« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #155 - Dave Attell, Brian Redban

2011-11-08 | 🔗
Dave Attell, Brian Redban - 11/08/2011
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
let's do it joe rogan thanks for having sought a good voice preference through my son sincere too much drama delicious is a nice tone to tone of experience hi i'm joe rogan experienced by gas is brought to you by the flashlights chauvinist lock me it's me there are there i you're going to springs podcast brought you by the flashlight if you go to joe rogan net and click on the link for the flashlight and entering the code name rogan you get fifteen percent off davy areas was yes i have fuckin powerful product irradiated products are real solid product didn't get behind its thor's magical hammer pleasure it's the best thing for men there's been no the greater its way better than regular masturbation tibet and a legacy my name in case a discount don't be scared homie dot com and if you are also aware sponsored by aren't dotcom dot com the makers of alpha brain
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an idea that you can enhance your health through supplements and you can have your thinking through a mental supplement i mean i'm gonna tell you work for me and i click yes nice i was very interesting to see myself think clear like i solid like it was weird it's doing something you know and they d using the sum of the ingredients on alzheimer's patients are they know there's something going on with what it does and how it interacts with the human mind but yeah then the bottom line about it is there's a money back guarantee one hundred percent money back guarantee an we stand by that so if you've got a joerogan dot net and see the link for that and clicking the link and put in my name and entering the code name rogan you get ten percent off that too alright that's fucking commercials are over there to me to david tell us here bitches thanks for a ride kids ladies gentlemen my pal miss
david tell we have known david tell for many many a moon fro i remember the first time i saw you on stage to use a catch rising star new york that was in fact it was like while ninety one or simple idea that place is long gone what i'm great little spirals eric you're telling me that was weird about that club was there was a goddamn mirror behind you see look at yourself when you run stage remember a gear i yet across at a mere so why you on stage you you see yourself like who who's huge mirror was ridiculous did you catch yourself like acting imposing and do something i thought i felt excitement in my manager's awesome and he called me on what do you look at yourself in the mirror i think everyone would do that you could see yourself bombing watch your own dream implode on a cloud that's going to be a nightmare for stage watch yourself bomb yeah only performed there a couple of times it was a great club cool little spot yeah
i forget like that you did some time in new york yeah yeah when i first moved there but you know what i was so used to the way they did it in boston so used to driving and doing road gigs then i would be like in town i could make any money it was like they were like you know sent was like not much money like was it said it like like or care electroweak day said i guess it wouldn't be caroline stipulate the comic strip what used to be like cab fair in our member states in the ladys early night used ass a cat fair and a meal and then now it's probably like twenty five bucks a certain that was after like a big you know strike that we had and yet for a while there there was no money that crazy i'm really think about it you performing and that's the only reason their open their open gaza selling comedy rwanda performers are getting money what i love about is that like the audience comes in like especially on it's not a headline to show its just like you know a showcase your words just like tat came in and they'll come in like there you know expecting to see like some kind of like you know what whenever like
or something and it's like now we're just all coming up here trying hard dick to pussy jokes you know in china like build material and they get really disappointed in like we're making like you know then you are if you were a lover on african mexican diet asia so yeah it's added that happen have become such a club owner centric environment part of its like earning your bones you know how to iraq and i like first of all like like my first ten years debatable what i whether i deserve to be paid or not you know those lights up sir touch and go hazy i got i agree i know their feelings ox yeah then like there's you know then once you finally like realise that like you know your power you know you know how to do it and then you like i can't believe you knows this is like slavery
just pure slavery yeah well i guess for a certain level for a guy like you it becomes well you need a place to workout you don't need the money you know i don't need your fifteen dollars or whatever so i don't mind doing it for free but when you were starting out menu we're just going all around new york that was how you're making a living yeah that's the whole thing you're right so it's like it was like five big clubs you try and bounce from set to set to set and do do his magic especially on the weekend and you rock out maybe six hundred bucks you know i know that would be like old man says i can't believe it i'm gonna but then you boy it all out on booze and should have an email so it was like i had to get a net loss what's the most amount of sense you've ever done in the night i think i don't hold the record for in new york city the most amount but i think the record is thirteen to fifteen with prom shows his during the prom season they would really kind of am but i think i probably
like ten to twelve and one night i did prompt shows with auto enjoy wow that's weird al lubel oh yeah really crazy because what they did was they never took anybody out so what they told you they would recycle the comedians you would do like one slash two an hour set i think it was a half an hour it was a good long set and then the other guy would go on after you have now and then they'd have four people on the show and then they wanted you to come back on for the next show and it was exact same crowd so what they said is you have to do the same material you have to do the same material because if you do yeah because if you do new material they're going to ok so even though you know it's the same crowd as i will they didn't even they didn't know who is who it was like a
least i like they pushed these pigs right this time they do know who was one from one show who was from another show so their way of dealing with all these unruly kids was just keep pushing more in there it was insane total health code violations and the shows went all night you would do a show at six hundred pm i didn't mean auto in george did one once i remember we did a show and we started out at like you started out when it gets dark and it was actually probably before it got dark and we were done at like six in the morning man it was like bright out when we left the club that's the beauty of it well i can't believe you said you did prompt shows with auto in george can you think about it that's like it was awesome because the filthiest dirtiest in the puppet world he is hitler so evil and these poor kids these sixteen year old yeah these twilight kids they're coming down and they're like getting old can only about the the slurpee joke that really must have hit hard that night you know that's his
but there are yeah caves arms guy he's got some grape fuckin lines i remember the people don't get it though it's like it's not about him faking now he's really doing this his lips move man i mean he no he's like come on we playing games he knows the bucket bucket so he doesn't like do a good job of like so like these kids were young i see your lips moving i see your lips moving dumb kids will like heckling him they weren't getting them the majesty of the auto in george experience they were too young too young and dumb there like others guys bad i can see his lips moving circle because in new york when we when we got that wave of like boston guys like you louis ck nicht apollo you know that was like like the new start of com because i remember like but you know the old 80s comedy and i'll like i'm not going to name names but just like all the sweater comics the guys would come up there and end with like a rap tune you like crazy
two and then it was over they do some kind of like impression that was a bill cosby is like yeah but then like when you guys came in then it became like the nuwave comedy and that's that was school i was really like when it started again i thank you our committee was dead dead in a year will turkey becomes waves when it becomes a community but we were the last guys from the boston community really sir and patrice were like the last guy i know there's still some really funny guys they have been there i ve seen from the funny up and coming guys but for whatever reason and not getting the kind of attention that the younger guys got in a bag of it it doesn't seem like the scene is like dance as basel ii alec next calmly stop it kind of still around but stitches is gone and the you know the improper gonna duck soup to connections gone the connection is now a giant theater you know so it's like guys are kind of forced i know tim mcintyre has a room somewhere in faneuil hall i think it's a small room with one hundred cedar i'm sure that's really good
and is that chinese restaurant in cambridge contemplated maybe i did it once other than that it's like boss is not it's not what it used to be it used to be man when i started down in the late 80s i started in eighty eight it was a hive man johno jonathan katz was the host of the open mic night to jonathan katz brought me up very first time onstage brilliant i got to see teddy buerger on when he was in his prime wow you know do you know teddy teddy teddy buerger on for lazy gentlemen don't know might have been one of the most brilliant the best timing i've never seen a comic with better timing than teddy buerger on casual relaxed would hit the punch line and you do it one point you'd be laughing at another point you'd gone god damn this mother fuck loud god damn he's good that about the boston guys like you know cause i similar bunch on long island is that like the boss
not only fearless but they also were like intelligent and they they could really quickly switch from like rowdy drunk college crowd to like more of a to get a crowd whereas on long island we were basically county people you know and it will be like a couple of like you know like pg13 acts but then the rest of us were like just dirty drunk you know like how many you know i think every community needs someone who's really good to show you how the fuck to do it yeah boston had steve sweeney done gavin lenny clarke legend yellow legend kenny rogers and they just had all these animals don gavin is a fucking savage when he was younger man honestly yeah damn he was good those guys were like i don't know like fighters because i as good as they want stage of stage they were better in terms of volume or is it was just like you out it was an ordinary morale they were the real deal listen zone when we get a comic like that you don't get it i would like to add three yoga
did you get a couple of guys so fucking that's a guy who's living a real life i lenny clarke i fucking love lenny clarke he's like one of the funniest old school boston guys and i got a chance to work with him on this movie was telling the story but my old days joe back when i was doing blow he goes one day i woke up i was in the fucking bahamas because i have no idea i got to the bahamas i was i was partying i was hanging out in new york next thing you know boom i'm in the fucking bahamas i woke up i looked at the beach i thought it was on long island oh that's brother he's brilliant it's amazing those guys are alive cause yeah i mean it's just uh unfortunately ticket to a level kevin knox isn't we lost him recently love that guy he was another one another wild fungi we've lost so many good guys in the last three years i would say it's just it's so sad and depressing it's terrifying
no you look around new york i address eyes and i take vitamins very important burn the brain healthy can the brain stem brain pills an alphabet furious masturbation this is the best way to keep your prostate healthy you things are issued loads yeah that's when did the prostate such rotting off last summer shoot unloads they think it's preventative measure i'm usually like a two to a day guy you know what it s little one to get to sleep wanted just be alive you're the one who's the alive i feel alive nothing so ass i am i am i a cognizant person or if you wake up at nine and you want to get an extra two our sleep sprang one offered the odds ambient that one of the worst that way for women it doesnt seem seems out at all and orgasms they get energy yes they wanna go do something they what i'd just run around i can look it's just amazing they beat us at every battle there is no they have already and they have ever be they grow humans in sight of them they have to be crafting adaptable
take care of those little humans i do know that women like with the with the vibrator and i'm sure you must talk about endlessly on they cause you're crowded school you know sometimes like i'll talk about vibrating hunts asian like you feel like the people tight nothing like it is this the scarlet letter or something am i dislike appeared in community ears like vibrator you know they're like someone unmet like dwayne reed or tat he s now it's not like it's a big you have to go into like a shack and see i see a guy with it you know i pathway you lookin for like right out there like you know whatever it's a funny thing that it's funny home be embarrassed about four i think it's ridiculous all sex toys and all that stuff it's funny of anything to be embarrassed by beating off your being bears about sex
i've been using my girlfriend as i'll wager at masturbate lately really like you know you just do it so quick and you're like did that just like i just masturbated using her as it would be around like that i don't know it's like horrible person lately really do you get get lazy when it comes to sex now i'm just so tired so much yeah you gotta fuck girls correctly i didn't want to keep him around that's what i found i think it's very important to never do that it's very important and less and less like they don't want to wake up and like 'cause there's some sleep issue and they go ahead and stick it in real quick and you alright cool it's to be like an agreement otherwise you're going to have problems when you can just jump inside of her just roll over right is that what you're doing pretty much i mean like i've upgraded from the fleshlight to using my girlfriend meanwhile his girlfriend is like super hot can't believe it's stupid hot dude there's something about redheads they're just so you want to bite him
magic item right yeah yeah i want to bite redheads you know that i do yeah you have item i want to choke him i want to yeah hell i guy you're gardeners history delicate back in the day the redhead was like a sign of like whatever the apocalypse wasn't really and now it's like to sign up like a really cool time on chicana dude it's hard well lewis pulls it off well louise read adam bill burr who's on my saves all porn show he's ready sort of a redhead but he's small kind of a brown haired guy it's not quite a redhead he looks a little kris kringle e lately like really you know yeah i just want to say sam is l he's adorable he's he always looks like he's like twenty eight and i know you're older than that but still it's like there's like some these are areas he's hilarious yes we will be real lucky like we're talking about a bit you know being in boston you had that environment where you got to be in full
