Hey, what's goin on its bill burn it's time for the Monday morning, podcast from Monday July, twenty fifth, two thousand and sixteen what's goin on how what's going on the final Monday in July of twenty succeed and all freckles all Billy Red Beard of Fuckin Billy fat face for control. The weight off trying at the weight off work out during the day and great having to bear at night fuckin lose in every that he worked for fuckin ridiculous ridiculous. What one or does, and I just I gotta do it. I got a bunch of beers left over from the Fuckin fourth of July there taken up all this space in my legitimate gonna, throw em out. I mean they did this. Children their work in the Budweiser Factory, that fuckin ghetto they sleep on piles, a hey right

hey, I'm twenty nine cents a month. I don't know. If that's true, maybe it's hops. I don't know what they sleep on now. There's no peep! There's no children, there's no children. Working at Budweiser, that's, but man I wouldn't invested. Budweiser there was children, their orders go, go, go Opel Board Largish. We protection issues. My watch on steroids. What movie she blew out or shoulder making an ash show human girl, poor, more brought Joam Garral Shea about dapple Poor, but my balls on somebody's head, I believe an anonymous great mood. Yes, we're got these fuckin bug out all these bears my fridge. One of my group. What am I fuckin we're supposed to do with my kids, romantic botting, tens. I got some men was so I just have like one night right and then able Home poor fuckin whisky, that's all she wrote. That's all she wrote a barrel,

can get buzzed off at two when I wake up the next day, and I feel I just feel like shit- I don't know why I keep doing it. It's a habit. I have to break Maybe I am a one and a half drink alcoholic. I have to have one and a half drinks and get a little buzzed every night. I want it. Fuckin, a meeting is say like that's my problem of get one and instead got off the rails. When I hear what have I to have one mellow light tall and it can and then I'd have a home poor of whisky, and course, after I finish that I would just stop and I go to sleep and the next day I wake up and I'd be totally functional and I'd go to work. But I do know I definitely be a little grouchy and others. My story.

Ok, thank you for sharing. Guy comes up. My uncle rightly want the twelve, but always right pro miata. There will be working to put down a donut. I don't know why the olive southern exits and my everyone in aid from the south. You know why they never got over the war. They still find it down there, South can arise again. Do what. You gonna secede from the union you're going to all Stonewall Jackson, Junior Junior Junior to come back, take over for you! You know what I say too, that I say good luck, die, say good fortune. You know do it just now that she can floored if Canada Florida and you can go to California, we gonna take you kids when they say you know when they did fuckin sit near watching you

federal tv right and it's a small world comes on she's, even more apropos fuck, you say it because you just like. Fuckin states down there would have it how you are right more world after all, we're like you're it what it when they call Father down and whether they call Binnacle Jim Dad on account of this new world. You can cause uses sated, probably union, UK, go to Disney's land and you can't go too was fuckin world. You know where you can go talent, dagger,.

You can go see the Winston CUP Series. Are they gonna water slight out there? I don't think they do. They get a bunch of adults, skip it around and fuckin outfits that scare children they do not. So let me tell you something: fuckin their Mason Diction Mason antics, and why don't you think twice think about everything. You're gonna lose out on a few seceded from the union. No more Disneyland, no more Disneyworld see worlds down there. You know, could see those fuckin fish that don't wanna be there. A lot of people think like fish, like don't give a fuck that therein tank you know just because they d day don't have an ability to speak to us that, therefore that means they have defined with it. We treat fish like emigrants,

of the fishes fuckin, look at you you're, just like spake anguish, probable, tat tanks, broken sit there staring at me, yeah, I'm sorry! You fuckin scaly had be happier in nature get me one more time. Catch Burke and Hare up our above row, you and flower within a wash now. I pray you motherfucker and I'll make you. Brands watch, sit there and fuck and stare at me. Like our work for you. I work for you here today, so I didn't think so anyways. Why are you so off the fuckin walls today? You know why, because I we wrapped at least

script riding part of season two of efforts for family, which means I get to go back to being a fuckin fourteen year old. Who has no job? No responsibilities? No, nothing just a bunch of beers. My fridge that I'm slowly gonna kill. I do the elliptical in the morning and then I give it all back with a can of beer and that's what I do right. While I fucking around my joints. That's all I'm really doing right now, I'm just maintaining there's about what a lot of people in this digital age or just Trying to do what they just trying to maintain just trying to keep their heads above water in this time of Change and robots, it's a big fuckin, dizzy elect is that happened yet. Jesus fucking he could near the goddamn tv but he so fuckin scared. Oh, it's gonna happen nothing

continue on the way it's supposed to go and whether the fuckin com over others, Lamb gets in the it's gonna go in the direction that the money wants to go into and if it doesn't ok, they're going to Dallas right and they're, not gonna, be an attack. They're gonna, fuckin role that sixty three fuck stretched, Lincoln Convertible, that's right, they're gonna, get the all right, they're afraid to their fuckin Jesus Christ, the two with them you know, Their heads, you know if I was in secret service there would be I head size that you could not be above. You know, or else the president would have to sign a waiver just like you know, both of them Hilary and Fuckin in Trump they have. They have like. Like if you could make sliders out a TED Kennedys head. That's what the fuck there

that is the most amazing thing about TED Kennedy. He had the biggest I can add, out of all of us and he'd know: you ever took em out? You know you would think that that Fuckin guy out of all of them, they all had big squashes right. You know it's all good. Looking men don't write, you gotta have a big head, big stupid head. What the square jar that look in your eye, like everything's gonna, be ok, the kind of thing that make women go. You can pay for my stuff right, one of those heads or what's his face, TAT Kennedy was out of his time. No pun intended right. Do you You know how fat people going to get. Do you want to know how big sodas were going to get? Do you want to know how fucking ridiculous

MC mentions in all this shit and all the stuff that we were gonna by the age of consumerism. Right, if you will back the nineteen fifty trying to guess yet a wager which ways it gonna go we're going to go back to live in a dark floors. Lock happens or we can have keg operators in fucking. Chocolate fountains in our house is all you do is look at TED Kennedy said, and we like there is that right there that's an omen nor the interesting thing about TED Kennedys had it was in his entire time. He was alive, it was never backlit. Ever people tried, they just was never enough light

