« Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 9-1-14

2014-09-01
Bill rambles about breaking up with a friend, Knoxville TN and sophomore year of High School.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey, what's goin on his bill burn it's the Monday morning, podcast from Monday September. First, two thousand: fourteen Bob Bob Bob Bob Border border, booted, Ubuntu Bird, but that that bear each some fuckin shit, fetid fatted fashion You guys ready per football sees in time work out every body this summer resolve the summer, is over time to what people in way better shape than you make your way more money than you wish. You gets fatter and Dahmer on our about you guys right. Fuck awake. Ok, Putting away my little speedo fuckin bathing suit for the rest of the summer, I am now take it out my football shit jurors visa. My stupid fuckin hard had that I put those construction. You know I don't do construction, but I have a fuckin logo on the side of J that so we did that back
I think the steel fans were the first ones to do that. They actually were building bridges and they actually worked a construction sites. Then your while you just kind of look at somebody going like a set of former out the etc. A cow, I think, is an account tat. Big fuckin construction had anyways himself. Lacking beyond excited. That is football. It's been a while it has been a while, since I got this excited and What should have been a college football? I did my usual La Rudy. Having been a why route against elevator, I dont really not like them. I'm a fucking Unama! Guy from to choose its. Where do I get off not liking? The Alabama crimson tide of you, fuckin sacred tired. You know I just some. I fell in love with Alice you and I every second of that game preserves do now the wonderful oddball tour, but. Yeah. I guess you down by twentysomething making,
back in one, so that's great that they did dapper. That's not really them Ass, a way to start, you know against boring Ass fuckin Wisconsin: what are they do? Run the ball. The death, I'm just fucking with me Wisconsin right. I just wanted to get you up off the couch away from that giant, fucking, cheese block or whatever the fuck. It is doing. Ok, there with his in her cargo shorts on cargo. I can't talk fuck you up cut off a plant and I ran out to do this on labour day. Happy labour day, everybody. Help you fucking, know I'll, be right, listen this right now, because that would mean that you're out with some friends and shit right, my shoes this later, at which point you know maybe had falling out. Maybe finally, just fuckin broken: for somebody already remain in like a romantic way.
Like you had a romantic relationship? Haven't you just fucking get rid of a friend? Is this a great New Year's resolution and make in September September. First Isn't it the chinese Year New Year or somethin, the year or the oscillating fan, whatever the fuck it is. I don't know that's a great thing to do. Especially after the panel old you're dead, friends for a long time. This there's gotta be one of em. You gotta be like you know what I'm just sick EU shit, I'm sticky! No, I'm sick of the ride, they say fuckin ride and it ends up with it. Biology is your Poland into the station dude, I'm sorry, but blah blah blah blah, and then we you get off the right, you don't you stay on, and here we go again going up the hill, but the put that through every seems good everything seemed God. They fuckin crossed the line again Then you go around the fuckin rollercoaster. That's the big goddamn frightening napoleon yeah you're right
Sorry, you know I've just been going to some shit lately, but Papa Papa and then you're forgiven ass, says it's ok, you get back on the fucking right again get off the Fuckin right, Is there a talk, show about the that's all The talk shows about romantic relationships, but is there anything out there? They just talks about forgets that court tvs friendships gone wrong, no stupid tv You said there screaming, and everybody is trying to get you to quit flipping channels. What is about watches somebody get yelled at you, just have to stop and watch I hate. Those judge shows I don't care about the people I don't care about their fuckin problems and now you know he took one of the fucking pickets out of my fence, so I threw them.
Dog, shit over his fence, then he fucking pissed in my car. I made money that not even that compelling you don't dumbing down to the level of my act, And that's basically what's going on and then at some point somebody talks and then the judges gotta starts screw Meaning yellin I had other the actual authorities still of a judge. You don't owe me you shouldn't. It should be like optional, whether you listen to him at night and I don't give up. Are you people out there right now? Go will actually no judge water was actual judge. Italy's people, I don't give a shit the second, you're on tv- and I judge anymore. That's like the old timers game for judges. You know like we were the all star game right: eleven old rod career will come out and all the great get off when they swim
the bad they could barely fuckin run preserving their sixties. As you say they would these judges once you go on tv you're, not you not yet anymore- I don't think unless you're in show business and you were dancing monkey from your first fuckin open MIKE like what's his face. The guy looks like fucking, cop from the nineteen seventy stock to fill a crooked carpet that right that guy he's not a therapist he's not have first anymore, he is a fuckin tv star with groupies right. Cain. If we want to start a therapist in one of talking about I'm, not a fuck. I got onto this thing. All I know is its labour day. Ok, I ETA and its citizens of perfect fuckin holiday to set off the football season. You know the one
a week that one game that fuckin couch, they all cow, because his only sixteen of a tailor all import to gain losing streak, you're you're in trouble right, not football players have been workin out, all God, damn some. To get into peak physical condition and what better way to honour them than to sit down and just completely blow out your fuckin body. That's what I plan on don't sick of this fuckin workin out shit, I wanna fuck and I wanna grill. That's what I want to do for the whole football season, fuckin grill, something different wipe. I would like to do it like an angel I'll fuckin. We re metal but knows you're my dreamy eyes, I'm gonna add another compliment to every physical thing that I have done. I should say dreamy eyes a go make it easy. If you guys my confident forehead that needs
Anyways, that's what I want to do and I actually have a little bit of time off this year causa I just decide to take some fucking time off work as I get the NFL package every year, but it usually like hey. I got flying back from the fuckin road. I already know what happened and I sit down like a sort of fast forward, my way through the game, but I'll get to go to all emotion of it, namely that type of ship. So this year this fucking. U I plan on, don't it. I plan on doing so I don't, I don't really know. What's Goin on a football game, I watched I watched, I watch West Virginia MRS Alabama, and I really resent the highlights of that game where they just keep shown Alabama scoring when wasn't some major concern going on down there and Tuscaloosa either as I tweeted for those you follow me on Twitter, there was a close fucking game
