« Last Podcast On The Left

Patreon Sampler: His Master's Voice

2018-02-16 | 🔗

Before we get to the next Last Podcast subject, we're going to let you further digest the Jonestown series. And so this week we're giving you a sampler of the kind of bonus content you can find on our Patreon feed! In this installment, Ben reads some bone-chilling Creepypastas and the Son of Sam gives you some indispensable lifehacks.

We'll be back next week with another classic episode of Last Podcast on the Left! Hail yourselves!

Want more Patreon content? Unlock episodes on patreon.com/lastpodcastontheleft

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
There's no way to escape. Tourism is the last on the level of cannibalism started: hey what's up over what are you doing Ben Kizil? Here we have. Special weak are we took it we're taking a small break for Marcus parks me dull sanity. The Jonestown episodes were crazy and long, and thank you all for the awesome response. I know the research was heavy and Marcus Head sweat on his brow. For more, the ball multiple weeks, citing the siphoning through all that madness. So this week we're gonna, give you a little bit of a bonus or a little bit of a teacher of what you would get if used scribe to our patria. So I'm going to read some creepy boss. Does horrible at it,
also we have a bonus episode or a free episode, as always free, I suppose, but in episode of page seven we're gonna die that right here in the last podcast speed, similarly to what we did to the with the able gets top at. Thank you also much for supporting that show, and you also much more support in all the shows european? So if you want to check out page Evan, it's a celebrity gossip show with Jackie's eyebrows, give Molly novel and, of course, a handsome boy himself, Marcus part if you dont, want to drag out no check it out. It's all good, so all right. I will begin the creepy pasta sperience, I hope your stoned. I I, Henry was here to tell you to roll up a hogs leg or something like that. But nonetheless I hope you're with friends and not to alone, because certainly this will get creeping alright, this once called the smiling man so he's very happy.
This story begins? five years ago I live downtown and a major city in the: U S, o my maybe Cleveland. I've always been a night person so often find myself board after my roommate who decidedly not a night person, went to sleep to pay The time I used to go for long walks and spent the time thinking. Well, isn't that what I said for years like that, one alone at night, and never once had. Had any reason to feel afraid. I speak for years? I value the ads, smiling men. For years like their walk alone and night and never once had arrived to feel afraid. I just a joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city, where polite ass get him a fund joke, but all changed in a few minutes of one evening, it was a Wednesday some
between one and two in the morning, and I was walking nearer please patrolled park quite away from my apartment, quiet, nine, even promote even for a week night with a with very little traffic and almost no one on foot the bill, guess it was. Most nights was completely empty. Turn down a short side street. Nor do I turn down a short side street. To look back to my apartment. When I first noticed him, oh is love in the air raid right the far end of the street on my side, was the silhouette of a man dancing. The strange dance similar to a waltz, but he finished each box with an odd forward stride. I guess: you could say he was dance, walking, headed stew, for me this sidedly he was probably drunk. I stepped as close as I could to the road to give him the majority of the sidewalk to pass me by the closer he got
The more I realized how gracefully he was moving. He was tall and lanky and wearing an old suit. He d closer still until I can make at his face. His eyes were open wide and wild head tilted back slightly looking but the sky his mouth. Is formed in a painfully wide our tune of a smile. Between the eyes and the smile I decided to cross the street beef. Where he danced any closer took my eyes off him to cross the empty straight, as I read the other side. I glanced back and then stop dead in my racks? Oh, oh, my goodness, he had stopped dancing and was standing with one foot in the street perfect, parallel to me here, facing me, but still looking skyward, smile still wide on his lips. I was completely and utterly unnerved. By this I started
walking again but have to my eyes on the man didn't move once I had put about a half Black between us, I turned Way from him for a moment to walk to why the sidewalk in front of me. This Reading the sidewalk ahead of me were completely empty. Still unnerved, I looked back to where he had been standing to find him gone is gone for the better just of moments? I felt relieved until I noticed him, he had ass the street and was now slightly crouched down. I tell for sure, due to the distance and the shadows, but I was certain he was facing. May I looked away from him for no more than ten seconds, so it was clear that he and moved fast, fast Walker, I was so shocked that I stood there for some time staring at him in he started moving toward me again. He took giant saturated tiptoed steps as if he were