There is not even a picture him like blocking out the fuckin like that. Even the sun could reach around the site. It just became night. You opt out site, hey I've, seen it a big head. You know I got a big head because I do literally and figuratively I get giant had I got a fucking ego and half because I got the whole week off and what am I gonna? Do I'm gonna arrest up get ready for my ear p and tore like the red fuckin? headed whore, that I am I gonna Fuckin Tuesday night, I'm gonna, be it the Steve, Alan Theatre, on Hollywood, boulevard, a pool of art of dreams

to be there and just basically saying my shit, so you know I just what are you Lucius, fuck and say it a few times right, just moderate to myself walk around the block talked myself hands in my pocket vigorously, scratching the side of my Balzac right, having the cops by having them pull over ass can be. What I'm doing too I live around here. Are you a vagrant, sorry You go see Rudy Giuliani speech about the policemen that was one of the funniest pocket things I've ever seen in my life. The way he was trying to get their crowd go, and you know where well, I wanted him to keep going. You know he just basically distract describe police officers jobs, but I wanted him to keep going I wanted him to two to put how wealthy he is and in the info.

She'll friends that he has yet they got there. But you have your lawyer made about the driveway Romeo go away. I wanted. I wanted them to go that far, because here's the deal the way the police have been paid. Now is fuckin ridiculous? It's the same way. You know if one comic sucks than every fuckin comic out there has a lampshade on their fuckin head. Yet I mean there's, definitely some terrible people that are police officers, but that doesn't mean that they're all bad. Ok, Rudy Giuliani, you cared flock instead, there, where you exist in society with your skin color, and think that you can accurately described police officers,

you know you need somebody a little more mid range, or maybe it's good that he said. Okay, now we got the high and right black people. Fuckin said their end. And then you just need somebody in the Middle EAST. I still can't do still can't do it, because a racism bigoted try to balance the whole fuckin thing out, as I did think you know be great with it with the two fuckin cellphone cameras and then the cops film themselves. What would be great if somebody fucked up as a cop if they actually got I or if they actually fuckin, were punished and went to jail, factually murdered somebody not liking to one or two or three people if they actually just started doing that, I don't know, I don't know I don't nocturnal, there's any fuckin solution to an inanimate. It's a hell of a fucking job. They have. We got gonna, walk up to a fuck,

car, not no one. If you gotta get shot or not, that would make me a little edgy. You don't owe me. I think a lot of kids can sit in a fuckin led living room perform that perfectly safe. But, like all done right, like you watch your fuckin quarterback thrown interception, and then you say I wanted dumped that after the tide and I was out what he would we eat. That's what you would have done on your fuckin couch. I think it's an impossible job and I also think that this is an element that job that fucking sadistic psychopaths are attracted to bouncers and all those six, this a lot of people they just want to beat the shit out of me, but that go for their job, then there's other. Once there go there, they have their heart nor right, fuckin place. You know but they don't really make the note you don't owe me it's kind of like comics like every night. We tell jokes, nobody gets offended and then one can't gets fuckin offended evolves. Is that what it says,

bill is somebody getting on our assembly. Unarmed getting murdered is like somebody get in trouble for Caitlin Jenner, joke cheaper thanks for fuck in explaining that one fuck you it's my pockets. Ok, I choose not to read. I choose not to be informed. That's my choice. Oh, like one of those feminists, you know when they fuckin start yelling about they don't tell me what they do and by body right. Don't tell me what to do with my podcast right no more podcast, shaming shit. I had the fucking greatest said. I, fuckin months Saturday, night at the comedy store in the main room, there was a chunk of material. I've been trying to work out. I finally set it the right way and then I came home. I was so coffin and of it. I played

for my wife in even she laughed and that's the deal when you try something new. This is this. Is this is the litmus test, and I mean it. The fact that means are, you know from saying right, litmus latmos modal right. My fuckin test is, I then play it for the lovely NEA and if she fuckin laugh, you can make your fuckin wife get behind the new shit that you don't then you know you're onto something you know because in general, what they do when they first me You d, like oh, my god, you're amazing. I just fuckin Pompey a bright star. Go like world she's, really cool man right and then once they get you once you fucking in the relationship once given the ring and you get married, then they fucking just go

the reins and shot. You can back. Why, right, they start Yegg in the fog back, not cause they're jerks, it's just out of fear. He's gonna, do something new he's gonna find something. No he's gonna find some party. No that's what data Unlike guys, everybody knows that men are totally secure with who they are. I'm just doing this right now for any goes. Listening to this pod kiss next to a woman just listening to her going, let me tell you something lady right! Don't look at him right now, cause he's not say in this. I'm talking to you sweetheart. In the background shaking your fuckin edit, your man, who's gonna die before you. Let him have his laughs. Ok, what you feel right, fuckin now

What a man feels when he comes home in your work and we are watching those Botox, squawk and fuckin horse. Ok, doing the recap: their fuckin season with dead ends. Current whatever his name is that fuckin genius he's like bees. The Gay Byron, Alan Yellow Weather, just found they show where there was no shelf. Everybody was like There's no show here and there You know that guy to be like. Yes, there is not enough a bunch of screamin hordes yelling at each other that someone's going to sit down and watch it every fuckin night. The fact that he then does the recap just sits there. You, don't have to write anything new, they do it for you. He just sits there in effortlessly hostess he's a master. He just sits. That's this fuckin settlers, like a comic, but all it is, is to get these women yellow

each other, any GIS pages just watch the brilliance of that meant. He just fuckin sits there and if its, if it's fuckin simmering, he turns up the heat euro. You know in episode for Kathy She said she had some choice: words in the more that's all. Yes, this guy. What she called me a fucking cut and then she goes and he just fuckin lays back like Ali right and when he was fighting George format. Let's see women start fuckin punching each other out, they run offset any sits there, and this is brilliance of this man is he sits there any actually has a look on his face like he truly gives a fuck like he actually gives a shit about these people he's just so. They're gone as great tv air. We go that just sold some toothpaste and he's just fuckin rake in it and look

