and twenty seven right around there and if you think about a beer is what a pound where yeah, I guess so I'd say one of the soul of Jack Daniels. Fucks me up Essentia Lee you get to like one percent of your body weight fairly quickly, one percent body weight in beer. Oh that's interesting! Yeah! Would you say what about Jack Daniels with I've gotten to the point where I think one

so Jack Daniels will fuck me up shut up son, you fucking starts learn when you open the cap, learning slurring and being alive, I'm talking about like bleeding from the liver until they expire yeah. It's interesting that no one's figured out a way. Thio create the effect of alcohol without the horrific effects to your fucking body. With this Gina my way works, you could just get down to one hundred and twenty seven and just sip on a drink on along feel great or black out every night, because you keep forgetting the only way. A hundred twenty six thousand. Now right, like you measure like a guy like Tate, what take could well, he has drank, but in his prime, this big guy, you know the guys to put away more, like Joey. Charlie could put away some folk and blues bad either when Joe a joint, barely ever drinks. But when he does, he always gets the most. For should

strings, it's so cute like you'll, get like. I got an orange creamsicle good man, that's why you know people like Pina, Coladas and shit you getting fucked up. Some folks only allow them that on when they're on vacation, but men when when men are drinking, they wouldn't mainly shit when they want something that just makes a new. Oh yeah right talking about I'm drunk right now I have a long night of drinking, don't be a pussy, so you saying you would rather drink with them then drink with us. No, nobody! How you! How dare you? Let me know if you have 'cause, I'm pretty hungover right now. Well, I'm about to go watch a fucking, UFO documentary, so I'm fixing it I've only eight KEN water. Today, I'm not really big on watching UFO documentaries, while sober there's, a spreadsheet is going to go wrong. This Jamban just showed me that there's a spray that gets you instantly drunk for a few seconds, wow that sounds awesome, seems super healthy.

You should give give that yourself right before you leave the house. How long does that last uh just five seconds? Is it like some whippets type shit? No, I don't know what it is. It's ah one spray release his ten dot. Seventy five outcome, Oh get you drunk legally, you to legally drunk, show me that they got some. Sportscaster, some sportscaster got pull over for is it Michaels. I got pulled over and he was on the limit. It was at the limit eight and nine happens there when you're out here a thing: don't you first have to do the drug test. You know like you walk goodbye Funan! Then if you fail that, then you have to do it. He obviously I guess, showed signs that he can't do. You know balance on one

foot you know well, not necessarily they might have just asked him and he said he would take. The task is only had one drink. That's what he's saying he's saying he only had one drink. I think I read that note. You know what that's what the I'm! Sorry, that's what wreaths Witherspoon's husband said: I got the wrong drunk, he said, but the Al Michaels guy he tested on the limit and he's a fucking man's man he's a fucking sportscaster. You tell that guy doesn't know how to drive. When is a little tipsy he's an oh wait. Let him go you pussy, don't you appreciate a good game of hockey being called, the maestro and he let him go it's not like you're letting go of criminal, eight road drinker, that's a process, traffic in Hamilton, who is a baby yeah, eight, the fuck out of here, what a pussy society we have that's, not drunk Okay, if he's drunk yeah for sure arrest, am asshole, that's ridiculous people driving around drunk or ask

but people driving around that are barely buzzed at eight. Come on. How do I know that your body functions as good as mine does when I'm drunk how 'bout that your real sometime. How good is your? How do I know you're, not a dullard, with with a slow right foot can't get to that broken time. Group. Remember. Will you know maybe Al Michaels could still even it whenever he is seventy and still do a solid two step? Is that breaking like a champ not saying you should drive drunk, I'm just saying what eight it's like a drink right, yeah, pretty close. Yeah. I would like to see what uh oh eight guide looks like performing stuff I would like to see him go through that. I would like to I'm sure he I don't know when he's calling the super bowl, you know what I mean right. You know you know one that doesn't count though here's another thing, though, is the adrenaline that you get when you get pulled over. I would have imagine that would have some sort of a recuperate if effect like, if you're a little little drive

little shitty 'cause you're kind of hammer you get pulled over and it might jolt you into a position where you could possibly perform the test a little better than you could be. But it's not going to make you less drunk right. So it is still in a weight if you blew it yeah. I think it's just entirely too low to blanket that that's considered a d. U I because I mean you know if you go out to dinner and you have a drink like a margarita in the bartender like pours it stronger than normal. Are you saying that just having one margarita with dinner, you should go to jail, and you know get all these things on your license, that you think you know that you're gonna run into plow into a school of children like I don't buy that I think. That's, I think. That's I don't know, I'm not a big. I think it needs to change. I think that's a dosage issue where you're talking about is a dosage issue and that they really should get in trouble. If they're doing that, I mean people don't want to. Get in trouble with good ago this place, they got the stiffest drinks. You really

Let people know what the fuck you're serving them and if your serve some some margarita, that's got twice the alcohol in it you're trying to get customers that way. You could fuck someone. Up if they know exactly how they usually rocket. You know they have this thing, I'm good for one margarita and then I back the fuck off and then I get home and I'm fine and then so the guys hammer driving, only doesn't know what happened. This you say essentially like doubled, his dose yeah, I'm just saying it's way too low thank me yeah, but not if I see your point definitely, but I'm not convinced I don't have any data I want to see a guy who's at a eight go through all that shit. Is it based on percentage? You are at your fines too. I don't know you know I want to do it I want to. I will not give you ice together. No, no! I don't want to drive drunk that's one thing. I've been really careful about my entire life. I think it's really important to. To be safe, when you're operating a vehicle, I mean the idea that you would operate a vehicle with your body, all fucking half there. That's so scary to me it's so