cartoon character, snaking up on someone except to in very, very quickly. I like, to say at this point I ran away or pulled out my pepper spray or my cell phone or anything at all, but I didn't. I just stood there completely frozen as the smiling man crept toward me, he stopped again about a car length away from me still smiling his smile still looking at the sky, when I find We found my voice. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. What I meant to ask was: what do you want? What do you want it? recommending tone. What do you want it came out was a whimper. Like all like a whimper sailing a what Who,
regardless of whether or not humans can smell fear. They can certainly here it I heard it in my ma. I heard it in my own voice and that only made me more afraid, but he didn't we to it at all. He just stood there smiling. And then after what fell life forever, he turned around very slowly and started. Ants in walking away just like that: not wanting to turn my back to him again, I just what Jim go until you far enough away to almost be out of sight and then I realized something, he wasn't moving away anymore, nor she dancing. I watch in horror as the distant shape of him grew larger and larger. He was here was coming back my way, and this time he was running, I two. I write and until it was off the side street and back onto a better that road with sparse traffic,
Looking behind me, then he was nowhere to be found there. If the way home I kept glancing over my shoulder, always waiting to see his stupid smile, but here Never there I lived in city. For six months after that night, and I never went out on an island- I never went out for another walk. There was some about his face that always haunted me. He didn't look drunk he didn't look high. He looked completely an utterly insane, and that's A very very scary thing to see well, isn't there, good it's about mental health, and that is something we have to talk about in our society today I went to the As yesterday, I'm not gonna. Well, beauty aren't so so don't worry about me if you're walking at night, the smiling man, ok scary, stuff there that was was creepy.
right. It's time for another creepy pasta, this one's called what you see, what You see. Ok, it's going to start now, daddy smoked, coughed and sputtered until he spat his heart out It hit the floor in a mess of black blood that looked like ink. He said this. Costs will never leave me. I told him, it was take him away and he got mad lips all. Hold up in eyes narrowed! Well, he shoved another cigarette in his mouth after That day, I kept my comments to myself. Didn't say a word when mom started walking around with a mental rod. Just now, however, is happening now. First spoke about a lump of cells on the back of my cats neck with this. You should talk about it when people in streets, wide past league, from bullet wounds or with glass shards through their clothes. I can
my eyes on the ground and thoughts do myself figure that was the best way to deal with it. I didn't to be cursed, didn't makes and that I do it didn't make sense that I due to anyone else, and so I tried to live and be normal. I met her. Well, that was perfect. One It could make my heart beat a little faster, Willard smile and with her smile and who had me thinking about her all day people Her were rare. The undead edged kind. I do everything I could to make it work and make it work? I did We moved in together, worked out together, shared our feelings and went on extensive trips overseas, that's kind of fun, one in Paris I bent the knee. She said yes soon. After we had the best wedding, a couple could ask for if she was my valentine than I.
Would forever beer? Valentino I loved her truly loved her, and when I woke up each morning- and I didn't have to worry about getting your sick, she would naturally- and I would be by her side a year After we eloped, we had a little aiming a girl justice. Perfect desert mother. When we turned five. She showed promised far beyond any other child. I met she undressed feelings and needs, and she would never tantrums, or are you back most people, mounted on how we raise such a lovely child. Cited that if there was any one I should be honest with it was my daughter. And so one day I decided to tell her about my power. I said Amy do you know do you wanna know Daddy secret secret.
Amy's, face lit up and she dropped dropped. Her toys Daddy's has a talent, I said Amy's, by my feet, her eyes wide talent like us, superpower Amy nodded when look at you and mommy. I see you safe and healthy, but for other people, I can see when their hurt or sad even forward, happens Amy frowned. You see people not bad people, people that have been? things happened to them, Amy's eyes went wide in her face hardened with understanding. You mean, like the thing pointing out of daddy's check list The hell he's got a thing come in through his chest. He's dead, wow wow as it she sees it well. Well, isn't that that's up! terrible for parenting. Lot of people. Think Europe
parents are dead. Well, that was scary. That's one of cannibalism, stirred alright. The name of this creepy pastor is going to murder my husband well, that is a mean thing to do I'm going to murder my spend ok and agree we passed a begins. Now I'm going to murder my husband, it's not what you think not even close? It is nothing to do with hatred and absolutely everything to do with mercy. Oh my goodness, there We have a great document rail. I saw called Gleason all about a man dealing with a less Lou Gary's disease, one of the worst oh geez.
