« Monday Morning Podcast

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-24-19


Bill rambles about free time, errands, and deleting tweets.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hey what's going on hey what's going on it's still burn it's time for the monday morning podcast get this down here hey hey hey hey producer is sorry assigned for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning part yes dear just checking it andy jesus christ overrated underrated we're doing this one early underrated not having shit to do not having shit going on in your fucking life in the phone doesn't ring yo cuz this deal someday you're going to have shit going on in your life and you can look back to those days when you didn't have shit going on and you like what the fires sidney stress in the whole time i could have sat around and watch reruns of married
could i watched the prices rise you now that's crushing it right there three meals today you didn't go to work and you watch the price is right have the fuckin nerve pray to a higher power that dago blue does it such a cruel world disney course i'd be stressing out too if i had nothing going on and i was sitting around watching could prices right now why castle i up in the morning hitting all the fun classic fast food restaurants they can't join cause these fuckin bank accounts they just want you to keep running on the wheel ten believable
doesn't make any for the whole where these things when you let fuckin shit that that kid sent me and that they can be checked trading futures on people's work fuckin expression is worth people's carbon footprint i think that finally maybe figure out you know without any sort of researchers context any sort of build burg interest in a circle i think i just saviour and thought about it and i figured it out because i didn't discuss it with another human being so makes sense and i'm going to say tat i think that's why they don't fucking discuss the population problem because just look at us like the more there are the more money they can make i think i'm into the conspiracy theory now that you liked this a certain level of sociopathy have to beat the further up you go
in the power rankings is bcs you know a guy you know just plain white guys you don't owe me although having a hell of a run is sociopaths in all races i don't know what the fuck called leaders and all that crap they just don't give a fuck they like this my life i'm going to live from here to about here will say eighty ninety years old you know if i'm lucky right and the world is going to end during that time so i don't give a fuck what happens after me even in my own goddamn children i don't give a shit i'm not going to be here just have an inability to think that fucking far the more here about a couple of
and at each out there that are run for president that i'm going to vote for everybody's sam wasted my vote but i am not i am not voting for i can now is due trump and i'm not voting for that fucking idiot a blind joe biden liked if you ever see like a fuckin sick com and they have the mom and dad character he's like the fuckin dead character and they gradually just right amount of the script just not bringing i don't i don't fucking get it anyway but what is cool if you do if you don't just so you should join us another pontificating as someone who doesn't fuckin reader whatever joe rogan head fucking snow as a guest that's a moment podcasting history i'd say mark marin having standing president barack obama out there on the road
everybody talks about kevin heart so amount of football stadium you see what fucking obama has been doing making money out there sells his wife i like the jay z and beyonce political people selling the same arenas back sorry about that fuckin goddamn machine just posted i was on nice little run there talking about the obama is in the j seizes then what happened up on me i haven't my whole day went a fucking
in our second earlier about you know what's underrated underrated is having nothing to do all day it's just scary when the reason you have nothing to do all days because nobody wants you you don't have a job got no girl friend by got anybody i'm telling you right now talking to you homeless people living out on the streets listening to your walkman i know it seems bad right now all right you using a dead bird for a pillow but just now something it's all going to turn around and someday you're going to look back and be like you know what is homeless as sunburned and is chapped as i was give anything right now to take a nap on a sidewalk on a
wednesday afternoon just to have that moment to myself at something you to learn when you homeless the sidewalk is always warmer across the street opel what's wrong with you gotta what's right be since my recorder went out okay which i would love to sit here and tell you that i handled like a mature adult butt the fuck out as i did since you know in your world the magical world of editing i've done since i just said you know before i said i was back to the point where i said i was back i went i i ordered over my car picked up from service i took my dog she's in town every single day i took her for a walk around the block i went over to federal express i picked up a fucking package
came home i fuckin make breakfast for everybody i thought people wanted smoothies turn out people wanted pancakes i adjusted my breakfast have time adjustments came right back down stairs did all the fuckin dishes did all the fuckin dishes picked up my wife's little paper wrapper on a teabag at she left the counter you know is what kills them of a back in the day when i was good up in the military used to try and make you feel guilty go do more before ninety em then you do all day go fuck yourself know you don't guys have time hanging out with all your friends singing songs everything rhymes you know forgot ear a radical march around sing in some fuckin dirty limerick sudan fuckin do budget dad errand
why do you know what that sound that is a fucking pet peeve of mine do you guys hate when people tell me how hard they're working you know i don't like put people dunk a ball and start thump in their chests let me know how awesome ere i dont need i don't need any extra information i can look at you i could see what you're doing fill in my thoughts for me i don't know camera heart i'll never get over that ways but sock nfl football real quickly went back to do today jesus what the fuck was that debacle monday night patriots for suggests that was even a fuckin professional gape
and if i have one more jack s and he s p and talk about the patriots difference how it's one of the greatest defenses of all time ok then there obviously not looking at our special our special are fuck it patriots state pages also didn't netflix stand up special off the fact that aid although what's his face annulment digit here to do his impression of virtue bachar he crushed it but anyway if anybody looked at our schedule they will realise that all you ve got to cleave on brands is weak we adjust feasting bottom feeders so far i'm not saying we have a bad defense i'm not saying that defense might not be the greatest of all time i'm just saying we haven't fucking played anybody and if we due to the ravens what we did to the jets monday night then i will be
will co sign of what this it now that the greatest of all time ok but i'm just saying i dont know what i always take the bait it's just espn's job to sell these games and tell you that what you're watching is the most unbelievable thing ever nine times out of ten they fuckin round but sometimes there right so ago and you know what i made fun of that guy and he was right patrick mahomes is fucking amazing i hate that he's injured cuz we're going to be playing and who want to have fun in that you want everybody one hundred percent so then when your team wins you can truly stance upright strong around and like you made some sort of contribution that afternoon we get a pill you ran a bunch of airlines and you
credit but did you make attack on sunday you sit in the war room making halftime adjustments describe the jets quarterback can't fucking mono came back with a price when i was i was just there was an ugly performs gets keep agatha give it can give a shoutout right now to jets fence you know everybody talks about long suffering knicks fans you know whatever jets fans and you know what it is it's only that they keep showing up the level of hope that they have at one in four because beat the cowboys the week before did you fucking see them in the in the parking lot i know the cameras on sunday with him and it up but they really thought that they were going to beat the patriots we turn it around
that team the play who's not these new your jets this is the second coming joe namath these franchises that live in the past that one time they had a fucking success the flyers the jets all of that you can't do it red sox did with all that stupid curse of the babe shit that was fuckin saddled around or god damn neck thanks to guys like dad shaughnessy there was one the dumbest curses as one of the stupidest things ever do you think there's anything to it no i don't i think we're just an inept franchise to the point we have to make up stories about ghosts and goblins all the players that played for the last two hundred years war available for our scouts to see and draft and we did not sir