then inspired by so many really good guys but new york airport fuckin good guys to do but long island didn't not so much rightly guys like ato and george was absolutely brilliant while they were those there was a few of those guys that would be the road guys like i always struck me something different than some of those guys could allow those guys there kind of like getting by but just real happy just doing what they could is to get through the stage with ato like he was making art at of being the filthiest all how horrible things deserve the filthy is possible but are but brilliant you nobody cry laughin here he's doubling and one of a kind and unlike what you call it a whose guy you know character out of the other guy great evil
prop two oh you know i'm talking about oh shit he's another guy always plays jersey really cool like like chip chip coney in those kind of guys are like classic vaudevillian type evil you know like coke ask acts but a long island did jerry seinfeld kevin james you know and then a couple of other really good guys that it was a lot of guys like me but i really liked started in new york city like of the open my senior for your eyes and you see how they have been long island any community now do stana on i went and where you and i and i stayed in the city but i would go out to the island do rogues in the first working i ever did was in queens with adam sandler and we did a disco and he brought me along with government and when you and i brought me long and i totally tanked it and then we can the old you know we're standing under the disco balls were circled by these you know basic
widows now and there certainly us and he told her health and you know it was just like he knew what he wanted to do immediately you know like he was an act airy was comic and all it can to stop and catherine start he was the golden child oliver he was the first guy to make it on time tv and then as an element that kind of stuff in the locker when was it bigger moors on anybody whose was in that error and like a new york he totally like i you know basically there was like a cool scene there where you could see guys do different different things but i was boston guys doubly came hard to do the road like right away with us like meek little like new york guys be like forty five minutes only shared where we got used to doing yeah half hour and a horrible ball environment we did a lot of crazy gigs that was but there was so many of 'em the beautiful thing about being in boston is you could make a living i mean i was in comedy a year and i started making a couple one hundred dollars a week
today that's really hard to do it's really hard to pull any money out in after a years worth of comedy boston there were so many gigs you can you get em see these gigs lenny took me on the road i am seed for him just do an opening set just trying to trying to get the crowd warmed up everybody wants someone to do that and i'll pay you the bugs are one hundred dollars and next thing you know you're actually making one hundred and fifty dollars a night two hundred dollars a night sometime absolutely so when i came to new york and i was like what i gotta do sets for free and they can only do like ten minutes or something like that and like this i will just drive to new jersey so just drive to new jersey i do sets there are drive to connecticut i do a lot of sets in connecticut john schuler gigs ever do those gigs you yes it's crazy you know one of those god you now here's the thing you joe you like pure like really get the colonies the thing that really now that i'm all them in doing like twenty six years the thing that really bothers me the most is that guys that i know that i bring out on the road that are headlining head
quality you know some of them have credits around don't it's like did not going
able to headline even like a be room until like together tv show that's what sites because i was like headline in for years and years and years before i was even like an old yeah whatever a name and it was great because like nobody really knew me and it was really just me like learning the headline in that was cool now it's like you mean like a tv show you need line on your pocket well you need someone who knows what he is saying is you didn't need anything back then he'd neither he nor i all we had was like a little credit i have like empty these have a comedy hour and i would headline all over the country is really can really do that anymore even in our special means nothing because the club owners and i get there now you get it they gotta fill these since they got you know it's business yeah but like for these younger guys who like i bring out i'm like this guy is blown to stage a giant outlining and like i'll go to the club arguer like you must have a slow weak somewhere like you bringing these guys like work amount and the like you know what we never we can't afford to do that anymore we gotta always be making money so that really socks about comedy i really hated but the win for these young guises like i don't know there's some in the water projects part but dust settles promoted is always self promotion friends like magic son we know it today there are talking themselves we have a couple friends brilliant that have had those problems are interfere right a downright russell joe ideas those three my friends that they have had their brilliant comedians and they ve had a problem with the podcast straighten all that shit i'll show you gonna fuck and standing ovation in buffalo he got on stage and he got a standing ovation they know who the fuck january as is its upon cast that's why i detest quantity of all my friends that all these guys i dont get tv credit i think it commercials once in a while and the next thing you know because of the podcast because of into the internet those guys they they get develop a huge following and its
and then all the sudden they go from i can't get work anywhere like ari is working pretty much every weekend or is like he's a headliner all over the place he's a great guy too i see him at the comedy store all the time and he does it right because he's always trying out new shut down there he's a writer and he's pushing it and that's what that club especially in my mind is for you know it's just like constantly be working on new ships yeah there's no industry there was always this thought about the stories you can go crazy at the store like they would say don't do do you got some new dirty bit you're working on don't do it at the improv 'cause what if it bombs and what if somebody important in the crowd yeah
yeah that happens man if someone sees you dad i'm not see people see me when i was starting out were really no one should have ever seen maine and they never raced that memory the memory of somebody hit it doesn't matter how you kill in your next special doesn't matter how honed you have your hour they remember that time you ate a dick at the laugh factory i love you remember it too and it's always like if you're not hip to the fact that there are industry people and that's the cool thing about new york there's none of that shit you know maybe some guy will come up to you afterwards like rona beefsteak charlie somewhere i want you to come down and do a bachelor party it'll be a fun time you know like some weird setup but here it's like every person in the crowd has something to do with show business and like you might become someone right but you never know when someone in the crowd that could be just someone's assistant and next thing you know five years later the head of some studio and i remember when you shit on stage that tommy stored one morning you aid should onstage did
the idea had some writers from news radio come to see me once and it was a long set in the main room and truth be told i wasn't a good back than anywhere menage i don't have it uncommon for six years or something like that seven years it wasn't that good i just i had sloppy night so like i could have nights where i nailed it but then i would have a night where i just fucking completely fell off the tracks and into the woods like and i don't know what went wrong you know let's see how it is when you first start out the first seven years nights always said that richard lewis somebody the first seven years or like the hardest i'll push that back to the first and i think the first ten years just suck yeah this fucking hard it's hard to figure out what the hell i did my first cd after eleven years in and i'm super glad that i waited that's cool that's cool yeah well it didn't have any it's not like i had a lot of people beating down my daughter do a cd it was actually my idea to try to put it together so
lucky that because i could really something earlier and it would have been a piece of shit you know of abolitionist some old recordings myself and it's like i wouldn't even wanna poor land line is a goose it fuck like stanhope data he's brave stand hope to put like some videos of his like first year stage eyes falconer yet my is my guy i love this guy there's no when there are no no and that guy is this amazing but like all looking you listen to your like your shit because i think grown up that was how i that's how i feel a comedy was like wasn't cities in and re in what we call just like the five o clock fannys whenever they had back then and just like albums alike every tamassia stand of special you know the same shed some
dude up there trying to like milk milk the labs and he looks so not having fun right and it's like such a setup thing it's like nobody can ever recapture like the richard pryor error of life you know he's wasted the crowds wasting precious bucking rambling and every word of his fucking mouth is like a delicious fudge angel fart of just like wisdom you know you ever hear the old richard pryor tapes there was a gas station that was selling these tapes near my house so gas station in a little box of cassettes they would sell and somehow another this guy was selling these richard pryor tapes so i bought a bunch of a man i forget like it was like richard fox richard pryor to red fox theater i think that's what it was it was like red files this club i've heard bits of that i haven't heard like red fox is nightclub he's just up there talking shit just high asfuck talking shit and every other word out of his mouth was just to jam jam about the crowd was cool they will therefore the party and i always like everybody so like
we are aware of themselves like they're so afraid the laughing stock of anything you know there's a lot of that but there's a lot of cool people out there to just going to figure out how to attract only them but you have a cool audience i mean i don't know how i held a ruler gas work on the ground now and you play like some really cool off the wall venues and that that's that's what's up i always hear from waitresses in want of course things ever i always hear from wages is that my people are nice and generous the tapers love that that to me that is the ultimate compliment that somehow another of of of accumulated a bunch a nice people this is the greatest thing you could ever pull off or they love it like when you crowder good drawings like my crowd was master drawings yeah they know what the fund should do it big truck with more than a little kids in the first person i saw seduced and because of that it really being the insomnia show and he caught me i recording him 'cause i didn't i never went to a comedy show so i didn't know like what
like i was using the bands always try to sneak my camcorder in and tried it takes like lip or something so maybe eight dollars yes i'm recording it on stage the videos him pointing at me goes hey give it the camera turn out i wanted to bring that clip i forgot to should've brought that up buddy probably was fatter and just like all puffy i love that i love that like twenty pounds of booze on you know the puffiness it's really not the booze it's the burger and fries and more fries and then of course you gotta have a piece of cake you know it's late night out porn for your stomach after gigs man i eat like several people you know like when i do a two show saturday night brian i'll tell you what i eat ridiculous amounts of food where people they don't even know anything i'm being honest the waitress needs like three to launch give me two entrees i'm going to steak and i want to check in the waitress always leaves you know like like like here like i'm not done and then yeah
so i order stupid amounts of food after gigs man what's your like what you're like fucking guilty but what you're like waffles after zero fuckin' laptop should crazy amounts of butter on him to just slather that shittin butter cover that mother fucker maples here and i'm not really down with those belgium waffles i like the waffles they give you when you go to roscoe's roscoe's chicken and waffles they have the thin waffles that didn't waffles are the real deal those big stupid belgium waffles those puffy stupid waffles do too much too much let's show will take it if that's all you got i'll take the belgium waffle but goddamnit regular waffles are better what's your stays with you later i was like well you know 'cause i was professional drunk so be like you know lots of meat i need to me and like quite the booze in my stomach but it always came up like you know shooting blood and just horrible fucking just like how many times should blood i'd say like
ship blood for weeks oh my god i've shipped tina being kind like you don't have health care so kind of like do your own example analysis yeah taste it i don't know it's too sweet my own kind of maybe i need less oranges in my diet but i like all those horrible experiences but i definitely meet was the thing that would help me fuckin' fight the booze but i'll tell like now that like i don't drake there's something about cake it's like policy in areas like your stare at my try not to be you know like let it know that you love it did try to eat healthy i'm trying to eat like a which we call it you know like oatmeal cookie like oatmeal is like this like when you get like forty six so they're like oh oatmeal take will help you it's like nothing's going to help him chain smoking drinking black
here like coffee is good for business factoring why is it really from lads corona coffee i love this shit stopping drinking help the blight like you still billina i only believe for the economy of the jar troops for jack i plead for the troops and the economy we now job when you one you know you just sort of let it stop leading knowledge you know whatever its out of the euro that i'm a blood brother i ain't thing and i confirm my exact happens for weeks for me to say i mean i'm just amazing still alive and like the fact that like you know i'm so self destructive like my mother you know like she such sweetheart i like you too can i look responsible for her so that's the only thing that keeps me from my crossing that line of liking like for years i'm gonna have paid and you know that i'm acres honestly you know when you're comic and you're out their balls deep in the road it's like do you really care you know it's like you just looking for the next fucking wild and there is to know that it's fun
that is wrong with you no fun now it yeah yeah now whatever it's fun to have a bunch shots which some people and do my five and the problem is the next year problem but there now you get older right in looking at a mortgage and you got it you got kids and everything we know it's like i just wish boost in doing damage which booze was like we'd you did it you never felt the next day or five workers are americans you know we ve fucking work hard and we drink hard we and we were like fuck you we have the right to do i not yours you're assimilated reengineer booze you know some scientists need to get on this whole boosting and figure out gimme effects of booze you know make it taste like booze but to figure out a way where it doesn't wreck your system is going to be a way to recreate being drunk without testing without making you just poison