guy looks like a million bucks. A lot of people. Don't notice about that. He's eighty three fucking years old. You know everybody talks about Dick Clark, our great he looked right to the fuckin end, well, custody and dead. I should say that, but fucking you know whatever we all go out like that rights, but he's fucking. Eighty three lot of people to another. You think I was a kid. I liked what what thirty seven I have enough. What can I do this guy people hosting real shit. That's fucking difficult! Go why the fuck didn't. I just do that what he is he's doing a sophisticated jerry spring. You know everybody sitting down, there's no punches thrown. They screaming yell. They cross their legs. This is one thing to say about the real housewives. Their fuckin legs are incredible. It's fuckin amazing. Their legs like fuckin twenty two year old, their fuckin faces

well. You know Jesus cry and I got a lot of fuckin nerve saying this considering the way I look considering the way I travel the world. Looking like an albino balding Hellboy minus the Workin out right. I would like the thing if it was skinny and didn't have that skin disease in order me, but yet could not go out in the sun That's what I'm a middle way thing minus one. What's it made out of work. Come on, come on comic cons, utilities, As you know, we turned into that. Was it another accident in a lab? Did he come? from another planet and indeed bit biased spider, and then God, blinded by some shit, now he's a fast and live in somebody's fuckin head. You know

I think a jet real down the middle earth Jesus Christ, just when you think just when with another stupid that the real housewives is the dumbest fuckin thing you're ever gonna watch they come out with another stupid Fuckin superhero movie, Jesus fucking Christ. Can somebody get the just collectively get these nerds some hookers, You know what are they going to do with the kids go on now a days? What is it? What does that? Fuckin enough? It's one of those apps, whatever the fuck. It is, it's not. Is it tender One of them is like the hoary one and then the other ones like who you know I like to call you to food. Three children? You know the dough Shap You got the other ones is like a you know. I got some bows yet ALF

I gotta dangling? I want to stick it in your fucking fuckin ye all their whatever it is. It's fuckin. Amazing god bless this generation. You know me that's fucking great day of that. It's weird every year, like life becomes easier. You have to think less, but it gets more expensive. It's fucking not you know me. I can tell you right now. If there was fuckin free porn and their ways, these dating sites you, how much easier you fuckin life. What about when you were a kid just not having a fuckin got Jesus I'm around the got those stupid fucking you just go, to these fuckin clubs. You know I was gone out there in the fucking laid eighties walking into night club Barbuda popping up and our back. Don't talk, talk adopted, not bad that really is poor.

Anybody, they're fucking, puffy, ass at work, well, we were driving gloves inside for music loudest shit enough Nagy sit there and you fuckin underwear, just scrolling through people like your Fuckin rock star on you know. That shit like how the roads would go out and pick the fuckin women that the ban was gonna fuck, maybe they again, you put your friends gotta stay and then the frontline friend would lavishly like my itchy Fuck and walks away. As for one night with took to fuck that guy some guy from deep purple right. Then years later, the to the meat you know high school reunion. The fucker one that left the other one left me. See behind, is all fuckin know that Mars he's gonna letter now. Husband know that she fucked yeah now

Iraq is player. The moroccan player from the powerful he wasn't, even a full member they decide about without one fucking saw. Could Santana scared? God? I thought that was the direction of music was gonna go. What's they realise that mainstream music was only going to accept one Santana right. And there wasn't gonna, be another fuckin type percent until those guys bumble and then there was Ricky Martin as ever deeper pop pop up with the right. And yours fucking later, if they're at the direct, the fuckin heist the ice Gore Union and she's, just I can with their eyes she's trying to be like so good to Theo. She's fuckin like bringing around like you know, trying to fuckin Saddam.

Fuller and choke around. Like don't fuckin satiating, I've known, then they fucked around. Indeed formal marcy. She just now she's a woman she's. Just not going to come out and say it. Where's the fund there than the then it's over. You know it's like a cat playing with the mouth. She scattered linger, she's, gonna start talking to the husband yeah act at all interests, not looking at fuckin. You know Marcy right and that she's gonna kind of glance. And then she just kinda just slowly. Let it out here. Me and your wife. Here we were crazy back then remember all those concert we went to and she just gonna watch there. If I forget whose marcy at this point the fuckin chick who got lead

Would you say mercies the married one right he's going to see her face book and fall? Is fuckin chick just where the fuck a knife? Is she gonna tell? Is she not gonna tell then she'll back off and change the subject and then should gradually come back a round to end this fuckin guys just stand? There doesn't know a fuckin thing. I'm sorry I was just you know. I was just going to table refer a fuckin,

You play him ready called the marquise. It can't you now and I'm a shop in and around Hollywood forever and tell you is great. Is the script is for whatever fuckin reason? They just cannot get past the title in its justice politically correct age that we live in all right. Let's get to some of the reeds here for this week. For Christ's sake, Bill did. Did you even fucking? Did you even fuckin? Now you didn't Erika area for reads: Indo, Chino, Indo China, who the fuck is this talk about how good it fails to have a suit that is. One of caning is uniquely yours. Talk about how, when you look good, you feel confident, We talk about that. Wouldn't you fuckin right some shit for me to talk about what is this an interview talk about wearing suits are right in China Window Chino are Indo China

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hung Hungary Grand Prix yesterday. Did you Louis Hamilton wins again. Nikko Rossmore came and second and Thou Louis Hamilton. That's it that's the fifth time he won that race. I learned that he passed out. Craig Shoemaker stand up. Median and legendary Fuckin F one driver now, Michael Schumacher, every for every other Grand Prix driver sounds like did the guitarist and scorpions scorpions, I should say, you're fucked up about their tran? I don't know shit about this. Sport just seem. Whoever was in first, like The race was to the first turn, and then it was just fucking over you. You couldn't get past anybody. You know who's the fuck

the tax zigzag and behind the red Bull go back and forth cut off the front of his fucking car was its Sebastian vessel. Was it MAX first step and labour There can be reckoned was the driver. The day I was like a fucking ninety place. They moved up to like seventh, some shit. I agree that adds its warm. Its race for forth was really entertaining, but I didn't I didn't like that. You know there was no way for fucking negro, even try to pass Louis once you get out front that fuckin track was just in a kind of stuff. Like Louis Hamilton, which drive around right the whole fucking time.

