« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #110 - Duncan Trussell, Brian Redban

2011-06-02 | 🔗
Duncan Trussell, Brian Redban. Date Recorded: 06-01-2011
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hi everybody the joe rogan experience podcast is brought to you by the flesh light if you go to joerogan dot net and click on the link for flashlight to enter in the code name rogan you will get fifteen percent off the number one sex toy for men and it's number one 'cause it's awesome it fills wicked good on your penis with that said my pal duncan trussell's here buckle up bitches get we go better late than never the general can experience my girls with such a long absence of two weeks off the podcast ladies and gentlemen you are jones and i was jones and we had to bring you back the three most pertinent guests in the same week jody's arisha fear and then finally duncan trussell my favorite buddy
i'm psyched to have your for a whole bunch of reasons because there's a bunch and now the that's been going down that we must discuss right did you hear about the quark gluon particle that the large hadron collider has created no this is fantastic stuff we talked about it yesterday or monday or yesterday yesterday one sugar cube of this shit weighs forty billion pounds it's more or dense than a neutron star it the singer single dense is piece of matter that that theoretically is physically possible and they created what they created it and happen exactly as it goes through the ground in a fucking who knows you have amara you drop the marble in the ground it shoots right through china to comes out an exit wound like kennedy's head and then it goes back down and it's like a
stop thinking no no no no i gravity right i mean comes up and down through the earth the earth i think i don't know what the does i think i heard something not about this but the possibility of this and how that could be one of the possible extinction events is that it sets off a chain reaction and socks everything into it khan well if you think about the idea of that this this quark gluon thing the idea that they can create this you know this is the bottom line about all that is it's never gonna stop right there no way they're gonna keep going and if they can create so thing that's this heavy what if they create enough of it where it really is like something that goes through the fucking earth if you had something that was so heavy that it would like you drop it and it would just shoot down through the earth where would it stop it would it would it i don't know i mean if it's so heavy that it's smashes rock and it then hits the core would
happens that is the core melted does it melt it maybe it gets melted in the core it makes a volcano yeah what did you make a new volcano i mean does it matter how big this quark gluon yeah we're talking probably a tiny tiny thing yeah it's nothing like a micro media or something yeah it's it's the the crazy thing is these guys that are doing the stuff they all know that this is crazy and they're joking around about it so there's some photos now of them playing half life if you just look up large hadron colliders guys get the the ads deal with half life street theater there's them he's gotta the orange safety helmet on just like the half life character with a crowbar and the other guys got like a headcrab on if in it i just there is a layer is they know what the they're doing i mean i guess they just you just have to keep doing it but that they're aware of it and
all the while there's this wall this all comes out this is cosmologists have reckoned all this a seemingly impossible contradiction the contradiction of the superposition contradiction you know the super position is that something can exist and not exist at the same time yeah and these two different there's there's of the multiverse theory and there's the may the world's theory and apparently they've figured out some way to reconcile these two theories it's so hard to understand it's like it's so difficult to wrap my brain around you know i'm just not really smart enough or have enough experience with this kind of shit but you know the observability of the universe it's like it's when you get down to like quantum particles and get down to you know a subatomic particles it gets really weird it's it's hard to understand how this could be real
that something can appear and disappear and no one knows where it went and they can also appear in both in two different positions at the same time and it's the same particle they're also something where apparently the you're the act your expectation of the thing i'm out in packs it yeah the viewer they don't understand that either you know there's there's i do it's really hard for me to explain it without butchering it but you can look up dr quantum you know there's some some videos of it online where it's explained in cartoons for complete like you and i yes and it's basically they you know they should these particles and there's a different reaction when people are watching then when people aren't watching right you know and the idea that something is in in a superposition basically means it could be in motion and it can be still at the same time it's like then the weather describe it is that you could slide
you cannot see a dead cat in a live cat that are the same cat at the same time you know and the idea that a lot of people believe is that every single possibility happens for every single day like say you open up a door for every fucking possible thing happens once you open up that door infinite possibilities but not to you too you one thing men's and you live in this one dimension and in this one dimension this one thing happens and for everyone else you know or all these other use that exist in
an infinite number of different universes you don't experience that but it happens that's why goals are so important because when you have a goal your settings and something in the future which is if you think about things in the way you just described it what you're really thinking about is in this great array of possibilities in the future there's one node that contains within it all the different possibilities that involve whatever your goal happens to be and so the goal becomes literally a kind of compass its guiding you toward this place and temporal spatiality where these things that you want to have happen happen that's what everybody says if you want to be successful have a goal in you know when i want before i knew about this i used to think that meant yes because it will give me the discipline and the motivation to work towards what i want
meta physically you may actually be sort of guiding the ship of your life towards this temporal possibility and then getting the things that you want it's a lot of that right in but there's also the problem of the cynic in the cynic point of view which you know penn and teller big cynics and apple should sure and i really like penn jillette he's a very fine guy and one of the things that he really nailed is all these assholes that pitch the secret you trying to tell people with horrible terminal diseases that it's their fault like shit is ridiculous because it is not absolute it does not work in all circumstances and little babies are not responsible for getting hit by bullets and drive bys 'cause that shit does happen so it is not it's not clean
you know i'm saying no it's not clean but if you want to get really weird if you if we're talking about this idea that your your perception and faith guide you into the different all the different universes that exist then penn and teller there such skeptical assholes that maybe they've guided themselves into a universe of app flip boring bullshit those guys just want to live in a world of like you know what's it called newtonian physics where everything comes from an accident and all that stuff it's the religion that the religion of the day so you're you're saying is that because they refused to believe in any psychic phenomenon they've refused to believe in anything be are woo that there live in a limited world up tell us you know my mom got bone cancer my mom went to a faith healer my my mom in her bone cancer is not like almost gone you tell me did the faith he will do it with her faith that did it it's bone cancer master ties by
as cancer into our bones her tumor markers that's how they measure bone cancer less than when she went in and got the original diagnosis so it's reversing it's going backwards now she went to a faith healer i'm not a liar i don't you know what i mean i'm not i'm not making this shit up do i think it could be other things sure it's probably a combination of everything but on medication as well yeah she what she was he was in she to cut sugar out and there's a lot of different things that she did but one component of it was this event that she went to now do i believe in faith healers not no i don't but i do believe that if somebody can create the illusion in the mind of a person some kind of it to give them the faith to believe that they can heal themselves then maybe that works the mind controls that i mean think about it your body
is when cancer happens in your dna starts fucking up that's part of your body that's you your cells are you your neurons are you it's all you to think that you can't control that they think that some deeper part of you can't control that it's crazy of course you could is it that or is it that this faith healer puts her on this incredibly positive vibration and because of the fact that he thinks that this woman was a woman but she thinks she was a woman or as a man my mom they they feel it was a problem i was saying i never checked you don't the faith hill was a man or a woman they dealers of man and his name is john of god maybe your mom because the fact that she so believes and so needs this to happen she those and maybe all the sudden she has this incredible feeling of positive expectations anne doom and gloom and that's enough to turn
things around that's it that's right this is also on medication to your mother now it's you have to the idea is it's like you're not medication you know i don't know bone merrow thriller away no no that's not what you want don't come back here oops yeah you're not just your mind you're not just your body right so it's like i think you have to address like problem with will you are just your mind and your body but it's all one unit you know i mean you are you want to address all connected to each piece you know each piece of the puzzle like give your mind something to work on your mind is dealing with the horror of riding around in a car that's breaking down and will soon turn into warm food that sucks when you have a western doctor being like well you know statistically which the doctor did say to my mom she had six months to live and that was like over a year ago the doctor
when your when your mind here's that it's not like you know what i'm going to really start healing now you're just like fuck i'm dead meat i'm about to go on to infinity and so then there like we understand that you're feeling depression so we're going to prescribe some antidepressants to you to help you deal with the sorrow of your own death guys now your fucking with your brain and the wrong way you're messing it up with anti depressants that would they do when people are diagnosed terminal cancer they give him anti depressants xanax called down the anxiety we're just going to relax you and do infinity oh that sounds like a good move though if you're fucked up on
your own cancer yeah you know if it's a wrap it's a wrap right and it's gonna be a rap eventually for all that's that would be better to go out no that's not a problem and especially with it the problem with cancer as that we've heard so much stuff about it that you hear you know the cancer diagnosis for a lot of people are like i'm dead right but one of the other things that my mom did there's some great books out there that are basically say there are cancer loves sugar means so if you're drinking a lot of sugar sugary staff then the tumors will grow faster and so somehow cancer doesn't do that well in an acidic environment so if you start drinking we now on alkaline alkaline yeah so it's something like drinking lemon juice and all this stuff ebay healthy for a lot of greens a lot of yeah well that's barely what's best for the body where are bodies mean the pay leo diet is one that's really popular right now the id
is that you know during the caveman days where they eat they vegetables that were edible and they eat me yeah you know and that's really what you're supposed to be eating you're not supposed to be any pastas are grains or anything funky anything that who created in the no soups gluten yeah you're supposed the pasta an i mean you're supposed to eat meat ingrain or meat and vegetables no pasta no grains nothing human created and just think of yourself as like you know a person living in that era you know really that's the healthiest way to live man you know the healthiest way to live is you get a lot of vegetables a lot of like broccoli and anything like you know with fiber that's going to clean out your colon vitamins you know brock lesnar how to go in for colon surgery he had diver diverticulitis that you get from
too much meat it's a disease that you get from literally not having vegetables and it's a terrible one where your guts rot out it's really scary shit man can i tell you guys something that's really embarrassing that has to do with intestines this sounds so stupid and someone sent me this video is a joke which is this guy showing how to shit what yeah western i was using one of those platforms that you put over the toilet feed up on this platform healthy weight i adopted this technique and i have to tell you i am shitting like a ten year old it's the crazy fucking thing ever and is that even mean shit having problems getting before were you having problems shooting before
no not having problems shifting but it's like you know like people americans will sit on the toilet and read write i'm going to read a book it's like shitting is not supposed to take that long look at your dog how long does it take your dog to shit if your dog takes longer than like a minute to shit your automatic like oh somethings wrong with something's wrong with me right you should eat dog food that's exactly and that's why you're a scientist because no man i the problem is is like with joy though it's more of a i enjoy the whole process i could teach scored it out real quick if i wanted to do i enjoy feeling good having turds yeah you don't we're taking a nice shit do you love it i love it tim my most favorite activities when i eat a lot of lettuce and it just comes on sure yeah but it's not something i look forward to i like the little plop splash at pops back and like give you a little kiss on your butt hole from little piece of water
i look forward to it like when you come home your entered into the door if you like i am going to take a giant right now you don't look forward to that well now of course i mean i wouldn't looking forward to it it's like a we are like i yeah i look forward to the walking dead the second season coming out that's for you look forward to a show i not mean yeah okay fine i look forward to but it's not it doesn't take up my time yeah i'm not listening to love songs on my radio embarrassed about potty over there i know how many times a day do you shit i should once a day alright wow that says it see you're not enjoying pooping this crazy fucking african africa to change your diet you're supposed to shit twice a day i should three times today yeah if you eat a lot more you're supposed to first of all you're supposed to eat several mills in the notes will see just one or two males that right yeah you want to be lean and healthy and have a lot of energy the key is in not having your body across the state of georgia