I didn't see Ella issue, but I imagine I wanna been impressed with them either if they got down by twenty something I know the fact they were playing Wisconsin. That's right brought it up, but and I was it me, but that was sort of sports be a cupcake game for Alabama and they are now by the way is laying kitchen whatever the fuck a name is, is he associated with Alabama? I wasn't sure the first fifty eight fuckin times they showed that guy. What was the big fuckin deal? You know. The idea of a great job of Tennessee told them to go fuck themselves. I'd rather be out here, and you will see you know tag in somali- would pussy. Then he went to the, can raiders and always back their gives. A shit he's a coach. Yang around long enough, you're gonna get fired a whatever Orpheus smart enough
to leave early, that's a game. I want to see. I want to see when Alabama. Goes up to ten. Seeing is the first time laying kitchen Has been there since you fuckin left out for those you don't watch college football. They take it really seriously. Down there in the south, especially in the Assisi and by the way to go Great commercial now how they swept all the awards, any fucking, major award that you could be. That could be one last year, the SSC did it. That's never been done by any conference and they won the Fuckin national title. So I think they have bragging right straight across the board. Everybody else ass, the pipe down but ass when he was they take. The ship will seriously sought their Knoxville Tennessee for those you never been there to the eastern part of the state. It is on EAST Coast time. Ok, if you thinking about driving from zany than now
fell to drive over to a fucking game. You will lose in our ok and you might MR beginning at the game, but you can still drive back and make your shot right, although I never did it, it was just gonna be too much of a fuckin thrash, but that is one of my bucket less games. I want to go to that state him with the protein a catch I'll fucking. Now you know and zone painted, never gone. I told you not to go out there and we got from Tennessee right and he felt said: their animals don't go out there and just like what the fuck's gonna happen to me are put on a Tennessee hat and I'll just fucking. Whatever they say I'll just say too lax. That's right! You thought you know it. You know. They just over a year, and I will just keep walkin in nobody's gonna fuck with me. That's gonna go see so anyway. Is laying captain was the head coach attention
in a tent, see as a sort of up and down, but I mean, generally speaking as a respected programme. As far as I know, and what I know of it was, since you know, Pate Manning was there I don't know shit about someone to talk about it without knowing and are you people Well could tell me what a dumb fuck I am, and I don't give a shit like you, listen as long as you listen so anyways. He goes there and he's going to turn the programme around right, yet Bab Bab back, whatever the fuck its they also on the same right: bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, that's all the same pocket, Zog anyway, she's gonna, go. There's gonna turn this fuckin programme around and then all of a sudden you see out of nowhere united propagate the big long speech. You no returns programme round tat. She had long. Stored history. Your bar, when I die plan to restore their blah blah blah us all. These fuckin knock civilians, ok
about their shining up their smokers, thereby an extra and to their careers. The visor on their had even farther they get an extra oily rag and their back pocket. They fuck in they have body until the lane have given era whatever's buccaneer on privacy in IRAN. I don't give a shit. I should, but we look it up laying different right and then Nowhere middle of the night. He accepts a fucking job with. With you, I see any just fuckin leaves Guess tat was really embarrassed in February. In ten seekers they didn't date. They don't. They view their school as a destiny school. For a coach like there being head coach, Are the volunteers should be your dream job? We have one enough games. We have done enough things that we should be the hold that status and he treat them like a stepping stone. You know like some
but she was banging on the side and then his fuckin wife called any fucking comes one in home. So, basically, can't stand this motherfucker and down so the way said I wouldn't get in trouble when I went out there, because I would just where Tennessee hadn't haven't affected action, they would give a shit they be so drunk, they would notice. They wouldn't look and be wisest german, irish guy talking like he's on here. It wouldn't register baby like a rat, Are you crazy people who we are but laying is gonna go back and he can't do that. Shit he's gotta come back where in Alabama he's got away Burma Fuckin colors, team named after the detergent. I thought that you know something if West Virginia converted on a couple more plays
that fucking game could have gone the other way, but you can also say about Alabama mean that one poor kitty drop like a fifty yards bomb was right in his hands. So I know you can see that, but it was way closer than the way they showed the highlights, but up anyway, I'm really excited that that college football is back, like to watch Assisi football. I fucking love it. It is the best animals so excited to see other conferences to try to dethrone, okay, so It's what happens on. Seven may on Saturday right and then on Sunday you got you got proffer pro football is such a great army and then you also baseball games are starting to matter like I'm actually start to pay attention to my my fuckin, my deep, my Detroit TIGERS oh Billy Bandwagon is the Detroit span. Why why you was because I guide bought in,
fond red Sox season tickets this year and I lost my fuckin short I know I live out here, puts the fuckin red Sox. They just won the world Series, they can. I, whenever I don't fucking go to, I can throw up and step up our right in summer will by monopolies break even, but when you. Just never gets they never got going. This whole year gives Get out badger team is at some point. They they put together. A little bit of a streak gives the fan. So little bit? I hope it. Never fucking happened and I'll ships is Andrew. Talking about the fucking podcast hours, so text anyways and they never got going and I've just lost my fuckin short sharp last game of the year. I have tickets, it's gonna be Eric cheaters last time it family part. Now
Could sell those two tickets and make some of my money back or I could go back and pay my in respect to one of the best baseball players I ever saw both on and I feel the hallway conducted ambassador, the fuckin games. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna fly back to the game now, if the Yankees don't make The play off. That is his last game. He ever fucking place. However, if the tigers shit the bed, did they got a foreigner. Half game league is a guy. One gave one game at hand. They play one less game, I should say when, given Hannah Guess is given as hockey, but what, if they should the bed than the Yankees they get in and then a kindness that as big a moment, so I'm not being a Yankee hater here I just a selfish man where I want to go to his last game ever See his lasted bad remains that some that's as some legendary shit right there.