Jerry to be the driver. It's so scary, thinking, there's so many people out there that are doing it, it's so selfish and stupid. But I think that I would to find out what it feels like to be at eight and do you know any of those tests any of those. I linear wanting like what is it like say, like you know, I'm not gonna drive but get me to the limit. Give me a breathalyzer, say: okay, you're at eight now whether it's three draw, or two drinks and now make me do your stuff. I want to know what it feels like. You can buy a breathless and it was only to do it, but I don't want to do it because I don't want to do and I'm I definitely don't want to drive right, but I would like to drive in a course. I would like to go on it worse and see like, get me to nine, and let me see what I can do. I think you're going to be surprised how exactly normal you're gonna be feeling I wonder why I wonder, because I've been drunk and as of you, I wonder I wonder what it's like to do at that but then again like telling people that

eight or nine is the limit means that's prob, really where most people who are now in the best shape or don't have the best tones for alcohol where they start to falter. So, If you make in a public policy, that's probably a good idea to do it. On the conservative side. You know Anthony Cumia have fun. Funny thing was talking about like it should really be based on your tolerance, and they should have like a license. That indicates your tolerance, but that shit changes too 'cause dude start falling apart. Yeah you have to just okay, license tests are taller. It's just want to win so incredibly irresponsible to tell people they can drink more right. You know hold the tell people the legal limit, as is there, you could drink a little more who they just fucking green lights. On Shaka Laka, Laka Laka,

dollar. Select me boy. I got tolerance like I mean think about my friend Justin. He is a perfect example. You know my friend Justin said that seven foot tall dude, my friend Justin's, like a legitimate giant his enormous and if you go drink for drink, then you're going to die you're going to die you're, not the same species as him he's a completely different human being. So so it's like a dog next to a cat. It's not the same size, pretty sure it's Andre, the giant actually have drinking record serious. I think he has the There's a drinking record. I think there's a free and lawyers wow wow, but he was you know, he's like he's like what seven foot something he was enormous yeah. This in a few giant since then that got in mixed martial arts, this guy giant silver. He was like a legit giant and he fought in pride and then there's Antonio Bigfoot Silva, and that guy, I think I'm saying I think, I'm saying giant silver. I think that's his name.

I apologize, there's a big giant guy with crazy shaggy here and then there's another guy, semi shelties like seven feet tall, and I think he's just a huge guy. I don't think he has gigantism. I think, he's just an enormous, regular human, but you would just imagine the kind. I can't read that, those little time you ever see a picture of a little tiny beer can in his hand, yeah to Tracy to trip. To hold the beer can's hands, like you hold on those little kids apple juice, is one that come in lunch boxes. This is that they estimated that he drank where seven thousand calories everyday and booze alone, I wouldn't be shocked that they have this app there. The number with I know it's like a decisive thing. Well, I want to see the picture of his

and because it's so silly, you know rowdy Roddy, Piper started coming by the comedy store a couple years ago and once in awhile till swing in and he's friends with a few of us, there, yeah man he's so great it hanging out and telling stories one and one of the stories that he told us was about Andre. The giant. Thirty was because you know it because they did the road together for a decade or whatever right, and he talks about how the one time that they were at a bar and there were these college kids like hey, you know, fuck, you Andre the giant put their drinking beers in that one time. A kid drinks he throws the empty can at the back Andre, the giant said, and you guys don't do that again and then later on, he takes an empty can and he throws it at the back onto the giants head and then in the future. Oh, my god and they all run outside running away from

play, the giant who got up and is now chasing them and they all got in their car all at once, but Andre caught up to the car before it drove away, and you just flipped- he picked up the queen. Did you hear the story? Rowdy Roddy, Piper, really yeah. It's be a true story too. Even if it's not let him tell it eyes in that picture. Hilarious though him holding a beer. Can I mean it's like a little bait? It's like you, never see like a little kid's refrigerator set, have a fake refrigerated. That's what looks like one hundred and nineteen years in six hours. God that's what he drank. He drank. How big was that guy? What was this height and weight? Seven foot one. It wasn't just tall. He was in was enormous God, damn. Something between six hundred and eleven seven five and over five hundred pounds, and then I also saw sometimes SIRI how fucking the measure right

the problem with that is wrestling. They lie. You know six, but on eleven three thousand pounds of twisted steel they lie They just make guys like bigger, but that guy was like legitimately enormous in real wrestling match. He would beat everybody. I also heard a thing that that big body slammed it was like from the big Wrestlemania two or Hulk Hogan body, slams, the ultimate bad guy, Andre, the giant, and it's like you could tell Andre the giant jump. Then do it with all his might in Hogan's. Just trying to yeah. He he needs to do is go like that, so meaning that he could even hold 'em up. Then he said that when he did that he could feel every disc in his back just go up up up up up up up up Hulk, Hogan yeah, and then he laid down Andre the giant, and he was just so glad that that was the end of the match because he ruin his back in yeah this back is fucked up now, right, okay, said surgery. All these are

warriors because they were doing it every night in sold out arenas. People don't realize it right. They had to put on a show. They were going nonstop and like even Piper just like six or seven months ago. He was by the store he would come in like once in awhile every few days for just then anyway, he kept going all my shoulder store, my shoulder, so I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday. I still worked out for four hours today, but my shoulder. So he end up finding out the technically broken his neck, a broken neck and the doctors like it's, not your shoulder, it's your neck and it's broken, and so it was like, probably pinching a nerve and there was hurting his shoulder. But yeah he's just thes, guys, they're, so tough in real life that um to hit a social yeah. What did people give a fuck about wrestling anymore? Oh yeah, they still there right. It's still.

Popular unbelievable. There keep seeing like cm punk and all these people, and these pictures and videos is that most people don't know this, but like Monday night Raw, for example, which is the premier weekly show someone's a wrestling fan, but it's been number one on one. It's held Monday nights ever how much fuck do you know this and why the fuck do you know this is what I'm saying What's going on when I think when I was a kid I was in, there read like a less all right and then I grew up in English. Yeah can't believe you went there me too, and I still like wrestling still as few Baqir dude stop being an I don't. I haven't watched wrestling. What you're doing is cyber bullying right now. No I'm just I'm. I've been giving him a hard time for because they all had like a wrestling party, and I was like what the reason we get. Our money got wrestlemania any as a giant screen, and it's funny too. You know we all do guys take your clothes off. Yes, did you reenact the moves with lube? Yes, hey? What do you say

about this Cispa thing. The bill that passed the house fucked out crazy scary, you guys don't know about the House of Representatives passed which is the cyber intelligence sharing and Protection ACT by a two hundred and eighty eight to one hundred and twenty seven vote and it's the idea is supposedly that it's meant to enhance national security by facilitating sharing of electronic information between, like this quoted between, say, a private company and the government is a story from mediate dot com and the way they describe it is that if the Gov like say if a private company in the government deemed threatening the bill's opponents maintain it'll, make sharing of personal private information far too easy. So this Yes, the idea is what is

is that the main, the main idea about behind this bills that they're gonna be ableto, see every website you've ever visited every web. Site will have will be able to share the information of different people that have gone to? Is that what it is? You know I have no idea what exact specific thing is, but yeah. It seems like that's what I was talking about, but isn't connected, He vetoed by obama- I don't know because he didn't have, but he didn't veto the Nda. You know I mean, and a bomb out is a whole areas, kind of situation because he's a super intelligent, he's, half black

