« The Joe Rogan Experience

#542 - Greg Fitzsimmons

2014-08-28 | 🔗
Greg Fitzsimmons is an American stand-up comedian. He also hosts his own podcast "FitzDog Radio" available on iTunes and every Monday on Sirius Howard 101.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hello fuckers what's and waiting for an answer episode the podcast brought to buy new sponsor draftkings dot com while we were in denver last week i got schooled on the wonders of what's the this describe this this this new activity that a lot of you folks are engaging in called fantasy football it's basically the premise our friend steve rannazzisi show the league and the genre's wa dungeons and dragons for jocks yes dungeons and dragons for people who are really into sports and it's jamie's a fanatic and it was sad seeing scrambled to try to make his picks but i know people are into it and football season is just around the corner and you can your piece of five million dollars during kickoff week at draftkings dot com america's one week fantasy football site now i don't know much about fantasy football but i'm going to have to
about it now because jamie completely perplexed me this past week greg fitzsimmons here and he wrote adores logo like were in high school and he wrote about his fuck it never used to do those van halen things with wings everybody is to do that on the stones lips yes everybody sit on their notebooks anyway draft kings for fantasy football folks you've already been scouting players and doing research for your season long team so you can use that knowledge to actually win cash the first week of the season at draftkings dot com last year one your turn eleven bucks in the four thousand bucks and one when i heard about that another player won a million dollars in one day just playing fantasy football how the to the guy when a million dollars in a day playing fantasy for is that real they must must real it's on the ad that's incredible because he picks neil it's rookie year what fantasy football is exciting is it can you do that either you have to pick people playing right now you don't even
how close do you know shaquille o'neal retired you shut your mouth play basketball he's retired drafting dot coms about football you we can win which cache starting the first week of the season don't miss out on week one excitement reserve your but now so bounce over to draft kings comment of the pro promo code rogan that's enter the promo code login and you get a free entry into week one five in dollar kickoff bash at draftkings dot com bigger it's bigger winnings bigger millionaires this is insane i can't believe i'm reading this but it is true apparently you could win a million dollars that's insane and a rogue for free entry now draftkings dot com that's draft kings dot com and that is the end of the fucking sponsors for today why have more when you have greg fitzsimmons and his doors logo
i am yeah i am a sponsor experience trying my day joe rogan podcast by night all day powerful greg fitzimmons oman somebody smoke a little the doors logo settle and greg road opens for folks are just tuning in now greg road the doors logo on his notebook as if we were in high school we're never many we are used to do that in high school ever the ice to the kiss logo is big kiss fan right and i kiss didn't the s were like triangles on top right you may yeah it's like well the ds is go like a z sort of right yeah hey did the bands do that anymore do they still logos yeah do they have logos that kids like draw on their notebooks or anything in in
nine inch nails not today bradley stills from the nineties bands of today look at the lives that were really stone could do leads that plan in little you have kids got props or really good at that right i give a kid could do a solid doors logo from scratch learn well my one of my best friends we sit in the back row dates in eighth grade and he would draw on day asks you know shit like the doors logos and all that and i was the class clown now like all these years later he's one of the top record designers the country yeah he worked for jimi hendrix is a state for a while doing all those like they re releases that did you get all those album covers that my uncle used to that my uncle used to work for howard marks advertising which was the company that used to produce kiss out covers i and i was a little kid i'm at ace really ace to came office the office and he had no makeup on which was just
insane it was like i was seeing the easter bunny without his fucking clothes on what the fuck i couldn't even believe you really there and the fact that he didn't have make up on it was like is almost like a life changing event for like a ten year old or whatever the fuck i was right 'cause it was just i can't couldn't believe this was a really did is makeup housing housing just walking around and then i realize what a brilliant move that was they were famous but nobody knew what they looked like genius all the greatest movie of all time yeah what the insane clown posse has the same thing the same possibly could be at the fuckin seven hundred and eleven right next to you buying cigarettes you would have no idea you don't know what they look like is that what they look now as ace freely that's ace freely today or a voice over guys like they get matt groening and the guys that do the simpsons voices they're making more than anybody and they got all they can sit in a restaurant without getting annoyed yeah that's so true will matt stone and trey parker became famous like they they
famous a d our own movie and then they've done so many interviews and they've done like they took acid went to the oscars i mean dresses no she yeah there women's dress remember that i know their own assets that's amazing the greatest so important for the culture guys like that are so important guy we can make those kind of shows there so if you see the book of mormon yes dude loves it at opening song hi started laughing so fucking hard then i looked around the theater and peep come in and they know it's matt stone and trey parker so there is there
right this is gonna be shocking right but then when they start singing god in the mouth assn con and i'm laughing and i see that people are pulling back can handle it that makes me laugh twice and i and if they're like far into the hole next scene and i'm still doubled over that was brilliant his his them with it's just such a magical evening everyone this is a wanted to be a part of the magic magic hey dude and when they did that top park movie and satan and saddam hussein were in bed together we see satan's dick and they're allowed to shows tech because it's fake it's because it's robber you know
they have like this rubber dick but it was the movie it's a soul ridiculous l come on the soap would do it ridiculous you like how are they getting away with this push so hard to like one of the reasons why they get away with put in all their shit in the movies is they put a bunch of stuff in the movies that are so fucked up that have some bargaining tools like the cut out some of this other stuff they weren't planning on putting in there anyway like the have you ever seen the full sex scene between the two puppets and team america they shit on each other they piss on each other i mean it's crazy he drops a log on her chest so does it take it out and that's a really yeah so the scene is insane already it's there and i remember the scenes and same same what was it way over the top in real life or the the version but they probably they do that shit on purpose like we used to do that like paul seems just do that on news radio on purpose like they would say penis
there was an episode where bill was bill mcneil was phil hartman's character how a say penis on the air and he said penis like a hundred times you know and they they put in like all these extra penises so they could trim it down and that episode i didn't air till the third season they pulled that episodes right and then they aired it like in the third third or fourth season did it seem weird like did you get in well like look different like out of no where one week somebody had like purple hair instead or shorter hair or you know i mean because it was a different season no no no no well yeah i would definitely look different like you know three years people's faces change a little yeah there's a slight amount you know it was i went to the the phil hartman and a star of fame on the hollywood walk of fame here star and i went there and there were some people that i haven't seen one thousand six hundred and seventeen years like a lot of the writers and a lot of people that worked on staff and it was weird it's like wow we're all getting fucked at home
change your laughing about it but it is strange to see the weathering like my friend loop who my picture is this like boy faced young kid is hilarious writer lou morton he had gray hair like wow i get there no we just got together me and a few college friends i haven't seen them in years and i looked around and you start to think now i must not look as good as i think because they look fucking terrible and there are my peers you know one guy is bad as shit so if you get fat enough there is a key to aging where if you can put in a fat into your face it's like botox and you don't wrinkle and you kind of have that youthful glow 'cause you just filled with oil will we know william shatner allegedly does that on purpose william shatner says i put on five pounds a year five sounds year keeps his face round and i do it
just for men and i keep it fat and move yeah no you just coming up with you fat bro i that's not true pepper ten can't say that man because william shatner actually plans it so you can't claim it that is an amazing when you want it used to do when they get when i wanted to get out of relationships it's pretty much the same thing i just just fat pass them out do you ever remember that kennessee bit about getting out of relationships now over here the best bit who's you know not he's like i don't ever break out with them he goes i get them to break up with me that that way they feel bad that they left me when i needed a most it's flawless like he did this thing where he says i just stay up for weeks into coke and then one sam i just just not the guy that you were when i met you and i'm sorry but i have to go and she lives explorer she leaves my passport she feels bad 'cause she lived you when you need her mouse and you got to go out
code for three weeks have you ever heard marron till the kinison stories oh yeah when he destiny piss on his bed well just how crazy they wear with coke yeah man was on our podcast and he said that he heard voices in his head for almost a year who kinison did know marindo front entrance so much coke they did so much coke he was hearing voices dude for year yeah he said that kenny in which is red line it back all day and he was just gone daisy daisy was like like what stops did he make in is he was like on the sunset strip going to like record store are diner bar strip like in one day he would make more stops than you would in a month yeah just ripped out of his mind in three hours a night sometime didn't sleep for days apparently yeah he's an animal he was
the funniest thing about him is that he was a reverend a people who if you never heard kennison gogo go download louder than hell it was so if if that warner bros never released it as a cd so i want great comedy albums ever but it's only on cassette because brothers so much homophobic stuff on there so much so offensive to gay people and so that was that was never released it was never released as a cd i used to have it as a cassette but people have put it up now you can get it going to find it through torrents is not on itunes or anything like that i don't think it's an itunes man it might be to see if it is just no no no louder than hell loud as hell louder than hell i think it's louder than how it's just first see b and then some of the material is similar to what was on his first hbo special there's some crossover with some of the material but it's his best stuff yeah those to his hbo special an louder than hell those hbo specials from montreal right no
from the roxy right up the street the comedy store ok he did it that theater on sunset which is perfect now it's on there is it it's on there yeah that's it man that right there my opinion best comedy cd ever my number one somebody had to say to me what was the most influential comedy cd that's it i think he was the best ever for a year think for one year plus two years whatever it was when he was just a maniac this can you can you can go on because it's so awful he was on the crest of the wave you know the wave a wave has daps there's like there's a lot a failure and a lot of frustration underneath the ocean and it builds until it swells and in that fucking wave pops and that's where he was on the crest of that wave and he wrote it and he got to shore and just fuck well he was a superstar all the sons added know where those pretty god damn good
similar to hunter s thompsons metaphor but what happened in the 70s you ever heard that thing now it's done to like it's great it was in the movie the johnny depp movie oh yeah fear and loathing in las vegas where he played him and johnny depp did an awesome job of pull that up see if we could find it the wave speech from fear and loathing in lots of steel that i just steal that now you probably never heard it now did you ever read fear and loathing now johnny depp is the economy started every day watching doug stanhope really their bodies that's another thing though that that he's another one hunter s thompson is another one of my all time favorites is another one that just burnt it out man did you use to read him in rolling stone magazine or you'd read all reddits books first one i
it was fear and loathing it's not on this strange memories on this nervous night in las vegas has it been five years six it seems like a lifetime the kind of peak never comes again
somers is still in the middle sixties this is the right here was a very special time and place to be a part but no explanation no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive not corner of time in the world whatever it was madness in any direction at any hour you could strike sparks anywhere it was a fantastic universal sense whatever we were doing was right that we were winning and that i think was the handle that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil not in any mean or military since we didn't need that our enerji would simply prevail
we had all the momentum we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave so now less than five years later you can go up on a steep hill in las vegas and look w and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high water that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back johnny depp's about my he is a bad mother who's about mother yeah i can act as dick off yeah but that was the heat that hi hunter is thompson was real similar to me to kenneson 'cause he just burned it out it was all coke just coke and booze and just and then he wrote a couple of great books and then the just nothing left yeah and then towards the end i mean he was
if you've ever seen hunter s thompson on letterman it's sad because can't you literally can't understand them yeah can't understand the words that are coming out of his mouth like he's he think he just right his brain or just hide it yeah cooked it barbecue did sauteed minced it up ran it through a fucking grinder fried it again and it wasn't just coke he was jeffrey hill everything everything lot of acid everything he this hands yeah who's a mania there's a video oregon article rather wear a reporter followed him around and monitored his drug usage for the day it's insane yeah it's insane i mean it's i don't know if this is a typical day but this was just one day and i bet it was a typical day 'cause he always i guess your system just gets used to it i'm doing this hand things or where he's going like this something needs to do that whenever i know somebody a friend of ours that does not all the time well you know it's sort of like
cicero he may have some kind of learning disorder king seeking he's thinking he's like right that's how it is all right here's his daily routine three hundred pm rise thirty five cheves regal with morning papers smokes dunhill's three hundred and forty five cocaine three hundred and fifty another glass of chivas another dunhill four hundred and five pm by the way first cup of coffee and a dunhill four hundred and fifteen kane for sixteen orange juice and another dunhill four hundred and thirty cocaine four hundred and fifty four cocaine five hundred and five cocaine five hundred and eleven coffee dunhills five hundred and thirty get more ice in the sheves cocaine at five hundred and forty five six hundred o'clock smoking grass to take the edge off the day seven hundred pm day three hours into it three hours in lit seven hundred and five creek tavern for lunch heineken
two margaritas coleslaw taco salad double order of fried onion rings carrot cake ice cream of being fritter dunhills another heineken cocaine and for the rest the right home a snow cone a glass of shredded ice which is poured over 4g pictures of chivas chivas okay nine p dot m start snorting cocaine seriously since ten p dot m acid one thousand one hundred and eleven p dot m chartreuse i don't know what that is cocaine and one thousand one hundred and thirty cocaine etc etc one thousand two hundred midnight press thompson is ready to write that's when he sits down to write one thousand two hundred and five to six hundred am he writes chartreuse ok in grass shivis coffee heineken clove cigarettes grapefruit done hills orange juice gin continuous pornographic movies six hundred am in the hot tub with champagne dove bars fetish
any alfredo eight hundred am halcion which is sleeping pill not eight hundred and twenty sleep so he would take a sleeping pill at eight hundred and twenty in the morning still riding it hard but i love is the most people it's about if i get this work done then i can have a drink with him it's the opposite yeah he got why you were he got wild to the core where there was nothing left but just savage chemicals flowing through the br the core of his mind and then he just in front of that type writer and let it rip for six hours focused it on to that yeah wow i love now that you can't you can't do that for long it doesn't last right and in the end it's ugly pull pull up one hundred tops david letterman like life is about finding that line where you are pushing yourself and you are finding your edge but you're not burning yourself out this is way more than a
edge i mean this is a it's a suicidal thing and with but he also had it in his head that way time would come he would take his own life yeah he just is like this getting old shit is next to pressure off yeah he was convinced we need told everyone around him that when it gets too much i'm just going to end this like i'm not going to i'm not going slowly drift away when i know there's no hope insight and for him like they would operations on like the hip operation like you gotta stop treating it like get the fuck outta here boom it's it that night like right away what is this oh here we go i don't know if this is the right one 'cause he's on it been on a lot this is from twenty twelve oh that's perfect two thousand and twelve is perfect because that's the end ok i don't even think he was alive in two thousand and twelve now when kill himself there's a lot longer than two years ago i made this system and upload twenty thousand hundred uploaded uploaded up
it seems pretty recently no no no no i mean that reason yeah fairly right it's not old letterman with a full head of hair yeah right by all means make your of at home yeah he died in two thousand five moves away from you know it's been a long time since i've seen you lana and help your refresh my memory dr your doctor is what what it what area would discipline are you a doctor in of like i said last it was divinity therapy and journalism well did you go to a to study where did you get your divinity that where where it was like we went over this is an old story really yeah where do you go to yale where you at i where did you go rather move on ball that bolstered sorry ball state
of this motor is that what it is you're sixty years old i was at is that right here on scene we're but you were dead too ha ha ha ha ha ha really it has been so long is this mean anything to you turn sixty is it no no yeah the guys would have kind of some dark sense of humor give this this is actually way better than the one i was thinking of i was thinking of now that i remember it is actually a cone and he was on conan conan went shooting with them they went out to his woody creek he has placed on week with a lot of land and it would just set up things and just fucking blow him away with guns and he had a conan out there blowing out guns with them and i swear you could barely understand them it was just
hey kid line now i thought you were dead too yeah sharks are used letterman did expect that upper upper cat yeah he was funny dude me to say well that's not gonna happen i said all right let's do it we brought a camera crew news map of i think they're ready over on the firing range and we had over that way yeah and and the idea is that you can always struck me and in had a well thanks to hell in order to do or are explored who can i get you sir i'll have a huge shock on the weather who originally who are more than a little that's good you should have your days and losing the club yeah using us up there drinking booze and shooting things