you know i mean really where we're so retarded we go poisoned each other aid have like so many good affects forever was drunk but i like i totally like we're all a lot of guys don't get him our dont like a rather stanhope doesn't like you know we were boughs and unlike you know drug guys we were it when it was about the way the union life well know a physician but i said i was a kind of crazy i thought it was a sit around and like this other about weed and like sitting on a cat and then also there's a guitar there for some reason and then now hearing a million parities bad uttering a million fuck and data is in everyone's giggling and i m going around like if you're hanging out with idiots and they get high mere in for some profound stupidity yeah but i think it facilitates thinking a lot of people don't like it makes you paranoid though because it can it's if you're not into that if you're not into looking at yourself it can fuck with you well doctor drew you know not to bring it up i love talking to you i know
this guy one after the other we have re i've i've watched a few times and has just to go well they had a guy on there i'm not going to say whatever movie star he's like his vaporizing pot and like oh yeah you want to see his name eric roberts eric roberts i don't know if he's on the podcast or not no i don't really have multiplied by the code whatever they got my foot down thumbs charlie he's the most he's the most celebrity to be rehabbed in my mind i'm like you know like if that's all he's doing so be it it sell a he's an actor
getting high is like you know isn't part of the i think that was just a ship career move gerbil career move i mean come on he's saying that he's got an addiction to pod so just stop smoking pot yeah everybody shaking their all shitan blood it's like reading the papers drinking a cup of coffee it was like nothing was wrong with this is one guy that doesn't have a problem they showed him vaporizing in this beautiful bathroom house that's not the sign of a drug addict that's how you should be looking at shack trailer park it's just silly so whatever but but it's a different effect it's not that freewheeling carefree i don't give a fuck effect than alcohol as well i like i like that i've learned to brian and i like it when we go out and we do a weekend at the club somewhere friday night friday night or lesson one shot and i think he said no wonder whether there is no way to tee drunk done into stoned really yeah it's it's too
stone to me is like a heart attack but i can't think of anything stray i can even make sense is drunk is like i could probably get through drugs i agree with you but i like that experience because i always learn something about myself from it whenever i have bad trips whenever i go too deep into the rabbit hole i always come out of it with a good knowledge of whatever is fucking with maine really yeah because sometimes the way to look at it sometimes you sometimes you could put shut off or there's things that you really need to be concentrating on you don't go out and then you don't realize how much you know how much is in the back of your hand until you have like some crazy brownie high where you get way too scared and nervous and then you start realizing yourself like the full reality if all you're the way you're thinking and all your weird experiences and how you process them and i couldn't really fuck that shit out of you and it's not comfortable man it feel good at all but when it's over you
oh now i see what's wrong with me now i see what's went what's been bugging me now i see you know but pushing to the back of my head don't you feel that like comedy which is like ultimate like especially when you first starting out when you suck right and you really in standing in front of a group of people who no blood in the water ship little talked about like it's like it's like a week fuckin' animal up there i'm looking to rip it apart an like but you're never's lives you are in that moment and like that's addictive to me at least it at that moment of like where you're like one against many numbers out there i used to get off on that and booze was really just a sidetrack but then in life experience especially like with fighting you know like here
like the high the intensity of that you know it's very different thing that's why guys keep coming back you know even guys like sugar ray leonard kept boxing like way past his prime and a lot of their old they all do they all come back and they get fuckd up and it's like a story as old as time it's 'cause the addiction of out there and winning in and they just the high of the experience and then when it's over there definition of self definition is all based on their fighting this is the classic example of the old fighter that it's always telling war stories reminding everybody about what he did and how annoying everybody thinks that it is they don't want to hear that back in sixty nine dollars fighting making blah blah blah you know those guys and why is that guy was like i somehow or another his life went from being this wild ride of intense experiences too mundane nothingness everyday he's doing nothing every day he's seen
these kids in every day he's getting the paper and every day he's nothing he's not a fighter anymore it doesn't have this intense life and he's addicted like is super high frequency of life so that go you know what i'm going to give it a comeback i've been thinking of in training i drop twenty lb to run around the block he just want you have that intense experience again regular life's not enough as i think especially i know you got a lot of like that runs a lot of you know that's coming up by the way veteran's day and i've done some shows uso tours and stuff like that and i see look at me in his young kids eyes who definitely have been like you know in combat rotated many many times i like they come back here and in it it's also real for them and whether there you know just like walking down the street or whatever it's gotta be such a real adjustment that like this could ever understand but i will tell you what comedy that like once you things are a comic book once you like drink the fuckin lifestyle echoing the lifestyle is like we were usually you only
annabelle hang out comic lung yedo that's like yours like your seek regarding that's all you know you like you never gonna go it's not like your parents are always like maybe you'll go back to school and blood is like fiat that's never gonna happen i'm never going to whatever and you know the fact that on the biggest losers loser in the family yet you know i pay the mortgage there like pretty so stoked about that's like on them was uneducated zero you know whatever my family but still i you know it can and do my part so i you say that like the lifestyle is the fucking addiction and the comedy is like the you know is the gravy because doing the shows man it's bug and i wouldn't trade even a bad one for the experience i'll tell you that like looking back in hindsight like the bad ones were like let's say you needed the good ones were like just fucking jerking off the bad ones were like fucking hard hard lessons like like batman on ice we had a fight you know what i'm saying yeah these are a few that really stand out i've got with some bombs like them
the past where i just still to this day i just go oh god yeah like brushing my teeth in two thousand and eleven thinking about it said i had ninety two and just ate some dick up there i would be like i would walk out of the theater and like nobody no i contact you know the old routing and then you please some kind of automobile hit maine or it's just something something horrible solve more horrible thing to think about but yeah people who don't know that i have no idea what the experience of bombing feels like i would say it's like sucking one thousand dicks in front of your mother it's probably worth it's probably worse than that because somewhere out there someone would like to suck one thousand dicks in front of him so that would be the ultimate naughty thing an amazing race cavaco arriving
one thousand dicks it's almost looks like when do you like i'm sorry mom it's like a hot dog eating contest but without the you know you definitely don't do it outdoors people don't gather yeah there's going to dicks would get rented it wouldn't be good by the time he got his no countdown either like exactly nine hundred and ninety eight you can lose track loads if i swallowed speaking or spigot important showman dave's old porn on showtime so what it what does it show you wouldn't what's going on you watch porn guph on it creates the mystery science theatre porn and eyes i been kick in this idea for like four five years and you know finally found a place that it's cool enough to let us do it showtime and i came up with the idea with stuart bailey whose exact on another tv show and we just been like you know having a ball like working comics great comics on it and just like legends when you know you know porn is better if not as well as man your man over here nose tons of born you know like seiko
like growing up like you now who burger this i was looking like some german like being a jew i'm a jew ok like this like so like blonde fucking super hot ober fucking chick she's like you know country girl from kansas now i'm not going to exactly which is fine but she's like you know it's a regular check nina hartley who is the kind of crossover but man who once yet very very smooth comedy comedy store very nice lady very cool and then of course ron jeremy who is like you know everybody's you know he points out millennium remember the first time you met someone in person that you had beaten off to who ron jeremy no worries at forwarding the worst is when you recognize a guys dick that's when you know you've seen too much pointless peter n like oh jesus christ the fuck is wrong with me i'm recognizing dudes dicks well
creates d the wicked little bill i'm fuckin foreign screen this is like the thing about like i've jerked out to all of them and like you like there was the jerking off from one was just like a guy jerking off like any guy out there like yours jerk off and then there was like the way search for the show jerk off we're sitting in my apartment with hundreds of classic retro hairy porn apes and like watching watching watching watching and then like going like ok we're going to have to take a break and like i have to like shoot like this massive like my dick was owed like my dick had been so good like seeing eye dog you know my dick had led me in all the right directions and then finally got to hold the ball oh my god i was like i just have to have to you know so you watch all this stuff just hours watching it hours yeah wow that must be mine fuch way
where did just how piles of porn like everybody that was always my big joke the duffel bag full of age s born you know moving from one important that an excellent like that everybody order a sad sailor you know the new room gulp what's is this going to be like but you know i love tapes and i can tell you i like it better than the downloads and under the download is killing porn but you know who can who can afford you like tape segura cd legacy d you know like a city dvd whatever but i used to have the old age is the age s tape so my mom says the machine to you know sometimes we watch the other torn down it will always come into the comedy store handing out dvds there's always porn dudes yeah it's hard being a dude and point it really is like the unsigned really for by ghagra ron jeremy said it on his show with whitney cummings he was like there's only like ten guys who could do this without viagra it's like you really had to like libya zen matt like like him to come when they want you in all that was like back in the day now it's like you know there's a lot of enhancement
training is yeah oh tat they squeeze their balls to try to keep i give the man can do like eagles subtler girls area again like if you really want to become fashionable you sit erroneous here that each desolate of squeezing your deck think only now again due to very if you just shut up tank gonna do a lot like account of twenty like the squeezing like trees in my pool area you bought like from the tank up but yeah from that ain't i'm just trying to squeeze that whole area thinking about the same muscles that you would use you try not to put your parents and you do that man do that for like twenty seconds do reps of twenty real zahm with that idea i can hang a weight on your cock in my trying to do the whole like you i haven't done that yet that was worried that would rip it rip here or elsewhere terror fibre have you heard about the continent that guy's been shooting in their dicks for us
i saw one guy yeah yes gusting to make it look bigger or younger saline or something like that sums it up to make it look younger it don't make it looks after woman wanna younger looking dick but it also gives it away give the age away the ball sack is the definite pin code on your cock so dictionary exactly handsome but it comes out if you got to that point it's going to get buried get buried somewhere don't worry about it but these guys they shoot it into their balls was insanely nor was it silicone silicon but his balls became this big giant blue
big floppy sort of water bag thing it's like almost like a like a like the inside of a water better so it was like sloshy and his dick was all sloshy it was really weird it's like everything was big and fat and plump love oddities that would be good like like when i was tlc shows and oddities you don't swear it's like i didn't know i was pregnant in the girl work coat in the house for like nine months is showing showtime allowing you to show penetration and things like that they cover it up with like a green screen type thing where they have like their couch sitting yeah i used so it's very much like mystery science theater kind of where they do a lot it's actually clips of it but once they start actually penetrating and show that we don't it's we should tents we show actual were not allowed to show much penises that was one of the very cool 'cause there's a lot of fans of this stuff and i don't know this stuff half as well as these guys do retro stuff you know and then
you know i want to see more dick or whatever i would love to show gay point like i think all porn is the same you know i'm saying it's all good it's all fighting the fight the good fight but like like we want to see more pics but they have a thing about penises there like on i think on all premium channels you know like you're allowed to show more huge than european it's for some reason i don't know who did sir fence if well dicks are ugly intensity but they just looking fantastically whatever but i guess the pain is you know whatever your left for like a second but the who jojo is more area of the vagina that showable especially if it's credibly harry and these boxes are like wow like pulling
hussein out of that whole despite all that's like that every time i would see one of these point i'm like we got him we thought i mean joe i don't know if you guys like her hairy hairy but i don't like that idea i dealt with those young not your girl your girl's gotta be like cleaning need for work but i like having a little patch like the girls i just shave it all the time i don't like that i like it maybe once every three weeks you have a little patch or something you know isn't it funny that the intense violence they show on a network like showtime on a regular basis like day like did you see the movie drive they'll probably show that uncut on showtime right does it incredibly violent fuckin movie some of those scenes yet there are some scenes they were pretty deep
that scene in the elevator but then ok yeah it's really intense but sometimes we play it because it's like any person would certainly won't show dicks well there's like some kind of standard thing but dexter which is like a really cool serial killers like we're seeing like a disembowelment so but we're americans so we're into violence but the sex thing is like it's amazing to watch it but it's amazing how intense the violence can get and everybody is cool with its never enough right the next movie always has to have more fucking beheading it like yeah that's why overseas like when you go to see you you ve done which has an english not going to stop there is impressed others of a like this a gun fuckin nut you know savage i love god personally i respect them and i think our vision beer allow one but i agree is like over you go disease and the like you know you cowboy blah blah blah and they try to imitate our movie and with their shitty you know whenever you know stories and unlike did you know i