but if you want to start talking about some fuckin fat guy from a hundred years ago or a goddamn goat i mean our right sports widow walk pacing back and forth one of my favorite things to do is to argue with you know having been paying attention that fuckin world sears arguing about yankee fears about how great babe ruth was or was it like i always this what i wished i would say that guy could play in any era in this era there's no way he wins a sigh young and hit seven hundred and thirteen home runs or whatever the hell yet i'm not saying he wouldn't do one of the other you be saying hall of fame pitcher or a hall of fame hitter absolutely brilliant put those numbers of people did you see ken burns documentary on baseball in the fastball did you take your fucking scene i don't need to watch that i don't need all the information to have strong opinion
this is what this is the stats i look i look at people heading four hundred right and if you look at people hitting four hundred it happened on a regular basis teddy ballgame did it t fortys and the other was times more than one person hit four hundred in a season aright this fuckin guy hit four hundred over seventy years ago and nobody is done its sense so what people say are they gonna sit there and admit that people they were watching were playing any sort of a new thing all white sorra professional beer league now i mean it's not a purely but come on do that so instead what they do is they start inventing the ghosts and goblin things like ted williams eyes man he could pay he could see the sea
could see it as it was fuckin they always do that shit come on the fuck out of here you know this should be an asterisk next to all those those if you were fuckin crushing all runs away titles aware stanley cup in shit in the three stooges were still making movies i mean come on what are we doing just the amount of petition now that everybody's at eight you know the level of nutrition like what you have to do to get an edge there the amount of game film that you have to fuck you can't sit around eaten hotdogs fuckin hookers on trains and then go up there and just point in years gone there he did at a major league baseball game a fuck out of here you got to study game film to beat like you gotta be like tom brady known what the fuck you gonna eat nine years from now right here
you fucking running with a guide the entire strategy carrying a desk whatever the fuck is he's people don't you know you gotta let air out of a ball you gotta fill people from across the side like back there now obviously if those guys all played today they would be doing the same thing they would also be get out taking stairways whatever the fuck they would be doin aright power bars and watching gave films on a flat screen tv absolutely become what you are you guys do you think i'm nuts the greatest athletes for some time for some reason we're just made a hundred years ago right rate of five minutes on the first want someone to sixteen minutes here anyways got more football tonight my lsu tigers my adopted southern football team
is ls you my north and one is michigan cuz of relatives i've watched them my whole life by lsu tigers have auburn this week they gonna get after now near move the warring old southern anal biomass or maybe to death valley i don't fucking i do i really dont have the time to five i've let you guys know how busy i am appeared a barrier branford florida so i've given up on knowing names in stats it kind of aligns with my knowledge of the game anyways before i used to actually know the names of the players and i knew stats and then i attached it to my ignorant uninformed thoughts it only been other names i think it'll be a lot more palatable path palatable is as i say it anyway
i did a great fucking benefit the other day for crohn's disease down at largo and it's just those great shows that they haven't largo was just a mix of people that i think would have worked together it was jacob dillon josh army both of them play music sets and i went up and did some dick jokes afterwards and we had the fucking best time and through musicians unbelievable there like what they do i was sitting there like waiting to go on you know on this side of the stage listen to jacob dillon i'd like to other guys up there with him a course i should know the names but i'm an idiot how good they sounded i was hanging there with bardic i'll go can you believe like what would listen to his live like this recorded that's how good it sounded and then came out after that in total
fuckin crushed it me just like i'm always envious of the vibe that musicians can have with a crowd maybe if i wrote some nicer jokes i fucked where my act is right now i was love and where it was ad and now i'm just on its fight me right now you know you know like when you're trying to make a point with your wife and she's not listening so you try to hold her down but she won't stop squirming that is what i'm talking about i'm doing that artistically with my act how stupid was it that all those people got upset with that fucking guy you know everything i need you gonna be ripley may didn't you gotta get fired i love it just like being an asshole now he's just being an asshole
got a little champagne and he's being an asshole then all of a sudden people want the guy to lose his career fucking unbelievable fucking assholes like all these fucking people that say somebody should lose their job i just wish like the feds would show up at their house grab their laptop grab their cell phone and just pour through all their emails and fucking everything and it's like alright you just hold them away from the people be like i prefer we go away to this cry before we delve into this i didn't give you one last chance are you willing to your tweet about this person you ve never met in your life are we going to go into your smartphone and your laptop find out all of your secrets and you're going to go down with them you have five seconds for
three to arrive you watch him all back the fuck down everybody's got something everybody's got at least one fucking dead pet that they fucking day out on buried in their backyard all come on bill you said something that we need this close to a weekend if we really need that you know we once in a while you fucking slipped out pull the denzil you know denzil zoe slapping liquids out of other actress hands who seem to have a drink in their hand comes over a fuckin slaps it out of him i wonder if he says before the scene i frankly do before it can you hold a cup of water lily i think by characters and then you got a fucking hold a cup of water and it comes over had i re walks she just fuckin slaps it sort of way favorite things in cinema
forget to do a scene with that guy i don't give a fuck what my characters doing i'm holding like a pitcher of beer or something fuck wardrobe people who could be pissed man he's gonna get wet every fuckin take man we have three other shirts eric many ways as i was mentioning listen it joe romans park has now begun to promote it ever going towards listening toby andrews snowden is on it which is just fucking amazing of teeth christ incredible i never really been into something and he should you try to convince somebody that it's fucking cool and i did to the just not have in it and then stupid reason you just keep trying to convince him till it literally almost ends your friendship with somebody i did that the other day talking to somebody about a mercedes benz amg e63 station wagon
basically a race car but it's a station wagon in this person could not get past the fact that it was a fucking station wagon what makes a call it's the first time i said a cop you know and then by the end i said it how i said it the first time on the pie casting by then you in any way in the dairy queen silken over stunned the rice cream started a poor down on their fuckin hand it's just you sorry i just stopped really like this station wagon i'm telling you write fuckin if i didn't love my car so much and if i wasn't such a frugal son of a bitch i would by one of those motherfuckers ok put my drums in the back i would wait until three minutes before the show i didn't have enough drive to a courtyard area set them up in force people to listen to how much i suck
i've been playing as much as i am wanted to lately because of arrogance and i realized i think i need to get an assistant i think that's how rich people do it right i'm sorry of tickets on paying taxes i need to address the fact where i am right now economically and i realized at once you get with certain level of wealth we the get an assistant or you job to inner city children either that's going to be my thing except i won't raise them it's just so they can do my errands now the world dharmu to the baby just want drum you guys gonna have fun doing all this shit i don't want to pick by creating girl go she store the package at fed ex quit you crying get on your bike
i don't give a shit yeah i get an argument about a goddamned station wagon so i'm trying to prove it to the purse i don't look that fucking thing up on youtube and the biggest nerds ever are reviewing it and none of them aren't you know if you look up the car and you do a review none of them none of them have any audio about how the car sounds none of them are driving around fast throw drive and it like a fuckin station wagon this is the nervous people every day car intrigues me because i mean it it's a station wagon and yet it has twinstar valve route one hundred and twelve six hundred and forty seven horsepower in the just sitting there driving along
