« The Joe Rogan Experience

#745 - Ari Shaffir

2016-01-11 | 🔗
Ari Shaffir is a stand-up comedian and also hosts the podcasts Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank & Punch Drunk Sports. The 2nd season of his show This Is Not Happening premieres on Comedy Central on February 23, 2016. http://arithegreat.com/
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Oh hello, friends, what's up this episode, the podcast, like many, is brought to you by square space. These ads that I do. I I have. I do a lot of exact. Is this game copy? It's the same company, and so I know tickets monotonous, but every one of these things. The good side is that if I pick an ad, if I accept it, it's a real good product and square space is one of them cuz. If you need to make a website, it's a jag can take pain in the ass If you try to code it yourself, if you try to use a program or if you try to learn html, it's nuts and most people, don't ever do it. So you hire a web. Right, designing company, and hopefully they do a great job with squares ways. You can make your own professional website and it's really easy to do. All you need is basic computer ski. Like can you
drag and drop things? Can you move something into a folder? Can you attach a photograph to an email that kind of shit easy stuff right, but with that kind of easy stuff, you can create an amazing professional website, one that, as its own free online store one that works on every device, one that works on a windows, the phone. If you're one of those fucking weirdos it works on everything works on MAC, it works on pc, Unix, blah, blah blah blah blah, and it's used by millions of people. Some of the most respect brands in the world super easy to use, go there and try it out. You don't even have to enter your credit card in mission to try it because they're very confident in what they have. You can make a fucking dope website yourself, when you decide to sign up, then use the offer code. Joanne you'll get ten percent off your first purchase so that square space, dot com and use the offer code Joe, where uh so brought you by Legalzoom
Legalzoom, ladies and gentlemen, is a super easy way for you to take care of legal shit online. Again, I've done this commercial one hundred fucking times, probably more than one hundred times, but the reason I've done it is 'cause. It really is a good product. This is the product that or the comp arbor used to start on it, the form. The rich, No else you can form an LLC from the comfort of your home with Legalzoom. You can start. Last will a living trust. You can become incorporated. It's you can do crazy shit online that you normally would have to do in a lawyers office you'd have to pay them by the hour. You'd have to park. Take time out of your day. You don't have to do that shit anymore and again they have an a plus from the better Business Bureau. And you can you know we can take care of shit, but you don't even have any clothes on nobody. I can tell you what to do. You have one sock on like a fucking weirdo you can be drunk.
Get your life organized within a state plan. Bundle at Legalzoom today, don't forget to enter the code word Rogan for a discount. How come it doesn't have the usually? As a disclaimer Legalzoom is not a law firm, but they connect you to independent professionals. Usually it has that it doesn't have it But let me just tell you they're, not a law firm, you fucks, don't get crazy, but it's an easier way to deal with shit, so go to Legalzoom, dot com and use the promo code Rogan at checkout. To save yourself, some cheese, Jamie. We're also brought to each and every episode by on it. That's onnit on it is what we like to call A total human, optimization company and if you go to the website, you'll, understand why the website is filled with cool Prada.
But also with cool inspiration and information. One of the most important things about on it is the audit Academy, both the link and the actual on it Academy gym, which is in Austin TX and hopefully, one day, we'll start the rollout and do these all over places the Austin Gym. If we can recreate that somewhere else, you would love it. It's an amazing gym, filled with really cool instructors and state of the art classes and great equipment, and it's just a lot of cool people, working hard together to improve the way your body works and not just the way body works. But the way your mind works. What we're trying to promote and provide in the form inspiration and in the form of supplements, and strength and conditioning equipment in a community we're trying to provide you with all the tools to fuck and optimize, your shit son so go and check it out
cruise the website and again, if you're in Austin TX, the academy is an actual gym. And go there and check that shit out too. There's now tenth planet Jujitsu classes, it's also being held at that gym, so go get your fucking Free, can and check out our last podcast with Aubrey 'cause he's a very interesting cat. Very unusual. Do the Aubrey I don't think I know anybody like him, but he's awesome on it in an I t, use the code, Word Rogan and save ten percent off any and all supplements. My friends, tricking caveman coffee go to Caveman coffee C, o d dot and buy some yourself 'cause? It's wonderful! That's it! My guess today is great Arisha fear he's one of my best friends, is a hilarious, fucking comedian, I've known him forever. I knew him back when he was a door guy at the comedy store and now is ball in all over the world. Kid goes to tile.
And shut. His phone off doesn't give a fuck his wild and hilarious, and his new show the new season of his show on comedy central, which is called. This is not happening starts. The in a February will be tweeting all that shit and get you all. The information do we know when it starts. He said during the show hold on young Jamie is going to pull it up even in the ads young Jamie's on the bar pulling things up. That's how we do. Anyway are is fucking hilarious. If he's coming to your town go to already great common, you can find a schedule to 23rd February 23rd. So if everyone Third, the new SEC Cs begins an. I know: Joey Diaz, some hilarious shit on this
and a bunch of other funny people too, and here's our should fear. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight pick Joe Rogan experience join my day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day, it's always hard to stop a conversation and then restart it in a natural way after smoke pot at one thousand o'clock in the morning. On Monday. It's just one of those things. That's a lot of ifs yeah, it's just too much going on Tempe asked to start and stop a conversation it's pretty smooth. It was just like hey we're, going, ok, go yeah! There's the pop pauses are weird man. I can start the show data. It's really got it whole theme song and then you like in a wait and then like how long just go. That was the wrong way to do it. We made a few mistakes big one was was that me
I haven't done that in a long time. I thought I had this close to swear to God. I come the apple thing when you hit your apple tv presses play on your fucking Itunes on your computer. Does it yeah, although hi, I'm like no stop that one just that one! Oh! No! I didn't know that. Oh no them both. So if you have Apple tv, computer open at the same time, so if you turn on tv and you have a computer or if you have a quicktime file on this desktop starts, plays that wow how annoying blockers for the sensor Sunday morning closes still start it up in my face can phone started making my computer ring the other day, but your computer yeah we were in here in my computer, was ringing. I was like what kind of dog shit up sure that I watching it. I'm sure that I watch again yeah, I'm sure it's totally not air connected. They already at look at everything we do come on. Come on my fucking up. We don't even notice it. I know,
it's true colors are making your computer ring to my phone. My computer ring they're connected in some way. Some new update. Some new update made my fucking my phone made. My computer rang like what what Doing here change your life. We are given into the Borg. Why don't we just admit it yeah? Why don't? We admit it was going to be the first one to get their legs cut off for some new by just fully popular buildings yeah, like he's, probably going to get keep your cock and balls like chopped up for work and have fake legs bro these legs never get tired man. Are you tired, are walking all the time you get your cock and balls, though you keep your cock and balls, but it's important that you want to keep this stupid meet vehicles. Or do you want to get the cyber two thousand cyber two thousand two legged system? It's amazing man, it doesn't.
And feel if you totally feel like your own legs, but they never get tired, dude you weren't? Even you would only need head and cock. You could have replaced everything else. I wonder here's the question If you could live with everything else being fair. Yes, it may be fingertips maybe one hand it looks like that? One yeah and here's the thing if if, if people are smart enough to start manip. Dating bodies like that. Do you think they're going to keep the same shape that we have now so. When I go round like that R2D2 from the new star wars, I don't think that's benefit I was thinking I will try it. Would there be a better design than this by Pidal Hamid form that we use like? Would we get to a point where, like aesthetically like we started changing things on? All you know like have like chainsaw hands, while I was thinking like Minotaur BOT he's right now, like quickly. You know.
Much of you want to be a person how many legs you want. Run, a lot faster on four legs. What, if so, the first guy to have four legs and everybody is like whoa for no reason doesn't make any sense, but girls are, like that's hot, get lucky, that's just something so fucking freak dna thing that pops in a female's head when they see a man with four legs, and they just can't help themselves that all my god I just did this to get faster. But this is nice. Yes, two asses If I got a minute, I would hire all like the viral companies and pr firms that might get it out there, where it's an attractive thing, part of the site, guys that everyone says oh yeah, that's hot more legs is hotter. Higher higher, like Leonardo Dicaprio, to say it? Deck could totally be done. Yeah, you know have you seen some of the crazy things that people are doing with their bodies these days, so we definitely want something different one wheel, one wheel, tude
there's so many like weird body modifications. Today, right, I was jealous when those shoes I'm at the bills came out of the bottom of shoes for kids, that never adult sizes- and I was pissed about that- correspond to make feet with wheels on it. You should start a company adult put the license the product, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, that's a good idea, actually they be, which is why is it no fun to do it as an adult? I understand the problem in the speaker on straight away. You can't fuckin he's not supposed to be enjoying yourself. Are you grown up supposed to have to mature, not specially wheeling around the mall like an asshole. That wheeling thing man, I would love it. If you're going to stay in your back back feet seems like an awkward way to stand, is probably bad for old people. They popinac wise. You are back a lot of strain on that.
She Tyson wiping out on that on that yeah do those things the first, oh my god, I'm one I can do one now, but the first We got on one, it was at the comedy store and this dude who's a comic. What is his name? Jamie know that dudes name, you know I'm talking about right. Sir Ben Kingsley, I don't know, might have been forgot, his name nice guy, He has a white one who's tooling around the parking lot with Tate and I go. How hard is it to do when you go? Try it? I got it. Couldn't imagine doing it. I got on it. I was like there's no way I'll ever get good at. This is fucking insane like what is just two wheels and based on top of essentially it's some form of a gyroscope, and it's like the scooter things that they have the mall. What are those things called again? Segues, segues segway things. Have you ever ridden one of those, no really fun Kevin J had one on the set of that zookeeper moving. He actually had a couple of am and he would sing around
Arckanum do their fun, there really cool but we run out of batteries you go flying really. Is another stopper then lucky brighter? Do the battery just brakes if the batter, runs out of juice. You go down hard son because it's the only reason why it's keeping you up but you're not doing that yourself. Again, it's a gyroscope but gets its. Can more balancing us? Oh really, yeah people a stable or you could definitely fall. You definitely can fall but it's really easy to ride like you, don't I'm saying gyroscope properly? Are you at explaining the physics behind no idea? It's our scope. L renouncing scooters, us a call yeah. Now what would you say that it's run like a gyroscope is out my name I think that's what it used a gyroscope that thing that you get to the air and Space Museum. You pull the string and spins forever thing. That's keeping balanced like house still. Then, as now, I'm right it is important. Can you pull up the definition of gyroscope to so? I don't feel like an idiot.
I just want to know. If that's what it is 'cause I've always been saying that, but I'm now that I'm I'm thinking why I'm saying in my right that that's a gyroscope, I have no idea what a gyroscope whenever it is, whatever this technology they have invented. For said, that thing pull the string and spending forever yeah the orientation of the axis is unaffected by tilting or rotation of the mounting. Ok, so that doesn't make sense. They're also end like drones, to keep him up, are in Celsius, GPS, to help him keep up right too, but would Lord their own, almost flashed that scare yeah we've watched it. What the fuck man you, the guy who died in the segway, a guy died. We want for a one of the guys that own the company at the inventor of it died on segway, going off a cliff when he went to patent that thing my friend works the patent office when he came in, he didn't didn't, submit any Leica blueprints. He just brought one in had every right it first of all. Why is he near cliff? Why is it
your clip, but God was offered segway on the road? Oh, he went off the cliff then off road segway. All the terrible idea, though I have that, No? No, but if they do that's a terrible idea off road segway, because it unless those things are like way improved, I would think that the batteries like if you hit and rocks share giant tires. The idea of like running over a rock and hitting your electrical system may he has someone with zero knowledge of even how electricity works. I'm just sorry, I don't even know what fuck electricity is. I know you can't take a fork in the whole or you die. That's what I know I'm such a fucking idiot people like you could live with you hold on telephone wire, because your feet don't connect like shut up. You don't know any of that. What is this dude? What do you show me tv shredder? It looks like
off road segway. Oh my god, is this real. That looks like it look at where the whole gas mask looks like HALO yeah. This is like a fucking. Oh my god he's running a business soon, this is insane. It's got tires like a tank spires on a segway that is so crazy, but do the suit. Is there a video? You gotta show me a video of those and it goes side saddle like skateboards yeah. I guess right that guy in that position, yeah, that seems weird Australia. That seems like a weird way to step. Maybe it's just that one picture. Look at this like fucking. Why not right? Oh it's going to suck the wall no way I was going to jump.
Thomas fucking thing is just a seesaw so while he's gone, the seesaw wise is where the dumbest tricks. Why uh, so I guess is to show that it can go over obstacles. Well? No way they get? No with us? Oh my god like Hell. Yes, he's actually really bad podcasts over. Let's Ok, have you got off easy dude? This is crazy. What is it called? This is a Dtv shredder, here's the thing: it's it's not even that heavy like when he falls I only see we just fell down, look like he just picks it up and moves it, but it's uh the biggest back on yeah. Look motorcycle! That's why this on not fucking doing a commercial, for this seems like we're doing a commercial for those never even heard of this. Until seconds ago I swear this is bullshit. I see what you're doing dude they're gonna fucking Prada.
Play spider man, tv slash, Joe Rogan right. You get ten percent percent, I'm a new Dtv free shipping. What the is that man? That's a that, is shredder plates. That's like some fourteen year old boy got like ten million. Bucks is journalism, start my own company good, but you have about rappers who had about rappers to get everything in their home yeah yeah yeah, the white version of that there is yeah These are like a white man's yeah atv. If you're, if you're white trash got like really powerful. Atv's like you are run shit. You got a good piece of land, we could just drive through mud fuck, you yeah, let's go to bobbies ride those ATV's mud and that's don't shit, your riding one of those ATV's another, so fun really yeah. So things will there four wheels, but that those?
Motorcycle motorcycle more cycle things fun is yeah. I've been in a bunch of different kind of little buggies to jump myself. Oh? No, no, no, no! Just you driving through the woods in him. There really fun yeah yeah, it's really balancing, but they can get out of anything and then go into the woods and drive over logs with them and shit. We take those things up in Canada and my friends in Canada, the rivets they run. This King camp in Canada, they have an Argo and Argo is like a mini tank. It's the it goes amphibian. It goes through the water. It's crazy things. My friend John Rivet, from up in Canada, so he needs it. He goes moose hunting, so they kill, kill a moose and they have to drag it out of the woods and they have it on this fucking mini tank. Or do you have to see it?
different wheels form like sometimes they have like wheels like giant truck tires, but other times they put tank treads on them and they look. They can go deep into the woods. They just drive through shit well, but you could buy a tank. That sounds fun see, pull up a video of an Argo, so I could show him what he's talking about these dudes, the rivets. They have all sorts of ATV's, but there's our goes. The mother. This is the mother like if you're stuck this amount of I will get you out. It's the mother. It just goes deep into the woods to tank fucking small tickets over everything, everything logs. Look at it. Look at it look at it. This is one of this. Is they have some of the nigerian Army, water, water and there is no see the tank trail. Yeah, sorry, dem versatility, drive through water with these fucking things, wow weather, please dollar, they had some hillbilly shit.
Whoever is making you know, they're, appealing tool to study over a dollar bill back that up backed it up, so you can see that were the one. Has it right? Look at that right there you can see the tank Christmas trees just know. He's good tank tread. There's tank tread on these things. I mean these fucking tank. To tag for the forest. Wow see Kohl's right now would be so angry if there are who cares when you're in the florist don't live in the forest? Ladies, I'm so sorry that we don't see things the same way. This is like for a girl now she's going through creeks and shit would be cool like that would be the female equivalent for something like this. Like awesome, handbags. Girls have awesome shoes, shoes thing right, be a shoes thing, man with money,
older man with money in a heart condition. Oh my god, you have got to see this one look he can barely breathe. How fat is wallet is. Is that terrifying that that some old dudes, like that really are preyed upon like that? nobody protects them now, there's no like guys come on. They can't make their own decisions. Oh, I know it dude, who got taken really older dude, but also you have a girl, now had a younger younger girlfriend that he met on one of those weird dating sites and two years and he's like she was involved in his business. Hundreds of thousands of dollars went missing. It just got this weird state. He had a Jessen jettison the experience amen. It's all dudes gates, let's
old people in general. You know he start getting older. He truly don't want to be alone, and if you really old and you're wealthy- and you just find some girl who seems so nice, but every time she makes your t to start just feeling weird diarrhea and I don't know what's going on- is something wrong with major because the new girl- maybe it's just maybe I just you know I haven't been having sex since my wife- died, eighty five years old now and I can't believe this girl even wants to be with me. I mean it's just what a treasure and what it would a blessing from the Lord but God, every time she makes me dizzy, shit myself. It doesn't want in it. You ok, baby, we're still going to do it. Do you not think I'm hot anymore, baby love you? I just know Eighty five years old one? Second, I just got such ass blood
slowly but surely she's eaten through his insides. I fucking shows like those murder shows without a doubt like no. No, we talk about like different people that it did like like there was one that was a nurse that was purposely poisoning all of the people that she was taken care of today. Why did she miss crazy, she's, crazy, she's? Crazy, too, is purposely poisoning patients to go to work. Now I don't think she was doing it to get out of work. I think she was just killing people and then Just crazy just was a few years back, but the idea that someone would would want to consciously slowly kill someone with a poison. I goof woo. There was just
move on with your life. Bitch yeah leave that poor guy in the bed alone. Oh, she she got off on there, something right. Yeah something she was killing them, while they're in her care. Do you ever think about what it be like to kill somebody? Oh god, it's dark! It's it's where it's amazing, how few people kill people really when you think about a nomad people get at each uh? and a few people actually you're told wow, awesome yeah and that really good for hang in there man. You know, I mean think about how many times I walk around in no fear of any physical violence. Yeah almost never have to be in the total wrong place at the total wrong time or drinking if you're drinking anything another, especially if you're one of those guys, but I just freed the walk around with like plenty of money in my pocket for anyone to just like everyone has a wallet like you, keep your cash cash
how long before, that's not real anymore. How long before paper money just is gone? That's gotta be coming right. I'm ready for the chip now, you're ready to give in to the Barchus chip someone's ready to give him. The Morgan gets more's legs. You ever see those videos of the border for the phone to work. I have to get horse legs chip in that's what they're going to do yeah it eventually. Ok, anyone who doesn't still have the chip in and the horse legs were going to give you free ones. Now, 'cause everyone has to be on. It. Would it anybody the right? It would be like certain things you can get you can get on the internet anymore, though they will deprive you of your services such got a joyetech, Org saying my phone will no longer work overseas, but if you want an overseas phone they think they can get me one. So Larry, if you don't know, ladies and gentlemen, Auriti fear is done. One of the bravest things in any man is ever done. He went from an Iphone to a flip phone. The jankiest little
one thousand nine hundred and seventy nine technology flip phone at the time it was super advanced like but you're sporting in your pocket and one point I'm yeah, absolutely undeniably yeah I did. I did Superman had to find this one. The first was just free like best go, get it over there yeah we started off with a regular woman when you have to do like four presses to get an s. How is it possible that was really really tough on main it so stupid yeah? This double flip is the future man the fucking. Well, you know what the futures were days recognition, oh yeah, full typing thing is so stupid. Let's gone it's on its way out. It's so close. It's so close, there's so good, now, as far as what you showed me was dead on to maintain, I use it for notes all the time. I'll,
say something into notes, and I just it comes out almost perfect, like weird things get spelled wrong. If it's a weird name or something like that, but that's to be expected, it spells it fanatically. Gatari gatari, you know what else did Washington Post that? What I wash it both crossword puzzle, or, I should fear, was God damn answer to a crossword puzzle. Ladies and gentlemen, so say okay haters. My mom and sister sent it to Maine that Solarius that they were getting all sorts of phone calls. No way, that's a chance non comedy, yeah, that's you've, transcended son. So we unquestionably you have now transcended where is mile comedian, should fear bone forty seven across sock, it weird sit your famous John We would expect that you have a comedy central show. You like,
there enough for us someone to get it didn't, don't suck it you're doing the right thing. No, I like, I like the fact I I would never do what you're doing with your phone yeah, but I like what you're doing which are doing is they're. Looking at the data and deciding okay, how much willpower do I have not enough fuck this yeah there you go To put it, I analyze the stats on my life and I was like oh, I can't stop, but you, they're very intelligently, like it's very difficult to do it's very difficult for people to not just look some weird addiction that they might have, but to say Ok, even though there's all is amazing: convenience of being able to buy movie tickets and being able to check websites and answer. Nails on your phones not worth that's a justification. It's not worth it! It's too much! Well! You know when you see someone on tv, smoking cigarettes, you never really smoked, huh! No! I never spoke when you smoke. When you see somebody just triggers
No! I need to smoke two or as soon as you get in your car, so people smoke no matter what or whenever I went to the comedy, store it smoke. You know it's! only when I see people get high, it does the opposite. It makes it Oh my god! Oh my god. Do I sound stupid, but I'm like you know, 'cause. Sometimes you say things when you're high and as you're saying them. You like, like you, listen to her like if you were to go. Oh, my god he's an idiot, but believe me, I'm saying: oh, my god, I'm an idiot is I'm saying I'm thinking, I'm an idiot sometimes like this is somebody should write this down and let the media 'cause it's brilliant. Here, the next day you're like wow, I did a scene on news radio once with Bob Costas Anna who's, a very nice guy, Bob Costas, great he's very, very Intel. Guy two and we have the scene, and I beats me out Pillar custard flip me. He does this like judo, flip and joints. My ass for some strange reason.