hello let's say that was pretty good those is key character on doing today there right yeah they used to make fun of aman doonesbury well that's good example i guess it's better as it gets on it gets more drunk i guess that's probably why couldn't understand him if you go from that to what he sounded like how articulate it was news younger how clearly was to understand you know it from the the documentary gonzo life and times of hunter s thompson there's some interviews and one is a black and white and you know you got to see what it was like as a young man there's some serious to tear action by the time we got to sixty yeah and in perspective sylvester stallone is sixty seven or sixty eight and he shredded you know talks great still do an action movies that just shows you the impact that hunter put on his body
sixty whatever was there sixty two as well and that he lived so he actually has a strong it you know he he he could handle that most people would died of liver disease or killed themselves before well 60s not down old man mean he was six thousand two hundred and sixty two when he died then i think about this forty something years of path pounding substances in your body and probably not exercising ever no no eating sleeping fucking dove bars in a hot tub fuck man fettuccine alfredo at eight hundred o'clock in the morning he was an animal woo you do that if you knew you could come back and you wouldn't be addicted and you wouldn't be dead would you take that lifestyle on four one month no i wouldn't want to feel like that yeah
how to speed guy at all i don't like i like coffee is good for conversation but i have no desire to try the speeds i think i just need more in terms of just completely being deliberated yeah just i don't i couldn't do it i could good because i would know i know too much about what it's doing to my body yeah like i could do it for a night for a night i could go on a bender you do that i have yeah i've definitely had some nights where i got just destroyed but give us no there's no coke involved you know it was mostly jack daniels or something like that just few too many shots getting crazy smoking too much weed but the big difference between that and what he was doing was he was doing it all day i mean if i would do it would be like you start at ten one hundred o'clock in the morning you basically done and then they just trying to find somewhere to eat and sober up but this guy was gunning it all day like that writing books
and he went three hours before he put solid food in his body yeah yeah yeah and just drinking and doing coke smoking dunhill's i mean i have too much i have too much carbs in the afternoon i need to nap at four o'clock i think partly like i quit drinking along i'm going to be part of it was like i just didn't want to deal with the hangover enerji awful it's one of the worst feelings still waste of time you just feel like such a fucking idiot like i just sacrificed several days it's almost like like say if you had a job it really sucked and you work for like a week saved up all your money and then you went to the casino and you blew it in five seconds like you fucking it yeah all the time you wasted it seems almost similar when you're hungover because it's like what did i have fun for an hour and in the last two hours were a fog and then i threw and then i went to sleep and then i woke up and i feel like death for two days what that can be worth it
i can remember being young enough where i hook up with a one night stand shitfaced get it done never had a problem get it done always close so for you good for you and then wake up in the morning still drunk and then and for the morning sacks i feel good about it because then after there's no hang over after the morning sex right it's like a light buzz but that's it you know twenty one yeah twenty twenty one you were different thing you're a battery for a full battery just character plus you're free you can't believe no ones telling you what to do you believe for the first time in your life no one is telling you when you have to go to bed when you have to be home like you're a man you're a free man for the first time those years are buck wild those years from whenever you get out of the house whenever you're your own bills whenever you have a i guess i'm an adult now i have a job and an apartment whoa yeah and you're deciding when you go to bed yet away you
like an adult and in a way you feel like a little child because that little child gets to play yeah explore the night like you know all the sudden at four hundred and thirty in the morning you're not like now if i'm four hundred and thirty in the morning i'm like how the fuck do i get to bed as soon as possible then you're like what else what else can we say stumble on is our door i can knock on is there possibly booty call i can make right now yeah who's got coke how do you keep this thing roland then it's like your mortgage your house and then on top of the mortgage like when the coke comes into the picture it's like now you just taking out loans from from shylock's now now you go and i'm looking to the worst loan sharks and you like i got listen listen listen one week i'll pay you back i'm paying it all back that's how you feel when you do the coke yeah the coke is the one that i ducked docked at my whole life
i love you i love it too much and that's why you would go really would start talking so much you do twenty podcasts at the same time that's my friend jimmy lost only like when we were in high school they were he was we're all doing it at this party and jimmy goes don't do it you'd like too much yeah i go ok that's all i need to hear anytime a guy who likes to do coke tells you not to do coke and he didn't like to do code but he had a cousin that like coke coke it's just i i saw too many kids any kids that were just there would be engrossed in it's all they wanted i saw kids you know we did all the drugs but coke was too expensive so we did it but it was kind of a luxury item we were more like a lot of my friends were doing angel dust because that was cheap and lot of masculine you ever take masculine never took kind of it's i think it's a form of acid right masculine is a form pod how it is yeah yeah like the colorful you see colors and you laugh a lot yeah
that's that's of i never got ahold of never got ahold well like when that was going around like mask that was all turn around like post high school it just after high school when i was in my super healthy face yeah all throughout like thanks from high school to like you know two thousand one hundred and twenty two there's very little drinking very little partying very very little like the occasional joint would come out if i had a couple of beers that was so rare and that was feel guilty sure did it it was a healthy days i was sellin mask on for a little while this guy this guy andre the blackest black and then your coffee and took and he was like in and out of juvie homes and so he got me to sell it to my friends so i would have a bag is like a lot of my friends are into the grateful dead and we go to uh that and i would just sell like a hundred hits of masculine and so so then one day i guess i didn't even owe him money like he would give me a bag and then i pay him after i sold it and ta
i wasn't really up yet but i came home one afternoon and i open the front door to my house and i walk in and we live in a pretty nice house and my mom is sitting with andre in the living room having tea she never met him he just he just showed up looking for me and i was like oh what the does uncomfortable that did my and my drug dealing days and they're right there yeah you don't want on better than the alive as you can hundreds bang your mom 'cause if he would do that i know andre and she's on mask i know andre andre would do it now yeah he lit up her drink he t with their dropped tab on our right now they is a plan to riders on the storm and you open the door and he just fucking hammered from behind father yes son i want kill you
june is out her bone town downtown or oh but why and i walk in and he turns his head and sees me it gives me a look that makes me have to fucking leave the room eat mid stroke doesn't even banging my mom yeah yeah you don't want to i don't want to see that shit and i'm on mask jedi mind tricked you these are not the droids you're looking for hi working every angle someone like that banging mom oh that's dark yeah that would be brutal that's door seeing his you know that prison asks you don't know been through it's probably got striated muscle tissue offer out of two it looks terrifying right like you think about the amount of force he could generate without ass oh my god yeah
strong thighs go walking around selling drugs he's out on the street exactly constant motion what cardio and now he's got the back of it that is size ripping and driving you know that drive you get from the inside of your thigh when your renewal if i can do in that good lord is airing or is actually no noble but at that point out to you know one riders on the storm he does one track singing and this another track he's whispering really it's one nine yep play it it's like seem to get pulled off of youtube if we play it won't win and you never know why that was not over just do it okay well i never knew why it was so haunting and then you hear that it's like this very they cool back in the sixties when they were coming out we multitracker
they were doing all kinds of cool you know the beatles backtracking stuff a lot of that was phil spector the cree how is that right his wall of sound right if you don't know the phil spector story phil spector was known for pulling guns on people that was his fingers always pull guns on people and he got back to his house he picked up some woman i think at the house of blues i think she was our waitress or something got it back to his house put a gun in her mouth and pull the trigger and blew a brains out and went through this big trial because of and and in the trial he would wear like different weeks every day he was bald
and so you were these crazy like nineteen sixties wigs are the most ridiculous wigs ever like during his trial yeah i remember that pull up pull up some photos of phil spector's wig hears that the doors whisper track of this is just the track with house burger and percussion
he was a sexy did fuck you cool why
that's haunting yeah killer general condos this is this is phil spector when he was in alley in court for murder and he's wearing that wig that's not a photo shop either that was a real wig and where different ones like some days it would be different if you had a couple of different wigs you're funny otherwise i get so confused 'cause that trial happen i think around the same time as wow ellen degeneres
it's martina navratilova mixed with ellen degeneres then ask me how okay i pulled my teen and never to roll the incense her all in the middle of the the average for all of was she like when the first lesbians like the first national came out during the aids thing and that was like the eighties right yeah i guess not no eight thousand four hundred and eighty five she had balls teach tough chick no tennis balls yeah she's she's a bad but this is what he really that's yeah looks like the guy that killed patrick let's his face and ghost patrick know you know you know that was who is it that the comic who died of aids black guy in new york charlie barnett now l other black guy in new york he died of aids he not black
panic who the fuck was died of aids i remember because i started dating his girlfriend six months later that do yeah no he also died he died too yeah how did he die some of this face probably was phil spector didn't die that he's in jail danielle them they nail them down i kissed me bank checks to look for guns in their mouth and you see that and he wound up she yeah no my attitude and i think it might have been that might have been just the murder i don't know you think about if you had no value on human life and everyone trying to go for the big the biggest orgasm you can get whether it's doing coke grabbing your own balls cock ring with think about blowing somebody's head off as you came that would be huge
that would probably be if you were like a total psychopath kind would probably be you the end all feel like coming and taking at the same time putting human life into her as you take it out of and then imagining that your loads actually got her pregnant and that that kid would be born to a body that just died would be to it into a body that just died between the loads get to the egg the loads crack open the egg and they're like sorry boys the factories been shut down there's she's dead or what but we just got here he just came inside her the eggs are here everything so it let's do it her spirit goes in his dick hole it's like the opposite of an abortion she dies we let the baby gets conceived like the like the first days of life is the right that's the number one debate when it comes to abortion
it's not within a women should have to keep the baby and get pregnant the real debate is when is it actually a person because i don't think it's a person wants to cells you know i think this is too easy cells there and those two cells could grow to become a person she'll give you snuff those two cells right now there and then you're good i don't feel like you killed somebody but if it gets to be like six months and it's inside though the woman's body and could live outside of her womb is that a baby went what it what year or what month rather loudly on any chance the cats used to say i think life begins after the second cup of coffee i i think it's right out of the gate right out of the box section right into the box like as soon is that saying as soon as that thing combines the agony that's life yeah not saying you should be able to kill it
i'm just saying it is a lie don't kid yourself like don't don't soft salad if you're going to get an abortion you got a if you took the morning after pill you aborted a life you have the right to do and i support that but don't pretend wasn't high stakes what you just did that's so important to say and so taboo like what you're doing right now is so like that can be demonized you could be thought of as insensitive people can get angry at you they've people of concocted certain politically acceptable phrases certain things an abortion you know for abortion the number one issue is always a woman's right to choose but women's right to choose exactly what are you doing like what are you i'm down for you having the right to do whatever you want with your body i don't think that anybody especially anybody that can't have a life in their body like a man we can't even
stand what that is or outside it's impossible for us it's only like fiction it's only like when we when we try hi to pretend to understand to put ourselves in the mind of a woman is pregnant we're just making things up we have no point of reference whatsoever it's a whole dimension to different dimensions i don't think it's our i don't think it's any of our business but as far as that as far as like whether or not a woman should be able to end this life form inside of her body but why we have this desire to pretend that it's something other than a person this argument this dude on twitter this comic seems to be a funny guy but have a good calling the right wing and saying that i was saying right wing talking points i said listen i'm a hundred percent in support of a woman's right to choose your your hear me wrong here what i'm saying is it was because dawkins had compared a of fetus
side of body that you know that it was like i think he had compared it's like a baby pig i forget what the the i forget is no more of a human and a baby pig yeah you know i guess he's talking in scientific terms how like a very very young fetus like whatever age it is when you decide to feed us and he was saying that i was like that's ridiculous it's such a ridiculous point and it fucks up the whole argument because obviously that you pig can't become a person but that fetus is going to be a person everybody fucking knows so stop playing this game this is a stupid game yeah and then this comic so it's going to mean for like this cue k guy frankie boyle seems like a nice seems like a funny guy you know but he was saying that i was saying all these right wing talking points that i'm uh i'm like i'm not right wing by any stretch of imagination but what is it that's not a seed man it's not a seat okc it has to be planned to become life that fuckers planted that's a sapling it's a person is going to be a person if you keep eating food
and you don't take too much heroin that's going to be a fucking person and we all think about what our lives are the miracle of not knowing how the universe works and you know theories in those paradigms and there scientifique that and we've got we're getting a br odd sense of what what the tool material end of it is but the magic of the sperm meg becoming something like that's it that is when life begins and you know we don't know why we don't know if there is a god making it happen or if it really is like a million monkeys typing shakespeare but it happened and its life well i'm offended whenever anyone tries to lump any discussion of any subject into one of those categories where you can't question it or what those categories where it's not open to discussion that there is a certain acceptable opinion on it that you're supposed to have as an intelligent person as a progressive you're supposed to have one opinion
if you question it at all deviate outside of that one opinion at all you are a piece of shit you're a bad person you oh you're outside of what we're all trying to push we have an attended to push if you outside agenda i mean for comic to think like that to me is particularly offensive 'cause like you not we're not being honest about what it actually is and also it's it's pudding issues into black and white terms instead of knowing it's like you know i can i can not support the or and i can still support the troops can i have that fucking distinction or is it one one of the other nuanced thought it's like people now saying i suppose state of israel i don't support the guy in israel right now and what they're doing you can do both you don't have to be fucking the zionist or an anti zionist and it's the same thing with this it's like you know a boy christian being something that is in the of women exclusively is a fucking
weird situation because ultimately the man is involved so can we at least have an opinion about it well you know even if you have an opinion about it i mean i'm not calling for an opinion that i should have any opinion as to whether not a woman should do it i remove myself from that i should have no opinion this is what i think this is my belief i can't i don't think i can stop you from doing something to your body at a certain point in time when is it immoral though is it in more when nine months old old is it it immoral if you have an abortion day before he was going to be born that's that's a real question and to pretend that's not a real question i think is preposterous mean it's preposterous it isn't doesn't make any sense like how can you not discuss this you don't want discuss because this is not in the framework of what you think is like progressive liberal thought that that becomes a problem i've been doing this bit where i ask the women in the audience do you support a woman's right to choose an then they almost all clap and
i say in how many of you have had abortions an nobody ever fucking claps and i was like you know that's a right that's under attack and if you are ashamed to say that you do it you're going to lose i can write like i'm like i'm ashamed that i masturbate but you outlawed i'm walking down main street my dick out like hell no so i mean i think that thing about that that abortion is if you shrouded in shame which the republicans do in which women are owning an absorbing they couldn't internalize it they should say no i have i've had abortions i think it's any of our business i don't think i think the thing about asking someone who had an abortion is like you know asking a very intimate question to someone where it's probably an opinion or a decision that they had to make where maybe it wasn't a happy time you know maybe it's a dark moment so you're asking them to tell you some and they've never met that they have this dark memory
they have this thing in their life they are happy with i just because every has an opinion or just because you know someone has an abortion rather it doesn't mean that the way they look at that abortion is a happy thing or relief or something that you know they would do again it might i mistake but it's been framed as a political issue and so yeah but you say well that that personal thing if they don't talk about and if they never talk about it they're not gonna be able to do that for not about talking about it's about admitting it in public in front of a bunch of strangers at a comedy club where everyone is drinking an what percentage the population is asking salute lee assholes testing way too much i've been waiting i am very curious in that moment i know once you know once i just wanted to just start clapping in the middle you know the great one i was i don't remember where it was i remember what what how the subject got this but some woman in the audience yelled out
