« Last Podcast On The Left

Episode 228: Sexy Ghosts

2016-06-16 | 🔗

It's the world of sex ghosts this week on Last Podcast as we tell tales such as "Pattie's Backyard", "The Heavy Breather of Heathrow", "Archibald's Orgy In Hell", and, last but not least, "The Urinating Goblin".

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
There's no place to escape tourism is the last time on the level of cannibalism started all right, let's centre our are recording Marcus Centre on centre. Can we say together several together, men know you ruin that centre, our ok HU. I am a shit. I did almost share all right. I think we're senator men while got Ricky. I wouldn't I'm fine. I can get through the podcast but Moreover, I welcome to those. However, ever what I am bent Gazelle. That's Marcus Parks. We got here.
Over here who just had an incident, so I literally my but a whole when, like like open just a millimeter too much and then, like literally Doktor Brown, was as like, I M ready to go to the park. That's what I call that's what I do. I have an ongoing intermodal logwood yeah shit. Why loved you gave your stool a phd happy that he's a doctor. I don't wanna, go see him, but he's been through enough. Yes, that is right. My good well, it started off sexually. This whole episode at it. Just gonna get sexier sexier, because today we are discussing a sexy go now we did an episode inspector filling a long time ago, the many many moons and not to be too indian about it. But many many many raccoon moons ago we went and we did it episode about Spectre failure which is kind of the idea of people. Believing have sexual relationships with goes on and there are certain ancient cultures that do believe they do marriage ceremony with ghosts, and then we do the color there. The old one episode that woman and with those who was making orgasm noises because she was having sex with agenda that was
serious radio pilot. We had a call in and she was discussing, having sex with a ghost. I believe absolute half full time so well with just so happens happen. So Marcus got a book called the present. Ghost and other sexual haunting alight opera. Sure. If we were gonna have a conversation about pregnant goes, he would be the Bible, and this would be about Mary. No, no, no, not that recycling better feeling that asphyxiated all of this is very all eyes are real story. All these supposedly real stories of sexual encounters that people had with ghosts and alighted at our is pretty Well, it's not necessarily sexual encounters. The people have had with goes its more encounters. People have had with sexual sexual
goes. Perverted goes Raby guy Disgusting, don't you out of your? They are absolutely discuss icy somewhere between european fund. We are all trying to play. I do desperately want to meet a ghost, which I think we can all agree. Proves that mean that will never meta goes, but how sad? I will meet scary ghost and, if I met sexy, goes turbulent, go get your brother, whose scary secure, but I'm ready to do it, and so at U S images. I want you ever let it go to that. You take the ghost you get yeah right. It's like your hair, color tat S, rear child I've back here I was bored backers it as a boy I need just take you take what you receive you We are in full on Delhi. Guy close today I have a life better on, because I have assured us that I cannot sweat through before the before the meeting I have after this body. Will you know we just sit down to record the show. I orginality enemy, I am gripped from tell this up. My body is tight, just so just think about us. We say okay, so busy really the first time they think we're really trying to me around.
I don't really like my point of this, shows I'm hoping you news and if you're sitting with your lover, I hope you fuckin oiled hammer her up. So deep sit with your lover: get a lover by a woman. By a woman purchase a man, s command, you can you do actually don't have the ever purchased domain? Just go! Ask a man he's going to do show up at the house, you'll issued by youth, literally guilt to shorten the house will take care of things in the house who put up light bulbs if you make him do who glue down title good for you, so it's like first multi couple palm falls well oiled and rob him all of your man's bodies, whose hair Gazelle mad it and make a bunch of like make a shamrock in his hair, and you put all the will it get oil just on your breasts gives you are ruined or a your clothes before we start, and just I hope that these tales gets you rich enough or sopping enough in order to just get on top of.
Person that you choose and also juices you write to mix we'd ham envelopes with I'm a little Marvin Gaye. If you do get pregnant during this sexual ceremony, you're about to go on, you have to name at one of our names. One of our name have an Earl Orient Duncan trustful Russell Muscle, formerly only five names. You can name that child and I just made em up actually murdoch- is in a bad name and exits arrogant. I lowered yelling murder, ok living on Murdoch Park, City Murdoch's Kizil sounds like a guy with ripped off sleeves, always even if we were assured that morning with sleeves Doc, what did you do? You're between the planter again didn't mean to kill her jewels Mon, the Murdoch's, a great kid of murder? so in the year of our Lord nineteen, six
yeah yeah, Patty Morgan moved into a two story: fixer Upper and Wellington, New Zealand. The house, however, was not found its charm, as there was still in our house in the back yard that Paddy decided to turn into a garden shed to go along with the garden. She was planning the plant. Hence the name of his story: patties backyard what we are seeing. This old New Zealand Stag held not even baggy, oh yeah, what my favorites, but soon after Patty, converted the outhouse into a shed. She was awoke in one night by rummaging in her back yard thinking. The local dogs were pilfering, her garbage Patty, open the window and yelled out hoping to scare the dogs away, but what she saw was not a pack of dogs but rather filled the old man with his pants around it ankles and when Patty yelled out the old man hiked up his trousers and scurried away.