But afterwards we were all out talking and while we're talking, I had smoked pot and I was rambling to him. As I was remember, talking to him about Dupont, making the cam Uncle compound for nylon, like look at the same time when they made him be illegal, like some stupid, ass store in the middle of it. I'm like shut whomps, mom words coming out of my mouth, I'm going show brain is telling you can practice on your hemorrhoids. Stop is Did you did you say? Oh I don't know I mean he was a gentleman. You know I'm sure he didn't even call me on it is realized that while I was doing it, then you have to be there. Super nice he's a really really interesting guy, very, very smart. The you know is it certain due to you talk to you. Go okay, perfect and sharp. Yeah is a a few guys like that he's a very sharp guy
now and he's a he's in in that interesting position to as a sports commentator who also gives like really well thought out. Opinions agree with him or disagree with them about gun violence about a lot of other things, but like important, cause Issues yeah Bob Costas. Oh you know I'm talking about replaced. I thought you said Bob Costa, those things which is another person that guy yeah Bob Kostis yeah. You gotta see the diaper guy, the diaper guy who's, the diaper water. Bob Kostis is the guy that, my football right and Marv Albert I've. No idea does that used to do that late night show later with Bob Costas, something like that. It was right there, yeah shotted late night for a little while super fuckin, smart guy man. How dumb is that billboard for the late night show when they put making that daily? Show girl be a girl
Oh, the one we're looking at the other client yeah. Well, you know they're just trying to get your attention like if you don't like it, you're sexist or if you don't watch it you're sexist, even the name of it full front. It's just like come on. Let him let him fucking just be at hosts all of 'em all the minorities. They just keep push to like be in that thing occurs in minority yeah, absolutely girl tv, that's an interesting way. To put it. I've never heard a girl be described as a minority in their fifty two percent yeah the under represented on television What's that I would see a ratio on tv yeah. I have no idea. We see under represented less than half the you know. People on TV are girls, yeah, really I'll just end up with a lot more to do it's really shows more about what you think about movies or tv shows, there's very few words: yeah. It's even have an even number. They have an even number of boys and girls yeah. Maybe it somehow those people aren't hooking up
What do we know is forever. I remember that couple barely and they just fall deeply in love. While they fight off the zombies, get the fuck outta here they never even fight everybody. There was watching him in that one episode. He was just staring at them, fuck. Oh, that's right! The comedian uh Josh Josh Mcdermott Mcdermott Aspect. If there is like Josh, is looking beginning with. Let him look remember how we worked with Josh. Did you do that? Do that game was it Duncan might have in Duncan and me and where is yeah. We were in Arizona, and this was I think this was a ds, no show the oldest said, no show started it, but people don't know the way. The reason I went on the road with Joe Rogan is 'cause. He needed a second person to open forum, because Diaz was at best, seven thousand and thirty to show up. It was more than that. He was more than that. In all fairness, there's only a few instances where it did
workout, but you won't get stuck with nobody so like find a hub to it. Blends in case he showed up will have to no big deal. I'd love Joey and I always felt like. I have an obligation to let Joey B joke what a great lawyer when it's like. Oh you might not show up today I'll just hire more people to do your job, also, so that we don't have this problem. I knew even way back in the day that show he was special special guy. Specially is important for everybody. You know he's like an engine and he's beautiful, please. If you get close to him he's beautiful is the best is the best that guys shines like inside like this. Why? We, love to be around 'em. Becaus because you know, if you're, even if you're busy or something like this will be a 92nd phone call He just was checking phone calls every day. Yeah I mean he's a classic original, but he you know
my problems back then, but you saw something right. I knew it. I just knew it. I just knew it was like this. Guy just needs just needs to be just leave him alone and figure. It out he's closing on my store. Miller, show again some monster going to end this season with him every year he's a monitor. He could do that forever by The way, yes, he never runs out of stories is insane. I've never met anybody who I've known him for what fuck it almost twenty years and he's always had new stories. Yeah and there are people, go this didn't yeah. No, he bring its verification, verification, cock, fucking, tall people. Up put him on speakerphone. Tell him that fucking time, verification, surely Bobble Uno and FUCK in North Bergen has these conversations. People verifications great verification. Simply called you for verification. That's right! I remember what it was. Was the verification come from on stage? He calls you and you at the improv.
It was. It was like this girl said said that we're not friends, and I said that I love you with my phone or something like that. That's exactly verification, that's right. The fact I'm getting on the phone proves that yeah I was a heckler who's being mean to have nobody's better. The hecklers interpolate Tripoli's you've been arrived, franchise he's been in the trenches yeah D, as is yeah trouble, is a comedy store. Do those comedy store guys, especially us from like the 90s there's? No, nobody was there was no cry. Control would get off like there's. No one, How come even got knocked out, remember he got. He got punched in the face by someone's bodyguard Hilton one time tackled with somebody walking we're walking.
In the front row the original room? They walked in between TH, the front row of chairs and the table chairs. You know what this one this, but how bright that way to get the stage and right one like with the tables right now so they're walking, which and then he saw them and just Wendover one of their shoulders and just left his body weight just drop. I just brought him to the ground. They were just going back to see. What might let me ask you this as a responsible person, an adult if you're running that business do fire? What do you do anything contractors, is that how you look at it give me like you, can't that's not so Yelp reviews of comedy some of the greatest thing in the world because they point out stuff that you'll be like they do as a yelp review of a business like only one of the employees said I hope, I die in a fire when I'm going home. It's like imagine if a waiter said that to you right, you know that
oh you're, talking about David Taylor, like you run you out of there and now he's trying to hurt you, so you think about it on the way home. I don't want your business but you're running out of there too. You are probably a dick enough to be like we don't want you back. That's the most important part you can run into dicks man in a lot. It's just people that don't know how to behave like Chapelle was out of the store the other night and some guy kept yelling out of them. The crowd started to yell at the guy to shut the up yeah, that's a both of his. He was just so obnoxious, but she just couldn't believe it was talking to Dave Chapelle in only is drunk and eat you fucked up, and that people around him were responding and it started getting shitty. You know, but the store never had anybody that, like you, can't do that at the improv they will grab you
pull you out of there like they did like was a strong guys are all comedians who are outside fucking smoking, pot drinking and, like we worry about talking to this chick, knows created tension. You have to get door guy yeah, but you know what I would say that it way less necessary today than it's ever been before, but the crowds have been amazing at the store lately they also sort of ok, here's the thing- and this is why canadian crowds are better two 'cause. If you go into it and like your listeners, good with and under any of the other. Here's the editor, what it's like to be in a comedy show right, like I sort of get it already, then there just like a base level, better crowds so you know you supposed to shut up and laugh yeah and that's it. Some people didn't get that message. Going on. No man, that's part of what it is. Some people they'd just don't know that yet wind and weather like what like what is what no one else is doing this yeah. I thank yes, it's hard for some people. They grow up around morons.
If you grow up like exclusively around morons yeah and you've been responding to morons your whole life, then all sudden, you drinking details on stage you can act like a moron. You don't even know why you're doing it like as it's coming out of your do you like, who is this asshole representing the greats? period that is inside and he used to have more problems like right after Chappelle show with uh they would yell at those catchphrases item. He had a real problem once it was at the house of blues, I think, or something not one of those places in go on tour. Yeah number, like you were saying people kept yelling out. You know all the different phrases you know just like what continue with this yeah. What was the big one was that big one I'm Rick James yeah, I'm Rick James. That was when they kept yelling out. He had when he came back from Africa or whatever they had a show at the store, the comedy store and it was mob. But everybody's are Soundgarden, came and Bruce. Willis came yeah, I was mobbed
I mean way, oversold and the fire department showed up and it was like trouble, but they just want to sit on the steps and watch while he was the biggest thing that was then, but there was shrink they told body, say a word you're gone and there was a line out the door people not being able to get in and when Digital was on. I think he had two guys over a magical. It's a black and I forget who and then he went on somebody had a little bit from the front row and they just yanked him right out. Then somebody came right in right. Got a front row see 'cause those tests, yeah man. I think people are learning. I get it if you don't like the person who's stage I've. I've looked outside, looking go and come back in I'll sit and watch the show. And If someone is not doing well. Why was that when you say something, if your waiters being super rude to you or or somebody, a plumber is being an asshole to you, but I came in on you being a dick it out, but not if it's running everyone else experience. You know like a movie go outside and complain. Well, It's just it's not necessary if other people are enjoying it.
Stop there joy, pleasure, yeah, and that happens imagine leaving star wars coming. This is a kids movie. I don't like this is for kids, these kids, who are you voting this for Maine, again. We know that because we're in the business, I think for a lot of people. This is all they don't understand and then there's also people too the la you? Should be able to handle anything they're up their own stink, each people only thing they throw out your it's like one of the ways I have to handle this is to make you leave by an off duty, cop, who's, working the door. There's some weird thing: when people tell you what you're supposed to be able to do as a who made you supposed to be able to handle magic going to a restaurant, throwing a plate under the floor Well, you know you guys deal with spills all the time. Don't you you should be able to handle it. Like so many literally said when the subject of stealing jokes came up. Look. You should be able to write more jokes,
I remember someone saying that, like you should be able to write more jokes, oh fuck! so simple yeah. So what is by that logic? To other things like you have a job over the boss, who's like abuse Well, you should be able to get a better job. It would have been a job. You should get a job boss, rapes, Mashole commentary, birthdays, asshole commentary yes, I like just walk away from those people. You can do it online better. We might try to educate you get outta here. That's so funny man, it's so true, God, right. We should draw beautiful hand away for you told me early on when you started like really like what you would be vicious with with those hecklers. Why don't you feel bad? You were like they've already shown in their assholes, so no no mercy, no reason to show mercy yeah. What they're doing is trying to be mean.
Launch it out, trying to interrupt and a lot of 'em the reason weather doing it is 'cause. They just want attention. You know it's not even what you're saying they just for Whatever reason they won We do an open mic night. They never did it, they got drunk and who they are and they feel like. I'm going to fucking get desires. You here this guy, you can't handle what I'm coming with him over those fault could use. Do you fly around the room with those things did. I did do gay guys at the stand and they were mad at me because, It was one of those things where drunks will miss hear. One word you know, and those like, I don't like that you know. I was saying I don't like people who hate black people and black people now like no shut up is one of those and then is being angry and give me the means. They're. All the time in the stand is so small that you could see everybody it's pretty good, and then I but you guys don't like this. I was I said some like first smile. I got out of you and like well. And I just started calling Mister and mrs poopy pants and belittling them it's just so fun and watch them get
Angry and angry. Are we just talk over people there just angry? Well, what would they do? when I just got so mad at least give me means mean mugs. You've seen that was like. I was gonna. Try to show you how mad I am a. Yeah yeah things like that things like that I had a woman Calgary. She was bitching about eh free by the whole opener should yeah. I was like how you gotta be quiet, and then she did that thing with next joke. I might be that you're out get out, get the fuck out. What is that yeah it'd be above this show I just railed on her for like ten minutes and I had to stop by and by the way crowd. This is not coming out of your time, so the clock stops next joke, oh, my god yeah, it's You want to be here, get the fuck outta here. This is so weird 'cause you can go to the most amazing movie, but if your city, someone is going to yeah yeah that could happen to you. Fucking lived, who saw that coming Stallone.
He found a way to get that that rock pick into the side of the mountain, just as he's hanging off of it likely pulls himself up, be quiet, grabs a log drags himself over the top of the club hope you're running this. That could happen right. Do. I have this guy in Scott Lynn. Threaten to sue me. Oh that's, wonderful, yeah, because I told him, If it was, she was ugly. Did you hear what happened in Canada without with MIKE Ward? Do you know the guys getting sued tribunal yeah? I like him a lot great, which he talked about the one with the guy. I'm cursed out the lesbians and said uh, of anti gay things to them no column, dykes, something along those lines and there was like nasty exchange. And the the woman sued an apparently I believe one
and I don't know like Pacific mental damage is I think she sued for like Jamie see if you could pull that up. I don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what the charges were, but it was everybody was. Whoa like and she one yeah I think she's going to award like ten thousand dollars or something with It becomes a thing where it's like you have to have. Make a point of release for coming to comedy, clubs were just saying: you're going to kill the art form as Jamie pulls up I can't take any sort of risk. I don't want to misquote anything so make sure I say this incorrectly, but it was. Story I don't know I'll, tell you what happened. Management was to MIKE Ward. Oh yeah which Canadian Comic, and so he was doing. There was a kid who was like make a wish kid. Whatever another like he's going out- and it was a big like on Tv- is like a cold campaign, but this kid and then MIKE had a bit about the ten years later, the kids still alive and he's like I was, money back. You know
Turnock was like fucking twenty three, now, oh, no and so fucking and the kids said he got made fun of because of it got. It wasn't cool like well. Sorry man, you were like a celebrity and I'm going to make fun of that stuff. He got taken to a tribunal is going right now to a french canadian tribunal. Oh no, oh my god. What are they suing him for? What are they charging him with or what are they doing hang up before I don't know these are charges, but it's either eighty grand or more there soon for but the problem is that just makes anything off limits sure it makes any sort of subject when you have no idea? Well, here's the thing: how do you attach a monetary number to that slurs full force coming to pay fifteen thousand wiles more than I thought, tirade of ugly words against lesbian patron after appeal falls flat, so no appeal
peel fell flat and when they appeal yeah, I think he'll of Human Rights Tribunal. That's what MIKE is being brought up into a human rights tribunal. What is going on in Canada, what the fuck you do: lasting physical and psychological effects. What's the physical effects we'll see, I would say: here's one thing: if this woman came to a show? Okay, let's, let's be honest about this an and You start the registry way to say the worst case inside I'm on her side, if she's sitting there with her girlfriend- and she didn't do anything just saying a bunch of lesbian shit to her and being mean to her and just be assholes better. You know guys have done that. We are no comics that we've all seen bad comics. Do things that or take attempts. You know try to be funny and it's just offensive yeah. If you paid money to see something like that, no matter what it is, whether it's a black joke, whether it's
you know a joke about asian people and you're, getting if you feel like abused, especially joke about their height- where is the line after that in way of thinking really a matter of like what is being said. It's not like just a blank subject right. We can't say what, if it's a joke about, being black 'cause, it could be a joke. You really is the problem. You can't really make it up to anyone right. It's gotta be like you're allowed to say everything you're going to. Let us everything: how do you do a monetary number? That's weird! Well, I mean How do you make it would be like these? Are my doctors bills, my cycle psychologist bills? This is how much work I've missed. You could do it that way, I think in this case in grant, is not a huge amount of it's a lot, but it's not like those Mcdonald's settlements. Right, you know, for comic, though, whose yeah yeah yeah yeah work, and it's a great gig here possum sure is legal fees right yeah, but what going to get out. Is it did the girl heckle first yeah, see that's what I don't know see if she did then fuck her
thank you yeah. You probably shouldn't say mean about her I've seen but or is about a guy a comic going off on somebody's who, in the court of public opinion like they get a bit serrated because they went off too hard on somebody and then people about the show we like none of this lady was heckling. Everyone in the show, let's see what it says here in May, I have two thousand and seven. I don't need to rename and a girlfriend were at a club and Van over of Restaurant Vancouver restaurant with a largely gay clientele when an open mic night hosted by Mister Earl kicked off. The two women decided stay according to the latest findings of the human rights you know during the show MRS Purdy's girlfriend had Miss Purdy's girlfriend had nearly pecked her on the cheek way. Mister Earl told the crowd don't mind that inconsiderate dyke table over there. You know lesbians are always ruin it. For everybody, stop right! There stop right. There go back up. Let me read that seen that before yeah, all I did was this one.