It's not what you think not even close. It has nothing to do with hatred and absolutely everything to do with mercy. I can bear it anymore. We to be so happy. You know, that perfect moment when you see that somebody that you know you'll love that person forever Some indoors clicks India. Every day when he'd come home from work was the same we'd ass. Each other. How each other's days was dinner together and just relax in each other's arms, afterwards I loved our long walks at night, but none in pleased me more than those lazy days when we were just basket, each other's company has grows basket at each other's company like that before, when you are truly in love with someone. That's really all you need exe, kept. That's not how it works. Love doesn't last week common decency for that matter,
Do you know what he did? Do you know what the former love of wildlife did Dumay he went out and actually introduced me to her all right. It's over you! Don't love me anymore! Fine! I get that, but why kind of sadist. Wants you to be friends with the one who ruined your life Was it all some kind of sick game? Did he ever really love me. Look, I understand, I'm not really his wife, but what does that even mean? I've, never really understood these kind of labels. Love is love, right, guess I'm just nothing dm now. If I was, ever anything at all, so this a horrible reality that I've been dealt. I just one the pain the end and that then everything will be ok. I know it so I will. With bated breath for my former love to get back and get oh get this over with suddenly front door opens Ethan You home yet baby, the intern
mobile. The intergroup uncle birdie else out Alec interloper well, will get the interloper yells out. Suddenly my body twitches, my first stands up and my tails to that end, can help. We can help, will reconsider even better thing buried all my teeth, its dog up up up, and I think that is its a dog. What well you could draws them die, don't worry about it! That's that's! That's cute as flood. See. I read these stories right along there with your folks. And while some people are saying it's a monkey, but I think it's a dog I mean come on to be honest here. So, let's man's best friend,
Glenn. I guess they get a little jealous to invest friends get jealous, so the other makes sense all right. The name of this story is it started as all week so it began. Just kind of ESA leak there? The story begins The rainy season began in early summer and June had been exception. It did not. Surprise. The man when he discovered rainwater dripping from his dining room ceiling, shrugging it off? He placed a tall pot beneath the leak and expected it to on its own, however, it can Can you terrain and for he knew it. The pot with threats to overflow, I'm gonna overflow, any head dump the water out first thing in the morning and straight after he returned home from work.
Eventually he began to notice the water damage at the store so the leak? No, ceiling had discoloured turning dull, shade of Brown he checked, whether in realised that it would be that it would continue to reign sporadically over the net. Ten days: The man was worried about the ceiling mill doing coming inexpensive repair. So we can, The local handymen Fortunately, the man could not sign to have the repairs done only his landlord could it was. Straight in policy terms called his landlord but could not reach him. He left him. A few voice males detailing how the damage was becoming progressively worse, the man? clueless as to why his landlord would not return is calls they usually kept in touch speak at least twice a month. Finally, He reasoned that he would not be able to that. He would not be held accountable for damages sustained. Well, that's good, tenant, Roy
ladies and gentlemen, don't forget you gotta one The man was startled awake by massive thump. He quickly turned His bedside lamp and just Bagley He could see an overturned table and a large shape lane across it he's. Printed out of his apartment and called the police Geigy. At the smell- oh, my god, gagging at the smell, Demand sat in the police station with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a coffee resting in his hands. He No one thing there had been a body in his ceiling, Water had saturated it so badly that it can lived under the weight so far the bond he was on identifiable. Due to the rainwater and agenda was being autopsy. It Ok! So so far the boy was on identifiable due to the rainwater and was being a top seed of one one
Will the man waited? He called his landlord and finally reached him. Pay again, as he explained the situation his landlord was just as alarmed the manpower for him to come to the station. Well, he made a statement. Demand p does a detective crossed over him. And he lowered his phone. Wondering The body had been identified, his blood ran immediately cold and he shook his head with terror. The body belong to Richard Thomson, his landlord and died over a year ago? That's what disturbed him the most his landlord was dead. Then, who was pretending to be pretending to be a landlord. I that's a crime, worse, pretending to be a cop. So his landlord was was was up, they're kind of drip on him.