Later, that a thorough as if it had lain said, say or already K day every day light, and why did you run away? I was you that saddled woman, so over the coming weeks, the old man returned night after night I'll, be it better behaved this time here get it his behaviour to just taken through paddies trash each night and Patty soft hearted woman. She was felt a little bad for the old man, just kind of left him to his devices. Yes, this is a good technique. Start showed them at your worst publicly masturbated, and then, whenever you're, not you're, doing great and technically he's doing something. Nice he's your rummaging through retract, you put things together is trying to be nice. You don't like me clear things up. I aggression always. Is there not a term in New Zealand for sex called rummaging through her track? I think that that
social and medical term they really rummaged retraction. That's it! I can't sit on a stool ma. Am I gonna go to the drinking competition right, but just like you don't give a mouse a cookie. The homeless man soon overstepped bounds before along the old man, started sleeping in patties backyard, each night and ass is the natural conclusion when an old man starts sleeping in your backyard, Patty looked out her window one night to find the old man the recently masturbating now I've I've, never read a given. Also cookie you, never want to read them as it end with the mouth jerking off all over the can. It ends with everyone learning an important lesson and say if you give em ass a cookie he's gonna ask for a glass of milk. I love giving mice cookies. I was reading a mouse in my apartment for months,
when this does sound like a seeker coda get into like a gay nightclub. Also question is give a mouse cookie today kill all the mice at the end of the other book as well like as there are no extermination of these my diabetes or something. I think a moose shows up at one point delight give me a good and so after Patty saw the old man vigorously masturbating. She called over boyfriend Gregg, but by that I'm Gregg arrived. The old man was nowhere to be seen and Patty. Finally, deciding that enough is enough. She built a six foot tall fence. The very next day and padlocked it from the inside and the way to make an old man Rufus you cover with hard candies whenever you ve, really he'll just take the hard candies instead of climbing the facts as a good idea, but LO and behold old man returned the next night, now fully aware of patties presence as
stared at the house, with a silly grin on his face masturbating, just as if not more vigorously them. Before you saw the look on that houses phase it wanted Gregg once again was called over and once again the old man disappeared without trace a UK wigwam voting. Take us out always do that. You know I like your motive like an emerald man, I've been ready. He heard me, you know that's my dream. You know some a bucket list, but is this just something you want No really, I know Gregg worried me, listen, I'm! When I'm trying to be open your desires, we got that kick stand dildo the other day we got the sex, trampoline I am doubtful just started the mood anymore. I just I just out of the moon anymore. Anybody put it all the way to put my fears over, because you mean you're Gulf, which now It was somewhat sceptical about the whole situation. He stalked e staked out the back yard. Ex night from a second for with a camera.
I got to get photographic evident. I gotta see this swiftly Tom Hanks in the birds, but when the old man appeared to Patty, who was watching from the first floor, Gregg saw nothing from his vantage point and was understandably baffled at the whole city. Nation and although the backyard was indeed the nightly masturbating grounds of a deranged old bum, there was still the matter of the garden to attend to so Gregg and Patty took a trip to the local garden centre. One Saturday, while there they struck up a conversation with the owner and upon hearing patties address the old man chuckled a bit and told her. It was a good jobs and lived there six months ago, as the previous strangely enough, also named Patty two three and five women in New Zealand or name path. That is a good point. It said that this patty she had had quite a bit of trouble from her next door. Neighbor, a dirty old man,
The penchant for garbage who, seeing the look of unease on patties, face the shopkeeper, told her not to worry, as the dirty old sod had died of a heart attack six month earlier, playing with himself and paddies back yard and if you ever wanted to know, what's gonna be Marcus's future ahead. Dirty old man rummaging through trash jerk off near our used to exist, it seems heck, they say, but he died doing. What love he really really did. Maybe a woman. They would have been nice if you was actually no. No, no that's what he loved. Think about how you don't know. You were only means rash. Rationally, don't worry about compromises of a relationship at all. You need to spend all day do an exact. Would you love going through stinky old trash jerk off on top flowers, just living like a girl with hands. Yes, the next story is called the brothel for ghosts. Inspector up, tell about how you, if you are going into this place, and you pay like thirty Bucks- Andrews, walk into an empty room yet feel like an asshole.
How did you know you're just noises pumped in Abraham, Lincoln came to first stood em right. I walked into a scam gee up up till about a hundred years ago, as has existed in Edinburgh, Scotland, where people would watch night after night through the windows as ghosts fucked inside the house eventually came to be known to the people of not one as the ghost or how does I only got televisions three years ago? That's right. So this is how they use entertain themselves say I see it as you see the shadow, their Japan and even if it gets thicken, the ads are due to be, if you squint your eyes So you can see anything. You want itself had been owned by a major Thomas, we're way back in the mid. Sixteen hundreds he
shared this dwelling with his older sister grizzled or even just unfortunate and well there, possibly gristle. One of you either way too great a beautiful name. Uncle John Kennedy had to finish in the great outdoor. That's all I know. Well there were rumours of salacious incestuous behaviour. For years it was not confirmed until the major aged sixteen, I confess to the foul deed, in addition to making several packs what the devil and engaging in sexual Congress with the dad gristle joined her brother confessions, claiming that she was able to spin yarn of any quantity for short bursts of time due to her own personal pact, with the devil. That's it yet. I'm a good fucking spider man at Joanne Fabrics, yes, bad job out of all the things is to sell your soul for years,
yarn Chad All of this power was said to come from the major step, which was a personal gift from Satan that so did all their shopping for them worth saying in all this sacred allowing themselves to be unemployed. What today is just fresh direct Satan's, not that he's that he doesn't do all of the shopping. The magical staff. Does the shopping like us, not beauty in the peace, all sorts of new third candle lottery and without going to candles to giving carry, can't get you a turkey from the store? Now it's a magical stab he bounces out. He gets the! Maybe he talks to me. They delivered to the house. We ve lost all imagination, Catalina yeah! You guys need to take a little trip in the years, your own brain, so these two, where of course executed but Gretel sticking to her saucy ways refuse to be hang with our close yeah and the hangman
