In nineteen. Seventy eight duck horn vineyards begin along rich tradition of crafting world class wines. Today, their portfolio features a why For every occasion, this holiday season give the gift of the luxurious and refined Declare limited cinema, coastguard, nay, the light gas with a soft fruit in elegant aromas of golden. I Anderson valley, penal wire or pull out all the stops for data pairing your delicious holiday favorites with duck horns classic napa valley, cabernet sauvignon is a duck horn, dot com to exploring shop, the entire portfolio, the duck horn portfolio saint holding a california now into the foreign laws, and I love you more than the from the new york times. I'm Anna Martin. This is modern love. Today's essay is from a woman who meets acute guy at the grocery store. They hit it off

the produce I'll their chit chatting. He asked her on a date which sounds perfect right except she. this nagging feeling that date isn't gonna go well. This, as it was also turned into a fabulous episode of the modern love tv show. It's called take me as I am who ever I am written by terry cheney and read. I kissed him potter, I'm a bipolar woman. I've lived much of my life in a constant state of becoming someone else. The precise term for my disorder is old trading in rapid cycle. which means that without medication I am at the mercy of my own. Spectacular mood swings up four days, charming a few sieve, productive, but never sleeping and ultimately hard to be around

And then down essentially immobile for weeks at a time this darkness started in high school one morning I just couldn't get out of bed. I stayed there for twenty one days. The pattern continued and my parents, friends and teachers were concerned, but they just thought I was eccentric, After all, I was stellar student. I never miss behaved and was the valedictorian at graduation college was the same. I thrived academically. In spite of my mental illness. I sailed through law, school I became an entertainment lawyer in los angeles. I represented select

these are major motion picture studios and through this whole time I searched for help through an endless parade of doctors, therapists, drugs and harrowing treatments like electroshock. Other than doctors, nobody knew, I heard it from friends and family with elaborate excuses, and I only showed up when I was at my best, but my personal life was another story in love: theirs hiding you have to let someone know who you are, but I didn't have a clue. I was from one moment to the next worst of all my manic charming self was constantly putting me into situations that my down self couldn't handle for exam One morning I met a man in the supermarket produce aisle. I hadn't slept for three days, but you wouldn't have known it to look at me my eyes,

green. My strawberry blonde hair put the strawberries to shame I literally sparkled I'd worn a gold sequined shirt to the supermarket manic taste is always bad. I pulled my card alongside his and started lasciviously squeezing a peach. I like them nice infirm. two he nodded and no bruises. He said That's all I needed an opening, and I was I My name asked him his likes and dislikes, and fruit sports presidential candidates and women. I talked so quickly. I barely had time to hear his answers. I didn't buy any peaches, but. left with a dinner date for saturday two nights away, but by the time I got home the darkness had already descended. I didn't feel like ploughing through my closet or unpacking the grocer

I just left them on the counter to rots or not wrought What did it matter pulled into bad as I was. I stayed there. It was all I could do to take a breath in oh shit, back out over and over On saturday afternoon, the phone rang still in bed, and I had to force myself to roll over pick it up and mutter alone, it's jeff from the beaches, just calling to confirm your address: Jeff peaches, a vaguely remembered talking to someone like that. and that wasn't me during the talking then or at least not it's me, but my conscience knew better gap, get dressed it hissed and my

it doesn't matter if she made the date you ve got to see it through when just showed up at seven I was dressed and ready, but more for a funeral than a date. I was swathed in black and hadn't put. Any make up. I had nothing to say not, then our dinner, so Jeff talked a lot at first then less and less and yet I was crushed when he didn't call a couple of weeks later I awoke to a world gone disney, daffodil sunshine Robins eggs guy. I flung back the cover. Danced in my ninety, my gray, flannel. Ninety. One glimpse of it in the mirror, shuddered and flung it off to I rifled through my closet, for something decent to wear