It started as a league and ended as a landlord hello day their relation is all praise be to God. Dad I'm alive and I'm feelin well today, and that your listening nl, oh well, go back. David Berkowitz is corner besotted say just joy to himself in this field and the cool breeze in a tiny sixty. Why six inch window that I'm allowed the look outside of and always nice a bottle? I came by the other day in all its stayed me because it had eyes on the pick of it and I was looking at me like you. We stay. And I realized it knows what I did
Telly Ardelia bought of. Why are we gotta get dutch we butterfly come out of there. Would they gaudy a pocket when it God be important? Smith. She are building a New York, butterfly cake and even that's kind of funny justice. In a body to HO ho ho, just imagine paid taken the shape of a butterfly would not just be adorable. It suddenly get it. Park swipe at the bridge. My thing about brunches is it I hate waiting for food in the morning. The last thing I want to do is go sit with a the budgets. Maggie's just sit, nay like all. I hope it all wrong. Biscuits in time causes the wanted. Those restaurants where, body, runs out a brisk, its cause. They all they make it fresh. So maybe a girl with armpit is back. They make it an o, skate, Nay said he had seen it man, I don't gamble brunch anymore, though now we get kind of a cold groove.
Tell you what I'll do I'll go back four seconds, because I got a reputation to keep up and a good and I got them at general. Oh, they call me The jewish Anthony which is why I find it to be ironic, because you just take that I ain't out the real say that that is true for Georgia. That would be a good idea, with these jokes. They tell me David, but now by the bright. Grace of God himself, I'm alive because, as you know, I was put now spittle day for a little bit. No God was I worried because it was like judgment a common. I know now my soul, is clear I know that I am I've made peace with our Lord in Christ, Jesus Christ or not lovey. Jesus you'd never been nothing but good to me. Big up. Do you Jesus Christ, but read for everybody else. Because I know that these people, even people in jail, you
have not received the wonderful word of Jesus Christ himself and they are going to go down there. Oh it outlines it going. Hell with, although the demons and ill I didn't stick in it, you big forks and go and allow- and you see me and you got your feet we'll watch calls and you have to go out and princes because it his sexuality. That's. Why he's got an hell for me I'll, be up in Heaven with me in glorious, glorious, glorious April gotta meet him together Ache and he was such a good act. And it's a shudder. Did you never received and ask for four loose lagoon and in all twenty five, we said he was in, but again dodge the bullet
I just want to say. Ok, I mean you know what you said, because many people I've met did not budge bullets. That's funny joke my room, Its life in this field touching me good. May you make me day. I will go to go to having ok No, you know I was reading about this thing, but first of all he's comin out this episode of God, David Byrne. With this court is comin out a very solemn day. For an instant broke up with the boyfriend, just throw all. When will she find love? I worry about her because Was I mean, there's only so much a millionaire with perfect press and a wonderful face just cover with stem cells? It will I mean what else no wrong for her, she was almost uncertain and I live. Did you know that that's the only ass, the most talented audition
and she went in it, she chose friends, which I honestly think it's those that you chose spraying sobered just being all in the limelight. She the nice independent little television show that she could be on the ones before, because she's got to do with the tools to tease out there just being like just to swim in it at all, so proud with the big perky breasts. There's no way shall ever find somebody else she so disgusting. She was so lucky debate with just throw. She doesn't understand me when I see a woman when I look at a woman, all ILO a woman who look like you could carry a beggar rocks up. I want a woman who looks like if you, if you hit him with the tsunami wave, she wouldn't fall over big round ankles I want a woman with the science, eleven shoe, wet hair on the top of feet, like all. Like my mother of only didn't give me up, mother didn't things would be
like it was today, but you know what in the end I tanker because it was for the crimes I did in the jail time. I served. I wouldn't found the delicious beautiful light of Jews Christ. They do now Mary or above all, big Debo loved nothin, but find that but laughs, but I feel bad for Jennifer because she's no courtly Cox said to tell it. Of course, because she was just so funny with this knocking is. She was just all like. Oh I'm, many freak and in ROS was oh, I'm a grumpily Armani freak. I think I was wrong. Sudden need freak, I know my roommates just you shit right now, months, possibly lookin out of here. Reform, address this, there's gotta be? what a tragedy. And there so many tragedies going on right now. You know they cancelled. This joy did so many