who had already fastened the news tightly around nag. Our was kind of struggling with their like a fish on aligns names gradual for our make slippery eventually hangman just got sick of struggling with her in just kick turn off the ladder where she was standing without allowing her the common courtesy of last words or a car, her last words. Essentially, she had written them down the diary before and it said I met a meet God, I'm an affordable bulk it in front of a whole, though the exact location is lost to the ages. It is said that for decades in centuries after the captain's house was fucked central for all the ghosts inspectors of Scotland until it was finally demolished at the request of the authorities, might well that's a great story to bear me. That's what that's the closest thing,
do a studio. Fifty four upon little play. It was kind of a studio fifty year for Ngos. I guess there was probably just a bunch of homeless people jerking off in there and then the authorities towards yes, but think about it. How the Rockets, those halls would have been with music mirth o verges under second just the old man from the patties back yard and cookies are their jerk and all the talking mere who is, like you all, a great to me, a rhyme Lincoln, whose prematurely coming everywhere. Why not? Just every time he sees a man servant homosexual possible next story is called the ghost of this its crazed cat. I just this is put a lot on the cat you I know it me I'll wait till you hear about this. Cat was born fuckin, horny cat remnant, patchwork horny for US
told this story comes from Mister Edward Main, all a well known, nineteenth century collector of ghost stories who swore up and down again and again that this story at her and to a friend of is, and not to him, specifically here so one night Edward came home to find a mysterious cat waiting for him. At the top of his. He's already cut out like it's already he's painting the cat is a fit. Some want to fuck em right we saw you just saw cat in a house is like cats trying to fuck it possible really terrible and a pet shop turtle was the cat appearing to be just suddenly at first soon began mating with Edward Shoes and tried over and over again to climb up Edwards legs
towards his genital again, if you have a care right now to do a bit of a call back, if you have a cat right now, two men are what it does matter, how it presents itself. Men are what it looks like it saying to you with its body language, never fuck! You can never do not fought the cat know. There was a kid. My hometown, Roger use special needs used to have sex with all the cats and thrown in the park. Not Rome and the river boy drew maneuvers embark. I asked in River dilatory orchestra village, I'm you'll be voting this year the identity will be Edward Swatting, the cat away and shaking it free escaped to his room and shut out the cat with great difficulty dried. The cat tried following him side, but eventually he managed to keep it down. Thing: outsize cats crave Dick, oh yeah, but the next day the cat was waiting for Edward at the top of the stairs. Once again, humping rubbing and attempting to climb Ed's leg,
up to his general. I don't care of your sitting with a full erect penis alone neuron, because you Mazur important cat comes in literally tries to put his but call on the top of your. Failure to remove that. Do not fall well, you can ever actually wants it. He doesn't want to it'll, kill the care. It's got. A fucking you're gonna, be organ to cast you're gonna fuck it up and pull intestines out with your cock right. So don't fuck! The can explain that to the door. Durham and you'll go to jail so on the third day at no doubt, girding himself for another unpleasant encounter found no cat waiting for thinking his sexy cat troubles were over and went to sleep easy, but the troubles were only beginning as Ed awoke in the middle of the night to find the left side of his body covered in blood. With the cat who had punctured s neck with its sharp teeth, Sitting on the bed staring at him and Ed swatted, the cat to the floor and the cat apparently satisfied with a job well done,
finished into the night, forever: spitting Carson, blasphemies towards add, as he departed theirs sexual harassment I mean appear the cat you're just constantly getting sexually assaulted. By this man I mean that you gotta, kill you right away. You blame you blaming the bank to get a bit Belgium Blaine Year, but I wouldn't blame you. I don't blame you have my cat. Does it understand what sex is with a man is understand what a man can do? In fact, this is a cat. They can spit Curzon blasphemies the tat know if I can, if attack and say FUCK God a keg king for command employees, hoping tat. I like to come- and I like to tease like I born every hour, and I make it go up. Oh let the penis goddamn, I'm always a tease. I never get it up. That is why my name is,
cod de Perry, your tat, we re using, never show all markets. Dispassionate is evident back at the heart of a fire where your firewall, so our next story is called Mark II and the radiant boy, gotta go down quickly. A radiant boys are apparently not an uncommon occurrence in the world of phantoms, inspect originally named kinda mouldering by the Germans, radiant boys are said to be ghosts of children under twelve who were murdered by
their mother, I thought radiant boys were altered. Voices serve to the Vatican underneath a black like. Oh, yes, this radiant boy citing occurred in the late seventeen hundreds witnessed by a one captain Stuart later these second mark. He of London dare who gives a share marquis. It's very big deal yeah, it's a very big deal there, all fake, there's one thing we're in our problems within Europe. I dont believe entitles. I dont believe in Archduke. Who give would you believe in tight? I don't believe it I'll do that anymore. I alders at arch, there Isn T a fan of the shed light there. There are important principle and the applicant particularly our rights, their inbred, the
these royalty. If I see a bitter royalty on pants- and am I show emperor, I no clues all the urine they're getting I earned maiden, I'm not gonna, go save you from the dungeon hell that you put yourself a were going to any well, I am busy being king, I marrying queen, but I do refused to believe in any sort of antiquities. Fucking men are key So we try to hold me in your presence. In London so the captain out on a hunting trip in Ireland was forest one dark and stormy night to take refuge in a local stately manner, but unfortunately for the cat in quite a few, other travellers had come upon the same idea and all the rooms had been filled, but one which strangely enough, was completely free of any furniture whatsoever and the captain, not a particularly fussy. Man, to his credit, took the room and slept on a pile of blankets on the floor, but in the middle of the night