You. They would just show, unlike the race for fourth and fifth third, fourth and the like they were on the final lap, and it was so fuckin boring up front. There was still back. You know, watching that guy zigzag hey Formula, one France. I don't understand why they like the fuckin rules while Bill one sure look em up. Well, it's easier to ask you guys. It's also funny. If I talk about him- and I don't know what I'm talking about- don't get out when the guy you cut off the front of his car right, one of the fuckin fence I did find funding They would like people do that all the time and it doesn't affect the performance of the car, doesn't seem to anyways, What they were saying, you are only allowed to make one move like you went to the right, and then he came back to the left and then back to the right. There was considered more than one move and I was just like what the fuck you can't do, that I thought left this behind with the NFL season. You that this is like you he's gotta make a football move that fucking

guy. When you try to go around the other. Do didn't do anything that I don't do when I'm on the highway went behind some fuckin do striving to fuck and slow and the left late right You know what, in a nominal, lemons, second to left land, rightness, some guy drive and medium speed, and then some internet, just making a wall like what the fuck with thought that the bucket fuck and then you go around the right now when I watch the race. It was Louis Hamilton, then Rothberg Remember was a red, bold, then robbery, then a red ball than a ferrari than today. It saying rebel, Ferrari, Ferrari Redbook, so did somebody get penalised? It's fuckin unreal. I don't get it like. It is always like. After the fucker. While you thought you won the race, but somebody said so then a j dont shift in the seventh gear, and there, like all, you can't do that. Don't tell him what he shouldn't do. You know he's only driving a car,

You fuckin miles an hour, one guy spun up. That was that there was a really any crashes or anything like that, but you funny I'm actually totally until my wife can't stand, he says, is one I have it on. It sounds like a bunch of bees flying. But it still fucking cool, shit over. There was probably my ball. The races I watch that's been my least favoured, because there was all this directed dignity. The start of the race was the most exciting than there was just a bunch of people in the back trying to go around people. They couldn't do it, except for Gimme regulate the flying. Fin evidently see the flying, fan. I've no fucking idea anyways, but this is really get me through the fucking dog days. A baseball, I fuckin love baseball, but I just you know I can't get in tool in July in August. I like it in April. You know in the May, you start seeing what's gonna happen and then I just fuckin vetch out Jim

July August the same way? The players do right now just stand up. They like do what the fuck, how many fucking? I d have to play in the regular season before we know who deserves to win the division hundred and sixty five that is net insane. That has to be, if you're, going to own a professional teen, that's gotta! the sport to do it? A hundred and sixty two home games. Your team sellen out the ball Park, Jesus Christ. Those things have to be of the separate. Now look at this. I'm actually do research professional ceiling franchises. I shall put sports in there right now. Something on before can talk to me about Mcdonald's worth the most.

Ok, us is everything: ok, the Dallas Cowboys, for whatever reason are worth four billion dollars. Real Madrid. I'm guessing is some sort of football club in Spain is worth three point: seven billion dollars and then there's another one in Barcelona that also Spain, three point six billion the new. York, Yankees day ago, whether it makes sense that, like the world football, as we call it soccer would be worth that much. Because that's that really is. When you went to world championship. You went in the World CUP you're playing against the Fuckin world right. It's like an olympic metal except you get paid, Then, the New York Yankees three point: four billion then man United, three point three billion

the New England, Patriots, everybody's favorite, fuckin debate on three point: two billion. Then the New York Knicks what three billion Jesus Christ No New York, other alternatives are fixer upper right that New York Knicks or a fuckin tear down. This is weird man, then Washington Redskins two point: nine billion egg shut up. I want this happens. Now you gotta figure out where the fuck, the voices coming from shut up or there it is All right, the Redskins over two point: nine billion. Then the giants are two point: eight building building billion, then the Lakers

Two points set, the Lakers are worth less than the next. If anything says that this state is going to fall into the ocean one day, it's that the fact that the Fucking Nix are worth more fuckin money than the Fuckin Lakers Jesus Christ. What are the Celtics worth God Report's gonna, fucking love that. Well, you know something that actually makes sense, because you know when you move a Manhattan, had you fuckin, you fucking, let me get to the site, I hate when fuck sites. Do this. They just gotta suck the fucking information area. Forbes can give you my fucking emails. Whatso time magazine can start fuckin spam and me I'll take so why Hillary Clinton should be thankful. Election is not today,

Sir pants suits all in the fuckin dry cleaners. Alright, let's that's that's this way aware my home. It's time of forty one minutes. You know some is. It feels like work other days it doesn't have become obsessed with. As of last night is, as you know, I ve been doing this grip. Strengthening and I've been fuckin doing great man. I can go up a peg board now it forty eight years of age, got but climbing rope leaving my skinny fuckin alabaster fuckin albino legs just dangling like a fuckin around a couple of appendix is right Jesus. I never had to make that poor appendix appendixes tits today's. Yet You know what I got, those those atomic fuckin hold, both motherfuckers, better semi, some free shit, I'm sick. I hope in those guys up there, the shit they are the shit. So now

be able to do. One of those is a collar front lever, front lever, and I watched this guy's Youtube video of a reposted, the six easy steps. Love. We need to be able to do a front Lieber. Did you hear about Paul? I do know she's she's a singer and she was a Laker gross national. Now I have to eat my Syria. Ok, thank you. Come onto the MIKE Mike Mike Bay, you do. Why did you do that, above all have door cause I'll follow? How do I know I like making love I had to pick someone you know about, so you go. Did you hear about? While I do like that's why anyone is money. It is money in UK

they're, not like you're, not going to do to me. That's who you pick one of your rock icons. Probably you're gonna help stooping name. Why can't tell you because inside of you surprise me, do it No, it isn't casually Tom, you gonna. Do it secret that the MIA Egg is like a flip? It I don't know it's the morning, still drinks images. I brought a free. Thank you. Well, I gotta do party s views on my right now:

now people Gimme shook as I try not to drink on the might, but I have to hold a microphone, does take us sit and talk to them. Electric, ok! So my snapchat last night, if he s power of ants Nab chat, I made my frisky Smith watermelons use them giving its there who loves a wow taken down like a chap. You give em me anything in this close second down, just like my juice drinking daddy's, medicine, Daddy's, medicine,. I gotta get back to the park. Castnia Tang already, ok, what's dogma, I don't really know this has just been one of the stream of conscious days. That's a whole pile talked about some lady with

basket on ahead, trying to get water for she fought off a cobra. I do remember that. Ok, I also talked about how big the heads are of the people running for president our be concerned. If I was the head of security, ok, what else? That's all I can remember, riveting, ok I'll see,

any dear, but Lady Gaga. She had a meat dress. Alright, let's get to some of the questions here. Oh yes, I became obsessed with the idea that front liver and this guy has a six step thing on how to do it, because I want to be able to do the human fuckin flag. You know that's just a great thing to be able to do if you're, not a gymnast, because people just expect you to be able to do it. But if you just like a dad, you get a couple of kids. You know you're fuckin into roofing. Now that's a physical job, whatever you're fucking build, I don't know It must be something just funny to do that they did. You could actually fuckin do that. Just weird people up their mighty, I wanted to do a bit on these Fuckin cross fit people, but I just feel like it's just too happy in every comics. Gonna have a bid on it. So what what's? Why do these cross? Fifty

Why do they have two likes work out in the Jim and outside wise? It's just so fucking. Look at me were workin out. I work out too. I work out my garage with the fucking door. Closed it's the most narcissistic should give us, even just like the fuckin run down the street with a guide them. Fuck entire by them right, so we show me sure of a guy doing that every tweeted it right running down the street dragon attire. Wages, run up a hell, you're fuckin moron, yet ochres attire edge more difficult when they run up the hill more times increase Europe's you stupid fuck. What? What? What are you training for Stan. I was fucking somewhere and Santa Monica these Fuckin jerk offices like ten of them outside, and they got dino. They got the double fuckin ropes era, thing that date

that the only reason you really need to do. That is, if you're fighting in the. U S see there the only people who seem to need to have to do that, then everybody else wants to be You have seen shape without having actually have the balls to get in the octagon right, so Fuckin dump And the or or even when their inside this like down the street, there's one for me: it's like this giant garage door and they just have it open. Like look at us we're cross fitting. I talk NEA about ass, you say like it was like all the rage to be one of those social media thing and like all I did. You notes. Filming yourself working out hashtag cross Fit is just. What I was asleep when I was a kid. If you wanted people to look at you, got into show business. Ok, you became a male stripper. You told jokes, you joined a band, you know now these

Orkut assholes, that they make a bond cake and they got like fuckin. Eighty thousand fuck it. It's in everybody's walkin around with the same arrogance that I have it's? It's not fair people. I earned my aggregates I'm fuckin with you, work outside you want to run down the street with a fucking tire behind you. You know what I mean. I don't quite understand when to apply the white privilege think because I am white and was getting who I am one of the whitest of all time. You know what I mean. I would say Hitler would not be disappointed if I walked into his office, but I think the red hair, I think I might be out once Chuck white skin Chuck the blue eyes, yeah this month's defective

aren't over if you want to help donate to this podcast without having to do flocking anything except by something on Amazon dot com. Just go to my website, billboard, dot com, Okay and there's an Amazon app there, you click on that thing. It takes you right to Amazon, it doesn't cost you any extra money. I just get credit for driving traffic to their site and then they, me a little dull re me. You don't have to do not, then nobody knows anything, and you know I go out I by myself a ham sandwich. You can do it if you want to get out. That's fine if you will seem to this plot casually, like I hate this thing gee I wish there was a podcast network, then at a bunch of other podcast to choose from I would say to go to all things: comedy dot com, the podcast networks, by myself And Nl Madrigal in a bunch of other people. We got irish fear overdue. I should we go on the website. Right now give you and give you a bunch of fuckin names right

things comedy right. Of all the people I used to board with. All right. What do we have here dean Del raise. Let there be talk. Chris, I have no control over my vagina he do you not fuck it was there. We got stage some all. We got Doug stand up, my fucking goddamn Isaac go, and I can't even read half of these fuckin things are issued. Fears sceptic tag We got with Erin fully supports without balls, I'm maybe we get weak and whatever the fuck you want, we got it over there. All things comedy com. Alright, let's read some shit here for this week. Shall we fifty minutes in

Professor Dick WAD, hey Bill, you hemoglobin laden a wreath recite I'd. Look all of that up Basically, you see, I have a letter read in me. Let a red blood cells. I guess Let's make. This is short and sweet as possible right. Why would the fucking a lecture me you can't? I go to a nice college. I also manage a movie theater in my town to you why, say, also went to manage. Movie, theater my town, also or to two and also mean the same thing right also managing movie theater in my town to commit to that school. I've got a few you said you'd make it shortens sweet that school I've got a. I got. Film studies class with one of those pretentious fucking professors that where's young kid clothes to come off cooler than he really is yeah. You know what that means. He's gonna, fuck, Estonia