shhh america was a school is as you seen these movies consider that disturb mall right it's a petticoat fuckin' strip mall fuckin' sam's club not stallone in cobra it's none of that there is no hanging off the skid it's not a helicopter red dawn it's fucking yeah it's really pretty tame here yeah but most of the countries you go to like they do they look at you like you've done something in america you're made us most countries heinous right now it's gotta mean not us but hate what does you know as a unit is doing well that's why the wary whenever you go overseas and i like you know some guys we're gonna like if it gets bad botanic medium like if it gets really bad like it's like i'm not going to do that everything go head to head with this moroccan kid who's talking you know i'm going to go bald
within them do not pull back a man i mean honestly i like how they always like make us like we we the creator of evil and unlike raised like you talk some guy from holland is like didn't you start slavery i mean honestly i mean you know we're pretty damn in america but really the way you the first guys i think everybody in portugal or something you know what they are doing slavery i mean who we just did a better and longer that was the problem you know you gotta get out and get out early hello did the romans do it for now i don't know but i i mean to have there been periods where there was slavery in the no slavery how does it work we're all slaves gnats your debit cards army should live it up and caught him up right now the mean when no one when slaves are fed and their housed you look at someone who gets minimum wage and you look at that it cannot even feed you and how'd you like you might have been better off being a slave if you could
right i mean like the weekend yeah yeah you could be a slave like but as long as you're not mean to you and they just feed you and make you work it's almost like they have just given you a job because most people in feed themselves and how's themselves for what they're getting obviously it's worse to be a slave because you don't have a choice you know it is really crazy when you think of the idea that you can have someone work for forty hours in a week and they can't even have a roof over their heads they can even they'll work all day long and what their their physical presence is worth is not even enough to sustain it that is so and true i was thinking about it the other day i like forty hour week like whenever everybody was taught in this country anybody forty hours that that's the minute people work and fifty everything they can do whatever they can and and and that's because like whatever like my brothers a pilot a makes like twelve bucks an hour you know
when whenever you airline pilots and airline twelve months ago never bigger alone but a regional airlines and like i always like you know it's like you like almost can astronaut do you know if i've heard their father of people's lives and using any you know there always are cutting back on their pensions and you know why the pilots get paid so little otto now pilots would be someone who you'd want to really fuckin take exactly especially like since like turnover is is like you know they don't get enough rest and then ok they're yours so it's amazing the disparity in terms of like income for some people whatever and saving the teachers like i come from like you know parents and teachers and they treat like shit and honestly i mean you got kids you know how it is it's like you know it's day to day grind you know trying to keep your kids on the right path and these people have to do it every day a lot of kids come from a lot of different backgrounds and they got a mail that together into a class
you know i resent you know that all deserve a pension well fuck i think they do enough yeah it's weird they i guess this is because we are forced we are forced to pay just more we want for to pay cops more we are forced to pay pilots more so they just don't get paid more we can't lose they don't have enough bargaining power to step away from it yeah i think that you know i'm not smart enough to like say exactly why it's happening i just know that it's definitely abusive tactic by a corporation to keep these pierre turn to what because they can do it yet and they know they can do it and people can't really go anywhere else goes a little told the man you have you told me that my ticket was gonna be twenty bucks more fifty bucks more when i
suck it was and you could pay the pilots a fair wage as long as it's not unreasonable i would take that easy twenty dollars you don't think all those people and just kidding everybody on the plane pays twenty dollars this but the baggage should go but what's that going for that was i understood it at when we're going to that gas problem that we're having but now it's just ridiculous that they even charge for bags if you have three bags that shouldn't be hundreds of dollars why don't they just add that into the price you know we're going to charge fifty dollars for a bag when it gets everything in that bag should be folded nicely maybe a little treat put in there with a thank you the city where the they opened up her bag and they found a vibrator in it and they wrote a note a little letter it said get your freak on oh cool and now that's a lawsuit i'm sure it's going to got killed what about the cat catches died that i think was an american or continental airlines lost their lives
found it was so mout nutrition and then the cat with like on life support in on facebook i got thousands and thousands and thousands of people backing it up and it just died this week though they lost or for a long time yet lost there was hiding out in the whatever where'd you went into the army always lag and this happened a long time ago the amicable way i just died this today we have an ago we heard about that penguin nobody seems indians rather than when the penguin who didn't go to where he was to go in new zealand they would like raising the cap releasing somebody kept coming back and whether or not i gave you that they were dragging their bid for a walk i was like you know because like one more time is really just fuckin kill him such as egypt does want to be bang when you want to be at whatever alright no the they found a bug by the way they found a bunch of gay penguins in the zoo and toronto and they're like people getting mad because they're separating the gay penguins and putting the gay penguins in with the female penguins like separating them that's not
and the people are man like you know you're against gays and they like now but we ve got a trick these these penguins into fucking these girls otherwise species gonna going to probably like it's a first survival of the species and mean not you know its survival the zoo species that crazy i don't even know that so what are they going to do like i don't know there african penguins and there i guess there's not that many of 'em they must they're saying and so they got people how gay are they know they bang a chick just for a goof i mean that would be i think a lot of gay guys would do that a lot of guys now why not girlfriends that they might get their freak on with every now and then you know i think that's cool yeah i mean if you know i think it's probably way easier for a gay guy more hawaiian coffee to do that no thanks i'm good four ways easier for a gay guy to do that the gaping like in gaza
the gay penguin thing i think is a good good thing 'cause i think they have every right to marry who should marry them and then they should watch mccall it let them adopt it's kind of do she did they separate him yeah i think that every ninety percent of every species that's ever existed is gone are we going to keep the penguins forever but it's like get to the future and the future you know that we all can communicate with each other with our minds and near where we live in some place where energies creed you know anything about that allowed it to all the time you think we're penguins things can be shared all over the place waddling around this supposed to die off boasted i love that show i'm not perfect the receive like if without people earth without people and we know what happened like like all the stuff we ve ever built like within years learn until it is like only three things at old survive like the pyramids the hoover day
for a while you know like something out here the star domin birmingham alabama somewhere to carmody club body bone jane survive but yeah kind of shit and i also think about like all the food we eat we're like choices that like people i can now porn and you know they made corn the way it was it used to be wild are going to be like fucking indian shape you put on your door for things like that kind of stuff that was like real food it was just like hey i'm weird watch out wicking crazy corn they probably were seeds that like no longer exist that probably had all the cures for cancer and all that kind of stuff but we'll never know now because like we like twenty things you know and that's about it will also we change things to make them more durable you ever have some heirloom tomatoes heirloom tomatoes or tomatoes that are made with those old seeds god
damn their fuckin good dude it's incredible today with a tiny or their big another big fuckin reno regular size and big and some of my even small even have heirloom cherry tomatoes but damn that's when you realize that tomatoes are supposed to be a fruit tomatoes supposed to be a vegetable it's become vegetable because it's durable so we've sucked all the out of it and it is paid old pinkish sloppy fucking thing that melt in your mouth when you bite into it that's not what those other old tomatoes were like the old tomatoes are like a kind of a weird fruit goes for delicious delicious man i remember when i lived in new jersey my grand father used to grow tomatoes in his backyard and they were amazing illnesses
probably the nineteen seventies and these tomatoes we're just ridiculous and we will we would eat slices these tomatoes and never had tomatoes like that since then my grandmother i had those an rhubarb and rhubarb lobby my like my kind of my sneaky deserve that i thought was a delicious but now i look at taste so sour inter meda rod i guess those big tomatoes the my grandfather grew you can't get those and put him in a truck they just they'll be useless and a day or two i gotta check out there though right like way quicker you don't think they go bad quite heirloom tomatoes go back pretty quick i gotta try that fuckin delicious man tell you eat me right gasoline me oh yeah sure like there's some army and then like when you go like and i was like in brazil was on my way steak down there what the fuck is this this is like really tasty grass fed yes like it's like for an enormous but you know it's like i'm such a fat sad guy that
i mean i liked it more but i still like you know like they know what they're doing in brazil brazil they know what they're doing just didn't meet the two has careers did you ever even one of those where you go and they bring the meat on a stick like they have a fogo de chao like that kind of place places are amazingly they they you know i'm i went to one of those in one of things in brazil as they serve like organs shit you went to those they had like chicken hearts and all these different things you don't deal you how did you catch the sounds yet nobody abner at my god i married i d like certain they put some sort of a glaze on in a gorilla you know everything the way they could get everything in the two hungary as they have these stakes and they stick like in front of the fire and they rotate it's basically sort of like a rotisserie thing going on and then they glaze it with this i don't know what they were
basting sauces i know what that is but it's got damn delicious and when you go to brazil in the brazil ones they had a lot of organs and shit like livers and hearts and stuff like that if you always act like such crazy things like you eat bone marrow you eat like there always get like liver and stuff do you always have you always been like that or is that something you got into later now it's been a traxxas eating organs weird white lam lam the other day and it taste like eating farm i think mean and median organs i love it i love lamb meat lamb all the time i think in organs and stuff like that it can connects you to your assertion that connects you two were you're you're you're routes as a predator yeah it's a cheap way to do it because you're not actually going out and getting it yourself but you thea the charge of it i'm with you on that doesn't most energy you get from meat though i don't believe you get from vegetables from people gain debate me on this and i've tried to i've tried
staring dies before i did a vegetarian diet for over a year when i was doing martial arts most competing try to stay in a certain way that way yeah i didn't like the way i felt didn't i felt like weaker i don't know this power mean it gives you the voting power some bad ass weakens out there don't get me wrong but but i think they're doing it wrong i don't know is i'm older now i suck at all this space and all that shit that i used to eat like burger like to suck burger very where it was club died because it was like you were up late yeah there's like three things to eat all the fat and grease is i loved it though delicious going to have a great time
now the older now you like you know you like go to taco bell let's say you know it's like a tree and leave it blows your fucking body apart yeah if you take some time off the cloud fuckin' funny or something something like i always have that feeling after eating a whole pizza in a whole year now really a whole year i was using that as a thing to do my show like we don't want to do the post production ok i want pizza or fries and those are like my big food groups and like i was like treat i was like waiting and waiting way so like the less jobs at pizza hut pizza party or something why is that lame no not so smart benefits pizza ever it's like yeah it's like i can only fantasize about it 'cause pizzas so focus specially like deep dish or whatever possibly as good pizza but this is way cooler pizza out there right now that in new york ny i love a slice you know but like there's places like chicago i think has like
yeah well that deep disputes is now a real pizza that's what is a passive role designing a pizza therapy so delicious yes it's great while you know when you get like a deep dish one would like i'm a regatta due to see food pizza with like the face crab and lay scallops in and lambs and shadows of your house's a pizza counselling casserole it's a goddamn casserole both wishes so whatever is going to be is probably going to be like i can't wait yeah their surprise i think i have to give up forever now because like private you like cigarettes amounts that are so badly i love you you don't realize it but you know when you when you eat healthy whenever i beat pretty housing but every now and then i'll go off to deepen you know you work out you gotta keep but it still you feel that you feel the fries we'll do the fuckin the bread chicken sandwich from jack in the box sliding down your intestines he feel it
a question do you like the song is this to me is each song by its horrible but everytime i listen to it i can't stop thinking if you like this is that's good i work how do you know that you're saga about jersey shore theirs but listen to that i went through i dont know i got mockeries all i don't know any music displaying today all day all listen to his leg seven these i live zulu deservest though is the lead zepplin ellison jimi hendrix i list to the allman brothers wow i listen to talk radio i listen to dwight yoakam lately that's it right for this show that we want to hear some new music for this show thursday i'm going to play it for me when you walk outside doing what you doing out so you can talk to your flock a very weak i don't know i don't know any music man i hear new music like what the fuck is this sort of really that's a huge hit away what do you do
