« Last Podcast On The Left

Episode 181: Creepypasta X - Thumbers

2015-07-01 | 🔗

It's the tenth in our Creepypasta series as we read stories involving skin burning, eyeball popping, Pac Man, and thumbers, plus bonus 911 calls!

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
There's no place to escape. To this is the last time okay, it was a hot dog. I know I know I know no, I would not want to go. Do it. I would not want to go to a public festival that celebrated big FAT Jersey, man just eaten literally eating coffee. Like I don't know, if that's his July. Fourth to me, I don't know if that says birth of our nation to me it app so I mean it's really the death of our nation, ironically enough, the hot dog eating competition celebrating the birth of our nation really just shows our ultimate demise 'cause. I will say that apparently, the Benjamin Franklin actually invented the sexual move,
someone sucking on your balls. He made a slave, do it! No. We did not Benjamin Franklin, Danone, small, a no, he didn't own slaves, but he certainly peruse that she will leave Benjamin Franklin alone. He was fat and you know how difficult it was to be fat back then. No, it was actually easy back then, because everyone just assumed you were rich well and he was covered in sheets of
in an rayon in many many girls. Well, Mister Brown's get don't think we're gonna. Have you history substitute teaching the black we made this spanish and I know that for to be certain all this today July. Fourth, twenty fifteen I've called you out of your office to make you interview me for the job professor of history here at Tulane University. I just don't understand how I failed. The estate tease. I listened up. Mister Sir Brawl Ski and I wrote down exactly what he said that they called me. A raise was expelled. Welcome to the show everyone I am Ben Gisele joined by Marcus Parks, old, my goodness, there's a send up as a brown ski in the room. Yes, it's called the clone play. It's called cannabis by fresh. That is actually true. I wear Cologne called cannabis. You do yeah, isn't that kind of fun just of like, if you're not getting harassed by the police enough just wear Cologne called, cannot Nana cops and I have a good laugh. You know why, because we're all white that is like the definition of white privilege, I'm sorry, there's a lot of race of my mind July. Fourth is coming up on this, but a lot of good things that happen in our country, America. I was in Canada for them, and so I'm just gonna. I'm also going to take part in a big celebration. I was, I was a cure for it as soon as a good work. America. We are two thousand years old today on July. Fourth, win is that is I don't know that our day, I don't think we're two thousand years. So that's a way older than all the earth is only six thousand five hundred years old. I'll give you that we are all, but at least a third of that I don't know. Okay
and we're going to. I can't wait to roast pigs, not here in New York City. It's so good to be back all right. Well, it's great to have you back in in honor of U K of being back we're going to read some creepy pasta yeah. Well, I hey, I hope, you're not gonna help and I am hi all the medical, it's a kind of a continent marinara I've got my comment is recovering. Well, this is a great first date place. I just love how the chef comes out any interacts with all of the people here in the restaurant hey. I know how to make it. I'm not. I want my man and I thought, but I will, if I got a pick, a fight, a maple top. I throw that out there What I do is I take a sweet blood from a screaming fuqing swan. I take us Wanna cut open its parking and also read that column in it, and then I saw their garlic.
They break into our chef, has been chained to the oven for the past five weeks, that was a homeless man. That was a homeless man. You just hate his semen. We are yes we're back to doing some its been along time ago. Well, over a year, yeah and so many fun writings and different creepy pastas that have popped up. The past year that we're excited to share with you. Can we just say honestly, Creepypasta hasn't gotten better. No? No, I would say it's gotten a little bit worse. I was really hoping that we would find some. You know really choice creepy bets now in their and then I realize I don't. I
I personally don't have feelings anymore and I can't be scared, anymore or happy or sad or bad, so maybe just lost on me. It just words on a page to me. It's absolutely awesome. Yeah I had one of my assistants, research, some creepy pasta and she was like this is really scary. Like I don't know, this is super scary and like what are your truck, you know, what's scary is yeah? Do you know what happened during the rape of Nanking? Alright? Well, let's stop bring it all up all right. So before seven hundred and thirty one I was just going to say, you had seven hundred and thirty one, the most horrific war crimes that have ever existed. So there's two lovely japanese p, pull on the on the cast of heroes and
They seem to have deny all knowledge of unit. Seven hundred and thirty one they're not taught about it in school and they took their like. Well, what do you mean? It's just like I'm just like you boil demands hands just to see what is smoking bones, look like so you're, so on the set of heroes. This is your between shoot, banter, oh yeah, I'm sitting around the crafting tables looking at bran, muffins and ship need like meats and cheeses. Well, technically, it's like your workplace, so you my job yeah but then you're just kind of accusing people of war crimes there at done. No, it is my responsibility to bring true I am the luciferian lamplight of of knowledge and
our everywhere I go. It is my responsibility as a sickness to leave no stone unturned to lead knoll shadow on skewers. I think you're taking it upon yourself, I'm not sure yeah. I think workplace banter supposed to be like whole milk. One of the call it is it I I got a can of skim milk and it was full to the Chinese are not logs the people. There are five elite blood lines that run our world is a part of a new world order and who controls the water controls the future. All right full ride. Fluoride is actually very good for your teeth and, let's also keep it from being psychic. Well, you could have gingivitis and heart disease as well as some real scary stuff. Is things written by forty nine year olds to the dark of their mothers basements for the internet? Oh my god. Alright, who wants to start will know before we start what I so. What I need you So I'm going do this, the traditional all right like like we always do
if you're wearing clothes, shut off the fucking podcast and quit listening to the podcast. If you have been again for the entire time of listening to all one hundred and eighty one episodes of last podcast on the left you you're a failure. For a note, you're. Nobody, that's untrue, take off your fucking clothes, no you're doing wonderfully and they had to go outside and they don't get arrested. Henry I don't care again, luciferin lamplight take off, superior shirt, take off your many corsets. If you're one of the beautiful women that listen to this show, I know the everybody's wearing corsets take take. Take that off be Newt. Tell Barbara in the cubicle next scared to fucking shove, it you don't care what her half blind autistic kids gotta say. Well, that's very! that is shown here so yeah, because their opinions are halfway. Barbara. You made it if you're blind, you don't get half the information, so you're can't Well, the other stories are heightened. I think it's equals. It does even know they're, not daredevil,
No, no, not really, but I want you to lawyers, though roll up the thickest fuckin' toddler arm of defining when I have right now. Is this stuff called green Alien, and I was tripping balls, the other night stare, get my fish, I got fish tank. We did you get a phish tickets in the Airbnb that I'm staying in Toronto and so it Gohan Unfucking. I was totally nude. I smoked an entire joint of it. I just stared at this fish. I guess guess what Manthey hid under a rock, because I thought I was a fucking credit and so I want to do that. Roll it up and when you back in the dark light a couple candles and know that we're about to lay some creepy hands down underneath the meat underneath your knee and we're in a working up the back of your legs and tickle tickle. The bottom of your.