When I was sure TAT Williams lasted bad Fenway or whatever citizens is probably the biggest lasted bat in Finland, now think about come on you, who plays in the baseball fantasy leagues when he stared guys, whose, though then said Williams, who had the most famous lasted bat. I got me Augustine's, give jester of big time red Sox activity. Next biggest red sock after him would be Carl Yastrzemski. Unless you want to count Babe Ruth's last fucking at bat, for we sold them to the Fucking Yankees any kind of fat did. I was drunk at all times what we want three, whatever is gonna, go to fucking shit all go down there. If I, to the Yankees they share a stadium. Do you realize that you before
Bruce came near. The Yankees were like the jets euro. Whether jets waited giants stadium. The Yankees pleaded the polo ground, which was the giant stadium and they babe Ruth comes down there. And the next thing you that's why they call the house that Ruth built, as far as I know, as far as the drunk people, that I've been talking to sports bar, I bought sports, but I think that that's how that that's, how the story goes so anyway say they did. Did you did you sports. Talk for the week are right. Now, let's get to were: let's get the pain for the downstairs here. Dollars shave club everybody? Nothing? it was better than for a shave with a fresh blade right. Nobody can argue that its. Oh it's close in the blade is a sharp as its ever going to be. It's absolutely fantastic, but thanks to big shape companies, big shaving companies, ridiculous prices,
you can't really afford to be blown all your cash every week on fresh new can you so? What do you? Do you try to what on amazing. You drag that doll s blade across you fix for two weeks three weeks, ten weeks up your face. Why you do that? You yourself, maybe because you anything painful than shaving, with an old lady shelling, thirty bucks for a pack of new ones. If you want to enjoy fresh blade every week, but you don't want to get take out a second mortgage on your house. You got a job in dollars shave club, dot com for just a couple of bucks. A month I was shaped club, dotcom ships, you highest quality blade you can get, certainly always six box for the best quality blades you can get so every week you can properly fresh blade, entreat yourself to an amazing shave that awful killing a dragon that old razor. It's it's out the window, it's incredible the shooting many years ago. God bless these bastards over here, a dollar shape club for common up
this you can join dollar shape, club dot com, get amazing quality blades in the mail for just a couple of bucks a week. Our treaties, after new blade every single week, hundreds of thousands of guys have upgraded their shaving with dollar shape club dot com, and now it is your turn, your notice, turn sorry shape. Time shaped money, dollar shape, club, Dotcom, Slouchburg, that's dollar shape club dotcom, slash per day, I'll bet which they had that when I was just a youngster I used to do that exact thing. I would make a pack of blades laugh last for a year and a half neck all broken out stamps dot, com, everybody. I know it's deciding where to focus your resources to grow your business. But one thing I and tell you you don't need to. Is valuable time going through the post office or mailing in shipping. Just you. Stamps dot com to access all the services of the post office. Right from your desk, twenty four seven withstands dot com. You can buy in print
So U S posted using your own computer and printer. Posted for any letter, a package, any class of male, all for just a fraction of the cost of an expensive postage. Meter staff. Dot com you'll never have to go to the post office again, so you can spend your time what matters most focusing on your business. I use they have to come to set out my posters, my dvds, my t shirt whatever crap himself at the end of my shows, I am a moron. If I can figure out, use the scale and the computer and all that crap. So can you right now use my last day. Barbie you are for this special offers. No real trial, plus a hundred ten, a bonus offer that includes a digital scale and up to fifty five dollars free postage, don't wait, go to stamp out com before do anything else, click on them. I found a top homepage. I've been Bur, be you are ok, we'll get to the other ones later. Just at this thing up here our. Let's talk more about so this weekend. I had such a great time,
did the the odd Baltimore remember that the oddball slash pay for Billy's basement here. It was just a great time at any time you now I dont get to see those guys, everybody that I toward with and we went out. We had drinks. I don't remember the fuck. We were read somewhere in Michigan. They book to set these Anti Theatre so, like you know the gigantic, so they need gigantic parking lots of London Really and major cities, so I landed in Detroit and die. I fucking love that city man. I really love at sea. I swear to God, I swear to God. I want to find a couple of investors and I just want to buy a block. You know this by a block of it. You re do it. You just make it some late night shit couple of clubs,
not all, but you need a grocery store to make people move in. That's what it that's why I've for years? Why look the Cleveland and I looked at Detroit Buffaloes? That is bad, but even like Buffalo, you just look. It's like. I was gonna. Take you just do these fuckin buildings are beautiful, but every time get their gets a little bit better. So every time I go to Detroit a little bit better cleavage like fuckin does all kinds of building goin on I like all of those I like all, Are those cities a lot like? I don't know what it is and ask us families from the MID West and we drove out there are few times but there's something about the MID West. I really like it and on twenty ways we performed down their whatever the fuck. Were you rat. I don't even know I think again. I can't take the name of one venue. They were all them in our name. Some cell phone company, but if the crowds were just amazing, absolutely amazing the whole
again and I really got to see you know just what can we do not solve the best comics in the countries where the best up a common guy, some of those ones that are gonna, be the guys? You know we all want a drink. You do I fucking one on track in Detroit Electorate. We stated the M Gm doubts coming back to me, and I was right back in the Van with neighbour God and he got wind of like saying hearing that I said on my part. Yes, the gulf wasn't sport and do the whole way back into the bar through the second round of drinks we argued about. Whether or not it was a sport or not, and he brought up NASCAR. He said those guys are athletes, unlike dude. Not saying that somebody who draw And ass, a NASCAR vehicle