so your body only digesting minimal amounts not some big fucking gore jing meal that just read your whole system well if you do that what's that stuff going to do it's going to sit inside you and wait for the one big evacuation event at the end of the night no it's kind of shit of the day it's going to be done wait while we should out who it's for cost so
have you because of your mom situation if you change your diet any of you started getting like conscious about which you out you know not because my mom situation weirdly but i did start taking vitamins in and i've started taking this stuff called ian mean and laura which lowers the are there's a chemical in your body associated with stress it gets released by your adrenal gland and it has some apparently lowers the amount of that stuff in your body which are called out one of the pills is called the any and i guess the indian t h e h yeah the indian and other stuff is called for a laura in ones like this it's one of them is like more relaxing than the other you take it at night
and the other one is just a it like i don't know if you'd call it a no tropic new tropic how do you say it yeah new tropas sob and sentiment that it does say on the thing you know helps focus and i have to agree it really does is we to try this neutral perform on that we we've come out with we're we're finalizing it and they just finished a formula that this guy chris market so you try and even try it i'm done with my supply this shit gives you the most fucked up vivid dreams ever i would say going to get you some last here's my dream my the house that i grew up in arnold schwarzenegger lives in it but it's not the house i grew up in it some weird house that's on the rocks right in front of water that apparent he is semi public so arms what's in anger is living there now and he's like swimming around and but all these people are staring at 'em because of him the situation and because you know this scandal but he doesn't give a fuck
only not give a fuck but he's in really good shape now in my dream and he keeps wanting to pull his balls out and now he pulled his balls out but he puts his little bikini underwear on like you know like a frenchman wearing look and he pulls is ball somehow another through the back of his under here and there where his ass cheeks are in their giant these giant balls that he has hanging outside of his underwear but by his asshole somehow or another that big an you know he's an old man but he looks spectacular and he moves like with confidence and grace and dives into the water and i'm like i go get my wife away from this mother fucker i'm looking into this old crazy man like he's just going to fuck every woman within a mile radius and it's like he has no innovations no no worries about it and all these people were watching him and there's a family that's sitting behind this rock and they're like there's they're sitting there watching arnold moving
swimming it keeps taking his pants off it keeps taking his bikini bottoms off like washing is like our rate it whatever it is it's some crazy what i don't know what it would mean freud would have a fucking field day with this chair like what is this dream supposed to read well there are no terrified of arnold schwarzenegger loved to have seen your face while dreaming and just like the little finances in your face with it whether they were violence and fear well yeah look at it like this i they say it out one way to analyze dreams as you look at every part of a dream is a projection of some aspect of your life so arnold schwarzenegger isn't that your it isn't that your lower primal self some kind of like that that would be that that that draw the sex drive though like the drive the power drive so your country
the drive yeah look who's a body builder there's like the most vain thing you could possibly do and then the republic ocean you could say well the public ocean that's your arm is that your public life is that you're doing the podcast and you kind of like have all your in front of everyone on the planet and so you're seeing like a project of your aid swimming through are reacting to you i can i think i'm thinking about all sorts of negative ad and we talked about yesterday and we don't think it's me i don't think that represents me i see where you're going with that but no because what this guy represents to me now when i found out that he fucked made his shot lowe's in his maiden that apparently he's doing it for a long time what he represents to me is like this almost like a new bridled hedonist that regardless of the stakes of you know of whatever step thing that he does sexually know he's the governor okay
the giant movie start multimillionaire married to a kennedy basically and shriver is some sort of a kennedy right yeah into this respectable family but yet maids fucking alter to chicks all over the planet i'm sure he just never pulled it back you know that's it that's it amazing what's there talking about in my dream he was just completely without without reme horse with in my dream he was owning it in my dream he was dead this is me i'm this crazy freak i'm out here i bet did you see my balls you know i mean that was was in my dream we've smiling and laughing and waving to people and he didn't give a fuck open in real life i mean the poor guys falling apart in real life he's a sixty year old man kicked out of his house you know and his family knows he you know he had a child literally two weeks
apart from the his own child with the maid the maid that was there made for twenty fucking years you think you will survive all this i think you will know no that's a wrap so you think that could be made to terminal five right now done people are done with him how could he do something this is this is what i mean it's possible anything can happen i might be just talking out of my ass i'm the one want to say of i'm amazed at some of the people that have made comebacks you know look at bill clinton bill clinton's a respectable former president now did i remember when i was it was during the nineties when we were working on news radio on the monica lewinsky scandal in town bill clinton man two days hey idiot him if you listen to republican radio which i used to listen to all the time there are people that wanted him dead they thought that he represented everything foul about the world and the fact they caught him getting head from some twenty year old girl and then lying about it and then they draw
jim i mean they impeach tell me why people think impeach means kicked out of office so embarrassed is not what it means would impeach means you be bring someone in to decide whether or not you're kicking them out of office and that's what they did with him and they sat come down and he had to sit there is not my recollection of the word you know that's not what is the word you know he's talking about the word you know sex have sexual relations as i took it to mean sexual relations you know and they can't even say what the fuck are you saying man it's the worst man wait whenever i really start feeling like we live in an advanced civilization really ahead of our time and we're really doing it then i hear about this sexually repressed bullshit or like so what swarts a nager got his fucking made pregnant clinton got a blowjob who cares meanwhile george bush is dropping cluster bombs on iraqi babies and everybody's like fine he's a great president he's he's killing humans
obama is doing it in the liberals aren't saying a fucking doesn't adam greatest hypocrisy of all time az somehow because of the time it's dropping bombs on libya it's okay all those democratic actors love to talk during table readings and where obama pens you can all go suck my dick nasty thank you guys you're all done now that sucked into a system he's done a lot of other great stuff you know yeah he's he is the same thing as bush's young man lawton yeah you know but george bill maher which is what i thought you were talking we have conversation catalog as we talked about yesterday how bill maher this really brilliant point about how he calls himself a christian and yet when they were asking him about osama bin laden's death he was like anybody who questions whether or not that good should have their mind their head checked you know like we there's nothing like christianity is nothing like christian doctrine there hasn't been a christian president for a long christian president i'd love to see that there would be a real one be real will be ron paul yes ron paul
is a legit christian he's so legit that he doesn't even believe in evolution you know ron paul and scott says well he's not stupid man look he's got some wacky ass fucking ideas but he he believes in creationism you know look life itself fucking beyond bizarre i'm not ruling out the possibility of creationism but when you talking about evolution just being a theory and you don't necessarily agree with that theory like urine wacko ville i get loose is not just a theory it's provable there's like there's transition every fassel's there's there's a lot of thousands of scientists for hundreds of years have been collecting data and they can show natural adaptation they can show change they can show things in our lifetime we could show about humans especially like men in tibet that have gone that live at very high altitudes and their bodies have changed and evolved to be very different from our bodies
and they've done this to to adapt to this really harsh new environment just what happens man have have you read the tria logs yes the mckenna yeah rupert sheldrake when they start talking more for genic field yeah that that like that idea is that like in and so the evolution like their idea of evolution they they they asked this really awesome question which is like you have newtonian physics the lots of the universe how the universe works and some people apparently think that these laws of the universe are eternal laws never changing they don't involve everything else is involving
but the laws of the universe stay the same and so the awesome question they ask is well okay we're where did where did these laws exist before the big bang when did they exist in some kind of bizarre field it's like you know the it may can i have some awesome name forty puts hyper he attached hybrid everything some kind of like hyper spatio platonic field but like where do they existed they exist there so they're awesome crazy idea is this thing called a super tractor that exist in the future which is like this perfect form this is like the heated mckenna freely uses the word god because he's not afraid to use like word still like you know put and those on things but i it's this idea of this super perfection that exist in the future kind of like the ultimate goal like what we're talking about and it's so powerful transnational object at the end of time and it's pulling us towards it so evolution is little is the us be
drawn into a relationship with this perfect form in shifting to become it to like transform into it and that's what the the force of evolution now you know creationism it's almost the reverse of creationism or something it's like the creator instead of existing at the beginning of time blasting out every thing is somehow sitting at the end of time sucking everything into itself which is pretty cool yeah well there's a law or or more rule or an ethic to the universe and that's a things keep getting more and more complex things don't seem to simplify nothing in our lifetime does at least nothing that we can observe over the course of the life of the earth does from the earth pulling to earth developing single celled organisms to multi celled organisms and flowering plant life after the you know the yucatan crater after the big
explosion that killed dinosaurs mean everything just keeps getting more and more and more and more complex to the invention of course of electronics and that's where things have gotten really particularly bizarre because if you look at life and you look at electronics you know you were objective you are not a human being you are not a carbon based life form you were just something without form that objectifies disseminates information something that looks at all the data and comes to a conclusion well if you looked at the human life on planet and then you looked at the life of technology man i so technology doesn't have cells and i know technology doesn't have fingernails and shit like that but god damn it is it growing with us it isn't it evolving with us in our their dead ones that are just laying around just like uh fossils and bodies at apple two computer the you have sit in your in garage when you turn on it doesn't really work anymore but still keep it that's like your grandma's body you know that's a day
body man and we have a symbiotic relationship with this stuff now whereas you know like i've talked about this many times i leave the fucking house my ice i'm scared i am a lost world i am such a little bitch i can't drive in my car without my phone phone you know like what do i have to go some money i'm terrified that i don't know anybody's phone number anymore i know like four five people's phone numbers i know so if i went to a pay phone with good luck fucking finding one are there any payphones anywhere would have to go to like a seven eleven and buy one of those re chargeable route you know those are reusable phones yeah murder for both of those one of those affair phones and and so and try to figure out how to call people affair file i think the use of foreign i always feel like these are for crime and for affairs yeah if you seen are the transcendent man yes you saw that yeah which is an incredible maze
it is it it's curry hurts well is a of the comma futurists and he's responsible for many many patents he's a brilliant brilliant man and he is a huge proponent of the idea of the technological singularity and the idea behind that is that one day artificial intelligence is going to look literally and virtually come alive and we're going to merge with it somehow we are either going be downloaded into computers or consciousness is going to be replicated and indistinguishable from our current consciousness and that will be downloaded into computers and or biological body will die or electronics signal that is our consciousness that they let has been recreated like do you know what you copy of microsoft word files you will copy you are mine you a copy or going just like your soul yeah yeah you will copy something and you will put it into this whatever the fuck it is it holds all this
but what we're saying is that life is almost completely connected to technology and it's a very very short time at this happened yeah two hundred years ago there were no cars you know so in those two hundred years we have been connected to because it was of really fast in video that someone sent me that i put up on twitter i i re tweeted the other day you can find if you discours through my twitter but it's a a time lapse video of both cars moving back and forth on free days and how it looks like blood yeah and the harbor yeah about how it looks like the pulsating of blood coming back and forth you know i mean it's the clearly is that the brow f of breathing in and breathing out of the the you know the heart beats in and out the car's leave the house and come back to that i mean it really is yeah yeah it's a type of life form it's just
it happens so slowly all this traffic sucks my dick you know under fucking cars dying shit and all these things that you you micro manage that that scenario and then you don't see it as this pulsating thing of cars coming in in cars going out and how many of them going the same god damn directly everyday here's the thing man and this is what i think about this all the time because the wait for at for things to work way they're working right now which is for there to be capitalism and there to be super rich people in super poor people in war and all the things that rather distasteful or seem to be our eyes seem to be destructive for that to exist each of those little nodes of consciousness that represent that blood stream have to think they're individuals and have to think they're more important than all the other ones so you've got a bunch of blood cells all thinking i gotta get to work what the fucks wrong with this asshole in front of me and not realizing they're all part of this one super organism and if