Butt cheeks with something truly frightening. That actually sounds like it feels really good dad dad yeah. I love that those fish were just looking at you be like the bloop, Israel, Israel, the rumors are true. It's the river man of the river people. Alright, who wants to start us off? Ok, this is called I'll, be waiting. You don't know me No one knows Maine only Pastor knows the minds. I mean it's not so I just realized that did yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's it. You don't know, I don't understand it's. Okay, I see now you see interpretation sister, yeah yeah, yeah and that boy and the rest of this thing. Yes, ok, use our to get out of it, we'll
I'll be waiting existence but Master, and I know all of you. We visit all of you, my friend during the witching hour, I'm never there. During the day. Homes rays, penetrate my shadowy Solon obliterate. My flesh, my bones, turned to ash. My organs become dust. Daytime in one place is night time in another, though so master and I always are traveling Never in one place for too long after the sun is died, the moon lives. Again, I come ok. Looks up to you, breathe in the center of your life. I listen to your heartbeat and breathing,
master than starts work on you put in one finger on your forehead and whispering latin words like Ola and Morocha slender man yeah, that's different than land. I always end up squirming or screaming. That's Call some nightmares. I always want to comfort. You hold you close, but I can never touch not ever. Pastor tells me never to touch. I learned not to touch master, hurt me badly and my skin hi Scott sensitive skin paid. The price Sometimes I can't help myself when master isn't looking at I brush my finger.
Nails down your arms trace your lips comb, your hair away from your face. My skin kills. Your kind breaks the blood this is Bruce is your body in mysterious ways: you can never figure out, I'm sorry. Really am. I just can't help myself. I want to show you how much I love you it's a great day, yeah, but this is pretty much word for word. What I do just thinking about that. When master and are done with you? How is Take souvenir, usually it's something small. But you won't notice is missing. Like a coin in NASH up from behind masters back, but sometimes We don't have very much when that happens. I take something else with masters permission, of course, her nails eyelashes apart of you, and it will always be mine. I hope to see you tonight. If you don't fall, asleep will have a prob
Master says I can't let you see me. If you see me our friendship will be over. I don't have to kill you, I don't want to kill I don't want to see the blood seep through your bed sheets. I don't want to see your face as you scream in the sight of me to form skin by scars, my love for you, but maybe deep down inside just a little bit I am masters child. After all, sweet dreams, darling I'll, be waiting for you. Tourist or pedicure type. I couldn't be there. This is the Macneil Easy Holding Mcnealy's, father and mother. That was their wedding, like values other nice, so we just kind of taken skin shavings and nails and random hairs seems like that's the gist,
have this monster huh, it's weird huh, ugly guy! I must be easier vampire. I don't know, I'm not really sure about blood. Can't figure out who this person is. I think he's like are Enfield Computer Enfield, yeah yeah, like Tom waits, very creepy sure Very good. A rousing there in the middle right now, I'm going to read a story called Marie, Thibodaux, Dole September by September, to Marie Thibodaux, one thousand eight hundred and one to eighteen. Eighty one was the markable woman. She kind, intelligent, headstrong and never once told a lot yeah. She got a lie. You got a license. Everybody lives to be nice sometime, most people lie every go to that. You're just mean a representative. That's what got Chris Rock said have a nice day
Oh, I didn't mean that have a nice day I raped my my father last night, Kate come on, but All of you voodoo high priestess, has, I think, not they work by different rules. Just like Marie Thibodeau she lived her entire life in New Orleans establishing a reputation from an early age as a potent healer and clairvoyant people. For miles simply to visit her apothecary although many more sampled here, legendary concoctions by 1870s. She had simultaneously become one of the most feared an Revere figures in Louisiana in eighteen. Eighty one landowner named Jacob Parish Travel to New Orleans from Baton, Rouge Parish, is vastly wealthy and devoutly religious, but just a morbid fascination for the occult he had hired? platoon of ex soldiers from the recently concluded civil war in with them. He marched.