he's, you know from a single parent household, but he still like votes just like the Republicans d'oh, and he still does stuff that the Republicans did like it's really strange. I was like if he was a white guy. People would be fucking furious if he was a white guy of privileged background and he made the choices he's made as far as like bailing out the banks. As far as passing the Nda not vetoing in all these different things that have and the drones all these different things that have happened while he was in office. If he was a white guy of privilege, he would be getting crucified. It's fascinating! It's almost like the perfect plan like if you for military strategist and you're. Trying to take over the company would do it with a situation like that. You wouldn't just go, get some super elite, rich guy, you would get. Some

guy, who you would associate automatically with progressive, liberal sensibilities, and then you do all that creepy shit right under everybody's nose, that's really interesting

is this big slogan was changed, I'm thinking back on it! Now it's like! Well, you changed a little. The drone attacks went from fifty upto like three hundred changed a lot in Pakistan. It's not funny, but fuck man. I don't know it's. Ah, it seems like if, if he really could change things, if you really could like influence this society and how is the time to do something, you know, instead of just these speeches, sort of reactionary speeches dealing with each and every issue, whether it's sandy hook or whether it's, whether it's? Ah, this Boston thing like. I wonder what, if anything, could be done to sort of enact a like

change in in a culture of please for for a change in a culture, and if anybody could do that, it's gonna be the president. You know, and the president addresses he does these national speeches where he addresses policies, and he addresses now national affairs as far as security affairs and and then threats in various things along those lines. But with this country suit really means they need of what a different not not a different person but a different mantra. We need a new way of looking at things. We need a speech. We need something that people believe and we need an. I have a dream that I I have a dream, Martin Luther King speech to this day. That shit resonates no one's doing the eye a dream. Today, everyone

is doing the we're all going to get along and change and hope- and you know and make more affordable and health care for everyone and gay marriage- a butt. No one has a speech about uniting humanity. And getting us to understand that our lives really are truly. Only better when people around us lives are better as well and that United, the enough resources for everybody, there's enough love for everybody, there's enough enough health for everybody. There really is it's just The current system, in the current ideology that we have is not based on the reality that an expiring life form, and then we have a temper time here on this planet and waste it not being aware of the full. Reality of the situation, is a shame and a guy like Obama has the opportunity to do that, but He doesn't ever say anything like that

he never says anything that really inspires people to look at it in a completely different way. He never says anything like. I think you have to if you're, in a position to be the fucking President United States is that's a mission. Very few human beings ever get to reach, I mean, maybe he will when he's leaving, maybe will once he leaves. Maybe you can't when you're there I mean who knows maybe it really is an incredibly restrictive environment and he has no room free ball in no room to go out kind of what they want him to distribute his policy. I don't know I mean I don't know what the situation is like, but if this world ever needed, someone to speak up and someone to just make some fuckin sad someone to make some sense in and not talk politics. You know not talk religion,

talk to manatee, not talking nationalistic, not talk, the conflict just make some sense. Well, I guess this is that you know this. This same bill was vetoed last year by the way the White House and- and it looks like you know just when those things that just poorly written and everyone knew it was a type thing. So so was the Indy a unfortunately passed really hard through Congress. That thing is it didn't pass his heart in Congress, the first time? Well, I think that a lot of thing about it this morning a lot of the way the government set up and I'm obviously not an expert on government, but I know that a lot of the way it's set up is that you know we have representatives, and you know we can't all be there, while policies being dictated so our representatives go there and they make sure that everything represent their constituents. But clear be a better way to do all that is the internet anybody need to be phased out.

The majority of politicians that are involved in making laws you could face those. I can get all new jobs. You know, have you seen house of car No, how is awesome this show shows you what's actually happening in. Washington, from the real tv show somebody made up. It's unbelievable, owes you, you realize what they're, what they're dealing with what they're actually doing- and it's all just it's. Is it awesome? It's all just deals that shows unbelievable. I mean Kevin Spacey already is a bad mother phone breaks, the third wall or whatever, and just start looking at the camera, telling you what he

thinking in the middle of scenes? It's pretty! It's really great. It's there's everyone else freeze in the background freeze like to play the game sort of pretty much they're still still the in the Bay blur out, but then it's just him just will be across the meeting table from somebody like here's. What I'm about to do- and they don't know it, but here's how I'm gonna do it watch this? It's amazing! It's really just politicking! You learn a lot about. You know even show business and networking overall from when how these politicians operate. 'cause. That's all that they're doing is playing gossip games and texting, and it's a broken system and they're all criminals, keeping us from the internet. That's what it is that you tighten down on this fucking system and what they don't want to. Dio is admit that this could all handled way better with voting online. Let's do it that way Every person has an id every id, just like your fucking, so security nut card can only do it once boom Can you vote online yep, and that happens? That's when things will get. You can't control that Bitch

control that they'll they'll they'll never allow something like that. They will fight until death. That literally, might be where the revolution lies is getting people to vote on because they would essentially be giving up all of their tricks that they've been using over the past decade, needs to manipulate. How are people are picked? How presidents packed Laws are passed all that shit's been manipulated. Everything should be done. The popular vote now yeah fascinating idea that there would so try hard. They would try so fucking hard to avoid yeah. That would be like a real tipping point in this country. We really realize that we are being run by vampires like how quickly they would and shriek into the dark corners of the room when you open the drapes and take a good look at the real scenario. Then I try to give the people what they want: they're trying to profit off current system, the current career system as in place only need around the president.

You're clean young man, you can run for president here. You're very likable could probably pull it off. You think you could. There was a period of time when I was a kid and I wanted to, but you wanted to be present in one point time for a little moment, did you fall on your head or something What made you want to be president and you get sick, we deliver it now. I thought it was just very, very young. I thought it was Glenn. Did you have the fever yeah, the president? I had the feeling he had a president's fever. You know when we all go through that school and sixteen your bed dying yeah. I got obsessed with the there was a period or the kid I was obsessed with, like the declaration of independence and how it came to be in, like a whole red. I remember, reading a whole book about John Han Then I started practicing my signature all the time I was. I thought that was so cool that this guy had the balls to be like Diego here I am- and I did this, who would be the first person to be president that doesn't have the fake president voice? Who will be the first purse?

