« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #3 - Ari Shaffir, Brian Redban

2010-01-06 | 🔗
Date: 01-06-2010 The raw audio from Joe Rogan's weekly live USTREAM video show with Brian Redban and Ari Shaffir.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
bam there is that it you people hear us we have been cracking we had sound for a second there oh we did have sound it just didn't show it in the window okay wave sound now just come on jump over to the job bitches jump over the check i'll tell you right up chad's gay i heard you for two seconds just now yes ok it's working eggs in it so i should call it out of this right i won't work all right i'll tell the twitter people last time
this is week this thing because it already ads hey joe rogan see i was letting the door over podcast i so uh yeah where's that time a very technical difficulties grind shop that tomahawk pipe up his ass and we got get it out tomahawk pipe that we're going to order last week you said at peace pipe what is a peace pipe happy fucking battle eyes or war your choice bitch it is um i don't think it's probably the best pipe it looks like a piece of shit it's already clogged it comes clog now it's cool though but we got a real one right here so why fuck around bitches and since
all three of us are legal this were legally medicating here see what you're looking at is three sick people are you get headaches is that what you got sleep the smiths and headaches for mister ship fear headaches i should sleep with this and i said i had surgery here before that's all true i get really bad anxiety but the rest of the sentence is when i smoke weed but they still gave him definitely alright we're up and cracking people you keep your part in a bag like the old days that was given
oh really i was like there's no other reason so i should kill his game music yeah it's not really getting it's just not really good sorry by and four homosexuals right does it fit with the vibe but we're trying to flow here you guys are liars and it's completely cool what do we lie about about oh about our prescriptions it helps me sleep one wrong give me his id and i have and it did it it is legal right if you had to guess other everyone's watching you or no one wants to know what would you say everybody right now i feel like everybody's watching me because you're paranoid yeah he gets paranoid when he smokes
but that's what i told the doctor and he still gave it to me here is everybody in here we go boys in here that this one this one's fucked on stuff i got some weak ass wack ass dsl internet but i've got new internet installed i just have to install a new router and then from that will be able to upload videos will be able to change this background and i'll bring a couch in here and get rid of this desk and put a new desk in and so i have one desk i got this big ass longdesc this rooms all clocked up someone put up couch in here have a little table right there so we have the microphone set up there so we could lounge and do this properly laser gentlemen check this shit out i just got this is awful imagine having to deal with this my mom has a windows xp computer that's like seven years old and she only has fifty six k internet available at our house and trying to help her
so computer from a virus and she can only connect at fifty six k letter will run yeah old people in viruses may just shoot that computer there's no way you're going to fix it but can you imagine only getting fifty six k no i can't i did for a long time should i started out with four in four i started out with aol on an old ass mac one of those tan ones the beige ones and it had a fourteen four board internet connection remember the brutal six came out the fucker everybody got fifty six can i was like man i can't believe it that's like five times as fast remember paying one hundred twenty dollars for a fifty six k modem back in the day and and it was like so much money this is like a finally started getting worse you
online you gotta tell people people i'm online online to use it i'm done before i get off you couldn't use the god damn phone that's craziness man well now that's that att u verse staying if the phone if the internet goes down everything's down if the computer if the tv the down then your phones down five zero the and everything's now how would you master by memory does your three things published listing that's been my memory shop or the old time while you use at cave cavemen had to draw what they wanted to masturbate to first like i know caveman just raped and fucked i don't think they bothered masturbate masturbation is a byproduct of civilization if we weren't civilized would be raped in like a mother fucker would be no could be no masturbating you
and there will be no gay yeah let me know you're just rape her brother and she was raping everybody yeah there would be no masturbation of throws caveman right now i don't know i think rape takes a lot more work same as now we never go out with old people oh people just get raped all day everybody will be waiting in line to rape the next old person when you didn't have a language and couldn't say hey fucking stop and you couldn't right someone off back in those days if you couldn't reason with people and say listen when you are raping me you're hurting me i know it feels good temporarily but there's other solutions you can't talk someone out of rape when there's no language right but it is tacky rap well i mean that's logic right do you think a girl that's in a coma is just like a robot fucked all no don't do anything no that's rude man i send a doll it's a person she's never going
coming up so but she's still a human being i don't know but here's the thing about comas having you ever seen like one of those interviews where someone was in a coma for like seven years and then for whatever reason i just he said he was awake the whole time would that be awful for awhile ago fuck that man get webcast tips from anthony cumia that's a very good idea next time we're going to na we're definitely going to do that we're going to find out with do you have found his sweetie reprise me once you get your internet working it's all i'm waiting for i just bring a laptop over here in this shit will be changed second war i've been just waiting for the internet upgrade think this is a good thing to commit to this is the twenty ten commitment we're going to do this every week so easy just hop on and fuck around and everybody enjoys it
does anthony have guests he's got everything man he's gotta guess he's got these cameras that are like real like studio quality cameras he's got real like radio station microphones get everything he's got a background green screen so he changes make it buildings things that's what we need this back wall needs to be a fucking green screen at the world trade center no i'm like that roller coaster effect how hard with that wouldn't be hard you know you have a seat i could bring a shoot over go home again right now the cables installed i just need to change the router can you take a picture of this green screen the exact same background behind us so we could be cool if it is if we had it like two mirrors looking into each other when they look infinitely did you see that video posted today on a message board under i wished
or i can with my cell phone does this now is if there's there's a video on i chose message boards under the topic on the called i can't wait to my cell phone does this and it's this company that does special effects so that you could pretty much and it shows like all their samples and it's just like backgrounds of buildings that you would never think was a green and it just shows you like the scenes first and then it shows happens yeah it's amazing could you imagine if you could do that with your phone if you could like put your phone down and change what you're looking at you know that's going to happen eventually when they figure out how to broadcast images and make them look real like it's right in front of you like not just on a screen but an actual hologram that looks real right you god damn could you imagine when your tv become something that you just place in the middle of your living
you put it down to try and the image just because we won't have man like old school princes later take shape but like you can't tell the difference though you know what i mean contents would that be i'll start off like the hs quality where you like i could kind of tell the difference all staticky and it's kind of television was the big thing if they keep food hot bring 3d glasses though for now they said one has one way you don't have to well i didn't see that the avatar in 3d i saw in regular and even in regular holy fucking shit that movies good it's not like a good movie like really great reading you can't believe they went there you see everything coming a mile away and you don't care i'm probably but it's like i just feel like no you're not going to say it's alright if you get super baked you're going to love the fuck out of that movie it's so
you see it nope the other has yeah the problem is you haven't seen the two storylines i guess it was listed on our young sees his story you get a season's storyline but it's not gonna matter but it's not for that it's a comic book man it's bullshit it's just entertainment just pretend like you're fifteen again and just watching some sleep good action all my god is there good action jesus fucking christ bro i didn't tell you about it because i don't really i don't want to i don't want to be the the the his final his issue like that or or just want spy movie this thing off the charted and i didn't
see in three d apparently three d it's insane by black said that three the mafia's his movies like with anybody but i that's not necessary yeah okay but not i've asked you can take it or leave it he's probably seen ten times already rising a few times if you my black if you talk to my to this they want to move it he's already seen everything jesus yeah every week he just everyone right now is to yeah he's always gets that midnight show love movies when there good like avatar was a great experience or something i believe there's some think about seeing a movie in front of a bunch of people to it's a totally different experience by yourself with a shitty movie then you're just watching a movie shitty movie with a bunch of people it's we also help with three with cowboy and we still walk yeah that was terrible that movie was so down there
i couldn't i don't know but i think they're hellboy fans they're fans of the comic book first and that's what we fucked up on we weren't we didn't know what was going on i couldn't get high enough the responsibility of the movie to make you understand even if you're not a fan yes but that's what that happens in those big like big story things like harry potter i the last harry potter fuck it was death i couldn't i couldn't do it i couldn't wait for it to be over it was like being in jail it was terribly was it wasn't even remotely entertaining there was nothing entertaining about so what her problem is pretty good yeah the first one was really really first couple were good but they were they had a broom ball thing yeah that working don't i don't remind of one of the second one is i think is the second one was a was that when the dragon was coming after was at the second one i think it was you know i think the third one that megan scene was worth the whole movie inmate like like everybody talked about how the hulk sucks that hog totally sucked but
he's fucking shit up man is worth it looks good it was about a new marvel movies have been pretty good the iron man was fucking insane the new one looks even crazier and that's going to be a good story along with the action i couldn't watch wolverine man the last wolverine was terrible but i'm sure they actually just as good as some other stuff it's like i nothing scripting you it's and it was pretty it's too predictable like there's like there's the scene where the gasolines running away from the car and he's walking when he likes the gas in the car blows up behind how many times can you see that noah that scene is so they don't even look at the exactly what it was it was bad so stupid so like i'm a bad you know that you got to come up with a new way to be the did the new badass isn't like some guys like snarling and the new bad ass is the guy like fade or doesn't say shit this how i there's no him i would do it and try to be cool and light instructed walk away but then i start to assume it's gonna to
so i start going yeah and i'm like wait what's happening in the lookout for scrap stupid how can you assume this is not going to hate you it's going to fuck blow up back there it's gonna come flying that you matter day by trail so long and around the building yeah i would run like i still pay a bum delighted still wanna see yeah pay a bundle i'm pretty sure in the movie well that's one way but i do know that a movie ever you can talk some sense it on the bill like you you up you know the great into a movie have a guy like the cigarette put it out and then just aw yeah that would be that would be crazy i've talked to you guys about this before would be awesome to have a job to watch moving your whole job which is alright i totally wouldn't do sports i would get i want to keep my keys on the dashboard l'm at mcdonald's or something right
movies you're into and then you're like what right now it seems like they did in my life yes actual hollywood you should start agencies so they have that thing where they were people love go to see tv shows and they go yeah it's probably we have that already radians like the gaffer dan but we just never knew at the gap but it's like you know if you're working one person you're probably bugging a whole bunch of people yeah totally and people just deal with it like girls that won't tell you that your breath stinks but the more you have to do that the more takes you out of the movie total yeah well there's some scenes like that in avatar definitely there's a couple of scenes like that right you didn't have to do that it was just there was a few cliches that were like so extreme it almost like it wasn't even a movie it was like this is how how clunky some of the acting was even sigourney weaver so clunky it wasn't like it was a movie it was like you know how you go to universal studios and you go on a ride
and before the ride we play that little video it was like that yeah yeah ok go back in but you're not fully back in you gotta come out cliches so off the charts the charts say it was pretty good was pretty that chicks lined the end of almost like you had me at so i'm watching a movie isn't that what that whole movie was kind of about cheesy humor mixed with zombies and this is what i want to know is there a single human being is there a single human being to solve their ads for that fucking let me tell you about the morgan's that you know the movie with sarah jessica parker the new one that's out now something about the morgans fucking single schumann who saw that that adamant fuck yeah yeah they had a very sure this huge matter jessica parker parents yeah yeah but even a huge sarah jessica parker friend doesn't give a fuck about hugh grant somebody who was coked out of their mind in agreement that fucking movie i think we've got