something about anal sex about either not taking it or like it i don't remember but i am or something like i go that is very rare that someone would yell out you know about anal sex you would want to keep that like probably pretty private that could be potentially embarrassing like like i'll give you like how many women here like take it in the ass and i thought in a cup but actually clapped and yelled i was thinking any girl who would clap and yell when that question how many women like take it in the ass like that so who really like say yes i mean she's completely comfortable with it which is like look on the girl on that one if you look at for that one out of one hundred that asked for it here she is right you know if you know what you like how are we going to be happy in life and then you gotta put that message out there with that asshole is not filling itself you need to you need to be a hawker you gotta hop you're an asshole you gotta let everybody know you are that special person yeah rare person that likes him if you're afraid
even try it with your wife you know you could go twenty years and then all sudden maybe on your 50th anniversary you try to stick in her ass and she's like thanks highly yeah she was always almost bringing it up but pulled back out of embarrassment he if he wanted he would have tried it i'm not going to tell my want to fuck in the ass gladys tell him you want it in the ass now be together for twenty years i just don't think harvey would like that i don't think he'd respect me while she goes to harveys fucking laptop and it's all bookmarks teen ass dp in ass ass to mouth but the screen savers just looks like a spider fucking closeup of a dirty asshole outside sock one of those expanded but
box where someone just has an exploded asshole which by the way never saw until i saw the internet never knew that that was a thing is it like a post anal sex then what you just swollen things stuffed in your ass your ass comes out like a like an unrolling thick wool sock jew clam it's horrible no that was just different things it's unbelievable what people do their butt holes these yeah it's going to do it right here it's a new front here i talked to a friend of mine who got divorced and he's a he's a comedian he's got you know it's got enough celebrity where he can and he said greg they all wanted to ask now because it's fucking crazy is like i was ned friends have sex and now it's like it's just what you do wow yeah those kids today they're nuts absolutely nuts here see guys stuff is nuts in there yes
how did he know he like that only figure that out i think people just get bored they just get bored and they just do whatever they could do you know they just after you do a certain amount of porn i mean i would imagine if you've done porn for like ten years just a thought having regular sex is probably so boring to you that's when they want to like put on flippers and shit fucking snorkels and fuck in the tub and they wanted to do ridiculous shit yeah they want to put pinwheels on their nipples and put a bullet you know one target signs on their asshole and have the guy run across them because their artists the body no matter what you do for a living you should feel like there's a level at which you can do it as an artist and i think there are porn stars that really wanna like bella donna i
i think they really want to actually do something that interest that creative for them maybe it's possible pregnant porn come on yeah pregnant porn and probably many things up her ass while pregnant many yeah she she won best double anal once now single anal twice yeah thinking man that's probably one of the toughest jobs for people to forget you from like sale if you were the host of like american bandstand you know when you were on tv for a long time doing american beds dad you know you could quit and millions of people sorry on american bandstand within a decade nobody really hold it against you that you were on american bandstand they they don't want to find you by that job but if you're a check that's
been involved in multiple gang bangs with these huge dicks and just fucking lube all over you and guys making you gag and your mascara is running like that all my never leaves you alright but for a woman it almost never leaves tracy lord might be the only one that got close to escaping yep cause she got mainstream movies and and she turned out to be pretty intelligence so she would go on shows did music too i think yeah i think she was like producing music debbie harry i believed it porn but kim kardashian from the know from mmhm blondie from blondie really i'm not positive but i believe she did porn or was a or was a hooker with a sex tape thing is the the most amazing loophole like that you could just say i didn't know how that got out there and remember they were doing that for awhile yeah i mean like a special look like kim kardashian in paris hilton that was like well pam anderson was the first one but she was already famous oh you mean getting fame
that way al yeah yeah right i mean her and and tommy lee was and got them out crew right you know he probably lead to just show but his giant tech it was really hard big really it really i don't care who you are as a guy you see that video you feel really bad about yourself not really i'll tell you waht 'cause it's kind of skinny doesn't have a lot of girth too it's not like like this certain dudes like lexington steele's at his name the porn guy he's got a dick it just doesn't even look like it could be real like the bar and rey so high like everybody work wants to go with john holmes all the time especially guys in our age bracket that was going to the guys got a dick like john holmes let me tell you something john holmes barely has a big dick compared to some of these dudes yeah i mean his dick is big but that's like average big you think there's anything we can do to make them bigger is there like staring at something evolution
porn stars are evolving just like the football players are evolving their giant dick dudes now in silicone lambert black what they inject silicone and they do they do that is that true wait a minute do you know this for back one hundred do pull up one hundred percent we've already talked to go get some links injecting silicone your dick i don't think that's a common practice son that makes your dick all lumpy and shit it's actually used a lot more than you would think swat how do you know how many dicks you inspected kids gotta numbers not about this a lot and spectral squad so what that means it's real well dan as he talked about it man spend six years injecting so account of his penis well of course there's instances i'm just wondering if the porn stars do it yeah i don't think that's what's do those did just have giant dicks but that now what's going on these guys have big dicks it's not making your dick look like their dick it's just not they have giant dicks if they do something to it may but these dudes you when i went larry's giant fucking dicks my
and less you can find a link you tons of them i just can't really show you know what just to the article or so says what they do i could show you by black putting your logo up so no one can see it except us okay like to see csi do a no concerns dude yeah the porn sites what is that guy's sucking guys up points like that's not show proof that there shouldn't do it if it was i think they did all the time you could find a google result of it yeah there like porn stars in eject silicone into dicks to make them larger find and then come to us you know who had a really big dick who jack stardate betty dead dick dyer it was seven are used to do fifteen minutes at how big is the quest i will wake up in the morning this coats on it that's right and he was this he was this guy who is he had to be in the 60s when he pulled it up pull it up so we could read it what does it say silicone penis pumping parties are a thing
and there are no good ok i gotta read this on my laptop can read it silicone illegal penis pumping parties are becoming increasingly popular legal victory in the coptic moustapha tabulated you have to have license for a fuckin silicone penis pumping party put your hands behind your back applying for a license for silicone penis pumping party pumping parties involve one person injecting non surgical silicone into another person's body usually the circum comes from items found in your local hardware store like flicks fix a flat or tire polish and they inject well you better really enjoyed that night they use nothing party women in the past have used pumping parties to enhance the sizes of their butts but the more and more men have been doing it to their penises oh my god i've heard about women getting getting you know they go to like spanish harlem and they go to like a storefront upstairs and they inject cock and then it petrifies and they've got these hard lips
hm i show you so quit actual guy that has silicon in his dick from a porn video camera sensor it for the home people but okay they're saying it doesn't work if there was legitimate method for penile lengthening johnson and johnson or pfizer would have bought it up and made billions and billions of dollars worldwide the fact they don't means it doesn't exist look at what they're saying now is this is not so that's sailing bro you got the wrong wrong substance that kind of sailing in his balls that's a common thing that they do yeah we get it i think we get the video it's just salt water so what they're saying is that people are idiots and that they get together shoot sailing in their dicks but these are the type of people that their nuts i mean there's i have cut themselves and put horns in their head and this is now like something's porn stars did make their dicks better up what's his face saying also that doesn't work your friend the porn star guy that that they did rihanna night that did rear factor
steven saint croix he's the one that told also talked about it we've talked about it many times on different podcasts before it's supposedly it is a thing in the industry that people pump their dick up with this shit imagine that it would work though it does make any sense that it would make it i'm telling if you see lexington steele's dick and i'm not saying go look for it but you will and if you do you're going to go with that ain't fake there is not a big fake silicone dup weirdo dick like a fake lip that's a dude with a giant dick right and he's only one of many the johnny homes my point was that the johnny holmes reference that we had when we were kids that's no longer the benchmark these guys are way bigger dixon homes john holmes was in one of those gang bangs those guys he would look like a guy with a big dick that's it they all have big dicks skies of giant dicks some of these guys can't believe that they can own a dick that big like what do they do with it when they're not using it the laugh here's all day laughing at the fucking
goodness of the world's given on that here's an article on your tango it's an interview with a male porn star and one of the things he says sometimes dudes can't get it up which is a problem on a porn set no surprise there but but apparently you can build up a tolerance to injection correction on enhancers like the solution injector dick yes with a needle with more an intense lay with medication that works instantly leaves underside filled with needles yeah but you're talking about iraq yeah yeah yeah this is about you that i am right they've been doing that for ever i think it's the there's in the old daisies to do it i believe with testosterone like someone said they inject testosterone right into the base their dick and their dick with boo so curry jacked him in the and just start doing push ups on its own you don't even have to mow hike in jack and did i would use hills very dull and mine the ocean and jerk off and have a question
come out are you cooking it in there kind of fucking how hard you dick you know that's a thing that people do like why do i have a yeast infection again specifically there's a thing that people do when they drive for long trips and they'll put food on their grill or on the engine block like rapid aluminum foil put it on the engine block and cook it as their driving pull over and eat the food that's genius yeah it works of course like you could take a little copier will slice of butter some garlic salt put that bitch been there folded nice put it on your engine block and then the other one you roll up some asparagus but that also in the aluminum foil and then drive a couple of hours pull over and have a nice dinner i wonder how long it would
you need a cookbook somebody should come up with a cookbook for cooking times and what part of the engine to put it on the page you have a v six cooking time as well and i right if you have a prius is four and a half doesn't get hot if you have a like an old mustang get it off in five minutes hit the gas once and eat like a old like a gt350 fucking things got so hot those old cars got so hot when i had i had this volkswagen rabbit back when i was going from new york to boston pretty much every week volkswagen rabbit and if it if the they used to have the starter right next to the engine block and so we get heated up if i stopped i get that mass pike you know rest area and it wouldn't start again because it was so fucking hot to start it was just like incapacitated and i have to wait like forty minutes to start the or again so i would just leave the car running in the rest areas whoa that's up
which i used to have a one of things i love about having a manual transmission as i didn't need the starter that i could pop rollout yeah that was a big thing and i wonder if i could do that with the new cards that work on new cars too that is probably all kinds of safety things i wonder if it works on new cars i should try to and it is a huge upside to having to stand or was giant i'd loved it because i my car ran out of batteries before i forgot the lights yeah i left the lights on and all i did was get that but i did it backwards once yeah yeah yeah i don't know how the i did was a shattering inter versor backwards in the reverse backwards in reverse most of what works great and first first is what really works all cars standard they have now no no i have an m three that's not a standard that's mike mike commuter car now try to think of i did do it but records or if i rolled down a hill backwards and then turned around the intersection and it out i did so many times i don't remember but i had this audi fox was
shit shit those were pieces of such a piece of shit but i love that car that car is special car from maine special car in my memory that was like my independence car those the first car that i got when i like moved out of my parents house and is the first car got there was a small car that i could drive around in and a cool kind of european thing going on to front wheel drive manual transmission it was such a good show died all the yeah i was always pop the clutch on that i think it was a volkswagen at some point and then it's we sides is audi and volkswagen we're like the same company really yeah i thought yeah i thought quatre had a volkswagen fox maybe his was an audi five but i had i i was it that's my baby yeah that's nice man that's that looks like a the i didn't have that year and i had a copper one it was copper colored i think no it was a two door or four door like a mojo i think it was a four door is this your first car no it was my first
like independent cars like when i was independent when i was was live with my parents anymore i had this car i think i bought it from one of my mom's friends or something to a can you remember how the i got but was like one of those cars are alert let me just drugs peace should around for awhile because i've been really cars since i like first got my license i was loved american muscle cars that's what i love i love like old chevelles and barracuda and challengers in those kind of cars i just love man just other cars to mean we just transportation yeah i got it yeah i i know that you want to get a a v w because that was exactly what i had was a two door that's exactly what i had it was like a copper color though like a little darker but that but that was the first car that i have those this is just going to get me where i want to go like this is what freedom that is when you're inside that car and you realize like i'm in a capsule and it's fucking mine and it takes me where i want to go that's powerful yeah when you're young and it's the first time you get to just go wherever
why did been taken sauces and walking a walk to your house see in an hour see you in two minutes and then i'll go buy beer and sit behind a believe what is that it's a same car now i think i am away now i was like that's not the same car at all the sprint yeah it's totally different comp in different names what do i get a lot worse at reno i change cable car no i did in the model and for some reason i just got mixed in with your cars on one of the cars it sucked the won't don't want in two thousand i had how did you afford the car you work for it yeah i don't remember because i don't remember what year it was but at though those days it's probably a mix of construction work and we deliver newspapers still then yeah deliver newspapers even before i had the the audi a started mystery there's like right out of high school i did it for like four years even done it while in high school for a while i was just the greatest gig ever
just out the passage in dress the driver's door and it did on where i was driving we do stop and get out because you made a bad throw yes i stopped got out if i made a bad throw and there's certain houses that they demanded that you put inside their door now which is really you know i did they tip you those people some of them were some of them i didn't mind it if there were old folks just didn't want to get up and walk all the way down the steps i did it for like there's this old lady that was super sweet and i always did it for her achieving mass for it no couple years i missed her by a couple of probably never had it didn't the ads in the eighties pros of super rare that that and this all is as tight as her vagina waste two seven is waiting waiting it's not camped it's definitely not kept up well definitely flavored smoked and you know what that arthritis that arthritis she's not getting a good wife going back early finger in the groove no one
anything but toilet paper back then and even in porn girls at hairy assholes but then a number that and pull and there is a jungle they just left it alone there's no trimming now then one brave gao shave the whole cooter then from then on out it was never turn act now it's weird if you see it and even better well i guess not but have used like lately if you see a it's kind of like what the you know that's a that's now that's the thing is is retro bush's bush's yes is making a comeback not huge bushes but you know little bit of jungle yeah a little bit jungle source tree just a little bit of rain forest landmark just a little triangle of green in the town square well some make it interesting we'll be i will try to change it up every now and then with everything i mean remember when they try to bring bell bottoms back there was a time where dudes wearing bell bottoms again didn't last long was only couple of months but p just trying you know if people accuse me of that with the fanny pack but i tell you first of all i never stopped wearing a fucking fanny pack ever so
can't tell me that i'm trying to bring it back because it never went away is it that i always been fuck it back matthew mcconaughey was out of baseball game where in one it was singing the virtues of the fanny pack i sell out of 'em on higherprimate dot com sell out of every month i hate having shit my pockets i love the fanny packs you want one i got one for you right here right here came and get it for him oh i love it it's leather know my kids laugh at me because i've wondered it ripped apart see that's a decent one but the roots one i got the roots one from dice roots is the best fucking company in great company can make good bags dice came in swept cigarettes fanny pack oh and so he comes in with this look at that this fucking fanny pack it's a
we that's telling you legit pockets in the finance l again high quality everything and rare lapland shock on excellent latching system and it's really high quality the best quality pack i could find and it's so i had my higher primate leg logo if you look on one of the pockets of the champ logo with light bulb above his head that's the higher primate logos i had it in embossed with pressed whatever it is into the leather leather how fun again high quality men if you wear one of those like it's so convenient when go to the airport my god because you go the airport is such a bitch to take everything out of your fucking pockets and put it back in chicks don't have to do that they just laid the person who walk to the side and a good