is not an athlete, but you don't have to be. You don't have to be a fuck any sport like said any sport. Will you control like a girl? Then it's not a fucking. It's just. You know you don't have had I cord, so he throws your ball and you fuck intense up at a bounces off you like they just throw it against the wall. I know guys like them. There's still good drivers, I'm not say that their NASCAR level, but, to me ok, much is it's an insult and they get myself in trouble again here. Much is it's an insult to Gulf? A lot of people say that I say it's not a sport. It's an insult, a NASCAR to just say it's a sport. Just like the national level shit that is going on and petrol That's the funniest thing about go into a race is: if if you're in the stands right across from petrol, the level of intellect that's across the track, trying to
figure out, basically how to make these rockets that don't leave the ground go like a fuckin tenth of a man faster than somebody else. You talking, they go unlike our hundred eighty twenty miles an hour, whatever the fuck they do now with the restrictive plates, and if you go right across the track, guys like me, lie we sit here with a cooler Loney fuckin sandwiches, I don't know. I think it's I actually I'm not I'm not shitting. On NASCAR age. I think it's a fucking insult to say then it's a sport. I don't think so,. Now I and also the fact of her where it came from that it basically came out like bootlegging dirt prohibition. And have like a star car, you look at a car and you think it's just start from the, Everybody got under the hood. Yet I love. Shit? That's? Why was talking last week? I love that Mercedes Benz Station Wagon, but
it comes for the M G factory. So go you know whatever zero to sixty three point five seconds, but people. Thank you. You know you going to the grocery store. I love woken sway Oh, I'm not just respecting NASCAR boys, that it's not a sport, I just look at it. I think that's an insult to two racing to say that it's a sport. You know because it wait is basketball is at the end of the day you put Nepal through a hoop right is great, hockey. Is you trying to put a fuckin rubber disk into a net? You can do that with all them. The four major sports. What they're doing. It is an entirely different level like they're changing what possible in in transportation. Like I refer not to say, unto done the same tongue like all the little man like physics, the technology,
it is going on. I don't know. I would say, is closer to transformers. Then it is a sport but whatever so neat is just sit there. Like flip in his argument about Gulf is what everybody says about how fucking heart it is just keep going like do just because its heart, does it mean it's? A sport algebra to intrigue was really hard for me. I didn't think it was a sport. I also don't think just because he's a fucking ball. It makes it a sport either right. So whatever I'm gonna have Nate emanate forgets the on my part. Yes, because it was such a fucking long argument he got into the whole NASCAR thing. I'm gonna have a mine here. Implication: Obama because he's a fucking phenomenal comedian, really one of my favorites. That's come on up
Ah, I worked, there is a lot of really funny guys Hannibal BAR is that all fuckin generation, a guy's, Michael J, all those guys are fuckin hilarious and the next night we went to Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh is one of my favorite cities out there I just such now. When I go there, I'm really there for one night sitting next to last year's are put together. My fuckin, our I might do a little three four day run. There is always some you don't I've always wanted to do. They always want to take that fuckin, whatever the hell is that tram at that he'll? Let you see every time I go there. Look at my hotel, wonder in my case a goddamn thing. I would say: let it go up there. Was fuckin Illuminati houses looking down on the city like we run shit like they have the powers which switch up there and they gonna flipping one
They want to have people get out, align, shut. Everything off. And then the last one we did we did outside of Chicago to another fuck it on favourable city. Then I dont never get to spend enough time in another great show on that one. We had Amy sure as shit fuck. It rushed fucking crushed. And may I get to work or Sarah Silverman. I never get to work with her, Crystal Clear Navigator, with him. I guess it was just fuckin awesome Anita had a fucking born of the gym Jeffreys every night, which is Jesus, Christ. Fucking guys on the best storytellers I've ever heard, and I'm thinking, I'm gonna get a night off causes a buffer between fucking him and me. FUCK and Amy Schuman goes out and absolutely destroys
but it was, it was a great crowds were so well behaved which is fuckin, awesome and then and then the other night. I got to hang out with all these comics swell the reasons why, like don't comedy festivals, whose you get the the other com, is a pretty hard work. Another guy. I worked with internal medicine everybody on. What's his face, Stephen Brodie Stevens is the funniest fuckin host ever he says how much shit the crowd doesn't even get in the complex and back of fucking dying. He said what the fuck did. He say he was going. I kept him into a bad impression. Let me go, ladies and gentlemen, the level of comedian you are to see the night these comedians about on television. I ve been Bob about law egos. These comedians houses. I know I bugging butchered it, but the Our doesn't even get it cause visited the crowds like what we own houses,
I understand that most comics it shocks if you stick with it, Don't end up with a house: oh yes, day in a one bedroom apartment. But look at me. I fuckin I bought out what I was forty three years old. I finally got a house before then I was you know in a one. Better up you just terminally in this one. Better apartment waiting for this big break so is a really inside fuckin. Joking, I butchered whatever, with widely A great picture that I don't know who the fuck took it. I can't remember, I was drunk it so much this weekend, butter, Stephen Brodie Stevens used to play like AAA Baseball or something a college level based born. You know that warm up thing that they do when they walk across the field in a kick in the Philippines
here and are trying to touch their hands its above his head. He brought up crystal clear and we was walking off stage. He was doing that and I'll never addressed it. Never looked at the crowd, so he took a picture. Is one of the coup Fuck and pictures I've seen I'll retweeted on the year, the immense podcast at the unemployed, Casta, Twitter, think but arm but whatever man it was. I was a great great time and I don't like where my Fuckin act is currently in evidently a few people in the crowded. Neither We draw back in the Van last night was fuck unawares and we just we all we were doing- was reading the tweets from people that didn't like us in the Van right back, as were the funniest Van rights, I had somebody right. Bill bar, is killing dot, dot, dot. My buzz and then said. Please get off the stage. Hashtag boo.