this is one southern guys we should get to listen that twenty million out why they made some lock this but i love it and it's got a lot of thick up really enjoy it and maybe you could also expires on some level what i am experiencing except you're never gonna hear the engine do you want person is driving through a neighborhood going around in s turn i mean i couldn't i couldn't i convey our fuckin tricycle keep it hanging on the bumper and not tipped over so finally but i had to do is just type in the engine and then finally error the finance are finally engine than they finally get to see what it what it's like it's a fucking sleeper and i actually i was so frustrated with my friend that i actually went to that website i built talking car the color that i want
and the rims and everything and i took a picture of it and i sent it to dean delray dean delray we're mediately brought back their car is god and that's why i love tee thou ray i mean it's it's it's it's a it's a it's a station wagon just go get you shall be mustang you're fucking jerk off our action you can tell by how cranky i am that i am approaching forty eight weeks and not drinking and i would love to tell you that i just left that habit behind that i can so i could feel it man you don't like in those horror movies where you're running away from fucking jason and he's just walking but for some reason you never put any distance between you and that that's what my drinking is like all right i have a little fridge garage everybody in mecca
i got a fridge out of there when i open that fridge i'm not more mundane tank in hand likes to drink coke a bill doesn't drink bill comes back in the house and he makes pancakes and he goes to fucking fedex and picks up the goddamn package make smoothies for everybody that's how you had a game comes out in the garage a garage i actually have a six pack of miller high life one bud light and some one hundred percent pure cranberry juice and my refrigerator all of that the bud like i don't know where i got it from cops ever show up in his fingerprints of a hooker on their own fucking dead cuz i have no timeline i don't know where i got it okay just leveling with you and then the fucking
the miller high life i was making some sort of stew or something like that and you had to put a fucking beer in there the recipe i can't remember what happen cells like i got these out here for i have the fellows over which i never do any work is unfortunate busy to watch a game they can drink so i got those and then i got the cranberry juice because i flew from tel aviv to newark four hour delay on the plane and then flew to fucking la after that it took me a little over a day i think i think i had half a glass of water and i off the plane in the first time i went to take a piss i thought i had the clap so i knew it was something else so i just had to crush the water and i just fucking drank that i just so this way more information than you needed to fuck it now
what let's real it'll be the advertising here everybody mercedes benz out of do me a solid with that fucking you know the way their struggling heavy one yet another on the way to win in yet another formula one championship and builders championship has everything to do with proceed he spends or is that about the team itself all right here we got three reads here everybody feels see we do you experience stress or having side he cried pain i have trouble sleeping at least once a week let's be honest all of those things suck right i have stress yes do i have anxiety yeah i think i do i have more anger than anxiety about
is much afraid of things as i am angry about them maybe here that's just how your anxiety manifests itself are right i'll buy this shit you're not alone personally in your own words please discuss the issues issues you have how i kept you from living your best life everyday well i have an adopted to inner city kids yet so i don't have a personal assistant so i still have to run all my errands and you know i got to tell you driving around in my car you know listening to satellite radio you know after while you know if i do too many errands my feet get tired ankle from going from the gas pedal to the brake pedal and that gives me anxiety and done for
swirled nation like it i think it also qualifies as chronic pain and then afterwards when actually see real people in pain almost and all that then i feel guilty and then i have trouble sleeping at least once a week i was searching for anything that would help with these problems people then i discovered feels i will do that every time what is feels it is premiums seeming to be delivered equality doorstep i love this shit i swear to god it's like wintergreen gum for your joints you put it on you to feel like your gum i can really what does feels do feels naturally help reduce stress anxiety pain and sleeplessness please talk about how much we have to let these people know it please but the condition you have and how taking feels has helped
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you are right that's the plot cast everybody thank you for listening have a great we can you cuts in joy the fuckin music here and then you get an extra boadicea half our greatest hits thursday afternoon just before friday monday one partner see me what's goin on its bill burnished monday morning podcast for monday ox were twenty fourth two thousand and eleven doing it on october 25th
and i saw you guys bitching about it on that would you call your call tuesday morning podcast our failure or web g big veiled go fuck yes i know i understand i'm a little i'm a little late this week a little bit rock and roll creepy mormon just so fucking keep clean it majors and crawl they came like desert dislike i believed everything is round yonah me round one of those wailing devos booties europe like you be so good you actually come around again you become evil europe like some of these are the issues freaks with gets show against abortion that
go out and they commit murder but let's stay away from an hour i i think i have said enough things about them did baby haven't i see a problem one we're gonna build wishes to weeks in rome weeks in a row wants to do i was actually flying back from stockholm sweden yesterday from stockholm had to fly to zurich and switches switzerland and die board the plane there and then it was a twelve hour fucking flight all the way back to la you think they just go straight shot re across the ocean has not only do it you know cause to earth is shaped like a fifty year old bowler yeah you know when you get fat is a guy would like we just put it all on and our middle that's like the equator your belt buckle so you know
that's the longest way around what they do is they did even makes sense around your fuckin punched rockets like six thirty four in the morning out here it's which is like i don't know what for in the afternoon the way my head is that right now the way my head is where my head is at right now die but its pitch black out out here and elsewhere we gotta bill your jet lag start making fun excuses if you not funny what what are you gonna take a fuckin nap that way times are times though waste our time how they fly your back is actually go fly up towards the quick away around the globe may we were right over the fuckin iceland
then over green land and then we came down over the yukon territories in the man at all but says catch awhile fuckin alberta and then back into states adamant what the fuck i'm talking about but i had a great time of there i want to thank everybody who came out i would like to say to those to everybody who came out in finland i'd like to stay talk to everybody you came out to stockholm sweden and i'd like to say thank you one who came out london and thanks to people copenhagen and also because i didn't learn how to say thanks a danish or rather i slowly and norwegian you know those values actually being over there after while he started to pick up a little bit of the language but in typical i mean i wasn't over there long enough i just started speaking my own language and i would always i would say hello but in an accent i will just go hello
listen i would start talking like that unlike if you say hello over there they know that you're you're you're an american or whatever they use it you speaking english because they say hey really quick are high say i fuckin stock of sweden select systemic some grow mangoes high and then a police car by we but it was an amazing experience and die i sincerely want to thank everybody i've fucked amazing shows over there if i do say so myself fuck and killed it over there text to charlie murphy he told me before i went over there go hard son they can take it so i said i'm going to do my shit come stand and in the military say and that's what i did and it worked out perfectly and the most interesting thing
the most interesting thing about the tour why is that when i bring up hitler i got to tell you if you want to bring up hitler in europe because immediately people are guy gets fucking weird in the room because basically wherever you go in europe for the most part he either completely bomb the shit out of their city or the city you're in was on the same team and there's a little little bit of guilt because even though this thing where i am i am on a mission to get joseph stalin to get a little more credit in the complete maniacs psycho you know what i mean stop fucking psychos
