« The Joe Rogan Experience

PODCAST #43 - Doug Stanhope, Brian Reichle

2010-09-24 | 🔗
Date: 09-23-2010 The raw audio from the Joe Rogan weekly live USTREAM video show with redban and Doug Stanhope.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
the european experience
yeah
the man leonard skinner the actual man let's get died as that will happen as he was like a gym coach my conduct he was evident and free day he was here evidently the gym teacher that they named their band after really so he's dead that's rap we all go for this show as all are sponsored by the flashlight i'm not sure i'd want to extend up and are discussing is for the bright boy so to say that you have not i have not fucked a flashlight are you still a phantom masturbation everything i only in the most clinical medicinal quickly get out of my way you didn't spend any time like lasting no lust now none whatsoever when did that stop happening actually over years i mean i remember even at the man shall i fuckin no interest in the jug ease so dull a certain point time in your life your fortunate if you're still chastened at your fortunate psych way down
yeah why i remember what if you had told me a twenty they are you lose your sex drive and what would you do if you are trying to but people you and then you think at forty three what could i have done with my life if i wasn't just china fuckin below loads and chicks well i guess we haven't stopped beating off but i see words ridiculous what is it by the way i just fucked the can ones they didn't want less widely different than the other one that is like a drunk sloppy check really sloppy and loosened plus like iran that shit it was good manufacturing issued its mixing up your bitches is good is meant for a different kinds of brian its is meant for earth here it looks like a beer and open up tablets are fake the john ass the idea behind it and bronze there's one fucked i've fucked a rubber vagina once blue a load in it and then fact just
to put it away when i come days later i grabbed and it fuckin stunk like all get out to look at this one it's a fake vampire i that's the vampire mouth at twilight series what is wrong people the aliens didn't need more evidence there were retorted and it's time to land look at this fuckin thing but get this thing can this it yeah come on railing ache whereby amount that you fuck what yeah figure down the great difference is horrors motivation answer if i'll try one and if you about it in like a terms of just being pragmatic and don't body maintenance when you should alone disregard should a beggar load and its get take cover more to build up though it could call you a sell out when they buy as all traps blue ribbon sponsor tour at i switch beard minute ike go
i'm gonna get drunk anyway gives a shit what kind of beer and drinking that selling out do something about perhaps blue ribbon that's become cool again like the fact that it yeah it's it's it's been that way for a while yet the fact that it blows is the selling point it didn't used to be used as a legal hipsters is that the poor thing three dollar here i just don't like drinking out a kansas stage i was my big beef get a fuckin bottle there's a deuce accommodating the ordnance john tobin we were i was living and know that name this is a radio show thinking buffalo someone abstaining arc anyway when we were and i my early twenties we got fuckin wicked drunk on on forty ounces black beer you know like old english and the dragon hanged cobras wants as eighteen and i had just move to allay we drank maybe three of them and i have passed out on a sidewalk we these watched the show why the movie superfly dick
material superfly just two like guys talking like black eyes drunk therefore can of forties on forties it's a different gonna drop it reckless drunkards engineer by the government's pretty pretty clear joan as we say in that something is given men estrogen which is causing men to be gay was toothpaste there was one of my favorite desired die manager said he saw you on alex jones i haven't seen it but he said it was hilarious how you'd bugged the camera lenny was go and plug into crazy just look at the cameron go well double whammy of crazy cause i was armed with eddie bravo probably want to talk about cam trails because any bravo love and death eddie bravoes convincing governments brian shit on us it's fucking crazy and i even try to come any browser with some science i said well i know this dude whose a pilot and explained to me that
those clouds created by a certain amount of moisture in the atmosphere combined with the turbines the jet engine and creates these clouds that's what happens this video hd man is videos and it is wont by it very he's convinced so here we are trapped in our chosen out i'm doing a document around i right now that the government is definitely spraying us of analogous that any bravo is going j m wants is talk you better come out i'm gonna fuck the government's spraying the population every day why what did he do that now not knowing that there be a lot of people has only airman this is that those pleasure is cut to symbolism that's what a giant one for the whole population is not really working it's kind of a real slow process but they can keep this breakdown france have you ever seen those up like trucks are good unrestrained spray for
looks like a nominal than they like dat seymour scary exact real flying to the government definitely has worked on some whether don't get me wrong i mean i think for sure they have sprayed people a certain point in time and others video and people can say the resumption surely we tried it mean but it's probably very civic areas and avert for various civic reason and some fucked up aramis you didn't let the people know they were in on but i'm sure they did not do it every day here to our day here they're getting sprayed on to man but you know that most of this one photo that was really crazy and then i went and wait where was this photo take her back airport and i don't know it was right next to relax and because i found the store behind and was the source of a google the name of the war and i found out they who is right next to allay ex when he got what he believes in a man he believe there i mean i felt rather than on a show because i couldn't really there i stand as i know i'm we round and for a year now stones but i couldn't take them seriously and i couldn't he was
evidently thought i was coming in as moreover on his side guy really they as he hasn't seen me since we did that kevin booth i always try to find things that i do but i try to be as friendly as possible with em i really like our yes yes he's a fungi joy go into the water to them we ate with them we hung out with him he's a good guy he's just he's is easy and our wound up and so i was trying to find some common ground were actually agree on em like always up some stuff like you know like operation northwards yeah that's the one that's a good one and in due course you can get into the kenny assassination but that gets a little grades locrinos what really happened there yeah i can't put together last year very well so fucking though the further back in history the more open to it reputation there's some shit that's really interesting that that he turned me until one of them was one called operation midnight climax where the gun
meant ran brothels in new york and in san francisco and where they did lsd jobs through yeah and he turned me i'd like to get once you see that those things are real northwards and am k ultra all at the negro while they could be doing anything and then you realize i don't give a fuck yeah i agree does in fact my day i've been come into the exact same conclusion that there are certain in life that you're putting all your energy towards and they're not helping you at all right nor are they saw stopping anything you're not helping the cause you not about there you know but it is worth a kiss pointing out so that maybe someone somewhere along the line here some of the shit you say and laughs added and thinks may
it's almost like in one direction or another is almost like being a magic show and being able to go i know how you did that yes you're still gonna have a show i'm not gonna fuck up your old vegas experience but i know how you did it rides jacket raisins comics beyond that out maybe just makes them up their game maybe that's all it's it's something stuff i'm interested in but i had to stop what making yourself so its jaws like where you just like a crazy debt albeit three o clock in the morning i'll be fuckin clicking on some link about some new loophole that goldman sachs use in some fuckin mattei you be article and i'm just gonna fuck what is done is this really does not that i don't know what the fuck am i going to do what am i gonna do i'm going to devote my whole life to this shit i like to do i want to know how many times alex jones shows up at a city council meeting about fucking street
sweeping laws or some not make something he can affect yeah that's interesting pray does never do that we what about i would do that dog stand help but right now demons are ascending upon our government they are deep embedded in our political system does stand up you go on the road you tell your jokes you think all swell and good because you try it i ve met camp second way about the fire i mean bird's eye was china do my life i can't do it well what's his name fuckin conspiracy theory oh jazz even tour that show the conspiracy there is look so better what we want realises rumsfeld are you trying to tell me that the kennedy assassination might have been one low not reward while that where they overproduce it so he sits down with his writers like what they happen
to some conspiracy that not aware of but i'm gonna go reda and then he surprised that a former when i just can't walk into the cia and look at far when importance of war with iraq without rounded dishes sexual was i here's where you're right foregoing ladies and gentlemen we talk a little bit of a loudness mild just didn't dislike elected to that i just float around whether from middle shoulda governor did you see him on open anything when jim norton torn apart now buck and beautiful he got do she would normally go bully with norton and the law the issue is get bollywood nor is that some people have done them his whole life is like fuck you he's physically intimidating and when we are talking about like a legitimate question about nine eleven or whatever it is it s piracy theories in its legitimately question and you know really not a condescending way at all and given targets fuckin crazy and then no one gets crazy back and
to rwanda believing in walker off the sharp joining our doing here yeah irregardless bet it's great because it's like but most comics were picked on most comics word produced around more younger and the last thing comics like is a bully alice someone like this so this was like when when i heard it immediately tax at him and call them open i saw my sir was the most ass if they had ever seen it was beautiful because norton is a flashy ball of a hundred and fifty pounds and jes even tourism fuckin form navy seal is big giant head niece so what was it get in his face ass he just got stupid with them you know it's like the way he describes things i take this out of the stand what now he's got them comic good to keep lean into yeah yeah stand as an awkward situation this whole catches a terrible idea
in our view i can't look over there because not only do i not like to see myself but it's a delay so i'm seeing myself minutes ago have to look at it also as i don't like what to have a chat and the chaplain with the shadows it would be like thurgood so come come come with the child learns suck my dick or deck suck my dick or take it a hundred times in a row nebula etc outlet of hate never lake google search my name i was like that google saying do not to spur gus smirk these markets if i show i do people will yell out deal every euro unifying every zyobite forgave people are yelling shit out that's of and i was i never even really do i've talked about it on stage if times but yeah heard
the audio you talked about the time with you and i did it or i thought you were gonna die by every flocking show like it was my closing fit for a year it was those one of the weirdest psychedelic situations the folks at home doug we're doing a man shown was like in the death throes right but i doubt whether it here we spend all night writing trying to save the fuckin thing we know is a disaster we fucked mean look we both agree the fact that everybody was disappointed by how that choking but no one was more disappointed and we were there it was a mass and what we now need to get into details but if you want now no no it's idea is over it was terrible shock but there was some great shit and i defy anybody to watch the
my midget sketch than those it another man on edge it yeah your beer sketch a divine anybody to our central in this whole area where you trying to steal the old measured from the man shall bring loved the million new edge with us i mean it was it was the wrong thing that the time because our show is not the learning wasn't arians was priceless does that was my first real yes television and just how they fuck it up we could have we could have done something on the internet we could have done something internet style where there is no input whatsoever and we had a great far right and when the when they came but with the idea the idea was we're gonna have nudity more blurred out immediately i'm thinkin joe ideas can be naked beginning of us just as this talent someone like that and then they then i said on what about swears and they said he could believe it out but about talk about what we want tiggle it's a good thing if we get sued this is what stones tommy we get sued it's a good thing like we are gonna fuck shit up
like i'm just can't wait for abortion monologues arson when we got in there was two totally different story since we're gonna have and the audience wouldn't have liked it any better now they would have still hated it but we wouldn't fuck we would have had to accept our as we would have to rebuild and make a new audience mild there is one point on which on stuart did news to host the daily show right people forgot there was another guy in a really we shouldn't called dementia we should have said we are really into the idea of taking over that time slot or that idea that doing this new area when it told us to parents and probably fuckers women here they were they were convinced that name was gonna sell everything and i was gonna be the big potion there's named brand and make its it's not the same sheldon at the same guys are not here anymore now the writers you hear what the fuck you talk you knew what he was a fear fear factor fourteen hours a day that was a reacted so greedy owes like i am who shows the same time a second step that money like never work again never work in again never work in again there was a dummy do terrible
they never do more than one told him if you didn't have to work would you stop now that's up to a stand up and maybe i like doing you have see to man it's nothing i do right now is really work stand up i mean i can i can regulate how many times a year ago out and the eu have see i look forward to its funds so that what do this week and i could stay at home and i go to the movies or i fight indianapolis i want some deeds peter fuck out of each other from five when i get paid for you to call it does never fails at work but if it was a good sitcom somethin like that yeah you gotta shouted office you get did you guys want to hear the gas oil and gas and the boats would reintroduce this guy this is so this is jesse ventura opium anthony jim norton him get into an argument brain yes sure just bodies identified domino
well we'll just fly without my government told me there so you know i don't really like are you sure you're rabies fly all lines or their last year's wired or believe my government my government wants to be so many times they lied to me about the gulf a targeted pretty important ally you go back too far with kenya we take it back to me about you said to me that way it has got all this happened in two thousand for hours and we're not going back there said we send our guys or to war without even a ship and i'm telling you know that's not really ready when did you go to war i'm not sure you don't know but i say pull them out of everything because the military when we are attacked by i feel a nation we should not it should be proven first idea we prove that you feel we didn't do also feel they fucking pushes by nine eleven so we're always disagree