somehow everyone's justin shifted from the idea of like how to get to work to whatever the next thing would be which is i'm connected to this super mind if it is the planet which i think is going to that's what the singularity will be it'll be some technologically i applied to empathy that allows everyone to connect their consciousness to the other guy or if you had that moment capitalism kind of ceases as we know it and capitalism of course is just a symptom of something deeper but that that model the model that's running everything is no longer possible in that model encourages competition model encourages people to push strive and beyond their comfort in order to you know to create more action create more money to create more more building more construction more
sing more war is more prisons more laws buying more things where diseases some more materialism this al yeah all of it get all accelerates they invent diseases it's a it's a fat anything man the the idea that everything moves in the same direction is that the single celled organisms you know that you know we will or even how about we look at blood you know we're talking about it looking like like blood moving through art you know blood is a single cell you know single cells of blood move in the same as this huge animal that huh you know billions of cells and not just that but is also a host for all sorts of bacteria stuff that live inside of our bodies but we have to in order to keep it going in the same direction as those cells we have to have all these different little tools that we use to sort of justify existence all these different little tools like the love of having your baby
the love of orgasm's you know the love of going on stage or of creating something you know about the one thing that's the most satisfying you know outside of childbirth in in bring your own children is creating you know people who don't create things i think as a whole are weighed less happy than people who who create things mean i know dudes that make pool cues i know dudes that make belts they make custom wallets and there's a something that they get when they like you know i bought a wallet from this dude and you buy a wallet from him and he sells you the wallet i made it for you and should like there's a smile that he has like he create did something he created a piece of artwork and someone else appreciating a wow i love how you did this is how this is awesome work and so clean and all done is like thank you in his effort and his his creativity i've gone into an actual object and to us that's very very very satisfied and then there's the comedy satisfaction that you get for perform
i mean this all we you and i understand me honest and understand i guess it's in music it's probably just the same thing you me create a song that people love that song feeling creating something then what are you doing when you're creating something while you're doing the same fucking thing you're you're pushing the machine pushing it in your way in your way is making people happy and and giving people some pas of energy and also by your d v d e and there's an industry behind that and they come see with the clubs in this is industry behind that even by putting gas their cars and you know this is it's a really it's amazing how many different pieces are in place if you if you take back if you like zoom in on the idea of what is creation and creation is taking something from the nothingness and bringing it into the something that since so you sort of become the doorway for something to come from the nothingness into the something as so when you're creating your actually experiencing us follow through from the infinite into the finite and that i think that is the feeling that we love so much is
that sense of feeling that that thing when you're working on jokes in office and it goes from being a drudge to all of a sudden it's like holy shit you know it's happening and obviously you get sucked into this vacuum and you've written like two hours and it feels like a second you know that that sense of being all the new a momentary current or something's coming out of you that's clearly not necessarily you that to me is like one of the autumn it is it's the ultimate feeling i i have a that you know i think if you go by this idea of this a tractor that did that mckenna talks about this thing that exists in hyperspace that it's what it wants to come through us into this universe it wants to express itself through ice and i think that's the compulsion that you're talking about i think that's an alternative viewpoint obviously there's the
cynical way of looking at it like no no no no that's a natural inclination that people have monkeys or curious this is what we do we think about things and every joke that you have is just this accumulation of your life experiences and your figuring out a little bit congratulations you're not tapping into the universal consciousness will be right sarah palin's on the line and we're going to have a nice little sit down with the future president of the united states maybe huh yeah well let's hope he doesn't fuck anybody that he's not married to buy imaginary rituals about it but you know what i'm saying the there that cynical point of view about the idea of creativity yeah there's something to that point of view to you have to address it you can always go happy and one of the things i bet i bounce back and forth i don't think it is either but it is a little about i've bounced back and forth with the idea of the imagination being almost like like
when you have imagination that the imagination is the real force behind the evolute then what imagination truly is is we think of is like oh i can see things i can work around problems i have this idea but when you imagine an idea when you imagine a product you imagine how to design an engine for a car near the you know you're henry ford over to fuck me the first yeah when your your imagination has this idea for this thing and then you bill and design it and boom it's there that thought what there was no thought of that before it existed it's not that but people were running around thinking of the car and i know it's going to look like there was no thought of it you created this or it came to you there is some from nothing something from from what is that from the ether something from these even if it's just these synapses firing in your mind we're so what is the signal what is the root of
signal to be so you know mass magical about it and say well it get human ingenuity and that's what it is it's good old stick to it of ness and you roll up your sleeves and you figure out this world that henry ford created a great thing and you know well did thomas edison was a great felly invented versus neuron sweat and yeah you know i don't necessarily know it's it is possible that the imagination is something that is information that is out there like the the idea of the akashic records the idea of that there's shit out there and then what we are is a little antenna sending in yeah and that when we tune into something if we pick up this this signal for the engine and someone picked pick that up excellent once that piece is in place all needed flowers and blossoms like like a fish nachi sequence on a fucking a sunflower you know it
bursts out you know exponentially in certain directions and then that starts creating more inventions with all which also burst out but all of them aminat in the imagination initially all of them have to be thought up auto all of them have to be created by the human mind or what the human mind can tune into there's no way into this universe as a human but through pussy and there's no now there is no for an idea to come into this universe except through a thought there's no way for an invention except to come through our mind our minds are the our minds are sort of the creative orifices through which all innovation every invention every idea comes it's through the human mind now if you want to think
that some day you just wake up and you get in the shower and you get lucky enough for your neurons to fire certain way where you figure out how to reduce the cost of making solar power panels and saw the it you know the energy problem on the planet if you want to think that that's an accident fine if it helps you it seems like it helps a of people to think that the universe springs from some kind of lightning pole it in class mar the earth does are you are biological life on the earth and some people like to i think that their neurons get lucky and fire 'cause they squeeze there how together in the right way and popped out an idea but i think you'll find that most of the great creators they don't think that you know when you write but is that because the best way to create a sub not think about yourself the best way to cri is like when you start thinking about yourself the ego starts tripping over its own dick and you start thinking about like how cool you yeah it's like when you see a guy on stage in the guy like obviously thinks he's cool the worst it's the worst
the feeling is is feeling of grossness is a disconnect and that disconnect also disconnect him from creativity whereas if you see a guy on stage and he just in the moment man he doesn't give a fuck he just tuned into it so compare and so interesting yeah you know so maybe it's it's a trick you know i'm saying like maybe this idea that you know that we are tuning into the infinite and it is maybe not this requires a certain state of mind to be creative and that's stay minus to avoid the ego like so like like the car they don't just invent the car you invent the wheel furs and it's because somebody sat there like hey i need to take stone or take heavy thing uh here you know it right it i under in the intended to me i think it's also a necessity and then since come within assess it certainly has but guess what antelopes on event and they keep getting jacked by jaguars left and right those stupid flux they never figure it out every year then eh van ventana mold car where they can just
give the finger to the jaguar beep the horn and run over the jaguar babies they see in the road they can't do it we can and one of the reasons why we can is because we're conscious because we can think and but what is thinking the real question would what are all these things firing together solving problems what is all that really because some people can't solve shit there's very clear that there's there's different types of people there's people that are super solvers and there's people that can barely solve taking a shit and wiping their ass correctly there's people can barely show up for work everyday everything they do is fucking mass and they make more people that are just like that well if you think that there's an order to the whole thing what are those fucks here for you know are they here just until robots can become invented to do menial tasks is that what it is for yet let me here's the thing what you did this what you do that you know you
think of a nice even when things get bad for sure i think of like the greatest idea everett brains though then you get mad cow disease try honest will fuck you you can't cannibalized candidate ever eat the brain everyone the brain just let me just majors balls an the ranger goes page you got a problem brains you crazy bell letters are delicious if you look it if you so the idea just to get back to this idea of like where did not come from well if you if you take things out of the temporal perspective and look at things is some unified whole in by temporal and in future okay so let's look at the whole thing is like from the perspective if we could jump out of time and we could look at whatever this event was let's call the big bang for now and the series of reactions that happened directly after the big bang in those first few seconds that the people at the particle accelerator's want to understand
and then you follow that all the way to the contents tion of gas i guess that made matter an event in the galaxies in the and then you follow all the way that to the first mix chemical soup that whatever that was and then the dna starts forming out of that and then that dna somehow gets encapsulated in membrane we have cells and the cells gain symbiotic relationships with other cells and become multi cellular organisms which have symbiotic relationships and eventually you with us we still are basically a da a trail going all the way back to before dna to matter all the way back to this explosion of light and so a thought is an idea emerging from infinity from the ultimate explosion trillion years ago into the present moment now if that ain't coming you know where i don't know what is you can say well no it's my neurons that did it well your neurons did it right now but you're a chain of
super reactions that led to this moment in time when you invented the thing you invented right you're not just your neurons are connected to the entire ecosystem and you're connected to an infinite past you know and it's just i guess when you start looking at things that just you know this year fifty year lifespan i suppose things can start looking pretty grim and penn and teller ish but if you really just at a time and really look at what's going down it's like it's fucking crazy man we got blasted out of some infinite past and we're like gap about it right now what seems to me that we are passengers on a spaceship that is about three hours from slamming into another planet and we just woke up from hyperspace yeah and we're looking at the maps and we're going to how the fuck did we get here what are we doing here does anyway
is a radar online yet we're starting to decipher radar sir but we do have a window and we're moving very close to something we're not exactly sure what it is and then you know exact you know i'm saying it's like we're waking up in the middle of history right now and all of us are some at some point in time we're realizing that oh my god there is no one has a firm grip on exactly what the fuck is going on we we really are like a spaceship about the slam into something we really are moving we have massive momentum were in a tractor beam will keep going yeah we're moving towards that thing well all moving in this certain very tangible very physical direction and no one exactly why but everyone keeps it going and we kind of have to keep going i mean that's one of the beautiful things about imperialism and all these different things is that these things are in place menue you're forced
you know i'm writing writing a book and one of the chapters it's all it's it's called if you get cancer from yourself on your fucking pussy so maintaining your manhood and ever changing world is the idea of it as things become more and more complicated it's very difficult to be true to your nature as a human being as a man and that one of the biggest ways that you become a bitch is you get a job and get job this will turn you into a bitch more than anything that a man encounters in his whole life having a boss having something that you don't want to do that becomes most of your life most of life is eight hours a day you're waking the the the the two plus commuting hours you throw in there the most of that is it you don't want to do your life becomes mostly what you don't want to do and then once you start getting things and that you have to pay for the car pain