that just talks to everybody person who changes the world who doesn't have a way of speaking with long fake pauses, when I believe but I believe for you and for me and for our, great nation is that we must unite. Imagine if that guy so bizarre that fucking guy was over your house bitch. Why are you talking like that? why you talking this fake, stupid voice, but you get away with that. When it's a big group of people and you're a politician, we know that you're. Talking in the Phacus most old school way possible. You might will be in the theater, you dummy you might as well be in the theater back when they didn't have microphones when they have to shout out there stupid lines, imagined Strip club dj being the President Strip Club DJ with no microphones coming up. So the mainstage, it's diamond and then a bunch of banjo players behind have the music, because you don't have electricity,

my country, at a bomb threat, I got more information or more evidence to the poor people that think that I'm in league with the devil I wore this t shirt on. Box. It was wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia. They when I ordered the dvd they found out. We talked about on the podcast, so the people that make it they sent me. These cool t, shirts and one of was that famous picture of Nixon meeting Elvis or the hands, but they were play Elvis's, is head with Jessica, White and Nixon with the devil himself and says like that: Evelyn Cell, Jesco and I wore on Fox, and I got like one hundred tweets going. What the fuck are you wearing on tv? I didn't even think about it, but for a good portion of this knucklehead country. If you have a shirt on that, has a devil's face and says the devil like these dumb is actually think that you you're you're down with the devil. Like the devil,

That's that's where we draw the line in this cookie country. Even even you know, even religious people you can say that you believe in God. You're allowed to say that you even allowed to say that God talk to me. Like I say that the other day I didn't even bother me. There was a guy that was in Austin there was a guy that was at a red light. He was begging, You know cardboard thing and the guy the car shut down the window said: hey Man, God just talked to me and told me. I should give you this and he gave the guy twenty dollars that doesn't bother me, but if the guy roll down the windows at hey man. I was just speaking to Satan and he thought you could use this to party with you're, not talking anybody believes in Satan? Is an asshole like you're allowed to believe in God? But if you you believe in Satan. Everybody tells you to go fuck yourself. You have to be like way: D Ben Cuckoo for Coco pops. Oh, you actually believe in Satan toe believe in ah believe in the bad guy I mean yeah. Have you ever met someone who actually believe in Satan? And you didn't know

they believe in Satan until you got to know them gosh shit, I feel like I've met a couple people that really wanted to be different and like could pull it off the you know. They don't have the commitment. I met a girl once and she was with her sister and total innocent conversation, you know nothing, nothing crazy got said it was told normal an she brought up something I think it had to do with gay marriage. I think it had to do with that. And it was something about a bill being passed and I met this is many many years ago, so my memories a little foggy. But I do remember this. Whatever the controversy was, she said she goes. It's not God's way, and I said I remember like stop in and like all of sudden going well what what it, what it would have with this conversation like what is just a it's a. Is it God's way like? How do you know God's way is? Do you do you really talk to God or like? Where are you getting this from, and she goes oh that Satan's scales of covered your eyes. She actually said that to me his scale

have code and I'll. Never forget me, looking at her and her sister and going damn you crazy and the girl was. She was so pretty too, like oh, my god, she's beautiful. She was like latin or something like that. I was like. Oh, he crazy bitches guys, take care this guy. Really I was like we can't even talk. You really think the like statement, scales and put some of your eyes. We have so much work to do here, like I'm not taking on this project like to just to just to communicate with you and get you to a point of rational, objective thinking. Eight three, four mushroom trips right. Have you heard of a guy named Peter POP he's a pastor. Who is what guys you do blow somebody? the other day I watched it. I was sleeping on the couch and I woke up in his. He had one of those shows on page shows commercials, I was amazed what what woke me up, because I was kind of like half listening to while sleeping, was amazed at how the the things that they say and it it just seemed a legal like there are like you, like all you know we

going to do some miracle water. This water is miracle water, you're, going to open up these envelopes, and then they start showing like testimonials of people in there. Like you know, I in my I read the letters and then, just a week later, I got a new house in a car and then the next person was like. I got two hundred thousand dollars and then there's other ones like a guy just walked up and gave me a check for fifteen million dollars. It was. It was like the most fake as shit ever and so then I started really researching this. I entered all these videos about him online at that, like I guess, he's been ripping people off for a long time and one of the best videos is one where he he just is up and he goes we're so and so so, and so is here, let's say Tina Tina Fey where you at and it comes up because I heard you have author, ids and you're here, because you want to get this author, itis and stuff like that and the whole time is wife is just pumping. Yeah there's a whole show that she had a thing on. It was on one of those twenty 20s or something like that yeah. I know we talk. About this in the past have

Pretty sure, maybe is on another podcast, but I was amazed that he still allowed to do that. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, well that guy name one that's not it's almost like it's. It's so ridiculous, like the most ridiculous hustle ever it's like who they trick in the uh the trick in our like they're, almost like mentally challenged. Oh yeah, people with no hope when you're, when you're dead, we just robots when you're down to being convinced that there's a miracle water out there, that is going to come in the mail via the postal service and it's going to work it's to change your fortune right, yeah! That's the one one of these things somewhere along the line they used to ask for donations, but then somewhere along the line they they realized that they could sell things and they started like selling holy water and selling like prayer services and and and and telling people that you would plant a seed. So if you like, spend ninety dollars last ninety dollars, he will come back to you in ten fold the Bible say

And then we come out with some crazy fucking was that the guy Creflo dollar listen, my favorite, because it's got a dollar in his name. I mean you're, a pastor in your fucking name is dollar. What's your really weird names like that Peter pop off. Have you ever met any other pop offs before this guy's gotta have a different real name? Now, He must have a real name. What's his real name, was real name is Creflo Augustus dollar Junior wow. This is really fucking name kinda, bachelor science and education s their target shit smacking people my favorite Robert Tilton. You know he is he probably seen him there's A viral video of him farting, like he's like he talked, there's a lot on the show to go Malacca chuckle out of my one of my life match. You know my level. It's a whole areas, see if you can pull up Robert Tilton talking in tongues,

because it's some of the most ridiculous shit ever, but I'll! Never forget this one thing. They said he said every time you write a check to me. Satan gets a black eye wow, but it doesn't party, I think that if you're dumb enough to send him that money like so what so I got you with the dumbest trick of all time, like you really thought name, is going to gone. You really thought that money is going to give the devil a black guy, you Santa you're fucking stupid, went and looked after. You write one of the things that this Peter Popoff does. Also sends you a barley, cake from you know the Bible, where it's like kind of like the little bread you eat, and he goes He goes in this commercial. He goes and we make it with the exact ingredients that they say in the Bible and blah blah blah. But then, if you look up Ezekiel four hundred and twelve in the Bible, it says and you should eat it as barley, cakes and bake it using

will of human waste, so it it is human way. I so so in the wait, a minute wait, a minute when I know it does you want that typing is equal for twelve and twelve Eze. That's okay, I hold on hold on Ezekielel four hundred e l, four twelve for twenty four twelve for twelve yeah you're thinking about the weed law. But I think, you'll, four hundred and twelve. In a long time since I read up on my good old Ezekiel's, so this is all new to me: bacon with dung come is out of man in their site home. So so so he's saying hold on it or cooked with shit. Oh, my god and out Shell bake it with dung that comes out of man in their site, but it, in the Babel, it's in the Bible. Why don't you mean to study the Bible and cook your bread with Chad? Have you ever tried my poop who barley came fucking Amerigen? How dumb people are that really hurts my brain? You know