george i love you feel that the u s government to hide it how can i do for you i judge i must hurry now we have not been told the truth you feel that well ok wyndham it all right if you calm down a moment you yelling he's on the other when you're the guy that kind of like i'm on your yeah monday morning jesse so bringing up to you i saw that you said about let me talk about that talk of all time when you don't show over people i knew not what to address point by point you act like we say send our voice to warm welcome we ve never said that i agree with you i want to pull them out of germany i want to pull them everywhere the u s military should never be
for other countries i don't care i was gonna i dont care of james violates the south that's not my business i just think that if we were attacked we have the right or in order to respond so that's not some warmonger say fuck the voice and a moment that's all i want to suggest a jersey this sense and looks at jimmy why is it fair pointed the way you feel when you said that no didn't listen where european i laughed over you yasser use now yelling at me talk about your point you join us something so choose your guys or just fully share your your warmongering that's not the true yes i stand it looked like you you're a great merit
what a great american but not of one country called there are saying i'm a coward i have no right we let me stop their decisions not everything you know you ve ever listened to something and it was a long time ago and you have it in your head is being one thing and then watch it again and you go wait a minute what i'm member when they had the loose change guy on their own they fucking decimated em but he's not i was not a performer he's not in iran has issued those guys the fucking there's so many new york guys and i think jimmy norton is one air funny is a great guy off the cuff probably the funniest comic what i saw when i saw the video was originally i must have not seen it all i must have solved is jimmy shouting down and he walked out of the room i must have seen the debate that went on the discussion that one before i must now ideally without remember that i think it is remember him standing up the point we're about to get to unemployment
our party if if you want i just watch the most dangerous man in america the daniel ellsberg story was at its head he released pentagon papers he was a top advisor to the pentagon during vietnam and knew that it was all bullshit from the gulf a tonkin all this good shit that we were doing and released the papers to the new york times is nixon call them the most dangerous man in america it and it was like twenty three thousand pages of all fucking lies you were told about vietnam and will you watch that fuckin movie jim norton and tell me that they dont send people into version die for no reason other than political jim the good guy but he's a republican he's got like this right wing lean to him it's alene you now he goes conservative and i think he does it get support from them i think he likes it i like the idea of it and these correct absolute a lot of people car liberals columns of liberals are why
continuity shut the fuck up you know i think but liberals fuck up more stuff way more in my day in my my my own personal life you can smoking bars that's not republic you should be able to throw the fact one of the bar decides they're gonna stop smoking and i understand the patrons that work there but you can in plenty of smoke ryanair what do they want to quit while you know what they should quit the job and quit smoking ok you can't be around smoke right we understand your point but it's bad for your health but there's people the deuce what could be more than willing take those jobs days when i was playing pool all poor halls were smoking and i didn't mind i liked it or some about it what an obvious amusing that as a frivolous example but it was the first one that came to light but that as far as the nanny state itself is concerned that's mostly liberal policy yeah he norton anti liberal alienates right there's lots cutty fuckin
throwing their cigarettes out of their previous humbly fucking times you seen i've seen that seven times could it so ironic i was how a number five fucking throws a cigarette i was previously the day with a meat is murdered bumper sticker i wanted to talk in grab him and pulleys had just just rip it right off his fuckin weak spine to shut the fuck up stand where nortons come from i understand this this rebellion against but its there's there's absolute proof that the government is put bon harm's way absolute prove their profits relentless proof not just a few aberrations but relent over the course of time repeatedly and no you don't about it until long years and years lay so yes the fact that i would if i had to bet money i would say on some level nine eleven was it inside job on some level right but what they do is they take every possibility and
buying them though as though there all actual fact they were not really planes what we're saying our drowns ladies and gentlemen your bottom you can see the box very clearly i'm looking at two pixels one grey was white and what the fuck it is at all my fears like there's no parts of the plain that when in the pentagon but yet you look at a pitcher sectors is big parties may well we know this fuckin broken wheels and shit that plan the pentagon ashore there's a video of any other than people like the video is only very plainly fucked you know one frame things one five hundred miles an hour slams into a building unexploded why do you think it's a missile it could be anything i'd be referring afoot boy you know it doesn't matter each of those little things like the fact that they show a lady hanging the whole of the world trade center whether the plane made a whole waving for help but you end and you think you're just logically ok
hot enough to melt steel how is that woman sitting there in a dress waving the window how is she not on fire like that wise yeah that's it maybe there is a scientific explanation for that will that is disinformation saw about right you say some absolutely ridiculous things like but people knowledge gentlemanly were ufos stationed in new jersey they needed a distraction to get out to state that will add shit like that too that's real right and then while that get all us actually that anybody jesse's then tourists showed did everything it is talking about by being overproduced acting like eating he never our youth like me what we have had our shrivel files with is a year tv show you just walked in and you didn't know what it was gonna be about what's wrong said when i do you answered he bore dainty getting the snails your another nine eleven thing was that the amount of
people on those plates cause you and i we could fly for a living there thirty percent capacity how often do you get on a fuckin plain where is a third full light yet very rarely but all the euro say so again there's things it made me go buildings that have requested building seven's the big one try to building seventy one i don't claim any knowledge of this is that people get off frantically start you questioning the folk inefficient story so what are you a truth are you gonna fuckin nine eleven truth or like you is it s interesting to me i don't give a fuck i didn't i don't know i don't like new york as an irvine last night arable spectrum centre there's a destination mall and i said
a round as a set of buck and nine eleven happened here i don't think it would make national news maybe maybe one local guy would read the letter to the editor complaining about our ruined is reservations appear jack that's pretty funny but i'm interested but i don't i don't care it doesn't effect my day i am fascinated then i'm interested due care no you know all jokes aside loud people died there are people new people who die but people die everywhere all the time and it's crazy that we were we don't such an influx of knowledge right now that you can go online and find some shit that you should care about and i had a packing cut my list is full care about enough already the connections that were supposed to have the people that we don't know because they were born in connecticut as opposed to people that we don't know that were born in iraqi buying that that's that that's work it's ridiculous it's like with the connect
the information that we have with the internet at a certain point time they're not gonna be able to keep selling the whole idea of a planet or of an individual country or individual state they're gonna have eventually just were we have to go to one more one world government after you now prone new world order and ass we have to be the same thing we can fighting over each other because you know those guys are like a million people die in iraq and embryos a long does now but over here but it is that is over here too so here over there the same thing the people you don't now there were born somewhere else who fuckin got jack
like tat and therefore we we tore down borders i could stop caring about people closer to me it's like you get trapped in that whole idea of you know this is my team these are my people and you know someone fuckin plays a country music song throws up a flag and no man fuck it feels good it feels good to be an right feels good god bless america feels good centred around with a bunch other people in your i'll drink and where a resilient people how is my fucking palace while the focus on the planet on july fourth blank ass much aid in your rank and that's how people get recruited that's that's what happens you know would be great if f generations didn't overlap what remains is to carry on the nonsense that were if there were a great ever give people like we just showed up now with all than the of the basic skills motor skills that ill instincts but we
still had do innocence in ignorance of a baby one generation dies and then the next day the next generation starts so they can't passed down ridiculous notions that nations and you ever stop and think when you see all this crazy shit this is where our mom lately they ever stop think about all this nonsense to keep carrying on despite the axis information that we have and if we look at ngo maybe this is like a natural pattern you know this thing i've been triple out on about like animals general instincts and like we we look like wolves and we see the alpha for the beta either pack we know he'll likely die on his own and we go away you know that's just that's it it's too hard ought to be a wolf you know they haven't you that that's natural and we look at these may be that's all natural but we never look at ourselves as the direction we're moving in his natural just maybe we super fucking incredibly complex but ultimately natural and this dear of you know that we have so much control and so much power over a future maybe that's it
shit may may be the reason why all this nonsense is in places because that's like almost universal order to keep this process moving in the direction it supposed to be moving and that is what i probably didn't get the word in edgewise but with alex jones he would say is trying to make the point because out of hugely against procreation and he was a while you know have book and if we don't make it smart people than fucking dumb people you gotta have a fuck off yes you will always be outnumbered and eventually yes my people don't have do exist what have you smart people stop procreating then you give the earth to the dumb and you don't fucking create poor bastards who have to suffer in it i used to think tat until i have kids i also think that like procreation like music what do you make another person doesn't matter and then once i had kids i started realizing while this can be fun
enjoy the shit out of this and he can make these all happy people and it makes your life more happy and it makes their live happily get a chance to make this little person a raise them happy i dont claim to have any information about what the fuck is going to happen to the world and although take your sent year you're similar cynical view that you know we're fucked we're going to certain road over population the pollution of the environment nobody seems to care the corporatism of the other small countries and fuck and rob the resources and pollute them in this and that war and fuck and chaos and where the fuck is that opening up i'm not completely convinced i don't think i have the answer i don't think i could have ever imagined that this could have taken place if i was a monkey never imagined that we'd be doing a fuckin podcast right now
just sitting in my office just shoot no shit and it would spread through the internet you can do whatever the fuck you wanted and that this would be the kind of thing we could reach people are gonna emails from people from australia from fuck and tanzania i get italy china get emails from all the were somehow and others has had some of em say use a lot of em i suck in china most of my emails honestly are really positive every night it's an email you you tube do sheemale but i like to think that's always one guy too there's this one guy don't produced by its oil what my point was that i could never have imagined this taking place so why am i pretending that i know how this is going to turn out why pretending that i have for can do come in your pockets for sure not necessarily but that's what i stopped giving a fuck is when i realized i'm not gonna procreate so it doesn't matter duncan trust mind fuck me last me nasa was monday when we do is we ve got back in my monday duncan mine fuck me on monday
by saying something like how do we know how long we get to live for an i'll get reincarnation use like maybe we live forever maybe carnation is you this life and then you know you think you're fuckin go on a bridge in a truck and you wake up from the dream like the fact that almost died but you did die and you just in this new thing now we have a hesitant rumbling life with embedded memories and embedded ideas and you keep going on and on and this time so i stopped back i look at my past months i am not convinced that was me look do you see these right here i saw all my my martial arts metals these are all from type lando tournaments when i won the u s silver metal no u s cup we had a problem with gentlemen you know make me hard sign but anyway i don't believe i won those i don't believe are released to do that i don't really know how to do it still and i
go out i'll hit the bag and someone or something like that i go i really know how to do that x amount of it's in my head but i dont believe that that's really me in those so many years ago it's a different human being you're far every cell in your buys replaced every seven years the units but his theory about where thought of minutes afterwards unfortunately but the i understand what he sang we're u you your wake up you're like oh you know you might have just read born or whatever rioting but you still getting old the whole time does manner doesn't matter you might be right but the memory of you getting all does this life you dont know whether or not the memory of you getting old is taken from another you have no idea you have no idea how long you been here all nonsense every time you wake up your trusting you're on the same track in the same game that you're you now and in the same fuckin movie and then the single meadow does the every time you wake up look everybody care to die but notice scare to go to sleep and they ultimately seem to be the same thing may chemically there even the same thing your brain
reducing the empty when you're in rem sleep and they believe it also produces it when you're about to die and you think that's a spy above all these crazy near death guarantees and you know you ve had the empty you know difficult though that if you didn't know that that existed and then someone was trying to describe to you they would do it no justice right their black could talk you could talk all day you can you can describe it is what you always say before you try and grant shit happening to you every night and you die and that she's going to happen when you die we don't we don't know what the fuck we are we know we do not know this is real you assume that its real because i'm i'm agreeing it's real and your ingredients real we're on a room together but it is all just trust i'm just too seeing that you guys are even fuckin real in arms testing that europe's and i'm trusting that this this that i woke up is some new life that i just started because i was some fuckin trucker in iceland and i went into a frozen lake in line with the fuck knows you're the only one they exist
to put it on about that like everyone else is just like a part of your brain we know that's the theory there's a lot of people who subscribe to the theory that the reason why the world is ending is because your life is ending your life is really the creator of this universe in you this universe all exists in your mind and as you get closer to death the world was more more fucked up fascism and fuckin government control in their chips in my brain where it really is always old people that it too that the most sure i don't like you i don't know if you're not like you were in those old people by the way are in your mind about them nobody knows what they read the old people in your mind that are playing this fucking game out with you yeah but