yeah or anywhere like like my glasses there sitting on the table right now i'll probably forget him that happens to me every fucking day this way i stick 'em right inside my fanny pack taupau damn phone slips right in there when it vibrates it vibrates right over your dick reach down touch it you wait till it's like four five rings and then you pull it out i'm yeah i just but this is my point is that this isn't like the bell bottom this eggs functional fuck it's like the most functional way to carry your shit around ever the reason people don't do it is because they're worried that they look bad is it conversation starter started the fight yes most certainly is people go right on man i go yeah everybody fargo number crazy greer in the 70s started you carrying a purse that giant law back going to say to him nobody exactly you don't need a pack doesn't need to have two handles yeah right but the brill deal is a backpack is better than purse and you're allowed to wear
back like a guy has a backpack on you know you run into some friends and whatever happens to be a girl nobody gives you a hard time but if you have can person to be like what's up bitch what are with that purse holy shit is that is wrong with you you don't have a woman anywhere near you you just walking around with this yeah and if you our guy and you have a purse you gotta carry it like this like out this side as if it's a head that you just cut off with a fucking sword like it smelly garbage of running out to the curb i'm carrying this because i'm going to get some pussy at the end of this fucking journey i got this in my hand when i bring it back to you i'm going to fuck the lifeout of her like that every second i holding is another second i'm inside her skull with my shaft and plus you could do like some good shoulder exercise just do some handoffs as you walk with the person is a lot of checks a heavy person you know
you get a lot of shit done the bigger that the bigger the bigger the purse the crazier the woman also so so true but those checks that have like little tiny like clutches those those the checks that can just fucking they'll come over your house fuck you alright take care i gotta hit the airport yet those chicks travel light they got a handy wipe in there for the undercarriage boarding pass give it a little fucking one of those the sanitary things go to the after period wipes for eating roots things you get it would give it a little bit it looks the same okay let it go let it go get on that plane world travelers some people do travel like that moreira buys all's underwear and socks everywhere he goes out and throws amount set that sounds like a an effort to to find a place that sells really weren't just
kohl's in somewhere when he gets there get some socks who is he rent a car and i don't know if there's a gig i don't know i mean i bet he does in some place for sure you know but i was rent you rent a car when you go places rare rally i go to hotel and i just hold up intract press for few days i know you keep telling me i gotta bring some over that way we do it man we do it so different now with uber you don't need them to rent a car road that's true but then you got some do driving around is probably barely been fucking profiled barely check that i out yeah right in these you know also you got out of gas you run out of gas robert downey junior who the purse yeah yeah i don't know about that one pros worshipers yeah he's robert downey mother junior he's got a billion dollars is give a yeah but the but the purse hanging around the arm seems like a pain in the and seems like you're stuck with your arm like that but it's a good exercise the added for the arm muscles right put a kettle bell on the other one on a personable and i have a a bowling ball case that i carry
with me when i go on the road i bring a bell on it but do you really throw fifty pound kettle bell in that bitch check it shut up yeah i'm seriously it's on a roller and everything so you can do kettle bells when you get to the hotel otherwise we're going to tell bill wow it's hard hard to get a kettle bell have you ever tried when the water ones where you just pump up with water doesn't not strong enough it's going to look at made that i need to bed this is ken this water is not going to need something much love then water what does not heavy enough you need metal there you go so i'm at by yeah that's good with shaking a little bit some hotels have great gyms when a hotel is a great jam it's a godsend cause you don't have to go anywhere it's right there in the building when they have great twenty four hour gyms that's amazing can you do you do the midnight work yeah i it no shafter shows i love after show weight in session wow you go for a while yeah you know why i do it because i don't want to do it because after shows i want to just do
nothing's every now and then i like to exercise that part of me does want want to do something yeah i think its support to do i would worked in tampa and they had a gym around the corner that was like you know try bath lana like what are the people that drag tire fucking giant tractor tires you could push and chains you could pull it was wild there was like nope c machines at all none of my machine there there is a fine that all that stuff used to be called work hey that was what people used to do you had to pick up chains if you worked in a fucking ship climb a ladder yeah if you worked in a factory that made tires you know flip tires him mean now everybody is like you know do not cross to and hit the tire with a sledgehammer why you do some honest work are you wasting all that sledgehammer movement you could be breaking rocks in the pen right this creates you stack crates over in the corner and then you re stack 'em in the other corner remember that was what we always saw in penitentiary moves dudes with break rocks remember that
was that is a real that's still they still do that the break rock yeah i would and the last thing you would want is a bunch of inmates with insane cardio that have been breaking rocks all day you have a fucking sledgehammer and you're swinging that bitch all day breaking rocks my god you're going to get insane shape your back in if you punch in george foreman used to do that chop wood there one of his exercises my neighbor does that every night this sucks so annoying he just had wooden just sits there and chops would all night long it's and it's loud get this humongous thing that you just like it doesn't split 'cause it's just as humongous like so he doesn't just for working out yeah my my doctor digs holes in his yard i go what you do for exercise 'cause he does he doesn't mean he's a black belt in martial arts to some kind of martial arts but i could do that anymore it's like that's too much strain on my body is in his 60s i could also we do for workouts goes like dig holes in my yard
you go out in the yard and i just do i just do a yard work start digging holes i go do you want to do these holes in their purpose for mingos sometimes and sometimes it's just to dig a hole bodies now but he said that that's like a great way of it's a great like that's a manual labor that's like really robust for the body yeah because you're digging into that dirt you foresee any when your legs taking enough you horsing up and boom and then each each there's like heels if you look at the motion of like digging a hole he's like all all of that is like an excellent workout it's like you're forcing your using your legs using your arms using your shoulders and your back you're digging your bending down you're picking it up all these muscles are engaged also when it's an activity then you will push yourself further than if you were just lifting a deadweight there's no creativity is no beginning middle and end to it but when you're shoveling or even if you're busting up stones there's like i'm going to bust this fucking stone up but i would think busting up stones would fuck you
face up in your body you could hit with shrapnel and shit you probably get cut your messages death by the end of the day you have to have some shit in your ears and you know that you know that handles getting splinters on it they're not giving you hammers so probably give you maybe maybe but i got news for you even with gloves are going to get blisters yeah you swinging hammer all day a sledgehammer breaking rocks and do it five days a week or whatever they make those guys work see they need combine the gym with actual industry like what if you really did need rocks broken up him to golds gym dump 'em outback have people come out and cross trained by slant by hitting the the rocks hookup all the cardio machines to a generator so you get the electricity out of it turn the gym into a working energy and a production machine do you know how much car do you have to do to generate any energy he knows that rough enerji to like power a phone while you're jogging would be very different you couldn't
and keep the lights going in the gym yeah i mean me no no no no no no with the music playing the tv's on and all the fluorescence on good fucking luck solar you could do with solar but the amount of force that you would have to do like on an elliptical machine just to keep your iphone running i don't know if you could do it wow i really think you my phone would require at least as much as you were doing if we were like really fucking hoof in it unless they made a super efficient system but i do no man i don't know i just i would think that if that was the case there would be all sorts of mechanical work arounds for electricity you know i think that would be something that someone would have thought of along time ago if you could imagine if you could get your day's worth of electricity all by doing a twenty minute session on your elliptical machine every day so every not only did you force yourself to get a good exercise in to start your day but when you bank
like that it stores electricity and it powers your entire house for the day air conditioning that we the bad ass and eventually we get to the point where we all have like where they get ion small enough where everyone's got a battery pack you've got a fanny pack has got a battery in it and you got workout in the morning to charge that mother fucker and then you go to work your computer plugs in there it's just got a giant plug and then you so let yourself if you don't have enough juice at the end of the day you don't fuck work on your computer oh yeah well you would you would need that energy it's like in a way that's kind of what people used to have to do when they were chopping wood it's like you had to go out and chop that fuckin would up otherwise you didn't have wood to burn there's this show that i watch sometimes friends don't curious george fraser that's my favorite no it's not
i did raise your thing i never got my room still watching five minutes ago okay yeah it's classic classic sit com formula get one character who is exactly the same as the other character and then just watch the conflict arises and that well it's frazier is one of the weird sitcoms where people don't talk about it yeah that was a big god damn com for awhile here is there's some nobody talks about here's another one right no one a ton and did his other one ready for this john cat show i remember exactly exactly along time you don't hear about it lenny clark was on it lenny a quiz on the set write down like like one soundstage over when i was on news radio it was news is one side joey lawrence next to us and joey lawrence would sit in his car and he would open his do words of his car at some crazy car you know super rich and he would
frank is sound system with his songs plan and he would sit there yes and like fucking yeah rock out to his socks because fucking kid was like eighteen right kid was eighteen out of ferrari or something ridiculous big mercedes i mean he had a ton of cars i mean he was unbelievably wealthy and he would play his muse dave foley took great amusement in this dave foley loved it he was like the lawrence boys out there playing his music again he seems to quite like his own songs saved click lock their wave maybe there is
nothing my love can't fix here's a fever before bieber shadowfell all his clothes are way too big who's beautiful figure that her man i didn't have hair like that when i had her then i had all my hair like i had lost a piece of her i didn't have hair like that but he was he would play this in his in his staying right next to it so right now to him was greg geraldo direct greg geraldo show was or might be fucking up the timeline here i think geraldo might have been first season joey lawrence might have been second season but geraldo show was on there as well and then right over here was the john larroquette show with lenny and we're on the same feed so that we could watch them rehearse so we could much like and i would watch their rehearsals in lyric it was such a dick
he would yell at all the other actors and fucking you that oh my god he was a dick i used to watch him yell at lenny lenny is a big fucking guy and lenny is a guy who's been a lot of fights he's done his share of below and he will punch you in your fucking face but he didn't because he's on the show with this guy and his like victorian episode i tell him john fucking relax your on tv while you so fuck and stressed you know but i would watch him like yell at the cast or throw his fucking script and get all pissed off often you know that that happens on sets it just as people get all fuckin tents they work together all the time and so much stress involved and sometimes people blow off at each other but you getting paid so much money that you start to internalize that what you're doing is at actually that important like the money really shouldn't be that high for what
you're doing and so you start to feel like you really should be giving more and it should be better and it's still a sitcom it's not supposed to be any better well it's also it was the john larroquette show so it's his show at his name on what it was at night there were before this is after night or right yep yep how many seasons did that go brian i would say only three 'cause i barely remember no not i would say only three google it but then i twenty or more when syndication decade i bet it went to syndication i would guarantee it did at least four and night court he had to kind of where he just showed up nailed a couple scenes went home for ten years yeah but it's one of those shows that was on tv when news radio is on it was like a big show and no one talks about it's weird how many seasons four went from ninety three to ninety six yep so four seasons probably one hundred episodes i think that's what they did and then they got out banged out twenty five year well i think is
the magic one hundred that's when they can syndicate that's why newsradio never really got to one hundred those like are joke is that we never we never quite made it you don't get two hundred but we got some ninety eight that's that's hilarious yeah but it's indicated anyway so they didn't need one hundred syndicate but it was an inside joke with us that like yeah that's us fucking never quite made it news dallas short became famous after it was off the air that's when it really became famous i mean it became famous phil died you know but before phil died it wasn't like him because we moved around nine times that's a real number your time a lot nine times over five years and this is pre internet that's right i remember that you know when all over the place where it was and any bad like friday night we got terribly i don't remember where it was i remember there was monday for awhile and there was tuesday and i think sunday but we never got thursday thursday
is like the big night we were on thursday once were like two it was like friends and then us like oh my god this could happen every week but it never happened again yeah with uh the sign of the time slot that urine is so important time slots every and like there was a lot of shows that would be like friends seinfeld and the show would be in the middle you know and they would call it the shit sandwich spot pause him just to god because it's like these amazing shows and then in between these amazing shows would be like sex in the city different world jonathan silverman that show that single single guy in those shows would be unwatchable but they would be sandwiched in between genius shows and so everybody would watch him so everybody wanted those slots a large layered rock in that spot to dna i don't know i don't remember i think they might have launched it there and then take because that's their goal is that's the that's where the that's when the plan
to see they let it grow and then they transplant it hopefully to a tuesday or wednesday where that becomes an anchor for other shows and they can do that now way better because people can alert people the time slots changed but back then no one knew what the fuck was going on once you have tv guide didn't know when the time slot was so we'd move slots also you're taking advantage of the lead in you know just going to thursday night was must see tv people put it on at eight hundred o'clock and they turned it off at one thousand o'clock yeah and it was a tradition for some strange reason like a thursday night tradition mostly because it was great shows like seinfeld i think cheers a thursday night choke is originally so it's uh been like traditionally their spot there's a great book warren littlefield road called top of the rock that's the history of thursday night must see tv he talks about just i mean you realize how random things happen like the casting of friends could have gone eight
different ways literally you have it is people test for a show so you've got three or four actors going in for a role in one day and the fact that they pick jennifer aniston the fact that they picked you know they nailed that cast it was exact i mean i was not into the show i never got it but it is really a very perfect balanced you know ensemble cast they nailed it they casting there's no no mistake but the book tells you about how many ways thanks could have blown over can't guess what the reality is if they did it differently it probably still worked there would have found some other town people say it's not a matter of those are the only gems they could find there's so many god damn talented people that never get a chance that's the craziest thing about acting is you don't have like there's no recourse like if they don't choose you tough shed there's nothing else it's like a comic your undeniable you go up to the improv and destroy then someone's gotta sit com deal goes on after and sucks their own dick
nothing anybody could say it's like if you can't deny the greg fitzsimmons images funny you just saw it it's over he proved it but if you're an actor good luck good fucking luck that's why they're so facetious that's why there's so there's so much fakeness the way they behave this way there's so much anxiety in the actor community like their entire gig is dependent upon someone else's approval yeah when you meet sit com actors there so positive and they so try to make a connection with you and be your friend and he was walking oh wow that's a really good guy and then you realize that mother fucker he's working it is working they have to work it if they don't work it if you're any hint whatsoever that you might be difficult they will move on to step two who's the other guy bring 'em in the uh guy comes in give it to him you know it happens then the cast and once you make it then they trust you i mean you look at the people exactly you look
did kelsey grammar or julie louise dreyfus like some people they just go put him back in the camp fail it's just the writings bad yeah yeah this you know ray romano was the original guy on my gig in the radio yeah they fire him during the taping of the pilot though like this guy just doesn't connect with america yeah leaves and goes off to do a giant way more successful sitcom everybody loves raymond in the title not only you wrong in firing him but in the title it says everybody loves ray thank you don't you didn't think that people well you're so wrong he was so good he literally walked away from the job how often does that happen where they go where only going to ten and i think they talked him into eleven and then they locked away like still with really strong ratings you mean seasons i think they did ten then they bought another one wow we did eleven season i think so check it out
right i know how much money is involved in owning your own show and being an eleven sienna show that by the way is still in the air like that i'm not frazier or these other shows you flip through the channels you'll find every who is raymond on all the time it's still i don't know does he own it to cf some ownership yes ownership yeah without a doubt you can't have i don't know about the human show and he was like i remember i had a development deal the same year he did when it was the raymond deal and his was miniscule i remember almost thinking like oh that's so fucking weird that is so funny and like i know it was like it was like a september development deals at the end of the season and he crawled in and he had been doing letterman so it was a deal with worldwide pants and then they put him together with phil rosenthal and it struggled right now i don't think he have enough juice to get ownership eventually i'm sure he did yeah yeah actually i'm sure they renegotiated it yeah i know he's insanely wealthy nine seasons ninety nine seasons but when i was you know i'm good friends with kevin james
