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train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast, my name all day. Well, you threw in some new shit, powerful. There we go powerful world traveler Tom Rhodes here, fucking man, dude you're. You are, in my opinion. If you want to like talk about, like the you know, had a romantic poetic version of the life of the stand up. Comedian would be like an intelligent world. Traveler who literally lives out of a suitcase man, is just happy going from city city. Just making people laugh, but but Smart well read. You know your you're very poetic, dude you're, like the like. No one could criticize your road game this. Now nothing, they can say like no, oh man. I did three hundred dates eight here. Well, it was fine Tom. Was it three hundred and sixty five okay and they were all in another country you fucking out there dude

I you know, I'm I'm living the life I dreamed of men, and I just I just fell in love with the new country. I was in line and I I should start out saying death squad. Joe Rogan listeners man. I was in London in January loads of people, In my show, in Australia, New Zealand, I always meet cool people. You know heard me on on your show and uh. I was just in New Zealand for a month and had the greatest trip of my life. I I did the Auckland New Zealand Comedy Festival in Auckland for two weeks, and then I did this like best of the fest tour that went all over the country. I'd never been in New Zealand before was it like? It's epic, It's a hobbit like I went, I went to Hobbiton it's there, there's a town there called Hamilton and everybody all the committee made fun of Hamilton Hamilton was like the shit hole, it's the Cleveland or whatever I actually loved it. I had some the best meals in the food in all

restaurants, in New Zealand, where it's really expensive, but very good. I had great meals, there's a street in Hamilton called Victoria Street and there it is a little tiny park and there's a statue to riff Raff member rocky horror picture, show Let's do the time warp again that Guy Richard O'Brien that played riff raff. He wrote that song, and so this is statue of him like gay dude with pumps and like a space suit. Space gun in his hand, and it's very appropriate that all the people who do drugs- it's like this drug park and the people are slipping in it. Real ST urgent drug addict, slipping in and out of the place, but I thought it was brilliant that they had this section at the entrance of the park or people do drugs. So the the tour manager I told her

because you know, New Zealand is the land of extreme sports. I wouldn't jump off this fucking chair and I said the only thing I want to do, while in in New Zealand, is go to the Hobbit House, so she contacted the dude that ran the place and got him tickets, because all those tour others festival shows were sold out and this we got a private tour of, Barberton, it's still there. What does it look like? Does it look it up on the hill? It's again one. That's just perfect. There was, when Peter Jackson was looking around New Zealand he had be the finest big tree. It's the party tree of Hobbiton, and so it's this perfect spot. The guy found so was a real tree that was there another still there yeah I asked of beautiful tree and there's these hills all around it and they built the little Hobbit houses into the side of the the thing in it. The people go Are them like how they keep you know they they do tours. It's like seventy dollars. You go on a tour, but we got a private tour from the dude. That runs the place. I don't want

and so normally on the tour you can't like go up to the doors and stuff you got to stay behind the little tiny fences, but this dude. Let us we stick our heads out of the door taking pictures and it was raining that wasn't very many people there, but um it was to be a trip. It was incredible and then there's a little tavern at the What are the insides of those things looks like nothing 'cause they had the sets built in Wellington, so they just would film people going in and out. That was a stupid. Defense. Bill Bell: Baggins jumps over the instead the beginning, I'm going on a great adventure and that dude, let me jump over it. That's fucking, awesome, wow yeah! I've been in New Zealand, but it looks insane looks so beautiful. It looks like incredible at mountains in the N island, which they is the lesser spectacular I thought looked like California, like N California and then the South Island is like that's where all the majestic

of the rings shots are, and that's really stunning down there wow wow, and why do you say that there, like the kings of of extreme sports, like what they invented bungee jumping anyway yeah that was invented in New Zealand? All these like crazy. There fall into this crazy. You know anything extreme. Why is that? You think there's just way your people, so this it goes back to the memories and their manliness, and that's the key, the cool thing of of New Zealand to they at that that mainly yeah. Now are thing. I saw a dude very tall, handsome Mallory guy by twenty five walking down the street now, and he had that tattoo on his face. Oh- and there was a couple of Mallory comedians and people that worked at the club, where I was playing in I should point out that you're covering your mouth like a like a gas mask, that's what it was like is again like a ink task mass like over the exactly precisely and

and I asked about in there oh yeah that dudes very important in his tribe he's like a You know, but he was a young young, Gish dude he's very important, so tattoos tattoos mouth- I you know it's just an ancient ancient. Tradition, ancient yeah. I saw women with facial so little tiny things which must be back use of honor. Somehow, that's that's a crazy culture that they take it to the next level. The like, we will have a we all tend to our face right, yeah about that yeah. I I wanted to find out if you know how they felt about the MIKE Tyson copy this like, if he's like, they think he's a punk and there's a body builder. Did it to that has the Mallory thing he had very MIKE Tyson, like gigantic. Dude he's got it on here. To do the dance. If you're going to get the facial tattoo, you know like the haka yeah,

cool yeah they've they dance before their opponent near runs at them. Yeah my friend Steph, and talk to me either that he sent it to me. The first time he sent to me is like it's a the beginning of a rugby match and these yeah, the all blacks home, my God, it's it's so intense. It's it's! It's like the manly of shit that humans have ever done other than like fight with swords. It's like the manliest shit you could do. Is that dance? Have you seen it pride, pull it pulling up the haka dance yeah. Let me see if I could find like a good version of it, because There's a black and white. I think it's an Adidas ad for like Adidas Rugby Equipment, yeah It's just says the Haka WAR Dance Rugby, it's the first one. If you just ok- and you know the memories- you know they were never colonized daylight constantly fought the br. When the British came like. I read history of Australia. There's a great book by Robert Hughes called the fatal shore and it's all about the epic

king of Australia. Here these guys are doing. Was there a beginning, open yeah? you miss the investor day at Stabley dated shuttle owns. Oh no, oh there you go, Oh, the dance keeps going yeah yeah yeah, there's something terrifying about that kind of energy. So imagine you know like that, originals in Australia. What I was going to say from the book. They were friendly when the British in the convicts came in there, like you, know, rushed out to the boats and bringing him fruit and stuff. The Mallory's did nothing but attacked his mother. Fuck. Imagine you're coming from England and you get off and these these negative people are dance you and they like we're bashing their heads with rocks and is hiding in caves and gorilla.

More fair. To the end, I mean. Imagine you, like some white door keys. Do it from England and your ship arrives in New Zealand. These mother fuckers come out of the cave and do that grunt dancer tattooed face would get back on the mother. Fucking boat you imagine. If that's your fuck up, 'cause, that's what it was back, then to mean when they, floor. New countries there's a lot of it- was just like you're gonna pull into this harbor. Unless it was set up right, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. We really never seen a white guy before you've, never seen one of them before I like Captain Cook, the guy he did was, is graded english explorer. I think you know he found Australia and the the cook islands. They killed him in Hawaii the natives there fuck you. But he and I had a good career leading up. He did well. He just you know he was like you know. It's hot, like you, never know what you're going to get on certain island. He knocked up some bring you fruit, some want to bash your head with a fucking, someone teach you and turn you into shrunken head. I finally figure with the shrunken head was, I watched a show on shrunken heads, like the tradition of doing it,

Only you would do that you're lying around your house. Why couldn't tell me? What will I entertain my it was. Wasn't it it was a total channel flipper not shrunk. It was a total channel flipper that shit's creepy. I landed on yeah, it's creepy as fuck man I was. I was under the impression that the skull is in there. It's not. They take the skull out and they're, basically shrinking the skin. Down. To this leather is smallish thing and then they pull it in to make it like a little purse out of it. It's gangster fuck too, I mean the shrunken head move is one of the most gangster things ever they're, not just going to take your head and cut it off they're, going to make a little ornament with it. A little leather orders yeah it's a little leather ornament, wow. What the fuck

you know. That's that people who just never bothered like blaming like books. A book. Okay, we're gonna, make a shrunken head. What was it like? You know, like you, know, television and the internet, you think, because, like back in the old days in England and the way they tortured people, you look at like torture instruments. Was it because they didn't have television yeah. We have we well, that's funny, because you know Biden is imposing or well in encouraging, endorsing proposing a tax on the producers of violent movies. Well, violent movies, violent media, violent video games and they're considered there considering imposing attacks, especially tax on that. I think the opposite. I've, really believe this, and this is not an indictment on the human race. I think actually we're just a little fucked up and chimpanzee like, but I think that seeing things violent movies and violent video games are probably like the most arctic ways to avoid doing

things in real life like there's something that gets satisfied without us having to actually go and kill someone in a war. It's one of the reasons why the most passive people in the world are fucking comic book nerds I mean who the hell wants to see damage and destruction more, that a comic book, we're going to watch a hulk movie. You go watch the okay smashing destroying share will ring stabbing do their clause as you all. Those guys will hurt a fly right right right. That's a really good point: the average dudes really really into like heavy duty, Sci FI and heavy duty action. You know action Sci, FI films, those kind of dudes like they don't they're, not harming people, its size, is a cathartic release in being attached to extreme things without having have to actually participate in them good point I mean, and they should be concentrating on making society better place and, like certain you know, man, you know that the some of the in

quality and you know class. I think once you're up ready of violent something another. Any kind of violent media can influence you and can excite you, but the reality is you have to be that you have to be fucked up for it to work and the idea concentrating on that as a cause. It's not 'cause. That's cause! You got a mental health issue right. I think it should be. We should be. It should be more concerned about people's mental health that guy Andreas Brevik, the lunatic in Norway that shot died. You know he desensitize, himself for a year. He sat in his mom's basement and I would follow that. I was obsessed with that trial and that dude is so fucking sinister, but he he thought about shooting people while he was doing it and that he would desensitize himself that it wouldn't you know his. He could work past that consciousness, telling him not to do it so I mean that guy was just a sick, fuck yeah

and not everybody that plays that millions. Have you ever played that uh? You know world of war craft or whatever the fuck. He was into, but you know only you can't blame that just doesn't work that way. It's like blaming cars for crashing into people and killing them. It's not. The video game does make people nuts. You got nuts that are reacting to video and the way to solve that is not take away the video games or Pataxo Video games the way to let's find out what the fuck is wrong with people. That makes him do that. What is it? is it that makes a person ableto commit horrific acts against look at the dude in Cleveland. He kept those girls, you know he's torturing them he's raping them for like ten years here. What what media was he into? What magazines was he reading? You know what um you know: boys life yeah yeah! Well, I don't think it had anything to do with that. I think someone dehumanized him. Probably a long time ago, someone

raised him in some horrific environment. They created a monster somehow or another through circumstance, nerd nature. Whatever you got a monster, no more scared of ex military than I am of people that play too much hardcore video games and you should be yeah. You should be. You should be scared of anybody, who's taken life once you once you've taken someone's life and done it. You know, and to a poor where it's sanctioned yeah. It's it's problem at not everybody has a discipline to handle something like that. You know a lot, that's it's admirable. How many guys can be disciplined to come back from that and be okay, but for a lot of people know a lot of people, it's just that PTSD man is just for a lot of those guys. They say that one of the best things for PTSD is MDMA.

Is ecstasy and they're, having headway in um, doing that in therapeutic uh, with therapeutic applications of M d M A and they're helping people that have, ah all sorts of PTSD, Post, traumatic, stress disorder for people don't like acronyms, The even an acronym is. It is an acronym like NASA when you say it, that's an acronym right. I don't know what is it when it's just like CIA! You know you're, not calling a chia. I can't spell restaurant, don't ask Maine yeah restaurant. I rely on my iphone for that. I get to res to yeah man. Remember when you used to have to fuckin right out of paper and turn into school, you have to at least have to write it out and know how to spell each number one of those words. Now I just get close and it gives me a real word sprinkler line and do a little right, quick, I'm like yep, that's what I was looking for and that's all you need to it's not like you need to know that it's kind of funny, a little you do know, though it's

funny how little you know like my eyes, are going when I look at things like this far is like the reach of my hand, I'm fine, but when I get close for what a reason like reading things, close just blurry, it's fucked now and um, when I when I see things like um, I have to like find like the place where it works you need a hipster glasses dude. I don't know why you don't do. I think glasses are cool if I could wear glasses or reason I would wear glasses every day. I don't remember what my point was. What we talk before Wednesday's glass of video games, torture, people, his soldiers seeing seeing, combat and have an xc treatments. The shark that was found off the coast of Huntington Beach might be a road record watch record shark. Did you see the doctor was found yeah check this out? It was caught, oh jeez, it's eleven foot shark was caught Monday morning outside of Huntington Beach and Catalina. I

Look at the size of that fucking thing: one thousand three hundred and twenty three pounds what the fuck, oh god, damn it, this guys beard. It is world things could fucking fly okay if sharks instead of swimming around wow in there three d, if they could fly if they were on our world and they could just fly around and eat people the way they move through the ocean, God damn would it be scary? The ocean is so much more fucked up. That's why nothing ever gets done. That's shows but it's there's a benefit like as far as progress to having one intellectually superior species that get to control the food chain that gets to put a halt, all the bullshit and then figure out things like RU, moves in the internet and cars because, if you can't keep the

things from eating you you wind up with the ocean or no one ever builds a fucking house. Your best ocean is like fucking one of those crabs, those hermit crabs. They just scoot to the next little shell and climb under it, but that's shall only exist 'cause somebody ate whoever was living in it. Somebody found in, create it now you're going to hide in there going gonna. Hide inside of his body cavity? That's the ocean! That's why there's! No one is phones in is nothing gets done in there. It's a constant move. It's three d can control things. The thing that made us able to rise above all the other animals. So we have the control and lock down areas and put up fences. We can keep things out, can't keep anything out in the bitch the ocean is just the ocean, it's just a wild grab bag and there's no way to solve that. So all the dolphins in the world are they are supposed to be smart as us, they never figured out a fucking house.