in an apartment rental or god forbid you started fucking shitting out kids and then you have to pay for them yeah then you become a real bitch because then you can't say what you want because you're worried getting fired you know i've had people say that email you say things like that to ever worry that the ufc is going to say something to you well i'm in the luxurious position where i don't have to worry about that but god damn well fuck yeah of course i would you know i was barely getting by and i didn't have money saved up and i didn't have other career paths you know be the comedian is the most beautiful fucking thing to ever have as your main occupation because we can uh days go to that you know we can always speak our mind and if people know they can count on you what one of the reasons why this podcast is so successful is because there is no bullshit going on this podcast there's a lot of speculation there's a lot of what ifs there's a lot stoner talk but every fucking thing that i say i say because i believe it i or i'm
being honest about my thoughts there's not a lot of people that are thinking like that in this world is not a lot of people who have the luxury with their job to be honest about points of view all throughout the day but what do you do and this is something i i always wondered i share a year at this idea that you have in your right having a job is a form of slavery will you get locked into the system you get locked into the machine what would the world be like if you applied this philosophy if everyone on the planet heard you saying that and suddenly left their jobs would be impossible what we have we we have far too complex society where there's a bunch shit that needs to get done that nobody wants to do what is that i i really want to know like this is an idea i always want to explore like what let's just say it just for a thought experiment everyone on the planet this thing happens in the spaceship they all wake up and we're looking at what we're doing in ninety percent of what we do
robotic ritualistic bullshit that did it is not allowing us to fully experience life would be some good things that would happen like government jobs that are the uses would go away like the real stupid silly jobs that are only in place because the government wants to by jobs and mac overman bigger because it's one of the ways that each other doing well and helping the economy you know that's a that's a a terrible horrible trap and that would be those people would be forced to contribute that would be something you're going now forced to actually have something that you you know you're going to give to society and they're going to give you food in return for this thing you know they're going to give you clothing they're going to use is going to be some sort of a system in place you know the real problem though is what about all the shit that nobody wants to do what about create what about making computer what about what about landscape what are we going to do without we going to only have third world countries that are handling
and this this entire country becomes a bunch of you know layabout with no jobs that's where gets fucking weird there's a lot of people that have jobs that have bosses that love their fucking jobs love being a landscaper or they love me yeah they love being true totally true but those numbers small yeah yeah anything it's ten percent i don't think ten percent of people i know love their job well i'll tell you who loves their job mcdonald's workers have you ever gone into a mcdonald's it's like a temple of happiness those people are miserable grease stained the the the good so but i this is if i did it you know speaking of hit by the way that's a good point you brought up because they're replacing duncan done up don't they're placing mcdonald's employees with kiosks yeah i have that are at del taco by my house to the real or not to talk i'll put your logo he just go up and it's just like everything touch screen and you just slide your and bam does this usually sacks how many mcdonalds customers can read you know
yes this is being able to actually for once order everything exactly how you want to without having to waste the person's time you know like like you order your burger you like yeah and one man is right like mustard ketchup yeah that's at this is that like your for one you're actually being able to order shit exactly how you want without making people feel get those places anymore man i can't do it if you see food inc yes jesus fucking christ watch that and then go have a fucking mic rib or whatever it's hard yeah it changed my whole philosophy and all that stuff i still eat fish though fuck fish filet of fish that's all i eat it like burger king or mcdonald's rather eat filet of fish lifelong enemy if the crab really i feel not so bad about eating crab killing craggy crabs suck but like i don't feel bad about eating seafood i can't feel sorry for fish it's really difficult don't take care of their young i need
about fish they eat other fish the other fish to eat their own by the way you could catch bash all you can catch bass on little tiny bass lures so they look like bass and catch him the little baby bass the moment can you eat their own species i don't feel bad eating here they'd shit there should their eggs out the guy comes over it doesn't even fuck the girl just jizz all over the eggs so what kind of stupid yeah yeah so disconnected you know perverts of the sea well they can't stop for even a second even to fuck there's no and he's going to come along and eat your ass to find some eggs to jizz on that run the world of the ocean of lakes is so fantastic and bizarre and re alien to us as a mitch hedberg have a joke about how awful the ocean would be a fish get scream scream it would be mad you think about it everybody's a murderer even whales are murderers
go around eating krill you know there's very few vegetarian fish and it doesn't matter 'cause even though what whatever vegetarians are they get killed so the ones that do exist that eat algi and shit like that you just there to clean up bitch and then every now and then someone's going to come around and eat your after take a chomp out an experimental chop how often does a shark ca women swimming they don't like it in humans but they take an experimental bite their hungry let's this they're hungry in your easy and the rest of the world is moving very fast and leave this fucking stupid thing with rubber flippers it's barely moving despite this fucking thing real quickly yeah it's just like it's like eating like something out of the refrigerator that you maybe it's maybe it's still good yeah i don't serve i have friends that do it and they say it's the most amazing thing of all time but fucking and every year someone gets jacked yeah i was use the analogy that every year someone got attacked by the wolf man would you still go in the woods during a full moon why the fuck would you well guess what
parks are way scarier than the god damn wolfman because they're real and they don't take days off it's not i go it's not a full moon we don't have to worry we can go swim in the ocean now no every fucking day sharks are out there and way scarier than werewolf it isn't it like the odds of you getting in a shark attack your odds would be better if you know getting hit by a meteor or something do you know what you know we're not that small it depends on where you're at if you go to south africa the odds are very high that going to get bit by sharks at that there's an area in south africa where they can drag a surfboard behind a boat and his videos of it 'cause it's that fucked up 'cause they have a huge population in south africa of great white sharks and people go fucking surf out there man and your dragon or drag a surfboard behind a great white or behind a boat in a great white which is come along a nail it they had one they dragged it dangerous tractive five minutes three sharks nailed it in five minutes watt
harold and one of the one of the aside from being permanently crippled and terrified of the sea for the rest of your life one of the awful things about being a shark attack victim is always hearing that fuck statistic my odds of getting bitten by a shark for the same as giving and you're looking at your stub you can't fuck that statistic i got my arm rip there was a dude recently right up in santa barbara that got bitten half he was uh huh yards from shore swimming with his buddies in a sixteen foot great white came along and bit him in half and they were like well it's real rare for shark like that exist in this party well yeah what the fuck are you talking about just because it's rare this is still the ocean it's all connected yeah the ocean is one big playing field okay there's no nets there's a changeling for fish course but there's nothing that separates this part of the fucking field from the other part of the field there's just habitat and they choose if they want to they can keep swimming they could
chance they were in a certain area for a reason it's 'cause the food sources there but guess what there's a reason why some killer whales are up near alaska they found a fucking food source they wandered in that area started killing things there and so that was a good spot shit moves man ocean is like a giant buffet tray and when you when do you become part of the buffet whether you like it or not you're you're anything in the ocean could eat you and there's so many things that would love to that that last moment dude that's always think about are out there swimming body surf and having fun you see your girl on the shore hey you're swimming then all the sudden it feels like somebody punched you really hard in the leg and then you look down and there's just blood geysering out of your fucking ripped arteries and there's just some white shape underneath you carrying your leg off to atlantis and you know
i mean that's your last moment as you sink under the waves and suck in water because you lost so much blood maybe you wake up in the hospital two days later right but you know what how is that any better than the cow's last day when that fucking pissed and goes through his brain a couple days before you eat him in a cheeseburger but again last day not a good last day everybody's last day socks when not necessarily really you think your last day is going to be the shit i think there i mean yes depends on how you do it i guess it depends on how you do it but you keep like a survival stash of mushrooms around you know like uh feel like a ten gram stash that you can just bust into it every time you like this this mother fucker looks like it so yeah this is you know i'm i'm drowning in my own lung fluid here you know my my my or black with rot ok it's over i can't breathe just chewed out
these measures required things just like fucking out this hug families like father please don't do it don't take those things don't take those things we want you here when you die i don't leave us just trying to have a nice little mushroom trip before you blast off you know out this huxley on his deathbed wrote 'cause he couldn't talk on a sheet of paper the medical prescription for five hundred micrograms of lsd intravenously which is wi fi acted into him on his death bed he's the guy wrote proofs the world my anyone out stripping wow have you heard of big coin what have you heard of big coin spell b i t c o r i n no it's this new peer to peer currency that's going on
internet right now it's kind of based off of torrents you know i know what you're talking about you're talking about that psychedelic store yes where you can buy anything you want yes i was wonder if you guys knew about that there's a door that if you set up your computer correctly like you have to put like some kind of make it random like i p addresses so it's not trackable then you can access to this axis is one website called the silk road yeah and you can pretty much by any drug you want to in these guys are from buying acid there in using big points though so it's a even more untraceable is it really untraceable i doubt it i think i think anyway that far yeah hi this is on the front page of wired yeah how are those folks who don't know what we're talking about if you just google this is the phrase to google the your ground website where you can buy any drug imaginable if you google that it will come up a bunch of different articles from bunch different publications i read the one in wired magazine which is one of my favorite online things to read his gawker gawkers awesome too
basically what would what they're saying is that you know it describes a guy who did it it's this guy is sitting here i'll describe it weeks ago us postal service delivered an ordinary envelope to mark's door inside was a tiny plastic bag containing ten tabs of lsd if you had opened unless you were looking for it you wouldn't have even noticed mark software developer had ordered a hundred micrograms acid through a listing on the online marketplace silk road he found a seller with lots of good feedback who seemed they were talking about added the acid who is digital shopping cart and hit checkout he entered his address an paid the seller fifty bitcoins untraceable digital currency worth about one hundred and fifty four days later the drugs sent from canada arrived at his house what was the
side with the you or they'll as that seems to me like this is one of those things that was a great idea for a little booked until everybody start talking yeah it's gawker put it on the front yeah a yeah or wired yeah this is a big i'm going to do it is actually emanated from gawker i do like the idea of big points trying to start a currency you know outside of the the normal currency you got it you got a balls to order allied stock of that i would start off with tylenol pm and then work my way up you got give your address i mean no matter what that seems just crazy i could enjoy that do the acid you would get so god damn paranoid that someone was going to boot down your door and fucking stick a gun in your mouth while you're sleeping and scream at you whereas the drugs where fucking drug shoot your dog you know i mean did you hear about the dea raid and fuck and i think it was in arizona where a guy who is a former marine was uh
i'm down in a in an ill conceived drug raid have a shot i'm seventy one times in a little bag of weed this house yeah i heard of that yeah that's that's kind of shared data really kill a high yeah no shit that shit kills my high anyway that's like it that's how i know i'm about to have a bad trip is the fantasy swat team starts surrounding the house yes that's the problem also in environments where drugs are illegal psychedelic drugs marijuana with those things that you want in are nice and there and when you buy them you have to be in contact with bad people you have to be in contact with drug dealers you have to be in contact with people who are willing willing to risk going to jail to sell you this shit and a lot of times fucking guys get popped and a lot of time maybe they don't like you so when they get pop and have to talk to the cops the cops is where you get this shit from ham binos former marine man's guys fucking crazy you know he's got a gun and he selling coke at his house and so are
still it will get a five to four for marine selling coke and the guy's crazy he's guns we need to get the swat team together put on the vest and helmets and so then they fucking go this guy down when really maybe all it was as he knew ash it had cuz that's where he bought his pot you know who the fuck so i mean i'm reading into the whole thing he might have been crazy but when my point is when you're dealing with world of illegal drugs you're dealing with criminals right and that's that's the one of the biggest travesties of you know that the having these personal freedoms taken away buses that it's forcing you to interact with people who are out of five fucking mind but that's the annoying thing yet 'cause you know you hear listen marijuana is a gateway drug you start smoking marijuana you're going to have a heroin needle hanging out your arm by christmas but it's like really marijuana is not a gateway drug drug dealers are gateway drugs and when a kid can't go to i store that solely sells marijuana and goes to a dope dealer in some tray north carolina look where i used to go the guys like hey boy