Gil Ezekiel might've been tripper. 'cause Ezekiel was also where the first depictions of ufos came from and we pull that up. Yeah deal was known for there's. There's a bible quote that people bring up all the time see UFO. I bet people were seeing a lot of things after eating a bunch of shit together, eating fucking shit, cakes all day, throwing up almost dying. It was a wheel within a wheel. It was God's chariot guys with boats that had all the animals. You think we should prepare the barley cake in a different way. No, no! It's great trying to find this stupid fuck culture yeah! I cook it was okay dad to write that down on paper, I put some eggs for Thou art, my son, because I get so obsessed with this minister that so when I found that out that I I had tweeted, something like off guard was like eggs. You kill for twelve or something like that, and all these people got pissed off that I was do

you're doing Bible scriptures, that's hilarious. Well, they read that though they figured it out. How do you not read that and just start laughing tell me to cook shit, cakes. The Bible says Cook should case. This is one more dump in the Bible, God down, I'm so tired of people, pretending that books awesome, I'm so tired! You stop! That! Should stupid! Ok! Here, here's a quote, and I looked and behold a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud and a fire in full Bing itself in brightness was about it and out of the midst thereof, as the color of amber out of them. It's of the fire. Ok, how's! Audio file, that's somebody putting two points to go. There go together from wait a minute this the hold up with this, and this also out of the midst. Therof came to likeness of four living creatures, and this was their appearance. They the likeness of a man. Whoa

after in everyone had four faces, and everyone had four wings and their feet were great in the soul of their feet was like the soul, caps foot and they sparkled, like the color of burnished brass. What a trippy book people like? Oh my god, it's so real. I hear God's words when you're saying these things, God speaking to me through your words, please read on and they have the sons of man under their wings on their four sides and they had and they for their faces and their waste. Somebody might have just made all this up and me like. An asshole is reading, Fake Bible quotes shitting all over the Bible in the aliens, but guess what I don't care I'm. Not I'm not reading any further, it seems like if this is. If this really is Ezekiel's, it says it is God damn it they could solve nuttiness. They walked up with their four faces and they said why are you guys, cooking things? shit and the living creatures ran in returned as the appearance of a flash of lightning. Now, as I be,

hold the living creatures. Behold, one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures with his four faces. These guys were tripping Harneet and Shit Kingsley losing their mind. What grows on shit, mushroom. That's right, leave your shit, cakes out the cover with mushrooms eat your shit cake strip, your balls off start talking, nutty man when those went these. Went and when those stood still, these stood and those were lifted up from the earth the wheels lifted up. That guys is glossolalia that just word salad that guys high as fuck. He just rambling, guys fucking suck the same thing in Joshua Tree one time, and this is the stuff by the way that they captain. You know, I mean think about that. Like especially in the new testament, the new testament they had it like have like meeting what's in there leave this look at you crazy. If you look at that, Ezekiel four hundred and twelve quote now it's totally change has nothing to do like really completely different

to the quote. Well, you know it also, it's probably so hard. You should talk to a linguist right. You know I talked to a language called the other day, ironically enough for a big foot show and if you talk to a linguist they'll tell you that it started off. It was or spoken story for the longest time, for when, but even wrote it down and the the Bible must many of the stories in the Bible probably existed before language or before a written language. So like like a lot of the stories in the Bible, also, like really similar to the same stories of ancient Mesopotamia and like Seumeren, like the epic of Gilgamesh, is like really close to the up Noah's Ark. It's like really like a lot of similarities in a lot of the stories, so

right down the road down and, and probably let's say the first ship was this Americans. They wrote it down and something school Cuneiform Acuna form the wrote it down then and then eventually became ancient Hebrew, and then they got to translate it engine. He wrote it to get to you Latin and then is translated to Greek, has translated to English, like they had to fuck it up in a lot of ways along the way I mean you're, dealing with some wacky ass languages you mean how many people even exists and know how to convert all that shit languages are at and when they go over the the dead sea scroll, is the real trip factory read some of the shit: that's in the dead sea scrolls the dead sea scroll the oldest version of the Bible. By far by almost one thousand years, I think it was found in a place called Qumran in these caves in the side of a mountain. Like a side of a hill and these

caves. Have these clay pots an enema? These they're literally made out of animal skins, and it's the oldest stories of the Bible, an it's all, trippy fucking shit, it's all you read it and you go. It makes Ezekiel sound normal, right, and it's so naughty that even though it's the oldest version of the Bible, they're very resistant to release it and you like to say we're going to revise the Bible now, according to the dead sea scrolls that, like you know, we've been reading this for awhile. Maybe we need to fuckin just bury this bitch this that's where that guy John Marco Allegro who's, the dead sea, bulls guy. He was like that. The head translator for the dead sea scrolls, he said the whole thing was about mushrooms. He his he wrote a book called the sacred mushroom and the Cross He was only scholar on the whole dead Sea Scrolls committee. That was an agnostic. He was ordained minister, but then it's being theology realize it was worshipped. You leaving boo

yeah. I think about other people by guys were going to wrap this up soon. Anyway, we're going to get out two I gotta go see the premier of serious the Dr Steven Greer Documentary, where he reveal the truth about the tiny little alien baby and whether or not it came from the planet Uranus. Will you please text me immediately or live tweet text me during it? you know what what's going on with. I will text you, but is a show only for you. I will save the rest of it for when we talk on air, so do not expect live, tweets or spoiler I'm fascinated. I actually talked to a really cool guy today at a video game company that saw it last night and he said it was really interesting. So I'm gonna, Hise fuck and we're gonna see what's up, see you tomorrow, man, George Saint Pierre, in well, yeah,

so this dead sea scrolls this guy John Marco Allegro said after like fourteen years of study that the entire christian religion was really about fertility rituals and mushrooms. It was about tripping balls on psychedelic mushrooms and it was about fertility treatments and that our fertility festivals, and that they would fertility rituals and becoming pregnant, was like the most important thing like keeping a baby alive was really and becoming pregnant and having a a child is like the most important thing they look forward to it like there was a serious urgency to having children, because people are fragile. You know, and they also knew a lot about the indigenous psychedelic plants and especially what they think the Aminata Masskara mushrooms. He thinks was one of the big ones and that the