winter here we've got shoot grafton we got sarah jessica parker and someone pulls you guys like yeah but it's two thousand and ten it must suck to have your screen writer and you like you like i'm thinking about brad pitt and angelina look awesome is like in the studio sometimes hey stead of that we're going with these guys won't keep a little what time would you well are committed they have two projects going right now it would be at least a year and a half this script once so good we don't need stars we don't beauty we don't need talent over teen years we want a guy that got arrested for getting blown by black hookers remember that yeah ruined his career sort of but not really right he kind of came they all come back you know you could get you could get busted doing something like that if you're an actor and for some reason it's ok got projects in the works or did they don't the money yes great apparently in the works yeah if you have a project in the works out well he never had anything in the works is a weird fought like mel gibson i like three things come up with and they're not
let's talk shit about kramer did you uh did you ever have to deal with him the jews did you ever have to deal with him in the congress store yeah i saw nothing bad where i saw him when he got there it was really cool grammars you know whose father was another there yeah it wasn't but on it's stage like this isn't good it was stop people stopped like being weirded out by which is like that night before it at duke gamers here it's fucking like on crackers it was some crazy chick an hour later that all had was either brent ernst or mod it was you told us he came back from the laugh factory and told us he was like brent was it broke right yeah that's what i was saying but they said brian no i said you said brent anyway he came over and just hold the sucre more fucking crazy started yelling nigger people
we like what we thought it was like another one of these in the world of comedy you always hear about some chili hey we're what happened to tom paris pulled his cock out and slap somebody in the face but you like shut the fuck up ashley so in man it's getting crazy that's normal cool i wish i would've been there i left like an hour yeah yeah you'd be pissed off well see that's one of the things about the old school comic stores you never wanted to go home 'cause you never know what the fuck is going to be the mistake of thinking of show is over where a guy was mining out being broken up with by a pornstar actually started fondling and touching her boyfriend was there and he was like please pick up wanted please take me back back i can change and i said i thought it was done was like that is a great night i left later than or start was fucking her boyfriend right to the side of the stage while everybody was watching yeah well whatever's on stage and try again and i'm like why would i have gone home it just seemed like result wrapped up actually it will happen all the time to comes to ever know we're going to see there
just seeing everything out a penis as a comedy store it seems like everyone was to show you their dick do comedy comics like that so so funny because there is a letter in the list dick william also i say lastly gross that's his problem now six name that was on stage where joey was in the back of the room of the original roni came out temple is balls out and she thought she was callin she was terrible she was a terrible communion christy i forget learning no no anyway what lyrics nameless she she's on stage and she's one of those lifers that have been doing comedy like twenty plus years but it never made a living out of it which is the comic store kind of like kept those people around where is like those people like the really crazy people that are not really in the world of comedy but they're sort of in the world economy they don't set up at the end product they don't get but the store those people would get actually get on the basis and they really want to stage
i wanted her to idaman panic when you see them on the line up 'cause he thought they would clear the room and they would they would usually will clear that fucking room yeah and so anyway so she's onstage and every time she goes near pucks like we all seen her act a one million times and years is behind her the way the original room worked you could actually sneak up on somebody while they're onstage open up the curtain gravel and pull into the darkness was a curtain right there and it's fully stand back there totally screwed plenty of room you got like this much room so show me just back there takes all his fucking clothes off and eh time she is a post like he polls open the curtain and starts shaking his balls in his big giant grapefruit balls are slapping around and then it would close it back up and she didn't see shit she thought she was slaying she thought she was selected you guys like that one it's all jolly and happy like all of a sudden she figured comedy out like yes my hard work has come
fruition without having to the whole background fills up with comedians or someplace like and the comedian of the stages like oh cool the comments are watching me that whatever we've seen so much crazy shit at that place that the comic store the old school hangouts with the best part about the comic store that audiences some of the worst ever which is one of the reasons why you develop like people you know you know you're always dealing with hecklers like you know what is that like is that is that freaking out like when you start out a comic store dude you have to deal with hecklers it's not everything but it's like one hundred and five they get rid of the guys when violence is about to happen it gets like to to the point of violence people people stand up the people that you really need all these members are comfortable with the complaint yeah about the different yeah yeah you need like people ready to stab the pro for them to do anything otherwise it would be so you develop that style the style that like you have and i joey has where you could just
now you don't say you're you're at from beginning to end like some people especially like a lot of guys who start out in clubs like in new york you get really short sets you don't get to fuck around on stage for one slash two an hour or an hour you don't get like those those nice long sets and when you get those nice long sets then you put material where you want it and fuck around and be loose and it's got a lot of people show cases like you do some seven minutes to get ready your not i'm like hey what's up everyone that you don't have time at all we got going to get off like isn't a frustrated too and you have to do a tv show and you have to do like seven minutes like shit out of times a bit and a half two minutes and you don't know how to set it up it's like yeah this is a good bit but it's really good after i've been talking for ten minutes and you know my personality you know where i'm coming from different does it differently now yeah it still do seven minutes that's only pretty much are better at that yeah they're more realize their potential than someone who's reduced along steps have to cut it
yeah you get used to what you can get away with you can't really dig a hole and you really know your pics and yeah if you did seven minutes like this there's bits that i have what i know like like the baby blowjob that's that's possible hole the time that is someone could follow it open and close with this fucking thing people be like once i know you can't talk about this yet i don't know how you think but if they know how you think they know all this guy just being silly just fucking around he's a really nice guy and you realize this is all in fun we're just having a good time up here then people will accept craziness if they know it's hot bullshit but if no no you you can't just go on stage and you might have this killer brilliant bit good you'll you'll do the first opening line of it as a start it right away yeah like when i was your man i got a hold of a four minute hole and to fill the snot out of just drop it right now so fuck it or do something else i mean real comedy is in front of an audience in comedy any
on television even comedy like when i thought i did my comedy special like i'm happy that people could get ahold of it but it's really just an ad it's bad enough to pass the diversion of of the real thing yeah i mean it's nice it's got the material down and you can see it without having to drive across the country to work people like well what's the difference i can still see a joke say exact what they saw it's like no you don't because then you what you misses the connection you try to make look at audience and you weren't in that audience and then you feel that yeah feel and hear the same things you heard and that's a huge point right there the connection because it is a non national just the jokes that are really yes it's not it's you can't discount it's a real this is a real thing that's happening with you in the audience yeah it's very strange it's like like almost like a like goes psychic connection you know like there's moments where they know exactly what you're thinking and you can just pause and consider something and they'll start laughing because they know by based on you know yeah we've got going there with you
there are other comics by watching on tv but i do yeah i don't know maybe the same thing i just were not there still looks right looks like yeah so i just sent me a tape of some guy turns got these really funny and i was like watch the clip in much snow your nose is so to speak lori cole martin over her now new york so i think general first or second you're doing a show in some way to work a roller all right there's the heckler video knows what to look yeah it's pretty good well if i was there you decide like i just want you know you don't
gonna have to call up in the moment yeah she knows that about the crown that's how she would yeah that's a certain way people love that the when when moments happen when you're in the middle of a show room you know sat calmly really is sort of like a massive gnosis is like some weird mask connection with people and what you're doing with like a video is you're just hoping that someone will sort of get a little bit of that connection you know you get like a little like off a little vibration of it a little just a like a faint memory of that connection you get the material in the understand good writing a lot of stuff but there's a moment that happens when you're on stage and you
telling you know that moment which is right is that also sort of remember feeling man i don't think too many people understand that you know talk about local issues calmly scary so scary people want to have a good time you just gotta do what you're supposed to do do put in a work right a lot perform a lot do it with the right state of mind do it the right intentions do it all for fun as long as you work if you're if you're intelligent you been doing it you know how to do it just do it man your time i heard it because there is john got sick with the on stage once i don't know like 11th or whatever it was and he was just killing right in the starter starter fucking destroy you see her dog i've done that many hiccups 'cause he realized this might be the best of all time in the last like three minutes with something like a b plus a minus but it was like oh my god so well he felt responsible for the rest of the set i was like how totally done that have you ever you talked yourself out of
yeah really what happens to be the starting i remember there was a set that i had when i first started doing comedy with the first five minutes i fucking crushed and then i had ten minutes set and then i up the glass i just fumbled drop the glass and didn't even address i don't know if they're not worried about going yeah that's right and then the next five minutes i just ate look at man it was like i went the last thing and wow these guys really funny what a great choice we hit the common show this is awesome 'cause it was like in some weird place in the middle of rhode island it wasn't even a comedy club it was like one of these little little comedy gigs that you would get where you drop it and do a guest spot before you were actually getting paid you know it took me like a year before ever
they paid sets but before that year there was always guys that have little bar rooms and you can go up and do ten minutes like in boston they develop a whole network of those there were shows everywhere they had comedy night all over the place when i was doing comma they had three comedy clubs on one block warrington st three on one block our fourth one open upstairs they were all packed it was crazy and then you had another one there was only a block away there was a little dick torretti place and then you had another one stitches that was only a couple miles away and then on route one you had two huge ones you at the kowloon's and you add giggles these are like full time clubs like giggles wasn't columns maybe i think was just a weekend order but the other ones were
monday week clubs how many people in boston i don't know there's a few million but it was crazy man there was stitches there was duck soup which was later later bikini improv and then it was of course the next comedy stuff there are so many fucking clubs it was the most incredible play it was so lucky just a total streak of luck that i was in boston in one thousand nine hundred and eighty eight when i wanted to come because that was like that was like math how much those time and it was mecca for the cole country for whatever reason that one place developed all these comments mean like him or not dennis leary with his face steven wright and then guys you've never heard of jay leno of course nick depalo anthony clark anything car back then it was a murderer
ever say mostly the film as a joke yeah he i think you got a television show and things start to happen for him and i just think a lot of stuff didn't fall into place but when i was starting out back in boston are severe moved away from the camera order of those start taking some quests that nosey bitch she still watching use dreams start taking some so many people ask me people god man shit happens drive running you know know know take something that i somehow this shit works ok when you're on the radio show you never have someone telling you to say hey let's take some calls when they want not when is a break that was a break in the conversation so i said let's take this most likely would you feel question what are the what
no no no you get reception here do a tnt is fucking good up yeah yeah yeah eighteen the bomb diggity but this is better everywhere else but i'm going to get something hooked up where you can have verizon in your house through the internet you have legal internet thing and it's like wi fi through your house so even if where you live doesn't have good internet you want to give up it's actually what it does is it uses your wifi and anet rebroadcast hey this ain't radio also i know it's not radio but i mean a precedent has been set sir i would try to we're doing it like radio this guy tobias hoft he saying red band hit him already
and fellow you got a lot of pain transaction answers we're friends all right to give it to you swear friends here was no no one hit and it's like i want to settle the down to duty to so many angry people that that that that that hang out in the ufc community well it's not just the ufc community it's in the world then there's a lot of angry mother fuckers out but since you were on the road as the x forty five am yeah the economy's initiator weren't too wars and makes zero sense there's a lot of angry people out there yeah but there's a lot of usc people that i notice i've come onto your message board lately that of taken over the crowd and your school they have a lot of miracles a lot of but there are so many dumb ass is and fucking morons and fighter guys true but the beauty of that message board is the retard room that's the beautiful thing