I love movies. I've seen plenty of them. That's the reason why I have taken this class. Well, that's great gravitate towards you what what you want every time before we watch a movie in this class to professor asked us to raise our hands if we ve seen it before. I my hand, almost every time that I look around, if anyone else's raising their hand, they rarely are sure I'm a nerd I've seen the fuckin movies. Maybe if you didn't play them standard choices like Casablanca shit. I wouldn't my hand every time I look at you like movies. You doing your homework. Just taking a class on it, you're gravitating towards what you want very nice all right, so anyway, I was just recently hired. I was just recently hired on an employee. Don't you kill me? I just recently hired

on as an employee. You left out the s at my theatre, who also happens to be a student of my film studies. Proof, oh, you went by and employ so anyway. I just recently. I was just recently hired by an employee that my theatre, who also happens to be a student of my film studies, professor, but in a different class at a different school. I think I, vague what you are trying to say that as a joke one day, I asked the kid. So does MR someone so ever talk shit about our class dick? looks me square in the eye and says yeah? Actually he does. I did so and so says. This is one kid in your you're you're all bless you mean Yawls Class, who always is this here when he asks me seeing the movie, but really, he probably hasn't then he looked around the wrong to make sure everyone is looking at him to know he seen the movie before

that's hilarious, disguise gettin in secure you you're, making teacher and secure got gotta Jesus, that's probably wise! We're the young people's close he's talking shit about the other car. To make himself seeing cool this guy's, a fuckin, this guy's a bitch. I don't like this teacher they go, sell there. We go this guy talk, shit about media was other classes one hour I'm doing is generally raising my hand after being asked if I've seen the movie or not in any other Kay said probably just confront. About this, but I do want to risk failing the class or something petty like that and my over thinking this watch it I do here. I'd walk right up to the guy. I just boy who gives a fuck this fuckin, insecure cunt. He'll probably give you a better Gregg is with his need to be like just walk right up to beg jealous of men. This seems to be some confusion on your part that you see

Be trying to work out what the other class as to why I raised my hand. Every time I happened to love movies, I work at a movie, theater ok and I've seen all these movies, and I look around just to see if anybody else as seen them these, because I love movies, and I want to talk to people about movies. If you don't want me to keep, you know, raising my hand, stop doing this paint by numbers based course, shit movies that you keep picket. What are gonna have next the days of thought. You ve me shit, you're gonna company come dress like you'll, get you go into a fuckin. Yeah, I wonder, though, the young kids listen to our you just go see the weekend set. The right thing was the other guy who's, the wrapper who one all the Fucking Grammy's Kendrick Lamar, I know who they are right. I don't know if you were there socks, I know the weekends

City starts off, go where you could actually play the beginning of the week, and I think next to it as much as they probably dont like his skin color. They probably play that when there are abducted to try to get the young ducks in our and all this fuckin, fuck it with the I live. I am a fan of the weekend. There was very little I'm letting it was hardly that last joke. I went to power a Billy calorie camp. Thoughts on Melissa, Mc Caskey, gettin fly for losing weight, my first thought. Almost Mccarthy I did a movie with her a number of years ago was called the heat directed by Paul Feig, starring, Mccarthy, Sandra Bullock, and that's where I first met Michael Rapport, Europe

drop in names all over the place and she is truly one of the most naturally funny fucking Holler is human beings. I have ever met and she's an app. Loot, sweetheart. So I didn't realize people give. Why would you give somebody flax for losing weight? Aren't you supposed to say hey great job good for you. You know anyway, so people are saying she's doing it because of Hollywood pressures, so fuckin them people just as there is no that's not what it is. It It's it's! It's the same, townie mentality when you're you're deciding that you know wearing your football jacket and continuing to dry in the local bar you want more out of life and then all gone. Like all of them. They don't want to see her get her shit together. You know, misery loves, fucking company, you know would stay here would be out of shape. Good far, financing

what kind of an asshole would simply makes a positive move and their life tries to make it negative. Well me, I'm a comedian. I do that all the time, but besides people and was these people who always say you should be comfortable here? body, no matter what you look like completely ignore basic information like logged arteries and such absolutely? Maybe Melissa, CART, Mccarthy doesn't want to die of a heart attack because she wants to meet her grandchildren. One day I lost thirty pounds since listening to fetch everyone. I honestly. No, I was getting fat. I was never fat ever but then three years at an office job in college of twenty four put on the ground, thirty. I recently lost year due to twenty four man you were headed towards been you're. Gonna die fewer thirty pounds of away at twenty four. That is not a good thing. So grand patients anyway, she said, I feel a thousand times better. I never looked fat because of a tall guy and carry it well. So I never heard anything from anyone.

Did it on my own for myself, these fat defenders are eagerly judging and assuming thoughts on this. Also, when the fuck do we get to see Jim Video. I want to see you Hasty legs dangling from a polar bar like Hang it in a locker, you fuck it cuts. No, this is the thing about this business. The only pressure that is as far as I'm concerned. The only pressure in this business is what you x you An individual choose. To accept our right and everybody Does it to a certain point when you first get into entertainment, because you don't know what the fuck you doing you come into this business your hat in hand, you like I'll, sweep the floors I'll, do whatever you want just Gimme stage time I'll I'll drive to another state to do five minutes for no money, five dollars gas money. We all do that shit, but at some point

then have to put a value on what the fuck it is. You don't write and then you start getting paid. Then what happens you like, oh fuck, it out. You know you get in this business. It takes a while to get going and everybody starts creeping into thirty. So you start freaking out go now, what is what is the industry casting? What are they looking at? What is the blah blah blah and all that type of shit? Okay? Now a lot of people do not ever get past that because they don't put a value. On their talent and I'm not even talking monetarily. This is just our belief system. You have to believe that you something to say that you know can't be married to the results you just gotta. Do that zen thing like I'm talking about this shit, I'm doing this and like take me right, I came in the business. I write a fuckin red, headed cunt mail. You know so from day. One does not get to be a lot of rules for me.

There's, not a lot of red headed male leads in shit. You know, I'm the friend right! That's the deal it's! Our works. The ready to mail is not the fuckin cool guy. So to make matters worse. I start losing my fuckin air and I was like now. What do I go out get plug? knowledge and just one. Right up. You know NEO just just buzz you fuckin head down just like I just came this epiphany of just like your bill. Why you walk around like you losing your fuckin here is a big deal, descent, Megan funny anymore visit me would, you know, Are you going to be the next Brad Pitt? If you kept your fuckin here right and then I just suggest fuck it so then I did it and this and I ve ever since I had the philosophy of basically This is what I look like, and this is what I'd do if you want to book me. Thank you.