he was awoken by the radiant figure of a beautiful naked boy who gave him his solemn look before fading into dark? Sorry you care fuck me and now it is it's more of a ghost than a boy. A term view I don't know. I'm always said I mean you know that is a book. Actually is a book yeah! Ok, we're going to follow the author here in Europe, too. Carlin waters Arthur yes, he was upon the definitely said view, If we make it boy asked Mister Collins Opus, I would say like beautiful coal stout. Naked boy who gets what I would call myself look in the mirror, definitely not attracted to naked boy, just naked boy ratified, which he had closed naked boy, christian roots, that boy just words there boy had closer Moscow say it the next morning the captain
sure that some sort of bizarre prank had been pulled on, and you know- and this is the ominous avis again to anybody in the audience who has a boy that they can use it. In a frank, DR, never do now men clever with any prank show up you. Can you imagine it was a break your view we go to that later on this we will go to Atlantic coming to their early ass. We really could shall come on. You go to the hotel. It you're going to stay in right right, show up with a naked boy. Put it in the bedroom. Thinking about your pictures of you rise is due to take it boy that really you guys got right. Will you could do it with with the mirror trick you could make it look like he was sort of ghost. Like gag with few or no lie renewed boy. Do it not just pay them and that that painter they hadn't Batman? It boil I like light and then, if you don't do it haven't possess, because that's what it's having possession of a boy we
we don't have an you. Just do three plus your menu be all drunken shit, no problem you or do anything bad you'll have a milk Kay, Can you buy us? Some beers, like you say, you're, like uncle IE, to suffer the captain. He was a bit perturb. Ye did not ratio the beautiful naked boy. He spoke with the host in demand why did a naked boy appear in my room and in the middle of the night last night I gotta say of naked boy, does appear in Europe ever greater word, those he can his head servant Hamilton into the room and asked him exactly. Where did captain Stewart sleep last night, her whatever the boy rumours requested actually Hamilton, did say that as every room was full, he spent the night in the book
is Rome. We was the name they had given specifically to that room and that's the reason why I didn't have any furniture is because that was the boys room and you don't know what people in the boys room. I don't I'm boys like furniture, but I guess You're, a ghost you don't need to relax. You're lying bar support doesn't really matter yet. I was a thirteen year old boy and no one should have one in that No, I don't think I do it because labour take horrible things. I don't even want to think about it well in hand tens divisions. He said and there's no reason to worry. I built a large fire to keep the radiant boy away, because apparently radium boys, don't like really big fire sugar. The rooms already radiant enough, but the captain, fearing the fire was so large that it might burn down. The whole manner had dampened it quite a bit before going to sleep, allowing the radiant boy to pierce the veil of reality and appear before the kept. So they solve the go.
The boy problem by starting a fire in the deeds ruby? Basically, a lot of problems tat are going to fire goes out. There was a fire place. It's like, I saw a cockroach, so I bought a gun right when I shot my my bed summaries, but unfortunately, for the captain, all those who witnessed this particular radiant boy were destined to rise to the highest. Of power and at the climax of the rain invariably would die a violent death hope you, like being promoted. Sorry, you're gonna get ripped to pieces by dogs night night, I'm non nude boy. What was that less per you'd know now and no worry, but there has been great see my penis yearned criminal. I I'm a new born. I think you said I was gonna, get promoted as great all worth it true to form the gap in
Who eventually went on to become a great statesman and his native English he held quite a few high ranking cabinet positions did indeed but die violently by cutting his own throat in eighteen. Twenty two core cool. I liked me that's actually one of the cruellest way a dummy never commit suicide, but that you are right to say that is the cool heads rate. It got a bad ass good for him. I mean he saw a true wars, so I can ever erase the image. My favorite wars, horror, should be sought. Just nude boy yeah, you get lower o a glowing. Nude boy who looked at him solemnly yeah sure you're gonna die tonight, I'm a nude boy. Do I make it moved, because if I do you gotta go jail, knew what about their promotion. Tell me more about that. It raises
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Ellen tying the valet, although the reasons are unknown Valentine with said to haunt of four poster antique bed that was imported from England to Beverly Hills in nineteen. Forty seven again angle have a problem. You two floored beds, don't really understand why they gotta have all oppose, seems really difficult. Lack. My head on I've dive slept the one before package where my head into the post, it's for posts, but it got big sticks at the sides of the bat. Or will I like those that, while you get up in the morning and help you fall asleep at night, when used slowly grab criminal law, down drug to. Do I, like a woman, that's hard on the exterior yeah. Now the first citing involved a woman named. Marion Donovan who one night, whilst her husband was out,
on business was woken up by the parks and growls of her dog. When she opened her eyes, a slim man, dressed in green velvet, stood in front of her. He began to take office clothes in once completely naked moved over to the chair were Marian had left her clothes before getting into bed. Don't sit on, don't sit on them. Oh you gonna go! Oh you left the snails trail, oh, that ball juice, I hate it when men set actually back then like it's like he's, got a chocolate duster back. There having everything into streaks is disgusting least, you know where I been now. I lived with a woman that used to yell at me. If I sat on the comforter naked rightfully so it's disgusting my men shouldn't sit nude on any now is Marian. Looked on the man Sensuous Lee began, putting on first her silky slip.
Followed by her bra nylons, which he also sinuously rubbed up and down his legs before slipping them on the man then examined him. So from the mirror, nodded and approve alike and began to joyously parade himself around the room as if he not a care in the world, indeed dancing as if no one was watching. This is exactly what her Della Jolla. Did you remember right there? Maybe he's a goes about whether you can never punch him in the ring and after a suitable amount of parading, the man took off. Marion's clothes in putting own back on adding a large feathered hat to his ensemble marking him as an eighteenth century valet. He then walked toward the bed disrobing once again and started to get into the bed with Marian.