I mean fully making out and then just dropping everyone. Why also, we say don't know, find that inconsiderate. Yeah ruining it for everyone, I would imagine, there's probably some chatter yeah, probably that he went off too hard, but we've all seen that when they don't want to admit that they did that yeah exactly it's always that it's always like. I didn't do anything all I do is move my chair and it's like. Why would anyone throw you out when you're a customer for doing nothing that was just laughing shut up? There's a lot of different kinds of lesbians, there's like educated lesbians, that are into the art right and then there's like the bull dyke e lesbians that are like thicker? big around right and then there's the lipstick
as we don't know what we did, then they all booed him. This line prompted boost in his party's table and then that escalated, the string of slurs and it's like all right. You don't like it you're, seeing an artist get the fuck out yeah. I don't like this so leave. Then it's ok. You can just leave it's hard to be watching money back, fine, get your money back or was it this where they just too really pretty interesting women, and one of them did is her friend on the cheek lightly in the comic was eating Dick on stage and he but blaming these guys perspective he's eating dick onstage ever seen that happen before absolutely so. Here's an example that we should be fair here right. So let's say it was that way. So in that scenario they should get their money back and leave you still. Can stop a guy of an artist from fucking trying something right, so if the line is unless you cross it, and then you pull it back a little bit, so you don't let a guy even try to get to the line, then you're hurting art in general? This is what he said: that's really rude,
you're, not even lesbians. No guy will fuck you. That's why you with each other how rude I'm still on a dude side? Here I don't I'm sorry, I see myself saying that my darkest moments for sure depends really. We don't know we see like here's another problem, that's a problem with cream. That stuff was like. Oh yeah, I get it. I get the point of like I just want to hurt. You know right and that's not he's trying to do here's. The thing looking at it on print here like this, it's so much different, so much different, looking at it on print so much different were missing. This is like. First of all, we don't know if that's exactly what he say is this: taking from a recording, or is this from people's memory like how Exactly do we know exactly what he said. Where does he says he's the one that discrimination but really discriminations? If they would let the men, because there were less warning young Jamie, this is in the court case. They used witness. Testimony from John
patrons that. Were there see you can't do that 'cause, I don't remember guys joke. Sometimes I'm a fucking person's soccer media day. I doubt they remember exactly what he said, especially if they're hammered come on everyone is booing him. He was an asshole, it's like he just going down here's the thing. It is an open, my car. If comics are bad, they will eventually stop it stop. It will get better or they'll get better, but if you're heckling he's not going to you just fucking you not supposed to do that and when you do that you open the door to chaos. Also, I've had stuff where it's like. I'm going to take it out, one road and then I'll I'll. Take you a clear in the end. Don't worry if you just be quiet and listen the whole time, you'll see where I'm going with this and you'll be fine. But if you put me in the middle it's going to. It seemed really bad right. I said exactly so exactly if you interrupted you just going to look bad, It's a long. Second make someone pay money off of doing their art badly exactly
and I might be saying it was bad. He might have fucking gotten other people laughing at him. Yeah. I don't know what happened. I don't so it's so hard, but I think the monetary ass effect of it, a monetary judgment, come on fifteen thousand dollars like what really happened there. So you can define what really happened. Yeah. It sounds so crazy that they just come up with a number, Eighteen thousand pay the money give money to people you have to give money to pay chicken leave they get mad at you. Yeah. Can you say shit to people on the street? Can you like call someone a dick on the street music thing get sued for that? What is it about like a like gay slurs? Is that what it was? What it was that it was a gay thing, 'cause like what, if he just concentrate on other ass, x, over yeah executive privilege, that was like you can't get a better girlfriend, because you're too empty inside, like really went to her in a different way than nothing to it. Yeah people wouldn't be as met. That's kind of bullshit
Not about the hurting about the Howie's hurting yeah he's hurting her by saying that he can't she can't get men to fucker. That's why she's a lesbian she's, not even real lesbian, is trying to hurt her there 'cause it's it's like why you listen for this can say it's funny thing to say: that's what comic would say that we have to try yeah, yeah he's trying to survive dissertation on being rights, he's also add living and again we're not taking this guy side 'cause. We don't know what happened. I don't know I mean who knows he might have been a dick and then is it up to the rest of the audience to decide how sick is she was or is it just like? No, I felt hurt, so I get the money. It's just like it's an art form you can't stop, anyone from doing or saying anything that a lot of work stage here. This is like well, it's part of the art is growing stages, spell smoked four cigarettes, the other night in twenty minutes set and once I saw might have another one. I was like the right amount is hilarious. What does it say here?
in addition to Mister Earls fifteen thousand dollars penalty. The restaurant was also ordered to pay seven thousand dollars, since he was had a bar tab who is illegally an employee, oh my god, so because the comedian had a small bar tab to host the event. The comedian was legally an employee. Oh man, that's sad girls, lower walking on the tribunal process, yeah, it's a tribunal. What is this right? So they have nordic they've, gods, Greek and, and Thor comes down slams the hammer at the end of the decision, so stupid, look on Miss Party hit so that missed the guy the comedian. The host of the show was trying to say that the lady played a vital and highly dramatic role and utterly disrupting a performance by unpaid volunteers. Comedy clubs like no other place, is the quintessential element that distinguish with them from vapid, mainstream media is the fearless pursuit of free speech we have.
Yeah listen to this, though to it played vital in highly dramatic role in utterly disrupting a performance by unpaid volunteers. Over my This is my fungo on you guys are for that sentence when he finished that sentence and hit that period. The judge should have said this over here when you, when I get outta here, this is over. Oh, she was messy, because uh. Well, I just I'm on his side, just by the way spells things spells things out like his the sense of projecting the judges words. The comic was not giving a comedy performance when he launched into his tirade of ugly or directly miss party. You can see that there were jokes there yeah, that's not true, because that was funny but even if he doesn't random, it's like, if you can see any you get an expert say: oh yeah, here's where he was trying to get a joke. Here's where you trying to left well, let's scroll back up to the thing that he said to her, because it's fucking clearly a joke and if it's the way,
games for the water and by the way this is people really go down. Go down! That's right! There, it's really cold water, throwing she threw water at him twice instead of typing, wait a minute wait a minute. She threw water at him. Oh well, that's just silly mind crazy really like what do we do when we kind of wasn't enough, we barely hitting each other going to slap going to have a slap fest, two glasses of water through two glasses of water, any broker sunglasses into, and then he broke up Jesus Christ. What do they do on their chin? smackin trees! I could see that somebody threw a glass of water and then through another one, and it was a girl, so I couldn't hit her I'd be like well, you can't just fucking. I could see my just so I could see that fuck if I would or not as Mister Earl told it. However, not even lesbians know, God will fuck you. That's why you with each other. That's the joke, yeah, what clearly joke, but listen to his his point of view, though he says the couple was passed
Only kissing in the front and repeatedly interrupting this set with obscenities? Well, Mister Earl tried to shut up the table with the quip you're, not even lesbians. No guy will fuck you. That's why you with each other. Does kissing off the ugly escalation. That's happened. A billion times that you've seen people are being way too loud and disruptive, and they don't believe they are. They have no idea well, it's people were talking about, but So this tribunal said okay, if that happens, and you're too harsh you're going to pay money that you can afford. What's an open, paying mic inground. Canada has legislated politeness, that's how serious they take their politeness up. There rate laws, or you have to be polite, well in this situation, clubs are going to start recording filming sets ceiling where they're going to be this so Underwood, head, then that takes away the sort of stand up, comedy is counterculture.
It is this because, like hey, nobody's, recording this, this is all just existing right now, the basement of some hole. I agree, and I think that's if you ignore that respect of it and you take away that hold on right. I think I agree with you. I think it's a beautiful aspect of it, but this poor fucking guy I mean if this is the landscape- are gonna have to operating in he's the owner of the God. Damn club is getting fucked over by and in my car good, so he has no incentive. Now this isn't just a dvi yeah right now I would have you got any club. Why would any place have an open MIKE at their place? Open MIKE nights are filled with crazy people end and will become great media. Yes, but the ratios very high to crazy, but even though we're going to become great or terrible when they at the open mic yes and they can make terrible decisions, yeah fucking right and they might be, today, twenty years later, your all time favorite comedian, but right now there honking their way through everything, it's spilling their drink and looking ugly just nobody does
right in the beginning, it's an ad lib thing and when your ad living like that, like where there's people in the audience that are disrupting the show, if it's true from his perspective, what he's saying well there interrupting with his job and his job is to going to be funny. So now, you've engaged in some sort of a verbal warfare with the comedian who has a microphone can pay for that because they couldn't see the comedy well, the fact that she threw drinks at home- that's just sort of void out the whole thing like and I guess what you're saying well she's already so disruptive that that was she had to. I don't know man, I don't like talking but these things, if I wasn't there 'cause, you know we'll see how this how this could play out exactly like a show you been, you could be out. You could be on that side of that. So he's one hundred percent. So now, right now, what you're saying is: hey open, mic places? Don't don't start? That's the worst part about it. It's going to discourage the clubs from taking a chance put on these amateurs who they don't know these blah you open mic night folks,
we just put in perspective. We had a guy who dropped an n bomb, maybe seventy five times at this place on sunset at this recovery place a recovery plan. With the recovery place, it was just wear, a people hung out and he did like a set yeah, yeah yeah, it was an open, mic night, open mic and it was so uncomfortable, but then whatever he felt it too but I won't do that again or you will very well whatever cut it down about ten in words or that's point is trying to shock everyone. Yeah, that's fine. We did it. We just maybe don't know how goofy sounds. Some people don't know goofy they sound yeah. You gotta get a response from p like if you're around and it's hard, if you're, going to shock what, if that's, what you're going for it is to offend that's what you're looking for the emotion, you're trying to get out of an audience, and it's like
we're going to legislate, say that's not when you can get out of the heart of what. If it's like, you think that that's going to be funny, but it's not yeah, I can just suck it. It just is not working well, you saw get this kind of like DS. Angry is one of the funniest things ever when his fucking face gets red and he starts getting mad. You start screaming about when he was a kid bottled water. You have to drink puddle water red in the face like that real anger, it's hilarious, 'cause he's got jokes and real anger, but when you manufactured anger you trying to be edging fig grants you can see through to me. That's offensive. It's offense, if you're, not in the moment for sure like when Joe is talking about bottle. He's in the moment it's it's it's you we've evolved sort of figured this out in our own way, but when you
stage and you're locked in the audience, is laughing hard. Everything is going great It feels like some kind of a mass hypnosis in a way because low yeah you conducting like pointed them at all- laugh yeah! Well, that, but it's also like I feel like when I watch over in the audience that, like what I watched, Burr the other at the at the or the main room and then Chappelle the other day in the OA I'd loved it? I loved it as an audience member and I was thinking like when they were doing their jokes and I'm laughing I'm like going along with their thought process and I'm as it's happening to me. I'm recognized this thing that it's somehow or another thinking for you like they're thinking for and you just on a ride with their their things, the other comic onstage. So when someone has some fake rant-
and you like- oh stop like if someone came over your house and went the problem with the government. Is programs on tv are programming you that call them programs. You know this guy was your house would be like we would shut the fuck up come on man. Diaz is in your house, and he starts talking about some shit you just you have a free show. You have like a show with DS. We have shows with him whenever we hang out like he, form at the restaurant he performed in the right over his fun he's always on he's alive. You know yeah, I just don't, should be up to anyone decide with that line as of right or nailed it or didn't nail it yeah. You, which timeline is different in your line. The two soon kind of thing like there's, somebody heard Jeff Ross to a joke about something it was South Carolina, but it was like a year later, but I remember people trying to do jokes right then, and people like no and so then Jeff did
it hit and still gotta know like a year later. You like, but it's like. Oh what I want as an audience. Member is the day of yeah so, we just we like different things. I like spicier foods, so it's fine. My favorite example of I was saying something isn't funny. That was fucking. Hilarious was Artie Lange already laying got in trouble for that twitter stuff 'cause. He said he goes, he goes. I was having sex with this really I'm paraphrasing I was having so it is really hot black girl, and I was on top of her and she goes. I can't breathe and I'm like, let's not make this political. That's uh, bring politics in the bedroom with something politics in the bedroom. People got up and screamed at him, apparently at the at the seller in New York, and they stormed out here- and this is like the guy attempted suicide too, by the way right or it wasn't like a year before that It wasn't like a long time, no maybe two years, but not a lot two years right, so he's just get,
but it was damn hard at that. I I can brief time exactly you never gardner, we'll talk about that. It's like you see me. I felt I mean this is the only great way you would look at it and say you can't make jokes about. That is if you feel like it's somehow racist, because if it was any other any other reason like you could totally make a joke about yeah like you're, not even listening to it right, you're just going. I think this is wrong. I'm going to interrupt and yell. If you listen to what he's saying in the joke like come on like every like interrupting fuckin, it's not to Joe Jonathan Swift essay, because you like wait? Are you saying we should kill kids you're saying we should get a just ever she ate shows us exact. Let's get this guy the fuck off, but the joke is I'm not saying it's not make Bing fun of the guy who died in the cops killing him. The joke is making fun of we're talking about it, yeah! That's it! It's just the joke. Is him
the hot black girl. I need smothering because he's fat she says, can't breathe the I mean, that's a fucking, great joke. It's uh great joke and it's not mean here's. The joke to protests are affecting my life Last week I was having sex with a black girls. Yelled out, I can't breathe. I want to heat, so he put it on twitter right at the end of twenty fourteen. So at the height of right right right. Well, this was the highlight of the punch line. I think the black lives matter thing is never been bigger, say unto you say at the heart of I think it's bigger now than ever before. That was a that. No, I don't think so at all. I don't think so. I think it's kind of it itself a little people going well like all this address with a vehicle hops. Well the end, this all so one of the guys who work form was white really that they kind of prove this guy was white, who won the guys in black labs matter. It was white, guys apparently he's a white guy. Ok.
Julie what the do. I know what I mean, I don't know, but the point is like that. One was particularly egregious that incident with that Eric Gardner Guy. I got disgusted by the yeah. It was terrible because he did all it was, was cigarettes, a guy was selling loose cigarettes, he didn't do anything and that there are is with that. Is that comes from its creates its it comes from a place of back. I had who sell loose cigarettes to make a living. That's not like he ain't robbing people he's selling loose cigarettes for a fucking dollar apiece like the people who can't afford it like that's, not a guy who's, wants to to dream of that as a job and a career yeah. So it's like all right there, poor people and you're saying we have regulation The government's gotta get paid so some guys able to push you around and then like but it's like. Why is he fucking Bing that violent? You know? That's all we gotta beat it cops, are not supposed to be revenue. Collectors yeah, there's not that stupid stupid for the cop to be put in that
mission where you making them arrest people 'cause. You have a quota like we have to figure out a way with these people. Don't don't get paid that way like the idea that you have to, have a certain amount of crime every day. In order to keep your position yeah, proving there's a cop, that's insane, but what about a perfect were what we employ a lot of great cops. They become member of the community respected member 'cause, you don't even fucking crime, so the cop doesn't be a problem anymore. It's not like the old west. Look at his approach to anything here, 'cause the sheriff's going to copy. You should look cops? It would be ideal like in a perfect world. All the people that were police officers would be the coolest people the world. They just wanted everything to be cool everything, to stay calm and in the best case scenario. You live in a world where, like we were talking about how little violence there is measures, I got way better. Imaginative, like the douche bag factor, got reduced dramatically.