If you don't. I understand the second I wanted to that mindset. I never fucking stressed again, so I really think but I also, I think it has more to do with you know why you got into this business to stand that when you're young, but as you're getting older, you have two fuckin. It really has. Then do with Hollywood. I also, I think it has more to do with you know. You got into this business. You know the self loathing you know and in not liking yourself. I think, and I have to Are you this past weekend I watched Alley Wong Special and it was so far great, and I was sitting there with my wife and I was saying like what I loved she went out there and it just was. She was fucking original Oliver stuff was just you just fuck. It was just

great set. It was worthy like this. There really was a stand up special and you know she's she went out there. You know enemy was making a big fuckin deal that, like because she was pregnant, that she did Almah good, are all these fuckin questions this day why they did that. Has no one's ever done that, but they should be questions about how great the material was, but I was to my wife knows watches I gotta see this. She had spent so the dew and she didn't give a fuck that she was pregnant and she just walked and then she owned it and now what done issues stab wished herself tat now she can display. Sickly do whatever the fuck she once she wants to have another kid she can literally go on tour while pregnant, because she's a stab This is why I am is what I'm doing a married, I'm starting to fuck family and I'm writing killer jokes. This is what I'm doing now, all these fine

in feminist who sit there going early again, Hollywood won't, let you be pregnant. I would argue you giving them way too much fuckin power way too much power just go out. Every fuckin woman out here just started getting pregnant because they wanted to and continue to go on, auditions the whole fuckin business. What adjust you make it just to you right? then the other fuck a way around and if you haven't seen her special, you know you know a lot of the hype on. It is the fact that she did at seven months pregnant, but I'm telling you just as someone who still if you know belongs I've been doing this. A huge fan, stand of comedy. You know it's that the jobs of I'll fuckin kill the subject matter, all of it. It was just like you know, God knows, is a zillion fuckin specials out there, but you know every once in a while. You know some comes out like with with that. That was that was

one of the best ones I've seen in a while, so I guess I would tie, Oh, that, back into that, it's like, I would say that she's losing weight, yeah she's married she's got kids in north fuck does want to lose weight. I'm trying to lose weight, no wants to walk around being overweight is not fun. It is easier, People who gives a shit about that? I would just say it up. I feel bad for because I know they don't wanna be out of shape to make. This is to take. Being proud to be out of shape as acting proud to be like a fuckin alcoholic. You know No, you got issues you fuckin heart, isn't fuckin excited that you're over wait like that's right, though, every pound of fat is five miles, a capillary you, don't you get twenty pounds of weight,

our hearts, got a fucking go an extra hundred miles. Every fuckin beat you stupid. It's not it's not a good thing to be doing so. Congratulations are enough. I'm struggle right now to lose weight. I'll, tell you! It's not easy Oh Billy, booze bag are christian girl, sexual boundaries, hey Billy, boy, Burma. I listen to all your specials more. Bill times in really loved the advice segments you do on your part. Guess I'm back home for the summer from my first year college and I'm hook up with this six to ten Christs, what our six out of ten christian girl, the last couple of months, the school, I barely even just retained any that gives us hope and everything that I said came off is positive and that lasting many, whether we really this I've, listened very sad that the day before the summer,

can open up of this group, the six out of ten christian girl. The last couple months to school, they encounters basically consisted of me aggressively finger. Flatland jeez easy finger. Blasting her took quench, her sexual deviancy. I love out you're just fuckin innocent in all this and are giving my. Oh, ok! Ok, This is a woman rightness in her given my carpet. A midnight snack. What I a guy, why you say in your carpet given MIKE but a midnight snack while jerking me off. You lost me in that one. What is your carpet? You pukes. What is this snack? Could you come on yourself? I don't even know what's going on here, only what she's a device

Christian, so she won't get involved with oral sex or anything further. The thing is I d of boundaries are pretty amorphous on what that meets. You fuckin asshole. I gotta look in our actually keep doing this. Maybe I'll get smart one day. A Morpheus amorphous without a clear define, shape or form. Had I never hear that while fucking life this, so We fuck unworthy english language, then, and there we said it by Willy use like nineteen of a former curse words. Are it she's me too pleasure her with the hills of my screwdriver. Due you from another century, what the fuck is a hill to set the handle don't know why I even had won a college and jerk me under her face when we took a late night sleep over shower together

but that's not really Aphasia when the waters right there, you don't meet. That's like you know run we're going to walk on some hot rocks and he just fuck into a running leap and touch one for half a second. You keep going right, she's also being is I pick it up dog shit with the little fucking plastic bag around you and you know you still touch dog ship, but you feel the warmth of it. But you know boundary there she's, also into being choked and tied up their Jesus fucking Christ up during dry humping. Apparently that stuff still christian enough for her. I've had sex a few times, before this, you why you judge in this girl so harshly right. This is this good thing. This is where she's out just fuckin relaxing Gavin a hell of a time, does I had sex if you type for this girl and know that even protected fucking is infinitely more profitable than source masturbation. My question to you is: do you think ever realise how ridiculous it is too. A load on her face but not accept cunnilingus? Was

you ever want primarily sex. I know I should go to a gym. Lose this girl some sleek and take advantage of the Pussy Colosseum. That is my universe, camp universally campus, but I'm lazy and want to fuck the low hanging fruit. What can I do to convince her college sexes, natural wholesome. It would make her feel incredible thanks so much and go Yourself, I would say you should let this girl go, because you don't have a feeling for users. Are you using tourism fuckin blow up door just say. You know I know I should go meet some other people, but this girls and easy fuckin sex hook up. I don't know I mean meantime: is she getting feelings for you, because It is sit now hanging around waiting to be able to fuck her so that you can then leave You already saying she's a six out of ten. That's that doesn't sound like you. Have feelings for so I'd? Let her go! I let her go I find some girl interests and just.