But Marian now, understandably pretty freaked out now she's freaked out I was he was frozen in fear up to this point. She jumped up and turned on the Lloyd's only to find the bed was now empty, but the evidence remained as the clothes that had once been neatly. Folded on a nearby chair now lay in a pile on the floor and the exact same spot, which she had witnessed, the valet undress, and although she was shaken area was intrigue by the experience and when the next night came and Valentine, the valet reappeared Marian the scene play out to its conclusion, but is the man laid down on the bed? He immediately disappeared once again, I think Marian quite enjoyed the show Marian was actually the cheap, but she loved Valentine the valet. She told her friends about it right. He actually had her sisters, sleep there like you, ve gotta, Meet Valley,
I see, valentine eggs will mean, doesn't valley parked cars back in the value of your belly like us who feel there's like a term for us who feel it's like a thing these bachelor. Isa is kind of like a valet. I guess what exactly you are this here hangs out and got big Floppy had on a fancy lad. Wing we're out here is where in green velvet and a big feather, hangs out with old Ladys, pretty much it's the guy who think he's the bachelor the court he as the years of all the males of Lady Danner Liese grew. I've been rise, homosexuals on J, I hear he's not arise, just like he's dip in a week every and all the inkwell could be on hand. Now you know no with valet's there's slippery bunch of lock your wife. Oh, I would never training only also fuck, you, oh your wife or real life. Much
time. Ballet is well, they are and they cannot be trusted while they don't own those cars are driving. They think they pretend like. We do, though, of various uller we're about what our next story Some are fairly unlikely place Heathrow Airport in London over the years. Many a female flight attendant, particularly those showing a bit of cleavage, have reported the Disan bodied sound of heavy sexual breathing following them throughout the airport, while the victims the heavy breather of Heathrow, as he has come to be known, have indeed been overwhelmingly female one man an engineer encountered the Spirit as he was enjoying a restful break in the employ through an offer us restful. My better wouldn't bet it was filled with effort. The engineer sat patiently on the toilet. He was suddenly hit
with the sensation that he wasn't alone and that there seemed to be a presence in the stall next to the next five minutes. The engineer Listen as the breathing became louder and help here, and tell you finally flight from the scene in jail, reassuring gravity. A paper over then am I got his weary Craig Are you a senator deep got alike? There lay their eggs, and, although the engineer maintain that he was not a victim of the heavy brow. Their of Heathrow. He now Nevertheless, the less refused to enter even the building containing a haunted toilet in question. Ever again, that is not
the heavy breeders of Cleveland with most of the population level await probable. I dont think this guy's a victim of anything. You don't think so. He says that there's a guy in the stall next autumn, heavily breathing because he was trying to get at the mass of size but there are a lot of big fat people in England because they view that is being rich, isn't true. They believe that wealthy, in your more Riah, absent Ivanovitch change over the eyes of paintings of men in England and are very important, are we building a fat? And so this is a big man? Is we're not cross from our nooks, but where so many routes nylons brought you here the fucking Lowly subway workers, so he couldn t understand that's how aristocrats Bree that British, where scarecrow close through a fuller, ropes and random twig. Just yet deceives lots of girders an invoice. Yes, I mean the strangest thing was they would let their women get so big and there would be so proud of them.
Then it would take them all the women or lie the women are alive and sweet. It's the men that look like t kettles my wishes. We should fight a war and separate from them yeah yeah, don't like an artisanal without reference patient and that's all I remember from his altogether say I like no one of our most link tales today comes from the marshes of Southern England, that of murder of Romney more a lot of tales from England and end nl. The european tales in sexual nature lot of sexual hauntings guano, going on over in England, Ireland, no Scott, like I'm, going to get there in July. We don't know we're gonna, be there in October October and if you guys want to get tickets, gotta, gigs and tourists dot com search. Last Pakistan left. We actually just opened up ten more tickets for mantra, do we sold it out, but we open up ten more tickets, so get those. Now we also opened up ten more tickets, our first one.
Joe, but sales are now available for our second London show and our first Glasgow, Scotland, show greater plug repel. What we are, I think, is a very interesting mic is very interesting difference between the way we view ghosts and the way the Europeans you goes. I think, because they have much more in touch with their much more in touch with their seven much older Hawaii, but it seems to have much more saucy experience with what is technically entities from other site. I'm only began to say goes anymore. I'm actually taken go said of my lexicon has now it's all just entities that are that we have yet to understand. I'm holding this is where your drawing a political correctness lie. Nude. I will draw a line in the sand. Oh I don T call them goes. I just think the reported there there another intelligence right that we are, we meet in some way or another, so we will be in the difference between the dimensions, we're meeting on two things.
Jerk off at us here. The thing is, I repeat, a miracle we just we take it more seriously. Now I think what happens in America the Brits the people in the UK there kind to their ghosts, they light fires for the beautiful naked. Boy in America were like a ghost. You want to fight me. My third New Jersey, friends come on I'll, go very mean to you. I don't know how to talk to the ghost exactly and become comes from a chaotic tradition is well worth they used to bury There can be used to live in dirt huts and Harpooner Winner L ancestors die when the grandparents is dying.
These two barium in the living room. I rose to just eat food on top of grandpa. All time, like my grandmother did more broadly with my grandfather. Haven't him in the Fucking Shoe Box on the chair next to her that, just because she was mentally ill David, we just worn touch with their with their history can find a middle ground there, yeah and speaking of intelligences. Let's go for the moon or of Romney minus the first citing came in eighteen, o one when a group of smugglers meeting their contact in the march to sell their ill gotten gains were approached out of the darkness by a mysterious figure. He wore a try corner hat and dressed, quoting quote in the manner of a game keeper which the smugglers thought odd, but nevertheless they followed him into the marsh thinking. He was most likely. Their content there, Boris Rock Dish way you follow my hands off right, despite come with me, come here bar spite this way, but when the man stopped short the smug shown their light on him to get a good look
just when the man in the Tri Corner had pulled down his pants to his ankles and bent over the erection of the smugglers before he disappeared, hence the moon or of wait. You write those laid down by the prints from breakfast. We can't you see my run right. We're continuity is Merom fight against my God. I've got to write gentlemen. I go back to Hell. I saw I saw the whole. That's all you did on the planet, earth so eager to right. This way, might have years out of me up now, look at my boss but after life, just like that, it's all after life is the movie porky. We have a good after life living.