if you know that if you knew that was the case it would fuckin ruin your day what it though i would still enjoy the fuck out of it still enjoy like it's just a strange ride daisy groundhog data he didn't joint yeah but that was different same fucking life over and over again bryce slightly we are talking about slightly different everybody saying if i like i consent that you are just part of my imagination and i'm creating you then that would suck
but the real question is whether that would set what a guy what would wear wake up every day the what should i have joe rogan dated eight about that's not just me it's you you're you're living in your imagination and i would hope that i have a better imagination why it's fuckin fantastic less if i'm let me say something right now if i am just a player in your imagination i am honoured at what you ve reality like fuckin fly around no name brian and the chairs with my imagined like it now you ve done an amazing job your imagination as a bit player in your imagination i won't tell you saying
very much everything you ve created at the wars during this it's brilliant making you plus spoke up my ass you know what you are the master you the man behind the curtain i don't even know what i'd have you say of europe by imagination listen you ve done it amazing job what you ve done in afghanistan the quagmire you know what i'm really love i really love the drug war references that you throw into it the fact that we're over there in afghanistan in they produces ninety percent of the world's opium i love how you mean my imagination not only would you big heaving compliments upon me but you'd you'd give me what is to can too for i want to ask you to thank you for the party lipstick man i love those eyes it takes years that you created i love how you may just in bieber justin bieber is brilliant brain right when you think it's over right we think it's over well there's no because we know more no more no more boom a new one more ridiculous than ever before us is a fucking i i
don't know why i know i have to know who that guy is i don't watch any shows like that i don't even listen to music but i know justin bieber bieber's i don't watch gossip fuckin shook it it's something you could bury me in the ground under eight feet of fuckin soil and leave me there like a book in david blaine trick still somehow find out who justin bieber is no why i dont know why either i haven't even heard his voice i do not even know what his voice on how to get yogurt with him i don't know what he looks like i just know the name and he's a big pots and c n and dot com i go to for my mainstream news ok i go there and is an article kim car dashing upset about playboy pictures she's echo some pictures when she paused for playboy ninety ninety seven got released and somehow there on the internet that's like title
it's getting pissed off because they showed a fuckin old golf came right you know what the fuck are you talking but this is a real news how do i know about this i can't stop reading i want another details what happened oh the guy who did the playboy shoot he had a bunch images that were unreleased and finally he released them mother fucker apparently since you can get pissed after you had that that porn video either that port authorities porn videos actually some big fuckin throbbing black ok big black too i don't know i'm confident young black men whose handsome and athletic and she was stuck in his heart black dick that's a rap
complain about anything you're crazy bitch you made it a lie i know her i mean you know radiation are you know her beauty she wants you to know how and i fuck in haiti i broke out of my head do hate it but i don't love it i love it i love the retardation of it all levy we go we would be out of business i didn't have everything in the world a hate we would be but we're wouldn't be here we would be funny if we didn't we have it about a name tags on right now how we have to have our hair cut over our call if i didn't who work and kim car dash and i was i don't agree with the whole buddhist monk ideology of living where robes no masturbation no fund because then you miss out on some of the fun of hating fist you miss out some of the fund this like in a part of me that knows that this is the wrong path enlightenment western shitting on people and fuck and torture but doesn't know fuck you stupid you work
are you trying to figure out the way internet is it's only a matter of time and its actually going on now before the just regular civilians are part of the same kind of fucking hate mail and internet trash talking that we deal with on a regular basis where you know you ve go out to lunch on a date with some woman and she goes he had put on her face book he had stinky brands that and i was born and sea links to your facebook one of the guys in someone fuckin fortune finds it and they are a threat on animal and support revolution w any d you know a mail this guy you're you're fuckin constellations what you're gonna find out what people really think about you and you're not gonna like it and i'm gonna get so what we take for granted just being honest versus being civil but really gonna have discharged
owning who they are a year i agree and i think another thing is going to happen is that this is only one stage in an endless stage of disclosure and that's what we're out right now is the beginnings of transparency between all people in all information of all all acts everything you ve ever done everything you ve ever thought right we're eventually gonna be able to like literally sink up to one fuckin hive mind that's gonna happen google maybe google right google might be skynet what whatever you know its inevitable and then everybody once again we hardly journalists sign it keeps going for the folks that are on itunes it don't get to see this we want ugh when i we're on the man show i know we complained but this is pure evidence yet and that was that was the story hard we had a game show that we created called make me hard and it was it was one of the best things we did when it actually turned out and the reason why i was one of the best things we ever did is because it is training cock and training cock yet but we did this
called make me hard and then and we actually made the show and when we know talk to the commonest attribute whenever they didn't like hard hard was too dangerous they wanted to be make me stiff and we're like what the fuck the difference is the most this was riots and argue right before we're about to tape to our department has to rush we they allowed fuckin full open any car open tyrannical because we're gonna blurred simulated fellatio on a banana by a midget is up in all the languages is this was the gig there was a kid they would strap into a chair and they would put this harness actually issued a back up because a lot of people pray dont remember make me laugh was a game show where people try not to laugh while comic stratum other guys get their face and say silly things so
me hard we set them up where were they have this box on their package and we would decide when it lit up indicating they had an erection yes so we had so they had and i do not get a boner during these sexual so coarse would go off midgets witty bananas it would go off and we have this really hot trans she was so hot that bravo i were the commonest or one night and we were coming down we had a part of the high at the coming so parking lot was and work down the rabbit she was coming up at any a picture on the historic coming up are now well she's pretty that's it i've seen is a pig that's a lot her name is vanity and choose could totally billy but if you ever think that you can't get tricked by training there's no way i would know i wouldn't know you you wouldn't care she
he blew a dude we know and just did it because weiss tried once on wet and their ones that and then she call them after she was at our hotel and who has actually next day heirs of the key so hot or call an emergent her name was vanity you can find your leg i think it's vanity ts you google i've found sort of people who could blame so anyway the wheat the guys you know strapless table and cheek climbs all over him and he's elector tits right divergent i can remember poor fuckin guy we torture this guy's memory forever so he's easily everyone's god you are you are you people cheering and then she pulls this training dick that looks like lead
a poison monkey dick it look sick it has been hit so many female hormones it was like an old man in a wheelchair cuts red tape and she pulled it out it was lack it was black africans are always innocent bunches now not done it's all done immunity fail but mere profiles goodman suck it still even a soft it feels good of you suck your right but i think there was less pubs of agro maybe she'll pop agora stove art but she's just full of female hormones or he is do you know the sultan that's kind of crazy and before i soon enough ever said this but now i think i can do it is there a start reading penthouse magazine raised recently were and there was this thing at the end of the magazine that said coming next month pet pet of the month and then there was this girl's photo and stuff like that so i became friends with her on twitter just to follow around see who this girl is and then following months she wasn t the peddler month and uncertain
start following her twitter a little bit more and she's a guy what may just kind of reckon they swept it on the rug so a dude snuck in and became a penthouse patently idly which obviously data photo shoot because it was saying what we do on aim i don't remember man recycling you gotta come it was able to lock it where's alexandrians legatee what once it was it was like you have a thing about you go without should find out i don't think it's no one caught it really i think i just noticed it because i followed her on twitter why do you think she's a dude because she's a dude if i cause she's you suck does not know if you look at the every looked at her and then and then she talks about it she was talking about it on her twitter full talk about being a dude initially her twitter just went away woe debater
later elder she's pocket imagine a fancy struggle dr whereas this is all allegedly let's say your truck driver in cincinnati you beat after the fuckin july additional penthouse and you find it was not do you probably got a good lawsuit some fuckin like it was a wall how to combine its i just want to know why they didn't notice that how can you tell maybe she has a disease maybe or something what maybe some africa is easy as it does what the fuck does mean brown something double filled the whole world the fuckin sex world it's a strange world yeah pretty fuckin aids is used the word shallow but why is it but that using the word gives a different imitation and what i mean but they're really does not it's like sex itself does not a lot of ways to go with it right aren't i stay dick and can our aid is different does that is so
people that are involved in that tend to be p or who are easily amused what are we set about like there was a bunch of friends who were they took me to the marijuana policy project thing at the play where mansion and iraq on off i cannot mansion you'll have the falcon man look would have did look we have tat tobacco took us understand there's a big difference between being a try the girls like you are right now because retracted girls there's a giant difference between that and making a living taking pictures of them naked so guys can beat off and then the whole world you live in and you have a mansion and you pay them to hang out with you because you think that it's a cool image so you have all these girls that you're out the of the payroll and you're this old do that you're the fuckin mad i was one of my favorites bucket bids you ever did other having a bit yeah those that day lucky girl do something
creepy about that this creepy about anybody that's that's getting money off of other people being naked and their rich and the people were eight or poor right that's that's that and again it's all it is is fuckin nudity in fucking it's like playing a kazoo no it is always so many fucking you can put on the budget kazoo together and make it cause you work is is just to resume music at the end of the day but that is true but if you are a young raging man with a fuckin throbbing boner and then the strong sex drive right near you no nine twenty nineteen twenty and you're hanging out in vegas in the beneath your bank new chicks overnight that's exciting i know what it is but be it's it's that is a market has been created by falls morality in the other people at her again sex and make it is difficult thing to obtain right of people were just fuck right away and get them out of your system you could like europe
why i don't know therefore liberal but yet again don't see when you go to europe you don't see the shit we have here a fuckin sex advertising entities on a billboard because it's not built up to be big deal such such what's the word back in the holy grail we'll just to see activities so they don't it did and have the leverage over there that it does it's like member we both grew up in massachusetts and a lot of catholics and massachusetts catholic school girls i mean it it's a joke to longstanding job wire catholic school girls horse we not why are they freaks asking why they freaks their francs because that's the lasting their parents want the last thing the parents want to control them the difficult teach ones can draw they make them more crazy outfits then also those outfits become hot you want to because there were those outfits miss
the most ironic chevalier leader catholic school girls and fuckin that that outfit schoolgirl that's the outfit and all the guys like watching for pond ayscue really yad watch a gesture the cheerleaders like yours from such a repressed sexual plays that just a girl that's vaguely skippy grown o o o death believe do you watch madman i'm fucking absolutely awesome i it's it's fantastic it really if you if you look at it it is a glorified soap opera but that era is it's so well done i'm not totally familiar with a show of only seem like little clips advertising from the nineteen forty user late fifties early sixties his why nobody each other's bread head on that's ridiculously hot yeah she's pretty hot she's so she got fat this year too big to do but she's got vs you getting wider in raising raising it became
some big to do where he added because people have pointed out she got fat and then there's the other how dare you say she's fat policies in one money like you wouldn't be happy to be with her that why why can't she get fat national sharing of bad she's just bulbs age is bad but that is only that is it scripture you decide its an insult that is its description totally drew indian you're indigenous it's a description you're fuckin tall your short you're bad i savage joke about mexicans there wasn't about mexicans but was about the roswell incident were the alien he's gotta remember that jacques was now i don't know
the joke for the job was you put roswell it's gonna be a mexican joke i'm already kind of getting a joke was that the government released they they had a press release to say they had a crash ufo an alien body since the early bodies is bullshit i did it is too the job better and then the next day they say the comments that we made a mistake or just blown and i say the aliens those are mexicans blown they were dragon some shenanigans took place i said that one day the chemist or and this chick yoda like this rising mexican as a mexican gets a bellicose anything wrong with mexicans i've never antonio race joke in my entire life but any raised so to think that
dude about mexicans but just then i said max ago it was like she had a right to stand up hands on hips long males stretched out like she found a fuckin she found an opening i stop start my show and address the issue is something you you're not simple to say brian once got madame unite this brand brown frazier writer there's something here and i say to you down and he's jewish and he was super for sensitive and get really madame it was right i mean it's kind of a racist statement but but but you didn't battalion and if you said look at this fuckin dopey guinea you know
gold chain and this stupid slicked air outside laughin it's not me ok it's it's what you act like a guinea in oh if i if i had a chain obviously what are we actually guinea i wouldn't be upset but do you down some trade you down rights are particularly insulting sort of demeaning expression about you people and he got that their head they try like a margaret fifty there look at frugal now fiscally responsible at its self imposed of i'm gonna be he got so mad once this fuckin guy this prime was he's a really funny guy great comic but a really high strung guy and dumb i'm doing cometh ages right now wherein we gotta get together and from hans and by the way a bodybuilder at the time and all natural but enormous like true positive you don't have to do steroids to get big cuz i know this guy never did anything who's eating like broccoli and never even took vitamin but he just wasn't upset and a giant muscles to the point tell him like you can go on stage teacher he wants