What, for whatever way in whatever way. Imagine imagine how wonderful it would be. The world would be perfect. We would never now this fear that people constantly have getting their home looking into getting their ass, kicked or get in a fight or getting this we're getting that all of it could go away, but you can't just fuck inch good guy for cigarettes. You can't do that. You just can't do it either with a slam people's faces in the that meant that restaurants like like what is it because it's written down somewhere? What is this? Some some one decided there's a the swath of land and you gotta mark across it. Some we'll sneak over. They don't have good paper works. I don't get a good education or you know what honestly this guy's life was like yeah exactly. I don't know if he was an immigrant, I'm making up an immigrant story, but there's so many p to do so. Many different things in this world because they're trying to get by and the idea that someone would tackle you and choke you just because you're selling loose cigarettes like for add worse at
equitable offense. How about, if he selling stolen cigarettes that he broke into a building yeah. That's one thing with this guy I told I told that whatever the head cop, there was like no more chuckles and so we did it anyway, and then you had a plot, but so you have to choke a guy like that and their defense. But here's the thing. Couldn't you, you certainly do if it's a fight it in a fight exactly in that in, if he's defending himself The only time you would have to use a choke hold against a person is that that in the summer, right right, so okay, let me because it just drag it. They told them to stop using chokeholds and use it anyway. Now if you want to take that guy in the yeah, but he said the head cop is like guys know more of these right before this exactly use anyway. So if I went and choke somebody and he died- and I could say well, he just had asthma. What trouble would I be in big time, man, water, Mansoul, sure yet
could use the excuse so hands of pens on what evidence the guy could be like in this situation. Thanks? Okay, let's look at the situation because in this situation that I was horribly passive, he didn't do anything wrong. It was ugly. It was ugly the way they grabbed him. It was a good way, but I'm what I'm thing is like. If you want to control a guy who's that big once once it's a physical altercation, don't wait until he starts punching your biting you before you choke and choke him. Quick, it's just what you do yeah and I don't I'm not condoning it in any way- shape or form, I think, is a terrible, terrible miscarriage of of like what's ethically right, which ethically might write is not that the the people with guns that are employed by this eight come after you and drag you to the ground because not getting their tax money from you. This is all this Lou cigarette thing. It would at the store, or did the exact same thing with what you're saying you you did a ha. You would have to have a reason to do it. I mean you would have to look that was ordered on occasion. I was him out there like that same reason: the complex, hey! I don't want you here. I sell cigarettes in here and I got
I'm just trying to do and then, as he's ran up behind them, choked them and then he has as made him die. It depends on how it escalates you know. If you just attacked him, I would say: yeah man, you just assaulted him for no reason like what the what if what if he told you to off and then try to sucker punch you in you at a dock under its punch. He didn't do this, though exactly so then it would be a different story. So in this situation I mean this wasn't like the store owner didn't do shit. They called the cops and cops, but it was about a fight 'cause that guy had he had been a fight before that's why the cops showed up. So, they showed up all gear dunce yeah. They showed up geared up because there was an incident, and I think this guy might have even called it in the guy, They wound up, killing no yeah. I don't know exactly what happened, but this dude just happened to be there when it went out. I might be wrong about him calling it in but He was just there, and so they they had come looking for this fight, the fight was, and then they started going after this result of this cop which have
I don't know man, I don't want to single the cop out. I don't want to mention his name. Did you get offers in trouble? I'm sure he was there's a cop right. I was just looking right now, two days ago, accomplish charged in this incident in the Eric Garner. It's a woman. So it's not the one that put him in a chokehold. I mean we could sergeant. So she might be. One of the ones in charge of the people did it. So I'm looking right now that that's what happens when you're a leader right, that's again like the club in the open mic are magic for a sergeant and you're. A rookie out there choke some guy to death and you get in trouble when you get kicked off the force. You lose your cushy job, she's charged right now, with failure to supervise an internal, down they got, it would fail you to supervise how the fuck is. She supposed supervise like these guys, choking the down the street. Who would it would she supposed to do take the losses on it, but is your forearm under his chin? Yes or no stop. Let me check your technique. What is she supposed to New York? They wanna do this and there was,
Cops America, look passing by this cops talking to each other. One was going. That's not a choke. Fucking chose not to choke but you have got in a hold on his neck. Let me put you in it: no thanks I'll choke the shit, someone in anybody's house in us on Chuck. Let me hold you know like that, will qualify, you have to be able to say what a joke as me, yeah I've got a couple things. Would you, if you can? give me a call. Is an expert but said it on Twitter. I said as a martial arts expert, I even That is a fictional, martial arts, expert, yeah I'll. Tell you very clearly: that's a joke. I will choke the life out of you with that. My hold your you. If I have your head in between my arms. Forget me: okay, hello, Eddie, Brock! Listen to me! If Eddie Bravo has your neck and it's trapped between his arms going to sleep. It's going to sleep, that's a choke If he's got your neck like they had Eric Gardner you going to sleep, if Jake Sheila's come on man,
Guy has his finger tucked under his wrist the hand in the back just got a shitty choke. It don't have the proper technique for sure you hold. This he's he's. Definitely underneath the guys Chin though, but this is just a freeze that might have been like a brief millisecond of struggle. You know where he was pushing down with his left arm and up with his right 'cause. If you look at his right arm in this position, that right arm is just an Underhook that put any pressure on his neck. The only thing is push. Pressure on the neck is the left arm under the chin, but there is definitely some space. There's def some space, video 'cause, it's not under his chin. You see. His chin is like look at make it bigger real, quick make it bigger. But this is just one picture if you see where his chin is that the back of this happened go into your twitter, how dare you bigger- and it went to that, but I saw an image where they were on the ground. Oh really, yeah. I saw a different image there. It is-
see. That's a chuck, though, for sure that such always got under the neck. That's a fucking one hundred percent choke. I choke you to death with one arm like that. If you let me, if you let me, go, and you can like that, like this guys letting him he's but he's not resisting is being what I mean he's letting him he's in a position where you can't do anything about. I should say: like, even if you study, if it and I fault- let's say nothing. You know he's not you see, he's not defending it. Yeah so he's not defending it. It's a hundred percent of the guys might the left guy he's in a side, choke position, so he's sing down with his left. Shoulder as well is pulling up with his left left hand as he puts his left hand on his on the the guy. Gardner Shoulder, he uses that as leverage like guys to Luke Rockhold tapped out Michael Bisping, with one arm guillotine Ok from the mount position. That's a powerful move me.
This is not exactly this move here, but it's very similar in regards to how much pressure you can put down with your shoulder and how much you can pull up with your arm. That's a fucking choke I'll choke the shit out of you with that. So when he gets Marcello, Garcia about Jacques Array. Shaka rake. It's a whole. You like that yeah! That's a fucking choke you going to go to sleep and he's awesome best show in the world. Ok, don't get me wrong. It's not like the perfect choke. The perfect choke is like a Marcelo, Garcia, Rear, naked choke, where the technique is just so laser sharp laser sound on that lasers might not even be sharp. I could star wars in on sharp. Do we really need to watch this guy die? They're fucking with him will tell you that what so anything
Is I I didn't sell anything he didn't even have loose cigarettes on him when they arrested him. Did you know that didn't happen? Who basically a highway from why? Every time you see Fort Lee somebody up for breaking up a fight so yeah he broke up a fight. I did not sell nothing because every time I see you when I wrestling you are stop. You know what the world needs is a mediator. Stop let's press a button on our app of life and uh. We have a life mediator, show up who is like a really cool. Do like the rock, like, I feel like you're. The rock could have kept that guy alive there in between the boys, boys boys, relax here. Let's talk this through
figure out. Some, let's be rational. Man will regret it in the morning. It'll have like some motivational shit. Maybe take him to the gym everyday. Doesn't squad steers had a guy Brea's show. I think we all did, I think, was Brea where the guy was getting kicked out and they were like he wouldn't leave, so they will call the cops and ears like you. Gotta get outta here, they're going to arrest. You just leave. Oh yeah, that video made a video of remember. No, I don't really yeah. There was a video of it is they're going to rape. You, your small they're, going to rape. You in prison just go. You don't get rid of prison, you have to go. I pretty sure red band got a video of it really yeah. I think he got a video of it and then maybe a video of the guy getting arrested later. Oh yeah, he wouldn't go He was settled in yeah, never know man, oh god, damage in for your life is good. Life is, but I need a tank either little one. Everything myself are
language. What do you talk about? He talked about. He told two stories, so one is going on Just once again today talked about when he's on mad tv doing a bunch of blow while they were, street parking Instagram. This is the only life where you could talk about things like that and just casually, and it seems funny yeah, whereas if uh he was an insurance salesman and it was into the people that is, oh yeah that counts down talk about your cocaine by the way new episodes February 23rd on comedy central season. Two is due, so you calling it do season this season dose it should say that your life, but I like what you doing overall I like what you and with your life, I like how you go on these nutty trips. You just take a month and just go somewhere. He went to Thailand for awhile, like you doing what, if, like you talk to your average stoner,
yeah who is broke, store and it's just barely getting by man found fucking money known. I do dude, I wouldn't be. Worry about shit man. I just fucking leave my phone behind. I go to Thailand for a month. I don't give a fuck until my agents suck my dick I'll, be back in thirty days until then deal we have meetings, but we have fuck you I'm going to Thailand just bring your laptop fuck you so just decided you just decided. I had to go to Atlanta first issue, someone there right Tyler, so I mailed my phone back to my home yeah. And then gone the plane yeah. I don't want that. That's how you do it yeah! It was so much fun now you're doing it exam! The right way find some shit new country me, some crazy noodles, yeah experience weirdness they sell so much Viag are on the streets of Bangkok. Thank God. It is everywhere they just look at your other by Ghagra by Ghagra in english football. This is like Vi Aggre, it's such clearly a knock off is it I don't know I was going to try it 'cause they weren't dis,
kinda. Like a dollar a pill there was like they were like half as much as they would have cost in like a store here, and that was offensive to you. Look I'm actually like excuse me where third world countries don't deserve my money. There are children working right now and it's three hundred am and that's guys, six and he's trying to sell me shit. So I think the places should reflect that yeah. You don't need a lot of money to get by in Thailand right. Oh no, once you're there you're good, and it's doing every police brief. Thailand live dangerous, China Super safe child. You can get, you can get fucked with a little bit, but it's relatively safe but like any worse than here really no need to worry about a little bit as cops more, oh, really and yeah. They probably know moitie fuck you up, maybe but yeah. I walked around the streets and shit. Even the small places in the big places yeah, I don't really feel any danger. Did you go to moitie fights or the type
boxing, fights yeah ram around here anywhere right. They just play this fucking flu thing the whole time. It's annoying sound any how to dance of their own like sensei? They have to do the special dance of their own dojo worlds. Call I think it's called the white crew. I think that's how they, how they spell it, who had some wrong yeah, it's pretty dope this is they have okay, it's please walk down this like explain what that is, what the whole the whole that's 'cause. People are like what the fuck are they talking about. They have to do this, introduce each person and then as the both in there. I think they do it together. Maybe one time I'm not really sure they just do this act out down. That's where they just sort of like Kilkenny, up yeah and then do like fake clinch yeah they throw like chicken stuff, but just by themselves, not anybody and they do that. While they go all the way down to like one need, one here which way apple watch these guys at the same time, these are the hardcore
so they're doing a lot more. These matches, you see, see this guys wraps on their hand. Yeah, I'm gonna fight bare knuckle see. This is a and was not totally bare knuckle. You have wraps, but they're, not gonna, work gloves and there's quite a few fights there to some place. Where guys are fighting like this now yeah they have wondering if it's an impact of mma being more popular, oh really yeah, but So once I saw I had these thick boxing gloves on this guy fall Instagram Sanchi he's bad mother and he he just fought the other night with those gloves on wear the wraps. Rather no gloves I was like wow he's doing. Those fights like the top. Some of the top Thai guys are doing these fights and they wrapped in rope around their head. It's just sort of like this is all ceremonial right now. Well, it's
it's not yet. This is a spin things in their hands. So it's also a warm up, see when you watch what he's doing here when you bend his knee down and picks his foot up he's stretching hips he's stretching like all the muscles around his upper leg, it to make it more Lou for kicking, also he's loosening up see all the power in your kick now comes from a weight, but it comes from your hips. A lot of it is let the swinging of the hips and the engaging of the hips we throw kicks. So what he's doing is like it's conducive to bring up that area where you were going to light someone's legs up? They both do see other onto a it's a warm up, but it's also we're your actual I'm up for their own right, but it's also a spiritual life to do. Do you have the Have these, so you walk in the street and you see an alley. Just go down the alley and there's the ring in the middle of it, maybe a pool table and like for like makeshift bars around it, there's like like like
It looks like a lemonade stand at the Rose bowl swap meet, you know, and then you just get booze. Some people come around taking bets like who do you want and then, if you pick the right guy, you can put whatever bet you want and they just pay it off. It is a beautiful art. Yeah. I love moitie. It's boo. Beautiful, but it seems like that he was doing one legged squats and when you're doing that, you're just trying to warm up yeah, just trying to warm up his hips and right next to each other too and they're about to beat the fuck out of each other? So we There are real, respectful yeah, I didn't see. Any si went to a couple different ones. That is weird Voters. This is back alley things that you get like fifty people to show up. Well, they they're the same way, though, even when their world champions really interesting. Yeah I've seen world championship fights with the two fighters, but I've also seen animosity. I watch This fight in LA where book out was fighting this guy and blue cow. I think his name was par plummet.
And it's like their name. The part of their name is what their gym that they're fighting out of but His actual name is bull cow. I think I don't much are either way he's a bad mother. Fucker like a world champion world class tie fighter, and he thought this dude. Who is really disrespectful to him. So he did this like very violent and aggressive dance. Towards him and really it was very different- is very different than I'd ever seen before or he'd like launched, arrows atom and shit and like all this like choreographed, but it was like directed towards this guy. Then they fought and he fucked him up. He let him up. He shot. There's uh and also fuck them up. Well, each fake shot the arrow's during his Yes, but when they thought he fucked it up. He was like knocked out the trash he well blue cows on he's on a very high level as a tie fighter and there's a lot of fighters who are maybe aggress within athletic, and they hit really hard and they
overestimate their ability, and they just think there are bad motherfucker they've knocked guys out there gonna fight with how they're going to knock this mother fucker out to like people have this idea in their head we get in there with that guy and you realize like oh ok, this, I can't even hit him and he's every my movies killing my legs. Every time I come close, his knee is getting buried into my rib cage. He's elbowed me in the head on the break and then smiling at me and doing it all over again he's going to keep doing it and your body's gonna start breaking down and that's what happened. He just started beating the fuck out of this dude, like those guys were getting a little aggressive there. Does he got in the way? This is what lasting way longer than anything. I saw these guys love each other. I think things are going to start making out. I think Jamie tricked us into watching some gay porn asking to start up. That's why I have gloves on each other with those things so but yeah I like fighting, I saw probably ten fights the first time
and then in Chiang Mai, I probably another I saw another, probably seventy eight fights, what was the fight? were you and Duncan were in the crowd at the UFC, and you timed. It perfectly don't know how else fighting like wrestling for Nate, Marquardt Brad to Varese POW from memory. I remember that my wife will tell me some shit yesterday. I'm like you, never said that. Meanwhile, she totally talked for like ten minutes about it really but Nate Mark First is Brad Tavares over the summer banks there's that's it Nate Marquardt, Brad Tavares and then they close, and when the camera came to them, they made out the dying dying laughing. Dare you how dare you dog images watch array so we're starting to throw out? We started from Illuminati signs up for Illuminati signs. We made a big one with my whole forearm and forum and his both giant triangles, and then he goes at some point. Duncans like we kept taking it up
so some point just leans to mean it goes. You know we gotta kiss right and I was like mother Fucker gas here right, do, and so I'm watching a fight in Duncan staring at the monitor the whole time just staring waiting for it to come on us and then at some wage goes now. So I just had to turn, and we're making out- and we gotta be careful about that folks, but get me in trouble. Oh, I know the UFC didn't even care. It was funny the inner over the next thirteen is an animal. He doesn't give a fuck. I don't know him, but he goes. You two are quite this.
Media stars this morning, get in a bad thing. It's funny do anything wrong. Dean is a regular person yeah, you know like it for having a guy who's. The president of like that, you will. Oh, my god. There isn't stupid where children forties the is wrong with the with the people. He thinks legit thing, but he's in a living out, of course. So do I think I am too that they can assign worshipper, because I went to that that performance city did that guys, funeral or the fuse on funeral. If this were my man answer just to show it was birthday party. So what are the wedding phone? Remember? Someone's wedding It was a one of the Vase Intel Anton the vase. We went to a restaurant or something and younger he performed at one of his Like Burt Birthday parties, the dead grandfather there for that one
did a little over yeah it was. It was so bizarre. It was just so strange. The p I returns a bunch of people. I knew there to really yeah. You guys are quite sickness, so yeah. Well, they weren't, really sadness like one of them was hired with Dave. Foley's wife at the time yeah? I was like oh hey. What's up little shoes there, there was a bunch of people. We did. We run into some other comics there. Two. I wasn't at the wedding. You can go to the wedding. I was just being Dunkin and Joey Joey and he probably went to yeah- we were like what the fuck is. This is some party want necessarily was a wedding. It was like six, I don't know whatever I met a guy Hank. Third, was there too that they Williams with her cool yeah. I didn't get to meet him. I like his music, it's really crazy yeah. He was over this country roots two or deep
Who is awesome in that wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia? It was a good movie holy. They were red next, oh my god, but he was great in it too. You know like he's like helping narrated and talk to the Jesco. The dancing outlaw, whatcha, fucking awesome awesome, strange people. They run shit too well. Sort of I mean they're only getting arrested for the Duke boys. They are the real, Duke Bowl, yeah yeah. He like the Duke boys are supposed to be like these ha. Gold moonshiners, don't wanna the cousin, I'm not buying it. I would be like really isn't on the yeah. Look at this page she's in Nobody's fucking, daisy. Ok, thank you! God! Damn boyfriend she's running around her because she like she did she likes Cleatus. She could she make it more obvious. She's cut the legs off for sure
So you could just finger her swing and she's there for you, she's letting you nod: she's hacking, his shorts, like no girl ever know. Girls never done that ever even now, it's like God, damn and she was doing it when no one was doing it and she was wearing mens shirts like she just got done. Fucking touch tight side. Man's shirt on, like your shirt, should be wearing your shirt buttons down to the fifth button tide off on the bottom tab. Come on. Son she's got a man's shirt on. Why is that? Super hot girl have almost no shorts. The second loop right number, and that's two bolo. Dare you you don't even know your history show me the number to Bose. That's right, that's him yeah. It's been awhile Tom Wopat man that her those are the number twos geisinger those shorts cry. She was hopping. This makes me nervous just looking at it.
You could see the shock of their pants yeah. The dicks is hard as rocks, so my guess the right next to her and then he related to her, because not me, okay to ship camel toe on she's got. It looks like the beginning of one just the beginning of badge outline everything you can see the slice they had grandma panties back guess who doesn't care me? Are your panties guy, the like a little girls with dolls? I don't like granny panties, a girl for nothing, yeah, say it. Somebody's gonna constraining yourself, so they were moonshiners with a heart of gold but never got any pussy and they were beautiful men beautiful. Then in their hot cousin. It was a show where no one fucked was the most ridiculous world. That was way more ridiculous in the like they were shooting, bows and arrows with lightning with
dynamite at the end of it and they didn't have guns 'cause. They did time for fucking running moonshine, but the man should let him do what they do down here and hazard County we got our own rules yeah. That wasn't sure nobody fact yeah, you think, fucking boss hog, would have had a slew of hookers. She should have a land line. They'll do that that show now in reality like this is what it would be like. Well, let's think about her she's. Only hot girl on the show ever look who she should have to do. One of the grossest women of all time. That's his wife. How dare you yeah he would have achieved a wonderful woman in the greasy were fucking her. He would've been fucking. Her uncle Jesse would have fucked everybody would fuck to clean his scooter, boss, Hog definitely what's are definitely hear her on the payroll. She been right right next to him that Cadillac with the bull horns in the front of it, but she came on to the other guy. Oh it always come and obvious is gay as fuck and he was uncomfortable by because Jesus is strong in his life.