On Bourbon street and into memories store. Despite the pro of her assistance. The Disparition audience here. Heard rumors that the great voodoo queen had discovered the secret to eternal life and demand. That she used it to hear that a main usually only go through like to meet up. I don't hear from never flustered Marie directed him, she had indeed discovered a ritual that would grant immortality, but for a set period of time two years to be exact that doesn't technically makes sense, but yeah more immortality forever, but I mean I I mean I don't mean to be like a foot of water per here. I don't mean to be like a you tube comment here, just to see much use line, doesn't it once per? formed. The subject would rise again after his natural death having no need for food, air or water immune to disease and utterly impervious to bodily harm. Aft
fifty years have elapsed, however, the subject would I once more net to rise again frustrated? This revelation parish nevertheless knew her by reputation to be an honest woman. It would not pass up opportunity to live beyond his natural lifespan, the agreed to conduct the ritual for him as long as he vowed to leave New Orleans permanently, once it had been concluded fares agreed, and the ritual was performed true to his Paris return to Baton Rouge later that day, but not ordering his mercenaries to murder Marie and her assistant Santa burn her apothecary to the ground. It's a bad movie do against voodoo queen. You know why, because the whole thing was like voodoo queens is that, like their ship goes on after you burn them down totally yeah, they get stronger. The more you, Burnham, yeah yeah Louisiana folk are renowned for their superstitions, which are many and varied. It was unusual, however,
Dozens would later swear that they had seen disembodied shadows, making their way on mass up to the parish months. That night and I was just them being racist, color racist. The following morning, the fifteen mercenaries were found with their necks snapped is though they had been two Parrish Himself- was discovered in his bed wide eyed and apparently terror stricken his throat out with such ferocity, that the corner, was forced to conclude that a bear had somehow made its way into is locked seventh floor room? Well, you know I'll deal with his have give him, because he had to come out of this one, because this won't be out how do memo yeah this won't be a run. The oral battling it out. Nobody else. Can I he'll be, but he'll buy cages because way, Diaz Gentle be us enough. Well, I just wish I wish my wife, more retail, will come back to me about don't rule, that's what happens when make the only guy in town with a knife, the corner,
black magic were not lost on locals, however, who promptly buried all sixteen bodies in Magnolia cemetery, the following day, Marita though, was a remarkable woman. She never told a lie, but that is not to say that she never withheld the truth, what she did not disclose was that resurrection would not take place until seventy two hours after death when pair his grave was exhumed for relocation in nineteen. Fifty three puzzled, excavators, noted the singularly deep gouge marks found inside the coffin. They are you just got points? Did you Mann thought? Oh, my god, like Paris, Hilton going down a fake plane crash, this woman got punked. I say she deserved it to know he. It was a man. I'm saying Paris Hilton deserve this. Guy also deserved it of course. Yes, yes, yes yeah man, you got got got this. What happens you try to double crosser double crosser what're, you get, you get triple crown
across more more cross than the person that you crossed double just know that absolutely everybody know that if you're dealing with the voodoo queen right, she's always going to say it's a monkey's paw agreement, she going to say yes, it's gonna, be this always going to be the thing it's always going. You want to live forever. Yes, you'll live forever, but you got nine dicks. Now right I mean you have to deal with it all. You want all the money in the world. You got all the money in the world, but that money is made out of well, that's fine! You gotta touch! It only told Dixon COM, but it's fine. Nine dicks isn't the worst thing to go through life. Without my field, you would not. Where are they been? Where are
are there in your crotch. Are they all like as a strange plant that is sprouting from your nether regions who, from your knees, yeah? How long should be sir? Every time you want to like, although I don't really big thick coming out your mouth, the home, yeah they're, all four inches long and always flaccid- I mean it would be our agreement. Yeah yeah. I don't know that we kind of fun, though, because then you can flare up like a scared cat yeah. I had it hard in your this should quit this just a quick quiz really before your next or a quick quiz for. Ladies, if you took a guy's pants off you so nine six, would you shrieking or give you see your answers this week, find out we'll find out on the facebook page this one's called touch by so Timbre Derleth. Now the story about romance so his girlfriend were the most romantic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no know from there. He and his girlfriend the most romantic couple. Their idea of spicing up their relationship was making out in the dark. It's kind of
but that's what you make women do right Why would you have lights on when you have a body like mine. I am the light I'd like to see the bodies. No, this discussed in Henry. He came over door this. This is going back this relationship. He came over to our house late one night when her parents were out of town and they laid down on the honor. Bed together and he turned off the bedside lamp held her hands in his hands and they began kissing gently. He was kissing her gently. How do you ever have sex like just like this? The thing about the darkness is that it heightens your other senses like we're. Talking about the blind. Daredevil is here and I was smelling. I don't know if you want to smell to be harder, but the sound her gentle breathing beginning to Quicken the sweet. Smell of perfume off at the base of her neck. She put a right there in her neck, the taste of lips in the salt, her skin the feel love nails, beginning to dig into his shoulder despite the darkness, his eyes snapped open, as he realized that both their hands were still class firmly within his own.
So who is rubbing his back. You owe is nail. He was terrible. It was real man, Greg Schlather couldn't help but notice you both make love. Never noticed that your back look at. She also could notice that I'm allergic to pants and the belt old man grey goose common to be the third leg on this wobbly table. I love it. The tables to wobbly. We need another leg now me to leave the stamp little Greg's liquor, store everybody's got a job to do. Isn't that fun So that was a relationship story. They were having sex with each other in bed and he felt hands on his back, even though hers were clasped his hand so kind of scary alright! So now we have a very special moment in the show we are back. You know how many times it with everyone says. Oh,
the nine one. One calls are too much: hey, listen to them and the only me and cleared of listening to them to weave promise for ever to never plan nine one one call again and I focus what we're we're so we're never gonna play whenever again right, Marcus, never ever know. This is actually a three one. One call oh yeah totally definitely yeah absolutely this. This call but we're going to be listening to right now, This is a man who was working at a recycling plant in Florida in Orlando and he had the unfortunate position of having his leg ripped off by a Baylor, you did not do his job right?