routine out you scare the forgotten people you don't look funny you know i don't need a wearing a suit or along a bag you sure that covers europe europe intimidating i can't look anything but you won't stage these giant muscles so we did this gig together on the road and he had a throw a sore throat and it was apologising for the sore throat is i am sorry to say that to the guy who when the club and does he i'm sorry i was a bit sick with guys please we're hilarious he killed it was good you guys we're awesome and i'm sorry i just really i wish i could have done it better he was really just a nice guy and the guy goes ridge actual you're what are you jewish he says brian had a crew cut any as blonde hair yes she's jewish spoken name is brian frazier embrasures a jewish name like you wouldn't even put that together more than you think joe free raises a jewish names in german
no idea wouldn't i wouldn't see frazier and now it c4 asia heap i think frazier german name no no i don't know decades mountain liebowitz it's not obvious but mainly the guy look he's blonde he's blonde and he does not look jewish and he's a bodybuilder he looks like he looks like do you pulled out of a farm in iowa unease rate of fuckin kick your ass and they re big sister doesn't he looks like but he's a nice guy broccoli here's what you say exact you can't say as so he goes fucking not anything talk it's verges clap fucking asshole i am chow ash and he's red in the face of this guy can't realise that he's tongue he's being serious fight the first couple seconds mike
fuck what am i gonna do here i'm like one we're gonna fight my friend to keep him from killing this asshole who am i come here in vermont i'm thinking i'm gonna go to jail but i do so and brightest pig giant tree trunk neck actualize any serious and the guy has to realise that serious and brains like leaning over the desk like screaming the guy's face am i so what happened have talking down nothing happens finance economically story of course is just choose upset about being called jewish but with the indian that jewish why he was jewish people complain complain alot are never going to really do anything will you why are you right why you have such a sense of guilt jewish i'm sorry i got that from every fuckin jewish comic i've ever heard that why i say that i'm sorry there there's
guilt gone on the jew world again if you are issue fear is the best story being your army was raised like like really strict or the jewish and he had to read the tom would like ten hours a day he lived in israel like heated the whole deal and he said the date him that masturbating when you masturbate your seed when it leaves a body goes into a demons womb and gives birth to handicap babies which is a true cheers did you fucking imaginatively that's that's what your mom was tellin you like oh my god i know this can't be real but i gotta go with it he's crazy i'm never going to figure out what i walk through the ball and apologizing to people in wheelchairs and when i was in great i went to catholic school and i can very remember very clearly thinking that i'm fucked because i know i dont know what life is all about but i know
these assholes don't either and they're the ones are gonna tell me they're the ones gonna tell me in fact i'm fuckers tell the truth and not right and i'm fox i remember that the thought of really remember it from being like sex at a terrible fuckin feeling for a kid think that did the people that are that are raising you a retarded no way one and a jerk off energy demons pussy and it's gonna make a retard baby real really you gonna fuckin video of this you know you just why you just saying this you just say no because it was written somewhere and you're gonna teach mean i'm five you fuck i always i was now those that was someone else's talking to i thought it was just tell him this it was stupid meeting i had with the lawyer guy but
what did stand hobbs lloyd up ladies and gentlemen i am lawyer that power don't get crazy the guy showed me tat he had a us autographed sheet of acid from timothy leary last good lawyer knows it when that's on your lawyers warm look i might go to jail to have what he's gonna jefferson i it's i'm sure it's not going to jail acid is you wanna jefferson you otherwise the value of grant with the with the artwork before you write the book you have to we five you're right as the court ordered another siphon off for five years every goes jail i fucking great choked it does so she the limitations eggs is thirty more months before i could do it really i'll tell ya thier wow awesome one of the fucking close things being friends with doug stand up get to job you bitch don't get to know shit where you haven't material that you can do for thirteen months you should know you should do that's how strong as this story how strong the store while this
itself is is strong but this is what i think we but there's one joke but the story itself i think this will have actually i'm actually doing the joke i just had to change it around a little bit you know would be cool though if you had a show where you organize a show of same phoenix denver whatever pick a city then told everybody online and fourteen thirteen months two weeks i'll be i do it on the fucking road if it were a dandy council subject was mother ok you know you don't know the mother know there's something you perhaps can be legally responsible for some all muslims yes it was a stallion talking right and i am talking about them about mother mothered we i had other on hand but that's why we needed here we had our moms on the demand show it was cool was really fun but
i realized tat my mom was now nearly crazies your mom your mouth where more fond am i was boring already your mom your mom's hilarious you your mommy review poor endued about mom reviews porn how it was the best bet that we did was so terrified at she moved to allay to be an actress than she did all these legs independent like arms for no money and stuff but when they came to working with me she didn't even want me there she was so nervous about me being there and me thinking she was bunny she was great she's droning your mama's hilarious and the whole idea just a beautiful things like you have this new vehicle for writing comedy right through your mom and your mom's through these catches fucking great really mean to the move would be honestly to just two only you know only right for your mom everything what now she tried to do stand up comedy and it was one of them terrifying awful that's when i met you i think she had been on stage at
the night i met you gotta doubling is doing it was called union it was next door to double awry right yeah you're right my brother had gone up to do open mike and it was so awful i was like the worst working comedy you ve ever seen everyone knows me and i think you are there remember it now it's one of those things we just he does how'd you where you see what we're doing at the time when it was with bulgaria and romania with this bar next dublin's it was i'd heard about em i'd heard about from my jody as we only radio duck stand up so funny motherfucker you gotta meet tat get good we everybody the alibi thank you us that's that's a choice it is one of us where it lay reeled ale joey arouse hollywood let's get a job i haven't seen for years i try to bring in there i gotta get his number i lost all for you know when i lost my phone what the fuck does stand up not only lose my fault i twisted my phone number accurately
well yeah i saw that somewhere transcendence doug benson documents was going to the figures for you have seen also carried my get no trimming get their fuck as once i sat at another as set out in the whole world or at least a hundred thousand people has its how many calls did you get my followed my phone i oh i would turn on and would have so many texts that the text will become an avatar advisory will new tax it would get to a certain point was like a hundred hundred fifty and two hundred and where the foliage of i shut off reboot and while black way would black anyone reboot beyond that i'm in my girlfriend was on my facebook in an accident least when on lines shows that your online to all your facebook peoples and fuckin chat things just start popping up sellers i a book it shut this off that set up like that they know ye descend to turn it on your ass she had it see accidently turned it
somehow i don't mind twitter and stuff like that but you can't let everybody let's like when we had the chat online with the the pot cast it was too much too much acts rising much freedom fuckin anonymous grants broken bottles out there s a lot of smashing keyboards lilith arc many of a man to man that's why it's gettin too with the mother thing would i used to be able to tell jokes yeah i'll take what definitely be able to talk about shit like that on the road tenure ago because they didn't have the fucking tube everyone with a cell phone what you do is you i won't tell those stories on stage because there's one are you little fucking rat fucks thinks out there that's gotta you too and then put it
whatever it is i fucked around on my girlfriend last night i would fuck around our girlfriends all the time and if it was a funny story i would tell it on stage the next night because they don't know my fucking girl right but now you can in pittsburgh does who's who with gonna tell but now yet ever fuckin show has some move can bitch that as the riot pointed this out and i've it saying it out stages bootlegging is not even difficult anymore emily special comes from when you actually had to have heavy equipment in your boots and it was very difficult to get now any we can do it so you're not fucking cool for a good book and deep of it yeah me you're you're everyone's equipped for every phone you buy has the ability to record we set for mine i have we i have one that the biggest piece of shit i can't even really text on it because i can't figure out how to get
space inspects the haste of london has realised that does your remark in nineteen o guys why are you why are you trying to avoid the future well because i don't joy i dont like talking on the phone it's your fuckin vis is a space right here in the lower right hand corner of the lower yosemite under case like you long stretched double why'd you that's a service devil were left for him a doubt one of the first videos i ever films ever was going to a higher universe parents weaken and dug it was ed helms dog and did firm chapelle show the real world christian finnegan here is something it and so that they think it's at the average there's a clean they accidentally put another family friendly events for parents weekend parents with their coming freshmen children could be it
almost awry i filmed it from the back with the hideous camera than ever and is the worst video quality ever you could see people standing up screaming adam indulges went harder and harder is like to abortion in parents as crimes like six hundred walk out yeah yeah it's amazing its awesome i did a show and i miss those days are gathering having audience that knows what they therefore you miss out on all of us old school fund that he will be met i did a college and oliver michigan and there was the same situation where they were told that i was clean somehow another barricades private on that cars the booking agent i get there i i go onstage it's i'm standing on two cafeteria tables in in a in a high school cafeteria that's where the tiny little tinny speakers and it's a football college they're all football players
for good right when i get on stage is yelling fag fergie fucking faggot and so to start lightened dudes up left and right and when i do this guy come up to the coroner stage and the alerts me unless you not allowed to swear in the show is no swearing i'm staying here these guys you scream faggot abstained two tables and of your pretending that these are real rules the of a structure this special words and are not allowed we your shitty i can set up in this ridiculous so i too the chronicle this motherfucker you see this growing here he just tell me what you guys you guys are released eighteen right you're old enough to die for your country this guy doesn't think you should be allowed to hear swears carefully the shit this mother you're right here told me that i can see where you believe this shit and they start crazy ago that's that's fucking
to the ground starts whirlwind chairs and shit crazier screaming and i'm laughing and a joke europe's don't birds the girl so the guy goes say whatever you always gave too by the way see my adding a disguise always make nevertheless exists videos say whatever you want topic sequences later as we said that they would have you want like eminently what the fuck do size you get paid jago pain he had to pay me didn't i really didn't really get pigs as the days of new york entertainment were buried but would bury cat still ass he would put these colleges and you would get a czech ended the czech would be to new york entertainment you would give it a new york entertainment and then they would cut you a check supposedly theoretically obey expenses got a lotta hand so we started spending people's checks and was a big anybody by well i had done a college gig in tampa and then i bang the girl
booked it so i went back for whatever reason i don't know of is in the same trip but anyway island lies she had booked it was bad backstage and there was a darrell hammond thinking brewer it was three guys from saturday night lived and when they get off so age there like so where do we go to get paid and she goes oh berry said the just send i sent the check to him and they all and when you fucking gave it a very cats fucker now we're never gonna see our money this is our late middle nineties very cats was one of the producers on the first last comic standing i it is not involved in an obvious may think he is maybe as asia has failed managing their dead dank i think maybe it was the first one
where was me i was one of the judges martinique and buddy that's right i forgot about it madame because they call aunt out on stealing and was like stealing shit from movies lines from the movie boiler room about manhattan some guy comes up the gay guy ngos a dish put people on an island because they did common hat and it's funny i have the your pilot of the last comic standing there had you and you have i have a copy of the rise and not on you kid is on you to have it somewhere on youtube you giovanni house islands in the serious political life i looked high and low or j more you i did the presentation pilot fur blast comic standing at present asian pilot is what they feel to show the network what the show would look like if in order to get picked up so i lived in a house for three days with fire
there are five comics total and we were really comics john have friend was the only one that you'd know what is it alex stuart is both a black comic him and it was really facility somethin i can't remember name and then some other check the date some comic so the only one that made it through to the half run one the second year second year yeah yeah added after the first year cause they were they were acting like well if this gets picked up you'll be that's why my manager talk me into doing it did it was less money to do that cantation pilot than to be on the road but my my did you say well you know if it gets picked up it's already a presentation and then what and in the house gone if this gets picked up how are we gonna is act
we don't know each other all coming into our house to live together i got i don't think we're gonna beyond it if it gets j more cocky little conjure nor norton was on the first season was anybody delaying leave halfway through because i like to pretend comic said i i no cause i left bisbee era to live at bisbee arizona i don't know what's going on in comedy so because i dont know what they're doing i just assume their washed up and i'll find out other readers though i don't watch the network is out of book in tv tunisia that that guy's washed up buck theirs if you guys you route route of crash does a certain few when you find the not doing so good your fucking prick but to know it affects them i know you're not a boss comic now not at all grew up and it was