tragedies happen, and I saw it on my eye sought or my Yahoo knows, and then all of a sudden. No god you mean you sell me there we can. We can see just the role and Jennifer Earnest in any more of the big events. I loved him any thoughts. I love Jennifer Edison. All you could see them We have the time to reassured it's so nice to see it just acc the woman's alive. That's where I like most, Would you woman's nipples odd through a short, you know what she's doing a life she's doing good Oh god, I gotta say, though it taught me because beer without a woman in jail has just been Schonberg. I am sick of it. I'm so warning the other day. I start my dick and an orange, and I said thank you MA am oh I'm workin, tight five I was written. So what did a breakdown of the recent interview? I did You had watched, go look at it that ABC Soda same recent interview. I looked grave, but when they,
people see people magazine, oh god. What it'll wrote about me is your majesty said about me, and it just makes me go home, said: Norma, looking bold chubby guy, we're cheeks any comes pounds and not the meta. He is quite right from the sullen son of SAM, probably seven, these yeah yeah. Of course I am you- I mean I'm twenty pounds thick. I got that prison. Muscle, because all you gotta do age is always running and heightened because people say look like an author of a nation is thick has taken me, like We're gonna worry, sort of ABC Scooby reconvene keep going from all. Good. There. You have it here. It is. I pointed out the gold in the knowledge that song it's it's a lie, that song is alive because it's not a place on earth, so why are we do today, it's a
oh god, you know I like to go through, like Barry sundries are like re, nauticals and kind of talking about the diction about what kind of happened in the nose and dishing about things that will help your lifestyle braids, but where I was Have you heard about this thing? Called life hacks? It's it's like no. When you get back into the mainframe, it's a guy in those old movies, a movie with age willing to Joey. Oh, she had some Bobby's honor We, the jolly we could get a collective collect that she's like we're in the mainframe and ever increasing, always surfing the web. I've. Never. Actually I've only been allowed to search the weapon all bits time when I get time in the library, but it's nice did did you hear about it that there are a whole? hey, where, besides develop to life, hacks, now live hacks. Are these things that it's not somebody like? What's his name, who's, the guy from side felt waiting
tell me the error. I would the guy robots, I felt they ve done the bed stand up. Oh cycle was funny Here's a beta, Bedstead boys, his name, I'm it'll, look up right now, they stand up, Bedstead besides Felt bird said up. Seinfeld. Better is their Benda Airlines Albania. So life hacks, that's a bang, but if you think about this, we all struggle right. Every day of life is an endless climb up a mountain but only gets bigger and bigger. So I have here a bunch of wonderful little wife. Hex there are just you did you take up. Any use have needs a free. This is for,
Well, you don't you worry about this. Ok, look at this Valentine's day, thou. State night a day? All you good skip the lines for the rest I know that now it's too late. So, oh god, I'm sorry about that. I shouted others wreck of the day, but it's what you gotta do. All I get is ok, there's a couple of other ones. When you care should get change rap. The coins in the receipt of they ran around loose into pockets and you could easily three relied on. This is the kind of thing that what it does is. It begs your life Lobo Ease, a little bad time. I know it's. Free debts are free ok. Here we go look at this. Oh someone stick close to the outside. We are therefore Georgia, the outside rubber, followed charge. You start for the point right, nineteen, o God and you what you like. Oh do. I look like what kind of shit we're going to look like you. Look at the cafe. When I got all my boss sit up road charges and everybody stared me. What are you poor use
kind of poor and I'm like you, I, Barbara unrealistic. That's what I always say. You always say that to give way to get out of it,. But we got here is, according to your full charge your way ago, a good way to fix it, so people to ruin your reputation outside. Is you constituent clothes which in turn now that's easy with Stacy, but that life back is that it only takes by twenty five means. Do a thing that you could do for? rejected was update at it's nice to see your work beard put it this up, because that's what he's with physical what it's like! How long are we could be sent your longer? We can sit here knit and you may be. Couldn't avoided, walk out industry did it by a truck, it could be like They show sliding doors which we ve covered, and we talked about many many times many many times, so gay hearing always nothing preventing or all the tape from Closing all this not in that makes me more. Oh, oh, you know