They never figured out how to build some shelter where they could, just like I'm tired of getting eaten by sharks. How you guys want to do this, let's make a house or something like something with a shark can get through Barb wire. They can't do. It is not enough time. Keep moving, keep moving, get more fish, Kokoko who's, japanese boats, fucking run. You should turn that into a bit. That's brilliant! Thanks! yeah try and make a note of that one, that's brilliant! That's a great fit What did I say if, in the future we had to live underneath the ocean, because you know the air pollution or the either, or something like that forces us to have to build how I think we would do that before outer space. I think so yeah because it was either I mean you could be like you could say, hey. We need to build this house underground here. Instead of having to space for you forgot. The range have to come back well, would get lonely yeah

that be pretty bad ass though it's like, we all are walls were just like looking inside the underneath it how much shit eat things with its face in the ocean just think How crazy the ocean is. It's just one big mother, Fucker trying to eat a smaller motherfucker, while an even bigger motherfucker tried to eat him, like that's one of the coolest things about catching a fish and having an attack? by a shark while you're real and if you ever had that happen, No reeling it in while shark is by no means either It looks like that's something I'd like to experience, but I've seen guys do that in like deep sea fishing like they catch a big tuna or something like that, and as they bring in a fucking shark attacks in tears it in half you ever seen like the pictures and images online yeah thing is fucking fascinating, because that's what that's the ocean, it's just just a fucking. Easy gangster fight with your face all day, the biggest shit trying to eat the biggest shit I mean a tuna is a bad mother, Fucker just running around jacking, smaller fish, but not small enough

shark comes along boom jacks to tune it. The wild race? We pull the sharks out or the top of the food chain. I love when I lived in HOLLAND, the Sim all of the lottery in HOLLAND is a big fish eating a little fish. Oh my god, yeah! That's that's true life. You got money, they fish for a little Well till your photo. Frazer comes you crazy, ass loses it. I bet if you win the lottery. I bet you're just immediately assaulted by con people. Have a con artist, just look for someone who won the lottery and like this mother, Fucker thanks when it comes easy. I just talk him into investment. I gotta wonder: Investment opportunity right. I don't go on television, don't don't hold, don't take pictures of you holding the big check, wonderful, wonder opportunity holding this money that you think you deserve the whole eye. Lottery is fucking ridiculous The money was originally supposed to go to edge patient in this country and then all yeah, none of it. You know what they realized. The more educa

people are less less likely they play the fucking lottery would be cut their own right. That's how they sold the United States that the lottery thing remember, that is, that way, yeah and as it went state by state and gambling. It's allowed, always sell it to the public, saying that the biggest portion of this money will go to education and the schools and everything we've been broke, for plus one thousand and twenty years, and you know where's that where's that promise nobody remembers, the well, it certainly should go to something good. Could you just stealing money from crazy people? That's what you don't! You give People a chance to throw money away in the very unlikely possibility that my win and it's like I grew up in Orlando and there's the EAST West Expressway and the toll road, and they said when they built it in the early eighties that once it was paid for that, take the tools down, but then over. Did it just, but now they raise the prices and it's like that lottery casino thing: it's like you can sell it to the people and then they'll fucking forget ten years from now

into her established that money is coming in, and it's very difficult to stop that the no one ever land in the fridge. I want to make things free now. Would you ever has enough, especially when it's like nine bucks, a pop with you go over the GW, I think in New York. Now it's like. I I'm good, correct me. If I'm wrong, it's, I think it's like nine dollars, or at least might even be more, but you every you're going there you're getting hit when I was living there. I think it was like seven hundred and fifty or something like that- and I like this is insane like every person that comes over this bridge has to pay seven dollars. It's just to get into the city. That's like some gangster shit. You know, because I lived in Boston in Boston. You could take like toll roads, but you can also get to it like there's ways to get where you didn't have to pay anything. If you didn't go on the mass turnpike like there's ways you go where you didn't have a toll, but there's no way of getting a New York City, less you pay in somebody. You want to take those bridges from Staten Island. You could pay me bitch you're, coming in from you pay me you gotta pay to get in here dog. We can use them. It doesn't cost anything to leave.

I've lived in New York twice and deleted all of my funds. And both times when I moved out of New York as I crossed the free bridge, I thought it doesn't cost anything to leave. Is that listening is it is it to calculate how many people come in? Is it to mitigate traffic and make it like problematic? Is it cost so much money? Maybe a carpool! Today is story sure a big one? It is a big story actually- and I was reminded but you're talking about the George Washington Bridge and when was? Twenty years old, I lived in Washington Heights for a year were share my life. Why just to worship no, I wasn't ready as a comedian. How old me twenty oh yeah? You know it only been on it like three years. You know, I didn't have been doing it three years by the time you're trying I started seventeen base. Would you start Orlando, powerful and Lando produce a couple of good thing and anyway so yeah,

I always swore. If I ever had any money, I would live in New York with style. So when my sitcom was finished, nine thousand eight hundred and ninety nine, I New York City and I got a got- a rockstar apartment in the Wall Street Area did not considered one of the first skyscrapers ever built twenty stories tall. It's at the entrance of where Wall Street the entrance of Wall Street is Trinity, which is right there. Only on the 18th floor, where there marble balconies, I had three marble balconies. I was on this corner unit, just pimp spot three blocks in the World Trade center. Oh, my goodness, sixteen foot tall g xilinx I could lie in my bed. Look up at the World Trade Center It was fantastic, but it was a time in my life. You know that is it ended? Tended I fell. I was angry. I was angry and I was I was. I was searching for meaning and what was important in life and

what was making you angry? I just you know that I had the sitcom and it didn't workout, and then I just you know I wanted to just go focus on being a comedian and live in New York, so the Dalai Lama was going to give a speech for free in central park on happiness, for six months. I had the flyer on my refrigerator. Nothing in the world was gonna. Make me miss the Dalai Lama speech on happiness, so the night before I'm headlining at Caroline's on Broadway, and there were these two puerto rican lesbian strippers and he loved me and they stuck around after the show, and they wanted to talk to me and we're we're talking and then they invited me out with them, and you know what there was the Queen Bee and the other girl other girl was off limits. 'cause she had a boyfriend. I don't give a fuck about the other girl. It was all about the Queen Bee and the other girl was in love with the Queen Bee, because she's making all the

all the decisions and making everything happen so she, the queen, had a car we're driving down to the village somewhere. They said they ecstasy, do I wanna do ecstasy and I'm like hell. Yeah we go to some lounge and we're drinking Pino greasy on ice, and I had never had Pino Grigio my mind. I'd to this day. I love you know, grease YO, because remind any of this evening. It's a perfect you like red wine, is you uh autumn winter thing, but a dry white wine like Pinot Gregio, is great in summer. So we're you know we're drinking and have a great time, and you know after about an hour, you know this ecstasy starts thumping and this girl, the Queen Bee, wanted to go to some dance club. We go to some dance club in Soho. It's packed. I didn't want to be packed dance club. I want to be with these girls. She knew the dj. We get up. These steps were in this price

area. Behind the dj, no one can see us. The deejays, like one thousand and fifteen feet in front, was just like Jammin and the place is packed downstairs, but you can't see it and we got this horse shoe leather couch and we're just tracking and she's got more bottles of pinot gregio on ice and we're just fucking dancing and grinding on each other, and we go back to my apartment and about five o'clock in the morning, something like that and you know we dance on my furniture and playing music and stuff, and got in my bed and honestly there's no sex uh. We we had our bottoms underwear on and it was so tender and just caressing and kissing and tasting a flesh and and touching of private areas and the at one point that Queen Bee got up on her knees and she starts kid, French, kissing this other girl and she's rubbing her mound what she's just kissing her and I got behind this- the behind the queen,

can be- and I just start kissing this big beautiful brown, bulbous acid. I got my hands up on the top curvature of it and I pulled her panties aside stuck my nose in our honeypot just tasting these delicious flesh rose, petals and uh. I overslept- and I missed, the Dalai Lama speech, that sounds better now you win, you win. Why would you? Why would you even think that that would be a bad thing, the Dalai Lama, with the documentary story? But it's not a joke. That's actually a true story story, the download represents an interesting point of view and that's it. You know the idea that Guys really don't need this guy for to find out what happiness is. The idea of A1A one figurehead like that is kind of postures to the idea of enlightenment, the idea, especially if you're dealing with the guys.

This is like a wizard and doesn't fuck. He doesn't get to have sex he's, never had sex. I mean he could if he wanted to, but he thinks it complicates that I feel bad for the Dalai Lama, because Richard Gere always wants to hang out with you can see the Dalai Lama like pulling Richard Gere aside one day going: hey Richard, have you ever considered Scientology Could you imagine the conversations the Dalai Lama must have like Sharon Stone or he's like yeah uh, huh yeah? I can't believe they chose her either yeah I mean yeah, I mean look, yes, I don't watch a lot of movies but you're amazing in basic instinct. I thought you amaze and they didn't If you pull it off and the second one you pulled it off in the second one. Did you see this basic instinct? Two? It's a horror movie it changed from a change from an erotic, film and Sharon. Stone was young too, like like a panic moment. If it yeah

yeah? I did son, I'm a diligent worker when it comes watching stupid shit that I might be able to make fun of she's in it right yeah, but she was like fifty and I'm now joke. Is she show anything like this? You get the whole leg thing, but there's feeling that you get when a fifty year old woman who's trying like really hard to be sexy, like I don't know if she was to did in that way, but when you're fifty you realize set timer fifty you realize it's mostly all bullshit? Ok, what do we do in half? You know if we're going to we're going to find but all this like sold three share that you might get away with when you're twenty. That's because you're you're you're up a spell when you twenty, when a woman is in her young twenties, she so the reason why they have this idea of themself it so inflated, like really beautiful. Girls is because there like match. Pick like you around them. India leg you move who changes you draw twords them you soften your personality or pick it up or whatever you need to get me to like you a little bit more. It's like a drug. It's like a

fascinating erotic draw, but then, when they get fifty and they're still doing the same thing then it's like oh shit, what's wrong with her, oh fuck. So when you see your cross. Your legs is like the real moment of panic. Where I would think about me in my younger days of uh, in that scenario, I would, I would say: ok, I gotta get the fuck outta here. Who is that moment for fifty year old lady shows you her gaper and then closes the legs over and you like nope, I gotta go right now I am going. That is not the way like a healthy, sexually confident year. Old woman would fuck you. I can't believe they did better. Do it again, that's so lame! It's like coming over two lanes so unnecessary. It was uh so unnecessary. You know I mean we're, not Hollywood writers. I going unnecessary ideas. She she well. I think it's like someone is never done stand up trying to craft a joke on this is going to work. You know you don't really have a chance of that it. You just have to put out the

There is a movie and hope that people get it in the first basic jeans to instinct was really fucking. It was well received, it wasn't the best movie in the world, but it's kind of fun. You know Took your your interest and she's sexy as fuck man old chance. Sexy as that fuck, who is structurally perfect, beautiful, beautiful woman and a powerful actress. But when you're fifty Kiki Gabber shut. What else did she do? She? Didn't she didn't start anything lately. I don't know she did liver. She did that ever ever. That was quite a ago. I think she did that one thing they were interviewing her about the earthquake in China and she said that she believed you know she said. Well, maybe it's karma for what they do to Tibet I'm friends with the Dalai Lama's my friend and just like she had apologize for it. I think it faster like one over perfume things or something, but that's just such a crazy way of

sing a bunch of random strangers that didn't which market sentiment. That's a huge market. You go over there and it's funny. You go to Europe, you go to China and you see like huge actors that are. When commercials, but they would never do in the states, Japan, Japan also, but China Anne. What Dinero, like on some coffee thing in ITALY, Robert Dinero easily, like symbol of this, so some little espresso, that's hilarious, wow, that's so weird yeah! Well, I think it's just it seems like Leonardo Dicaprio does commercials in like Japan, and I think I don't believe that you should take anybody's getting away if they fuck up and say something stupid, because I think people can be ultimately save back the truck up and grab the money baby. Why not? Just because they said something stupid, I mean she said a stupid thing. She probably didn't mean it probably didn't realize she has her head so far up in her ass yeah. She would want to her little buddy, the Dalai Lama,

be impressed that exactly means China. China is awesome. Which is stupid thing. This is a really cool place. Man. Well, I'm sure China is awesome. I haven't been, but these are just people. This would be able to diet in earth. It's not harm because right right, but if we listened to it's like saying you know they mean that the United States is a massive place like we know something happened somewhere. It's just you know we're big Land mass yeah. Well, it's it and and the people who died didn't have anything to do with anything that happened to Tibet, so how the fuck is it karma? Others are you say is that in your vision that the emperor is the overlord and he really does have all the p under his spell and they're responsible for his actions as well 'cause. These are just regular. Folks, I was just in New Zealand and the Dalai Lama is coming there. He I think he's there right now he's doing a little toy. He does he's doing a little tour, but he wears red lace. Lingerie underneath it he's

he's doing Like Auckland, Christchurch and Dunedin and it's the happiness thing. So I mean that was. That was like ninety nine, when my story happened. So that guys still the same act still pushing that happiness. Young work nobody's happy, he's the way to be happy is a dress like a wizard and don't fuck, my head? I guess it just seems like you're wasting. Unless I get a light saber from not wearing the rope, it seems like you would want someone to make love to whether it's a man or a woman would want someone gets cold nights, but it's so fun. It's a part of life, it's a part of life is expressing affection through your body feels good you know it's recreational as well. You know even exercise, it's great people say: will recreational sex isn't healthy and we could have recreational sex? You can depend, it can be done. People have done it forever shut up, just 'cause, you can't handle it. People have it's not.

Just touching bodies together. Does it get better when you get older, though, like do the girls finally go yeah, we could just have casual sex. You know, I'm through nice in some in some women, women in different countries have different attitudes, completely different answers, and it's shocking. It's shocking you go to. You know. You've been european countries, they're sold likable lake, much more like a man like a marriage yeah, I like men like they want to do it all. The time too, is I get a lot of american women say I'm gonna break me off a piece every once in awhile like like their dog, treats or something ok, here's you did good You know. You've watched the cars and take out the trash and cut the grass. Alright, here's his little dog treat euro truck so weak. I just think that it's probably because the people that came over here, like the very first wave period there yeah, and I think that that that initial run, that initial thing that started off this country, somehow or another of fiber of it

little fucking, sticks and there's a lot of slut, shaming and there's a lot of like week, angry people that are like pointing fingers and shaming someone for enjoying something they enjoy as well slut shaming- that's the that is all douchebags, any guy that, like you like rails on a girl because she never had sex, slut, shaming, yeah man, that's what it is. It's like a guys, a stud. If he goes out- and we went out to cancun- we had sex with two different girls. Different goes every day was crazy wild. Like Dustin nuttiest weekend ever, but if a girl, because you fucked two different guys for a week, you look any fucking, whore you're, probably going to get aids you're going to This is my brother. I kill you bitch. You know what I mean: it's like it's ridiculous people should be able to do whatever the fuck they want to do, but for some women they know that that backlash, and not just from men but that backlash from women too, because if women are out there giving it up, you know like this fucking horse will just fuck anybody.

Is there going to fucking marry 'cause, she just fucks everybody. Those kind of women had to make the world go round. They do you need a mama. They keep a lot of guys happy Well you not, so you need to be a lot of savage killers and in a fucking lunatics in this country. If you know with more fucking more dudes That would help a large is still just a little more. You know legal aspects to Cheryl prostitution would help a lot. I think, legalized, you managed legalized prostitution. I think it's probably lower the crime rate. I really do I mean it's theoretical, don't go like fucking sighting. The study could island does in the the the women have to be tested every like six months and it's they pay taxes as well. It's you know, did you see those two women that were retiring, that and for like fifty years ago, when was that? Do you see that no God put put on yeah yeah? I don't yeah, I don't I don't want to. I don't want to shame them, so it's not sure there for their images, but then, when they went in to sign

it was so depressing. They just anybody came to the door for like fifty the answer them girls. Third, there, when sisters, just retired they just sat in the window for like the last fifty years of our oldest prostitutes, unanswered wowza wow is a wowza yeah, it's a different years. We I think we have to recognize that we have a version of how Society is but the rest of the world, which is also exactly like us. As far as like tech, Ology civilization laws money exactly, I mean basically you're you're in Europe. Their systems are different. You know the the languages are different, but everything is modern. You know, if you're, if you're in call Canada or if you're in Berlin. Everything is super modern. Everything is like we live. A time where that, like there's, never been like more equality as far as.