talking about how is that possible do you feel like it's like yourself when you're a kid like my dad would always think i play 90s like that it is awful use always screaming absolutely i don't get it i don't know man it's just when i became just like every other person's dad became just like when you were a kid and your dad didn't get your shit you know damn the cool thing about porn which is like every has walk walk up whenever porn think alike i've been watching all these noise tapes there was like some really like just hardcore towns tunes in there if not like ago vivaldi you know like they'd they really these movies were really more movie than they were sex and they would have like you know that like ambient music and they have love themes and all sudden like a sax although with playing as a girls going going down it did dude so it's weird you know somebody has its image of the point of just like that walk a walker young are fuckin bullshit but doesn't
free comics joke there first couple years the chica boom boom think it's not it's not all like that i know it's weird weird came sort of a meme yeah well don't sound like a muscle in someone's joke and everyone else is just been sort of swipe i it is a lot of that in the form but then there's also like this weird you know just crazy you know like gory enchanting or something i was like out tons of the porn music because i like where is it from going to make sure i have so when you're watching these did you put him aside you ok this one is interesting because of this and you like market yeah
it really has to do with when we were doing the show of like he get to be on the show so a lot of these legends haven't done porn in awhile and they moved on to do other things and like i'm sure there's a million people asking him to do shift so i don't want to be a jerk often just be like whatever so we had access to do let the girls that were in the films and then they were here today yes it with you yeah yeah and they do like a play by play kind of stuff and we asked them it's not like a james lipton actress it's important party it's not like this like serious like you love doing it like you would love to do it so they know to hang out but they have to be willing to embrace their past oh they're totally cool with it yeah i don't see why they wouldn't be because it's like do you don't have any resistance like none of them say hey that's in the past so some of them don't want to do it it moved on in their lives and we respect that but you know the ones that do do it it's all celebration tribute to their films right like georgina spelvin who is the devil in miss jones which is people but behind the green door is like the old days
jones is like a way cooler movie ask me make us like a really interesting like hell damnation can apply to it really about the same year as the exorcist or around that time and i played in movie theaters and it blew people away and it's a good movie i think it's a really good movie 'cause it's about a woman who killed herself as we have in place like a spinster woman xl she's do not spoiler ok well we don't want some can't watch the whole movie but at the end you know she goes to hell and she gets to sample all the pleasures of the flesh devil in miss jones the devil in miss jones devil amnesia and emissions and at the and in oda go by what happens if she was spencer who denied herself and she becomes like sex you know she's awake and sexually and then the ending is very cool twist ending for porn movie or any movie which is like you know she spend eternity with a i assume it's a priest or man it doesnt line was the energy needs of the facts
you would know is very cool it was like before the x files weird drug related some you you would know this because you're so deep into that world at what and when deep throat came out they thought i was gonna be like the beginning of like legit movies where they show people fucking right yet do throw we never had access to because that's like a legendary film that like everyone says they own and i need really licence everything so everyone says in lhasa showed that i can't i can't the exact company who distributes it but the detroit is doubly one the movies at every goes to like debbie does dallas is another one we're right you know it's really hard to like locked down the rights to use that kind of stuff and i ran right use of step that we use them does downstairs had a great name it wasn't the best poor in the world though isn't the best porn but it still like that girl the girl
debbie i forget her name right now she's super hot and like we had it on indeed this is like the pilot for the show i did was the greatest name of all time though yeah like we had on robert kerman who was the guy who bangs debbie in debbie does dallas soup the guy lives in new york and he was like one of these legends who were like i can't believe he's going to do the show you know we like so excited and that was like for a different actually the pilot that we have never does he not do porn anymore did you stop now he doesn't do it he's like i'm sure he would love to do it because like anything else you know that was his scene but it was just cool to watch him watch himself in the porn movie and like you said you're right it wasn't great it was like a tongue in cheek and like debbie whether she's alive dead or just doesn't want to be found this all about her man she's like just super and like she's unlike her loving and she's basically laughing through the movie and you know just
the only if only gets your five year like it was worth it like like a nice pay off like the periodic broke lots of candy everybody out so you you you can't use that one now we can like i'd love to use this so many other ones so there's a few movies like that that are worth alot of money i guess yeah honestly yeah they're definitely collectors is there a way that you could license it's probably down the road down the road down the road if you doing a season two and season one successful i'll come on who the fuck ever it is it owns debbie does dallas don't be a horror with this debbie does dallas behind the green door and you know the movie talk about the devolution and those are the ones that everyone can unnoticed but then this joe you're back me up on this hundreds and thousands of tabs that no one has ever seen or alter flesh with sake is a great like movie i mean it's hilarious i watch it with jim norton and sacred and gymnast better than made any day everyday all day and like he was
he was taken it and like this guy like crazy scenes in it it's a sci fi thing and e3 extra testable which is one of the paradigm roger actually wrote it and you know he took us through some of it like a are we going what clip by clipped by clear we can watch in time of gravity just like you know how on russia however half an hour and a half hour i liked what should be our man that refugee made up of what their barrier may mislead you like one misery science theorists out where they do they do the whole movie and i want to make sure that it was different enough from them because the there with the robots were there looking at the movie we kind of like turn where we're facing the crowd relic we're different and we pop in and out and it's not like that scene like they used to have like really cool segments which all hot hodges right and he would have to run in with the puppets and watch the movie and then they run out and do like some kind of crazy you know like sketch
is like that really works you know and i want i don't want to do any of that i just wanted to get to the heart of like what it what i what i wanted to do which light kit stalking porn only it's a lot of us like rail in each other and then bringing out the points to legitimize the show and i think this from the people we got thank you so much to all the people who liked this stuff the people who do it i can't thank you enough and i'm hosting the avian porn awards this year and you know it's my second time and this time i'm letting him stick at a you know things like this time is it our goal foretell but it's like these people really do honestly they are super cool and the fact that they let us even just like hang out with him was
really cool so you you've embraced the porn comedy connection oh yeah absolutely we're all loners were running you know saying we're fucking warrior road warriors some sort of a connection this fucking evil and that's why i think it's like we talked about like jobs in security like you and i both know that like we work week to week whether it's like we've done ok but remember back in the day like if i don't get anything this month i don't know what's gonna happen we really wondering we should be doing this area like you know what what are you gonna sell that yeah so lonely comic books digital darkest moments like solo my comic books and still terrible you seem like a collector do like what i did have a coins i would find that's like the weirdest collection i'm making that noise no i've never collected i click pool cues i play pool so i collect like when you ve got it divides like artwork announced like handcart most whirling made by master pool to manufacture
do you know when i was a kid like a click the army men like a lot but not like the really cool ones just like cons of ahriman raises set him of having an amazing war oh really like they do like jokes i don't like the war of the couch in manila in the pillow else halo people when let they without my own head and they were all on like snow boards yeah excite set him down fuckin amazing benefits would be like all stuck to like one little platform he put in places may my friend used to get these battles where we put armenian on each side the kitchen and with a golf ball yeah like bowling where you ve been all angina each other this should people did before video games and what it whether what happens like every time like my parents would get thrown at their house for some topic they move they got ok we gotta throw stuff out you want like the army men would be like no hold on to that i think i know someone who wants that it's like that was like one like treasure from head to keep the army men they were crazy and it was like summer big summer tiny so i have to make up stories in my head of like how they would be whatever
that's eyes why when i was in the marbles for awhile money supply marbles illegal annoying indicates tat someone gets while i wonder if it might swallowing of embryos yeah we play with marbles and jacks jack's just designed so you could slip on one and impaled your fucking skull think about what that is little metal spikes you're playing with you could throw this on the road in flat and so it's fucking car but that's a bigger toy with little schreckens think of jack of all in jackson you just set yourself up for a scenario where someone is going to step on that fucking ball in pale those jackson their eyeballs my mom's i'm scared there are like allergic till a candy or something but it's not like one of those like it's just like something they d like gum i don't think there's a lot about my love like what what what are you wouldn't
do you want to hold the battery you know like where kids eventually i'm like i don't know what that would get you off the wind you know i don't know you know they're only going to be so safe well that's the problem these kids you know what happened today he's not a judge reminded today did you ever look back you when you first started out in comedy for all the years you put in now i think come what if i had to do that again why would i have to go through the early part again yeah i don't know if i could do it i don't know if i could actually do it 'cause back then i was so like i hated myself so much and i still hate myself but they hate i'll pay per group propelled me forward
'cause where i was was a dark place so kept propelling before what is it about comics and hating themselves you hate yourself not no more you don't know i think i hated myself when i was young yeah i don't know it's just hated other people too are you doing now ok that myself and i thought he resolved such a great propeller of four why jack though we will you try what is is the motivation to non hate yourself any more to non who assured it's just i don't know your weapon let me when you cited prepayment propels you how does it pal you the self hate does it propel you in that inspires you to not want to hit yourself more morsel harder probably i don't know i feel like it gives you like power of like you're just like you play some like what ever like especially back in the early days with a heckling you know they reflect on how we may now already hated myself so like this fit in right
so you would like shit on yourself whether you like it just felt good it just felt like normal like verbally abusive fuckin' like homecoming you know so let her know man i do you're younger comics so you probably don't feel that way you have time to feel anything right there you go numb is better than nothing bro stay numb you got like the super hot girlfriend and that's great 'cause you're emotionally like numb right so she's like what do you thinking nothing nothing at all how many i got left in maine how many loads left it's like that movie about time how many loads are left yeah it's it's an amazing number though how many comics are just have something in the back of their head either is sort of self hate or just had an intense uncomfort you know yeah i'm comfortable feeling about themselves in the world they live in and socially awkward theirs alone but the another fact
like we lose all these really good guys like geraldo the grandfather and you know even before guy you know jerry red wilson who yanza guy from in all years use back with you it was not a solving guy was agog party guy one guy you no harm experience meningitis is what it wasn't drugs or anything like that but he was about engage everything and i was like a guys i got who will like so full of life and i'd like to know what the fuck am i doing in other sky was like always have a smile on his face always know he was guided excited about like comedy and not being in a leaving it a jobs like i had day jobs and i was like you know i don't give a shit you know fuck i would say is this really weird they expire when you say can you do it again i don't know i don't know if i could ever do it do it again i think i'd like to do something similar thing comedy now like lots a thing or like something something loan you know alone fuckin some
amer a gamer maybe or you being a game liberty poker cunning do like you're like really get a poker or something and i would want to be some kind of an artist yeah maybe the common folk artist or sculpt or something like that that's cool i want to i mean i think it's all the same thing that thing is just putting your enerji into something that you create for us it just happens to be that our personalities fucked up enough that we want to be in on stage i'm just look at i want to be an actor is added that fuckin like i feel bad like everybody in this town grows up and it comes up with the whole feeling of like i could be an actor and like you know everybody can be an actor but like being a really good one like like a really good one is like fucking difficult that would be like casinos gloaming all the good rules are very difficult like i can only massacres i could give a shit about like that that world units on my world big being really comic is important me results as soon as the same thing for acting