if you my out of this killer message board on joerogan dot net it's forums dot joe rogan dot net and these forums we haven't set up so people are just generally instructed to be cool with each other retarded post interesting shit talk about things and occasion someone will fucking blow up all the get retarded it's stupid to get angry they get aggregate start fights so then we send him to the retard room and we have special room that's just everyone in it has been deemed retard i mean you're not all retarded i know somebody you're probably just young and some of of had a tough life life crazy i don't hate you i just don't want you fucking up the conversations and conversations people fuck up the conversations for more than you know a certain couple two or three times send this retard rome is the greatest invention ever i don't know whose it was whose idea was it crescent wrench was the guy who king of the idea where everybody should have to post porn that was his idea yeah that was it wasn't about
and about saying i'm cool look here's a nigga moment set it up cool there's a better porn asshole and it became like a website where you could just get porn don't have to go anywhere else but my website to get porn videos and down with those this fucking cause you porns and arts movies big giant ass fucking pictures yeah there's huge can search by category and they look good you know it's funny is it also the people that were most addicted to porn and had the best porn photos where the most popular people so actually we were friends with the most yeah we're friends of people develop seven gigabytes full fairly legal persons who will go to strip clubs when the girls performing with like magazines vertis on yeah i'm at gina lynn she's really pretty she's very nice cool it's actually really cool she's a nice person she's
tune porn very much longer they like them to the point yeah they want him out looking out for them you can do better than this i just want you to know some things are just into it bella said she's done with porn done acting him what are you gonna do now just produce wow she's going to become a pimp you know just baseball bats up the pooper i don't think she's tired how anybody can get started going to continue with that she does is out of nowhere she's like oh here here's here's my ass you like us great and now it really is like that too she sends you nsfw not safe for work i think you need a bigger warning then loads dripping out of your gaping asshole that's not just not that's not safe for life ridiculous you show me you show in the whole world your bike right to the butt hole like
not mysterious lips and sucking on fingers and taunting you with lingerie us to love wide open bar hole with spurns reward ran off with it one of the flowers and vegetables a deep she goes deep she tends to another level she set the bar like mother fucker i've never seen anybody shove a baseball bat up their ass like that it's a loss to the community it's a huge loss like jordan retiring the first time it is it is who is the dirtiest girl in porno sasha grey now she's gone you must be really is just a good market are dirty the rest she looks pretty dirty jesus brian brian's athlete on candy things balance
you don't know what the fuck you're doing man road and everything this is a story behind this thing behind us and i'm gonna put something in front of it so this side when doug stanhope and i were hosted the man show there was a segment called make me hard and segment we had like boxes attached to dude sticks and like we show them things like like a midget eating a banana and we would decide always going to hard on taking it was really stupid but the whole reason for the bit was that we can use this training and in the bill had this tranny and she was really hot i mean she's fucking super hot
my friend eddie saw her in a car once and it was damn that bitch is hot look at her and i go do that's a tranny no fucking way to yeah we used her on the man show so i'm like hey what's up how you doing so anyway we got this guy with the box on so the idea is that we show him all this stuff it's not not sexy like god play with her nipples big fat guys and and the would go off you know just the banana the light would go off and then we had this super hot chick and she robin on him and she's touched him and nothing nothing's happened his light is not going off and she's pulls her tits out the fucking audiences crazy and he's sucking whipped cream off your tits and then she pulls her cock out and her marcoussis with pickled shriveled up little poison deck because it is a real dick like she used to be a man but she's been injecting herself with so many female hormones that her dick is like like addicted's been poisoned it was
a monkey that got shot with a poison dart which you would imagine his dick would look like it was like dark and shriveled up and then of course the lights going off like crazy but they let us do all this what they do and lettuce do was call it may me hard they wanted to call it make me stiff and that was like a legitimate argument so you changed it so we had to change it from make me hard make me step it was your choice how they're going to put your foot down as a creative person so no without hard it's not same or but that's how it is when you're dealing with network television that's that how dumb their arguments are it's like everybody wants to change something and they really believe that they have to change something to get your respect that you know the you're going to have to listen to them and they want to come in and they all none of our creative and all of them had more offensive more people opening helpful awesome how could that be more offensive how could the word hard be more offensive than the word stiff that doesn't make any sense
this to me sounds like even more like like pokey you know make me hard are rare in the girl make me stiff as like like you're stabbing somebody with it like you know certainly want your dick you just gotta look stepping it doesn't sound fun but so i've done the arguments arm and is very lazy gentlemen were learning differed between connotative value and denotative value or she fair educated to the masses's giving you knowledge where's the laptop it would be easier to read off the laptop in your feet up your internet is so weak but it will be fixed tomorrow ladies and gentlemen we're going to do this every week and we're going to start taking some questions now just twitter feeds coming too fucking fast it's crazy when their twitter feeds going faster than chess room usually does you know she was or the big news doors is that lenny bruce on the wall now that's that's a picture of me from my first cd this dude made it with with
snake blood some crazy dude sent it to me he makes paintings with snake blood and lost that dudes email so if he gets to see this dude who makes panties with snake blood thank you very much for the pictures pretty fucking dope and it's up there uh so it's hard to read this shit man what's going on the news right now nexus phones coming out for now no terrorism brian fuck but they don't use those kind of phones job these people don't use those phones no the terrorist okay i don't know what i'm saying to do to god damn this is impossible to read
i'm way too high to be reading this moving shit any updates on this beach moving for for there's so many rumors floating around i heard with his report but this doesn't say why yeah i haven't heard anything official no i've heard some crazy shit that drinking bleach stabbing himself in the stomach fucking i hope that's not what make the that fingering an asshole nobody heard over dancer no one heard over with her that was i think that's i think that's a lot of but after drinking the leech like you try to drink looks like suicide that's what we started with a hospital just to get a check up and then as long yeah did you hear the howard stern show this week no i haven't heard it all here it means probably called the
there one broken it's happening is fine did you hear about tiger woods hello i just love saying that are you having a news did you hear about the new thing with the little the whiskey or the the the bottles of vodka and red bull and the the three hot chicks chemicals room shop of pussy maybe he ordered maybe ordered twenty bottles of vodka in the a case of red bull had three really hot chicks up in his room that's how we celebrated new years this year this year this year also porn you're being right around you know that one how to wear that come from was in the news but he was celebrating that that that's how we celebrated new years tmz he apparently was there whether he didn't just say like i thought he had left his house i think he just
fuck it you know this year i could see in the packs in this year i think he just said fuck it i'm tired of this bullshit i'm just going to live i'm going to my last question for like six months yeah let the fuck people who's out there so they have like he has so much money that he doesn't have to work every did you keep working out didn't keep playing golf right you can totally please play golf but he doesn't need the endorsements crush people i hope you get the endorsements back he'll get different so you don't think he's going to sponsor who is winning these tournaments yeah who they keep showing on sunday most of the time yeah let's put our fuckin logo on his bag so a lot of money in that golf that's a businessman sport there's so much money in big golf yeah it's like the offense on your good geoff ogilvy a german guy system carry much weight do you think people would go into a call thinking that you're going to make money off with it's so hard i think it's the same as it is for basketball in the major sports bassil baseball
well that you go into a going like i love playing right all star like that happens i think i go to a i think i go to big division one school in the back your head you like i want to play pro yeah i'm sure but it's just that you know the hardest thing about becoming a professional at anything difficult like role for whatever plan football or any sport this saying ok this is what to do because you don't have a backup plans that's what you gonna do yeah it's it's it's the with the scratches makes life go towards their queue school java plug in you know eighth place finish at the on the best buy for the grand you know hopefully yeah this is the most fighters to i see some of them have a great mate if i three five two year thirty just seen graphic a bronze having little conversations always on
oh someone said winning is everything cody okay would you bang tiger woods wife right now i think no because she'd be very vulnerable i feel i feel bad about that but all right would fuck the life out of me and consider the bottle over thank you poor girl you know just having a hard time right now so i have to rape or or just so she wants to do it she wants to fuck you should need someone to hold her and then as she's holding you you grab your ass can she says nothing and then you just go for it but she doesn't really like grab your dick you grab her hand and put on new definition goes with did you get into it when she's doing that sort of a little bit but she feels bad so the whole time well i i think i'd still go and then i would be disappointed though i mean like you know what
yeah that was very disappointing it would be with a great feeling yeah wouldn't be that you know we got really into it though she gave it say her be game yeah just a baby plus game i think i did super placed so much more important to have a check that's really into it that's so important yeah hi chip is not into it but this is important as a point of diminishing returns right you know like a super hot chick who just lays there is way that's not as that's not as good as a one one step down goes crazy but it is better than that yeah a little bit yeah i get certain point there's like at a certain weight certain smell so ok ok i'll take the hot to check that doesn't move he but the into it gives you like quarter credit hotness gives you full credit so here's the thing that gets me is those robot things those those those dolls those real dolls
you fuck one of those 'cause i don't think i would fuck well i fuck wanna fuck pillows before i would definitely but i would but but i'm saying i would invest a lot of money i would rather jerk off and fuck that thing possibly be good do you think that's good i mean sometimes lotion feels better than yes it's feels weird in business there's one thing to fantasize and masturbate there's nothing to fuck a rubber i think think right extension 3d versus 2d you more texture true but it's a thing it's not your imagination with auto manipulation it's a thing your father okay enough i guess if your act in a rubber thing is it feels good and i feel like close your eyes and doing this if you can feel free to fill their skin like all the better here's my point it seems much
more humiliating someone catches you yes what the fuck someone catches you fucking a rubber doll you feel like shit i think you're supposed to feel like shit if someone can actually do that would be worth well that's 'cause i think you're supposed to feel like shit for doing that that's a fucking creepy thing you're doing your fucking a rubber doll you weirdo you should just jerk off now we're gonna make chili noises through this is the children's portion of programs yeah all right let's go this guy says about real dolls dave broomfield says they look awesome talking taking them to dinner is awkward though uh just movie lars and the real doll you know if you are somebody had never got laid like ever
by the way did you guys watch that conveyor of love that show no that's great it's a convey it's a new reality show where i four hot chicks just it they're belt in front of them and they just say guys down the guy has like twenty seconds to impress them or they just go get outta here and he gives off on the conveyor belt and then at the end up like one hundred guys then they take him on a date and so then yeah this looks like i just want that guy i just do him so bad it was like a guy with no shirt on in a puppy and in the next person would be like a stand up comic like do you like do you like fire and like a fireball coming is this song is right after really ashlar whatever it's the batch it was right after the match is that abc abc yeah i said one of the issues like one of ten like yes no no got conveyor of love and all the people that choose to go on dates later and yeah and then the dates were awful like this one guys like crazy
you guys got downloaded how incredible is this one chick stuck with this fact guy that had like really ugly hair by mistake because it's a game you could steal other people i don't know if there's two girls that want the guy in the guy has to decide between the two girls in there just blind like some might be the greatest show of all time it's great it's so bad it's just like let's see how much more we can lead people to mean themselves right do you remember that jingle that temptation island you member of that stature with darius how crazy was that they would take these fucking checks and tell them to try to get these guys to cheat and film everything they did every will still cheap and they were both they were yes it was a girl we're fair factor that was one of the girls there just prostitutes yeah basically i mean i mean there's not an it's an emergency i have to be attracted to the i don't know it's not on american soil they're not paying them to fuck him they're paying them