you're trying to tape like what you got us a square and little girls are choosing a ban gear con you, like sharp, shut up shut up. I try to get the tape around about She's grave, unlike begins to be good, that a good way to prepare yourself. From delaying the horse being in being heard by the neighbours of the new being called by the police, in that they find your market and back. You call we're gonna do upon the pretty boy. Then the wallpaper causing by taking a red tape. But you guys the bread like all would back of data is to deliver to our house and you go. You get the print tabs. What keeps up the place it by close and you can put it on the tape. Yet now This is easy. This is one two three Lickety split, more tips, full sun trees that are going to keep you from feeling frustrated with the thing is, is that you still have to like get it off the edge of the and then put the red tape on it. So I am not.
And really sure how much time you saving figure look at similar, tight, Lifehack c o k o k a floor sparks vote, stayed ticket. Take a forest punks, give up your phone on its a foreign state for when you what your porn on your call. You drive always another one. Three, fifty banana hang for. Walmart works perfectly is ahead phone right steps forward my mind: this is incredible: hack, ok, would they say here? Ok, this is a life lifehack that actually read separately. You know when you get hiccups They driving me crazy. I know for a fact. When I get a corpse, my roommate goes completely in say: I mean is truly he's a dangerous parts. I saw a part of it is that a part of it is that just a general nature is very dangerous. By get hiccups at night, and this that the worst near me because
like I get the double her cubs, because I'm shaped liquidity. The poor and I mean He'S- got the route what have you got? A merging bitted sound itself is awful right now. This is true. According to a medical study. The way we get already hiccups, like I'd say you have could sometimes you could actually have a syndrome which is also we did. I read about is it? You will go said, rob where you get permanent hiccups, lunatic, all God Secundem, it's not like that First, like a noble within a words that are going to do the woman goes up. Those cops and you like you're forty gypsy and then off suddenly cannot progress your life, but would they and they say, is true. If you did you www massage your earnings neck, get rid of cops. You could look this up. This is not even this is not even a bit This is not a joke. This is real. You stick to goes up your ass whole new will stop pick up and maybe
your shootin somebody dotted ropes, because the male twitter, is insane but hope. Maybe What is it you so distracted that your body, sets itself illegal. Oh, oh, oh well, you periods is flat I like fire hose should couple of your niece. I dont know All it always is that if you do it yourself, you not gay and that's what you're, going for having pleasure without making Jesus sorry Jesus illegal goods. That's me doin that that's me to win that. Ok, let me see if a couple of it is why not if you use a cake up or another bread by shaken and if the coffee ground so white, they won't shake. This is why you wasted and me I have not received any emails, because I've been doing is very sporadically. So I understand you to keep up with me all the time, but I take what's up what to say is that I'm trying
I beg, put ice, cube a coffee or I could go to cool down these Why do they show? I do this, detain the educate we gotta go back and say I resent people by say an unknown look, and I would say I'm not looking I say, I'm no like it. My baby you all- and I remember what I told George Potassae one boy- maybe thank you have an organization. Is it you want to get out of jail analysis like all? Why would I- when I get out of jail and that's what I said to him? I should have said Martin, you should have earned me back in the day, but I know you Odin and thank you. Thank you, everybody, I'm sure, the alive now, just so nice there's somebody, afraid, hiccup believed. Why packs but Don't understand this. Actually, just one all you gotta do is take fingers up your ass. Now, don't you get a little smile, but also the hiccup stop and fine?
lay the torches king, which I think is nice goal smiled a hobby. Like sick of thing is that I was also going through goop. But thing is a goop, all God it makes me so It makes me so I said: oh look at this. Ok this little thing here? little or a lot to weigh support the color! Wherever they are, you can do with little bit with a little bag because a lot if you re a butcher labrador once you know what you're gonna look like you're good I'll look like some needs to be beaten with debt is rocket, but he make local. Superfluous daughter, o touch eleven, and what is that? A flower woman? Look at all of these big flappy things this website is absolute garbage the longer I look at it. The more makes me I just makes me so upset. Did telling women aware torch coaches, fine, this much.