and was to tell us about issues as soon as i am old enough to leave you are lost and comic whether you like it or not there is a reason why there is so many fucking funny guy from that shitty part of the country has not yet which is why the weather shitty the guys i think everything about one not everything obvious hyperbole i did not the girls when i still i moved ella did not capable of being nice fuckin damage shit where an elderly man any brought us a bit his girl met this girl in boston it was just a fuckin hale mary sacrificed to the morning move way back in the day many many decades ago anyway she is while while he's like making our their pulls dug out whatever goes she does he can it
ah yes fans solid girls and boys limited i think you're gonna tell you ran out that's what i remember growing up i remember the only time i ever got to fuck with the girls were show sloppy drunk and belligerent that it was like we have to argue before we got the farc and then when we did it was over i gotta go home get me the fuck away from this u benefit com you can call me still like the cold weather is it the fuckin savages that lived there the came over on boats from ireland one of my first real girlfriends when i was six sixteen seventeen i've kept in touch her there remotely here and again and i remember and had to be a my thirty's gone back can i see i call in really we will have a drink
hey look really good and she goes out she goes yeah well maybe if you hadn't fuck sherry months and will still be some ten years all that's hilarious so fucking funny but they do they hold onto that shit forever the that's a fucking gonna jeffrey card it's one of those few pat myself on the back time in my view is is is just tearing myself to most of the people we grew up with and knowing that one night in my life would be something they wouldn't remember that would be like the fuckin biggest i don't remember doing i've done television shows that don't remember way that you are on my show and i might add
familiar if they were on the news once in the background they'd have still photo of it somewhere there fuckin grubby organ fox ro framing examine pluck and ruby rude the auto more that's true but there is a feeling that i get when i go back to their programme when i go to framingham i gonna need in our midst it when i drive through newton there's a feeling i get i escaped and away from you fuck you ve got your trapped here i feel like an iron but i have to it's one of my favorite places to perform their food can crazy in boston they don't give a shit why they want of where the shit no one under the real shit they had the best com what went when i was coming up in the nineteen eighties boston had the best local headliners in the country they were better we ve talked
some are so many times that we talk but one day was i we talked about it when a bunch if wrong there the best comics in the country there are lower headliners die gavin was the best comic in the country at one point i but no one knew it he was the best but the wash guys and hbo i got to watch guys when they came in town did live shows and i got to see don gavin unlike he's the best he's the best is doing we can clean and is washing destroy the point where i feel like i'm gonna quit my fuckin fraud when i do and i'll never be like this and we got we had we were forced us to see that like early on in boston a very strange when it comes to kameniev gets its spoken insisted this has a pond working appalachian mountains mouth poverty the allah welcome around here of looking down a red is with we dont send none out we don't accept none in
there's something about those two fun place is because the fact that its so called there and some fuckin miserable for five months how the five months other year what the fuck are we do in living here when you would walk from your car to your house we shut your car door and world your fucking have teeth growing and you turn your house you fuck fuck fuck you shut i understand there for a couple settlers summers your in full a mosquito toledo's gazeta does one day and fourteen october where you kicked through some golden parking dead leaves and it's a perfect crispin you go god i see i love the changes ease of going you love that back in one day and that's the only one you know it isn't there were other nice ones you at work sitting me so true so true there's nothing worse than working a shit
in cold weather terrible i did have to get up early work a shit did construction many many years my dad was an architect so like throughout high school when i wanted summer jobs i got jobs and construction sites but every now and then i would do something in the winter and you know why i graduated i did a lot of shit in the winter eat go to these fuckin houses there framing a building look somewhat their house built in january they dont say no did you write the house in january and you weren't like seventeen layers of pajamas under your fuckin pants we can't move look you're a space suit your hand nails it's fucking zero out there i never did the worst it was beautiful was the best thing i ever did smile thing but i ever did when i was in high school right when i graduated high school the very year me jimmy lawless jimmy got me a job and this construction site and jim is like a carpenters apprentice job as a laborer and i carried cement bags pressure treated lumber for two weeks that's all i did for two
a carried cement bags treated lumber we're building a wheelchair ramp at knights of columbus hall to need a wheelchair ramp cuz i'm new laws and all i did was that all day and i did nothing i had nothing left at the end of the day i couldn't work out i couldn't i just couldn't work out can one sees it has not even in my lord i was only like that something that you want to do after i was do than eating those back when i was fighting those eighteen years all those fighting in tournaments i had it the train on how to work out a force myself to work out and that taught me what real work at i was gonna say if you can't were isn't that a work out can't work out not enough you in your duty kick you in the face you gotta do others yet i'm actually get in there their dues trend kicking the facing at the time down you have to let stay sharp you can't just so
we need to work out i'm carrying bags cement ranging ok i was i hear work out i picture lifting awaits with fuckin sweat bans on leg warmer but i learn i learned fuck fuck hard work for no reason yeah it's with this money in it and there is a reason you know you you're doing it so we can get that some people are predisposed to that again i know that other people that do that don't look at it like the hell it's the same speed luke come up to you and say that's the scariest thing in the world what you do but i found it in april i couldn't get up on that stage in front of people work
size carrying all gets not scary to me or i wouldn't be doing bullets get it's your job is scary to me back and selling shoes for thirty years and not at all only to have the place working go out of business sewing crocs and a key ask what you do i'm the guy in the mall cellular be dazzled iphone covers that's pretty good roaming about sixty grand i m doing good teeth did you is to sell meat or is that the policy the power of what are you sold me do one of our main power the same group angry guys from basel iii as in white guy my age from boston apollo is one of the guys i got a chance to see when i was coming up when i was an open micro he had a few years and whose like to three years and whose already really good he's one of the guys but i would seem a carolines i guess maybe two years ago i go fuck is this guy not jake how is this guy not selling out arenas
but he was that i was after katrina and here he said because a lot more people have been rescued if it wasn't for the fucking misspellings it is this roof guy was turning and rescued offers roofs and help on it you want some help trick that fuckin want in putting the bag fuckin how ling howling lemonade airlines my how is this not a rina i mean i've noticed guy for two decades how is easy housing not one of the most famous can is accessible is not just comic is accessible he's got tat angry boston thing man workin nothin funny to me i had already made some duets problem it's probably his fucking personality that people have to realise that this is like a fucking thing ago angry you know what fuck man live your life that can hey that's really bad way so now it's not real hate several hates find exactly it's it's
but i really want line appetite to qualify his personality you have to understand this industry is run by people and most of them are in phony and they know their fraudulent and so a personality like nix is probably very scary to the people who would put him in an arena yes and so i think it would it's probably his personality is the reason because people are that are afraid that they're gonna be found out is completely didn't want go like that around they don't wanna fuck and men walking mirror nickel my brother and whose radio yeah he hammond brian cowen and epstein from walk about caught her brother episode lose radio where we just beat the fuck out of each other like people you know like we're through
someone can we cut to a clip of that because i have to piss desperate just on pesticides and i think that's why why why why we while wild duck goes to pee brian demeter before ip pull up bobby barnett pull up doug's bit about bobby barnett because one fuckin favorite all time bits is your bit about are we bought it you see the that's what i wanted and she she apparently now this woman from this bitter can play is a boy if you gotta doug stand up dot com i'm sure your archives and they are or the stories fuckin brilliant the bit is fantastic it's from keep are gonna take the edge off then take the edge off which is my favorite all time city of yours not because new materials the basque is its they're all pre in my opinion there are equal there are great but i love them behind it man i mean our thou my favorite seedy to listen to you on this
d you took on this sort of like musical quality to your ear delivery to like in sync with them with with the guitar henry phillips and i used to do that in l a just war stories where they yelled at any time i was a full story i'd try to have him play may i go little jobs around and here he was play he was in houston when i recorded that and i had recorded every night and was unhappy with any of em and it's sunday and is only about sixty people and i want you not why don't we just try it with the entire set not just the stories i he had played with the blame to bobby never before in the the transvestite hooker whatever he played the few story storytelling so i just it was last minute let's just spirit the set feels like that too it feels like a set where you had already got enough sets in the bag where you could be comfortable you know when you require
something more yet didn't give a fire like other people from fulfilment somethin when my film inefficient especial there's an eight and ten gotta turn delta finally i want to be like when i get this bit of yet our bit to believe this all technical but once ten minutes i'll be fine anyway don't worry about of eight if you get a babysitter adrian wanting to make it'll be free pretty close by i say the word a slight yeah there's a looseness in when you know you already have it in the bag we can just go to like tomorrow automate someplace called more at ease in indianapolis their zeal pressure when you before embodies it's not a budget item eight shut adopted wait till we do but yeah i'm out when you when you film on somethin man it's it's a weird is a weird pressure thing we know i do want to make sure i get this right only got one shot i would never want to do a bill hicks relentless even said that he wasn't comfortable and then if you watch it is like it's got great material in it but it certainly not his best performance and delivery because he did
one shot it was one one hour to have performance ready go the cameras or on you wait a film is forever fuck its attacks loosened up and the crowd is tight causes as they know showtime special its film to that guy some comedy club which is a tiny club anyway and now it's lit with fucking giant rains coming over someone's programme com low that place though i love their place my i've never played there except for that when i filmed the seventy ohio and i did talking monkeys in space the guy who is the director of it is a good friend of mine anthony giordano he's either directly you have seas and directs although you have sea like little satellite programmes and i he listened to me i said i don't want lighten the audience i want it like a regular show your regular show we capture and camera even then it's hard the first one was like i was a little stiff i felt loose like if i have both
here to watch you let's go to watch comedy why like i was telling him on the way up to cause i'm afraid after fucking this long doing comedy i they're not gonna have i heard this before i heard the somewhere else i've told you i myself stealing my own material where i go fuck it's just funny but it just seems so familiar fuck it i'll do it anyway and then i like and in an old note book go fuck you knew i wrote this is to do that exactly sellers yeah well i like what i will do watch comedy at home make sure i'm sober i won't go to report though i wouldn't dare like ideas will get in your hand gathering area or is it my friend mccarthy did that once a friend my back in boston he wouldn't want to sleep with dennis miller she be they woke up with eyes jack's up away
anytime you sleep with a tv of you you know your dreams will become infused with whatever is what to bed at fucking sport centre on a sudden i'm being fisted by a linebacker that other quite so you know i'm scared of watching comedy i die i still enjoy the fuck out of it i want the reason why i got into comedies because i was a frantic harmony i was gonna go see you and irvine last night but i was just too lazy ass i couldn't make that did the drive from a later irvine like five pm is death now is well known fuckin shoes notification its death but i still believe someone like us our louis uk recently improv i get it i get inspired by comedy if i see something really funny pardon makes me want to write mason
go home while that of the other things is on tv it's never is good anyway sir i says not hard to go i'm not gonna watch this special because it's a special and especial suck but when i'm hoping that eventually everything will be accessible all the time there will be no tv and no sets will be special because everyone will see every set ever see everyone will see everything that you do ever over and over and over that is going to the next the next level of technology is not going to be you know something ample as here's a newer faster phone it's gonna be some super invasive thing where you're allowed to turn on your always on cam and people just travel with you everywhere you go and people can watch every fucking thing you do and there's gonna be like some really popular channels or people subscriptions zero privacy zero homes that on total of area but there'll be no need for known
because no one has anything to high right why we why we have privacy now mean you and i really don't you know people who are in the public eye would talk a lot about their life on stage you have a fraction of the privacy that irregularly short of wiping my ass i m really fuckin idle would you have a good situation or any any fucked up situation ottoman good i mean anything words juicy words as others story don't you get it i did like you or are you just got a new puppy look at that when my fuckin dad died i was conscious of the fact that huge part of me was thinking i'm gonna get a lot of attention for this what do you do it that like you aware of that part of you that see right you're right well you know other people do it you know they fuckin milk in tragedy for attention on some level well you and i can't i can't talk
now some really bad happened you go you are right but you know i'm or at least aware of the fact that i enjoy the to get excited when governments had said go wrong cat or dog at it by car some cotonou we're gonna fuck you going to feel bad about it gives the makes you know what can begin now regard speak in a fucking eyes girl they bobby barnett address here because this is a way this is one of my favorite all times can calmly bits what i wanna dogs classics bobby barnett check it out listen doug will be right back in the meantime it just died brian something to take the edge off patients
i see a beautiful girl beautiful if you like a flash before your eyes you have to stop that party leader binding car i get in your hand rolled up gorgeous had short brown hair and big brown eyes to look at i met her in this state our minneapolis and when i say strange bar i mean i didn't know anyone there and normally i would never have the balls to approach a girl in a bar then i dont know people like me strange far is goes aren't are all alone