hitler is always at the top you norman like one of those rolling stone best guitarist ever in a stick hendricks oh robert johnson at the top it out but guess is right but it's like what the fuck the guy killed twenty million fucking people killed six million ghana ones you thank you killed three times as many as the guy that everybody say it is the most and say mother fucker river that your name would get thrown around a little bit more i don't understand it you don't owe me what's the germany i just killing people in germany is like complete a couple of passes for the new york jets in new york city adolf hitler is the max sanchez fuck in the mark their jobs
a fuckin mass murderers yellow fuck you i don't like i guess well it twenty people in in russia is like throwing for foreigners yards in seattle nobody gives a ship you just got to wanted yards in new york you don't owe me they and the game if i can make with all those self blowing songs that new york city all right so anyway i learned all this shit about hitler so i went to fuckin now and i'm and ass if myself because of course i don't know anything only thing about fucking norway sweden copenhagen denmark fucking
look i don't know anything about it all i know is sweden and finland have a lot of an age l hockey players that's all i fuck anew and as far as my world war two knowledge i knew that hitler and mussolini we're part the access powers that hitler fuckin bomb the shit out of england and then i also know that he went head to head with the russians retreated right before winter and the nazis chased them in and then i got surrounded just like in a bronx tale the door racist started to snuff and then they said and now you can't leave yeah everybody by the way cuz i don't know how to do anything in a russian accent already anything to know filter this video game this mission and every time reset like you had to sneak down the hall
russian scientists and was calling back with female assistance she would say something in a strawberry some bullshit than he be like bar eat though anyway i'm a moral so this what i learned in in finland is there deal so they get shit berossus because it's a bad sing cause they went with the guy who killed six million people too fight the guy who fuckin killed twenty million people i don't know it's fuckin there basically if you'll look out look at them on a map they basically had the online key position of being between the biggest mass murderers in history of the world alternatively okay so
of baden evan army big enough fuck with either one of em one on one they needed to make an alliance so now getting into self preservation this is how it was told me in finland now i know there's a lot of jewish people right now listening govern all fuckin perhaps whatever whether the fuck you pray do who is jesus why would she was jewish right i don't fucking now anyway he this guy tommy over they are basically that day they had to make a choice and they d chose germany euro which he tried to say like we weren't doubt that nazi shit we would just trying to make sure that the russians wouldn't take us over and basically germans helped out the finnish people and they put up walking lake placid against the russians and they defeated them which is an unbelievable environment to this day to the people
this is the way was told me in helsinki are right and i am typical fucking moron because i didn't read up on any of this one guy told me this shit and now i'm gonna presented this fact so why i don't know anybody read about world war about that because when i look at it you got two zero between two cycles you gotta make a choice who you gonna pick i the germans can unbelievable fuckin car you know incredible tank they had they they were like the falcon steve jobs they will act they had all this shit and they were russia would he got you got a bunch of fuckin people drink and vodka who do we want to go up a gets we want to go
but these guys who have tags that door i've like porsches all we want to fight these can drunks who got working dishrag tight around their of their army boots what are we gonna do it so i think it was like the fuck and self preservation think for some because i think somebody like you cited with germany and justice second you do that you they automatically go you fuckin ghetto at these american blob were i'm not saying they work not say a word of just wondering is there another side to it or its dislike listen we were trying to avoid being nukes so it was a decision we had to make is there a right decision i fucked read up on steadily so goddamn lazy than haven't you assholes read up on it and fuck and tell me about it i so that was their deal right
then if you go over to sweden sweden remain neutral real oh by the way i brought a i brought up hitler which bombed in finland and i guess and was backstage going there i realise that we were in an alliance with hitler in world war to a kind of embarrassing at this point dr standard of their typical ignorant american the euro what are you guys india hitler at something i'm making fun of a guy oh i was doing this bit like hitler always fascinated me in that i dont see the charisma i just see an angry sweaty ugly man who is completely lost his composure speech why didn't anybody go like this guy's a fuckin spaz
is the guy were handed the keys over to bring us the glory they give you fuckin kid me this little runt by the way people are tallest fuck in scandinavian and in all those norwegian country by the way he might have like five ft two in children that i saw you know who was so young like the voice had even changed like fuckin almost eyeball the eyeballs mega legos in stein over the what you say what can freaking me out like i'm just about five ten unlike average height so i've never had an issue with my high over there i felt short you know no breschia where everybody out there's like three hundred pounds and looks and six what for looks like they play for often line or some shit yeah i think that seem like over there like six put one was like the five foot eight five foot nine over here but anyways
that's how embarrassed myself in finland our i was going the fuck would follow this guy and evidently finland did right there was more on move and when i was in copenhagen a camera i told you this story i brought it up i called them danish of denmark with danish and then i lost confidence in it because nobody said anything and i go i'm sorry danish people from amsterdam might even say the netherlands i sent amsterdam and then i go with you guys denmark i knew that was wrong when i found after show that the actually our danish oh and it continues when i went in sweden and i never till i tell anybody this i walked out
stages at its nicely back here in switzerland and everybody laughed thinking i was joking and i wasn't i get him confuse they both begin with s there both in fact in europe they both of those blonde hair blue eyed onto want to open the bank account what caused you to call them but we in sweden what day did world war ii what's the land they remain neutral and before world we're too i guess sweden wasn't shit they would just potatoes for there was an irish action that jesus i'm all over the map here they were potatoes in fuckin meat laws and get our mashed potatoes at all that shit they had nothing going on so they're big thing was they became powerful
world war two evidently this is all told to me by swedes comedians that we were we were all drinking at the time cuz i always do but i'm back on the wagon noxious deserve but you didn't lose your sobriety you took it and you flushed it down the fucking toilet yes i did yes did i was there now was i always in norway fuck an amazing like meal it was a year in two days and i just much like cal ripken jr
like all right you know i went out like hell ripken junior i didn't go out like bread far enough like i just got hit by a train i didn't go out like that had two glasses of wine here nor make this confessed everything i'd two glasses of wine on monday than i didn't dreadfully days and then i had one beer in finland tried one of their beers the wish that i went to sleep and the next night and i had one of the there's some summer summer ale now pay that's what it was and then i and i had some single malt scotch and it was delicious and i enjoyed it and i'm done and that's it it's actually good because when i go to europe now i think about drinking but when i come to the state it's all been washed away like our mistakes i don't drink here see the guys i don't have a problem
sweden the fuckers and i know and i want all you guys are you finish fuckers are you swedish sons of bitches you also audience in copenhagen i choose to work please send more world war to information cuz i don't want to read about it you know what is going on with my fucking recorder wanna are its sweetness said the old dame shit they keystone norway got their independence in one thousand nine hundred and five right we're like the most moronic fucking history lessons you're over gonna get so anyway so sweden wasn't shit and world war ii they basically neutral and allowed the nazis king board their trades on their weight and norway