for the real active but the amount of shit like you said roles that they have to do sucks you know and they can only be as good as what they're asked to do it's the hardest comedy you can do whatever you want so hardest part about sitcoms is finding good writers those fucking for sure you know i had a couple of development deals after news radio and i was super spoiled because i went from a show where paul sims is better basilian fuckin' guy i mean he just had a sense of comedy he knew how to do it he said he just had a sense of creating characters and the whole damn thing but you go from that to some of the ship that people are slinging out there and you're like well if you're an actor and this is all that's available to you you find yourself on some shity fuckin' schoessling in some can comments you know like some tuna half men type shit like i i watched one of the one episode of that show
charlie sheen was on a couch with some little fat kid and they're going back and forth and i'm like wow i was imagining myself what if i had a fucking say this would if i had to do this even if i had to do it for two million dollars a week i'm not talking do it don't get me wrong i absolutely would if i had to do that and i was like i probably go crazy too probably gonna medica bench near here he said there was rooted redundant but as i fear i thought that the average like you one is better than the other nurses really great chest but i could give us you know it's all set up punchline subnational whether it's really well disguised or if they were smart illegally housing to see what it is to do a smart they lay you help me as a lot of people i don't want you to help us they don't wine afraid of you could have been only an ad lib idea we had that unease radio we then lydia than the last season when every season with the last season we had a new producer in the last season of the sort of like cut down way on the ad libs what are used to be as we would take at a scene and dave foley would like go over it and
find out like what was kara was what wasn't working what didn't feel right what you know fully was always like creating new lines and creating new things and his legacy secret producer the shell he's a cool dude that's a great guy on genius here in real brilliant comic actor the kids in the hall like i don't turn it is like a big comedy show job but that that's an underrated amazing of sketch show amazingly i think that's probably one of the best ever i've got everything i personally and i never was really a sketch comedy guy but i love that show i was really sketch comedy either i've always said that it's like a laugh three times for not laughing seven it's not a good ratio you know i mean it's like three out of seven gigs or gags on those things are good yeah absolutely whatever these sketches come on if you can find it strong ending you're there you know if you ask maine you can smoke if you want i'll turn on the air thing i don't want to until i see i got the new laptop because i'm in the process of
with new computer think that's only one see that's how far behind i am absolutely this is a newer one what is that this is a g was it a macbook pro seventeen inch one i don't know if i can so with that now you're like a douche if you travel with a computer not taking it out and put it in that little thing you really do should we do that i don't know i just like everybody else down you know he's going to have like a droid i do still text old style using your phone your phone is redonkulous easy charge don't hang up on the old man easy fellers what time is it it is four hundred and forty nine
questionnaire is insomnia you guys released released the hole in the act insomniac i'm sorry it went in summit you guys really like the best of in some way but never released every single episode right on dvd or blu ray or anything like that that's up to the comedy central people 'cause they own the show but i assume that they did release i know there was a season two and then they never released the next season and people ask me that all the time and i'm like i wish but i assume it's all on netflix now so that sound the background least gentlemen you hear that horrible noise that's 'cause i'm oh that's just david tell smoking and i'm sorry guys death and i know you i knew you needed it dad you know like an hour i saw your face so you have a smoke cigarettes i know i tried it once when i was fifteen attracted my sister smaller than i smoked we with some friends she want being a smoker from that day on dahlia sisters most ensues fourteen colors things quit now pretty sure
what a while ago but god there's no way you could smoke and do no no no no you could in no way because you know i did jujitsu for like a couple years ago where on long island you know and i was horrible at it and it was like really but i really do wish that's like one of my big regrets like i really wish that i had stuck with it because i think the coolest thing that would've kept me up the booze and the smoking it would it really went really well tend to focus on in the most important thing it it calms you down yeah so that was so bad it might be a little too loud i'm going to turn this thing down i know i can hear people complaining on twitter already i'm sorry i'm sorry put out the cigarette in a minute you met their host over upon stars is on wikipedia like seven years before they actually had the show ya think i was working on the show as he was working on malaysia where that is
who plays in vegas the port porn star people you well you can't quit those things are you you're chaotic went now i gotta quiet i mean but i have i don't want to what you have to because i'm now like really old and like i shouted the wrong why i'm sure she is already wrong but it is really more about like i've run out of reasons not to not to knock wait so like i'm always like well i'm doing this i mean after i do a special or whatever i'll do it but it's like it's always some excuse and all my friends have quit now and they're doing the electronic cigarettes or just you know just flooding i don't why not when it does it i'll be right now what it really does help me do is kill the fucking many hours a fucking downtime of like in between like radio or like outside of an airport like just waiting for my flight to smoking is like some i never really get off on like hitting the gift shop or like seeing what new stores are having these fuckin airport mall so i like
is cool and then some airports with only let you smoke outside which i think is ridiculous since that cigarette paid for that airport motherfucker you go taxes do you want when you go on the road do you bring people with you or do you go on the road by yourself man i used to bring all these really cool dudes with me and i'll just yeltsin names jay okasan mike vecchione kurt kurt stir loving her master yet courtesy i will admit of no much her eyes a great copyright guy coming very funny guy and you know these guys we're like they were they were already i thought they were like headliner material but they won't like earn their bones and they were dirty like me and like yoshi comes out with me something but now like he can't afford to fly anybody but my eye opener for years and years was showing rousson doug stand up when i read both used to show on john is sick right now he's got rheumatoid arthritis but he's one of the filthiest prettiest smartest comics i've ever fuck like his jokes just in my head like sometimes they just ricochet around
he's just gotta get out there more and do stand up that's what i think we're right yes now filtered answer yes how jack flashlight makes an ashtray to you just out of our way of life how my smoking those day got two packs so that's why so we had done like an hour and you already started to shake and these people they reach into your pockets yeah you need to file are you needed it and predatory yeah i find weaknesses see shaking actually him smoking made me feel good though really if you want but just smelling it made me feel if you have you caught yourself down to i'm a pack a day now well that's pretty good it is now too which is cool yeah where do you get that ice i don't know they're made in china so another thing that are on it right people see what's going into your lungs oh god why did i do that other one something that you could substitute it with the grossest thing sometime if you really want gross out do you
rydens million times you take a hit of a cigarette and then you blow it through a paper towel and then you look at what it's just a black mark from the paper towel android might meanwhile small joints all day son yeah but that's not all night thing right it actually opens up your lungs it's good for people that have asthma yeah i think about as much mostly marijuana for that get it's mostly dilates you're something in your lungs and is also like it also something else that's really like do something there's tons of shared that's good cannabinoids all the different stuff that the way it effects your brain supposedly it's supposed to retard the growth of tumors and even shrink 'em oh wow this is a lot of amazing things that more research but your body is all people's body you know when you're your body goes wrong it's because of malnutrition has a poor genetics will cause stress and tension and if you could take any of those out of a mix things are going to be better and the best
it take off stress is weed it's a great way to take it off you hit that and just everything is kinda comes to perspective you know there are going to be ok it's going to be fine you'll relax significantly or you think everything for you everything if you go too deep in the rabbit hole but you've got to become gotta learn how to ride the waves like nobody is good at surfing the first time on the water you fall you fucking hit your head it's like it's uncomfortable balance thing you gotta learn how to surf correctly when you watch those guys there fuckin' getting on a fifty foot wave there in the tube that they didn't learn that yesterday that should takes a long time to master surfing marijuana is very similar you have to learn how to regulate the experience he had to learn how to just go with the high right
i have looked at the other day you you're whereat dice house in somebody was talking in your like it i can't talk now i just got i'm just don't think about it uses them about like driving really fast and that your car free to out yeah well none not drugs really fast i was just ass i was thinking when we got there we smoke some pot and i was just thinking how stupid am i driving around in a convertible what if this thing flips is nothing above your head like what the but what am i retorted i've seen very little cars before mc whatsoever cognizant of a roof but because i like that down in the wind in my hair what am i doing with my retarded that's the safe move but it's cool it's cool i thought you know i'm sorry it's gazeta parties the prevalent in calais and like everywhere else in the country like target get i remember one time i was like yours i was walking out sunset and
it is always traffic there so like there's like alight and like you i was waiting across and this kid and like some shitty corps that jonesy like movies like so can i like fucker hugo whatever albeit not mangled he pulls out bong and he doesn't hear at least i'm in the light actually sounds like i like you see that in every like harold and kumar knockoff movie but i was like i really saw in real life and i was like wow this is la puts it right now he's driving off to his fucking whatever music or it's a very strange playbook sharon old man with a pipe the other day at a red light he just like an old man just letting my credit right wow super classy well that's why these god dam joints of their role in today with those cigarette machines or perfect 'cause it looks like a cigarette join over a pipe yeah i don't think you should keep lighting things when you like them you're supposed to use like a hemp wick because then just dealing with only the fire and some organic material in the hemp but when you're lighting it with a lighter man you're dealing with lighter fluid like you
tasted on the pike i don't like that taste i think that's bad for you so i like joints alighted at the tipp and these smoke the whole thing and your good joints all day join to the window at the fillmore vaporizer they send this new vaporizer but i haven't figured out how to do it yet so when you go to like amsterdam you've been there i'm sure never never never ok well when i go to europe it's only for the ufc and you don't have kids so when i go to europe i just don't want to be there is small time and then shoot back over so when i'm over there for the ufc i don't have the time to go an extra day it's an extra day i don't see my kids so i always fly back home well maybe one day you take a vacation you go over there with the kids and stuff like that i don't know we'll do it but like the part there you know cause we also my pa it's free and they nails had hash and i think mushrooms at the time so like you can go in and do like oil
easy things in this little area but then once you walk out on the street like tom rhodes whose great comic he lived there for awhile they would host of a show there right it was host of a talk show which i think he everybody like you should write a book i'm like when is tom roads going to write formulas that guy had something amazing experiences for sure he's like one of my favorites and he also is like a great joke writer he's a great dude he's a great guy really nice and his dad was vietnam helicopter pilot and he reason as the way and i was like a big loss for all of us because i was always like ask questions about the home then i was like you to tell me shit about your dad that was really cool as brother special forces green beret dude at the different roads and life human guys i got you know comic compiling fucking great due in the other guy's a new no contract fucking killer
doing and i was really as like that's how come i want to see how was your day a mercenary bla bla yeah but tom is like you know he's you write a fuckin book magazines like in places like these and all those different but he probably knows where to get ouida anywhere i'm sure right yeah he's an explorer nina hardly coming on your show yes yater dilber i just i was talking to somebody better day eyes she's thinking about getting into comedy don quixote as yet we have run into a future death squad shall do schuman do in common i think he's just about article are doing their first said that night thursday
at brea improv oh wow i think i'm not sure yet but let her go on stage a few times now it would just be it would be like it would be like to see what happens you know yeah your problem is then people pay to see those shows and i'm sure she's going to do fine but you know i have a very strong opinion on people who just started doing comedy getting on stage in front of making loud that's always the big when you did it already done it in the past a bunch and brian took along time off once went up he took like fuckin' eight years or something about seven years i could never do that and then he went up in front of you have see crowd this is his first time doing stand up in seven years he went
from a sold out crown in atlanta countries yeah we three the wolves dude would have been a midnight show and everybody was show friday it s all about midnight show friday that was his first i want stated seventy thousand embrued report the edson because he had some good jokes i want to do what it shows an entire about monitoring i fucking love you grab my crowd loves you i've i've seen you wanted it we're dealing with every day if you in town at the pasadena ice house now i'm gonna guy summit where my feet was calmly shows disdain of life stated alive fridays outbreak adjusted new pledge yeah yeah places huge as that's like you see a huge free of seawater two camps there to be candid somebody i just did it and he say to that is the best club ever that not only is the club amazing in huge but they also put you up another the nicest hotel ever it's like a sweet like a mother chillun that ten be improv that's a case that simply improv was now a regular great club i mean unless the town can support that many people wish i guess it can if you have two completely different guys if you have like you know one show ya like urban guy another show you have let you know somehow