Like access to information right, we all we all of this same tools, I mean, if you have, if you can afford some certain basic things. You know computer as far as like in information, but as far as money, it's probably like the widest gap. Ever Isn't that weird, it's as far as money like there's like a small core group like the more than one percenters who have most of the money and then everybody else that's kind of fascinating. You would think that maybe eventually that trend will even out you know, I don't know 'cause it's it's like the only way if you looked at- and this is obviously not not looking at the system- logically or even educated, with an educated opinion of this financial system. But if you looked at it logically, and you you step back and you saw well ok this way, one percent has all this money, but how much access to information is there? Oh, it's not totally transparent. Yet when it becomes transparent,

these. Ninety nine percent are going to realize how these one percent got so much fucking money and I'm going to go wow. You can't do that and then every going to agree yeah. They can't do that right now. They can't do that. Jesus fucking Christ, who let them do that. That's when there's one hundred percent accountability when you're going to be able to be you absolutely sure what someone hasn't hasn't done. That's common you think. So I don't. I don't think they'll ever be the transparency where you can see that I think that's the workings of the one percent. I think it's gonna, I I think I think they've got they've mastered the game, they got. You know the houses in Switzerland or wherever the fuck they live and but I think technology is the the the biggest fear that the biggest rival in the building on a helicopter pad you don't have to. You know even be in an elevator with the under classes. But what I'm saying is I don't think they're going to be able to maintain it anymore because like where is your money? Where is it zero box? So you can go to now. It's all ones and zeros on

pewters. Now your money is essentially just a confidence game. It's like what do you have to have the things that you bought with money, but that money is just like so sitting somewhere like is either in stacked in bills, which is equally breard. You give a bunch of notes and that's that's your money. What happens at burns need have nothing what it? What we're is the value like? What is this? You can't replace some say have burnt my one million notes. Can you give me new notes? You don't have a number to off like a fucking hotel, key that you lose, so you don't you don't have a Scrooge duck room where roller, if you're going through stuff, I was just perfect name in the room. Just along with just a couple of grand, you can go over all around make it rain on yourself. I think the more information comes out, the more access, the more control the average person has over their own domain. The less

likely you're going to have one percent of the people with most of the wealth doesn't make any sense does it seems like that's not, tell the people would let it be. They would figure out a way around that like that seems like that's. Obviously, someone exploited the sis then they made it an unfair competition gee. This isn't like an even exchange anymore you're, getting this insane amount of revenue as oppose to the rest of the population. If you look at it like this massive group of people Bank, here's industrials like this is an insane amount of money. There's only fifty you fuck heads like hold on annual party together and wife swap, and you have fucking key parties and shit they're like air force, pilots there out there flying until they run out of gas going full gangster making billions like that. Bernie made off cock sucker when

within the snack. Thank you. I do fighter pilot there. They, like full game, runs out. They know that as soon as like this and Wikileaks for the whole world, it was soon as I everything and like it's full one hundred percent transparency and then ultimately voting on the internet. That's gonna, kill them all one world voting on the internet. No government voting on the internet is going to be where it's at, because it's going to get to a point where people are going to realize that, like there in order to keep everybody from being crazy, there has to be a balance, and until you balance it out, people going to be crazy because there's going to be an echo It is going to be people that are eaten dirt. Sandwiches and the people are throwing half the food away because they're lazy and fat- and they did just take for granted that the food at the store in the morning when they get up- and I think that that into into yet that balances out, there's always going to be some chaos, there's always that has to be the only way that's going to balance out is if everybody has free access to resources. It's like a non capitalist idea. It's a stoop

idea because the reason why capitalism works is 'cause, it rewards effort and effort is what creates things you know the harder you work, the reward? You get the more you become a baller, but the problem, and it's a lot of those ballers they go. I like were again, but I don't like working this hard. How is rigged this thing so just continues to make me money, even though it doesn't make any sense and no ones say anything is on the rich guy. Where you go and that's basically what the fuck happened, it has to be rectified. That has to be. We have to put in a situation. Where are the way we conduct our lives, whether it's finance or government or just behavior, the way we communicate with each other. It makes sense for the information that we have in front of us in twenty thirteen and fucking. The stock market does not make sense with the info that we have in front of us in two thousand and thirteen. It looks like a cray easy chaotic ride, people screaming at each other on the floor, and it's going up and down in a buzzer win rings off. You gotta stop the trades in a certain time like what the

fuck. Are you doing? What do you do and hollering and writing shit down throwing paper at each other and scream. What is the system What are you manipulating it or you're, calling it as it happens? What's it based on is it based on using tangibles just confidences it just. Can you get a bad room? are out there and crash your stock, and then everybody loses what the fuck did. You lose. What was out there? That's a crazy right in our whole system is tight to it. These guys have a bad day and we all go in the toilet and his people like Joe Rogan, you don't understand the financial system and that's their ignorance. That you show on this show is disgusting. I'm so fucking, tired of pseudoscience, right, you're, right, you're, right on all accounts Wall Street always reminds me of the Middle EAST. It's always a bunch of unshaven assholes yelling at the top of their lungs. I had some friends from back in Boston that went into stock markets. They went into doing that, and so there were there a sad. Chisme and they were like crazy, adrenaline junkie savages and they wound up being stock market, guys there

being being do on the floor screaming and yelling. What is it called an agent? What is it called? What do they call them floor do to work traders, no traders trader trader the guys on the floor with the pads. So it's crazy system I don't under, but I lived around Wall Street those a lot of little late night dive bars. All around there. All these days are all down there What is there a system that could be created where money made sense where, like the fine, this made sense where, like I guess like as soon as a company goes public- but just that alone the ability to buy stock in a company and bank that the company does well and if it does well your profit, if it doesn't go well, isn't that gambling is that it seems like gambling to me right today. I know I am willing to kind of this is right yeah, how come? Is it legal from the stock market's legal? I didn't okay like here about Bernie made off. Obviously, what he did was illegal right,

the like? Why isn't that, like you think he's we do think right now, every day he's gobbling balls with his God willing ball? Yes, somebody can certainly paid the war on off. To give you know steak, to the guys who do you think he gets fucked? Oh, I think he's just getting path. You fucked a lot of people who looked a lot of people a lot of really wealthy people. It's amazing, like children, some like some like children's cancer, oh yeah fund or something some. A few really important chair- Oh yeah yeah. He had a few somebody in yeah it's connected in that jail. Then oh yeah. Oh I'm sure he was a real associate tell that guy, apparently, when they arrested him, he didn't fucking, cracker, sweat. Nothing looks like yet Let's go like he knew it was coming and then, when they talk order business they realize it would have done it showed no remorse he's like I'm hungry. I need something to eat. You know like it was

like a while. He was not. He slept well never worried this p wound in the in the in the kind of in tents in tents, funk in pain that he caused who all those people who stole money from noon to well, he was just so sweet path just done by this system. It's amazing the pull that off that's what's amazing. What's amazing is that the system is so wonky, but a guy can just pretend to have money right now. Really, and just do this weird thing where you move sit around hard Monty with you are really into dollars with their money and look your which now you making more money. This is incredible and making more money more money, keep in them when, when you make a study that right now, okay, even the and push it all in, and so all the sudden this disappears on you or or winds up on CNN, and you like for no, I we were gonna. Wait then, is on Thursday. You know they have to be at least one dude who is suspicious like man. I think this do. The crux

they had to be one do, but he was just getting those those monthly checks and he's like it looks good. It looks good here, looks good fuck, just looking at those numbers like like I'm making money here as long as I keep my money and play, I'm making money, I'm just going to honey. Listen. If we push all of our life savings together. We go in for two years is two out of twenty five percent return rate, which is what I've been getting and all sudden CNN that ugly cunt walking across the floor of the courthouse and you like. No, he stole it all. How can that guy get away with that? How is it obviously didn't get away with it, but how did he do it for so long? What kind of system do you have system is crazy need a new gundam system. I agree what to do,

what to do Tom Rhodes as a world traveler what to do 'cause you're, the guy. Would you be more places? You know my thoughts are childish. Man. I think you know the invention of pockets, ruined everything. I think we're happy. We just naked run around on the beach just eating fruit and fucking. You know what I found then, when somebody invented pockets and I'm going to look at the shiny shell and then look at pretty rock and then you start getting all these objects in your pocket and then you for trading with other people and then like somebody invents paper money in it. Oh my god, then it you know, I think you're right, fucking pocket. I think, you're right when everything man, I think you but I also think it's just a stage. We just have to get used to this this. This level of existence you just have to used to it. Pockets are still used to material. You have to get used to managing your obsession with material objects, but it could be managed. It's still better to have am

way, better habits way better! That's what I like about traveling and not living anywhere. As I accumulate a lot less shit, oh yeah, I just don't buy. I mean I have my essentials. You know and the things I have there, the best you know you don't ever You don't have a home base, so you literally you don't have a place. We re charge for a week year and you know and yeah I get my mail sent to somewhere it said somewhere, yeah, so you're just hotel in it everywhere. You go people well, it depends where I met. You know sister yeah. I was going to cancer treatment said you know, brought her family closer together went to Florida. More often the you know last summer I two months all over Europe and then I had a week off and rented an apartment so and then, last November I finish a month in Asia and my wife went to Bali for like two weeks so depends where it where they go into New Orleans. Alot like going to Austin a lot. You know

Do you just do you book yourself? Do you have yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah? You do everything yourself now everything so you don't use an age in or anything. That's so smart at this point: why will they didn't forge the relationships with the international people? I mean I went to those places, so we know why he let some guy send an email and get ten percent. You know right. So do you and then I've been doing my own stuff in the states for like the last five years and you do things of the stand up you just contract because you know I was trying to you know to I'm. You know I've. I've got. I got a podcast I've. I'm try am shooting videos all the time. I you know I was trying to sell this comedy travel show idea. Now I've heard some kind of similar to that are being made the stuff. So I don't know why men using the I'm just I'm just trying to make as much art right as I can, while I'm alive. You know just jokes videos podcasts on I've been writing for the Huffington just like travel stuff, but I want to get my second

great stories. I mean you know the puerto rican honeypot, it's a good story baby. So I'm going to get a book together. You know I'm just I'm. Just a one man comedy art machine and just trying to fucking are going to store your book in the cloud I'm going to have it on you at all times are going to store it in the cloud. What do you mean on your computer? You know any send things up to the cloud 'cause I mean that's more appropriate. Your your ideas to be out there, sir. Over somewhere where you're Roman, across where everybody can the countryside and no it's not everybody, can their password protected, need to actually have a hard cut, like some laptops I don't have much storage on them like a lot of things. People are storing they actually pulling down from the cloud which the problem with that is that you have to have internet. Can no and that's the thing I got. I got me and my old she's a photographer. We both have extra hard drives. We got you know right. I got like three hard drives a travel within just whip stuff on it, and you know they were filming and recording and everything beef

before the big asteroid hit. Everyone probably had their on the cloud and that's why I wouldn't I wouldn't trust, put in some hard liners. That's a recipe for disaster yeah. That would mean look papers, a pretty good recipe for disaster yeah. I mean even the the oldest versions of the Bible that the dead sea scrolls there were actually written an animal skins like they they that's like they have like little pieces of shit. They try to piece to. Weather, because it doesn't last- and that's that's only like four or five thousand years old or four thousand something wrong there I think maybe even a little older, but think about how long? How long would a book last probably wouldn't even last as long as a piece of leather, you know a piece of that you're writing on probably last longer than a book does so I mean how many you know how many years were book last we gotta go back to rock and what the fuck you going to do with little tiny sd cards, you get an s

the card and that's where you're, storing all your shit. You know like what is who's going to future they're, going to find out what the fuck is this whenever that is now for us, like arrow heads were like what did you imagine if it was like some avatar shit like not only was it in Arrowhead, it was also like you put it on the right stone it would glow and you tuning. The mother Gaia most arrowheads just had porn on it. Terror attack, I was getting fucked by chicks movie. Avatar was so that movie avatar was so fascinating to me, not just because I love the movie, but because all those people that got avatar depression, oh yeah, living up in the thing. No, the people, the people who watched it they got an avatar. Fresh ink as they wish their life was as noble and real as the Navi well. Yeah was really fascinating because it was like a condition that was like getting repeatedly diagnosed. They were client, avatar, depression, half tongue in cheek, but in half not. I think that just

brilliant marketing move for the Blu Ray release of avatar. You might be right, yeah, that's! Why did Brian thinks so well? As far as like a overcoming like obvious fakes on the internet, he's like the master at spotting bullshit on the internet, I've never met anybody. Who's got we were ever write any of us River right all the time, but you are like a sort of like videos or pictures you're like ninety nine percent right. Well, you know we have been finding out a lot. Lately is a new one, and I don't know if this is mostly probably based in LOS Angeles, but there's these guys that go to parties that act like normal people, but they have to do something like like. I know somebody that got fired game yeah. I know they got hired to go your meth head and you need to go to the bathroom like every five minutes and just make it be obvious at the party and you just kind of be normal, but just kind of like the big beast,

ready and stuff like they just invite like situations to parties like this whole area. So it's like a gig for actors, it's giving reactors. Could you have a party and some asshole hires a comic actor to come over and pretend it is? meth head and it keeps like slamming your bathroom door and putting on a show and he's actually getting paid to do that. But you know the guy and he's done a really good actor yeah. He half wait a minute and look. What are you doing? Man? Did you sell the scene as a you know, believe it you got to believe in the men's guide. You not doing enough right now. Do not crazy, no, no you're! Not there is also got he a guy that does like overly gay at party, where he's just super super day in he's a real gay guy, but he does overly yeah and the right amount of IRAN. American, our server gay friends just to spice up parties, because you know like some parties are just like Adam Roaches and that's what people who don't have comedy in the

things like they do. They need to hire colorful characters in this life. It's hard to find good conversation out there in America. It's hard. You could look up on the wrong fucking little corner of the world and be stuck on this little circular. What are those things called at the end of driveways? The end of a road cul de sac you can be, but it called a sack with two boring mother fuckers, and they just I was caught in a call the sack with two, these two dummies in one really nice guy. Who is strange, but two just straight dummies. I just got outta dog, ok and his dog was like this creepy dog was always out. He didn't really have a fence, he had a sort of little fence, but there's a hill, so the dog could go up the hill and around the fence. There's no fence was bullshit, you know and his dog was creepy like you go out the dog with Groucho and shit any bit, somebody was over, the guys House is painting, and so oh, I love dogs. I mean I fucking love so that dogs, my whole life. So when I think of dog is creepy,

because I know it's a radic, you know it's not. I. I have a deep love for dogs, so I I went to this dude's house in like hey, I go the dog, I go, he's he's not just getting out man. I go he's like really being aggressive unease ground. Maybe what? What? What want to look into this and see? Was it your your dog got out attack me? It just makes up a story about my dog getting out attacking MIKE yeah, you, okay, it would have. Then my dogs, nine, he was ninety dot, zero. Ninety pound dog that wants to attack us Pitbull that wants to attack you that you're not going to you're not going survive that and if you do survive that you're going to be horribly torn apart, mean you might be able to get to a fence and shut it will I don't think he's going to let go, I think, is going to tear you apart. I really don't see you surviving that so when you're, fat guy who smoke cigarettes and you're telling me, dog attacked you and you held him down by his neck sky was telling me I held him down by his naturally calm down. We calm down would that take a year

going to hold a pitbull down by the neck and they're going to calm down. Do you know anything about dogs? You got your fucking mind like this. Is the DOW the story ever, but I got sad 'cause I was like this guy is. This is his reality, his reality is instead of dealing with his problems and like going hey, you know we gotta put this crazy dog down. This dog is going to bite somebody dogs creepy, sounds wrong with our dog instead of that he just put blinders on and making up stories now you. Could you could be that guy? You can be put on blinders on and making up stories. Anybody could be that guy make make up your reality. Is it's going on, so that was my fault. Neighbor and I could see that fucking dummy everyday and you'd. Ask me stupid questions about stupid shit. That's why you talk to your neighbors man. I do not follow those rules. I live next to these nuts golf fence. Guys that go to like Renaissance Festival's and like they seem like nice people, but

to go in that world. I don't want them to it. Now, like knock on my door went and just like hey would you doing Brian? I don't want any of that. I don't want any conversations with anyway yeah. I moved into my house ten years ago, on my neighbor the moment, I moved in, they started sending these notices that they wanted me to cut my trees down. They wanted to cut my tree so that they could see like some lights in the distance from behind, where I guess, if you see through my trees, you can see some lights they wanted me to chop the trees down like like just right. When I move in not not here's a cupcake that my wife baked welcome to the neighborhood, you know hey we're going to be sharing space together on this planet. I'd like to your hand and say you know you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar ha ha, I'm right over here. That would be nice right now, instead of his Dick head wants to bring me in front of some homeowners associate of a reason why I'm the reason why I bought the house is the beautiful trees. I love trees.