Hot chocolate, I dont understand, I did a lot of mushrooms Vietnam, but that was also because I was trying to avoid serving. I wasn't a good soldier. I just don't follow orders. Well, you know I mean I just I'm not. Just one or die. I'm I'll boys dates tomorrow, job! That's what I do. There is so much absolute garbage on this website. I want to say more yoyo regret this mindfulness. He mindfulness ensued, mindful business says he had Goober wicked, learn. Ok, how you future self, keep you healthy food track habits on track, go fuck yourself. What do facial coupling facial copying would say. What is this a finding comforted? Zodiac? Oh, never do that they soda The devil is to all I'll. Tell you is that all tourism stubborn inside
appeals, are full of patients and would have give would have the opposite. What if it's the opposite? What is that This website makes so Dave Sense City, a goal This horse shit, I just gotta. I never get it no adjusted Jennifer's baby signal. Like what guided tragedies that works. The tragedy. Is that it's like will never know what are my pants as it is, you will know quite because all of our glorious, Donald Trump, it's gonna, stay president, for ever, and he knows you know what's right, is it the only got good role? That's correct! Is you Do I tell you rock and roll. That's the funniest bit in a world everybody's excited for gun control, jokes, Oh, you guys need my input on gun control. Everybody does. Ok here we go Lifehack. Ten law
parents say tell a lot, but never Otis. That causes watching you, does it instead of threatening them would say that have given them gives take away something in the here and now suddenly, no baby as immediate consequences, I don't know, sometimes it gets. They should also causes watching you someone's trying to manage debate we'll never like anything, bread happen to you that it is a thing that you your parents say decades, and that is made technically a silk. Technically, if the kid It's like the falls at a well gets taken by both to traffic is new allied. You could be sued array That's it. That's means I but says he: U care particular job on two percent of the time instead use the truth, but even so the child dies, feel protected. Get away of real dangers need something like I will always try to protect you, but they are bad people out there so
That's why I don't want you to want to wait for me to store at their kids that I taken from them obvious daddy's and it's terrifying There would be terrify Agnes eighty, a child, that's that That's what you, I guess. You should said, maybe say that say is another lie, it won't hurt. I promise Whelp I guess you don't want to be like this. It's gonna fuck you're gonna but this horrible. This horrible moment for the rest of your life guess closed. That is it. That's a lie. That is a lie or that you should entail because you know very well. The park is open, but you don't have the time to take the kitchen upon, because you have it's one. Instead, allied be honest, Barbicane take you to the park today because we have to get groceries for the week, so we can have meals. And I have some other board neurons that have to be done in a year. Not as a board news. You should be, that is what saying dear child The end remember Rachel to right, because if not, they turn out like me, keep your mother in play.
I don't know I to tell them you: are you you're the best or screech open your painting? Yeah? You want to give all that praise is no reason by the present a child when their own sincere believe it or not. Kids aren't as global gullible. You think so. They know when you're lion when they, when they are not talented, talented, find out if you could do late adoption. Oh this is I don't know what happened to your artwork. There was hanging on the fridge You know how to do it because you threw it away. That's awful pity just broke out of some pledged peace, its I who gives a shit in the end. I mean kids, I remember I will be there in a minute which is a lie. I'm going to leave this house without you, you know, Then you never going to do that. You will not do that. We don't have enough money to blah blah blah blah idlers these things try to say not. Lydia kids, who told you to stay in the most parenting is lying. I was lied to about my eye was light to people.