And another guy right. He tried to claim that I told the crowd to go out: murder people and, if fucking. I laughed so hard when I read that it's just like what is so funny, doing stand up is just public speaking and nor is the second you get done saying it. It's it's not yours anymore. It goes into p. Heads I've. I've said this before, but, however, they hear it is how they hear it, and then they right back to you with supreme confidence that they totally understood your intentions. This guy said was onstage and I told the crowd to go up. Go murder, people They say that the completely wasn't my point, but I learn to now. I've tried to anyways learn to not give a shit, and just like I was just has to do with maybe
Somebody yelled right, as I said that sentences he didn't hear it or maybe it's his childhood. I dont know what but he wrote liking cause. I was retweeting people said nice things like a really made me laugh. I between that and he wrote to me, like you know, hey Bill retweet. This, maybe, like you know, hands on it, you know what the fish senator like Super manlike, so fuckin confidence. I actually had to think for half a second. We like what fucking joke that I tell that he thought That's what I was saying our I know a joke, yeah, it's like do I won't. I wanted to write back to him. Like you know, or you could. You know pale closer attention to the meaning of the job. Maybe was Attention has just how we heard it, but you know what that's not my fault. It's not my fault, you that! That's what you heard. I find that a little bizarre that that's what you thought,
I hope that wherever wrote, that isn't one of those are those list- people in all its people, that it just go like they got their little list like ok, these. These are good words. These are bad words enough for one night. We would like bad just like this one context like if you say this word that major homophobic, you This word. That means your sexes. If you, if you feel this way on this subject, you're, a Jesus Freak, your gun you're Europe, Europe baby murderer whatever, if wherever they Stana whenever Fuckin issue abortion, whenever like they don't listen to what you are saying and it
Well, what it makes for some really entertaining tweets. I had a safer, I save one time and just fuckin I'd say put out a book, but why do that? No one would want. I want would by just fuckin, save a goddamn tree with this laptop the project Second, forty thousand trees, not just put em all out there I got somewhere in Might one of my hard drives. I have a bunch of hate mail I just kept saving of because they were fuckin hilarious. And I was also trying to learn to see the humor and put back in the day. I would actually write the people back and then what you learn afterwards. You actually carry more weight like validated. You know if the what they said is wrong when just let it go. You know it's kind of what I ve learned to slip. Fucking disappearance of the abyss, but I gotta tell you they fuckin hilarious, to read: Hashtag Blue anyways, whereas
where are we applaud? Just at this point? Thirty six minutes in all right. I'm gonna go a little short because it's also my labour day. You know works of art, don't tell jokes goddamn fuckin. What the hell is this labour day. I think I read it. Every year is always forget what it is labour day in the United States view. People around the world is a holiday, celebrated on the first Monday in September, and I realized is actually somebody who might work in a sweat shops. Listen to this going like beside themselves. You now go and like you actually have the balls to have a labour day after what the fuck, I do you know, or maybe they used to work their cause. I'm view still worth. They probably have a laptop that allow you to see things. Do they? Do they see that movie about that train? They never stops moving with Ed Harris. Jesus derives from the end of the movie,
Shut up right now, I think it is wrong to the movie Labour Day and the United States. Everybody is a holiday, several celebrated on the first Monday in September. It is, celebration of the American Labour Movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers. Basically, they had slave labour here and we started unions to get out of it and then the union's for the most part, became what they were fighting the companies left. Now we're all in cubicles? I attitudes a yearly national tribute to the contribution workers have made to the strength, prosperity and the well being of their country. Well that's what it is soaring Labour day was from promoted by this central Labour Union and the Knights of labour who organise the as parade in New York City and they Haymarket Massacre which occurred in Chicago. May fourth, eighteen, eighty six well I'll buy you gotta,
of this one. This is why, You get a decent wage because these people died. It's fuckin, unbelievable. Protest and how much you make it our you actually take a shovel to the fucking head, the Haymarket affair. It also known as the Haymarket affair, also known as the Haymarket massacre. This is done. You know whether which side of the shovel you're on. If you were the one who somebody or sent the people down to kill the Fuckin arouses. There was called a Haymarket affair Everybody was there or new people got killed, called it the massacre in the cops called it. Hey market right here, we go with the aftermath of a bombing that place at a labour demonstration on Tuesday, the fourth eighteen, eighty six, it hey market Square in Chicago. It began peaceful rally in support of the work is striking for an Our day and react
the killing of several workers by the police. The previous day there was the shovel they arrive and unknown. An unknown person through dynamite bomb at the police, as they acted to disperse the that's, not the way you get. Your point heard the bomb blasts wait and I had this backwards. Maybe the workers called at the affair other, though it was alive. We add a little of fair. You know how do I was one wants. Whatever, though they should be on our side Then I would say that the cops called it the massacre So I see that this is the great thing about me. As I don't read, and I just form of fuckin opinion and then I weight into the swamp, and I think it's there people get hurt, bomb blasts and the ensuing gunfire resulted in the deaths of seven police officers in at least for civilian scores of others were wounded, and that's not a good time.
It wanted either in eighty six Jesus Christ so anyway, yet so Who knows that- and I was just this day that we sit around and we will take a day off and you listen some fuckin moron do apart guest, all right anyway, let's get to the to the wonderful questions this week. Oh, oh, oh shit, oh shit! Here we go I actually have a big promotion. Here for a good friend of mine, de all so now the chain idle cessation from the opium Anthony Programme, a k, a jolly roses. A k, a rose is a k, a Joey D. a k, a shoulder was job. I Giotto Rosa has a new album coming out digitally on Tuesday September. Second, that is tomorrow. If you listening to
on September first orders. Yesterday it was issued on Wednesday. The third. When I was seven years ago, when you finally discovered me, are you future my still alive Tuesday September second, and it's called Mistakes were made is actually be cool idea. Mistakes were made the besides it's a double disk of unreleased material recorded at various places over the last seven years, its essentially Jos version of rarities that a ban would put out that's cool itself? An attack right now I for one- I know what I'm doing tomorrow September second downloading that album then congratulating my body Giotto Rosa for a job. Well done our leaked photos, Billy Gate, the internet almost exploded Sunday, because a massive dump of hacked nude pick there's of celebrities. Yes,
is a violation of trust. Yes, it would be immoral to posters spread, but my question to you is what are you where the ninety five or even worse, night shift guy that doesn't have a lot going on no girl friend, no future. How was it in was not looking at them, making the world better or preventing from being an issue. So, let's break this down, millions of us see Jennifer Lawrence Nude, but guy with ninety five. Does it does that change anything. I dont understand your question. You millions of people, the sand. I I missed on out in the store. So I guess they were leaked two people SAM Are there saying out of respect for her? You don't look at em, so the gout tonight. Five just hears about it. Should we not look at it? the change anything while be nice. If people respected people's privacy mean that you got,
I understand that all of us by being on the internet, you got a tiger by the tail and I never will. The cloud thing. I always thought it was. I didn't like that. They had my photos even if they dont leaks. Somebody hasn't somebody can look at em. You know it's like you mean I have taken place, My dick or something I mean. Why would do that? That's fucking weird, but I just did a family photos just private photos of where I am and what I'm doing like all other type of stuff you, I think, that's really weird in NAM. I don't know I don't like any this shit. I d like to know is why I dont bank on line, even though I know all my information, my army, if my information is online, just in case I want to back on languages, fuckin hilarious to me. I don't think that Should be legal, I think they should have the clear that with me because anything that is online is compromised. There's no!