I want to chop him down, so he can see the lights and then, when I do finally find where I want to live there, going to be no homeowners association, yeah all their homeowners associations are always it's always assholes. They try to tell my friend that he couldn't put solar up in his yard and he was like. Why can I put solar up in my yard and they say like oh it's unsightly and this that, but there's a California state law Homeowners associations cannot stop you from putting up solar power. If you you're a smart person. You have the shackles which I'm not smart, cuz. I haven't done it, but you're goofy you're not be like having your house hooked up solar in California, there's the greatest resource we have were so low on resources here, except for sunlight sunlight. We have a massive abundance oven, you could power your whole fucking house, Easy Peasy with with solar in this country, are in this state. Rather it's so easy here in Seattle, it's going to be a bitch, but you know what I found

when you're. In Seattle, we were in the Fucking woods Man and this dude had solar panels on the roof of his car and is raining and it's gloomy and the solar panel still pull solar power. Even when it's gloomy I'm in Seattle, there's still pulling. Charging his batteries and he was watching tv is fucking, crazy, awesome, I mean that we've been hoodwinked, just thinking that that's not a good way to get your enerji, especially around here. It's the best way to get your enerji. I had a a pot growing friends who used to live in you, Kaya Kaya, you guys amazing. It's like an hour north of San Francisco, Mendocino County Switzerland up and this guy loved weed so much he had his own pot farm, but he you know the DEA. Would they look for big patches? He he would plan 'em in little. Inches along treelines and he loved weed. So

She got out there with a shovel and put in a sprinkler system where it was timed and you know, and he was totally living off the grid. Had you know big These are caught rainwater or you know whatever, and then he had solar panels on his roof. Guy would completely lived off the grid and everything wow and he had a heart attack and died like two years ago out there yeah good, that's a good to go well yeah I mean I missed it. Yeah I mean it was good. We got all the guys living off the grid living like a man collecting rainwater, and you know what I mean if you're going to go out there in the wilderness, where it's beautiful and you're with nature. And you pass on to the next dimension. That's that's a good way to do it. That's good! Ok! I would selfishly missed my friend and when I would visit him, he'd give me like a pound of weed and I would drive back LOS Angeles, with my

who's control set on fifty four everybody. Everybody compelling I'm going fifty four right here, so terrifying. We've got weed in your car in your driving to terrifying feeling and we're so it's so lax here in California. I have friends that you know live in California, but then they do gigs other places and they'll forget like if you get busted with weed Texas right, the arrested, Willie Nelson You know: Willie Fucking, Nelson, their state, icon yeah got my your grand father going to rest, your grand father 'cause he likes to get high wow. That's the dumbest shit. I've ever heard. That's the dumbest use of serve and protect ever that he's fucking crazy that Willie now dare smoothie right, he might write some more great songs might be out there playing that guitar. That was fucking happy, but Willis Anti all other drugs, the people that work for him. There's the saying among people to work for Willie, if you're wired you're fired well, that's weird doesn't tolerate any chemicals and shit well,

most Kaiser is a weed guy, but those type of like speed dudes are nightmare. Speed people are a nightmare right b, spell because their their sense of judgment gets whacked out. That's one of the reasons why they get caught like they caught this guy. Who was a lawyer. It was in Esquire orgy, one of those manly men magazines where it's okay to read it, and this dude a lawyer and then he did something with meth and Maybe it was like, based on the a client that he was working with, taught how to make math and then the guy just was making buckets of it as basement basement just just like he was nuts, You know. The cops eventually came over his house in Fenton Smith in his basement like. Why was he he's acting so crazy like everybody knew something had to be going on. Like the guy had zero, his ability to make judgment calls was gone. So you would never want to cut the grass for in the mornings things like that, if you're an old hippie willing Nelson with your gray, ponytail and use it,

now they're trying to write a song, and you got this dude working for me and he's bouncing off the fucking walls, climbing trees and shit. You know it's a nightmare that would be at some zombie shit. Math math is scary. You know anybody in my mind, I was the the older people that had kicked it and told me that they had done it. No, I know it's yeah, that's! I know a few people really seems that seems nasty and then it is for everybody. When you travel around American the rural areas on the side of Barnes, there's advertise, you know like yeah math, destroys families and lives in like in even like above gas pumps like you drive the Middle America. There's these so apparently middle America is just meth, crazy, yeah there's a real problem with rural areas, where there's nothing to do yeah. Let's stay up all I think it's one of those might learn a language play chess. I think it's.

Things you could be doing it's really hard to. Let go. I think once it gets yet it's got. MIKE you need need something like real physical detoxification are going to give you an iv make sure you not dehydrated like you, you could get your body gets wrecked because just redlining change. So when you, when you get off your body. Just like. Oh my God you just burnt it cooked it. You have anybody that used to do like wasn't into math and then started, math yeah I've met a couple people and they lose like a good percentage of their ability to like be a normal person. The chunk and they're always going to be a little wacky. Just a little wacky some do is get through. A font was a few mma fighters that had math problems and then had like real issues with it and then like almost died and then became incredibly DISA

because they would like been to the edge and pulling themselves out of that and then recognizing that they have a problem and the v turn right around, be the drying completely. So now they resolved in like never be defeated again. Six, my toughest guys in in and then mail like. That is a few guys and had like Court Mcgee, who is who won the ultimate fighter. He had a like real substance. Abuse problem is actually brought back. He was resuscitated. Well, yeah, it's fun! When was last time, you heard about that from weed due date of pot brownie and I'd write, you know now, but we just accept that a certain amount of people guy had a pot brownie and really enjoyed Spiderman three, the best sex. Ever if you haven't fucked on pot cookies or pot edibles, you really don't even know what sex feels like this is like the same thing between eating and I Sunday high and eating an ice cream.

So over such a completely different experience I completely totally different, but but sacks and pot cookies, just the trick cranks the whole thing up the wall. Every every sense, just fire and crackle crackle and you freaking out, can you believe you're alive, you're weirded out by sex in the first place, we make it up baby, what's going on here? Well, You were a talk, show host in Amsterdam when everything was illegal here, but everything is legal there. What the fuck was that, like. I cried myself to sleep every night. Well, it was terrible Joe. You know Tom and I've been friends, for a long time, we we first, I knew about

but I didn't meet you until we did a thing in New York when we were both on tv. The same time you had the time roadshow and I had news radio thing, but it was like right away. I could tell you were like a real comic right. We had a like a few. We have a few words back and forth and back and forth like this month. This is a real comic, and after the show you know a couple years later, hey here, Tom Rose is doing a fucking talk show over in HOLLAND in Amsterdam, and he not even doing it. As Tom Rhodes he's like playing a character and were like that sounds like Tom rose that sounds like something Tom Rhodes would do just fucking out there doing it just out thanks to style. It was awesome, and I was like one of the best experiences of my life. What was it called again because then it well? It was there that you haven't masters, show at the first and nobody they didn't any magazine. Newspaper interview, I did they would say. Well I who

Why is it Kevin masters? Who is Kevin Masters, and I would always say I don't know- then stay came up the idea we're going to get an American we're going to do this american late night talk show I'm sensors. So did they ask you to? with that name. No! Well! No because- and I never went along with it, I would never have whenever anybody would say Kevin. I would say my name's Tom, I never I yeah it's. I spent my life trying to establish my name and I can, if I can right so, that's like, so it was silly, so then seasons, two and three. It was Kevin Masters starring Tom Rhodes, although that's nice, so at least they gave me the this to start there, but it was it was you know the once in a lifetime experience That would be like I wanna move here for this girl. This love story and I was playing in Europe, allow primarily London. I was flying back and forth to London every other weekend. And all the gigs all over Europe and it didn't work out with this girl, but I had fallen in love with HOLLAND and Europe,

and I got this amazing television- do you want to stay and post your own show- and I grew up watching Carson and Letterman, and you know to be that guy coming out from behind the curtain- three thousand dollars suit and We stand on the x and you get the dear Little the minute monologue? Then you walked to the desk and you banter, with your musical host, which I had one little hip hop guy name, life and then you do a skit using the Iphone APP it could be you know you do a skit and then first guest and then my favorite part of the show every episode I would get to make a five minute film, where I would experience something of dutch culture. One day I spent on a dutch farm with a farmer, and I walked into a Patrick fence. He said look out for the electric fence in Dutch, but I don't speak Dutch, so somebody get electrocuted. This alert. How bad is it? It was it's it's it's not that bad can cook your dick off. No, but it did make

jump like a mo fo articulate literally cook your deck off some of the things I got it. I got a tour of the you know. The red light district in the the sex laws were explain to me. The is given a tour of gay Amsterdam by the guy that does the gay parade. I got to cover the Prime Minister debates that by strikers incredible- and I was on the floor with a press badge a microphone and I'm talking to their most powerful at their most important political leaders. That's where, like I couldn't even meet the governor of my state in in in in the United States yeah. Unless you were lucky, you were standing there and they were really cool moments. You know tenacious d came over and I've the great one of the that five minute film. I gave them a tour to Amsterdam, that's on Youtube, we show in tenacious d around you know what else on Youtube. There's a video. I think it's on Liveleak. Actually Brian tell me if this is real, these two dudes, they piss on electric fence and we both get electrocute

the same time. Oh yeah, have you seen it yeah? That's totally true. Pull that up. Could you think it's funny watching a dude walk into an electric fence check out what it looks like when two dude piss on electric fence? At the same time, that shit hurts so bad touching. It is ridiculous. It's hilarious, I didn't know what would happen. I wonder I wonder if the are okay, probably right, imagine the amount of force that goes through your cock. I wouldn't chance that what if it makes your dick numb forever, you shouldn't do things that, like tamper with the performance clean up that I'm talking about don't piss on electric fan: tattoos, no piercings, no Dick pills, yeah, those dudes, it split their dick. That's and it looks like one of those hotdogs you put on a Weber, microwave microwave, my dog just explode. It's when you split you split like first people like hot dogs. Sandwiches like there was more like a back e sort of a thing you know you get here is watch this stupid folks. They both get on home

I gotta piss on something: do you have to go somewhere and piss here knows that when they piss they don't just they don't just? like pull their pants down and piss on the ground. They have to find some things away is a male thing, totally yeah. This is a military fence too. So I'm sure it like this pop, Oh god, damn it hurt, oh my god, oh my god, that's only one guy there's another one would see right when his stream hits the electoral that's a faint. He felt like another invite fell like a tree, hey man, what the fuck makes people faint was having this conversation the other day with a friend what it, what is it that makes people faint yeah, any idea the Beatles? What is the mechanism that uses force protecting from something like? What do you? What? What is what people think wild goats did? The fainting goats? I don't have you know about those? Yes go. Three, I I think is used as a as what you just said:

sense mechanism, defense mechanism, but humans. I think it's something to like. Maybe blood, running too fat. Do you know your hard or something like you know what I mean like might be so like that it seems like if something was trying to eat you and you just fall down and play dead, that's a terrible strategy, but what the fuck do. I know nature. You know why I really want to make the platypus nature or I had to get what they you talking to about fainting with, what you was he making this. I can't a girl that I dated a long time ago had a real problem with needles. So it's either needle in a movie, and she would just pass on my God and I was like? I was like trying to figure. I go to something happened to you like what what was it. Well not she apparently when she is young, she had some sort of a really bad infection and they had to give her a bunch of shots like a bunch of shot and apparently it it just hurt like Hell, and it just traumatized her. But then she told me that her dad was a doctor

and her dad would faint Her dad had like a service like that. He was dentist actually, but he was he would faint. He would see his son. His son had like blisters on his face because he he was out in the sun. Sunburn, sunburn, so badly, starting with little blisters in his face. The father saw it just falls down passes out, like wow That would be hard to be a dentist and not be able to give a shot, but I guess it has to do with it being his son and he couldn't take it. Because is his kid and you know the love that he has for his boy and he sees them, hurt and damage the freaks out and just like this is too much and just completely checks out. I want to give a shout out to my dentist, Dr Pellerin the man just retired he's been our little family dentist in our in Florida for years. So that's great. This guy could give a shot Oh my God slaying artist, just an artist the way it didn't hurt, and now this person who's replaced him ruthless,

not as good to Jabl, building right yeah Gabby with that fucking needle already. Did you see this shit about these storm chasers, the cotton that hurricane or the tornado weather? I think it's all, some for flash. Second there, those dudes that were on that show storm chasers. No, there are killed on the got killed by a tornado. Well, yeah the the let's kind of Steve Irwin isn't a little bit, but no because what these guys were doing was measuring the the a city in the wind and how far it takes like they were. They were recording data that we have machines yes, and no I mean I think you have to go there. I on it with this litmus to register with the speed of the wind and like that, I think like it varies in you know like where are where you are from close to far, and I think they make those calculations based on a lot of data that they take in the feet. As far as I know, there's a great benefit to the doing it like that. Well,

that Oklahoma City should I was amazing. I was in New Zealand when that happened, and just like you know story was unfolding You know news goes round north instantly, but you need a mile wide path rip into the city, just the devastation. It's insane do, member Joplin, Missouri yeah. I've got that we got wiped out. It's like literally, do exist anymore, right, it's it's, and if you look in those older town, yeah I'd pass do die Houston. When I did the road, I drove the job on a few times and it was like a brush. Like a mile wide brush, just just like a big horse, hair brushes, just scrubbed it right off the face of the world. It's just it's incredible thing that the wind, under certain conditions, can reach that kind of a frenzy. It's it's! It's really so shocking, like our com world, that we live in for the most part, is

it's so different than what happens with a fucking tornado comes it's just so hard for us to rap our heads around it. Fuck tornadoes do. Did you ever see that it? You ever see the one from Dallas, or it's throwing semis in the are semis spinning around in a circle like leaves for awhile, it's insane they're, just flying through the air. Eighteen wheelers just flying through the air, it's throwing around trucks and even more it doesn't even drop, was just spinning around MR got them moving like tempted, twister moving mister twister. What's your name, a head set of wet t shirt on the scene, Helen Hunt: that was that was it that's the thing about New Zealand that I really enjoy. They are really there's a nice filter of move, the brightness of negative negative news: they don't they don't get in New Zealand, they don't

although, like the Middle EAST, doesn't even exist within their news. You don't hear any stories about Syria or Israel. You know in the United States it's always shootings and bombings and disaster. No shit in New Zealand. The newspaper is like a sheep got in the road, you interviewed Kim dot com. Will you there when you interviewed him so interview in person? Yes, I want to meet that guy. So he's a fascinating. You would love the guy and you but you should listen to the conversation I did with him. He's really articulate really and the guys really funny too he sees he's, got a great sense of humor. It was remarkable. I did the NPR of New Zealand radio. New Zealand and the woman asked me. You know what would you like to do while you're in New Zealand and I said I'd like to meet Kim and a few hours later he followed me back on Twitter and I looked at his twitter thing and you get an email and I sent him a nice email and said I'd like to do

Well, I think he's really fascinating yeah and he's really trade in the american media is so I kinda you know bon the villain, you know you know bad person, but I think the guy manipulated the strengths of the tools he was working with when the internet came one and he's the reason. A lot of rules were put into place. He you know what he totally straightened me out, because I the misconception that I thought the website they upload that he made all the money from. I thought. Oh, that's like the knappster of movies or something you know. I never use it. I didn't know what it was and he corrected me said: no, They never had a search engine thing you couldn't type in avatar and find avatar, whereas the knappster you could search in Metallica Zeppelin, and then get all this stuff, so they never had that it was people sharing files like kind of drop box or something you know, and he didn't know what was uh.