Tom, and I will find out what I found out that my mother drives a product of all. Is it a lot of very did not ruin everything for me, so maybe a little while I get help a little bit and making sure someone does it matter? Seven people Look at this aid ways stay calm and cool. How to be, a patient. My stressed, ok disease. This. You guys ready to feel were released and relax. Or a year ago, number one let go this, it seemed like the aid of the world right now. It's not promise stress that about the situation in won't. Do any good because you're already at it, so just let it go, go fuck yourself to breathe. Don't tell me what to do I'm supposed to be. Are there other evidence was approved three lucid up. Does that make somebody relax more that would use, tell them to their face to loosen up
people love to hear it, they love to hear relax. They love to hear. Don't get angry, don't be a. We changed. Your motions they'll, be here too slowly slowed down at the door. David. If you want to learn to be patient, lose weight. Chauvelin your food down ass, fast ass, you can, shove, already more than you need to find yourself with the Billig go fuck yourself again. Swiss is making me angry, enjoy the journey focusing on. Result can quickly become exhausting, chasing a bold audacious goal. That's going to require a lot of time and patients split the several many goals so I have several causes for celebration. That's what I get up right. My first thing is: please make sure that my boy, he didn't shit itself in the night. If that doesn't happen or step one completed, I'm ok, step to all my feet, to or to put on socks or shoes know why I am in a light speed.
Everybody's Keller submitted a because I'm just tap dance down the street everybody's loved me because my feet on filled with blood clots too. Better go to travel by legs. To my spine and make me paralysed. Look at the big picture will mad at me next week, next month, next year, in ten years, I tell you what, when I found out about my mother, it lasts forever. Stop demanding perfection of yourself to honestly take it, take a standard thumb and says he practiced patients every day I d, just after you have to. I just need a red bore these life hex because I didn't know just much my life needed to be hacked, but now that I, every day, I'm gonna get up and read like nine. He knew these so make sure I'm on the straight and narrow everything Can it be great? Well,
I oppose this week's David Berkowitz corn, so to say corner sure what the show is called, but it just nice have you with me and again it got any sort of trees. Every sort of articles you want to talk to me about I'm gonna be tried again doing these more often we these to me, son of SAM zero, six, zero one, five, three, a gmail com. Just so you know, because, as my birthday, so Others are random, struggled novice. That's how I remember it's my birthday. Ok, yeah widespread! lovely I'm going to sit here and I'm not dead. Yet I don't know how many people want me to debt is a shudder, even though I am he had trying. Tat gave the love of Jesus Christ, everyone that I me so in salutations. Jesus for another. One of obeyed, TAT dates it out. He had appointed, are big Donald Trump, the Stick
I always promises a bead nothin, but a good, honest family man and not like that deep state, Communist Morocco, mama, it's so nice to be, finally in the protective Haines of a billion a because you know if he's a billiard you so smart is so determining so handsome and he's gonna die Had I hear he's got a big old thick does I have six. What is they saw me doing? Those holes like? Oh that's, dead right. Do you mean to tell me you would want to president hasn't had sex with the points that repressive when you get to go to other places. Like you Canada because I was talking to also get aboard satellites. We bilbil Oh, I wish I was you presently. The United States is a gay due to its pop up. Nothing makes me more proud of my country so arm yourself have a good all day, pray Jesus Christ and and give a lead?
but back to neighbourhood by patrol in it at night. Look good in people's houses and check it out their cause and make sure there's no proudest. Only a prowler can defend against prowess. Think about that If that? Ok, that's your government, David scored all right over one. Thank you so much for joining us on this special patriotic bonus episode, shared with all of you, Henry son of SAM I'll, tell you that is incredible stuff. You know, I think you can make it as a character after I really do. Ok, thanks! So much for listening, find all of us on social media, Marcus parts for everything. Henry loves you on Twitter, Doktor Van Tasty, on Instagram. I've been gives a one on Instagram bent Kizil on Twitter LP on the left for all things, last podcast good, Products page,
check it out. We get a bunch of new stuff come in for young and does so excited with how the entire network is going to help you enjoyed page seven. If you did check it out for everything, politics are not able to stop at movie sites with the man. You know where to find all the shows right there. In the last part gas network, all right over one Hale yourselves start to use and misuse deletions.
Transcript generated on 2019-12-12.