when they're shoved away in the back was a pair of skin, tight jeans and something silky and sparkly, and just what I needed an exquisite gold, sequined shirt. Then I tugged on the jeans. Something was sticking out of the pocket, a business card with a few words scribbled across the back call me Jeff. Jeff, of job with six thirty. I am too early to call now not for jav it rang and rang. I was about to give up when a thick sleepy voice said. hello. It's me. Why haven't you called use sound different? He said

soon. I had him laughing so hard. He got the hiccups and had to get off the phone, but before he did, he asked me out for friday three nights away. No, I insisted to be tonight or even this afternoon we compromised undone. that evening at eight o clock I spent the afternoon, lending my house of all evidence of depression when the house looked perfect I turned on myself with the same fury I puffed and polished, and green and plucked ended everything in my power to recreate rita, hayworth smoky allure in gilda, as I was putting on shadow. I remembered her point. Line about the movie. every man. I've known, has fallen in love with Gilda and wakened with me. It gnawed at me to the point that my hands started trembling and I couldn't finish my mouth

Suddenly I didn't look radiant, There were lying around my mouth and a hollowness to my eyes. Kin was deathly, pale, carefully applied foundation and blush. I sat on the toilet and started to cry. I prayed snot. Now it was seven. Fifty seven. I have three minutes to wrestle my brain chemistry into submission. Oh sure, I knew there was another option. I could tell Jeff what was going on, but this was a man who didn't even like his peaches brew

What would he think of a damaged psyche, the door bell rang and ring I huddled in the bathroom shivering when it was? Finally, I irene stuff, the rest of my mascara. Tossed my cocktail dress a hamper. Then I button my grave flannel. Ninety. And settled in for the long night to come. I never heard from Jeff again that was fun years ago, five long years of ups and downs of searching for just the right doctor and just the right dose, I've finally accepted that there is- cure for the chemical imbalance in my brain and

more than there is a cure for love, but there's a little yellow pill, I'm very fond of and a pale blue one and some pretty pink capsules and a handful of other colors that have turned my life around stability. Ironically so exciting. I have decided to venture into dating again. I have succumbed to pressure from friends and signed up or three months of an online dating service. Who are you? The questioner asks at the start. I wanna be honest, but I dont know how to answer. Who am I? now or who was? I then every so often The sun shines too bright, and I think for a moment that I this guy. I think how wonderful it was to be killed

if only in my own mind But then I remember the price of the sky So I take off my make up, rumble my hair and go to the supermarket and sweats the gold sequined shirt. wishes in my closet, something Of giving away not just yet coming up another story where a man meets a woman and he super into her but she's not, they for love just yet after the break. When's. The last time you really connected with someone on a date eharmony

seated discover what real connection feels like they know that data. only feels natural. When you find someone, you really connect with someone who gets you through their compatible. eclairs and personality profile. Eharmony highlights more of your personality, so you can meet people who, like you for you No wonder studies show it's the apt that helps users find the most authentic unhappiness relationships, harmony get who gets you get started for free today, hi, I'm megan lauren, the director of photography at the new york times a photograph can do a lot of different things. It can connect us. It can bring us to places, we've never been before it can.

capture a story, any universal visual language, but one thing that all these photographs have in common is that they don't just come out of the ether. We spend a lot of time, anticipating news stories working with the best photographers across the globe. These are photographers who have spent years mastering their technical craft developing their skills as visual chroniclers of our world. You know getting certified as a scuba, diver and learning how to shoot underwater or to document climate change or tremendous cardiovascular training in order to ski on the slopes next to olympic athletes. This is an effort that takes tons of time and consideration and resources. All of this is possible only because of new york times subscribers, if you're not a subscriber. Yet you can become one at and why times, dot, com, slash subscribe,

Imagine this! You meet the person of your dreams. a kind and beautiful and smart and funny they like the same movies you do and then they tell you that their dating someone someone who is very obviously not you that How David Janeiro story starts with some very bad timing money. is enough and test by which they refer to an island. here in europe is new york so first day, I've met. You know there was about seven seven. My friends here is as all coming charged with me and in walks disguise. Do you know those new these? Where everything gets dark set for the person you looking at so I immediately said to myself path that is. I remember seeing dave because I keep plays.