sports sector like the only reason i'm in a crowded dance club on ladies night is delights volume of some real sad that i don't know i was toxic added something this was talks stories i played right in your hand whenever she said i setting sadly what she wanted to hear she aided long hair i was thinking that continent cigarettes as china glenn was she said tomorrow twins the red sox my team the red sox because while we go to the site my house right now the state not for us just an inconvenience
do what i tell a girl s china sexually why should we add one more drink it arouse than that lending case in which led to grind led to some of the most vicious drawing up an icy eyes worn out with those on anyone but i've got to a point where i realize it's not gonna go any further than this because every time i try to close the deal i can't i'm not a slide well i am and i'll show you why i don't even know you will have my agent thanks my eyes and start here only i gave up like a gentleman i rolled over curled up warm sun testing ban we got whence came towards a plan
that's access or three if you look at the statistics prove this story is true ass all in this house have already passed and blue bald arrest span up and down the bleachers ran news and you know this sorry got loose five to want bobby stories target shit so on china collar plus i say listen red sox lose this game quits i'll get my hair tonight rents ask him maybe when you turned loose pussy someone that old policy setting
implementing stolen from she's not to move a little busy something instead in cities soon she said i came to lay some scored a lesson on sex bobby barnett sat the bleachers and gray driving me all silently turned our and i said so did they as an ass all the by turkey up on the bed she said now
so what do you think it s all about i picked him a homeless guy i told you i wanted to donate lie winnings dexterity shaded hobby barnett made you know when i was she d like the person i was never talk to her again i welcome that the thing is generally beautiful things i was me feel gonna empty beautiful sunsets beautiful mountain tops you can take it pictures in the world have doesn't justice use
we weren't in your vocabulary to describe it never comes this had to be there watch that beautiful top there's always a guy next ego goes doesn't it make you feel insignificant does feel any more innocent i feel very insignificant every day i get that i go to my home town borrower france now my name and i'd feel significant i don't eat anything less what a beautiful woman is different livestock beautiful woman thanks you inside she's giving you part of that beauty incisive giving you part of soul that is yours ever does in ever go away you
one major problems in a say you're beautiful sunset might never arise again by you thought we lobbied by drugs can remember anything but nobody shut your suit but no new thing your gadget the kids what get high there just scrambling back to the microphones now and lay doesn't generalised talking with the joe rogan and too bull from entourage discussing comedy booger camp oh yeah comedy fuckin boot care my name's chris
other folks and if you gotta doug sign up stand up that come doug stand hoped outcome as one archive back one archived act is a story about comedy boot camp there's been a new trend in the common community as late as it calmly bouquet that comes out of this the i'm not even sure their website but they have common training classes and you decide it strongly premise and writers yeah no i i guess it as a community comics all agree they classes are bull shit unless they have to go teach i go well no it's not all bullshit right it yet so yeah there's this guy kyle cease started of pretty core item evelyn he got louie andersson on the on the ticket as kyle and louis travel yeah they go the town the weather
hagen improper they'll get eighty percent of the door and and teach these comedy you'll have to really read that in thing so the comics get on stage so let's let me illustrate so do this calmly class and they go round the world around the country rather say of the shop improvin yeah floor well it's a comedy all day intensive one day toper aid that the fuckin fort lauderdale funny get so there's a hundred people in the class and they have to pay how much money between four hundred and three thousand dollars depending on which course the one day course is only four hundred bucks three day intensive masters stand up three thousand but either way it's all fuckin nonsense and i did this i've got an email from the guy let's just assume you ve read the fuckin thing if not
do i gotta die and calm and yeah position because it wait you much to get out of here in your car shit just see gonna have to do the math yeah if they are not harm if you don't want to hear all the fucking discourse anyway rights really it's an inside kind of thing but the fact that it scumbag we to tell so when you oh yeah i can make you a fuckin master stand up and fucking three short days for money they really call a master stand up mastery is the three thousand dollar course strong we're yeah yeah mastery you're gonna be a man stir takes ten years i mean barely think i know what i'm doing now twenty years and you know good idolizing declining if i had a fuckin time machine i definitely recommend you going back in time any earlier than ten years into my camp accommodate camera i can recommend any shows pre
one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine dot co on your own do you want to go see it just for fucking a point of reference to realize that someone can suck really hard and come back from that truck right but recommend though shows so it's so yeah you read the fact so you don't you don't think that there is any way that there's the benefit of having some sort of a class to teach people stand you can t if you can get all that advice for free that was my major be anything they will teach you in a class any comic is glad to tell you for free or at the very heart of raw yet oranges get a job at the hang out at the old school way to do it i agree that is the old school but you're still not gonna learn until you do it yes and i know what is it you how to be like you arc has comics i like actors we're not all go in for the same part we have to be different to take advice europe
telling someone how to be more like you joe and i did attack kyle cease brutally because that's my the fashion of by comedy where i'm saying that his family should die like the had only us is always has to give a little flayed the update as really mean that i don't want your family did die kyle seas but i think you're doing is negligent irresponsible and disarm right but you you get so upset about it because it's i mean in terms of like negligent irresponsible shit that the rest of the world sees its really fairly mild oh you just get upset about this one particular subject because it something what love because of its something that i know what it is something i can make a difference where i can yell about fucking government invasion of civil liberties all day and it's not going to do
dicks where the difference but i could say kyle seizes the fuckin fraud and it might save you between four hundred and three that well you know maybe it's not a bad idea to get both maybe not a bad idea for someone to go to one of these colleague boot camps and you know just get turn out like when i didn't know if i was gonna do comedy and i've been talked in doing it by some friends of mine i went to an open might nine i didn't know shit that open night five thousand dollars you know we could have been in some comedy boot campbell fuck it going to try it out again owners nineteen twenty year old kids or their young and they have no experience in such a bad thing get somehow another introduced to it and then once you get introduced to you immerse yourself instead of comedy start listening to a bunch of it watching too much youtube clip then you read your story about it and listen to you talk about it you got okay this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about he just knows what the fuck you talking about for him right exactly and i'll give you this that it might act
as a catalyst to make you become they too have always thought about emu in some momentum yeah and so you know now it's like hypnotism too stop smoking it doesn't fucking work you're not hypnotize but the fact that you just laid out two hundred and fifty dollars ties with thirty minutes might make you not smoke just cause you dont want to feel like a douche bag so if it has that effect but what you are doing is you're you're gliding the market he talks about how get all these comics motivated now and their working together in these communities and they having writers clubs together you what you're doing your ears everyone's in lee funny which is so leon untrue you're doing is giving them perseverance to keep fuckin bothering book isn't bothering promoters and clogging open like nights with shitty comedy because you told them don't quit keep chow and i even though you're not fucking funny it what's so
but out of those that you're you're speaking to the worst case scenarios if there's a hundred people take its course there might be or to that snakes through the fuckin salmon ladder they would actually really what anyway they might everywhere by right they might anyway and they might in spite of but he might have introduced him to the game he might have gotten them inspired learnt a lot of girls are important because they get raped i see when i was starting out there's a guy i don't to say his name cuz he's a nice guy he just sucks at the he he he was hosting open mic night became out to me and he was like listen to tell you right now okay come on you gotta stop swear you're always where you you you swear when you dont have a punch line is swear to make it funnier and unlike boat the guys who i liked were really funny like sam kennedy nice guy you're not dies time ok not display tell me about this one choky had i can't say the joke as everybody in boston whenever the fuck i'm talking about an hour guys is like
sucks i don't want to shit on him but the idea was that he took this word fuck out of one of his jokes and it made it here and focus more on the timing and i always like this jokes successes of luck and you told me how do you you do when i'm even think you're good people will try to get you to follow their pattern you can't do there's no way you can get you can tell someone do kommeni but why hang on that i'm gonna eighty eight because we're talking specifically about kyle seas i don't know anything about let's just say i do this i know what i've seen the clips of this its thing anthony robin this fucker believe in yourself find your inner voice they don't and that's the thing you fuckin comedy what's the guy at my face at montreal the fucking industry guys step up your stand up the guy like he's wearing of fate glass
the nose and money that's jeff singer i don't know that jeff singer east i get some industry guy and he my face because i mentioned him and the other day go i don't do what he dies he's like the giant face he was saying that kyle seizes shit you don't understand i'm not lying kim why would you put the right debt about me yes an awful night at the working there the borrower at whatever dealt in montreal is not the door where they moved hotels but it's the same sees ain't drunk it gets a park you like hey i just don't agree with point is kyle's i we don't tell people how to write joe she can't teach that plainly what we do is we motivate them and make them believe and find their own voice yours they are full of shit they definitely and i want to address this because one of the beasts that i'm a few beef that i've gotten from it
why did you attack him and not louie understand why which has had little guy scared scared that's the thing is and i sat there why first of all i was talking to how to get my manager targets so goes well louis anderson wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for kyle see kyle he's back in the hague the guy and louis anderson is such get such a feeble guy you don't ever look at him as if someone you have to take down kyle seizes the one promoting this working hokey the sea it flemed cows easily improv you seem like a nice guy that's literally on no need semi emails and he's fucking in tears you're what am i euros this aim fuckin wash in on me osity occupy archives jimmy door every comic they use
came up was one of your favorites as well as the eyes what does he do it's one is how now look i can't faulty guy for not being down this there's a lot of things he says that i think you fuckin but in fact the mud already of what he says i think is good advice i don't think it's bound to get more people interested in doing stand out because i think just which sheer numbers mean there's gonna be a bunch that suck but there also be more but they're using it as a scandal be that's the problem like i just i don't see the point but i don't think you need to be compensated if you gonna spend three fuckin days talking to some open makers and it's gonna have to be some along cash son by white hairs raising box this is because it is this really solidified the fact that this guy is a fact colleagues emails managed breaking down how he losing money and it gives me actual numbers where he says we average thirty thirty people per class and if
the un and its four hundred dollars time stirred that's twelve thousand dollars any says and world and most that goes to air fare hotel etc wait hang on you and louis anderson teach ass you may twelfth i thousand dollars in a day you're losing money you of all people should not be teaching anything how many hotel rooms do you get for you and look hand hearing twelve thousand dollars a day what the etc air fare that's about eight hundred bucks for the two year hotel ice place that's right down goddamn fascinating reality show feel free to steal this idea because i'm lazy and i won't produce it but comedy can
dot com travelling doing some sort of like grisly man you're much good words unintentionally funny guy werner herzog had another guy was hilarious he had to know what he's pulling together can be hilarious he could admit it but he had no there could be more than most beautiful beautiful poland brothers ask reality shows ever louie anderson and policies of the road teaching this fucking company glass meeting with these wheezy open makers all over the country can crazy no he's actually kind of getting into a scam i don't know if there's no money into it or not because i've been doing it lately and i'm watching these little open my curs get attacked but like sales like tv salesman type ways like hey here's the deal so i run this show at the comedy store belly room all right give me one hundred dollars i'll give you a twenty tickets to give to all your friends that you can charge your friends or whatever
you say you gonna make money where maybe five minutes and i'm watching this you know that's how they do just so they pay fighters and like low level organizations ravens tickets right rate but but the problem is that a belly room is free to get in so these tickets make no sense at all rhino and so in this girl she's always free development really lost part but here's used indiscriminately been a comedy six months the guy that even came up turns it hey he had a great said tonight i was watching his ducas like my other friend jordan said the same thing happen him last time he just praying and he's he was watching her he came up there and did this whole sales pitch and like like an echo the units twenty tickets and stuff like that and i feel bad for that but i also feel that that's kind of funny causes us it's kind of the fucking imaginatively i thing less end zero johan artistry and that might be why i get upset at something self buck and simple as of stand up comedy class which really has on the fucking grand scale makes difference riotous but i think
god is the most undervalued art form artistry is cut its called on art for a reason it's fuckin art if it's done well there's nothing more beautiful than here in about a very inventive gambling rift in common preying on like these little kids i act when he has again of comic may have a way to meet a man you were one of those one point time and i was one of those who employ time when i was twenty one years old you could have easily talk me into doing some fucking colony course otis but my money i don't have any acting course i goes completely ripped off they deem had a bad acting teacher who though an while you learn programme they gonna get you gigs while they fucking you pay them to go weekly but william get at your work and get yards casting agents they did own models to write so how is a classic took train to allay as soon as a forty bucks in my pocket i get off the train at union station and i'm gonna be an actor