The eighties comedy their mothers Spectre wasn't cited, or at least not reported for another seven years, is when the moon or a came back with a vengeance, and each time travellers would were port. A man in a try corner had dressed in the manner of a gamekeeper pull down his pants and bend over correction of the witness before vanishing into thin or your vacation. Look over the tall assassination monopoly, although they are not. Oh, no, don't you guys we're gonna be out my boss, disgusting and the motors rain, which was relatively short, barreaux hunting. Only thirty three years, a period of time
that one might say, is roughly equal to the life span of an adult male, but after dozens of sightings, the moon or vanished in eighteen. Thirty, four! Never to be seen again in all your welfare to thirty three Jesus Christ, loud man, if only he was real, people rely Maxine. I just mentioned the ghosts Hunter that wants to find the moon Ernie Sesar, Ontario Good, don't goals, stoppin, arched Upham, but this way you I personally taken up- and here s my butt
I'm gonna put her day and he just sorts forget that goes right, so that in future, when three Edison, that's how you killed a ghost. Let's go back to Glasgow for our next story over in Scotland and seventeen hundreds Glasgow was home door. Glasgow glass go go get Glasgow Glasgow, glad ass, we are going to eighty. I just remind you at any rate, saying class. We literally need to figure out to say all of these places before we go Glasgow, if Glad Gazette Glass gaol go. I think they are glad you guys go. They gave me too. I asked- and I forgot so in the seventeen hundreds Glasgow was home to a group of sexual perverts, known as the Hell Club not to be confused with England, Hellfire Clubs,
fortunately, a harrier louder scream your version and the Hellfire club and lace and bogs at every evening. The hell club would meet for an unbridled orgy of passion, debauchery and blasphemy everybody's got. Again, there is not, as is not apparent, was worn, so many skirts, the men and women and wasn't pan sexual. It was another type of justice deeply for sexual. Back the leader, a man known only as Archibald was known by a catchphrase he loved to shout, id orgy. Oh two Fuckin hill. What we did not get here, I will If we want to help, I want to fuck it hell, you want, you want to have a good meal. Oh oh, it's got, but why
One might think that this is a weird and annoying thing to do. It made him among the most popular fuck toys and all of glascock as us, CS man and gloves goes the man who is, let us agree with in any way, while the day to day orgies were indeed debaucheries, they didn't get truly, do pray and saw the annual celebration of Saturnalia a holiday that you may know better as Christmas making this unofficially the annual Christmas orgy or the surprise Ski house through the Christmas orgy, the lube is made by guilt. I like that. I want to go to your house for Christmas. Doing one particularly savage Christmas orgy Archie, he of Fuckin Health aim failed to show up to the day after orgy, at the hell cloth opposing that sound,
I can't come without that man screaming for me and my wife, something missing instead sent a written note resigning from his post, giving no explanation for his sudden change of heart. But when that explanation came, Archie had quite a story to tell, while riding home his horse after the Christmas orgy, Archie, no doubt exhausted cause. They are not in good shape, as a people they're doing that. Even the Kabir talks with the talks in the biggest like none of them work shaped and drinking beer and lift and heavy things that strong, but they have no statement been great lives. Archie was approached by a ghostly apparition dressed in black. The apparition told Archibald that, since he had so so many times very loudly expressed his desire to court unquote, fucking hell. It was about time that that desire was fulfilled, all an act that mom
Archie was thrown from his coat to the ground where he immediately lost consciousness. Archie Spirit left his body completely in the apparition beckoned him too. Oh, when Archie asked where they were going, the apparition, currently said all win the finally arrived Archie was surprised to see no fire and smell no brimstone. What he found instead was the largest most drunken most. Braved orgy he had ever seen and walks through the rising naked bodies. Presumably looking, his in rural or those of our state radically new. So why are you now? I call out ever somewhat gothic right now, all of our air, but as he was looking through, it Archie recognised a deceased friend of his from the hell Clodagh, but the woman named MRS De while she was broken. She was doing so joyously with a man.
Looked her archie as if he was pushing aid. He was having the time of his life. He was having a good time where she picked the wrong guy, but I dont think that she picked the wrong guy. I think the wrong guy picked her in Archie asked her to take a rest, from her car population. So they can catch up a little grey. Give rise to doubts about a damp got. Chips are evolving names, all sorts of anger, aberrant, an orgy, never eat the dim, never know em and I've got a whole soup. Tureen super their aim. For some reason, the soup is getting fuller and fuller and the ball. I have no idea. What's filleted, know a man about an orgy. I throw some ranch concentrating. Why not joining in this smell like Ranch, India, as did the live a little so Archie Astor, listen, take a rest for just a second but MRS De cried rest rest.