people just didn't want anybody else know about it, so they hid their stories. They hit him in in parables, and you know they had the how they you know what their their history of of the use of the stuff really interesting stuff that I'm way too stupid to understand whether he's right or whether the other people are right, but That is a legit scholar. You know he's now. Stoner he's not like one of those guys try to justify mushroom use. There is something in the times that I've tried, mushrooms, in which I know it sounds very a typical, but I really think there's something there. I mean there's like definite,

beyond science and rational, and what I've been told to expect in this in that there's something there's something extra wild about him. And, ah, you know nothing's really that great as when you can really enjoy that yeah and um, and it makes for everything I mean. Luckily, you know they're finally coming out with these studies that are showing what it's doing for depression and anxiety, and it's it's a supernatural um cure. At times for people, even with what they called um, but when it's a lifelong diagnosis, chronic depression and people have bounced out of it when they thought that they were going to be miserable for the rest of their lives. It's like. Oh thanks. A real consciousness reset button, a real one, Auriel not not not just like bow in your hand, pretending you feel better. It's real! It's legit

listen to some of the that send the the dead sea scrolls by the way there, because people are working really hard to try to turn that around those of the Johns Hopkins Study and yeah. My friend Aubrey was just at maps the the second like meaning, whatever the hell, it is forget what the what is it stand for maps also on the same map psychedelic. I should know because they're doing a lot of really good work and letting people know like there, Intel Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic studies and they're they're, hitting him with hard science over and over and over again and showing how many people it could be beneficial for which by then a lot of the people that are trying to hold it back. Those people that are trying to hold it back. It would be beneficial to them as well. So people don't understand- is that the your desire for your resistance to psychedelics is the very reason you need cycle in the first place. If you really understood what you were resisting like you really holding God back you really want to believe in God takes

grams of mushrooms. You'll see him, you really part, with them. You'll hang out with them. Do DMT you'll meet God for sure you, it sounds crazy. It sounds like an idiot saying it and I agree It sounds like an idiot. It's me, I agree with you, but I think it's probably exactly what Ezekiel talking about. In that story, buddy was tripping his balls off yeah. He had some crazy psychedelic experience. You probably ate some mushrooms, or you know the most burning. Bush scholars to this day actively. In Jerusalem there there's a movement for scholars to recognize the possibility that Moses was on psychedelic trucks and that's one of the reasons why it's all a burning bush like one of the big bushes that they that they associate with that areas, the acacia tree, Acacia, Bush, rich in DMT, and if that means that if they figured out how to extract that shit smoke it Bush is right. There yeah, he met God. He found out know it sounds like what God would save your high on DMT. All those 10k

and once they sound pretty right, yeah, don't fuck your neighbors wife, don't kill anybody. Be nice yeah. It sounds like with DMT would tell you like. It literally is exactly what DMT would tell you translated through the filters of time of thousands of years of various languages, but if some guy had some breakthrough experience back, then I was trying to light and all the people around him. That's what he would say. I came back from God. God gave me this message and then over eh amount of years of idiots talking about it would know, know, know who wrote it on stone tablet who had it. He knows God's word will do. God gave him giants, don't mean when people exaggerating tell stories, of course, good one thousand years of people explaining what happened there, going to fuck it up and butcher. It just make sense. What was the name of MEL Brooks Movie. It's one of my favourites teams in comedy history with MEL Brooks, is playing Moses and he comes around the corner with three hundred and ten, give you these fifteen and eat fifteen apps to one these ten commandments, yeah, so funny,

This is a this. Is a fucking fascinating. These quotes. I mean again, I can't tell you if these quotes are really from the actual dead sea scrolls, but it's ah with really wild crazy shit. It's just hard to understand how you translate things to English, because it's you're, also trying to like display the intent with a completely different style of communicating. You know like the style of communicating that they had back then it's probably so alien like socially, and so they try to alter it to get it to fit into how we feel that they would communicate if they live today. Yeah many will attempt to steal your crown and rob you of your joy, but they can never succeed because of my presence with you. What you have hidden in the deep recesses of your heart can never be removed by the enemy of your soul. Me

Tina, strong faith in me and my word, and you shall never perish but enjoy life, everlasting, which I have provided you. That sounds like a cult leader. Like a dude is trying to get his dick sucked, and he knows where the gold, this yeah life, Everlast. That's a hard promise to keep. Who knows is that's what it's really said, though. That's the that's the really fascinating stuff about all this really ancient shit is like piecing together. The past so fucking hard to figure what anybody really said like this stuff, that I've been telling you about this Dan Carlin's hardcore history that I've been listening to for the past couple of months. They do know what what gang is kind of looked like they'd only looked like they don't know where they bury them. They they don't have any direct quotes from him. They have quotes from like people that met with, like russian historians like emissaries and diplomats. That meant to

demand things before they. You know for the Mongols descended upon them Should I read a thing about that, exactly that they hired like fifty people to bury Genghis Khan, and then they hired one hundred hundred people to kill those fifty people so that nobody knew where he was buried. Then they hired five hundred people to kill those one hundred people that killed the fifty people in case any of them told them a thing and they would just ambush these groups of people that were under their own and in order to protect the secret of Genghis Khan they're bad mother, they were willing to take it to a level that human beings today could never conceive of that's all I do now. Is I absorb all these these? This is his history unbelievable to maze and now with the internet. You can go non, stop tangent to tangent to tangent, you can forget what originally got you there. Next thing you could just be on the different scope of

the universe, but for some reason, like tragic events of twelve ad, don't bother me as much as like Boston of twenty thirteen. Like I stopped reading about the boss, tragedy. So I don't want to you know. I'm hearing about this guy lost his legs in this people. You know these people are only injured and this person died and it's you know it's so dip sing, but for whatever reason I can read about Gangus Khan or listen to this audio tape about Gangus Khan, it doesn't bother me yeah, so we don't know how keep up people are capable of such horrible horrible. Behavior. We don't know we're not used to or not around it that often, but you have to see something happen to just. Understand. Oh yeah there's some of us out there that are just fucking nuts man, it's just in in in the evolution of things. It's hard it's hard to get all the way clear. After one thousand years ago, the