when i was on news radio it was right when like rain i didn't have any mentioned there was actually a guy in between us that got hired to do his gig and then that guy got fired and then i got it so it wasn't like like i was taking over a spot but and brian i'd always been friends and so we were eating at jerry's deli and it was right when he got it and never seen a guy more obsessed with getting thing right like we're all sitting there eating dinner or lunch or whatever the fuck are eaten in braidwood be like what if a guy comes in and he's like he's going through all of his bits like going through the thing like he was just send us it's no no the bits like that were going to happen on a sitcom like he was going through the beats like better do you know it's like had all these ideas and just throw in america they couldn't stay in his head he was so obsessed with getting it right but it was like all day every day it was on his mind i was work catch a rising star in princeton with tom caltabiano paris he changed his name to his like his wing man
basically yonko right counter bianco is not how you say it yeah photographer and he was a writer on ray but anyway he came down and ray was thomas opening me and ray was taking the train from new york to princetonian to keep working on the pilot with tom yeah wow hey works are banned he worries aren't well he's obsessive on the yeah he funny funny funny i just play golf at this club that he belongs to when they tell me like ray yeah little obsessive out here yeah with golf yeah yeah kevin to having kevin around noticing any acts of really kevin plays golf good i just saw the last night of his brother he hurt his shoulder playing golf he did carrie valentine yeah just going crazy he had a shot out of the rough was thick rough and i guess the club got caught and ripped his fucking shoulder apart that going to yeah but imagine enough use hits on the really hard also that stops here right hi sold a tough one man
shoulder has it's a we're joined again like anne i can neither can fix pretty good because knees it's it's fairly simple because it only hinges you know it goes up and but shoulder has all this are yeah translation and movement and you have to apply pressure in three hundred sixty degrees in any given time you're pushing back more word yeah i had shoulder surgery couple years ago did you well all the ligaments and worn out and you know where where the clavicle comes together with that there's three bones come together right here and so they went in and they they they wanted to two spots arthroscopically they saw down each of the three bones a little bit and it creates space and then it causes tissue cost carts issue in which acts like a ligament and my arm fucking one hundred percent i couldn't even lift it and was just i wore it out just from did you tear it there is a life life of throwing objects and being a being a boy throwing things in the big one match
surgery for football players that the that the quarterbacks and also for baseball players a super common yeah something about throwing that's just a lot of stress on the body yeah the good thing about boxing and it does those kind of workouts is especially if you hit a bag you're hitting something so even though there's like resistance at the end of it you're hitting something so it it's not like the snap of like like missing things right the rowing thing when you friend row things is like a cure and sanding and you're starting behind yourself boxing your hands are in front of you so you're you got your by body weight behind everything you're doing yeah and when you hit something like the work out like if anybody wants a great work out get a god damned bag get a heavy bag of you got a garage or basement or something and we can hang it or some place has a bag you could workout it it just fucking set your phone own and timer so for three minutes go hammond you have shit technique just keep hitting it
fucker three minutes you'll be amazed at how exhausted you are and then how good you feel after if you also peace i know any also you can do it if you're married just hit your no egg craig i mean to marry a heavy girl you don't she's or he's like about ten she's it's the one punch your workouts okay you want like a one fifty with a good chin good stout chan makes a strong please it's an anger issues so she pushes back this weekend i got to drive a dodge challenger hellcat that it's going to be your next car really told me that you wanted to yeah don't want to get a challenger yeah for drug you're lucky didn't get the old challengers 'cause they're kind of ship boxes but they've nailed it now oh god oh my god big is the engine car oh change is seven hundred and seven horsepower is that the biggest action engine out there the most powerful muscle car ever built
exactly we will never understand this greg i i knew that you were going to be here today too and i was happy while driving at that i'm gonna get to talk to greg about this what i feel like this is what this is it's pretty good cut cut to way towards the end of this video that was the beginning of it cut away towards the end when he's driving it because for the first like twenty minutes to just talk it's pretty cool it is punch coming out of a turn yet what are the we beat the out of this thing sorry dodge srt only good we just stomped on the gas a lot it's just really fun man it's unbelievable automatic that one is but they sell in a stick to you could buy in a stick you want to stick that visit bill it looks better to my problem with the challenge is always the visibility it's kind of the key out of the passenger side when you look in back that right corner yeah is a little funky but whatever this is a start at it's not that much it's like sixty thousand dollars and i'm telling
which is a lot of money but for that car for seven hundred and seven horsepower and biggest production engine out there and you're getting it for less than it's so comfortable that's what's fucked up like these cars like they figured out how to make the suspensions and the seats and everything where it's like a cadillac i swear to god do you'll be blown away i didn't can put it like there's modes you could put it in you can put in like track mode i didn't put it on track to look how awesome that that is play that sound so you can hear it when he's doing that because it's uh i'm so room for dodge this is how cats the code name of the engine right this is not even doing it justice because he's inside of it with the cameras we like the name so much right it was so fitting for the guard right right little bounce back and do it so smooth drive it it's it's so comfortable because this huge yeah it's four thousand pounds it's not like a little car it's leading lady gaga and rusting
this is designed to ruin the earth ok you supposed to take part in ruining the earth with a smile on your face in a fucking glass of shivers regal in your hand smoking at dunhill stomp the gas and you can see the tsunami behind you as you outrun it knowing you caused it whoa who that it is what it sounds like that wind noise that's weird noise jesus christ listen to these things for you crank him to the roof that's just the wind that's 'cause they put a camera on the outside gopro the wind noise off on those things but the sound it actually makes there's one video it says a hell
sound words just exhaust it soak it it literally raises your testosterone yeah hi this guy in gad saad he's a but his his ease some super intelligent sophisticated phd type character i forget what is a degree is in but he was talking about that's me that's not funny for next guard looking sexy as fuck wow love that has been photoshopped on the underground on mixedmartialarts dot com to the point of no return always every every possible see i can't imagine what they would do to it at least put out every possible gay scenario that is beautiful it's beautiful car car looks good find that the challenger sound this it's just the sound actually raises your testosterone like literally raises your testosterone my brother in law and he bought two kind of junk up dot seventy three dodge challengers is any just he's a
he's a motor head he put him together and may this be to full size in the car is it corralling sounds so good did that's what i'm that's american car that you can buy i'm telling you the you're driving if you like this is so nice the inside of it is like comfortable yeah it's got like all i'll contar which is like that artificial swayed everywhere it feels good the dash is great it's a incredible car as i'm so happy they finally start making like real american muscle cars again because for the he tried for a while and they were just like you guys are missing yeah and then like five years ago they just went back to the original plan
that's all we wanted big engine lots of power lots and even the body shape they went back to the original i that's only one there's one with eddie bravo behind me these smacking me in the head it's hilarious so funny that's great love those things fucking photo shops back in the day man people would get really upset if other people made fun of him like that but i don't i don't get that i think it's funny like people get mad like they hate you the matter you like no they're not mad at you they're making fun of you can be made fun of this a change you as a person you don't think that's funny kimbo slice bang in may over the side of a car that's hilarious yeah i just and you know french stewart no he was from third rock sunny was the kitty squint squinted a loss show anyway he he was heavily parity he was telling me about like when he was at his top like snl was parroting of jimmy fallon like
how far is the john lithgow show right yeah yeah yeah reception kid an s parkwood regularly re mom for being a horrible actor and all that and he's like he's like honestly i fucking loved it he goes it really made me feel like i had made it that's funny yeah i'm american dad emailed me wants no shit i was on fear factor yeah i pulled up like drinking a beer in a car and i was looking for strippers and pulled up in a car drinking and then i met said macfarlane they did his other show i did cleveland show now the other the the the sec american dad no the other one family guy family guy did family guy i did i played me on family guy i did my own voice guy once put those funny he's a nice yeah i'm an ass mcfarlands are very friendly likes miley guy you know who's cools fuck judd apatow
judd apatow was at the the tonight he's just hanging out with us like everybody else was me and him and aleah and jeffries gym jefferies were hanging out over by the hallway by where the bathroom is there's no green room and the holy improv which is the most ridiculous thing ever like delete it was like there's no green room like nobody thinks about the fact is no green room so yeah if we were in pittsburgh would be like fuck this place but cousins in town will just accept the fact is nowhere to stand in between shows but jenn just hanging out with everybody else yeah he came on my podcast one time and then i went on about six months ago and i have talked about how i thought girls was a really bad show and i didn't realize that he created it and the truth is that only seen like five minutes but i just saw like all i saw was hipsters and i was like i fuck it i hate hipsters and so i just immediately judge the show and talk shit about it so then somebody of course tweets out to me and judd hey judd how do you feel like right
some insane your show is an he said more than over stated what i said like says shit you and so then judge lied to him that's a lie greg fitzsimmons is you know a funny guy and he gets it and he's a friend and he would never say that so then i emailed them like dude i'm so sorry i honestly haven't even seen the shell and i didn't know you created it and he gave me like a giant free pass and so i went off and i watched it and honestly not not shitting you i watched the first season and it's actually really good show i don't like chapstick i jumped the gun app stores either but the great father the great father yeah i mean if you're going to do a sitcom and you didn't have hipster it today you're not thinking straight hipster would be like one of the perfect people to fuck with yeah it's like the yuppies of the 80s even better because
take themselves way seriously and part of their stick about being a hipster is you're too cool for everything yeah you're too cool over it and so over this i'm so over that you're not allowed to get excited about it and you have to keep moving on because it is not a hipster the ultimate hipster so crazy nick use it when he was on the podcast showed no hipster whatsoever he's a normal cool dude who happens to be a comic you need to follow his twitter because he has like things where he how to wash your jeans and like like with like toothbrushes and shit hipster make an appointment for brian bought these jeans where you don't ever wash them but yeah i think
since two jeans now there's no jeans read don't ever want no i swear to god change dirty bitch now this is a certain type they're made of a material that supposed to like mold to your body so you never wash it up fuck outta here that's so ridiculous it's just someone's fiction he talks about in his podcast yeah but the person who created those jeans right that's their fiction yes no it's clothes you fucking dirty bitch if you get funky and close what the clothes magically have little cleaning robots that run around inside your dick and clean out where you're farting in your fucking pants levis though levi jeans no no no they're saying not to wash your jeans that's what they're saying don't have to wash that's what they're saying that you wear it like a jacket now you don't wash your jacket there saying after washing jeans i sweat i sweat all the time carriage get all met with my legs everything my my body cools itself well i get shit done
and my jeans get wet and i'm not wearing wet smelly ammonia of stinking jeans because my sweats gone through and then it's dried out and it's got this faint whiff of funk that once i fart in a pair pants they're going on the lights over specially five yogurt in the morning levi's i think you should just freeze your jeans instead of washing to kill bacteria in their disgusting disgusting do they not understand that we have washing machines now we're not living in the fuckin one thousand nine hundred and ten when you have to do that shit with a rock and a fucking flat board member those washboards freezer yeah honey why is this turk taste like someone's ball i do balls wash my jeans as much as regular clothes though i would say i'd say like maybe i'll wear my ten times that's a lot but i'm comfortable with wearing them for a weekend i wear
same jeans two days in a row no problem like if i go on the road if i don't feel like packing a lot of shit i'll throw in one pair of jeans i'll throw in a backup pair just in case shit hits the fan because my fucking bridge troll body doesn't fit normal jeans i have to get spus fujino really mean yeah i can't wear like like leave as fifty ones they don't two big your leg my size they won't they won't go over past my knees i get above the knee and then it hits the troll part of me if you tried to sweat pants one or the stretchy jeans that look like damn sexy i'm trying too hard because you gotta think my ass sticks out a lot in the thighs so my dick will be much smushed in them to her ever trying to get a better look at my desk honestly i don't see that on the head of it you are here but you do i not in today i'm back to the original jeans the fuck end lightweight gated lose lacks 80s jeans i went back to button for these are luckys luckys fit me
lucky for whatever reason lucky jeans they may come now there are more would loose yeah lucky zorlu yeah more abelisaur lou don't fuck you don't know as long as we want we look good now that's a terrible fucking photo shop some peoples photoshop skills just awful really awful everything is out of perspective is three different people in there they used parts from gotta learn how to manipulate images kids the challenger needs to be your car grateful simmons we're not getting any younger yeah i get back to the if you're not going to get that get a camaro they have the zl1z28 is two new cars they have standard you get him with a manual just like that that comes with a manual but they sound fantastic what about the mustang gt that's another good one that's if i'm going to get one i'm getting at all the new mustang gt thirty five thousand dollars and it's fucking one hundred and twenty horsepower it's right in that previous or the ones that
well if you got a they don't have a two thousand fifteens out yet but if you got a two thousand fourteen the two thousand fourteen so great car it's a great card loud as shit and you probably get a really good deal atom they have four hundred plus horsepower the coyote engine it's a it's a four and finally the former is that your street team baseline one a gt it's not expensive what is far as like what you get bang for your buck you can't do any better the mustang gt it's a god damn fast car and the old cars like in the 1970s like when a challenger came out like the nineteen seventy challenger fifty seven thousand and seventy one those cars were ridiculous it's four hundred and four the horsepower no didn't see anything like that with death defying fucking brakes the brakes were retarded they were awful drum brakes in the rear you stomped on the gas the whole car went sideways no traction control no nothing just a regular bay this mustang gt will bury that car bury it and
able to corner and have anti lock brakes be able to corner and then they have the other one like the laguna seika mustang dude it's a great fucking car the laguna seca mustang is like the month they had a three hundred and two boss which is uh really good version of the mustang as well as like four hundred and twenty somewhere around horsepower and it's a great handling car and then they took it to the next level with this laguna seika mustang is like forty grand forty granted beats and m3 around a race track it's incredible chancey inside a little bit this is like plastic shit here and plastic shit there but seats feel good sounds great massive balls you know as far as like a car be honest with that what do you driving that car for you driving that car for the fun of it like that's the want to hear the rumble in the engine to feel the acceleration when you stomp on the gas or shift your gears have a good time what do you give a fuck what it looks like
that's not what this car is about now i'm not about the valley parking i'm about the four hundred and five at two hundred in the morning when it's why i'm coming back from the ice house and it's fucking late going up laurel canyon on the way to the improv coming over down the mel road bob fun up to a red light in beverly hills and there's some young asian boy in the next car an eyeball and pull up at laguna seca mustang i don't think they're making us anymore i think that's you probably still find some of them that around lots that they haven't so yeah but what about this new oh that's ridiculous car i had one that for gt500 convertible the prominent vertical doors it feels like you could die yeah i'd only movement there's nothing above your heart look at that car that car
is i believe somewhere around four hundred and twenty horsepower an unbelievably faster natural laguna yeah it's like forty grand and those we also standard with it yeah that's what it looks like yeah jeff involving garman he could be a man again but you would be a man again gregory i remember what it was like at her but it's fun you don't need to her know it's not coming back you don't need their share the rest of it be a light bulb but be light bulb in a fucking fun card enjoy yeah maybe you take to wear in crazy sunglasses like elton john or maybe i wear the wigs like phil spector spector imagine we started doing that and you and i just started wearing wigs and all of our shows and never address never address it no no jokes about it no people ask questions yeah i'd like to not only weird what you're saying is everywhere you go every day is different now yeah sometimes we wear a bald caps with her on the side like bozo the clown
mohawks wonder sometimes it's an afro never bring it up trade him out with each other sometimes it's like farrah fawcett like farrah fa in the 70s you get like little curls and shit yeah wallets mullets all kinds of weeks just never work for guys i stated chick hood a shaved head shave their heads along time ago was like early 90s she shaved her head and more wigs just one of the country singer she was just very extent yeah but she she would fucking rock a diff like sometimes she would show up at the comedy store wouldn't even know it was her you know i was like oh hey this is one at first move to la so i didn't really know how wacky people got you know uh been around that many wacky folks this chick was you know someone who came to hollywood with sincere