Thing is a secure sight. All there is more secure, so Oh I don't know. I would like to think that you wouldn't do it. I'm not gonna. Do it she's mortified. She there's plenty of naked women out on the internet that are doing it and making money off of it and want to do it just respect for privacy and don't do you wouldn't want somebody doing that to you and I have been able to give a fox you make it, but what it, whatever that that version of it is you want something happened to your bank, account Take all your money in that type of shit. You know my feel bad for I you know what I mean. Fully everybody stopped using the cloud. I think I actually inadvertently amuse I'm on the cloud now I see that little icon and I dont ever remember signing up for it. Granted. I socket these things, but its it's very strange and I just can't
the further. We go into the future, the less and less privacy there's gonna be, and rather than people thinking about it. Rational way in a human way. It's just Gonna be a bunches screaming and yelling, which kind of seems to be what all debate is now it's screaming and yelling. It's not listening to an another person's point of view having an ability to be swayed trying the here where they are coming from its all about just getting out your point of view talking over somebody and type in your fuckin. What unites splits shit. Where are you know, they're gonna debate, something of then the two people just start yelling at each other and whoever yelled louder. I guess wins: Skype those fucking will glasses like if those things ever take off the fact that someone can then walk around and just be randomly filming people and converse like
privacy is gone, and I know even though european public, but you know you know a year. You should just be interacting with who you're interacting with you know right then, and there lighted the two then take it when the way you're in public. So now what I share it with the world. That's, I don't know either. I I am not looking forward to that aspect of awe of the future. You don't owe me. I did that that that shit to me is all fuckin creepy all right. So here we go next one dollar bills: dear dollar bills. What's your favorite form of currency I'm a huge fan of twenties what bill best? present you man do I like the hundred dollar bill, not a dollar bills. I could not by any seal bends fucking face,
couple, those in your wallet. That's my favorite. I like that. I like the five like the five bucks. I like can I just like the way it looks. I've always liked the Lincoln Memorial. The fifties weird, I read like gay. I like the hundred dollar bill and I've fascinated the five hundred dollar bill and a thousand dollar bill like. Where can you get there can I go to the bank and like withdraw thousand bucks and say how can I get that just get one thousand dollar bill? That's what I want. I'm sorry, sir. We don't have any well, that's how I wanted. Then what happens? Do they have to go? Get it? You don't like. Like this, one is thick: it's a special order. Car and I get away three months for the factory to build it like. How does that work who uses dollar bills. That's gotta be like what we're doing some dirty deal
I'm so hostages get that fucking briefcase there to be a bunch, a thousand dollar bills in there. You don't owe me Finally I would say I like the hundred you have to do. A billion exists, you just eat, has become more generous. Got it again? If I could take it out you slam at that table twenty dollar bill you play the will, It's just! You know. I got twenty six. I got a hundred or wants comedy, tore Billy, the looks like you're having fun on the oddball two. I had a great time could not at a better time. Please tell. So funny story or a joke from the toy. Think very did that we saw Are you willing? Sarah in the crystal Leah picture on Twitter. Oh yeah, yeah yeah I'll I'll retweet that one on the other importers to. I know how that happened. She was just sick of walking through the giant airport slots
He was trying to light now she's making this laughed. You try it almost like treated like how you lay down an escape, what this giant back, that she was checked bag. So she started going on it, then she was slow it down. I distorted grabbed. It started walking with it. She was like this is the Fuckin greatest way to go through an airport, she loved it and then crystalline took picture of us and even though we were having a lot of fun what's funny about the picture, we laugh and was it looks like we were a couple I just got a rain for something shady and now we're walking out a court and would just trying to get past the press. I cannot let faced people have with the date when, after they get a rain forest, they haven't been acquitted, they ever been. They haven't been convict They just got a rain like this is what we are accusing you of, and this is the time you are facing, that fuckin look. I can never that look on my face. Any caught me between emotions. I think my own
was like. Am I going to be in this picture? I don't think I'm in this picture goes that funny enough. I don't make me you say you are going to put together a comedy, tore up only D C, comics, and you were the house who would you pick keep in mind You have chaplain up there, the lean into the wind, or in his cell Castello for some, whose on first shit, legendary bit there dead. So you not pissing anyone off. I'm not gonna talk body, my dead friends disaster. Fucking said so, I will talk about Charlie Chaplin, Do a stand up, show I'd. Still I'm coming uh? I become a huge fan. His eye like I never had the patience to sit down a watch. One of his movies and I was in the
the Montreal I sat down. I had breakfast by myself sat up at the bar and Jesus believing a breakfast you at a bar. Absolutely and they had around in the background and because it silent, you know, I didn't have to listen any dialogue. I was actually will follow it and I really got into the whole character of the tramp. What a piece of shit he wasn't. He was always having problems with the cops running into shady carriages is always going up and down the alleys and stuff. I I just like I like this guy in also yet every Monday I busted Keaton get have dummy Seafield at some point. Might Chickadee hadn't come another? Bill grumpy and shit, all the obvious ones that you'd know prior Carling, Kennison Hicks
those guys. I guess I get up. I guess the obvious ones Red Fox speaking
by the way sucks about John Rivers, Renault man, she doesn't get a fucking. Do you watch its unfortunate if she actually passes away, which I helped doesn't happen? There's no way to know put her top five top six all fuckin time. For some reason you know she hasn't gotten her credit. I dont understand why, for the love of Fucking Christ, I dont want to listen to the fuckin woman issue again display a people that dont get their fuckin do, but I'm sure with her because way back in the day. I'm sure there was an element of that, but I'm fuckin exhaustive, but they fuckin topic. Ah but anyway, just she's my top fucking six. Seven oughta have five like where every, if you put it in top five all time, capsule fucking Lulli, absolutely
I think it's just like just put up special. She just wanna fuck and fashioned channel shit on people's dresses, but if you actually put it on and you listen to the jobs that she's doing it's a site that fuckin unbelievable. Whose tell me a job Sarah told me this week and she had a joke. I it's a joke about Woody Allen. It was something about somewhat I'm gonna fuck the whole joke up. There was something about you know when you take variety and you're a yellow belt and she did some sort of joke about the last time something yellow became came in between woody, and I would have me affair of it- was a reference to the karate belt and that he has an asian wife. I completely butchered it Jesus Christ. I really
back into their joke. I just fuck and through that thing to the cheaper, but it's inside TAT Jack. I can never get away with a fucking joke so anyways. I hope you fucking pulse rumour, it's a fucking leginn and I have and are you guys wanna be tough on twitter wounds? We do welcome. We would like I get it. I get at your age. I back to school, hello, Mr Bar. Come back to stop start my son, more year of high school soon, and I want to know if you can give me some advice. Yet don't do what I did. I said my grades are pretty good last year. So that really is a problem. Do that's fucking huge? Keep your grades up, keep your options wide open, unlike mine, that fucking closed immediately for this upcoming year.