you want you want rice and ball on top of that it's great coke and then next thing you know you're kosher wine i'll try some coke and i'll try some meth that's one way of looking at it but i could see that someone who's curious and tries marijuana would eventually be curious and try heroin or be curious and try math or you know if they have friends that are dumb specially for young it's very far if you do math i know this person that fucking moron you are a fucking moron but what if you're dumb what if you young and what if you have a friend who just did mess and he's like it was crazy as wild i thought you get hooked i'm fine i'm fine and you're dumb and you listen your dumb friend and then boom you doing math you know i can see that i can see that but it's still and take away from the fact that one of the main problems is that we have this distrust of the the entire system we have a distrust of the police and the law enforcement distrust of the lawmakers and one of the big reasons for this distrust is marijuana laws we know there riddhi because they know the ridiculous you
two thousand fucking eleven and you go online and you look up the statistics and you look up all the studies you go oh hey this shit isn't deadly at all not only is not really it seems to shrink tumors and look it seems to help with a dd and it seems to help each other you go online you find the information it's so completely diametrically opposite of what their fucking telling you and beat your head in with that you start disregard what they say about other shit too and then you try math because you i will fuck they were lying to me about weed mean nothing that bad you know maybe cokes not a big deal and then all these fucking terrable really dangerous drugs that are i don't know if you've had a friend that had an addiction problem and in there while they're in the throes of addiction it's like having a friend that's bit by a vampire it really yes it's like you can't do anything for them you can't you're holding them down there things are popping out and so you see them shaking shuttering sweat
what did you what was your first what happened would you have my friend was addicted to viking and i i went over to his house because he's like can you come get rid of my bike it and i'm like i'll be right over is it does look like it was a good friend you went through a period of time where you got a bunch of pills and you got real weird for awhile man i don't know what the fuck you were taken but you but too much of a new cap taken and you were telling me dude if i have it in my house i just take them i had a it's like world of warcraft at a flushing down the toilet what was it we were there well so what happened is a friend of mine you is it really isn't yeah i have a clearly defined and a nice guy just give me a handful a load of pills own weird mixture of pals so like i i i i i think i was little depressed at the time and like listening to a lot of elliott smith know their stabs of that yeah so
i want right now is living in echo park and had these pills and are going to my depressed little apartment like eat pills there's really a dark time and and and and i got sick i wouldn't i guess you could say i don't think i got physically addicted i don't think i got a habit but i got little psychologically addicted and i got scared because i could see the you know the fucking i could feel the pole so i flushed the toilet well that's a smart move that's hard move to make the right you were at the door of addiction right yeah and and i could feel i could i could see where it could go and that's why i thought compel suck and that's why you should avoid them okay
because they fucking suck you know i just threw my back out and my dad gave me some pain medication which i took and this is the first time i've taken like a pharmaceutical painkiller in a long time and i hated it just made me feel like shit i was puking yesterday i don't know if that it was from that or the fact that we're pregnant old shellfish on pregnant but like those things suck man all pills suck they're terrible for you but they're awful outside of like you know xanax and oxycontin which i still use everyday kind of see your your drug your drug dealer giving you kind of liked that the gateway thing no afraid that allegedly recently went to go get mushrooms and this person has only done weed and mushrooms in their whole life and the first thing the guy says hey i got some dmt right now also and was like
can you imagine just giving somebody tmt going from like oh what's the dmt i'll try that this shits all my fault i know chip started a dmt explosion crazy but i did how often do you get emails from deborah fake cops probably every day and i don't i can't respond to emails anymore it's impossible i get too many of 'em so don't even try i do what i can to respond to twitter messages and nice short form things and talk to people outside of clubs after shows and stuff like that but there's just too many people want my time and too many crazy fucking people but definitely fake cops was definitely rather cops fake people be sure but look it's real simple i always say look i don't travel with it i don't i don't you know i'm not looking to get high in other towns i'm not looking at you get fucked up on mushrooms in seattle now i'm not doing anything and i have a respect for law enforcement i know that they know these laws are retarded i have no a lot of cops man believe me what they hate is criminals they hate
scumbags and murderers and people knocking over fucking people stores and houses and stealing and fucking society suck and a lot of that is drug dealers to because as we said people were willing to take those fucking chances to sell drugs a lot of times they're doing that because they were doing something else before they had some fucking pyramid scheme before that and before that they were you know selling stolen car radios or this to people involved when you get involved in that illegal world the world of shit they can get you locked up jail yeah there's a lot of people that only operate inside that realm you know they go from one little illegal scam to the next cops hate them and they should for a fucking reason i personally like cops you know people think that because i like part i don't cops cops to me are a huge fucking important part of a healthy and safe society an when you hear about bad cops i personally believe that it's a small fraction of the actual cops most cops are
behave admirably in front of a bunch of fucking cunts 'cause but most people are most people are dumb cunts and they're out there doing dumb stupid shit and these cops running these dumb cunts doing dumb stupid shit all day fucking long every day of the week admire their fucking patience for the most part by the way well i'd love to see the cop haters out there something full importing your running in the way you handle it no i just don't just touch it went like that and it use it right on top of your belly to maybe you should like back that bitch up a little bit see how this space between me and the microphone distances love to see i love to see what a copier does when they're house gets broke and here yeah well some cops are bad man i know a guy was selling weed who got robbed by cops don't think i've talked about it on the pod i've never had a problem with cops i think if you have a problem with cops to for the most part and watch the show cops and you realize what these cops are dealing with they seem pretty nice and then they're dealing with but
he said a bunch of fucking regions or watch steven segal lawman i know what the fuck is he doing he's a cop he just the cock fighting ring in arizona they bridged drove into a house with a fucking tank they busted people fighting roosters still look all gets out this is real life man he's strange to me is no one more bizarre to me and steven seagal solaire this why did he drive into a chicken house of the tank why did real cops let him come to bust the whole thing i mean i guess he's some sort of a weird real cop in louisiana i guess i don't even think he is i think he just shadows them or something i think you have like an honorary sort of a thing like shaq was kilo neil was like an honorary sheriff well he loves chickens shaquille o'neal steven segal he just loves chickens these are my precious these are gods children i don't give a fuck about birds
birds to me are just like fish i have a plan to then i felt guilty you eating chicken because those little those little orange checks there is we don't need checks the chicken's chicken's accounts once a week i'm full grown their cunts chop their fucking heads off cook him up i don't have no problem with eating chickens they're cold blooded assholes they don't give a fuck about you lappa chicken i do jokes about birds like people like saying that the apocalypse you know the birds are falling from the sky at the and don't like you don't know so we're falling from the sky it would be the apocalypse like birds eyes my pet bird is it true is it baby and i hand fed with a bottle the moment you die that things going to eat your fucking eyeballs about you man ladies should had something happen and so i had offered hitchcock movie the birds high just watch that today's the other hours the where is the i happen to birds
if you see somebody back then didn't have a fucking shotgun that that is the dumbest fucking movie if there was common sense that movie would not exist it was so retarded that there were so many just watching it like why don't you just fucking get in that room and don't move why are you having attacks and you're scared of birds but you're still going outside at you know what i mean there are times we went outside somebody died i don't know he's a tennis racket up in the spiritual tell you what he's really crows yeah right was crows outside flock of us looking holes in crows i'll go out there with the goalie mask on and some sparring gear like to cover up all my vital areas and a cop and two tennis rackets and i'll take on a swarm of birds i just swap those bitches in the sky would be an awesome work can i play crow advocate here and just say that if you if a big enough flock of crows descended on you yes they could carry you away that's true
it was busy so what happened in this area would be a whirling dervish like a fucking tornado of tennis rackets going to get swooped into that maybe you but i got some cardio bitch i work out the real problem would be if it was eagles if you had form of eagles you're dead you're dead never seen the videos of eagles killing wolves what the fuck did so they train them to kill wolves 'cause they get the wulfers and they sell like wolf pelt worth a lot of money because you know a lot of the guys were they do it you know they're they're farmers and shit me up she keeping the wolves come and eat the sheep so they train eagles to kill the wolves i would never believe it was so easy eagles are like undefeated versus wolves feel sorry for the wolf that's incredible you feel bad for the wolves they swoop down and they just jack these mother fuckers grab him by their necks and you realize like an eagle has like they have like five knives in each hand yeah you know how many calls they have i don't know feet five i don't know for the school school
the lights look and see on the internet but they basically they have some fucking wolverine type weapon and they just grab the neck of this wolf and just fuck him up man yeah but it's not just that it seems like they get him by the neck they plunge their beak into on the wrist yeah there because of murderous weapon yeah a source notes stone when i watch birds that i the blonde chick was so hot in that movie that i was like online trying to find out if she was alive is that we thought like leg talking somebody that was so desirable back in the day and then still fucking her just who just used to be this is a lot of guys are still doing that i would fuck that did you ever watch celebrity rehab this season i think so you know janice dickinson she's that model whose seems like a troubled lady i'm sure she's a nice person but she's got a lot of issues and she's always like fucked up and rehab and just got a lot of plastic surgery and just got this
young boyfriend and this boyfriend is like really not a very good looking guy who shouldn't be with janice dickinson you know jen frequency was twenty there's no way she be with this fucking dude but you know he's thirty and she's fifth or whatever the fuck she is and he's you know he's with janice dickinson he's got that uh plastic surgery face that old droop she's got like early 80s plastic surgery where they hadn't it hadn't evolved worth that's our faces kind of falling off that blonde chick's daughter was somebody like melanie griffin or something like that too i was like wow really i hate those puffed lip now in people with such a gel in their lips a friend of mine's wife did that and i had a conversation with her and i had a duke avoid looking at it while while we're talking i'm like please call rosie you expect an alien to pop out of yeah it's was so weird she just done it you know never had a thai massage like to have three
and then a bottom one that's what it seems like the wolves have is a video online called golden eagle domination it's just eagles fucking up everything fucking up wolves rabbits and just swooping down and snatching things i got to see for a few of those i when i lived in colorado so golden eagles they actually live there you can catch him in the woods yeah they're they're pretty scary man that one whenever i see them fly over always think of it just so i to attack me well take my eyes out this video she showed one just eight of fucking turkey and then one just caught a deer there there are some murderous mother fuckers man there's a fox jacked this is just a all there's the wolf hold fachmann watch his shit watch his shit yeah dude you're going to freak out man they are so big we don't realize how big they are first i look at this god takes the wolf down grab them by the neck and just kills his ass
you don't realize how big these fucking things are look at this man look at that he flipped him over in the pool look at that boom dude they kill wolves wow the natural world is so scary man there's so much crap eat shit going on in the natural world yeah it's like a big bar room brawl it's just been going on forever this is a constant fight but i mean the really nutty thing that our little pea brains is the idea that almost everything in the world eats and kills everything else with its face the most it way possible ram stands in with its fucking just long rips things apart and that works no that's how life that's how life passes on that's the cycle of life the cycle of life is teeth the claws and just murder and tearing with your face wrestle it down get your face inside its rib cage and eat its harddisk golden eagle is about
the mother fucker now he's pulling goats off cliffs everything when they do that they pull him off cliffs inches i'm on the wrong side is that this is something i've wondered about that what do they do it that's like a tool that they use or is that the back i just catch an accident happening well they do a lot it's it's it's common but it's also a product of the environment where they're fighting them if if they were on it looks to me to do it on purpose but it also could be that there trying to pick him up but they're doing it over and over and over again yeah but it so where they're fighting where they're trying to kill these things and fly off with them i mean it's in a crazy spot where if you go six to the right or six inches to the left you're going fall all three thousand fucking feet is this ones flying off with one but then he gets to the bottom and he let's ago so i think they're trying to fly off with them but eagles are such evil fuck ads that they'd try to bite off shit that they can't even carry they try to like claw into this big