People were trading or sharing and he's a fascinating guy man. I send an email, he invites me to his mansion and it was on the last day. I was there, so you know I was from from his house to the airport, I only got to talk to him for an hour, but just Wonderful man invites me into his home, and just you know, the guy is, I think, is kind of like an internet. Visionary he's got a lot of great thoughts about where the inter it's going and and then in the United States is trying to extradite him. Are they really yeah What is the charge piracy? I guess it have

S Dvr ever like hey, you, wanna watch like all these homemade porn from every single person has ever up loaded this one meg upload, which is what I was only there, are no, I didn't. I didn't get easy layups their bills are going to be good at the Gonna, be fat dude with their tongue out in their car right in front of the lens. That's we're going to see if you tune in the people's he's, got you guys got a beautiful wife he's got like five kids he's a game, man, the guy loves games and he has rate movies. I was a fan his way back in the day he had a really cool website. He was like one of the first guys that had like this really like high, let personal website? And it was all like you, an animated feature where I think was Milosevic? Who is the? Evil God, Milosevic yeah? I think it was him that he was he was killing in his in his are cartoon that he had on his website like it was like all flash animated like really bad. What was it called?

forget, strong back him is Kim dot com and find it. I don't even know if he was calling himself Kim dot com back then. I think it was just called himself Kim, but his website was like genius. It was like really high level shit. My friend Andrew turned me on to it. He was like you got look at this guys website, like this guys website is on another level, Went to this like woo right, he was on top of the internet game from the beginning. This is like late 90s, I think, maybe yeah, maybe two thousand at the most. So it was a fascinating fucking website back then. So this guys like Ben at the frontline the internet for a long time that was when he was doing like he was a hacker. And then he went into security and he was doing like security for big companies. That's what he said. He got busted and then he got hired by like eighteen. His fist stories fast net right now, something right. The only thing I didn't get to ask him is: who do you want to put you in the movie the ease

He was a hacker first and then he got good call and then he got hired by eighteen t and all these companies to for him to explain. You know the workings of their system and how someone? get in. I mean yeah. I would imagine you need that if you're a fucking bank right yeah little it's amazing that they allow you to bank online, but you can't vote online. That's that's hilarious will see it's too dangerous. Can ensure the veracity of this transmission. Two dangerous voting online folding is to import bunch of money. This is more convenient I can try. Thing about his early cartoon stuff. Anyway, I had a great conversation with him for an hour and he's very generous for him to do that, and the guy loves comedy, pull up versus Miloshevic I don't know how to spell that, and I you know I I I I guess I have found a very humorous and a good do. I yeah. I was looking at him in his eyes and and

asking him whatever. I felt like what do you think the argument is. Do you think the argument is that people should be able to share files and then, if you buy something, you should be able to put it online. Other people should be able to pull it down if they want it and nail upload something that they bought. But as long as someone is buying the original thing and uploading it, then it's not theft. That's what a lot of people feel a lot of people feel like it long as I'm not actually taking some of those paid for once you share it. Yeah I don't know I think they're going to limit it as much as they possibly can, but I don't think they'll ever to you know with drop box and all these days technology is it. It would be impossible to totally stop yeah, but what I'm asking is like what is his argument like You know when guys in the I give you you my I leave you my I pod with my mess of music collection. You know I'm not supposed to take I'm supposed to like say no, I'm gonna give this back to the RCA roads pay for all these songs and well, I didn't know you liked yeah fancy, Cline whatever you get, my hat man fucking rock- that Patsy Cline, but yeah who's to say right. It was to say,

happens to it after you know, they'll never be able to control that everything being paid for. What's Kim Dotcom's argument like this, he thing that things should be that way that you should be. No. You know when this is me speaking. I think he did is the reason a lot of rules were put into place. So you know now he's his website. You know he's, complying with businesses. I know like in New Zealand. They feel like the guys kind of being persecuted by the american government. He thinks like the. Hollywood studios that backed Obama's campaign they're, the ones that wanted you know, perpetuate this and have him dated in face charges and he's you know, and if he is made an example of than other internet hacker, whatever people, right. It sends a message to those people. You know yeah. That makes sense. I mean they'd.

Definitely do that with entertainers that get caught will not paying their taxes like, like blade, they put him in jail. Well, they put Wesley snipes in jail for three fucking years, have to pay it back there like yeah. No, I mean you couldn't even did and say: hey. You owe us money and since you lost in court now you have to pay it plus a fine they're like no we're going to take your freedom publicly for three years and lock you in a cage as your knee the early 50s. It's not going to be so fun and then, when you get out we'd like all that money back, please, then we get out. Call your way back and then he a little aged as an actor. You know with it without you So unless he's putting on plays in the jail, he might lose his jobs a little bit. Staying sharp all that, but you should listen to my podcast with him down to how do I get it? Itunes, Tom Rhodes, Radio, Tom Rhodes, radio why'd, you choose that name, because I thought I could play whatever I wanted and I

Take like sound clips from movies and like when I talked with comedians I'll, put little snippets of their stand up in there and stuff you're going to run into problems. Doing that I know, and I've tried I I don't have any commercials, it's free, okay, so free so so that our ladder in you know that's what I did at the beginning and that's why I called it Tom Rhodes, radio, but now I don't do movie clips or anything I'll, just I'll take some stand up. You know somebody didn't know like Hedberg or something he comes up. In conversation, perfect example, you noted a little sliver of couple of his. Looks so it's just I kind of approach it like If I was a university professor teaching a master class in comedy. You know it's, it's. There's a lot of comedians, but a lot also interesting people do people I admire. You know like I He admired Kim dot com. I sent him a message. I got in touch with. Do you edit it all yourself

uh, my wife helps me ok. So what do you use to put everything together? What's the pro tools, what do you use? Just garage band that's it stop. It altogether is concrete, anybody can do. You can be your own internet mogul now you've got technology, you don't have that's the video. This is I mean I want to say, like good work right. It can't be any later than 2000c used to call self Kim there was just Kim expert Kim. I don't know what his actual real now. Kim Schmidt, but this is him. He was like a character. He makes he makes rap songs and dance songs. Does the mega car? How do you would I remember he had a whole thing. Yeah, like the guy gets out. He gets on a speedboat. He just letting you know he's a bad mother fucker. He takes his fast car to diva, faster boat now run? Bitch was Peugeot MIKE James Bond up in this motherfucker so he's

flying around on the water in his boat. Any press is the eject button. So this was, I guess, is obsession with all things mega yeah look. Any lands on the bottom of this helicopter lands on a building. Microsoft is having sex with the building is sliding down the building. Belize bill, gates, he's going to shoot bill gates. What a great idea- oh, my god, my god. Oh, my god. It guns down bill gates, Bill gates, that's brutal! Look how many times you shoot, no damn it. This is. This is for Windows Maine so bill gates is peeing on the ground. It turns out. He didn't actually shoot him, but he shot around him. The word Lennox Healing, And that's so funny wow,

That's not the one that I saw, I saw I'm glad he didn't, kill bill gates, yeah. I thought he was killing. Those like that was really twisted. Yeah he's though these were all long time ago. This is like a there was nothing like that on the internet, and people were doing on their own website is really strange, anyway, yeah. Do you? Do you do your you just edit it all yourself and put live or put up a nineties, be don't do like a lot, you stream version or in sounds loud, and let me you stream version like under a video video. I do. I will I'll take little snippets of video. Put it on you, too, bye my Youtube channel as king of how King of Haha- and it sounds like a middle like that business, Stanhope Ones- and I didn't I didn't film, Kim dot com I felt so privileged to be in the guys house. When I got there, I was enjoying just me even the guys so much I I actually said we don't need to do this right.

I'm just happy to meet you right and I actually you know I was just so glad to be sitting there talking to the guy and then he no? No! No, you know you know, please, you know if you want to. If you want to record the act of doing a podcast, makes conversations happen that might not necessarily have like like you and I we might go, have dinner somewhere, but I might take a phone call, you might go to take a leak. You know we're not going to sit down for three hours and just drink coffee and smoke. A little weed, and just talk like this, like it's almost like you need this vehicle pudding on a show to get it out there. You know yeah it's cool, but my my wife, also she she she films a lot. I've filmed a lot, so we have great stuff with stand open it's the one. We want to win for you, yeah, I'm they're coming out a little faster. Now I've got a lot of back episodes was it man? It's that's the beautiful thing about podcasts all you really need. If you want to do an audio podcast, especially you just need an Iphone and you can we've done ones where Brian, what kind of

editing did you have to do when I did those podcasts on the plans you have to do anything to it. Now I just cut off the the the beginning in and then just so amazing, and if a commercial, this sound of the plane, wasn't yeah, it's kinda cool yeah, it's kinda cool! It's in the background. And then the I go. What would I do? Is I hold the Iphone which will like me and Joey? Are me and Duncan me in our your call Brian, and we fifty one branch never do. Podcast on the plan. We should have that Lego, regular episode. We do gigs do podcasts on a plane, absolutely yeah. I did it. I did the Austin Moon Tower Festival is the common yeah. It's great. It's in Austin right, there's a second year and I love ARI. He's awesome! Oh my god. His face makes me happy enjoy guys. I enjoy his company. So much and I did I sat down and I was having a great conversation with him for my podcast and then Marin walks out because we're on these balconies at the hotel and the Marin sits down and then

you know comes all about Mary about marriage, but I've got great video didn't really. That is really what happened was yeah, but is great in the thing because I was having this great, I didn't know, or he had been like orthodox and that he had lived in Israel and that's amazing story. I'm asking him all these things that, like I just you know, what's the Quigley sideburns mean Does the tassel on the pants thing mean: what's with the big fuzzy hat so far is like art is totally knocking him down is totally school in me. And on all these these questions that I had and then Merrin comes out there. It is, did Marin he was supposed to be there or they just come in here and do we were recording the first like twenty minutes, so just the conversation in front of a laptop and then he's probably in the Groove now he's a funny cat and he's become a different dude? It's interesting, it's cool watch. The guy finally dropped some of the anger like getting success, yeah it's great when somebody is still still getting into people he

Michael Ian Black in him, going back and forth on twitter, or they will Michael Ian Black dominating Marin on Twitter over a little. I don't believe, that's real, I don't I don't I don't. I don't think that was here for I've done it before yeah slap downs when comedian get all bitchy with each other. It seems to be any word on the or the lowest rung on the showbusiness ladder. Man conflict. Okay, let's you know hello, hello, hello! Now we Brotherhood fell, he could have easily been around it. Just didn't seem like it was sold. Real man told a great story that I'd asked him about it. It's it's a little different, the way he tells but the way I remembered it you know, Marinid he'd only be no comedy. For a couple years. He moved to LA he's. A doorman at the comedy store is, and at the comedy store house right and Kim this in this massive at the time we can assume like to come by and party, and everything and may things like you know, only been a comedy for a couple years

and he went to pick up a college friend of his at the airport and he comes back to the house and he cum is in an kenison, is standing on his bed, pissing and Marin turn. Who is buddy, and he goes. I told you, I know him, oh god, they aren't real piece of shit. He was a bad dude by the way yum. I gotta remember this to say this Arisha fear's new comedy central show the online version of it. He has a new thing that comedy central studios is doing online. It's called this is not happening and he just released the first one today, it's Tj Miller has a seizure. I watched it. It's it's brilliant especially the opening part of it. There's like this. He has this animated thing, pull it up. Brian, it's it's on the comedy central page on Youtube, which is just comedy central and

it's. This is not happening. Tj Miller has a seizure. This is not happening. Just see the begin in the opening animated video. Whoever did it is a bad mother, fucker 'cause. It looks really cool and they decided to do it. It looks like they did it in a strip. Club looks like they do like one of those yeah, it's a it's a cheetahs I was a cheater where I no no there's like a here. That's where, like and there's a lot of comedy shows that really yeah, that's brilliant. How with shows those fun look great look at this opening in the least amount of words

check this out. This is the opening animation for those are your top three dimensional flow in the air? This is really cool. Welcome to this is not happy with that one crazy night Fedex Authority, yeah and we're so This is an idea that already had that he came up with a long ass time ago. I think, is like a writing exercise. I mean I think that was his idea. Just have a different kind of show where you, instead of just do like hardcore like set up, you know created bits. He bits he wanted. People just tell wacky stories like the one time that Kreischer has a fucking right, but getting so drunk that he's over his girlfriend's father's house and he's the guy walks down into the living room, while he's pissing on the dining room table

standing there with his dick out on the dining room table, pissing we've I had a little too much to drink yeah. That's some next level! Shit! Sorry storyteller nights at the Austin Moon Tower Festival. He did drug story night. I told that Dalai Lama tail that's a great story yeah. Those are these things that already does there they're really fun. I love that they're really interesting, but sometimes people cheat I talk to are you guys doing, is real and doing shows and- and I just talked to Moshe Kasher he'd played this club that I wanted to look into and he said you have to be squeaky clean. What would be the barf. What kind of what kind of world do you live in NC people again handled? You know religious tension and fucking suicide bomb? but again in a little dick joke yeah what the fuck that's absolutely preposterous. That actually hurts my feelings. It does do you want to be clean? Why

Why? What do you do you? Gonna live forever? If you don't say fuck, what are you doing? You join us more everything's, fucking sanitized all do respect what keeps a guy like Seinfeld on standard. Do you know anything about him? No, I don't. I know what kind of silly like some like porsches open, O'Neal exports. So you've got like one hundred cars. Some crazy Portia fetish drives a lot of old ones and shit. You like Superman, but I know he's great comic. You know is a great joke. Writer who's got great delivery, but he's got that one, observation, Ull one layer style like there's. No, when I have children, I won't allow them to watch him. I would never is that really the kind of common? But you know he's one of you- get a look at online kids. Whatever you want, you watch all Carlin Tapes, no Seinfeld in this house, another song. Where is it?

I had to grocery store, I'm just picking up a couple of things. Jerry goes grocery store, jokes, who cheese is right next to the milk today know each other. We were both milk grown up your cheese, you know how we all built starts off. Cheese starts off his milk. When she sees milks is remembered, told friends, look at you, you moved I she clarify he met him once and I didn't care for him. So I thought he was. You know what would happen it is the comedy cellar and it was nine thousand eight hundred and ninety nine. I was living there and I you know at this, tell her everybody goes to the seller. You know at the end of the night and

to sit there and I get you know it's. You know it's a small club there's a table in the back where comedians go on sit before they go on and I get there and every all the comedians are in the hallway nobody's at the table and Jerry's here, and so I go back on next. I said I give him a little head nod: hey like the guy up to that right time. I could see him while I was on. I did twenty minutes and I had a great set. I know that and then the next night he's at the they had the Mediterranean restaurant upstairs and I get there early to do my set- and I see Colin Quinn, at the bar he's a buddy of mine and I go over to take Colin. How are you- and he goes hey you know Jerry and Jerry sitting there Hunkerin over a plate of chicken wings and he's holding a chicken wing looks me up and down and goes isn't that the same sport coat you had on yesterday and I go.

I only had one season on NBC Jerry. You might be able to afford a different jacket every night of the week, but I only at once any just like shrug. Then he went back to his chicken wings and it's like you know. Why would that much money to like you seriously, look someone up and down and like criticize their clothing There was guys in my high school that you know thought they were funny and that's all they did it criticize peoples you know something. We don't have money, saving some people having a tough time. Hey, I'm sorry, you know we didn't get the fucking wash the clothes or whatever. But I always thought it was really cheap when people like just pick apart, someone's appearance, that's not comedy, that's like being a bully, yeah and it it only works if you're, not aware of the impact that it has on another person 'cause. As soon as you are aware of the impact that has some other person- and you do it anyway- you like non instigated you star stuff, like picking on a guys wardrobe you're a douche bag like there's no, but in his defense.