Let's listen to a we're. Gonna come in about seven minutes into the call. Seven it's it's eleven minute call ahead to get there. It spends. Quite. He spends quite a long time talk about how he's going to die. How was mother's gonna just kill them all, which is the weird thing, because he's already gonna die right right right here we go okay, so yet again so fired third, the aid and he did a rap at the sheriff's office. We we can't find going to recycle center. Where about? Are you? Ok, Ethan he's all the way in the back behind you, John you're, right here behind the building at the big blue machine right, machine. Yes, sir better so yeah right. Machine machine yeah had failed all around it. Maybe one slash four itself on. I don't know so
who sang him like l idea? No, I understand. I understand there there now looking for you, ok, so I'm gonna pass out. Ok, No, I want you to keep talking to me you're, going to be fine, sir. Yes, sir, here I'm here on, they might not. I don't want him not talking here again nobody here, somebody there now John. I hear so many background. That's my coworker Richie! okay, okay, so yeah, found you John yeah, your coworker just found right yeah. I just found tell you We still there with you know he wanted to get the police. Ok, ok, sir yeah, that's fine! I love you! Everybody for coming home Are you there here
the police right now: okay, English. Hello, going on with them apart, okay are you talking to me or the police Jon Bernthal again to both of you? Ok, I'm ready for this I did go to jail for those said, I'm really surprised. We didn't get to hear the point where the cops rolled in there were like drop, the Baylor drop, the Baylor ST, and then they shoot him multiple times in the head, and you saw him he had a Baylor, so we had to kill them. I gotta say this guys about one Sinello said: say: Officer Greg: you are getting funnier every time we come across a man. Half dad. Isn't that great? It's so sad that the man's poor concern is going to jail yeah and then before that he's like. Could you call my mom I'd? Do
she's, gonna, fucking, kill me man no actually sounds like a pretty good guys, but he's like she's gonna get Comma Steven. You know what he survived and he actually released the nine one. One call himself to help
amputees come to terms with other condition he survived. His leg is currently haunting the area yeah and you can't every time he will go by using a woman's skirt. You just feel the tower on a Monday yeah. It could mean guys around the Baylor in the yeah. That's what I do. If I was to go through it, they could have a little bit more specific with the location. The like a forklift to write a letter saying yeah, yeah, there's a balers and I'm not really sure how to do a Baylor, mags bales bail is like a high in organic cube. All have bail is out you talk about your it's will cowboys sit on well, there's all chicken house all right, a little bit more specific with the location would help. I there's a blue sky high and there is and not have one leg now so look for the guy was only got one way, ludicrous all right. Well, a very actually one of our guests come up lifting call it's a bit of a yeah, we're gonna, say our we're, starting with an uplifting one. There yeah,
we're going to end with a not uplifting one though, I never met you fucking asshole, great people, great people, so this is called nightmares. If you guys have not seen the documentary the nightmare, do you all favor and do it so that you also can be haunted with the idea of seeing the man with a black hat and you. And go to sleep like like what happened to me literally, I've never been so scared alone before my life, since I've seen the documentary the nightmare watch it it's booked up, ok, I'm sorry to say. If you do have night terrors? If it does happen like, if you, if you add, maybe sauce shadow people in the past,
I don't mean alarm you. They are real and they're gonna start happening again. You want to sell your house immediately at the bottom bottom. Did rock bottom price should get out of that? There's no they're going to follow you wherever you go for the rest of your life, so that you know you're a victim there attached to you. It's you you're. The problem. The only way out is, is either literally. The only way out is you have to suck your own cock until you shoot into your own mouth, but I'm a girl. That's your fault! No nightmares!. I used to think nightmares for fun. So I for more. They were the only source of excitement. In my endless run of a life. I never used to get nightmares, and for that I should have been grateful. I wasn't I wish for more I crave the adrenaline, the pounding of my heart. It's my eyes, flew open the c, be careful what you wish for. We are not lying the shadow man behind you watch out the night
sure to come quicker and much more often it was small things at first the things anybody would have being chased by wild dogs being abandoned or running naked into school, which is Like my child, I tired of them quickly. I know He said and keep myself awake after them. Soon they began to become more intense. My brain began, playing with me, I'd be held down by my throat unable to breathe a name. A scream my chest heaving, but no air entering my lungs I'd be torn at my skin, coming only like butter, I'd be tide down, as though, as I trusted slice into me, I began to dream of him. Their idea was at home, then I'd wake. My eyes are not quite focusing on anything in my small box room, flip
rules of my cushions would merge with the cream of my wall and the giant Teddy Bear that sat in the corner would blur, but I could breathe. There is no pressure on my throat I would taken deep lungfuls of air as if I hadn't breathe for hours? I scratched it my skin to check if it was still there and it was. I would check my clock and it would will be the same time? Five minutes. Past three in the morning became my waking hour. No. No, no my guys would try to slide close, but I couldn't let that happen. Instead, I'd pull myself to the bathroom down the carpeted, splash, icy water, on my face until I was in no danger of sleeping the sleep deprivation I concluded, would be better than facing that out of the horrors of the night, I going to school like a zombie and they seem to notice that anything was different. I to become paranoid. This people walked past me. The memories would come, rushing back invading my mind,
She was one of the first incision two nights ago. He was the one who had his hand over my neck last week and they were the ones that retrieve the knives in the depths of hell. I pushed everyone away in fear. They would build hell on earth. So I sat alone excluding myself from the drone of conversation in the inconvenience of Life Dylan think about it. My nightmares would plague me. Creative writing. Assessments in English were easy. Just pick a night, there was a horror story right there. Talks about in history, shocked. Others barely even struck me as odd the drawings I did in. Made, everyone feel nauseous but seems quite normal to me. Lessons on Helen ARI would spike fear into my soul? All the things I needed more imagery about Haiti's was not one of them. Those lessons has left for my tree. To a human being and go fourteen days without sleep before they die the record for days without.
It's eleven days, a record which is held by university student from America. My record is five days, I started hallucinate ing so horrifically on day. Five. I couldn't take it anymore. The Saurus whispers began first, this voice is assuring me I was crazy, but it's worthless, doomed to be and by my own mind next, it was a high pitched sempiternal screaming squealing squealing It sounds like nails running on chalkboard or knife, scraping against the plate only twice as high in five times as loud. Then inanimate objects began to turn clinic went spots of bright brightness. Emitting from plants in pictures. Blinded me know that these were merely chemical chimera. He may set the author made quite the use of the on this one. Under these are merely kind miracle, but Kenneth Schizophrenics having hallucinations. Neither can some
suffering with extreme sleep. Deprivation decided to suck it up and face the new answers every night. I've been sleeping. Well, When I say well, I mean I've been getting six hours of sleep a night why? I know I'm not hallucinating when I see dark figures in my bedroom at night, when you hear the creaking of my door opening, I know it's real, when the piercing screams of tortured souls invade my eardrums. It's actually happening going to hear the hiss threats that are coming there coming for me. Sadly, I know that that's real too is she be careful what you wish for I wish for hell. I got it. It's five minutes past three in the more I can hear them kind of excited. I like cream walls means what was it purple: purple kush and purple Christian? That's what I'm going to say if I ever, if I ever have sex with a woman, why