Let him know so, I'm not judging you do. What you got to do early on in this is what nobody ever tells young men. It's just just out of the gate. Tell women what the deal is alright to believe it or not. They can have for me that they know flip out. When you just say, yeah there's no way, I'm gonna marry. You now. If you say it right from the beginning. The second you made a bright if you're not fail in anything, but you just attracted to just tell them that I just fuckin. Let him get off work it may be there in the same place you are, they just want to fuck, they don't want to have a relationship, but if you get into that type of the situation you gotta make sure they do you gotta have like you know: you're fucked,

Then you don't call each other a talk or do anything else. You do not hang out and there's gotta be at least ten days between the fuckin hookups or somebody such fail in something, and then it's a fucking mess or they get jealous cause you with somebody else or whatever you know what I mean. This is what you fuckin say from day. One you get tell him that are still we'll get a hook up anything you ever wanted to fucking. Do you could do with me you're not going to get judged? You have to worry about getting judged cuz. It is what it is right and then that's it, we now call each other. This is what we just fucking use each other for this and it. You feel minority if you're not in a fucking relationship? I don't give a shit if you data other people, believe it or not. You come out of the gate with that shit, you would be surprised. How many were We are also looking for that too great for FUCK Buddy is its greatest thing ever Quaid is fuckin thing ever it's like having fuckin,

I don't know. Free tickets to Disneyland you get the right of the fuckin rides. You know you got vip part, king. It's like order and repeats its tremendous in. You know what women also or a pizza. If you know what I mean itself have fun with that, but let this girl government first time fly. Thirty years of age, hey they're Billy, the Ginger bats, just one is been a huge fan for over ten years and have loved every special you had well. Thank you very much, I'm thirty! never been on a plane in heights kind of freaked me out to top it off my flight is on nine eleven and makes two stops in between here Connecticut Chicago. Go there for my job. But I really hate to miss out on the opportunity. Basically, I'm just looking for vice, and how to not freak out and looked like a fuckin idiot on the plane, seeing as how you ve had

how much experience flying. I figured you be a good person to talk too thanks and go fuck yourself. Yes, no big deal it's completely safe and you know you're gonna be fine. This is a deal you gonna go up there right this you do get on the plane and then just say to the person next G again believe it or not. This is the first time I've ever flung, hopefully not next to a douche if they seem open. Just tell him that I refer to the limit. And if you ve ever just stopped on the gas, when you can drive a car and you just get backing, you see it's just sort of like that, and then you fuck it up in the air in a secure sing, ever fucking, great and you're gonna go from Fuckin Connecticut to Chicago in like fuckin two seconds we get to stop there. Ok, let's call be fought. Well then you'll be a veteran by the end of it and yet come to the other that fuckin twenty first century, you're gonna be fine. What I would say is just

make sure you eat well before you go to the airport, you know maybe bring some food to go onto the plane you now because the food on the plains sucks it's fuckin, overpriced, and that type of thing you know, that's your thing. I'd say other than that you have nothing to worry about its gonna, be great, get a fuckin window seat to if you can't as the best first, I'm U flag at the looked out its actually pretty it'll be doing that it thirty years of age, as you can actually take it, and you know, like first time I flew out, was so young that I don't have a have that like all this is what it looks like from the fuckin here. You'll be fine! William I've been dating my girls. This last one and then I got I gotta get off my day here of doing absolutely Why were you? I've been dating? My girl, for a few years now, and everything started out great, however, over the course of past few months, I've noticed a sudden change in behaviour was wondering if you dealt with anything like this before yes she's, either using drugs or fucking, someone else or she's depressed

If read the rest of this. Basically, when we hang out lately, she just won't stop asking questions. She may ask: what are you listening to? I may say the billboard podcast than she will ask why, I don't know because I enjoyed me says then she will follow it up with. Why dont you listen to the radio or another pocket and down the rabbit whole? It goes like this person already thing is these questions are nonstop and so subjective? It got to the point where straight up asked her if she was trolling mean she denied it nothing else than relationship is going well. So I'm not sure what to do. I've talked to her and told her. She asked too many questions. She then turns around on me and says I never want to talk to her. Any option turns around on me and says that I never wanted to anyone anymore. That's not talking just asking a bunch of fuckin question show what should I do break up a third just answer the questions. What would

You do bill why your name bill anyways? Why not Dave half? Why isn't it Dave Bill? Why are you wearing a bill? Don't want it. Getting more wisely podcast and our anyways? Why not an hour ten or fifteen minutes how bill the F r? I do. I just walked in your shoes there yet day outbreak up other break up with it. I do maybe a, but if you really like her, I give a one last chance and just be like just tell you drive. Fuckin insane. And yet you just you drive me fuckin saint. I like everything about you, but that if my life

with, you is gonna. Be that I'm gonna leave ok by me also dude. I don't know how people change changing yourself, who the fuck you are is really difficult, so hopefully at work out with you. So that's that's what I would do. I would just say: listen I like everything, but that everything about use great except for that, but that is so fucking terrific. This is gonna, walk out that door the door, if you don't cut it up, that's it! That's it. If I could redo my whole dating life, it would have been fuckin communicating strategist, we're gonna, get shit What was wrong, you say nothing, I'm sorry that your fuckin work out. They work Ok, that's apologize for this week, I'll fuck yourselves I'll check it on Thursday. Everybody has been listening to the podcast and obvious. Yeah I'm beyond excited to do this tour.

Starting Tom. I got the thirty first not starts the thirtieth. Doesn't fuck out of here. Ah, my shows until thirty. First, what what are you know I'll ever next day, therein I and here it is the case you listening. Dublin, Ireland, Belfast and Galway than Bristol Uk Manchester UK wish publishes set dates July. Thirty. First, some in Dublin August: first, I'm in Belfast August. Second, all way. Then I go over to England in Bristol on this. And on the fourth them in Manchester, you know it's in between Bristol in Manchester John Bottom. Grave site. If I have time, I'm gonna pay my respects, I'm not. Do a fuckin selfie like a douche, just go pay my respects. If I have the time August, six

in six them in London, England August Seventh, Amsterdam August eighth Mean Ed For to shew August knife, In Edinburgh, for two more shows the fuck doing all right there August eleven now wait a minute yeah. I did say Amsterdam right. On August seventh August, eleventh them in Cologne, Germany and then August twelve in Antwerp, Belgium and then August, twenty seventh, I'm in Reno Nevada back in the USA right everybody. Thank you for listening, a thank you. Everybody overseas has been done by tickets. I can't wait to come over. Make you laugh alright, go fuck yourself I'll talk to you on Thursday.