That is a style of comedy interaction in New York, everybody criticize everybody and they do it all the time, and maybe he just wanted you to know that you were like welcome wow and I took it the wrong way. Sorry Jerry is, is possible. Let me get some chicken never heard of the guy being a dick. No, no! No! I mean you see him interviewed one thousand times you get an idea like I bet. Alec Baldwin have to start watching that show. I could see Alec Baldwin yelling at you for something you know what I'm saying like Alec Baldwin seems like he's a fucking hot head tightly wound, but Jerry Seinfeld. Could you ever see Jerry Seinfeld screaming at a flight attendant? No, no, I just don't think he's a dick. I don't think he's got. It it might make a snide comment here in again, but so you go back That's a few often now that my kids watching I love Seinfeld. I like the show like it. I think he's his book is good. I don't I don't get the end up. I mean it. It is just as act.

I think you transfer thing how many is like always. You know when I, when I I talk to stand up and stand up, did my thing. Who was it somebody like David Cross was we're doing once those stories like you, you can always remember you always remember like who was indictee in common when you were coming up. Yeah forgot that cross story that he tells that so fucking rough story. Is rough story, and we see you know you know like it's guys can get to assure you guys get. Do she, but that's the thing you walk There's a comedian! Anything! Oh we're! All like you know, brothers know not everybody looks at it that way. Most of us do they. The and the ones that do are the ones that you enjoy hanging out with a really self obsessed, crazy ones that aren't about the camaraderie of stand up. Those are the ones that wind up kicking themselves in the decor stepping on their own foot. You know, there's there's silly ones that did dummies like you, wouldn't be any less funny if you just weren't an asshole to you,

hello, comics would make any less funny didn't want to open letter to Larry the cable guy. Okay would make you less funny. It's not like you know, you're going gangster by calling out Larry. The cable hi Dan Whitney is a very nice guy. He's a very nice guy invited out weather in Florida, great guy, there's a lot of other fucked up shit out there in the world that you should probably be concentrating on before you concentrate on Larry the cable guy right. Larry is a nice fucking guy, any has delicious potato chips. Really Brian Tell has even more now I heard that he is not only does he have like delicious potato chips have like delicious food like Hamburg, helper type show really is coming with those food products yeah that cable guy there guy has a cheeseburger potato chip. It taste like cheeseburgers, exactly like cheeseburgers, like with mustard on a relish. It's fucking delicious.

Why you're eating you like I'm, going to eat one more and that's it because I think I don't know what the fuck is. Is I don't know what kind of voodoo there doing army that a potato chip taste like I just hated in and out it's very strange, not in and out, but definitely Wendy It's it's wish minutes. It's really good. It's like you're you're eating a potato chip. The taste just like eating a cheese burger, it's a weird, but it's cattle calf can't be a smart move, can be a smart move and one eight hundred now gotcha with the Larry Cable guy potato chips, but I think David crosses to he's just a volatile artist. They were the same thing that makes some great in the same thing right. I know David he's always been nice to me I mean it's always see. It depends on. You know who who Snapette full of personal experience with personal people to eat meat and deal with Dave's never been anything, but only more Dixon. I've met him. They were the nicest people in the world and vice versa,

it's cool to me even after I did fear factor which you know if anybody was like taking the highbrow approach. That would be the time to think I was a loser serving people. Animal dicks this show is a classic. It was classic. I told you the last time I was on the shot that that the get industry in this country collapse to show that it went down minutes. Well, one of the few people on earth. I could say I lost a job because people had a drink come it's, not a lot of people that you know not. A lot of people can say that. Why did you lose your last job? We make people drink com. America was minus check this out, Larry the cable guy lasagna dinner, no way

you get it done. You wanna body, like mine, look at the reviews the worst carbs ever bought. I ever bought and back it up the first one star. What is the first would start says? Does anybody remember Larry's previous lasagna recipe? I can't recommend anyone buying this product after seeing his comedy return, a comedy routine on poop lasagna. Maybe they just with David Cross fans, he's got a lot of things. Got MAC and Cheese got chicken batter how many stars is that have this got five stars on some of those stars. Start feeling good about yourself in my business thinking you you know yeah, this guys got.

This guy he's got: a private jet, because you sound lasagna fish, batter fish batter Jesus Christ. What's crazy is they think he's like that guy? It's like You know and your dice clay who I'm a huge fan of when he, the dice man, was one of his many characters and he would do, but it was so good these, like all these other characters and just stick with the sole dice man thing, and then he became the dice and now he's always the dice man he's, but if they more it's not like he's pretending to be the dice meant. That literally, is who he is now so when he shows up with giant sunglasses on there. Like you know what literally six inches high and he's got a fanny pack made a leather which, by the way, I've got a great fanny pack because of him the people out there looking for a good, Fanny Pack, a solid one, the leather roots, Fanny Pack, that's the one that Andrew Dice Clay wears but he's not he's a nice man, pack, money, Canada, what's up money,

Is it can in India? Well, if Americans just had the balls to produce a quality of any back and not be those weird, the vendors that you know fun and stuff on Amazon, you like man, I send them. People in England are giggling. Now you know Fanny's like what they call yeah. This story, Regina they're, still does drive in the left hand side, they can't be you ill, all your credibility when you're trying to lose all credibility, positioning your cars so that you could use a sword or not. I heard that the reason they do that is because Napoleon the conquering armies getting back to Paris. They chose right side. So the left It is the loser side of the road. I think it's actually, and I don't know if that's it might just be some way that made us both got a little loose on me at a bar. That would make any sense because then both guys be losers of all from the left pane which direction you're heading in, but back to Paris back to Paris hears it.

The thing the one that makes sense to me is that if you're on the left hand side, you can defend yourself with your right, which is your your strong arm. Most people are dominant right handed and they would be holding the sword. So that's why they would pass on the left hand side, and since these are all I came, Cultures are talking about. Like England ingenious I mean that the really ancient I mean you think about how long I mean you get to go to a bar in England. That's nine hundred years old. I love that it's made there's a bar in not and am it's underneath the so it's on the the backside and it's where people drink before they went off on the to fight in the Crusades to Mays is insane my god yeah. That kind of like that kind of history. It's a new, no make sense of the still that left side of the road thing, that's what they did for fucking hundreds of years. That makes sense. Then you could use you're right you're right, ok! Well, then, I guess that's the better side of your jousting. I think you know that's how you do it only. You would think of something like that. It's not that only I asked you know it didn't make any sense.

This seems like American, be I asked somebody and they told me that bullshit Napoleon suffer. You know. Well, we've made the first cars, so it would makes sense that since we decided driving the right, everybody would just honor that they like yeah, not feeling it lad, put the steering wheel on the other side, I feel a little more comfortable. I can sword swipe out the window, so they decide but even though they would have to import are automobile because we're the ones smart enough to figure it out. First, they still had to put it on the left side. That's you know, that's also just not want to bow down to american dominance. Knowing boy one of them. Your pants still got. A lot of the today is a friend of mine and this guy Kevin Healy, who runs the russian Dub to school Rock club in Galway, Ireland, and they do comedy there something major one

will do what's the name of this, it's called the russian dub, it's it's like fucking, Celtic for black rose. I need to get a t shirt. Can I buy one online particular course totally so, but he's funny man and he's a really funny dude and his talking gps in his car is a british woman's voice, and so I was driving around with him one day and the like. Is it take the third into the round about and take the third left and then, like he drive, you pass it and they did go a different way and you just look at me: go. Are you doing that it English, but still could Brian Brian had a girl. He was dating at one point in time who did not like that. His navigation system, had a girls voice. Yeah just off 'cause. I would like choose, like the british chick voice is that I thought that was the sexiest one up ahead. You know whatever, and she was Will you please change this? Why do we have to listen to her like every time mode?

My car's you'd like have changed. There is a real Jackson's and that's, what's called a healthy relationship, all right ads on that I don't try to bring that up to psychologists. I you know he tries to make me jealous with the navigation system. Okay, it's a girls voice and the girls are whore. Ok, remember a there was like it was from Tom Tom. I forget there who it was. There was some kind of like sexy person that that that they ended up like having these voice packs. You can buy like Darth Theater and what happened to that. There was like it was like a Bob Dylan Moran in different right, and there was a sexy one that I buy. It just blew. The lid

the way to make sure you tune. Yeah, that's how it was. Do you want to really make some money make a plugin with Joey Diaz, Joey Diaz, telling you what it goes left with the fuck did I just say what the fuck did. I just say left her a dog left turn talked talking. That would be the greatest navigation system of all time. We gotta find investors. How can no one's done it? My friend, David Hurwitz, did come up with an idea once, but it was an idea of Joey giving advice on a toilet like little little shop. Blurbs had to film it yeah, but he called it. A fat and on the toilet, which is disrespectful. You gotta call Joey Coco Diaz on a toilet. That's what you want fat male, it's not just 'cause he's You know Joey on the spot

We see a tall man on a toilet. You know just describe him as a low point in my life job being in that small, ass bathroom and hide summer day with a Joey Diaz Naked right in front with his balls hanging over the toilet seat. Somehow I don't know how that's possible. Did you smell in all? Oh yeah, it smelled like a big Joey Diaz. Like I mean it's more like balls in there yeah and then, like his wife, the person's house is like the wife would come in with lemonade and just like eliminate anyone like real nice and I'm like. Don't you see this guys, balls and break it like this is so creepy I felt like I was in gay porn. I thought that I thought that was a hidden camera joke on me at the time Joe 'cause. I was like how am I right now? This is a joke funny I mean it was Joeys funny in anything he does Man Joeys just always funny. Hey. Did you see this Trans Gender Navy Seal kind came out yeah I used to be. Dude is Burley Lookin Evan Tanner, looking dude with a big full beard and uh

sex change and became a woman and now calls herself warrior, princess and dislike went for a full sex change mean she was at one point times: twenty years as a Navy seal fought some of the most dangerous battlefields in the world after she left service. She realized she wasn't living the life. She wanted decide to become a woman to go from like that. Keno. Ferocious fighting. This is off sensitivity that you that you gotta plug that person yeah. If that's what you want to do for sure it's. You know, and I put it online and like some people like still think there was. There was an issue with a transgender mma fighter. There was a man who became a woman and started fighting as a woman in MMA fights and like just brutally knocking these women out. Do remember

that the end in the in the thai boxing in the nineties there was the opposite. There was a guy and then it with his money's concerning as he got the operations further as he went along. So he was really good and you still had a sex change, and then he didn't mean testosterone anymore, sir, getting beaten up by girls can't alright! Well, this trans gender, you formal email, woman can and she's not out three girls and she choked out another girl like recently, but there's search in mechanical advantages to the human body when it's mail,

it's born with the Y chromosome, the testosterone, thirty years of his life before he became a woman, and I think that, like there's, that's undeniable there's also an advantage in reaction time like what it's ten percent across the board advantage reaction time for men over women and and like several tests. It's not like a one time thing with a you know: got a bunch of slow checks like there's something about them: the just the mail constitution that makes it more better adapted to certain physical things and fighting is one of and it there's some people be. It became like this gender issue and one of things I found out this is it's really fast and there's a rift in the feminist community and there's feminists that hate transgenders or should I say, don't approve of transgenders being considered a woman. They think a woman is a woman.

And when a man and starts off life as a man, he stays a man, and you know they think the of the idea that that one, that man is now woman and can compete with women in athletics is ridiculous, and so one of the things they cite is this MMA saying where this check is like I'm not particular counted, but she says man. Man need him in the face and knocked him unconscious and put him on the ground, put her her knee on peoples, necks and choking them out, quick and so she's, not fighting like the elite of the elite, competition, but the way she's winning is quite convincing and that sort of stirs the debate up. But I've never been in any way shape or form against anyone who wants to be a transgender. My position is only as a martial arts expert I've been doing martial art since I was a child, and I know that there are certain things that make someone physically more dangerous. An one of 'em is bone structure. It doesn't

change when you have big giant man, hands big giant man. Hands are dangerous as fuck and little tiny hands, no matter how good you get it hitting things, they never really that dangerous little tiny hands in your face like a womans hand, they're not they're, not built for punching shit. You gotta, rapm up good and put him in pack ads otherwise I'll just shatter on your forehead. There's a lot of things to to to being a man like the way the ships are built, the there's a mechanical advantage to using the hips that way, but it doesn't mean I'm against people being in Trans gender. I think you should be able to what the you want, and I think that there's going to be a lot of people when they do some sort of a chromosomal switch when they'd be really get into high level genetic manipulation. They literally can turn you into a woman. I think every man should be forced to be a woman for at least a couple of, months of his life just so you could feel what it feels like to be vulnerable feels that it feels like to be douched on by guys I mean, maybe, if, like you know how you have to like in you

You live in Israel and you have to like do like a couple of years in the service. I think every man should have to be forced to live a couple of years the woman. Really as a real woman like you, are a two hundred and fifty pound man, no you're a ninety pound chinese girl. Now- and this is how you're going to live your life for the next two years, two years as a woman, so you have like real empathy, what it feels like to be overpowered or threatened by the opposite sex or the people who are like sexually attracted to you, also being the most likely want to take your life. You know, I think, when that happens, it would be a very strange world when you it's a time. What do you this week? Do you know my black guy an Mount Everest? Oh, my God Brian would be good put together a funk band immediately, if you could Brian could be anything, he would be wonder. Woman, superwoman, superwoman or wonder woman superwoman, wonder woman, more cool shit, though she had a chat and shed, but I get super.