purple kush and would like to meet your cream walls. You permissible sempiternal, adjective eternal and unchanging. Whatever chimerical adjective real imaginary visionary recall like the Kamera right, the mythical creature that look with one look and turn you into stone. Sometimes people use big words just 'cause, they don't want you to understand and sue service, whispering murmuring or wrestling This is serious of the stream. So this guy so this guy had a fedora like mark on his fucking forehead right. He had a word of a day. Can't work word a day. Calendar he's just flipping through it and you got to the words he wanted, but sometimes I really do wonder if the people that suffer from these night terrors in the sleep paralysis that maybe you know, maybe they do into another realm past the curtain of this reality into the next, and maybe the man with the head's real name,
Maybe he's got a pet monkey and his name is George got a yellow cap and the whole world is crazy, but that's just in the colour world, but then, when the shadow is castep on our world to become as the shadow man and cousin nightmare. They have all this stuff, but like iron claws gripping at your penis, when you sleep, like that in the man was just looks like a shadow made out of static comes up and he touches your chest and all you can do is scream, but you can't make a noise yeah. Maybe this man is real and that's usually with the sentence uttered by a father, saying that's just the family cat, and you know that so, let's move on alright next story is called. Why you keep your eyes shut. It train from driving. I'm sleep: That's why I keep my eyes at Northstar. That's: are you guys having a campfire sleepover, just the two yeah yeah I'll bring over my body old man Greg yeah anyone actually wikipage 'cause, you hate, seeing the movement
the old man breaks needs work. Round the room to protect the tip tip, yeah great friend of mine, anyways back to the story, don't go camp. There were once a girl living in a town where everyone expected you to be normal. Yet every People said her glares and weird looks because they knew she couldn't see him till in Clybel. I don't Dylan is going to do with this one. We're always shut. They never opened and not even her mother knew what I color she had. However, We acted offended when people grimmest she could normally and she could even take notes- and the teacher was talking that girl acted as if she could see doing things that other people could do with their eyes one day a brave little, boy on a tricycle road over to stared at her eyelids, the boy gasp. The girl stopped and
down as if she could see him miss why? Why do you keep your eyes shut? The little boy asked. What do you mean the girl inquired and after the little boy didn't She continued to walk when she was walking home from school the next day a couple, bully surrounded her. She stopped in their presence making the bully shocked. Yet they quickly change, their spiteful attitude who are you? Why do you always keep your eyes shut? One fully demanded stomping his foot on the ground after the well didn't respond. One bullet hit her in the head and pulled her hair and another one kicked her leg, and stopped on her foot. They continue this action, that's assault. That is, felony assault. They continue this action, but not for too long. Amelia Robinson, was enjoying a nice walk with her husband that same day, their pace quickened when it came darker,
both of them stopped abruptly when they saw something so horrible. Something so horrifying that Amelia screamed and called the police there. On the sidewalk laid three bodies, all of which were boys. They had been related. Their blood's being the sidewalk and their guts in vain, sprawled everywhere it appeared as if someone had just dug her nails into the flash and rip them open. Like you rip open a bag of chips. However, a very good answer: yeah, with your teeth, however, one body part was missing. Can you guess what the penises with bottles there we were way off. We were thinking below the way. I'm ok, I'm at Amelia was so frightened that she didn't see. The note that the police had found they claimed it was eight to one of the victims bodies. After reading the note, the police
If it is backup, went to investigate the dead bodies, some more, which weren't being removed until the following day. The note said when you teased me about my eyes being shut, I figured that you could have them and return. I will have yours, the police is prediction was right bullies hand was pair of eyeball? My god, that's great. It's like that carriage
Nickelodeon cartoon with the eyes, and there was always holding the idea for my real monster- grump kin. Oh, I love that Rumkin, which is also what you call when you fart in a bowl, and then you make your lover smell all your finger in her butt hole, that's pulling a grump, that's exciting! This story is called thousands. Oh, that is a lot alright. So no more than hundreds had always me. Oh man, Greg, will let you get back to your storage on Hillman Green, like to you to school. If we were long way off get outta here, not here old bank right, I got a call from his yeah your chain smoker and you were in Vietnam. Oh yeah! That's right! Vietnam! All right, huh! Alright! Thousands!
You gone to bed around nine funny, that's a little early for you, but you don't seem to care you toss and turn for a few minutes before you feel it somebody's watching. You you're sure of it. You selling me today. It sounds like you're selling me on this, so I'm selling it yeah just intern for a few minutes, you're sure of it. Somebody's watching. Oh, do not want to see what I'm about to sell you for nine. For three easy payments of three thousand three hundred and ninety nine- you crawl into bed around nine funny. That's a little early for you, but you don't seem to care you toss and turn for a few minutes before you feel it somebody's watching. You you're sure of it. You should this game, the room finding nothing, but you still feel a little uneasy. You down facing the room. You shut your eyes and you're trying to sleep, but can use We feel the eyes watching you, it's just nice to have somebody there. You pull the kite. Take it. You know, I'd take a ghost at this point over pure loneliness said: yes, yes, exactly you pull,
covers over your head in your feeling in your and the feeling fades you relax and close your eyes, but as soon as they shut the feeling returns, words that you're scared to move the covers to search to search for the eyes that you know are watching you you're terrified, but you yank the covers down as you do and as you do, your heart skips a beat. You scan the room scene, absolutely nothing. Yet again the feeling disappears and you scold yourself or acting like such a child. I'm an idiot, I'm a child, I'm a grown thirty nine year old man you roll over tored the wall and quickly fall into a peaceful sleep, but Let me ask you this. Do you know how many hiding places there are in your room? I do thousands, thousands of it he's only that's also a bad thing of like you get a girl over your house and you like. Do you have any hiding places I have in my room thousands, thousands of yeah, I checked. No, no. I literally have no idea places in my room. I have no furniture. I just feel like this. Guy must have a huge room
thousands thousands yeah coming the knick knacks. He had. Oh, my goodness, he's tiny. I'm watching. I think that thing watching it has to be tiny for there to be thousands of hiding places. You have to be tiny. Why you got damn scared then utilizing elephants scared of a mouse health. It's not scared of amount. They are, you know, they're, not yeah, they are, you know they are not. Yes, they all show you yeah tune in on. So we can show you you do video l, this call and all of that, no we're not we're not gonna do here, but will do later. Let's go back to play nine one, one again we're not playing another. One of these calls their two grizzly and their two disgusting right, and I think that people in its reprehensible the idea that we would, even play, one of these phone calls ever because this is human death. Do we find human death to be death to be sacred, do not buy, you know like are: are we not people like with empathy and consideration for other people's feelings, I'm going to say you're, not that's true, yes,
a booger in my nose there? It is if you just went in the whole diatribe about life and death you're picking a booger over here. Alright, let's just play this danged call. This is a nurse at a nursing home fusing to do CPR on a dying old woman. This is great how we get that's not enough. Okay, I'm learning yeah! We can do because it's like a hand painted and found a bunch of the passerby. If you can't do it, I need scanned into the password I'll. Have her do it or if you've got any city citizen o Heaven knows anybody. There can do CPR, given the phone. Please I understand if you, if your facility is not willing to do that, give the phone did up classified that stranger that hasn't been. I need this moment not leaving enough he's going to die if we don't get this started. I understand I understand. Ok, I am a nurse, but I cannot have our other senior citizens.