So why cleanest in one minute? That's not that's them now. Don't show me now Don't don't do it? Don't do it to me Jamie kill this thing. You were watching television now look at our sitting up on them. Legs are so high. She was ridiculously how much just watching tv now, but here's what's crazy about that show it was, I mean, was there another girl on the show ever besides like old? Ladies, maybe she had like uh Rule in the contract should be uh. Yeah, like listen benches. I don't think there was ever another lady. I watched it. If I was running the dukes of Hazzard. Ok, this is why I'm not an executive, but if I was wanting to do to hazard, I would say: ok, why do we only have one hot chick? Are you guys, out of your fucking mind, we need to Bay watch this mother fucker you it turned to porn. If you were running within two seasons, it would like, let's just hey boss hog. No, it's a comedy folks. You should have more funny hot girls in the background, do
mother ship maybe run another alternative storylines. You have a plot to be plot. This is the problem with Hollywood. As soon as you get some fuckin, he now you're like let's put some more hot women that come you're, ruining it. I'm trying to diversify. I'm thinking a hot indian woman, that's what I'm thinking hot indian woman. You always get you think you're going to it's, that close happening and she may be the smuggling in India, shipment of Jello and two of them have to maybe have some sort of battle. Let's just make sure that punches up when we write together, yeah everyone, every white, everyone always punch up. We make fun of white men specially. Let's punch up, ok, it's important and if somebody recognized me in island in Thailand, said Eddie: Bravo, it takes Muay Thai class there and said rebels gotta seminar Kosum. We he was going to Teacher salary is like. Please tell Eddie Bravo! Well. What do you have message? Your favorite show right now the mother Fucker get on Twitter. Like everybody else, come on
It was nowhere places they have the internet. How dare try to use you? How much is say hello man, you tell me where you have a task. What am I a carrier? Pigeon, you fuck. What am I Ravenwood high something to my ankle back home. I teach me how to like the fucking kick out on my scooter. How do you fuck it? He goes ARI here, I'm like yeah. Ok, how do you kick the scooter thing out? It goes here. Let me show utility brother to come out here down actually be really hot. If you had like a girl who was like a super hot girl who would carry a message to tape to her ankle yeah and then what a service? Yes a messenger, but you know how like maybe like? to hire someone to be a clown at a birthday party or some show up at your dance show up at
office rather, and do it dance for you on your birthday. You know somebody got you a dancer gram data. Instead of that you have hot girls, show up like ravens with a note attached to their ankle and they have to put their leg up on your desk an untidy Don't give it to you in some weird sort of semi strippers or situation, and you read this little scroll old Timey. And we put it back away by this kind of you- have a meal one of those wax seals. They have to stand like it hasn't been broken. Of course, absolutely yeah yeah wax seal around her ankle like just some, maybe maybe a little hot wax got honor. Oh, I do feel when this message was that have to say I like it, I like being a little bit, maybe not hurt me little wax. Wow wag never had anybody. That would be a new service. How much would you pay five dollars extra? Well, what
Thinking is probably more. Let's just concentrate on ballers we move into Bellaire Ann Beverly. Hills were all these fuck heads are driving million dollar cars and we just start, under the former Miss Yugoslavia running from a fuckin uprising in our country. Let's get crazy, let's say each message: cost it cost. One thousand dollars should deliver a message in LOS Angeles in that style in that style, one thousand dollars plus tips. But you gotta make sure the girls don't become hookers, he don't they would be just become hookers. Don't have already done this for one thousand. I have thirty thousand more. If you'll come on into my castle. Long. Have you been working for this agency, you so much harder than all the other girls? Whoever do this? Listen! You don't need this shit sit down I'll call them have a drink with me. Do you like music? What kind of music you like? How 'bout r Kelly with real talk, real talk? Bitch?
I wish you would burn my mother, fucking clothes, real talk! Look if you heard real, I heard a long time ago- maybe create a song humanities ever double video series, everything amazing, all the trapped in closet, you think of the trapped in closet. Chapman clause was pretty deep or real talk with thing real talk was one song was one One song in one music, video having r Kelly, so he went a little crazy too then came back keeping on the jail bro. I didn't do anything well, nothing happened ever peed on a girl like girls like forty, R Kelly is forty more chapters of clubs. This is it real. This isn't real! No, oh, my god, it's like the onion r Kelly, Has forty more chapters of trapped in the closet planned he's amazing? I we never dies. Well, I really hope. He lives forever. He might be. My favorite person
real talk, there's a specific kind of crazy and its famous crazy. Where I could no one will ever tell you, don't be this crazy. Let's be honest, it's also black famous, crazy, famous crazy. Couldn't pull that off the White guy can't wear o'clock around your neck and act like it's normal black eye. Can pull off way more extravagance. You know like this. Isn't racist, I'm just being I'm just being real with you. Says the guy with the sumo sword on his desk, so many gave it to my face samurai swords who most upside your fucking racist, have Darien misappropriate culture, oh my god, you're terrible person. I always knew you're racist. You hide behind the fact you're a Jew, so persecuted racist,
well, etcetera. Several of the guys. Are you guys on the other side, orders the signatures or you change the game and sumo's? You might just made sumo amazing made a relevant again. The most amazing thing ever just watching guys go to war, okay, how bout facts guys going to war not allow stamp through the body. You can see what hakama parhat so guys would it be covered with scars? That would be pouring out like it's like so peeling. The shields now fuck them now so is there shields do make a dull swords how about no swords? How about like what if you were playing with light sabers right, but the light sabers just shocked you, oh, but like it would be like heavy shock. Yeah like a tayser right, like a Jason Ellis,
type shock, yeah level, but with light sabers yeah. Imagine if that was a support. Oh my god, I might have just invented the perfect sport by the way Jason Ellis run with this yeah go for it dude for real I'll, give it to you. Yeah go ahead even help um. They have light saber tasers. They should. Why, should they if they don't they're retarded I was a girl and a rapist came to me and I had a taser I'm going to fuck. But if I had a tayser lights, light, saber I'd like you're, probably not going to continue with this, might have fucked you're going to get outta here, yeah yeah anyone can touch you with something like a light. Saber like they might be able to depends on who you are. Obviously, if you Steven Segal he'll figure it out, they build a block it and flip you. You never touch him with any part of you touched it shocks here. Yeah you have to just touched feet like fake you're going logo, hi FI, we could go in high school at all any sort of block at it would be anybody who knows fencing for sure they would fuck you up like fencers would be the most dangerous people ever on earth. Well, imagine if you
had one it was small and you can press a button like you do with a lightsaber come out a Roddick stand yeah like a metal rod because they have those things like those batons beat the press, a button that becomes a steel, but times are odd, yeah dude only twelve. What's wrong with us grown men. We pay taxes, so you would press a button and it would just become electrified. Yeah that's totally seems like it would be a real thing: wow yeah. They probably have that in development how did they? Not if they don't they do now? The batman should have that fuck. You should have that Superman. Still fuck him up. That's This movie is stupid. I don't care what anybody says who Superman or Batman's is going to put Kryptonite all over his body suit pants, going to go and make the world spin backwards so that Batman doesn't get the fucking crap tonight suit dummy, but the world spin backwards. All you have to do
stay like one hundred feet away from Batman. You could find out when I got the kryptonite just keep spinning backwards like a month ago. You would just pick up cars and throw them at Batman till he died to stop or he's not trying to kill him. All good, but if he wanted to he could that's the idea right. Every you won't get it Bro, Batman! Gevel! That's why you always wins. Listen, bitch, evil. Listen, she's evil, the other guys bulletproof shut the fuck up he's an alien. Did you member, we were saying I would just get angry right now. You don't even fucking understand comic books. When I didn't Instagram post about that all my god. People are so mad at me. Why you taking the fear factor guy seriously, why you taking me through com books, yeah, that's right there. We don't know about the subject.
You just said I don't know bout. I barely barely know something about. Comic books did almost previews for star wars. All the superhero movies were exactly the same yeah they don't We got a poll power back, we got to you got I got to check in and we got to know about your powers. The kid get mad. Other superheroes like I'll help pulled over powers. Super fight it was like, but more than one preview right in STAR wars was that same movie. The last avengers felt really stale really yeah, because I saw it right after the She know what is it Xbox, Xbox Xbox x ex market, which was excellent? If you haven't I mean ex markina. It's a movie about artificial telegian. San is beautiful. It is a perfect movie. I wouldn't change a thing so good. The ending wasn't like
no, no, no! No! No. That movie was amazing. That movie was like whoa because the reality of these things of this artificial intelligence, this guide created, was fuck infeasible. Really it was good. It's really good, though dramas good! The whole thing is good, it's just so good and then, after that, I want to see the Avengers I was like this is so stupid, this movie so dumb. This is like I'm watching the dukes of Hazzard. Take place with the it's like. It didn't mean anything x, market everything meant something like these people interactions. The other interactions felt real, there's some real palpa, full tension is like real danger there being played by these artificial creatures that they've created that look exactly
but it's good man, it's good! That's why star wars to me was like I would ever. I love star wars. It was just like a b minus fun movie, a plus Aplus and there's no real characters. Five stars I'll go ten times I loved it. I did love it. Man I have, I think, almost exact opposite taste in movies, as you and a lot of music to you like a sucky, sucky selection of music. You like a lot of the chick rock that I like quite about it, to tell buddy blasting out Nelly Furtado Bro, I like a little Nellie beautiful voice, but I a lot of the red. You really are who's. The croutons will to do all right. I picked up Eddie Bravo once and this girl is dating a way back in the day, and I had sent Crow playing in my aka and and she's like what why you playing this? If it
thanks, you have something like this is mine. This is mine. She No, it's not! I go yet to see me. I got the CD. I know you do not listen to this music, but I do So I don't know where we're going with this never spoke to her again how rude how rude well bring these barbarians around yeah. You can't like chick rock, otherwise you some kind of a pussy yeah. It's weird I don't here. I used to have my cities alphabetized and I would have them separated by singers and male singers, Have you ever heard, Grace Potter and the nocturnals heard of them have listen to that. Girls got out voice. About Alabama shakes right? No, oh ciao! Well, let's, let's kiss one person out. There is so much bigger, but yeah? This grace brother, yeah they're, pretty major, now yeah, I think she's, pretty big too. We don't know dude we're out of
I know I know Alabama shakes with her. She don't even have a phone. You got some fucking, one thousand nine hundred and eighty Morris code, in your pocket. I don't even get it doesn't even vibrate when I get a text now, of course it does it's in my phone, if my pocket- I don't even know if people text me and then five hours. Where are you what information is like? I don't know his welcome God. That's hilarious yeah! I get only vibrate when it rings and that's it yeah. I, when only notification. I went to a cluster when my phone upgraded Jenna and went from text messaging to sending I messages that turn Imessage off, but then people are still sending me. I messages and get on that was getting on my computer, but I wasn't get them on my phone like this is so stupid, like this system is so goofy like? How do you opt out of this How do you say? I want everything in one place. I don't need it going everywhere. I don't need to be getting phone calls on my fucking when I'm, when I put my phone over there, I want to be able to get like the voicemail. Those later I don't.
Let's see Don my computer when I'm working. So what do I have to do now? I have disable this, and why is this set there by default? Why is my phone making? computering by default. Can I get some shit done, got damn it. Ours fear it's always infringing it's always infringing on your day, get into the bull Chuck Twitter. It's been four minutes, listen! What if there was no response! Your resistance is few tile now independence, which is my real thick? I think it's going to be better, but I don't think we've developed it edit kit around phones. Yet you say that until you have four legs, every girl wants to blow you once you that for leg upgrade crossing even know why something about him, I have four legs life looks up. It did get crazy amount of James to say what about the Twitter NEWS of the weekend where they might be changing some free spirits, free speech, stuff it
away verification from well. They pull away Milo Yiannopoulos verification for pulled his verification away. They said that they don't say it violation of terms of service. So now he's only verified exactly, but he still allowed to post. So there now Some posts are saying if it's offensive to delete your account right well not see he's not being anymore. Here's a problem with that guy and it's not a bad problem, he's funny. And a lot of what he's doing is theater like and if he gets you riled up, especially if he has a point I think he has a point with a lot of things, he's picking on he's, not dumb, he's very smart, and so he's getting people riled up like a professional all. I was also a very bright guy, who writes some pretty good articles and I'm just a really good art. What is is this something magazine who writes for bright parties like he's a live? right he's a conservative writer,
the conservative, I guess a blogger, I guess you would call him. You wouldn't say he's a journalist he's more of you know: he writes editorials rights, just pieces, but he's also gay, a gay as fuck and conservative, and he goes and debates with these feminists and just crushes them with facts, and they can attack him because he's gay. So he says that here's, the sketch down card exactly immunity he's got this weird loophole and he knows what the fuck he's talking about yeah. I don't agree with him on some things, but he's a very bright guy, so when he find someone that can pick on, especially like he's really into picking out feminists and calling them out on their hypocrisy and picking on people that just meaning he'll, go across the board with anybody. If he thinks you're being ridiculous and he makes a big deal out, the pizza, then what people have got mad at what it was exactly Hill says. I don't know you don't say things to rile people up will see offensive things, but guess what you block him I think it's I think it's enjoyable like. I would think it's fun
Twitter becomes weird where it's like. You have a bunch of followers who follow you. You say something funny on the offensive side. Instead of an acute side, you get retweets. If some cute, I thought so now the retweets go to people who don't follow you and they may not even know who you are right and they go like what the fuck is. That supposed to who's. This guy. You know, and they don't see the new contract. They don't see it's one out of ten tweets in a row about a subject so they see and they get mad, they flag it, and then the people don't know the girls been flag seven thousand times. I guess people are mad at this guy. We gotta ban 'em well, especially as a terrible road to go down yeah. If there's, if you're doing a set a series of of well yeah, you know one hope you had a look at the context. Exactly yeah that could definitely so they took away is verify. I simply want to not be verified. Here's what I'm saying they they up, because now you have you've made him a martyr like you got your v he's your bring right into his spider web. Why is twitter getting involved in any's level, so
the which he seems like he is? It is a known writer than he's in all right. I'm not sure if I was great on the podcast really yeah he's hilarious. He's he's a not yeah. I I you know like I said I don't agree with them about a lot of things, but I like what he's doing it it makes me laugh like what is the difference between when he was doing what he's doing and what a lot of funny hue journalists have done well. What about them and say something in earnest that I think is like a simply wrong anti free speech, and it gets me angry. I don't try to get them banned from it. Yeah I don't mind, but I don't mind because it hasn't affected my mind. I just don't want to stop them from saying it. I mean it has affected me on a professional level right now and if it has it's my fault, you know anything that I've ever been affected by like. If I made a mistake, it's clearly been my fault. I've made definitely some errors, but I think there's a difference between, like I think,
what type of self people to make those decisions not for them to make it for you well bothers getting back to that. Guy and coover that had to pay fifteen grand? What bothers me about any any interaction between two people that, like the person said something rude or not. Who knows what exactly went down? That money starts being a thing that's thrown around because then the government gets their piece too by the way right, so on the side of lecture. You should be able to also get their piece because of the trial court costs everything has to get factored in. I don't know exactly how it works in Canada, but if it was in Red States like Ford is in serious he's he's out a lot of money in his own, his own lawyer fees because he's fighting it. He has cash is ago. Please, like a Well known french canadian Comic, so we had this whole, like french canadian tour you can do in which one was he MIKE Ward, is the one with what
talking earlier, but the kid who had some disease. That was not us right, okay, and he made a joke about that yeah. It was a bit he had, but, like he's gotta, pay all his legal fees and try to like to win this and he could pay the eighty grand the sooner for but he's like. Then it sets such a the president, in his own battle on free speech. Saying. I don't want to lose this for what it means. It's fucked mean it's people like folk uhm should. The joke. That's bullshit, of course, is sure to get laughs a bunch. A lot he said enough times was a was a winning bid in his act yeah, and you can't decide that you can't take well. Obviously the but you should have celebrity from people like that
I mean you might want to say you don't want to ever go to one of the shows. That's all I have to do this, I'm not going to chick fillet. The guy supports you know it's like a stuff. Okay, there you go. That's how you speak with your own dollar, exactly let let the market decide yeah! No, I think that's that's the appropriate way to that six phone directors that guy who did who did labyrinth garbage? Now? How dare you it's like once. You realize that, but it's like on with our fear. He used to be cool but now it's like fucking awful and it's just talking, he's gone sour. So then it's like I just want. So many more but of course go make whatever you want to make in well I, and say when sour I still like it stuff, you like the hobbit that he wrote you like that. Last movie, you didn't like that. Last movie, you don't like it looks like it was an acting. Last thing was it. It was just like there was no acting. How are you the cabin thing?