what can take over norway i guess they would just be like want we see nothing just sergeant shots on hogarth zero and evidently they sold weapons to both sides her see that all the same shit in that sound familiar if you honestly look at a certain countries foreign policy you went out there and you are the world and made one fuckin interesting alright let's floods continuing so where the fuck am i in this this absolute shitstorm trying to remember what these fuck these guys told me okay so totally sell out norway so the nazis go in there kick in the shit out of people because they have fuckin they get these porch target engines in their goddamned tax
we also tax but right just a second they give you like sixty miles of fuckin our also run so smoothly yeah right then they just fuckin bomb in the shit out of ill cigarettes creek right bomb in the shit out of people then what did they do that can nazis evidently go ok we to insert a new leader they put in this vit can quisling oh well i guess was told him nazi sympathiser that type shit they put him in haiti they are therefore up views of jewish people die he actually turned over jewish people to the fuckin nazis that's what he he's so infamous now
and he's known as a trader in norway and evidently is last name is quisling that basically if you're if you're a piece of shit in you sell out your friend it's cool the quisling don't you to talk about just fucking soiling your family fucking name you as such can't that you make your surname basically a well god i'm gonna be dumb again what's the fuckin word you may not a euphemism a year and expression being a sellout trader piece of shit and then you go and that's basically that's world war two scandinavia in one norwegian country of finland's that's basically what happened are you what's funny finland fillin kick the russians asked but because they were on the side of the germans at the end of the war they still had to play like fuckin reparations and they lost the city and the
that gives us a tartar city over russia even though kick their ass now let's get let's get into shit that i learned about is far as they arise i might the semi batteries gonna die i think my batteries gonna die here because it start in a fucking crap out of here this is one thing i've learned as you travel fuckin countries whatever countries border other countries they don't like each other the same way you don't like your room you like him at first and after a while the way cleared his throat our focus you know his whiny voice or the fact that his girlfriend is coming over to many times have to i just fuckin hate him right so oh i guess the swedes looked down on the finnish people like the finnish people there like the blue collar people they look at em like fuckin whatever and then finnish people jesting people from sweetener gay is evidently the way that they speak
now i guess they ever sing song you way of speaking i was too overwhelming for me like all the all that shit all sounded the same to me i i naw man it was fuckin amazing i learned all this shit you know that norway voebel comes out of sweden right in where one point which i guess so behind the fuckin eight ball financially that they actually said does it gain their independence from sweden they actually set at one point that they could hear that they gives sweden a portion of their fucking country if they could only fifty percent of the volvo car a prize in sweden said go fuck yourself and then like i think two weeks later discovered an unbelievable amount of oil and now they're all riches fuck it was like the bits like the beginning if you don't understand this just watch the opening song
beverly hillbillies it's the exact same thing it was you that's up they're gonna were bleeding crude oil that is right and i'm very became super fuckin rich and expensive it was like nine thousand dollars american to get a quarter pounder with cheese and i'm barely exaggerating it was like fucking ridiculous so evidently now in norway all those jobs like working at a seven eleven helping people cross the crosswalk handing out flu shots all those jobs nobody wants to fucking jobs are done by swedes this guy are mexicans like we drive across the border do jobs they don't want to do and then drive back or live in little shitty apartments out there what is finland exports nokia phones in copenhagen
fucking tour of are of honor of honour what all scandinavia plus finland i learned finland's no party scandinavia that i tell you this last week i don't give a shit has any funny i know it's been interesting specially you'd if you haven't read anybody history because this is all sounding factual and fascinating i don't know how much of it is right but if you know why get blame or i can play me i don't give a shit houses they blame the fucking swedes who told me that night aids nice to be back in switzerland ha ha ha ha like shit swing sweets swede the fuck you want from me i would like it to be through their we'd like you if you're going to fly for fourteen fuckin hours actually realise where you are in the world
once again i know i was just joking around and all that bullshit i want to thank everybody came out with a fucking vltor education are these guys maybe a little bit smarter yet a lot dumber because i have all these new subjects that i can talk about that i don't really know anything about and die finland to me was the most interesting because i was basically three hundred miles from the russian border and you know flew over the baltic sea and it was like i could really there was definitely just a different via about their like they they get this whole vibe out there that they don't have any rich people in their country which is fucking hello is because they have banks you know and i guess in film the big thing is you know if you get money you don't you don't show it but you have it so it's like how the fuck would you just know there's no fucking way
thing i learned doing this talk is people are fuckin people like relationship shit that i was talking about oh my god she tells the story and it goes on and on forever and i'm so fucking bored strewed three hundred miles from the fucking russian border and i'm like this is digs the exact same shit just speaking today language so completely forgot my point here the fuck i was trying to oh i know yes they're trying to yap seasickness tellin me there's no rich people there there's no way that would mean that you have no screening people and no sociopath somehow you managed to have millions of people in your country you now yet you only have nine green people should complete bullshit i got it i gotta show you guys this picture of this french riviera riviera riviera that is the wrong child family built this fucking house up there okay
system to tell me how you legally and i know it's legal but you know there's no honest fucking why you see this fucking house this villa right this thing is like this size of like nine boston public libraries it's absolutely fucking and this is like a cottage date the biggest fucking crooks on the on the planet they are the biggest blocking crooks i truly believe plenty of money we then i'm a socialist now because i went over therefore fuck you i felt this before i went over there there is enough money people there's an money to have health insurance there's enough money for all that shit ok if these concepts
point taken all of it i truly believe that but i am not done enough to believe that if you give everybody it isn't this gotta be away where you can adjust capitalism will you can have like you know for a robber barons taken everything and then all of the rest of us dealing with the trickle down effect but on the same level you can't just give everybody like it doesn't make a difference you try or not you know you still got to have its like the camaro out you got it you can't just have this everybody gets a z twenty eight there's gotta be the rally sport there's gotta the berlin eta and there's gotta be the z twenty eight there's gotta be a little does a little stars on your forehead as to how well you doing euro zone any fuckin sense i gotta tell my
fellow americans if you have to fucking go over to europe do it when you young and if the old who gives a fuck get a baby sitter tell you kid you love em you know we'll be back in a week go fuck yourself don't take any shit just like our way in my pocket definitely go over there we landed in switzerland swiss air on the way back and i just watched a bunch of videos about switzerland and it would be an absolute crime if you never fucking go there in your life the french river any of the ship and i know it sounds like some elite is count but i'm not i'm not i am ignorant of all of this shit i went over their tits fucking incredible and he was funny when you travel over then that type of ship when they start giving you shit about being an ignorant american you know me sometimes your more travelled than they are they do the exact same shit they dont travel is much they train act like they do you know
they don't really go that far you just go like just look at a fucking map you can fit like the majority of europe in texas so they tell whether they get to rack up all these fuck oh i've been to fuck in germany had been de france have been the area really i've been rhode island need new hampshire my voice practically all of em talking about europe can amazing i told all you sons of bitches over there then was gonna work i'm gonna be doing this this every year so every year you're on the list now during the year when a do a whole run over there i think i might add iceland the next time i'm actually thinking of going over there twice a year a way through it