becoming even wackier famous yeah didn't workout but just talented check but crazy she wore wigs there is it's eddie bravo spanking me i can't hit me in a header that you look like bruce wells i think he's getting both to ask in the head crack crack crack the huge eight that's not agree people who are exactly you think you think about like the borscht belt comics you know like freddie roman these guys they slap that a little glue slap that shit on head to the gig through on the tuxedo put on a nice ass piece and during the day nothing they're working out bald headed then workout now now at the fry's some of these guys worked out 'cause they had heart attacks and they yeah they had like get a stairmaster i think it had an ashtray on the side of it but you're talking about like late in their life yeah yeah well i'm talking about like when they were like touring the cats
bills there was working out but their wigs ever wigs will run the top right paid line there you want me in the ass that would be could you see the photos of mickey roarke with a wig now oh my god so hilarious make you orc wears a hairpiece now and it's the most ridiculous piece of all time when he was wearing in the new york and they got these photos of them it's it's so crazy it's almost like he's like is he being silly is but then you see him when he was on was the jimmy kimmel show he had the hairpiece like quaffed and it looked pretty good but it's it's crazy exactly he's like sixty something years old just like shave your fucking head it would be funny like to do a one hour especially this loser dear god dear god and it is a shower cap yeah and this is not even the worst photo there's this even worse photos of it but you read it it doesn't make
because it's coming out of nowhere to win big and it doesn't match the hair that's underneath well it's always the side here by their ears when you see like a little like land linsey side here by their ear but then the top is this lush main doesn't make any sense like i think for my next one hour special i'm going to shave my head and get a silly wig and just wear it why not why not about like a big red one like a big carrot top style what is that is that a different wig that's a different one he's got a i think he's having fun look at the guy in the right hand corner he's jealous mel gibson wish i had done wigged out wig is beautiful mickey let me tell you mickey god is my witness that wig looks so real that is so realistic no one knows if we tell you they know their fucking assholes did you go to rv in the bronx where did you get that peace my peace i look like there's a skunk asleep on my head but this other ones of the gray one that's the brown one he's got a gray one
the gray ones the most ridiculous 'cause it's like wait a minute what's going on here you get all that gray hair like look at it there's that's a good one it's so crazy plus he said work on his face right as far head got pumped up maybe it it's better now than it looked in the past quite honestly he used to have chin or cheek implants yeah who when the fighter you really saw it oh yeah yeah his face was kind of fucked up to the movie with when he was a professional wrestler like pass this prime or the wrestler the wrestler the fighter was the mark mark right yeah but data he actually is face it looks at least like a normal older guy now there was one point time we had these crazy cheek implants put in his face yeah his whole face just puffy look like he got stung by bees see if you find those pictures mickey rourke cheek implants how many people watched this as they are listening to the podcasts way less like it's ninety percent of them just listen but a lot of times folks of like will says
like this the right down the guy cut and then like text me tweet me or something later like what the i just saw mickey royce hair yeah thanks a lot dick now i can't sleep but the like i or he you guys talking about and i had a look but he i'm that is like that's something that happens to a lot of those people that are like there it's sort of like separated from rational thinking the get this body dysmorphia thing going on yeah there's pictures of him like there's like that's post face strong but there's ones like the one that you just crossed over brian red sure little lower than that that's yeah right there that looks like he's got the cheek implants in place how good looking he was when he was young he remembered that was the pope greenwich village einar that's like nine one slash two weeks ago yeah oh man yeah you can't but like that thing that happens when you pull your face back like that you can't do that but that's not better
a better that's that's different no you did it you look like a burn victim look weird your shiny your face all stretched out and it shows that you care wait much like not getting better right just getting different it's it's like you're screaming i can't handle that i'm getting older i'm panicking like there's some you could do that actually does make you look better like i guess if you have a ridiculous knows and you get that it's trim down you're happy with it good for you but that's a slippery slope you don't see big noses like he used to very rare nope nobody keeps vanished the gal salada seventeenth birthday presents she has a high school girl did it turned changed her look so radically but she kinda over did it like she had a she had this sheet the poor girl was a beautiful girl with a crazy nose and she got a crazy knows trim down and she looked beautiful but the nose had like that ski slope thing going on and that little smashed
front there's a little bit of a flat part in the middle of it they went too hard yeah like they needed to just leave on just like a millimeter more let it be a little bit big a little just wrong hi daddy yeah yeah it matched her face better yeah but it was like obvious that something's going on like if you're looking at her face you couldn't but noticed someone over there knows yeah and then a lot of times those days those things collapse like i was at right and they have to build them back up yeah that then you can run the complications at times they have to use a piece of your cartilage from your rib to recreate the cartilage inside you i wonder how many nose jobs that you could find there's got to be a number of nose jobs that are performed every year and you could figure out what percentage of the population that's bruce jenner before he became a woman though he's different now
he grew up in my town bruce jenner terry got long nails now yeah long manicure there was some talk about it being pre op that he might go for it it looks like he's going for it yeah if i had to get i mean i don't like to gossip yes i do i don't like to gossip too much about it looks like they're troubled but he looks like he's trebled it doesn't look he's going for a look it looks like it's going on like it's going on is living with the kardashians that's obviously terrible for you yeah that's be toxic i'd rather live in chernobyl then live in that house and try to keep my sanity with cameras are so you can't even be bitchy to them yeah i think if i live in chernobyl i could wear some sort of suit that we have checked me does not suit that protects you from dopes if you're in the house of those dummies your skin look better too if you lived in chernobyl in his does not only have the strategy of just constantly seeking attention like there's like okay
that's weird wow that's weird there's that's that is shop no no no that's not just a guy who's kind of out of shape who's older no that's that's we and there's another one recently with a shows his nails like it shows like he has long name also no matter how no matter what you started with once you've gotten the third facial surgery it all ends at michael jackson they can he looks like michael jackson in that picture well body dysmorphia is real shit man you know it's real shit like there's his nails it's not that long ago mines about that long sometime please unless your opinion i've seen them longer than that yeah either way the guy looks like he's traveled there is a guy you know you think about famous people that are kind of enigmas like he didn't do anything except the seventy six olympics he won the decathlon he is a you know before the car dash
is people in america new bruce jenner the only thing you did was a wheaties box and the decathlon that's crazy that was fuck forty years ago is crazy yeah that's when we put it that way yeah you're right you got people that like john larroquette he can walk into a mall and nobody would know who the dude was true the only reason why he still like the only reason still famous is because the kardashians but a fact but prior to that he was in the national consciousness people who knew bruce jenner as a maybe as a subject maybe as a name but not a someone you recognize yeah i don't think you would recognize yeah his resurgence is entirely based on living with all these attention whores that's what it's all about the 70s had those kind of stars that you had evil knievel who you know there had never been a stuntman before that's true he was the first he was like you know what bob marley is to reggae like
is the only reggae guy anybody ever give a fuck about or ever will jimmy cliff yeah he was in the band now that's true but basically you know you got jackass and all those guys so that that's that's the first time there's been stunt people right and then you had you know certain comics that were famous from the 70s that we're just weird like what's the name tiptoe through the tiny tim was famously should still famous people still know who tiny tim that's true does letterman right what is it think so yeah i think on letterman i think they got married on the letterman show did name like in vegas him and whatever her name is miss miss something while yeah yeah you're saying it's it's weird how fame you can't predict who's is going to last with fame you know like of the charlie's angels you do know far
going to guess you kind of new pharaoh is going to be the one yeah but you thought the other ones would be pretty big too yeah jaclyn smith i mean all she do is hair shampoo commercials for the rest of her life she was honest fuck hot as fuck my kid is watching charlie's angels reruns right now i watch one yesterday try pulling your awful way i could stare at those chicks all day it's also weird that you're kind of like when you watch a show like that it's not just that all you know jaclyn smith pretty but it's also like this is a time capsule like this is they've captured this stuff that went on in the 1970s and you watch it again right that's weird man weird and they're out fits me talk about the bootleg jeans they they were wearing this the seven day in capsule lated seventies fashion yeah no man you know like denim denim vests in the feather hair and they probably for in a big part where one of the reasons why i became so popular right
why the fashion did now i'm sure on those shows i'm sure like i guarantee the dukes of hazzard prob really influence a lot of idiots to wear cowboy boots daisy dukes often times it is you get your yeah doubt right launch that do have she might've been hans check ever on tv ever yeah see right christy from fucking company daisy duke company how dare you i'll take because you're broken is your insides are rotting you have to go to a dark retelling you go to a doctor christie's right but she's not as hot as daisy do you know is pretty hot even though she's almost there but she's older so you can't compare it let you go for an old pic of catherine bach y fuck i know what you're going to do but the chick from modern family latina woman she's older dude i'll take it yeah she's only forty i mean but she looks like she's thirty tits still look like i don't know you can fake it they have there just is some about cleavage you can
shit up but she doesn't push it up where it's training is a little bit of bounce little bit about little jiggle but yet there's there's pie their pie shaped their per clear round she's stupid hot an and that accent puts it right over the top you stupid hot end this element of knowing that this is not going to last like what you far as you're looking at a flower that's been cut and you put it in the vazan this just like something even extra beautiful about the fact that it's not even attached to the root anymore you got today to look at it like this this is it tomorrow is going to be wilted the day after that you're going through for right now the hunter thomas of hot yeah thompson i say thomas jesus christ okay you know boulder hot yeah but day duke dirtier chrissy's bending over like fuck me in the asshole i'll tell you waht like who's done a better job of keeping it together both of 'em both of 'em failed
no we kidney she did the exercise videos she kept it tight for a little bit for a little bit smith still doing that shampoo commercials that's not jaclyn smith though that's daisy duke that's all no we work faris nipples were permanently erect on that show they probably iced him up before every scene i bet they do event date because guys will get like pumped up and guys do a push ups and stop before scenes to pump up their muscles yeah i guarantee they do that yeah they were for it fuck yeah yeah was everything that was what you're selling if you're selling your selling cars we leave him dirty or would you polish women get to polish the car gotta polish the car you selling cars you silent it's what you doing get that ice cube out honey yeah i'm wearing the headlights on his cell without watching it for the story nobody's watch
for the story that's when she died man that was one of those things was like wow wow farrah fawcett's dead that was just hard to wrap my head around because when i was a kid she was aunt it was at everybody how to farrah fawcett poster on the wall every girl did and it was that one poster of her like smiling and she had the feathered hair and everything like that like she influenced a whole generation aware that here it's gotta be the quintessential poster in america of all time probably most famous posters ever yeah yeah yeah that's it right there look at her on real and the nipple you can't see that's not high def so you can't see the nipple but the nipple is very proudly displayed in this monster yeah many of the photos of the nipple rock and she's so pretty yeah she's like one of the first television bombshell types right yeah i mean my favorite is you know i take it back my fear was wonder woman
old wonder woman lynda carter lynda carter stuff tough to look at now yeah not did she looks was there you go there it is in the carter i mean it doesn't look terrible but she's an older woman now it's when you remember how beautiful she was when she was wonder woman i wish they would die no i wanna see what it ruins it you know it's fucked though man like it's weird when you go back and watch like batman or any of those old school like superheroes no one worked out no one but catherine potbelly you look at catherine bach there she didn't workout look at her legs style machine shared everybody was all mushy and sloppy there were good for a couple days john wayne belly and shit in maine with little skinny arms got that looks out but look at the gap but the badge look at the gap between the legs off sisera thighs dude her fucking
she was a athlete shoes an olympic athlete i believe oh my god she's hot ok so let's all agree she's the hottest shit yeah i think she is another with the hottest she's really i'll wait a minute we're getting a major contender who barbara eden i dream of genie she went she wouldn't mind she went she went and she subservient shell to weak who's beautiful she was yeah yeah there's a oh my god long island that fucked her yeah yeah life though right in life but he can say he did it she's still does it matter how well she was but she would like you know fucking find a guy i'm gonna come on let's do this yeah but she knew she could you know she was god damn barbara eden i know some that's actually relate in life i should say digitally this well this somebody who allegedly had no i know we definitely had sex how late in life really hospital road like
actually it's a wonder woman i don't think i like this girl that's a horrible post yeah let's try another let's find another one is wonder woman you can find a bad one too i'm sure you found a good one no we also heard me on but she wasn't like a few years before she died well who is not bomb shell hot but we stole my heart was valerie bird alley one day i can talk to anymore really yeah you become a from personal shit i don't trust your just like that i mean 'cause you did a moment ago now microsc raise drunk something who is she married eddie van halen how bad could you be there little tiny amount of back fat is like ale is no wonder woman should even workout man they didn't workout back there's got to be a better picture of it but wonder woman i'm sure i had a little bit of i don't mind a little bit of body fat i think it's hot i like woman to have little softness to them i love kim kardashian i mean i don't
per person or soul but i love that body to her body's friend now with the asses fat or real or real fat whatever it is ridiculous ridiculous like if you don't get excited by that you dick stop working right now you're a closeted homosexual if that's not working for you diksha sad yeah dick doesn't want full pleasure indexing uh i'm just wanted skinny girl cuts me with their hips like a guy who buys a prius when he wants a mustang or give this challenger now if i'm going to do it it's the mustang why is that because i i had a fetish for mustangs as a kid i still do i think i need the fact that it's the fortieth anniversary is kinda fiftieth anniversary it's will the new ones going to have independent rear suspension was going to make a big difference in the way it handles fifteen yeah they'll be out pretty soon i think they're out in the fall which is you know basically right here god she was so hot well oh she's so hot is ridiculous yeah linda have been the hottest woman of all time
she might win she might win yeah is well look at that i don't know who is this shut the one from modern family my god she wins she wins now she wins everybody women that are listen to this right now like fuck you yeah talk about we talked about jim morrison being hot we talked about joey lawrence being hot yeah he was beautiful we did allowed for the ladies on this specially since we don't feel it assume that he's hot you know i mean i see how you would be attracted no no i totally i felt your energy when he came on so i understood that he was hot in his own this time don't do dum dum but jackson early 90s know like playboy cover blackened it was never into that now i was found it to be so like a racial i need a race pick a race well i just i just when someone is like a pop superstars there's four
sit down your throat they never seem sexy to me you always see like oh here's this crazy person right let me what's your name uh miley cyrus yeah it's like they want you think she's hot now but you know it was britney spears was a child star and they forced around and she was fucking hot yeah but she was hot in a way that like like if i saw a bunch of peacocks and there was a female peacock that was an exceptional specimen i was like wow that's a beautiful peacock is like that it's like to me hot i mean yeah physically yeah undeniable shape and all that very beautiful but right now i'm not interlockings pulling me towards that yeah everything's push me away from that yeah that's she's down that's madness it's raising its like that has to be part of the picture it has to be who is the person like keeping you interact with it can't just be the way they look the way they look is great i mean it's important it's it's
something gives you charge but if you know that their personalities all out of wack like you like but i want a little out of whack the thing that attracted me me as an insecure guy when i was single was a woman yeah i saw the end i saw that dad left or you know she's got she's got like a unibrow you i would find that one thing i'll be like i got a shot that make me so much more attractive for girls perfect i felt nothing and it wasn't even that i didn't think i could get her it just made me feel like too much work it will also like somebody was little fucked up there going to you're going to fucking connect with them is going to be a charge between it 'cause you both need something bad to complete yourself that's a good point yeah i definitely felt that way like girls had really good relationships with their family no i know girl like you know they want you to go hang out with their parents right yeah not really now especially if you could relate i want to girl who needs help finding her phones at
nicki minaj is new video this is the one that fucking jamie keeps going on and on about it won't stop talking about it it's so much but and it's like there's parts where she's finger yourself in in video i love that my kids see this shit well her ass is ridiculous there all ass everybody's got ass if you look at if you look at miley cyrus is twitter avatar that she that she put her own version of her phone cover on it and looks like she has a right as too that's an illusion their photo shop the shit out of that that girl weighs eighteen pounds still stick figure yeah this is very boy like with her body like when that thing came out in the video music awards and she danced around and rubbed up against scott you can see like she's very guy like or skinny she's like skinny girl nicki minaj she's athletic it's not supple yes that girls just a fuck house