big goat and fly away with it and they can't so like alright well i'll just see at the bottom and just drop it look at this this one attack saber well it's good for the energies good there you know you're expending fewer calories and that's like isn't that what it's all about when you're in animal you're conserving energy and we get trying to get more energy before you run out we are so lucky there's no more pterodactyls could you because that's what a fucking bird is by the way which people do understand is that a bird is a dinosaur that is the direct descendants of dinosaurs and they're the closest thing that have to understanding what real dinosaurs looks like as well as things do their own time did you know about that yeah chickens will grow fangs sometimes hate chickens they had a lot of them this was actually had feathers to dinosaurs that existed even in you know the the pre sixty five million years where the the the thing is they had feathers i wish i could accorded the time eddie griffin explained to me how dinosaurs
super intelligent creatures eddie griffin explain to me how bruce lee died once he told me he talked to me for like twenty minutes he came in the room and there was a hundred other mother fuckers in this room and bruce lee looked at all them bitches and said which one of y'all niggas want to die first and then they all we met him and they could not get close enough 'cause its feet in his hands was moving so fast these pictures was just drop it left and right but they had a chill yeah kill him with poison see they they couldn't get a car and they had to kill him the poison and i'm sitting here listen to this going oh my god and i'm trying to remember in my head i wish i knew how bruce lee died so i could tell him 'cause i felt like my leg of a drug overdose or something what is bruce these are actual death i don't know cause hold on second bruce lee bruce lee yeah how did he die
didn't know brandon lee first iran and we got like it was supposed to be a blank yeah i the person that was as a peace inside of it i'll see how did he how did he die die die die die die of bruce lee i should know this man death here we go bam i mean he collapsed in doing dubbing work suffering from seizures and headaches he was a media he rushed to the hong kong baptist hospital where doctors diagnose his cerebral edema so that's blue think of the brain right they were able to reduce swelling through the administration of manita whatever the fuck that is the same symptoms that occured in his first collapse were later repeated on the day of his death so he started having bleeding of the brain apparently you know who knows the man that could have been from kicks to the head it's very possible he did a lot of stuff
work and the reality of movies is that you get fucked up brock i mean not brock lester boss rutin was telling us about how got injured on the set of that show lights out member who's talking about member his arm he's one arm that's smaller than the other arms we just had i just did a movie with him i just did this here comes the boom movie so it's hanging out with him for a couple of weeks and he had surgery where they open up his nerve canals because his nerves were compressed and they like feed his muscles in his arms stopped working correctly yeah it's pretty fucking shit man this is all from just stunt work just doing his own stunts on this this tv show course and bruce lee was you know he was doing movie swear dudes were swinging sticks at him and numb chucks and throw in kicks at his head and punches guess what man shit slips and things happen man did you see that tweet someone sent to us about i think it was in the uk this
when slapped a dj on a bet and killed him she punched him oh she punched him for five dollars five bucks yeah and i dropped him in in santa monica in front of o'briens a guy pushed in the guy down killed him he hit his head or he went into a coma he fell on the sidewalk and just want to come when they're trying to find the my buddy my buddy long island and he was is a stand up comic he was a bouncer at the time you know what it was like you know for for extra money and one of the guys who work with just punched a guy a guy was drunk i got loud guy punched some guy fell back hit his head dead dead while they're in jail now sh your body is fucking fragile man you know i'm amazed at all this shit that i've seen i've never seen anybody die in all my years of competition in all my years of watching ufc fights i've seen some those calls though man we fought in a tournament once at the bay state games in nineteen eighty six
and when you have no regulation like a sport like taekwondo kwando thai has very little like local regulation you're allowed to have these tournaments where you have high school gymnasiums and you fill him up with people and they're fighting on hardwood floors and they're kicking full blast to the face and getting knocked the fuck out and people getting knocked out and falling unconscious and slamming their head off the ground and they have might have an emt there to watch out for you to help you when your brain is deleting through your ears and nose and we fought in this one in the arena was a thin piece of nylon like like a competition area that they would lay out was marked with a square with a circle in the square over a fro like an ice skating rink that was thought out so it was cement it was just pizza meant with a thin layer of vinyl which was competition areas so we fought on cement yeah
no one ever someone should have died that someone got hurt i knocked guy out and he fell forward any smashes face on this he broke his eyebrow open his biggest injury was his his eyebrow more than i kick them on the other side of the head i kicked him on i kicked him with a wheel kick so that was his right side of i said and he fell on his left side of his face got fucked up you know the thing man where like there was like a certain amount of time it took to run a mile you now there is like i don't remember what it was but that time keeps getting shorter and shorter and shorter as humans evolve eventually because of the ufc i was going to develop enough punching strength to punch through someone's face into their brain that's gonna fucking happen man someone's going to get the punch someone's going to punch like a watermelon right into someone's like a moving king head that's going to happen they're going to develop this drink they're going to learn the training and it's going to happen in front of millions of people and that's the end of the ufc
really think that's going to happen in your hand will up before you know that's that they said about the mile there like people have gotten a lot better at taking it to people got much better at throwing punches they got better at taking punches too there's a certain amount of pounds that it would take to punch through a human someone knows that there's a certain amount of pounds in the same way there is a certain amount of time they thought someone could run a mile right someone is going to turn someone's head into a fucking glove on front of millions of people it's going to worst sound you ever heard in your life we'll hear rogan so our here is scream everyone will scream and this guy i'll just be looking down and it will look like his fucking fist is in a strawberry pie right through someone face that's going to happen then and then the ufc they're going to have to start wearing like helmets or something well that was one of the proposals people have proposed helmets steve proposed all sorts of crazy thing helmets like motorcycle motorcycle our dog well i think they were thinking about like contact sports like football like football players have to have helmets
it is kind of statistically proven at least when in comparison with rugby which is a pretty god damn violent game that rugby players suffer less brain trauma than football players do because football players because there during those helmets they just feel like they can just charge right the fuck out you and smash heads where is you know there's a real repercussion for bone to bone contact head to head but that man just gives you that feeling of protection but what doesn't get protected is the brain the brain inside rattles around like a fucking like jumping beans it's like a little sack of jello there was a tie to the walls with thin string and then snap snap slosh slosh think how strong the brain is there like imagine if like you like you punched your hard drive it would never work again it's like our brains get slammed around and they still work yeah it's amazing how much trauma brain contained by the way man if they start making people wear football helmets for the ufc it will be the funniest sport on a planet to see god
is in speedos being a boring answer cycle helmets that's the weirdest looking well when then someone will rupture someone's liver with a kick in the body armor in tournaments we used to have to wear these body things these like chest protectors because they thought people kick too hard to the body with certain kicks you still even though detector on your fucked if something hits with turning sidekick to the body with a chest protector on that's not good enough sign up protection like you huh pads for someone you know if you hold my tie there like a big pad and you know you slam into him and still some guys where they kill you hold that shit for boss rutin he'll kick right through that pad it'll fucking hurt man an that's a big thick pad these thing about that little ass thin thing that they put on their body in taekwondo tournaments if someone in a shin kick like a roundhouse kick that they would do to a type at is nothing compared to like a spinning kick when you can speak in your body and really get that that fucking that torque into with a turning sidekick it's just there's so much power that could be
developed by martial arts techniques it is kind of amazing notes over died it's going well no i think that is the ufc fifty years from now something is going to have to change 'cause it's going to be people punching through faces people someone's going to kick right into someone stomach call back in just a coil of intestines just raptor or we've seen legs break i've only seen one in person live but it was trip man it was corey hill this dude is one hundred and fifty five pounds and he was like so six one or six two is really tall and skinny i mean he's like a beanstalk man emaciated looking and he threw a kick and the dude check the key and his leg just snapped just like in those videos that you see online if you've seen it right yeah i never saw that growing up never saw that man i saw moitie fights i saw kickboxing matches i never saw anybody break a leg but
soon as the internet came along just let you know it all it's happening it's not often but yeah it happened and i that's like one of the worst acid trips my life and i was in college i was i was on acid mom with my friend and i was downstairs playing ping pong with somebody haven't the it was like going to be a star spangled trip you know where you get towers is like this is awesome you're feeling great we're playing ping pong card life is beautiful i love my friend comes down the stairs is face white as a ghost stumbles into the ping pong table knocks it down he's like i broke my arm man and been outside skateboarding it just fell in his arm and snapped his arm and then that was like you know entering into six hours of hell is my tripping friend had to go to the hospital and get a cast put on his arm so he was tripping in his arm was built at same time with joey diaz away were story i'm sure you know joey diaz was tripping when he found his mom dead ah
yeah i'll take a broken arm over that everyday specially when you thirteen and my arm break i haven't had my mom stripping your thirty eight is probably tripping for the 100th time two minutes thirteen hey if you guys this is kind of off subject and if you've seen it i don't even know if you can play it legally but have you guys seen the whitest kids you know pledge of allegiance sketch no can we play that is not ok to play it or we love this weekend because we're on serious now so good god damn it it's getting started airing on sirius last week so it's probably we get sued or i may buy insurance and everything for the yeah you got be very careful yeah i got a thai massage the other day was first massage i ever had and it's weird how how you stranger like climbs up on first they turn off all the flight simulator in your only in your underwear this asian girl just jumps on you came and see who she is she
open on you and just like rubbing every part of her body against your body and she had both of her hands down my pants just like like massage my ass like to be beside my asshole and then one point where she had this weird comma sutro thing where she had my legs up and like bit around her and like it was like have sex with somebody but not have where is at the end of it i wanted to fuck this girl and i didn't even know she look where is the parlor where is this this was just burbank that's the only reason i didn't get fucked so it was outside of burbank i'm sure that would have like sound finished me off or something because that well there she was pretty close though yeah it was an hour and a half of justice girl if you do getting laid out there go get yourself a fifty dollars thai massage and find it the sketch is neighborhood you can match that that was awesome i wish i knew about that when i was eighteen years old i would be getting one of those once a week massages are the best man there is so good
you should get him all the time i should i don't but you know what i started lifting weights really heavy again i had this guy steve maxwell whose is a world famous strength and conditioning coach he's your friend in in i've worked out with a bunch of times and he flew in just to work out with me for two days and it you know and to which he put me through two hours of incredibly brew bullshit like yesterday and the day before two days in a row unbelieve you feel fucking fantastic when it's over though you feel like further you feel fucking completely exhausted but your body if you feel like fucking fight do this if i do this two or three days a week every week i will be a fucking superhero you know you just think 'cause he's got me doing all kinds of crazy kettlebell swings and all these clean and jerks and all the strong man shit and he's crazy different fucking exercises but he said one of the most important things is you need to get body work done at
we do stuff like that you need it it's not a luxury like you gotta get massages deep tissue and even that painful shit that you don't like like you ever get for real sports deep tissue massage i don't know i don't think this check was standing on me at one point digging her foot into my back and it hurt like hell yeah massages are supposed to hurt a little bit that's how you know you're getting a good one is like that they're digging into you weetman most of us maybe not you but most people just take the worst care of their body i take pretty good care of my body but not as much as i should because i use it so hard you know that's why i had to take a couple months off of jiu jitsu because of this reoccurring back injury that had i could have seen call the rib head that kept popping out so i kind of stopped lifting weights i stop doing jiu jitsu i just concentrate on just kickboxing or like to hold so did very little weight lifting like once every couple weeks i would do if you like when it pops out it was fucking brutally painful where