england wales scotland ireland norwegian countries i just hop right across there and i found new fucking place that i want to go to the faroe islands faroe i want to go check that shit out i got to bring me a too cuz she gets freaked out by nature faroe islands basically seem like the galapagos islands of the fucking north alright done being a fucking liberal elitist kontir the podcast podcast by the way if you just we are not on itunes okay because you know what happened was basically i got banned from itunes and then steve jobs died so i'm kind of pete rose i mean that situation where people got banned by the commissioner and then he died right after that and now nobody wants to reverse that guy you know
you go against steve jobs the guy was a year a genius telling people to invent stuff as far as i can tell like when it because of a computer could do this i want to know where is the guy who actually sat down and made his ideas come true those guys he's like the lead singer blamed the guy who fuckin actually did all that shit he's like the guy plain keyboards a drummer or maybe the hired gun i maybe like the hired gun like that guy dizzy who was guns'n'roses towards the end he left and then i got a guy dizzy was there any was there ever ever a worst disintegrate of abandoned guns and roses they came out they had their fight fucking guys though the whole thing just all went to shit like mash when they like
regards left after the fuckin first season it was never the same fiji honeycomb gimme a fucking break guarding your advice you gave me about telling my friend about his cheating fiance vaguely remember this is guy called up embracing set a body of his risk engaged to this girl cheat nano and watch i do should i tell him and i finally just said yeah tell so you have a and clear conscience so here is the update yellow i was high eating a big mac you should just said the other day i was in florida and doing sales calls for my job when you read my advice letter obviously almost crash but my manager but men to call my friends that new the story who also agree to write you any mail about it long story short we talked listen to the podcast do you guys had a meeting of the mines after listening to i done ass
the friend that presented the bad news to us broke the news to our friend how sweet and told them he could and i guess the body he confronted history i say and as expected things were only bad for a few days we definitely going to detail here come on you can't leave us hangin so you front your friend and what does he do firstly i must have been like do what the fuck are you talking about and then fiance few days bottom line we all got it what you said we need a clear conscience sincerest thanks billion right well i hope he had the brains not to merrier please tell me did that just let me does the commission do you can't leave his i'll hang in here this is like a soap opera now are you
on invited to this wedding that shouldn't happen or you they are drinking with them now trying to how not to pick enough fuckin poison twat whore let us now let's have a follow up i'm all matter about you guys but you know this is like i just saw great pilot up his sword of a new show i want to see the rest of it all right here we go and topics i want the chinese with quick story of my own last when i was on the subway fucking around with my phone when some woman gets on the train and stands in front of me corner of my eye i can see that she was pregnant i remember her rolling up a shirt like beach and she was trying to show off her physique that's gonna weird begin to squeeze the bump like some squeezing her breasts together it wasn't a pregnant chick she was a fast
she was excited when she saw me getting up greece's bouncing tub of shit lower stomach i remember feeling nauseated jesus christ the beautiful chicks sitting next to me saw the whole thing and called me a jerk i didn't say that because i don't want to start a confrontation with her so i just sat there so the bureau girl began to back gather her stuff i gifts to make a point and get up it's something caught her eye and she sat back down i guess she realised that the woman still squeezing her fat together wasn't pregnant the woman sitting next to me didn't apologize and neither did she have to she probably vomited the words anyways the beef to be pregnant soccer teeth walked away and mom some racist shit under her breath
is wire fat horse now pretend we pregnant i don't know about that i think he saw one crazy girl and also you know somethin ring that story halfway through it she might have been a fat fuck you got pregnant that's why she was lifting up her back belly to be like look not only is there a bunch of fat here there's also a baby in here she had a baby man maybe she was pregnant i have no idea but that is really a fucking weird thing that she would pull it up start motion it together if she's early on in the pregnancy me what's he doing the kid at the sky all right here's the latest and my lost all momentum in this fuckin podcast you know that me what have described some fuckin first trimester foetus getting squashed but not not jet lag bill not judge a bag leg fuck it
bill can even talk here was sittin here given a goddamn history lesson of a part of the world he knows nothing about absolutely nothing the new hot topic here on the monday morning podcast dilemmas aright number one bill would you they have a three inch penis and make ten million dollars a year or of a tenant penis and only thirty thousand dollars a year your penis size and salary can never change i take the three inch dick in that million all fuckin day long you know you know it's fuckin overrated just having a fuckin giant dick fucking a bunch of women sure you're gonna get old i know you does like his guy out of his pocket my eye maybe because i'm old now and i don't give a fuck issues you want what you want a nice house you want to find job that you love
a punch money out of it and then you want to get the second grill ever and then vote friends or whenever fuckin blood i write what do you do with your big they can your teacher salary what're you gonna do faction leader and get in trouble that's all dicks gonna do you know what maybe that's why you only make thirty grand a year could you two basic fuckin everything i would definitely i would die take the three inch geese step that would be brutal that that would be brutal when you first coming of age you know i guess maybe not because hopefully you mess around the girl has seen a bunch so she doesnt realize you know then she i thought it was supposed to hurt the first time i was actually rather plus yeah either one of those scenarios would suck blood
how long at all honesty how long this fuckin last be honest they say you're really going at it come on did you really fuck for a half hour or more come on distantly consistently but when you fucking eighteen and every time the wind blows you know you're fucking around i'm just saying you don't you go where you do you know what you don't like you walk in and home depot you not wandered around you know where she is you go and you get you got to the register a fuckin end deal is done i would take three age penis all fuckin day log poverty and dick and sleep on a futon the fucking life is that old man with my long fuckin elephant trunk dick in my white puber on top of it
poking out the whole of my fuckin tidy whiteness look alike i then elephant man down man or fuckin do that shit fuck that he's got a surprise you guys yet more you can really be surprised me would you put on a jets jersey this is number two and why tom brady had talent space that is the most overriding cubey quarter in the end i fell or where the same jets jersey and walk up to sanchez and tell him with a straight face and insincere voice that you think the greatest quarterback that ever lived i would do either one of those i would wear a gestures you tell marked sanchez he's the greatest cord back that ever lived cause he wouldn't believe it no goddamn well is it i would give a shit she i would do i would walk up with the jets jersey it say that tom brady's most overrated qb ever because it probably happened
every time he walks into a stadium there's somebody with the other teams jersey on tell him that is over rated then he's a fag because of his hair cut yeah yeah you don't give a shit i would ask we do that i would do that and i would say something even meter and and i would do it right before the jets play the patriots and then i would fuckin bet a thousand bucks on the patriots cause brady would come in and slice you fuckin throats that was an easy one sir you got to go a little harder bill i got a dilemma for yeah yeah that's it offered by the way dilemma spill classic pain verse disgusting one right here would you one take a seventy percent power my tyson straight left to the bridge with emmi mme gloves on or lick the dump at one of his disease bag pigeons leave on your windshield
fresh no question bird ship without a fucking dub i would lick the whole fucking i don't have pride brains and i want to keep him in my head that's the young man says i take this this seventy percent power punch both mike tyson and then when you get to do after that with your brain damage what're you gonna do price for that i would do the bird shit and i invite all my friends and i would like jack ass in watch him laugh there ass off and if i puke i'd let mike tyson kick me the ass either way i would be way in column by not