We can fly in her own right. Yeah fly cool cool places and masturbate, but yet she never achieved the fame that wonder. Woman had it's like what separates Whitney Cummings from Aliza Sless injure. What is it that makes Whitney Cummings so much more successful. That's wonder! Woman over superwoman I mean maybe super girl or whatever the fuck she was. Maybe she was really bad ass, but she we got nearly the props that wonder what my gun wonder: woman with their jet. Do you ever the Dave, Chappelle joke he used to do about that jet, invisible jet. You know what do you say what that prostitute doing, what it looked like? She was wearing the most ridiculous outfit if you could be. If I

be any super, no! No! No will. If between super woman, one which I would rather not harder, member Lynda Carter's super woman with blonde hair, so she wouldn't have to shave as much like her legs. Like now brown here, you have to shave more, so I think it was less maze maintenance to be another woman. I think you're right and I think that wonder, woman can't even flying around she's a playwright and that's just stupid, plus He'S- got her magic, lasso of truth and she right and then the bulletproof risks and she's fucking changing. If you can move that fast to hit bullets with your wrists. Please remember, like happy moving so slow all the other times he didn't fly either. Yet like a yeah, he was

just had a sort of like you do is so sore tissue. Captain America was like the ultimate Royd man like they created him with like a roid. It's like a super royd like they shot off he's a little skinny guy in the movie. Is the movie the same as the comic book. I never even bothered to watch that piece. It wasn't really a captain where they've got, even though it's a Marvel comic. I mean that was in my wheelhouse, but I was never really a captain America Guy, but the movies not bad. Well, I remember Captain America in when I was a kid and 70s eighties. Looking through, he would be getting his ass beat and then he is black Brenda Falcon would show up. It was always Captain America is getting his ass beat and then his black friend- and there was like you know like the MID 70s- were like You're trying to like integrate like a black superhero, but they didn't want to give him his own magazine. So then the falcon would come in and save the day and kick everybody's ass

I do now that you brought it up. I remember very much. That's hilarious! So the dude who played him didn't have the falcons do to play captain. It was perfect, so you see the Avengers that dude looks like captain. America is the perfect guy. Is perfect I just don't like the character at all, so I don't even bother you know the movies pretty good to give it a shot. I've seen the first one of Captain America. Really I hate Captain America is it just because you hate patriotism and you hate America, America, I think that's it! No is it really like you hate, like roar, old, the old, the Old Captain America, with his little flat, eggs and stuff like that was like kid outta here. Why do you? Why do you hate the country that you've built such a nice success off? Now? I don't hate the country I just his costume was dumb I know talking about you, don't want it. You know this, so the rah rah rah bullshit right. We don't just give him some better super powers when they conceived that

he was crazy. So when they met fifties, yeah there are more were to order that was supposed to be fighting. It's like it's okay to be like Super Patriot guy, when you're fighting against a legitimate evil army. You know I mean that was like a legitimate evil army, but then, once the United States Army becomes legitimately evil, then Captain America becomes a goofy character and that's the problem. It's like it's really hard to when you look at foreign policy and drone attacks, and it's really hard to think that those fucking people that are pulling off with their pulling off wherever the fuck we are whether it's the invasion of Iraq or any of the crazy shit they're doing they affect the idea that a noble man like Captain America would be Russia yeah very to save the day and making sure the rest of the world has oil for centuries to come. Can just dodgin bullets and fly, in the kick ass, not the best one he's not the best. The hawks. The clearly

there's a lot of comics. I tried to get into like daredevil. I tried so hard to get in the daredevil, but having a blind guy just not that sexy yeah and that's all. He is right. You just blinded, because he's blind you like to move good head over like better since the company and I don't know. I think there are many more than that to get me to buy a comic book down the silver surfer eyes, the want the biggest one. I always wanted to look like with love. I I did that it never really did it for me. I tried so much that such a cool idea for super hero, like I can't even get into writing get. I try. I mean a bottom and I just never got into right right right. Man was really hard for it, like I thought the store is regret all the Spiderman Peter Parker Oregon web. All the you'll see me in the movie silver surfer, but did you by the common old comic books? Sometimes I feel the same way like when I got silver surfer, comic books. I would be all the new silver servers out check it out and I'd be like damn blah blah sucks. This sucks, where is like the spider man, was always legit. Yes, my

men always at x, men always with the admin had similar to that story lines ever when they had some epic story lines with Phoenix. You know I mean there was. There was a great great comic book error that was the real shit man, how to dorks door thanks how many people listening right more like dorks. That was one of the saddest things I had to do when I was starving to death would sell my comic book collection needed the money. Man had nothing and that's all. I had left some comic books that accumulated over ten years of life out there world, I've been re downloading a lot lately, I'm using like the Marvel app. You can just sit there and like. I want episode of halt, Download comic books like Physic Cogworks, a badass, but the best is an Ipad. Get that Marvel app yeah I plan they go frame to frame yeah it's the best way. Then you don't see what's next and then you know, you never see a comic book. We see, you always see every page. You see it right in front of you as you change

the page. You see the left page to the right page see what's coming with these apps, he just goes. It goes frame It seems in real, quick kind of like a movie. Did you ever think that would be like pushing fuckin forty and still talking about comic books? Yeah, you never appear anticipated a period of golfing now posted a. I had a test the other day. I don't know if you saw this. This is a friend of mine, told me to take it and it's something that I guess a lot of people take in college and it's like fifty qua options and I ended up taking it and wow how crazy, like Horoscope, wise, like how crazy accurate is a really and if you just read what sue it's called. If I can find it real quick, if you, if you do it, I'm really wondering what it is, but I asked what everybody else was and they were all the same like they almost single person grow back like I took the test, I a I n t spear whatever it was, and

it's like the smallest percentage of people in the world is this group of people all are following me on Twitter. So it was really weird here, so you can go. You know what it, what is the the distinguishing factor that makes them like a really small group? I don't know it's just like you see see growth, I'm I esfp, and I guess the test is based on some kind of old school won't. Let me try to find it. It's called Jong Titan, elaborate way free to plug your twitter that Jung Typology did you ever take girl, yeah, yeah, Carl Jung, and so I took this and you can go to likehumanmetrics dot com in its around there. But I took this test and just look at this description of me: it's extroverted sensing. What does it say? was, is extroverted sensing feeling perceiving and see what it does it tells you like here's all the different ones that you can be and it tells go down like yes,

peace, love to talk to people about people, some of the most colorful story to tell tellers are yes a piece like like you go through this thing and then eat these? You can get more act right and they have like these horoscopes that are really like whoa, that's intense, that's fascinating! You know what the problem with these things is, though, the problem with these tests is that you know you're taking a test Oh here's another thing that famous ESU it gives the answer the simple! Bob hope? Well, it's just you know what it is you when you know taking a test. You might not necessarily revealed the way you would respond to something a regular basis had not being measuring it yeah, but the questions are pretty basic quest, like? If you go like that guy, you know how to put every minute of your time to good purpose now. I definitely did not know how to do that. You know so. It's good No, are you are a person somewhat reserved in distance and communication? I would say yeah besides podcast

Yes and no? It's not your actions are frequently influenced by emotions. Yes, definitely, usually and your actions and events yeah but see those are now there was those are things you can decide. What is our time better with a group of people attending party shop? Yes, you can just they seem pretty like non judgmental, which is, I think, important. If you really have something like that and have it be accurate, but I would imagine that would be very hard to get a sense of someone's personality. Try it out. I would really try interested 'cause. I read it and it blew my mind. I was like no fucking way. 'cause I've been getting into you know what drives me, nuts man when someone tells when they talk to a psychic in the new everything about me man, it's amazing, I'm telling you man the psychic dude. He knew he knew by my Gramma Ok, oh yeah yeah. We, the name that begins with other great light. Was she a woman? They were from Boston, she

yeah actually from the east coast. How did you know? I just know, since your grandmother was in the east coast? Was your father live? No, he wasn't. I didn't think he was no no. Yes, he was alive. Yes, that's right, he was alive. Your father was. I want to see that it's amazing, you see some yeah? We have give the site and these cards help me. These cards is random cards with drawings on them. They help me to help me see. With hilarious. Is that no one ever finds out any new shit. They just tell you shit already know you fuck, like you know, dude. He knew all about grandmother. Don't you know all about your grandmother, Jesus Christ, son Why'd, you go someone to tell you. The green is green, see that color there's there's, no better, there's no better forecast for the future than chinese fortune cookies I based my life of that. I had one couple months ago. It said you were going

I'm into a lot of money, since I took it to the bank of the coming in advance, but why why don't that's a Catskills joke cover the people to take. And the really good ones they save in their wallet show you guys you'll fall. Can doubt me trust me. This is what it's like modern or there's different yeah. Why would they make new ones? Keep the fucking dumb, just like the lottery through there, but it's like the horoscope. You know who cares? People are always going to chinese food delicious, throw that stupid shit in there some of them they're, not you know fortune cookies were printed in San Francisco in like one thousand nine hundred and two makes sense. I went to China. I was like man where's my fortune, cookie, you don't you don't get fortune cookies. They never carried over well lets. You know Chinese aren't really innovators. You know they are the the copy. I would think that they would make a better chinese fortune cookie. The book. Look, you know you guys you had a down, but hologram doesn't yet sons gain dead, father or should it should make and

toys, but they always make the cheap shit like the cheap, knockoff versions like they're, never making like the Iphone they're always making like the Iphone are. Well, then to make iphones there yeah I mean China's did massive industry. They make a lot of shit in China. I guess that the Iphone factory they got the nets around it 'cause. All these people were committing suicide. Their answer was hey goodbye. Work based on apple specs, I'm talking about, like all the other company out companies out there. You know It's definitely a lot of the there's a lot of cheap. They what you mean made in China yeah always like a statement right where, where are you gonna get refrigerator magnets and yes, no do when I looked and it said Maine and shine a black man point bump

yeah yeah yeah yeah, but they also make some pretty dope. What's really funny is that that that company, the there were people jumping off the roof? Was it called again Foxconn Foxconn Foxconn the the argument was this: I actually saw a guy saying this. He was saying. Well, you have to realize that this is an enormous company and the percentage of people that are committing suicide is commensurate with the percentage of people in a normal population. Of that many you're talking about a cup it employs a half a million people yeah, but they kill themselves at work at work at work. The live at work, they're killing me is it? Are you really? Can you really say that they're like a regular population, one of the next repeat break and they just get nothing, they get very little money and they claw and scratch.

Just the fact that we still allow that so much kind of come up with something called the fair phone. If you heard that pull it up yeah it's a phone they're trying to do. It's! You sonofabitch, Michael! It's! It's an android phone and I think the idea is that they can trace, the origins of all the resources that are in the phone minerals and such and show you that it's all been acquire. Fair trade has been a slave labor used, and you know it sounds like a boring Well, they can't it's not even going to have 4g, which is and it looks like a regular android phone. What is their their spiel.

Thank you. Choose a product made by starting with a single phone together were opening up the supply chain and redefining economy, one step at a time. I love the idea. I think the idea is amazing, you know, but you don't have four g stupid. How dare you? How dare you put out a phone in two thousand thirteen zero? Four l t e was problematic. Then you're phone is probably

because I would jump on everybody would jump on. Do it, man just make it four g silly get the funding gap get a kickstarter like Graham Hancock. Yes, Alex are now express sorry, Siggraph AUS Grace Kickstarter hit two and fifty thousand dollars so that in the on thing, that is, you know, Alex what do you make it? No, I all screens with the visionary artists who really psychedelic crazy, tryptamine art. You never seen a staffer was amazing. Here's this this since visions, but that's all Alex Kirk cool you're, seeing that stuff before yeah yeah yeah, I'm sorry, but he's creating that, like the cover of this

visions book he's creating something. That's that's beautiful. That cover is creating something really similar to this, like this style of art, like this style thing as a building he's going to have a religious building called the entheon. That's like this non denominational, spiritual sort of building that he's putting together and it's kinda how's it inside this building, that's created essentially out of psychedelic art and he did a k starter and offered a lot of really cool shit, including painting peoples, personal or drawing peoples, personal pictures, drawing drawing uh an Alex Grey version of them and cool shit. I need to do a kickstarter to get a condo somewhere nice and like Malibu, or something like that like how you do go I'll make it spiritual. If you want me to go smoke weed there. If you want well one thousand So if you get this crash on the couch once that's right, that's not how Kickstarter works on. They have to get something out of it too. Well, film it and you

going to download me and my new condo in Malibu Sucking Dick. Why did you say suck it suck? Brian, just think about what you're saying and then count to three and then stay stay with the thought and goes this worth saying you Can you can't just have a kickstarter to get yourself a condo son? Now you can what you can do is, you could say, hey I'm making a documentary about me getting a super sick condo in Malibu? and I need three hundred. One hundred thousand dollars to tell you what Brian nobody would see that coming. That is basically bulletproof and no one would ever call scam. They would say: hey you just doing this so that you could get this super dope, condo or Buddy John has

nice kicks start on this one yeah. I recent releases Liz. While you are as well it's to for him to become super rich, that's the whole kickstarter! I'm John, was what you may recognize me from my popular Youtube: videos, televisions, the league or simply as someone you admire and envy, because I'm awesome and famous my fans come up to me all the time in Aspen John, when I got to make a movie. My answer is always the same. Its body guards beat the out of this gross poor person who's. Not addressing me as Sir Luce WA a second most common question. I get for my fans. Stop right there. If I was his friend I'd, say edit. That was that part. I didn't get that part work that out parts called not funny. Latest swing. Didn't work, he's a funny guy. You know we all fucking throw turds up there. She was trying to do didn't work.

Great the last time I saw you at the laugh factory was like six months ago, thanks man. Thank you that that big bit about the horse, fuck video. God damn it. I was just there was like a ten minute bit of straight. I was just there and it's called Enumclaw overly. I was just there and they're all very embarrassed about it's really interesting. Like proud, p, brass plaques up marking, Well, it's a real rural area to the base of a mountain. I think it's Mount Rainier, it's uh, it's one of those mountain communities and they were really bummed out that there, their town is known for that now, like you, ask him about it, there's a few like really nice. This place called Charlie's shout out to Charlie's the best fucking pancakes you'll ever meet in your life, man in Edam Claw, pretty fucking dynamite like a real like home, cooking place. We were up there looking for Bigfoot, firstly, shalom doing isn't that definition of looking there has to be

We actually see Brian you're, not the expert of every doesn't exist, you're, not looking so you say it doesn't exist. But how do you know it's like looking for ghosts? You can't really look for items that don't exist, but you can you can go look for ghosts. It doesn't mean you're going goes, but if there are ghosts occasionally and you're, not looking you're never going to find a man if you're living your whole life, never seen a ghost you like, I just don't fucking goes and then one day you see ago, most you shit yourself and you don't have a picture of it. You can never explain it. You try to tell people and they like yeah, you saw ghost 'cause now. One is going to ever believe anything that they haven't, seen them selves and less. You can show me a picture of it. Unless you can show me, I don't even buy in quantum theory. You know why 'cause you can't show it to me. I don't know what you're doing I shall see all those lines and squiggles, I believe, you're correct. I would never doubt, but I don't. I have no idea if that's real have no idea, that's real, but Bigfoot. I think Israel. No, you do not

tell you what man, hey man, real you're, entitled real. I think Eddie Murphy is a better actor than Denzel Washington. Are you serious you just being silly? I think we have we're all entitled to our opinions seriously been solely because anymore african actors, Dick tough. He just doesn't, do it very well. I think he acted it already. I bet he did his bed at best acting when the cops asked him why that training was in his car little character, Judy into research. I was taking him home officer. That is a most tranny. Explain yourself, I guarantee that I mean look at how good he was in the Nick Nolte. Forty eight hours is fucking great in that movie great as an actor as well, like not just great bad guy, and you know what else we know America was he like four different characters or something that and I'm not.