in your chest in your back it's in the center of my back and it would pop out whenever i'd roll with like really big good guys like what i have like of crazy sparring session where it's you know you know me and some other black belt and it's just attacking attacking attacking you you're moving so much it is so much explosion that you this little thing in my back was weak and that would be the weak link and it would pop out and i would keep rolling too i knew why was hot it was ok i wouldn't be able to move right for another you know we would fuck me up but an hour from that i'd be fucked that's how it works man i just my dad came to visit and i just moved all this shit for like a bed frame and i was like carrie bed frame and you always know you're going to be fucked up because there's this moment where your backs like hey yeah it doesn't really hurt you it's just like a spring or something pops in your file something do you like shit then the next day i was in agonizing pain but what is that window of not well it's right but
the information sets in it's the injury sets in and then your body is going to enflame around it to try to protect it and it's going to tighten everything up an email crashed yet so this fucking back injury just kept happening over and over again so i said alright it happened like three or four times on the course three four months so i said obviously i need to take some time off so i took like two whole months off and then after that two months i just started like lifting out lifting heavy again and working out hard and in my body just turned off the around back up but now is the most important time to get the size and times are still and max will put me through a a bunch of different thai massage stretches too we got on top of my body standing on my back like pulling on my back while he was pulling my wrists and stretch everything's popping direction but you need to do that man amazing your body needs to be fucking your bodies pliable
needs to be manipulated and it's malleable i've been trying to get back into the gym again there was a time i was running five miles a day which for me that's like it's a lot that's a lot i was doing five miles a day working out all the time i can't get hooked on the gym again i don't know what's wrong with me i i've i've been thinking about going to a doctor like i want to work out the like i can only get you know to work outs and and i feel really great but then i just don't go back again it's so hard to get that did that structure that this it's very similar to the problem with writing it's very simple to the idea of resistance that was offered up in that steven pressfield book the war of art it's the same thing it's like you've come up with excuses and reasons to sabotage yourself and and not doing it to resist the progress you exercising before during a break up or something no it wasn't like it they know it
it was it was it what was your lifestyle at that time that was when i was doing that ridiculous show for fuel tv galaxy cabin log cabin in space those were jody is played a lot of other guys who live in a boat that was inside your nose is a your neck now he's playing he was very he's applying a fisherman inside my dead grandfathers neck the fisherman fisherman that lived inside the boat right it's like an alien in the way that he tries to attack people as he like lives in the necks of their dead grandfathers and their grand father comes back and i think it's your gran father it so it was a really absurd that was the best show ever i think online is website galaxy cabin if you google it did you have some of the weirdest ideas running to your fucking head
well yeah i they're dead i mean that's the thing though man like the trick is to let yourself make those weird ideas and it's it's like really hard to like give yourself permission to really make the weird ship it sometimes i'll see i'll see stuff rcv videos and stuff that people do like tim and eric or like some of the people are really out on the fringes of things and it's like god damn it man you have to have such balls to make something like that but it's so insane and so weird and if you try to describe it to someone there it's not won't even sound funny and it might not even be funny but it's still you brought this bizarre thing out into the universe well it's because tim and eric and do we want to do they either on what is it fuel tv or something like that over there on adult swim yeah who's watching you know i'm saying i mean how many people are watching how many people watching what they're doing how many people are telling them what to do their show is so weird you got to think that i was letting them be them you know what i'm saying right and that's why it's so fucking good
imagine if they had if they're working for saturday night live and they said listen i got this idea for a sketch called dance floor dale have you still if you haven't seen dance floor dailies and gentle and please google tim and eric's dance floor day it's one of the most humbling things that i've ever seen on the internet it's good and so weird and so out there and so perfect in its weirdness everything the guy in the girls about the girl meet on a dance floor and they start crying in the both of them are real odd looking and they are and and it becomes crazy psychedelic with all these colors and we're watching it clapping after it was over alone alone in my office just clapping in front of my laptop have you seen the two terry's no that's something they did funny or die where they play i think where harm plays this they play like trailer trash hooked on glass in tim's tim is fucking ericana
vulgar and disgusting but they give birth to a puppet that this is puppet it's like ten minutes and it is the trippiest is darkest most awesome i think it's got the i terry's it's so funny but terry's it's there really man there what they just did a movie you know the tim and eric million dollar movies i tell you a dance for deals so good i'm actually scared to watch her other stuff because i don't want to be disappointed it's all good i mean did they definitely go to these weird creepy places like half the time your life well one of my watching but some of that is very and amazing brilliance specially like the fake company was the the fake company the
they use throughout the the cinco cinco they like any of the price and single the one with it was the single apple or something like that the guy from growing pains the father who is in it i can't remember his name i don't now anyway they're the they're the best man in but you know as you watch david lynch or like i did you ever get to the anti christ that movie i mentioned you watch any of these fucking shows these giant productions that get made and whenever i see something that's really vividly weird or like gummo think of fucking come up whenever i see a movie like that i always have such respect for the person who made it because they had balls man to like what is gonna come is this movie by what's the guy's name i tell you guys name right now you just did and and i think i believe about say the guy's name camo is by harmony karine kerin and just did a did a little video for die antwoord which you guys already mattie did this video for them but cultural harmony korean is
insane director who won documentary made that never got released is he was going around new york and provoking fights with guys much bigger than him to videotape himself getting his ass kicked like he's a crazy crazy one three z i yeah check him out and anyway gummo is just this weird movie about these we're like white trash kids living in a neighborhood it's awesome but spell it g u g u m m o and it's a documentary it's not a documentary it's a movie it's a movie had to move so it's not real it's not real hi i just wanted to really get that kitty eating some and then the bath tub this kid just sits in the bath tub there and and his mom like feed them in the bath tub like that's one of the scenes if i can create what is cool that stuff like that can exist at work shit can exist you know the normal hollywood machine is not going to approve something like that because it's too hard to sell you
if someone who has money in a vision an award can talk someone with money into like hey here's my vision when you can we do this right now yeah when that's when you go into a pitch never really weird idea all anyone at a network is going to think is like this will never no one's ever going to watch this even if in your mind you have this pristine virgin up version of and it's awesome selling really weird stuff is quite difficult but when it whenever weird stuff makes it through a lot of the times it does really good people that's why adult swim is so popular is there are one of the few guys that actually let the weird shit through and they produce just nothing weird sometimes i'll turn on my tv and i have a projector and is a projector the projector comes down black in the that it takes like maybe thirty seconds for the image comes on so all here the were words before i see the image and so it's like i can't do that why i'm part dog and i'm like what the fuc
it's adult swim yeah one can weird show add to the next and if my tv just happened to be on adult swim when i turn it on yeah it's like the play the game what the show is this before i could see the image duncan is i can't tell what channel it is until i see the image of the plate you're episode of aqua teen hunger force aqua teen hunger unit now our special they changed i don't know they changed the name what is the odd man it's my it i got to be on this cartoon which is my favorite cartoon and one of the funniest shows ever like it's just such a hilarious show but yeah i got play i'm one of the episodes an i play i didn't read the whole script but i play a triangle i am on the episode with neil hamburger place another triangle type alien and i guess we're inventing the cell phones that are basically in the future going to destroy mankind but right now they're just
convenient and everyone kind of knows it so like oh yeah that's fine i guess in one hundred years it will devour all matter but you know for now now they have a really fast internet connection so people are totally cool with it that's what i recall it's been awhile since i did that is by the way so true that could so be real that's what was in that kerswell doc that's the thing is like guys in the crease doc which is like you don't just the transcendent measurements man curse was this quite optimistic version of now they were nanobots exist in our bloodstream he'll every disease only live forever but then they go to these other computer experts and you watch it or initially you think they're going to kind of refute this ridiculous idea but they don't refute the yeah they're just like well it is an inevitability that in the future we will invent an artificial intelligence it's more intelligent than us but to think that this artificial intelligence is going to be kind to us and not just treat us like bugs or insects will think of the thing is a go
that it'll look at us as these like weird little like marla ski insects like basically were like cows and right now we're in the process of building a boo that's a nice yeah we're trying to construct this super powerful butcher that's what those everything it knows everything it's really weird and not only that the butcher that can create an even better butcher almost instantaneous yeah yeah you can go through fifth one thousand years of progress within months you know that's the to be really nutty thing about artificial intelligence is once it's actually sending to create its own artificial intelligence it's far superior to anything that we've created and i'll do that instantaneous yeah and they'll there literally we be able to harness all matter i mean think about they are doing this large had drawn collider simple little monkeys like you and i but with autism and much more college education they
created this crazy machine at seventeen miles in a circle that spinning these atoms around a con here under the speed of light and slamming him into each other making the most dense matter known to man this is humans this is us doing it image the kind of shit that a computer that can think sentiant artificial intelligence or they going to uh bother though is when artificial this becomes sentients maybe they'll just clean up all the stupid shit that we've done maybe they won't progress any fur at all maybe logically they'll look at it and go what is the sense of you know maybe that is a biological imperative of human beings that we've created an intelligent life but maybe intelligent life won't be under the same restriction
or programming as we are and then it will say well why don't we balance this fucking place out first well we don't know and that's the thing that's what these things about it like we really don't know what it's going to do but sometimes i think about it and i think oh maybe the way that alien comes to earth is not on a spaceship but maybe the alien is outside of time and the way in alien comes to the planet is it goes into the minds via thoughts of the denizens of the planet gives them the inspiration to create it so then they all start creating the alien the alien comes through
organic beings and then it's just some weird thing made of metal and wires and some super intelligence that we made but that's the alien that's it i think it's in crystals but he says the first contact we have with extraterrestrial intelligence or intelligence outside of humanity will be through the roof the machine it will be with the super intelligent i don't like that that word will a could be yeah could be may have already happened very possible we've already made contact with some something from somewhere else or that we're in constant contact with it you know i mean human beings we we know we've found tribes in brazil that are isolated from us and we have tried to stay as far back as sure that's the that's what they do they try not to interfere you know they can find them online as photographs of on this tribe they're covered in red paint pointing arrows that have after pretty trippy well i mean that's the the at the state
and stuff you know that's itching sitchin stitching zachariah zachariah sitchin just watch this documentary on netflix about that shit and it freaked me out what's it called ancient aliens maybe it's a series on netflix i can't read the name of it but it's like this he's on the history channel yeah i watch it but it's good it's it's first when you lost it though and thats what just drawings i mean i when you look at the cave drawings yeah it does look like helmets and what's not cave drawings that you have to worry think about it's the mesopotamian stuff from babylon and from iraq from sumer that's the fast shit is really the constellation stuff the really trippy shit is they have clay tablets from sick one thousand years ago that show the solar system shows the and it shows all the planets in their correct order in the correct size and the correct orbit and it's a it's a trip because you know we didn't first of all there's an image of pluto mean if they at all those planets and one of them is in the place where it should be it was pluto know about
until one thousand nine hundred and thirty right and this is six thousand fucking years ago i mean this is way way way before people were getting burned to death for suggesting that the earth was round at the earth was not the center of the universe but rather no something else i mean with galileo and copernicus didn't copernicus when they object to house arrest for suggesting anything other than the churches idea of what the universe and how it was all structured this is way way way before that all the sumerian shit and for those who don't know what this says zachariah sitchin guy claimed he claimed that the ancient sumerian tax detailed race from another planet is planet called nibiru that came in an elliptical orbit and in came within you know mars and jupiter and got near earth every three thousand six hundred years and these people called the on inoki which the literal translation as those from heaven to earth came which is like very