taken that dude i got a little nose it would not exist if he did it would it would be like a little paper hat just flat net i would look i would look apart african american by tommy was doubtless be that's how much he was flat not my fucking little pointing german knows no fuckin way oh fuck away my ever because the thing about mike is not only does he know how to fuckin punch he has that he goes in and out of crazy he'll say some of the most insightful shit you ever heard your life you like this guy is a borderline and genius and he will just slip into dish were you just like ok start looking for you no extra exits in the room i look up saying this like i hung out with them that's how intimidating he is i've just watch shit there so they go
you know you don't i should start doing i should start we should start haven't like a football pool you know me start posting these these dilemmas on the import gas dot com and then you i try to guess which one i'm going to take they go you got to see me play a couple a games here you know what sort of scheme i'm running see you guys get my fuckin head on advice on enjoy football i'm guessing this is soccer or maybe this is america football i don't i've read these fuck it thinks bill i when'd vice question that could affect the plot cast ok could you somehow explain the appeal of football to someone who finds the stereotypical football fan extreme the offensive to class why i enjoy seeing feats of athleticism and well laid strategies unfold as much next mad and i'm told football has both of those thinks i think all sports do however
i find that i cannot even begin to enjoy watching football for this people fact that i find the stigma of being a football fans to be offensive gatt you know what do your who gets offended disguised somehow balding balding lotta people balding you mean yet dick harry body yet balding beer bellied face painted screaming morons i was hoping that perhaps you sir with apparent knowledge of the ins and outs of the said game as well as those who new england educated person access that you sometimes you're insecurity there i saw like a fuckin moron could exceed the appeal of football and objective way to the rest of us assuming the answer is not if you don't like football go fuck yourself will look sir
you're doing what everybody does okay you're just fine football fans by the worst of football fans it's not your fault should i said about the raiders going to go see what is at midnight madness movie that everybody likes to go see at two in the morning i've never seen i've that always uses a reference i don't they like not everybody the raiders game is dress like therein a fuckin musical the rocky or a picture shows that not dressed like that ok most of them just like a rate or t shirt on maybe a fuckin jacket and they just go under football game in the crowd they gotta put that douche whose dress lecture barker you know what guy's got the job how'd that usually we could have let you do they try to its liking you're fucking loser
the fuckin losers yeah i don't know that that's not what football fans and also sir you don't have to go to games at this point you can get yourself a nice high definition tv that's cheaper than buying season tickets gets around sound you can get a grill gone and he can sit there the comfort of your own fuckin home and enjoy the goddamn gave our right but i don't i hate the word defensive and that's that's my fault that's that's on me it has just been a comedian the amount of people the people who use that fuckin word i find that like offensive it's like nato you don't find a fucking if you just find shit that bugs you offense if you're not the kind of person who is easily offended you fucking selfish deciding office make such gas edged gaffer complaint i had no idea if you want to watch football i would you i will watch now watch in home pick a fuckin team and i would watch college football
with that and they work your way up to probe just stay at the college level it is a fucking great game get up on the game dont be some douche who paints his fuckin face in his chest and then just watches the ball and routes for a color so are you do it you know people out there who hates stand of comedy you know they define it the worst of stand up comics so at all help you i know i gave you a little bit of shit and i hope i didn't offend you but yeah that's what i would do i would watch you do not like i don't go to sports bars anymore i don't they rac a fucking moron and it's for the worst of sports fans dead there for the sportsman that wants to sit there and it's just waiting for the first play that their team does that actually you know goes well with a gain like eight nine yards did just waiting for that to happen so that
it could then turned to the right or left in just go all day all right they're morons daily good thing about going to a sports bar is singing the girls who go there dress like strippers with a football motif tie off jerseys and we're like thigh highs just i dont know what they're doing i think they are enjoying people leering at them why they would pick that low grade level of human being to liberate them i have no idea maybe they have some sort of middle middle age gangbanger fantasy you know when they wanted everybody to be dressed like vikings but vikings don't exist anymore so they're gonna get gang bank by some minnesota viking phase out of pocket no shit food yeah the the other tv screens are so fuckin loud it bleeds into the game you're trying to watch it just idle like i don't like
and then i find that most people in there if they haven't they know a lot about the game it's because they play fantasy football so they're just stat getting morons and i can't really talk about the game is bill and arrogant can't when it comes to sports bars are right let's go let's move on advice bill let me start by saying like you park yes thank you your deaf we above but i will try my best people choice short and sweet here's little background first my friend is a list of europe ass in always and his well what first off my feet what is a listener of your podcast as well we here in this on your part podcast will catches attention as he realized how it exactly relates to a very very very well played sir so rather than you walking up to them and they having the key protection you want need to do it for you okay
here that podcast listeners evidently what are your friends has written in and as a like an issue with you so let's all pay attention shall we won't you scoots you fuckin driver's seat up a little closer to your dashboard let's pay attention ignore the fuckin lights just yet of dry like thirty five miles an hour that's that's a great speed plenty a time before could swear my friend kid with a girl he thought he wanted to be with let me just say capital letters fucking idea the girl is off for fucking rocker for sure and most females have maybe insecure tendencies i think most human being still to be fair but this bitch gives an entirely new definition it is to the point it's to the point that she literally dictate who we can and can't be friends with
on various social media websites as well as the rest as is real life gets this is then whose fault is that she can dick eight all she fuckin wants here have to listen to it but if he goes our ok that's that's on him the real point of my story comes now well thank you for wasting my time oh you just painting a picture sir i recently engaged in a debate with his girlfriend about strip clubs oh jesus was that a mistake now i suppose different patrons i suppose different patrons of strip clubs have different raises foregoing but this girl has its twisted fucking idea of what actually goes on there the strip club topic came up because a few of my friends and i were planning on a night night out she clouded apostles trip to the strip club ones a girlfriend found out this was a pretence
he'll destination she flip the fuck out for lack of a better word this triggered a huge facebook debate which she insisted that guy's go to stroke plugs to get horny and if her boyfriend that why doesn't he stay home and get some action from her why else would you go to a strip club you are horny ability to get a woman naked and you give up but i just pay one to do it and she'll rubber my janes here yeah but one of my baby days if you got a real fucking skanky one so far i'm agreeing or thorough why else would you go there unless you want to go there and trying fucker stripper at which point you don't get the lap dance you hang up at the bar and act like now give a fuckin then from there i don't really know what happens first off a stir
there is much more appealing then than this one what the psycho girl even at the lower end of the spectrum but that's not the that's neither here nor there opera is much better looking than this guy's girlfriend whilst this guy's getting dictated to by some fuckin mediocre look unchecked ass i said you know a second check if you gonna get the ship kicked out here the guide better be like an oil man and you're living villa in the french fucking riviera right if you have to get the before you that's an easy dilemma would you rather get this ship kicked out are you buy a substitute teacher or a ceo of exxon all right