Doors in this movie in any way, shape or form, but that Ben Stiller Movie about the robbery, the fucking, those on the top floor penthouse, something like that was like a tailback with quite busy or what the hell is. That called the High Tower Heights Tower Heist, not a bad movie, really wasn't God took a lot of shit is pretty funny. The premise is ridiculous, but Eddie Murphy's a bad, it's fucking actor like you forget how subtly is like how we could pull shit off. You don't- You know it's really sad that all that tranny shit went down 'cause, it went down, Eddie Murphy, stop doing stand up, he did draw and then you know we kind of like just went to movies, and maybe he would have went back before then, like ten years since after raw and then the tranny thing was it yeah. There's along my timelines wrong, but I just feel like. Maybe he would have gone back to it if

wasn't I wish she would have that's why I was excited when he was going to host the Oscars that, like just give us a hint of it at e, just a couple of minutes. This is the truth. When raw came out- and I was- I don't know how old I was. I guess I was probably eighteen or something like that I don't remember somewhere around that somewhere around the teenage years- and I remember seeing raw on tv and me and my friends were fucking crying we're crying. And it doesn't totally hold up today. 'cause a lot of the premises have been like beating down since then. The lot right right, but I remember there was an event when it came out in the theaters, but you coming up Adele various delirious, was so strong. You know why you're the moment and then it was like he had gotten money, and then he, stories about bodyguards. I'm mentally Ozzie actually meant to deliver the said that, because yeah I do this was the tv one that was the H b, O. What is in the red suit brought the movie at got the blue hat

Actually, man, okay, so you and your friends are really no rod to see Rob was not that good. Does it so it was like it was like when I rap guys get too much money yeah when the rap guys come out there. Great the first three albums are from the street. They got the message and then like the third fourth album who's going to clean. My pool is late uh, this sum of money that takes the sting out of a lot of people and then will show that he would die if you live changes radically. Yeah, you know the life you live is a comedian. There's got to be some folly in it now, and when everyone is just lining up to suck your dick and pay you in diamonds. This is not allow yeah. Did you see that that Eddie Murphy thing was on comedy central? They they did some like no honor him evening and who was it told this great story? It's, but it I think it was Arsenio Hall or something, and some woman comes over there like some black club and some

a woman comes over to Eddie. Murphy has any any. I love you, I never. I never kissed the of of a black man before. Can I kiss you and he goes? No, you know you get because you don't start at the top. You guys start one of these poor yeah. That's fine! You can't start at the top baby delirious. You know before delirious he had a cd, I don't mean the things that get set but, like I said that was really good. I think may Even better than delirious 'cause, it was really like low pressure still give delirious as a gift. I guess I'll get a little nephew men and he likes comedy and then like little like teenage kids and stuff they wanted like. You know they asked me, you know who should who should I study years? Delirious, let's start star here you know if you're like a teenager and you're, not really the radical shit. Yet you just send a solid funny. It's too bad that he stopped. You know

it's inside the you know. There was also it's just a I mean, I'm sure when you're, probably the number one comedy movie star in the world, like it's, probably really hard to get up a desire to go right, create new, jokes and they're, probably just constantly shoving movies down his face back then you know he went for forty eight hours, and I mean he was gigantic gigantic. He was I like that sorry you're that high no it's my girl wants to. She paid ahead. Son dance song. It was a hit song about his girl likes to party all the time. That is a drag man if you dating the girl, and she just wants to go out all the time and dance and party. I don't like the financing ship and have any friends pick up. Girls 'cause. They just want to party all the time feel like listen, you're of escaping something. Here we can't do Coke seven,

zero. Alright, you need to take a nap. You need to get help wanted pick up that find an occupation. You can just be out there partying or you can forget it. If you got an act, you know traveler country road style skill, gangster Setelah Road road. You clarify that you really can't party also of the pond is really the time. Do you ever think that you're going to settle down in a city yeah, I'm considering a few places where you consider a I I'd like to move back to San Francisco, and just you know just I mean just creating joke. That's the you know. That's the main mission yeah and I like that. You know the tech industry is based out of there and I think you know,

Things are moving. I think that the future I mean like you can be your own movie mogul yeah studio. Now, and you know I don't know, I think you know it's a lot of entertainment yeah. No, there certainly is. I think the answer turns a great place to do. Stand up. It's also a lot of smart people there, it's a good audience. When I come to la like staying in nice hotels, you know about living here and paying rent. I don't know, maybe I haven't lived in the right neighborhood. Can I crash at your place for a couple months? Sorry I'll sweep the helicopter pad every once in awhile? He won't get along with the family said like this kinda just he's going to draw each of the dark side. Don't worry my will is strong. I'm kidding I getting. I don't know, and then also you know, the New Orleans is a place that I would

This is a little town. That's a while he's down yeah, that's a that's! A free town there, the so it's like almost like just of passport to go to New Orleans seems like some sort of caribbean islands drop off into acted to the rest of the kind and then again I wouldn't mind moving back to to Amsterdam or Europe. Maybe you know, get a place and what about for stand up? What do you think would be the best place? Do you like to have a home club to war No, but you know I love the Stanhope model, you know. Worked his off for like two or three months, and then it took a month off. You know go home to take several months of yes yeah, and I I like that. I like that he does that we're I'm I'll only take a week or two off your I, like that notion, Stanhopes doing it the perfect way. He's so I mean it shows up with that in mind, you could live anywhere. You know Do you know why not have a place in Greece or in

the south of France or, in you know more travel time. That's that's the pain, the deck and some people like to have a club, that's close, that they can around a practice at like when I lived in boulder. I was doing the calmly works in Denver. It's only an hour and a half from where I live is free, easy drive down their bone. Do a set, get right back to the wilderness. You know it's right. That way, you get the sort of the best of both worlds type situation going on. You know, I think that at home clubs nice it's nice to have a spot, so we're Stanhope is an Bisbee there's, no fucking club so that crazy, ass we'll just do a show in his backyard right set up speakers plug the mic. He did a show in Vegas and some dudes backyard. There was a guy in Vegas. Some kid who is hiring comedians do shows in his yard and have his friends come over

and it it really should be a great gig center about right. It was, it was awesome, hey, look like get shut down by like city ordinances or something yeah. You know the proper permits. What a bummer! What the is that one with the proper permits are well, then you could shut down. Lemonade stands, you know, as you know, you have a permit, can right, but you don't want anybody thrown like crazy, late night parties in the in the backyard next year. That would suck like one of their planned by rap music like you're cool with it of its stand up, and it's funny like it's Stanhope, do right now right right when it was some talk, terrible, we'll we'll we'll did you see and we're two door we're when you try get some fucking sleep and you're, like God, damn it? This is def, maybe that's how they feel about Stanhope. Talking about eight When I, when I turned sixteen, my parents made the tactical error of going out of town that weekend Ann.

I threw one of the biggest parties Oviedo High School had ever seen an there were just cars parked all down the block and just massive party and people. Just you know drinking on I I was talking to like three of the hottest girls in my school in our living room and this guy it's on the on our living room carpet. You know get my hands and knees. You know in the middle of this party, these girls that I care about you know watch me clean some vomit haha. So would you do spring up some dog food,

the dog in now? No, did you really all you thou human being? Why would you want a dog to be threatened by this discussed? It was the cleanest car. I hope that dog haunted you with dog farts, the from Hell toward dog died there. What it was machine jets in the come on and rip it horrible farts bile for its that's. The worst me see here, your dog fart when you look over at me like come on man for real. That's when a dog is comfortable with you, there always comfortable with them and they never hold in farts. Let's just about dogs. They never figured out you yelling when they fart they never bothered to him together, like what the fuck you yelling at man, I'm just uh. We're doing my thing being made. I didn't even move fucking stinky bitch. You ever have a dog wake you up with a fart. My dogs used to fart, so bad I'd be in bed, I'm,

oh god, what the fuck it was like. I was eating shit in bed. You know, especially if you feed him wet food. That's the key dogs, love that wet food with that wet food. We just just all gels together and stomach and ferment asian process and when it comes out just so, you just feel it. You feel it before even smell it. Oh how we got this object. Let dog farts! If you like dogs, going to deal with that. It's a weird thing that we have certain animals that we cherish in certain animals that we just we slaughter. A regular basis and there clearly defined and when we step outside of those lines, people get really upset. I was watch this thing on see where they was in the one of the british papers? They were showing this. The latest trend is canned Lion Hunt.

Oh, I just saw that on the guardian, the guardian as well. I love the guardian yeah. It's really crazy if you haven't seen it the raise these ends, Did you see that it was on today's in today's guardian on their website us, and it was this beautiful lion- yeah this massive line in the guy standing. There were like oh this bright Baltic underneath it yeah. What's really crazy, is this? Is this not even a wild lion? That's inside of a these are hand raised lions, so what they do. They take them from their mother like right away and all they see is people. They see Lion Cubs and people and the people provide them food and the people pet them. So that's how you train these lines to be more docile. So that's how, when people are wandering around shoot, these losses, these lions aren't stalking them and killing them 'cause. These lions associate people with being like their parents. So this is like one of the weirdest strangest sort of canned hunts ever because

it's like shooting big dogs, it's really similar should what is the sport in that? You know if you see how these lions are with the people that are in this this park before they send him to this park. There's another company: that's a farm that grows these lions and they take him away from their mom and then they feed bottles in there cuddling with him and shit and then when they get full grown, then they let him loose in this park, and it's just this big giant fenced in play and the lions are walking around and then they let loose the white people in the white people come in with these runs and they set up and there's like four five guys shooting at the lions, because the lion makes it charge. When you shoot him, if you heard him they'll fuck in charge at you, they know what happened, and so you got to like have like four five dudes at the same time shoot so watch this like the

just sitting there chilling. Oh yeah, they do oh look soon. He shot at him and missed the line, doesn't know what the fucks going on the line doesn't recognize a threat at all. Then now we hit him so now the lions running Adam and then they dropped the camera 'cause. The lion hit with a bullet it's dying, but it running at them, so they just started firing at it as it's running fat, white man. Well, this is so crazy because this is. This is not even something that you would eat for food and there pretending This is the dangerous game. They pretending that this is the great white Hunter and they're out there taking down a lion and then they have it in their home. Look. This is a lion I shot. While I was in Africa, but really they've done. They've taken the balls out of line hunting right, see like four guys with rifles. I remember I went to. I was in Sevia, Spain and I went to the bull fights. I've seen it once in Mexico and it was one dude versus a bowl. You know I had read Hemingway's death in the

mainly it was like the minor leagues of bull fighting It was four guys against one bull. One guy goes out there with the Red Cape and then another dude sneaks up behind it with the prongs and sticks in it and I got upset it was like the most cowardly chickenshit stuff I had ever seen in. My and that's what that lion thing reminds me. I was like really more guys with rifles, isn't those things they jab in the bowl? Aren't they poison as well? I don't know I didn't so I thought it's always in Brandon. What sent those things they jabbing a boulder in a bull fighting it are, they don't admit poison? I don't know, I don't know I'm here. That's. They do but either the weather stabbing him and you know, amount he's, hurt bad. That deadline thing is disturbing, is really deserving, which is shows, are weak. People are it's just such a weird thing. I shows show you everything is for sale You can have any experience you want if you're blushing Dave appealed to the weakest of people. You know the people that would want to

we're just a shoot. Something and say they shot in so you're shooting a pet mean a sense. Little pat, that's been let loose in the set. The fact that they're trying to look at but will hot dog is licking a lion. You know less durable will see something good, that's adorable! You know I like that line. Clearly is not walking dead, I mean if we went beautiful, page man, if you wanted his cage, would probably fuck your world If you want it- and you know the man Lion is pretty lazy, it's just lay around and fuck all the time the woman line does all the hunting right, If he's well fed the male lion is there to defend to make sure that he protects the other females in the cubs against. Other males that will come in and try to rough everybody up and eat all the babies. That's when an mail comes in the big male has to be able keep that mail out because of that mail gets in. It's very likely he's going to kill all the cubs. If they're not his

is dominate takeover start fucking, all these checks again and kill their babies. So that's what the male supposed to do, the male supposed to just take care of everything and fight off hyenas. They got lions. When I want to sad man says it's: it's edutainment, it's sad that people would want to do that. They would actually want to go and shoot some something that's a basically a pat, and if this fenced in area insult you know, we've gee. We talked about TED Nugent on the show before TED Nugent as a show called the Spirit of the wild, it's kind of as Nick, and he has these ranches two of them. One up in Minnesota, and one in Texas with, is a fenced in ranch with always deer running around on it because sits up in a tree. Hey puts food out in the deer, walk of the food and drink sticks and when the

bow and arrows bow again, but he eats all the meat I mean, that's all eats and he enjoys doing it and you know it's all his property. It makes you very flatulence, so he's a thousand users which you're not have you ever had venison via have lights the bottle up. Maybe that's a personal thing I revealed too much about what makes me flatulence milk ice cream ice cream have horrible farts I did a what was it politically incorrect when it was on comedy central years ago, yeah when Bill Maher was first, you know this first version of his show with TED Nugent, so nobody got in an edge. Word word wise, 'cause he's just he just dominated the ball yeah an afterwards were in the green room and he comes up to me. Can you his arm around me? Is Tom, like you, man, and I want you to have my magazine and he

he's got the magazine is left hand. He's got his right arm around me and it's called it's TED Nugents Bow Hunting magazine. He goes no tom. This magazine is more than about bowl, and this is about you and who you are as a man and getting in touch with your inner being. I read the Fucking magazine so cover to cover his opponent? Well to him, that's a bowl and is about bow. Hunting is about some spiritual quest. The ten up into the essence of the the wilderness. Even it does, it was an arrow, that's kind of old school. What is he's really good at? What is that song. Oh, that's right: why must leave the animals? That's right. This is a real video. By the way this is a white guy, and this is a vegan reggae song, and if this doesn't make you both laugh and

they get violent, leave us the beams of this way and then you get to see the video to look at how her Larry. This is what I want to eat the animals. When I was when I was in New Zealand, it was a billboard for something if it was a restaurant or something, but it said if it didn't have a mother, it doesn't go on our grow.

They won't even being in the they won't, even grilled zucchini get the out of here. With this, this guy's whole areas yeah, but in the ceiling like things in this video that people don't eat like big yeah, I agree. Certainly, whales, Japanese, you would do honey the wells and he's like at the cow here. You know here's the real problem with this philosophy, if you really did that, do you know how many people would get sick from poor nutrition? First of all, they already are right. So that's a bad argument, but the real issue is What are you going to do with all these animals now 'cause? If you're not killing him, you better introduce some predators into the food chain, because otherwise you're going to have deer everywhere, you want to be able to drive you're not going to eat. Cows are going to be with you going to keep him from fucking going to castrate them. You know, what are you going to do? How you going to neuter them having to manage

population are going to kill a few. What do you do then? No need to meet. That seems pretty ridiculous and people are starving in the world and your ships and shipping boxes of fresh vegetables that are rotting. My favorite sandwiches, the Blt it's great SAM. How you going to how you get sandwich can take away bacon. Dude I've been eating the fuck out of bacon. Lately big is good for you. I went back to Bacon funky. I I had had like bacon failing his stories like starting in Turkey bacon and I was this tastes good enough. Man fuck that good fat bacon like like freshly sliced bacon, not like that Oscar Mayer packs that you can buy it. You know it's like this. You know you're hardcore year, yeah you're the boards head at the deli, the Canadian you get that big have you ever done glass case? You ever get the bacon. They have at the at whole foods,

yeah you can at Baker you gotta go Rob will style, though, do you get to cook it? Slow gonna, get a big frying, pan and cook it slow. He doesn't like some electrical jammy, but he cooks is bacon for like three hours well yeah, but when you do it that way like if you ever go to like a four seasons and you eat at the buffet and you get that bacon, you cannot fuck. Are they doing this 'cause? My bacon is always fucked up and twisted black. There bacon is like insist in Peru, Rich Brown and it's so perfect, because they're slow cooking that bitch slow cooking, that bitch go, get some bacon right now, Podcast is over Tom Rhodes, you're a bad mother, Fucker love! You glad we're friends, I love you too bud spect respect and please, let's do this more often it's ridiculous. I totally. I love your show men and then then you know it's coming on again. Alright, you fuck, I love you, I love you too man. Alright! Thank you. Everybody for tuning into the podcast. We appreciate the shit out of you. Thanks to audit, dot com for sponsoring the podcast go to audible, dot com, Slash Joe and get yourself free

thirty days of service and one free audio audiobook, the premier audio resource on the internet. I love, audible, dot com. There are fucking, fantastic company go, go check them out, we're also bro. To you by hover. If you go to hover dot com, Slash Rogan, you will save temp set off any of your domain name registrations or also brought to you by uh O. I t use the code. Rogan save ten percent off any and all supplements we they're gone until Thursday night and Thursday night going to be sing. A special after I get off work guy with Kelly, Starrett and Kelly is a eight. To be very popular on the internet, with some excellent ideas about maintain your body, take care of injuries and shit. So we're going to talk to about about the human and add to me we're going to get down dirty about muscles and tendons and ligaments and shit and discs,

and then Monday will be back with Bobcat Goldthwait and we got some other cool cool guests next week, alright box, we love the out of you Friday, Friday, ICE House, Friday, Icehouse Tom Rhodes, Joe d as ME, Brian Redban, and maybe leaving your Brian calendar drive down after does it show in Calabasas asses we love you. Thank you. Everybody! Thank you.