Don't know CPR in a dining room. I will instruct them easier. Anyone now he's with us. Ok, I don't understand why you're not going to help this patient. I am ok great then I'll walk you through it all away. Pms takes the liability for this Colleen. I'm happy to help you ok. This is either the Vms protocol, Ok, I don't know why is it keep yelling at me and saying that we have to have one of us, perform CPR until it dropped and I'm not going to do that and let that call allowed only is there anybody that works to this willing to do. We can't let this lady di well, that's why I will calling nine hundred and eleven
Wait. She can't wait right now. She is stopping breathing. She can't wait for to get there. I know he saying we don't do. You can talk to my boss and I'm ok, I don't know. But everything features are going to let her die my goodness only I've had enough, as your shows that thing to have like what's more evil than that like bureaucratic, like kind of, like stiff arming, where it's just like that think about that, is that she just like literally, and she she just thought about her job. She was, this thing about her job. Picking about her job with no whatsoever? Well, I'll tell you that's what happens when you have the now deceased, Anna Nicole Smith, working at
that woman sounds like she was on more drugs than any of the employees there any of the patients there and you get the feeling there was a family was just like driving by me like let him die. Hospice must be french draws blood for if you know they are here in grandma's death rattles. You know why, because get over me beats really mess it up with me playing call of duty yeah. I never you know. I had a friend who worked in in a retirement community a hospice and he was a very nice guy, but let's be honest, they treat these people terribly. If you have an elderly family member in a hospice right now just play a fun game and it do not break him out of there and taken to recharging. The thing we go and check on him every once in awhile. Look at him to see if they're breathing, you don't come out, go go go visit him! You know, I mean You know, I don't know I'm going to crawl under a porch god, and I feel that I'm coming oh absolutely die like a possum yeah
that's my goal? I hate that nurse so much as a as evil she's like a she has like a there. Any talk about consequences that came from this, this nine one one call none whatsoever warriors the so far, there's an investigation into the incident, but there is no not been revealed to do any criminal wrongdoing 'cause. As far as I know, I don't Unless there is a specific law, uh Apalah meeting local law say you must help a stranger in distress. Then the and people are by no means allowed to help someone that is dying or in distress help us aren't even required some Preme Court just ruled that cops aren't even required to help you if you are in danger or in distress good. I never need it. That's right, all right so remember everyone you're all on your own. So if you ever need to do, CPR make sure you're trained on it, so you can do it to yourself.
You gotta, do it yourself, sometimes like an old western cowboy, would so his own wounds after stabbing himself. Alright, so This is called I'm going to read a story called it's a small road, aka key, a deathlord The fellow standing on the side of the road slightly obscured by the lowline line he's, got a thumb stuck out kind of gruff and we're. Looking it's like hell, why not cool car over the main opens the door. He hops in without saying a word, Looking at our state normal, I don't look up any thumbers spite the being dark. I notice a bright yellow teeth in my rearview, mirror I guess smiling at the comment must be never thumb much myself anymore, more results, dot, This would happen. So I ask what happened. The mayor of the Sexy passes for a moment, shrug their shoulders commences. Tail.
For some years ago. It's not, as you might expect. I was out hitchhiking. Becomes long fix me up sounds good huh. It states here when I, give grunt of approval store Well, there's many pick me up yes dangerous, isn't it what is asking he says before. I can even speak the me it's a bigger, pulls out big old knife on me. He says: yeah dangerous, alright, disturbs me, You got served over 'cause, he started his escape. He starving instead there's a Bible story to tell in the middle of the car right grown again becoming interested. Well, what do you do oh yeah, the man yells
and I don't know where he thrust his arms forward. Right against my cheek. I look down on it in the hand is gone, he pulls it on back. There put it right up. How did you escape more bright, yellow teeth in the mirror again? Well, I gotta hold his hand and in but it's Rangers got two: car at tree, and I made a run for a growing again. The steering wheel the bad hand, the one missing the two little fingers. What It was really. It was made a floor dole off. He was the person who was the person that did the thing the man see. There was a man that was a thumb are and then Bummer was yep another thumb are, but the thumb are that picked up. The man had already picked him up before, but they both had bad memories. So they didn't remember that they had already picked him up before, because he hadn't had a thumb are in along time clear as day yeah.
They were both. There were thumbers they one of them was a thumb are and what was the other one kind of a more of a pinky guy or he had to let yeah his little fingers were missing, so he was a pinker yeah. So he's got a pink. Are your guys, a thumb and the thing about anchors incomers that wars been going on since not since the beginning of the fit drinkers and phone numbers and painters were born in two sides of the same valley, but it will, still rolling on over in the one of the old man in the pink or tribe Mcminnville yeah. I feel like this is how a white trash mother talks about dicks with her daughter, fellers paint, colors numbers and bankers. You got those long, skinny ones. You got the short stubby once you gotta find what works best for you. Gotta put. The thumb are into your pinker everyday every day. All right with this. Next one is ready. By one hundred third, one thousand and thirty seven new guy, you be God Newbie Guy, it's called PAC man
versus child protective services. It seems very real, well beautiful and sunny pockets. A PAC man was enjoying a nice charity rapist Sunday. He put down the shady horrible pizza box, used for a drink and got up on his mother fucking legs. He went to Fucking Mcdonald's Fucka child when he arrived there. He exposed his cock in small, tiny deck and everybody was shocked, but he recognized someone. It was his child and the child was enjoying a fucking drink. Pat and I went over to him and continued to raise him soon. Child protective services bursting through the door face snipers. Let's go Batman's dirty acid would need ago. Needless to say, PAC man would not take such yet from such a fucking shady group full of human baby, Fucking Fuckety football sprang into action and shat all over. He then continued to get out a small rod by pushing it out the head of his penis and shove it up their fucking asses, someone hyper realistic blood fuckin' when every fucking place and fuckin' pack.