There's no rest in an We are aware that he was indeed in Hell, looked around the very young in the thrall of the various allow fuck. Men and women having sex with animals and animals having sex. With men and women and hard core obedience in that nobody seemed to enjoy issues, know what I mean when I said I was talking to respond with every, but I got positive validation prescribed. I fuckin how they may everybody FUCK Ardor Toy House killer was the there. The toy bogs dealer was there in the UK. Was there the apparition turned Archie and said now, who is your chance? Pick your pleasure and fuck? How, in Archie now seriously. Rethinking is catchphrase, begs the apparition to take him back You got a Sunday regard
I did super, they were, the devil always does who wait? I've got the thing or ask what we like you very much wanting. Ironically, spawn, members rose up, but we know that this is an o Henry story. I mean, I think, if we really wanted to screw over the devil start having sex an old guy you're gonna day, apparently, a blueprint Aachen, unlike anything after orgy begged the operation, to take it The apparition replied very well, but area on your revelling anew shall return within a year and a day and with that Archie awoke climbed back in his coach rode home and wrote his letter of resignation and me lemme surprise. It was so formal. The advocate Christmas Carol, written by a sexual pervert, but after telling a story to the Hell Club, who understandably made fun of em Archie gave in to peer.
Pressure and rejoined the fucker vast that very night. He never meant to quit. Never, however, while art he was as virile is ever many noticed that he never used his catchphrase ever again in a year and a day later, on the night of the following Christmas orgy, Archie a little nook miss about the curse, got blast ass, wasted and tried to write his horse. How can actually always to be clear that it costs of your death? Will they have evidently drinkin DR eminently drinkin horse, and he fell once again, but this time the Spirit did not return to his body and archie, presumably, is still to this day fuckin in Hell,
That's why I would say I want to have sex it apple being involved. Have all I care you indefinitely get a hand job and in any anywhere in the rust built. Oh, you get a hand job in an apple began. You could do that before nightfall, oh yeah, I want on tacos every tasty, are second to last story. Today comes from Newcastle upon Tyne Quayside, what They got forty names for things that are normal here. I just wrote that down our over there. I don't know what Times quayside means. I'm assuming the time is. A river is probably a seven eleven on it. Now I know England, seven eleven. There just gettin they have a ninety six out. So now they God I've always wanted a drink that I can also bade me. I know back in the sixties hundreds this was the site of a notorious press game
in which young men would be forced to enlist as crews on ships against their will also call being shanghaied get Martha in one night. Allow oh boy, barrel maker named Henry Hardwicke, who is being pressed into service fought back. Is he and twenty other boys were being led to their fates on the high seas, but the press gang was not in the mood for Henry's high jinx that night, they took the boy nailed him to the door of his former place of employ stripped and naked and beat him half to death, and as if this wasn't enough to make a proper example, the gang then gouged out his eyes with a knife in castrated him and so for centuries. Since the apparition of the naked castrated, eyeless boy will appear on moonless nights in the atmosphere and weather
to those of the terrible night. He died also the first ever Jacko in kind of excited. We hear this guy you're like you, can choose one of the other leave my eyes or leave my balls. You can't tissue Could you choose your juice place? Making I tell you, I would still gets worse. Alan Heart is around your great director, the hurry you directed for good film that seventeen, that's rather than you would have sex with other women can cause he almost in care about their active. Almost clear, though, that a director wouldn't care about acting and only about getting late. Finally, we come to it told. Do us by a German named Carl Brook with this
EL, the urinating God. That's my wrestling great, not what you're finished I just feel over. The upper departments is just having a p throughout all wrestling yeah. That's hardly got his elbows on get squeezed in order to bear out. Oh well, yeah GDP squeezes every squeezes it out of you avoided await you lose says the finishing movies come a little early death. Did a parachute wrote that he's paid all over the ground are now it's. It's more of a golden sprinkle, the strange if I can find came up with a good wrestling name for myself. Doktor gasoline but there's nothing we're moving here. What are such that the name of ever so one day in nineteen? Thirty two, while vacation in Ireland with his wife, Mr Broker decided to tour sum of Ireland's famous round how
a german, and so my idea of a vacation is to go. Do the Damas boring possibly because of history. It sounds very fund to me, as he was taking in the beauty of a particular tower whose entrance was for some reason: fifteen feet above the ground. Mister broker saw a strange figure emerge and begin to walk on thin air, with no means of support, as a circus performer might walk on a tightrope. Mr broker moved closer to the castle to get a closer look, but as he moved forward, he heard someone walking behind him giggling when Miss broker turned around. He was faced with a tiny figure of a three foot tall man naked, except for a brown floppy hat broker, said the sheer ugly said the little man made him set as he was covered in warts had a large.