Oh really well think I might have tried to do a bit. You know extra that day on the piano. You know after charge everybody, like to speak thing and only say their hollows or there the buying up down my kind of occurred, a little of this house's I say: hey hey who's this. I think I did shake our hand, but I was dating somebody at the time she wasn't a relationship. I still ask: how do I keep myself fit? We both have like a dry sense of humor. We both I love like the office like we connected over like comedy the one thing I do remember from that time was. This could possibly be not warning. I was a person who was deeply into love. young each hour. Look at love movies, all the time, so Dave doesn't look like it, but one of his face. Movies is a walk to remember,

with many more n. I knew there was something there that was in just fairytale, so definitely said to myself. If it couldn't be, were I wanted, you definitely be friends. We would message each other like we would tat. I guess it was floating. We draw up the report. You can't tell any serious intent. When he's playing around in that lasted years, that most of the times it was me hitting her and she didn't get back to it until weeks later. So I kind of kept him just as a friend, but that still was a constant know, there's something there and I just kind of need to be patient. Twenty. Sixteen just to be front of mind

show in new york one day and that ninety pathway it was, it was shocked, a shock to it it. It was very sad and almost eyes. However, he gave me a sense of grace. as I'm still here he's not here anymore, to accomplish certain things that he had a goal that he acids and for me to still be here. There's some purpose for my life and if I sit down, I won't,

alfriston standing as firsts of it for my music and I changed jobs around so I could focus more on creating, but when it came to a partner someone I could share my life with. This was the time where I said now or never, and that initiated the courage that I had to. make one last attempt and without thinking all I said was hey second actually question: can we go get some smoothies to go? I think he's. He asked me to go out for smoothies. I think that was like our first official date. She goes and I literally jumped out the chair of where I was and walked to the crop, and I did something that I usually do by myself a lot which is just drive around.

We just started driving- and I remember him saying, like you know, seeing somebody who passed away in their prime passed away such a young age when there was still so much work to be done. I know that that affected him deeply driving was our relationship. Definitely first two years, at least by the time. I would get ready to leave work. She will be heading home on the train, so I would cut down to the bronx and pick her up and we go drive. He used to be a cab driver, so he knows like all the backstreets of yonkers, so he would just take me to places I've never seen before it was, the opportunity for open dialogue, things in our childhood that went wrong or things to love that hurt my feelings or I dunno anything you can think of under the sun. That came through on my random conversation. Will talk about pizza and she'll, say something about softball,

I think I saw him in a different light. Rasta like while you know he is a joke, sir he's always happy, but there is more. This is who I want to do life with, I definitely wanted us to get married. so Dave told me the minute I walked into the church. He knew- and I couldn't understand that concept because to me since they carry. You know, somebody is the person for you and you don't even know what they say I got you, don't know what they like. How do you know? What he's You just knew all alone and he said I do and we really like, when stepped over them and I was like well, he was right at their wedding day. Saying this to you now as part of their vows

swell ways then, when the when we know to always be with you on the next modern love tubes. We'll meet at the corner store and even though their strangers they immediately connect as this then he saw be in the way I felt his sigh enemy, my heart like how he sees me how to nurture front that will change your life come up of

The and the Modern love is produced by illicit doubly julio taro. christina Josiah, enhance beautiful its edited by Sarah sarah. this hope is mixed bag in power who also created wonderful, modern love, be music digital. Pretty, Maybe he mature blarney nl globally, an especial thanks to an a diamond at on the model of colonies, edited maintaining johns, merely is that in our modern love projects. I the martin thanks for listening. The.