flirt but this is always doing a lot with whatever happens if something happens you just any girl like feel like a kid seems like a great stuff i don't know good question i will never watch i think they'll be highly discouraging when mrs road being so upset this is wrong and did not like it she was like that's terrible show so been this week mother they got the the weakest dumbest it's like they know their big but eventually like like fuck its portfolio just wrecked their lives on tv i teaming here is so fake by the way did you know that she you are not always 'cause he got stabbed for no look at the video now look at it now it's it's like watching et now and you know you see how fake it is have you watched the stabbing video of cheaters now our brains have gotten past that and now it's so fake looking like it's like really like this is like this is like
like helping him out and just like their sport people just filming him him this stuff and he's just sitting there don't start filming but do it like watching et now yeah you're just like that's a fake alien google that right now and this is the beauty of the internet but you turn it off so we watch with them now jelly gray go from cheaters get stabbed right what did the stabbing now i want you guys to look at it like all right real now how would this really happened to the one above it is that the one away this one choose get no yeah yeah yeah cheaters get even is what it is when you look it up on you too cs lamont my internet is so wack and we're
would shirt are you somewhere and triumph united that was probably staged first comment on the first comment on youtube to do says that was probably staged i see a ship we're watching it right now is german this is like when we were watching two girls one cup except this shit is live over the internet right now we're about to watch joey i love the one comment says i hope joe is going to be ok the seven four years ago and accomplished with three days ago i hope joe is cooking and yellow she would creepy about that i think i want to find her stuff later and see what kind of person should read her post by the way when you get your internet hooked up will be able to show them what we're watching that will be hooked up next week well be hosted tomorrow yeah next week so we're going to do this every week folks alright here's the cheaters there
let's was way it's beautifully filmed okay oh some guy gets thrown in the water somebody spent staff yeah all right all right hold on hold on don't say that yeah well can you help him out he's been stabbed that looks really
well you gotta think though that if he did get stabbed the guys have failed actor and he's gonna ham it up even if he did get stabbed and we handed out he's going to have your stabbed i want to behold cameron stuff i'm sure this is available we could find this out online joey joey greco's that name is i gotta be honest it looks pretty funny ok and there's another part i had a gas so there's another part in the video where they got the text abdo right here cheaters host joey greco stabbing was stage says paid actor look at that and this just came out november so in addition so this is a recent finding so the reese
finding out that whole thing was still yeah i told you my man called it do my brain has gotten past the part where where i want to tell my brothers has been on the air for nine years now documenting scorned lovers confronting their cheating partners in the act with a camera crew in tow it's like an episode of jerry springer filled blah blah blah blah blah blah blah inside addition reports today the stabbing was faked a nas as was a relationship shown on at least one episode or answer this was always a little weird out wide reality blurred yeah those are just made up or not skip point mike what is inside edition dot com that might not even be the store so there's no come so weak wow there's another part where they have the guy that stabbed him in a chokehold if you're show code did you just his hands like this look you
like trying to punch the guy in the face that has you in a chokehold or trying to undo that bow his arms like this in the guys that has him in a choke hold his arms at your side i'm not doing anything yeah this ain't shit okay now it's cheaters is it all a hoax each week millions of viewers blah blah blah every episode blah blah blah blah blah blah bobby go see shows owners and refuses adamant that every episode is real bobby goldstein you're so full of shit bobby goldstein you're a fucking liar dude don't bobby goldstein is shows owner and executive producer is adamant that every episode is real yes showing real people those are real those are not holograms cards and i was thrilled but they're acting mother come on man there's again there's some re shot scenes left and right on that show it's obvious now that popular
not the fuck up poor fuck is she talking about that's the inside edition broad it's probably going to say what i think is pretty there that's a goddamn but a lot of those there was just so i can my mom's internet show no i did this is just like the website was when the webcam got got no jews i got nothing the whole thing was fabricated correct says why it all right so it's not real at all says carrie wiatt tells inside edition she was paid five hundred dollars to appear in an episode of cheaters she said she was asked to pretend that she was having a torrid affair with guy she while she was engaged to another huh well that's the difference there's that they're saying against what that guy said that every episodes real they're just breaking that what he's saying oh you hold inside in your website socks is really that sort of the scan yes love you have to hit hit hit on this little put your cursor
this arrow to get your text to scroll down i wonder if this is a link you fall from the other guys website but this is all fake i know this is late edition on dish inside edition is the worst website ever look it's flash based you have to hold your cursor over i hate flash i'm done with class this is the weakest thing i've ever seen you can't take and scroll down no you can't do you can't use your scroll are you have to use their stupid thing and you have to figure it out i thought that was the whole article 'cause it it's actually cut off it doesn't even say more at the bottom shame on you inside edition your articles your whole website sucks so we're going to move off of dick but i'm i think i think i would have to go with that was a hoax totally every watch is sometimes we watch when he's getting choked and just watch his arm if you're getting choked or not arms not just going to be like gently resting hold on this fellow johnny bananas has a question says what do you think about the suicide bomber that was a cia double agent what the fuck is he talking about did kim trails in jordan
oh the guy who killed all cia people he was a double agent is that what it was created by the jordanian jordanians and he was a cia agent as well yeah i don't know he killed a bunch of like really high level guys right i guess yeah that's something like that news stories he kills yes he was recruited by ci through the jordanian i like now that jordan is never gotten back or i don't know i'm so type i'm i'm google in the cia suicide by our news ticker this is some crazy ladies and gentleman very run look at this because as marijuana the pop group was it's i don't like it unlike the feeling it's it's one of those of an almost like narcotic feelings
oh you're right yeah i don't like edibles as much anymore period yeah i don't feel like tripping i just want to get a little high and think about some shit i don't want to invest that much day yeah this is crazy shit there was a dude who is a cia double agent and use the suicide bomber it's warm self up and about yet soaps he was what does it mean double agent while he was working for the cia pretending to be cia and also working for gas al qaeda or taliban or whoever the hell it is we sent him to blow everybody up but he was a cia agent he was in mama so that's how so many where was it will happen slow it i think it said jordan the local yeah i guess
c i a operatives killed by double agent that's pretty intense shit man suicide bomber killed seventy seven central intelligence agents agency operatives in afghan afghanistan last week was a jew danian double agent who lured them into a meeting by promising information on al qaeda leaders of former us intelligence officials said so they he lured them in and just blew himself up he got them to come to him he's gonna give them some information and they're all in the room just went bam bam i've been more arrested with a year ago by jordanian authorities who thought they convinced him to work for them so jordanians thought they had gotten him to work for the jordanians they thought they confess that the jordanian good guys yeah but how the fuck well supposedly you know how the fact that they talk him into doing that he only got arrested a year ago
so they had him for a year if he would rob writing could intelligence god damn what are lobster that guy is hot he gets friends with them get some on the room and then go and just does the whole thing just okay blows himself up how crazy is that all this is brian's new kitty you gotta see this folks bryce got a new kitty cat say this glare case it is a short haired persian so respond yeah exotic short hair we're very close too much glare from as well you know stupid law this so that goes into my girlfriends work as a breeder not since she had kittens just call one eight eight eight knows thing just kittens right and then she showed me
i was like my god it's like a real cat i had to get it as opposed to what was what was it like a tom cat with thanks yeah that's a good sign with a ten yeah proponents of that cats like having friends my cat is a front friends it's cool when there's like life all around you too when you're at home there you go there's something going on like a creatures like trying to create something or do something i feel living on sunset this man says joey greco is not his real name wow well that doesn't matter well it doesn't matter now a lot of changes names like carlson ca is fucking figures of funk are fear how many times people mispronounce your name but that's your fucking name song that's a part of who you are hearing that change your name you should never change your name the arnold schwarzenegger is arnold schwarzenegger that's part of the flavor as you get this fucked up name that's part of the thing it may it defines who you know here's the thing about cheaters start watching
you can just notice how there's never really good but you know there is never good conscience when the boyfriend's fighting out of bob dylan people change it i thought i was gay two zero a crack inside the us are like you i can sign see by i'm doing he's a fucking self hating you could've been good if you just if you just stuck with his name would you say it was too weak eckenstein if you stuck with cabin style and just still rock the house just that hard maybe they were just we they would have said you know what jazz joplin became families to choose fat and ugly as fuck should a big fat stupid face that's a really good i don't know i'm totally on his door at example i'm going to make it so i mean i'm going to go to the heart of the art of fighting name itself if you like your school she named wear make up and i'd like talk about cute is arguing that's
like the the trail crop trails argument just tell something else that you like okay that's right now watch a documentary last night on ancient aliens on the history channel word on dvd is eddie bravo is just always constantly talking about aliens it's like this there comes a certain point in time with someone is so obsessed with aliens you run the risk of once you're married alien risk of like not wanting to even consider aliens anymore you want it looks like thing it's not real it's not possible but it's soap it's possible just you know it's more possible when you watch these videos these ancient alien videos where they talk about ancient structures and you know what technology put these together i think if you just look around at the evidence there's not how much evidence that aliens have landed but there's a lot of evidence that life on this planet has been fucking seriously jacked at least three or four times like big ones that we know about like mass extinct
that's just mass extinctions what happened to calling from inside the house jeff sussman management this is my manager they don't even know that i'm fucking on a podcast i would you just sussman management would be aware of my podcasting from three to five on you stream today it started three hundred and thirty shandra well that's the best way we're all gonna be become one on twitter in the podcasts i'll call you later bye that was my manager sandra are very nice lady she's on a twitter she said that's why she finds out my schedule i don't even talk to my manager just twitter real time talk i talked him occasionally sometimes i'm elusive surprise stone little bit huh let's get take some questions from the field leysen gentlemen
what am i going to educate danaans wofa on copyright well i am a retard i'm not educating anybody on anything copyright copyright law i think is there the the ufc is threatening to sue all these people to take illegal downloads of the ufc how much is the right yeah yeah they're just going to well they're talking about putting people in jail that is enough to home so we're to make some examples and stuff they're to throw that's what i think the the la guy said among pot stores la sheriff whatever they're going to shut down all nine hundred it goes won't have to shut down a few don't close yeah he's right no i'm going to risk going to jail when they're just going down the block is like there was a dude that it was in eddie school that was selling he was all licensed and legal in everything like that but he decided it was too risky and it's like you think it's another bama want
and it's not you never know there's a lot of people never knowing how to work the long you know it the the interesting thing is it's moving along there's on tuesday the twelfth or some vote in california it's on the message board with are talking about a trying to vote so move towards legalizing it i'm not a registered voter the other prizes for indifferent game after obama i swear to god i i i thought before obama was in office i was like you know what this is going to be very different we have a black guy he he's a liberal unlike the very least it'll be good for the consciousness of the country will have a leader to have someone to look up to that's more peaceful and and you know has their their together more concerned not better and it's black and it's been through a rough childhood everything he's doing the same shoes their older is doing the same exact shit it's almost like they have all these ideas and they get into office they realize it so it's not as easy to make it happen but it's not
jordan retro along with things like sending the troops to afghanistan sends extra thirty thousand was quiet some points it was which was why have i can just plug body out making a huge document destroy itself if that's true you can't just leave yeah but i realize i could make this problem it's way past the year you know will not wake us because it was a seven more trips to talk about how is it would become a hot bed for terrorists we left a hop and now it's good the whole the whole middle east just mad at us the whole middle east is mad at us and it's like now it's like once you start believing someone you start pushing them once they go down you got to keep pushing out you know that's what's going on right now you got to keep on down no you could keep not because