survey says let me continue with this she also had an issue with the fact that these were local girls and for some reason that pistol rough even more because they live in the area all crazy woman she has decided that a boyfriend is apparently a pragmatic and can fuck anyone he wants ok would you say now my dear how how far off is this check when she's the guy's went to strip clubs to get horny that really showed how fucking moronic she is like real question is can my friend do to get his girlfriend to turn crazy off i've been trying to help him for years but i just can't find all right let's stop here so whilst you go to a teddy bar you don't are there to look at chicks and fucking get aroused what what are you go therefore to check out the
all fashion of farms do you go there to drink dollar bud lights why do you go there you go there to see naked women answers and maybe strike a conversation and get the fuck one with their key in the crib in the other room you do it isn't it that their boyfriend didn't get early release from his assault fuckin conviction isn't that what happened i don't know maybe i don't fucking know what can i do to get his girlfriend to turn the crazy off can someone not did not that's it he's got a while you gonna break up of the bigger walk away or you have to accept their craziness you should have been trying to help him for years but i just can't find the way because there is no way sir it's
trying to get a drug attic to stop doing drugs you can't do it they have to want to do it so he asked decide that he's had enough all right and die what you need to do want to do this is just express the fact that listen your girlfriend's nuts and she treated like shit and it hurts me as a friend to watch this happened ok you need to get her in line and if you do this disconnected and your friendship with them because guys lotta times juice pussy confirm pussy i should say confirm see over the friendship with their that their guys spot you know some point you just gotta say listen do i don't wanna hear anymore stories about this girl treat you like shit ok you're not gonna stick up with these self whatever reason you don't do that but i don't want to listen to tell me stories about what a fucking psycho she is because it hurts me as a friend
stick up for yourself can frustrating for me here so you wanna talk about sports you want to talk about the fire european union or whatever the fuck you want to talk about we talk about the shit i learned it finland attacked a talk to you about that i give a fuck right we will talk about talk about anything but that crazy vegetable fuckin here anymore that you're only option there but other than that there's nothing you can do as i always say it's that goodfellas cuz he's thieves choosing the he pussy in the hand versus the possible nice too bush does it make any sense while bushes in there i think there was some sort of sign felt fell the injunction that
alright overheated underrated overrated trains your podcast have to flying twelve hours on swissair you know i feel like a boxer that's quit the rig i'm really trying to the funny guys i swear to god i don't i don't want to know what you want from me you know you i feel right now i feel like i'm playing pop warner football my dad and you just saw that i quit and that i don't have what it takes you know if i second your blaming the sperm that was in your nuts for you suddenly realize that you can just blame it on your wife all right over it under if the weak under age sandwiches we all rarely if ever here's some would say that a sandwich is their favorite food there or versatile than any other type of food and we take them for granted it which is where women they would divorce
says due to under appreciation and take half of our shit are right yet you know some people she don't like i'm a huge sandwich fat is the greatest idea ever slices of bread robot your shit the middle of it through your people was ever eaten a sandwich still but hungry afterwards stroman europe out of am i still talking am i dreaming this podcast at this point i don't know overrated it ruins lives at marriages thank you sir thank you that's what i was trying to say why i would choose the three inch dick and ten million dollars a year as opposed who attends deck and thirty grand here it sex is already started wars and cause countless death it's tv and used to advertise the most non sexual products used
your social standing and who you like to fuck affected by who you like to fuck you start talking the wrong person yet after jacking off and releasing sexual tension all of it looks stupid exam rub one out then think about it that's what my grandfather always said even if he didn't he fucking should have now that's it that is exactly it you got this giant fucking bit my act about gold digging whores and it basically comes down to that i was basically talking about shorts and eager and how he lost everything by fucking the ugliest women on the planet like why the fuck if you're gonna go all in future put it all on the line why do you do that with that woman
once i call cause he's done cause you stupid it's like now because a guy's sex drive is that fucking overwhelmingly powerful but it's like i really think everyday you should just fucking rub one out clean yourself up and then get a sheet of paper out and write down some goals for the day and your life in the world would be better off it's really it's fucking horror of we are basically designed to keep this species going how strong are fucking sex drive is women don't fucken understand and i don't expect them to understand it and because it brazil to them they just look at it simplistically that were morons and that were animals and that were pigs we debt
we behaved like all three of those things but it's our sex drive is like your period it causes us do crazy shit that's not one week of its every fucking day arise is no excuse for the imf fuckin guys out there who ve complex all this tremendous stuff to lose it because of their dick it makes no fucking sense and obtain you these can ladys who go on tv and just say he's an area is a piggy still with their there that that they don't get it they just don't care but i understand why they don't get it you'd have to have a dick the falcon that's one of the greatest fucking overrated just imagine
successful be if you had your dick and check you know if you walk away from there you shouldn't be fucking around with just think of how many years would you get back in your life i was wrong happiness would be in your life if you just listen to your dick thirty percent less telling you i don't know but you you're really fuckin with nature because nature made women's so fucking beautiful and guys so fucking horny that you can't resist it there's a reason for that it keeps it keeps this fucking going i think that's going to be my spinal uninformed scuffing are basically the make up of our dna
oh shit so that is the pod cast where this week i must say that i do in our in five an hour from the bottom of my fuckin a working hard i want to thank everybody finland everyone england who came to my shows it was an unbelievable education as much as i like a moron i had it was that's torres i've ever done just as far as getting see things that i never would have got to see if i never took the chance to tell jokes the amount of working people when i was over there asked me why would you come here and it kind of became this running joke between me and nia cuz we're big fans of that movie country for old man oh fuck it tat no country for old man you know and whenever you
kept saying to the psycho there you don't have to do this in these like everybody we said that that was the same thing why would you come in stockholm sweden cuz it's fucking beautiful i don't know cuz why would you if you could play i want to go over there start selling out shows come over there once a year makes them fucking thanks and cronies and whatever and then fucking go fly to another part of europe i never been to fly to three days i want to get out of the french riviere and i want to stand outside that rothschild house await for one of them come up i shall see what one of looks like just stand there like nine miles away at the bottom of their driveway the boy his bull horn ever
fine that's when i realized that's what that vision is that we can have a picture of that they are the plantation owners the try to become the plantation owners of the universe bankers are it's just fucking unreal do you realize if you get a thirty year mortgage and you pay it off in five how can you say you do that what percentage of that thirty or loans that let's see if i can do this to be your last laugh or the fucking weakness ok ten percent would be a third i see cut that have for example fifteen will say fifteen sixteen percent of the loan ok now you pay it off in basically fifty ten percent
actual time they gave you to pay it off ok but for some reason if it takes you five years in that loan you still give them like fucking i swear to god like thirty percent of the interest that they would have got if it took you thirty years and had a fact is at work how to fuck is that legal you pay it off and five fucking years you still if you talk about how much you paid for the house plus all the interest mt of time you're gonna have to hold onto the house just a hopefully fuckin break even before the kidneys fail and he got a sell the house because your insurance company tells you go fuck yourself in and they get another thirty year old in here to do it all over again the fuckin criminals absolute
criminals but it's all legal it's all fuckin legal man i touch it what's the forecast for this week thank you go fuck yourself
talk to you sons of bitches next week
Transcript generated on 2019-11-23.