Also the wherever they put a greater problem for this coming year, but the girls of my school are. I have no problem making friends in both gender. But I can't really seal that deal with the Ladys. I know m young and probably should not be worrying about sex, yet but his heart, but a warning teenager out Jesus Christ. Please tell me this is a guy. I feel the need to he with women You know you never know. I said I feel the need to ITALY Try and get laid. I can't seem to be taken seriously by girls in my school. They seem to think I'm just a comedian and not a possible sexual partner, the advice on how to get with these girls, any advice, appreciate. I know you get a lot of advice question. So thank you very much for bringing this goddamn. He went respectful. I love you stand forecasting. Other the heat break by you. I appreciate all I didn't get laid nice cool, so you're asking barking up the wrong for country I was. I was you.
I was you I was making. My friends laugh, but I didn't have. I didn't, have women friends either so, your further along than I am so I actually may ask you: how did you do that? I and even like two, there was a fucking baron wasteland my My childhood was overloaded testosterone, so overloaded that, like I don't even like you know, I'm just getting like my views and understanding on women it. Forty six like I should have been ploughing through this, like nineteen I just as far as understanding how, where they come from oh! What what can what advice? Can I give you?
stop being friends with with women. That's bad advice like I wouldn't do. That, though, is that this whole fuckin bit Chris rocketed, where, if you stay friends with them too long they viewing Do you that way and then looking at you as a sexual partner becomes grows? So what I did, I'm not gonna, go negative stay friends. What the women, your friends with a right but don't become friends with any What hit on all the other ones are right. Right here in a really small fuckin pon, go to a second part, the next town over and be the mistake. Sky from the other town, all of this football players there they might just beat the shit out of newly sets. What will happen when I was a kid so watch out for that shit I would say the upside is the college's only two years away colleges two years away. This deal, you're gonna, be think it back all the fucker women that you could have fuckin been havin fun with
Zawoiski, you gotta put it out there. I think that's what you're doing Give european like you, don't know how to fuckin get into that traffic pattern you? Don't you just sort of circle in the fuckin you're in a hole? pattern here when you got you gotta try to come in for a landing. Say any girl that your friends with it's fuckin over. Don't even try to hook up with them. Don't you about all right. I would actually you know what I would do a couple of em. I would talk to them. I would talk to them. You know what, if your friends with them will try and hook you up with some other girl. Who they'll see as like. Well, you know she wants to meet a boy. That's there. You go that might be the way get in their nea. Can you help this kid get laid. This is beyond this is beyond my realm. It's it's! It's a!
it's a gift to get some kid in high school. He has no project frenzies Donwell in school. He has a lot of fun they'll friends, but he can't seem to get past that. So we ask me: how does he get lays a sophomore nice girls? I gotta get in high school, whatever what hook up you know, get him in the game. You want some bats. Are you doesn't need that he didn't want, because this guy wants to be a bad obvious, gets Marvel man here. You gotta build this due to sell, so he needs friends with a lot of women. So like a moron United says: adversity. Gotta do don't be free, as with any more women and immediately heard your voice in my head going you such a fuckin moron says I got scratch there. So I came up with don't try to hook up with girls, your friends with cost.
Then there are you stop looking at you like your sexual being, it's gonna see, rose ready and friends on the Criss Cross Rock Classic Chris Rock, the friends are so I said a couple of meat you feel like you can try. Just kind of put it out there like hey you and I have girls. Girls, just Egypt give give plate get back away like a girls, and I wanna hook up with me the g they just Look at me like I'm just funny and then they'll be like What are you about? You have a lot to offer and then I think that there may hook came up with some other, world that they know. That is probably may be saying the same shit yeah, but he probably knows all those girls. I feel like he's, gotta move outside his circle of the girls at his friends, I mean, if you want a sort of like do you guys been gum. I don't know this was or alike.
I don't know why I'm cool my legs, you think girls wanna. Let me say this: we are lagging. Who can't say my call once you say my call, you not cool anymore. Why suggests I suggested that it go to another town, but I'm worried he's gonna run into town mysterious guy will you from the next town over, you should see our seven eleven railways if there's a girl that he likes easy, just go up and start talking to our budget. Make it clear not by me. Like, I want to do you I wanted, for example, can we get let not like tat, but just like other spare city, I just I, like you, know just being funny in and all that kind of, seven, just being cool weather, but definitely like you gotta put up the flirtatious by that's what it is all about properly flirting. You know what I mean: it's not like lingering too long In that, like all, can I you know just showing up our locker, you know between class already there like a so going.
Algebra like not like that. Lingering spurred, I learned that the hardware where you linger- and I was Why do I look like a psycho creeper here that I condemn? I see that being Ura your thing or when I was younger my thing, like I'm a fucking cream, I didn't know what to do. I was all I was all Billy freckles. Wasn't it was a man without a country he just didn't flirt with them to speak. You owe them macabre man don't go to overboard with it. You know, even if it was something like you know how I want to give you two compliments valley. You know like I stress, keep moving He behaved Sally nice dress, he's gotta get somewhere in the amendment that really good at that. Ok, I feel like it's like a natural thing that you have it's all about. You know what it is. I think I think once you're secure with yours and you're not feeling those feelings. Adequacy, that's when that, an unnatural swag can happen, you can't manufacturer. So that's why meeting
Give him like lions to throw out sounds ridiculous because there completely manufactured You can also you're a woman, so you don't have to like hit on people eat a sharp look. You that's why we ve been through this before I go into it again. That's a lie. It you're! cute age. Your opening line is a sally nightdress that really the terrible by budget to give out a compliment. I keep it move and that's all, and you come up with a middle ground between a Sally nice, dress and Nay Sally NICE, Vulcan rack. What what I say. I don't think that I can just make it. Someone, like you, know just handed. You know, that's cool. What's that? Are the largest ask about something about her? You know what that book, your well, I'm gonna put in a context of like a school type of situation. So it's not completely left me. You know you're good at starting. Getting in
Hey, what's that book, your reading, an immense you gotta, be like fucking Harry Potter, like yeah. The movie, wrinkle got under way. Your face turns all read what the thing This, too, is what we're talking about teenagers here. So I don't know that this is. This is fucking creeping along ways away from being like in haste Also. I can't even like go back there mentally to figure out how a boy that age were taught we're gonna have annoyed, because I I can't. I can't remember anything previous too salt or a little bit like that, that's how I was hidden nagging hungarian a town of doubt, but just given shit, no funny way That's all that can be queue for sure. She is like a playful teasing, but it's like you got
No the person well enough to do that. You know what I mean it's like if it's a girl that he's an hasn't talk to end like three years and all of a sudden you last year will give up. Relations can be like one who's that yeah that's the worst, and all these lessons. That I'm like it's less about. Here's mine he's my file don. I think it's less about oh shut up, I think of less about how do I get the girls to lie? shut up yet why it's only shut up your face was was saying things ignore using unlikelier face was saying to me, so I told her to shut up I'm running out of time. But my father was imitating a woman. Face when I said something to her one time that was the face she made me. What do you mean? What did you say? You know I was in between relationship. You remember just spit it out now, because it's embarrassing, I was in between relationships and all these key.