they rise up and you'll get something to eat they take a nap and they come back with freshly cut you a face you know you're not going to walk out of a restaurant i got the new right there hey i won't talk about what we had talked about earlier this thing and you know the people that were released now and yeah yeah and they're worried about them you know we integrate said the problem is known given jobs there because i guess whatever and they're getting becoming disillusioned and leaning on people i know because i what will hold me it's like there's new leaving work maybe they're wrongly accused before but it's like so inside their life is such shit yeah no one could have gone in the right direction they don't just become angry because i can't get a job and fucking weights at eight years of my life but i supposed to do with someone else is often you jobs and telling you
self it sounds right what up more video place to live could you fucking imagine could you imagine how lucky you are that you were born in the middle of a war zone i better play slots is only comes only once a day instead of must have like to be pregnant to be a pregnant woman living in afghanistan how crazy must that be the feeling of vulnerability that constant stress and shaking i mean that would be just absolutely morning sickness morning sickness tuesday january members members of california what they always do do for the assembly will hold a historic vote on statewide marijuana policy members of the public safety committee decide on assembly bill three ninety the marijuana control regulation and education act which seeks regulate and control the production distribution and
personal use of marijuana for adults are published all these things are just wide open so it's really open interpretation you know cash sales no it's like how much is being and they really want to narrow it down now well i think what's legal what's not legal and if they did open it up legally statewide it wouldn't be much different it's very easy to get a recommendation the recommendations on the problems of taxes who is selling the part while there there's always going to be bad weather shut down not people not doctors giving up yeah but with these guys what they're saying is they're trying to legalize it this is about medical this is about legalization for personal use this is a totally different situation they're talking about taxing it and trying to make money out of this regular to regulate and control the production distribution
yeah not medical they're not talking about medical model federale medical marijuana doesn't exist and that's that's what fucks you that's what happened to todd mccormick when he got arrested he got to court and in court they told him that you can't even use the term medical marijuana hawaiki is well you can't even say it you can say where you telling that i want to and you go yes i was selling marijuana under the assumption that it was legal because proposition two hundred and fifteen they don't want to hear a fucking word that they go shut the fuck up were you selling marijuana you work good brody this coho so do you want to tell a collapse what is this that means that he can be in a camera on the side who is between look at his face grew birdie stevens that's brody isn't it no my boredom boredom strike twenty blind i am blind no i can't let go of because i don't think my internet in the coast how do you just
some of yours don't just anybody but i have to get on that well now we know now we know of that you can try to comment if you have something that's going to want to be like oh yeah sure consider with the but the problem you got a million people requesting it then that would go crazy direct line i think eventually everyone is going to have their own reality show that's my my vision of the apocalypse is it although i have a trainer of the we'll all have a channel number i mean basis we're doing right now well once you get the internet you could have like up to six co hosts where anyone could have there i think have there for thanks on the side and you could just mute him but if you want to ask him a question you join in on the conversation but you were waiting on your internet oh shit so we could have like an interview like mayhem and stuff like that that would be beautiful you could have a bunch of people in it we have a bunch of windows and they could all open up the different windows and they could be watching all the same time
move it like like like hollywood squares right go to good will be gulberg right what he doesn't put desktop like overlaid on this campus we want to see that show okay things are going crazy pretty cool right think about ten years ago you can even do some of this era there was nothing there was no twitter is not who the webcam shows we just blurry pictures of up girl showing in their pussy and you had to be in their membership to get that right flow right those bitches went on a business with the internet they blossoms those cam girls but then i just rotted on the vine to have like that one it would be like a like a whole group of people just like look at this she's going to you know but you know is really cool is that crazy amber chick she was really cool sex too
is a modern day like this if this should do real porn so her boyfriend do porns and put it on the internet you give a fuck i followed this one where it was a grill that just had her camera on twenty four hours a day and was just her and her husband living in new york but they would have fucking straight we had sex they would have sex right on the camera but other than that it was just them living their life twenty four hours a day holy shit and now she got it stop that and now she's a successful author and she's trying to raise her aston as no one at all really did anybody see the video of her and their i don't know but google caches wonders and i'm not gonna say our name though because just a cash wonders google cache who actually go to google and type in internet history right there's a thing that comes up call the way back machine you can type in your web the site and see what it looked like back in like one thousand nine hundred and eighty five one thousand nine hundred and eleven readable yeah google is fucking
just talking about this me and my tech friend that wires my house he was like google was like they have so much power it's almost like if google were evil like we wouldn't even see them coming and they document everything you know like if there's an artificial intelligence out there it's google you know google is a weird company man i mean there are so powerful if they do modern ater they do male they do searching they do your fucking maps they do what your house looks like from space i think lanja tude is scariest one the one where it just tracks where you are throughout the whole day so you can look at it and see like oh i was here here here the whole day in a record words that information puts it in some kind of database to see where people are going you know it's like that's fun i'm crazy that you would ever sign up for that too it's fucking crazy man the whole google
but you know they seem like a nice company and that's why that's by the way that's why gps on the google phone is kind of scary because if you use google what is google do with that information they could there's a way for them to you is that information if you're using your g map you know talk about where people are writing and when they're going right it's yeah mike there if you're running it through google now you're running gps you know it's really cute though what if there were evil and they decided well let's just give a have a level name like google colorful we we work with an image work really hard on being green and eco conscious and we we really pay our employ he's well they're all swell but they're just ruthless what if it's the government that's like
area fifty seven brands no shit they like developed they figured they do not boycott google because of these idiots they sat down what do they sat down and looked at the trends that humanity is participating in like look where things are going technologically and said you know what and they got the best scientists on it and they said this is where we think things are going we think things are going to an online based email service so you can access it from multiple ports we think things are going to do they just started listing all these things and goes what if it's people from the future making sure we're going along the right path what if miss orgies was trying to save us the whole time he was just like this butler trying to be our frame it was like fucking bitch i'm going out after that help i have oz how many this is ask jeeves get today i don't know web crawler
crawler know that used to be like a pretty good exactly when i kind of remember that now barely i don't know i remember realizing that i didn't have to get online through aol that was a great day it wasn't it was like a lot there's another thing is like oh my god that's like space it's like the wilderness you have mail browser and go my own and how do i get my email now i have to write all that shit into a program and then get it from the wow that was remember when you first figured out you don't have to use
net explorer i can use fire fox or you know something else kind of netscape just wonder they finally close shot isn't it crazy once on top of the world once huge now irrelevant and so quickly within a decade gone you know so much technology and so much so many things that were invented like like cds that i just have this really short life like there's going to come a point in time and don't gives a fuck flash drive hold a fuckload more and everything is going to have a usb port shut up you know it's like cd's are like really hot checks that got old you know i don't like now they have no power cord laserdisc portlets it is not my laziness staple is a big place disadvantage to have like even one lays this was dying he was buying up really good movies they need to yeah me too i got like terminator beginning to be better it can't be better visual quality than blu ray though is not better than blu ray but it was better than cd
kind of like how records were better than cd but it's better than dvd image wise yeah yeah but it sounds better to too blu ray so insane hd so on say anything you know in movies in hd now just getting so crazy this fuckin avatar man let you see this shit who like visually it's like whoa i didn't eat a lot of people i know it's said that they want to go back in that really live there whatever fuck what i said i said that i said that we're gonna have master wires our brains are like pick the avatar ninety you're the oh no place two thousand and nine bill go places what i think it coast to coast with our bell that's the greatest fucking radio show in the history of the universe man they would always every now and then they get some lame sidekick on talking stupid shit but for the most parts all people that knew big
wouldn't do it used to be where wolves but they got chillers and by the way if you want to know more about what they were talking about go to sg is an answer google conspiracies and the first link will tell you all about it how does a conspiracy site about it why would see this is the thing great minds think alike whoever you are out there thanks bus from november 22nd two thousand and two is it so fudge hilarious were so lame i was eight years we had no we were just going man you not believe when i figured out bro if you fucking keep food cold it last longer please put out last longer the korean food cold growing on it well that's good for you i said if you give a cold that lasts longer and so dumb of course there had to be a million million people people think a conspiracy in everything those
then the nine slash eleven people men did those are hard fucking conversations here's the is always but maybe in the night just to napa yeah maybe but doesn't mean anything well the problem is if it was really but maybe i'll have that conversation with you if you say maybe the let me know really a range that building to be blown up i got maybe bears arranged it but but but you know when when someone says maybe but the problem is they don't say that they go maybe the government doesn't give a fuck about you and they plotted this and they are attached to that idea they don't know if it happened is information that not even saying it's like fucking do you believe that sound like you so quit saying maybe yeah i think they did this yeah but yeah i think they just know that that's a ridiculous argument it's too hot nobody knows what the fuck happened but the idea that it was some gigantic fucking conspiracy that thousands and thousands of people were in on i'm not sure that a few people didn't know that something was going to happen
but the idea that this many people had to be together and put what the fuck are you doing i don't know my phone to start playing music your phones gays fucker but song was it i can't even say without a little yeah well that's what it was and where was long yeah yeah what was wrong with it just tell me download it was lady gaga and your car's front end do you like you know the lady got i don't throw phoning on there why did you grow put lady gaga your phone because my phone connects to my cars when we're gonna car it's a kind of like our jukebox and so she throws my oh my girlfriend put it on there that's a modern day i ran into a wall you know what dog dog like my home is fine you like lady gaga whatever i i see i appreciate 'cause she can she actually knows how to play our instruments and she doesn't live and she's a real
a musician all that hermaphrodite talk just like it's just maur playing it for the media very interesting very interesting people bite into that that once on the me brain can get that pop up but it's here in court when thing that would stop acting on it and my mind lots of us do it later and then you have to you hear the words when he says it there's never been a better tv show than south park consistently funny consistently irreverent consistently brilliant get get away with shit that no one get away with that whore off when that gay dude stuff paris hilton the greatest moment in television history as far as i'm concerned the fact they even got away with that the fact that they went there but that's where you go if you're going to go crazy
crazy that we go and then at the end he shoves her up his acid wins the contest fuck man can we really put that on tv but because of these blah cute cartoons they got away with it and because calmly central knows they're monsters they're just they're operable he won a lottery i don't think coming since you get to tell them what to do at all i think well yeah i think that a lot of that i think is it just like shut the fucking president receded bias it is not really hover cable it's just them saying we figure the advertising might pull away but they advertise aren't deploy from south park their brand themselves in this thing so girls knows ok might be something like this they have movie success behind them too and that movie success those two big huge films those both films were g success is i don't know if they were financially but like i think they were i think their team america though that was one of my favorite movies ever in they hate they said that was the hard movie ever they would never do that ever again but man that was such a
fuckin genius and i believe that it was really talking so but it was so god damn good i got to see the puppets and life even the silliness ever we have is it releases the giant time yeah just kitty catherine the same size them there i think black getting of it with fucking i think it was the funniest thing you have ever seen before that was probably like the safe sex and make a gun when they're covered in rubber you know but it's like this not funny i was hilarious that just boning hardcores and then you see the unedited version when they dropped logs on each other i did not see that ps i have right yeah what's an edit it wasn't in the movie now they cut it from the movie otherwise was going xp and poop are no go how about when threw up and never stopped kept covered insider block was so funny