Misshapen knows and most disturbingly of all, headed disproportion. Lee huge thick Peter, which hung almost to the ground. And here in Mr Brokers, own words is what happened next. The goblin seem to fully. If he said I was unable to take my eyes off his giant member. And gleamed like a maniac, I should say he began to spring up round and round like an enormous piece of rope Opel, and at this point I was walking backwards and still but over Iraq. So he answered back of my neck standing on end and ass. I did so so ugly, misshapen, goblin rush towards me and in fee of danger I held my hands to my face expecting a blow when suddenly experienced something hot wounds that hitting me so Goblin was urinating on me. As I looked
up to now. Moyne anger morning. Sin horror, the ugly B and began to fade of aids. Slowly. Taking on the appearance of the ghost you see in the pictures, no moving bigger has hidden loves, a moving picture. I did it. I do not know, but my vest, my first reaction was to lift up and start from, I did now. I did it. I do not know, but my first reaction was who lived up my arm to my nose and I smell you smell guys had to you did being curious. I'm curious about boring things. Some german, ok, presumably because of the urine shower, which I have just experienced. Strangely, not We did my close, not smell, but I realized tat my previously that clothing was now complete. We try, I could seize in normal, like figure small returning Susie to the door of the tower. In the same way said he came down, so you did smell them
the role and it smelled most vigorously like pay for up to three seconds. Strangely, MR brokers, experience with the urinating goblin is the only known encounter on the record, although locals in Ireland are convinced that he had come into contact with quotas quote one the little people and actually turn out. It was the great great grandfather of Peter Dink, which always that somethin scattered nausea my mother, you came in contact with my mother while well that wisdom, you know
I wanted to see a scary and creepy, but really with sexy a naughty. If you came at all no mom, you were doing. Shall I your lesson Michel again, I personally, you know what actually regulation and grants. I hope it did for you. If we made one person come with their show. I think we did our job as longer. Wasn't the radiant boy, all as it was in the boy, got a feeling, even if you work, if you can common of just from the description of a naked beautiful boy, then you should go to the police. They have them arrest self arrest yourself, but if you also, if you came to the idea of a urinating goblin, that's technically legal! That's how the illegal! Don't you think you think you can just find a little person a piano. I tell you: If the same body is that little problem Listen! You wear brown Floppy had some occasion year threads while
what an episode guys, what an episode, but at other, thank you guys so much for listening. We will be in Atlanta this weekend. Yes, dad this saturday we're gonna, be plain: the Earl go too bad earl dot com to get your tickets, it's gonna be fuck us and we got. We got up a puppet men. Opening up for not a puppet man is not a puppet. May I thought he was a pop up. He's out of Hungarians are we're way to describe it almost at the summit of the Scots thing, we're we're going he's. Professor more tat is a heat, as he is shame. Morton from you're pretty face is going to help in other, make up your previous gonna. Does a spook show called a professor Morton, My daddy is a whole area. Soon, it's going to be no puppets, no puppets, not a single ok. Now nobody can. I the puppet mayo. Our plus, I will show you a man we interviewed Shane before and the show is a great guy s going to be a wonderful performance done by all
gotta, be great baby. It booze spooks and hollers yeah. That's right, it's gotta be asked me. That's a June eighteen, that's gonna be an early show. I think it's at seven p m. At thirty seven thirty say I gotta battle dotcom than a week after that, The Saturday after that, we're gonna be in marched in DC at the Kennedy CERN just Google Glass Buck S on the left, Washington DC you'll find tickets for that and we can travel so much more. Do in all these live shows because you guys have been so wonderful with the patriarch. Thank you guys. You're really help us out a lot yet patriotic outcomes. Last last podcast on the left, if you guys feel like if you feel like that, we deserve a little bit of cash to work with you and you can go over and give to us there. Thank you so much for everybody that has contributed money so far. Goddamn. We appreciate you guys. We couldn't even tell you I'm adequate, saved significant, lotta, heavy soft going on in the world and in the country at the port of why we did kind of a light fun episode today, S doing hillside stragglers that they and I think I did it the little bit of a message out: thereabout shoot, love and Productivity
Were you go instead of destruction and bull shit likely to embrace your fellow man and make something instead of destroying something be. I love passion Satan until I said yeah that's great, and yet we talked about the situation this week on now. This week's ailing its top at so go check that out and Del isn't a round table of gender and as well, but we do over the next couple episodes we have come up our guy, I think you're gonna really like we have a couple of ones in me, a couple a good. We have a couple, a good or a bad episodes, but we gotta coupled with a really good wines in one hour put it this way is very much enjoy endorsed by just gold bloom,
next week's episode met. I love Jeff Gold, whom I actually just re washed. The fly we beer in creepy or we decide ales off I'll, buy, got us out it check out the trail. Over thirty one looks fucking on green room was also incredibly finally saw to Canada's Jani on demon. Ion green room is by far my favorite movie. There's absolutely on class. Also Alex Jones was proof, was polar if rating a David Ike's death hoax last night, we'll do the above, I voted for literally gave the day there was a whole thing went out. The David I could die and I freaked out- and I literally had an emotional response I have like a preview of when he actually dies. I got a motion I have to go in dumps. Like I gotta reopened, my David Ike
play it only job to M, I gonna talk to him worse will ever have anybody knows how to get in contact with you. What I mean I want to talk with you have given country would table. I can send them a message. We could just sent him a facebook Mozilla only Mania wanted they weren't. Yet these guys that, like we think, are constantly busier. Note there like telling me, though, do they're doing nothing. Marijuana synthetic Imelda stand premium without you wouldn't get back to us and he sent me Nemo back within seven minutes where that is a that's a fuckin, spoiler, say more lively, let's say more preview. Miss Carlyle Rove as Well- and I will test he is- he does have called hands hey about that naval. Page seven secular the human activities are given the learning about, makes our duck slash, Marcus parts. You guys, Blast Buck S left. He should go to cave company, radio, dot, com, slash, more
we're about to have a page on the cave, comedy radio site. That's going to show all of our upcoming shows going to have tickets all the links for going to have that up. Very soon, it's going to make all that shit much year for everybody pretty face is going to help us now season. Two is now on Hulu, so you got who you could check it out? That's all on their Hale Satan, I'm at Twitter at Henry loves you in forgotten and scramble important portion Hail yourselves. I'm had been castle on Twitter and been gives a one on Instagram on posting ever known again at Marcus parts on Twitter. I'm also at Marcus on Instagram, postpone Randy, going brandy, good branding, it's my name, that's good own!
It's all. My name's are important. No oranges, airport, Marcus, Jordan Parks, a doctor, gasoline Diana gas at the DAS, a wow, I'm the pithy goblet, you Ben, I don't know, there's commentator: I've won it. Maybe like loose skinned flag again mayor ladder. That's really believe at night wrestling where everybody hates the wisest like your mom as a shield arise because you to your pants, slowly fall or on your ankle dies. You wrestle. Oh yeah. The human carpet might be good either the human carpeted skin. Flanagan either. One gained Flanagan is pretty great, who wins stature, dazzling enough to say mail me yet modulation and how gain more shows what just listen to go to cave, comedy, radio, dot, com.
Transcript generated on 2019-12-15.