like bill burr or something like that i bet you could fill two comedy club but it's going to be hard runs a four hundred and fifty and one's a six hundred something to be able to fill it i'm like i can't do it six hundred a lot of people fly in like you know it's like almost that's what you told her how active are you with a social media i hate it but i'll ask allowing but the point of it is like you are proud like it i always like that like you would just at the town or you coming to town terms like you know it's like like in a year mysterious dude like i know you like like the fact that you ve these people they found you is great and like i would just like to second before front of a wild crags i feel like the wild proud is like the dying you know it's like yeah it's like everyone's on the reservation now this few people still out there fighting the good fight so your crowd is wild and i want to like talking you know you know you are there people i hope so i mean do it for fucking free man i just want to they love lazy booking
any shows you ever doing let me know and i'll tweet and retweet it and people will come ok now i just want to see you in one of these crowd and like i just want to see how fucking while that is because i know you like will not stop your like relentless you'll take it and take and take it so you know when you have an audience that will also you know go along on the right with you otherwise you will you know what you do huggin rambling you know that's what i sometimes feel like i'm just ramble you do find that most of the people that come to see you most of em are big fans most of them know all you shit they know me from tv but they don't really know my axe and whenever guy comes up to me with a city like you know i listen to this you know this is like a really important lighten my dad we're truckers always listen to this i love story i love that those that's like you like while there really are commonly fans and some of them let me and unlike while here i m feeling like a douche bag hate myself you know like this guy you know that this when i was in iraq and me my buddies and i we kept quote lines and it really helped us kill the time dammit
feel good like you're doing something but i think most people come out because either they like so tv show which is good or they wanted to do something and then they heard your name and then like when they tighten up on me then i fuck and take it to the eu play zen comedy fans are with maine but then the other people like we're not going to go that far you know it's like well hold on these guys you know it's like five midget jokes in a row yeah well there's always going to be people that don't want to go there with you and i respect it but i still gotta do it right well i'm talking that's why i am we were talking we were talking about this when it came up with tracy morgan thing came out alright and i was like that's a type of art form the going deeper than you supposed to go through really fuckedup jokes that i like the
i know it's not sincere these aren't sincere thoughts these are ridiculous ramble over the top ramblings exaggerations comedy and much like auto in george right about auto in georgia and we know and the tracy morgan thing where he went around saying that if his son was dead or if someone's gay would stab that little fagot right now looks like he didn't really mean that will start but he didn't really analysis yeah he's just going he's saying the most ridiculous shit you can say it's not like a statement in front of a fucking jury you know i mean it's not like he wrote this down this is doctrine this is how i feel about these people i mean i i see both sides that you're absolutely right absolutely see both got everything he's got every right then people have a right to be pist off about it but that's where it should end yes it is comedy club and if anything he should go like you know what i'm going to say something that fucking explode
and whenever it better be funny and my whole thing it's like right what are you going to say but make it is pointless for composite otherwise these people do have a point you see there are like being hateful or you know you just being abusive and i get it but like a lot of it is exploring the fuckin like how far these are you going to do it and there is like there is like a self fuckin jargon after you know like i'm going to stand over the ultimate guy like you know he will take the boy where you're like either you're fucking uncomfortable with how you're laughing at this uncomfortable fuck a moment of here is sick fuck and twisted life or europe you're just like you know i cannot this guy is saying that in charge even may and i felt like i was on chargeable cohesion underwent a hates himself i have it here he's he's perfect brilliant these perfect i think he's as parties want my favorite things from one zero people had ever met that's one way to get to the point was eyes fastened salary fuckin thing and is not enough
i can say is like what do i do i am i repeat myself and then go up and crush volume just find some new angle for some new idea and he's like you said he's out there really doing it for reals you told me like you know like like i would check jokes like you know i was like a like fanatical which i think you're like you know nobody's doing this or like have you heard on like that stand up i always call him and i'd be like do you have like a you know like you were saying you have a bit worried that you might have heard yeah so check with your buddies and see if they have anything you know you trying like at least fit
route that like you know it seems weird right yeah if it's too perfect like why do i feel like i've heard this yet you can't remember if you have it gets blurry and it bothers you too like when you're like i hope i didn't hear this 'cause i don't want to actually bothers me because i know the people talking shit about people that have stole jokes right and like you know there's a lot of there's a lot of gray area in the whole like whose bid is it but like when you hear it like word for word it's basically it's when you know a guy like there's a few guys where you know that the only bits that they have there any good or the her bedside people rise and they have other bedstead aren't like anybody else bids bits and their fucking terrible that's when you can really tell well i just know they're like do when i would stan open i gotta give anything like a unicorns fuckin grape soda you like why
it's like nobody thinks that way i don't do jokes anymore man i don't know what i do up there it's true he's like as he just goes up there and just starts yeah i can doing these thoughts yeah they love him in england and that you'll find out like they're pretty purest with the comedy of their great over there yeah i only do it every now and then but i just did birmingham did this past weekend's fucking amazing man is the nicest most polite crowd ever sometimes it's what do you like that the item i agree but there was writing one guy sort of kind of heckled the disorder yeltsin at a level that was actually fun i'm not going to sit there and a programme like over the top craziness unless i can fuck and forty one this crowd was a little self concepts like i said i could see them all they were all out up satellite i don't like to alec and i like it dark i think the crowd needs to be in dark just feel what do you like do you like a small place like if you have it like two hundred seats is your favorite plus i love club theaters specials in theaters i'm not a theater act i have no big fucking point
nobody wants you to do a special club right your vagina i'm going to doing the next one i do i promise myself i'm doing it in the club and that's a definite but i've done the theatres and like really you feel like you know why i made so many mistakes economy and this is one of em like i'm not a theatre i'll never be a theater act i'm dick joke fucking late right like you know i'm proud of it now it's like you know what i want to be with you know the best kind of comedy in my my opinion it's just like you have lamp so funny silly comedy it's the it's the real shit you know it's the best stuff but there's some great theater acts i mean yeah louie lewis black and mitch hedberg i told with those two guys both of them i thought were like very theater we're very like they worked really going to big room yeah loose well at bird was great a small room to have it all he had broken weirdest acts ever man he had a crazy following two man his is people while they were like this was before all
immediate yeah they figured out how to get in touch with each other and they would come to kids but yeah he would have been fucking huge if he stayed alive only imagine the jokes that he would have had you know like he was probably the most prolific i ever met yeah in terms of clean comedy yeah that was the other thing he never had to go that seem like i'm doing letterman i could never take out the fuckin' this year so he's always
yeah if he had thought he was rare he had let one fuck every fifteen minutes or somethin eddie was always any didn't need it does us five man that's all we y yeah broke twitter corral yeah no one would have been able to fuck with him twitter was written out of the way and will give our answer so tweedle someone said that you want a frozen banana i said no but i want a regular banana later so yes slick his style is so weird man then there's a bunch of due to start soundly and a lot of people sound is there's a lot of outstanding lotta tell babies out there to buy what do you know a lot of guys like you beta where'd you out when you hear somebody up they're doing because i know you ve seen it yeah yeah i see it but i am so like joke like i'm like a joke or like it's really all about jos inelegant dedicated to other with deprecated because i can give you your cadences you whatever you fuck you wanted to be you can change it yeah just what you have confidence in right did it really is really about like the joke like if they don't like my cadence with a joke that's kind of like mine then my dear you know right away wait till the next week when i'm not here
do you ever find yourself when you were young when you first started out sounding like someone out earlier than alan avian calling queen with the two big influences and richard can either man if you got a major janni who no longer is where there is also another you re aren't we the railways are sounding like him allows rick i was at the comedy connection in boston a little one when it was like a hundred and fifteen seat room that's area yeah i sounded like i heard that the punchline like i'm like while can now that cross the line like sounds like them you know i did where's my cousin we took my wretched any and run a couple other park as well but i think you're the only guy you're really does get that like he really was a huge influential viewed it was the biggest torrent
check for awhile yeah i think in comedy like there was like dyson then sam kinison was but then like he didn't get the credit he deserves for whatever reason yeah like in the late 80s and 90s it really was richard jeni's moment yeah he got the ace awards which is like the cable yeah he was doing theaters in shell absolutely he's always on deck for a sitcom yes he did one member platypus man yeah i don't know what that was all about but he was his thing was look man they're always trying to plug him into something else was in the mask with jim carrey and he wanted to be an actor he wanted to be famous i understand he wanted to be famous but he was a brilliant fuckin' comedian it's really unfortunate that you know people don't appreciate how good he was when he was in his prime you know when we when i saw him in the late 80s i saw him i paid to see him i think i hadn't done comedy yet or maybe i've done like one open mic and i saw him do an hour and a half at catch a rising star i saw my three times times did different hours hours
times are you absolutely completely different and all of it solid as a rock no no bad material and one punch line at the other punchline what i learned from nine yeah learn from that guy how to cover the most ground that you can in a bit bingo he absolutely would be subject to the point where i am at last player which makes you disappoint we see a young comic d like starts a little bonfires starts in idea than abandons ngos to completely different such differences it i'll any can't you can't get a rhythm with them but with richard jenny he would whatever the subject was somewhat trying to sell him a car he would go into this thing and take you on a journey and every bit was like a five minute bit and because of that obviously you dig take you deeper and deeper and you really like appreciate the way he like looked at things now you get sucked into his sense of humour that so fuckin good set out because i always say this to like the younger commerce electrode how did you learn how to i tag a joke anathema like rigid january was the gotta milk a premise and even a lot of stuff now is hackneyed just
'cause it's been done a million times of like you know the dating you know like going through the french restaurant or whatever like all that stuff done over and over and over but when he was doing it it was it was basically really well written well crafted new material it's all it's like any joke you know it gets a little style but yeah always like this at spark to it and yet exactly right where he would just fuckin take a topic i would not let go of it until he milk every possible i can angle out of it and i was like wow that's how you headline and i never could i never could reach his because he would i doubt that when i was an economic governance we what he would like both parts and i think he would occasionally play in both parts of stuff you would occasionally like go over a subject that you'd hurt people go before like you know
do a bit like about memorably everybody had a bit about when i was your age when a walk ten miles through the snow in a lot of guys had those it was uphill both ways lot of guys have those types of jokes i hadn't comedians did and he did to so he had a subject that he knew had been covered but he come and it's so flocking well it's like using some master joke writer he knew how to like really get the most angles out of a premise and he wasn't he wasn't trying to be some obscur hipster sort of at all weird references or anything it was just it was just a really prolific comic he was just he considered himself a real comic he was the act that you would take your mom and your anybody anybody telling you be like wow that blew me away and when every says like he did a whole new hour it's like people have you're absolutely right he could do like five hours of different materials amazing just like he was
four vague lessingham likeness headlines unlike now many guys can like crust in both places like either you crush in vegas you crush like in like you know all of the country you know he was like built for both and he was great you flowers our end theatres he was he was a monster in the leg essentially aids when i went to see him he was one of the best comics alive but he was not a boston gather now there was almost arc use from brooklyn and big senate pipes pepsi that's right and i think when he like if you new york acting you want to boston like you would get your get schooled because like did i wake you up though they would send you up to like i had to follow steve sweeney one time like with my thirty nine minutes of material they do it at the verbal out and he would go up there and just do like five impressions the place wood flooring all boston central show absolutely but it was a good fucking schooling 'cause i wasn't cocky or anything like that but i never had to fuck due to face
the home team the way we did in boston and you really do yeah base to home to you if you bomb in boston you fucking you're not lifestyle display that was that was that was that was a righteous fuckin' bomb he used to do that to people they used to set people up i saw them set a lot of people out but the next comedy stop they would have like literally sweeney gavin kevin knox and laudable and then three guys who destroying i mean twenty minutes of samurai sword comedy where they fall did that steel from over and over again they ve been did those guys didn't do hbo special so they were doing the same material for years and that it was a real problem because they kept