i remember crying laughing when i see that i couldn't believe how fine it was i was like i can't believe they pulled with anything that first south park movie theater like ok we going the docking they did a musical south park movies wanted a musical and i loved it it was everything is great job but i said how do you do a musical there was a genius show blame canada come on how good was that how about on the can answer their heads pop up camper just now look different they just look completely weird and different heads and totally different than just the fact that we yep that is ahead this round thing is that any connected and bottle it up with that we accept that we ok that's the head there's the head that shits genius that shows so god damn good like i was looking at a cartoon the other day that the one that you gave me the barney rubble picture barney rubble
don't have eyeballs no that's crazy black he's tripped out black pupils but everybody else on the show had eyeballs 'cause peoples are black only rubble no it's all white all white he's got nothing yes i'm good about i think you don't ask yeah what's in a forty couples that never know or two well i think i don't know maybe in three pebbles yeah i don't even know he was offered a couple of those band down and it's all right i don't remember us all the moment i think so for expressing the flinstones yes yes it you just get comfortable with the fact that his face looked like so like that this avatar movie after an hour i didn't care that she was blue and looked like a lizard i still want to her you're into it yeah
i wanted to fuck her in which and if i lived with them i would told you know but if i lived with them in the woods and shit i will totally think she was hot i would totally want to fuck her it's like it's subjective there's no if she like made a sound other than english i to fuck her out i love it that should also or whatever and they started i never watch that show which the show yeah yeah i like the the i i would not watch the news late as well this guy wants to know it is d a seven eight fella he wants to know who do you think is better and better oprah or hillary clinton hillary clinton runs yeah let's see how it goes i have a over one three is fucking huge lesbo you think so yes really earn their friend things like more who things like similar moral hillary clinton more of a lesbian she
seems like more she made it if you didn't know but she would suspect and made a human so she knows she's at least accepted and you have no idea about open have no idea that steadman guy if there was ever a man that looks like a beard yes generally general at that poor fuck google oprah winfrey guys merry old ladies yeah work is good i can see it that's why ellen wanted to be on the cover with her well she's super powerful man maybe maybe she's so powerful that the testosterone that she asked for having like a billion dollars the surge of power that she has maybe just made her just dominate some pitches maybe she doesn't even maybe oprah own best time to eat her pussy oh yeah you're probably right
in dollars and she hangs out these brokerages that's what this oprah's do you know how much a one billion that's one thousand million that's incredible money that's an insane amount of money she's so rich you couldn't spend that you would have to go nutty if you want to spend that this is probably worth more than a one billion she's probably worth several one billion right perfect fuckin winfrey just kids come out new stuff no one's been ever been more successful than oprah winfrey like for daytime tv i love the old oprah still i still remember that the old old bottle of oprah answer question i love this question read it like how he right this guy yeah so what's your ethnicity upon into religion says yo what's your ethnicity will you bored into a religion that's not a bad question if you're eighteen
i just like the way you born into religion actually br io ashley bryan oh so this is what twitter does it doesn't actually scroll it just bumps right you know when new people even though it does scroll look it's really far below what do they have to do they have to put hashtags on it and you follow the hashtags i don't know why it's doing that looking at earlier they put the hashtags on sale but it is no terrorist keeps on saying oh it's yeah hashtag that's exactly it is hashtags but why is it doing that that's weird but why isn't it does have the laughing out what does it have that does it mean there in this twitter ru is that what it is check my iphone a young hillary clinton was you think young hillary clinton was cool ok actually ok looks good not bad the first time bad in the i think since chad yeah and by then she had child who would you rather fuck now is that the story
anything is better better better in bed i think probably hillary was talking over hillary hillary would give you some action where is oprah would make it either pushing hillary would have better cocaine i'm just not a noob lyrics just imagine that switch over if we really did she just had girls eat her pussy that's how and they came out just like tiger woods coming out he's a freak he's married with children but really banging like sixteen different chicks at the same time whatever came out that oprah winfrey is this crazy bitch that just has all these young girls eat her pussy and there are blind they bring into a special room so they don't know who's pussy there right right this is your rule this is your assignment you paid one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars a month will you accept you given that much you have to give him one hundred and twenty twenty five year
should you call upon you no need to get more than that if you want to be like that not the blindfold you just go into a room to eat your pussy one hundred and twenty five a year and it could be on call at all times yep uncol that's five thousand that's too much but you can retire i can't keep you my bitch no you have to do is work for a couple years ago i retire i want together for life while keeping my bitch i give you enough money so they don't get used to money but you can't really hold enough of ok we're going to do it from my car to take somebody super bro start off at seventy five again with thirty five increased every year starting off fifth but you gotta get a super bowl at the next year i want to leave now i could you grab next year will give you seventy five oh now i have to say you have that i want to leave it all depends one hundred and fifty this year that ok now i want to leave three hundred this year june julie right now just keep upcoming not letting him leave yeah it's like ha
you can never leave everything to certain point you have to be cultivating other boys and getting used to the monthly report you get him used to the money and then look you want to talk some shit hector over there is ready to come number one boy yeah does the projected like sucking dick hillside three four foothill suck my friends mention if i get some guy he looks like he's right now twenty nine to hit the road jack older i could feel her grizzle on your type to suck dick all the way from guatemala to get her on the banana boat certain factors so happy to have a fresh pair of nikes suck the life out of your balls hector's here he's here for you totally right oh yeah competition and being a male whore you know in nevada they just recently approved mail war going to have male horse at the big house for no apparently they didn't
family was only females what that's crazy why would they not have it seems it's i don't know it doesn't seem worse this is the wait wait guys for society die if guys think there fred is gay they're going to get him a male whore now my dude you never believe regards for your birthday i got you a fucking whore and bloody rats get the fuck outta here i've been nice mom because you like i gotta fake it with this girl from my friends do you like yeah imagine you going what look like don't you like it you set him in there and then the red light comes on so naked guy with a hard on like yeah imagine that is going to be in trouble if the guy says what the fuck
bad guy by buying back you know that he's just a little femmy he's not gay just little family my dad had a friend when i was growing up out of swore this dude is gay but he wasn't gay it was just a little for me yeah like look if you didn't know duncan trussell there are times when duncan trussell we used when i act but i just think that it's i can act serious and normal stuff like that but i just always let myself like who cares you know like i know know know know know know you don't understand me that's not funny that's relaxed this guy was like god he it up there is a favorite always gay really mostly just why am i doing better questions that's why it works that's fucked up did you try to fix it now i'm to fuck anything up trending is anyone know why it's doing hashtags instead the at signs in the twitter social stream on you stream socializing about this subject yeah well
last week last week it did act signs that's what we want we don't want this hash tag bull anyone know how to change it from two hatched has tags to add signs to do the same thing doug trussell is awesome yes donna trussell is awesome when he goes families really just plain talking likes girls trust me what's up comic is technically any time he wants if you want to fuck around he's very funny actually wrote some good material we have to get it when we're gonna i can't tell you about that what i was gonna tell them about that show thing i can tell you that but he's done it a bunch of times it's just doing these videos even though it doesn't seem like it takes a lot of time it takes a lot of fucking time and he's going to archive all this god dammit
doing open mike sucks that too he he like puts me in front of him on like is sold out shows and i'm like a new trying to do comedy but you get spoiled and then you have to go to do we you go back to la you go to in front of like three other comics you know he spent four hours day just you can have you know five minutes on stage it sucks yeah open my fuck that shit i'm too old for that yeah i'll be right back we got caught in mouth so there letting you guys i try to change the hashtag why are they all doing it they're all putting it in it is because is right where the new videos coming out were logged in to use stream via our twitter ask whether you're gonna come up run what video so you got come up we got coming on your life i'm not really doing much of the videos right now
yeah ryan is doing a new thing where he's doing before a show on the road every time he makes a video specifically for that town yeah like his material yeah if you go see joe do i stand up at most places nowadays we have a thing called death quad that's like before the show it's just kind of collection of videos and we film a bunch of like hey coming to austin centered around that city so you make sure you get there at least fifteen minutes before showtime to watch that stuff videos yeah we're gonna do that at most places we go to when i will be will be shown just that week and then done yeah when i go like like one nighters like dc and i are doing dc this next sunday this upcoming sunday brian i'm gonna come us to that one but when we do weekends like the next week was the next weekend at a solid will probably do it no tempe no i this house friday next week oh yeah icehouse then addison and temping it's all
upon my twitter page oh it's right in front of asking questions icehouse addison and then tempe addison's i'm looking forward to that i fucking love tech how much fun is taxes i love texas so much fun looking at those dates out of tampa is going to be a lot of fun always is ice house is always a lot of fun but my fuck you know it's like the foods a little better the people a little more fun it's a little more rowdy it's like they're healthier there's like something about them to like they got something that we don't have here in california this place is so polluted by the entertainment business but yet i hate the east coast east coast to angry why is it so angry i'm so fucking mad you know i grew up with a lot of guys like that always everyone's insulting
they're the usually the funniest guys because they they have to like learn quickly to deal with you know people's bullshit but in boston boston so aggro so many agro guys yeah everybody's upset but wants to fight in new york how can you match i can't imagine living around that many people's rough so many people it's some messages this guy t saps said because it's cool hold that is definitely part of it boston is cold as fuck in the winter i was there in october and when i was there in october it was starting to be three so it was like fifty but it was a different kind of fifty wasn't like la50 headlight 50s nothing this is very generous gary yeah where we wear shorts january out here all the time well grown man really should never wear shorts look in my legs bitch on my legs most sexy in herring
i want to get gray hair on my legs that's me stop seeming shorts or you'll see me in shorts with shaved legs seemed like you fucking faggot you want just just remind your legs i will sleep now i know do to do their facial hair facial hair but i don't i don't do that i'm gonna shave i shave my balls i don't die my ball here so i'm not going to die my leg hair either right can be dying your leg hair that's just fucking other faggotry line in a bathtub with some fucking black ink trying to pretend you're not dying dying there you don't die you fucking leger that's hilarious have you ever seen an old dude whose hair is dyed they have like a reddish tint to the haircut the guy looks kinda funky brown instead of blonde could you imagine if you have that on your legs and your legs look like sasquatch live ginger
ginger sask watch who is red band what does he do red band is the guy who if you ever saw the carlos mencia video you've seen his work have you seen the jew clamp video you've seen his work and if you haven't you really need to check that out google jew clam and look away the he's he does all the videos for for me for my website and for you know we just it's like one of things we do when we we go on these these shows and we we gonna travel always different towns one things we do is we a lot of funny happens and we film it and brian takes all that funny ship has to lose yeah watch nine hours of bullshit to get ten minutes of awesomeness and so ten minutes of you know fun and with the right music in the right editing and he just makes is cool last videos i've heard some director talking about each other's movie
more than twenty one days and the editing to five months he thought it would take they said ten or twelve weeks he goes i'll be finished in five to seven dot five months 'cause it so much longer you could make a joke funny you can make a joke not funny you do whatever you want through editing i can't even imagine should i hate dealing with is this just a music as i make my videos around music but then if i pick a song that will get me banned off youtube and off all these websites then fucks and then you have to like try to do with your own music or make your own kind of shit that's and then you lose the creativity part in your like working with bullshit instead of working with like sampling you know it's yeah i hate it i know like one of martin scorsese's best movies goodfellas do you remember the scene where where it was all falling apart for what's his face that's all the coke we had something money we had this one was driving in the car and look at the helicopter the music was so important to all that shit