How was your weekend? I wrote some stories mom and thank you. Ok, honey! He's a creative mama, Lord of the internet. Everybody fucking knows my accent. I'm a fucking internet. You don't fucking, tell me hyper realistic, quickscope kind of takes What my mouth a little bit after that one all right mark is a very good. Let's see this one involves the the internet as well. New to Let's see here, this one's called here comes falling Walter, Cronkite all they've got a lot of them on Monday there was a note pad, not not internet pads. Well, you know what you need is a feminine pad, because the all the that I'm in I've had a mild pad uses state is saying you got got a couple of minutes: Yup Croquet, freak out if he saw the tampons that are inserted into women nowadays, Marina and more guard go as
that's the name of this one, the purpose to give the same, so it would be difficult for him to reach no way that I read is, is I don't know, what's going on there all right, there's a video on Youtube named Marina, more to guard glasses, Gore's if you see this, if you search this, you will find nothing three times you find some way to few times. You find something you will see is a twin see. This is all wrong. It's written like a zhirkov. Ok, let me redo. This was called Marina, more Gord Merioneth Mariana more to guard there's a video on Youtube named Mariana, Morguard Lesgourgues. If you search this, you will find nothing Sometimes you find something. All you will see is a 22nd video of a man staring intently at you expression list grinning for the last two seconds. The background is under find this is only part. Of the actual video interested
video as two minutes and was removed by Youtube after a hundred and fifty three people who viewed the video gouged out their eyes and mail them to the. U two main offices in San Bruno. You guys remember when that happened right like four days for a package to get there anyway. You know, I mean like it's not like it instantly goes. There go with Brown, that's what I say: don't fed ex. At: U P s at said people also so had also committed suicide in various ways. So the people who set the yeah the people who sent the eyes they also committed suicide in various ways. It is not get known how they manage to mail their eyes after gouging them out yeah. That is a good question. How it gets demons are going to the Fucking Post office, something you fill it out. First, you know fill out the invoke. First gouge amount right next to the mailbox and put him in there, but some. So it's a guys. Ok, which means I have to put these Netflix DVD's. Are there as well? If you
I love Netflix, Dvds and okay, so they gouge out their eyes them and the cryptic conscript in they carve on their forearms has not yet been deciphered. You too we will period period. Will you tube will periodically put up the first twenty seconds of the video to quell suspicions through the People will not go look for the real thing and upload. It seems kind, weird the video itself was only viewed by one Youtube staff. Member who started screaming. Who start screaming after forty five seconds this man is under this man is under constant sedatives that is apparently unable to recall what he saw the uh people who were in the same room as him while he viewed it, and turned it off and turn the video for him say that they, all good here. All they could hear was a high pitched drilling sound. None of and dare look at the screen. The person who lord of the video, was never found the IP the ipa. Has been nonexistent and the man on the video has
He never band. I dent five. That's why throw your video recording needs? Video watch need to the and it use v, I d dot me you choose the way of the Dodo. Don't they don't know me is the way of the future. I'll bet me join today. All rights, So should we do another phone call or I think we're going around this out with one last nine: we're not playing nine hundred and eleven calls. Are we not just now? Are we not know we're not playing them anymore? I mean round table is over, that's been cancelled, it's done in we're not playing nine hundred and eleven calls anymore. I'm not even on round table anymore, no yeah yeah, alright, everyone, I'm not even on television, show right now. Theater yeah, I just put in going to the park, and I said everybody I'm in I'm in Toronto, raptors been for months now. The line this whole time. I pack a lunch. Do I pack a lunch and I go
pork over selfie fever goose. But why did you fake film in Canada, when it's just having filming here in New York? I don't know that I got bigger Phil. I got bigger around me, you know ok, I can suck my own dick, hey. Alright, let's play the nine one. One call: let's do it. This is a teenager who confessed to beating his father to death with a cane Nine hundred and eleven would reporting I'm calling to me.
Where did it happen Friday? Did you kill if you still there we're in the house? Your last name, eight, the your first, why eight and there with you my mother, I told them what happened? Well, we we've all been drinking. Eight call them that yeah at the time is right what childhood, what kind of container in the well, what what's your middle name or initial right? Your second! Ninety eight! Oh, my nineteen! Ninety eight is a seventeen year old kid here. How do you that's how you don't have time to get the full traumatic childhood? No, no, no b was almost out of there. He was almost out of that. This just proves a lesson time time again do not have children, because they
We will kill you whether by their own hand or leaving you just did come on ghost in a hospice, exactly with the terrible nurse who doesn't resuscitate you when you're having a heart attack don't drink with your kids? This is a seventeen year old. This is trying to be cool that he was abusive, dad that he tried to be cool that because the only thing you want to do is drinking pics motorcycle he's like mustard sixty. No, he can drink with me anyway and then is get killed. You have to you, don't drink with your kids, you let your kids drink in the basement with their friends right. I do you. Do you do that thing? May not care for going to drink anywhere I'll. Have you drink it in the house? Yeah I mean you. Let him do that and then you lock them in the basement right and don't let him out, even if there's no bathroom down there, never let him out no figure it out. No, I did leave their great uhhuh Uhhuh All right well very interesting, stuff, today, yeah and by the way the kid beat him to death with a cane put him in a wooden container and then partially covered it with dirt cat litter a cut up by
sickle and motor oil? Ok, that's perfect! Ok! So that's called that's called redneck compost yeah. I think that is rainbow colors as a meddlesome all and dad wow, that's great, it's like when you go to a sports bar. You get the garbage not shows their legs, put all the garbage on top and but that's like beans, and she, you said so change that to name did change the definition. The term big, daddy, Kane. Wasn't he a rapper? He was a bit of a rapid rapper would be that rapid. This is normal 'cause. It got two peas. It's like Trappist, without t about rapist, without the extra p right right right, So I'm like a former for rapist yeah I'm a convicted rapist. No that's how you