Lloyd's were killing tens of thousands of Mongoloids hey what was Mongols. What I felt you can say whatever man the come, the come get you I think it's kind of like the hero. I mean imagine like that. That's a guy. That's in your past. You know, we talked about it, it would sure, and the ancestors do. Oh really my answer was getting his fucking. My ancestor killed. Everybody 'cause king is con fucked, so many people that he's responsible for like a giant percentage of the dna in that area, like he's in something like five percent. His dna is in some I just made that number out by the way and I'm going to google it because it's not that fucking important. What am I historian go. Look for yourself, you fuck But if you want to find out get get that Dan carlins hardcore history, I can't recommend it enough. The guy puts a tremendous amount of work into these. Podcasts are really respect. His work ethic, I'm fucking fascinated by it. Man, Gangus Khan, was a mother fucker dude, no

Pantone Hinchcliffe. Oh yeah, definitely so what's next for the except besides Wednesday night icehouse can't wait for Wednesday, with Burt Pressure and Time Sakura and Brian Redban Jesus Louise. I love it very excited. We're gonna have some fun. What else going are you still working on Jeff Ross show yeah we're in between seasons right now, hopefully, season three will be really soon the burn in comedy central and you're one of the writers over there. So if you see something really offensive most likely that guy wrote it, you know who did it Tony Hinchcliffe, he doesn't give a fuck even if they didn't write for it. I fought for it to be on the show. He's born gangster. Look at them, look at them! True, it does not give a fuck came out here from Ohio to make it in the dark world? It's true what you from Columbus, originally from Youngstown in italian city between Chicago in New York. I know where that is. I did comedy there. I did comma in this club funny farm yeah

and they had the there's a the in the there there's a disco in the front and the there was like. Well, it wasn't the highest end, this guy, you know yeah, and it was like all this music was playing every time. The back door would open, you would hear e and then it would close. And then you go back to your act. It would be like literally this quiet and the door would open. So it's just constant, open and shut and two p how to go that way. I think you- and I might have made that up to now that remember it wasn't a good gig. That club was notoriously like not really did you ever do it now. Never never land area started out here. Do you want to go back to just let everybody know? I went back a couple times when I first started and ah did pretty big shows a different bar, but that was

a bar. Well, you just did like you put your own thing, yeah, looking fucking stud yeah. Would you do it with you bring somebody? It was just me actually just you by yourself. I have your savage yeah. I have a big, a good great group of friends back in Youngstown. How much time do you have all together? Well gather, it's weird, because, no matter what I'm trying to do, I always go off on tangents and whatever. So it's always have to end up doing less than my goal anyway and uh. It's a good problem to have yeah yeah. It is that you get that problem. You do a lot of comedy. Yeah gotta do a lot of comedy stage yeah how many days a week you going up every night. That's how you do it, I'm not some nights. Like last week I had a couple nights. It was three shows in one night damn lying around just doing it. Isn't it amazing when you do that, because it comedy becomes part of dna. You know really gets in that groove, it's hard to do it's hard to do

I find a balance. I'd like to do that. I never liked you every night I like to do like three or four nights a week. Then I like to take nights a week off, not even think about comedy and just right where I don't. Even I don't even entertain the idea going on stage. I just go over ideas. You know, and I find that there's like for me. I can't just always be going on stage. It's like a lot of time has to be spent specially now working on. I don't know like I'm like six seventh hour or something like that. All the time I put out specials and shit so I have to I have to figure out like new angles and two points of view and not even necessarily new points of view, but new subjects, new new different things. That interest me new points that I have and I feel like. I don't. I don't just get that if I just go on stage a lot, I have to spend a lot of time doing other shit.

You know- and I think about that actively now, whereas when I was younger than I really think about that actively like, I would just try to like right. You know just try to come up with new bits, but now I make myself do things so that cool stuff will come out of a mile have interesting stuff to talk about. He was very soon after I started stand up within the first couple weeks. I found Yeah Book book Stephen King, wrote called on writing writing great book, unbelievable because it's obviously you know not a fiction he's just talking about his work. Ethic of writing is like

think I'm a writer. If I take a day off what am I that I'm just some got and uh. I started applying that during the day and I figured you know on top of writing my own stand up. If I keep up this habit of writing for a few hours every day during the day, um, then, ah, then it will get better and uh. It did sure enough. You know. Luckily, I'm a member of the writers Guild now yeah the working on the show and everything. So the habit was really. It was that book that gave me the confidence you're listening to Stephen king in what I mean yeah one of the best at what he does so one of the best of all time. Yeah I mean I'm a huge fan of that guy and I just I just have a thing about people that produce stuff. I find that like. For me, one of the most inspirational thing

is to be around a lot of other inspirational people. Yeah like when I I like when I go to USC, I want to work out. You know after come home, I wanna and work out like crazy. When I go see calmly, I want to write yeah. I think that's, what's is really important totally. I do that all the time, even with the music that I listen to going somewhere, getting ready for something you know at night. Also, the big, powerful music that'll, get me in a sort of height and inspired a lot of live shows is the type of music that I listen to when you hear the crowd just yeah yeah and these breaks or the beginnings or at the end of the song and that's the stuff it takes every little bit of Mo Jo one could absorb to be able to kick it back out. Yeah. That's why I really like music as well. I think music is one of the cool things to see because it's like a the energies put it it's it's, but it's totally different from commenting. It's like some new fasteners and new

energy some new thing and like when I listen to a song like some songs, just like something about it like like, there's a lyrical qual to like writing and songs that to realize somewhere along the line, is applicable to comedy as well like when a joke is written correctly and a joke. Has a good economy of words and the right words to describe the right situation. It has like a rhythmic quality to it and I think, that's sort of That's sort of underestimate are overlooked by a lot of comedians, the impact that that so rhythm to the delivery, has the impact of it. I think it's pretty substantial totaly, but we don't think about that. We just think about what it's funny, but it's not just that. It's like it's funny and it's also

good and it's smooth and it's it's a lot of things to the make it more enjoyable, more interesting to listen to a perfect example of what you're talking about right now with the rhythm and like the timing and everything last night, I'm hosting at the comedy store it's like forty comedians everybody, that's new and employees after that and then paid regular whatever in the middle of it a cook the the Mexican Guy L does show who works the deep fryer at the comedy store caught him, and I want to go on stage and barely speaks English at all. I mean the impression I just did is making him sound much more american than he is and he he wants to do comedy, and I go. You know what man all right, but it's

going to be two minutes. Ok, this way in case it's, you know right, but you know, and he goes up, but it was hilarious because nobody could understand a single word, but he was completely committed and then all of a sudden he's making this noise and noise. Really you don't you don't even know what the noise he was making was, but his commitment and his beats with that just. He crushed he crushed and all these other comedians that do it every night and look at going up in that I'm at the comedy store is like this. Is it I'm going to show them what I would do on the tonight show? If I was on it tonight, then you have the guy worked in the frying pans, who nobody understands a word. There's people that spend so much time writing everything, but there is an ensure it's a silly instance. But it was extremely funny and if I'm cracking up and the audience is laughing and people there, then it's funny.