Thank you or mainland said I mean I was probably pretty high, but God was such terrible, acting and no plot and just like way way way to show you some special effects. In a little did you out now, but I did leave. Did you I left quietly mean the girl I was left eventually were like like we both realized. We were both wanting to leave about twenty five minutes, and then I was like yeah. Let's just go towards here. Maybe just want to give freak on dude. You like that movie that New movie made love. Did you really do you have Ark it? I'm not going to bring up to what the american side, because I'm afraid we're going to say, but no boots bring that up. Please bring that up 'cause. I saw it so tell me you didn't like it. It wasn't a good movie. It was a good movie. Wasn't a good movie: this is the thing exact. I never get to like it. So so now he's having trouble sniping. Suddenly it's good again. Why is why? Is the scene in there this subject matter is highly charged and very
very sensitive to people, so anything, that's thought of in disrespect of Chris Kyle will automatically get up in arms, for I completely understand talk about his book and I'm not in beanie that I saw this fucking awful movie completely understand people's position in respecting him as a guy who kept people safe over there. I understand with the phone with his wife after the movie when it's in battle angry, but I was going. Is it just not? Well done? No, it's not well done it's not not that well done. I mean this is my opinion. I just felt like was flat, and this is like is a good comparison. Uh. I hate to beat a dead horse, but x, Makeena, X, Makeena and watch that movie and there's a way that it's shot. There's a wait list he's told like that story. Is it very compelling story? It's kind of a crazy still black hawk down was a good movie that was like wow gripping at fucking. Yes,
exact sighting in the Chris Cole store. You know what would have been fucking survivor Ryan was great how about like the truth about Chris Kyle's life like in Tord, at the end where he was involved in that Jesse Ventura thing, which is really kind of crazy. We just make it up as worry about a fight with Jesse Ventura that never happening so Jesse Ventura sued him an one and then after he won he he got Chris Kyle got killed and Jess event got all these death threats. He want to continue superheroes. It wasn't that much here before he died. We just some He was lying about me. Well, I think you can be both yeah yeah sure this is where things get really confusing. Michael Jackson raped boys. I don't think he did. I think he just jerked off in front of. Shit stuff like that yeah maybe around he was raping him. I just feel like that. Would've got out, yeah, maybe Ray I think it was. You know I say I it is in like maybe definitely so in order of the owners. You know you know. If you
get one, he got one mean during the it's not my fault. I'm turned on, I mean he's, got us find time to jerk off unless he's only jerking off in the shower, when I'm touching it it's gonna happen there over the house all the time they're sitting in his lap, and you know just blood their sensitive tissue. Look how they playing video games with their asses in the ass is false. All my fault, I can tell just like that, and it's just love Super Mario Kart, everyone so sense. If it's just love God, the work disputed Super Mario Kerbal, listen to beat it exactly down at Anna member that yeah good times, I'm going in the room with Macaulay anyway, whatever I don't know how to get on that. How do we know that we just went with it we're talking about so yeah. For that you can be two things at once. You can be two things at once: doesn't mean he wasn't a hero. Yet artists of those and it'll do shaved, yeah, we'll think about what he did all right. There was a separate sniper right. My guess is saved America,
citizens that were over there fighting in the war against other people that were fighting against good citizens, the, where are your conclude, hold on a second sorry, joy, your conclusion about who's right, who's, wrong, yeah. They just get that on your head and he was trying to protect his friends right. So, whether or not you think that he should be on this team with that team, or this terms bad that teams good with put all that aside. He kept a bunch. People live. Those people came back whether not you think they should come back whether not you think they should ever been there in the first place, he definitely helped countless. I mean he's probably actually part of this but with the french sniper or about sniper in our world, doesn't exist. You a good movie yeah, it's not a good he longer shot he ever took was like two thousand yards. I remember numbers anymore. And then, and then, I heard someone so Moustafa was getting shots. That long is it's possible. I've shot that, but that's the longest I've ever shot and then, when he shoots him at the end, it's twice as far as the longest shot he's ever heard of it can't even
The other guy, you just see a blur, and it goes. I know it's him, it must be. I have a feeling yeah and then it goes. Yup got 'em. You can't even see him You know you made the twice as long as any shot. That's ever been recorded without being told You just know you have you made it yeah? You need a spotting scope for two hundred yards. You know people Look at his target. It's two hundred yards away, garbage spotting scope to see where you're hitting on the target. 'cause like it's, not that good to see how to scope like your Eiffel fucking. Yeah from two hundred yards, which is nothing so like two football fields it was Just just here's. The question, though, is it also a factor uh? you're, telling a real person story with his law. Cool variation from the truth is possible over a unacceptable period of time. Two hour movie or whatever it is. It's fucking hard to do and they didn't do a good job of it needed a terrible job of it, but it would have been incredibly difficult
even second best actor yeah. Not really I mean come on, he's looked like you could tell what he was doing lines. He was hit a rubber baby and I knew the difference for baby all but he's moving the rubber baby with fingers and stuff. You can go fuck yourself. Ok, I'm not a kid. What you do in a magic trick that I can see who would stick this thing in my hand: you're shoveling! In your rest, the same time here look like thumbs coming apart, bulging your shirt at the fucking hanky, still sticking out a little bit warmer. For God, even the the beginning when he finds his girlfriend in bed with another guy throws out and they're having that talk, he's drinking a beer. It's like dude come on you're, not even a real person is acting classes. I can see you doing lines he's not a real person he's behaving in this incredible, exemplary way. Like a hero is in practice, he's a beautiful hero, he's a perfect hero and we can't believe he's gone. I mean that's what
is heroes and they showed the real girl watching nine hundred and eleven site with this girl in the stands up and they're, like you just tell the directores in the background, feel it more not feel it more. Let's hit you love America. This is happening to you, feel it more. What's the prob whenever you try to dramatize anything, you know that movie foxcatcher is a clusterfuck of lies, movie that's based on Mark Schultz and David Schultz Sword Olympic wrestlers. They were very fame American Olympic Champion wrestlers. They were both beasts and there's. This is a guy named John Dupont and John. Do I had a lot of money? It's like the name is a crazy man and he wanted to wrestle, so he hired all these guys and build them in this incredible world class training facility and paid them, and these guys were struggling wrestlers. They went and then one of the guys Dave want up getting murdered by Dupont, and it was this crazy story and Steve Carell played him in the. But the movie, although it was a good movie the
The reality was way off way off like they change the timeline of the UFC. How to tell the UFC existing like way way before it did I'm less concerned with that than if it's a movie that unless they say it's like a actual biography, yeah consumer. That then then, if I can cook Narcos Mckenna, some is based on true some of this just like that in other ways of it is kind of what they didn't have to fake. That that's a case. Stork delighted that fake it because they're idiots will benefit to this plot. It's dress. Somebody's stinks, they're, smarter than everyone who's going to know the truth, which is the dumbest thing to to think. You should never think. If you're gonna talk, about a subject like the UFC to a person like you, I know, you're a fan, death personal people, know when it starts offensive. As far when you try to pretend and started a different date, then when you watch him watch on television watch, big, daddy, Goodrich fight
But then when he fights in the movie he fight some white russian guy bullshit. He fought big daddy Goodrich. Mark Schultz fought big, daddy good, which I watched it. He beat his ass. He took him down. It will remember watching it going Jesus Christ. This is what happens when you get at least Olympic Gold Medalist World champion. Wrestlers like I was thinking to myself, who the fuck is going to keep that I off of other active in a world champion for sure he. Nobody, the Predated UFC. No, he was in the UFC fight Big, Daddy Goodrich in the UFC, but there was no money back down and he had a gig with teaching wrestling at a college and not paid more bulls. Coach is a good. A wrestling coach like a university gave him he's a really respected wrestler and they didn't want him cage fighting. So they tell them like this. Is it like? You have to make a decision, so he had to go with the obvious job. There's no money in the UFC back Dennis Fucking dangerous, but
the changes were those that in the movie they had I'm finding in some unknown organization was in the USA and the guy was a white russian guy who's. Fighting like my now. Let me ask you a question: could this be the reason they changed it, because what they UFC means right now is like this massive thing, so they oh well viewers if they saw this, but you see, that's really big going to give up. Ufc were like no, no, you need to be in the place back then of the just a rogue thing. People just did it like to mix you know I mean I see what was having her sing in in dead. What it's like yeah they didn't have that then, but you're not going to just the cursing they actually had did they have had wouldn't hit as hard as it as it. Change the reality to make it the feeling of the reaction. Imagine if you were doing a comedy show in the wild west and someone tried to heckle you fucking God. Damn I broke out that guy what kind of damage you could do? Oh the cursing. I have now watch scallion your cunt, you fucking bitch.
Well you're, angry outta, here, fuck boy, you're angry and that's not even a real person we're talking about it. You don't worked up. Man, fucking peashooter, Motherfucker she's is Christ, beat it rusty, Sturrup cunt? and then he brings you in for the tribunal and you have to give up three pieces of gold fucked up three pieces of gold. Golgi fear what is going to happen. Man are going to Bitcoin. You think I gotta get Antonopoulos gone, it's been awhile. I don't know, probably tell me again I'll believe him again by the time I come back do you know how to spend Bitcoin how to spin it spend it spend it that's a problem. If you don't know how to spend your money, it's probably looked into it, but if you don't have this ancient fuck, phone you have to be plugged into your laptop with some sort of ethernet cable? Don't you? 1970s laptop too. Don't you fuck book pro that doesn't even have a usb port, which one doesn't have a usb port. Do they have one that doesn't have cd drives anymore?
No one of them, doesn't even have a usb port. There's a real skinny one of the air. No! It's not even the air. It's like it's, not the air, Google that shit son! What have ipads don't happen? I know that yeah I pads don't have usb ports, which was usb port. Usb is where you would plug things in. You know if you were trying to sync your phone up to it or something right, plug your phone by usb or if you want to save something on a drive, but they don't have the usb How do you charge your share point? We know it has a little battery thing sticks, search phone, you don't don't let the fucking laptop, maybe you can't under it. Maybe you can handle the power draw because it's so thin. I can only exists like as something that you can store things in the cloud which is where they're trying to snake you trying to bring. You bless you Do you still except bless you even though you're not religious anymore, or did just offend your sensibilities. I trigger you in any way. You hurt me and I don't it's not correct gender pronouns for today, I am
today going by he I everyday, I'm try Z out for awhile, hee? What is that is that a gender neutral gender neutral it's kind of like she hear you be whoever you want zh I'm just sorry. Why does it have exactly? Why do you have to say mister? We formal huh might fuck. Checking into a hotel creation of words are using. It's like. No one has to say that that's just what they've been saying. I think you need to be able to control what people say, I learn people like shit on some sort of stand up and they go or what is that you can talk about it. That's not all they can talk about. That's one little sentence in this whole bit. That's part of a whole special. It's clearly, not all they can talk about yeah, but if I'm going to make fun of it, that's what I'm going to say. You might say that this is all you can talk about bro you like drag me to hell. Too huh loved. It mean red.
I want to see, and we were so happy and broken and Segura were like you. Fucked up should see dragon. I finally saw it. I'm like this movie, don't even make its mind whether it's a comedy or are perfect. You went high enough and you didn't go see it with me to see you me and Duncan would see, drag me to how we would love it, love it the best time. Would you ever see up? Yes, cartoon yeah? I liked up up was good. That's good is interesting, but it was sad. It was the first time minutes are beautiful, interesting. You saw what won best comedy last night at the golden globes. No, the Martian, oh yeah, none of that word, Marshall Investcom. How does it work? How does the martian win best comment, comedy or musical category, and I don't know how it gets slightly still in comedy or musical, that's so offensive to both comedy and music. That's not a comedy, and it's not a musical listen award shows are stupid, call it other their stupid award. But how did the martian win best comedy their stupid because he made some he kept it light hearted. Sometimes I just ran it by is one the best one
we've already established right here between you and I shit. I love that you hate like genuinely love star wars like I walked out of there going. Yes, they fucking did it doctor like they nailed it. They upgraded the you know, movie and made it fit in today, and they did it with great acting in a great story line. It was perfect. It was very star. Wars asked Yakin hated it, so I didn't hate it it's just like. I thought it was like a big. Ok, let's, let's pay it's fun movie. Tell me some other movies. You've seen recently saw star wars with us. It was to compare hit the late no way. So I haven't seen that side max I enjoyed mad max yeah me too was fun, chase money yeah, you know any problem None of them can hated, it really hated it. There were none pointed at one of the points where I'm like this wouldn't exist in that world. I set up the mic that wouldn't happen in star wars, the world they set up. It's like
why is she suddenly have July flowers with no training? Well, because this thing called editing, there's, probably a bunch of scenes that were on the living room floor that explain her power, spoiler alert at this point in star wars? Everyone seen it. He should really say spoiler alert for us. We really fucked up already open. Got a little too fast and then it's like well, no. She was the chosen ones like oh, like Luke Skywalker. She was discovered for a month with the fucking Yoda to get any of his powers. Well, chicks, learn quicker and they have no chick fil quicker in their world and they had that. If you don't get it from as a kid you're never going to get it, but there's a thing called morphic resonance and they think that, like as people learn, things becomes easier for other people to learn things. We will learn together, but she beat up later beating up a storm trooper with it, which heading up the summer been studying with the head guy. She had a guy who's been studying under the main Gracie right and she was like I just sort of get.
You too, and I think I can be out this guy who's been studying under the main Gracie Bj Penn won the world championships three years in weird shit happens: man here's training, though he wasn't just like it, sir digits. You know what you don't realize that she was using the force, but she's, probably using it all along. There was, Fun move, but you saw first week right what's first week just for the weekend, Oh yeah! I said that's why it was the same as the other movie when it came out episode, one for everyone's like me to like fuck. Yes, this is way better than those, but it was like not as good as people, remembering how dare you where you want to theater when they clapped when they saw the millennium falcon? I clapped alright, how much now it's a brain wash week. I almost cried. I know I hope they do. The other things they've already done. The left Han solo showed up. My heart filled with joy, like that. That was fun. That was fun. Like that, a lot that was great with chewy like we're home like fuck. Yes, I, like that a lot you fucked up in that regard, right, spoiler alert,
No there's no spoilers anymore to even have a chance with a month. It's been a model say it. What if people like fast forwarded and they get to the or we say Han Solo- got killed? Do it? There is a guy that I saw picture of and then somebody you know those things you can put in the back. Your truck like the Smith family, Han Solo dies in the force, awakens rude in the star wars, font so rude. That's really really driving around it's big for boiler, You can also move some of spoilers. You have a chance right, then, to get on it or you're done. I already knew we're going to see the movie that had already been spoiling allies and forget, it had already been spoiled for Maine, but I still enjoy the few new is going out there to die. I knew he was going to die. He walked out on the platforms, like obviously you're, going to shoot him ok. Why don't you shoot your stupid, fucking son, late abortion signed come up here
worst case scenario. You wanted coolest guys of all time, love by millions and your son, just turned out to be evil went to the dark side happens I'll. By the way you had a son with Princess Leia, so you get to FUCK Princess Leia. You know what you think. Match made in Heaven? Is the moon tonight super heroic swash buckler with a giant bigfoot by side during the hot princess and they get together and fuck and they make an evil baby that winds up killing daddy, that's bullshit is bullshit. How much did it make you laugh when, when that guy finally took off, is Adam Drive? finally took his helmet and you're like, but there's a beautiful semitic man behind that drink. He looks like an awesome Oh my god, right here there was giggling. He described as a semantic man he's gorgeous and there's no way those auras parents is a Gore This is due wow, alright hot, for that guy
was his name Kylo Ren, those name Kylo Ren. That was just too Jamie back me up on that. That was ridiculous. He pulls off his helmet. Look this evil, guys Jamie back! You up! I'm right here! Bro, I'm not leaving you alone. You didn't think that was done was ridiculous. It's perfect here! How does your hair stay perfect at? Why isn't it sweaty that we know have what do you have had a full helmet? You have a beautiful head of hair as soon as you pull it off. It's like you, just got kind of a blowout get his hair. All blown out he's gonna set. You know it pulls this sweaty fucking metal, helmet off how much would be sweating in that stupid thing, where you're up telling people I mean he's killing people he's running around grabbing them and crushing them he's hacking things up. It's sword, member that yeah I like him. I did like a beautiful harassment as beautiful and then that's that Chris is Laia and and if that guy, what's his name, what's the guy's name, who the actor Harrison Ford did not birth of that. Listen if that guy acts like a dick to girl in his bangs. I never called him back. It's not his fault. No, it's not a false. Look at him. He's got powers is get super powers. The for
this is strong with him like for real, like the force to bang chicks, it's very strong and he might have you that he could get away from driving my regular howdy before we do. This take yeah, it's beautiful, it's ridiculous movie, but I loved it. I do like the the the the theories of like Debbie storm troopers are like wait, I'm not feeling this I like with the handle. It's actually keep checks on them all the time. This one. I don't know how this one got through. Isn't it interesting that the storm trooper, we see without a helmet's black eye, quitter you're, saying fuck the first storm trooper, no, the first, while the first quarter like there in constant storm, any older rivers without helmets, maybe but nobody paid attention to them or the first one they pay attention to is a black guy, interesting diversity, the I don't know the started with a look that that is the case. I think star wars. The case we can make the argument that, even though they might have on twords diversity they nailed it
but the woman is a perfect fucking superhero and the man who's. A storm. Trooper was great. Arguments like this seems like the right race or there's something like gender. Both of them seem totally fun factors honestly, hoping that the fighter pilot and the storm trooper had a gay, fair 'cause. It seemed like they're, really close. Oh pull up the way. They hugged like a deep embrace. Oh, how you been man so deep embrace. There was so happy to see you so happy. It was a lot like when that movie. What is the cowboy movie when they go project? It's almost like when gay we haven't seen each other for awhile and they just start making out together and they just dove into each others, arms and went after action. It yeah. I mean they live through life and death out there with laser beams and shit people shoot map them. They survived. That crash landed together is a bond with people. They say when people form relationships after traumatic events like if you
that someone during nine hundred and eleven and like you grab their come with me and you grabbed her hand and you ran and you guys both barely get out of the building and the building collapse, and you got in a car and got away together and then she's crying and she stays in your apartment. You want it falling in love, you are fucking relationship will be super intense 'cause. It's always going to be connected to this one like really powerful event. Like Christie, Brinkley apparently had a situation like that. Using a helicopter crash with this dude and then wound up marrying the dude and then it fucking fell. Parker crazy doesn't make a live with them. They just feel like we together, Maybe we're supposed to survive this together and the bond that you have 'cause you sort of imprint on this moment that go somewhere where, like yeah a really bad time and around that area events, ten years later, she still feel shitty about it. I remember this fucking yeah deep imo connection with somebody. That's like yeah. I have emotional connections with clubs where I bombed. Ago, go by like like if I went by some places in Boston and Black who remember eating Dick up there,
I want to give that some rest right now, you're like yeah. That's nothing like people can develop some serious emotional connections to areas had that Tom Cruise movie. That was actually good that nobody saw very good, oh yeah, where you kept going back in time. Oh wait! A minute! Oh! That was really good, really good everyone already given up on up from the last one so, but that was good and they handle everything right like if that was happened. This would happen there as it is, but he had that girl, so they kept trying to fall in love with me figure it out. If we get to this stage in yesterday, she will follow him up and let's just stay here and stay in love as long as possible. That's beautiful yeah! That's what I'd like! would be like to workout like that. Those aliens were cool. They were really original. Who robot yeah they were weird sort of mechanical transforming alien things that just like there there were off because they were so creative like I've, never seen anything that I go. Oh that's like this yeah. They drop him like cannonballs and
is the ground there, just like these, like, like squids, like maybe coolest aliens in a movie ever and these people are shooting at them? And it's like? Oh, you guys are done. You have no chance, yeah they morphed and changed. Maybe the video proceeded see with that. That scene was like, because it's cool to see the that's looks like an illustration to. Can I just like us, Frank, Frazetta, looking thing you know, Frank for that is now he then no nothing who is the customer is amazing. Artist who used to do do a Conan. The barbarian really yeah, pull it before we go to this pull up frank. Is that a cone end just school, this sad man, Frazetta Konen, waited. We see this image motherfucker this guy was this shit and like the 70s, oh wow go with the one right next to it, to the left of that. That's the classic one go full screen on that that
Classic classic! Well, that's a real our bay area. Do that's Conan the Barbarian? That's what got me into those with girl naked woman's feet. I was standing on top of it. She's a yeah, so the style of blood and bones and meatballs gotta hot girl doesn't give a fuck she's lying on the blood you get a sword in just want to hold onto your reasons he's covered in scars. Who is at scars over his face all over his arms. That was It got me into Conan these images by Frank, Frazetta, they created. This Superman, the samarian Barbarian, who loves having girls. That is course he does. That's the only reason why to fight with a sword son while Sophie I get pussy, they understood it back, Let's go to this right now. Sexist go a little bit right right right. We both know that damn sexism full alive. He came in her thirty four times so we got about sticks out. That's come
bulging she's got her vagina is so full of cum. It's like pushing forward on our abdominals wall that can cause hernias I mean how much coming shooting Lowe's in her and killing people that was before they even knew. What six packs warning at a six pack. No one has six pack in the 70s the couch is they had perfect bodies. They were big with anybody, build pretty cool, pretty cool paintings when Conan was played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everybody like that's what everybody recognizes you know what, but the IRS will, but the will actor in the first set of drawings was much more. It was a close, a comic strip before no, no, no, no, it was a book, a series of books by a guy named Robert E Howard and Robert E Howard. Is this really fascinating guy? They did a movie about. I mean the dude from one of those cop shows the guy from you know the dude from full metal jacket. Amazing actor full metal jacket to play the guy shot himself. The guy who get bullied
Yeah he's quitting everything he's amazing. What is this fucking name? Vinces number. Thank you. Sorry, Vincent he's, a maid He's amazing actor. I was going amazing, say he's in it. Isn't it what what the we just saw? Conan yeah going on? No, plays Robert E Howard, that's what is. He plays Robert E Howard in a biography on Robert E Howard's life in a movie, and I didn't see the movie, but the Howard was supposed to be this. Like really strange guy, who lived with his mom and he shot himself, I think when I was like thirty six yeah, so he had this like. Is that it's the whole wide world? He had. You know some. Serious mental issues for sure, but he also he he wasn't healthy, and so he He had imagined this Superman. Ubermensch destroying people back in this fictitious world he created that supposedly was along time ago. But who knows you know is like countries
never existed and they were doing bad on this witchcraft and demons and monsters. And then there was this Barbera you, sir per this king, who became a king bike. You know killing everything in its path. It was like this indestructible man, that's Conan the Barbarian and so rob the Howard sort of created this guy. Who is the antithesis of what he was? He was free little guy who live with his mom he's a pussy, and he just row longing about this guy. Just this lost for a friend. Everything fell that everything killed. Everything always survived. He was just this uber man, it wouldn't you know the greatest of all time is giant man who moved like a Panther who, like a mind like a steel trap. He would never show weakness. He always was ready to die, but never did so. He wrote all these really bad ass books. They were really while, as probably now, if I read in my black one of my reading,
before that I was eleven. They were this shit really. Did you get this stuff ob sort of I kind of get you know, it wasn't like he put his hard cock in her cunt and it wasn't like that kind of stuff. It was like romantic. You know, is more about like cleaving heads and the war of him being covered with Gore and bill. I have seen you cover the glistening blade of the slices through the attackers you know, and then they realize how they fucked up and try to do battle with Conan and everybody died. Everybody a cone out, but it was just for twelve year old kid or whatever the fuck I was when I guess I was probably at that age. When I got into it, it was amazing, who gives your boy like first of all, no one's going to. Let you see that you're twelve girl boy, they don't show it in movies. They cut off table yet yeah. You don't really even like today, they do like today. If you watched a recent barbarian
we like to do? Is they would show you see, Jason Momoa? Have you seen him play Konnan he's the guy from game of thrones of the books, all one yeah? Well, the really hold hands. Why that guys, early this to back dude is a cool mother fucker. I ran into him recently at foods he couldn't be cooler at ran into with the UFC before too he's? Just really! Nice really friendly guy who uh I want to hate him. 'cause he's a little too beautiful little too beautiful little too tall, but he was my favorite all time Conan, because he that's what Conan is supposed It like maybe like it on tv show now I did a movie was a real. It was as kind of a ship moving. Unfortunately, but it's cool to watch. Anyway, I enjoyed it, but I was going on yeah he's a good size for Colin and, like that will be like we call it would be built yeah. You have a chance to win like everyone in your hand, to hand combat bottles yeah. He wouldn't be built like Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you look at the present a drawings like go to work there for that, one with the sword again, ST the Classic one, it's a little bit over there right. So I.