or to the yellow team of the bible which is those who came down or giants you people sort of most giants and has all sorts of different ways of describing them but there's these this chris the fucking images that they had in these clay tablets of little monkey people they just black people they say a black person i was like wow that's an alien you know what i mean no i don't know what you mean is that they all have beards and they all are all look like like people that probably lived in that era they don't look like black people they look like weird gods weird helmets on and she will not much bigger than everybody else and what about the skull compressions that people did where they like try to stretch their heads out for some reason yeah i it's a very it's obviously there's something something crazy was going on in that era you know they there's a lot of the new a lot of weird shit and they knew it out of nowhere like it went from five thousand years mean you're literally talking about there was
you go you go to like six thousand years to ten thousand years ago if you follow what most archaeologists believe they were basically caveman ten thousand years ago i mean there was no written language there was no there this year there's no astrology astronomy i had all the signs of the zodiac they had constellations mapped out they had i mean there is an amazing culture that came out of nothing an this two ways of looking at it there's the way that they look at it the zachariah sitchin fans they believe that aliens came down and genetically altered low primates added their dna to monkeys or some ape like animal and made us and this is a constant theme throughout ufo just slower and people who are really into flying saucers and alien invaders they all have this medic engineering theme to it that that is the missing link in quotes the differences separates us from from lower hominids
there's like there's that there's that yeah i fucking leap between us in any of the other monkeys i mean there's no there is no god damn it's not nothing close to us all the other apes are nothing like we are so fucking advanced in comparison we were amazed that we can teach a champ to spell its name for a piece of candy you know i'm saying but you know what if we to a village in some champ was sitting there with the cell phone the made out of a coconut you'd be like what what what what won't hold this trip down holding down you know track track i'm frank i'm and they generate kevin gage is making his own from his own cell phone you know we would freak the fuck out if we know we had a champ to figured out how to make his own house and built the car we would arrest that champ if you attempt get out how to build his own cars and he's out there in the forest you know with all these other chimps to melt down metal and they're hit hammers and flattening out and building shields would be like whoa what the fuck is going on primitive primitive primitive
human shit we would never allow in chimpanzee can you imagine like a champ started building castles fuck that exactly but it does the narrows yeah jim said bows and arrows and start hunting other champs we would tell them we would lock them up there's no way would let that go down but you know this this idea that that human beings at one point time were like that that we were some sort of a lower animal like that and slowly evolved and then rocket it ahead of everybody else the big question is how did that happen i think probably would happen who the fuck the ancient alien theory to me is possible to me the way i look at it if there are humans and there are monkeys it's very posh there's something as far removed from us as we are from ants you know if this this exists this this model of the world if you just use your imagination and very simple steps and think about what there were going to be if we don't blow ourselves up one thousand
years from now if we do have this this human you know technology interface a thousand years from now we become like super fucking hyper advanced that is just as the distance is just as far to maine as us too do some sort of an alien that comes here from another planet it seems like very possible it also could be that human beings have existed in this form far far far far longer than we really true that then we we care to believe because the the current like sort the way a straw astronomers or excuse me anthem just when it when they look at you know that the history of this earth you can only go back a certain amount of years before things are just total guesswork you know and for beings when you talk about ancient civilizations when those
anthropologist sit down and try to study clay pieces of pottery and shit and you start getting into like six and one thousand and seven thousand and eight thousand who the fuck is to say there wasn't some incredible shit twenty thousand years before that if we're talking about sue mayor and today we're talking about six thousand years what if six thousand years before that there was an amazing civilization that had existed for fifty thousand years so much more knowledge than we have today but they all got fucked up asteroids or by shifting in the poll ice cap or super volcano artificial intelligence that's possible to write all in maybe allison we're all actually programmed right in the artificial intelligence eventually it's ran out of batteries and fucking died
right yeah yeah i got yeah it's the old it's like in mad max beyond thunderdome the kids have a record player and they figured out how to spin it and it makes a sound which they liked remember that like that were just like you know we're grasping at these like ancient we barely have an understanding right ancient technologies i i i you know i'm obviously much less of a skeptic than you are but the idea that some like genetic johnny appleseed style aliens that are outside of time and space came to this planet among he put some genetics into a monkey in a way that allowed that monkey over the course of a certain amount of time to build a spaceship in other words the planet earth time machine or whatever it is and you're going and doing this all over the universe because for you planets are just some kind of factories to organically grow this super advanced machine that we're all being compelled to build and we don't have many of us don't even realize it that makes a lot of sense to me
it's a simple way to produce something it's especially if you're something that's not stuck in time the way we are or if your life span is millions and millions of years then why it sounds like something we would do yeah it does sure if we leave all the other aliens safe we came the planet was filled with only monkeys yeah and but we could say let's take one monkey and at our shit to it and just monitor that monkey yeah and then we'll come back after the things created whatever the thing is we're working on but when the things created the art of super artificial intelligence that's when we come back or maybe come back at all it sounds like such a stoner hippie talk but if we exist and we'd study monkeys you look at call jane goodall work and all the fucking shit that people have done throughout history by studying chimpanzees and gorillas and people have been doing that shit forever they've been studying lower primates forever why would we think that we are the end while we think that something else couldn't exist it's far more advanced than us just as it
as we are too you know in comparison to fucking monkey swinging from the trees in venezuela we could be just like that but it is also possible that we are a slow process of evolution that keeps getting jacked by natural disasters there's a lot of evidence for each society or not ancient societies rather but ancient cultures that we don't understand there's a thing called the anti kythira an ism i don't know if i'm spelling it i'm not saying it right but this is the way you spell it it's a and t i kythera it's antikythera mechanism and it's something that was found in nineteen oh one any dates back to a hundred and two hundred bc this is before christ supposedly and it is this incredible machine with the degree of mechanical
sophistication is compara to a nineteenth century swiss clock and they don't know what the fuck this thing was and first they thought that was they speculated that it was designed to maybe look at first they thought it was a hoax and then we realized it was real they said well maybe they're they're charting the stars with this fucking thing they did really don't have any idea but no one believe that anyone from this date was capable of something of this sophistication like as far as like what we understand about inventions when you're going to thousand plus fucking years ago people could make shit like this but apparently they could there's a lot of evidence man there's a lot of weird evidence that trickles down you know it shows that there were probably some ancient cultures that were like way ahead of where we thought that's not i believe that the most out of everything
it seems to be more likely than the alien thing or that we where are we crashed here like like we were from mars there's a lot of space ship those people that believe that the earth was only a inhabited with lower animals in lower primates and that mars was the more sophisticated planet and the you know mars they've are absolutely convinced now mars had life and mars had water a lot of water flowing water and something happen to mars and mars lost its atmosphere weather got hit by a meteor which is very possible you know that's where all these fucking people like richard hoagland tweak out about all these weird shapes on the surface of mars and try to say yeah well no faces to say that this is a pyramid and this is you know this is a dike under he'd rude structure and you know for hydrogen the try to like make all these weird connections between one rock to another rock and they use mathematics and say this is very sim
within one degree of the the you know the map the way the lay out of the great sphinx is in the pyramids of giza in also who the knows but you know the thing is it's like look at the alternative thing to believe it you've got the idea that you know aliens came inseminate the planet were descendants of something from another planet or the more popular theory a bolt of lightning hit a plans matic see what the is that now that sounds crazier than both of those women it's not because so what is the you're saying that the aliens always existed and then that they there no one them out of a bolt and lightning and where the fuck i just don't know why a bolt lightning got thrown in that's why not look at it's a chemical reaction something happened now it's like a fucking look up storm a storm cause some shit you know that
tricity somehow interacted with amino acids and created some little fucking amoeba i'll tell you this if i get this choose between hanging out with penn and teller are you i'll take you any day of the week man depends a great guy you would like hanging out with you but the whole fucking like i'm sure penn and teller i'm sure pins great but i'm saying like that version that current religion that current idea of things is so dry and boring to me when you sing that currently what do you exactly mean mean i'm saying like that sign a cynical rationalize view of where at what how life came into under this plan at sea is so if nothing else super boring it's the most boring a bolt of lightning hit as he had some carbon and because it is it all meant man to me she is not boring at all that's so fascinating the idea that that happen and that it is an inevitable process that happens just with nature if that's what we're creates it if it's you know i mean
heads or water or whatever it gets in contact with some force i mean that's amazing to me that i don't think there's anything dry or dull about that a lot of the fact that that eventually becomes consciousness to me is just it's higher order from single cell to multi cell to this thing that we are now which is some an adolescent stage of evolution between you know conscious universal being and monkey monkey like arnold monkey monkey know arnold is like these like the the epitome of the the transition and i want to be the governor and he still a fuck monkey just shoot loads and is made just dream about him every night now it never stops never giant balls go back to sleep john remember him his balls i remember like this guys just taking it underwear off in front of everybody how fucking crazy it was it was one of the
he just dreams i've ever had in my life but it was so vivid and it's 'cause of these nutro pics i'm taken a guarantee you chris marcus who's doing with me he told me one of the weird side effects of these things you have crazy as many of them will be we we're we're filling out the were finishing our our paperwork and everything when the test my situation and i want to get a get you some okay so what if the podcast will will column will come september hello but all right so that's the end of the broadcast this is folks we're sorry we took two weeks off but we enjoyed the fuck out of coming back and we are very very happy that we stayed in the top two by tunes the entire time we were off which is amazing honored that you guys are downloading and tell your friends and all that good we got a lot of cool coming up we got a lot of things in the works click click yes yeah because he be tried rescheduled he wanted to move to friday i can't do friday i will be in vancouver i think that's going to be tuesdays made a special addition at like one thousand am today we're going to do
either way we got a lot of other stuff coming on too and we we i can't tell you about some things but will be back next week i'm not sure with who but most likely next week will be monday and tuesday and i'm getting together with kevin smith next week too and we're going to put he's and do a podcast at his place just me and him so looking forward to that it's going to be fun as fuck i'll let you guys know about shit sals comedy hold tonight we've got a tonight at south comedy hall if you're in la come on down is it what is it like fifteen dollars or something like something like that yeah links on your twitter my twitter sounds comedy hold calm yeah and there's a lot of people that are going to be on who's on the show tonight we got our magical tony hinchcliffe jason team is girlfriend danielle and i think i'm forgetting somebody but yeah it's gonna be good show yeah those are very funny com what you doing you run well now i can't do it tonight fuck but he's allergic to hang out with us i'm not allowed
just using for the podcast that's cool man yeah that's it is so the uh dates that we have coming up on july first is the big one at mandalay bay that's jody's me narian i think doug benson is going to do a guest spot too and tickets just went on sale for that if go to joerogan dot net you could find the links and all that shit it's all up there right so it's but that's at the mandalay bay theater and all so pittsburgh on june twenty fifth there's a ufc down there on the twenty six so i'm doing the carnegie music call on the twenty fifth and that's what joe ideas as well and that's june twenty fifth in it's a so tonight if you're around if you're in hollywood come on down to fifteen bucks it's fun it's a cool little intimate room and we got a lot of funny people and we're going to have a good time so that's als comedy and we do that intermittently whenever i'm in town so that's like a it's a good spot to come and hang out and the support live comedy and then we fuck around and come up with some new shit
thanks to the flashlight if you go to joerogan dot net and click on the link on the right hand side for the flashlight and entering the code name rogan they give you fifteen percent off and i will number one sex toy for men right that's it love you guys thank you very much for tuning in we appreciate the fuck out of you please follow dunkin and check out his podcast that he does with his lovely young lady the lavender hour and that is available on itunes and also check out the death squad that is brian redband's little sort of studio thing he's got going on got a bunch of cool podcast with a bunch of funny comics our right scenic route
Transcript generated on 2019-10-19.