I'm really into rapping. No, I do I can wrap style. I see okay to have convictions, yeah right, yeah, right right, right right, you know different different, consist source yeah. The color is the services yeah Kareem B, buster yeah. We did it guys so put your clothes on. You discussed me out how you're naked you told me to get naked. I know I don't listen to have always stay fully clothed like this you're indoors, and no children are around it's like five seconds after watching porn after your done jerking off, and you just feel like who women who love to do that to that one that always means poor women yeah. What's wrong with me, I'm from an animal? I do is jerk and watching this fuckin' watching this rape fantasy, no sex does like this is Texas, deeply just go,
it's two serpents entwined, two souls dancing with each other yeah. Well, I'll. Tell you one thing porn will definitely give you a different use uh. Martini glass. They can do you can drink a lot of oh yeah, boo, cocky, sure. Oh you talking bout, boo, cocky know that sounds like a nice flower that you might buy for your on time, not into boo cocky. You, like boo, cocky, I like. Well we're not going to talk about it here. Well, it seems I think that is a definitely confirmation that you like that. You know. I don't like boo cocky, oh weird, because that now that he said that would like a smile on your face like you were lying because we caught him in a very deep truths, saying he likes boo, cocky, no everybody likes boo cocky, I don't. They have nine million views on the videos yeah a lot of people do yeah, so that will just watch it, and it's also it's group fuqing, so groups of dudes watch it too. No, but I don't know I like to watch nothing but women female boo cocky the the score that's one to win. There's there's! I have you seen the one with a girl by the pool. This call sprinkler party, as it was good for your lawn, I like that
ones where that, where the I like to watch the porn videos where the woman becomes president, I do too I like to watch the boo cocky with a japanese woman is trying to read the news that kind of funny yeah. I want with the Japanese, with the with the blurred out Dixon the blurred out pussies. I just pretend like there's two Sasquatch is and I go in at it. There really is a dick for a Sasquatch, an issue. I push the first gas washing put the yeti in put the yeti in the bigfoot. You discussed me alright. Well, Thank you guys so much for listening It's so nice day I have Henry back and I hope you had a good vacation markets in New Mexico. It was weird it was a real, weird time, no way he's gotTA, Roswell NM shirt on right now, which is awesome, got a good alien on a good haunting eyes. Whitley Strieber right now would be rock hard. Looking at that, thank you very much. I was able I got this at the UN research center in Roswell, New Mexico? I was able to get a copy of the majestic
love report written and signed by Stanton T Friedman. Did he write another thing just like our lives, so much further trip to the grocery store? Right and again he was with his phone sorry going now, but no, but I did talk to the cashier, the cashier. She was a wonderful middle aged southwestern woman, and I said, oh, my god. I can't believe you guys had this signed by standing Freeman. She goes, you know what a lot of people think he stodgy, but I think he's just a sweetheart. She fucks him. He must have banged him out. That is exactly what happened. Who just lie low mister scientist man looks like I'll. Take you on a trip to the
grocery store, and I mean the orgasm store come here. Viewed: sweet native american woman that you know that I am a nuclear physicist. I am a lecture on nuclear fission or a series of documents that I hope that was a quicker than normal. Yes, we're going to get into the politics of New Mexico on top at this week. Ok, wait to hear about it,
the books that mark is brought with them: Billy the kid serial killer. Absolute truth: this is self published by get him Dave. Girl is not a bush by Master Psychic Dave, Ghar KI, who spoke beyond the grave to Billy the kid Pat Garrett and Governor Wallace, who was the governor of New Mexico at the time, but this is a tip to anybody out there. If you reading a paranormal book in it's, not self published you're reading a shills book self publish it means that it was too, but in real real yeah. I got a couple of self publishes, not poorly written. It's very well written here. That would be difficult to read. That's for sure, but it's the truth. It's easy to hear nice. I think not the occult connection UFO secret societies in ancient God, yeah that would split, yeah, also self published and, of course, the dictionary of demons. So you came back with some great books from New Mexico, wonderful books for New Mexico. I bought a horse tail mean,
no, because you were talking about how it's like your stressed out to hang with your family, but I just feel like they were norm. They were stressed out to hang out with you. You were just by like demotic books and tales. They really don't enjoy. Hearing me speak right. That's the Probably let you let your date treat you like. They treat their horses, no like Let him run run run run that field almost don't want to come back. Don't say that more like a dog uh. Well, thank you guys. So much for listening, hail yourselves. Hail Satan again. Remember everywhere. If you are satanist, you are the ones to teach people, the truth this is like anybody who believes in even in one lie, if you believe in online wholeheartedly you're living an entire fake life, all right, but I would say, don't bring up. War crimes from their cultures path. I would say the opposite always bring up war crimes in their path. Just depends on the interaction you want to have them look who's. This message is coming from Mister Castle. You are alone in the world Henry or should we say
kiss her kiss her from Uno. He put it. No, don't worry, I'm not from Germany. I live in Uruguay, alright, very, very fun stuff. I love in a busy college. Stefans points work in a box factory and I ship supplies for propeller companies yeah. Well, I'm happy. You guys are using your comedic sensibilities for good Ohio gain everyone and everyone who ordered a new heart, Tiesha to being this week. We finally got all pre orders in there going to be ordered this week and will be shipped out next week. I thank everyone for being patient on those yes and go to last. Go to Cape Company radio, dot com, slash last podcast and left to order either. The classic logo, T shirt or the new satanic heart.
We appreciate everybody, those ordered one. So far, it's awesome. Thank you guys. So much for all the encouraging things on the Facebook page on Itunes make sure to go and rate review was on that. Thanks for supporting the shows that we do here and see see. Are we really appreciate any, and so it really means a lot. This is all that we have personally. This is it, but it's not all that we have. We have a very limited. We have an amazing thing, yeah good all to have, but if the trip to New Mexico has taught me anything yes, this is our thing. This is it so just be. If you could give it a five star review. Happy really great, I can read, don't break down yeah. I just and nobody notices four starship yeah. You know who stellations we haven't said a Magoo Stellations in awhile, so deny everyone out there I'll deny remember Amber an you know what a pile mean, because you know what I'm that's great! That's right, do you feel good now.
Do you really feel great or do usually when they say I'm great at first off of Maine? Ok, do you know? I'm great Satan more shows like the one you just listen to go to comedy radio dot com.
Transcript generated on 2019-11-18.