you look at her and you're like whoa i mean that's just fucking just come that's just cars is backed up like a camel yeah all the loads of his shot in or yeah pump it up it is caught she's all sex or also talked with come you like some girls like they have to they have to do something to look sexy when a girls built like that it's like gee and then on top of that she's doing all the sexy shit sticking her ass up in the jennifer lopez was like that enterprise isn't it amazing now we're talking about like john wayne and batman all that shit the difference between how the women are portrayed the difference between how singers are portrayed the music videos the photographs all that stuff and then go back and think about like simon yeah there was none carole king and janis joplin janis shop
it wasn't the most attractive woman in the world but she was funny man she like didn't like women like there's an in with janis joplin is that her miley cyrus miley cyrus version of this cover him listen man that's photoshopped that's not her ass yeah that shouldn't really that's like that not that is really nicki minaj is real but that no that's obviously same at yeah it's exactly the same it's a photo shop look exactly see the crease on the top of the thigh is exactly the same the top left i don't ever go to the other one again this is like a cartoon you show me a cartoon what we're talking about we're talking about her ass about how for some women they almost it's like they've extracted the blueprint in the dna of men of what makes uh orgasm and they have just projected it on a body what i don't know what i was saying was that you never saw this from artists in like the seven right you never saw this from women that were like super attractive like like linda ronstat you know suit beautiful beautiful woman
so when she was young and inner prime you never saw her in underwear even nikki fleetwood mac stevie nicks she was big she was always like a little like the chick from heart what should i didn't think she was big then she get big i think she got big but now when they were in their prime swiss angelic but she was wearing flowing shit she never show on our body well that was a woman from heart big in the beginning or did she get she and well since she started small and she got bigger this anna nancy wilson one of a married the famous director the where did dazed and confused who's that i don't remember that's the blonde who is the blonde one yeah yeah but she ann wilson singer yeah for hellyeah well it was a different one those wilson phillips does different animal totally different animals she got big tits she looks
it kinda yeah just like carney had like your sister was like super skinny and she was like really big and it was like baffling didn't she'd be like a talk show for awhile well i think he was wasn't she the daughter of the mommas and the papas yes can't be a good no can be a good guy grown up in that fucking crazy household now but that and wilson from heart what a voice she lost all that weight good for her that what happen right she lost all the weight and then she did talk show or something like that is that answer an does the big one that car horn okay yeah good for her did she have the at like stomach feeling yeah i think so that's a that's a weird thing man you know i was talking to a friend you had that done she had it done like twenty years ago he was saying that it's not just that like that does make you lose weight she has but to keep it off like you got to go to counseling
whatever it is that made you overeat like that you got gotta dress that you got to get on top of that i know a guy who's been drinking hard his whole life you just want to get a shot to stop drinking it's like you know that maybe make you averse to alcohol your body is going to go for something else you got to deal with why you're drink it to stop drinking yeah i didn't the hand that was to do that and i all i know is he said he was going to his appointment to get it famous famous guys is like pepper it's not i should start saying these famous names should start or should i should start saying on there so you would you want anybody saying your story in this case no probably right i'm the opposite of a name dropper that's a sad thing man it's a sad thing that monster that eats at your soul you can't let go the when you i no longer you do it the harder it gets because the more you think that it's really part of you i know putting something i can tell you first hand it's the most freeing empowering thing in the world because you think this thing that was
stopping your energy that you believe was built in your foundation you get freed of it and you all a sudden like you take a giant chunk of low self esteem and lop it off you have been a month a bunch of dudes that used to be junkies and now like super hyper athletes yeah like a lot a lot of competitive guys like in the ufc even as a few guys that you have seen that were junkies and then they became matt brown was a top welterweight contenders part of this whole story is he died he had an overdose and fucking died and came back no shaved and now he's a monster destroys people he's like one of the top guys in the world alice cooper's like a pro golfer now is he re any is that good yeah wow he doesn't live in arizona arizona plays at the biltmore hotel in phoenix there's a famous course their replays desolate so he do this time just plays golf i did a benefit there with uh with gary valentine and he came out he played schools
for summer and eighteen all these hit songs with the full makeup on the whole thing in this fucking for a charity for like two one hundred people did full on gave one hundred percent and then hung out and talked to people afterwards and then play the golf tournament all weekend took office makeup though yeah he said he's a conservative isn't it yes is that interesting well you don't think you could live in that part of the world if you weren't you can't scotts dale like the phoenix gather that's hardcore cocaine conservatism sheriff jail yeah that's juror or piles yeah that's like fear of mexicans and then cocaine all mixed up together and sunscreen so you get the cooking from the mexican and then you get afraid of them and then you get sunscreen just seeping those chemicals into your skin and sort of a weird way need to is annex then lay by the pool wack fucking balls around the grass that should not be there by the way a spell
place that has a massive drought right right massive no route water and you're talking about a three square mile piece of real estate in just so that so that a hundred she falls can entertain themselves for four hours yeah when people go like why does a golf course cost two and fifty million dollars a year run yeah if it does yeah like me not not much but if you get a membership in a prime country club like you to pay like a hundred thousand there's two hundred thousand dollars or some of those places yeah they don't in any riffraff they want to make sure they get some money and what they do is it's a right the reason i can afford it is because they call it undeveloped park land and so the environment us it's call for them in every city and so they're able to get a full right off because they call it basically like why wild land yep meanwhile being fertilizer and chemicals into the ground water everyday i can't believe that's only a call it undeveloped parkland it's just
people paradise that's all it is yeah and when they buy these big membership state yeah there's like a bond ran and yet they're like half million donald trump's got courses right at you it's like a million dollars a minute some don but you're splitting ownership of the club with the other maybe two two hundred members so maybe that a million half a million but then you can sell that bond when you leave and it could be worth more money that's a but it keeps the club from ever being sold because think about it riviera country club in fucking brentwood do you know how much money you would make in condos if you put condos on that land and instead you got a hundred white guys playing golf there one day do the math on that yeah no right this is one place that i was in the history channel office was talking to about a show and i was looking out the window at this country club it must be beverly hills there beverly hills cunt yeah i don't know there's a there's if there's like two on the west side that are primo it's the most
this thing ever because you looking at hundreds of acres in the prime of beverly hills looking out this window you like how much is that worth like that spot right out might be worth billions yeah might be worth it a billion dollars to think about it one green is you know five thousand square feet that's enough to put how you know what the land on the land with tear down house in beverly hills is one five million dollars time is that by green there's baby that amount of space this for twenty of those on a whole that's twenty million a whole a whole times eighteen holes that's like a half a billion dollars all my god and it's right there right there and it's using up insane amounts of water there was a i think it was a vice article i don't know who put it up but it was about like if we we are taking this drought seriously we need to band golf courses
everyone saying don't wash your car fuck you about golf courses a good look at what a golf courses like what you're talking about is insane you're using up more there's some fucking statistic like the i'll i'll pull it up band golf golf calls courses but it better comes up there's some statistics about what the amount of just in california alone california and florida are like the number one spot for golf courses in every arizona right there too but it's it's an china has a golf van i saw a an article about how many courses because they over expanded when when tiger woods came along golf got so big they were building courses every where and then when he got caught with the waffle house waitress it all went away and there are hundreds of courses around entry and they just showed photos weeds chest high weeds growing all over the entire course to just abandoned
is that it is a vice article and said set of killing lawns we should be banning golf cuz i tell not the water their lawn yeah it's vice yeah this is what they're saying this is this is the statistics because it's it's pretty crazy the average golf course this three hundred and twelve thousand in gallons of water how often de doesn't say hold on family for the average american family for you so per day ready for this yeah per day the average amer family of four uses four hundred gallons of water a day the average golf course uses three hundred and three hundred and twelve oz and gallons of water a day okay so each golf course uses as much water as seven hundred and eighty families of four in pa springs immediately adjacent to a place called the palm desert that npr reported each of the cities fifty seven courses uses about a million gallons a day
one million gallons a day can you go back to the numbers of people that are actually using it it's insane it's minute so it's the same amount of water as two thousand five hundred families of four everyone in palm springs 'cause palm springs is not a spring so desert it's gotta get the water from california or from the colorado river we steal it from them that's the reason why that whole salton sea exists you know the salton sea which is is this gigant like in land sea that is in the areas near the palm desert why is to see well that's what's crazy it was a c because they flooded the area with the colorado river back in like the 50s or some shit like that along time ago and there's a bunch of great documentaries on the salton sea because it's totally polluted now it's polluted with farm runoff and it became like super salty and people still pull fish out of it and eat it and people still
live there but it was at one point in time these to called the inland riviera like it was beautiful like pull up the salton sea the in land riviera like there's some videos i nevada no no it's it's california dude it's a huge in land sea it's enormous and if you saw it you would be like what the fuck is so that's all that farm country up there so it's all just draining all coming down to palm springs and it's so fucked up that there's beaches on the salton sea that are all bones it's not sand it's fish bones where they have these die offs these fish die offs of a million fish will die off i mean this is what it looks like now but look this is the salton sea this is an inland lake they created that huge yeah let it play a little bit like this with this i like the music it's called the salton sea it's the largest body of law
here in california and it's not even supposed to be there at the turn of the last century and engineering screw up of epic proportions diverted the colorado river into one of the lowest hottest bland basins in the united states it took two years to spend the time and when the flooding finally stopped three hundred and fifty square miles of desert lay underwater everyone assumed the giant inland sea they had created by accident would just dry up but when it didn't real estate developers tried to turn an ecological disaster into and uh air is trivia miracle in the desert old you are planned for the crowded millions and big cities a palm springs with water i love guys back then he's in a boat and he's got a suit and tie on and will be right beside the blue solvency as the place for you to take charge of your
future you can come as you are aware of these fish enjoy life at the riviera tourists flock to a place that had once been unforgiving desert people bought homes built schools restaurants clubs but then the sea turned on them over the years its water fed only by agricultural runoff became saltier than the ocean but doesn't poisoning killed millions of fish with a massive die off during the height of one hundred and twenty degrees summers made the air almost unbreathable the scene began to flood unpredictably tourists lead boomtowns ghost towns millions of dead fish can you imagine the smell of science fiction unbelievable smell gridded streets everyone of them named still waiting for neighborhoods
that never arrived beaches made not of shell or sand but of the pulverized skeletons of uncountable millions of fish houses have tumbled into toxic looking pits it's a park where's the riviera a go there to catch grant look like in one hundred years craig's going dark on us i just read an article about it today they're predicting in the next month here's this galactic drought coming well yeah out that's in california so bad that they're saying that can trigger earthquakes and so yeah how can trigger earthquakes yeah check that out california's drought weren't scary enough it now it may trigger earthquakes scientists believe well the drought is spooky it's been three years last year it once no shit
i don't remember it raining more than once i mean it might have drill a couple of days ago seven el nino coming through this year and now they're saying it's going to be a very light version of it we need it we need a full ellen well we need like a year of right we need like a seattle well that last el nino was like that were you here out here in like net was it ninety eight now i'm sorry no no no it was like ninety seven and it's fucking rain everyday for like four months what scares me is there spots like death valley that's like right there it's on the same state right there what makes death valley death valley i don't understand it i'm not a geo engineer i don't understand the weather patterns hottest place in the world and it's right there why is right there and why are we not worry that right there could be right here but if that shit creeps up north like what keeps it from is the
and i can't understand it is it what it what is it that keeps wanna spots like how 'bout ontario could that be like fucking valley someday what about brea is pretty god damn far from the ocean can that turn into some horrible way sorry about all your gigs exactly brea ontario improv pasadena so far isn't it possible i mean it seems to me you said you see chinatown that would chinatown with mickey roarke now the original one with jack nicholson jack nicholson yeah i mean it's just basically about how that's exactly at la is a desk dust bowl and it's one one river coming down if you cut it off it all goes away remember the movie were watch except for the fact you guys knows cut a member that well it's that it's the movie that most screen writers all the greatest script ever houses in that movie your house is freaking out when i watched it i was in burbank the old burbank burbank was a different man
you ever go to jerrys deli in woodland hills and you see what the valley used to look like back in the day we have all these like one thousand nine hundred and twenty photos and shit big photos of all farm land and ranches farms matches you know there's a real issue he ran in texas texas is really worried about it in texas to it with drought that there there there's been no fucking rain and they don't know what's going to happen if it continues on this path will literally like there are lakes like not lake awesome but lake travis in austin that is half the size it used to be there photos of california links that show like see if you can find that photos california lakes that show how bad the drought is just just google that surprise it's not worse you know we were up in yosemite and we went rafting and it was plenty of fucking water yeah that's a good spot you know if you go to the good spots it would be alright but that's why i'm going to go to canada actually september ninth through 11th at the alberta
like in my dates with the boys at waco alberta edmonton what's the name of the club photos left and right left or right yeah ten or nine to eleven you said the all the water this is only a three years difference if i remember correctly yeah this reactor holley yeah look at each day look like looks like now climactic change is supposed to happen over thousands of years not five i don't know about that i don't know if that's necessarily true there have been some radical climactic changes that have happened throughout history that happened almost instantaneously there's some there was some discovery channel show that was talking about these various land masses of these various contours or we weird things that you could see on the ground and that scientists had pulled it out of my memory but scientists had realized that this whole thing had to have occur
like when the course of a small amount i'm like over a couple of days yeah at these insane geological features had been created whether it's through soil samples and things like soil samples tested the soil the top and the soil at the bottom was all the same age like the carbon dating i think like the uk peninsula in mexico was a giant tsunami that settled on top of the land and slowly just fucking dribble down for thousands of years until what was left is you know this was now very lush and but it was underground for for all in one fucking day went underwater wow that's fucking nuts but that happens we have such a limited amount of time that we are referring to or there were referencing when we're looking at climate change we're only looking at a couple of thirty years and accurate reporting you get past then and it's just hearsay and all those things that are in the past that people point to like the stories of climactic change and cataclysmic
fasters those were all regional events that happened in someplace where someone wrote about mount vesuvius yeah well there's that but there's also like the epic of gilgamesh you want to go way back which is the same essential story in a lot of ways as the noah's ark story where there's some giant god dam flood you know there's some shit happens in your area fucking up a big chunk of rock from space slams into the ocean near your town and everybody dies everybody within a hundred miles is dead and then someone it's about that's the thing about the bike most religions are based on these like the last book of the bible book of revelations was written at the exact same time that mount vesuvius happen dan when they talk about fire and brimstone that's what the guy was fucking looking has he wrote it so we got written in as like this is how the world ends it's nuts so the bible apparently well you know they are all based on it's not how the world ends is how the world ends there to go to hawaii everybody's fine
you know saying it's like everybody reports on how fucked it is where they are but it's supposed because you're not supposed to stay like weed totally married to the idea of one geographic location but if anybody is paying any attention to fuck in history what we know about north america is at ten thousand years ago half of it was under a mile high sheet of ice there was no wiscconsin which constant didn't yes you were to cut through the mile of ice to get to minneapolis i mean you you there's no we couldn't get to it wasn't there so with this idea that that could be a place where got my family farms always been here we've been here since we were kids and we're just not moving climate change be gone and as you talk about like when we were in matic civilization and just move to where the weather was that's what people do yeah i mean that's what people have always done and they did it because we didn't have the we have this ridiculous eagle that we can kind of live in any climate will fix it did you get it i get a conditioning gonna water coming in don't worry i'm not worried about the hot you know like we we have this i