but i mean it's all that rolling you know you know i mean it was like was that means the matter at the end when when when he put in his airplane is picking up his mail or whatever or the newspaper and they have we did it my way by frank said vicious and what about it but he was like that's a reason he just he's not using this not sure version he's only purpose he wants to fuck in that version of it this bastardized version of the mafia they're trying to show it's like yes it's important yeah some music is so important to a good movie all those that's one of the great things about like scorsese you know yeah francis ford called blue they know how to pick the right music you know the great guys they know how to really jazz it up right i mean that all the good the bad the ugly those roles they're doing it does use and you're more prone and whatever his name was the good the bad and the ugly i would say you had a dj i wouldn't like remakes and stuff like that like if you watch that it seems like it's so much fun in the
make your own music and that's you know in a way you know it away yeah i just wish i could do that you know it's weird whores every now and then a guy gets through and his huge like there's that guy i think his name is tisto he's a gigantic dj and these people were telling me this dude was telling me that he went to a tisto concert on new years and it was like this big thing i think he did in south erica and he said it was insane it was really crazy fifty thousand people yeah look more and they're all in ecstasy under craziness one hundred thousand people on ecstasy and this is jim this guy gets apparently he's like this multi and selling dj guy i don't know where they make their money i guess they make their money and personal appearances yeah yeah yeah it just sounds so
oh good when your night clubs were innovative sound like well yeah i get it right after good man ecstasy i only did it once but god damn it feel good it's just named right it was like it kind of feel you got it it's it felt so good but it scared the shit outta me next day the next day yeah i never got one of those i might have
yeah they're saying i might have to give me some good ecstasy and see what happens but it might be my bio chemical i think it's more the yeah sort of knowledgeable yeah djs produce music but they produce music that's like other people's music to their like piecing together and make it their own but there is art to it for sure you know they are sometimes the people that make the music don't see it as well as someone who's listening to the music you know i i know that sounds crazy but that it's possible that a dj could take asylum was really that good to make a pretty dope and then that's possible sometimes remixes are better than the original sauce you know most the time it is like they give you go to a party band or i was at other dudes girl talk if you go download some of their music they take some really good songs
but mainly listen to a mixed up in the back actually like that better yeah and like well that's what everybody says about like when tarantino right these themes are all stories from like other movies of gold on his arms but he makes some bad you know it's interesting little fine line there kick paris seven thousand eight hundred and ninety one were having a fight in here this do is telling someone to kick somebody off oh paris 'cause parents keeps on saying my cock how much money do you suck my cock how much money do you have fellow you think that's the real paris you paris hilton i want to be in the sender bam sorry bitch nobody
and the cock suck now i was what i was going to do is suck everybody is caught that was listening but you had to go and fuck it up son i know joey diaz was here over that sorry so going nowadays going nowadays remember the old re that would smoke half a hit and then like in a car accident on the way get nervous getting to hogle on stage you got barbecued in vegas how are you getting there who you kept going we had a and and usually this the the way it works you do do comedy one this should be be fun as be fun to get loose two heads so i wou you're trusting and trust in the universe and your trust in your state of mind we have four hits we were we were bullet skrillex now all right all right upon him one more we were flattened political
the worse is when i was so stoned like my first week out here you invited me to go to see you at fear factor set it gave him all these these are like one boy parts first came in second hey ohio boy brian come here you but this is a lollipop i'm like alright sure until i take it and in like ten mins later they give you anything yet and i'm like no let's take another one so i took a second one yes we have tools and shows like well here is hang out with all the directors and producers in this trailer i gotta go now and then it starts tripping and i'm like broader now they're going in there like like he outside so so head on my yeah was was horrible the the outlook for like three months you know what that's how much i hated fear factor i hated fear factor so much that i i had to do it that i would get aren't they cute i would get so high i would
take these crazy beyond bomb that was the name of the company that would make him lollipops out to eat one of those before would do fear factor not be blitz creek to the point where i could remember what i was talking about ten seconds ago and that's how we do the show but it made it so much more interesting it's fun to watch fear factor now knowing that though 'cause like all the episodes you can tell your eyes are all glazed over and he was like oh my god you're going to eat it must be so rough out there they leave the producers knew it in like that fact that i did it because it made me more relaxed in earlier there was so many aggro douche bags on that show i'm sure that producers they must work with so many bags over their money and if you want to do it you can make a lot of miserable most of the people that did that show were really cool they were there in half
trying to win some money holy shit him on tv you know so there was a few got like stars yeah they got do she will not have they got aggressive you know there's there's some contestants that were like really aggressive that was annoying 'cause they were all hyped up trying to win fucking show and they would start shit with me you know there at home in jersey practicing intro good system should his woman suit him so there are any way you don't really say it but they go forward anyway they already wrapped up by the time they get there like hey man yeah so we help so that the weed helps not nothing helps you deal with aggression better than we because forget sometimes people are watching all right there son very nice was that the vegas show last may says a duna duna ad we're talking yeah we're talking about saturday night friday night the
we do the house of blues in vegas all the time we also do the palms and i'm gonna be doing that like every couple months we're going to cost more yeah a while later yeah some more three or more of a club yeah i think so do it similarly other stuff and it's like to wear it set up that way yeah it's the only thing i don't like about the poms is the the the the stage lighting is not the best the house of blues all like really wet up well but they might fix that might not yeah i saw fix just not spotlight but yeah so either way we're going to be in vegas a lot talk about mma joe fuck them arcade and all this john copenhaver i want the realtime copenhaver is the real mark aiden war machine would have is that the real marketing that's cool real john copenhaver more machine wouldn't have a fucking little tweety bird next to him
what is up with those two eberts a yellow no reaction so it has an egyptian they just joined or there my usc guys warm she's got a picture of him looking all books on it the palms has the naked girl pick on stage yes that is yeah exactly when you're on stage the palms right your left there's a a naked picture is a picture of a girl showing up closer with the new the new place yeah so it's got to answer out actually shown little care rest age because the play when i yeah it's like the plan would come the club yeah it's very strange man but i think we're going to do that i think would do that much more next one we're doing that february is there any female comics that you know of that show their pussy all the time like a the wet pussy like joey shows now you'll get like baby i'll be awesome it's a problem
right do you like yeah is nothing funny about a girl shown a yeah the blood do pull is dekalb award what it's funny things like myself myself fingering myself on my cell phone yeah sir so much funny but she wouldn't be funny if she showed a and i just wanted to talk about it but she showed it she killed i did that k rock thing with her last year there's like a the like like with some k rocks for comedy larisa crush god damn she's funny do do do do
and now as one too yeah he's hilarious that guy's really good right i always seem that star but he's always with his kid he's like being dad mr dad instead of cans he oh he always surprises me with where he goes with his writing i really like his writing you know his his stuff is like he'll go someplace and he'll take a premise that like you would think like maybe you would like think about like maybe i'll talk about this on stage and then you know that's not funny enough but he makes it look like
actually make the joke out of it yeah he beat it down and conforms it and makes it funny with his writing he always takes shit to a place that i'm most surprised come to seattle i'm going to come to seattle motherfucker eventually is it better it changed it i don't know i've not heard that my heart is real good again but this is stupid waited to see this because these hash type things this is stupid or well because it keeps scrolling and they can't fucking read it at least when you go to actual twitter it doesn't do that oh we've got twitter you can actually sit there it's probably way to stop it yeah i'm not looking at hashtags i'm just looking at that that app thing now i'm going to just look at that now can we do that
i don't remember it seems like it seems i think what you streams thinking if that's who is doing it i think you streams thinking if there's a ton of people that do the hashtag then will show up as a trending topic here's a good question salvia have you ever done it it's done salvia you have did you have a video a video or once did you put a video up of you doing who is allah super cool just sort of tripping out you're on top of houses looking at people's lawns or something that is on my on my twelve the long if you feel that reality here and the other reality well i guess i've been right here the real reality here and i was trying to like not make them or locks and never come back hello i'm not that's not how incredible i thought my face became carpet and then it melted and tore off and then i went down a water slide and then i was like i took my first we talked more food
is that that's legal crazy is illegal in some places this actually turning illegal now a lot the dots florida yeah but this fifty states florida i'm never gonna make it illegal and a pretty fast though i think they just did seven states recently or something dan this is this is the mark gaiden whoever you are mark i'm gonna block you yeah you talk too much i don't think so it's a fake one you know it's real it's real market it's wow just like the cheaters if this woman canadian licious says where they all on lollipops also the contestants no i got the contestants high on meth because you want to have a good show you want to a good good motivated group of people out there trying to compete so they said was look
common knowledge that the set supply no banking that hey if you was just no one is out of your drugs these gentlemen they were on the screen style book for years and we gave diet coke and you can have a water if you want that or you could have a regular coke if you don't give a fuck but no there was no no the contestants were not drugs it was just me i was a little bit of weed to try to get through the day you're seeing a pushy with grey pubic hair yet in real life how not in real life of you know really not yet but one day that's all we're going to be seeing one day you gotta be like why do you start shaving your pussy shut up i will talk about that yeah it's going always look dusty oh no something on there what is that
to be able to see the ingrown hair hue of the knees and and downward elbows what other mma rules we like to see on it i don't know you know i think that should be up to a vote with this allow work rules need yeah knees on the ground stuff like that i think in a certain there's a certain part of our knees on the ground it kicks were the cage you can't get away from them in the right place so there's a comes where you get trapped up against cage dude's gonna take damage that they wouldn't normally take whereas like if they did in the ring the thing that the rain is you can slide out of that yeah you can get your head under it and just look at your yeah with that sort of stuff yeah you can't get trapped there i mean you kind of get trapped in the turnbuckle in the corner but not the same it's there's openings all over the place what about having a a warning track around the cage and you can't kick someone in the head on the ground inside that warning truck that's a good idea that's all really
just thought if that's a real good idea right there ladies and gentlemen a warning track around too much were knees on the ground are not effective and so what you do is you grab i get him in a fucking hold and you pull them into the mid me in the head ni on the ground maybe yeah that would that's actually smart move that would make it really interest no more strategies people try to to that warning track that stuff i said this thing about that too you know like any other knee near the knee area yeah oh shit in the middle we're going to we can't go anywhere is going to be in there yeah and people talk shit well it was real smart and stayed away from the need area i was gonna fuck him up on that knee area you scared my strength so even want to bang with me
we don't want to bangor me i don't know fucking said he wanted to fight they want to yeah do do do do this guy says the passy broadcast with ufc with guest announcers you find that limits your broad passing or message with chemistry now no you know those guys were nice guys i did it once with craig hummer and once with matt vast scourge and they're both nice guys very professional you know but gober's might know he's a good buddy we're friends were real good friends so i like having him around it's fun and i think he's excellent at what he does that she is very hard that i have received bill hicks life be frederick thirty yes i'm a couple times while some in la when he was just like just starting to be known
it was fun i saw a clear a room i saw him bomb he went up after this uh this really happy guy and the guy was doing all these like impressions of different cartoon character smoking weed and it was just he's a nice guy but i was just really hacking stuff when the audience is eating it up and hicks went on afterwards with all this george bush war uh john davidson she's coming out of oprah winfrey's ass when oprah winfrey's are no wasn't oprah winfrey who wasn't he would he would do it with a bunch of different people anyway he has these crazy fucking bids and social commentary and theon it's is getting up in giant chunks they were getting up like ten fifty