We should just like, though just you now just fuck and say it and blah blah blah blah blah just stay single. I just bang a bunch abroad, blah blah blah. So I tried to be that guy so it was sort of working for me and then I just one night, just completely back photos. Dangerfield. This woman came up to me. Tell me how much she liked. Might you know blah blah blah blah start, the small talk in everything and then I tried to be. You know leather jacket. Guy said I you cut the bullshit. I mean I live right up the street I come Because she's like why not I urge you slowly back the way it like I fucking, It took me so baby you blew it. There was nothing the blue
Oh, I was just spoken, it wasn't even there there was no situation. I completely I miss read the whole thing like this: can you gotta do is get. Has his confidence in his own personal swag go and that's all it is. It's like. I feel like it's not about the other people. So much is about how you feel about yourself, you now and I, but I feel it that's also like a concept, that's kind of hard for a people that you know. What do you got to figure it out, just keep fuck and try it. I just say hi outgoing can keep moving. That's why you know you talk about the mistakes way better than head high salary nightdress. Now that was the fucking worst advise ever you don't judging by your skills in some of the shit that I said back, they are and how we have a fuckin men. How do we get out? Make us, I think, we're both it. Just nerds beat it. I gotta be the advertising wrap this up. I wrap it up early, I am but I I gotta go to the advertising. Her stay dot com, everybody.
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Council Asheville. That's a special offer from my listeners. Make sure you use Hulu, plus dot com, slash bill, so you get that extended free trial. And that they also know that we sent you here. We here Don't you they're Jesus, but go to. Google plastic can't slash bill right now, for you extended too weak for free trial are right. There you go. Ok, he's a big dilemma for the weak. Everybody dilemma: Dear Billy, the bakers, Big fan, first time, writer of first time to write dedicated listener programme. Three years. I have an age old dilemma for you. I have been engaged for about five months to the perfect woman. For me, about two weeks ago she received the text after ten p m from a male coworker, oh gee, like them, sure man than I am. I passed off as nothing and kindly reminded her that text after ten p m should only be for emergencies or naughty talk between the two of us. She agreed. I work out of town
on five days a week o J J is so I'm not Ruby night, a few years ago, she tells me that she's going to deal with the same guy, what the fuck the same, I just the two of them and then going to the same restaurant as our first date. Jesus Christ. Do I can't, read the rest of this text is so many red flags flap and in my face I hope not right. She explained that invited other coworkers, but everyone declined or bailed, ok, and if you did the same thing, she would be cool. What that I wouldn't be called this man or woman would not be cool. With this This is not a cause. I'm trying to seize this like a female thing, a guy doesn't understand is not a cool does not call. I tell it that this does not make me
but I am not happy about it either. She described this guy is short single and dates around bang a one more time before she gets married, that's what he's doing. I'm not saying it's what your fiance is doing, but that's what he's doing the foxy go and have a conversation. The gout dates around ever since that night and of course, my decision this fashion for the event that occurred. Things have been slightly touchy between us. I trust this girl, but I can never trust. Single guy, I have had issues with women and guy friends. In the past, my parents, divorce, when I was young duty infidelity and I've never been a hundred per cent Trusting of women in IRAN, We think that this is an appropriate foreign engaged or married woman to go out to dinner. Let's face it. It's a date with a single and or vice versa, apps, a fuckin loosely acts of fuckin lately. And the timing of this too, will you engaged and you're gonna get me.
It's like yeah, I be like listen, if you want I'll just say so, just rip the bandaid off. Take my heart: throw across the fuck him de the garbage disposal right now. Let's just fuckin get this over with, because. Yeah do, that is to say that that is not. That is not cool situation yeah so,
I agree with you. You ever really ask me anything, but I one hundred percent agree with you. That is not does not call, naturally shitty position further put yet, and I've been that piece of shit other guy too. So I know what his flock of intentions are. So where you go, there's that I dont know what to tell you that one of those things where it like you gotta, say you can't ever do that again, but there is also that thing like I shouldn't have to tell you not to do that and that's a hell of a fuckin tale that they invited all of these other people and they all declined. It sounds like a really bad lie: Jesus Christ. What does that expression about a woman's heart about the secrets it holds? I shouldn't I shouldn't quotas because you'll never trust him.
We must get no, you can't fucking trust anybody, I'm eating meat, if Google, this woman's heart secrets, see if it comes up to do all the women's heart secrets, no woman's hard programme, the woman's heart secret, a woman's huh It is a deep ocean of secrets there. It then take too long. Oh shit, fuck, unbelievable. That's amazing is a troop. What you ve been out the step this way, never believe and stereotypes, because there we say: we can never shut the fuck up. They can't keep a secret and they're always gossiping. Maybe they keep their secrets, maybe shut, the fuck up and said and have done for the weak what're you, I think so enjoy them. Stay away by day. Right, that's
podcast for this. We God bless Ali. Thank you have already came out to the the oddball tore thanks. When you tweeted that they like me. Thank you even more than people, so they didn't like me, fuckin hilarious That's it go fuck yourself I'll talk to you next week.
Transcript generated on 2020-03-07.