firstly some of them you know you'd go see see him ten years later and then virtually the same i write it became stale the town was too good to them he ate them like the point of the whole thing is likely get him of the next level here and it was to get their megan too much money like it and then something happened renewal in syria was nearly ass good ass the old material and just weren't the same got there used to be but they were struck stables when it wouldn't when these guys would when were sent people have been allayed eighties they were perfect their word disk justice traction machines but i saw a bunch of people get through a dollar area got through a fine dom aware when i learned tat was tat he was all of them dams aware it is a great guy too and banned in the day likened the ladys he was top guys for sure we still is but a mean he was he was killing them back then and he went after all those guys they set em up completely gavin sweeney just crash lenny workmen might have been letting one one of the knights i've never far goes out out
die million deaths trend of all those guys in boston for they were they were they were like polished when you said an unlikely just knew how to work that crowd here but like like shameful another guy who i looked i looked up to store now like he was a joke dude dark do an like his life backed up that darkness but like he was another guy where you talk about like material like every time i saw him he had a new bit about a new horrible thing that happened to him can your wife or something like that and it's like everybody like talk about your life is like this dude's life is so fucking dramatic even oprah won't touch it you know it's like so so call highs and lows and all that stuff but his stuff when i look back on my earliest of em i you know i was always trying to be dark and like you no evil and like you know go to the good of the evil plays or right really clean that unlike what i really had been doing like watching just watch right a great joke and just like let the natural organic others
the sadness inside me like you don't let it come come out you know but alex gmo like is is lovers classic ivan his that is more the green and a lot of people because it's really you know about topics that are you know evergreen whatever relationships and health and all that kind of stuff i'm began his yeah great he only had some brilliant jobs as love flag and the fact that like you know he did that special and then at the end he shows the pictures you know did you see now this is the second its sweets vessel never say it just be can't answer and you know this is like no one ever would have thought that he would end it the way he did it said ending what do you do a car accident you know i mean what he do any special he finally being shows pictures of his kids you know like the heat supposedly wasn't able to have children because of other treatments in the chemotherapy and of course you know
sham also has two beautiful plans and i was like real sweet thing i thought for comedy like after an hour of dick jokes and seeing pictures of children but yeah i miss i do too i used to see him around i wish i knew lived in my neighborhood this area oh yeah yeah i used to run into i ran into him a couple of times it's great guy it's looking yeah that's the sad thing then but i those can we all do guys right we all do we mean when we owe to each other or thank you know it's it's one of the reasons why you know you're talking about the wave of boston comics that came up the de palos know those guys they oh each other in the reason why everybody was so good as to so many people are so good he must learn how to do well nick was the permit allows the first guy that i thought i was kind of my age a killer headliner and i was like while yeah and he forgot his crowd took made everyone else's work look like you do in bingo where you go right for the throat and to this day
i always have memories of decisions taken on bachelor report i just bought out iran is destroying our brave and dislike you know you're like like watching epic battle godzilla versus mothra great joke rye is right jack writer and is also a great political unity is really hard core right wing yeah that is dead on yeah now use that he doesn't have anything but he says it is a backup with thought now that i'm i saw neck like early on and neck like actually gave me a lot of hope thanks to go on stage like me i look like a meat head so you has when you were young count your already polished guys yeah really when did you were when do we meet we men the nineties rarely ever you already were had lining and you are like and i like you said you do know these games and i'm sure you like already have lisa have ours special laws were
deck for one i think i did on mtv half hour comedy our first maybe i did that maybe right before you and i met or something like that it was in that neighborhood but i still suck then i was just i was like i'm going to suck this weekend i'm just telling you where can people see that watch you suck where phoenix and up last night it's going to be a new type of suck that something fresh paint on the old suck i forget what my point was about sucking in the beginning i love that i love that you say that you know 'cause i always feel like it's like
i ever gonna get good at this year but any i've heard people say differently you know i heard this one guy sues never bond in these yeah that's crazy that drives me not settling really what you re housing as an impossible what have you learned nothing that's like a person working through life sing of never made a mistake when some a drink or we done i think wrap this i got i not get on all but better sounds a cigarette outside is that those five twenty we ve got a longshot joe amazing showed jove again wait too long and honestly not seeing you and i want to see you live and like i said you guys have a sweeping thanks help me get the word out about the show let's do a game together somewhere next to a theater ticket office later i would love it let's do it i hope your people would want me on the shelf 'cause i know they're like fanatical i suck down and i suck now we should all come up with our first bit i'll do my first check right now the crying indian joke
which one is it which was like the crying indian remember like with the pollution yeah how old you could actually say the word indian instead of native american cycling and it's like people it's not the pollution his analogy and i've seen that joke redone like a million different ways on cartoons and like i said that was like the first time i was like i really came up with something edgy here wow my first joke was about hot girls never get speeding tickets or so bad like this what it's like moretti jealous do you realize how fast your going no i don't you like my tits yes i do here is a warning that was my ben actually wrote that i want that in my fuckig one this is a good one that's the notebook with a big star next to it that's what's gonna work circle there followed a star next to that big shop close with that mother fucker such weak tools to work with you ever go back and look at some of your old books love it no no i used to have this joke about bette midler's gynecologist
and it was like it was like a fucking long joke about him pulling things out of her vagina now i love that i love tags i love it and you have jimmy jimmy hoffa was in her vagina and i thought he was buried in giants stadium holyshit that is giant stadium and here comes the giants stupid so bad it's just such a terrible i didn't think any of thoughts this might work you know these are like things that really resonated with maine it was just i was just trying to put together some tool that i could use on stage and get a laugh at
love you like look back on the job and you like i know but you know somewhere someone's do an aversion to jump right now how much is the drive you crazy when you put out like a cd or something and then you have the job for another month you come up with a new falcon tat i hated i hated i dreaded centre will be fixed by software of day in a week and update years eight years any legal arrive at what was really easy to record like seedy quality stuff it would be but in oak when you record lcd its upon the ass you have to have an audio engineer and you have to make the crowd and you know that's it thing man i'm glad you said it were you always comment would like you
the puzzle but the games over and you like oh my god i just came up with the best part of it and then that new tagline leads into a way better bit now what do i do because i have the first part on this cd and everybody's heard it somewhere but the second part is like it doesn't stand alone but with that other part it becomes amazing you just have to rewrite something similar and it's really hard to do already has a couple like that where he's really like i said i asked him about a tagline i said you sent it like this before he goes restore my joke from another joke that i had to look for myself like stole parts of it i'll go see you i see you just joking with my itunes joke oh yeah you did you swapped it around but the lots of comedy work like that which is i'm glad you brought that up 'cause that is like one of those things where you know but then
like how about the joke that you've never told before but you say it on the cd and it works yeah oh yeah so that's how the god balances out like you know isn't this fun moment ever when you're on stage and you say i said i did something in manchester i don't know what it is i have to go back and listen to the recording but i went on there totally new tangent and it was crushing and i was listen diamond said when i was on stage somebody write that down there i like over your head north divide is absolutely right i love that area galaxies fuckin thing and then then then you'll hear you like i can make a better entitled waiting to socks what the fuck i've created and now have destroyed worse as and when we are tired of saying something and then you go into a new wish you didn't
now that i did it as you started to be like oh what have i done i don't like this bit more and i'm talking to him coming i'm faking my enthusiasm and oh that's the worst like when you got it's a high energy bit yeah it's the worst thing you're faking it and just feel like such an idiot like as you're about to go into the big party like we're going to do the big part here let's do the big part oh it's when you take a phone call in your pocket in the audience knows the audience knows the audience knows exactly smell it there's animals you're right let's fuckin' savages go see ok tell this weekend people a phoenix sovereign clapping goes about that's the way than the coffee dog and when and why dave's old porn thursday at one thousand one hundred and thirty eleven thirty on showtimeporn dot com can i be home one i'd love you to do it i'm hoping i'm hoping there's another season 'cause there's so many great comics who could do it in this porn people like her into it so it's like you know
just scratching the surface here now so it's great and those of you like i said who support now joe and also you know this comedy thank you so much for coming out and helping us yeah we love better so thank you if it wasn't for the audience members mean it's the only the only art form really you have to imagine audience everybody around you have to it's an interactive art form there's no other way i have to write i have to have to sit alone and come up with ideas and stuff but there's no doubt about it that we need the crowd so we can only be as good as the crowd and you have a great crowd i'm still a huge fan of stand up comedy too i know you are so yeah it's fun fuckin' art form to watch man and we're very fortunate that we have with friends like norton and bill burr and nick depalo all these guys so i love love watching the new guys like just build the made up there are like find something that i think you know brennan was you know and i dont know the lilies guys as well as issues but i've seen like omnipotent areas the i love i just anybody is like trying to delay
good via these exactly fight and a good father that's cool there's a lot of those guys are coming up now and you know because a podcast because this stuff like this the they have a venue they have i mean we let people know about sam trip we will let people know about irish afeared india it so this is a beautiful thing to be able to do this never younger we had to come up with a sad and do it somewhere in seven minutes and keep a clean and yes you know really this is the real deal and i thanks for having me dude please it's been an honor it's been an honor and we'll figure out a way to do a gig together for silly that's done done is even a guest spot i just want to please your people let's do a big one together man funk you some crazy like chicago or something let's play like a haunted prison or something that's like when the pot folsom mostly bright house is playing on the stage where johnny cash recorded full story book down right now now now there's so many options out there yes thank you to everybody thank you to all the people please follow dave on twitter it's att ll or go to old porn with
with your at all poor without at old porn with zero with andorra that's all that's all the porn has as europeans a porn on twitter oh you can't will disagree who called herself evil cunt that was her twitter name when she was a girl that that busted out activity with who was married to sandra bullock change just jane jesse james girl she should see like rapid amount and saw the story but he was banging earn sent all his dirty text messages that she said she was evil count on twitter that's why she was now there was he doesn't check that embracing the romantic that would look great on a t shirt is a freak you're like those tattooed girls having padded those girls tatted up to the gills perfect forehead says pray for us sinners tattoo big script on her phone call yet on wheels yeah that's how long we'll son have you ever had a fully tatted up suicide girl i just like your style i like him fucking yeah i like him
we re david's holding go see him this weekend in phoenix arizona at what is it again stand up live in phoenix az i'm sure the information is available online duncan trussell and i this friday night will be at the comedy and magic club in her mosa beach that's a sweet right here a bitchin' then next friday in san jose we're doing two shows at the improv with joey diaz and sam mutherfucking tripoli so this friday is comedy magic club hermosa beach next friday san jose ca thank you and i can thursday twelve that's right this thursday you fuckin freaks would do it a freak show who's on it joey diaz fired we had joey diaz felicia michaels you and there's some other duncan might be able to do this we might be able to shazam biches and that's this thursday night at eight hundred o'clock correct at one thousand o'clock nine o'clock
nine hundred o'clock at the ice house in pasadena icehouse co dot com ice house in pasadena is the sh it's a cool fuckin' room it's an eighty five seat room that we're doing this little tiny intimate room and it will sell out as soon as we put it on twitter so bondage habitues good ourselves comedy dot com that's it thank you to the flashlight good joe rugged dot net click on the link for the flashlights entering the cone dame rogan and you will get fifteen percent off the number one sex toy for men and thank you too on it dot com au an end i t makers of alpha brain the cushion for your dome pills that we sell entering the code name rogan and you get ten percent off that we will see you on thursday this thursday will be back again with duncan motherfuck controls or whole lunch boy and that's it thank you everybody thank you dave attell thank you jesus
Transcript generated on 2019-12-06.