click on the time they left they abandoned out and he was just eating announced on stage but we were loving it was like me and maybe like seven or eight other comments he was bombing better than i'd ever seen anybody bomb he was bombing like a champion like you didn't give a fuck he's taking a shit right he's doing this bit where i remember who he did sometimes used to do it with oprah winfrey i don't think that was over this time but it was like that that she shits out john davidson so i forget how that goes but was really funny about john davidson was the host of that's incredible yeah or maybe it was the devil fuck john davidson so anyway she's in the middle he's in the middle of squatting down on stage just making these moaning noises and he's taking a shit and who's doing it for like a minute
it looks like yours yeah that usually clears room and then he goes back to it and he did it like without any there was
feeling that he was self conscious it was like to feel like zak yeah barman it wasn't like holy on bomb it was like he was making fun of it and it was awesome it was it was really really interesting to watch it was like the best i'd ever seen anybody bomb but we like i said we laughed our off and i see them kill two i some kill a couple times that of the common connection with all his jimi hendrix jimi hendrix wouldn't want debbie gibson was famous jimi hendrix running into debbie gives at the mall yeah i was really loud funny stuff who is a lot like like sam kennison a lot like tennis and if you could tell like that they they they work together you know they do work together as much as we try not to we pick up a little piece of each other styles numbers from yeah yeah totally and it's part of it is like i don't know it's like we also a powerful right you know why i was so but we also powerful because my friend larry as larry said kind of
larry was the original powerful so you got to give credit to the original powerful but everybody's is powerful yeah yeah it's something nobody's now i never know what's i mean yeah exactly you get it well it's not like the long answer that yeah yeah exactly rat is a perfect example anything like that it is like something that's a lot it's become
a part of the vernacular give each huge all that to to to change and when that happens but that's the original powerful slayer but anyway my point is that bill hicks and can i say who which came first the chicken or the egg you know i don't know who is influencing hello i know we can assume was the godfather calling houston he was the guy that made everybody wanted to comedy was the guy that you know was that the leader of the outlaws and hicks was clearly like his underling but if you look at like the writing like hicks is riding a so much different it out they were so different you know when they when they did they both developed into their own thing yeah you know hicks always had a like say something worse kinison was just we're here for fun we had a party where for k
you know the go with kerrison amira because take yeah i definitely have to say did with jokes like that i think that was an exit light keeps walking on the yeah the who was like wow you can't say better he really out of a lot of kids a better that was an awesome one and the one on the starving children those commercials come on that's one of the greatest comedy bits in the history of the universe when he's doing that bit about those kids starving like what what you want if you don't want you feed them you're right in that no that is like two feet of so people like me seventy seven people that are going to go there and tell you that we wouldn't have to come here five thousand miles with your food a few people live without if you live in a desert coming out the fucker this is that's him it's gonna be a as it is now fuck send we got desert in america too we just don't live in an asshole
and you go god damn the room when i first saw those like that's the greatest comedy i've ever seen ever simply not caring just didn't give a in there was no one my okay because i grew up in like when it's when i first heard tennis and i was living in the really conservative boston really religious everyone's you the catholic or jewish very conservative law angry people but also very conservative you never heard shit like that nothing never heard people have the balls to talk like that even when your friends are around there all by yourself you don't have the balls talk that crazy so to hear something like that you like wow he changed comedy he's one of those guys who came on a change comedy there was nobody like that before him he was a total original sort of a young comedian special you see at the soccer is on a couple of guys but nelson or whatever it was
like are you never let that happen you seem come on you like oh it's often read that from now on it's all away anymore yeah there fine they were all good but he was just so raw so so much enerji so much power and what he was saying made so much is also yeah it was like this is but that was the same one with bob nelson but those involved austin yeah you put balloons in the my impression of a football player then you did but not you yeah it's not it wasn't as good i'm gonna do in cancel did i talk about jesus you think jesus coming back passwords we ever heard from jesus or oh god my left hand
oh that whole screaming style powerful style i mean that's my favorite kind of commie like joey diaz when he's mad but he's fucking screaming at you when he's getting fucking crazy on dollars for gas loved style with kill sama bin laden killed george bush i'll fucking kill kobe bryant and hit the five dollars come on that was like hamburger style i come home and i like the most too but i'd like a moment that that's that's a beautiful thing about comedy is you can't tell someone how to do comedy right nobody could do it correctly there's just anybody's got their own way comedy is just a nutty fucking art form everybody's got a different way of doing it and every way works you know like if mitch head
i was trying to do is act like kenneth and that would be crazy but a kitten was trying to decide which hedberg what i wonder if there's any photos of old old michelle bergman is starting to open mic so he's trying to do like normal avoid comedy fully developed it would be really interesting to see how many guys how you doing well you seen larry the cable guy videos yeah that's incredible dan whitney that god larry the cable guy is the most successful stand up comedian in the history of the world no one's even close as far as live gate sales he sells out like football arenas man football arenas like fifty thousand people josh wolff opens for him they get out a giant stage in a fucking football arena dude that's crazy do you have pictures of it on his phone is showing your pictures is like looking at this is the uh
you look at your what the fuck that's like a world you're doing it for like you're doing like a country how do you connect with all those fucking people your jokes slowly i don't know man you think you could connect with all this we know now yeah you have to be a lot of powerful charismatic motherfucker they would have to really like you to to connect with ten people facial expressions are so far back it's true but the only thing is that they would have to have some big ass screen i'm sure they'll have the football renacer primarily their outdoor things right there are never covered covered sometimes in the heat i don't understand sometimes heated up there if there indoors heather hated it like in minneapolis at the metrodome superdome whatever it's cute it's like thirty below zero now i can have outside the green bay have we have outside like thirty below zero people go to the games app cancel football game god damn that's crazy football games are mother
so when you see those guys with lower that one fam they'll start on picked it up not smell yeah there's something cool about that there is something if you want to talk about a sport that really does represent america that represents america that's a crazy ass fuck sport they will play even if it's pouring rain ran out well that's not good yeah of sundae yeah in some countries they have to deal with inclement weather so much i don't know some places and do it so we will not nothing california baseball's like it's raining what's it all make it seventy three degrees in the incredible yeah and then incredible they wanted to play in the rain like yeah it'll be harder they not even heading each other with anything you know those guys are snowed in and they're running into each other full clip in the fucking freezing cold remember like we were little kid would fall when it was cold out it hurts
much more well catching a football in the cold winter oh fuck it hurts so bad i mean how cold how much does it hurt when you get clipped by a fucking gigantic creative mind god that must be so painful do you think we reached the end of this program will go eat something pretty i think this is about the end we've determined that at two hours in we usually start getting boring shit or got the munchies the munchies we didn't how many questions but hopefully we were but sometimes the questions helps us go onto it yes yes definitely well if it wasn't for you guys we could have this obviously do we just talked to an area that you call the deal for awhile and then go off until they ready for another color you know they just keep going on well we're looking for something like this for a long time we've been looking for something like this like to do some a radio show and i've talked about it like hey maybe you know we could all do like death squad radio or something like that but
really what i realized is that the best way to do it is to do it like this do it on the internet and will have this thing evolved turn this room into like real like set up where you can sit down and watch us yeah and we're going to have laptop setup so that we can play videos like you know like hey there's a you know some crazy new fucking animal can video figure out a way to fix so when we do play but just plug it in and then the screen goes that next week we're going to have a completely different next week is when we're going to have all that all that stuff like video on video we could have like three people talking at once were just he's going to have his internet it's done let's make sure we have to change the router next week we have a bunch of fun shit yeah well we're going to do we're going to keep doing this every week and we're going to like it's to it's going to expand and eventually i think eventually the internet is going to make its way into your car that's what i think is going to happen i think the internet would podcast stuff
dialogue we aren't making mp threes of this we should have maybe we can we can we can still make it yeah ok well we'll start making mp threes and put it up as podcast 'cause there was nothing about this what you needed to see us so we're going to do shit like this and then we're going to going to do a lot more internet stuff really what would you good about any sort of a television show is the money and the fact that people now come out to see your stand up which is what we're always trying to work on yeah i mean if you never seen ari ari fucking hilarious there's a lot of dudes that are out there that are headline and these big clubs that in my opinion there are not as developed as ari is there not as funny as rs but ari doesn't have that many credits so it's hard for just clubs to book him and then they assume that people are going to come out and see him you know people come in and see somebody because they know that guy from a movie or from a television show or whatever but ours are filthy pig and he goes on
staging these auditions and they say whatever you do don't talk about rape so what is already doing this not seven minute rapists which is a hilarious bit but you know like the reason why some dudes are funny is also the reason why people don't find out that some dude when we have a guy that we know this probably one the funniest guys ever it's got brian holtzman and no one knows who brought horse runs cuz he's so crazy and now he should have it should have you should have hit big he was the guy that like he was so crazy we would always go into the back of the room and watch him when he was a real hatred yeah get so angry and nutty and every now and then a break character just and a nice guy to be around to when he was hanging around at the club was always friendly and you know what i would love to see a reality show with brody stevens and him and they lived together why brody was too sensitive he get mad but would that be great brody stevens and brent arnst
no i think in in brody stevens together the following comedians would be worthwhile for like i sure like if you look at like like the kardashians but it was actually real real i think would be it yeah i could get them to help fucked up some more what's the appeal of keeping up with the kardashians just that she's got a fat ass that's it that was a yeah they're done there's a sort of a lot of people are done to the errors they don't mind well sort of you know they have some money not not not like paris hilton money with lots of good yeah but on the just gotta put one on tv people become famous just because their ass the vida guerra chick i know is she probably isn't who i am i know she is why because of her ass i don't even know her voice sounds like i know her face looks like joey diaz but she's but she's only doing ass stuff
slipknot she said nothing you know what he's doing but they'll take something like what's the name but look at your tv star now jennifer lopez how about that famous because their ass not really famous 'cause we're talent but recognized her ass that's like one celebrity everybody talk if you talk about jennifer lopez you talk about her ass there's a lot of celebrities have great asses into feet our feet are hot fucking weird al what's up with people liking feet that's like a really strange thing very strange thing but anyway we're always trying to do something fun we could all do it together and just hang out and shoot the shit because we have these conversations sometimes we say man you know this is way more fun than like like a radio show why we
your own thing like this just figuring out how to get it made is always the bitch that's always the hard part but this is easy now that there's something like this we don't have to figure out shit so will do this i think it's a good creative outlet like we have to go over what we said today but there was some funny shit there could have been bits you know 'cause we're just really have a three hundred and sixty three hundred and sixty of the whole room multiple cameras face each other multiple cameras were going to the camera may happen next week they have it set up so you can choose which camera you're so it's multiple cameras can we have it so they set up to choose which camera is but everyone comes off one sound fee right oh that's awesome alright well that's what we're going to do ladies in september four square box and i'm just going to do more the shit let you guys know what the fuck is going down this sunday night rei are at the nine hundred and thirty club in washington dc and it's always old stomping grounds so if there's any you hookers out there with the itchy mouth
then let it happen do miles topic i'm still willing but it scratches nothing to do ari ari's been saying he really would like a blowjob and show in dc cricket on our new president barack obama and on that note ladies and gentlemen thank you very much it's our little youtube or you excuse me ustream ustream show and we'll see you next week and eventually we'll have a regular time that we try to adhere to every week and it might move around a little bit but for the most part will be like around now like wednesday afternoon possibly they are about if you're starting more on time yeah people can use like after you will be on you know this does the right
Transcript generated on 2019-10-04.