But you know it's really interested in with that. How do you? How do you recreate that? Could you recreate that with another audience maybe not in make, maybe that would only work in the that sort of a really loose situation, where it's a comic store, a bunch comedians in the crowd. You want to go up, you go up and like no expectations, you know I mean it's like. Could you re create that and become a comedian right yeah? Because you know, now? That is that weird realization you have where just 'cause a joke kill in one place, it could bomb in another place, and you say at same way: your leg, what the fuck and then you realize well, there's. This doesn't always work like this. This is a weird idea, I'm throwing out there and some people are going to buy into it and some people are not, and sometimes it sounds like that. Where is joke ever written, and sometimes it sounds like you're, a fool 'cause. Sometimes, there's something that happened the first time he did it when it worked that you did before that you don't normally do that. You forgot that you did and it worked because of that and I think a good thing for young comics to realize that that's good, it's good. All his

bombing and failing and not getting it right. It's good! It's good 'cause! If you don't have it you're, not going to appreciate when it goes well. I remember in my first few weeks to do it. Somebody comedian came up to Maine, who I won't say his name, but he was terrible and he goes hey man, you know the trick is bomb is often If you can I'm thinking myself yeah, that's what you would do you lose their that's. What you're doing anyway, but got the trick is to bomb Moses rationale. Well, he goes you know, because now is the time to knock bombing out. You know how to bomb now it ended up making some sense

it was terrible. So how do we have such wisdom right? Exactly somebody must have. Somebody must have told him that, like hey, you know, look at it this way in a positive sense. Your bombings, good, I don't think bad comedians are funny anymore, makes me sad. It's funny to you right now, because it's so close now, just just madness. I look at it. I see madness, those people that you know they're going to try for years and years and years and they'll never going to happen. Doesn't exist for them yeah. It is creepy and I've seen it with a few people, and it must be that with anything you watch american idol of people saying and you, like houses I think they can saying they're crazy houses, person, think anything anybody wants. It must be that, for literary agent mean imagine, people send you screw stories like holy FUCK. Are you reading this nuts fucking work? Man read this watt. What is that Tony? Why? Why are some people, so god damn dulu

is there a broad spectrum of human beings and the amount of voltage battery puts out some people just designed to dig holes? I think that the dilution is, you know, come, but the delusion needs to be that with tons of work at something you can accomplish it, not that the delusion, as I can do this it's you got it everybody that has ever been good at anything. Worked at it. You know what I mean a lot so and they wanted it, and even if you work at it doesn't mean you're going to get it specially with things like talent, things like talent is a weird thing like this guys: teen guys that, like they trained striking like it for me, ok, they train it for years they fucking training for years, but then, when it comes to actually fight, they can't pull it off they just they can't strike with people that can hit. They don't know if right there too slow, for whatever reason is, they can never figure it out, and this other guys, you

a couple of moves and look like fucking pros like instantly. Crushing knock you out with one punch, doesn't make any sense. It's like you either I mean it's like that. Clearly has a gif, this guy, clearly, no matter how hard he works, he's never gonna get there. It's true the weird thing about this life, but it must be a real curse, crazy feeling to be one of those guys. It's like trying to pursue something and you having no success and you can't connect the dots and you can't move forward um and it's you know before anything was happening. You know before when I was still not made. Money in before I was getting passed to the clubs in Hollywood and everything it was a stream only low. You know I was able to keep having fun by surrounding myself around funny friends and everything, but man was it hard yeah, it's depressing yeah, pressing as when you know make it We eat Dick out there it's hard, but isn't it like a real character builder once you through to the other side like you, must be so happy right now

Oh yeah you're always smiling and shit. I'm totally you like a professional comedian boom, get through its wild. He made it dude you know you fucking killed in Indianapolis, there's a lot of God. Damn peoples, two thousand people out there and you had to go cold. Nobody know who the fuck you are. I love it killed. That's great! That's the way I like it, yeah the audience loved. You haven't got a lot, a lot of positive tweets man. People really thought you're funny yeah, it was a blast. I listen to the set the next day and I just couldn't even believe it was really wild 'cause. I record all: does this sound in the power of That one was that the biggest crowd you ever worked. I think so right right around there. I should know, but it's been right around there with a couple shows that

that I was talking about this guy Phil Elmore he's a writer. He wrote this on his twitter says a writer never has a vacation for a writer. Life consists of either writing or thinking about writing and that's Eugene. You know Sicko, he was a playwright, that's so true, psycho yeah. I can't sleep at night. If I didn't do something that day, it's not a vacation, I'm I work my vacation like this. Is black bear it. If that what would be uncomfortable for me is literally being on an island for a week with no internet and no yeah pen and paper well, people that I do understand that, like you need to relax Tony, you need to stop working so hard. They'd understand that you're. The only perk. And can make Tony Hinchcliffe jokes. If some likes. You you're the the person that makes you you're the only person that performs and you're you. You know, that's it only tony twenty tony twenty cliff show around no one else can do unless they're in Vegas years from

doing an impersonator act right. History is the autobiography of a madman. Alexander Herson said the bad ass quote that I read today. This might be a good way to end the show Tony Hinchcliffe. Thank you for being a bad mother. Thank you for coming, along and and being one guys that are going to enjoy enjoy your comedy man so happy to be part of it. It's happy to have you welcome. That's quite bitch. Alright, thank everybody for tune into podcasts. Tomorrow we will be back with the greatest welterweight champion in the history of mixed martial arts. George saint Pierre, my friend joins us people Will you do to George Saint Pierre Impression in front of them only with George is blessing and then with the fuck. That means Tony help me out here. Buddy pick up the slack pick up. The slack tony you mean George Saint Pierre is going to be sitting in this chair. Don't rub your dick on it? Son of a bitch thanks where space dot com go to squarespace dot com forward, Slash Joe Ann.

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that's for my brain being much lately been working a lot on this other show as well as doing this, and I feel it feel like Tony. I feel a little stupid help me out buddy. Fourth and fifth. The death squad shows Tony Hinchcliffe in the House bitches. That's it alright, We will see you tomorrow. We love the shit out of you. And Godspeed Lock, big kiss.