about one thousand boss in every girl modeling photo number one girls what used to go to modeling casablanca yeah they would take a photo the girl it out like this like her hair blown in the land and will say that i was illegal everything they had spent all this money was basically a huge scam where they would just give these girls spent fucker romani on getting their photos taken then photos take with this guy's logo at the bottom of it they would send it out nothing whatever happened but it was like grossly cab and doing some modeling everything else and we shall have a mile ever did was models crazy crazy bitches that you're gonna tell your friends tired i can't even xavier earlier than the acts that everyone rank she was drunk and i was just trying to avoid her friend avoid our external border and she goes to me
think you're off the fact my face with this fucking thing in the figures movement he think back there like the girls get sloppy drunk every week and those are friends they know what the fuck they're doing is fuckin just milky although police yin and shave pussies wiring worth authority assholes the blue fade city black corkins shears argues that may give feats wetness symbolic shit to top belly hair you think you're the fact there
blue eye saddle thrown up and down i think i do we can't get nets you fucking years now i mean you ass my god can you imagine that have an hour fire ran in the half the bound as a teenager now because they pigs then never see him now in our age all i went found my my original highschool girlfriend on facebook and i open up her things said send her a message and i went my fingers and i hovered over the keyboard and i want to apologize i want our policy for being me i want to apologize for being fourteen our apologize for the whole fuckin thing i mean here but you know this is this is the first one is the first one and i looked
fuck you this paper close the window like what we will do in forty three years all partners we built a douche bag with sixteen continue stupid of me you haven't fat sire i don't want you to fucking westernmost jews i went there wasn't over now and have you really fucked me you're mad at me i just had a joe what did i tell you how to do it as you know i write it down somebody wrote something i had this x chutney on facebook ones like hey i'd something very important to tell you like in unlike what what is it like now i need to talk to a person can do this over chat mrs from like twelve years some like that zone might think and our aid when it things are either have a child or i have aids where's you found jesus it's like one of the three thing i'm gonna we're facebook and i'm like right these kids look kind of retarded might be mine i don't know the kind of look eight that cute little asian whatever so he calls me up and she goes hey i just want you to know something that you remember that abortion you paid for in like yeah and she goes
need money for heroin i start doing heroin after we broke up and i really need money so i made it i said this whole thing that where i was pregnant and i
i thought you said you told me she said she was pregnant with another guy wasn't actually said she was pregnant with her new heroin friend guy but they spent so much money and hair when they need money and i give her like five hundred dollars it wasn't like regular like did you actually the money back hunt now with israel that high dialogue or seventeen fifty and suck bayonets tat day i d like to address a azure is least get an extra two and fifty bucks a blow job he knows it was created zone ireland hey she's aviators looking off on her tits wrought that's why i love my economic i feel like holes and shoot loads black alive i saw my comic books i for i saw my whole comic book collection to pay for this abortion ok will now she's a fuck hunt she's ruin your iron man collection in spite of what was your favorite comment that only get one has that story the i sold my comic books paper and that's your story wasn't even our boys for heroin
anyone who is dealing with anyone who needs an abortion or heroin should not have comic dogs issued in a minimal luck and survival kit like less drought gets it is sure to keep your water clean and a knife defend them off check this check this out and play adele re added working trade by baseball cards lifelike girlfriend a new liver i was in play adele ray i was after the bar clauses that that bar we're talking those like thirty people fitness bar and just like four locals only the rascal bore has been there since in nineteen hundred said it was after the bar were hanging out in all media under ten years now
these hundreds more than using the old lady this lady comes up to me and grabbed me by the sweatshirt she goes i see a necklace you wear that because it protects you mike what the faggot harmon i'm kind of doubt as is the story you know i would advise you before you are this is all ledger not really say it i gotta tell you i gotta tell you this is a person who is in the public guy who got a little factor but a little drunk and made some mistakes i'm just saying if you were in the same situation and you did the same situation too a person younger than i would never grabber person and let the nightly you you guess he was doing it listen we all get fucked up and we're not ourselves ok that's the reality the situation the right mix but a crystal mass little bit a jack daniels near it makes mistakes i won't say but nancy cartwright train i don't know without nancy cart rates the voices bart simpson and she tried to read me
tell that story i folks or is so hard to save his karma i should say this right now brian right now can you queue up prince i got a broken heart again to the south we talk with talk rising situations anymore you could just just look up prince i got a broken heart again ok you got your phone on november brian is a great is now is a good friend he's one of the most interesting people ever met my life to fuck you know someone hearing misogynist fuck you it's good stored for em it's a good story for him but he's right now as it was part z licence out of all neuro both play she words like eat my words i would eat or short ryan if brine was on top of the world like he was just a month ago just a month just a month ago we talk about how on top of the world you are you want me to use euphemisms lets you say this ok elicited pretend was just pretend
that sounds this on guard again how was this on prince out a broken heart again it's pretend there's theirs and there's a man and on the one to ten he's a three he says is a fuck witty three his initial three call me three i'm just make it up stories i can't make it so close to you than its realistic if i had a judge you honestly i save yellow lost twenty pounds you'd be in eight right now you're probably six and a half percent i remember is that it is an honour i wasn't near rome fad can be for us nearly this fat brian was a stud when he was i was on the fucking man show is what i was fighting tonya harding and i remembered fucking to him standing with juggy kathy was one of the most beautiful women in the world and he's like look it is fuckin body here so disgusting do let me look at it that was when i was way less disgusting so back in the day yeah yeah so let's be realistic ok
i want give you a give give your rating on six and a half seven if you just continue any current path losing weight ok that's realistic nothing more than an eight i was pretty much a nine when i was on news radio but i'm old and my shits fallen apart ok let's be honest now i got more attractive than the news radio they got some strong nine nine so on one of the strong nine yeah you're fuckin way never agree on the chicks israel you call a nine he showed me a picture and i go that's a fuckin real d all those and even snotty you're looking for something different we have different we ve always had differently iranians are what's funny for sure yeah i'm pretty sure we have with life yes m chicks it would think of wicked scams i think you're perfect type what would you like a girl canada i guess i like i like girls with unfortunate utters there's this girl's they just that there's a porn low
now read this not even those that there's no demonstrating how was she waited where like that for these guys on pay his girl this girl with some check that works at the piano don't fuckin she which works at the local car seat fuckin manufacturer working in the book she's an accountant but she has big tits and this crazy ass she has a fact which i and some are another you get together you can buy it that's what it means it's a product a product you now doesnt know there are many issues are each of you get her alone and the next thing you know you're fuckin beyond your bang it out you can you please crows let me fuck you while he had that situation there for a while back and forth little separation or break up this was ready that kind of frequency the kid was ready criticise prime i'm trying your wifi sucks does it really it doesnt work work too much joe aids it when you fuckin talk about is technical inept gadgetry unwilling we need to talk
are you my ear here wifi jos about of your eyes i find you here why don't you go there how i did data you don't you know the lark marin's podcast as fuckin wifi about modern seven esben dues but probably words to want to argue with em like martin he's a good dude buddies has dumb shit and i want to argue widow and that's why i want to argue with anybody i ain't got no time i know if you're not arguing it's a fucking low rated podcast now i will listen a task we recently disappeared arguing carlos men see i listened a mark marin and i didn't know you had done dig it's all listen to that and i listened to the funding
we're not china whose name is that had the kyle seesawed use look of a train racks exactly what do you want to find out i wanted a lesson here listen a fuckin two guys you agree breakdown like the pie preventing who i love that women there's the best podcast whoever not theirs best park as i've ever known we are almost completely in agreement everything except the level of demonic aptitude cow ceases as it is fuckin joe that's it i know i'm saying that that doesn't get fucking people i don't go to listen to that's ok i get along just you know your point of view i understand i must stress as i just saw him my my point of view is this one time i'm a grown man i don't wanna plainly stupid games are you with anybody who just don't just stop stop i don't i don't want to hear it i don't care thoroughly dissected my own personal thoughts and i don't want
deal with the mass that's in your head ok i don't want to have two fuckin sit down and go well careless backup where you come to this perception and why did this start out and maybe you didn't take into account how i fell on her the time you know you don't want your bits therein you didn't show and he had been c on and he had the cycle wrap up or he like gives his take and he said the incident was too bullies arguing over bullshit that's how i said it and i just said than done that's it you just saved me weird conversations for the rest of my life is not like i don't have to talk to you anymore i can wish you well i'm karma free very good good luck have fun air done done it's nice there's a lot of problems and where you can fix him all sometimes just now
let's go back brian bribes good friend m o brien online aren't makes is credible videos and about what you do man he told me goes i work for gateway dude you need to come work for me i don't even know what the fuck you gonna do but we're just gonna make some videos we're gonna make should happen we're gonna have some fun just come with me and the rebel films or shit man fuck that crazy job that job socks is that years ago ass wild so he comes becomes a new world man were travelling the corner comedy clubs tv shows gonna the world go i'll be in anthony bring new york k we're all over the place it's real columbus ohio in this girl is from venus perhaps may be perfect
perfect girl you prefer girl yes sir what what what the fuck with ever make you think that you would be able to fuck right right in real life absolutes like how does this happen how does anybody doesn't have a we channel tat song i rosati does anybody to get to fuck her there's certain girls in this world like any girl that's over nine like really any gun falconers like really because every god it's fuckin nine spock sixes and fives and please and able to talk to him any more but as a whole fuckin bobby barnett they never wrapped up cause you're outside smoking all the barbed wire net they let you go with bags like three for our conscious genius she finally found out some one of my fans from sweden actually tractor down whether new working married name and she that bit and it is a born again question now said to very upset emails so that's it doug stay
oh god which by the way made the bit twenty thousand times better it was beautiful and you're follow up was just fuckin spectacular i honestly think that you have to do that on stage what i think you should do play the original recording on stage for people who don't know for the new fans let them hear that and then tell the new store just do the new it's a fucking destroyer things like that would be pretty fuckin lazy go well first the out of his bed say tat you can sit or you will you can say it i don't mean that i mean i feel weird tell an old joe go i did you i won't do it when it was wholly or more we are to go i know it say that every just lay i do all this at a german question and answer after john like an hour or so i always do a question answer because this point time round about onstage but this is that in order to keep a real honest relationship with all these people to come and see me i don't think i should be doing when it gets a talk i would say that i was this is fills weird at the horse a comedy that other the whole art form is
get on stage and is a microphone there's a bunch of people to pay to hear you talk and it's ridiculous you're gonna be the ongoing talks for an hour and cocaine dream craig i get to get to do the coke and now it's my sentence for an hour and you don't get a chance so i always talk about and how i understand that this is a ridiculous relationship in order to compensate for the fact that it's ridiculous i do the best i can right the most should i do explore the most ideas i try to give you the most at the most hyped up for the show and your question answer was a yell out anything you want we'll talk about anything you want you know and that's that's like opportunity for people to taken they can yell shit they can talk about anything they want if i were if we want do i'm sorry that's what i do or this is does that would be a perfect time for all of us to fucking do if i knew other comics would do this i would do it
in q and a at the end of every shell for wanna be stand up comics again a device for fucking free that's all you should ever pay for comedy advice that's sad a year we were but you know what do you know it not be a bad idea if you said you know you have people signed up for an advance it couldn't be to so many wonder photograph no photos no autographs can wasting time but after every show they'll be one half hour q and a section set session we want to be sent me and so you have to be honest about the fact you wanna be comedian and if you are you allowed common there's a rome there's a hundred of us minister there you talk for half an hour you know what can wait outside for a half an hour after the show like fight club natalie really the dish bags and are just drunk you wanted fuckin say some stupid way on the porch like right cloud on our while if you really want to fuck him be a stand up will give you is that i have one crazy people my shoulder i take pictures with them afterwards i sit down for ten minutes take a league have a guy
water just let everybody does really fuckin frantic to go about their way the right you forget is all of me with the addition is because you sell march now i did a couple times i've sold the additive fuck and trade off i can either cell merge and have to fucking i've right into this right from stage and that the head full of and then right politician nice to meet you oh i'd love to fuck you take a picture with your wife rate from working are you all right i can not sell merge first of all march sales it's not just the money that you're making its the fact that you're getting your product out there i'm not i'm fuckin television your
people finding me because someone sent him a link to a cleaner way our zhao ok i disagree you're not off the grid ok you're on the internet man you're not absurd way this is this is there a website that i frequent overtime called makes martial arts dot com and it has nothing to do with you and there's a there's a section called the underground when they talk about emanate it is the other ground when they talk about anything else and they always have sections on comedians an ear comes up all the time and i understand that but i am saying that you that you have to feed yes yes i do i am at the same time a million people have said i never even heard he saw no offense man right i never heard it till my body low you are key yeah so there it's getting that out there so that's the other important thing about you urge you dont you don't you what about torrents or anything like that day you know you fuck about that should one