dear that you could be in a totally inhospitable place and he could fix it with technology and were right for the most part but if that tech lg fails i had a guy on yesterday mike baker was a guy from the cia he was ahead of director of operation to the cia now you host a show on the travel channel was talking about how easy it is to break the fucking power grid and that's what people should be about there's not that much power mean is now is mark not another much difficulty shutting down a grid and there's only like a couple of grid control the entire country and if one of those goes down things a long fucking time to come back to happen before you know just in the last couple of years have power grids go down and people are out for days and it could be longer if something bad happens to a power water supply power grid our great is the big one because power good keeps people from being able to live in a place it's hot or cold
once it goes down like then you're off on your own like do you really oh that's what i wanted to bring up there's something i put up josh mcdermitt from the walking dead pulled this up in the tweet it to me and it's on my twitter i retweeted it the craziest fucking story about guy who lived in maine ok and when he was twenty years old he disappeared and he went into live into the woods never spoke a word to anyone never never interacted with people said hi once to a guy that he found jogging that's all or hiking and lived off the land stole from people they called them the hermit of whatever the fuck it was did you find it yet just pull that shit up so just like in a small town in maine he lived in the woods behind it exactly he lived in the woods and stole from people for twenty years twenty plus years it's uh
raising we still just food batteries food clothes everything he had he'd stolen and people from this town he would been a mystery because no one knew if he was real or not glass so he had been a guy like these steal people's candy like that with there was a guy who remember that when he was ten years old someone stole all of his halloween candy and he couldn't believe it and people would think you're crazy steal your propane tanks and he would return currently he would replace them with an empty tank and people would be like what the fuck i had a full pro pain tank he would steal your grill he had like a grill out there and he lived in a tent and he lived in a tent for twenty seven year in maine and those fucking winters he's forty seven years old now he hasn't talked to anybody and this is the only interaction that he's ever had with people he's never been sick a day in his life you think he'll do time oh yeah he'll do talk but it's all misdemeanor charges yeah but it's one thousand of them they gotta prove him all he
all the stuff it's all he has right right i mean he's going to do time yeah it's how much they should give the guy a break he's mentally ill lock him lock him up but you want him out there fucking robbing your house but i love them if it's like bigfoot it's like there's a rumor that there's a guy that lives in the woods i mean how great is that to be a kid in that town what's incredible that it turned out to be real that's all these people thought this for so long and everyone was like now that's nuts i think every town should have one guy who hides and steal shit from you just to keep you honest may so you're locking your gate it yeah but this is ridiculous this guy had tools had break in tools you would get into peoples houses in their alarm would go off and he knew how to get out of there just in time and so when the alarm would go off he would fucking bail i could see that as being not the a story in a feature film but like the b story yeah yeah you like this is the guy that has to come out of his he
to come out of his shell to try to save humanity because you find something that governments do in the woods and no ones believing that guy he's crazy you know we stole my kids halloween candy meanwhile he's out there and he's like i'm telling you through product something really badly haven't talked to people including jamming yeah however i can't never been to a doctor never read the local the kid hits of baseball over the fence and stumbles into him and they strike a relationship that only he understands the man this guy got busted by a game warden there was a game warden who knew he was he was doing this and so they set up this silent alarm the alarm went off and then this game warden showed up with a flashlight in a gun and blind in the flashlight and point the gunman said get on the ground and then they caught him this guy was like for all these you he was a myth i just can't imagine getting through those went unbelievable unbelievable it doesn't get any colder than
it's about wet called yeah it's about miserable as you can get without being in alaska i guess like northern alaska 'cause it's in the ocean it's on the northern atlantic i bet he stole something like maybe a doghouse or he made some kind of no no no he lives in a tent wow you stole the tent but he lived in uh they stole everything you had except his glasses he had the same glasses that he wore in high school it's incredible i mean the guy was like you had a high school yearbook is wearing these glasses and then he's like you know what i don't like people float this he never saw the internet he's never gotten an email is never watched television show he hasn't seen anything and twenty seven years what do you do read birthday guy read books how we stole bucks and random yeah love books like tom clancy books stole peoples books had a stack of books
yeah now he broke his glasses it's hard to steal glasses it would be like that twilight zone episode that's what burgess meredith yeah crazy story though man because you hear about stuff like that and i was like that's bullshit there's no guys live in twenty seven fucking years in the woods in maine yes there was yes there was an we gotta find out why there's a reason why he left in one of the woods mental illness i would imagine you read into the wild yes it's kind of like that there was like a something that drove and it wasn't like event that made that guy he wasn't traumatized you know i think his parents had divorced and he took it hard but basically he just had a spirit that needed to be away from man he couldn't handle man but he didn't like it when he out there that's the thing that they talked about a little in the movie i was like all this beauty doesn't mean anything if there's no one to share it with them that was the quote but what i did like about the movies the movie altered the book in the book
the reality of how the guy died the reality of how he died is he got injured and they starve to death yeah and in the book it was one version of it and then the movie they tried to make it that he ate some poisonous plant that he fucked up and ate the raw lando i remember in the book they did mention that as a possibility they didn't say ultimately that's what it was i think they're pretty sure that you starve to death yeah yeah there's not it's not easy to get food man it's not easy it's the id we have living off the land is ridiculous so i think he had planned on getting out before winter set in and he missed the window and so he got stuck out there well he was only a few miles from oh no shit mean look that area you're in alaska alaska is incredibly remote but i don't believe he was more than like five or ten miles away from civilization i think the poor fucking guy there was people that have some that were right there i wonder if there's a tourist spot where the bus was that he was living in 'cause he like it man or a bus or something like a school bus did he find it out there some
don't move into it or something is broken down bus but that was sad man because look you can do it like survivorman's done it but you gotta be fuck prepared if you if you want to live in the woods by yourself man you better have plenty of food you had better plenty of ammo if you're going to hunt you better say way of stockpiling plants if you're not going to hunt you gotta figure out how you can either got to have a serious understanding of nature you know what stuff you can see what you can't how to build a fire had a you know this and like how to predict the weather to some degree we really hard to do but you should be at least be a to survive like there a bunch of those shows that are about people living in alaska is a bunch of those shows but one of the crazy ones is life below zero and in life zero there's a couple of these guys that have cabins and they live out in all they do all day is go out and get food whether it's fishing
no more hunting they shoot karabo and they hang ominous one guy his name is glenn and he has like this little shack that he's prepared up there in in alaska and he lives in this little shack and it's by a lake and also drill holes in the lake tapos pose water out or makes no any melted down that's the only way he gets no electricity just a fire just a fire and makes all of his fire he doesn't use matches because he feels like you could lose your matches so he has thing like an old school indian thing he bites down on it he holds it in a stick and the stick pass these two ropes like a like a rope rather in a bow like almost like when those things play fiddle with yeah and he goes like this with the bites it down so you hold it in place just because ginger ginger ginger jr now he goes back and forth in the friction creates sparks and then he uses that to start up tender that's the only way makes fire and it's guys out there just
shooting things and eating them but the crazy thing is like he's happy like he enjoys it he is a hermit for like five months out of the year and he does that and then occasionally he has a family apparently divorce from his wife but he has kids so it goes into town and during the winter months yeah he does it through the winter yeah it's crazy i don't know how it is for the show that's a real issue when you watch these got damn show you don't know how much of this there like they said hey would you be willing to live out there through the winter but yeah maybe only does it during the summer normally but it did in the winter on tv but what's weird is like when i we stayed in yosemite we have to put all our food in these bear safes that were like reinforced steel mmhm because any food at all they're gonna come find it but what do you do when you've got an elk hanging outside of your cabinets constant fighting off grizzlies this guy's constantly he shoots grizzlies actually fighting them off they find out about his stash and you know you're still like when you it's an animal is to be very careful approaching it because of a bear gets to the end before he does i
time do you shoot an animal in the animal will run off to die because 'cause they have a long they have their full of their you know their lungs are a will go through one long the animal runs it might take ten and fifteen minutes for to die if you don't hit it perfect yeah so he has to track the animal by the time he gets in the animals down yes to decide if he shoots the i'm like say like if it gets dark at seven and he shoots the animal at six and he's tracking it if goes too far he's gotta go i gotta get home before it gets dark 'cause he doesn't have a flashlight he's not using any of that shit ok i leave this animal there so then he has to go out first light so he goes out in the morning to find the animal and sometimes something's found it already like nocturnal animals so he might get to his carcass of all of his meat this he needs you shot this animal but there's a wolf on it or these bears on it along those lines serious shit that that excitement about being out there like that for this guys like this giant chow arch that's what he loves to do he doesn't want to deal with taxes he doesn't want to deal with job
he doesn't want to deal with bosses he's just got this little shack that he built himself and he can sell skins so like keep getting he can get like trap you can trap animals like links and you know all these different animals sell their skins and make money so that's where he gets his money from then from that money will buy like bullets and guns and things along those lines and everything else is just living off the land so he lives off the land like for months and months at a time without one no contact doesn't speak to another human being for four months he's doing it now because he's talking to cameraman yep easily and producers on shore i mean i'm sure there's people there that are kind of ready weird for him because he clearly he doesn't want to be around people and when you got a camera crew around you around the clock you got no space at all yeah i don't know i mean maybe it's only during the day and then they have specific time so they film like they need to get some night time content or need to get some content of him like they've got a different ones there's a couple of different guys
and one guys he's a hunting guide his name is eric a a hunting guide to teach takes people hunting and then when he's not doing that then he has his own spot but he has a generator and he has a actual electricity and he's he has like he did jobs around in four by fours those little where you know those little things those polaris things that's how in snowmobiles actually snowmobile is really the way does it and that's how he gets around use the snow will be able to travel through the woods and check strap lines stuff so he's like step up from this guy like a little as a generator has power little more technological but you know go all the way back to that guy needs he's only been using matches you know these guys guys they're loving it that's what's crazy is like the challenge in the thrill of life changes 'cause they're tuned in that's what they always talk about like when you're out here it's so exciting because you're tuned into nature you know like he was he
for hunting all these different animals and some of them they're hunting for furs and something which i don't like you know when i when i see people hunting shit for furs i'm always like man that's kind of fucked up but when i watch these guys do it i don't it doesn't bother me it doesn't bother me that they're shooting these animals only for their first because like like this guy doesn't have any other way to get money this is what he's chosen to do and there's a reason why i mean they try to keep the populations of a lot of these animals and check and so they need people like this to do that but it's just such a weird way of life to watch and i always watch go could i do that that's why the shows are so popular is alaska shows are huge and it there keep making a million on but you know i could say on the on the slightest scale of this when i go camping i've feel so good i come back refreshed i feel like i'm connecting with my family like i
never do news no cell phones were talking we're doing projects like lighting a fire cooking some food put in a tense up going for a hike and you think yeah i always bring a book or some games i never get to that your day is full yeah it's it's a relaxing but invigorating way to spend your time it's weird yeah but i think people need trees like being around that stuff like wood walking on dirt and being around trees we don't need it obviously but i think there's a certain energy that you get from that environment that's refreshing it feels good yeah tell me every religion talks about it's all the answers are in you know you read whitman and throw it's all about go to walden pond yes get off the grid and that's the only way you can live in and it's like even if it means take a hike every other day just get out in nature all the answers are there you you ponder the site equals you see a flower dying you think about oh there's some horse that's going it is growing you see a bird feeding something
you just see how life really works on a base level and i think it kind of gets you in sync yeah i think what we're do and by creating cities is awesome man were stockpiling food it makes it easy to get around your car it's it's nice to be able to visit your friends drive across town hey what's up everybody in every let's green light means well red light means stop you know it's all good we got a nice system but i think we're missing out on a lot of shit man we're missing out on a lot of the feeling that you get from just being a person i think that's one of the reasons why we're so detached from are the actions that we're doing as far as like polluting as far as like dumping plastic into the ocean we're so detached from it because in c we're only seeing this human created stuff when you see like a beer can you see a beer can parking lots if you walk into a parking lot cs smash budweiser can doesn't really freak you out but when you see a budweiser can in the woods
it's a real bummer man yeah it's a real bummer you know i've seen people throw cigarettes out like on a parking lot and it's gross but it seems now but i see i saw dude once threw a cigarette out in the woods and i go pick that up man the fuck are you doing we're out here in the woods it's beautiful out here and you just let your cigarette through the ground stepped on it fuck you to the ocean is it's for ever been a dumping ground i mean just i mean you hear about the trash continent that disappeared disappeared disappeared when disappeared so but you just told me yesterday that the thing that's been floating out in the ocean that's the size of australia is no longer there i don't think it's that big it's pretty big i think it's like texas size but it's yeah the pacific garbage patch is with the right 'cause appeared really yeah wow i didn't hear that and you know when you think about like it's just too easy to dump shit into the ninety nine percent missing oh my god
ninety nine percent missing it's reached the food chain oh yeah ocean patches mysteriously disappearing what the fuck there was a guy who had on who's a seastead are he's got this idea of i will run out of time but we were talking about this nineteen year old kid have figured out a way to pull plastic out of the ocean use sort of large machine and he's done a small scale bayscape forwards out of it no we talked about that the last time you were handsome guy down in mexico right now this was a guy i figured out how to clean out the pacific garbage patch and reuse that plastic yeah yeah that's small scale they've they've shown it like what's that called proof of concept on a small scale so it's now it's implementing it on a large scale but if it's all fucking sinking into the ocean that's not good like that gulf oil spell where to go not good he's gone but the reality is that the uh it's so fucking big if you do capital
actually everything will recover it's obviously not good but the reality is oil leak from the ground for the ocean floor also i mean it does it all the time like throughout the california coast you could find natural oil that is leaked out of the bottom of the ocean i like the ocean floor the same way we can go in and get it with a pipe it can actually come through in some spots so the ocean is not worried about that amount of its fucked up and gross and for the people that live in that area disgusting awful evil all the above but the whole ocean you know what the worst was when the when the soviet union went down got all these all these classified documents came out about the nuclear program for like forty years they were taking raw nuclear waste and just dropping in the sea of japan just take it out throw it overboard mother and we're eating sushi well that's how the somali pirates started you know yeah molly pirates before they call themselves somali pirates they call themselves the volunteer
guard of somalia the reason why they started doing this they started going out and capturing european boats that were dumping toxic waste off the coast killing off all there wish i was there to hold them for ransom and then they realize you know we get a lot more than this than we do doing fishing so fuck fishing let's just become kidnappers so they be name kidnappers and started making millions of give a man a fish he'll eat for a day but take a bunch of people hostage that's a fucking months worth of money hey now this podcast is brought to you by a giraffe kings was it so we go with the the the the u r l draftkings dot com no no there's a url like you add something in there code rogan okay is that it i never get these things correct okay dot com enter in the code word rogan for free entry now at draftkings dot com get on that fantasy
football train and make yourself some money i can't believe you could really make money but you can you get your piece of five million dollars during kickoff week at draft kings com use the code word rogan and you can try it for free enter for free give it a shot you fucks and greg fitzsimmons with your website greg dot com fit dog dot com the my new one hour special from comedy central's now on hulu for free on stage check that out and then if you want to in my bullshit live i'll be in edmonton on september align eleven through thirteen and then atlanta october thirteen to fifteen it's got a great website were out of town we love the fuck people see next week big kiss muah
Transcript generated on 2019-10-18.