The real point is like a little more built in him, but that's probably because homeboys on the natch Jason Momoa, that's actually what is really built like sword. Nigger was filled with thirty stuff in the mexican supplements and every you know when he play Kolami. Nobody is built like that when he was Conan, he had the most ridiculous fucking body, Schwarzenegger yeah like number one in the world in my body right. Well, he slimmed down, though he slimmed down towards the other ones. Like you see kind of tell the difference between that one and the other one that you just got those months are huge, is so big and by the way, that's malt like right there, that's very slim in comparison. Like that's a guy who's. Slimming down like that guys built Tyrant looks like the body of the drawing yeah, that's perfect. Actually, that must have been one of the later movies. So I think, like he went from being the big,
your body build. It looks so weird to see him with that fucking chest and the sword and a backwards baseball cap on just kinda backwards, baseball right. Just like a little rain. Where is go back up? Does he really have one that almost looks like, but it's a bandana. It could be a bag. You can be like a hillbilly with a sword, who's really yoked, really, oh hillbillies, because even we still down, he was still massive. Yeah, even when he like, got smaller, but if you go back to his bodybuilding days when he was Mister Olympia, please shit. He in my opinion, out of all like the body builders styles like there's a bunch of different styles like now guys are just massive shredded yeah, well that why is the guy on the left? Is fucks his name, multiple time, Mister Olympia, what the houses name, those legs, ill gross. What is his name? Goddamnit Jamie? Was it's a ride
moment. So that's not real Ronnie Coleman was many years later right. So that's comparison to the two of them. Oh, I see. Ok, seventy five to see if you leave it looks low back up again. It go back to this that image again. Please That's really amazing there yeah, but if you go back to that image, the one look at the difference in the legs. That's the real difference. Ronnie Coleman lives are massive. Their insane. They don't seem real, see. Arnolds seem ridiculous. The muscular as well but real, how does he wear shirts this? moment of either them their waists are narrow. Why would you wear clothes you're built, like that's one found this little grape smuggler's all day, so let everybody know what the fuck is up. He can't stay like that. Very long either? That's the other thing you have to realize when you're looking at these athletes share column athletes bodybuilders. I think there are a little bit different than an athlete Obviously, when their muscles get fired and they can't well yeah they're in
state of massive dehydration there. They can't maintain that very long. It's super dangerous, when guys get that that dehydrated, like that they hang on for very long. Have much, don't you know you're! You feel like really tired. All the time But that's how you get your skin really thin like a lot of those guys when they do that they're fucking exhausted while they're doing it, but they maintain a good face and flex just crazy what people do to their bodies like even then, like you look at that, which is big giant, but the guys are so much bigger today. But you see them there at muscle. What is that or something trap? Who's the guy to the left is that Franco Columbo 'cause guys about to lose. I thought it was some guy without a future. Well, there's a lot of those guys that did have a future. They just never had a future like him, but he just said crazy, ambitious mother, you know or herbers bit about him
Burr has a bit of a oh yeah, great man. That's right! That's where, after Bang is made now Do all these things they tell him can't come to America being bodybuilder, just some German, you came you're going to win. You won the biggest bodybuilder. Well, you can't. You want to be movie star. Now you can't be a movie star. It's come on your body, build you can, but you did it the hard enough you've done enough, but you're the biggest. We started the world all right. Well, that's now you stop. You can't run California It's not allowed your movie star body build another one cup, you you're doing it. I bet. Do you want to fuck a made, of course got the line? That's what brought him down. Yeah, a great man, great man. I think if they didn't have against it, a law against it because he was born in another country president. He would've president. I think he could be President now not now. Bullshit is too far removed from his family fun in new woman, new woman that really anchors am woman. Researcher shoes, religious mean she's, not
crazy about it, but the something about Jesus is teaching. So it's really starting to appeal to Arnold as he gets older in life and then boom connect without republican, big Jesus you'd have to get Jesus. Real real popular store gives you can get Jesus to just listen. Jesus said some cool shit. He just did it really did did some cool if, if it was a real guy, which is debatable lot of not a lot of evidence that there was a real guy wrote about him in Tom. What did they well? They write about dragons, anything about which is but demons now is now the one that tells you. If come you jerking off all the other one? I don't know. What do you think? I think it was real. I think they do have historical evidence from work for him. But not the powers, not the walking on water. You ever seen that movie, there's, admittedly talking a lot of shit. It's like, before the internet. You remember those videos of that Sensei who is like try to rush me and just
finger, he drives them back right and they'll. Five is clearly faked yeah before they were videos of that they would just did. I heard this guy can knock off any attacker with one finger, and I don't have tv either. So I don't know, what's real, that's what Jesus that just got big. Well, here's the thing His own stories about him. The idea geez coming back from the dead right, that was in the big one right now that was probably one of the biggest ones he did yeah and then- one days later and then what happens. He goes away. What happens yeah. I think he just got there like. Oh look. His body is not in here. He must have come back from the dead, couldn't be that hyenas at his body or anything yeah or somebody just hey bro. I want you to leave a body out in Billerica. Too bad he's alive again and then went to Heaven. So he came back to life once a Heaven Jamie. Do you know put him in a tomb the moroccan front. In three days later the rockers moved people. Someone saw him go up into Heaven, full body. Oh this line, bitch,
that some of the rock is where he went up to Heaven: Hussam those lesbians in that club. Hoover. They were there there. There account His totanes tribunals have too much power yeah. If you had a median tribunal to discover whether or not Jesus ever came back to life. I just think if you came back to life should probably stick around talk to people. Let him know that you did it. Look I'm so for real. You guys, crucified me not again. Bitch come at me this time, I'm going to use my magic, I'm here to fix you guys come on die for your sins, get together, bitches, Removing anything we know is not true from that. How do you not sure you don't know shit from what you know of let's say atheism? That's a guy got strung up for saying he was a Messiah which he wasn't the only one at a time thing is Messiah, he got strung up for it and he died and the followers had to keep hope alive and whatever they did, they did, but like if it was a real person and it's like yeah, he got he got killed like a lot of people. Well, it's
so hard, it's so hard to recount that boots and accurate way from things you've actually experienced. Yeah Now imagine the God out of it, those still but imagine those stories of whoever he was counted down. In in re, told by people. That barely remember the original version they weren't, even in the region, they added their own bullshit to it like people do the out of their own Space, the out of their own rules there at out of their own, the ending or sad, ending or consequences of said action. You know in Jesus, if you do not cover from their eyes to your your ankles, you shall be stoned to death in a diss honor killing people just add shit. Who knows what the original message was and who the fuck it was that came up with it. I've been to some really cool dude wanted everybody get along, and so they tried to kill this fucker 'cause he's talking shit imaginable. Romans came to town? They got their swords ready to kick some ass and this fucking hippie is zero
you're talking some stupid, no dude we're here to kill people, okay, which is going to nail you to this cross, like we do thousands of other people. As a matter of fact they had what was the the story that there's a store play in history on fire that day, Ellie Bolelli talks about where the Romans they put the miles and miles of that defied bodies on this road. I can get microns dude, it's horrific when he recounts it. It's a real thick and they did that. So what what are the about doing this to one other do now. Well, they were the worst villains were the So, if you were in the town and this one cool guy, once everybody get along like now Cloud Jesus is here, he's talking sense. You know we really should listen to I'm like. Why are we being assholes? We really do need to appreciate. Are are our surroundings and love each other like brothers and sisters, oh shit, dude, the Romans look over the hill fuck and you look over there. Did you see Dustin whore
This is thousands of am coming forth and this dude's going to step up and try to lay down your ground chop, his fucking, Dick off and stuff it up his nose there monsters! That's why I love game of thrones. They don't fuck around there not like they were just like this is how would be a bunch of loose cannons? Yeah. You know an oversight die. No cell phones reason why take the chance sorts to die by the sword. Heads and fucking arms get lopped off. Why I've always hated the crossbow takes too long to reload to bullshit weapon. It really is cry. Most reported Avenger get a fucking bowl folks, seriously, Auriel Bow and arrow. Does it make you mad walking dead, makes you mad the walking dead. This is one of the coolest. How does that fuckin arrow not get a pass through he's shooting, on in the bodies shooting women. This right. It always sticks and pulls it right out. Listen,
I ruined three or four hours a week aweek this guy has been there's finding new Aeros yeah. I shoot a lot of arrows, and sometimes when I'm practicing with New Georgia new releases and practicing a new archery releases Sometimes I hit rocks and break spray, I'm not big! rating, the amount there had a lock on purpose, but is a like a picture. It just destroys the arrow arrows going too fast to shatter explodes, but my point being like this guy is the same God. Damn arrows like where these arrows are on dude you shot. One hundred zombies don't have any more arrows you just don't you're not going to pull them out and they're going to be perfect. First, you have field point. It's not bullshit anyway, you don't have broadheads. I can't make anything I'm going to put a little pinhole in it, but lady just get through the brain. Please shoot him in the head and it just sticks right in there magically and he pulls it right out like what are their heads made of yeah. I know the Where did it when they eat what happens to the food? They don't think their bodies, don't still work and process stuff. You can work just as a way better off with a regular, bow and arrow because uh,
We're bowing arrow, like you can make your own bow and arrow that be better than that stupid, fucking crossbow! You want something you can just load up like that shooting you can shoot several times that stupid thing you gotta grab it. You gotta, pull it people just like it 'cause. It looks like Chewbacca's gun in star wars. It's some old school e shit, like you, think of that's even better than apolinario bone hours way better than crossbow. Unless your pussy, you don't want to learn how to shoot, Oh and arrow. They said they should have it by walking dead with their actual bow and arrow. Have those guys butt heads. I mean it's not a bad weapon if you want to kill something like if you want to use it if you're in a dear bye- find and you're trying to kill a deer, and you want to show someone to do it with a crossbow. It's a great weapon for that 'cause. It's really easy to do in Sebastian's bit about bow and arrow. No he's got a good bit. Only then did not say don't settle and I we are recorded together, really, okay. So now it's a lot of his act out there. So good isn't: where is he isn't such a good due to
cool, see in a crowd like? Can you go? Look it up? Okay, there I want to play it. It is yeah I'll find it later, but the for for folks listening, go, go, go check it out! but I mean like most people, don't actually have a bow and arrow. So if anyone would like this bit is being you yeah he's fucking funny man, and he's a really nice guy to russian school he's. One of those guys were everybody. Like some I've, never heard anybody doesn't like Sebastian. You know one person or something like Sebastian ever know. Now his wife school too yeah very artist, yeah This is just a bit he's, also a guy that like really worked hard that guy he has a man, he made it happen for himself. He kept getting better the waveguide today. That was his catch phrase. He couldn't do it without doing that. He came in and did a podcast and he was fucking. Hilarious.
Colors is really so, like particular yeah, yeah, very particular like what's going on with your fingernails. It looks, and it just bothers me- is what is this? What is this paint? Your fingernails he's another guy. That has like a very specific style is clean, dice up. Think about it. Now I don't know I think about it. Now I got him, I'm gonna say no, I know or maybe somebody just crowd work. We just crowd is that everything is he lifts everybody up instead of insurance gross? It goes sure it's amazing, get away with that shirt. Look at how gorgeous this guy there's. All your teeth, fixed beautiful he, the op Is it end of it and just get get the funny out of just being positive that we're just saying that's in that sense, maybe yeah. Maybe in that sense, which is the exact the exact opposite of
I used to love about watching dies in the or just heard late night. Be a guy look at you. Look at you. The last piece of pussy you saw is the last piece of pussy over Africa. Trust me: it's over trust made silver. He would have a cigarette itself for who's gonna fuck, you just kind of fuck. Let's be honest, she shits on you but leave doing who's. Gonna fuck you you're, going to pay for it and you're going to be sad. You're going to fall in love with the hook want to bring him into your life and save any wild. All the time she's getting cock when you not look, and he would just go and deposit word bud, but it was fun like was theater. It was theater, it didn't seem real right now. No, no! No! It's theater like it's a character, that's doing this mean activates when you act like yourself on stage. People feel way more like talk to. How are you
but when it's complete, Aurora movie, where it's like? This is all definitely not true, so it's ok just seems more. Like reality, I think that's why people get mad or more stand up. Look K2! we're here. Oh so good, yeah she runbow Idine fuck. Would you think of him loved yeah? I saw the exhibit in Melbourne exhibit all terrain was wrong. Yeah. I just the way he dealt with like live performance and like getting customers like in the world's best customers. What I got to talk to you yeah the new, just like here's. What I'm kind of doing now wants to design something with me. I forgive him for dance in the street, the send in the street with him and Mick Jagger Chicago, forgive them. I forgive them for. Arguably, most confusing sexually at least two young man? I'm not what is happening is always are there like ways? I can, but I mean Mick Jagger was like what is this message you're confusing the out of me. I don't know what you
guys are doing. I want to know, are you guys, platonic friends, just start dancing for some strange reason or it seems like you're full meeting with each other like I need to know I need to because they do that, all the time well, Mick, Jagger's Ex wife, got mean said she found David Bowie in bed with Mick Jagger. So she told everybody that's where, when you're, a guy like David, Bowie or Mick, Jagger becomes really problematic being married to some normal person, because she get this amazing story. So what if they want to get together and figure out whether or not there was like oh yeah, I fuck, all sorts of stuff like let's see this is shot, let's see what the fuck happens, and meanwhile this women that Mick Jagger supposedly had some sort of a contract with where they're not supposed to have sex with the people. She got all upset and sheep fuck put some on blast all over the world, probably put in a book or something how rude to each other privileged information map? That's not like regular people. That's not like Bob
you know the guy who fixes bikes at the bike shop and TIM who's, the ups driver who has friendly conversation with Bob and the government to them fucking in the men's room. It's not. This is a bigger deal. This is all this is going to affect the record companies is going to affect venues going to affect the people that sell tickets there out of jobs attached to these two people and you just being rude because you're a petty cunt. What do you care? What do you care? Look at the way he's dressed? Of course he fucks guys Jesus Christ Shocker to you doesn't make it any less. Awesome makes more awesome these guys are awesome behind you. There. He imagined you and I did a music video, we're doing this. Doing. How long do you think we could do this is used in this, for the Dunkin couldn't kiss each other for more than two seconds for a hilarious thing out of paper view event? How My biggest regret is that is pulling away and and laughing when I should just I didn't realize I thought the cameras teaching Gilmanton yeah, give him a little. Did you what did give it back? You think I don't like Duncan, but did you give it back? Did you guys tongue? We were locked
I thought you guys were like just just lips. I didn't know you went tongues going to sell it to you sold change code, seem warm or cold or what is he? What is he 'cause? It seems like they're, both in different climates. Like David Bowie seems like he's in a rainy London sort of Climate but Mick Jagger, when the council is in the Florida keys, he's having a good old time, he's like listen to Jimmy Buffett, music or some shit. Sixty eight at night, blue, pants It's going up to my what's that about why they freeze frame on that. But does that did you do that Jamie or is that the actual video? That's how it ends? That's unfortunate, yeah or or fortunate, depending on what you're really into? No, no, no nude ground control to Major Tom Command man, that's like the guitar stardust character and he was all coked up his coke spoons as part of the exhibit his all of his coke spoons didn't hear anything. Did they really, so in his coke rage or whatever he was in he goes. This is
famous thing goes not only as you guys been wonderful audience, and not only this is the last Ziggy Stardust show of the tour. But it is also in the band has no idea what he's talking about what he's going to say, because this is also the last Ziggy Stardust show of all time. And then he played his last song gets off and the bands equipped we're done. That's how you're telling us we're fucking done holy shit, that sucks for the band yeah and then he went and started just being David Bowie wow, Yeah this character was huge and they're like. What are you doing? Don't stop and go fuck this I'm gonna artist, I'm developing my going to stuck with that money maker forever wow. Well, he was he was just. He had some fucking really amazing songs, amazing song, and they were so original yeah, but his live performance. They showed him on top of the pops. Just like androgynous shit on like a late night, talk show not late in personal letters like a mainstream thing and they just like almost half kissing this guy and people would wait what the fuck was that
at what did? I just see yeah and the music was so unique. You know his style was, it was just it was very specific. You know it was very good David Bowie yeah, oh my god, what a great song is and what a great song yeah, he was awesome and it wasn't like. Okay, where Michael Jackson died. Everyone Michael Jackson, fan everybody right when he died. It was sad whatever, but he wasn't still making music and stuff you know. So it was like. Oh it's too bad he passed, but it was then or thirty years later we weren't going to miss out on anything David Bowie released, Album last Tuesday, literally yeah, it's just getting. The first hit is just on the radio right now he still has stuff that's being land for radio releases in the next. You know like there was a rollout scheduled fucking cancer man. He did a lot of stuff allegedly.