my shit on my camera nominal monitors computers unanimity bittorrent as we can download movies stealing now you know i'm all for stealing and this was not stealing will listen listen listen what's he evidently and you'll agree with me and this buck and very important i encourage you fucking downloading and sharing and burning files of all this shit that i've released but don't come to the show and you decide when i'm releasing my new city on your book and sell count care i agree that makes me i read it is annoying however i also think that if look as long as everybody else can just deal with the real hard core fans of resources videos can deal with the fact this material that's in its development it starts out here maybe you want to watch and develop and that's all cool too but dont go to shows and yellow punch lines and you know what they are recycler by you and bid is only a man thought that it's going through some metamorphosis like don't be a douche bag but its origin
a douche bag and come to a show i don't mind of you you know i don't mind all the i had actually that down for a reason because i hate looking at myself so what i see someone but let me stress that millionaires i grime worried about how i look i've taken me as alleges i would take you out of your day for europe can it seven eleven i just start filming hata no reason absolutely great it's really distract i was in its the ice ass a pass dena yelled at some lady but i was really mad but also qantas fucking sleepy alive fuckin live your life through a fucking u to club is ridiculous just just enjoy this moment you not to reorient here alive air three rose away from if i dont effect you enough that you can remember the shit that i said then it's not really worth it just enjoy those good feeling had while you were there and come see me again to see two fuckin lived through a goddamn whatever can i've said said the same thing i've i've said don't feel in so many buckin ways now yards that's all right you're blind people so i've had yeah
i've had a number of bids i have more bids about about stop filming me than overpopulation again honest i can't tell you stuff i can say that my girlfriend sister is if i my girlfriend sister was a fat can't you couldn't a bit about what does she was ass she was a bigger back garden did some really awful and i wanted in long alone and you have to talk about my fuckin nephews can of course no no little money violent he the moon alot lies but i could never do bits because he's kind of an idiot amount but he knows how to use computer there's some people in my life that are hanging onto a thread cause i'm thinkin about thrown down the river circular chuck it under the bus data like a closing bit on the there's a few people while i would think about how crazy the automatic mother fucker i just what are you gonna do closing act but you can't
well because it buck and herds when it comes her eg you want one to be upset people you know you can make fun of me all day but make it via the people man for people making someone make in front of you you know even know them for most people like for us it's like just like you dont google your name is even though some anonymous douche bag get mad at you somewhere ashore and i hate myself so much that's just a voice secondly what i already thought this is what i find that i'm sure you ve funds and way do you find yourself like hating yourself the most when you have to edit your shit when you have to let go of edit a dvd or some you watch of our genuine are we shut the fuck up now i right i can't stand a fuckin way i look peoples is now we're eagle maniacs or narcissist it's like when you when you're editing geared to a certain point you're comedy i think and you get to certain points really kind of appreciate what this is all about and is really not all about all this personal attention is really not all about you know
love and you it's really about like finding a way to tune and all these crazy ideas so that other people get enjoyment out of it and when hear yourself do it you he's off saying it's you what do you say you doing you're judge yourself you shut up up to now like doing comedy logic really though you do though you say you don't but you do i know you like your bullshit you wouldn't do what you don't want to do you like yours i'm always like you don't like you might not like eighty percent of it irish monument loathe going on these crush you love it you know no come on known as when you knock it out of the park when you really find a fuckin but when i know that really locks in people's heads and go gas fuck yeah but i've
i like everything that i've been passionate about i've beaten into the ground right i've i can't fucking do another overpopulation probably find him i can help you can't help you with all these things have you with us no i of zanu it out of the parties to me when he loses when i come up with something off the but my head when i actually riff and i get a couple of fucking aligns that's knock it i can have a shitty show but if i said some that amused me right up there was but that's fine it isn't that what i say write that down to some one in the fuckin adi erode that's when i know but those moments worth it all those moments worth our while you are the fucking rod and the bolt hits you out of the heavens and you get thought when you're onstage that you really never went down that avenue before but i'll send you go there and the audit it just destroys in your howling laughing at the thought that you didn't even you don't even know where the fuck it came from you can scarcely take photos i was just does someone that they apply
that you here before the show when they and now it's u doug stand up and you hear that buck and massive round of applause is nothing but in terror of expectations that i don't think i can meet i don't feel like that's love and i worked hard for that i feel like they want more than i have two that's one of these problems are you had with the calcium calmly coarse and you use a brilliant example where you're talking about david tell whose one of my favorite comedians in your favorite reason one of the most unique guys in my opinion they come along till records is set who still better but many were quarter and listens to his set after twenty some years comedy gets mad at himself he doesn't like his bed doesn't believe in them and he gets absurdity gets insecure me why he's brilliant now is the example that you used that you don't always have to be confident that's not true i sometimes you just do it to be ashamed of everything you say in a chamber very laugh you get
it is our foil a man or a lot of guys are only successful because themselves doesn't know formula for any delay in any of us do you know what you ve never which had barely funny that as soon they became successful die said another fuckin word a lot of how but a lot of them have a lot of forgot what it's all about in the reason why the forgot what it's all about its cause he's fucking people were hungry at one point time they were that's when really most comedy comes from a place of fear and hatred and that it is a matter of chest cutter perspective in my opinion we have learnt a lot if i do i but hedberg was it personally perfect example where you look at that guy on paper like this should that he would say on paper the de jug about double trees they may have a gay days how did they knew that let's go to trees no let's call it doubled tree meeting adjourned buildings namely that we should be finally whether funny we want a loan in my car laughing my ass off on a hearing on x and radio their certain
is that they they just they find out judea perfect example you ve said about you ideas can read the phone book and they be funny so the cairo guys don't i did you doing that term night than you might not yet is at our but a wretched express it is i don't want to get arms right is warranted you sit at best when you said and i heard i can't say it third hand you can see something second i i had to take i do have to show leadership so glad signals and let's find a closer look at its heart you know there's six bag during the earlier we drink of i think i'm pretty fired yours over there by the way is the only of urban need to be designed have drunk on upon cast an otter of it and obscene that little do too his big ass bitches didn't have anything to answer you know it's six p m abed had eggs
lies wiser pancakes stay alive she and some chinese chunky banana so here's how they kyle seas i didn't love all sure it's not it's not personal listen you know you could do better we know you better you can do better we can all do better policies you can do better ok maybe just cut down hyperbole yeah comedy master causative what did why master after three days that's what ever get now four and this is why you have to ask is one of emma del monte compilation real for his glass he goes do you want to make a million dollars in your first year of comedy oh no it s and say that these fuck you cease that is ridiculous caused these that's that's bullshit i know you're dead
like a flower and faculty it'll be ok stop doing justice to carmody did the wood or the last thing i want to talk about in this is this is a sort of a recurring theme and the i think one of the reasons why you dont like comedy and weather my colleague bows you is you're really fuckin good at it and this just my own theory i think when you get really good at anything you don't feel like you deserve any of what you're doing and i think when you get to this point we're all these he bore point now inga always fuckin also means the shit and you're the fuckin man you get these two messages unlike k it becomes clear because you know that to be really good at something to be to tune something like you do look i'm a fucking comedy connoisseur right i've been doing up calmly for all twenty two years twenty two years now but doing it and i've been watching us much longer than that and you one of my favorites so i know that you you're too
and do it i know you're too new into it but when you and into it nodded a really in order to really get the energy the creator not really fuckin tap into the muse you gotta think you're a piece of shit gotta think you're not worthy you gonna think that it's all bullshit you gotta think that fuckin different who the fuck am i what do you do you never think you're the shit when these guys get famous that's what happens that's why they suck the famous and everyone tells him wish there the shit they start thinking their special and start thinking they protected and they dont want to dive in the fuck and see if you man why i went laughs one it's not funny through that yeah that's true but i have to i will enjoy more when i can get back to a place where i am now worried about living up to expectations because i will have to god and man dies you had dinner like while i'm doing on and fuck she turned her head i think i don't get past those ideas if you just take care of your body a little bit better there's a lot of stress that comes up to me when i dont exercise the only energy
that's coming the only like feeling of expectation is all this does the performance of the show and they jobless people and it's like there's not enough other physical activity guy you a lot depends on me joe really competent work out jason comedy boot camp you too can be powerfully phony less like a farce of this approach by fresh lobby digs norm unite i mean it sounds very cliche unhappy in but yoga i really would have apple really want to bring this back to my girlfriend have abroad is a baby realistic ronald after my please say no boy is your is yours i'm gonna fuck this vampire mouth but you can have this vague rubber dig you know fuck you
of what is this i believe is a balance to all of it and i think we both we both seek the balance in escaping has generally selling a rubber vagina that's out its period now because i thought the shit out of a girl in a period is like saying sire rubber vagina does as big as a house realistic but its weight you big go ahead i think gum let's not doing its job creating its own deconstructing comedy a mom just trying to say that i think this whole thing is would we we all do in aids it's all about tuning into the idea that's relevant to you to the end to the other whatever you're saying on stage that hits you and a lot of it doesn't love and makes them laugh and it doesn't make you laugh until you're trying to find this fucking spot but it's not the same thing just trying to like just good just get to the pure shit tune into the pure shit and into the purity you know and then this always this big big battle with yourself when you do in that it is a big self hate thing
and insecurity thing in and then known you on all those people fuckin love you but you the same guy when you were shit in your pants your car and our don't have like fame issues or anything like that i just not even fame issue exam living i want you to do spectacular expectation that his fame now faces a few who really liam it's not a matter of it doesn't famous enough to worldwide shit fame can be neighbourhood fan can fuck you up you can think somebody wherever that runaways remember the hot horace it was waiting with coke it joe and will have to do it now do it to what now the coke the golden egg as i gotta get out of six fifty i got russia tonight ladies and gentlemen if you're one of the best comics we're going to country today it sounds like fucking hollywood would we're bond spoke each other's asses but i do i'm glad we're friends and you you inspire me and i love talking here i love what you do on another then you don't i've always eyes
i mention you on the road are the cigar nowhere how everytime i go by i have thought about fucking and anyone who ass kids i don't have friends it have because as soon as they have fucking kids i don't talk to him any more than an hour we say except for joe rogan seas is a buckeye to me i still talk to him he can have as many kids as he walked you be upset of me if i had kids if i didn't if i if i was an intimidating tat we light as they are very once people have kids they tend to drift in other directions anyway and i don't i was myself before our kids i think a lot of people are not themselves no no stand well you they want to incorporate their kids india and i've bugging spies children younger the war like babies i was fuckin terrifying to go i said oh brian and then this brian i like fucking mongolia
the look in his baby cause i'm gonna have to pretend like if i somewhat came to my house and i go these are my dogs and they guy buckingham dogs outward bump me out so i'm gonna have to be do the right thing kid but you didn't fuck and made me look at the kidney heads or fuckin fascinating hours now look nods and aids i owe you say that a nicer than why made some things are music doesn't fascinates me kids don't that evidently i look out there in exactly the same position will you're dying people fascinates me fucking love people dying through the ideas fastening the whole idea that is as to people in the last three shows i've done including last night i'm dying of cancer will we came up then the guy was obviously fuckin dying of cancer great it into your mother fucker but it's not a bad way no that's fucking that's exactly with the only thing i love about comedy and the base have created the audience that i have is that rare my shows attract people that are that fucking
out on the fringes or in the dark this places of life they come to see me then not just button just as i know a lot so yeah i know but i'm sales and our people love you shit i do agree the you're you're you're so honest and so out there and so on in your ear your talent to add to the point where i dont worry about i'd harold s edge bore but this is says fuck it such a sock each other off first there's gonna be three pages of your message board what are you search each other's work love each other augurs forgive of course make me heart is in the fucking background that this is an interesting conversation backs not hungry i please check out my friend joe romans podcast you're on thirty on where we dug stanhope dotcom ladies gentlemen doug stand hope on twitter
doug stand hope is appearing at john loves calmly club tonight and tomorrow night tonight is thursday was thursday bran whether as they have friday twenty third twenty third at twenty fourth in hollywood ticket still available you get tickets online jump what were you can figure it out if you need to find it you need to come the shop we had it about some shit off the air thanks to the flashlight perspiring thanks to brian for keeping to gather up we thanks ducks help becoming finalize best podcast overdone love
that is fine by me in a garage
Transcript generated on 2020-03-22.