Yeah? It's a bummer man Did you see the Sean Penn thing Song Sean Penn when child Chapo Sean Penn, I've, Compl change my opinion about him. What I think is a blowhard when he did that Chris Rock thing, I was very critical of them yeah, because the the Chris Rock made a joke he's doing his monologue and made a joke about Jude LAW and Sean Penn comes out and goes well. The reason researchers are great. I come you know, so I I goofed on him, but that guy went to Mexico to the jungle, to meet L, chop, an interview and write about it for rolling stone, wow just, be a journalist dude. He has everything to lose, he's got a family he's got children he's got money, he's got fame, he's got every, and he has no reason to want to do this and he decides to do it. He decides and people who didn't go to people are criticizing him and it's really bizarre way. First of all, they said
but one of these guys said I read this tweet about it. Were you saying, I wonder how Sean Penn feels about real journalists being killed? You know, narcos have killed journalists that report on them. Well, guess what he's risking his life, like you, don't think they would think. Would funny to kill Sean Penn if somehow another Sean Penn had irritated EL and Lt well decided to have him killed, must have no risk of that. This guy doesn't care El Chapo get out and tunnels. I heard he was hiding out Justin Martindale's asshole. I don't think Justin Martindale's assholes that little No I'm saying that's the series of tunnels are dying and if you looked in there you know I mean that big so we interviewed El Chapo, that's cool. He was Afghanistan during the beginning, the war two right or Iraq, one of those two. International street. I don't know,
sure about that, I didn't. I wasn't aware of that, but what he did with L Troppo was. He got in touch with some mexican actress who knows El Chapo, she's, probably get old samples of traveling sign of hunger, and I say, and El Chapo arranged a meeting and they had like specific conditions like he had to read the story before it's published, which they've never granted before with rolling stones. They don't do that and they agreed to it, because it's just like such a crisis illegally, I'm not going to not only then it's Sean Penn's interview mail all these journalists are mad and like what the Sean Penn possible for the fact that El Chapo's killed other people like you shouldn't, be sitting down and talk. You don't want to see a conversation that you enjoy and his killer guy yeah. He is being a jerk, the killer, vocals and beyond. What would we get we get with Manson? What is is caddy shit like real journalists like don't say that, like that guy, that's a crazy risk undeniably crazy risk. Just for any ready to shit on it like to say that he
We have done that, like he's not going to keep people alive by not going there he's an in fact, they believe that the paper trail or the electronic trail of them setting this up is probably what led to them capturing El Chapo in the first place, which they just did the Again, they did again yes cheapskate, and then he just account. They only caught him like two days ago and they caught him like right, as this story is coming in which class of Americans dislike fucking rolling, stone, setup file chapel to make their stories so even better Jamie. So are you thinking No. I can't believe you're saying that I don't. I don't know why you would say that, because I don't think the world works. That way just got jamies like conspiracy, they saw the extradition stuff yeah. They want to the United States going to give Mexico. A bunch of why, because he basically there's drugs that come here because yeah I sold drugs in America. So we get to pull them of the country of jurisdiction because they can't keep that fucker locked up. We can keep him locked up.
They like a lot. Can you guys help us with that? Withholding this joker? He fucking escape twice we're done with this. Let's stop! I just I've completely changed my opinion on Sean Penn, where you on p yeah. I know it the interview in October. It was not until October. Yes, just coming out now rate, which might be added two year and might be added to wire. Why would rulings and release it now? Conspiracy, member of the Illuminati controls all of the media, to thinking in trouble for the for doing this at all Sean Penn, yeah yeah for sure yeah, look man! He he just got a story with one of the biggest drug dealers or the art. Apparently the biggest drug dealer, if he's to be believed ever that's ever lived on the other at ever lived allegedly allegedly on man. I mean, of course you can get in trouble. For that. That's a dangerous move like any.
And it says that with Sean Penn did didn't take. Any courage is crazy in anybody like. Why criticize it just get it what it is. Would he got it? He had a conversation with a known gangster of incredible reputation and that's what that guy is he's unknown gangster of incredible reputation and Sean Penn met him in the jungle in Mexico. You don't think that's a ball he moved like one of the ballsiest moves that a person can do as a journalist what, but what Cha and in danger, but to do it as a movie star, a guys won oscars at least an Oscar rise. One offerings look he's a bad mother. I retired a recent might this is a very big of you. I heard that
if I just obviously conspiracy thing, but I heard that the mexican government might have little chapel out to get the cartels and gangs under control, because once they arrested him vacuum, there was a vacuum, and now that he was out, he got everything wrapped up now that pulled back in, which is why it's been arrested again. Jamies with conspiracies over here this on the radio today, how dare you day repeat these? Probably who the fuck knows, I don't think they let him out. I think I think somebody paid a shit load of money to I have so many Dekha tunnel and I don't think they do a good job of watching their prison. That's mostly or probably, there's probably some people in on it probably got paid to definitely right. That's why that's why they want to keep him here in the good old us right? We gotta block down or we're done with this shit, I'm going to take him down to Qua Niko put him down that fucking in place. We got there and the bottom of the Denver Airport, that's where he is Denver Airport prison flights. They always talk about. I want to see that place,
add something. So I'm pretty sure it's bullshit yeah, it's probably a jail down there. I think of sorts have a jail, wow yeah it doesn't Fenway park of a jail too. I might have made that I don't know. I can see that, but yeah so I'll chapel GO and Sean Penn, pretty cool, then he went down there and fucking. It's not the best story. Writing with little work little will. Find points, but you still say it's wrong permitted to go like he's one of our final sectors, what he did was just unnecessary and he just trying to stand up for God it. He has respect for his craft, who doesn't get comedy right, but it's his craft. He does. To be who he is to be able to Harvey Milk and all to be able to do the fast times at Ridgemont, high and the irish MOB guy in the keys obviously knows how to get into his work. He doesn't do a shit job. Like he's not doing an american sniper right If you ever seen a movie where he plays it, where it seems like he's just found in like like
moments, you saw american sniper. You like this is not real. You know, you don't see. Sean Penn in those movies in that like the scene with you criticizing the Bradley Cooper Scene, where the girl from was bang another guy and it just seems all fake. Could you imagine Sean Penn in that saying? No, of course you can, it would be He would figure out how to make it more. We set up brother, he would figure how to make it more real or he wouldn't be doing it like an artist. His quality of work is definitely to be respected, like there's a few guys like that that have that Daniel Day Lewis, you know him Russell Crowe, there's like there's a few people that have this ability like transform into Mariel Hemingway Russell Crowe stuff. Although he's fade Dunaway Faye Dunaway like in the beginning, when you ever watched against the original stoner, that's the original rendition of a stoner fastenal, like everyone else, is doing an impression of that now. Wasted already beats Disney girl gets his head. That was my head.
Did you Arsh, Geraci, Chinatown, Faye Dunaway, I don't know, could lower Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway in Chinatown Holy Shit, yeah, there's there's some fucking people. You know who's at broad. That's in all the Coen Brothers movies. She's really awesome, She was in Fargo she's amazing, oh yeah, yeah yeah, he's already out with the accent goddamnit shoes in the movie. Far She's, been in everything yeah she's, this movie Fargo Frances Mcdormand, yes, she's she's, one of those people that become debates. I don't I don't care. That I know who it is and she's so good like you lose yourself yeah. If I go to see a movie and I'm like- oh that's that guy how that guy get to play that guy. If it doesn't make anything like how is wait a minute, you know Seth Rogan, Steve Wozniak, no he's not Seth Rogen like what's going on here. Now he's playing. Somebody is not that Seth Rogan's, not good, but you know what I mean like. I know who he is but she's, so God I'm good! You don't care who she is. You don't care that it's Frances
Dorman when she's playing a role you bossed hook line and sinker you're locked up in it, which is way hard to do. You know it's way harder to do when you don't know who the person is like an axe Makina, they know any is people were so is perfect. It just slipped right in, but if one of those people have been Tom Cruise, everyone was Nicole. Kidman had Billy come on like this. I know who you are fucker, hard to see one of your friends book. Anything and the movie you see like the S or or anybody you know is you know, mother by the color yeah just real hard to get lost in it yeah you know them both plus it's not fun to get lost in it. It's fun that's! What's fun, yeah fear, Are you enjoying your new found success? Yeah man great? I get a little worried about certain things: keep track of
travel all over the world of travel, all the world's real funny. I'm trying to do. I am and realized. I made a promise of more see Paul Morrissey. A few years ago we were and Denmark some comedy festival. No excuse me we're in Montrose, with one person come with us will well and then went to Amsterdam afterwards and just for fun, and we were like: let's two new countries every year, wow just a visitor to work whatever either one yeah not really one of the things I like to do in another country to see what it's like to do comedy there. You should do a want island addition in Thailand. How many shows just wanted bang cock? How was it fun as shit wow, that a lot more thai people were there than in China. China was all expats, maybe one chinese person, Hong Kong has a mix, but like Thailand, they speak some english dude. So I might do it. India, this year, yeah,
English in India that someone you get your foot computer, forgetting this a strong India in India. Everybody speaks English, so they don't have to they do it for not just expressed by the way. If you have an American Express issue, you're talking to someone in India, progress found that out and if we may wonder so, they renamed them. My name is Fred. I am here Take your order, but it's a problem with your phone card. What is this an American Express that is, Dan racists of just like he was saying the c most sword. This is more racist, your appropriating an accent, no, it's racist, for they remain those people. That's racist, yeah, yeah! Clearly they don't think american them. It doesn't seem. A bit on that. Someone has a bit. I had a bit I used to have a bit about it. Was it you yeah you know, Eddie Bravo had a real problem with those people, one point in time and you Ed Bravo is a real trickster he's hilarious. Like Eddie, I have ordered like the person in medication and you
his cell phone as the phone number you know like when you get a prescription like what number do you leave? He left his cell phone. So somehow or another that got this is like in the early too thousands and somehow another that got sold as a list. You know how that happens, find out like this guy buys prescription drugs or this guy by solar panels on the subject, for whatever reason you get a list, the that was like a big issue with people. They would sell your information, so he started getting all these phone calls from pharmacies and those people that barely spoking, and they're trying to sell him prescription drugs 'cause. This was during the day like where there was a kind of a wild West period. We buy all your drugs from Canada and overseas and they would ship them, and so you could get things without a prescription like really heavy stuff without a prescription, and so Eddie would keep these people on the phone. For ever I mean forever. He would have these conversations with them
and pretend that, like some noise is going on in the background- and he would talk to him and say what do you have that I can you or hold on I'll be right back. I have to clean my feet and then he go, and I put the phone down for like five minutes and go take a leak. He would get something to drink and then come back to it and then start talking to them about what different drugs. Like I text, what do you have that gets your dick Do anything to get your dick hard and, like you, have these like crazy conversations with these people and they would go on forever man he would be laughed and he would hold the phone up to his chest and he loves playing tricks that on people, especially like he felt he had the green light 'cause their contact him. I also he was right on it for ever beginning up to lose your curse exactly so he was dragging on for ever and he would go to like give the an address to send it to our credit card number. But then he would have some ridiculous excuse. You had to put the phone down and put the phone down for like ten minutes and then go back to it and pick it up doing it
second? I need to deal with us I'd, never like crazy, fake arguments. You know like in the background hold the phone down and fucking scream and yell, and then you know say he's about to get raped and people police and booty record am now. It was just for fun, just for the art of it. He would do it for, like I'm telling you man, he did a bunch of sort of. Remember those remember to remember those yeah. He would get excited when the phone would ring hello. So what is this truck? Just so glad you guys called me yeah. They just don't have that kind of patience I don't have that mind. Either you gotta be bored, you should be bored, you gotta be crazy in a different way. He loves doing that, though he just get such a kick out of doing that or it did I'm sure now is too busy, but hilarious yeah. They don't do that anymore. Do that you know that all the call he was supposed to not have your cell phone like what else was coming cellphone ever that was like a law change match of the day.
Didn't good. Lord. I think it only came from when people didn't have unlimited phone calls: ok, you're using up peoples fucking time and money that sack a good argument to keep it the way it is now they can like what ' 'cause. If it's free, if you get all the minutes the world all the time, then people are free to contact you for no reason, even fax machines. As soon as we have facts with. Within Avalon. It was spam spam. Just like a sending you some an ad when you call someone the fax machine answer: huh the you mother, Fucker arch fear we're out of time. We gotta wrap this bitch up, kept some dates or something Do you just ran your our special or you ran for my new, our yeah in the belly room yeah. I walked in for a little bit. So with cell phone, but it was hilarious on the ex- is going well thanks. So what
when you ready to do another one. I'm getting I mean I'm doing a hour on the road. Now is pretty solid, like I don't feel like. I'm, the crowds not getting see well good show unless I ding when I want to do it, I think I have to hold off till October 'cause I'm going to do it in Edinburgh in Edinburgh for a month say it right, though don't say: burn Bro get mad Edinburgh, like you, fucker you funding from here steering. So I don't waste that time run on them where am I going to run it twenty five times in the UK? I want to make it stronger. Yeah will definitely adapt you to that environment. You get roof like with what audiences are like in different countries in there for a few days special in my last post, I ran in ten countries while yeah yeah- I, like you, know, get it to everybody in works everywhere. Smart move, man, it's smart 'cause it! You know, you know how
in one town they'll develop a style suitable to one town. We started on third throught yeah. It might not work in Chicago that, like what the fuck is third street, I know what you're talking about. I haven't been out apartment brokers in New York and it's like I've, got to make it work outside of New York. Yeah, it's hard regional materials hard, but anyway, Every two weeks I can do my story tell show at the belly room. 19Th is the next one and then, whatever two weeks after that, but I've got Irvine. I'm doing my hour but I'll be in Denver, are really great dot com, arethegreat dot com for tickets. Orange Feardotcom in Denver with some on the 28th like thirty or thirty for comedy works at the comedy without greatest club on the planet, earth or one of them Indianapolis Tempe. Everything is great everything that are the great dot com. Are we
be the mother, fucking, great dot com and if you like, sports check out the sports podcasts do with SAM Tripoli and Jason Tivo called punch, drunk sports. Oh that's! Right, lazy, John. We have Nate, Diaz and Nick Diaz, calling all the time how about the sketch ESP Skeptic tank, your podcast skeptic tanks, right so the good ones, gotta fucking podcast to this week's coming out later. Today, I guess, is the art, fair interview by Danish. No Neil good googly moogly, ladies and gentlemen? Alright, that's it doesn't do it. I do I listen to podcasts all time. That's cool goodnight! You fucks! We love! You turn off bye, bye thanks, everybody that was fun. Podcast right, isn't the shit. I love my pocket, like I love all kinds of CASS, interesting people, new gas, but there's something like really cool about podcast, with guys like Segura and ARI, that I've known forever. This make him all the more fun Joe Duncan thanks to sponsors thanks to square space, go to squarespace dot com use the offer code, Joe and you'll get ten percent off your first purchase square space, dot com,
code, Joe Thanks also to Legalzoom, take care of legal shit online. Ladies and gentlemen, go there and you the code, Word Rogan at checkout for a disc out. I'm not saying that anymore 'cause, I don't like it. I don't like the way it sounds bored with my mouth, so I'm making different noises thanks to uh, Nick dot com go to Onn, it use the code, Word Rogan and save ten percent off any and all sup, it's an thanks. Two caveman coffee go to cavemancoffeeco dot com. You fucking savage, alright! Folks! Thank you. Everybody thanks for tuning into the podcast, and we will be back to Morrow Goodbye.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-05.